1
00:00:53,308 --> 00:00:54,351
Seventh-grader.

2
00:00:55,269 --> 00:00:57,187
Sounds a lot better than sixth-grader.

3
00:01:00,816 --> 00:01:03,360
This is a Greg thing.
I don't see why I had to come.

4
00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:07,197
Because, Rodrick, this is a family event,

5
00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:09,575
and like it or not,
you're part of the Heffley family.

6
00:01:09,658 --> 00:01:12,786
Yeah.
That and we already paid for your ticket.

7
00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:27,634
I'd like to give a warm welcome
to Westmore seventh-graders!

8
00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:30,095
A new year of school starting.

9
00:01:32,598 --> 00:01:33,599
Hi!

10
00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:35,642
- Rowley!
- Greg!

11
00:01:43,358 --> 00:01:47,321
Alakazam! Alaka-zoo-wee Mama!

12
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,490
- What are you doing?
- It's a magic wand.

13
00:01:50,657 --> 00:01:51,700
Do you want to see a trick?

14
00:01:51,783 --> 00:01:53,869
Only if the trick
is to make the thing disappear.

15
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,792
Just put it in your pocket!

16
00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:03,003
You don't want to give away
your best tricks in public.

17
00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:05,339
So, how was your summer?

18
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:21,647
That sounds pretty rough.

19
00:02:21,939 --> 00:02:25,067
The only good thing that happened
was I got rid of the Cheese Touch.

20
00:02:25,442 --> 00:02:28,445
- Who'd you give it to?
- The new kid. Jeremy Pindle.

21
00:02:28,946 --> 00:02:31,448
Cheese Touch!

22
00:02:33,992 --> 00:02:36,161
Hey, guys! Anyone for pizza?

23
00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:39,706
Hey! Thanks, Fregley.

24
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,417
You know,

25
00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:46,338
I can't believe people leave
perfectly good food just lying around.

26
00:03:08,777 --> 00:03:10,570
I'll save that...

27
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,407
for later.

28
00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:17,869
Let's skate.

29
00:03:17,953 --> 00:03:21,248
I'd like to give a shout out
to Taylor Pringle!

30
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,874
Oh-oh! Dork alert!

31
00:03:22,958 --> 00:03:25,294
Happy birthday, Taylor! Five years young.

32
00:03:25,711 --> 00:03:27,504
I hope your party's a blast.

33
00:03:27,921 --> 00:03:29,673
Rowley, stop pulling me down!

34
00:03:37,556 --> 00:03:38,765
Who is that?

35
00:03:40,976 --> 00:03:43,812
Her name is Holly Hills.
She just moved here.

36
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:45,772
- What grade is she in?
- Seventh.

37
00:03:45,856 --> 00:03:48,734
She's an all-star soccer player,
has done professional modelling,

38
00:03:48,817 --> 00:03:51,028
and was her sixth-grade class president.

39
00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:54,364
She moved here from Oregon
because her father got a big promotion.

40
00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:56,616
They drive a hybrid SUV,

41
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,911
live on the north side of town
in a cul-de-sac near the park.

42
00:04:01,413 --> 00:04:03,081
What? I Googled her!

43
00:04:03,165 --> 00:04:05,375
She's a picture of loveliness, is she not?

44
00:04:05,459 --> 00:04:07,336
She's almost as pretty as my mom.

45
00:04:07,753 --> 00:04:09,838
She's going to be very popular.

46
00:04:15,469 --> 00:04:17,346
Sit here! Sit here!

47
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:20,682
Please, everyone, sit down.
We have our seats.

48
00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,075
Excuse me.

49
00:04:39,785 --> 00:04:40,771
What?

50
00:04:40,786 --> 00:04:43,497
I said, excuse me.
You're blocking the exit.

51
00:04:44,706 --> 00:04:46,291
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

52
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,294
I'm Chirag Gupta. And I'm single.

53
00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:54,049
- Wow. My name is...
- We know exactly who you are.

54
00:04:54,132 --> 00:04:58,136
- Holly Hills of 432, Embury Lane.
- No, we don't know who you are.

55
00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:00,097
We have no idea who you are.

56
00:05:03,725 --> 00:05:07,521
Okay! Well, I think
I'm going to go skating now.

57
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:12,067
Please congratulate your father
on his promotion from me!

58
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:15,946
"We know exactly who you are"?
You trying to scare her?

59
00:05:16,029 --> 00:05:17,364
Does it really matter?

60
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,991
A girl like that is out of your league
anyway, Gregory.

61
00:05:20,075 --> 00:05:23,161
She's new.
She isn't out of anyone's league yet.

62
00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:25,455
She doesn't know the social pecking order.

63
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:29,960
If there was ever a time for me
to make a move, it's now.

64
00:05:32,087 --> 00:05:33,839
Hey, Greg!

65
00:05:33,922 --> 00:05:36,174
Can you break a leg or something,
so we can leave?

66
00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:44,850
That'll never happen. Not a chance.

67
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:46,935
There's no way
that girl will ever talk to you.

68
00:05:47,936 --> 00:05:51,940
Yeah, well, I just talked to her
and we'll probably skate later.

69
00:05:52,023 --> 00:05:54,234
Really? Okay.

70
00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:56,778
Well, you see that clock?

71
00:05:57,070 --> 00:06:00,490
They play a slow song at the
top of every hour for couples skate.

72
00:06:00,824 --> 00:06:03,994
If you're so confident, ask her to skate.

73
00:06:06,037 --> 00:06:09,207
- Maybe I will.
- What you waiting for, wimp?

74
00:06:09,749 --> 00:06:10,750
You the man!

75
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,507
Look, if we can get out to Holly

76
00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:20,510
and be standing right next to her
when the clock changes,

77
00:06:20,594 --> 00:06:23,263
then I can ask her to skate
and she'll have to say yes.

78
00:06:24,556 --> 00:06:26,725
I don't know about that.

79
00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:39,196
Honey, hi!

80
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,364
Remember when we were young like this...

81
00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:44,618
and we used to dance and go to parties,
and things like that?

82
00:06:55,295 --> 00:06:57,422
I'm going in. Cover me!

83
00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:19,903
All rockers and hardcore skaters
off the rink,

84
00:07:19,986 --> 00:07:24,491
unless you're looking for love.
It's time for couples skate.

85
00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:26,326
I'm making my move.

86
00:07:30,789 --> 00:07:31,789
Stop!

87
00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:38,046
Enough of that total lameness!
Who's ready to rock? Yeah!

88
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:43,760
Come on, let's get out of here. Come on.

89
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:57,315
- What are we gonna do?
- Stay calm.

90
00:07:57,607 --> 00:08:00,110
All we have to do is just stay here.

91
00:08:03,321 --> 00:08:05,574
Rowley! Hang on!

92
00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:12,455
Greg Heffley!

93
00:08:13,957 --> 00:08:15,542
This is your mother.

94
00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:18,878
Everything is going to be okay.

95
00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:22,924
Stay where you are, and your father
is going to come rescue you.

96
00:08:23,008 --> 00:08:26,678
I repeat, everything is going to be okay.

97
00:08:27,095 --> 00:08:30,557
Okay, here he comes. Here comes Frank.
I see him. He's on his way.

98
00:08:31,474 --> 00:08:34,144
- Dad!
- I know, I know.

99
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:38,273
Okay.
All right, everyone, go back to skating!

100
00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:39,858
You all right?

101
00:08:42,402 --> 00:08:45,196
Hey, Romeo, how'd it go with the new girl?

102
00:08:54,914 --> 00:08:57,083
You ruined my birthday!

103
00:08:57,876 --> 00:08:59,210
You jerk!

104
00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:06,343
That hurt!

105
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:22,817
Rodrick!

106
00:09:25,028 --> 00:09:26,196
Here, catch!

107
00:09:33,078 --> 00:09:36,164
Let me start by saying
that having a brother is really overrated.

108
00:09:36,247 --> 00:09:38,416
Rowley always says
he wishes he had a brother...

109
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,877
and, boy, do I wish
I could give him one of mine.

110
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,922
I've looked into it
and, unfortunately, it's not legal.

111
00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:48,134
I mean, Manny has been telling on me
ever since he was able to speak.

112
00:09:48,218 --> 00:09:49,511
Bubby did it.

113
00:09:51,429 --> 00:09:52,472
Bubby did it.

114
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:56,267
- Bubby did it.
- Greg!

115
00:09:56,768 --> 00:09:59,020
And Rodrick is the king of laziness.

116
00:09:59,104 --> 00:10:01,106
Except when it comes to torturing me.

117
00:10:05,193 --> 00:10:08,488
My mom has started writing
an advice column for the local paper.

118
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,031
She wrote an article last week

119
00:10:10,115 --> 00:10:13,076
about how your brothers
will always be there for you.

120
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,995
Well, that's exactly what I'm afraid of.

121
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:21,668
Hey, Bubby.

122
00:10:24,045 --> 00:10:25,755
- Got to go, Mom.
- Later, Mom.

123
00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:27,006
- Yeah, see you, hon.
- Okay, okay, wait.

124
00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:28,591
Hold on. Wait a second.

125
00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:30,719
I need a moment for a family meeting.

126
00:10:31,886 --> 00:10:34,764
Now, your father and I have been talking.

127
00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:38,935
Things between the two of you
have really gotten out of hand.

