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© anoXmous
@ https://thepiratebay.se/user/Zen_Bud

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I always knew we
were a fairly odd family.

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First there was me.

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Too tall. Too skinny.
Too orange.

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My mum was lovely,
but not like other mums.

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There was
something solid about her.

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Something rectangular,
busy and unsentimental.

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Her fashion icon was the Queen.

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Dad, well, he was more normal. He always
seemed to have time on his hands.

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After giving up teaching university
students on his 50th birthday,

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he was eternally available
for a leisurely chat or

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to let me win at table tennis.

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Yes.

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And then there was Mum's
brother, Uncle Desmond.

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Always impeccably dressed. He
spent the days just, well,

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being Uncle Desmond.

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He was the most charming and least
clever man you could ever meet.

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His mind was on other things,
though we never found out what.

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And then,
finally there was Catherine.

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Katie. Kit Kat. My sister.

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In a household of sensible jackets
and haircuts there was this,

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well, what can I call her,
nature thing.

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With her elfin eyes, her purple
T-shirts and her eternally bare feet,

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she was then,
and still is to me,

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about the most wonderful
thing in the world.

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All in all, it was a pretty good childhood.
Full of repeated rhythms and patterns.

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By the time I was 21,
we were still

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having tea on the beach
every single day.

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Skimming stones and
eating sandwiches,

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summer and winter,
no matter what the weather.

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And every Friday evening,
a film,

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no matter what the weather.

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And then once a year, the
dreaded New Year's Eve party.

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Yeah, I might just get one.

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You're absolutely gorgeous.

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I'm Katie. What am I drinking?

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This is very expensive stuff.

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Cheers. Cheers.

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Come on, it's nearly midnight.

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We're all going through.
We're going through.

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Look, I've gotta find you a...

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God!

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Everyone makes little mistakes.
It's fine. Come on.

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6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

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Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year.

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Sorry.

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And so I woke up
the next morning,

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hung-over, ashamed of myself,

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and not realising
it was the day

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that would change
my life forever.

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Get up, stupid.

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Dad wants you.

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Hello. Sexy pajamas.

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Tim, come in.

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Do

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sit down.

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That's very formal.

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Well, um, yeah.

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This is an odd moment for me

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because I had
the same moment with my

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father when I'd just
turned 21, and after it,

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my life was never the same, so I
approach it pretty, um, nervously.

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Okay.

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When you're ready.
It's all very mysterious.

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Right.

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Tim, my dear son, the...

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The simple fact is
the men in this family

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have always had
the ability to...

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This is going to sound strange,

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be prepared for strangeness.
Get ready for spooky time,

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but there's this family secret.

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And the secret is that
the men in the family can

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travel in time.

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Well, more accurately,
travel back in time.

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We can't travel
into the future.

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This is such a weird joke.

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It's seriously not a joke.

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So you're saying that you and
granddad, and his brothers

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could all travel back in time?
Absolutely.

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And you still do? Absolutely.

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Although it's not as dramatic as it sounds.
It's only in my own life.

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I can only go to places where I
actually was and can remember.

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I can't kill Hitler or shag
Helen of Troy, unfortunately.

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Okay, stop.

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Um...

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if it's true, which it isn't.
Although it is.

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Although it isn't, obviously. But if
it was, which it's not. Which it is.

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Which it isn't.
But if it was, how would I...

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The?'How?' is
the easy bit, in fact.

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You go into a dark place,
big cupboards are

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very useful generally.
Toilets, at a pinch.

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Then you clench
your fists like this.

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Think of the moment
you're going to

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and you'll find yourself there.

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After a bit of a stumble
and a rumble and a tumble.

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Wow.

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Is as good a reaction as any.

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I think I plumped for?'fuck!'
but it was the '70s.

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No, this is
so obviously a joke.

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It's not a joke.

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Why would I lie to someone I'm

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fairly fond of?

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Okay.

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But, when I come
back downstairs

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after standing in a cupboard
with my fists clenched,

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you're gonna be
in so much trouble.

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Well,
let's see, shall we?

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And, Tim, try and
do something interesting.

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So much trouble.

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I mean it. Really.

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Right.

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Wow!

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You all right, Tim?

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Yes. Yeah. Good, ace. Yeah.

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Good, come on. it's nearly
midnight and we've got to find...

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Whoa, whoa, whoa!

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Whoo! Midnight.

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10, 9, 8, 7,

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6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

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Happy New Year!

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Thank you, Tim.

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You're welcome, Polly.

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Does Mum know?

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Not a whistle.

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Strange. And what about the whole...
Butterfly effect thing. What can I say?

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We don't seem to have
messed up civilisation yet.

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It's gonna be
a complicated year.

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It's gonna be
a complicated life.

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What have you
done with it?

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For me,
it's books, books, books.

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I've read everything
a man could wish to.

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Twice. Dickens three times.
Any first thoughts?

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Well, I suppose apart from getting
a slightly better haircut... Yeah.

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Money would be
the obvious thing.

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Very mixed blessing.

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Utterly screwed up
your grandfather's life.

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Left him without
love or friends.

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I've never bumped into a
genuinely happy rich person.

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It would be nice
not to have to work.

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No, that's a real
recipe for disaster.

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Look what happened to Uncle Fred.
What happened to Uncle Fred?

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Absolutely sod all.

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Wasted his life.

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You have to use it for
things that you really think

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will make your life
the way you want it to be.

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Come on,
really think about this.

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Well,

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to be honest,
I suppose, at the moment,

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it would be just great if it
could help me get a girlfriend.

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Wow.

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Massive. Yeah.

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The mother ship.

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For me, it was always
gonna be about love.

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And that summer I walked
into the eye of the storm.

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Her name was Charlotte.
Cousin of Kit Kat's

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handsome but
nasty boyfriend Jimmy.

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And she was staying
for two whole months.

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Just one. Not both of them.

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Tim,

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will you do my back?

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Absolutely!

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Very keen!

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Whoa! No. No.

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No. No, no. No, no, no.

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Is it in my hair? Yes!

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Tim. Will you do my back?

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Sure. Just give us a sec.

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Okay.

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Thank you.

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Now...

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Ooh. Nice.

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It's my area.

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it was a summer of
suntan and torture.

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I invited my foolish friend
Jay around for tennis

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because I thought
he'd make me look good.

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I was wrong!

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What are you doing? No.

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Charlotte just made both
of us look like idiots.

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Bad luck, Tim.

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How the hell are you meant
to concentrate on your game?

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How are you meant
to live your life

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with this sort of
shit going down?

184
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It never got better
until suddenly

185
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it was almost too late.

186
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Well, Charlotte,
our final lunch.

187
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No!

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And it's been really, really
lovely having you all summer.

189
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it has.

190
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Thank you.
Thank you.

191
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It really has.

192
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Hasn't it, Desmond?

193
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Beg your pardon?

194
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Lovely having
Charlotte here all summer.

195
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Charlotte? Who's Charlotte?

196
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Come on, darling. Charlotte,
sitting next to you.

197
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Yes, of course. Of course.
Charlotte. Hi.

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Lovely to meet you.

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Have you enjoyed having
Charlotte here all summer, Tim?

200
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Yeah.

201
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There goes August.

202
00:13:13,464 --> 00:13:15,428
I've introduced him to
most things, haven't I?

203
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You did. You were
much more sophisticated.

204
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In a quiet way,
I like to think.

205
00:13:34,652 --> 00:13:35,985
Come in.

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00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:39,572
Charlotte. Yeah!

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00:13:43,494 --> 00:13:47,122
As it's your last night,
can I ask you a question?

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00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:49,749
Yeah. Ask away.

209
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,418
No, wait.

210
00:13:52,753 --> 00:13:55,839
It's not going to
be about love, is it?

211
00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:57,507
Love? What?

212
00:13:57,633 --> 00:14:01,177
Well, it's just that Kit Kat warned me that
if you were to ever mention it, I should be

213
00:14:01,303 --> 00:14:03,471
very firm with you and tell you

214
00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:05,765
you must treat me
like your sister

215
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,308
and not be stupid.

216
00:14:08,185 --> 00:14:11,187
Or have I just made
a total fool of myself

217
00:14:11,313 --> 00:14:12,914
and you were actually
going to ask me for

218
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,607
late night last
minute tennis tips?

219
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,277
No, it was the love thing.

220
00:14:17,361 --> 00:14:19,028
Well.

221
00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:22,490
That's very sweet of you.

222
00:14:23,325 --> 00:14:26,619
It's just a shame you
left it till the last night.

223
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:31,541
You should have tried creeping along
the corridor while we still had time.

224
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:34,711
Okay, the?'last night?'
was a bad idea?

225
00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:39,716
Very bad idea. It feels like an ever
so slightly insulting afterthought.

226
00:14:40,176 --> 00:14:42,385
?'Last night?' was
never going to work.

227
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:46,055
All right. Good. I've got it.

228
00:15:06,494 --> 00:15:07,827
Come in.

229
00:15:09,246 --> 00:15:11,164
Tim. Hi. Charlotte.

230
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,250
Hi. Sit down.

231
00:15:16,712 --> 00:15:19,589
I know you've
probably suspected this,

232
00:15:19,757 --> 00:15:23,343
but over the last month I've fallen
completely in love with you.

233
00:15:25,095 --> 00:15:27,764
Now obviously
this was gonna happen

234
00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:32,018
because you're
a goddess with that face

235
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:33,895
and that hair,

236
00:15:34,188 --> 00:15:37,190
but even if you
didn't have a nice face,

237
00:15:38,192 --> 00:15:40,860
and even if you had
absolutely no hair

238
00:15:41,111 --> 00:15:43,696
because of some
bizarre medical reason,

239
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,075
I'd still adore you,

240
00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:48,618
and I...

241
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:53,790
I just wondered whether, by any
chance, you might share my feelings.

242
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,125
Wow.

243
00:15:57,461 --> 00:15:59,337
I tell you what.

244
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,965
Why don't we see
how the summer goes

245
00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:05,885
and then you ask me
again on my last night?

246
00:16:07,763 --> 00:16:09,556
Your last night? Yes.

247
00:16:09,932 --> 00:16:13,935
Try me on the last night. See
what happens then, shall we?

248
00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:16,145
It's exciting.

249
00:16:16,564 --> 00:16:17,564
Right.

250
00:16:18,148 --> 00:16:22,360
No, it's a perfect plan. That's
absolutely perfect. Last night.

251
00:16:22,486 --> 00:16:23,903
Last night.

252
00:16:26,782 --> 00:16:28,366
Thanks very much.

253
00:16:29,535 --> 00:16:31,035
Night-night, Timmy.

254
00:16:38,419 --> 00:16:40,336
Big lesson number one,

255
00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:43,631
all the time travel in the world
can't make someone love you.

256
00:16:43,757 --> 00:16:44,757
Bye!

257
00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:48,177
So the love of my life
just drove away.

258
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,433
And the very next day
it was my turn to leave.

259
00:16:56,186 --> 00:16:59,188
There you go. Don't
spend it all at once.

260
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:01,899
Thanks.

261
00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:07,322
Don't call too often, your mother
doesn't like to be disturbed.

262
00:17:07,448 --> 00:17:09,616
Okay. Thanks.

263
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:32,388
I caught the train to London in
search of a future and a girlfriend.

264
00:17:35,059 --> 00:17:37,310
I was staying in St John's
Wood, near Abbey Road,

265
00:17:37,394 --> 00:17:40,563
with a playwright friend
of my dad's called Harry.

266
00:17:40,856 --> 00:17:44,609
It's always nice to have family connections
when you're a new kid in town.

267
00:17:57,539 --> 00:18:01,292
What the fuck do you want?

268
00:18:03,504 --> 00:18:04,629
I'm James's son.

269
00:18:04,755 --> 00:18:05,922
Who?

270
00:18:07,132 --> 00:18:09,258
James Lake. What about him?

271
00:18:11,929 --> 00:18:13,680
He said you had a room.

272
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:17,517
Go in there and wait.

273
00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:21,854
Quietly. I mean it,
don't make a sound.

274
00:18:22,773 --> 00:18:24,357
Or I'll kill you.

275
00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:37,495
I was actually having the first
good idea I've had for a decade

276
00:18:37,579 --> 00:18:39,122
when you rang on the doorbell.

277
00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:41,541
But now it's gone.

278
00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,293
You little shit.

279
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,003
How's your dad?

280
00:18:46,296 --> 00:18:50,383
Weird cock, I always thought.
Something weird about him.

281
00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:51,300
Really?

282
00:18:51,385 --> 00:18:53,886
Yeah, I never really
liked him, actually.

283
00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:57,432
Your mum still
look like Andy Warhol?

284
00:18:57,558 --> 00:18:58,558
What?

285
00:18:59,935 --> 00:19:02,520
That, by the way, is my wife.

286
00:19:02,688 --> 00:19:04,147
Nice.

287
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,713
Yeah, you wouldn't
like her at first.

288
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:08,901
Sarcastic cow.

289
00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:12,196
But eventually
you'd realise that

290
00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:15,366
she's the best human
being in the world.

291
00:19:16,118 --> 00:19:18,369
Which is why she
left me, of course.

292
00:19:20,914 --> 00:19:22,498
Here you go.

293
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:26,878
Try not to make too much noise,
particularly when having sex.

294
00:19:27,504 --> 00:19:28,546
No chance of that.

295
00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:31,340
Christ,
two losers in one house.

296
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:33,426
That is my daughter.

297
00:19:35,053 --> 00:19:38,723
Have sex with her if you like.
Apparently everyone else has.

298
00:19:41,018 --> 00:19:43,478
It wasn't a hopeful
set-up for romance.

299
00:19:44,229 --> 00:19:46,898
And work didn't help
on that score either.

300
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:50,026
The world of law seems to
be entirely full of men.

301
00:19:52,237 --> 00:19:56,574
Hello. I'm Rory. Very pleased to meet you.
A real thrill.

302
00:19:57,034 --> 00:20:00,661
Well, who knows, we might become,
you know, pals, et cetera.

303
00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:03,748
Who the hell are you? Tim Lake.

304
00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:06,000
Well, I hope you're
better than this clown.

305
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:08,169
Come on, Roger.

306
00:20:08,295 --> 00:20:09,796
It's Rory, actually.

307
00:20:09,922 --> 00:20:11,464
I've been here
a year and a half.

308
00:20:11,548 --> 00:20:14,133
I'm just saying that to be nice.
It's two years actually.

309
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:20,807
So six lonely months went by
and it was still just me and Harry.

310
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:23,434
Me lawyer-ing every hour
of the day and night.

311
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,813
And him putting the finishing
touches to his new play.

312
00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:31,442
No matter how many girls
there were in the world,

313
00:20:31,568 --> 00:20:34,695
I always seemed to
end up with Rory.

314
00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:35,822
Hello.

315
00:20:36,198 --> 00:20:37,990
Until, out of the blue,

316
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:43,371
on a dodgy night out with dodgy
Jay, something miraculous happened.

317
00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:45,873
The waiters are,

318
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,959
wait for this,
right, they're blind.

319
00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:49,168
You're kidding me?

320
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:52,797
I'm kidding you not.
No, as bats. As bats!

321
00:20:53,257 --> 00:20:54,882
Very good to
have you here, gentlemen.

322
00:20:54,967 --> 00:20:56,884
I hope you enjoy
your experience.

323
00:20:56,969 --> 00:20:59,095
Carlo will show
you to your table.

324
00:20:59,221 --> 00:21:01,472
Great. Lead on, maestro.

325
00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:04,183
Can I have your right hand on
my right shoulder, please?

326
00:21:04,268 --> 00:21:06,686
And your friend hold on to your shoulder.
Thank you.

327
00:21:10,315 --> 00:21:13,818
Mind the stairs and
be prepared because

328
00:21:14,069 --> 00:21:16,320
it's completely dark.

329
00:21:18,282 --> 00:21:19,991
Okay, gentlemen,
if you don't mind,

330
00:21:20,075 --> 00:21:22,451
I can sit you here beside
these two young ladies.

331
00:21:22,536 --> 00:21:24,620
No, no.
Sounds absolutely perfect!

332
00:21:24,746 --> 00:21:26,914
God,
you sound very perky.

333
00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:28,374
I am. And very handsome.

334
00:21:29,543 --> 00:21:31,127
Someone's there.

335
00:21:31,253 --> 00:21:33,421
Hi. Hi. I'm Mary.

336
00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:36,215
I'm Tim. Mary's my
mother's name, actually.

337
00:21:36,341 --> 00:21:38,926
Does it suit her? Sort of.

338
00:21:39,052 --> 00:21:42,513
Although she's sturdy, so Bernard
might have been a better fit.

339
00:21:43,932 --> 00:21:44,932
Okay.

340
00:21:45,309 --> 00:21:48,019
Something just
touched my elbow.

341
00:21:48,145 --> 00:21:49,478
Okay, that wasn't me.

342
00:21:49,563 --> 00:21:52,982
No. Well, that just makes it worse.
If it wasn't you, who was it?

343
00:21:53,108 --> 00:21:56,319
it wasn't me because I'm
touching something else.

344
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:59,071
Yes, and you'll stop
that right away, thank you.

345
00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:04,035
So, girls, be honest,
who is more beautiful?

