- Hi.
Hi.
Can I have a pint, please?
Oh, I haven't got my wallet, mate.
Is that gonna be a...
Oh, no, come.
- Sorry. Can't.
- What do you mean, you can't?
- Can't you just pay off your phone.
- With you lot.
You've heard about that Russian cybersecurity going around.
You haven't, right?
Come here.
Now, they can get into your phone, right?
Track your movements.
Drain your bank account
like that. (fingers snapping)
It's fucking serious, mate.
And it's Christmas, mate.
And you can't be a dick at Christmas, can you?
It's not Christian.
- Sorry mate. I'm not allowed.
- Shit. (groans)
Right, ow, you are on my list.
How'd you like that.
Hello, mate.
You wouldn't?
Would you buy me a...
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Yeah.
- No, I can't.
- Can't.
Thank you. (hand thwacking)
- What the heck are you doing?
- Ah, mate. I know.
Just bear with, a bit strange.
You, sir, owe this poor sir a pint
to apologize for my awful behavior.
And I'll have this one.
You know, waste not, want not and all that.
And, you know, well, (indistinct).
What do we say?
I don't know either.
Wait.
- Geez. What a dick.
Sorry, mate.
I'll grab you another.
- It's fine.
- Oh.
- I was leaving anyway.
- All right.
Merry Christmas.
- Hello, mate.
Hi.
- What do you want now?
- Nothing. No, no.
I just...
I vomited over there,
and the smell of the vomit is making me want to vomit again.
You know?
And I'm worried that the smell of that vomit
is gonna make me wanna vomit again.
That's gonna keep going until I eventually die.
Right. Look.
I can see things clearly now,
and I just want to apologize.
- It's fine. I don't care.
- Yeah.
A bit of a bad day and I took it out on you,
which is a dick move, but...
- Yeah. But we all have rough days.
- True.
But...
Let me make it up to you.
Oh, shit.
- So you found your wallet?
- Huh?
- You found your wallet?
Oh yeah, yeah.
No, that was all a ploy, mate.
- You don't look like someone who needs to beg for a pint.
- No, exactly.
Right. Listen to this, right?
Other day, walking along the High Street,
right, on the High Street, there's a bookshop.
In the shop, there's a book.
Book's called "How to Become Rich by Begging."
You know?
I think usual bollocks, probably dribble,
but it gets me thinking, right?
Take my parents, for example.
They are rich.
I mean, they're like wealthy they're so rich, you know?
But everywhere they go,
they always want to get something for free,
which is ridiculous, you know?
It's like giving laxative to someone
with diarrhea, you know what I mean?
And then it gets me thinking,
"Isn't theirs just a twisted form of begging?"
- But if your parents are already rich,
how do you become rich by begging?
- I said I saw a book, mate.
Not that I read it.
Thank you.
- Are you a musician or something? (laughs)
- Me? this?
No, no, no, no.
Not nearly cocky enough to think
that anyone would actually listen,
apart from these good people on the bus
who can't go anywhere.
Hello.
Dad did teach me though, but he left when I was six.
Married some buxom cunt who's much, much younger than me
and enjoys acting like my mum, which is fun.
Hate her and him since then.
I do own a little club though.
- Oh, wow.
That's cool.
- Yeah, yeah. Delirium.
It's some underground shit I opened with my mum's money.
The thing is, everyone thinks it's like this childish whim
to sort of spite my tight-ass family, you know, piss around,
piss money up the wall and fuck any possible pretty shit
that I find.
It's not saying it's necessarily untrue, you know,
but it's my business.
Just no one takes me seriously.
And you know, I am sort
of drowning in 2.3 million pounds worth of debt,
so I can't even blame them, really.
Ah, that's enough.
Do you ever just wish you were
made for something more, something bigger?
- Um.
Yeah, I mean, doesn't everyone?
- Yeah.
What do you do, then?
- Who, me? - Yeah.
- Oh, I'm an actor.
- That's amazing. That's amazing.
What have I seen you in?
- Probably things you wouldn't watch.
- No porn, then.
Sorry.
Joke. Joke.
That's a joke.
Theater or films?
- I don't know, I just, kind of, like being anyone
but myself, really.
- I've got an idea.
Right.
Where are you getting off?
- I think the next one.
- Okay.
Do you wanna keep doing this?
- Keep doing what?
- Talking.
I owe you a drink, don't I?
- I-
- I do.
I do owe you a pint.
Now listen, I'm going through some stuff,
and no offense, it looks like you're going through it too.
And I own a place not far from here.
It's dark, dingy.
It's great.
Well, it's not great.
But, you know, chicks love it.
And, you know, you can go there to,
I don't know, seal the deal.
- I'm gay, by the way.
- That's cool, man.
No, no. That's cool.
That's cool. That's cool.
Men probably love it too.
I do.
Look, drinking on my own
was getting pretty depressive, okay?
- Don't you have any friends of your own?
- No.
You?
- I think I've grown up enough to deal
with my own shit by myself.
- Look, I'm kind of scared of being on my own tonight.
Well, not that.
I owe you a drink, right?
A nice apology pint and then, you know, you can piss off.
- I'm not much of a talker.
- Well, I'm not really a listener.
Is that a yes?
That's a yes.
Perfect.
Right.
Couple of stops we'll be there.
- Thanks.
You should drink some water.
- Mm-mm.
You should never mix your drinks.
It's bad for your liver.
So, where are you?
What are you?
Sorry.
Detect a bit of an accent.
So I was wondering if...
- Yeah, no, I'm from Germany,
but I've lived here for four years now.
- Sweet.
Sweet.
Sorry.
Do you like Merkel?
