1 00:00:33,474 --> 00:00:36,949 That logo music just gets you pumped. 2 00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:38,147 Right? 3 00:00:38,148 --> 00:00:41,987 I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited to be here. It's been a while. 4 00:00:41,988 --> 00:00:42,888 You know, for a long time, 5 00:00:42,889 --> 00:00:45,122 I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. 6 00:00:45,123 --> 00:00:45,891 Disney bought Fox, 7 00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,960 there was a whole boring rights issue, 8 00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:48,762 blabbity-blabbity-blah. 9 00:00:48,763 --> 00:00:51,325 But then, it turned out, they wanted me. 10 00:00:51,326 --> 00:00:54,736 The one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie, 11 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:56,099 much less a franchise. 12 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:59,135 Marvel's so stupid. 13 00:00:59,136 --> 00:01:01,105 Look, we know the title of this thing. 14 00:01:01,106 --> 00:01:03,173 So, I know what you're wondering. 15 00:01:03,174 --> 00:01:04,041 How are we gonna do this 16 00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:07,848 without dishonoring Logan's memory? 17 00:01:07,849 --> 00:01:09,916 And I'll tell you how. 18 00:01:10,114 --> 00:01:10,751 We're not. 19 00:01:12,414 --> 00:01:15,119 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 20 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,614 Wolverine is not dead. 21 00:01:16,615 --> 00:01:20,729 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story. 22 00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:21,487 But that's not how 23 00:01:21,488 --> 00:01:23,589 regenerative healing factors work. 24 00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:24,798 You think I wanna be out here 25 00:01:24,799 --> 00:01:26,624 in beautiful downtown North Dakota, 26 00:01:26,625 --> 00:01:30,035 digging up the one and only Wolverine? No, thank you. 27 00:01:30,036 --> 00:01:32,807 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 28 00:01:32,808 --> 00:01:34,633 He may not be living his best life, 29 00:01:34,634 --> 00:01:37,020 but he sure as hell ain't 30 00:01:37,021 --> 00:01:39,407 dead. 31 00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,347 Bingo. 32 00:01:45,787 --> 00:01:47,184 Yahtzee. 33 00:01:49,681 --> 00:01:53,322 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 34 00:01:56,589 --> 00:01:57,897 Damn it! 35 00:01:57,898 --> 00:02:01,726 Son of a bitch! 36 00:02:02,936 --> 00:02:04,068 You... 37 00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:09,040 Christ. Motherfucker! 38 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,878 My world is fuck... 39 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:14,079 That was weird. 40 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:14,815 I'm much calmer now. 41 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,446 Look, I'm not a man of science. 42 00:02:19,447 --> 00:02:22,956 But you seem incredibly passed away. 43 00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:26,860 But it's good to see ya. 44 00:02:26,861 --> 00:02:30,799 I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride with you, Log. 45 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,722 You and me getting into it. 46 00:02:31,723 --> 00:02:35,694 Deadpool and Wolverine just fuckin' shit up. 47 00:02:35,695 --> 00:02:39,599 Can you imagine the fun, the chaos... 48 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,039 the residuals? 49 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,172 "G'day, mate. 50 00:02:42,173 --> 00:02:44,439 "There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster 51 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,078 "than a big bag of Marvel cash." 52 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:50,709 Me too, Hugh. 53 00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:53,084 But, no. No, no, no. 54 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:57,716 You had to get all noble and die for real. 55 00:02:57,717 --> 00:03:00,026 Goddamn it! 56 00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:03,865 I could really use your help right now. 57 00:03:14,205 --> 00:03:15,843 Wait! 58 00:03:15,844 --> 00:03:17,945 I'm warning you, I'm not alone. 59 00:03:17,946 --> 00:03:19,539 Wade Winston Wilson, 60 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:22,642 you are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority... 61 00:03:22,643 --> 00:03:23,510 Oof. 62 00:03:23,511 --> 00:03:24,748 for too many crimes to list. 63 00:03:24,749 --> 00:03:25,900 Come out... 64 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,052 and we'll extend you the courtesy 65 00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:30,023 - of taking you in one piece. - Death by day-player. 66 00:03:30,024 --> 00:03:31,122 Last chance. 67 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:31,892 Throw out your weapons 68 00:03:31,893 --> 00:03:34,026 and come out peacefully. 69 00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:36,161 I'm not gonna give you my weapons, 70 00:03:36,162 --> 00:03:38,756 but I promise not to use them. 71 00:03:38,757 --> 00:03:41,242 There are two hundred and six bones in the human body. 72 00:03:41,243 --> 00:03:43,729 Two hundred and seven if I'm watching Gossip Girl. 73 00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:55,575 Okay, peanut. 74 00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:58,315 Guess we're getting that team-up after all. 75 00:05:07,484 --> 00:05:10,123 Maradona from outside the box! 76 00:05:10,124 --> 00:05:12,553 Goal! 77 00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,041 Come on, big fella. 78 00:06:39,829 --> 00:06:43,117 I am soaking wet right now. 79 00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:47,764 To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this. 80 00:06:47,765 --> 00:06:50,685 The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia. 81 00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:51,718 It isn't who I am. 82 00:06:51,719 --> 00:06:53,523 It isn't who I wanna be. 83 00:06:53,524 --> 00:06:54,193 Who I wanna be? 84 00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:56,427 Well, to help you understand that, 85 00:06:56,428 --> 00:06:57,328 I've gotta take you back. 86 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,826 A little joyride I took through space and time, 87 00:06:59,827 --> 00:07:03,071 to the day that changed everything. 88 00:07:14,742 --> 00:07:16,446 I can't believe I'm finally here. 89 00:07:16,447 --> 00:07:20,286 I've waited for this moment for so long. 90 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,850 Thank you, sir, for seeing me. 91 00:07:23,851 --> 00:07:25,884 I... I firmly believe 92 00:07:25,885 --> 00:07:27,705 that my services could be of 93 00:07:27,706 --> 00:07:29,526 great use to your organization. 94 00:07:29,527 --> 00:07:30,130 Now, I know 95 00:07:30,131 --> 00:07:32,397 I was caught smashturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower, 96 00:07:32,398 --> 00:07:33,827 - but I can assure you that... - Smashturbating? 97 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,893 I'm sorry, what... what was that? 98 00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:39,030 No, I'm sorry. That... That's when you get those toy, 99 00:07:39,031 --> 00:07:39,733 Hulk hands, right? 100 00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:42,318 And then you just, you look down, and you just... 101 00:07:42,319 --> 00:07:44,903 you brace yourself, and you ravage the midsection. 102 00:07:44,904 --> 00:07:46,906 - Pinch the... Yeah. Okay. - I get it. Okay, thank you. 103 00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:48,908 - The picture's painted. - You get the gist. 104 00:07:48,909 --> 00:07:51,614 Uh, what exactly brings you here today? 105 00:07:51,615 --> 00:07:55,079 Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh... 106 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:55,980 I... I care. 107 00:07:55,981 --> 00:08:00,084 I know I turn everything into a joke, but I... 108 00:08:00,953 --> 00:08:04,825 I care, and I wanna use that feeling... 109 00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,777 for something important. 110 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,564 I... I wanna matter. 111 00:08:11,029 --> 00:08:14,065 I need to show my girl that I matter. 112 00:08:14,934 --> 00:08:15,934 And... 113 00:08:15,935 --> 00:08:17,541 You know, I feel like I'm wasting 114 00:08:17,542 --> 00:08:18,277 the good stuff here. 115 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:19,972 Is the man not gonna be joining us? 116 00:08:19,973 --> 00:08:20,741 - The man? - Yeah. 117 00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,578 I should save this if he's gonna... 118 00:08:22,579 --> 00:08:25,186 Uh, as far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man. 119 00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:26,549 - No. - The man is me. 120 00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:29,817 I am the man in this circumstance. 121 00:08:29,818 --> 00:08:31,015 - Mm. - He doesn't do 122 00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:32,721 this kind of thing anymore. 123 00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:33,490 - Cameos? - Meetings. 124 00:08:33,491 --> 00:08:35,625 - Meetings. - Entry-level meetings. 125 00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:36,229 Entry-level? 126 00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:37,989 Aren't you the chauffeur... 127 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:40,399 - maybe? - I... Common misconception. 128 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:41,994 - Okay. - I did begin my career 129 00:08:41,995 --> 00:08:43,566 as Mr. Stark's driver. 130 00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:44,567 - Okay. - Quickly pivoted to... 131 00:08:44,568 --> 00:08:46,333 - Chauffeur. - ... the Head of Security. 132 00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:48,099 The Head of... Of course, yes, yes, yes. 133 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,936 And why I am vetting your resume. 134 00:08:50,937 --> 00:08:53,478 You seem to have left out whether or not you had 135 00:08:53,479 --> 00:08:55,612 any experience as a member of a team. 136 00:08:55,613 --> 00:08:56,348 Could you maybe add 137 00:08:56,349 --> 00:08:57,448 a little bit of perspective there? 138 00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:00,078 Oh. No, yes, of course. I was Special Forces... 139 00:09:00,079 --> 00:09:01,431 - Okay. - ... but I was... 140 00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:02,542 Mainly, I was team leader... 141 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,652 founder, really, of X-Force. 142 00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:05,919 Sadly, they... they all perished in action though. 143 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,084 Oh. How exactly did that happen? 144 00:09:07,085 --> 00:09:09,053 Well, the police say gravity, but if... 145 00:09:09,054 --> 00:09:11,023 Just between us, they didn't test well 146 00:09:11,024 --> 00:09:12,777 - in the focus group. - I see. 147 00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:14,532 - Particularly Cable. - X-Force. 148 00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:15,235 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 149 00:09:15,236 --> 00:09:16,418 Look, I can see this isn't going well. 150 00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:18,560 Please stop writing. Look, I... I... 151 00:09:18,561 --> 00:09:20,703 I'm just... I wanna be an Avenger. 152 00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:24,102 I wanna be an Avenger. 153 00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:26,741 Why do you wanna be an Avenger? 154 00:09:26,742 --> 00:09:28,513 Look around you. I mean, they're the... 155 00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:30,344 they're the best of the best. 156 00:09:30,345 --> 00:09:32,176 And... And what they do matters. 157 00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,078 I need to be an Avenger. 158 00:09:34,079 --> 00:09:36,917 Sir, my girl has kinda had it with my shtick, 159 00:09:36,918 --> 00:09:37,818 and I... if I don't, you know, 160 00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:40,370 turn things around and do something with my "gifts," 161 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,923 I don't think it's gonna really work out for me, 162 00:09:42,924 --> 00:09:44,957 and I wouldn't blame her. 163 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:49,864 Avengers are a very unique group of superheroes 164 00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:50,600 that stand for something 165 00:09:50,601 --> 00:09:53,735 more than just fighting and wearing costumes. 166 00:09:53,736 --> 00:09:56,871 I mean, people look up to us. Kids look up to us. 167 00:09:56,872 --> 00:09:57,871 - They... - I'm sorry. "Us"? 168 00:09:57,872 --> 00:10:00,677 I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger. 169 00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:01,909 Avengers-adjacent, technically. 170 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:03,140 Oh, wow. What's your superpower? 171 00:10:03,141 --> 00:10:06,254 Is it parallel parking? I am so sorry. 172 00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:06,847 That was cruel. 173 00:10:06,848 --> 00:10:09,686 I lash out when I'm nervous. Won't happen again. 174 00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:11,149 - Let's cut to the chase. - Please. 175 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:12,391 You just said moments ago 176 00:10:12,392 --> 00:10:15,857 that you wanted to be an Avenger because 177 00:10:15,858 --> 00:10:17,023 you need it. 178 00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:18,188 Yes, sir, I do. 179 00:10:18,189 --> 00:10:19,993 But the Avengers don't do the job 180 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,059 because they need it. 181 00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:24,305 They do the job because people need them. 182 00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:27,000 Do you see the distinction? 183 00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:30,201 Yes, sir. 184 00:10:30,443 --> 00:10:31,509 Please, Mr. Hogan. 185 00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:32,907 I don't wanna spend the rest of my life 186 00:10:32,908 --> 00:10:36,042 like an annoying one-trick pony. 187 00:10:38,451 --> 00:10:39,946 All right. 188 00:10:39,947 --> 00:10:41,552 Oh, my God, you're standing. 189 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:43,720 Yeah, now's the time that we stand. 190 00:10:43,721 --> 00:10:44,181 Damn it. 191 00:10:44,182 --> 00:10:46,018 Now, the problem might be that you're 192 00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:47,855 reaching a little... little too high. 193 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,595 Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss. 194 00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:51,959 Right? I think you got a good heart. 195 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,564 I believe what you're saying. 196 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,699 But not everybody's the world-saving type. 197 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,036 I'm not, and I'm happy. 198 00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:00,374 Right? I found my place. 199 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:02,639 Find your place. 200 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,674 All right? Get back out there. 201 00:11:04,675 --> 00:11:06,776 - We'll keep an eye on you. - Okay. 202 00:11:06,777 --> 00:11:08,272 Good luck. 203 00:11:08,448 --> 00:11:11,164 - Mm. Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 204 00:11:11,165 --> 00:11:13,882 Fetch the car. I wanna hit Shake Shack. 205 00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:16,181 Rejection makes me hungy. 206 00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:18,155 - No, no. Please. - No? 207 00:11:18,156 --> 00:11:19,855 - Yeah, no, no, no. - Okay. 208 00:11:19,856 --> 00:11:21,659 Okay, thank you. 209 00:11:22,561 --> 00:11:24,530 You know what they say. 210 00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,796 When one door closes, 211 00:11:26,994 --> 00:11:29,479 your locker at work opens. 212 00:11:38,478 --> 00:11:40,144 Now let's go sell some certified 213 00:11:40,145 --> 00:11:41,811 pre-owned vehicles, motherfu... 214 00:11:43,516 --> 00:11:47,982 Technically, the... the Carnival's not a minivan. 215 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,213 It's an MPV. 216 00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:51,821 So how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey? 217 00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:53,151 The Odyssey? That's a great question. 218 00:11:53,152 --> 00:11:55,153 Um, it doesn't fucking suck. 219 00:11:55,154 --> 00:11:57,695 You know, you can answer the question without swearing. 220 00:11:57,696 --> 00:12:00,665 I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't... I don't have kids. 221 00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:03,167 Not that I haven't dreamt of that, 222 00:12:03,168 --> 00:12:05,670 but I don't have a lot of vaginal sex. 223 00:12:07,804 --> 00:12:08,969 You'll get 'em next time, pal. 224 00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:10,135 - Yeah. - And look, 225 00:12:10,136 --> 00:12:11,642 you can always go back to superhero-ing. 226 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,277 I mean, I know I'd like to see you back in the suit. 227 00:12:14,278 --> 00:12:16,911 I don't keep it in my locker so that I can wear it. 228 00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:19,849 I keep it in my locker in case we need to saddle up again. 229 00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:23,721 Hey, hey, hey. What is that doing in there? 230 00:12:23,722 --> 00:12:25,316 I'm done. 231 00:12:26,592 --> 00:12:28,054 I'm done. 232 00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:30,106 And I'm fine with being done. 233 00:12:30,107 --> 00:12:32,158 Look, is sales the best match? 234 00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:32,795 Probably not. 235 00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:36,734 Is this the life that I always imagined for myself? Fuck no. 236 00:12:36,735 --> 00:12:40,507 But this is the right fit for me, Sugar Bear, it is. 237 00:12:40,508 --> 00:12:41,870 Okay, Mr. Wilson. 238 00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:43,691 I'm just saying, once a month, 239 00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:45,511 we could go on a little mission. 240 00:12:45,512 --> 00:12:48,680 We're human beings. We crave purpose. 241 00:12:48,681 --> 00:12:49,977 After all, we're Deadpool. 242 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,915 Please stop saying that. We're not Deadpool. 243 00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,784 I'm not even Deadpool anymore. 