346
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:05,661
- I am.
- Yeah. She is.

347
00:22:05,787 --> 00:22:06,913
Excellent!

348
00:22:07,039 --> 00:22:08,581
Actually,
I look like Kate Moss.

349
00:22:08,707 --> 00:22:10,249
Really?

350
00:22:10,375 --> 00:22:13,210
No. I sort of
look like a squirrel.

351
00:22:14,588 --> 00:22:15,922
Do you like Kate Moss?

352
00:22:16,048 --> 00:22:17,423
I absolutely love her.

353
00:22:17,549 --> 00:22:20,718
In fact, I almost wore one of
her dresses here tonight. You?

354
00:22:20,844 --> 00:22:23,054
No, no, her clothes
look terrible on me.

355
00:22:25,557 --> 00:22:27,934
I cannot believe that it's
your birthday next week as well.

356
00:22:28,018 --> 00:22:32,063
Your friend Jay is
quite enthusiastic.

357
00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:34,482
I actually hate him.

358
00:22:34,608 --> 00:22:35,524
What's Joanna like?

359
00:22:35,651 --> 00:22:38,402
- She's basically a prostitute.
- Yeah.

360
00:22:39,154 --> 00:22:41,072
I think it's strawberry mousse.
Ooh!

361
00:22:41,156 --> 00:22:42,281
Do you want some?

362
00:22:42,366 --> 00:22:43,699
Um... Okay. I'll try it.

363
00:22:43,784 --> 00:22:44,992
Okay, where's your mouth?

364
00:22:45,077 --> 00:22:46,702
It's...

365
00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:48,955
it's here.

366
00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:50,414
Okay. There?

367
00:22:50,582 --> 00:22:52,375
My God, what was that?

368
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,293
That's my eye.

369
00:22:54,419 --> 00:22:57,296
I think there's a lot of...
I've got quite a lot of

370
00:22:57,381 --> 00:22:59,423
strawberry mousse
in my eye now!

371
00:22:59,549 --> 00:23:00,841
I'm so sorry.

372
00:23:00,926 --> 00:23:04,178
No. Thank you. That's
a new sensation for me.

373
00:23:06,723 --> 00:23:10,309
So, maybe I'll see
you outside or...

374
00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:12,311
Yeah. Yeah, great.

375
00:23:12,437 --> 00:23:14,230
Great. Scary.

376
00:23:14,356 --> 00:23:16,607
Yeah, it's a bit scary.

377
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:20,069
My God, I'm so in there.
What about you?

378
00:23:20,195 --> 00:23:22,905
I don't know,
but she sounded wonderful.

379
00:23:22,990 --> 00:23:24,198
Shh!

380
00:23:25,409 --> 00:23:27,118
Joanna? Jay.

381
00:23:27,244 --> 00:23:29,328
Christ, you're a babe.

382
00:23:29,454 --> 00:23:31,080
How do you fancy
stretching the night

383
00:23:31,206 --> 00:23:32,790
out a bit?
I can ditch the loser.

384
00:23:32,916 --> 00:23:35,835
We've got to rush, but help me find a
cab and I might give you my number.

385
00:23:35,919 --> 00:23:36,919
Of course. Yeah.

386
00:23:37,004 --> 00:23:38,717
Or I might not.
Haven't decided yet. So...

387
00:23:38,755 --> 00:23:40,256
I have. It's not gonna happen.

388
00:24:07,784 --> 00:24:09,535
Hi. Hi.

389
00:24:10,829 --> 00:24:13,205
Where's... She
and Jay just...

390
00:24:13,331 --> 00:24:15,958
She took him to...
I don't know.

391
00:24:16,084 --> 00:24:17,084
Right.

392
00:24:17,252 --> 00:24:19,420
Well, I guess I'd better...

393
00:24:19,546 --> 00:24:23,215
Would it be very wrong if I
asked you for your number?

394
00:24:25,218 --> 00:24:26,218
No.

395
00:24:26,553 --> 00:24:29,597
Just in case I ever
had to call you about...

396
00:24:30,223 --> 00:24:31,766
Stuff? -

397
00:24:32,517 --> 00:24:33,517
Okay.

398
00:24:37,731 --> 00:24:39,065
Would you...

399
00:24:39,775 --> 00:24:40,983
it's Mary.

400
00:24:41,151 --> 00:24:42,359
Mary.

401
00:24:44,529 --> 00:24:45,780
Okay.

402
00:24:46,406 --> 00:24:48,574
I thought this phone
was old and shit,

403
00:24:49,284 --> 00:24:51,494
but suddenly it's my most
valuable possession.

404
00:24:52,537 --> 00:24:54,330
You really like me?

405
00:24:55,999 --> 00:24:58,584
Even my frock?

406
00:24:58,710 --> 00:25:00,836
I love your frock.

407
00:25:01,463 --> 00:25:05,049
And my hair?
It's not too brown?

408
00:25:05,383 --> 00:25:06,926
I love brown.

409
00:25:08,637 --> 00:25:09,929
My fringe is new.

410
00:25:10,013 --> 00:25:12,223
The fringe is perfect.
Fringe is the best bit.

411
00:25:12,307 --> 00:25:13,432
Mary!

412
00:25:13,558 --> 00:25:16,894
We have to go! I found a cab and his
dodgy friend is about to assault me.

413
00:25:17,020 --> 00:25:19,355
Okay, I'm coming.

414
00:25:19,481 --> 00:25:21,065
Two seconds.

415
00:25:22,025 --> 00:25:23,859
I hope I see you again.

416
00:25:24,486 --> 00:25:25,611
You will.

417
00:25:26,154 --> 00:25:28,489
Okay. Good.

418
00:25:30,075 --> 00:25:33,452
Goodnight.

419
00:26:10,866 --> 00:26:12,449
What's happened?

420
00:26:12,701 --> 00:26:14,785
What have you done,
you poor thing?

421
00:26:15,078 --> 00:26:17,997
Nothing.
It's just a flesh wound.

422
00:26:18,123 --> 00:26:19,415
Here. Thank you.

423
00:26:23,044 --> 00:26:25,212
You may remember,
my play opened tonight.

424
00:26:25,797 --> 00:26:27,381
My God, yes. How did it go?

425
00:26:27,507 --> 00:26:29,049
Well. It went well.

426
00:26:29,426 --> 00:26:32,970
You could tell in the room a
masterpiece was being unfurled.

427
00:26:33,096 --> 00:26:35,097
Really? Really.

428
00:26:35,223 --> 00:26:38,767
Until, and this is the
crucial plot point, I think,

429
00:26:38,894 --> 00:26:43,647
until the lead actor had the most
massive dry in the history of theatre.

430
00:26:43,773 --> 00:26:45,316
No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes.

431
00:26:46,776 --> 00:26:48,360
He didn't just
forget his lines.

432
00:26:48,486 --> 00:26:50,029
He forgot his lines
to the extent

433
00:26:50,113 --> 00:26:52,531
that no actor has ever
forgotten their lines

434
00:26:52,657 --> 00:26:55,034
before in
the annals of dramatic art.

435
00:26:55,577 --> 00:26:58,954
The reviews won't say,'Major masterpiece
gets unveiled,'

436
00:26:59,039 --> 00:27:02,708
they'll say,'Major
actor gets Alzheimer's.?'

437
00:27:03,376 --> 00:27:04,877
it's a disaster.

438
00:27:05,795 --> 00:27:07,504
Is an understatement.

439
00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:12,968
It's the Titanic of play
openings, but with no survivors.

440
00:27:13,637 --> 00:27:15,971
No women, no children,

441
00:27:16,389 --> 00:27:18,641
not even Kate Winslet.

442
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,768
All dead.

443
00:27:22,437 --> 00:27:24,063
Okay. I'll see what I can do.

444
00:27:24,147 --> 00:27:25,522
What does that mean?

445
00:27:26,316 --> 00:27:28,275
What are you gonna do?
Ring up every critic

446
00:27:28,401 --> 00:27:30,319
in London and
offer them a blow job

447
00:27:30,445 --> 00:27:35,157
if they ignore the fact that we sat
in total silence for half an hour

448
00:27:35,283 --> 00:27:40,371
waiting for a moron to
remember one single line?

449
00:27:40,497 --> 00:27:42,248
Not quite that.

450
00:27:58,890 --> 00:27:59,890
Hello.

451
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:08,691
Hello, Sir Tom. I'm a friend of Harry's.
How's it going with the lines?

452
00:28:10,026 --> 00:28:12,278
I'm sorry,
what do you mean?'the lines?'?

453
00:28:13,029 --> 00:28:14,697
It's just, you know,
in the court scenes,

454
00:28:14,781 --> 00:28:17,491
some of those lines
are pretty complex.

455
00:28:17,617 --> 00:28:19,994
And I just thought maybe it
might be worth, you know,

456
00:28:20,620 --> 00:28:22,079
having one last
look at the lines

457
00:28:22,163 --> 00:28:25,541
before you go on.
A little refresher.

458
00:28:26,793 --> 00:28:29,044
Fuck off out of here.

459
00:28:29,170 --> 00:28:33,924
You arising lunatic. Get out!
You ginger twerp. Go on!

460
00:28:34,050 --> 00:28:35,801
Patronising piece of...

461
00:28:47,897 --> 00:28:50,316
And now the Defense.

462
00:29:00,702 --> 00:29:05,372
I have lived
many weary years...

463
00:29:05,665 --> 00:29:07,708
it's brilliant... but never,

464
00:29:07,834 --> 00:29:11,879
in that long catalogue
of wasted time,

465
00:29:12,547 --> 00:29:17,009
have I ever seen such an atrocious
miscarriage of justice.

466
00:29:22,223 --> 00:29:26,560
Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?

467
00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:13,232
Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.

468
00:30:20,573 --> 00:30:25,160
Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?

469
00:30:32,252 --> 00:30:33,335
Psst!

470
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:41,802
Gentlemen...

471
00:30:44,180 --> 00:30:45,180
Gentlemen,

472
00:30:45,723 --> 00:30:50,227
I regard today's proceedings
with the utmost gravity.

473
00:30:50,353 --> 00:30:52,104
Nevertheless,

474
00:30:52,689 --> 00:30:55,566
let us be clear of one

475
00:30:57,444 --> 00:31:00,279
simple and salient thing.

476
00:31:03,283 --> 00:31:05,033
It is the life

477
00:31:05,618 --> 00:31:07,578
of a guilty man!

478
00:31:18,882 --> 00:31:22,468
One of the actors appeared
to have actually fallen asleep...

479
00:31:22,552 --> 00:31:26,013
Here's the little prick who
walked out halfway through.

480
00:31:26,097 --> 00:31:28,015
You missed the best scene,
you little twerp.

481
00:31:28,141 --> 00:31:29,141
Sorry.

482
00:31:29,559 --> 00:31:31,727
What did you think of the set?

483
00:31:32,061 --> 00:31:33,270
I thought it was incredible.

484
00:31:33,354 --> 00:31:36,482
Did you? I didn't. Too brown.

485
00:31:39,819 --> 00:31:40,986
Mary!

486
00:31:43,031 --> 00:31:44,698
No.

487
00:31:45,533 --> 00:31:47,075
She's gone.

488
00:32:02,258 --> 00:32:06,261
Two girls in earlier tonight. One of
them the prettiest girl in the world.

489
00:32:06,387 --> 00:32:08,288
The other one like a
sort of nice prostitute.

490
00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:10,265
Did you get their names?

491
00:32:10,391 --> 00:32:14,186
Yes. They left
a while ago. Let's see.

492
00:32:15,230 --> 00:32:17,689
No, I'm afraid
they were walk-ins

493
00:32:17,815 --> 00:32:20,275
and it appears
they paid by cash.

494
00:32:20,693 --> 00:32:22,402
Sorry, sir.

495
00:32:22,529 --> 00:32:24,289
That's okay.
That's fine, it's brilliant.

496
00:32:24,614 --> 00:32:27,741
It's just the end of my life.
Thanks so much.

497
00:32:48,972 --> 00:32:50,973
Cheer up, mate.

498
00:32:51,307 --> 00:32:55,143
Apparently, you're living with
Britain's greatest living playwright.

499
00:32:55,478 --> 00:32:56,979
I don't usually
read them, obviously,

500
00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:58,647
but I couldn't resist this one.

501
00:32:58,815 --> 00:33:03,819
?'Harry Chapman
found guilty of genius.?'

502
00:33:10,743 --> 00:33:12,035
I have to go out. Right now.

503
00:33:12,161 --> 00:33:13,495
Why?

504
00:33:13,621 --> 00:33:15,414
She loves Kate Moss.

505
00:33:59,042 --> 00:34:00,876
Thanks for keeping
me company, Kittle.

506
00:34:01,044 --> 00:34:02,669
Nothing better to do.

507
00:34:02,795 --> 00:34:03,879
How's Jimmy?

508
00:34:04,047 --> 00:34:05,047
Dumped me.

509
00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:06,173
Not again.

510
00:34:06,299 --> 00:34:08,008
And work? They've sacked me.

511
00:34:08,134 --> 00:34:09,134
Idiots.

512
00:34:09,677 --> 00:34:11,386
Coffee? Please.

513
00:34:12,055 --> 00:34:15,349
I've only just noticed this cat
in this picture. See that cat?

514
00:34:15,475 --> 00:34:18,352
I do see that cat.
It's very good.

515
00:34:19,395 --> 00:34:20,896
My God.

516
00:34:21,856 --> 00:34:22,981
My God!

517
00:34:23,107 --> 00:34:24,232
What?

518
00:34:24,859 --> 00:34:26,234
it's her.

519
00:34:27,987 --> 00:34:29,571
It's her!

520
00:34:30,657 --> 00:34:32,157
That's her!

521
00:34:33,242 --> 00:34:34,660
Shh!

522
00:34:37,914 --> 00:34:39,498
You go, girl.

523
00:34:51,260 --> 00:34:52,260
Sorry.

524
00:34:53,429 --> 00:34:55,222
Hi. Hi.

525
00:34:57,392 --> 00:34:58,767
How are you?

526
00:34:59,519 --> 00:35:01,603
I'm... I'm fine.

527
00:35:01,938 --> 00:35:04,106
It's so good to see you.

528
00:35:04,273 --> 00:35:06,441
Um... We've never met before.

529
00:35:07,777 --> 00:35:09,736
No, fuck.

530
00:35:10,363 --> 00:35:12,406
No, of course we haven't. No.

531
00:35:12,532 --> 00:35:15,575
Sorry, I think you've
mistaken me for someone else.

532
00:35:15,702 --> 00:35:17,369
No, no, no.

533
00:35:18,037 --> 00:35:19,705
Your name's Mary.

534
00:35:20,957 --> 00:35:23,750
That's distinctly weird.

535
00:35:23,876 --> 00:35:25,752
How do you know that?

536
00:35:26,754 --> 00:35:28,630
Well, you look like a Mary.

537
00:35:29,132 --> 00:35:30,424
In what way?

538
00:35:30,550 --> 00:35:31,800
My mum's called Mary.

539
00:35:31,968 --> 00:35:33,427
I look like your mother?

540
00:35:33,970 --> 00:35:36,096
No. You're much prettier.

541
00:35:39,308 --> 00:35:40,726
It's a nice fringe, by the way.

542
00:35:40,852 --> 00:35:42,269
God, it's new and

543
00:35:42,395 --> 00:35:44,312
probably too short but... No.

544
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,315
Well, gee, thank you and

545
00:35:47,483 --> 00:35:49,818
listen, it was
really nice to meet you.

546
00:35:49,986 --> 00:35:53,572
I should probably go because
my friend's waiting for me

547
00:35:53,656 --> 00:35:56,074
and you're a,
you're a total stranger.

548
00:35:56,325 --> 00:35:57,743
Total stranger.

549
00:35:57,869 --> 00:35:59,244
Yeah, it's crazy stuff.

550
00:35:59,328 --> 00:36:01,163
Yeah, kind of. Okay.

551
00:36:01,289 --> 00:36:02,664
Bye, Mary. Bye.

552
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:06,918
No.

553
00:36:07,003 --> 00:36:08,170
How did it go?

554
00:36:08,296 --> 00:36:09,421
It was very poor.

555
00:36:09,505 --> 00:36:10,839
Very poor indeed, yeah.

556
00:36:11,007 --> 00:36:12,340
You gotta go again.

557
00:36:13,259 --> 00:36:15,177
You can do it. Take two.

558
00:36:18,598 --> 00:36:21,933
She just always... She
always looks different.

559
00:36:23,686 --> 00:36:26,021
Sorry. It's me again.

560
00:36:26,522 --> 00:36:28,148
Hi. Sorry.

561
00:36:28,858 --> 00:36:30,650
Joanna, this is...

562
00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:32,319
Tim.

563
00:36:32,445 --> 00:36:33,612
Hello. Nice to meet you.

564
00:36:36,199 --> 00:36:39,868
Tim is a total stranger whose
mother's name is Mary.

565
00:36:39,994 --> 00:36:42,704
I just had a weird
experience with Mary here

566
00:36:42,789 --> 00:36:45,332
of thinking she was someone else.
But she wasn't.

567
00:36:45,458 --> 00:36:49,669
But I just wondered if I
could walk round with you

568
00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:54,549
for a while because my sister
Kit Kat is about to leave...