128
00:10:39,477 --> 00:10:41,855
- Can I just say...
- You may not realize it now,

129
00:10:41,938 --> 00:10:46,025
but having a brother is one of the most
important relationships of your life.

130
00:10:46,735 --> 00:10:48,695
I mean, one day
you're gonna be Uncle Greg

131
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,655
and Uncle Rodrick to each other's kids.

132
00:10:51,072 --> 00:10:54,325
That's important.
So you need to get to know each other.

133
00:10:54,409 --> 00:10:55,353
What?

134
00:10:55,368 --> 00:10:57,912
- You need to spend more time together.
- What?

135
00:10:57,996 --> 00:11:00,415
So that's why I've come up
with a new program

136
00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:04,377
that's going to reward you
for spending time together.

137
00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,797
I'm calling it...

138
00:11:08,882 --> 00:11:10,258
"Mom Bucks."

139
00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:13,261
- You're paying us with fake money?
- Yeah.

140
00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:16,389
Okay, now, for every hour
that you spend together without fighting,

141
00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:20,477
for example, let's say
you give Greg a drum lesson,

142
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,896
you each earn a Mom Buck,

143
00:11:22,979 --> 00:11:26,191
which you can then trade in
for one real dollar.

144
00:11:27,484 --> 00:11:30,904
So, to start you off,
I'm giving you each five Mom Bucks.

145
00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:35,200
Now, if you're smart,
you'll save up your Mom Bucks...

146
00:11:35,283 --> 00:11:36,283
Can I cash out now?

147
00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:41,956
- Well, Rodrick, if you save...
- But can I cash out?

148
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,877
- Yes, but...
- I want to cash out.

149
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,420
- Frank?
- I know.

150
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:52,258
Okay. Yes, you can. All right.

151
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,263
Okay. All right, great.
We should get going,

152
00:11:57,347 --> 00:11:59,349
because you don't want
to be late for school. All right?

153
00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:01,643
Let's go. Okay, all right.

154
00:12:02,185 --> 00:12:05,563
This Mom Bucks thing
is a gold mine, muchacho.

155
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,190
You better not ruin it for me.

156
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,818
Most kids hate it when summer ends,

157
00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:14,280
but I have to say, right now,
school is starting to look pretty good.

158
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:26,626
Welcome back.

159
00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:28,044
Welcome back.

160
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:33,466
It's nice not to be
the new kids this year.

161
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,801
- I agree.
- I know.

162
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,803
Look at all the tiny sixth-graders.

163
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:39,013
I'm so glad that's not me this year.

164
00:12:39,097 --> 00:12:40,849
Just a little higher.
Just a little higher.

165
00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:46,229
Whoa! Greg! Look who's in our class.

166
00:12:49,524 --> 00:12:52,443
This was my chance.
If I could sit next to Holly,

167
00:12:52,527 --> 00:12:54,779
I'd have the whole year
to show her how great I am.

168
00:12:55,446 --> 00:12:56,656
No way, Greg Heffley.

169
00:12:57,490 --> 00:13:01,035
- This is my seat.
- No, it's not. I was here first.

170
00:13:03,872 --> 00:13:05,123
It's mine!

171
00:13:05,206 --> 00:13:06,206
Let go!

172
00:13:06,249 --> 00:13:08,126
You know I'm stronger than you,
Greg Heffley.

173
00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,879
Don't make me beat you up again!

174
00:13:10,962 --> 00:13:12,297
Let's get something straight.

175
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,674
I was sick that day
and I had something in my eye.

176
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:16,551
Well!

177
00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:20,805
I've never had students so eager
to start the school year.

178
00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:23,391
- What's going on?
- This is my seat!

179
00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:27,186
Okay, let's start again.
What are your names?

180
00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:31,733
Patty Farrell, two Rs, two Is.

181
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:36,821
Greg Heffley.

182
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:39,741
Greg Heffley.

183
00:13:40,742 --> 00:13:44,120
Would you be related to Rodrick Heffley?

184
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:07,518
I've got my eye on you, Heffley.

185
00:14:12,774 --> 00:14:14,609
There's no way to escape.

186
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:21,783
It's unbelievable! Even at school,
Rodrick is ruining my life.

187
00:14:23,910 --> 00:14:24,911
He might hear you.

188
00:14:25,954 --> 00:14:27,664
Nah. Watch.

189
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:31,626
Holy cow!

190
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,920
He once slept through an entire day.

191
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:36,631
Do you have an amazing talent
that you'd like to share?

192
00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:41,386
Today, Plainview City Council
announced a brand-new local contest:

193
00:14:41,469 --> 00:14:43,137
Plainview's Most Talented.

194
00:14:43,221 --> 00:14:46,849
- Hey, Greg! Maybe we should...
- Can it, Chunky Cheese!

195
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:50,353
Westmore is absolutely
packed to the roof with talent.

196
00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:52,647
The top prize is $1,000 and, of course,

197
00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:54,774
the admiration of your friends
and neighbours.

198
00:14:54,857 --> 00:14:58,194
This is huge. I gotta call the band.
We gotta practice.

199
00:14:58,277 --> 00:15:00,905
- This is gonna be our big break!
- Wait a second.

200
00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:03,491
- Aren't you forgetting something?
- What?

201
00:15:03,574 --> 00:15:06,786
- I showered yesterday. Smell.
- Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

202
00:15:06,869 --> 00:15:10,248
We agreed
that you'd give a drum lesson to Greg.

203
00:15:10,665 --> 00:15:12,750
- You were serious?
- Who knows?

204
00:15:13,209 --> 00:15:15,795
Maybe you guys will really like it
and we can form a family band.

205
00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:40,153
Rodrick says he's a professional musician,

206
00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:42,739
but as far as I know
the only money he's made,

207
00:15:42,822 --> 00:15:45,950
is when Dad gave him five bucks once
to stop playing.

208
00:15:46,034 --> 00:15:47,952
When do we get to play the real drums?

209
00:15:48,619 --> 00:15:50,329
Like I'd ever let you touch them!

210
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:52,832
Watch and learn, earthworm!

211
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,754
Hey, I was thinking
we should enter the talent show.

212
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:00,256
I could do my magic act
and you could be my assistant.

213
00:16:00,339 --> 00:16:01,799
Assistant? No way.

214
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:06,596
Doing magic tricks is bad enough.
Assisting the guy doing the tricks?

215
00:16:07,013 --> 00:16:09,182
I'd never make it to eighth grade.

216
00:16:21,819 --> 00:16:24,405
- What?
- Hey, a cookie.

217
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:27,867
- Manny, what have you done?
- I'm only three.

218
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:30,036
What's going on? What did you do to him?

219
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,121
Nothing! He ruined my video game.

220
00:16:32,914 --> 00:16:35,750
He didn't do anything on purpose.
Did you, honey?

221
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:39,045
- No, I didn't.
- No, he didn't. He's only three.

222
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,755
I'm only three!

223
00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:43,800
Okay, let's go, sweetie.
You want another cookie?

224
00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:45,343
It's so unfair.

225
00:16:45,426 --> 00:16:47,678
I have Rodrick making my life a misery
on one side,

226
00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:49,097
and Manny attacking me from the other.

227
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:52,433
And I'm the only one
who seems to get blamed for anything.

228
00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:55,853
I wonder what it'd be like to have
a family that actually loves me.

229
00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:57,814
Little boy!

230
00:16:58,439 --> 00:17:01,567
We're a very rich couple with no children
and so much love to share.

231
00:17:02,443 --> 00:17:04,362
Won't you come be part of our family?

232
00:17:04,779 --> 00:17:07,782
Finally!
Someone I can leave my billions to.

233
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:13,162
India? Why would you go there?

234
00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:17,250
India is fascinating.
It's the jewel of Southeast Asia.

235
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:21,170
My father has business to take care of,
so he's taking the whole family.

236
00:17:21,504 --> 00:17:24,924
Can you bring me back a cobra?
I want to teach it to dance!

237
00:17:30,388 --> 00:17:33,474
Wake up!
What are you guys doing over there?

238
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,602
Get the ball! Get the ball, kick it!

239
00:17:38,354 --> 00:17:40,565
- Kick it!
- Kick it!

240
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,069
Patty Farrell, you are the man!

241
00:17:48,281 --> 00:17:51,784
Nice running, Heffley.
Just have to work on the direction.

242
00:17:55,746 --> 00:18:00,418
Wow. Holly Hills is better than Bryce.
And he's an all-star!

243
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:03,629
Well, I'm sure your soccer skills
made a great impression on her.

244
00:18:03,921 --> 00:18:06,674
- Go strike while the iron is hot.
- You'll see.

245
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:11,387
When you come back from India,
she'll be hanging out with me.

246
00:18:12,972 --> 00:18:14,765
I would love for that to be true, Gregory.

247
00:18:15,057 --> 00:18:18,227
It would provide hope
for smaller boys everywhere,

248
00:18:18,311 --> 00:18:21,606
but girls like that just
don't hang out with guys like us.

249
00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:30,615
So, listen, you don't have to worry
about being in my magic show anymore

250
00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:33,451
'cause I got Scotty from my karate class
to be my assistant.

251
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:35,953
Scotty? Isn't he like, eight?

252
00:18:36,621 --> 00:18:38,664
He'll be eight.

253
00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:44,170
- Get in.
- Why?

254
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,338
What are you doing here?