Merkel. Do you like Merkel?
- Is that what you want to talk about?
- Well, yeah, no, I mean, you know, tough cookie, right?
Tough old nut in a good way.
Like, you know, just had that bad reputation.
- Bad reputation? Her?
What about you guys?
Did you vote for Brexit, Mr. Reputable?
- Fucking ow.
See, this is the problem, right?
Look, we just wanted to be masters of our own thing, right?
We didn't know about the implications.
No one fucking does.
They still don't, they can't sort it out, right?
And now, you know, you all see us like
we are the fucking bad guys.
Backstabbers, fucking Nazis or something.
Sorry, no offense.
- Okay.
Why did you say no offense?
The fact I'm German doesn't-
- No, I mean, I didn't mean...
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Just, right, let's.
Right. Forget that.
I'm trying to break the ice
a little bit and I think I'm struggling.
Sorry.
- Sorry.
I'm sure it's hard to be alone
with a gay guy from Nazi land.
- Come on.
Like, you don't even seem gay.
- Oh, great. Thanks.
You neither.
- (scoffs) What you mean?
- I mean...
- No, honestly, what do you mean?
- I was just joking, relax.
I'm sure you meant it as a compliment,
but it's not like it's a skill or a talent.
- See, that's me, right?
If life's an orchestra,
then I'm the guy playing the bongo. (laughs)
- Okay.
We agreed on one pint, no offense.
- Yes.
- Beer is a carbonated beverage
and it loses it carbonation over time,
which in turn loses its flavor.
And reason why I'm a quick drinker.
So if there is something you want to say.
- Uh, wow,
Now you speak German.
No, I just need to sort something, okay?
- Wait, where are you going?
- Nowhere, just the bathroom.
No, it's my brother.
I need to sort something out
and just slow down on the whole carbonation.
Okay?
Fuck.
- You took your time.
- My dad died.
- Shit.
Oh, I am sorry.
- Spare me the whole fucking shabang, mate.
You know, it's a week ago.
I don't give a shit.
Which is a lie, obviously.
I do give a shit.
The thing is, right, is that I spent my whole life
trying to prove that son of a bitch wrong.
And he dies thinking that I'm worth what?
Fucking nothing. You know?
And now it's too late.
He's gone
Fucking game over.
- Well, that should ease the pressure at least.
Well, my parents aren't dead, but they're far away.
I thank God they are far away.
Save myself the humiliation.
I can lie to them and tell them that I'm living a good life.
- Are you?
- I am.
But where should I start?
My bank card has just been rejected
and I can't pay for the box from where I live.
In a month's time, I'll be homeless anyway.
What else?
My acting career is at nothing.
And at the ripe old age of 29, I am making coffees
and cleaning stinky toilets.
And I started that today,
so I can't even claim some kind of expertise,
So...
- Shit.
So what, you giving up an acting or what?
- No, no.
I had an audition yesterday and they offered me a deal.
- Well, that's fucking great.
I mean, what are you complaining about then?
You know, this stuff never fucking happens to me.
You know?
Like, I thought that inheriting
my dad's money after, you know,
would mean that I could save my club.
But guess what?
He left it all to his last bitch.
So...
- I'm sure you'll find a way too.
- Yeah, maybe.
What if you need to do something bad to get what you want?
- All I know is we are both behind schedule,
so, I guess, whatever it takes.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Do you want another beer?
- Does that pope shit in the Vatican?
Yes, he does.
Thanks.
Same again.
- I was so scared.
I got the lines right, but a teacher came over to me
and says that she could not hear shit from her seat.
I cried so bad.
- (laughs) So sorry, mate.
- I hardly finished the play.
They recorded it.
I've never watched it
because I guess I'm still terrified of how bad I was.
It's like that tape is living proof
I have no talent. (laughs)
- Why do you like acting so much, then?
- That's a good question.
(laughs) I don't fucking know.
Okay, I think it's because when you are a character
in a story, you get to live in the world
where it has a structured, beginning, middle, and end.
Every line means something.
Real life has no meaning.
- Okay. I lied.
I know, I know.
Dick move, but, right.
This is the truth, okay?
Honest truth.
I always wanted to play music, country music to be exact.
It's just that I don't think I'm particularly gifted.
And, you know, my family see me
as like the laughing stock anyway, you know?
And, like, people see me as, like, this lazy,
privileged fuck up.
And I don't really want 'em to see me as a joke as well.
You know what I mean?
- And yet what I see there is a guitar.
- I know, mate.
I know, I know.
Ridiculous.
- And there's an empty stage now.
- (laughs) I'm not doing that.
- Oh, come on.
That band's never coming back.
- No, you just wanna take the piss out of me.
I'm not fucking doing that.
- They'll be happy to have a volunteer.
- No.
Ah, just stretch.
- Don't worry.
We will find you another stage.
- Who's we?
- You know.
Ever since my dad. (singer singing indistinctly)
I can't get this song out of my head.
It's "Forever Young" Bob Dylan.
He taught me it.
I was really young. I don't remember him teaching me it,
except that, you know, he told me that he did.
Anyway, as a result, it feels like
I've always sort of known it, you know,
like, it's a part of me.
Like...
Like it feels like it should have some meaning
or like, I should have put some more meaning on it.
You know?
Or like, it's a part of me, you know, like,
it's, like, maybe I should have done something with it.
Maybe it's my destiny.
- No, no, no, no.
It's called apophenia.
- Exactly.
- You have no idea what...
- I don't know what that meant.
No, no, please explain. (laughs)
- Okay.
It's when we have the tendency
to perceive some deeper meaning
or connection between unrelated things.