569
00:36:54,675 --> 00:36:55,675
Yeah.

570
00:36:58,304 --> 00:36:59,971
Bye... and...

571
00:37:00,306 --> 00:37:01,723
And so,

572
00:37:02,642 --> 00:37:04,893
I'm about to be quite lonely.

573
00:37:05,561 --> 00:37:09,856
Right. Well, I think we
should probably say no.

574
00:37:09,982 --> 00:37:13,068
No, yes. But on the other hand,
he's got a quite nice smile

575
00:37:13,194 --> 00:37:15,237
and sort of,
you know, fun hair.

576
00:37:16,989 --> 00:37:17,989
Yeah.

577
00:37:19,033 --> 00:37:20,408
All right.

578
00:37:20,910 --> 00:37:24,913
But you have to promise that you are
not one of the following things.

579
00:37:25,081 --> 00:37:26,706
One, a lunatic.

580
00:37:26,791 --> 00:37:27,916
Yeah. No.

581
00:37:28,084 --> 00:37:30,877
Two, a fringe fetishist.

582
00:37:31,212 --> 00:37:34,214
I'm just Kate Moss's
number one male fan.

583
00:37:36,008 --> 00:37:37,551
God. Really?

584
00:37:37,677 --> 00:37:39,010
Yeah. God, yeah.

585
00:37:39,095 --> 00:37:42,430
Do you agree that the magic
of her lies in her history?

586
00:37:43,015 --> 00:37:45,225
That the informality
of her early shots

587
00:37:45,309 --> 00:37:48,353
compared to this stuff
so you just always know

588
00:37:48,437 --> 00:37:50,814
that, despite the high
fashion, she's still just

589
00:37:50,898 --> 00:37:54,526
that cheeky normal
naked girl on the beach?

590
00:37:55,611 --> 00:37:57,153
Couldn't have put
it better myself.

591
00:37:57,238 --> 00:38:00,949
That's absolutely it.
I agree with that profoundly.

592
00:38:02,285 --> 00:38:03,326
Milk?

593
00:38:03,452 --> 00:38:04,452
Yes.

594
00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:06,538
Sugar? No.

595
00:38:06,622 --> 00:38:07,664
Boyfriend?

596
00:38:07,790 --> 00:38:08,874
Yes!

597
00:38:09,041 --> 00:38:11,209
No. No, you don't
have a boyfriend.

598
00:38:12,461 --> 00:38:14,796
Do I not look like
I'd have a boyfriend?

599
00:38:14,922 --> 00:38:16,818
Do I look like I'd never
get a boyfriend? No.

600
00:38:16,857 --> 00:38:18,504
That's the rudest thing
I've ever heard.

601
00:38:18,551 --> 00:38:21,386
I didn't mean it like that.
I just didn't expect...

602
00:38:22,555 --> 00:38:24,639
Is it quite a new boyfriend?

603
00:38:24,807 --> 00:38:25,807
Yes.

604
00:38:26,309 --> 00:38:28,310
There he is. Rupert.

605
00:38:29,270 --> 00:38:31,146
Yes. He's so cute. Rupert?

606
00:38:31,272 --> 00:38:32,606
Hi, guys.

607
00:38:32,982 --> 00:38:34,816
Sorry I'm late, with my dad.

608
00:38:36,152 --> 00:38:37,152
Hi, Rupee.

609
00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:39,446
?'Rupee?'?

610
00:38:40,990 --> 00:38:43,158
Well, this is Tim and

611
00:38:43,284 --> 00:38:45,160
we don't know him at all.

612
00:38:45,828 --> 00:38:48,455
Hey, I was thinking we could
take in a film after this.

613
00:38:48,581 --> 00:38:50,206
Get some mixed popcorn,
share a Coke,

614
00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:51,458
snuggle. Okay.

615
00:38:51,834 --> 00:38:52,834
Okay.

616
00:38:54,170 --> 00:38:56,630
When did you two meet? Exactly?

617
00:38:57,173 --> 00:38:59,174
Well, it was only
a week ago, actually.

618
00:38:59,967 --> 00:39:02,802
It's all been a bit of a
whirlwind, hasn't it, poochy face?

619
00:39:03,179 --> 00:39:06,181
I'm gonna have to teach you what you
can and can't say in front of people.

620
00:39:06,349 --> 00:39:07,766
No?'poochy face?'? No.

621
00:39:07,850 --> 00:39:09,851
No. Definitely not.

622
00:39:10,019 --> 00:39:14,022
Come on, then. More details about
this wonderful first meeting?

623
00:39:14,148 --> 00:39:15,190
Okay, okay.

624
00:39:15,358 --> 00:39:17,484
It was, um, what... Joanna?

625
00:39:18,027 --> 00:39:19,527
June 17th.

626
00:39:19,695 --> 00:39:21,196
And Jo was
having a little party.

627
00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:25,200
A living hell from which
Rupert, thank God, rescued me.

628
00:39:25,326 --> 00:39:27,494
And where was
this terrible party?

629
00:39:27,620 --> 00:39:29,704
My brothel of a flat.

630
00:39:29,830 --> 00:39:32,010
Which is where, though? That's
the question, isn't it.

631
00:39:32,049 --> 00:39:33,179
What are you, a detective?

632
00:39:33,659 --> 00:39:35,694
No, sorry, I've just got
a very visual imagination.

633
00:39:35,878 --> 00:39:37,796
I like to imagine
stuff completely.

634
00:39:38,965 --> 00:39:43,134
26 Court field Gardens,
SW5. Around 8:30.

635
00:39:43,803 --> 00:39:45,887
Dress code, slutty.
Will that do?

636
00:39:46,055 --> 00:39:47,806
Absolutely, yes.
Although I am wondering

637
00:39:47,890 --> 00:39:50,976
when you got there, Rupert.
Early, late?

638
00:39:51,394 --> 00:39:54,562
On time, I think.
True love was calling.

639
00:39:54,689 --> 00:39:56,356
God.

640
00:39:56,649 --> 00:39:58,900
I actually feel a bit
sick now. Just these

641
00:39:59,068 --> 00:40:01,319
muffins, I think.
Never trust a blueberry.

642
00:40:02,738 --> 00:40:04,322
Okay, I'll be back in a tick.

643
00:40:05,741 --> 00:40:07,701
You two are such
a lovely couple.

644
00:40:12,081 --> 00:40:13,248
Bit weird.

645
00:40:13,374 --> 00:40:14,541
He's cute.

646
00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:15,667
I like him.

647
00:40:15,793 --> 00:40:16,835
Yeah, me too.

648
00:40:48,075 --> 00:40:50,118
Hello. Do I know you?

649
00:40:50,286 --> 00:40:53,747
No, no, no.
I'm a friend of Mary's.

650
00:40:54,290 --> 00:40:57,876
She has another friend? Gosh,
you amaze me. But hooray.

651
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,711
Ooh. Hotdog?

652
00:41:00,129 --> 00:41:01,504
Took me hours.
Made them myself.

653
00:41:01,630 --> 00:41:02,964
Thanks.

654
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:07,135
Disgusting.
Totally undercooked.

655
00:41:07,261 --> 00:41:08,595
See you later.

656
00:41:15,770 --> 00:41:18,146
Why don't we go upstairs,
it's a bit quieter?

657
00:41:32,953 --> 00:41:34,829
Hi. Hi.

658
00:41:34,997 --> 00:41:35,997
I'm Tim.

659
00:41:36,791 --> 00:41:37,832
Mary.

660
00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:40,585
That's my mother's name.
Let's not get into that.

661
00:41:40,669 --> 00:41:44,172
Um... I know this is forward but

662
00:41:44,298 --> 00:41:48,343
your face tells me that you're finding
this party to be a living hell.

663
00:41:50,429 --> 00:41:51,888
So, I just wondered
if you might come

664
00:41:51,972 --> 00:41:55,308
and have a bite to
eat with me instead?

665
00:41:56,018 --> 00:41:57,268
Right now.

666
00:41:57,603 --> 00:41:58,728
I'm sorry?

667
00:41:58,813 --> 00:42:01,356
Obviously, I should have
thought this through more.

668
00:42:01,690 --> 00:42:03,024
Let's talk about Kate Moss.

669
00:42:05,861 --> 00:42:08,029
I love Kate Moss.

670
00:42:08,197 --> 00:42:10,865
I always think the key thing
with her is the history,

671
00:42:11,283 --> 00:42:15,495
you know, the informality of her early
shots compared to high fashion stuff

672
00:42:15,621 --> 00:42:18,790
so you always know that underneath
she's still just the same

673
00:42:19,208 --> 00:42:22,377
cheeky normal girl
naked on the beach.

674
00:42:22,503 --> 00:42:23,503
The beach.

675
00:42:24,046 --> 00:42:26,714
I agree with you completely.

676
00:42:27,007 --> 00:42:30,051
If we leave now then we can have,
you know, more than one starter.

677
00:42:35,307 --> 00:42:36,975
I love your eyes.

678
00:42:38,853 --> 00:42:41,855
And I love the rest
of your face, too.

679
00:42:52,074 --> 00:42:53,825
More than one starter?

680
00:42:53,951 --> 00:42:55,660
10 amazing starters.

681
00:42:56,745 --> 00:42:58,663
After you. Thanks.

682
00:42:58,831 --> 00:43:00,999
Ten minutes is long enough
for any party, I think.

683
00:43:01,083 --> 00:43:03,001
Yeah.

684
00:43:03,085 --> 00:43:04,419
Especially that one.

685
00:43:04,587 --> 00:43:06,087
Evening, all.

686
00:43:06,255 --> 00:43:08,590
God! What a dickhead.

687
00:43:09,717 --> 00:43:10,675
Yeah.

688
00:43:13,721 --> 00:43:16,222
So, what do you do?

689
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,851
I'm a reader at a publisher.

690
00:43:19,935 --> 00:43:22,604
No! You read for a living?

691
00:43:23,272 --> 00:43:26,065
Yes, that's it. I read.

692
00:43:26,192 --> 00:43:27,734
That's so great.

693
00:43:28,068 --> 00:43:29,944
It's like someone asking,
'What do you do

694
00:43:30,070 --> 00:43:31,905
for a living?'
'Well, I breathe.

695
00:43:32,031 --> 00:43:35,116
'I'm a breather,
I get paid for breathing.?'

696
00:43:35,618 --> 00:43:39,245
How did you get that job? Okay,
smart-ass, what do you do?

697
00:43:40,289 --> 00:43:42,123
I am a lawyer.

698
00:43:42,458 --> 00:43:43,708
Sort of. Sort of.

699
00:43:43,792 --> 00:43:45,460
That's sexy.

700
00:43:45,961 --> 00:43:47,295
Is it?

701
00:43:47,421 --> 00:43:48,796
I mean, I think so.

702
00:43:49,715 --> 00:43:53,968
In a suit, in a court, saving
people's lives. Kind of sexy.

703
00:43:54,303 --> 00:43:56,343
I guess it is. Although it's
not as sexy as reading.

704
00:43:56,430 --> 00:43:59,807
Sitting there in an office,
in a little chair reading.

705
00:43:59,975 --> 00:44:01,392
Okay, stop. Ooh!

706
00:44:01,477 --> 00:44:03,144
Just wait right there,
mister, because

707
00:44:03,229 --> 00:44:05,813
a lot of books get
submitted to my publisher.

708
00:44:05,981 --> 00:44:07,649
So it's an immense
responsibility.

709
00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:09,400
I bet it is.

710
00:44:09,485 --> 00:44:11,486
But when you do normal reading,

711
00:44:12,321 --> 00:44:15,281
is it ruined because it's your job?
You know, like prostitutes?

712
00:44:15,407 --> 00:44:17,533
I always worry that when
they stop being prostitutes

713
00:44:17,618 --> 00:44:18,993
that they can't
enjoy sex any more.

714
00:44:19,119 --> 00:44:20,495
You always worry about that?

715
00:44:20,579 --> 00:44:22,705
No, I sometimes worry about it.
Good. Okay.

716
00:44:22,790 --> 00:44:25,700
Because someone who always worried
about that would be a bit of a worry.

717
00:44:25,784 --> 00:44:28,452
When you read a newspaper,
do you think,'Forget this, it's work?'?

718
00:44:28,636 --> 00:44:30,554
Have you interviewed
a lot of prostitutes?

719
00:44:30,738 --> 00:44:32,656
When you read a menu,
do you think,

720
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,609
?'No, I'm not reading this,
unless you pay me hard cash.?'

721
00:44:35,635 --> 00:44:38,946
How many prostitutes will you need to
talk to before this issue is solved?

722
00:44:39,014 --> 00:44:42,934
Are you planning to head to
Eastern Europe and Thailand?

723
00:44:57,116 --> 00:45:00,868
Um... Would you like
to walk me to my car?

724
00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:03,496
Yes. Why not? Okay.

725
00:45:03,706 --> 00:45:05,665
Sounds like a good idea.

726
00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:07,625
What about you?

727
00:45:07,710 --> 00:45:10,795
Yeah, I have
three older brothers.

728
00:45:11,005 --> 00:45:12,463
God. Yeah.

729
00:45:12,548 --> 00:45:14,132
Where are they?

730
00:45:15,718 --> 00:45:17,302
Behind you.

731
00:45:26,687 --> 00:45:28,730
Did you have trouble parking?

732
00:45:30,649 --> 00:45:32,233
Pardon?

733
00:45:32,359 --> 00:45:33,901
It's just such
a long way to your car.

734
00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:36,487
Well, my car's
actually parked outside

735
00:45:36,613 --> 00:45:39,073
my house.
I got a lift to the party.

736
00:45:41,410 --> 00:45:42,410
Okay.

737
00:45:44,330 --> 00:45:46,331
That's good. That's perfect.

738
00:45:46,749 --> 00:45:47,749
Okay.

739
00:45:52,504 --> 00:45:54,547
And here we are.

740
00:45:54,673 --> 00:45:56,591
My God. Yeah.

741
00:45:56,717 --> 00:46:00,053
Car, house. House, car.

742
00:46:02,389 --> 00:46:04,557
It makes perfect sense.

743
00:46:04,850 --> 00:46:06,517
It's very logical.

744
00:46:27,873 --> 00:46:28,873
Christ.

745
00:46:31,293 --> 00:46:32,502
Um...

746
00:46:35,297 --> 00:46:36,464
Keys!

747
00:46:50,896 --> 00:46:54,899
I'm gonna go into the bedroom
and put on my new pajamas.

748
00:46:55,275 --> 00:46:56,275
Right.

749
00:46:57,319 --> 00:47:00,613
And then in a minute you can
come in and take them off.

750
00:47:01,573 --> 00:47:03,324
If you want to.

751
00:47:13,502 --> 00:47:15,002
One minute.

752
00:47:19,925 --> 00:47:20,925
Hi.

753
00:47:24,513 --> 00:47:28,349
God. Are you... Are you okay?
Yeah.

754
00:47:30,686 --> 00:47:31,769
Sorry.

755
00:47:31,895 --> 00:47:32,979
That's okay.

756
00:47:56,879 --> 00:47:59,547
It's a front opener.

757
00:47:59,673 --> 00:48:01,257
It's a what?

758
00:48:01,383 --> 00:48:03,050
It opens from the front.

759
00:48:04,219 --> 00:48:06,345
Yeah, no, yeah, of course.

760
00:48:06,513 --> 00:48:08,055
Thanks. Sure.

761
00:48:10,642 --> 00:48:12,226
Ooh! Well done.

762
00:48:20,569 --> 00:48:22,904
I'm sure it'll be
better next time.

763
00:48:24,406 --> 00:48:26,908
I thought it was pretty lovely.

764
00:48:27,659 --> 00:48:30,077
Right, no,
it was really lovely.

765
00:48:32,414 --> 00:48:35,082
In fact, can you
just give me one minute?

766
00:48:36,543 --> 00:48:37,543
Okay.

767
00:48:43,675 --> 00:48:44,675
Hi.

768
00:48:47,346 --> 00:48:48,596
Dangerous.

769
00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:55,019
You really know your bras.

770
00:48:55,938 --> 00:48:56,979
I like to think so.

771
00:49:02,444 --> 00:49:06,614
Well done. Some people make a
real mess of it the first time.

772
00:49:06,740 --> 00:49:08,199
Amateurs.

773
00:49:10,452 --> 00:49:12,620
Could you give me one second?

774
00:49:13,705 --> 00:49:14,705
Sure.

775
00:49:15,874 --> 00:49:17,124
I couldn't wait.

776
00:49:19,211 --> 00:49:21,379
My goodness.

777
00:49:26,301 --> 00:49:31,639
Best night of my entire life. And now
I've got a suspicion I'm gonna have

778
00:49:31,723 --> 00:49:34,559
the best sleep
of my entire life.

779
00:49:36,228 --> 00:49:39,397
So once is enough
for my perfect guy?

780
00:49:40,232 --> 00:49:42,900
I'm not sure
that's entirely fair.

781
00:49:49,324 --> 00:49:50,908
We're late. No, we're not.

782
00:49:52,411 --> 00:49:54,954
It'll be fine. It's only...
My God.

783
00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:07,550
Bye.