255
00:18:45,421 --> 00:18:48,424
Mom said she'll pay Mom Bucks
if I drive you home from school.

256
00:18:49,842 --> 00:18:50,842
We'd rather walk.

257
00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:53,471
Get in! Now!

258
00:18:55,848 --> 00:18:59,185
- What happened to the seats?
- I needed the room for my new equipment.

259
00:19:01,646 --> 00:19:05,733
- How'd you have the money for that?
- You know, Mom Bucks.

260
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:09,779
There's no way. He only earned like five.

261
00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:17,912
We got to figure out what song
we're playing at the talent contest.

262
00:19:17,995 --> 00:19:19,455
Easy. Devil's Diper.

263
00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:23,334
A ballad? Really, dude?
We got to lift them out of their seats!

264
00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:24,460
I got it.

265
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,505
Exploded Diper!

266
00:19:28,256 --> 00:19:30,675
Slow down, guys! Slow down!

267
00:19:49,568 --> 00:19:51,654
This Mom Bucks thing isn't working out.

268
00:19:51,737 --> 00:19:54,365
Now Rodrick can get paid
for beating me up.

269
00:19:59,453 --> 00:20:01,831
Mom, why are you
writing about me again?

270
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:03,291
It's embarrassing.

271
00:20:03,374 --> 00:20:07,169
What? You know how important
honesty is to me.

272
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,005
And, Rowley, good news.

273
00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:11,048
I called your mom
and she gave her permission

274
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:13,259
for you to come with us
to Rockin' Rapids next weekend.

275
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,886
Two days
on the biggest water slides in the world!

276
00:20:15,970 --> 00:20:16,971
It's gonna be great!

277
00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:21,600
Thank you, Mrs. Heffley,

278
00:20:21,684 --> 00:20:25,271
but I think I'd like to stay home
and practice my magic act.

279
00:20:30,401 --> 00:20:32,486
I just want to perfect my art.

280
00:20:35,031 --> 00:20:36,699
Come on, let's go upstairs.

281
00:20:36,991 --> 00:20:38,701
Mom, can I use your computer
for homework?

282
00:20:39,577 --> 00:20:41,370
For homework, right?

283
00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:43,831
Yeah. Definitely. Homework only.

284
00:20:44,957 --> 00:20:46,208
I'm sorry, Bubby.

285
00:20:47,752 --> 00:20:49,128
What's this?

286
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,172
It's a gift from Manny.

287
00:20:51,255 --> 00:20:53,799
He made it for you
because he wanted to say he was sorry

288
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:57,094
for breaking your video game.
Isn't that cute?

289
00:20:57,553 --> 00:21:00,056
It looks dangerous.
What if I sat on that thing?

290
00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:02,725
Greg! What are you doing?

291
00:21:04,685 --> 00:21:06,479
Tell Manny you love his gift.

292
00:21:11,692 --> 00:21:14,111
You're so lucky
you don't have any brothers.

293
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:16,655
You're kind of like my brother.

294
00:21:17,031 --> 00:21:20,368
And shouldn't we be looking up things
for your 100 Years Ago" assignment?

295
00:21:23,037 --> 00:21:25,206
She looks like she was born 100 years ago.

296
00:21:31,837 --> 00:21:34,757
I hope she's okay.
She sounded pretty hurt.

297
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,094
Are you kidding me? She's famous,
and I heard she's a millionaire.

298
00:21:40,763 --> 00:21:41,889
I would love to be her!

299
00:21:42,348 --> 00:21:44,308
- You do know she was faking it?
- Really?

300
00:21:44,392 --> 00:21:47,686
Of course.
Anyone can be an internet sensation.

301
00:21:48,145 --> 00:21:49,772
- We could.
- I'm listening.

302
00:21:49,855 --> 00:21:51,690
You just have to work with what you got.

303
00:22:16,257 --> 00:22:18,759
Okay, three, two, one, fall.

304
00:22:25,266 --> 00:22:27,435
It looks fake. It has to look real.

305
00:22:27,518 --> 00:22:30,438
But how do I fake it
if I'm actually falling backwards?

306
00:22:30,521 --> 00:22:32,731
Maybe you need a gimmick,
so people notice you.

307
00:22:36,026 --> 00:22:37,695
Wear this on your head.

308
00:22:40,614 --> 00:22:41,740
Now, do it again.

309
00:22:41,824 --> 00:22:44,493
Why can't you be the one
that falls backwards in the chair?

310
00:22:44,577 --> 00:22:47,204
Because I'm not the one
wearing the underwear on my head.

311
00:22:51,834 --> 00:22:54,712
Remember when I broke my arm?
That didn't feel good at...

312
00:22:58,591 --> 00:23:03,304
I can't believe you sat on the
tinfoil ball! We're going to be rich!

313
00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:07,308
Okay, Rowley. Hold still. Oy!

314
00:23:24,241 --> 00:23:27,119
My computer was supposed to be
for homework only.

315
00:23:27,203 --> 00:23:30,039
You lied to me.
You know how I feel about that.

316
00:23:30,915 --> 00:23:33,709
Mom, from now on, I'll be 100% honest.

317
00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:35,544
Well, that lasted about a week.

318
00:23:35,628 --> 00:23:39,173
Mom somehow didn't appreciate
the completely honest version of me.

319
00:23:39,256 --> 00:23:43,010
- Happy birthday, Grandpa!
- Happy birthday, Grandpa!

320
00:23:43,844 --> 00:23:45,387
Next year, I want a chocolate cake.

321
00:23:45,721 --> 00:23:48,057
That is, if you're alive next year.

322
00:23:48,891 --> 00:23:51,018
- Greg!
- Honesty, Mom!

323
00:23:52,061 --> 00:23:54,772
Mom, it's Mrs. Gillman from the PTA.

324
00:23:56,357 --> 00:23:58,943
- Tell her I'm not here!
- But that would be lying...

325
00:24:00,444 --> 00:24:02,029
I don't do that anymore.

326
00:24:03,948 --> 00:24:07,535
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gillman,
but my mom isn't in the house right now.

327
00:24:12,831 --> 00:24:16,669
On weekends, I try to stay
as far away from my brothers as possible.

328
00:24:16,919 --> 00:24:20,464
But on Sunday morning, I have no choice.

329
00:24:22,716 --> 00:24:24,134
Poopy!

330
00:24:26,971 --> 00:24:29,557
Greg! It looks like he has
a candy bar on there.

331
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,933
Manny!

332
00:24:32,726 --> 00:24:35,896
- Frank, you're gonna have to do something.
- Yeah, I'll get a rag.

333
00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,735
- Dad, stop it!
- Hold still!

334
00:24:42,861 --> 00:24:44,321
All right, let me see.

335
00:24:44,655 --> 00:24:46,657
You're fine. Can't even tell.

336
00:24:54,665 --> 00:24:56,750
I'm not going in
with a poop stain on my pants.

337
00:24:56,834 --> 00:24:59,336
Okay, well, you can't skip church.

338
00:24:59,420 --> 00:25:01,213
No, I'm not going in like this.

339
00:25:02,715 --> 00:25:04,008
Fine.

340
00:25:09,597 --> 00:25:10,598
Go.

341
00:25:24,028 --> 00:25:25,946
What are you doing? Go!

342
00:25:31,660 --> 00:25:33,162
Please be seated.

343
00:25:35,289 --> 00:25:41,045
Let me just say how gratifying it is
to see so many smiling faces here today.

344
00:25:42,296 --> 00:25:44,048
Mothers and fathers...

345
00:25:50,137 --> 00:25:51,305
Okay, we're up.

346
00:25:52,431 --> 00:25:53,807
Come on! We're up!

347
00:25:54,266 --> 00:25:59,021
- But everyone will see the sweater.
- People are looking, okay?

348
00:25:59,104 --> 00:26:00,314
So come on. Let's go.

349
00:26:01,190 --> 00:26:02,191
Come on.

350
00:26:21,835 --> 00:26:25,005
Poop! He's pooped his pants!

351
00:26:26,924 --> 00:26:30,260
No, it isn't what it looks like!
It isn't. It's chocolate!

352
00:26:31,637 --> 00:26:33,222
Chocolate. See?

353
00:26:53,701 --> 00:26:56,495
What did I say
about being civil to one another?

354
00:26:56,578 --> 00:26:58,372
That's all I asked of you!

355
00:26:58,455 --> 00:27:00,207
Well, you have blown it big time!

356
00:27:00,708 --> 00:27:02,126
Never been more embarrassed!

357
00:27:02,209 --> 00:27:03,794
Everyone we know was there!

358
00:27:04,420 --> 00:27:07,005
I have no idea
how I'm gonna write my column this week.

359
00:27:07,089 --> 00:27:09,049
I feel like a complete fraud!

360
00:27:09,133 --> 00:27:13,053
Well, you have brought this on yourselves.
You can kiss Rockin' Rapids goodbye!

361
00:27:13,137 --> 00:27:17,307
You two will stay here all weekend
and work out your differences.

362
00:27:17,391 --> 00:27:19,476
And if you don't, I will.

363
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,438
And trust me,
you don't want any part of that.

364
00:27:23,856 --> 00:27:25,023
Do you understand?

365
00:27:25,899 --> 00:27:27,443
Yes.

366
00:27:28,736 --> 00:27:30,320
All right, let's go.

367
00:27:38,829 --> 00:27:41,290
And don't have anybody over
this weekend.