We all look for signs and we all want to believe
that the bad things happen for a reason
and that at some point, all of our suffering will pay off.
The truth of the matter is, there is no big picture.
There is no pattern, no faith, no such thing as meaning.
Just fortunate and unfortunate people.
- You are a nerd.
Like no, you are a fucking nerd, actually.
- I'm sorry. It sounded very depressing.
- Yes, very depressing.
Too depressing, in fact.
But, you know, I mean,
you do have quite a smile for a depressing guy.
Sorry.
It seems like you don't know that.
So I thought I should tell you.
- Maybe (indistinct).
I think we should go now.
- Yeah. - It's been a long day.
- Sure.
Yeah. No.
That's...
That was fun, right?
Right?
That was good.
Good fun.
- I'm leaving now.
- Are you seriously leaving?
- I am seriously leaving.
- Right.
Okay.
That's fine. That's fine.
But can I just show you something first?
I will not murder you.
That is a promise.
But after that, you can, you know, bugger off or whatever.
Yes?
Sweet, right, this way.
Onwards.
- Where the hell are we going?
- Don't worry about that.
Do you know about Ferdinand of Naples?
- Should I?
- Yes, you absolutely should.
It's a story my mum used
to tell me when I was little, right?
So, Ferdinand of Naples was like this ruler.
Not a very good one as it turned out.
Anyway, one day he's out at sea on like an excursion
collecting gold or trolls or whatever.
Anyway.
Soon, word arrives of a rebellion in his land.
So he spins his ship around, heads on back home, right?
Gets there.
And he orders his men to fire cannons
upon the rebels to intimidate them.
His men don't.
Do you know why?
They haven't got any canons.
- Is that it?
Is there no bottom line.
- Bottom...
Were you fucking not listening?
Don't show off if you haven't got what it takes.
- And your mother told you this story.
- Well.
Yeah.
Now, I'm never going to play music in my life.
And that's fine.
And I'm over that.
That's done. Whatever.
But I need to know,
and I kind of need someone to tell me
if they think I would've had what it takes.
Okay?
So don't laugh.
Okay.
Ah. Sorry.
Cold.
Okay. Okay.
Fuck.
Sorry.
This is stupid.
Fucking stupid.
Fuck.
I can't do it.
And maybe you're right, you know?
maybe life does have no meaning
and I am just a very dumb geezer.
But I don't know.
Right?
Like, I think that the only reason
that you can see the big picture in films
is because you can see the end, right?
Like, in real life,
you have no idea how your story is gonna end.
So how can you say that it lacks meaning, you know?
Like, take this moment, you and me right now here.
This could be another meaningless moment.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
Like, who knows?
Maybe one day, we'll look back at these moments
and it will be right there in front of us.
But we just couldn't see it yet.
- I don't like what's going on here.
- Why?
What's going on here?
- Come on.
- No, what's going on here?
Honestly. Tell me.
Please, please tell me.
You can't.
No, tell me.
Tell me.
I like talking to you, mate.
- I like talking to you too.
- All right?
So why do you want to leave, then?
Hey?
- Okay.
Okay.
I have an idea.
It's a dumb idea.
- Perfect.
- I read this study once, okay.
And this guy basically says
that human beings must spend at least 200 hours together
to establish a real bond.
It doesn't matter how powerful their connection is
'cause it's all biodegradable within this range.
- Biodegradable?
- Shut up.
Okay. I know.
But if this is true,
then we could consider these 200 hours as like a safe zone.
When two strangers come together,
they'll be themselves completely without holding back
'cause there are no strings attached.
They'll never see each other again.
Bit like a one night stand just without the sex.
- Like a sort of mental fuck.
- I wouldn't put it that way.
More like a free therapy session.
- 200 hours is a very long therapy session.
It's also a very long fuck.
- Agreed.
So I suggest 8:00 AM.
- what happens at 8:00 AM?
- I start my shift.
- Your shift?
What?
Barista at a coffee shop.
You've got a deal on the table.
- I haven't signed it yet.
I have to decide by tomorrow morning.
- And whats to decide.
- So, 8:00 AM, is that a yes?
- Yeah, all right?
Yeah. Sweet.
That sounds good.
I do have a small request first.
I'm starving.
- All right, so where do you want to go now?
- I don't know.
But we got to go.
- Is that another quote?
- Yeah.
Jack Kerouac, "On the Road."
- Wow.
Trying to impress me now.
- No, I'm not trying to impress you.
I've read a book.
One.
We're like Jack Kerouac and Neil Cassidy,
two lost souls on a desperate search for meaning.
- I'm not in search for meaning.
- Wrong.
You just think it doesn't exist,
which is different, right?
- Didn't he die of a hemorrhage caused by heavy drinking.
- Yeah.
Whatever, wanker.
How do you even know that?
Like, anyway, look, by the end of tonight, right?
We need to find meaning in our sad, desperate, little lives.
- Speak for yourself.
- What, is that such a mad thing?
- The only people for me are the mad ones who burn,
burn, exploding like spiders across the stars.
- You read it?
- No, I was just trying to impress you.
I know the quote.
Thank you.
- Okay.
Name one person who believed life had meaning
who didn't turn out to be depressed,
angry, hateful, murderous.
- Okay, okay, okay.
That's not even just, right.
Hold this.
Thank you.
Now, look at that.
Old pound coin.
Now, night my father died, I went to this place.
It's like my special place that I go to be alone.
Strum a few notes, that kind of thing.
So whatever.
Anyway, this particular night I go there
and there's a really heavy fog.
It's quite late, no one around.
And I sit down, I start to play,
and I get lost in it.
You know, just me, my guitar, my own thoughts, whatever.
But all of a sudden, bang,
this is thrown into my guitar case.