244 00:12:54,785 --> 00:12:58,085 Well, if you're gonna have a midlife crisis, go big. 245 00:12:58,086 --> 00:12:59,756 A few years ago, a friend of mine 246 00:12:59,757 --> 00:13:02,809 got his nipples pierced with a titanium chain 247 00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:05,862 that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson. 248 00:13:09,470 --> 00:13:11,769 Are... Are you feeling grumplestiltskin 249 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:13,969 'cause it's your birthday? 250 00:13:15,102 --> 00:13:16,741 What? 251 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,402 No. 252 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,646 No. 253 00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:25,529 Surprise! 254 00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,379 Hey, you guys are lucky I'm not armed. 255 00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:29,181 Get in here. 256 00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:31,690 If this were six years ago, you'd all be dead. 257 00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,626 So then, he gets out of the cab, 258 00:13:33,627 --> 00:13:34,626 and you will not believe it. 259 00:13:34,627 --> 00:13:36,507 I turn around, and what do I find? 260 00:13:36,508 --> 00:13:38,389 - AirPods. His AirPods. - His AirPods! 261 00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:39,323 - Come on. - Crazy story. 262 00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:43,196 - Every time. Come on. - Every single time. 263 00:13:44,571 --> 00:13:45,819 Make any sales today? 264 00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:47,067 You know I didn't. 265 00:13:47,068 --> 00:13:48,971 Did you sell any dreamcatchers on Etsy 266 00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:50,576 or whatever it is that you do? 267 00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:52,546 Our rent's due in three days, Wade. 268 00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:53,860 I can't keep carrying you. 269 00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:55,174 Relax. I have the money. 270 00:13:55,175 --> 00:13:58,112 I sold some old blood pressure medication 271 00:13:58,113 --> 00:13:59,046 I found lying around. 272 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,652 You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker? 273 00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:02,556 I'm not the one dousing everything in salt, 274 00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:05,185 - motherfucker. - I pray every day 275 00:14:05,186 --> 00:14:06,988 that fire finds your body 276 00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:09,007 and finishes the job God didn't have 277 00:14:09,008 --> 00:14:10,951 - the nuts to do. - That's hurtful. 278 00:14:10,952 --> 00:14:12,896 If you could hear the look on my face, 279 00:14:12,897 --> 00:14:14,364 you'd smell how sad I am. 280 00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:16,099 You watched anything good? 281 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,835 Great British Bake Off. 282 00:14:17,836 --> 00:14:18,461 Oh, goddamn. 283 00:14:18,462 --> 00:14:21,085 That show stood between me and suicide for 10 years. 284 00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:23,709 Those are my feelings on abortion, religious freedom, 285 00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:25,875 animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines, 286 00:14:25,876 --> 00:14:28,658 free-market capitalism, global climate change. 287 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,442 Yeah, duh-duh-duh. No, no speaking lines, Buck. 288 00:14:31,443 --> 00:14:33,664 - Hi, Yukio. - Hi, Wade. 289 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,885 Nice fake o'clock shadow. 290 00:14:35,886 --> 00:14:38,723 It's a summer balayage. From the French. 291 00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:42,794 It's meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun. 292 00:14:42,795 --> 00:14:44,829 - It's a toupee. - It's a hair system. 293 00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:47,535 I love your hair system, Wade. 294 00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:48,700 Thank you. Heh. 295 00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:49,459 Wanna do some cocaine? 296 00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:52,936 Hey, cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits. 297 00:14:52,937 --> 00:14:54,574 What about Bolivian marching powder? 298 00:14:54,575 --> 00:14:56,874 They know all the slang terms. They have a list. 299 00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:59,173 - Even snowboarding? - Even disco dust. 300 00:14:59,174 --> 00:14:59,942 White girl interrupted? 301 00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:01,262 - Even Forrest Bump. - Booger sugar? 302 00:15:01,263 --> 00:15:02,582 I wouldn't even try powdered gonuts. 303 00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:07,346 - Do you wanna build a snowman? - Yes. But I can't. 304 00:15:08,446 --> 00:15:09,589 Pull here. 305 00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:10,623 - Here? - Yeah. 306 00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:14,287 - What happened? - That's the fun part. 307 00:15:14,991 --> 00:15:16,564 Thanks for coming. 308 00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:17,597 Yeah. 309 00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:18,631 How's work? 310 00:15:18,632 --> 00:15:20,700 Oh, I got a promotion. 311 00:15:21,063 --> 00:15:21,524 No way. 312 00:15:21,525 --> 00:15:25,430 Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle management, but I'm happy. 313 00:15:25,431 --> 00:15:27,069 That's great. 314 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,303 - You, uh, seeing anyone? - How about you? 315 00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,645 Um... Yeah. 316 00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:35,583 A guy from work. Dermot. 317 00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:36,506 Dermot. 318 00:15:36,507 --> 00:15:38,046 - He's kind. - Good. 319 00:15:38,047 --> 00:15:39,586 Likes to go hiking. 320 00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,566 Hasn't gotten me shot yet. 321 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,547 Well, it's the early days. 322 00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:49,553 What about you? You seeing anyone? 323 00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:50,157 Mm... 324 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,962 No, no, I live in a one-bedroom apartment. 325 00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:54,294 I share a bed with Blind Al. 326 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:56,933 Okay. 327 00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:59,233 - All right. - All right. 328 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,065 - Speech! Speech! - Yes! 329 00:16:05,066 --> 00:16:07,912 All right. Okay, okay, okay. Uh... 330 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:08,945 Birthdays. 331 00:16:08,946 --> 00:16:10,816 Boy, every spin around the moon 332 00:16:10,817 --> 00:16:11,684 is a new adventure indeed. 333 00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:14,919 - Sun, dumb-ass. - Okay, round-earther. 334 00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:17,889 - Where was I? - The adventure of life. 335 00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:18,581 Right. Um... 336 00:16:18,582 --> 00:16:20,319 It's been a challenging few years. 337 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,057 Haven't seen you guys in a while. 338 00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:24,543 Been through a lot, uh, change of life. 339 00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:27,030 - Menopause? - Bitch, are you improv-ing? 340 00:16:27,031 --> 00:16:28,800 - Mm-mm. - Sorry. 341 00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:30,704 I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio. 342 00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:33,674 - It's okay. - Yeah. 343 00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:35,741 But I'm happy. 344 00:16:35,742 --> 00:16:36,874 You know, and that's... that's 345 00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:39,327 because of each and every one of you. 346 00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:41,522 I guess, what I'm trying to say is 347 00:16:41,523 --> 00:16:43,717 how proud I am, how grateful I am 348 00:16:43,718 --> 00:16:44,783 to be standing in a room 349 00:16:44,784 --> 00:16:48,216 with every single person I love. 350 00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:55,663 I'm the luckiest man alive. 351 00:16:57,555 --> 00:16:58,291 Make a wish, buddy. 352 00:16:58,292 --> 00:17:01,493 Ten-four, good buddy. 353 00:17:01,494 --> 00:17:03,132 Going down. 354 00:17:08,874 --> 00:17:09,841 Wade Wilson? 355 00:17:09,842 --> 00:17:10,941 Oh, yeah. Dancers. 356 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,712 Dopinder must have ordered you. 357 00:17:12,713 --> 00:17:15,012 Are those supposed to be cop costumes? 358 00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:15,880 Never mind. 359 00:17:15,881 --> 00:17:18,576 Take your clothes off but leave the helmets. 360 00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:20,165 And this isn't Pretty Woman. 361 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,754 We're kissing. All right? 362 00:17:21,755 --> 00:17:24,791 What song do you guys normally dance to? 363 00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:28,190 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 364 00:17:28,191 --> 00:17:29,355 Is that supposed to be scary? 365 00:17:29,356 --> 00:17:31,655 Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. 366 00:17:31,656 --> 00:17:33,107 But it is for Disney. 367 00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:34,558 Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta! 368 00:17:34,559 --> 00:17:36,577 Okay, I've never been a natural bottom, 369 00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:38,758 so we're gonna take things real slow. 370 00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:40,939 And I want some crazy eye contact. 371 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:41,598 Not you. You. 372 00:17:41,599 --> 00:17:43,942 Can't see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel them. 373 00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,503 We're gonna move on down the hallway 374 00:17:45,504 --> 00:17:47,638 so we can spare a cleanup on aisle asshole. 375 00:17:47,639 --> 00:17:49,541 How's everyone feel about this plan? 376 00:17:49,542 --> 00:17:50,244 I don't like you. 377 00:17:50,245 --> 00:17:52,577 Yes. Let's hold on to that attitude. 378 00:17:52,578 --> 00:17:54,788 And we're gonna do it angry. 379 00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:14,368 Mr. Wilson... 380 00:18:14,742 --> 00:18:18,108 you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. 381 00:18:18,109 --> 00:18:21,012 I wasn't unconscious. Who are you? 382 00:18:21,013 --> 00:18:22,573 I go by the name of Paradox. 383 00:18:22,574 --> 00:18:26,644 Mr. Paradox. And you're sitting here at the TVA. 384 00:18:26,645 --> 00:18:28,579 The Time Variance Authority. 385 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,614 We're really a watchdog organization, 386 00:18:30,615 --> 00:18:33,552 except we're more lighthearted than that sounds, 387 00:18:33,553 --> 00:18:37,028 with a sort of throwback, ironic twist. 388 00:18:37,029 --> 00:18:38,931 And we're in charge of defending 389 00:18:38,932 --> 00:18:40,833 what's known as the Sacred Timeline. 390 00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:44,563 Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton of exposition for a threequel. 391 00:18:44,564 --> 00:18:46,719 Is this because I used Cable's time machine? 392 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,875 Brought a couple of people back to life, 393 00:18:48,876 --> 00:18:49,633 then I destroyed it. 394 00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:50,876 - That was a long time ago. - Yes, 395 00:18:50,877 --> 00:18:53,725 we're aware of your abuse of your timeline. 396 00:18:53,726 --> 00:18:56,635 And you were so abusive of it. 397 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,545 Uh, no, it has nothing to do with that. 398 00:18:59,546 --> 00:19:01,184 Walk with me. 399 00:19:05,826 --> 00:19:09,060 I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you 400 00:19:09,061 --> 00:19:10,555 that you're special. 401 00:19:10,556 --> 00:19:13,966 In fact, you've been chosen for a higher purpose, 402 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,529 a purpose unclear even to me. 403 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,266 But one that could 404 00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,939 save the entire Sacred Timeline 405 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,910 from a possibly grisly fate sometime in the future, 406 00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:27,210 which may very well need to be... 407 00:19:27,211 --> 00:19:28,771 avenged. 408 00:19:28,772 --> 00:19:31,181 This Sacred Timeline, 409 00:19:31,445 --> 00:19:34,151 I assume I'm going to marvel 410 00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:35,679 at how 411 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,252 cinematic it feels? 412 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:38,825 Gratuitous cameos, 413 00:19:38,826 --> 00:19:41,686 indiscriminate use of Variants, the whole package? 414 00:19:41,687 --> 00:19:43,523 Well, you tell me. 415 00:19:50,904 --> 00:19:52,301 Cap! 416 00:19:58,571 --> 00:20:01,155 You are no longer lost, Wade. 417 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,740 You can be a hero among heroes. 418 00:20:03,741 --> 00:20:06,150 We've been surveilling you for quite a while. 419 00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:10,220 - Subway station. - A TVA outpost, yes. 420 00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:12,684 - And what is that? - Hmm? 421 00:20:14,752 --> 00:20:17,029 Is that me? Is that Thor? 422 00:20:17,491 --> 00:20:19,058 - Is he crying? - Uh, let's not 423 00:20:19,059 --> 00:20:20,513 get ahead of ourselves. 424 00:20:20,514 --> 00:20:22,104 That happens in the distant future. 425 00:20:22,105 --> 00:20:23,694 Why is Thor crying? Quick! Tell me. 426 00:20:23,695 --> 00:20:25,729 Do not speak to her. Stop that. Eyes on me. 427 00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:27,765 I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. 428 00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:29,684 The opportunity you sought years ago, 429 00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:31,604 but for which you were not ready. 430 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,835 We believe you're ready now. 431 00:20:32,836 --> 00:20:34,876 Ready for a chance to leave your timeline 432 00:20:34,877 --> 00:20:36,916 and join the greatest universe of all. 433 00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:39,447 I am about to give you the thing you've always wanted. 434 00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:41,080 Oh, I smell what you're steppin' in. 435 00:20:41,081 --> 00:20:42,714 The power in the Marvel Universe 436 00:20:42,715 --> 00:20:44,749 is about to change forever. 437 00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:47,685 I am the Messiah... 438 00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,723 I am... 439 00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:55,397 Marvel Jesus. 440 00:20:55,727 --> 00:20:57,564 Can you excuse me for just a moment? 441 00:20:57,565 --> 00:20:59,863 I'm just gonna go over here. 442 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,800 Suck it, Fox! 443 00:21:03,801 --> 00:21:05,522 I'm going to Disneyland. 444 00:21:05,523 --> 00:21:07,244 Get fucked! 445 00:21:10,214 --> 00:21:10,840 Where do I sign? 446 00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:12,809 Oh, there's no need for paperwork. 447 00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:14,779 Good. Not to brag, but I do not read. 448 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:15,416 Oh. 449 00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:18,387 There is one thing I will need, though. 450 00:21:21,853 --> 00:21:24,558 Oh, fuck off! 451 00:21:24,559 --> 00:21:27,132 Adorn me, Beardo. 452 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,515 Fuckin' A! 453 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,121 Uhh! It's perfect! FYI, 454 00:21:50,122 --> 00:21:54,093 your tailor is a predator, but I love it. Snug. 455 00:21:54,094 --> 00:21:54,785 No camel toe. 456 00:21:54,786 --> 00:21:58,757 New car smell and adamantium katanas? 457 00:21:58,758 --> 00:22:00,412 You shouldn't have. 458 00:22:00,413 --> 00:22:02,067 Go ahead. Take it in. 459 00:22:02,068 --> 00:22:05,005 And yes, your underwear is getting tighter. 460 00:22:05,006 --> 00:22:06,803 That guy knows what I'm talking about. 461 00:22:06,804 --> 00:22:09,171 His clothes says middle management, 462 00:22:09,172 --> 00:22:11,539 but his eyes say fuck-y fuck-y. 463 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,541 Yes. You look very nice. 464 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:14,244 "Nice"? 465 00:22:14,245 --> 00:22:16,478 Your buddy here is ready to throw it all away for me. 466 00:22:16,479 --> 00:22:17,544 - You callin' your wife? - HR. 467 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,710 Does your wife work in HR? 468 00:22:18,711 --> 00:22:21,516 I'm really glad you're taking this so well. 469 00:22:21,517 --> 00:22:22,989 Oh, I'm taking it well. 470 00:22:22,990 --> 00:22:25,652 I have never had a problem traveling for work. 471 00:22:25,653 --> 00:22:27,686 That said, we should talk vacation days. 472 00:22:27,687 --> 00:22:30,492 I'm more of a one-week-on- one-week-off kind of guy. 473 00:22:30,493 --> 00:22:31,657 I think it's what they do in Denmark. 474 00:22:31,658 --> 00:22:33,693 You know, you'll never see a Danish flag on the moon, 475 00:22:33,694 --> 00:22:35,496 but goddamn it, they're happy. 476 00:22:35,497 --> 00:22:38,863 Now, let's power up your little Amazon Fire phone there 477 00:22:38,864 --> 00:22:39,665 and zip me back home 478 00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:42,471 so I can let my friends know that they've been upgraded 479 00:22:42,472 --> 00:22:43,108 to disciples. 480 00:22:43,109 --> 00:22:45,908 Yeah. I don't think you... quite understand. 481 00:22:45,909 --> 00:22:48,892 Um, you will not be returning to your home 482 00:22:48,893 --> 00:22:51,876 because there will be no home to return to. 483 00:22:51,877 --> 00:22:52,777 Come again? 484 00:22:52,778 --> 00:22:54,714 This time in my ears. 485 00:22:57,783 --> 00:23:01,952 This is your universe, Mr. Wilson. 486 00:23:02,062 --> 00:23:02,919 That 487 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,955 is what happens when a universe 488 00:23:04,956 --> 00:23:06,923 loses their Anchor Being. 489 00:23:06,924 --> 00:23:08,892 See how it decays from the inside? 490 00:23:08,893 --> 00:23:11,846 - This is how a reality dies. - What's an Anchor Being? 491 00:23:11,847 --> 00:23:14,800 An Anchor Being is an entity of such vital importance 492 00:23:14,801 --> 00:23:15,536 that when they die, 493 00:23:15,537 --> 00:23:18,605 their whole world slowly withers out of existence. 