784
00:50:15,767 --> 00:50:17,007
Don't worry,
you're coming with.

785
00:50:23,692 --> 00:50:25,026
I'm taking you home!

786
00:50:30,866 --> 00:50:32,617
Bye. Bye. Bye.

787
00:50:34,453 --> 00:50:35,453
No!

788
00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,751
Okay. I have some bad news.

789
00:51:24,461 --> 00:51:26,545
You're dying? No, not that bad.

790
00:51:26,630 --> 00:51:28,422
I'm dying? No.

791
00:51:28,590 --> 00:51:32,093
My parents are in town. They're
visiting and they're coming around.

792
00:51:32,260 --> 00:51:34,220
God. Parents?
American parents?

793
00:51:35,472 --> 00:51:36,931
When? Now.

794
00:51:37,265 --> 00:51:39,058
They told me and
I didn't tell you

795
00:51:39,393 --> 00:51:42,194
and I thought they'd cancel because
they normally do and they didn't.

796
00:51:42,278 --> 00:51:43,829
Now now? Now now.

797
00:51:43,914 --> 00:51:45,515
So you should probably
put on some pants.

798
00:51:46,441 --> 00:51:48,818
God. Okay, okay.

799
00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:51,570
I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

800
00:51:51,697 --> 00:51:53,114
Do
they know I exist?

801
00:51:53,281 --> 00:51:57,410
Yeah. I've mentioned something
like you, but nothing very specific.

802
00:51:57,494 --> 00:52:01,288
Yeah, they're quite conservative,
so maybe not those pants.

803
00:52:03,792 --> 00:52:05,459
Okay. Yeah.

804
00:52:05,669 --> 00:52:08,629
God. Okay.

805
00:52:10,799 --> 00:52:13,509
Could you just stall them.
Stall them.

806
00:52:16,596 --> 00:52:17,596
Come on up.

807
00:52:18,098 --> 00:52:20,641
What? I'm sorry, they
don't like waiting.

808
00:52:20,767 --> 00:52:22,476
Okay. Do I live here?

809
00:52:22,602 --> 00:52:24,270
Definitely not.

810
00:52:24,813 --> 00:52:26,397
Are we having sex?

811
00:52:26,523 --> 00:52:28,149
Yeah. But not oral.

812
00:52:28,316 --> 00:52:29,650
I wasn't gonna mention oral.

813
00:52:29,776 --> 00:52:32,528
Okay, good, don't. How did you
think that was gonna come up?

814
00:52:32,654 --> 00:52:34,054
Could you help me
with this, please?

815
00:52:34,156 --> 00:52:37,324
I don't know. If it does,
just deny it completely.

816
00:52:37,492 --> 00:52:39,493
Who's gonna bring it up?
Your dad?

817
00:52:39,619 --> 00:52:42,329
?'Tim, had any cunnilingus
with my daughter recently?'

818
00:52:42,456 --> 00:52:43,706
Well, you never know.

819
00:52:43,832 --> 00:52:45,124
Okay.

820
00:52:45,667 --> 00:52:47,752
Okay. Ready? Yeah.

821
00:52:49,004 --> 00:52:51,005
They're there.
They are, yeah.

822
00:52:51,173 --> 00:52:52,840
Yeah, right behind you.
Okay. Right, okay.

823
00:52:56,178 --> 00:52:58,012
Dad! Hello, sweet.

824
00:52:58,221 --> 00:53:00,306
Mom. Hi. Hi, honey.

825
00:53:00,390 --> 00:53:02,850
This is Tim.

826
00:53:03,018 --> 00:53:05,060
Hello, sir. Ma'am.

827
00:53:05,645 --> 00:53:08,522
Should we come back when you
haven't got any company, or...

828
00:53:09,691 --> 00:53:11,942
Well, that would be
quite difficult

829
00:53:12,068 --> 00:53:14,361
because Tim
actually lives here.

830
00:53:15,864 --> 00:53:18,199
Really? With you?

831
00:53:18,533 --> 00:53:22,203
Yes. Yeah, but no
oral sex, I promise you.

832
00:53:24,039 --> 00:53:25,539
I beg your pardon?

833
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:28,000
Excuse me.

834
00:53:29,377 --> 00:53:33,047
So, Tim, tell us where are you
from, which part of the country?

835
00:53:33,673 --> 00:53:36,258
He's from Cornwall.
Yeah, it's really pretty.

836
00:53:36,384 --> 00:53:40,054
It's that little bit right at the
end, sort of looks like a shoe.

837
00:53:40,722 --> 00:53:42,181
And you're a lawyer,
is that right?

838
00:53:43,058 --> 00:53:45,184
Yep, that's right.
And he never loses.

839
00:53:45,268 --> 00:53:48,567
You don't think he's gonna win, then he
just pulls something out of the bag and,

840
00:53:48,605 --> 00:53:49,855
what do you know,
he wins again.

841
00:53:49,940 --> 00:53:53,234
Do you ever answer
any of your own questions?

842
00:53:53,401 --> 00:53:55,027
I...

843
00:53:55,111 --> 00:53:57,780
Yes, he does. Usually he does,

844
00:53:57,906 --> 00:53:59,146
but not today because I'm doing

845
00:53:59,241 --> 00:54:00,881
all the talking
because I'm really nervous

846
00:54:01,201 --> 00:54:05,913
and I kind of love him and I just...
I want you to, too.

847
00:54:06,039 --> 00:54:07,581
Honey.

848
00:54:07,874 --> 00:54:10,376
Sorry. Tim. Over to you.

849
00:54:10,877 --> 00:54:11,877
Shoot.

850
00:54:13,588 --> 00:54:14,713
Yeah, I think my dad...

851
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,091
Can I just say one more thing?
Um...

852
00:54:17,634 --> 00:54:19,468
Thank God that's over.

853
00:54:19,594 --> 00:54:20,845
I got given two tickets

854
00:54:20,929 --> 00:54:23,180
for the National Theatre
tomorrow. Do you wanna come?

855
00:54:23,265 --> 00:54:27,268
No, so not. I'm just
gonna sleep all day.

856
00:54:27,727 --> 00:54:31,272
I don't see why going to the theatre
should get in the way of that.

857
00:54:31,398 --> 00:54:34,775
Many of the best sleeps of my life have
happened in the Royal Shakespeare Company.

858
00:54:35,235 --> 00:54:37,444
No, you take someone else.

859
00:54:37,612 --> 00:54:41,448
I really like bed and
I really hate theatre.

860
00:54:41,908 --> 00:54:43,284
Quite right.

861
00:54:44,411 --> 00:54:48,080
But what kind of sad act is gonna
be free on a Saturday night

862
00:54:48,665 --> 00:54:50,708
with no day's notice?

863
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:52,960
Bravo.

864
00:54:55,672 --> 00:54:58,132
My God. it's Charlotte. Who?

865
00:54:58,633 --> 00:55:00,467
It was my first love. Where?

866
00:55:00,635 --> 00:55:02,595
There. Under the?'exit?' sign.

867
00:55:02,679 --> 00:55:04,346
- The old woman?
- No, not the old woman.

868
00:55:04,431 --> 00:55:05,681
The astonishing blonde.

869
00:55:05,765 --> 00:55:07,433
The one with the dark hair?
No, blonde.

870
00:55:07,517 --> 00:55:09,143
Blonde means
blonde hair, doesn't it?

871
00:55:10,312 --> 00:55:11,854
Off the stage.

872
00:55:12,272 --> 00:55:14,523
Okay, you stay there.
I mean it, stay!

873
00:55:26,953 --> 00:55:27,953
Charlotte.

874
00:55:28,997 --> 00:55:30,998
My God. Tim.

875
00:55:31,541 --> 00:55:34,043
How fabulous to see you.

876
00:55:35,045 --> 00:55:38,297
Wow. I... This is
my girlfriend Tina.

877
00:55:38,381 --> 00:55:39,673
No.

878
00:55:41,384 --> 00:55:43,969
That is so brilliant.
Well, hello, Tina.

879
00:55:44,054 --> 00:55:45,679
Why is it brilliant?

880
00:55:45,805 --> 00:55:48,957
Well, you know. There are certain moments
in your life that scar you for life.

881
00:55:48,983 --> 00:55:51,985
Charlotte's rejection of me
was one of those moments,

882
00:55:52,053 --> 00:55:54,680
but now I know she's
got a?'girlfriend,' well,

883
00:55:54,764 --> 00:55:57,249
that's just a huge burden
suddenly lifted off my mind.

884
00:55:57,333 --> 00:56:00,035
I can be a confident
heterosexual all over again.

885
00:56:01,863 --> 00:56:04,490
Not that kind of girlfriend.

886
00:56:06,159 --> 00:56:07,159
What?

887
00:56:07,911 --> 00:56:09,536
You think I'm gay?

888
00:56:10,664 --> 00:56:11,664
No.

889
00:56:12,165 --> 00:56:15,834
No, of course not.
No. it's girl friend.

890
00:56:15,919 --> 00:56:17,836
Yes. No. Wow.

891
00:56:17,921 --> 00:56:21,382
Yeah, friend who is a girl,
which you so clearly are.

892
00:56:21,549 --> 00:56:25,344
I'm just gonna go and get my
boyfriend, who is a boy...

893
00:56:31,518 --> 00:56:33,686
My God. Tim.

894
00:56:34,229 --> 00:56:37,022
How lovely to see you.
Look at you. Wow.

895
00:56:37,107 --> 00:56:38,816
This is my girlfriend Tina.

896
00:56:40,527 --> 00:56:42,236
Hello, Tina.
Although you should be

897
00:56:42,362 --> 00:56:44,071
a little careful
with that, by the way.

898
00:56:44,197 --> 00:56:47,241
There are still quite a lot of
us old fashioned types about

899
00:56:47,367 --> 00:56:49,576
who interpret girlfriend
as meaning gay.

900
00:56:49,703 --> 00:56:52,966
So if you say that Tina's your girlfriend,
people will assume that you're?'gay.?'

901
00:56:53,915 --> 00:56:55,374
I am 'gay.'

902
00:56:56,376 --> 00:56:57,584
Are you?

903
00:56:57,752 --> 00:56:58,992
Do you have
a problem with that?

904
00:56:59,754 --> 00:57:02,631
No, I don't. I love that stuff.

905
00:57:03,425 --> 00:57:04,591
I'm just gonna...

906
00:57:07,095 --> 00:57:08,095
Wow.

907
00:57:08,596 --> 00:57:11,432
I've just seen the girl who broke
my heart three summers ago.

908
00:57:11,558 --> 00:57:13,434
Let's go say hello.

909
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,436
No. Best let sleeping dogs lie.
Come on.

910
00:57:15,603 --> 00:57:17,980
Best night of my life.
I always love this area.

911
00:57:18,064 --> 00:57:20,441
It's so bustling and I mean
those pictures, full of colour.

912
00:57:20,608 --> 00:57:23,694
Just makes me so happy when I'm
round here, all the colour... Tim.

913
00:57:23,778 --> 00:57:25,112
Charlotte!

914
00:57:25,238 --> 00:57:26,613
Tim, how lovely to see you.

915
00:57:26,740 --> 00:57:28,240
What a surprise.

916
00:57:28,324 --> 00:57:31,285
Wow. Sorry. This is
my girlfriend, Tina.

917
00:57:31,453 --> 00:57:33,287
She's gay. Shut up.

918
00:57:33,413 --> 00:57:34,621
Hello, Tina.

919
00:57:34,748 --> 00:57:35,956
Look at you!

920
00:57:36,082 --> 00:57:37,916
It just never
even occurred to me

921
00:57:38,043 --> 00:57:39,835
you existed
outside of Cornwall.

922
00:57:40,628 --> 00:57:42,796
We're about to
go and get dinner,

923
00:57:42,922 --> 00:57:45,007
but it would be great
to hang out sometime.

924
00:57:45,133 --> 00:57:46,967
Yeah, sure. I'd love that.

925
00:57:47,135 --> 00:57:48,927
Send my love to little Kit Kat.
How is she?

926
00:57:49,471 --> 00:57:52,973
She's okay. She's not finding
London totally easy actually.

927
00:57:53,141 --> 00:57:55,309
Right. Well, Jimmy says
he sees her sometimes.

928
00:57:55,602 --> 00:57:57,019
Really? Since when?

929
00:57:57,145 --> 00:57:59,188
You knew there was
always something there.

930
00:57:59,314 --> 00:58:00,981
Sorry, you are?

931
00:58:01,149 --> 00:58:02,149
Very well, thank you.

932
00:58:02,317 --> 00:58:03,357
Well, she means your name.

933
00:58:03,485 --> 00:58:04,818
Roger. No, it's not.

934
00:58:04,944 --> 00:58:07,279
No, it's not. It's Rory.

935
00:58:07,363 --> 00:58:09,281
Nice to meet you, Rory. Yeah.

936
00:58:09,991 --> 00:58:11,700
Right. Sorry,
we should get going.

937
00:58:11,826 --> 00:58:13,160
It was really great to see you.

938
00:58:13,244 --> 00:58:14,661
I'll see you soon.
You, too. Yeah.

939
00:58:15,163 --> 00:58:16,163
Bye.

940
00:58:16,539 --> 00:58:18,373
God, she is beautiful.

941
00:58:19,834 --> 00:58:23,504
She's so beautiful, if you had sex
with her, you'd die. You'd just die.

942
00:58:23,630 --> 00:58:27,007
You'd open her shirt, see her breasts
and your eyes would explode.

943
00:58:27,133 --> 00:58:29,414
You'd have to have sex with her blind.
And then you'd die.

944
00:58:29,511 --> 00:58:32,054
You notice she didn't
give me her number...

945
00:58:32,180 --> 00:58:36,058
I told Tina to go have dinner on her own.
Are you hungry?

946
00:58:36,184 --> 00:58:38,685
Yeah. Of course. Great.

947
00:58:39,145 --> 00:58:40,687
Bye, Roger.

948
00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:42,648
Yeah, excellent.

949
00:58:43,024 --> 00:58:45,514
Thanks again for the play. Triumph.
Where do you wanna go?

950
00:58:45,735 --> 00:58:48,153
Well, wherever you like really.

951
00:58:48,238 --> 00:58:50,697
I can't compete.

952
00:59:02,168 --> 00:59:03,252
You know,

953
00:59:03,586 --> 00:59:07,548
I'm starting to think we slightly
wasted that summer holiday.

954
00:59:08,383 --> 00:59:11,093
If we could
travel back in time,

955
00:59:11,219 --> 00:59:13,762
maybe I wouldn't have said no.

956
00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:16,682
I'm...

957
00:59:17,559 --> 00:59:19,560
I'm just staying
round the corner.

958
00:59:19,686 --> 00:59:21,228
Can you walk me home?

959
00:59:22,856 --> 00:59:23,856
Yeah.

960
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:26,275
Yeah? Yeah, of course, yeah.

961
00:59:36,244 --> 00:59:38,704
Well, here we are.

962
00:59:44,085 --> 00:59:45,919
it's a lot nicer

963
00:59:46,337 --> 00:59:47,504
inside.

964
00:59:48,214 --> 00:59:49,756
I'm sure it is.

965
00:59:56,931 --> 00:59:58,932
So... So...

966
01:00:00,101 --> 01:00:01,101
So...

967
01:00:03,271 --> 01:00:04,271
So,

968
01:00:04,689 --> 01:00:06,023
lovely

969
01:00:07,358 --> 01:00:09,276
to see you, Charlotte.

970
01:00:09,402 --> 01:00:13,113
What a night.
Total joy, but I've gotta

971
01:00:14,115 --> 01:00:15,616
get back

972
01:00:16,451 --> 01:00:19,786
because there's something very important
that I have to do. Right now.

973
01:00:52,987 --> 01:00:56,281
Wake up. Wake up. What?

974
01:00:56,449 --> 01:00:57,449
Mary.

975
01:00:58,826 --> 01:01:00,577
Would you like to marry me?

976
01:01:00,662 --> 01:01:01,870
Shh.

977
01:01:02,163 --> 01:01:06,166
Don't be so selfish,
I'm sleeping. It's bad.

978
01:01:08,294 --> 01:01:09,294
Right.

979
01:01:10,255 --> 01:01:12,089
That went very well.

980
01:01:19,597 --> 01:01:20,847
Wake up.

981
01:01:21,015 --> 01:01:22,015
What?

982
01:01:23,601 --> 01:01:25,602
Wake up. Come and have a chat.

983
01:01:25,687 --> 01:01:26,687
Why?

984
01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:30,274
I've got something
important to ask you.

985
01:01:33,111 --> 01:01:35,195
Can't it wait till morning?

986
01:01:35,530 --> 01:01:37,155
Not really.

987
01:01:38,116 --> 01:01:41,118
But I'm so comfy.

988
01:01:41,619 --> 01:01:44,288
I was having
the loveliest dream.

989
01:01:45,039 --> 01:01:46,665
What is it?

990
01:01:47,375 --> 01:01:49,876
Why is there music on?

991
01:01:50,336 --> 01:01:53,046
It's got something to do
with what I want to ask you.

992
01:01:54,716 --> 01:01:56,550
Wait a minute.

993
01:01:57,385 --> 01:01:59,344
Romantic music.

994
01:02:00,722 --> 01:02:03,223
Guy with important question.