And I'm like, "What?"
So I'm there looking at it in a trance.
When I look up, it's too late.
All I see is the figure of a man
disappear into the fog like a ghost.
I know.
apaconic.
- Apophenia.
- Yeah. Exactly.
Whatever.
- It's a great story.
But life plays these tricks on us sometimes.
Just imagine life as a dodgy retail business.
- Love it.
Elaborate, please.
- Example, you want to be happy with someone.
Life puts a price on it.
And that's the unbearable pain
of losing this someone at some point
because you either mess things up
or this person dies eventually.
Unless you die first.
- (smacks lips) Right?
- But there's a catch.
Sometimes life sells you the package so well
that you invest in the package
'cause it looks like it's a done deal
and then you get nothing for your time.
- I have a question.
Who broke your heart?
- No one.
- No, please, just tell me, who broke your heart?
- No one. - No, honestly.
- No.
- Honestly, honestly. Just...
- I don't do boyfriends.
I tried, okay?
But now it's just me.
Me and my disposable moments of fun.
And it's okay.
I love it.
I play sports socially without the worry
of winning a competition.
I do a million things with random people I owe nothing to.
I go on the app and hook up with people
without the burden of whatever happens next.
And I'm happy with that.
Believe it or not.
Can you stop looking at me like this?
- Like what?
No, I'm not looking at you like anything.
You should know, though.
You do talk quite a lot when you're nervous and it's...
Come on. I know where to go next.
This way.
- Okay.
- Well, hurry up.
Hurry up.
I wanna get across town.
I wanna show you this place.
- Wait. What?
You want to go ghost hunting now?
Are you serious?
- Okay.
What if that figure
that I was talking about was actually my dad?
- Great. - Do I mean that?
- So you're serious.
We might as go great white hunting while we're are at it.
That would be fun.
- What a grand boy.
- Man, come on.
It's "Tremors."
By the way, I went to this eighties movie marathon
the other day at the Prince Charles and it was great.
Don't you think everyone in the eighties
dropped acid and made movies.
It was inventive, creative.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Shush, shush, shush.
I know that it's nonsense.
Like, objectively, I know that it's crazy,
the idea that your loved ones are watching you
from, like, above, right?
It's like, "Where?
How?"
Like, do they watch you when you're wanking?
When you're shitting, and all the other stuff
that you do in private on your own.
- If you want to do something in life, do it.
You don't have to wait for life
to give you a sign or your dad's ghost
to say he's okay with it.
Do it.
- How? How?
- Southern Monday's at Moonshine.
The biggest country music salon.
It's on tonight.
- I don't know, mate.
Saloon sounds like it's taking the fucking piss.
- It's not even far.
They have a stage, you can play, and it's your crowd.
- By the way, I did two years business management,
my parents' choice.
I hated it.
But maybe we could go there and gather some info on,
I don't know, how to open a music club.
You can play your music.
- Oh, yeah.
I can see my mom's reaction now.
Do you want to see me working as a seamstress, Oliver.
I love my club.
I'm not gonna give it up.
- But do you really, though?
Or are you just pissing around to fuck any possible chick
and all the other mature things you said before?
Is that what you want?
Men in the window like a prostitute in Amsterdam?
- Did you just call me a slut.
- Come on, look at them.
They're the best pieces on the market
and all they want is the whole world to wank them off.
But if you step back
and look at them from another perspective,
what you'll see is a bunch of sad wankers.
- Right?
I only do press-ups in the morning, I swear.
- Like Christian Bale in "American Psycho."
- Exactly.
Yeah same bod.
- If that's the path you want, then congratulations.
Come on.
It's a full chicken house at 1:00 AM.
What are you doing?
- All right.
I've got a challenge for you too.
You've gotta fight back.
You clearly just endure these kinds of men.
- Yeah, well, sorry.
I was bullied for pretty much all of my teenage years.
- Exactly.
Exactly, right.
You act like you can't do anything about it.
Like, it's your fucking existential condition.
Fuck it.
Do to them what they do to you.
Come on.
Hey, you got the grubble's attention.
That's it.
Oh.
- I think we should go now. - Yeah.
Oh yeah. No, he's.
He's coming.
- No, I think we should go now.
- We saw you sucking a cock in there, mate.
Hope it wasn't too salty, fuck.
(laughs) He was absolutely furious.
Shh, shh, shh.
What?
- Nothing.
Your breath smells of alcohol.
- That's fair enough.
I just realized that I don't actually know your name.
I'm Oliver.
- I'm Lukas.
- Ah, the force is strong with you, Luke.
- No, man.
I hate Star Wars.
It's sci-fi for dummies.
And it's Lukas.
No one calls me Luke.
I hate it.
- Shh.
- Hiya, lads.
I saw them going that way.
You two silky bollocks can come out now.
- Cheers, mate.
- Wait. Seriously?
I just saved your ass.
- What? That was a joke.
- Yeah, what do you want, money or something?
- He'll just use it for drugs.
- Fuck you.
- Whoa. Wait, (indistinct).
Why don't we...
We'll take him with us.
- Excuse me. What?
- Yeah, we'll take him to the saloon thing.
He can have some food in there.
It's Christmas.
- Fine by me.
- Can we not justify every bullshit thing
with, "It's Christmas"?
I hate it when people do this.
- Fine. Absolutely valid.
But is that a yes?
Sweet.
- So I legged it from Liverpool.
Now I've just gotta survive till I turn 16.
- You're 15?
- Yeah.
- That's fucking...
What happens at 16?
- I can live on my own, bro.
I don't wanna go back into the system.
Get some other parents.
I fucking hate parents.