494 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:21,328 You've just won the lottery because I didn't die. 495 00:23:21,329 --> 00:23:24,051 It was just a little midlife crisis. I'm better now. 496 00:23:24,052 --> 00:23:27,186 Oh, no, no, no. 497 00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,685 - Oh, my God. - Oh, I love to laugh. 498 00:23:32,686 --> 00:23:35,557 Can you imagine if you were the Anchor Being? 499 00:23:35,558 --> 00:23:38,378 - Yeah. - Oh! 500 00:23:38,379 --> 00:23:41,200 - Yeah. - No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson. 501 00:23:41,201 --> 00:23:42,332 Your Anchor Being died 502 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,236 in an act of self-sacrifice so epic 503 00:23:45,237 --> 00:23:48,141 that it sent shivers down the Timeline. 504 00:23:48,142 --> 00:23:52,145 I am referring, of course, to... 505 00:23:52,772 --> 00:23:57,249 Logan. The Wolverine. 506 00:23:59,482 --> 00:24:03,150 Don't be what they made you. 507 00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:15,762 Ah, so this is what it feels like... 508 00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:18,633 Logan. 509 00:24:18,864 --> 00:24:20,371 Of course. 510 00:24:20,602 --> 00:24:22,032 Logan. 511 00:24:24,271 --> 00:24:25,507 Logan? 512 00:24:25,508 --> 00:24:27,410 The guy with forks for hands? 513 00:24:27,411 --> 00:24:29,544 That Wolverine? 514 00:24:29,545 --> 00:24:31,678 Yeah, I got it. You can turn your 515 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,121 retro graphics of death off now. Make it stop. 516 00:24:34,122 --> 00:24:35,848 We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson. 517 00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:37,883 We certainly can't stop it. 518 00:24:38,950 --> 00:24:40,016 How long have we got? 519 00:24:40,017 --> 00:24:42,002 In most cases, couple thousand years. 520 00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:44,249 - Well, sweet. - Well, most cases 521 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:45,955 aren't fast enough. Not for me. 522 00:24:45,956 --> 00:24:47,826 What does that mean? 523 00:24:47,827 --> 00:24:49,696 It means that I have been tasked 524 00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:52,568 with overseeing the end of your universe. 525 00:24:52,569 --> 00:24:53,337 And regardless of what 526 00:24:53,338 --> 00:24:55,670 the pencil pushers upstairs would prefer, 527 00:24:55,671 --> 00:24:56,241 I will not 528 00:24:56,242 --> 00:24:59,806 waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. 529 00:24:59,807 --> 00:25:01,923 We used to just prune these things. Simple. 530 00:25:01,924 --> 00:25:04,203 Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA 531 00:25:04,204 --> 00:25:06,327 doesn't like to do that anymore. Well, I do. 532 00:25:06,328 --> 00:25:08,924 And no matter what my so-called superiors say, 533 00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:11,521 the multiverse does not need a babysitter. 534 00:25:11,522 --> 00:25:13,187 We need a mercy killer. 535 00:25:13,188 --> 00:25:14,853 And in this instance, 536 00:25:14,854 --> 00:25:18,858 I am the mercy killer. Ha! 537 00:25:22,301 --> 00:25:23,829 What in the MacGuffin is that? 538 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:26,866 That's a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson. 539 00:25:26,867 --> 00:25:27,965 An accelerant. 540 00:25:27,966 --> 00:25:30,738 Once completed, it will allow me to destroy 541 00:25:30,739 --> 00:25:33,141 the spacetime matrix of your universe. 542 00:25:33,142 --> 00:25:35,545 You see, I don't want to work for the TVA. 543 00:25:35,546 --> 00:25:36,776 I want to be the TVA. 544 00:25:36,777 --> 00:25:39,945 And the first step involves showing this organization 545 00:25:39,946 --> 00:25:41,897 how much more efficient it can become. 546 00:25:41,898 --> 00:25:43,850 To wit, I will be giving your universe 547 00:25:43,851 --> 00:25:45,950 a swift and compassionate end. 548 00:25:45,951 --> 00:25:47,457 And don't worry, your friends won't feel a thing. 549 00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:51,660 It'll be over just like this. "Oh, what's that?" 550 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,299 Trust me. 551 00:26:04,739 --> 00:26:07,544 You're gonna Old Yeller my fucking universe? 552 00:26:07,545 --> 00:26:09,545 Mm... In your parlance, yes. 553 00:26:09,546 --> 00:26:10,876 Two in the heart, one in the head. 554 00:26:10,877 --> 00:26:12,746 Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices. 555 00:26:12,747 --> 00:26:14,814 You can either rejoin your loved ones 556 00:26:14,815 --> 00:26:16,883 and collectively cease to exist in, 557 00:26:16,884 --> 00:26:19,786 I'd say, 72 hours. Or... 558 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:22,052 you join the Sacred Timeline. 559 00:26:22,053 --> 00:26:25,056 And you end your days of insignificance 560 00:26:25,057 --> 00:26:27,432 and mediocrity. 561 00:26:27,433 --> 00:26:28,762 Wade. 562 00:26:28,763 --> 00:26:30,831 Wade, you can finally, 563 00:26:30,832 --> 00:26:33,900 finally matter. 564 00:26:42,546 --> 00:26:45,285 That's all I've ever really wanted. 565 00:26:45,286 --> 00:26:47,078 I know. 566 00:26:47,177 --> 00:26:48,452 I know. 567 00:26:48,453 --> 00:26:50,950 And you know I'm... I'm nothing if not 568 00:26:50,951 --> 00:26:53,084 morally flexible. 569 00:26:55,020 --> 00:26:56,725 Yep, yep. 570 00:26:58,188 --> 00:26:59,122 I'll do it. 571 00:26:59,123 --> 00:27:00,057 Wise choice. 572 00:27:00,058 --> 00:27:01,531 The Sacred Timeline's happy to have you. 573 00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:03,682 I was actually talking about finding 574 00:27:03,683 --> 00:27:05,833 the Wolverine and breaking your fucking nose. 575 00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,847 Find him. Find him! 576 00:27:20,848 --> 00:27:23,455 And boy, did he ever. 577 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,151 Which brings us back to this. 578 00:27:27,921 --> 00:27:30,054 The desecration of the sacred corpse. 579 00:27:34,763 --> 00:27:37,194 Oh, my God! 580 00:27:37,535 --> 00:27:40,637 Oh! My own fucking arm! 581 00:27:43,101 --> 00:27:45,136 Now we're talkin'! 582 00:27:45,137 --> 00:27:46,808 Not like this! 583 00:27:46,809 --> 00:27:48,446 No, dear God! No! 584 00:27:48,447 --> 00:27:51,043 I'm sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard! 585 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:52,429 Make it stop! 586 00:27:52,430 --> 00:27:53,815 Mangold tried. 587 00:27:56,686 --> 00:27:58,236 You sick fuck! 588 00:27:58,237 --> 00:27:59,787 Logan was a hero. 589 00:27:59,788 --> 00:28:01,559 And the only thing worth a shit 590 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,594 to ever come out of Canada. 591 00:28:10,502 --> 00:28:12,966 Get my country's name 592 00:28:12,967 --> 00:28:15,936 out of your fuckin' mouth. 593 00:28:16,035 --> 00:28:18,708 And my sword. Give me that. 594 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,175 Oh, I gotta find me another Logan. 595 00:28:24,176 --> 00:28:24,977 An alive one. 596 00:28:24,978 --> 00:28:27,716 Don't get up, guys. I'll see myself out. 597 00:28:35,626 --> 00:28:37,056 Logan! 598 00:28:39,597 --> 00:28:42,369 I'm gonna need you to come with me. 599 00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:44,701 Who's asking? 600 00:28:45,570 --> 00:28:47,704 Oh, look at this little Hairy Lou Retton. 601 00:28:47,705 --> 00:28:50,641 Did you stick the landing, little guy? 602 00:28:50,642 --> 00:28:51,509 Yes, you did! 603 00:28:51,510 --> 00:28:53,544 Comic-accurate short king. 604 00:28:53,545 --> 00:28:55,227 Such a cute wittle Wolvie. 605 00:28:55,228 --> 00:28:56,910 Cue the fuckin' montage, baby. 606 00:28:56,911 --> 00:28:58,913 Ahoy! 607 00:28:58,914 --> 00:29:01,487 Everything seems to be on fire. 608 00:29:01,488 --> 00:29:02,586 You have a dragon? 609 00:29:02,587 --> 00:29:05,887 Ooh, you have Anchor Being written all over... 610 00:29:15,733 --> 00:29:16,226 Patch! 611 00:29:16,227 --> 00:29:20,407 Oh, now we're talkin'. 612 00:29:20,605 --> 00:29:21,704 Oh, yeah. 613 00:29:21,705 --> 00:29:24,972 That's the whole goddamn package right there. 614 00:29:25,544 --> 00:29:26,038 Howdy! 615 00:29:26,039 --> 00:29:29,190 I'm just... I'm auditioning Anchor Beings. 616 00:29:29,191 --> 00:29:32,342 Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need some coconut oil. 617 00:29:36,451 --> 00:29:38,149 What in the fuck? 618 00:29:38,150 --> 00:29:40,493 Are you okay? 619 00:29:40,494 --> 00:29:41,119 Oh, yes, yes. 620 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,890 Classic John Byrne brown and tan. 621 00:29:42,891 --> 00:29:44,992 Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit. No? 622 00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,997 I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, 623 00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:50,733 and I will not... 624 00:29:59,941 --> 00:30:04,176 It's not you. We're just going in a different direction. 625 00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:07,486 You know, from behind, 626 00:30:07,487 --> 00:30:08,768 you look a little bit like Henry... 627 00:30:08,769 --> 00:30:10,960 Oh, my fuck! 628 00:30:10,961 --> 00:30:13,151 The Cavillrine. The legends are true. 629 00:30:13,152 --> 00:30:16,727 And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, 630 00:30:16,728 --> 00:30:18,464 this just feels right. 631 00:30:18,465 --> 00:30:19,861 We will treat you so much better 632 00:30:19,862 --> 00:30:21,159 than those shit fucks down the street. 633 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,629 - You were just leavin'. - No, sir. 634 00:30:23,630 --> 00:30:26,099 Not while the fate of my universe is at... 635 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,841 This one looks promising. 636 00:30:31,842 --> 00:30:33,678 Down you go. 637 00:30:34,547 --> 00:30:35,943 Again. 638 00:30:35,944 --> 00:30:38,441 I told you. You're not welcome here. 639 00:30:38,442 --> 00:30:39,612 You're not welcome anywhere. 640 00:30:39,613 --> 00:30:40,783 Now get the fuck out of my bar. 641 00:30:40,784 --> 00:30:43,655 Just give me one more drink and then I'll leave. 642 00:30:43,656 --> 00:30:45,447 That's not how it works. 643 00:30:45,448 --> 00:30:48,253 It does now. Leave the bottle. 644 00:30:48,254 --> 00:30:49,187 I know you, bub? 645 00:30:49,188 --> 00:30:51,574 Nope. But I know you. 646 00:30:51,575 --> 00:30:53,962 Everybody knows me. 647 00:30:54,798 --> 00:30:56,030 I'm the Wolverine. 648 00:30:56,031 --> 00:30:57,734 Yes, you are. 649 00:30:57,735 --> 00:31:01,101 And I'm gonna need you to come with me right now. 650 00:31:01,431 --> 00:31:03,036 Look, lady, I'm not interested. 651 00:31:03,037 --> 00:31:04,643 Really gettin' into your cups here. 652 00:31:04,644 --> 00:31:06,843 Why would I go with you? 653 00:31:07,140 --> 00:31:09,175 Because, unfortunately, 654 00:31:09,176 --> 00:31:09,779 I need you, 655 00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:15,016 and even more unfortunately, my entire world needs you. 656 00:31:15,017 --> 00:31:17,381 You two gonna fuck or fight? 657 00:31:20,527 --> 00:31:22,089 You gonna take that from him? 658 00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:23,155 Yep. 659 00:31:23,156 --> 00:31:25,455 I can tell you have a sort of don't-get-too-close- 660 00:31:25,456 --> 00:31:27,600 I'll-only-break-your-heart vibe going here, 661 00:31:27,601 --> 00:31:28,567 but every other Wolverine 662 00:31:28,568 --> 00:31:29,717 would've really hurt me by now. 663 00:31:29,718 --> 00:31:30,866 And I'm sort of on the tick-tick. 664 00:31:30,867 --> 00:31:32,671 - So, upsy-daisy. Here we go. - Whoa, whoa. 665 00:31:32,672 --> 00:31:33,903 - Up you go. - Hey, hey! 666 00:31:33,904 --> 00:31:35,773 I got you, big guy. 667 00:31:36,675 --> 00:31:38,072 Oh. 668 00:31:38,743 --> 00:31:39,611 Whiskey dick of the claws. 669 00:31:39,612 --> 00:31:41,647 It's quite common in Wolverines over 40. 670 00:31:41,648 --> 00:31:42,372 You don't want this. 671 00:31:42,373 --> 00:31:45,046 You're right. I don't. And you don't want this. 672 00:31:45,047 --> 00:31:46,784 Unless you wanna take a deep breath 673 00:31:46,785 --> 00:31:48,082 through your fuckin' forehead, 674 00:31:48,083 --> 00:31:50,447 I suggest you reconsider. 675 00:31:50,448 --> 00:31:52,152 Let's go, peanut. 676 00:31:55,826 --> 00:31:58,631 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 677 00:31:58,632 --> 00:32:00,160 Watch this. 678 00:32:00,490 --> 00:32:03,163 All right. That... Whoa. 679 00:32:03,164 --> 00:32:04,802 Easy. 680 00:32:07,838 --> 00:32:08,805 Good God. 681 00:32:08,806 --> 00:32:11,908 Thirsty little honey badger, aren't ya? 682 00:32:12,139 --> 00:32:13,502 It's okay. Keep goin'. 683 00:32:13,503 --> 00:32:16,682 Audiences are accustomed to long run times. 684 00:32:21,181 --> 00:32:23,920 Guess you'll have to do. 685 00:32:23,921 --> 00:32:25,658 Okay, here we... 686 00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:28,660 Oh! Look at those jammies. 687 00:32:28,661 --> 00:32:31,608 That only took 20 fucking years. 688 00:32:31,609 --> 00:32:34,557 One Anchor Being coming right up! 689 00:32:34,558 --> 00:32:36,080 On your left, baby girl. 690 00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:37,603 This Logan has the same 691 00:32:37,604 --> 00:32:39,820 he-can-do-anything- even-musicals look. 692 00:32:39,821 --> 00:32:42,037 And bonus, he's actually wearing a costume 693 00:32:42,038 --> 00:32:43,538 like he's not embarrassed to be 694 00:32:43,539 --> 00:32:45,040 in a superhero movie for once. 695 00:32:45,041 --> 00:32:46,535 I don't understand. 696 00:32:46,536 --> 00:32:47,437 You said my universe is dying 697 00:32:47,438 --> 00:32:49,946 because this sack of nuts got himself killed. 698 00:32:49,947 --> 00:32:52,508 - Well, problem solved. - My God. 699 00:32:52,509 --> 00:32:57,690 You actually think you can replace an Anchor Being 700 00:32:57,691 --> 00:32:58,822 with this? 701 00:32:58,823 --> 00:33:01,958 I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, BT dubs. 702 00:33:01,959 --> 00:33:03,794 But you have outdone yourself 703 00:33:03,795 --> 00:33:05,780 and brought me the worst Wolverine! 704 00:33:05,781 --> 00:33:07,766 What do you mean, the worst one? 705 00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:08,700 Mr. Wilson. 706 00:33:08,701 --> 00:33:12,594 This Wolverine let down his entire world. 707 00:33:12,595 --> 00:33:15,675 He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. 708 00:33:15,676 --> 00:33:17,039 And what he did, 709 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:17,742 well, 710 00:33:17,743 --> 00:33:21,175 some things are just beyond forgiveness. 711 00:33:23,045 --> 00:33:23,539 Okay. 712 00:33:23,540 --> 00:33:26,785 How do I... How do I make this right? I'll do anything. 713 00:33:26,786 --> 00:33:29,611 I gave you a chance at greatness. 714 00:33:29,612 --> 00:33:32,450 Because my superiors deemed you "special." 715 00:33:32,451 --> 00:33:34,254 Clearly not special in a good way. 716 00:33:34,255 --> 00:33:35,023 Apparently you have some 717 00:33:35,024 --> 00:33:37,521 important future purpose to serve. 718 00:33:37,522 --> 00:33:38,665 With Thor. He holds me. 719 00:33:38,666 --> 00:33:40,028 But I did my duty. 720 00:33:40,029 --> 00:33:42,196 I gave you the opportunity to be somebody. 721 00:33:42,197 --> 00:33:43,966 And instead of accepting my offering 722 00:33:43,967 --> 00:33:47,036 with humility and gratitude, you broke my nose. 723 00:33:47,037 --> 00:33:47,772 It looks great. 724 00:33:47,773 --> 00:33:49,439 And you decimated dozens of my men 725 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,105 with the exhumed corpse of a hero. 726 00:33:51,106 --> 00:33:53,944 Dishonoring not only his remains but his memory. 727 00:33:53,945 --> 00:33:55,440 What are you, the Internet? 728 00:33:55,441 --> 00:33:57,211 Your world is dying! 729 00:33:57,212 --> 00:33:58,981 Thank you very much. 730 00:33:58,982 --> 00:34:01,083 And there's no stopping it. 731 00:34:02,117 --> 00:34:04,185 The humane thing to do 732 00:34:04,186 --> 00:34:04,921 is to make it quick. 733 00:34:04,922 --> 00:34:07,221 Is the thought of vaporizing my universe 734 00:34:07,222 --> 00:34:08,238 making you peckish? 735 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,255 I'm eating my feelings. 736 00:34:09,256 --> 00:34:10,697 I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about 737 00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:14,591 because that hairy thundercunt from down undercunt 738 00:34:14,592 --> 00:34:15,228 finally dies, 739 00:34:15,229 --> 00:34:17,770 and he's standing right behind me, isn't he? 740 00:34:17,771 --> 00:34:19,771 Welcome to the MCU, by the way. 741 00:34:19,772 --> 00:34:21,889 You're joining at a bit of a low point. 742 00:34:21,890 --> 00:34:23,679 As for you, I wanna talk to your boss. 743 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,592 I want you to get him on the phone 744 00:34:25,593 --> 00:34:27,504 and you tell him, her, or them, 745 00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:30,816 that Marvel H. Christ isn't playing. 746 00:34:35,612 --> 00:34:37,118 Holy shit. 747 00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:38,724 I just heard a symphony 748 00:34:38,725 --> 00:34:41,189 of buttholes clenching all at once. 749 00:34:41,190 --> 00:34:41,793 You're off grid. 750 00:34:41,794 --> 00:34:43,653 Your bosses don't know what you sick fucks 751 00:34:43,654 --> 00:34:44,620 are doing down here. 752 00:34:44,621 --> 00:34:45,555 Well, I'll tell you what. 753 00:34:45,556 --> 00:34:47,767 I have a black belt in Karen... 754 00:34:47,768 --> 00:34:48,690 And I'm gonna go upstairs 755 00:34:48,691 --> 00:34:52,134 and I'm gonna tell 'em all about you and your... 756 00:34:52,135 --> 00:34:54,037 Oh, silence is nice, isn't it? 757 00:34:54,038 --> 00:34:54,872 Where the fuck did he go? 758 00:34:54,873 --> 00:34:57,535 To the trash heap. You'll fit right in. 759 00:34:58,839 --> 00:35:00,141 Whew. 760 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:02,375 That was close. 761 00:35:21,966 --> 00:35:25,134 Don't just stand there, you ape. 762 00:35:25,135 --> 00:35:26,772 Give me a hand up. 763 00:35:26,773 --> 00:35:28,433 Nope. I'm actually okay. 764 00:35:28,434 --> 00:35:31,943 Thank you very much. 765 00:35:31,944 --> 00:35:33,042 Where the hell are we? 766 00:35:33,043 --> 00:35:35,540 I don't know. Looks kind of Mad Max-y. 767 00:35:35,541 --> 00:35:38,114 But that would be IP infringement, right? 768 00:35:38,115 --> 00:35:39,015 Fucking jokes. 769 00:35:42,712 --> 00:35:43,855 Fuck! Fuck. 770 00:35:43,856 --> 00:35:45,087 Were you even listening back there? 771 00:35:45,088 --> 00:35:48,520 If we don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole, 772 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:50,060 everyone I know is gonna die. 773 00:35:50,061 --> 00:35:51,743 Not my fuckin' problem. 774 00:35:51,744 --> 00:35:53,425 Oh, is that all you got? 775 00:35:53,426 --> 00:35:56,803 Is that what you said when your world went to shit? 776 00:35:56,804 --> 00:35:59,118 Come again? 777 00:35:59,119 --> 00:36:01,359 Yeah, I heard all about you. 778 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,601 How you screwed up everything. 779 00:36:03,602 --> 00:36:04,436 You should be thankin' me 780 00:36:04,437 --> 00:36:06,790 for pulling you out of that bed you shit in. 781 00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:09,145 You back-stabbing son of a bitch! 782 00:36:14,711 --> 00:36:16,784 Are you ready to be calm now? 783 00:36:23,192 --> 00:36:24,995 Rest in pieces, Fox. 784 00:36:40,209 --> 00:36:42,981 I don't want to fight you, peanut. 