368
00:27:42,249 --> 00:27:43,417
Got it?

369
00:28:11,361 --> 00:28:14,782
Snacks in the bowls, ice in the freezer,
cups on the table.

370
00:28:15,073 --> 00:28:17,910
- Your party better be good.
- Our party, little bro.

371
00:28:19,953 --> 00:28:22,915
Wait!
We need chairs from the basement.

372
00:28:23,957 --> 00:28:25,209
For what?

373
00:28:25,292 --> 00:28:27,336
In case we wanna play musical chairs.

374
00:28:27,419 --> 00:28:30,088
I haven't played musical chairs
since the second grade.

375
00:28:30,172 --> 00:28:33,550
Well, it comes back
when you hit high school.

376
00:28:34,134 --> 00:28:35,469
Wait! You get the chairs.

377
00:28:35,552 --> 00:28:37,304
I don't want anyone to be disappointed.
All right?

378
00:28:38,013 --> 00:28:39,389
- Okay.
- All right.

379
00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:08,627
Rodrick, help! The door's closed!

380
00:29:08,710 --> 00:29:10,295
Yeah, and it's staying closed.

381
00:29:10,379 --> 00:29:12,297
I don't need a middle-schooler
ruining my party.

382
00:29:12,381 --> 00:29:14,007
What? I thought it was our party!

383
00:29:14,091 --> 00:29:17,135
It's my party. Now, keep quiet
or I'll lock you in the dryer!

384
00:29:17,219 --> 00:29:18,428
Rodrick!

385
00:29:19,513 --> 00:29:20,722
Greg!

386
00:30:13,025 --> 00:30:14,943
And that's magic!

387
00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:21,366
Jefferson residence. Rowley speaking.

388
00:30:21,450 --> 00:30:23,619
Rowley, I need your help! Now!

389
00:30:28,665 --> 00:30:30,459
Holy pepperoni!

390
00:30:35,088 --> 00:30:37,090
Get inside. Open the door and let me out!

391
00:30:46,016 --> 00:30:47,225
Yes! You did it!

392
00:30:49,603 --> 00:30:51,063
It's a really nice try, Greggy.

393
00:30:51,146 --> 00:30:54,358
But whatever you thought,
I already thinked it.

394
00:31:02,366 --> 00:31:05,911
When our band is huge,
we'll have parties every night!

395
00:31:06,578 --> 00:31:11,708
- But they'll be backstage parties!
- Sweet! We'll get to go backstage.

396
00:31:16,630 --> 00:31:17,756
You, don't touch that phone!

397
00:31:17,839 --> 00:31:20,801
Music off! Everybody freeze! Freeze.

398
00:31:23,512 --> 00:31:29,643
If anyone makes a sound, the party is over
and I am a dead man. So...

399
00:31:32,312 --> 00:31:33,981
Quiet, man!

400
00:31:36,191 --> 00:31:37,484
Get back!

401
00:31:41,613 --> 00:31:43,657
- Hello?
- Rodrick, it's Mom.

402
00:31:43,740 --> 00:31:46,535
Is everything okay?
It took a long time for you to answer.

403
00:31:46,618 --> 00:31:49,204
Yeah, everything's fine.
I was just washing dishes.

404
00:31:50,163 --> 00:31:53,041
Okay, honey. Well, I just wanted
to check in and say I love you,

405
00:31:53,125 --> 00:31:55,669
- and I'm sorry I was so harsh earlier.
- No problem. Bye.

406
00:31:55,752 --> 00:31:58,130
- Now, let me say good night to Greg.
- Greg?

407
00:32:00,424 --> 00:32:02,884
He can't. He's asleep.
I don't want to wake him.

408
00:32:02,968 --> 00:32:05,595
No, I'm not. I'm right here. Hi, Mom.

409
00:32:06,513 --> 00:32:09,933
- Hey, Rodrick.
- Hi, sweetie, is everything okay?

410
00:32:10,017 --> 00:32:11,727
Why were you sleeping so early?

411
00:32:11,810 --> 00:32:16,231
Well, actually, I wasn't sleeping.
I'm down in the basement.

412
00:32:16,732 --> 00:32:19,234
The basement?
What the heck are you doing down there?

413
00:32:19,317 --> 00:32:21,361
Wouldn't you rather be up here
hanging with me?

414
00:32:21,445 --> 00:32:25,407
Yeah, I would, Rodrick.
Why don't you come down and get me?

415
00:32:25,490 --> 00:32:26,533
Now.

416
00:32:26,616 --> 00:32:30,787
- I think they're trying to get along.
- Huh? That's good. Good, honey.

417
00:32:31,163 --> 00:32:34,583
Okay.
Everything is cool here, right, Greg?

418
00:32:35,709 --> 00:32:38,420
Yeah, Mom.
And I have your number if I need you.

419
00:32:38,503 --> 00:32:41,882
Okay, sweeties.
Well, we'll see you tomorrow. Good night.

420
00:32:46,595 --> 00:32:47,804
Listen up.

421
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,893
If you do anything that embarrasses me,
anything at all...

422
00:32:53,226 --> 00:32:55,729
- I will...
- You'll what?

423
00:32:58,356 --> 00:33:01,777
Just stay out of my way.

424
00:33:03,070 --> 00:33:04,071
Nerds.

425
00:33:09,493 --> 00:33:11,078
I think we should go upstairs.

426
00:33:11,661 --> 00:33:13,246
Are you kidding me?

427
00:33:13,330 --> 00:33:16,750
We might not get to go to another
high-school party for five more years.

428
00:33:16,833 --> 00:33:18,418
We have an opportunity here,

429
00:33:18,502 --> 00:33:22,047
to see things no other kid in our grade
has ever seen before.

430
00:33:22,589 --> 00:33:25,008
- Like what?
- Teenage things.

431
00:33:25,300 --> 00:33:28,053
Just follow my lead, and we'll be fine.

432
00:33:39,106 --> 00:33:41,983
Hey, watch the elbows, popcorn dude.
Not cool.

433
00:33:47,322 --> 00:33:48,615
That was a close one.

434
00:33:55,664 --> 00:33:57,666
I didn't know you could get up there.

435
00:33:58,750 --> 00:34:00,210
You should hear my band.

436
00:34:00,293 --> 00:34:02,754
We play so loud,
we actually make people's eardrums bleed.

437
00:34:03,547 --> 00:34:05,006
I mean, not really.

438
00:34:07,008 --> 00:34:08,885
I think your brother likes her!

439
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,978
- I have to go find my friend.
- Yeah, yeah, I know.

440
00:34:20,272 --> 00:34:23,859
Reminder! You can't call if you're dead.

441
00:34:33,243 --> 00:34:35,996
Dude, this party is dying.
Look, the girls aren't into it.

442
00:34:36,079 --> 00:34:37,789
Look, they want to dance.

443
00:34:38,206 --> 00:34:39,791
You don't ask them to dance,
they're gonna leave,

444
00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:42,752
then you're just gonna be that guy
who threw the lame party with no girls.

445
00:34:42,836 --> 00:34:44,462
Go ask the girls to dance!

446
00:34:45,589 --> 00:34:46,590
You ask them.

447
00:34:48,466 --> 00:34:51,219
- No, man. You go ask the girls to dance.
- You almost did it.

448
00:34:51,303 --> 00:34:53,221
- No, I'm not going to do it!
- I've seen you dance!

449
00:34:53,305 --> 00:34:54,207
I'm not doing it...

450
00:34:54,222 --> 00:34:57,267
Did somebody say "dance"?
Break it down!

451
00:34:57,350 --> 00:34:58,977
Rowley, no! Don't!

452
00:35:00,228 --> 00:35:02,314
- That kid's dead.
- No, wait, man. What are you, new?

453
00:35:02,397 --> 00:35:04,983
You can't mess with a chubby kid,
the girls'll freak out!

454
00:35:09,946 --> 00:35:12,032
I won't call Mom. You can kill me.

455
00:35:12,115 --> 00:35:14,618
Conga!

456
00:35:18,330 --> 00:35:20,081
What is he doing?

457
00:35:20,165 --> 00:35:24,336
Who cares? I'm going to go squeeze in
next to Rachel Lewis and Amy Ramirez!

458
00:35:42,479 --> 00:35:46,441
- This is great!
- I know! I wish my mom was here.

459
00:35:46,524 --> 00:35:49,486
Your parents are so cool
to let you have this party.

460
00:35:49,569 --> 00:35:52,989
Yeah, really cool.
And they can never know.

461
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,616
Hi. You've reached the Heffley residence.
Please leave a message.

462
00:36:37,492 --> 00:36:40,829
Hey, guys. Manny's sick.
We're on our way home.

463
00:36:40,912 --> 00:36:42,122
See you in an hour.

464
00:36:42,539 --> 00:36:44,457
- Holy...
- Moly!

465
00:36:48,712 --> 00:36:50,588
You are in so much trouble.

466
00:36:53,008 --> 00:36:55,385
Me? You lied to Mom,
just as much as I did.

467
00:36:55,468 --> 00:36:58,430
You know how she feels about lying!
She's gonna kill both of us!

468
00:37:04,269 --> 00:37:06,604
You do the living room,
I'll start the kitchen. Go!

469
00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:06,373
Down, down, down! All right, let's go.

470
00:38:18,343 --> 00:38:20,178
- It looks good.
- Too good.