- Yeah.
Who fucking needs 'em?
- All I wanna do, yeah, is be on my own.
I just wanna drink bevvies,
play footy, shag some pussy.
Do whatever the fuck I want with my life.
- Yeah. Right.
Sounds great, doesn't it, Luke?
- Yeah.
I think we're here.
- Lighter.
- They don't look very busy.
- This fella here wants to sing.
- This fella can just fuck off.
- Hi. Good evening, sir.
He just wants to play one song.
Promise.
- Yeah.
Ebenezer here wants me to sing.
He enjoys humiliating me.
So... (Oliver groans)
- Just one song, please.
- Now, why would I let him do that?
- Well, because it's Christmas.
- Next Monday, they'll be building
one of these stupid fancy cafes here.
Everyone will be happy
and no one will give a fuck about us.
Let me and this place die in peace.
- Any hope?
- What makes you think I could?
(scoffs) He won't even let his daughter have a life
'cause she's doomed to look after his grumpy ass.
Look, only Jesus could make him change his mind.
And believe me, I wish you were Jesus.
It would make my relationship with him a lot less pathetic.
- Well, you know, I could do some magic sometimes too.
- Yeah.
Well, why don't you start by getting
the fuck out of here, then?
- That's fair enough. Yeah.
- Should we go somewhere else then?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Hold on.
Did you find it, your West Virginia?
- (laughs) The fuck you talking about?
- Well, it's John Denver, right?
"Take Me Home, Country Roads."
Taffy Nivert and Bill Danoff wrote the song
for John Denver in 1971.
It's about West Virginia, but they wrote it on the way
to Maryland for a reunion.
None of them had actually been to West Virginia.
It wasn't real.
An idea.
You know?
Like a place to which you belong,
which keeps calling your name.
Look, we're not dicks.
I mean, they're not.
I can't speak for the kid actually.
- Oi.
- Ah, cheers.
We're looking for our West Virginia
and we found you along the road.
- Emma.
Get the bourbon.
- And I am the nerd?
- Hi.
So, thanks for joining us tonight, folks.
As you know, tonight is our last night.
- Okay, game on.
Are you ready?
- What if I don't have talent?
- What?
- Ferdinand of Naples.
- It's the stupidest story I've ever heard.
Okay, shut up.
And go for it. Go Oliver.
- Please welcome this young talent
who will hopefully give this
place the end it deserves.
- Come on.
That's... (guitar chiming)
Sorry.
- Come on, you dirt bag.
- Yeah. All right.
Oh, sorry.
Actually.
Look, I want to say something first.
I probably won't do this again.
Despite it being what I love, what I want to do.
And I could blame so many things.
The truth is I'm weak.
But, you know, I wanna say,
what the fuck is wrong with that?
You know?
I mean, since you're kids,
you're measured by numbers, reports,
and grades and salaries.
They say you have to be something.
You have to be someone.
You have to be the best.
And you can't be weak or fragile.
You have to be smart and strong.
And you have to fight
if you wanna achieve anything in this life.
And I'm like, "Wait a minute.
What the fuck?
Why?
Who says I need to achieve anything in the first place?"
You know?
"Why can't I just be me?"
I'm trying to be me for a night
and I'm so brainwashed that it's fucking terrifying.
So I'm just happy I'm not alone.
- Ah. - Ah.
- Ow, when you're 16.
- Fuck you.
- You let me s smoke a bloody bifta just a few minutes ago.
- But I was a different man then, want I?
Before my performance?
Can I have my fucking cigarettes back, please?
Thank you.
And lighter. Lovely.
- Don't want some sodding water.
- I know, I know, but, you know, if you're not gonna drink,
then wash up.
Stinky (indistinct).
- Oi. (people laughing)
- Hey.
You happy son?
- Honestly, I have never felt like this.
- Well, that's the problem with you young people.
You want to show everyone you're happy.
You don't even try to be happy.
- Ignore him, please.
- No, no.
You know what?
He's bloody right.
He's right.
Look at this, right.
I could show you I'm bloody rich.
Right?
Look at that.
Truth is, skinned, mate.
The nightclub scene has lost around what,
200 million the last five years?
But no one gives a flying fuck.
You know, people do socials
to pretend that they're actually experiencing something.
They're making a connection.
But we're just numbing ourselves.
- Wow.
The truth is, you have too much freedom.
It turns you into an insecure bunch of pricks
with no where to go.
- Exactly.
- And I guess that is all our thoughts as well.
Maybe we have no where to go
because there is no where to go.
There is a chance that we are the last breath
of the human race because of the fucked-up world
you pricks created.
And now we are left figuring out
what a million years of evolution were for.
Oh, but maybe you can tell us.
Hmm?
So why don't you tell us, wise man,
what was it all for?
- Luke, what the fuck?
- I don't know.
- Yeah, I thought so.
- I'll tell you something though.
My wife, she had these pure, gentle eyes
constantly wide open towards this chaos we're living in.
And unlike you and me, she never questioned it.
She just lived this chaos with all the tenacity
and beauty of a flickering flash of light in an ocean
of silent darkness.
She was pure joy.
And then one morning, a day just like any other,
I woke up and she was gone right beside me.
And I remember thinking, "What was it all for?"
I mean, she died.
Now this place has died.
I'll be next.
And yes, all that joy, that pain,
and all that hard work will be for nothing.
It'll be like I never existed.
But maybe it'll mean something to her
because all you can do eventually, son,
is give yourself to someone else.
And so we'll live forever.
Like a flickering spark of light
for someone else's darkness.
- To love.
Keep it going.
That's the one.
Perfect.
- Thank you for tonight.
Haven't seen dad like that in ages.