785 00:36:43,146 --> 00:36:44,773 Doesn't matter what you did. 786 00:36:44,774 --> 00:36:47,414 I just need your help. 787 00:36:47,986 --> 00:36:50,351 I don't fuckin' care. 788 00:36:51,055 --> 00:36:52,957 Uh... Uh-oh. 789 00:36:58,194 --> 00:37:01,626 Fuck. This is gonna hurt. 790 00:37:05,069 --> 00:37:06,399 All right. 791 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,730 Fuck it. 792 00:37:07,731 --> 00:37:10,651 Let's give the people what they came for. 793 00:37:10,652 --> 00:37:13,572 Let's fuckin' go. 794 00:37:13,573 --> 00:37:16,047 Get your special sock out, nerds. 795 00:37:16,048 --> 00:37:18,775 It's gonna get good. 796 00:38:07,726 --> 00:38:10,728 Ew. 797 00:38:11,168 --> 00:38:11,629 Gotcha! 798 00:38:18,407 --> 00:38:20,804 Baby Knife! 799 00:38:23,609 --> 00:38:25,083 Let's see you grow 800 00:38:25,084 --> 00:38:25,808 your fuckin' head back. 801 00:38:25,809 --> 00:38:28,399 Wait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it. 802 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,990 - Fix what? - Whatever it is that you did. 803 00:38:30,991 --> 00:38:33,091 Whatever made you so bad. 804 00:38:33,092 --> 00:38:34,091 Those... Those 805 00:38:34,092 --> 00:38:37,523 pricks in the TVA. You heard him. 806 00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:38,722 They have the power to end my universe, 807 00:38:38,723 --> 00:38:43,266 but they also have the power to change yours. 808 00:38:43,629 --> 00:38:47,600 We get back there, and we can fix your world. 809 00:38:47,601 --> 00:38:49,272 Together. 810 00:38:50,042 --> 00:38:51,802 I promise. 811 00:38:52,671 --> 00:38:54,409 They can fix it. 812 00:38:55,014 --> 00:38:56,014 Hey! 813 00:38:56,015 --> 00:38:57,763 We fight each other, we lose. 814 00:38:57,764 --> 00:38:59,672 Dear God, it's him. 815 00:38:59,673 --> 00:39:01,580 - Who? - The one. 816 00:39:01,581 --> 00:39:04,518 The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or Molly. 817 00:39:04,519 --> 00:39:07,719 White guys' answer to all the disappointments. 818 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,786 And another A-lister. 819 00:39:08,787 --> 00:39:09,852 Fair warning, gorgeous. 820 00:39:09,853 --> 00:39:12,426 You're going to encounter some indelicate language, 821 00:39:12,427 --> 00:39:15,001 a smidge of ass play, but we've been prohibited 822 00:39:15,002 --> 00:39:16,529 from using cocaine. On camera. 823 00:39:16,530 --> 00:39:19,450 - They're coming. - Who's "they"? 824 00:39:25,869 --> 00:39:28,179 Oh, they're driving angry. 825 00:39:33,217 --> 00:39:35,669 Now that's a superhero landing. 826 00:39:42,524 --> 00:39:43,391 I got this. 827 00:40:07,449 --> 00:40:08,449 Stay close. 828 00:40:08,450 --> 00:40:10,386 Aye, aye, Cap'n. 829 00:40:11,123 --> 00:40:12,883 You got this. 830 00:40:13,521 --> 00:40:18,691 Cassandra is gonna be giddy when she sees what we caught. 831 00:40:18,955 --> 00:40:19,922 You can't run. 832 00:40:19,923 --> 00:40:20,857 Everybody knows that. 833 00:40:20,858 --> 00:40:23,178 You see anyone runnin', dick for brains? 834 00:40:23,179 --> 00:40:25,499 You're not gonna love what happens next. 835 00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:27,865 Oh. Oh, my God. 836 00:40:27,866 --> 00:40:30,538 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's gonna say it. 837 00:40:30,539 --> 00:40:31,770 - Ah! Fuck. - Ha! 838 00:40:31,771 --> 00:40:33,001 Oh, my God! He's gonna say it! 839 00:40:33,002 --> 00:40:35,108 - Say what? - Avengers, assemble... 840 00:40:35,109 --> 00:40:37,215 - Flame on! - I'm sorry, what now? 841 00:40:58,501 --> 00:41:00,106 Ohh! 842 00:41:00,107 --> 00:41:01,503 Fuck! 843 00:41:01,504 --> 00:41:02,900 Ahhh! 844 00:41:04,539 --> 00:41:07,641 - We don't know that guy. - We thought we did. 845 00:41:07,642 --> 00:41:09,114 I know you. 846 00:41:09,115 --> 00:41:12,316 Holy sh... 847 00:41:13,713 --> 00:41:15,181 Sabretooth. 848 00:41:15,182 --> 00:41:16,650 Your brother. 849 00:41:16,815 --> 00:41:17,914 Ready to die? 850 00:41:17,915 --> 00:41:21,787 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time! 851 00:41:21,788 --> 00:41:22,985 You look ridiculous. 852 00:41:22,986 --> 00:41:25,758 People have waited decades for this fight. 853 00:41:25,759 --> 00:41:27,760 It's not gonna be easy. Baby Knife. 854 00:41:27,761 --> 00:41:29,762 Shoot the double, you take him down. 855 00:41:29,763 --> 00:41:32,061 Side control, then full mount, 856 00:41:32,062 --> 00:41:32,995 and you ground and pound 857 00:41:32,996 --> 00:41:34,948 till he makes no sound because he's dead. 858 00:41:34,949 --> 00:41:36,901 - Shut the fuck up! - Oh, my God! 859 00:41:36,902 --> 00:41:39,640 Okay. Good luck. I'm a huge fan. 860 00:41:51,157 --> 00:41:52,586 What is it, girl? 861 00:41:52,587 --> 00:41:55,788 Is there trouble at the well? 862 00:41:59,891 --> 00:42:01,893 Big trouble. 863 00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:03,058 Behold! 864 00:42:03,059 --> 00:42:06,832 The head of your precious queen, 865 00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,240 Furiosa! 866 00:42:08,669 --> 00:42:11,286 I have the Wolverine! 867 00:42:11,287 --> 00:42:13,712 I alone control her! 868 00:42:13,713 --> 00:42:16,498 You come for me, 869 00:42:16,499 --> 00:42:19,284 you come for her. 870 00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,967 So sorry. I know it's pronounced "him." 871 00:42:21,968 --> 00:42:24,190 I'm gender blind. It's my cross to bear. 872 00:42:24,191 --> 00:42:25,520 Who's next? 873 00:42:25,521 --> 00:42:26,852 Toad! 874 00:42:26,853 --> 00:42:28,656 You're up. 875 00:42:34,992 --> 00:42:35,893 Uh-oh. 876 00:42:35,894 --> 00:42:37,665 - Oh, holy sh... - Fuck. 877 00:42:48,473 --> 00:42:50,909 God of Thunder. 878 00:42:54,011 --> 00:42:55,479 How long was I asleep? 879 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,947 Not all of you was asleep. 880 00:42:56,948 --> 00:42:58,884 Don't bother. 881 00:42:58,885 --> 00:43:00,819 They're very thorough. 882 00:43:00,820 --> 00:43:04,054 If you know where we are, start talking. 883 00:43:04,055 --> 00:43:05,659 You're in The Void. 884 00:43:05,660 --> 00:43:07,496 Think of it as purgatory. 885 00:43:07,497 --> 00:43:10,093 Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard. 886 00:43:10,094 --> 00:43:11,467 Where anything useless goes 887 00:43:11,468 --> 00:43:13,469 before it gets annihilated forever. 888 00:43:13,470 --> 00:43:16,605 And where the TVA sends people that don't play nice 889 00:43:16,606 --> 00:43:18,035 with the rest of the multiverse. 890 00:43:18,036 --> 00:43:19,442 - Like you? - And you. 891 00:43:19,443 --> 00:43:22,039 What does the annihilating? 892 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:22,610 Alioth. 893 00:43:22,611 --> 00:43:24,310 Alioth is in this thing? 894 00:43:24,311 --> 00:43:26,009 From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5? 895 00:43:26,010 --> 00:43:29,178 Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. 896 00:43:29,179 --> 00:43:30,717 Most don't make it. 897 00:43:30,718 --> 00:43:32,488 There's a resistance, though. 898 00:43:32,489 --> 00:43:35,591 Other people like us that managed to survive. 899 00:43:35,592 --> 00:43:37,741 They're hidin' out in the borderlands, 900 00:43:37,742 --> 00:43:39,892 trying to find a way the fuck outta here. 901 00:43:39,893 --> 00:43:41,443 Then that's where we go. 902 00:43:41,444 --> 00:43:43,687 "We"? Us? A team? 903 00:43:43,688 --> 00:43:45,931 The answer is yes. Shake on it. 904 00:43:45,932 --> 00:43:46,700 Fuck! You nicked it. 905 00:43:46,701 --> 00:43:49,087 Just got the tip with your little steak knife. 906 00:43:49,088 --> 00:43:51,475 These "others" can help us get back to the TVA. 907 00:43:51,476 --> 00:43:53,092 Make 'em fix things. 908 00:43:54,451 --> 00:43:55,808 Something funny, bub? 909 00:43:55,809 --> 00:43:58,174 She might have somethin' to say about that. 910 00:43:58,175 --> 00:43:59,978 Who's "she"? 911 00:44:00,715 --> 00:44:01,649 In The Void, 912 00:44:01,650 --> 00:44:04,180 you're either food for Alioth 913 00:44:04,181 --> 00:44:06,016 or you work for her. 914 00:45:18,155 --> 00:45:20,508 Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged. 915 00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:22,736 Oh, you must be this year's Juggernaut. 916 00:45:22,737 --> 00:45:24,964 - Thank you. - I'd keep your voices down. 917 00:45:24,965 --> 00:45:26,504 She don't like the chatter. 918 00:45:26,505 --> 00:45:28,407 She's gonna love you. 919 00:45:43,455 --> 00:45:45,490 Is it... Is that Charles? 920 00:45:45,491 --> 00:45:47,921 Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us! 921 00:45:47,922 --> 00:45:49,428 That's not Chuck. 922 00:45:49,429 --> 00:45:51,122 Ah, shit. 923 00:45:51,661 --> 00:45:52,694 Oh, ableism. Great. 924 00:45:52,695 --> 00:45:55,995 That's not gonna go over well with the woke mob. 925 00:45:55,996 --> 00:45:57,600 A Wolverine. 926 00:45:57,601 --> 00:46:00,967 I wondered when I'd get one of you. 927 00:46:00,968 --> 00:46:01,769 You're one of Xavier's. 928 00:46:01,770 --> 00:46:04,069 You-You know him? You know Chuck? 929 00:46:04,070 --> 00:46:05,240 Oh, I knew him. 930 00:46:05,241 --> 00:46:06,411 We shared a womb. 931 00:46:06,412 --> 00:46:09,074 Tried to strangle the sly little fellow 932 00:46:09,075 --> 00:46:09,810 with my umbilical cord. 933 00:46:09,811 --> 00:46:13,881 Amen. I've never loved roommates. Mine's blind. 934 00:46:13,882 --> 00:46:15,718 Except she can see cocaine. 935 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:16,520 For some... reason. 936 00:46:16,521 --> 00:46:20,492 You want to chime in, Your Majesty? I'm dying here. 937 00:46:20,493 --> 00:46:21,085 Who are you? 938 00:46:21,086 --> 00:46:23,555 Charles Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova. 939 00:46:23,556 --> 00:46:26,025 - Bullshit! - I was an anal birth. 940 00:46:26,026 --> 00:46:28,466 Hmm. You two are cute. 941 00:46:28,467 --> 00:46:31,030 I have a good feeling about this. 942 00:46:33,032 --> 00:46:35,050 And I've been trying to catch 943 00:46:35,051 --> 00:46:37,069 this little firefly for years. 944 00:46:37,070 --> 00:46:38,135 Haven't I, Johnny? 945 00:46:38,136 --> 00:46:41,678 Aw... You picked the wrong time to make new friends. 946 00:46:41,679 --> 00:46:43,746 Oh, Johnny told us all about you. 947 00:46:43,747 --> 00:46:45,814 - Maybe shut up now. - Yeah, maybe don't... 948 00:46:45,815 --> 00:46:47,211 We're just talkin' here. 949 00:46:47,212 --> 00:46:47,947 Yeah, Johnny told us 950 00:46:47,948 --> 00:46:49,784 you're a psychotic megalomaniacal asshole. 951 00:46:49,785 --> 00:46:54,889 His words, not mine. Hellbent on domination and pain. 952 00:46:55,054 --> 00:46:56,825 You said all that about me? 953 00:46:56,826 --> 00:46:57,825 No! No! I don't... 954 00:46:57,826 --> 00:47:01,390 - I didn't say any of that! - Sticks and stones, Johnny! 955 00:47:02,061 --> 00:47:03,930 Don't let her intimidate you. 956 00:47:03,931 --> 00:47:05,800 It's like you said in the convoy. 957 00:47:05,801 --> 00:47:07,670 This finger-lickin' dead-inside 958 00:47:07,671 --> 00:47:10,674 pixie slab of third rate dime-store nut-milk 959 00:47:10,675 --> 00:47:12,659 can eat your delicious cinnamon ring 960 00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:14,620 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 961 00:47:14,621 --> 00:47:16,580 Okay. I have never said any of those words 962 00:47:16,581 --> 00:47:19,045 - in my entire life! - Ha! The modesty. 963 00:47:19,046 --> 00:47:21,520 People think I'm a shit talker. 964 00:47:21,521 --> 00:47:22,487 But this guy... 965 00:47:22,488 --> 00:47:23,934 Next level. 966 00:47:23,935 --> 00:47:25,380 What? This... I... We... 967 00:47:25,381 --> 00:47:27,118 I don't even know what half of that means! 968 00:47:27,119 --> 00:47:28,857 - This... I... - My hat's off to you, sir. 969 00:47:28,858 --> 00:47:29,725 - Truly. - What? This... 970 00:47:29,726 --> 00:47:32,124 I didn't... He's... That's... I... 971 00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:33,388 I... I don't... 972 00:47:38,361 --> 00:47:39,736 Not my favorite Chris. 973 00:47:39,737 --> 00:47:40,967 You stupid piece of shit. 974 00:47:40,968 --> 00:47:42,304 You just got him fucking killed! 975 00:47:42,305 --> 00:47:43,640 Hey! We're all grieving! 976 00:47:43,641 --> 00:47:46,710 PS, do you know what he was doing to the budget? 977 00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:51,142 Alioth is hungry. 978 00:47:51,143 --> 00:47:52,980 There's been some kind of mistake. 979 00:47:52,981 --> 00:47:54,849 Big yellow is a back-up Anchor Being, 980 00:47:54,850 --> 00:47:57,919 and I'm Marvel Jesus. MJ, if you're nasty. 981 00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,754 This may be hard to hear, 982 00:47:58,755 --> 00:48:00,355 but there's another British villain 983 00:48:00,356 --> 00:48:01,956 who's gonna destroy my universe, 984 00:48:01,957 --> 00:48:02,725 and I'm gonna stop him. 985 00:48:02,726 --> 00:48:04,563 Oh, honey, you don't really strike me 986 00:48:04,564 --> 00:48:06,927 as the world-saving type. 987 00:48:08,700 --> 00:48:09,996 Did I hit a nerve? 988 00:48:09,997 --> 00:48:12,901 I didn't want it to come to this. 989 00:48:12,902 --> 00:48:13,604 Either you help us 990 00:48:13,605 --> 00:48:15,386 or my friend here is gonna sing 991 00:48:15,387 --> 00:48:17,169 the entire second act of Music Man 992 00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:18,972 with zero warm-up. 993 00:48:18,973 --> 00:48:20,006 Where'd you get the chair? 994 00:48:20,007 --> 00:48:21,107 Well, once in a while, 995 00:48:21,108 --> 00:48:23,505 I do get a Charles through here. 996 00:48:23,506 --> 00:48:24,780 Never mine, though. 997 00:48:24,781 --> 00:48:27,585 No. He didn't care to find me. 998 00:48:27,586 --> 00:48:30,984 Gen Z and their trauma-bragging! 999 00:48:30,985 --> 00:48:34,560 Can't you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment 1000 00:48:34,561 --> 00:48:36,325 or cancer like the rest of us? 1001 00:48:36,326 --> 00:48:38,091 But I'm not like the rest of you. 1002 00:48:38,092 --> 00:48:39,696 Except maybe the Wolverine. 1003 00:48:39,697 --> 00:48:42,832 Now, we could be truly terrifying together. 1004 00:48:42,833 --> 00:48:43,997 You're that scary, huh? 1005 00:48:43,998 --> 00:48:46,065 The TVA certainly thought so. 1006 00:48:46,066 --> 00:48:48,805 They sent me here before I could walk. 1007 00:48:48,806 --> 00:48:50,576 And you know, it's the best thing 1008 00:48:50,577 --> 00:48:52,611 that ever happened to me. 1009 00:48:52,612 --> 00:48:53,204 I love it here. 1010 00:48:53,205 --> 00:48:54,370 You live in a garbage dump. 1011 00:48:54,371 --> 00:48:58,144 I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. 1012 00:48:58,145 --> 00:48:59,617 The Void is a paradise. 1013 00:48:59,618 --> 00:49:02,884 I can wield my power here without shame. 1014 00:49:02,885 --> 00:49:06,152 Unfortunately I had no Charles Xavier 1015 00:49:06,153 --> 00:49:08,154 to teach me temperance. 1016 00:49:08,155 --> 00:49:10,156 What about your Charles? 1017 00:49:10,157 --> 00:49:11,992 Did he protect you? 1018 00:49:11,993 --> 00:49:13,994 Did he make you feel safe? 1019 00:49:13,995 --> 00:49:16,563 We're mutants. We're never safe. 1020 00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:25,072 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1021 00:49:25,073 --> 00:49:26,557 I don't... I don't want the smoke. 1022 00:49:26,558 --> 00:49:28,218 I don't have any beef with you. 1023 00:49:28,219 --> 00:49:29,516 I just want to save my friends. 1024 00:49:29,517 --> 00:49:30,813 I just... I want to go home. 1025 00:49:30,814 --> 00:49:32,981 Well, the thing is, I could get you home. 1026 00:49:32,982 --> 00:49:35,450 - Good. - But I don't want to. 1027 00:49:35,451 --> 00:49:37,920 Not good. 1028 00:49:39,482 --> 00:49:41,582 What do you want, Wade Wilson? 1029 00:49:41,583 --> 00:49:44,729 Your... fingers are inside me, 1030 00:49:44,730 --> 00:49:45,487 but not in a good way. 1031 00:49:45,488 --> 00:49:48,832 My brother could enter one's mind with a thought. 1032 00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:50,998 I have to get my hands dirty. 1033 00:49:54,464 --> 00:49:56,301 I've got you. 1034 00:49:57,808 --> 00:50:00,041 I've got you... 1035 00:50:01,405 --> 00:50:03,682 What do you mean? 1036 00:50:04,078 --> 00:50:07,653 I can't... I can't reach you. You're not here. 1037 00:50:07,654 --> 00:50:08,686 I'm right here. 1038 00:50:08,687 --> 00:50:11,855 - No, you're not. I can't... - I'm right here. 1039 00:50:11,856 --> 00:50:15,089 Then show me. You got to do something. 1040 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:16,518 Show you what? 1041 00:50:16,519 --> 00:50:21,039 Show me you care about something bigger than you. 1042 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:25,561 Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee. 1043 00:50:25,562 --> 00:50:28,333 Baby, you never got back up. 1044 00:50:29,466 --> 00:50:31,567 I know you're going through something. 1045 00:50:31,568 --> 00:50:33,843 Let me go through it with you. 1046 00:50:33,844 --> 00:50:37,716 - Your crazy matches my crazy. - Your crazy matches my crazy. 1047 00:50:40,279 --> 00:50:42,231 Where'd you go? 1048 00:50:42,232 --> 00:50:44,184 Oh, my God. 1049 00:50:46,484 --> 00:50:48,188 You just say it. Okay? 1050 00:50:48,189 --> 00:50:49,892 Say, "I don't want you. 1051 00:50:49,893 --> 00:50:51,828 "I don't want to be with you." 1052 00:50:51,829 --> 00:50:53,589 Go ahead. Say it. Say... Say, "I don't..." 1053 00:50:53,590 --> 00:50:55,178 Say it. You don't wanna be with me. 1054 00:50:55,179 --> 00:50:56,768 Tell me that and I'll walk away. 1055 00:50:56,769 --> 00:50:57,658 Say, "I don't want you." 1056 00:51:04,237 --> 00:51:05,666 Fuck... 1057 00:51:05,667 --> 00:51:09,110 You'll never fucking matter. 1058 00:51:12,575 --> 00:51:13,641 What? 1059 00:51:13,642 --> 00:51:16,755 - You'll never fucking matter. - Fucking matter. 1060 00:51:22,321 --> 00:51:25,489 - You'll... - You'll... 1061 00:51:25,490 --> 00:51:27,073 - never... - never... 1062 00:51:27,074 --> 00:51:29,702 - fucking... - fucking... 1063 00:51:29,703 --> 00:51:32,331 - matter. - matter... 1064 00:51:33,398 --> 00:51:34,602 She never said that. 1065 00:51:34,603 --> 00:51:35,806 No. 1066 00:51:35,807 --> 00:51:38,172 But I bet she thought it. 1067 00:51:38,909 --> 00:51:40,993 You are so mean! 1068 00:51:40,994 --> 00:51:43,078 My brain could taste your fingers, 1069 00:51:43,079 --> 00:51:44,749 and they tasted like hate! 1070 00:51:44,750 --> 00:51:47,951 And where in God's name is the intimacy coordinator? 1071 00:51:47,952 --> 00:51:50,970 You're so lost, Mr. Wilson. 1072 00:51:50,971 --> 00:51:53,990 And long before you came here. 1073 00:51:54,716 --> 00:51:55,452 This is Baby Knife. 1074 00:51:55,453 --> 00:51:57,092 She's gonna fuck you in the face now. 1075 00:51:57,093 --> 00:51:57,861 If you want to kill me, 1076 00:51:57,862 --> 00:52:00,128 it's going to take more than a little blade. 1077 00:52:00,129 --> 00:52:01,656 How about six? 1078 00:52:01,657 --> 00:52:05,837 My boy's wicked strong. 1079 00:52:05,838 --> 00:52:07,564 That's my big boy. 1080 00:52:07,565 --> 00:52:09,236 Yes, you are. 1081 00:52:14,670 --> 00:52:15,978 Well, this has been fun. 1082 00:52:15,979 --> 00:52:18,575 But the big guy needs to eat, and the rent is due. 1083 00:52:22,447 --> 00:52:23,513 By the way, 1084 00:52:23,514 --> 00:52:25,021 you're the rent. 1085 00:52:43,633 --> 00:52:45,854 Come on! Fuck! 1086 00:52:45,855 --> 00:52:48,077 You comin' or what? 1087 00:52:48,078 --> 00:52:49,914 Coming! 