995
01:02:03,391 --> 01:02:05,017
Are you on your knees?

996
01:02:05,518 --> 01:02:07,519
On his knees.

997
01:02:09,397 --> 01:02:12,190
Were you so bored in
the play you decided

998
01:02:12,317 --> 01:02:15,068
to ask me to
marry you afterwards?

999
01:02:17,363 --> 01:02:19,031
Something like that.

1000
01:02:22,327 --> 01:02:24,328
Yeah. Exactly that.

1001
01:02:25,705 --> 01:02:27,039
In fact,

1002
01:02:30,084 --> 01:02:31,918
will you marry me?

1003
01:02:38,426 --> 01:02:40,427
Any thoughts on the answer?

1004
01:02:41,054 --> 01:02:45,057
'Yes' 'No' Get out of my life,
loser.' They're all possible.

1005
01:02:48,603 --> 01:02:51,271
I think I'll go for

1006
01:02:52,940 --> 01:02:53,940
'yes.'

1007
01:02:59,739 --> 01:03:01,907
Thank you for asking me.

1008
01:03:02,450 --> 01:03:07,079
And thank you for not going for one
of those melodramatic proposals

1009
01:03:07,205 --> 01:03:09,581
with lots of people around.

1010
01:03:10,124 --> 01:03:12,042
I hate other people.

1011
01:03:12,460 --> 01:03:13,752
Me, too.

1012
01:03:14,462 --> 01:03:15,462
Yeah.

1013
01:03:17,090 --> 01:03:19,299
I'm just gonna
turn off the radio.

1014
01:03:19,759 --> 01:03:21,968
Okay. Good idea.

1015
01:03:29,644 --> 01:03:32,813
Thanks, guys.
Sorry, she's a bit tired.

1016
01:03:33,648 --> 01:03:37,734
But we really appreciate it.
Can you go?

1017
01:03:46,828 --> 01:03:48,161
Wow!

1018
01:03:48,496 --> 01:03:50,497
That's so beautiful.

1019
01:03:50,623 --> 01:03:53,250
I don't think we'll be staying
in the same room, somehow.

1020
01:03:53,334 --> 01:03:54,584
Really?

1021
01:03:54,669 --> 01:03:57,671
If they offer you tea,
just say no.

1022
01:03:58,464 --> 01:03:59,840
Hello.

1023
01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:01,341
Mum, this is Mary.

1024
01:04:01,467 --> 01:04:02,801
Mary! Hi.

1025
01:04:02,927 --> 01:04:04,511
Good Lord, you're pretty.

1026
01:04:04,679 --> 01:04:06,263
No, it's just

1027
01:04:06,681 --> 01:04:09,182
I've got a lot of
mascara and lipstick on.

1028
01:04:09,308 --> 01:04:10,684
Let's have a look.

1029
01:04:10,810 --> 01:04:13,353
Yes. Good.

1030
01:04:13,813 --> 01:04:17,274
It's very bad for
a girl to be too pretty.

1031
01:04:17,358 --> 01:04:21,528
It stops her developing a sense of humor.
Or a personality.

1032
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:23,280
Tea?

1033
01:04:23,698 --> 01:04:25,240
I'd love a cup of tea.

1034
01:04:25,366 --> 01:04:26,950
Christ,
that's the whole day gone.

1035
01:04:27,660 --> 01:04:30,704
She's a very special guest.
Cup without the crack.

1036
01:04:30,830 --> 01:04:32,080
Skipping stones.

1037
01:04:32,165 --> 01:04:34,875
They've been doing this
since he was about this high.

1038
01:04:35,209 --> 01:04:38,670
And what are your faults?
I mean, little weaknesses.

1039
01:04:41,549 --> 01:04:43,633
I...

1040
01:04:45,470 --> 01:04:47,471
Well, I'm very insecure.

1041
01:04:47,722 --> 01:04:49,014
Sweet.

1042
01:04:49,974 --> 01:04:54,019
Okay. I've a very
bad temper sometimes.

1043
01:04:54,145 --> 01:04:55,812
Crucial. How else are you gonna

1044
01:04:55,938 --> 01:04:57,647
get a fella to
do what you want?

1045
01:05:00,067 --> 01:05:02,235
And, of course, I have...

1046
01:05:02,653 --> 01:05:04,029
I have a weakness for your son.

1047
01:05:04,155 --> 01:05:05,530
So do I.

1048
01:05:05,907 --> 01:05:09,576
But best not to tell him.
Don't want him getting cocky.

1049
01:05:13,581 --> 01:05:14,664
Pow!

1050
01:05:14,749 --> 01:05:17,083
I'm so good
without the ball. Pow!

1051
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,337
What do you think of her?

1052
01:05:20,421 --> 01:05:22,047
I like her more
than you already.

1053
01:05:24,383 --> 01:05:28,428
Look, I'd forgotten this.
Jimmy Fontana Il Mondo.

1054
01:05:28,554 --> 01:05:30,514
Greatest record ever
recorded by an ltalian

1055
01:05:30,598 --> 01:05:32,696
who looks like he's got a
dead badger on his head.

1056
01:05:32,735 --> 01:05:33,763
And you've got the album.

1057
01:05:33,851 --> 01:05:35,060
Yes!

1058
01:05:35,186 --> 01:05:36,770
Check out those specs!

1059
01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:42,442
Come on, on with the game!
Right.

1060
01:05:42,777 --> 01:05:44,694
And what an extraordinary
game this is.

1061
01:05:44,820 --> 01:05:46,738
For the first time
a father and son

1062
01:05:46,864 --> 01:05:48,615
are playing each other
in the World Table

1063
01:05:48,783 --> 01:05:50,543
Tennis Final and
neither of them are Chinese.

1064
01:05:50,618 --> 01:05:53,203
Tremendous play from the old
World Champion and his son,

1065
01:05:53,287 --> 01:05:55,956
the first openly ginger
British table tennis player

1066
01:05:56,123 --> 01:05:58,211
but there are signs the
youngster's beginning to crack.

1067
01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,669
There are tears in his eyes.
There are not!

1068
01:06:00,795 --> 01:06:02,254
There soon will be!

1069
01:06:06,801 --> 01:06:07,801
Hey.

1070
01:06:09,220 --> 01:06:11,096
Hey!
I didn't know you were here.

1071
01:06:11,764 --> 01:06:14,224
Yeah. I just
popped down for a while.

1072
01:06:14,308 --> 01:06:15,475
Okay.

1073
01:06:15,810 --> 01:06:17,060
What about the job?

1074
01:06:19,063 --> 01:06:20,397
So how long have you been here?

1075
01:06:20,481 --> 01:06:22,274
Couple of weeks.

1076
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,651
Gosh! So, life in London...

1077
01:06:25,486 --> 01:06:26,653
Horrid.

1078
01:06:26,821 --> 01:06:27,821
Okay.

1079
01:06:29,574 --> 01:06:31,074
Is Mary here?

1080
01:06:31,158 --> 01:06:32,325
Yes.

1081
01:06:32,493 --> 01:06:33,994
Where? Downstairs.

1082
01:06:35,162 --> 01:06:37,163
You be gentle.

1083
01:06:38,165 --> 01:06:39,666
Be gentle!

1084
01:06:43,963 --> 01:06:45,297
Careful!

1085
01:06:46,173 --> 01:06:50,468
Yeah, nice to see you, too. I'm
trying to make a good impression...

1086
01:06:50,595 --> 01:06:52,555
Yeah, you make a good impression.

1087
01:06:53,431 --> 01:06:55,181
Right, sorry. Sorry.

1088
01:06:55,308 --> 01:06:57,851
I've got an important
announcement to make.

1089
01:06:57,977 --> 01:06:59,686
Exciting.

1090
01:07:00,855 --> 01:07:03,398
We've decided, after a little
bit of thought, to get married.

1091
01:07:06,652 --> 01:07:09,029
That's wonderful news.

1092
01:07:09,196 --> 01:07:10,822
Who are you getting married to?

1093
01:07:11,866 --> 01:07:13,825
To Mary. Over there.

1094
01:07:13,951 --> 01:07:15,952
Thank God for that.

1095
01:07:16,162 --> 01:07:19,164
Jolly embarrassing if it had
been another girl. Imagine that.

1096
01:07:19,665 --> 01:07:21,374
We're so pleased.

1097
01:07:21,876 --> 01:07:23,501
No, sorry. Yeah.

1098
01:07:23,628 --> 01:07:26,713
By the way, the wedding
will be quite soon

1099
01:07:27,715 --> 01:07:29,633
because we're
having a baby, too.

1100
01:07:37,224 --> 01:07:38,391
You're pregnant?

1101
01:07:38,517 --> 01:07:39,684
Yes.

1102
01:07:39,977 --> 01:07:41,394
Who's the father?

1103
01:07:42,021 --> 01:07:43,730
Well, Tim, I hope.

1104
01:07:44,148 --> 01:07:48,151
Thank God for that. Jolly awkward
if it had been another fellow.

1105
01:07:51,906 --> 01:07:53,406
We have to decide tonight.

1106
01:07:53,532 --> 01:07:55,241
What? Everything.

1107
01:07:55,493 --> 01:07:58,078
The only thing
you've decided about our

1108
01:07:58,162 --> 01:08:00,080
wedding is that I'm
coming down the aisle

1109
01:08:00,164 --> 01:08:02,374
to the sound of
some ltalian weirdo

1110
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,668
singing a song called Il Mondo.

1111
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:05,669
Excellent song.

1112
01:08:05,753 --> 01:08:08,004
To which I've said
a definitive 'no.'

1113
01:08:08,089 --> 01:08:09,756
So here's the deal.

1114
01:08:09,924 --> 01:08:13,426
I will take off one item of clothing
for every decision you make.

1115
01:08:14,595 --> 01:08:17,597
Okay. You have my attention,
young lady.

1116
01:08:17,890 --> 01:08:19,224
Right, um,

1117
01:08:20,351 --> 01:08:21,976
where would you
like to get married?

1118
01:08:23,437 --> 01:08:25,897
Home. I'd hate anywhere else.

1119
01:08:26,023 --> 01:08:27,023
Okay.

1120
01:08:27,733 --> 01:08:29,567
My God. Good.

1121
01:08:29,694 --> 01:08:31,027
Who should the priest be?

1122
01:08:31,112 --> 01:08:32,612
It'll have to be
the local bloke

1123
01:08:32,738 --> 01:08:34,378
with yellow teeth and
the massive unibrow.

1124
01:08:34,615 --> 01:08:35,615
Okay.

1125
01:08:36,117 --> 01:08:38,743
That's a lock for Hagrid.

1126
01:08:39,995 --> 01:08:41,246
Um...

1127
01:08:41,622 --> 01:08:42,706
Best Man?

1128
01:08:42,832 --> 01:08:43,915
Damn.

1129
01:08:44,041 --> 01:08:45,709
Best Man. Now.

1130
01:08:45,835 --> 01:08:48,482
No, this is so hard. It's lose-lose you know
You piss off all the

1131
01:08:48,521 --> 01:08:50,988
ones you don't pick, and you end
up hating the one you do pick

1132
01:08:51,156 --> 01:08:53,199
because he makes a bad
speech and ruins the day.

1133
01:08:53,283 --> 01:08:54,826
Do you wanna see
these puppies or not?

1134
01:08:54,852 --> 01:08:56,394
Yes, I do.

1135
01:08:56,887 --> 01:08:58,605
Jay. it's your choice.

1136
01:08:58,931 --> 01:09:00,411
He's my best friend,
but he's a moron.

1137
01:09:00,474 --> 01:09:01,891
Yeah, he will
mess up everything.

1138
01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:03,309
Rory. Sure?

1139
01:09:03,436 --> 01:09:04,769
No, Harry.

1140
01:09:04,895 --> 01:09:06,229
Harry it is. Let's do this.

1141
01:09:08,315 --> 01:09:09,774
Rory. Sorry.

1142
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:11,317
What? That's such a cheat.

1143
01:09:12,820 --> 01:09:13,945
Okay, fine.

1144
01:09:14,071 --> 01:09:15,447
Honeymoon?

1145
01:09:15,906 --> 01:09:17,574
Bed and breakfast in Scotland.

1146
01:09:17,658 --> 01:09:20,118
I am not taking
my pants off for Scotland.

1147
01:09:20,244 --> 01:09:22,746
But it's all we can afford.
Take off your pants.

1148
01:09:22,830 --> 01:09:23,955
I will not.

1149
01:09:24,081 --> 01:09:25,165
Take off your pants!

1150
01:09:25,332 --> 01:09:27,625
I want
two weeks in Bali!

1151
01:09:27,752 --> 01:09:29,085
Take off those pants!

1152
01:09:36,135 --> 01:09:37,969
Have you planned a break? No.

1153
01:09:47,855 --> 01:09:51,605
No! Is that you? It wasn't me.

1154
01:10:11,670 --> 01:10:13,213
It's for you.

1155
01:10:47,122 --> 01:10:49,040
No, I'm caught!
I've got it. I've got it!

1156
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:50,583
Help me!

1157
01:10:55,422 --> 01:10:56,714
Yes!

1158
01:11:00,302 --> 01:11:01,845
Right, follow me!

1159
01:11:04,265 --> 01:11:05,765
My gosh!

1160
01:11:07,726 --> 01:11:09,102
My God!

1161
01:11:11,897 --> 01:11:12,897
God!

1162
01:11:19,947 --> 01:11:21,155
it's a joke!

1163
01:11:24,785 --> 01:11:25,785
Here.

1164
01:11:30,791 --> 01:11:32,417
Yes, come on.

1165
01:11:32,751 --> 01:11:33,960
This way.

1166
01:11:49,101 --> 01:11:50,810
My God!

1167
01:12:17,171 --> 01:12:18,254
Hello,

1168
01:12:18,589 --> 01:12:20,089
I'm Rory.

1169
01:12:21,133 --> 01:12:25,637
When Tim asked me to
be his Best Man, I was terrified.

1170
01:12:25,763 --> 01:12:28,473
So I thought best
thing is to find

1171
01:12:28,599 --> 01:12:31,309
a book about speeches.
And here it is.

1172
01:12:32,102 --> 01:12:35,855
And it says think of
really funny anecdotes.

1173
01:12:36,774 --> 01:12:41,736
And there is a very hilarious
story, actually from work.

1174
01:12:42,446 --> 01:12:45,406
It was quite a complicated
case based on an issue of

1175
01:12:45,532 --> 01:12:47,367
cross-amortisation
of ownership of

1176
01:12:47,451 --> 01:12:49,035
post-divorce
properties and, um...

1177
01:12:51,163 --> 01:12:53,998
Let me just explain the context.
The Defendant...

1178
01:12:57,795 --> 01:13:00,046
When Tim asked me
to do his Best Man speech,

1179
01:13:00,172 --> 01:13:02,423
my immediate reaction was,

1180
01:13:02,549 --> 01:13:04,469
?'How much are you gonna
pay me, you little shit?

1181
01:13:04,551 --> 01:13:06,844
?'l don't write
for free, you know.?'

1182
01:13:06,929 --> 01:13:10,056
These were the girls available
to him at that time.

1183
01:13:10,182 --> 01:13:13,434
?'Hello, girls.?' And this is how
far he got with each of them.

1184
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:16,646
Let me explain the code.
5, blow job.

1185
01:13:19,358 --> 01:13:23,569
8, full penetrative...
and so a toast

1186
01:13:23,696 --> 01:13:25,655
to the man with
the worst haircut

1187
01:13:25,781 --> 01:13:27,740
but the best bride in the room.

1188
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:29,951
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tim and Mary.

1189
01:13:30,077 --> 01:13:32,078
Tim and Mary.

1190
01:13:32,871 --> 01:13:33,955
That's us.

1191
01:13:34,915 --> 01:13:36,874
I wish I'd said 'l love you.'

1192
01:13:37,001 --> 01:13:38,668
You did, Dad.

1193
01:13:39,086 --> 01:13:40,336
It was implied.

1194
01:13:40,462 --> 01:13:44,549
I'm not sure 'implied' is good
enough for a wedding day, are you?

1195
01:13:44,675 --> 01:13:46,843
No, don't do it, it's fine.

1196
01:13:46,969 --> 01:13:50,805
I'm so happy with it as it was.
You really don't have to.

1197
01:13:50,931 --> 01:13:53,224
I'll do what
I wanna do, young man.

1198
01:13:53,350 --> 01:13:55,601
Will you excuse me
for just one moment?

1199
01:13:57,521 --> 01:14:00,440
later on I may tell you about

1200
01:14:00,566 --> 01:14:04,944
Tim's many failings as a man
and as a table tennis player.

1201
01:14:05,070 --> 01:14:06,070
But,

1202
01:14:06,363 --> 01:14:08,698
important first to say the one

1203
01:14:10,492 --> 01:14:13,202
big thing, I've only loved

1204
01:14:13,328 --> 01:14:16,664
three men in my life.

1205
01:14:17,124 --> 01:14:19,167
My dad was
a frosty bugger so that

1206
01:14:19,293 --> 01:14:21,335
only leaves dear Uncle Desmond,

1207
01:14:23,881 --> 01:14:27,633
B. B. King, obviously,
and this young man here.