471
00:38:24,474 --> 00:38:25,474
Let's get the kitchen.

472
00:38:34,484 --> 00:38:37,695
- Maybe we can paint over it.
- I don't know how to make paint!

473
00:38:38,363 --> 00:38:39,307
I got it!

474
00:38:39,322 --> 00:38:42,242
See? It's a good thing I locked you
down here. Now, let's go!

475
00:38:45,286 --> 00:38:47,372
- We're not gonna make it!
- We're gonna make it.

476
00:38:55,713 --> 00:38:57,298
See? Told you it would work.

477
00:39:09,144 --> 00:39:10,144
Rodrick!

478
00:39:10,562 --> 00:39:12,856
The bathroom door!
The door doesn't have a lock on it.

479
00:39:12,939 --> 00:39:16,317
The other door had a lock on it, and this
doesn't. We're dead. If they find out...

480
00:39:20,738 --> 00:39:22,740
- Greg?
- Hey, guys!

481
00:39:22,824 --> 00:39:25,535
- Hi.
- Hey, Mom, Dad.

482
00:39:25,910 --> 00:39:28,997
Hey, how's Manny? Is he feeling better?
Poor little guy.

483
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:33,835
- Yeah. He's doing okay.
- Wow. The house looks pretty good.

484
00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:35,879
I was expecting a real mess.

485
00:39:37,589 --> 00:39:39,007
Who ate pretzels on the rug?

486
00:39:41,426 --> 00:39:42,427
So...

487
00:39:44,429 --> 00:39:48,641
- Who came over this weekend?
- What? Nobody.

488
00:39:49,184 --> 00:39:51,686
You said nobody, Dad. No means no, right?

489
00:39:51,769 --> 00:39:53,313
Yeah, yeah. Good boy.

490
00:40:00,778 --> 00:40:01,821
So...

491
00:40:03,823 --> 00:40:06,034
you guys have just hung out?

492
00:40:06,117 --> 00:40:09,329
- Had a good time together, huh?
- Yeah, actually.

493
00:40:09,954 --> 00:40:13,917
You know, I never thought I'd admit this,
but we had a pretty good time together.

494
00:40:15,126 --> 00:40:18,546
- Really?
- Yeah. Surprised me, too.

495
00:40:18,630 --> 00:40:22,550
So you just worked it all out
by yourselves?

496
00:40:22,884 --> 00:40:26,429
Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
Mom, don't make a big deal about it.

497
00:40:26,513 --> 00:40:27,555
- Please, just...
- Okay. Okay.

498
00:40:27,639 --> 00:40:31,768
But nothing... Nothing makes me happier
than to see you two being friends.

499
00:40:31,851 --> 00:40:34,145
- Right, Frank?
- Hmm? Yeah.

500
00:40:36,105 --> 00:40:37,105
Yeah.

501
00:40:38,483 --> 00:40:40,818
Okay, let's go upstairs.

502
00:40:42,237 --> 00:40:43,655
Time for a nappy.

503
00:40:47,242 --> 00:40:49,118
Hey! What the...?

504
00:40:52,163 --> 00:40:54,415
You guys got something
you want to tell me?

505
00:40:55,667 --> 00:40:56,668
No.

506
00:40:57,252 --> 00:41:02,465
What was General Grant
doing on the thermostat?

507
00:41:03,675 --> 00:41:06,052
- I have no idea.
- No idea.

508
00:41:06,844 --> 00:41:08,471
No idea, huh?

509
00:41:11,057 --> 00:41:15,270
Don't... These...
These are off limits! No touch!

510
00:41:15,562 --> 00:41:18,773
They are not toys. They're figurines!

511
00:41:20,733 --> 00:41:21,776
I can't...

512
00:41:24,028 --> 00:41:25,989
We have to keep them
away from the bathroom.

513
00:41:26,072 --> 00:41:28,700
- For the next 10 years?
- Listen to me.

514
00:41:29,951 --> 00:41:33,121
No matter what they ask you,
no matter how hard they push,

515
00:41:33,204 --> 00:41:35,498
deny, deny, deny.

516
00:41:35,582 --> 00:41:40,044
Even if they figure it out,
never ever admit to anything.

517
00:41:40,128 --> 00:41:43,506
Deny, deny, deny. Got it?

518
00:41:44,048 --> 00:41:47,093
Got it. Deny, deny, deny.

519
00:41:48,303 --> 00:41:51,055
It sounds to me like, "Lie, lie, lie."

520
00:41:52,015 --> 00:41:53,725
I kind of wish you hadn't told me.

521
00:41:55,351 --> 00:41:58,980
Don't you understand?
Rodrick isn't beating me up anymore.

522
00:41:59,063 --> 00:42:02,150
But how are they not going to notice
that the lock's gone?

523
00:42:02,233 --> 00:42:04,402
Please. They're like, 40.

524
00:42:04,819 --> 00:42:06,988
They can barely remember our names.

525
00:42:12,076 --> 00:42:14,746
Hi, Greg! I've returned
from halfway around the world.

526
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,500
And I see that you're even further
than that from Holly Hills.

527
00:42:19,584 --> 00:42:22,795
I guess your unappealing older brother
was right about you.

528
00:42:22,879 --> 00:42:24,547
You have no game.

529
00:42:25,214 --> 00:42:26,507
You know what?

530
00:42:26,591 --> 00:42:29,636
I liked Chirag a whole lot better
when he was in India.

531
00:42:30,178 --> 00:42:34,265
Man, I sure do miss Chirag.
I wonder when he's coming back.

532
00:42:35,058 --> 00:42:37,518
It's almost like I can feel his presence.

533
00:42:37,602 --> 00:42:40,688
What are you talking about? Here I am!

534
00:42:42,106 --> 00:42:43,691
Did you just hear something?

535
00:42:44,942 --> 00:42:45,985
No. Nothing.

536
00:42:46,319 --> 00:42:49,906
Well, better get to class.
Chirag would've wanted it that way.

537
00:42:49,989 --> 00:42:51,282
Good one, Greg.

538
00:42:51,366 --> 00:42:54,577
You may be able
to dominate me physically, Greg Heffley,

539
00:42:54,661 --> 00:42:57,413
but mentally, I am the more muscular!

540
00:42:57,789 --> 00:42:59,582
It is officially on.

541
00:43:08,716 --> 00:43:11,135
- Hey, Rowley.
- Hey.

542
00:43:14,972 --> 00:43:16,933
Does he know about the D-O-R-E?

543
00:43:18,851 --> 00:43:19,852
The door!

544
00:43:20,978 --> 00:43:24,440
Yeah. Don't worry.
I already told him, deny, deny, deny.

545
00:43:24,524 --> 00:43:26,401
Hi, Rowley! What's new, huh?

546
00:43:34,826 --> 00:43:35,827
Okay.

547
00:43:40,748 --> 00:43:43,209
Wasn't there a lock on this door?

548
00:43:46,754 --> 00:43:48,423
I must be losing my marbles.

549
00:43:50,383 --> 00:43:53,636
I can't take this pressure. I'm leaving.

550
00:43:53,970 --> 00:43:55,513
Okay, everybody, dinnertime!

551
00:43:56,472 --> 00:43:59,976
- Actually, Mom, I have to skip dinner.
- Why?

552
00:44:00,059 --> 00:44:02,562
I've got the most important meeting
of my life tonight.

553
00:44:02,645 --> 00:44:04,355
- Did you say you have a meeting?
- Yeah.

554
00:44:04,439 --> 00:44:07,692
- Like, for like a job?
- Yeah. Kind of.

555
00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:10,278
I'm meeting with the best guitarist
in Plainview.

556
00:44:10,361 --> 00:44:13,114
Now he's in between bands,
and if I can get him into Löded Diper,

557
00:44:13,197 --> 00:44:15,324
then winning the talent show is a lock.

558
00:44:15,408 --> 00:44:18,786
I mean, you'd like him, Dad.
He's a real professional, like you.

559
00:44:19,662 --> 00:44:20,872
Be supportive.

560
00:44:21,289 --> 00:44:23,249
That's him. I'll get that!

561
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:30,047
Oh, man, I barely made it here.
Your address has so many numbers!

562
00:44:30,131 --> 00:44:31,549
All right, Bill, we should...

563
00:44:33,801 --> 00:44:36,095
Do I smell pot roast?

564
00:44:48,274 --> 00:44:51,569
Bill got voted "Most Likely to Be
a Rock Star" when he was in high school.

565
00:44:52,945 --> 00:44:54,030
You suck!

566
00:44:55,656 --> 00:44:57,241
That hasn't really worked out.

567
00:44:57,825 --> 00:44:59,744
- We really should be going...
- Sit.

568
00:45:02,205 --> 00:45:04,081
So, Bill.

569
00:45:05,374 --> 00:45:08,085
Rodrick tells me
that you're a professional musician.

570
00:45:08,169 --> 00:45:11,547
So, that means
that you earn enough to make a living?

571
00:45:11,631 --> 00:45:13,966
Oh, yeah! Yeah.

572
00:45:14,509 --> 00:45:17,553
Well, enough if you live
in your parents' basement.

573
00:45:18,930 --> 00:45:20,723
My parents are really supportive.

574
00:45:21,641 --> 00:45:23,643
Respect your parents, boys!

575
00:45:23,726 --> 00:45:25,895
Hey! That's what Joshie says!

576
00:45:26,896 --> 00:45:27,896
So...