1088 00:53:09,197 --> 00:53:09,966 What you thinkin' 'bout? 1089 00:53:09,967 --> 00:53:11,831 - Get the fuck off of me! - Shh, shh, shh. 1090 00:53:11,832 --> 00:53:13,696 - Almost done. - Almost done what? 1091 00:53:13,697 --> 00:53:15,907 Getting my knife out of your buttocks, 1092 00:53:15,908 --> 00:53:17,666 - pervert! - Aah! Fuck! 1093 00:53:17,667 --> 00:53:20,119 Get your mind out of my pants! 1094 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,573 - I'm telling Blake. - New rules. 1095 00:53:22,574 --> 00:53:23,177 I talk now. 1096 00:53:23,178 --> 00:53:24,949 That's gonna be very hard on the audience. 1097 00:53:24,950 --> 00:53:26,615 Shut the fuck up! 1098 00:53:26,616 --> 00:53:28,281 Let me fuckin' think. 1099 00:53:28,282 --> 00:53:31,318 Now we gotta get back to Paradox, right? 1100 00:53:32,814 --> 00:53:33,583 Right? 1101 00:53:33,584 --> 00:53:36,488 Je m'excuse. Am I allowed to speak now or... 1102 00:53:36,489 --> 00:53:39,392 Just nod, asshole. 1103 00:53:40,624 --> 00:53:41,129 Right. 1104 00:53:41,130 --> 00:53:42,515 Then we find the others that poor kid, Johnny, 1105 00:53:42,516 --> 00:53:43,902 was talking about before you got him killed! 1106 00:53:43,903 --> 00:53:45,365 "Poor kid." He's, like, 50! 1107 00:53:45,366 --> 00:53:46,883 Yeah, if there's a chance they know 1108 00:53:46,884 --> 00:53:48,808 how to get out of here, we find 'em. 1109 00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:50,733 And make those TVA fuckers fix my shit 1110 00:53:50,734 --> 00:53:52,284 like you fucking promised! 1111 00:53:52,285 --> 00:53:53,835 I smell quest. 1112 00:53:56,541 --> 00:53:58,114 I smell food. 1113 00:53:59,841 --> 00:54:04,923 So what made you finally wear an honest-to-God costume? 1114 00:54:05,385 --> 00:54:07,419 Mine's red so they can't see me bleed. 1115 00:54:07,420 --> 00:54:10,555 But I could see how yellow would be useful too. 1116 00:54:10,556 --> 00:54:12,788 Have you been checked for ADHD? 1117 00:54:12,789 --> 00:54:13,755 Mm-mm. 1118 00:54:13,756 --> 00:54:15,691 But I've had several STDs, 1119 00:54:15,692 --> 00:54:18,431 which were probably caused by ADHD. 1120 00:54:18,432 --> 00:54:19,938 Fuck! 1121 00:54:20,070 --> 00:54:22,006 What are you looking for? 1122 00:54:22,007 --> 00:54:23,974 Oh. Thank fuck. 1123 00:54:23,975 --> 00:54:25,944 No, no, no, no, no. That's rubbing alcohol. 1124 00:54:25,945 --> 00:54:27,704 You don't want to drink... Oh, yeah. 1125 00:54:27,705 --> 00:54:29,838 There you go. Fuck that liver. 1126 00:54:30,674 --> 00:54:33,281 Good. Okay. 1127 00:54:33,644 --> 00:54:35,415 What the fuck are those? 1128 00:54:35,646 --> 00:54:36,118 Oh. 1129 00:54:36,119 --> 00:54:38,121 Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee, 1130 00:54:38,122 --> 00:54:40,156 but nobody knows. 1131 00:54:42,521 --> 00:54:44,655 Everybody knows. 1132 00:54:46,096 --> 00:54:47,459 Wanna talk about what's haunting you, 1133 00:54:47,460 --> 00:54:50,265 or should we wait for a third act flashback? 1134 00:54:50,266 --> 00:54:53,037 Ah... Go fuck yourself. 1135 00:54:55,765 --> 00:54:57,305 You know... 1136 00:54:57,833 --> 00:55:01,210 in my world, you're... 1137 00:55:01,738 --> 00:55:03,508 You're well regarded. 1138 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,279 Yeah, well, not in mine. 1139 00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:07,678 They don't like me much in mine either. 1140 00:55:07,679 --> 00:55:08,612 You don't say. 1141 00:55:08,613 --> 00:55:11,682 I wanted to be something, you know. I... 1142 00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,585 Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger. 1143 00:55:13,586 --> 00:55:15,487 - Fuck the Avengers. - Yeah. 1144 00:55:15,488 --> 00:55:19,096 I didn't make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men... 1145 00:55:20,163 --> 00:55:21,031 When my girlfriend left me, 1146 00:55:21,032 --> 00:55:23,595 - and I just... - You had a girlfriend? 1147 00:55:23,596 --> 00:55:24,816 Yeah. 1148 00:55:24,817 --> 00:55:26,036 Vanessa. 1149 00:55:26,037 --> 00:55:28,402 When we met, she was a dancer. 1150 00:55:28,897 --> 00:55:30,767 We had a whole life. 1151 00:55:31,471 --> 00:55:32,801 It was good. 1152 00:55:32,802 --> 00:55:35,838 But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah. 1153 00:55:36,212 --> 00:55:38,709 Fucked that right up. 1154 00:55:39,017 --> 00:55:39,940 But you, 1155 00:55:39,941 --> 00:55:40,875 you were an X-Man. 1156 00:55:40,876 --> 00:55:44,022 Fuck that. You were the X-Man. You... 1157 00:55:45,188 --> 00:55:47,091 The Wolverine. 1158 00:55:48,620 --> 00:55:51,029 He was a hero in my world. 1159 00:55:52,228 --> 00:55:53,955 Yeah, well... 1160 00:55:54,428 --> 00:55:56,265 he ain't shit in mine. 1161 00:56:00,566 --> 00:56:04,306 You said, "Logan was a hero." What happened? 1162 00:56:04,801 --> 00:56:06,209 He died. 1163 00:56:06,473 --> 00:56:06,934 How? 1164 00:56:06,935 --> 00:56:09,872 Well, technically, you were chest-fucked by a tree, but, 1165 00:56:09,873 --> 00:56:11,775 really, you just ran out of batteries 1166 00:56:11,776 --> 00:56:13,931 - trying to save someone. - Who? 1167 00:56:13,932 --> 00:56:16,087 The shitheels that grew her in a lab 1168 00:56:16,088 --> 00:56:18,386 called her "X-23." But... 1169 00:56:18,518 --> 00:56:19,617 she was just a kid. 1170 00:56:19,618 --> 00:56:23,787 A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. 1171 00:56:23,788 --> 00:56:25,756 You died trying to save her. 1172 00:56:25,757 --> 00:56:26,723 It was beautiful. 1173 00:56:26,724 --> 00:56:29,660 Look, mijo, I know you're hurtin'. 1174 00:56:29,661 --> 00:56:31,926 My blind, elderly, African-American roommate, 1175 00:56:31,927 --> 00:56:35,436 Blind Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are. 1176 00:56:35,437 --> 00:56:37,471 Sometimes we need to listen to that pain 1177 00:56:37,472 --> 00:56:38,372 instead of running from it. 1178 00:56:38,373 --> 00:56:39,736 - Holy shit. - Yeah, she's wise. 1179 00:56:39,737 --> 00:56:43,004 No, no, no. That's her name? You call her "Blind Al"? 1180 00:56:43,005 --> 00:56:44,709 Well, she's blind. 1181 00:57:21,813 --> 00:57:22,977 Look at you! 1182 00:57:22,978 --> 00:57:23,747 She's coming with us. 1183 00:57:23,748 --> 00:57:25,882 - No, she's not. Fuck no! - Oh, yes, she is. 1184 00:57:25,883 --> 00:57:27,047 - Oh, yes... - Sorry! 1185 00:57:27,048 --> 00:57:30,128 Sorry about that! 1186 00:57:30,129 --> 00:57:32,658 Come here, girl! 1187 00:57:32,659 --> 00:57:33,823 Who are you? 1188 00:57:33,824 --> 00:57:34,824 Oh, I'm Deadpool. 1189 00:57:34,825 --> 00:57:36,463 And I guess you're Deadpool too. 1190 00:57:36,464 --> 00:57:38,680 But in here, everybody calls me "Nicepool." 1191 00:57:38,681 --> 00:57:40,897 Oh, my goodness. Wait till you see Ladypool. 1192 00:57:40,898 --> 00:57:41,666 She is gorgeous. 1193 00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:44,472 She just had a baby too. And... 1194 00:57:44,473 --> 00:57:45,065 Can't even tell. 1195 00:57:45,066 --> 00:57:46,936 I don't think you're supposed to say that. 1196 00:57:46,937 --> 00:57:48,178 That's okay. 1197 00:57:48,179 --> 00:57:50,148 I identify as a feminist. 1198 00:57:50,149 --> 00:57:51,776 Right. 1199 00:57:52,711 --> 00:57:53,744 Are those gold-plated, 1200 00:57:53,745 --> 00:57:56,517 50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros? 1201 00:57:56,518 --> 00:57:57,286 'Course. 1202 00:57:57,287 --> 00:57:58,783 To match my ear huggie. 1203 00:57:58,784 --> 00:57:59,849 Can I have 'em? 1204 00:57:59,850 --> 00:58:01,885 Over my dead body. 1205 00:58:01,886 --> 00:58:02,654 You're fun. 1206 00:58:02,655 --> 00:58:05,823 And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins. 1207 00:58:05,824 --> 00:58:07,054 AKA Dogpool. 1208 00:58:07,055 --> 00:58:08,165 Careful where you put your hands. 1209 00:58:08,166 --> 00:58:11,564 She's ninety percent g-spot, and she'll let you know it. 1210 00:58:11,565 --> 00:58:14,964 You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second 1211 00:58:14,965 --> 00:58:16,999 and she starts shopping for a new papa. 1212 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,033 If you can't be a responsible pet owner, 1213 00:58:19,034 --> 00:58:22,070 then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn. 1214 00:58:22,071 --> 00:58:24,710 Guilty on all charges, Your Honor. 1215 00:58:24,711 --> 00:58:25,826 Shan't happen again. 1216 00:58:25,827 --> 00:58:26,942 Why are you so nice? 1217 00:58:26,943 --> 00:58:28,730 Oh, it costs nothing to be kind. 1218 00:58:28,731 --> 00:58:30,518 Shutting the fuck up is also free. 1219 00:58:30,519 --> 00:58:32,223 - Caliente. - This is Logan. 1220 00:58:32,224 --> 00:58:32,948 He's usually shirtless, 1221 00:58:32,949 --> 00:58:35,952 but he's let himself go since the divorce. 1222 00:58:36,590 --> 00:58:38,856 Where's your mask? 1223 00:58:40,825 --> 00:58:41,660 Come on, guys. 1224 00:58:43,433 --> 00:58:44,058 Ugh, this guy. 1225 00:58:44,059 --> 00:58:45,863 We're looking for a group of survivors. 1226 00:58:45,864 --> 00:58:46,698 Oh, they're out there. 1227 00:58:46,699 --> 00:58:48,667 Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope 1228 00:58:48,668 --> 00:58:50,637 that you don't run into the Deadpool corps. 1229 00:58:50,638 --> 00:58:51,373 Yeah, they're crazy. 1230 00:58:51,374 --> 00:58:53,035 They will chop you up into a thousand pieces 1231 00:58:53,036 --> 00:58:54,068 and hide you all over The Void. 1232 00:58:54,069 --> 00:58:56,104 If they could only process their childhood trauma, 1233 00:58:56,105 --> 00:58:57,941 they'd go on one heck of a healing journey. 1234 00:58:57,942 --> 00:58:59,778 Look, we're headed for the borderlands. 1235 00:58:59,779 --> 00:59:00,646 You know where it is? 1236 00:59:00,647 --> 00:59:02,934 Yeah, that... that's 12 klicks due west. 1237 00:59:02,935 --> 00:59:05,223 I can lend you my ride, if you like. 1238 00:59:05,224 --> 00:59:07,984 It would be my honor. 1239 00:59:10,426 --> 00:59:12,758 Oh, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. 1240 00:59:12,759 --> 00:59:15,024 Uh-uh. What the... No! No! 1241 00:59:15,025 --> 00:59:16,058 Just get in the car. 1242 00:59:16,059 --> 00:59:17,091 This isn't a car. 1243 00:59:17,092 --> 00:59:19,412 This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey. 1244 00:59:19,413 --> 00:59:21,734 Throttle response sucks a cock. 1245 00:59:21,735 --> 00:59:22,701 Dated infotainment system. 1246 00:59:22,702 --> 00:59:24,803 When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia 1247 00:59:24,804 --> 00:59:25,572 was makin' a comeback, 1248 00:59:25,573 --> 00:59:28,774 they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. 1249 00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:31,578 Get in the fucking car. 1250 00:59:31,579 --> 00:59:33,845 She'll get you there safe and sound. 1251 00:59:33,846 --> 00:59:35,549 Old Betsy always does. 1252 00:59:35,550 --> 00:59:38,487 You're gonna have to give me my dog back, though. 1253 00:59:38,488 --> 00:59:39,619 I know. Listen. 1254 00:59:39,620 --> 00:59:40,719 Yes, child. 1255 00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:43,459 If you ever wanna give her up, or if she needs a new home, 1256 00:59:43,460 --> 00:59:45,857 or if something should happen to you, 1257 00:59:45,858 --> 00:59:46,593 I'd love to be her papa. 1258 00:59:46,594 --> 00:59:49,399 What would ever happen to me? 1259 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,302 Lots of stuff. 1260 00:59:54,129 --> 00:59:55,415 - Jesus. - No! 1261 00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:56,702 We're running away. 1262 00:59:56,703 --> 00:59:58,903 - Give me that. - The corn was too dense, girl! 1263 00:59:58,904 --> 00:59:59,969 - There. - Come here! 1264 00:59:59,970 --> 01:00:02,412 - Fuck! - Hello! 1265 01:00:03,512 --> 01:00:04,347 Bye. 1266 01:00:30,099 --> 01:00:32,068 Okay, I'm just gonna ask... 1267 01:00:32,069 --> 01:00:32,936 What's with the suit? 1268 01:00:32,937 --> 01:00:34,741 First thing I did when I flamed out, 1269 01:00:34,742 --> 01:00:35,791 - I took mine off. - Drop it. 1270 01:00:35,792 --> 01:00:36,841 It's not that ugly. 1271 01:00:36,842 --> 01:00:38,910 - Stop talking about my suit. - Did you make it yourself? 1272 01:00:38,911 --> 01:00:39,844 - Been there. - Quit. Now. 1273 01:00:39,845 --> 01:00:43,112 The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fuckin' bitches. 1274 01:00:43,113 --> 01:00:44,717 They are not your friends, I'll tell you that. 1275 01:00:44,718 --> 01:00:47,457 Friends don't let friends leave the house lookin' like 1276 01:00:47,458 --> 01:00:49,624 they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams. 1277 01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:50,558 Shut the fuck up about this, or... 1278 01:00:50,559 --> 01:00:52,924 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your frown lines, angel baby. 1279 01:00:52,925 --> 01:00:54,023 I'm just trying to bond a little bit. 1280 01:00:54,024 --> 01:00:56,433 Yeah, well, then talk about somethin' else. 1281 01:00:56,434 --> 01:00:57,863 Fine. 1282 01:01:00,635 --> 01:01:02,934 Pshew. Pshew, pshew. 1283 01:01:02,935 --> 01:01:03,868 Pshew! 1284 01:01:03,869 --> 01:01:05,936 - Stop it. - Pshew. 1285 01:01:05,937 --> 01:01:07,741 If they can fix your world, what's the first thing 1286 01:01:07,742 --> 01:01:09,072 you're gonna do when you get out of here? 1287 01:01:09,073 --> 01:01:10,678 Get some rubbing alcohol shots, 1288 01:01:10,679 --> 01:01:11,975 maybe a wiper fluid chaser? 1289 01:01:11,976 --> 01:01:13,945 - What did you say? - I said when you get back, 1290 01:01:13,946 --> 01:01:15,584 what's the first thing you're gonna do? 1291 01:01:15,585 --> 01:01:17,817 No, no, no. Before that. 1292 01:01:17,982 --> 01:01:20,754 If... they can fix your world? 1293 01:01:23,988 --> 01:01:25,989 What do you mean, "if"? 1294 01:01:25,990 --> 01:01:26,957 - I mean... - You lied to me. 1295 01:01:26,958 --> 01:01:27,925 You don't have a fucking clue 1296 01:01:27,926 --> 01:01:30,225 if they can help me fix things, do you? 1297 01:01:30,226 --> 01:01:31,665 No. I mean... Ow! 1298 01:01:31,666 --> 01:01:33,964 Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie! 1299 01:01:33,965 --> 01:01:38,134 - You lied! - No! I made an educated wish! 1300 01:01:39,168 --> 01:01:41,302 Because I need you. 1301 01:01:41,445 --> 01:01:44,942 This. This is why. Right here. 1302 01:01:44,943 --> 01:01:47,247 'Cause if we don't do something, they die. 1303 01:01:47,248 --> 01:01:49,552 I don't know anything about saving worlds. 1304 01:01:49,553 --> 01:01:50,585 And why would I even care? 1305 01:01:50,586 --> 01:01:54,689 Because my entire world is right here in this picture. 1306 01:01:54,690 --> 01:01:56,085 It's only nine people, 1307 01:01:56,086 --> 01:01:59,363 and I have no idea how to save it alone. 1308 01:01:59,364 --> 01:02:02,059 I know how to fuck people up for money. But you, 1309 01:02:02,060 --> 01:02:04,699 you know how to save 'em! 1310 01:02:04,831 --> 01:02:05,914 At least the other Wolverine did. 1311 01:02:06,998 --> 01:02:10,441 Fuck! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one. 1312 01:02:10,442 --> 01:02:12,508 Did you say you made 1313 01:02:12,509 --> 01:02:15,544 an educated fucking wish? 1314 01:02:15,545 --> 01:02:17,761 They call me "The Merc with the Mouth." 1315 01:02:17,762 --> 01:02:20,371 They don't call me "Truthful Timmy, 1316 01:02:20,372 --> 01:02:22,981 "the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon." 1317 01:02:26,116 --> 01:02:27,721 One more word. 1318 01:02:27,722 --> 01:02:31,759 Please give me one. 1319 01:02:33,530 --> 01:02:35,278 Gubernatorial. 1320 01:02:35,279 --> 01:02:37,028 Oh, fuck! 1321 01:02:37,468 --> 01:02:40,064 You know what? You're a fucking joke. 1322 01:02:40,669 --> 01:02:41,999 No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. 1323 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,542 Or the X-Men. And they'll take fucking anyone. 1324 01:02:45,543 --> 01:02:46,509 I mean, you are 1325 01:02:46,510 --> 01:02:51,108 a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. 1326 01:02:51,109 --> 01:02:53,044 I have never met 1327 01:02:53,045 --> 01:02:53,747 a sadder, 1328 01:02:53,748 --> 01:02:56,850 more attention-starved, jabbering little prick 1329 01:02:56,851 --> 01:02:57,685 in my entire life. 1330 01:02:57,686 --> 01:02:59,952 And that says a lot, 'cause I've been alive 1331 01:02:59,953 --> 01:03:03,021 for more than 200 fuckin' years, 1332 01:03:03,022 --> 01:03:03,856 and I'll tell ya, 1333 01:03:03,857 --> 01:03:05,925 that bald chick was right about one thing. 1334 01:03:05,926 --> 01:03:08,355 You will never save the world! 1335 01:03:08,356 --> 01:03:11,502 You couldn't even save a relationship 1336 01:03:11,503 --> 01:03:12,733 with a goddamn stripper! 1337 01:03:12,734 --> 01:03:15,852 And motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone, 1338 01:03:15,853 --> 01:03:18,971 but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, 1339 01:03:18,972 --> 01:03:21,369 except that's on all of us! 1340 01:03:24,482 --> 01:03:27,210 Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth? 1341 01:03:35,592 --> 01:03:37,924 I'm gonna fight you now. 1342 01:03:39,530 --> 01:03:41,829 Oh, are you? 1343 01:03:50,739 --> 01:03:53,368 Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya? 1344 01:03:59,980 --> 01:04:02,179 Oh, you dirty bitch. 1345 01:04:16,381 --> 01:04:18,767 Whoo! 1346 01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:36,114 No, no, no! 1347 01:04:54,462 --> 01:04:56,871 Baby Knife! 1348 01:04:58,774 --> 01:05:02,404 I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard. 1349 01:05:02,405 --> 01:05:03,778 Too bad you don't, needle dick. 1350 01:05:03,779 --> 01:05:05,813 Oh, we're just gettin' started, bub. 1351 01:05:09,835 --> 01:05:11,819 Oh, you... Fuck! 1352 01:06:04,037 --> 01:06:05,874 Thor! 1353 01:06:08,107 --> 01:06:08,876 Where are we? 1354 01:06:08,877 --> 01:06:11,945 No clue, but... I like it here. 1355 01:06:19,547 --> 01:06:21,923 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1356 01:07:10,907 --> 01:07:12,104 Okay. 1357 01:07:12,105 --> 01:07:16,307 Look at you... all. You must be the others. 1358 01:07:16,439 --> 01:07:17,208 Terrific. 1359 01:07:17,209 --> 01:07:19,293 So just to refresh, you are 1360 01:07:19,294 --> 01:07:21,377 - Wonder... - Elektra. 1361 01:07:21,378 --> 01:07:24,248 Elektra? Yes. Who could forget? 1362 01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:27,120 And you. I was not expecting to see you here. 1363 01:07:27,121 --> 01:07:29,023 I thought you were, you know, 1364 01:07:29,024 --> 01:07:31,223 retired. 1365 01:07:31,421 --> 01:07:32,928 Retarded? 1366 01:07:33,621 --> 01:07:34,522 "Retired." 1367 01:07:34,523 --> 01:07:35,424 I'm already in The Void. 1368 01:07:35,425 --> 01:07:36,557 I'm not trying to get canceled again. 1369 01:07:36,558 --> 01:07:39,704 - I don't like you. - You never did. 1370 01:07:40,067 --> 01:07:42,905 And who's this succulent reminder 1371 01:07:42,906 --> 01:07:44,632 of my own inadequacies? 1372 01:07:44,633 --> 01:07:45,500 Look at you. 1373 01:07:45,501 --> 01:07:48,405 You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye. 1374 01:07:48,406 --> 01:07:51,947 The name's Remy LeBeau, Le Diable Blanc. 1375 01:07:51,948 --> 01:07:53,013 But you can call me the Gambit. 1376 01:07:53,014 --> 01:07:55,643 It's been a while since I've seen Sling Blade. 1377 01:07:55,644 --> 01:07:57,215 Hit me again. 1378 01:07:57,216 --> 01:07:58,018 They call me the Gambit. 1379 01:07:58,019 --> 01:07:59,482 Do they? Are you sure you didn't 1380 01:07:59,483 --> 01:08:01,286 just really, really want them to, 1381 01:08:01,287 --> 01:08:03,090 but it never quite worked out? 1382 01:08:04,619 --> 01:08:08,095 You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here. 1383 01:08:08,096 --> 01:08:08,864 But I can tell you now, 1384 01:08:08,865 --> 01:08:10,679 it's just a common courtesy to ask 1385 01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:12,494 before you drink up all of my liquor. 