1208
01:14:28,343 --> 01:14:32,680
I'd only give one piece of
advice to anyone marrying.

1209
01:14:33,390 --> 01:14:36,225
We're all quite
similar in the end.

1210
01:14:36,351 --> 01:14:39,979
We all get old and tell the
same tales too many times.

1211
01:14:40,064 --> 01:14:43,399
But try and marry someone

1212
01:14:44,818 --> 01:14:45,818
kind.

1213
01:14:46,570 --> 01:14:48,905
And this is a kind man

1214
01:14:49,573 --> 01:14:51,324
with a good heart.

1215
01:14:51,700 --> 01:14:54,577
I'm not particularly proud

1216
01:14:54,703 --> 01:14:58,331
of many things in my life,
but I am very proud

1217
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,001
to be the father of my son.

1218
01:15:05,506 --> 01:15:09,842
I'm so sorry to disturb you, but I
wonder if I could have your autograph.

1219
01:15:09,927 --> 01:15:11,969
No. No.

1220
01:15:12,554 --> 01:15:13,834
I'm at a wedding,
for God's sake.

1221
01:15:13,889 --> 01:15:16,224
I'm here to
celebrate true love not

1222
01:15:16,350 --> 01:15:18,726
scribble my illegible
signature on stupid

1223
01:15:18,852 --> 01:15:21,229
bits of paper that
you can flog on eBay

1224
01:15:21,355 --> 01:15:24,524
so that at the next wedding you
can wear a less hideous hat.

1225
01:15:24,691 --> 01:15:27,026
I see you've met my Aunt May.

1226
01:15:27,111 --> 01:15:30,905
God. People should
wear name tags.

1227
01:15:32,032 --> 01:15:34,117
You next, Kittle Kattle.

1228
01:15:35,369 --> 01:15:37,370
I don't know, Uncle D.

1229
01:15:39,206 --> 01:15:41,082
Boys aren't very nice.

1230
01:15:41,625 --> 01:15:43,209
Aren't they, darling?

1231
01:15:43,710 --> 01:15:45,586
Not in my experience.

1232
01:15:46,713 --> 01:15:48,714
They're always
taking liberties,

1233
01:15:48,882 --> 01:15:50,925
not giving much back in return.

1234
01:15:54,763 --> 01:15:56,305
It's yummy. Yeah?

1235
01:15:56,431 --> 01:15:58,558
I like the way you say 'yummy.'

1236
01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:09,569
Do you wish we'd picked
another less wet day?

1237
01:16:09,653 --> 01:16:10,653
No.

1238
01:16:11,738 --> 01:16:13,614
Not for the world.

1239
01:16:18,787 --> 01:16:21,122
And so it begins.

1240
01:16:21,582 --> 01:16:24,500
Lots and lots of types of days.

1241
01:16:25,419 --> 01:16:26,419
Fun!

1242
01:16:32,926 --> 01:16:33,926
Posy.

1243
01:16:35,554 --> 01:16:37,263
Posy she is.

1244
01:16:37,890 --> 01:16:40,099
The most beautiful
girl in the world.

1245
01:16:43,478 --> 01:16:47,481
You want your daddy.
Yes, I know.

1246
01:16:50,777 --> 01:16:51,777
Yeah.

1247
01:16:54,823 --> 01:16:56,203
No one can ever
prepare you for

1248
01:16:56,241 --> 01:16:58,451
what happens when
you have a child.

1249
01:16:58,619 --> 01:17:00,203
When you see
the baby in your arms

1250
01:17:00,287 --> 01:17:02,914
and you know that
it's your job now.

1251
01:17:03,832 --> 01:17:07,668
No one can prepare you for
the love and the fear.

1252
01:17:09,296 --> 01:17:11,255
She's lovely.

1253
01:17:12,299 --> 01:17:14,300
You were such an ugly baby.

1254
01:17:14,635 --> 01:17:16,302
More chimpanzee than child.

1255
01:17:16,970 --> 01:17:18,471
I remember
the first time I saw you,

1256
01:17:18,555 --> 01:17:21,474
I thanked God we were in driving
distance of London Zoo.

1257
01:17:22,684 --> 01:17:24,185
Come on, hand over
the little bugger,

1258
01:17:24,269 --> 01:17:25,770
let's see if she bounces.

1259
01:17:25,854 --> 01:17:27,647
Yeah,
she definitely will bounce.

1260
01:17:27,814 --> 01:17:28,940
Look.

1261
01:17:29,066 --> 01:17:30,191
She can do anything.

1262
01:17:30,317 --> 01:17:32,276
Look. Hello.

1263
01:17:34,488 --> 01:17:35,947
Sweetheart.

1264
01:17:36,990 --> 01:17:38,699
No one can prepare you
for the love

1265
01:17:38,825 --> 01:17:40,618
people you love
can feel for them.

1266
01:17:42,829 --> 01:17:44,247
And nothing can prepare you for

1267
01:17:44,331 --> 01:17:46,291
the indifference of friends
who don't have babies.

1268
01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,167
Do you wanna
go to Uncle Jay?

1269
01:17:48,335 --> 01:17:50,169
No, thanks, it's fine.
It's great.

1270
01:17:50,504 --> 01:17:52,713
And it's a shock how
quickly you have to move

1271
01:17:52,798 --> 01:17:55,633
to a new place you
completely can't afford.

1272
01:17:56,218 --> 01:17:57,677
Look what we found.

1273
01:17:57,803 --> 01:17:59,220
Look who it is!

1274
01:17:59,805 --> 01:18:00,888
Honey!

1275
01:18:01,014 --> 01:18:02,139
Sorry.

1276
01:18:04,851 --> 01:18:08,521
Suddenly, time travel seems
almost unnecessary,

1277
01:18:08,647 --> 01:18:10,690
because every detail of
life is so delightful.

1278
01:18:18,198 --> 01:18:19,657
What's his name?

1279
01:18:19,741 --> 01:18:20,866
Horace, I think.

1280
01:18:21,034 --> 01:18:22,159
Of course it is.

1281
01:18:22,244 --> 01:18:24,453
Only one important thing
for a godfather, I'm told,

1282
01:18:24,538 --> 01:18:26,872
never bring a present
smaller than the child.

1283
01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:29,375
Shut up, you smug bastard.

1284
01:18:29,501 --> 01:18:31,377
Don't worry, I didn't
bring anything at all.

1285
01:18:31,545 --> 01:18:33,421
She'll never know.
Hasn't got a brain yet.

1286
01:18:33,547 --> 01:18:35,548
I didn't expect to
see you here, Harry.

1287
01:18:35,716 --> 01:18:37,717
Children's party's
not exactly your style.

1288
01:18:37,884 --> 01:18:41,053
No, Mary, I was tricked. I was
told there would be free booze.

1289
01:18:42,931 --> 01:18:45,057
I hate kids, as you know.

1290
01:18:45,225 --> 01:18:46,851
Where's Kit Kat, by the way?

1291
01:18:47,185 --> 01:18:50,187
I don't know, she said
she'd be here around 3:00.

1292
01:18:50,272 --> 01:18:53,607
And you know we got purple
cupcakes for her especially.

1293
01:18:53,692 --> 01:18:55,401
Here she is!

1294
01:18:55,569 --> 01:18:57,009
Speak of the devil,
that will be her.

1295
01:18:58,739 --> 01:19:01,240
We'll wait till
Aunty Kit Kat gets here.

1296
01:19:02,242 --> 01:19:03,743
Hey. Jimmy.

1297
01:19:03,910 --> 01:19:05,411
Where's my sister?

1298
01:19:06,747 --> 01:19:07,747
Thought she was here.

1299
01:19:07,873 --> 01:19:08,914
No, she hasn't arrived.

1300
01:19:10,792 --> 01:19:12,335
That's not good.

1301
01:19:12,836 --> 01:19:14,503
What does that mean?

1302
01:19:14,629 --> 01:19:18,132
Um... We had an
argument this morning.

1303
01:19:18,258 --> 01:19:20,509
Over nothing, but
she'd been drinking, so...

1304
01:19:21,428 --> 01:19:24,972
And then she ran out to get
the car to come here and

1305
01:19:25,098 --> 01:19:27,475
I told her to
meet me here so...

1306
01:19:27,851 --> 01:19:31,270
There's a song by Baz
Luhrmann called Sunscreen.

1307
01:19:31,438 --> 01:19:33,606
He says worrying
about the future

1308
01:19:33,690 --> 01:19:35,024
is as effective
as trying to solve

1309
01:19:35,108 --> 01:19:37,943
an algebra equation
by chewing bubble gum.

1310
01:19:38,612 --> 01:19:40,696
The real troubles in your life

1311
01:19:40,822 --> 01:19:44,617
will always be things that never
crossed your worried mind.

1312
01:19:58,173 --> 01:19:59,340
What happened?

1313
01:20:01,134 --> 01:20:02,802
We had a fight.

1314
01:20:03,303 --> 01:20:04,303
And,

1315
01:20:05,639 --> 01:20:08,140
maybe I wasn't
completely sober.

1316
01:20:09,976 --> 01:20:11,852
How is she? Not good.

1317
01:20:12,145 --> 01:20:14,313
When did she leave you?
From where?

1318
01:20:14,481 --> 01:20:16,690
I want it exact.
Exact time. Exact address.

1319
01:20:26,493 --> 01:20:29,036
Here we are. Sorry, sorry.

1320
01:20:29,329 --> 01:20:30,579
Come on.

1321
01:20:31,581 --> 01:20:33,165
God.

1322
01:20:33,500 --> 01:20:35,501
Hi. There she is.

1323
01:20:35,836 --> 01:20:37,837
Does a small baby live here?

1324
01:20:38,004 --> 01:20:42,174
Yes, and she's so excited.
She's downstairs.

1325
01:20:42,759 --> 01:20:44,844
Happy birthday, Posy.

1326
01:20:47,055 --> 01:20:49,598
I'm sorry.
I had to pick up Kit Kat.

1327
01:20:49,724 --> 01:20:51,517
I thought she was
gonna drive herself.

1328
01:20:51,643 --> 01:20:53,436
Turns out she couldn't.

1329
01:20:54,688 --> 01:20:56,814
She okay? Later.

1330
01:20:59,151 --> 01:21:01,110
I'm worried about Kit Kat.

1331
01:21:03,113 --> 01:21:05,114
Yeah. I know.

1332
01:21:05,782 --> 01:21:08,784
She was drinking wine
while we were drinking tea.

1333
01:21:09,411 --> 01:21:11,829
And Jimmy wasn't nice to her.

1334
01:21:11,955 --> 01:21:15,040
And she spurned
the purple cupcakes.

1335
01:21:15,834 --> 01:21:18,169
We have to do
something to fix it.

1336
01:21:20,338 --> 01:21:21,338
Yeah.

1337
01:21:22,340 --> 01:21:24,008
But, you know,

1338
01:21:24,718 --> 01:21:28,971
if it's gonna be fixed, I think she
probably has to do it herself.

1339
01:21:30,390 --> 01:21:31,390
Maybe.

1340
01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:33,934
Maybe not.

1341
01:21:37,898 --> 01:21:40,149
My darling. What's happened?

1342
01:21:40,484 --> 01:21:42,818
You're the best
person in the world.

1343
01:21:42,944 --> 01:21:45,237
You're top equal with
my wife. I don't get it.

1344
01:21:46,948 --> 01:21:48,908
Maybe, just maybe,

1345
01:21:50,035 --> 01:21:51,785
I'm the faller.

1346
01:21:52,662 --> 01:21:56,415
Every family has,
like, someone who falls,

1347
01:21:56,750 --> 01:21:59,710
who doesn't make the grade,
who stumbles,

1348
01:21:59,836 --> 01:22:01,837
who life trips up.

1349
01:22:02,380 --> 01:22:04,465
Maybe I'm our faller.

1350
01:22:05,592 --> 01:22:08,802
No.

1351
01:22:15,894 --> 01:22:18,896
Okay. I'm gonna
tell you a secret.

1352
01:22:19,022 --> 01:22:21,273
And you have to
promise to keep it.

1353
01:22:21,566 --> 01:22:22,942
We've always kept secrets.

1354
01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:24,443
We have?

1355
01:22:24,861 --> 01:22:27,530
You promise you
won't ever, ever, ever,

1356
01:22:27,697 --> 01:22:29,949
ever, ever, ever, ever,

1357
01:22:30,575 --> 01:22:33,244
ever, ever, ever, ever tell?

1358
01:22:33,537 --> 01:22:34,537
Yes.

1359
01:22:40,252 --> 01:22:42,670
I can travel in time.

1360
01:22:45,757 --> 01:22:48,050
Why are we standing in the
cupboard under the stairs?

1361
01:22:48,176 --> 01:22:51,683
Because we're gonna go back in time and
you're gonna do some things differently.

1362
01:22:51,721 --> 01:22:53,597
I love it when you're funny.

1363
01:22:53,723 --> 01:22:55,975
Grab my hand. Close your eyes.

1364
01:23:12,993 --> 01:23:16,412
My God! My God!

1365
01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:20,958
My arsing God in a box.

1366
01:23:25,880 --> 01:23:26,922
You're kidding?

1367
01:23:27,007 --> 01:23:30,718
I can go anywhere in time and you bring
me back to the worst party of all time.

1368
01:23:30,844 --> 01:23:32,928
'Fraid so. Let's go.

1369
01:23:35,849 --> 01:23:36,890
We've got work to do.

1370
01:23:37,017 --> 01:23:38,100
What work?

1371
01:23:38,226 --> 01:23:41,228
Making sure you do
not meet Jimmy Kincade.

1372
01:23:41,354 --> 01:23:42,771
Quick, in here.

1373
01:23:44,691 --> 01:23:46,275
But he's about to
fall in love with me!

1374
01:23:46,401 --> 01:23:48,027
Not this time he isn't.

1375
01:23:57,787 --> 01:24:01,123
Who's the pretty looking girl?
It's Jennifer, isn't it?

1376
01:24:01,249 --> 01:24:02,416
Yeah.

1377
01:24:02,542 --> 01:24:03,751
Wild!

1378
01:24:03,877 --> 01:24:05,210
I like your skirt, Jennifer.

1379
01:24:05,337 --> 01:24:06,670
Thank you.

1380
01:24:06,796 --> 01:24:09,256
Right, I get it.

1381
01:24:09,382 --> 01:24:13,469
If he hadn't met me, he would have
just had sex with someone else.

1382
01:24:13,887 --> 01:24:15,804
Nip it in the bud?

1383
01:24:18,808 --> 01:24:20,476
Excuse me, Jimmy.

1384
01:24:21,561 --> 01:24:23,479
Sorry. Do I know you?

1385
01:24:23,605 --> 01:24:25,439
Yeah, you do.

1386
01:24:26,024 --> 01:24:28,692
Very well. Sorry.

1387
01:24:28,818 --> 01:24:31,153
And this is what I should
have done right at the start.

1388
01:24:37,243 --> 01:24:40,412
Happy New Year, everybody.
Happy New Year.

1389
01:24:40,538 --> 01:24:42,456
And back to the cupboard.

1390
01:24:44,959 --> 01:24:46,126
Amazing!

1391
01:24:46,419 --> 01:24:47,711
What happens now?

1392
01:24:47,837 --> 01:24:49,129
God knows.

1393
01:24:49,255 --> 01:24:51,635
What I'm hoping is that from
this moment on you avoid

1394
01:24:51,674 --> 01:24:53,964
the sleazy bad guys because
they're sleazy and bad.

1395
01:24:54,302 --> 01:24:56,679
When did you get so serious?

1396
01:24:56,805 --> 01:24:59,139
Since it occurred to me
that I might lose you.

1397
01:25:01,893 --> 01:25:04,603
Brace yourself,
this could be weird.

1398
01:25:05,146 --> 01:25:07,106
Things will have changed.

1399
01:25:13,488 --> 01:25:14,822
My God.

1400
01:25:14,948 --> 01:25:15,948
What?

1401
01:25:16,116 --> 01:25:17,157
Jay.

1402
01:25:17,283 --> 01:25:19,076
Jay Jay? Yes.

1403
01:25:19,744 --> 01:25:23,122
And he's adorable. My God.

1404
01:25:24,708 --> 01:25:25,708
Right,

1405
01:25:26,334 --> 01:25:27,835
let's do this.

1406
01:25:33,800 --> 01:25:35,300
Come on, you two.

1407
01:25:35,969 --> 01:25:39,012
Mum's just cracked open
a packet of biscuits.

1408
01:25:44,310 --> 01:25:46,937
I've got
something in mind for you.

1409
01:25:47,021 --> 01:25:48,342
I know
what you're gonna say.

1410
01:25:48,481 --> 01:25:49,881
Have a biscuit and
come and help me.

1411
01:25:51,359 --> 01:25:53,694
But leave the rest for Uncle D.

1412
01:25:56,156 --> 01:25:58,449
It's just tidying really.

1413
01:25:58,825 --> 01:26:00,826
You all right? I missed you.
Yeah.

1414
01:26:01,369 --> 01:26:03,996
Your mum wants me to do
some gardening. Okay.

1415
01:26:06,207 --> 01:26:09,084
it's tidying up, it's
all a bit out of control.