- So you don't want to come with us.
- What, and look for West Virginia?
Can wait for another night.
- I thought you were tired of dealing with his grumpy ass.
- I could ask you the same thing.
Although we're talking about a very different ass.
But...
- I met him just a few hours ago.
- And yet, I think he really wants
to help you find your West Virginia.
- I know where I'm going.
He just needed someone to give him a chance.
- Who's got my wallet?
That little prick stole my wallet.
- Maybe he still does.
- Luke.
Ow.
Luke, he's got my wallet.
Fuck.
- Can I say something?
- Please.
- I don't know if meaning exists,
but I definitely think calm resisting. (laughs)
- You know what?
You know what, actually,
what you said back there is right.
We should stop having children.
It's a fucking travesty.
There's too many.
We're fucked.
- That is not exactly what I said.
- Well, that's pretty much what you said.
- Come here. Come.
Jesus.
You know, it's statistically proven
that smokers have a tendency to self-destruct.
- Really?
You know, I've often thought about the dinosaurs, right?
Now, if someone had told them
that a big, old asteroid was gonna be hitting the Earth
and decimate their whole species,
would they have tried to save themselves?
I think no.
I think they would've gone,
"Absolutely fuck that.
I'm off."
- I feel like I've been avoiding asteroids my whole life.
What the fuck are you doing?
Are you praying?
- Yeah. Yes.
I'm praying for an asteroid not to decimate me.
I only pray when I need help.
- Which is not very religious.
It's just very convenient.
- You've never asked for help?
- Well, the last time I did, I met a guy.
- What the fuck is going on?
- Do you want to check it out?
Maybe they saw a ghost too.
- So what happened with this guy then?
- I really thought he was the one.
We took things slowly
and then we decided to have our first night together.
I mean, just sleeping next to each other.
After that, he just ghosted me.
And then after months of toxic stalking,
he finally revealed why he dumped me.
- Why?
- Because I snore.
Yeah.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He seriously dumped you 'cause you snore.
- Yup.
That's why I don't pray to God or anyone anymore.
I do sometimes still ask why.
Want to go in?
Escape reality?
I'll escape this fucking rain.
- What is this, like some kind of cult?
- No, it's like one of those places where they,
you can't hear the music unless you listen
to on the headphones.
It's weird.
- Then why are we whispering? (laughs)
- That's such a good point. (laughs)
- Which one of you crack whores wants to give me a blowjob.
- Shh.
- (laughs) See.
The world's gone quieter.
But if you scream, no one hears you.
Come on, then.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry (indistinct).
Thank you.
I just, I don't get people, mate.
Right.
They give up on you the first imperfections.
And it's just too much pressure, mate.
And that's just, like,
the first stage of intimacy, you know?
- Are there other stages?
- Yes. I'm glad you asked.
Now everyone sees intimacy, right,
as this big, like, philosophical question.
But it's not.
Do you know what true intimacy is?
When you can take a shit with the other person
right next to you.
I'm serious. I serious.
Right?
So, this time I was staying
at this chick's house, right?
This small studio flat.
And I just, I couldn't find a moment, right?
I was terrified to.
I was so bloated.
I felt like I was giving birth to twins.
I didn't.
It's when you can take a shit, no matter the smell,
the farts or the smell of those farts.
That is true intimacy.
- I still believe that it was an excuse though.
He knew I wanted something serious, but he didn't.
He made me believe it until he had fun.
So, do you want to embrace reality, Oliver?
- (laughs) What? This shit?
No, I'm not gonna do this.
This isn't clubbing.
This isn't even a club.
Even try and call it a club.
They just started this to deal with noise complaints.
Then it became a thing.
(laughs) You really wants to?
- I think we can go now.
What does that sign mean?
I keep bumping into them.
- Take courage.
It's just wordplay, I think.
John Courage is like the owner
of a big brewery or something.
- That's all.
I thought it was something more meaningful.
- Yeah.
Well, nothing means anything till it does, right?
- Look, I need to ask you, have you ever,
you know, you know what I mean?
I just feel like maybe we should
talk about the elephant in the room.
- Elephant.
I don't see an elephant.
I see a great big fucking blue whale.
- It's fine. Seriously.
I'm not a child.
I don't romanticize things anymore.
Before, I would be so desperate
that I would meet someone and, bang,
I would picture a happy future with them
in my head, like, immediately.
Or if I dated some closeted, in my head,
he would just come up with some big, epic speech.
'Cause what I'm saying is that it's okay
if you feel like pushing me away.
- It's not fine.
Of course it's not fine.
It's wrong.
It's cruel.
- Yeah.
But this isn't real though, is it?
You only being yourself because you know at 8:00 AM
we both got back to our lives.
It's okay.
It means this experiment worked.
- Then come home with me.
- What?
- I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Come home with me.
Fuck it.
Fuck the rules, Luke.
Fuck whatever happens next.
Let's give it a shot.
You and me.
- Listen, I'm not in the mood to have sex.
- What? Whoa.
Where's this coming...
I don't want to... (Lukas laughing)
I wasn't even thinking about sex.
No, I was, you know, I thought that maybe, you know,
we could watch "Tremors" together.
Would that be okay?
Watch tremors.
Like the whole saga.
Like one to 2 million or whatever.
- Only the first two are good.
- Okay.
Well, first two it is then.
Is that a yes?
Sweet.
Although I should probably let you know.
I wasn't gonna tell you.
But...
Apparently I snore.
I know.
And I didn't know until this chick recorded me.
And honestly, it was philharmonic.
Mental. (Lukas laughing)
You that cold? - Yeah.
- Honestly?
Right, here. Hold that.