1386 01:08:12,495 --> 01:08:15,069 Well, it's a good thing I don't give a fuck. 1387 01:08:18,776 --> 01:08:20,206 Fuck. 1388 01:08:21,438 --> 01:08:24,309 So embarrassing. 1389 01:08:24,815 --> 01:08:25,474 Boo, boo, boo. 1390 01:08:25,475 --> 01:08:26,629 Well, now that that's settled, look, 1391 01:08:26,630 --> 01:08:27,784 we came a long way to find you three. 1392 01:08:27,785 --> 01:08:30,051 - There's four of us. - There's four... 1393 01:08:30,052 --> 01:08:31,678 Hey, wait. Is it Magneto? 1394 01:08:31,679 --> 01:08:33,989 Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto, 1395 01:08:33,990 --> 01:08:35,055 - because with him... - He's dead. 1396 01:08:35,056 --> 01:08:36,925 Fuck! Now Disney gets cheap? 1397 01:08:36,926 --> 01:08:38,977 It's like Pinocchio jammed his face in my ass 1398 01:08:38,978 --> 01:08:41,317 - and started lying like crazy. - Ooh, you nasty! 1399 01:08:41,318 --> 01:08:44,005 Mon petit rouge. Laissez les bons temps rouler, huh? 1400 01:08:44,006 --> 01:08:46,694 Not a single word. What do you do exactly? 1401 01:08:46,695 --> 01:08:49,201 Charge the playing cards and make 'em go boom! 1402 01:08:49,202 --> 01:08:51,842 Your power's close-up magic. That's good. 1403 01:08:51,843 --> 01:08:53,778 We're not totally fucked at all. 1404 01:08:53,779 --> 01:08:55,444 So who brought us here? 1405 01:08:55,445 --> 01:08:57,111 That would be me. 1406 01:09:06,714 --> 01:09:08,650 Don't make me regret it. 1407 01:09:08,991 --> 01:09:12,797 Holy shit. Logan. That's her. That's X-23. 1408 01:09:12,798 --> 01:09:15,360 She's the one I told you about. 1409 01:09:18,627 --> 01:09:21,168 Hey, how did you all get stuck in The Void? 1410 01:09:21,169 --> 01:09:23,038 There was a knock at the door. 1411 01:09:23,039 --> 01:09:24,402 - TVA sent me here. - Me, too. 1412 01:09:24,403 --> 01:09:25,765 Well, maybe I was born here. 1413 01:09:25,766 --> 01:09:28,119 It's... It's hard to know for sure. 1414 01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,473 TVA decided our universe was dying. 1415 01:09:30,474 --> 01:09:33,818 And I never even got a chance to fight for it. 1416 01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:37,679 People like us don't go quietly. 1417 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:40,033 TVA knows that, so they took us out. 1418 01:09:40,034 --> 01:09:42,387 The answer is yes. I'm in. 1419 01:09:42,388 --> 01:09:44,157 - In what? - A team. 1420 01:09:44,158 --> 01:09:45,972 Me, you, you, and me. All of us together. 1421 01:09:45,973 --> 01:09:47,864 Let's get the fuck out of this place. 1422 01:09:47,865 --> 01:09:49,757 Don't listen to him. He's a fucking liar! 1423 01:09:49,758 --> 01:09:51,726 It was an educated wish! 1424 01:09:51,727 --> 01:09:54,168 - Ha! - Look. 1425 01:09:54,531 --> 01:09:56,466 We've been inside Cassandra's lair. 1426 01:09:56,467 --> 01:09:59,074 The only way out of The Void is through her. 1427 01:09:59,075 --> 01:10:01,274 She can get us home. She told us. 1428 01:10:01,275 --> 01:10:03,473 Wait a minute, you've been inside? 1429 01:10:03,474 --> 01:10:05,112 - And you made it out alive? - Bullshit. 1430 01:10:05,113 --> 01:10:07,846 - Nobody's ever done that. - We did. 1431 01:10:07,847 --> 01:10:10,580 Every time one of us has gone up against her, 1432 01:10:10,581 --> 01:10:11,151 they die. 1433 01:10:11,152 --> 01:10:13,858 The Punisher, the Quicksilver, the Daredevil. 1434 01:10:13,859 --> 01:10:15,942 Daredevil? I'm so sorry. 1435 01:10:15,943 --> 01:10:18,027 - It's fine. - Okay. 1436 01:10:18,819 --> 01:10:22,526 Even that sweet, baby angel, Johnny Storm. 1437 01:10:22,527 --> 01:10:24,132 He up and gone missing like, 1438 01:10:24,133 --> 01:10:25,935 what, two days ago? 1439 01:10:25,936 --> 01:10:27,794 Ugh. That's so sad. 1440 01:10:27,795 --> 01:10:31,205 Wherever this Johnny fella is, I'm sure he's thriving. 1441 01:10:31,942 --> 01:10:34,769 Look, there's... there's strength in numbers. 1442 01:10:34,770 --> 01:10:35,439 All right? Us... 1443 01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:36,506 plus, you guys. We can put Cassandra 1444 01:10:36,507 --> 01:10:38,982 over our knee and force her to let us out of The Void. 1445 01:10:38,983 --> 01:10:40,483 I know what it means to feel self-doubt. 1446 01:10:40,484 --> 01:10:41,984 - I don't feel that at all. - I'm good. 1447 01:10:41,985 --> 01:10:44,383 Gnawing at your gut like a coked-up tapeworm. 1448 01:10:44,384 --> 01:10:46,055 It's like you're holding up a mirror to my soul. 1449 01:10:46,056 --> 01:10:47,925 You guys may not have been able 1450 01:10:47,926 --> 01:10:49,756 to save your universes. 1451 01:10:49,757 --> 01:10:51,587 But you can avenge them. 1452 01:10:51,588 --> 01:10:53,194 It's what Johnny would have wanted. 1453 01:10:53,195 --> 01:10:56,901 Wait. You knew Johnny? 1454 01:10:57,033 --> 01:10:57,967 Oh, yeah. 1455 01:10:57,968 --> 01:10:59,595 Dickhead here talked him into a team-up, 1456 01:10:59,596 --> 01:11:02,434 and Johnny came down with a little case of the deads. 1457 01:11:02,435 --> 01:11:03,665 No, no, no. We don't know that. 1458 01:11:03,666 --> 01:11:06,250 It was just a flesh wound. He may have survived. 1459 01:11:06,251 --> 01:11:08,836 If he survived that, he is prayin' for death. 1460 01:11:08,837 --> 01:11:10,876 Thank you, Doctor Wolverine! 1461 01:11:10,877 --> 01:11:12,917 - Spill it! - What'd you do to Johnny, huh? 1462 01:11:12,918 --> 01:11:13,983 Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'. 1463 01:11:13,984 --> 01:11:16,712 Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 1464 01:11:16,713 --> 01:11:17,283 Look. 1465 01:11:17,284 --> 01:11:19,682 He ran his fat-ass mouth about Cassandra. 1466 01:11:19,683 --> 01:11:21,056 Then she zip-zapped his skin, 1467 01:11:21,057 --> 01:11:23,025 leaving his organs to splash crudely onto the ground 1468 01:11:23,026 --> 01:11:26,656 while the soil greedily drank his blood. It was horrible. 1469 01:11:26,657 --> 01:11:27,788 He was like a brother to me. 1470 01:11:27,789 --> 01:11:31,331 Look, he died before he could make a difference. But... 1471 01:11:31,332 --> 01:11:32,794 Look, maybe you couldn't 1472 01:11:32,795 --> 01:11:33,937 save your worlds, but... 1473 01:11:33,938 --> 01:11:36,533 but Jesus Christ, you can save mine! 1474 01:11:36,534 --> 01:11:38,799 I don't give a shit about your world, but 1475 01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:42,111 if these two made it out of there alive, maybe together, 1476 01:11:42,112 --> 01:11:43,804 we can get back in and take her down. 1477 01:11:43,805 --> 01:11:46,477 Where I come from, we call that suicide, Chere. 1478 01:11:46,478 --> 01:11:49,151 If we can block her psychic powers, 1479 01:11:49,152 --> 01:11:51,219 we can get a leg up. I know it. 1480 01:11:51,220 --> 01:11:52,956 Now, I know Magneto's dead. 1481 01:11:52,957 --> 01:11:55,354 But I'd venture to guess that his helmet is lying 1482 01:11:55,355 --> 01:11:57,654 - around here somewhere... - Cassandra melted the helmet. 1483 01:11:57,655 --> 01:11:58,963 - Fuck! - After she killed him. 1484 01:11:58,964 --> 01:12:00,679 - Fuck! - She don't play. 1485 01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:02,268 She knows that helmet was the only way 1486 01:12:02,269 --> 01:12:03,857 to protect anyone from her powers. 1487 01:12:03,858 --> 01:12:06,201 The only other helmet that strong is Juggernaut's, 1488 01:12:06,202 --> 01:12:07,069 but he works for Cassandra. 1489 01:12:07,070 --> 01:12:08,433 Juggernaut's helmet. That's it. 1490 01:12:08,434 --> 01:12:10,370 Yeah, and we done be knowing that lid ain't comin' off 1491 01:12:10,371 --> 01:12:11,976 without that dome gonna come off wit'it. 1492 01:12:11,977 --> 01:12:13,472 I'm so sorry, beautiful. 1493 01:12:13,473 --> 01:12:14,307 I want this to be gentle. 1494 01:12:14,308 --> 01:12:16,177 Who is your dialect coach? The Minions? 1495 01:12:16,178 --> 01:12:20,710 I feel like we are missing critical exposition here. 1496 01:12:20,711 --> 01:12:23,966 I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of hiding. 1497 01:12:23,967 --> 01:12:27,222 Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us. 1498 01:12:27,223 --> 01:12:29,158 Or never learned about us. 1499 01:12:29,159 --> 01:12:30,577 The heroes we were. 1500 01:12:30,578 --> 01:12:31,869 Lives we saved. 1501 01:12:31,870 --> 01:12:33,161 Or wanted to save. 1502 01:12:33,162 --> 01:12:35,560 Maybe these two are our chance. 1503 01:12:36,759 --> 01:12:38,496 To be remembered. 1504 01:12:38,497 --> 01:12:40,235 The way we deserve. 1505 01:12:40,829 --> 01:12:41,962 Yes. 1506 01:12:41,963 --> 01:12:43,567 An ending. 1507 01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:44,866 - Legacy. - Yes! 1508 01:12:44,867 --> 01:12:46,075 Yes! Let this man cook. 1509 01:12:46,076 --> 01:12:47,923 This is what I'm talking about. 1510 01:12:47,924 --> 01:12:49,772 Big slow-motion fights, sad music. 1511 01:12:49,773 --> 01:12:50,640 Everybody working together. 1512 01:12:50,641 --> 01:12:52,676 Who knows if you live or die? That sorta thing. 1513 01:12:52,677 --> 01:12:55,118 - Who's ready? - I was born ready. 1514 01:12:55,119 --> 01:12:56,168 Yes! Gambit? 1515 01:12:56,169 --> 01:12:57,218 I ain't know my daddy, 1516 01:12:57,219 --> 01:12:58,984 but I'm sure I shot out of his dick ready. 1517 01:12:58,985 --> 01:13:00,749 Jesus Christ, that is graphic. 1518 01:13:00,750 --> 01:13:02,719 Yeah. He was layin' them buttery nuts all up in my mama 1519 01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:04,820 and I shot out there and I said, "What's up, Doc?" 1520 01:13:04,821 --> 01:13:07,724 Johnny must have loved you. 1521 01:13:07,725 --> 01:13:10,166 X-23, what's it gonna be? 1522 01:13:10,167 --> 01:13:10,858 The name's Laura. 1523 01:13:10,859 --> 01:13:14,071 - Let's fucking go. - Let's fucking go! 1524 01:13:14,072 --> 01:13:15,170 It's on like chicken and corn. 1525 01:13:15,171 --> 01:13:17,041 - Yeah! - We're doing this. 1526 01:13:17,042 --> 01:13:17,799 You're all fuckin' dead. 1527 01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:21,144 My God! Read the room. 1528 01:13:30,582 --> 01:13:35,125 Hey, hey. I'm not lookin' for company. Get out of here. 1529 01:13:36,588 --> 01:13:38,039 You remind me of him. 1530 01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:39,491 Angry. Drunk. Mean... 1531 01:13:39,492 --> 01:13:42,825 - Sounds like a great guy... - Wasn't finished. 1532 01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:46,235 Showed up when it mattered the most. 1533 01:13:47,830 --> 01:13:50,140 Couldn't help it. 1534 01:13:52,637 --> 01:13:54,804 You might not know it, but... 1535 01:13:54,936 --> 01:13:56,674 you're a good man, Logan. 1536 01:13:58,148 --> 01:14:00,216 You might not know it, but apparently, 1537 01:14:00,217 --> 01:14:02,284 I'm the worst Logan. 1538 01:14:03,120 --> 01:14:06,013 I got to have a life because of you. 1539 01:14:07,982 --> 01:14:10,655 I got to grow up because of you. 1540 01:14:12,019 --> 01:14:13,096 A lot of kids did. 1541 01:14:13,097 --> 01:14:16,364 A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. 1542 01:14:17,761 --> 01:14:20,170 Trust me, kid, I'm no hero. 1543 01:14:20,731 --> 01:14:22,699 That suit says different. 1544 01:14:22,700 --> 01:14:25,736 - Yeah. Do you like it? - Mm. 1545 01:14:26,605 --> 01:14:29,311 Scott used to beg me to wear it. 1546 01:14:30,807 --> 01:14:34,184 So did Jean, Storm, Beast. 1547 01:14:35,713 --> 01:14:36,944 All of them. 1548 01:14:36,945 --> 01:14:41,168 They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. 1549 01:14:41,169 --> 01:14:45,393 Told 'em they all look fucking ridiculous. I mean... 1550 01:14:45,921 --> 01:14:49,958 I couldn't have 'em thinkin' I wanted to be there. 1551 01:14:54,435 --> 01:14:57,064 And then one day, while I was off on my own, 1552 01:14:57,065 --> 01:14:58,867 the humans came... 1553 01:14:58,868 --> 01:15:00,969 and went mutant hunting. 1554 01:15:01,541 --> 01:15:03,091 I can guess the rest. 1555 01:15:03,092 --> 01:15:04,643 No, no, let me... 1556 01:15:05,215 --> 01:15:07,074 Let me say it. I... 1557 01:15:09,043 --> 01:15:10,880 I need to say it. 1558 01:15:12,079 --> 01:15:15,522 By the time I stumbled home shitfaced from the bar, 1559 01:15:15,523 --> 01:15:17,359 it was too late. 1560 01:15:20,120 --> 01:15:22,826 They were dead. Every... 1561 01:15:27,567 --> 01:15:32,066 This suit's all I got to remind me of who they were. 1562 01:15:33,540 --> 01:15:35,102 And what I did. 1563 01:15:46,982 --> 01:15:49,886 We're headed to Cassandra's at sunup. 1564 01:15:50,018 --> 01:15:52,724 Have fun. Not my fight. 1565 01:15:54,858 --> 01:15:57,663 We won't pull this off without you. 1566 01:16:03,130 --> 01:16:07,937 Hey. Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1567 01:16:09,873 --> 01:16:12,381 You were always the wrong guy. 1568 01:16:37,671 --> 01:16:38,164 What? 1569 01:16:38,165 --> 01:16:40,001 Alioth didn't get them. 1570 01:16:40,002 --> 01:16:43,445 Cassandra wanted to play with them herself first. 1571 01:16:43,446 --> 01:16:44,071 They got away. 1572 01:16:44,072 --> 01:16:45,843 - Did they find the others? - No. 1573 01:16:45,844 --> 01:16:46,876 Good. All right. Phew. 1574 01:16:46,877 --> 01:16:48,796 - The others found them. - Oh, very cute. 1575 01:16:48,797 --> 01:16:50,716 Well done, Pyro. Classic bait and switch. 1576 01:16:50,717 --> 01:16:53,388 - You really got me there. - Relax. 1577 01:16:53,389 --> 01:16:55,853 If they come after Nova, she'll handle it. 1578 01:16:55,854 --> 01:16:57,656 Cassandra is a lunatic wild card. 1579 01:16:57,657 --> 01:16:59,923 Why do you think we put her there in the first place? 1580 01:16:59,924 --> 01:17:02,695 Thank God she's never chosen to leave The Void. 1581 01:17:02,696 --> 01:17:05,467 The Time Ripper is hours away from completion. 1582 01:17:05,468 --> 01:17:06,831 I cannot take any chances. 1583 01:17:06,832 --> 01:17:07,964 Well, maybe not. 1584 01:17:07,965 --> 01:17:09,014 But I can. 1585 01:17:09,015 --> 01:17:10,064 For a price. 1586 01:17:10,065 --> 01:17:11,968 Why do you have to say it in that silly voice? 1587 01:17:11,969 --> 01:17:12,605 It's so icky. 1588 01:17:12,606 --> 01:17:15,103 - You want it done or not? - All right. Your price. 1589 01:17:15,104 --> 01:17:16,874 Take her out. 1590 01:17:16,875 --> 01:17:18,644 Ugh. Mutants. 1591 01:17:40,932 --> 01:17:41,667 Ooh! Look at that there! 1592 01:17:41,668 --> 01:17:43,037 You see them biggum hands come closed. 1593 01:17:43,038 --> 01:17:44,406 Ain't not a wonna gettin' up inside there. 1594 01:17:44,407 --> 01:17:46,623 I think what Gambit's trying to say is 1595 01:17:46,624 --> 01:17:48,840 getting Juggernaut's helmet ain't gonna be easy. 1596 01:17:48,841 --> 01:17:50,242 I'm just making stuff up at this... 1597 01:17:50,243 --> 01:17:51,644 - Yeah. Tilt up to Blade. - Gun! 1598 01:17:56,882 --> 01:17:59,147 Where'd he get that little beauty? 1599 01:17:59,148 --> 01:18:00,653 That's Punisher's AT4. 1600 01:18:00,654 --> 01:18:03,591 Which Punisher? There's been, like, five of them. 1601 01:18:03,592 --> 01:18:04,921 There's only been one Blade, 1602 01:18:04,922 --> 01:18:06,362 and there's only ever gonna be one Blade. 1603 01:18:11,732 --> 01:18:13,232 Incoming! 1604 01:18:13,233 --> 01:18:14,733 Ahhh! 1605 01:19:19,128 --> 01:19:20,964 Ooh, this is gonna be good. 1606 01:19:20,965 --> 01:19:23,401 You know how long I've been waiting for this? 1607 01:19:23,402 --> 01:19:25,505 Whoo! I'm about to make a name for myself here. 1608 01:19:25,506 --> 01:19:27,608 I don't think you guys walk away from this. 1609 01:19:27,609 --> 01:19:29,924 You just make sure people know what happened here today. 1610 01:19:29,925 --> 01:19:32,240 And when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah? 1611 01:19:32,241 --> 01:19:34,929 You just stay on our six and get inside. 1612 01:19:34,930 --> 01:19:37,619 We'll make sure you get the package. 1613 01:19:37,620 --> 01:19:39,885 And we'll get our ending. 1614 01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:50,218 And boom! 1615 01:21:20,722 --> 01:21:24,022 Heh. Some motherfuckers still trying to ice skate uphill. 1616 01:21:30,633 --> 01:21:33,064 You two escaping, I could live with. 1617 01:21:33,065 --> 01:21:36,804 But coming back? Willingly? 1618 01:21:37,673 --> 01:21:39,069 Boys are so silly. 1619 01:21:39,070 --> 01:21:40,103 I just need to get home. 1620 01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:42,578 Well, that's not on the menu, I'm afraid. 1621 01:21:42,579 --> 01:21:46,506 It's death or enslavement. A la carte, of course. 1622 01:21:46,507 --> 01:21:48,915 Upsy-daisy. 1623 01:21:53,722 --> 01:21:54,183 Finally, 1624 01:21:54,184 --> 01:21:56,659 it's nice to give someone else a chance to talk. 1625 01:21:56,660 --> 01:21:58,809 Not my strong suit. 1626 01:22:16,074 --> 01:22:18,241 You shouldn't have done that. 1627 01:22:37,425 --> 01:22:39,262 Adios, pendejo. 1628 01:22:40,560 --> 01:22:43,430 You are an interesting one, aren't you? 1629 01:22:43,431 --> 01:22:47,204 I do feel like you get lost behind all of his... 1630 01:22:49,712 --> 01:22:53,749 Deadpools are a dime a dozen here in The Void. 1631 01:22:54,013 --> 01:22:55,750 But you... 1632 01:22:55,751 --> 01:22:59,414 What's going on in here? 1633 01:23:08,061 --> 01:23:10,326 Logan! 1634 01:23:12,064 --> 01:23:14,132 Interesting... 1635 01:23:14,429 --> 01:23:17,168 Not what I expected back here. 1636 01:23:17,641 --> 01:23:19,643 Behind the anger. 1637 01:23:22,910 --> 01:23:24,009 You're hiding. 1638 01:23:24,010 --> 01:23:25,780 From them. 1639 01:23:25,781 --> 01:23:28,718 From all the ones you let down. 1640 01:23:30,687 --> 01:23:32,414 So much pain. 1641 01:23:34,515 --> 01:23:36,483 I walked away. 1642 01:23:36,484 --> 01:23:38,519 They called after me and I... 1643 01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:40,224 I walked away. 1644 01:23:40,796 --> 01:23:41,587 I always do. 1645 01:23:41,588 --> 01:23:43,700 - Logan! - I know. 1646 01:23:45,097 --> 01:23:47,264 That's not all you did. 1647 01:23:47,594 --> 01:23:48,099 Is it? 1648 01:23:51,774 --> 01:23:53,809 You found them. 1649 01:23:54,106 --> 01:23:55,811 The X-Men. 1650 01:24:00,718 --> 01:24:01,211 Dead. 1651 01:24:04,216 --> 01:24:06,118 Piled like wood. 1652 01:24:06,822 --> 01:24:09,088 What did you do? 1653 01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,453 I started killing. 1654 01:24:12,454 --> 01:24:16,161 And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop. 1655 01:24:16,491 --> 01:24:19,769 All those bad men. 1656 01:24:23,069 --> 01:24:25,742 It's not just the bad ones. 1657 01:24:26,633 --> 01:24:28,404 My little animal. 1658 01:24:29,878 --> 01:24:34,014 And I turned the whole world against the X-Men. 1659 01:24:34,015 --> 01:24:35,642 Blade! 1660 01:24:40,581 --> 01:24:42,286 Just once... 1661 01:24:42,825 --> 01:24:46,895 I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was. 1662 01:24:47,654 --> 01:24:49,128 Logan... 1663 01:24:49,590 --> 01:24:54,331 in The Void, you can be what you are. 1664 01:24:55,970 --> 01:24:58,252 I just wanna be free. 1665 01:24:58,253 --> 01:25:00,535 I can set you free. 1666 01:25:10,952 --> 01:25:16,760 I can silence all those voices. 1667 01:25:23,525 --> 01:25:25,098 I've got you. 1668 01:25:27,034 --> 01:25:28,805 I've got you. 1669 01:25:28,970 --> 01:25:30,367 No. 1670 01:25:31,137 --> 01:25:32,875 I got you. 1671 01:25:39,816 --> 01:25:41,982 Get it off! 1672 01:25:41,983 --> 01:25:43,550 You're gonna send us home, 1673 01:25:43,551 --> 01:25:45,118 or I'm gonna twist your fucking head off. 1674 01:25:45,119 --> 01:25:47,582 Why are you laughing? 