577
00:45:28,940 --> 00:45:31,025
- It doesn't sound like a cakewalk, right?
- No.

578
00:45:31,108 --> 00:45:32,151
Why don't you tell Rodrick?

579
00:45:32,235 --> 00:45:35,404
Give him a picture
of just how challenging it can really be.

580
00:45:36,155 --> 00:45:37,824
No, it's really hard.

581
00:45:37,907 --> 00:45:40,785
First of all,
there's no home-cooked meals like this.

582
00:45:40,868 --> 00:45:43,412
What? Really?

583
00:45:43,496 --> 00:45:44,580
Yeah, yeah!

584
00:45:44,664 --> 00:45:50,711
No, on the road,
it's all burgers and fries and pizza.

585
00:45:51,796 --> 00:45:54,632
Then you got to deal with the fans,
especially the girls.

586
00:45:55,633 --> 00:45:59,470
No, it's definitely not for everyone.

587
00:46:00,513 --> 00:46:01,513
But...

588
00:46:02,473 --> 00:46:08,187
If you like rocking deep into the night
and partying hard all day...

589
00:46:08,980 --> 00:46:12,275
- then it might be the life for you.
- It's definitely for me.

590
00:46:12,358 --> 00:46:13,442
It does sound fun.

591
00:46:13,860 --> 00:46:16,571
But what if you don't play
a musical instrument?

592
00:46:17,738 --> 00:46:19,740
Löded Diper always needs roadies.

593
00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:24,078
- So you're joining the band?
- Yeah, brother!

594
00:46:24,161 --> 00:46:25,997
- I'm in. Let's rock!
- Yeah!

595
00:46:38,217 --> 00:46:40,803
I think I might have brought
too much stuff.

596
00:46:40,887 --> 00:46:43,055
Let's see how many views our video's got.

597
00:46:43,681 --> 00:46:45,308
It's got to be thousands.

598
00:46:45,766 --> 00:46:46,934
Maybe millions!

599
00:46:48,352 --> 00:46:51,480
Four? We only got four lousy hits?

600
00:46:52,398 --> 00:46:56,193
Greg, I can't lie to your parents
about the party. I never lie.

601
00:46:56,277 --> 00:46:58,237
Joshie says a lie hurts everyone.

602
00:47:00,156 --> 00:47:02,825
Guess who wanted to join
the big-boy sleepover!

603
00:47:02,909 --> 00:47:05,578
- Bubby, Rowley!
- Mom, no, he'll ruin it!

604
00:47:05,661 --> 00:47:08,331
He just wanted to come in
and say hi to Rowley. All right?

605
00:47:09,081 --> 00:47:11,542
And Rowley's mother brought over
some healthy snacks

606
00:47:11,626 --> 00:47:14,337
and DVDs that she thought
were appropriate.

607
00:47:15,463 --> 00:47:17,715
Enjoy your granola bars, boys.

608
00:47:23,471 --> 00:47:27,058
Andy's Magic Cushion.
Let's start with that.

609
00:47:28,976 --> 00:47:32,063
Or should we watch The Foot?

610
00:47:35,358 --> 00:47:37,944
What if she comes back in
and asks about the party?

611
00:47:38,027 --> 00:47:39,445
You need to relax.

612
00:47:41,238 --> 00:47:42,615
How about a healthy snack?

613
00:47:57,755 --> 00:47:59,173
We shouldn't be here.

614
00:47:59,799 --> 00:48:01,801
We can't just let ourselves
into a stranger's home.

615
00:48:02,385 --> 00:48:05,554
The place is empty.
Nobody's going to mind.

616
00:48:09,225 --> 00:48:10,726
Look at his face.

617
00:48:13,437 --> 00:48:14,897
What happened to his foot?

618
00:48:21,612 --> 00:48:23,906
It sounded like someone was hopping.

619
00:48:23,990 --> 00:48:27,785
I'm telling you, it's nothing.
It's just your imagination.

620
00:48:30,246 --> 00:48:31,789
Did you just kick me?

621
00:48:48,806 --> 00:48:51,225
You know, you really need
to cut your toenails.

622
00:48:51,809 --> 00:48:53,019
What was that?

623
00:49:04,613 --> 00:49:08,200
- Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Okay. Only 'cause you're scared.

624
00:49:10,911 --> 00:49:12,413
Let's just go to sleep.

625
00:49:14,582 --> 00:49:17,043
I wish we watched Andy's Magic Cushion.

626
00:49:26,177 --> 00:49:29,805
I love this movie, Frank.
Don't you just love this movie?

627
00:49:32,058 --> 00:49:34,602
He picked the housekeeper
over the supermodel?

628
00:49:36,771 --> 00:49:37,855
I know.

629
00:49:41,108 --> 00:49:43,319
It's got me! The foot has got me!

630
00:50:00,628 --> 00:50:04,465
Greg, is there something you want
to say to Rowley and his father?

631
00:50:06,592 --> 00:50:09,970
I'm sorry for choosing
an inappropriate movie for the sleepover.

632
00:50:10,930 --> 00:50:12,765
At least nobody got hurt this time.

633
00:50:13,140 --> 00:50:15,893
I'm a little birdy. I'm a little birdy!

634
00:50:18,562 --> 00:50:19,688
My knee bone.

635
00:50:25,402 --> 00:50:26,529
What?

636
00:50:34,954 --> 00:50:36,163
Mommy, look.

637
00:50:36,705 --> 00:50:40,334
Mommy is looking.
Mommy's looked a thousand times!

638
00:50:41,127 --> 00:50:44,296
Mommy just needs to go to the potty
for one minute, okay?

639
00:50:45,339 --> 00:50:46,966
No! No!

640
00:50:49,885 --> 00:50:53,514
What the heck? Where's the lock?

641
00:50:54,682 --> 00:50:55,682
Wait.

642
00:51:08,779 --> 00:51:10,948
Rodrick, could you come here, please?

643
00:51:11,991 --> 00:51:13,409
What happened to the lock?

644
00:51:14,827 --> 00:51:17,246
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- There was a lock on this door.

645
00:51:20,207 --> 00:51:21,667
I don't think so.

646
00:51:22,084 --> 00:51:24,086
Rodrick, I've lived in this house
for 10 years.

647
00:51:24,545 --> 00:51:26,380
I've locked that door 10,000 times

648
00:51:26,463 --> 00:51:29,425
because sometimes
it's my only moment of privacy of the day.

649
00:51:30,342 --> 00:51:32,553
- I know there was a lock on that door.
- There wasn't. Trust me.

650
00:51:32,636 --> 00:51:37,141
Greg has walked in on me a million times.
And if there was a lock, I would use it.

651
00:51:38,392 --> 00:51:40,853
In fact, maybe you should put one on.

652
00:51:42,188 --> 00:51:43,772
So that's your story.

653
00:51:43,856 --> 00:51:46,775
There was never a lock and you have
no idea what I'm talking about.

654
00:51:48,027 --> 00:51:49,028
Yes.

655
00:51:50,821 --> 00:51:54,116
Fine. I'll just go ask your brother
the same thing.

656
00:52:03,959 --> 00:52:06,295
Greg? Two words.

657
00:52:07,755 --> 00:52:11,300
Bathroom. Door.

658
00:52:18,057 --> 00:52:19,683
It was Rodrick! He made me!
It was his idea.

659
00:52:19,767 --> 00:52:22,102
He had the party! Someone wrote
on the door, so we had to change it!

660
00:52:22,186 --> 00:52:23,979
I knew it. I knew it.

661
00:52:24,063 --> 00:52:26,273
No, Mom, wait!
I was exaggerating a little bit.

662
00:52:26,357 --> 00:52:29,818
It wasn't a party. It was a band rehearsal
for the talent show. That's all it was.

663
00:52:29,902 --> 00:52:32,738
We said nobody could come over.
He knew the rules.

664
00:52:32,821 --> 00:52:36,033
Yeah, but, Mom, if you punish him,
Rodrick's gonna know I told on him.

665
00:52:36,116 --> 00:52:39,578
We really had a good time this weekend.
But if you do this...

666
00:52:40,162 --> 00:52:42,498
Rodrick and I will never, ever
be friends again.

667
00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:46,835
The idea that one day my kids
won't get to know their Uncle Rodrick?

668
00:52:47,461 --> 00:52:49,672
Or have any family holidays?

669
00:52:50,422 --> 00:52:52,883
You two really have been getting along
better this week, haven't you?

670
00:52:53,509 --> 00:52:55,594
Yeah. We really have.

671
00:53:01,892 --> 00:53:03,018
Okay, if...

672
00:53:05,020 --> 00:53:06,855
If I let this slide...

673
00:53:08,732 --> 00:53:12,278
and be our little secret
for the sake of the family...

674
00:53:12,903 --> 00:53:14,405
and for your relationship
with your brother,

675
00:53:14,488 --> 00:53:18,325
do you swear to be on your best behaviour
and get along?

676
00:53:19,576 --> 00:53:21,161
I swear. I swear.

677
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:26,083
Okay.

678
00:53:30,254 --> 00:53:31,338
Okay.

679
00:53:45,936 --> 00:53:48,522
You didn't buckle.

680
00:53:49,189 --> 00:53:50,899
Deny, deny, deny, right?

681
00:53:55,279 --> 00:53:56,447
You know...

682
00:53:58,115 --> 00:54:02,619
You may not be half as lame
as I thought you were.