Put that on.
- Thanks.
- Oh.
Do you want anything?
I'm just gonna, yeah.
Hey, you're not cold?
I just need to make a stop first.
- Where are we going?
- Yeah, I just need to sort something out
just for the club thing.
And then go home, right?
You look knackered.
- Look, I need to ask you...
- Yeah. Look.
Can we just not...
Look.
I'll be right back, okay.
And then, you know,
we'll just, I'll be like two seconds.
All right?
Would you hold that? Yeah?
Okay.
Just stay here. Yeah.
Should we go?
Thanks.
- Was that your girlfriend?
- No, it wasn't.
Look, I told you to stay here.
- She seemed upset.
- Yeah. Well, no doubt.
I woke her up 4:00 in the morning.
Can we go?
- I don't know.
I kind of think you should have mentioned it.
- Why should I?
I don't owe you anything.
Okay?
I don't owe you an explanation.
Okay?
I don't owe you fucking shit.
- Well, you kind of do.
- Why? What for?
- 'Cause you just invited me over.
And before that, when we first met, you said you might have
to do something bad to get what you want.
So, yeah, I think maybe we should talk about it.
- Okay.
Fine. Yeah.
Look, all I ever wanted in my life was to be something.
And I fucked that up.
And when I found out my dad was gonna leave me nothing,
I thought that I was done.
One of my friends owns another club
and he works with these people who help venues,
which, you know,
are behind on rents or start making a profit or...
Anyway, for a fee,
they bring in their staff to do security
and deal.
And I agreed to let minors in
so that I could make money off of them.
That woman that you saw me with,
that's my dad's wife.
Widow, I guess.
She came to my house this morning offering me money.
And I was so fucked up that I snapped.
And I said to her, I said one day I was gonna prove to her
and everyone I'll be the fucking man.
And then I went out and I beat the shit out of a tree.
- I never nailed that audition.
I failed it.
My first shift today was a mess.
I couldn't do anything right.
They yelled at me and I spilled this big cup
of boiling water on my hand.
And I got this burn.
So I was sent home.
That's when I got this call.
There was this big agent at my last audition.
He said that he wanted to talk to me.
I didn't even blink.
It was like all the pieces were finally coming together.
I believed it, Oliver.
Like you said, I did.
I believed it was a sign.
- Sign from who?
What did he want from you?
- He said that he could open doors for me
that I never could, that he could make me someone.
Aren't you tired of being invisible, Oliver?
- Did he hurt you, Luke?
- I agreed to that.
He asked.
I was jumping off a bridge before I met you, Oliver.
Now I feel like I can't bear it.
You know, eventually he'll grow tired of me.
- Listen to me, Luke.
Yesterday I got fucked up out of my brain
largely because I didn't wanna wake up again.
I'm unstable, Luke.
I haven't got the guts to jump off a bridge.
- Shall we go?
- Maybe you were right.
Maybe it's a bad idea.
Let's stick to the plan.
- Come here, you little prick.
- Whoa, whoa.
- What the fuck are you doing?
- This little prick just tried to steal my wallet.
The fucking scumbag.
- He's just a kid, man.
- He's no kid.
He's a fucking thief.
- What the hell's going on?
- I'm getting the shit kicked outta me by this dickhead.
- Oh, hang on.
What? You all know each other?
- Yeah.
He's- - He's our cousin.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
What's his name, then?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
Let's just calm down, okay?
Now listen, you're upset and that's fine.
And you're drunk and that's fine too.
But look, it's all good, right?
You got your wallet back, right?
And you've broken his nose.
He's learnt his lesson.
So how about you just, you let...
- Daniel.
- Danny boy go?
Yeah?
- Look, he is better off dead.
He's useless.
See, we pay for shits like him.
- They're just unfortunate people, man.
- And then there's foreigners.
And then they come to my country and tell me how to behave?
- Do you know Ferdinand of Naples?
- No fucking clue.
- Well, let me tell you about him.
He was a ruler, a king, an Italian king, I think.
- Yeah, in Naples.
Can we go? - Anyway.
He was sailing through his kingdom
when rumors spread of a revolution.
So on his return, he ordered his men to fire the cannons
to announce his arrival, to scare those people.
But the soldiers don't do it.
And when he asked them, "Why?"
They say, "Well, we have no cannons."
- I mean, what the fuck are you going on about?
- It means he didn't have what it takes.
And even Ferdinand of Naples
in his expensive shiny armor.
Huh?
When you really look at him,
all you see is a sodding dead weight.
- Jesus, Luke, what are you doing?
- Shit.
- Thought you told me to stop enduring these people.
- I didn't mean that.
Christ.
Jesus Christ.
- We should go.
- Fucking go.
Danny, stop it, idiot.
Give me my wallet back as well.
(laughs) That was amazing.
- Well, fuck you.
- Put it back in.
- I think she got to me brain.
- I didn't realize you had one.
- I hate you.
- (laughs) No you don't.
No you don't.
Otherwise you wouldn't be following us, would you?
- I wasn't.
- So it's a coincidence we found you then, was it?
- Whatever.
Look, I'll let them check on me, but then I'm gone.
- Why?
They're going to help you.
- I don't want help, you gobshite.
They'll put me back in the fucking system.
I want to be on my own.
Why didn't you teach me how to play?
I could earn a living busking.
- You'd need a lot of practice
- (laughs) And a license and talent.
- You're a poof, aren't you?
- What does that mean?
- A faggot.
I need to know in case I need to watch me ass.
- Luke, wait.
You okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
- You sure?
- Yeah. What?
You think? I can't handle this stupid kid?
- Little bit. Yeah.
I guess.