1675 01:25:47,583 --> 01:25:48,483 I can't send you home 1676 01:25:48,484 --> 01:25:51,795 unless you get this thing off my head. 1677 01:25:51,796 --> 01:25:52,652 And as soon as you do that, 1678 01:25:52,653 --> 01:25:55,639 I'm going to boil your brains on an atomic level 1679 01:25:55,640 --> 01:25:58,626 whilst flicking my bean to the Enya box set. 1680 01:25:58,627 --> 01:26:00,166 There's an Enya box set? 1681 01:26:00,167 --> 01:26:01,898 Either you kill me 1682 01:26:01,899 --> 01:26:03,631 or I kill you. 1683 01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:05,533 Both wonderful options. 1684 01:26:05,534 --> 01:26:07,239 You want me to do it? 1685 01:26:07,240 --> 01:26:07,843 No, I'll do it. 1686 01:26:07,844 --> 01:26:09,075 I have her neck right here. 1687 01:26:09,076 --> 01:26:10,946 - It's really no problem. - You'll screw it up. 1688 01:26:10,947 --> 01:26:12,849 Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13, 1689 01:26:12,850 --> 01:26:13,706 except the last one! 1690 01:26:13,707 --> 01:26:16,710 What the fuck? 1691 01:26:16,820 --> 01:26:19,680 You have no idea 1692 01:26:19,681 --> 01:26:20,416 what it's like! 1693 01:26:20,417 --> 01:26:23,750 Day after day. Shovel the shit. 1694 01:26:23,751 --> 01:26:25,157 Fetch the meats. 1695 01:26:25,158 --> 01:26:28,964 I have spent my entire exis... 1696 01:26:29,932 --> 01:26:31,394 Not everyone gets a speech. 1697 01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:33,902 She's gonna die. 1698 01:26:33,903 --> 01:26:35,839 Okay. Hey, hey. If I take this helmet off, 1699 01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:37,423 do you promise you won't kill us? 1700 01:26:37,424 --> 01:26:39,007 - Fuck! - I promise... 1701 01:26:39,008 --> 01:26:40,436 I will kill you first thing. 1702 01:26:40,437 --> 01:26:42,846 Oh! Why are you like this? 1703 01:26:42,847 --> 01:26:43,736 I wish I knew. 1704 01:26:43,737 --> 01:26:44,924 - Take it off. - What? 1705 01:26:44,925 --> 01:26:46,112 - Take it off. - Why? 1706 01:26:46,113 --> 01:26:47,675 - Just take it off. - This is our only chance 1707 01:26:47,676 --> 01:26:50,810 - to fix our shit! - Take it off! 1708 01:26:51,888 --> 01:26:53,581 I am wearing this suit. 1709 01:26:53,582 --> 01:26:57,223 And that means a lot of things, but most of all... 1710 01:26:57,927 --> 01:26:59,929 it means I'm an X-Man. 1711 01:27:00,160 --> 01:27:02,327 And I know your brother. 1712 01:27:03,493 --> 01:27:04,757 As much as I want to fucking kill you, 1713 01:27:04,758 --> 01:27:08,415 every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you, 1714 01:27:08,416 --> 01:27:12,073 he would not let me stand here and watch you die! 1715 01:27:13,767 --> 01:27:15,802 Take your hands off. 1716 01:27:16,803 --> 01:27:18,739 This is for him. 1717 01:27:19,806 --> 01:27:21,885 This is for Charles. 1718 01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:32,423 Hey, no, no, no! 1719 01:27:32,424 --> 01:27:35,030 Don't you dare do me like Johnny! 1720 01:27:40,629 --> 01:27:42,400 My brother loved you. 1721 01:27:43,632 --> 01:27:45,370 He loved all of us. 1722 01:27:45,667 --> 01:27:47,075 Hmm. 1723 01:27:47,867 --> 01:27:49,704 Must be nice. 1724 01:27:49,803 --> 01:27:52,047 He would've loved you, too. 1725 01:27:54,082 --> 01:27:56,084 If he knew about you... 1726 01:27:56,953 --> 01:27:58,019 if he knew where you were, 1727 01:27:58,020 --> 01:28:00,814 he would've torn a hole in the fucking universe 1728 01:28:00,815 --> 01:28:02,684 to bring you home. 1729 01:28:05,819 --> 01:28:07,424 This is my home. 1730 01:28:07,425 --> 01:28:10,857 Well, then at least let us save his. 1731 01:28:13,937 --> 01:28:16,401 You want to hear something crazy? 1732 01:28:16,830 --> 01:28:21,274 An amateur magician rolled through here a while back. 1733 01:28:21,538 --> 01:28:23,110 I killed him, of course. 1734 01:28:23,111 --> 01:28:26,741 Wore his skin around for four days. 1735 01:28:27,016 --> 01:28:27,950 But 1736 01:28:27,951 --> 01:28:29,749 I found this 1737 01:28:29,750 --> 01:28:31,547 little trinket 1738 01:28:31,548 --> 01:28:33,681 on his lovely fingers. 1739 01:28:33,682 --> 01:28:35,816 Strange! 1740 01:28:37,455 --> 01:28:40,997 - Marvel sparkle circle. - What is that? 1741 01:28:40,998 --> 01:28:42,756 This is your way home. 1742 01:28:42,757 --> 01:28:44,626 I do owe you for saving my life. 1743 01:28:44,627 --> 01:28:46,612 But let's keep things interesting. 1744 01:28:46,613 --> 01:28:48,598 I'd say you have about four seconds 1745 01:28:48,599 --> 01:28:50,897 before you're Alioth's food. 1746 01:28:54,142 --> 01:28:56,243 Race ya. 1747 01:30:18,325 --> 01:30:21,020 And as I said, we've got a standard three-year 1748 01:30:21,021 --> 01:30:22,427 bumper to bumper warranty. 1749 01:30:22,428 --> 01:30:23,989 Glad you gave us a second chance. 1750 01:30:23,990 --> 01:30:26,145 And don't worry. Wade and I are a team, 1751 01:30:26,146 --> 01:30:28,302 so I'll see he gets half the commission... 1752 01:30:29,138 --> 01:30:30,138 Whoa. 1753 01:30:30,139 --> 01:30:32,140 That feels like a Kia. 1754 01:30:32,141 --> 01:30:36,079 It's a fucking Kia Carnival, isn't it? 1755 01:30:36,442 --> 01:30:39,544 Holy shit. That's Deadpool. 1756 01:30:39,545 --> 01:30:40,379 And that's Wolverine. 1757 01:30:40,380 --> 01:30:42,041 You're damn straight it is. 1758 01:30:42,042 --> 01:30:42,975 Fox killed him. 1759 01:30:42,976 --> 01:30:43,712 Disney brought him back. 1760 01:30:43,713 --> 01:30:46,386 They're going to make him do this till he's 90. 1761 01:30:46,518 --> 01:30:47,815 Let's go. 1762 01:30:47,816 --> 01:30:49,521 I'll clock you out! 1763 01:30:49,522 --> 01:30:51,358 Forever! 1764 01:30:51,721 --> 01:30:53,228 Forever. 1765 01:30:59,894 --> 01:31:00,597 Wakey-wakey. 1766 01:31:00,598 --> 01:31:03,271 God? 1767 01:31:03,370 --> 01:31:07,066 Now, you put all these bullets in my belly, 1768 01:31:07,067 --> 01:31:09,706 and I'm gonna find out why. 1769 01:31:09,707 --> 01:31:11,312 Whoa, whoa! 1770 01:31:11,411 --> 01:31:12,774 I'll just say it. 1771 01:31:12,775 --> 01:31:15,008 You don't have to stick your fingers in me. 1772 01:31:15,009 --> 01:31:18,154 Jesus, just ask sometimes. 1773 01:31:18,155 --> 01:31:19,815 Fine. 1774 01:31:20,585 --> 01:31:21,882 Really? 1775 01:31:21,883 --> 01:31:23,301 Hands in pockets. 1776 01:31:24,831 --> 01:31:26,359 Guy named Paradox. 1777 01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:28,427 He said he'd get me out of The Void. 1778 01:31:28,428 --> 01:31:30,496 All I know is he works for the TVA. 1779 01:31:30,497 --> 01:31:31,166 The TVA. 1780 01:31:31,167 --> 01:31:32,464 We had an agreement. 1781 01:31:32,465 --> 01:31:34,665 I don't think this guy cares. 1782 01:31:34,666 --> 01:31:36,166 Huh. He will. 1783 01:31:36,167 --> 01:31:37,667 Hey, people! 1784 01:31:37,668 --> 01:31:40,066 How much longer before the Time Ripper is active? 1785 01:31:40,067 --> 01:31:41,539 We're running the final safety checks. 1786 01:31:41,540 --> 01:31:44,642 Oh, okay. All right. Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph. 1787 01:31:44,643 --> 01:31:46,182 - Take your time. - Really? 1788 01:31:46,183 --> 01:31:47,447 No, you drooling boob! 1789 01:31:47,448 --> 01:31:48,711 No! We have company. 1790 01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:52,650 Cancel the safety checks. We need to be live now! 1791 01:31:52,651 --> 01:31:54,949 Oh, I hate you so much. 1792 01:31:56,522 --> 01:31:57,115 No! Stop! 1793 01:31:57,116 --> 01:31:58,589 Piss off! You're too late. 1794 01:31:58,590 --> 01:32:00,889 - You're fuckin' done. - Why was Thor crying? 1795 01:32:00,890 --> 01:32:01,790 How dare you! 1796 01:32:01,791 --> 01:32:04,497 No one comes back from The Void. 1797 01:32:04,498 --> 01:32:06,862 Tell that to Cassandra Nova. 1798 01:32:14,738 --> 01:32:17,675 Paradox. We have a problem. 1799 01:32:19,776 --> 01:32:21,811 Paradox. 1800 01:32:22,614 --> 01:32:25,881 Well, you are doughier than you looked in Pyro's head. 1801 01:32:25,882 --> 01:32:27,333 You tried to kill me. 1802 01:32:27,334 --> 01:32:28,784 I literally have no I... 1803 01:32:28,785 --> 01:32:30,853 You come for the king, 1804 01:32:30,854 --> 01:32:32,921 you better kill the king. 1805 01:32:32,922 --> 01:32:33,657 Oh-ho-ho! 1806 01:32:33,658 --> 01:32:36,143 Welcome to the skull fuck club, Paradox. 1807 01:32:36,144 --> 01:32:38,630 You know she doesn't wash that hand. 1808 01:32:38,631 --> 01:32:40,467 Oh. 1809 01:32:40,468 --> 01:32:42,095 What's this? 1810 01:32:42,799 --> 01:32:43,750 A Time Ripper? 1811 01:32:43,751 --> 01:32:44,701 Naughty boy. 1812 01:32:44,702 --> 01:32:45,735 Oh, no. We're on it. 1813 01:32:45,736 --> 01:32:47,902 We're gonna head down and dismantle that thing now. 1814 01:32:47,903 --> 01:32:50,070 We got ya, boo. You just keep playing those keys. 1815 01:32:50,071 --> 01:32:52,578 I don't want to destroy it. 1816 01:32:52,579 --> 01:32:53,578 I want to use it. 1817 01:32:53,579 --> 01:32:57,176 Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. 1818 01:33:03,457 --> 01:33:05,591 You know, the funny thing is, 1819 01:33:05,592 --> 01:33:07,086 I was happy in The Void. 1820 01:33:07,087 --> 01:33:11,025 You sent your trash to me. Alioth and I cleaned it up. 1821 01:33:11,026 --> 01:33:12,894 Everyone was happy. 1822 01:33:12,895 --> 01:33:16,767 And then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. 1823 01:33:16,768 --> 01:33:19,670 And so now the fence must come down. 1824 01:33:19,671 --> 01:33:22,024 I'm going to use your little Time Ripper. 1825 01:33:22,025 --> 01:33:24,582 And I'm going to destroy this universe 1826 01:33:24,583 --> 01:33:27,879 and the next and the next and the next 1827 01:33:27,880 --> 01:33:31,177 until all that's left is The Void. 1828 01:33:31,178 --> 01:33:33,486 And I get to play God. 1829 01:33:33,487 --> 01:33:35,049 Come on. 1830 01:33:35,050 --> 01:33:35,950 Now you're going to show me 1831 01:33:35,951 --> 01:33:37,853 how to use this fancy gadget of yours. 1832 01:33:37,854 --> 01:33:39,757 And don't worry, I've called some friends 1833 01:33:39,758 --> 01:33:42,364 to make sure we're not disturbed. 1834 01:33:44,498 --> 01:33:45,697 Sorry to bother, madam, 1835 01:33:45,698 --> 01:33:47,467 but there's something you need to see. 1836 01:33:47,468 --> 01:33:50,570 We're getting indications of an unsanctioned Time Ripper 1837 01:33:50,571 --> 01:33:53,672 activating on Earth-10005. 1838 01:33:54,640 --> 01:33:56,675 Whose district is that? 1839 01:33:56,873 --> 01:33:58,281 Paradox. 1840 01:34:08,621 --> 01:34:11,019 Well, thank you so much for your help, darling. 1841 01:34:11,020 --> 01:34:13,659 God. Good to get out of that head. 1842 01:34:13,660 --> 01:34:16,332 Whew! What a mess! 1843 01:34:23,229 --> 01:34:23,833 Stop! 1844 01:34:23,834 --> 01:34:25,968 Let's give it a beat for the extras to clear. 1845 01:34:25,969 --> 01:34:29,202 Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, my God! 1846 01:34:33,107 --> 01:34:36,615 - Oh. My. God. - Fuck. 1847 01:34:43,722 --> 01:34:45,954 It's her! 1848 01:34:45,955 --> 01:34:48,958 Come on, girl! 1849 01:34:54,932 --> 01:34:56,614 Come on, girl! 1850 01:35:10,717 --> 01:35:11,716 That's my girl! 1851 01:35:11,717 --> 01:35:13,014 We don't have to be apart 1852 01:35:13,015 --> 01:35:15,149 ever, ever again. Never, ever... 1853 01:35:15,150 --> 01:35:16,755 - Sorry! - Fuck! 1854 01:35:17,459 --> 01:35:19,086 What's Cafe Gratitude doing here? 1855 01:35:19,087 --> 01:35:21,072 Sorry about that. 1856 01:35:21,073 --> 01:35:23,058 Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins. 1857 01:35:23,059 --> 01:35:24,411 I'll handle him. 1858 01:35:24,412 --> 01:35:25,763 Come here, girl. Papa's here. 1859 01:35:25,764 --> 01:35:29,064 Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy. 1860 01:35:29,065 --> 01:35:30,785 She can decide who her papa is. 1861 01:35:30,786 --> 01:35:32,506 What's it gonna be, girl, huh? 1862 01:35:32,507 --> 01:35:34,640 Original recipe or Van Milder here? 1863 01:35:34,641 --> 01:35:39,481 Ah, that's funny. I can gently tap the fourth wall too. 1864 01:35:39,482 --> 01:35:41,241 The Proposal. 1865 01:35:41,879 --> 01:35:42,846 The fuck was that? 1866 01:35:42,847 --> 01:35:44,882 Bitch, you think that's what I do? 1867 01:35:44,883 --> 01:35:45,849 Both of you shut up. 1868 01:35:45,850 --> 01:35:48,182 You smell somethin'? 1869 01:35:48,183 --> 01:35:48,885 Yeah, you. 1870 01:35:48,886 --> 01:35:51,052 A lot of you. 1871 01:36:06,068 --> 01:36:08,708 Told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there. 1872 01:36:20,555 --> 01:36:22,381 That's bad. 1873 01:36:43,776 --> 01:36:45,547 I take it they're not friendly. 1874 01:36:45,548 --> 01:36:46,272 Goodness, no. 1875 01:36:46,273 --> 01:36:47,944 Sorry about this, boys. Mission over. 1876 01:36:47,945 --> 01:36:51,751 Cause of death, one hundred kill-thirsty Deadpools. 1877 01:36:51,752 --> 01:36:52,377 They're dumb. 1878 01:36:52,378 --> 01:36:53,620 But they can fight. Not me, though. 1879 01:36:53,621 --> 01:36:56,756 Would love to get in the mix, but I have low bone density 1880 01:36:56,757 --> 01:36:58,307 and I have to keep my face safe. 1881 01:36:58,308 --> 01:36:59,857 Hold, please. 1882 01:36:59,858 --> 01:37:02,828 - Oh, God. - All right. Look. 1883 01:37:02,829 --> 01:37:04,324 Guys! 1884 01:37:04,830 --> 01:37:06,094 Deadpool Prime here. 1885 01:37:06,095 --> 01:37:08,064 - Our fight isn't with you... - Hey! 1886 01:37:08,065 --> 01:37:09,097 When I want your opinion, 1887 01:37:09,098 --> 01:37:11,672 I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth. 1888 01:37:11,673 --> 01:37:13,107 That's Kidpool. She's the dirtiest. 1889 01:37:13,108 --> 01:37:14,542 Can we just be done? 1890 01:37:14,543 --> 01:37:16,743 Ooh, we're just getting started. 1891 01:37:16,744 --> 01:37:18,926 No, no, no, no, no. 1892 01:37:18,927 --> 01:37:21,110 With the whole multiverse thing. 1893 01:37:21,517 --> 01:37:23,067 It's not great. 1894 01:37:23,068 --> 01:37:24,619 It's just been miss 1895 01:37:24,620 --> 01:37:26,032 after miss 1896 01:37:26,033 --> 01:37:27,445 after miss. 1897 01:37:27,446 --> 01:37:29,921 Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, 1898 01:37:29,922 --> 01:37:33,221 and they did it best. The gays knew it. 1899 01:37:33,222 --> 01:37:34,122 But we didn't listen. 1900 01:37:34,123 --> 01:37:36,861 Let's just take the L and move on. 1901 01:37:36,862 --> 01:37:39,667 I think it's been steadily great since Endgame. 1902 01:37:39,668 --> 01:37:41,702 What are you talking about? 1903 01:37:41,703 --> 01:37:42,933 The multiverse is over. 1904 01:37:42,934 --> 01:37:44,430 Cassandy gonna destroy 1905 01:37:44,431 --> 01:37:46,035 the fuck outta every timeline. 1906 01:37:46,036 --> 01:37:47,675 Heh. Y'all can't do shit about it. 1907 01:37:47,676 --> 01:37:48,576 Do you not get it? 1908 01:37:48,577 --> 01:37:49,941 If we don't go down to the subway 1909 01:37:49,942 --> 01:37:50,809 and stop her, we all die. 1910 01:37:50,810 --> 01:37:52,108 Say, the boss lady 1911 01:37:52,109 --> 01:37:53,108 don't want no disturbances. 1912 01:37:53,109 --> 01:37:55,243 You wanna get down to the subway, 1913 01:37:55,244 --> 01:37:56,684 you gotta go through us. 1914 01:37:56,685 --> 01:37:57,717 Uzi time, baby. 1915 01:37:57,718 --> 01:37:59,285 Uzi time, baby. 1916 01:37:59,286 --> 01:38:00,853 Look alive! 1917 01:38:09,224 --> 01:38:11,193 - I think I'm hit. - No shit. 1918 01:38:11,194 --> 01:38:11,962 You did that on purpose. 1919 01:38:11,963 --> 01:38:14,031 I did no such thing! 1920 01:38:14,032 --> 01:38:14,767 Listen to me, gorgeous. 1921 01:38:14,768 --> 01:38:16,836 How long does it take for you to regenerate? 1922 01:38:16,837 --> 01:38:18,772 Regenerate? 1923 01:38:23,469 --> 01:38:25,647 You really are God's perfect idiot, aren't you? 1924 01:38:25,648 --> 01:38:27,275 - I'm okay. - How dare you! 1925 01:38:27,276 --> 01:38:28,946 You insensitive son of a bitch! 1926 01:38:28,947 --> 01:38:31,653 How was I supposed to know he doesn't regenerate? 1927 01:38:31,654 --> 01:38:32,653 I'm not a medicine woman. 1928 01:38:32,654 --> 01:38:35,448 Look. A donut cart. They're practically hospitals. 1929 01:38:35,449 --> 01:38:36,382 - What? - They sell 1930 01:38:36,383 --> 01:38:37,636 - portable triage units. - They don't. 1931 01:38:37,637 --> 01:38:39,715 I'm gonna get you to safety. 1932 01:38:39,716 --> 01:38:41,795 - He's not. - Deep breath. 1933 01:38:49,099 --> 01:38:50,902 Hey, why are we stopping? 1934 01:38:50,903 --> 01:38:52,068 I'm just catching my breath. 1935 01:38:52,069 --> 01:38:55,468 What, are your legs on vacation? You're dead weight! 1936 01:38:55,469 --> 01:38:56,534 That's because I'm paralyzed. 1937 01:38:56,535 --> 01:38:59,615 We all have problems. Listen to me. 1938 01:38:59,616 --> 01:39:01,243 You're gonna live. 1939 01:39:01,650 --> 01:39:03,398 Look at me, Nicepool. 1940 01:39:06,886 --> 01:39:08,855 You're gonna live. 1941 01:39:09,020 --> 01:39:10,724 Say it! 1942 01:39:10,725 --> 01:39:11,857 I'm gonna live. 1943 01:39:11,858 --> 01:39:14,157 Say it with me. You're gonna live. 1944 01:39:14,158 --> 01:39:16,059 I'm gonna live! 1945 01:39:16,060 --> 01:39:20,130 Ha-hah! Say it louder! 1946 01:39:20,131 --> 01:39:22,000 I'm gonna live... 1947 01:39:30,206 --> 01:39:32,274 Hold your fire! 1948 01:39:33,539 --> 01:39:35,651 Sweet little puppy. 1949 01:39:44,660 --> 01:39:46,661 God damn it! 1950 01:39:46,662 --> 01:39:48,664 I don't think he's gonna make it. 1951 01:39:48,665 --> 01:39:50,159 God, he loved his face. 1952 01:39:50,160 --> 01:39:52,998 I can taste his final thought. 1953 01:39:52,999 --> 01:39:54,230 He was so afraid. 1954 01:39:54,231 --> 01:39:55,461 But he died a hero. 1955 01:39:55,462 --> 01:39:57,364 He died from murder, you dumb fuck. 1956 01:39:57,365 --> 01:40:00,401 And all I have to remember him by 1957 01:40:00,566 --> 01:40:02,105 are these two gold-plated, 1958 01:40:02,106 --> 01:40:04,878 50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros. 1959 01:40:04,879 --> 01:40:06,407 This is for him. 1960 01:40:06,539 --> 01:40:07,880 Are you ready? 1961 01:40:07,881 --> 01:40:09,949 I get to kill a hundred yous? 1962 01:40:09,950 --> 01:40:11,785 Fuck yeah, I'm ready. 1963 01:40:11,786 --> 01:40:13,612 Hey, you don't want to see this, bub. 1964 01:40:13,613 --> 01:40:14,513 That's a good girl. 1965 01:40:51,760 --> 01:40:52,958 Holy shit. 1966 01:40:52,959 --> 01:40:55,896 You save the good stuff for special occasions? 1967 01:40:55,897 --> 01:40:56,698 Killing, mostly. 1968 01:40:56,699 --> 01:40:58,162 What's the wind resistance 1969 01:40:58,163 --> 01:40:59,096 on those blowjob handles? 1970 01:40:59,097 --> 01:41:00,999 I'm sorry. 1971 01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:04,036 I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. 1972 01:41:04,037 --> 01:41:05,972 All right, let's do this. 1973 01:41:05,973 --> 01:41:07,875 Maximum effort. 1974 01:41:46,882 --> 01:41:47,749 You're dead. 1975 01:42:13,810 --> 01:42:15,777 Motherfucker. 1976 01:42:15,778 --> 01:42:17,009 I wish I were deaf. 1977 01:42:36,524 --> 01:42:39,461 I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. 1978 01:42:39,462 --> 01:42:41,100 I don't wanna... 1979 01:42:53,982 --> 01:42:55,510 Come on. 1980 01:42:55,511 --> 01:42:56,147 Oh, I blew it. 1981 01:42:56,148 --> 01:42:58,546 After all that, the only thing they're gonna remember 1982 01:42:58,547 --> 01:43:01,186 is that God-awful dismount! 1983 01:43:04,717 --> 01:43:06,961 What you laughing at, you little fucker? 1984 01:43:06,962 --> 01:43:08,226 Uh-oh. 1985 01:43:08,227 --> 01:43:09,909 Uh-oh. 1986 01:43:13,495 --> 01:43:16,003 I guess these ones regenerate. 1987 01:43:16,905 --> 01:43:19,908 Come on. We don't have time for this. 1988 01:43:19,909 --> 01:43:21,074 Deadpools! 