683
00:54:06,415 --> 00:54:07,833
I couldn't believe it!

684
00:54:07,916 --> 00:54:10,169
Rodrick was actually trying to be
nice to me.

685
00:54:15,883 --> 00:54:19,136
Wow! You're a Mom-Bucks millionaire!

686
00:54:19,511 --> 00:54:21,472
- Where'd you get these?
- Thrift shops.

687
00:54:21,555 --> 00:54:24,058
There's enough in here
to last me until I'm 30.

688
00:54:26,602 --> 00:54:32,274
It's about time, little bro, that you
learn the secrets to an easy life.

689
00:54:33,901 --> 00:54:37,279
Rule number one, don't be good
at something you don't want to do.

690
00:54:43,619 --> 00:54:47,081
Guys! Use clean rags, not...

691
00:54:47,414 --> 00:54:51,543
Just give me that! I'll do it myself.

692
00:54:53,670 --> 00:54:57,716
Rule number two,
always lower Mom and Dad's expectations.

693
00:55:02,346 --> 00:55:04,765
Hey, I took a math test today

694
00:55:04,848 --> 00:55:07,684
- and I'm pretty sure I flunked it.
- Greg!

695
00:55:07,768 --> 00:55:10,229
But I got it back, and look!

696
00:55:11,146 --> 00:55:12,689
I got a C minus.

697
00:55:13,857 --> 00:55:16,276
Well, at least you didn't fail.

698
00:55:18,904 --> 00:55:23,992
Rule number three, never do something
when someone else can do it for you.

699
00:55:25,953 --> 00:55:27,996
"100 Years Ago."
I remember that assignment.

700
00:55:29,164 --> 00:55:30,499
Why write a new one...

701
00:55:30,874 --> 00:55:34,294
when there's a perfectly good paper
already written by your brother?

702
00:55:37,172 --> 00:55:38,549
Isn't that cheating?

703
00:55:38,882 --> 00:55:43,011
Isn't Mr. Draybick cheating by handing out
the same assignment every year?

704
00:55:47,433 --> 00:55:50,436
New binder. Teachers dig binders.

705
00:55:52,438 --> 00:55:53,772
The thing was,

706
00:55:53,856 --> 00:55:58,277
Rodrick had managed to get my dad to do
all his homework for the past five years.

707
00:55:58,861 --> 00:56:00,487
Which one's the space bar again?

708
00:56:00,821 --> 00:56:02,906
Just let me do it, okay? Okay.

709
00:56:03,866 --> 00:56:07,035
I would never actually hand in a paper
Rodrick wrote.

710
00:56:07,119 --> 00:56:09,830
But my dad? That's a different story.

711
00:56:09,913 --> 00:56:12,708
So that's just three of the things
Rodrick has taught me.

712
00:56:12,791 --> 00:56:14,460
He has a lot of cool tips.

713
00:56:14,543 --> 00:56:17,087
I'm not sure Rodrick's tips
are really that cool.

714
00:56:20,132 --> 00:56:22,885
Okay, so the invisible Chirag joke
is still going,

715
00:56:22,968 --> 00:56:24,678
and the whole school is in on it.

716
00:56:25,053 --> 00:56:27,764
But it looks like
Chirag's discovered our weakness.

717
00:56:27,848 --> 00:56:29,558
Hello, Greg, Rowley.

718
00:56:29,641 --> 00:56:31,602
Still pretending I'm invisible, I presume.

719
00:56:31,685 --> 00:56:33,437
I don't know if I can do this.

720
00:56:34,521 --> 00:56:36,106
Stay strong.

721
00:56:36,773 --> 00:56:39,109
What is this? A corn dog.

722
00:56:39,193 --> 00:56:42,070
Rowley's all-time
favourite lunch delicacy.

723
00:56:42,154 --> 00:56:46,450
If you say you can see me, Rowley,
it is all yours.

724
00:56:48,702 --> 00:56:51,205
Smell that buttermilk batter.

725
00:56:51,288 --> 00:56:52,748
You got him, Chirag.

726
00:56:52,831 --> 00:56:54,791
- Resist it.
- Don't do it, Rowley.

727
00:56:56,335 --> 00:56:58,795
Hey, everyone, look!
There's a floating corn dog.

728
00:57:07,012 --> 00:57:09,139
I don't want to get ahead of myself
or anything,

729
00:57:09,223 --> 00:57:13,602
but I think I may have class clown
in the bag for dreaming this one up.

730
00:57:14,269 --> 00:57:17,773
In conclusion, without last century's
technological advances,

731
00:57:17,856 --> 00:57:23,237
there would be no computers, cell phones,
or modern medical miracles.

732
00:57:23,612 --> 00:57:29,201
And so for that, we salute and thank
our ancestors from 100 years ago.

733
00:57:37,042 --> 00:57:39,461
Thank you, Holly. That was excellent work.

734
00:57:40,003 --> 00:57:42,464
Now, I think we have time for one more.

735
00:57:42,548 --> 00:57:48,554
I have to say that when I read this paper,
I was a bit surprised by its content.

736
00:57:48,637 --> 00:57:54,268
But more than any other,
this one deserves to be read out loud.

737
00:57:56,228 --> 00:57:57,354
Greg?

738
00:57:59,773 --> 00:58:01,316
Yay, Greg!

739
00:58:12,703 --> 00:58:15,664
Just read it, Greg. All of it.

740
00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:19,543
Okay.

741
00:58:21,211 --> 00:58:25,048
"Sometimes I sit and wonder
About stuff I do not know

742
00:58:25,132 --> 00:58:28,844
Like what the Earth was like
100 years ago?

743
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:35,017
Did cavemen ride on dinosaurs?
Did flowers even grow?

744
00:58:35,100 --> 00:58:39,521
Did spiders rule the Earth?
Were deserts filled with snow?

745
00:58:40,147 --> 00:58:43,900
There were no books or humans,
So how were we to know

746
00:58:43,984 --> 00:58:46,862
What life was like 100 years ago?"

747
00:58:50,073 --> 00:58:51,241
Loser.

748
00:58:53,493 --> 00:58:58,165
Now, Greg, when we talk about
how important it is to recycle,

749
00:58:58,248 --> 00:59:01,293
we don't mean turning in
your brother's old papers.

750
00:59:08,175 --> 00:59:09,718
I thought Dad helped you with this paper.

751
00:59:09,801 --> 00:59:14,681
Well, actually, Dad started writing
my papers because of that paper.

752
00:59:14,765 --> 00:59:16,058
I looked like an idiot!

753
00:59:16,433 --> 00:59:19,936
And that girl from the roller rink?
She laughed at me.

754
00:59:21,855 --> 00:59:23,899
Just do something
that changes her opinion of you.

755
00:59:23,982 --> 00:59:27,069
Like, set a firecracker
off in the classroom.

756
00:59:28,028 --> 00:59:29,446
Chicks dig bad boys.

757
00:59:29,529 --> 00:59:33,158
Well, actually, I was thinking about
writing her a note.

758
00:59:33,241 --> 00:59:37,037
- You mean like one with words on it?
- I've got it all figured out.

759
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:40,457
I'm gonna pass her a note with a question
on it, but it'll be anonymous.

760
00:59:40,540 --> 00:59:42,793
She'll be like,
"I have to know who wrote this."

761
00:59:42,876 --> 00:59:46,505
Then later, I'll walk up to her
and ask her the exact same question.

762
00:59:46,922 --> 00:59:48,548
It'll blow her mind.

763
00:59:48,965 --> 00:59:50,133
A note?

764
00:59:50,425 --> 00:59:53,261
- Do you want me to spell check it?
- Just pass it to Holly.

765
00:59:55,263 --> 00:59:56,431
To Holly.

766
01:00:09,277 --> 01:00:10,320
Thank you.

767
01:00:14,908 --> 01:00:16,076
It's from Greg.

768
01:00:26,253 --> 01:00:30,215
- What's going on?
- Greg Heffley is passing me notes!

769
01:00:30,298 --> 01:00:31,425
No, I wasn't.

770
01:00:33,427 --> 01:00:36,471
"How do you get your hair
to smell so beautiful?"

771
01:00:56,074 --> 01:00:57,909
Okay. The note was a minor setback,

772
01:00:57,993 --> 01:01:00,370
but at least things
are still going well with Rodrick.

773
01:01:00,454 --> 01:01:02,956
It's amazing but I'm actually enjoying

774
01:01:03,039 --> 01:01:05,500
watching Löded Diper rehearse
for the talent show.

775
01:01:05,584 --> 01:01:07,961
Bill's taken the band
to a whole new level.

776
01:01:08,211 --> 01:01:09,713
Somebody farted.

777
01:01:13,467 --> 01:01:16,052
I got one. I got one. I got a good one.
I got a good one.

778
01:01:17,512 --> 01:01:18,847
Somebody farted.

779
01:01:23,935 --> 01:01:27,063
My dad should be happy
that I'm hanging out with Rodrick.

780
01:01:27,272 --> 01:01:29,274
But I don't think he really likes Bill.

781
01:01:29,775 --> 01:01:32,861
I think what he's worried about is
I'll turn out like Rodrick,

782
01:01:32,944 --> 01:01:36,907
Manny'll turn out like me, and eventually,
we'll all turn out like Bill.

783
01:01:36,990 --> 01:01:38,533
Rock and roll!