- You know, he only wants you for your money,
probably to buy some drugs.
Funny thing.
He doesn't know he can get it straight from you.
And I wonder when they find him dead on the street,
if you had any part.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, me too.
I'll be back in a minute.
- Wait, Luke.
Fuck.
- Can you fucking stop?
You'll break it.
Do you actually want to learn?
- Yeah.
- Did you find him?
- No.
He's gone.
- Well, just call him then.
- I haven't got his fucking number.
- Look, I think my nose is fine.
Should we just cut this shit and get out?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- So you don't have his number.
You don't know where he lives.
You don't where he works.
- I told you I met him tonight.
Luke.
- Hey, bender.
- And cut that shit out.
- It was just a joke.
- I don't give a fuck if it was, okay.
You know nothing about him.
Clear?
Luke. - Sorry.
What is this place
- I was gonna take Luke to see.
Silly really.
I don't know.
Means quite a lot to me.
Used to come here and play guitar as a kid.
- I'm surprised you're still alive.
- Yeah, there was definitely some booky moments.
Used to sneak out and not tell anyone I was coming.
- And do what?
- Yeah, all sorts.
Start fires.
Gaze at the stars.
Play a few chords.
Be on my own.
Maybe some people are better off on their own.
- I've got to go, lad.
I need to find my West Virginia, yeah?
But if I could give you a bit of advice,
go out there and find him.
I think sometimes people think they're better off alone,
but maybe they just run away and hide
because they need someone to find them.
And when you do find him, tell him I'm sorry, yeah?
I was a dick. (laughs)
I guess.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Very astute.
And if I can give you one piece of advice,
if you ever find yourself stuck
or at a loose end or whatever, here.
Delirium.
That's my club, all right?
Well, it's a club right now.
Might be something else someday.
Ah, actually, I'll take those back.
- I'm a man now. (laughs)
You're something.
- What's this?
- It's apophenia or something.
Keep it.
Could be anything you want, mate.
Also.
Spend it wisely.
All right.
- I'll see you around, lad.
- I wouldn't.
- How did you?
What are you doing here?
- What the fuck are you doing here?
- I was just thinking,
- Okay, would you mind taking a couple
of steps back from the edge, please?
- Why don't you just leave me the fuck alone?
This is just some game for you, isn't it?
A fun little experiment.
Some people can't support games, Oliver.
They were right, you know?
You are lucky you were born and rich
'cause no matter what happens to you,
you will always land on your feet.
- What?
What?
Listen to me.
Look at me. Look at me.
Luke.
If you need to hate me, then that's fine, mate.
Fucking fine. Whatever.
But do you really think it's about money.
Do you?
Sure, it helps, of course it fucking does.
But if you think at the end of the day
I would be any less broken
or lost or fucking scared, then you're wrong.
Am I so different from you?
Am I?
Because the way I see it, we're all pretty fucking similar.
Every fucking one of us. Pretty fucking similar.
But we all need fucking therapists
because we don't know how to talk to each other anymore.
We chase things we made up
'cause it all feels so much fucking bigger than us.
I used to go clubbing because I needed
to be part of something,
something real, something fucking tangible.
Because all of it is bullshit.
This, everything, it's fucking bullshit.
But this isn't bullshit.
You and me, right here, right now.
So no, you don't get to walk away from me.
Not until 8:00 AM and not
because you need to fucking hate me, okay?
Fuck.
- I never said I hated you.
- Then you're full of fucking bullshit, aren't you?
You're unbelievable. (sobs)
- What?
- Over there.
It's where I work.
- Oh.
- Do you think maybe we could, you know?
- I don't think it's a good idea.
You're not alone, Lukas.
Sometimes it feels like we are, but we're not.
And if you reach out,
I'm sure someone much less stupid than me
will grab your hand.
Don't shut yourself down.
Okay?
- Okay.
Good luck, Oliver.
- Good luck, Lukas.
Okay.
- You know, I was walking home earlier
and everything started spinning.
You know when, like, you stand up
and the universe feels like
it's fluttering around you.
- Like a hangover?
- Yes, but no.
Suddenly, I have this thought.
The universe is endless.
And I'm there thinking, "Okay, how?"
You know?
Nothing can be endless, right?
It's impossible.
Like, they say the universe is expanding.
Okay?
Fine, I'll buy it.
How?
What?
Where?
You know?
Like, if something is expanding,
then the universe has to have something to expand into.
Do you know what I mean?
- Mm-hm.
Just remind me of this conversation
the next time you want to get wasted.
- And then I had another thought.
It's the same with the birth of the universe.
Well, think about it, right?
Like, what created the universe?
The big bang, right?
Okay?
What created the big bang?
Let's say it's two atoms.
I mean, I don't really know the science behind it.
I'm not sure anyone really does.
Let's say it's two atoms, bang together.
The big bang, right? Fine.
What created the two atoms
and what created what created the two atoms?
Do you see where I'm going with it?
Right? (Lukas laughing)
You can drone on about it for ages.
It's impossible.
You could never know.
It's too big. It's inconceivable.
- And what's your conclusion?
- My conclusion is that we are a fucking miracle.
And it's frightening. You know?
It's terrifying.
We are such a tiny fraction of space
and time in this giant fucking nonsense.
And we wander around trying to give meaning to it all.
When, in fact, maybe it's the other way around.
Maybe it's life that gives meaning to us.
- I have to get back to work.
- Are you joking?
I just gave you a damn good speech.
And what, you want to get back to work?
That's crazy.
That's literally everyone on Earth, isn't it?
Someone talking found a beautiful sentiment,
meaning of life, and all they can say is,
"I have to get back to work."
You have all of your (indistinct).