1989 01:43:21,075 --> 01:43:22,977 Stand down. 1990 01:43:32,712 --> 01:43:34,186 This Deadpool's with me. 1991 01:43:34,187 --> 01:43:35,451 Oh, no. 1992 01:43:35,452 --> 01:43:36,715 Holy shit. 1993 01:43:36,716 --> 01:43:38,652 That's fuckin' Peter! 1994 01:43:41,061 --> 01:43:42,655 Wait, you... You guys know Peter? 1995 01:43:42,656 --> 01:43:45,065 You kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter. 1996 01:43:45,066 --> 01:43:47,826 Shit. Peter's a goddamn legend 1997 01:43:47,827 --> 01:43:49,564 in every Deadpool's world. 1998 01:43:49,565 --> 01:43:51,873 Peter-san. Hai. 1999 01:43:58,639 --> 01:44:01,278 Peter. Peter. Peter. 2000 01:44:01,279 --> 01:44:04,133 Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. 2001 01:44:04,134 --> 01:44:06,988 Peter. Peter. Peter. 2002 01:44:06,989 --> 01:44:09,319 Enjoy my Peter. 2003 01:44:36,116 --> 01:44:36,841 Oh, now you're here. 2004 01:44:36,842 --> 01:44:38,778 Oh, well, you're too late. It's all over. 2005 01:44:38,779 --> 01:44:39,481 Not yet, it's not. 2006 01:44:39,482 --> 01:44:41,550 Whoa. No, no, no. We're very close. 2007 01:44:41,551 --> 01:44:42,952 Homestretch, folks. Promise. 2008 01:44:42,953 --> 01:44:44,354 Quick, let's up the stakes. 2009 01:44:44,355 --> 01:44:45,553 If she steals the Time Ripper's energy, 2010 01:44:45,554 --> 01:44:48,392 she has the power to shred the fabric of all realities 2011 01:44:48,393 --> 01:44:50,658 until there is nothing left but The Void. 2012 01:44:50,659 --> 01:44:52,033 How do we shut it down? 2013 01:44:52,034 --> 01:44:53,132 I don't know. 2014 01:44:54,662 --> 01:44:55,497 How about now? 2015 01:44:55,498 --> 01:44:57,549 The mask is really intimidating, huh? 2016 01:44:57,550 --> 01:44:59,601 It's like Batman, except he can move his neck. 2017 01:44:59,602 --> 01:45:01,734 Okay, look, look, look. 2018 01:45:01,735 --> 01:45:04,787 The Ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground. 2019 01:45:04,788 --> 01:45:07,840 It is powered by twin matter and anti-matter feeds 2020 01:45:07,841 --> 01:45:09,479 converging inside the device. 2021 01:45:09,480 --> 01:45:10,281 Now, Cassandra Nova 2022 01:45:10,282 --> 01:45:11,480 is redirecting the Ripper's power 2023 01:45:11,481 --> 01:45:13,780 to eliminate all timelines, starting with this one. 2024 01:45:13,781 --> 01:45:14,846 Theoretically, you could stop her 2025 01:45:14,847 --> 01:45:16,749 by short-circuiting the feeds in the chamber below. 2026 01:45:16,750 --> 01:45:19,588 One of you were to create a circuit between the two feeds, 2027 01:45:19,589 --> 01:45:22,206 then the released power would destroy the machine. 2028 01:45:22,207 --> 01:45:24,824 - But, well... But... - Come on, man. 2029 01:45:24,825 --> 01:45:26,825 If you're not gonna swallow, spit it out. 2030 01:45:26,826 --> 01:45:30,797 Whoever formed the bridge would be annihilated. 2031 01:45:30,798 --> 01:45:31,533 I could live with that. 2032 01:45:31,534 --> 01:45:32,969 Yeah, I could live with that, too, actually. 2033 01:45:32,970 --> 01:45:34,369 You know, we survive anything. We're like cockroaches. 2034 01:45:34,370 --> 01:45:35,769 Not this time. 2035 01:45:35,770 --> 01:45:37,979 This is matter and anti-matter. 2036 01:45:37,980 --> 01:45:39,805 They do not play nicely with each other. 2037 01:45:39,806 --> 01:45:42,610 When they mix in your body, you will be atomized. 2038 01:45:42,611 --> 01:45:45,415 Trust the laws of physics if you don't trust me. 2039 01:45:45,416 --> 01:45:48,221 Even if you lived long enough to make the circuit, 2040 01:45:48,222 --> 01:45:51,719 you will die down there. 2041 01:46:16,018 --> 01:46:17,414 Hold off. Hold. 2042 01:46:17,415 --> 01:46:18,646 You heard that asshole upstairs. 2043 01:46:18,647 --> 01:46:23,619 Even if we pull this off, we're dead. Permanently. 2044 01:46:23,620 --> 01:46:26,919 - That's why it's got to be me. - What? 2045 01:46:29,922 --> 01:46:31,791 Look, man... 2046 01:46:31,792 --> 01:46:34,531 you didn't ask for any of this. 2047 01:46:34,532 --> 01:46:36,038 You were right. 2048 01:46:36,039 --> 01:46:37,566 I lied. 2049 01:46:37,567 --> 01:46:38,897 I lied right to your face 2050 01:46:38,898 --> 01:46:42,143 just to get you to help me. And you did. 2051 01:46:42,539 --> 01:46:44,640 You didn't lie. 2052 01:46:45,674 --> 01:46:47,940 You made an educated wish. 2053 01:46:50,613 --> 01:46:52,009 Come on. 2054 01:46:52,010 --> 01:46:55,013 You got a whole world to go back to. 2055 01:46:55,948 --> 01:46:57,719 I got nothin'. 2056 01:46:59,094 --> 01:47:00,854 I got nothin'. 2057 01:47:05,133 --> 01:47:06,893 Give me this. 2058 01:47:13,537 --> 01:47:15,110 Hey. 2059 01:47:18,410 --> 01:47:21,380 I waited a long time for this team-up. 2060 01:47:22,942 --> 01:47:24,878 You know something? 2061 01:47:25,813 --> 01:47:28,502 You were the best Wolverine. 2062 01:47:36,054 --> 01:47:38,925 Say hi to your friends for me. 2063 01:47:50,706 --> 01:47:51,607 No! 2064 01:47:51,608 --> 01:47:52,245 Open the door! 2065 01:47:52,246 --> 01:47:54,941 I can't hear you over all the noble sacrifice. 2066 01:47:54,942 --> 01:47:56,513 Why are you fucking doing this? 2067 01:47:56,514 --> 01:48:00,683 Because I'm Marvel Jesus. 2068 01:48:01,750 --> 01:48:03,257 Or Spock. 2069 01:48:03,917 --> 01:48:05,385 Hard to say. 2070 01:48:09,527 --> 01:48:11,644 Wade! 2071 01:48:11,645 --> 01:48:13,762 You fucking idiot! 2072 01:48:16,435 --> 01:48:19,471 Sorry, I'm just stalling. 2073 01:48:19,472 --> 01:48:22,375 I think I'm nervous about dying. 2074 01:48:22,606 --> 01:48:23,672 This should be me. 2075 01:48:23,673 --> 01:48:26,104 Say hi to my friends for me, peanut. 2076 01:48:26,105 --> 01:48:26,807 Wade! 2077 01:48:26,808 --> 01:48:28,942 You want to be an annoying prick, do it this side! 2078 01:48:28,943 --> 01:48:31,681 You're gonna die in there, you dumb fuck! 2079 01:48:38,083 --> 01:48:39,952 Hey! You don't need to do this. 2080 01:48:39,953 --> 01:48:43,022 I'm not doing it 'cause I need it. 2081 01:48:43,023 --> 01:48:45,827 I'm doing it because they do. 2082 01:48:56,673 --> 01:48:58,279 No! 2083 01:49:26,868 --> 01:49:29,134 He's not gonna make it. 2084 01:49:37,219 --> 01:49:38,979 It's over. 2085 01:50:45,551 --> 01:50:48,135 The Wolverine. 2086 01:50:48,136 --> 01:50:50,721 He's a hero in my world. 2087 01:50:51,557 --> 01:50:53,218 Whoever you think I am, 2088 01:50:53,219 --> 01:50:55,363 you got the wrong guy. 2089 01:50:55,594 --> 01:50:58,762 You were always the wrong guy... 2090 01:50:59,499 --> 01:51:00,334 till you weren't. 2091 01:51:02,998 --> 01:51:04,096 Wade. 2092 01:51:06,033 --> 01:51:10,642 Wade. You can finally, finally matter. 2093 01:51:27,121 --> 01:51:27,823 Vanessa. 2094 01:51:30,597 --> 01:51:31,398 I wanna see Vanessa. 2095 01:51:37,768 --> 01:51:43,807 For the first time in my life, I am proud to wear this suit. 2096 01:51:44,071 --> 01:51:46,711 It means I'm an X-Man. 2097 01:51:48,581 --> 01:51:49,548 I am the X-Man. 2098 01:52:34,088 --> 01:52:36,255 Paradox. 2099 01:52:37,465 --> 01:52:38,795 You've been busy. 2100 01:52:38,796 --> 01:52:39,631 Well, somebody had to be. 2101 01:52:39,632 --> 01:52:41,799 We had some strange readings from this location. 2102 01:52:41,800 --> 01:52:42,865 You wouldn't know anything about 2103 01:52:42,866 --> 01:52:44,983 an unsanctioned Time Ripper, would you? 2104 01:52:44,984 --> 01:52:46,911 Uh, no. No. I wouldn't know anything 2105 01:52:46,912 --> 01:52:48,892 about an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2106 01:52:48,893 --> 01:52:50,874 Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova. 2107 01:52:50,875 --> 01:52:51,643 Because I was assured 2108 01:52:51,644 --> 01:52:54,042 that she was safely held in The Void. But no, 2109 01:52:54,043 --> 01:52:55,977 she was here. And she fondled my brain. 2110 01:52:55,978 --> 01:52:58,717 - How did you let this happen? - You weren't involved at all? 2111 01:52:58,718 --> 01:53:01,786 In stopping her, yes! Yes, I was. 2112 01:53:01,787 --> 01:53:02,720 But not nearly enough. 2113 01:53:02,721 --> 01:53:06,428 Not as much as the men who went down there after her. 2114 01:53:06,758 --> 01:53:08,221 My men. 2115 01:53:08,496 --> 01:53:10,025 My friends. 2116 01:53:10,762 --> 01:53:11,388 I warned them. 2117 01:53:11,389 --> 01:53:13,193 That they would be completely obliterated if they went. 2118 01:53:13,194 --> 01:53:15,767 But they went anyway. Like... 2119 01:53:16,867 --> 01:53:17,966 Like heroes. 2120 01:53:20,134 --> 01:53:22,301 Because that's who they were. 2121 01:53:23,973 --> 01:53:26,745 They just did what they had to do. 2122 01:53:26,844 --> 01:53:29,748 With no concern for their own safety. 2123 01:53:31,915 --> 01:53:35,688 The fact that we are all still standing here 2124 01:53:35,689 --> 01:53:39,417 is a testament to their heroism. 2125 01:53:41,991 --> 01:53:43,762 Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do 2126 01:53:43,763 --> 01:53:45,665 to bring them back now. 2127 01:53:46,160 --> 01:53:48,833 He has risen, baby girl. 2128 01:53:48,834 --> 01:53:49,327 Fuck! 2129 01:54:06,626 --> 01:54:09,787 Found your new Anchor Being. 2130 01:54:09,788 --> 01:54:12,559 And we're doing just fine, you piece of shit. 2131 01:54:12,560 --> 01:54:14,826 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 2132 01:54:14,827 --> 01:54:15,595 Fine indeed. 2133 01:54:15,596 --> 01:54:19,127 All right. Put your greasy tits away, 2134 01:54:19,128 --> 01:54:19,995 you preening slut. 2135 01:54:19,996 --> 01:54:21,711 I don't understand. 2136 01:54:21,712 --> 01:54:23,427 How are you two still alive? 2137 01:54:23,428 --> 01:54:25,804 You were right. One of us would have been killed. 2138 01:54:25,805 --> 01:54:27,806 But you put a Deadpool 2139 01:54:27,807 --> 01:54:28,641 and a Wolverine together, 2140 01:54:28,642 --> 01:54:31,513 make 'em hold hands while listening to Madonna... 2141 01:54:31,514 --> 01:54:33,580 indestructible, motherfucker. 2142 01:54:33,581 --> 01:54:35,913 Let's get this Deadpool Variant back to The Void. 2143 01:54:35,914 --> 01:54:37,475 Wait, hold on. What? 2144 01:54:37,476 --> 01:54:38,475 Nope. Actually... 2145 01:54:38,476 --> 01:54:40,555 This one's homegrown, like me. 2146 01:54:40,556 --> 01:54:41,517 He belongs here. 2147 01:54:41,518 --> 01:54:42,479 And you are? 2148 01:54:42,480 --> 01:54:46,220 Peterpool. But you can call me Peter. 2149 01:54:47,056 --> 01:54:49,025 And I hope that you do. 2150 01:54:54,129 --> 01:54:56,098 What the fuck is happening here? 2151 01:54:56,099 --> 01:54:57,494 You are under judgment 2152 01:54:57,495 --> 01:54:59,706 for operating an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2153 01:54:59,707 --> 01:55:01,070 - Take him. - I was just doing what 2154 01:55:01,071 --> 01:55:02,874 you don't have the guts to do. 2155 01:55:03,611 --> 01:55:07,406 Get your insolent hands off me! Get off! 2156 01:55:07,945 --> 01:55:10,343 I'm grateful, gentlemen. 2157 01:55:10,552 --> 01:55:11,277 Let's hold the bows. 2158 01:55:11,278 --> 01:55:13,819 You led an Omega-level mutant to this timeline. 2159 01:55:13,820 --> 01:55:15,436 - You're welcome. - And you 2160 01:55:15,437 --> 01:55:17,515 shouldn't even be near this timeline. 2161 01:55:17,516 --> 01:55:19,594 - He's welcome. - And you 2162 01:55:19,595 --> 01:55:21,695 look damn good in that suit. 2163 01:55:21,696 --> 01:55:23,356 I'm so sorry. 2164 01:55:26,931 --> 01:55:29,362 I wanna show you something. 2165 01:55:29,901 --> 01:55:30,494 Something huge. 2166 01:55:30,495 --> 01:55:33,707 That's what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say. 2167 01:55:34,675 --> 01:55:35,972 Do you see that? 2168 01:55:35,973 --> 01:55:38,679 Your universe is regenerating. 2169 01:55:38,844 --> 01:55:40,504 Whatever you did here, 2170 01:55:40,505 --> 01:55:42,682 you not only saved your world. 2171 01:55:42,683 --> 01:55:46,181 You spared your timeline from extinction. 2172 01:55:47,512 --> 01:55:48,116 I'd rest up. 2173 01:55:48,117 --> 01:55:50,724 I have a feeling your work is only just getting started. 2174 01:55:50,725 --> 01:55:53,551 Till you're 90. 2175 01:55:53,552 --> 01:55:54,419 Wait! Um... 2176 01:55:54,420 --> 01:55:58,292 We couldn't have made it out of The Void without some help 2177 01:55:58,293 --> 01:56:01,900 from some people that the world kind of... 2178 01:56:01,901 --> 01:56:02,493 kind of forgot. 2179 01:56:02,494 --> 01:56:05,739 Is there any way that you could maybe find a way 2180 01:56:05,740 --> 01:56:07,741 to bring them home? 2181 01:56:08,676 --> 01:56:09,467 I'll see what I can do. 2182 01:56:09,468 --> 01:56:12,487 And, um, I promised my friend here 2183 01:56:12,488 --> 01:56:15,507 that the TVA could undo some pretty awful shit 2184 01:56:15,508 --> 01:56:16,144 in his timeline. 2185 01:56:16,145 --> 01:56:17,916 What would you say to that? 2186 01:56:17,917 --> 01:56:18,850 Change the past? 2187 01:56:18,851 --> 01:56:21,117 Well, he did help me save the world. 2188 01:56:21,118 --> 01:56:24,758 And his past made him the man who did it. 2189 01:56:24,759 --> 01:56:28,157 There's nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson. 2190 01:56:29,092 --> 01:56:30,764 Logan. 2191 01:56:32,931 --> 01:56:35,967 - Shawarma? Yeah. - I could eat. 2192 01:56:44,470 --> 01:56:48,078 You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma. 2193 01:56:48,079 --> 01:56:50,784 They'd be lucky to have you. 2194 01:56:57,120 --> 01:56:59,727 - Oh. - Oh, come on. 2195 01:56:59,728 --> 01:57:01,256 Fuck off! 2196 01:57:01,553 --> 01:57:02,861 Come here, my little cunchkin. 2197 01:57:02,862 --> 01:57:04,732 Yes, it's you. 2198 01:57:04,733 --> 01:57:06,965 You're a survivor. 2199 01:57:06,966 --> 01:57:07,624 Mwah. 2200 01:57:07,625 --> 01:57:10,298 Oh, all is right in the world. 2201 01:57:11,002 --> 01:57:12,740 Yes, it is. 2202 01:57:13,532 --> 01:57:15,710 So what are you gonna do next? 2203 01:57:16,007 --> 01:57:19,208 I'll figure it out. I always do. 2204 01:57:19,505 --> 01:57:21,110 All right. 2205 01:57:21,111 --> 01:57:22,408 So I'll probably see you around? 2206 01:57:27,887 --> 01:57:29,647 Probably not. 2207 01:57:32,155 --> 01:57:33,926 See you, bub. 2208 01:57:42,836 --> 01:57:44,662 Logan. 2209 01:57:50,503 --> 01:57:52,037 Al. I'm back. 2210 01:57:52,038 --> 01:57:53,571 About damn time. 2211 01:57:53,572 --> 01:57:56,608 You holdin'? I'm all outta devil's dandruff, 2212 01:57:56,609 --> 01:57:58,918 and I'm shaking like an angry vibrator. 2213 01:57:58,919 --> 01:58:01,723 Thank you, Al. We have company. 2214 01:58:01,724 --> 01:58:03,224 Althea, this is... 2215 01:58:03,225 --> 01:58:04,725 This is Logan. 2216 01:58:04,726 --> 01:58:07,640 - Nice to meet you, Logan. - Nice to meet you, too. 2217 01:58:07,641 --> 01:58:10,556 And this little ancient anal shit-knot is Mary Puppins. 2218 01:58:10,557 --> 01:58:12,832 Or as I like to call her, Dogpool. 2219 01:58:12,833 --> 01:58:15,934 You want to treat yourself to a little stroke? 2220 01:58:15,935 --> 01:58:19,735 - Get the tongue. There it is. - Oh, my God! Motherfucker! 2221 01:58:19,736 --> 01:58:23,536 Right? It's like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, 2222 01:58:23,537 --> 01:58:25,108 - in a bed of gonorrhea... - Wow. 2223 01:58:25,109 --> 01:58:28,673 and didn't stop till the sun came up. 2224 01:58:28,882 --> 01:58:30,542 Everyone wants to matter. 2225 01:58:30,543 --> 01:58:34,151 Turns out that you don't need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. 2226 01:58:34,152 --> 01:58:37,924 You just need to open your eyes and look around. 2227 01:58:37,925 --> 01:58:39,826 And if you're lucky, 2228 01:58:39,827 --> 01:58:41,961 you'll find a few friends. 2229 01:58:41,962 --> 01:58:43,863 Old friends, 2230 01:58:43,864 --> 01:58:46,394 and some new ones too. 2231 01:58:49,870 --> 01:58:53,137 Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl. 2232 01:59:03,114 --> 01:59:03,982 Oh, hi. 2233 01:59:03,983 --> 01:59:05,918 Hi. 2234 01:59:07,800 --> 01:59:09,681 You've been busy. 2235 01:59:11,925 --> 01:59:14,158 I did it for you. 2236 01:59:14,653 --> 01:59:18,624 And even if you don't want me, I... I did it for you. 2237 01:59:27,171 --> 01:59:28,633 Turns out, 2238 01:59:28,634 --> 01:59:30,404 I am the world-saving type. 2239 01:59:30,405 --> 01:59:33,980 Just look around this table if you want proof. 2240 01:59:34,079 --> 01:59:35,816 And the best part? 2241 01:59:35,817 --> 01:59:38,710 Sometimes the people we save, 2242 01:59:38,711 --> 01:59:40,117 they save us right back. 2243 02:00:19,927 --> 02:00:22,820 You're not the only one with gifts. 2244 02:00:22,821 --> 02:00:24,789 What is this place? 2245 02:00:52,653 --> 02:00:54,186 - Nice suit. - Zip it, Stan Lee. 2246 02:01:03,300 --> 02:01:05,516 I really like the, uh... the art in the Deadpool comics. 2247 02:01:05,517 --> 02:01:07,977 You know, I just always felt a kind of a kinship to him. 2248 02:01:07,978 --> 02:01:10,438 And I just thought, I'd like to play that guy someday. 2249 02:01:39,138 --> 02:01:43,043 I was there for three weeks before I shot a single thing. 2250 02:01:43,044 --> 02:01:45,441 At our first day of shooting, 2251 02:01:45,442 --> 02:01:46,771 I was so nervous, man. 2252 02:01:46,772 --> 02:01:48,983 Everyone was sort of going, "Who's this guy?" 2253 02:01:48,984 --> 02:01:50,847 You know, there was a lot of that and, 2254 02:01:50,848 --> 02:01:53,330 you know, "Is he gonna deliver or not?" 2255 02:01:53,331 --> 02:01:55,813 You can feel all that kind of pressure. 2256 02:01:55,814 --> 02:02:00,390 It's always the suit's fault. Never the actor. 2257 02:02:08,101 --> 02:02:09,299 - This is... - The only way. 2258 02:02:18,772 --> 02:02:22,049 Ah, so this is what it feels like. 2259 02:02:23,809 --> 02:02:25,343 And there's the lights. 2260 02:02:25,344 --> 02:02:26,877 For medical research. 2261 02:02:26,878 --> 02:02:29,452 - Bye-bye, video. - Bye. 2262 02:06:42,507 --> 02:06:45,807 I'm tired of these absolutely vile rumors 2263 02:06:45,808 --> 02:06:47,875 that I got Johnny killed. 2264 02:06:48,073 --> 02:06:49,976 Let's look at the tape. 2265 02:06:50,581 --> 02:06:51,548 In The Void, 2266 02:06:51,549 --> 02:06:53,749 you're either food for Alioth 2267 02:06:53,750 --> 02:06:55,718 or you work for her. 2268 02:06:57,885 --> 02:06:59,017 Go on, Johnny. 2269 02:06:59,018 --> 02:07:01,152 And I'll tell you who "her" is. 2270 02:07:01,153 --> 02:07:01,756 Cassandra Nova. 2271 02:07:01,757 --> 02:07:03,676 A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole. 2272 02:07:03,677 --> 02:07:05,595 A finger licking dead-inside pixie slab 2273 02:07:05,596 --> 02:07:07,994 of third rate dime-store nut-milk. And I'll tell you 2274 02:07:07,995 --> 02:07:09,748 - what she can do. - I'm listening. 2275 02:07:09,749 --> 02:07:11,307 She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean 2276 02:07:11,308 --> 02:07:12,866 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 2277 02:07:12,867 --> 02:07:15,474 In fact, I don't give a shit if she removes all my skin 2278 02:07:15,475 --> 02:07:18,070 and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon. 2279 02:07:18,071 --> 02:07:18,839 If the last thing I do 2280 02:07:18,840 --> 02:07:20,974 in this godforsaken cum-gutter existence 2281 02:07:20,975 --> 02:07:22,910 is light that fuck-box on fire, 2282 02:07:22,911 --> 02:07:23,646 I still won't die happy. 2283 02:07:23,647 --> 02:07:24,944 Holy shit, girl. You crazy. 2284 02:07:24,945 --> 02:07:28,179 That's right, Wade. I won't be happy until I've urinated 2285 02:07:28,180 --> 02:07:29,834 on her freshly barbecued corpse 2286 02:07:29,835 --> 02:07:31,630 and husk-fucked the charred remains 2287 02:07:31,631 --> 02:07:33,595 while gargling Juggernaut's juggernuts. 2288 02:07:33,596 --> 02:07:35,560 - Wow! - And you can quote me. 2289 02:07:35,561 --> 02:07:37,259 'Kay. 2290 02:07:37,260 --> 02:07:38,959 Got you, fuckface.