1416
01:26:09,169 --> 01:26:11,003
Anything that looks dead, out.

1417
01:26:11,171 --> 01:26:14,006
This is what we're looking for.
Okay? All this.

1418
01:26:14,174 --> 01:26:15,507
Dead stuff. See this.

1419
01:26:18,219 --> 01:26:20,637
They've torn them
to shreds, haven't they?

1420
01:26:33,568 --> 01:26:35,360
How did everything go?

1421
01:26:35,487 --> 01:26:37,237
Immensely satisfactory.

1422
01:26:37,655 --> 01:26:41,158
I'm so happy. I wanna
hear all about it.

1423
01:26:41,242 --> 01:26:43,458
Will you do dinner for us
because there's something

1424
01:26:43,497 --> 01:26:45,333
I have to do before
6:00 or I'll get fired?

1425
01:26:45,371 --> 01:26:48,665
Yeah. I can't think of
anything I'd love to do more.

1426
01:26:48,792 --> 01:26:51,877
Okay, where is the most
fabulous person in the world?

1427
01:26:52,045 --> 01:26:56,882
Come to your dad and get mashed
up food shoved into your mouth!

1428
01:27:04,015 --> 01:27:05,474
Hello there, little boy.

1429
01:27:09,395 --> 01:27:10,854
You just

1430
01:27:10,980 --> 01:27:13,398
wait there and I'll
be back in a minute.

1431
01:27:25,745 --> 01:27:27,663
Dad, can I have a quick word?

1432
01:27:27,747 --> 01:27:29,581
Yeah. Sure.

1433
01:27:31,584 --> 01:27:33,418
I can't go back past
the birth again, can I?

1434
01:27:33,545 --> 01:27:35,337
No. I should have
mentioned that.

1435
01:27:35,421 --> 01:27:37,965
You're okay till it
comes out but the exact

1436
01:27:38,091 --> 01:27:40,592
sperm at the exact
moment got you this

1437
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:42,010
particular baby,

1438
01:27:42,095 --> 01:27:43,846
so if you do anything
the tiniest bit

1439
01:27:43,972 --> 01:27:45,722
different, you'll
have a different child.

1440
01:27:47,851 --> 01:27:52,521
So, every day until yesterday
is as it will always be? Lost?

1441
01:27:53,439 --> 01:27:55,732
Just like for everyone else.

1442
01:27:55,900 --> 01:27:57,776
Okay. Interesting.

1443
01:27:58,570 --> 01:28:01,238
Tough. I love you, Dad.
I've gotta go.

1444
01:28:25,638 --> 01:28:27,556
No.

1445
01:28:27,640 --> 01:28:29,241
We're not leaving
this room until we find

1446
01:28:29,309 --> 01:28:33,103
a way of making sure
this never happens again.

1447
01:28:45,950 --> 01:28:47,659
Will you go now?

1448
01:29:00,965 --> 01:29:03,342
I have to leave Jimmy, don't I?

1449
01:29:04,344 --> 01:29:05,844
For good.

1450
01:29:06,804 --> 01:29:10,182
And I have to stop drinking.

1451
01:29:13,102 --> 01:29:15,020
And stop leaving jobs.

1452
01:29:17,023 --> 01:29:21,109
And I have to
go out with someone

1453
01:29:21,861 --> 01:29:24,529
nice and boring.

1454
01:29:27,533 --> 01:29:28,700
Yap.

1455
01:29:32,038 --> 01:29:35,165
And, you know, nice
isn't necessarily boring.

1456
01:29:35,291 --> 01:29:36,541
Like who?

1457
01:29:37,669 --> 01:29:39,169
Matt Damon?

1458
01:29:39,545 --> 01:29:40,879
Okay.

1459
01:29:41,881 --> 01:29:43,465
I'll go out with Matt Damon.

1460
01:29:43,549 --> 01:29:46,802
Tell me,
have you seen Jay recently?

1461
01:29:46,886 --> 01:29:51,390
Your Jay? What, sticky-up hair Jay?
Looks a bit like a Muppet Jay?

1462
01:29:51,516 --> 01:29:52,516
Yes.

1463
01:29:53,351 --> 01:29:56,311
He just popped into my head.
He's always had a crush on you.

1464
01:29:56,688 --> 01:29:58,689
Really? Yeah.

1465
01:30:00,358 --> 01:30:01,525
Weird!

1466
01:30:01,651 --> 01:30:04,027
Thinking of asking him to dinner.
Are you free?

1467
01:30:04,153 --> 01:30:07,906
Might be. Might have to
freshen up a bit first.

1468
01:30:08,032 --> 01:30:10,283
Yeah. You look shit.

1469
01:30:16,958 --> 01:30:18,333
Joanna.

1470
01:30:18,459 --> 01:30:19,876
Thank Christ you're back.

1471
01:30:20,003 --> 01:30:21,586
It's been a total nightmare.

1472
01:30:21,754 --> 01:30:23,380
I know. It's all fine anyway.

1473
01:30:23,506 --> 01:30:25,007
Where is she?

1474
01:30:25,133 --> 01:30:28,427
it was the single worst night of my life.
Where's Posy?

1475
01:30:29,137 --> 01:30:31,596
There she is! Hello!

1476
01:30:31,723 --> 01:30:34,433
Hello! Hello.

1477
01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:36,768
Darling, how are you doing?

1478
01:30:40,356 --> 01:30:42,274
Let's have another one.

1479
01:30:44,068 --> 01:30:47,112
Screw that. No.

1480
01:30:48,990 --> 01:30:51,992
That hurt and I got fat.
Like fat-fat.

1481
01:30:52,118 --> 01:30:54,411
Got a little
bit fat, didn't she.

1482
01:30:54,746 --> 01:30:56,705
Tell Mummy you want a sister.

1483
01:30:56,831 --> 01:31:00,917
No. Tell Daddy you're happy
being an only child.

1484
01:31:02,670 --> 01:31:05,047
Fortunately we are
young and careless and

1485
01:31:05,173 --> 01:31:07,591
it wasn't long before
there were four of us.

1486
01:31:07,717 --> 01:31:11,094
And this is incredible. Posy
Lake, only 3 years old,

1487
01:31:11,220 --> 01:31:14,181
is about to break the women's
10 meter Olympic record.

1488
01:31:14,307 --> 01:31:18,435
They're gonna do it. And here they
are, they've done it! Fantastic.

1489
01:31:18,561 --> 01:31:21,271
That was brilliant.
You're so good.

1490
01:31:21,397 --> 01:31:22,814
Sleeping right
through all that.

1491
01:31:22,940 --> 01:31:25,192
Can you help me?
I'm so nervous.

1492
01:31:25,276 --> 01:31:27,611
What do I wear for dinner
with our bestselling author?

1493
01:31:27,737 --> 01:31:30,280
Let me finish up with the
monsters and I'll come right up.

1494
01:31:30,406 --> 01:31:31,615
Great. Thank you.

1495
01:31:31,949 --> 01:31:33,366
Go again.

1496
01:31:33,785 --> 01:31:36,411
Okay. How about this?

1497
01:31:36,537 --> 01:31:39,039
That's gorgeous.
Job done. Yeah.

1498
01:31:39,165 --> 01:31:42,334
No. Take it seriously. It's...

1499
01:31:42,960 --> 01:31:45,962
I don't know. No, I hate it.

1500
01:31:46,297 --> 01:31:48,006
Yeah. It's boring and

1501
01:31:48,508 --> 01:31:51,384
makes me look kind of lumpy.

1502
01:31:51,511 --> 01:31:54,304
No, you're right. It is boring and lumpy.
I hate it.

1503
01:31:56,182 --> 01:31:58,058
Okay. What about this?

1504
01:31:58,434 --> 01:32:00,393
Gorgeous. We did it.

1505
01:32:00,520 --> 01:32:03,105
No, it's too breasty.

1506
01:32:03,272 --> 01:32:05,315
Is it? Okay.

1507
01:32:05,441 --> 01:32:06,441
It's not too breasty.

1508
01:32:06,526 --> 01:32:09,653
No. I'm not wearing these heels.
I look like a prostitute.

1509
01:32:09,737 --> 01:32:11,363
Not high heels, then.

1510
01:32:11,489 --> 01:32:13,073
But then we have
the short legs problem.

1511
01:32:13,199 --> 01:32:15,700
Well, do you want to look
like a prostitute or a dwarf?

1512
01:32:16,828 --> 01:32:18,954
Warning. That's a warning.

1513
01:32:22,625 --> 01:32:23,667
Yes!

1514
01:32:23,793 --> 01:32:24,793
No.

1515
01:32:28,714 --> 01:32:29,714
No!

1516
01:32:30,758 --> 01:32:32,843
Now that I like.

1517
01:32:33,136 --> 01:32:35,595
No, I'm just
picking up the dress

1518
01:32:35,721 --> 01:32:38,223
that this goes under.
Such a bad boy.

1519
01:32:40,643 --> 01:32:41,726
This one?

1520
01:32:41,894 --> 01:32:42,936
Not bad.

1521
01:32:43,563 --> 01:32:44,896
Or this one?

1522
01:32:45,022 --> 01:32:47,524
It's a trick question, isn't it?
Same dress. No!

1523
01:32:48,067 --> 01:32:49,109
No?

1524
01:32:49,527 --> 01:32:51,695
Okay. I don't think
this one's too bad.

1525
01:32:52,113 --> 01:32:53,780
Yeah, it's fabulous.

1526
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:55,866
Really? Yeah.

1527
01:32:55,992 --> 01:32:58,326
Okay. Great. Good.

1528
01:32:58,411 --> 01:32:59,536
Um...

1529
01:32:59,996 --> 01:33:01,705
How about the blue one?

1530
01:33:01,831 --> 01:33:03,498
The blue one? Yeah.

1531
01:33:03,624 --> 01:33:06,793
The first one that you tried
on that was boring and lumpy,

1532
01:33:06,878 --> 01:33:09,045
but that wasn't actually
boring and lumpy, that one?

1533
01:33:09,130 --> 01:33:11,047
Yeah, which do you prefer?

1534
01:33:11,174 --> 01:33:13,091
I don't know. I'm actually
starting to go mad.

1535
01:33:13,217 --> 01:33:14,593
I think I like the blue one.

1536
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:16,136
Okay. Yeah.

1537
01:33:17,597 --> 01:33:20,182
Okay. Okay, let's go
with this one, then?

1538
01:33:20,308 --> 01:33:22,142
You look amazing.

1539
01:33:22,268 --> 01:33:23,435
Really? Yes.

1540
01:33:23,561 --> 01:33:25,145
Okay, thanks.

1541
01:33:25,688 --> 01:33:27,355
God.

1542
01:33:27,815 --> 01:33:29,566
Where's Posy?

1543
01:33:29,859 --> 01:33:31,693
I left her downstairs.

1544
01:33:32,153 --> 01:33:35,488
Not leaving the door open to the
room with the manuscript in it?

1545
01:33:36,532 --> 01:33:38,200
I don't think so.

1546
01:33:39,035 --> 01:33:41,453
Look at me. Look me in

1547
01:33:41,579 --> 01:33:44,998
And talk me through this.
Basically my life is over.

1548
01:33:45,124 --> 01:33:47,709
I really need to go out for just
like two minutes, maybe one.

1549
01:33:47,835 --> 01:33:49,502
Don't you dare!

1550
01:33:50,588 --> 01:33:53,132
Don't you dare answer that!
What am I gonna do?

1551
01:33:53,171 --> 01:33:55,713
I think that we should
really answer the phone.

1552
01:33:55,760 --> 01:33:57,219
If you answer
the goddamn phone,

1553
01:33:57,345 --> 01:33:58,803
I will kill you with the phone.

1554
01:33:58,888 --> 01:34:02,015
I won't answer the phone,
but I do need to get out.

1555
01:34:02,141 --> 01:34:04,142
No, no getting out,
no getting out. No.

1556
01:34:04,268 --> 01:34:05,769
Okay, right.

1557
01:34:05,895 --> 01:34:07,479
Sorry, Mr McEwan.

1558
01:34:07,605 --> 01:34:11,524
We read most of your book but,
you see, the rest of it was

1559
01:34:11,651 --> 01:34:14,277
coloured on or shredded.

1560
01:34:15,613 --> 01:34:16,613
Yeah.

1561
01:34:17,657 --> 01:34:19,699
I had no idea Posy
actually knew how to use

1562
01:34:19,825 --> 01:34:21,910
that machine.
In a way that's impressive.

1563
01:34:23,454 --> 01:34:26,122
What is it? How can I help you?

1564
01:34:28,834 --> 01:34:30,502
Mary.

1565
01:34:31,629 --> 01:34:33,797
No, everything... Sorry.

1566
01:34:34,674 --> 01:34:36,633
Your son will explain.

1567
01:34:36,759 --> 01:34:38,260
It's your mother.

1568
01:34:38,928 --> 01:34:40,262
Hi, Mum.

1569
01:34:45,768 --> 01:34:47,769
No, no, it's okay. We'll...

1570
01:34:47,979 --> 01:34:49,729
We'll come straight down.

1571
01:34:50,606 --> 01:34:51,940
Okay, bye.

1572
01:35:06,539 --> 01:35:07,872
Hello, darling.

1573
01:35:08,040 --> 01:35:09,374
Mum. How are you?

1574
01:35:10,459 --> 01:35:11,543
Honestly?

1575
01:35:11,669 --> 01:35:12,711
Why not?

1576
01:35:13,129 --> 01:35:15,797
I am fucking furious.

1577
01:35:16,424 --> 01:35:21,094
I am so uninterested in
a life without your father.

1578
01:35:22,305 --> 01:35:24,556
Mary. Come on,
let's make some tea.

1579
01:35:25,433 --> 01:35:26,558
How are you?

1580
01:35:26,726 --> 01:35:27,809
Yeah, I'm fine.

1581
01:35:27,935 --> 01:35:29,060
Did you eat?

1582
01:35:29,186 --> 01:35:30,312
Yes, of course.

1583
01:35:36,360 --> 01:35:37,402
Desmond.

1584
01:35:38,821 --> 01:35:39,654
How are you?

1585
01:35:39,739 --> 01:35:41,489
I'm very well, thanks.

1586
01:35:41,907 --> 01:35:43,575
Though a little hot.

1587
01:35:47,747 --> 01:35:50,415
Your father,
I think, is not so well.

1588
01:35:51,417 --> 01:35:52,500
Cancer.

1589
01:35:53,753 --> 01:35:54,753
Yes.

1590
01:35:55,212 --> 01:35:57,714
I'm very unhappy about it, Tim.

1591
01:35:59,717 --> 01:36:01,718
At your wedding
he said he loved me.

1592
01:36:02,219 --> 01:36:04,220
He does. I know.

1593
01:36:06,182 --> 01:36:08,516
That was
the best day of my life.

1594
01:36:11,103 --> 01:36:13,438
So this is probably the worst.

1595
01:36:19,695 --> 01:36:20,695
Dad.

1596
01:36:22,948 --> 01:36:24,866
For God's sake.

1597
01:36:25,409 --> 01:36:27,243
Not you, too.

1598
01:36:27,370 --> 01:36:28,411
What?

1599
01:36:28,496 --> 01:36:32,290
Well, Kit Kat's just rolled up blubbing
her eyes out and now you're here.

1600
01:36:32,375 --> 01:36:33,833
What's Mum been saying?

1601
01:36:34,043 --> 01:36:35,085
The truth.

1602
01:36:35,211 --> 01:36:36,252
Yeah, well,

1603
01:36:37,421 --> 01:36:39,089
apart from that?

1604
01:36:40,007 --> 01:36:42,717
It may have been the
smoking but I couldn't

1605
01:36:42,843 --> 01:36:45,595
undo that as it was
before you were all born.

1606
01:36:46,305 --> 01:36:48,923
And anyway, your mother definitely
wouldn't have gone out with me

1607
01:36:49,008 --> 01:36:51,259
if I hadn't been
such a sexy smoker.

1608
01:36:54,355 --> 01:36:58,483
I did get diagnosed as soon as
possible, but it was too late.

1609
01:37:00,361 --> 01:37:01,653
How long have we got?

1610
01:37:01,821 --> 01:37:06,991
You know, it, it could be years.

1611
01:37:09,787 --> 01:37:11,454
How long really?

1612
01:37:14,166 --> 01:37:15,792
Weeks, I'm afraid.

1613
01:37:23,300 --> 01:37:25,802
Have we had this
conversation before?

1614
01:37:28,681 --> 01:37:29,681
Yeah.

1615
01:37:31,434 --> 01:37:33,143
What happened?

1616
01:37:33,269 --> 01:37:35,812
I rather let myself down.

1617
01:37:36,230 --> 01:37:37,897
I hugged you.

1618
01:37:57,209 --> 01:37:58,126
Sorry.

1619
01:37:58,210 --> 01:38:00,962
I think I just thought
with the time thing...

1620
01:38:01,589 --> 01:38:03,715
No, I never said
we could fix things.

1621
01:38:03,883 --> 01:38:05,967
I specifically never said that.

1622
01:38:06,093 --> 01:38:08,595
Life's a mixed bag,
no matter who you are.

1623
01:38:08,721 --> 01:38:10,638
Look at Jesus.
He was the Son of God,

1624
01:38:10,764 --> 01:38:12,724
for God's sake, and look
how that turned out.

1625
01:38:12,850 --> 01:38:14,100
I know, but

1626
01:38:15,060 --> 01:38:17,520
you must see
I feel a bit cheated.

1627
01:38:17,646 --> 01:38:20,064
Don't. In fact,
feel the opposite.

1628
01:38:20,232 --> 01:38:22,692
The only people who
give up work at 50

1629
01:38:22,818 --> 01:38:25,069
are the time travelers
with cancer who want

1630
01:38:25,237 --> 01:38:27,489
to play more table tennis
with their sons.

1631
01:38:29,617 --> 01:38:30,617
Right.

1632
01:38:32,411 --> 01:38:34,412
So that's been the deal?

1633
01:38:36,749 --> 01:38:40,418
I'm sorry we had to call.
It's suddenly got very bad.

1634
01:38:46,217 --> 01:38:48,702
And I have something very
important to tell you.

1635
01:38:48,740 --> 01:38:51,262
Or, let me check,

1636
01:38:51,597 --> 01:38:54,224
do you want to
know the big secret,

1637
01:38:54,308 --> 01:38:56,601
or would you rather find it
out for yourself like I did?

1638
01:38:56,727 --> 01:38:58,770
Christ,
there's another secret?

1639
01:38:59,605 --> 01:39:02,774
Less dramatic.
Much more important.

1640
01:39:03,526 --> 01:39:06,194
The real mothership.

1641
01:39:08,781 --> 01:39:11,282
No, go on. Tell me.

1642
01:39:11,617 --> 01:39:13,576
Let's save some time.

1643
01:39:18,791 --> 01:39:22,460
And so he told me his
secret formula for happiness.

1644
01:39:24,463 --> 01:39:26,548
Part one of the two part plan

1645
01:39:26,674 --> 01:39:28,716
was that I should just get on
with ordinary life,

1646
01:39:28,801 --> 01:39:31,803
living it day by day,
like anyone else.

1647
01:39:37,309 --> 01:39:42,146
This is our current statement with a
revised paragraph there, highlighted.

1648
01:39:45,484 --> 01:39:47,819
Rupert. Rupert, is that
the best you can do?

1649
01:39:48,946 --> 01:39:52,156
No. Absolutely not.
We can change that.

1650
01:39:52,283 --> 01:39:53,783
ltem number two.

1651
01:40:01,292 --> 01:40:04,002
Good afternoon, sir. Are you
eating in or taking away today?

1652
01:40:04,169 --> 01:40:05,503
Take away, please.

1653
01:40:05,629 --> 01:40:06,963
Yeah? No problem.

1654
01:40:07,089 --> 01:40:11,092
Lovely, that's 4.24 then, please, sir.
Thank you kindly.

1655
01:40:11,594 --> 01:40:14,178
Lovely. And there's your change, sir.
76 pence change.

1656
01:40:14,305 --> 01:40:16,014
Thanks. Thank you. Hello there.

1657
01:40:16,432 --> 01:40:17,712
Are you eating in
or taking away?

1658
01:40:23,272 --> 01:40:26,983
Do you find the Defendant, John
Welbeck, guilty or not guilty of fraud?

1659
01:40:27,067 --> 01:40:28,109
Not guilty.

1660
01:40:28,193 --> 01:40:31,657
And that is the verdict of you all? Yes.
Thank you. You may be seated.

1661
01:40:31,989 --> 01:40:33,031
Thank God.

1662
01:40:33,157 --> 01:40:35,533
Let the Defendant
be discharged.

1663
01:40:36,201 --> 01:40:38,202
Be upstanding in court.

1664
01:40:51,550 --> 01:40:53,384
Lights out? Yeah.

1665
01:40:54,219 --> 01:40:55,553
Tough day.

1666
01:40:56,889 --> 01:40:59,390
But then came
part two of Dad's plan.

1667
01:41:01,226 --> 01:41:05,563
He told me to live every day
again almost exactly the same.

1668
01:41:06,357 --> 01:41:08,816
The first time with all the
tensions and worries that

1669
01:41:08,901 --> 01:41:11,694
stop us noticing how
sweet the world can be,

1670
01:41:11,987 --> 01:41:14,572
but the second time noticing.

1671
01:41:14,698 --> 01:41:16,199
Okay, Dad.

1672
01:41:16,909 --> 01:41:18,409
Let's give it a go.

1673
01:41:23,832 --> 01:41:25,792
What's our statement
at the moment?

1674
01:41:26,126 --> 01:41:28,795
This is it with the revised...

1675
01:41:34,760 --> 01:41:38,596
Robert, this does not pass.
Is this the best you can do?

1676
01:41:40,432 --> 01:41:42,141
I'll leave you two
to thrash this out.

1677
01:41:44,937 --> 01:41:46,187
Ooh.

1678
01:41:48,774 --> 01:41:50,775
Good afternoon, sir.
Good afternoon.

1679
01:41:50,901 --> 01:41:53,403
Are you eating in or taking away today?
Take away, please.

1680
01:41:53,487 --> 01:41:54,696
Would you like a bag?

1681
01:41:54,822 --> 01:41:56,072
That's fine.

1682
01:41:56,156 --> 01:41:58,789
Lovely. That's 6.23 then, please.
And enjoy the rest of your day.

1683
01:41:58,884 --> 01:42:00,218
Thank you. Bye-bye.

1684
01:42:00,994 --> 01:42:01,994
Hello, there.

1685
01:42:05,666 --> 01:42:07,458
Look around you! What?

1686
01:42:07,584 --> 01:42:08,793
Isn't this room beautiful?

1687
01:42:08,919 --> 01:42:10,086
Yeah.

1688
01:42:10,629 --> 01:42:11,963
Come on.

1689
01:42:12,798 --> 01:42:14,090
Not guilty.

1690
01:42:17,970 --> 01:42:19,303
Fantastic!

1691
01:42:52,463 --> 01:42:54,464
So not such
a bad day after all?

1692
01:42:54,548 --> 01:42:57,633
No. it was pretty good really.

1693
01:42:58,677 --> 01:43:01,345
Very good day, actually,
as it turns out.

1694
01:43:02,222 --> 01:43:04,682
Well, that's a relief,

1695
01:43:05,684 --> 01:43:08,686
because if it had
been a very bad day,

1696
01:43:09,146 --> 01:43:13,149
I thought I might have had to have
had sex with you to make up for it.

1697
01:43:14,693 --> 01:43:15,693
Goodnight.

1698
01:43:20,699 --> 01:43:23,075
It was a very, very bad day.

1699
01:43:23,202 --> 01:43:25,578
It went very, very badly.

1700
01:43:25,704 --> 01:43:28,372
I got fired from my job.

1701
01:43:29,208 --> 01:43:31,375
And then I killed a man.

1702
01:43:37,049 --> 01:43:39,217
That is a very bad day.

1703
01:43:39,384 --> 01:43:41,385
It's terrible. Yeah.

1704
01:43:42,346 --> 01:43:44,680
Like the worst day ever.

1705
01:43:45,224 --> 01:43:46,891
So sorry.

1706
01:43:51,814 --> 01:43:55,399
Some days, of course, though,
you only want to go through once.

1707
01:43:56,235 --> 01:43:57,401
You okay?

1708
01:44:48,912 --> 01:44:51,789
Right, are we ready for this?

1709
01:44:52,207 --> 01:44:55,626
'Course we're not. Hateful day.

1710
01:44:56,461 --> 01:44:59,297
Just give me one minute.

1711
01:45:21,653 --> 01:45:23,654
This is so brilliant.

1712
01:45:24,573 --> 01:45:29,243
Dickens is so good on
actual jokes, actual gags.

1713
01:45:30,162 --> 01:45:31,913
Where have you come from?

1714
01:45:32,289 --> 01:45:33,831
It's the...

1715
01:45:34,166 --> 01:45:35,833
Okay.

1716
01:45:36,126 --> 01:45:37,668
Big day.

1717
01:45:38,503 --> 01:45:41,964
Thanks for dropping in.
How's Uncle Desmond's suit?

1718
01:45:42,090 --> 01:45:43,925
Immaculate.

1719
01:45:44,176 --> 01:45:45,176
Excellent.

1720
01:45:45,844 --> 01:45:47,524
Did I mention I wanted
the Nick Cave track?

1721
01:45:47,596 --> 01:45:49,263
It's taken care of.

1722
01:45:49,348 --> 01:45:50,806
Thank you.

1723
01:45:51,183 --> 01:45:53,517
Can I just read
you this one bit?

1724
01:45:57,856 --> 01:46:00,358
Read away,
I've got lots of time.

1725
01:46:01,026 --> 01:46:02,902
?'l think the Romans
must have aggravated

1726
01:46:02,986 --> 01:46:05,696
?'one another very
much with their noses.

1727
01:46:05,864 --> 01:46:09,367
?'Perhaps they became the restless
people they were in consequence.

1728
01:46:09,493 --> 01:46:12,703
?'Anyhow, Mr Wopsle's Roman
nose so aggravated me...?'

1729
01:47:48,592 --> 01:47:50,926
What do you
think about the kids?

1730
01:47:51,053 --> 01:47:52,553
What about them?

1731
01:47:53,597 --> 01:47:55,806
Not many of them, are there?

1732
01:47:56,892 --> 01:47:57,892
What?

1733
01:47:58,602 --> 01:48:00,603
Well, I mean two?

1734
01:48:03,398 --> 01:48:05,775
It's more than
the Chinese are allowed.

1735
01:48:07,736 --> 01:48:10,404
I just thought
that maybe, you know,

1736
01:48:11,490 --> 01:48:13,240
it was time for
the insurance baby.

1737
01:48:13,325 --> 01:48:14,325
What?

1738
01:48:14,409 --> 01:48:15,826
In case one of them
is really smart,

1739
01:48:15,911 --> 01:48:18,308
we don't want the other one to
feel stupid their whole life.

1740
01:48:18,346 --> 01:48:22,625
And if we had a third one, then
we could have two happy dummies.

1741
01:48:25,420 --> 01:48:27,088
What do you think?

1742
01:48:31,426 --> 01:48:33,928
It was the toughest
decision of my life.

1743
01:48:34,429 --> 01:48:36,847
Saying 'yes' to
the future meant

1744
01:48:36,973 --> 01:48:39,350
saying 'goodbye'
to my dad. Forever.

1745
01:48:41,144 --> 01:48:43,145
Why don't we wait a bit?

1746
01:48:46,024 --> 01:48:47,191
Absolutely.

1747
01:48:48,026 --> 01:48:50,027
You're right. Yeah.

1748
01:48:54,658 --> 01:48:57,451
How about now?

1749
01:48:59,371 --> 01:49:00,704
Or now?

1750
01:49:03,041 --> 01:49:04,208
Now?

1751
01:49:11,633 --> 01:49:12,633
Yeah,

1752
01:49:14,010 --> 01:49:15,010
okay.

1753
01:49:16,513 --> 01:49:17,555
Really?

1754
01:49:19,850 --> 01:49:22,518
Dad always wished
there had been more of us.

1755
01:49:23,311 --> 01:49:24,311
So...

1756
01:49:26,731 --> 01:49:29,400
Anyway, we might try
and nothing happens.

1757
01:49:29,985 --> 01:49:30,985
Exactly.

1758
01:49:39,744 --> 01:49:41,745
Really could be tonight.

1759
01:49:41,830 --> 01:49:44,331
And you cannot believe
the detail in which

1760
01:49:44,416 --> 01:49:46,333
I know the route
to the hospital.

1761
01:49:46,418 --> 01:49:47,751
Yap.

1762
01:49:51,089 --> 01:49:52,923
Will you excuse me for a sec?

1763
01:49:53,842 --> 01:49:55,509
Just have to go downstairs.

1764
01:50:12,194 --> 01:50:15,196
and it's 17-20 in
this incredibly tight contest

1765
01:50:15,280 --> 01:50:17,072
being played by
the two most physically

1766
01:50:17,199 --> 01:50:18,949
perfect players in
the history of the game.

1767
01:50:19,117 --> 01:50:21,952
The crowd, enchanted by the
younger player, are seduced

1768
01:50:22,037 --> 01:50:24,788
by memories of the older
player's illustrious past.

1769
01:50:26,791 --> 01:50:28,792
My God, I've won.

1770
01:50:29,628 --> 01:50:31,962
I haven't won in years.

1771
01:50:32,464 --> 01:50:34,423
You finally got good.

1772
01:50:35,133 --> 01:50:38,761
What's my prize? Apart from the
Olympic gold medal, of course.

1773
01:50:39,804 --> 01:50:41,013
A kiss will have to do.

1774
01:50:41,139 --> 01:50:44,141
A kiss?

1775
01:50:49,481 --> 01:50:51,440
I get you.

1776
01:50:52,817 --> 01:50:54,318
This is it, then?

1777
01:50:56,279 --> 01:50:57,655
This is it.

1778
01:50:58,448 --> 01:51:00,658
It's my last bit of extra time.

1779
01:51:01,952 --> 01:51:03,577
The baby is
completely on the way.

1780
01:51:24,683 --> 01:51:26,016
Congratulations.

1781
01:51:33,024 --> 01:51:34,525
My son.

1782
01:51:37,862 --> 01:51:39,488
My dad.

1783
01:51:44,452 --> 01:51:46,495
Is there anything
at all I can do?

1784
01:51:46,621 --> 01:51:48,706
Is there anything
you want to do?

1785
01:51:50,500 --> 01:51:53,168
I don't know. There is this

1786
01:51:54,963 --> 01:51:56,630
one thing.

1787
01:51:56,965 --> 01:51:59,049
A quick little walk.

1788
01:51:59,175 --> 01:52:01,051
Totally against the rules,
of course,

1789
01:52:01,177 --> 01:52:03,053
but if we don't change a thing,

1790
01:52:03,388 --> 01:52:06,724
if we're very careful,
it shouldn't do any harm.

1791
01:52:07,225 --> 01:52:08,851
It would be nice.

1792
01:52:39,257 --> 01:52:42,259
I'm really trying.
I'm really trying.

1793
01:52:44,095 --> 01:52:45,387
Get down low.

1794
01:52:50,101 --> 01:52:51,101
Total defeat.

1795
01:53:00,862 --> 01:53:02,196
I'm tired.

1796
01:53:03,198 --> 01:53:04,615
Thanks, Dad.

1797
01:53:20,131 --> 01:53:22,966
So I'm almost
up-to-date with my story.

1798
01:53:23,468 --> 01:53:26,970
As all families do, we got
used to life after death.

1799
01:53:27,097 --> 01:53:28,972
And it was still fine.

1800
01:53:29,766 --> 01:53:33,936
And things settled back into their traditional
rhythms season after season,

1801
01:53:34,396 --> 01:53:36,814
and are much as
they have always been.

1802
01:53:38,149 --> 01:53:40,818
And we've got used to
Kit Kat being happy again.

1803
01:53:41,778 --> 01:53:44,279
And then we got used
to her being a mum.

1804
01:53:44,656 --> 01:53:47,324
Albeit not a very
good or even safe one.

1805
01:53:48,743 --> 01:53:50,119
And in the end,

1806
01:53:50,245 --> 01:53:53,914
I think I've learned the final
lesson from my travels in time.

1807
01:53:54,707 --> 01:53:57,751
And I've even gone one step
further than my father did.

1808
01:54:08,721 --> 01:54:10,389
Okay, I'll do the kids.

1809
01:54:12,225 --> 01:54:14,810
No, don't worry. I'll do them.

1810
01:54:14,936 --> 01:54:16,603
Yeah, you do them,
you lazy bum.

1811
01:54:17,772 --> 01:54:19,736
The truth is, I now
don't travel back at all.

1812
01:54:19,774 --> 01:54:21,775
Not even for the day.

1813
01:54:22,193 --> 01:54:24,778
I just try to
live every day as if

1814
01:54:24,904 --> 01:54:27,531
I've deliberately
come back to this one day

1815
01:54:27,907 --> 01:54:31,577
to enjoy it as if it
was the full final day

1816
01:54:31,828 --> 01:54:34,580
of my extraordinary,
ordinary life.

1817
01:55:02,859 --> 01:55:06,570
Hello, you're down already. That's great.
Thank you so much for that.

1818
01:55:06,696 --> 01:55:08,071
And in we go.

1819
01:55:09,699 --> 01:55:12,493
Posy? Posy!

1820
01:55:20,877 --> 01:55:21,877
That's fine.

1821
01:55:43,358 --> 01:55:46,193
We're all travelling
through time together

1822
01:55:46,486 --> 01:55:48,654
every day of our lives.

1823
01:55:48,821 --> 01:55:51,323
All we can do is do our best

1824
01:55:51,783 --> 01:55:54,535
to relish this remarkable ride.

1825
01:56:37,495 --> 01:56:39,413
Yes, yes, yes...

1826
01:56:51,718 --> 01:56:53,802
Okay, I'll see you then.

1827
01:56:53,928 --> 01:56:55,345
Bye-bye.

1828
01:56:56,014 --> 01:56:57,514
See you later.

1829
01:57:00,014 --> 01:57:10,014
© anoXmous
@ https://thepiratebay.se/user/Zen_Bud