784
01:01:39,326 --> 01:01:41,203
- Rock on.
- Yeah.

785
01:02:04,309 --> 01:02:07,479
Dear Greg, meet me in the art room
before lunch.

786
01:02:07,562 --> 01:02:11,107
There's something I want to ask you.
Kiss, kiss. Holly.

787
01:02:27,290 --> 01:02:29,918
Hi, Holly! I was glad to get your note.

788
01:02:30,001 --> 01:02:31,878
I've been wanting a chance to talk to you.

789
01:02:32,254 --> 01:02:37,717
And, hey, you like to paint.
I'm kind of an artist myself.

790
01:02:40,303 --> 01:02:41,513
Holly?

791
01:02:47,018 --> 01:02:48,018
Chirag?

792
01:02:48,061 --> 01:02:53,608
You see me now, don't you?
Game, set and match to Chirag Gupta!

793
01:03:09,749 --> 01:03:11,585
- Hi, Holly.
- Hi, Fregley.

794
01:03:13,003 --> 01:03:15,881
- She thinks I'm Fregley?
- That's got to hurt.

795
01:03:21,803 --> 01:03:23,597
Want to see my secret freckle?

796
01:03:29,603 --> 01:03:32,314
So the note to the girl didn't work out?

797
01:03:34,900 --> 01:03:39,237
All right. Let's go.
Little bro, I am taking you out.

798
01:03:41,448 --> 01:03:43,533
And here are my other men.

799
01:03:43,617 --> 01:03:47,037
Greg, Rodrick, I'd like you to meet
my editors, Mr. Salz and Mrs. Kohan.

800
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,539
- Hey. Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Hello.

801
01:03:49,623 --> 01:03:52,918
- Where you boys off to?
- Just taking the little brother out...

802
01:03:53,001 --> 01:03:54,711
for the evening. He could use a good time.

803
01:03:54,794 --> 01:03:57,714
Okay, well, be safe. And be home by 9:00.

804
01:03:59,090 --> 01:04:00,800
Yeah. See you!

805
01:04:02,052 --> 01:04:03,803
- Bye.
- Bye. Have fun!

806
01:04:03,887 --> 01:04:05,055
Good night.

807
01:04:05,305 --> 01:04:08,224
Now, that is impressive.

808
01:04:08,642 --> 01:04:11,603
My older boy, he wants nothing to do
with his younger brothers.

809
01:04:12,145 --> 01:04:14,064
You certainly practice what you preach.

810
01:04:14,147 --> 01:04:16,316
I think every mother in town
should read your column.

811
01:04:18,318 --> 01:04:19,318
Thanks.

812
01:04:28,828 --> 01:04:31,957
Mom would kill us
if she saw us eating this.

813
01:04:43,259 --> 01:04:44,636
Brain freeze!

814
01:04:45,845 --> 01:04:49,391
All I can say is,
get ready to have your mind blown.

815
01:04:49,474 --> 01:04:51,685
We are going to have an epic night.

816
01:04:55,563 --> 01:04:56,731
Are you okay?

817
01:05:01,069 --> 01:05:03,154
Fake vomit. You can't beat the classics.

818
01:05:03,822 --> 01:05:04,822
Yeah.

819
01:05:06,992 --> 01:05:08,952
Here we go. Here we go. Here he comes.

820
01:05:16,251 --> 01:05:20,463
Okay. Very funny! Very funny.

821
01:05:24,092 --> 01:05:26,302
- This is sweet!
- I told you.

822
01:05:43,486 --> 01:05:47,699
So, you know that girl
who I sent the note to?

823
01:05:48,324 --> 01:05:49,534
Yeah?

824
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:54,205
- She thinks I'm Fregley.
- Oh, man!

825
01:05:55,331 --> 01:05:58,251
I mean, hey, don't take it hard.

826
01:05:58,334 --> 01:06:01,087
Girls act like they're not into you
when they really are.

827
01:06:01,171 --> 01:06:05,925
I mean, tons of girls act like
they're not into me, but they are.

828
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:09,012
I know they are.
I bet she really likes you.

829
01:06:12,182 --> 01:06:13,808
Check it out. Check it out.

830
01:06:24,235 --> 01:06:25,361
Who's out there?

831
01:06:26,613 --> 01:06:29,157
- No way.
- Coach Malone?

832
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,910
Real funny, yeah? Oh, yeah!

833
01:06:31,993 --> 01:06:35,038
Well, you just messed
with the wrong athlete!

834
01:06:35,663 --> 01:06:37,082
Move. Move!

835
01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:40,210
- Show yourself!
- Go!

836
01:06:41,294 --> 01:06:44,964
You want to take me on? Yeah?
You want to take me on?

837
01:06:45,048 --> 01:06:47,425
You better bring your A game,
'cause I am a competitor!

838
01:06:47,509 --> 01:06:49,385
- Come on!
- You will come out!

839
01:06:49,469 --> 01:06:51,763
You know I'm going to find you!

840
01:06:51,846 --> 01:06:53,890
- Help!
- Come on.

841
01:06:55,183 --> 01:06:56,434
Something tickles.

842
01:07:04,567 --> 01:07:06,361
Come on. Come on. Come on.

843
01:07:08,113 --> 01:07:12,450
You can't outrun me! I'm a superstar!

844
01:07:12,909 --> 01:07:16,371
- Go, go, go, go!
- Everywhere you go, it's me!

845
01:07:19,457 --> 01:07:21,292
Stupid carbs!

846
01:07:22,460 --> 01:07:25,338
- There's the mall! Come on.
- I can't go much further!

847
01:07:42,939 --> 01:07:44,023
Got you!

848
01:07:46,943 --> 01:07:48,319
Coach Malone?

849
01:08:03,001 --> 01:08:05,336
"You can't outrun me! I'm a superstar!"

850
01:08:05,420 --> 01:08:09,132
- "Everywhere you go, it's me!"
- Come on.

851
01:08:12,594 --> 01:08:15,096
You boys are five minutes early.
Did you have a good time?

852
01:08:15,180 --> 01:08:17,932
- A great time.
- That is so sweet.

853
01:08:18,349 --> 01:08:20,268
I just can't get over
how well your boys get along.

854
01:08:20,351 --> 01:08:23,563
Well, Larry, we run a pretty tight ship
around here.

855
01:08:23,646 --> 01:08:25,857
It's all about boundaries, rules.

856
01:08:25,940 --> 01:08:29,068
Anyway, let me show you some of
those Civil War re-enactment photos

857
01:08:29,152 --> 01:08:30,195
I was telling you about.

858
01:08:30,278 --> 01:08:35,366
- So, what did you boys do?
- Just hung out at the mall.

859
01:08:35,867 --> 01:08:39,871
And talked about life. Nothing special.

860
01:08:40,163 --> 01:08:41,163
Oh, my God.

861
01:08:45,126 --> 01:08:46,294
Rodrick?

862
01:08:46,377 --> 01:08:48,755
Can you explain what you're doing
in this photo?

863
01:08:51,174 --> 01:08:52,217
That's not me.

864
01:08:54,844 --> 01:08:57,055
- That's not you?
- Nope.

865
01:08:57,764 --> 01:09:00,391
Okay. How about these?

866
01:09:16,658 --> 01:09:19,118
I can't believe that you had a party!

867
01:09:19,410 --> 01:09:23,081
Greg, you told me it was a couple of kids,
a band rehearsal!

868
01:09:23,164 --> 01:09:26,960
- Wait, Susan, you knew about this?
- Yes.

869
01:09:27,543 --> 01:09:29,754
- Yes, I knew.
- You told Mom?

870
01:09:29,837 --> 01:09:33,424
- I knew they had a party!
- It slipped out, but I took it back!

871
01:09:33,508 --> 01:09:34,968
My instincts told me
you weren't being honest!

872
01:09:35,051 --> 01:09:36,636
- I should've trusted my instincts.
- Wait!

873
01:09:36,719 --> 01:09:38,888
You knew about this
but you didn't tell me about it?

874
01:09:38,972 --> 01:09:40,598
I still protected you!

875
01:09:40,682 --> 01:09:44,310
- I threw Mom off your scent!
- Great job. She has no idea!

876
01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:47,480
We are supposed to be a team...
against them!

877
01:09:47,563 --> 01:09:50,275
They were getting along so well,
I let it blind me to the truth!

878
01:09:50,358 --> 01:09:52,277
Why were you taking pictures?

879
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:55,363
It was so crazy that morning,
I forgot we took the pictures.

880
01:09:55,446 --> 01:09:58,700
And so I let it slide. And I am so sorry.

881
01:09:59,409 --> 01:10:01,202
Oh, God. It feels so good to get that out.

882
01:10:01,286 --> 01:10:04,455
I haven't been able to look
at that bathroom door for two weeks!

883
01:10:05,373 --> 01:10:07,333
I knew that door had a lock on it!

884
01:10:07,583 --> 01:10:11,212
And everybody was trying to make me
feel like I was losing my mind!

885
01:10:11,296 --> 01:10:14,966
We're just gonna let ourselves out.
I wouldn't write a column about this.

886
01:10:20,513 --> 01:10:21,973
I'm going upstairs!

887
01:10:22,890 --> 01:10:28,604
To a bathroom that has a lock on it,
and no one can tell me that it doesn't.

888
01:10:30,815 --> 01:10:32,650
I have to go talk to your father.

889
01:10:35,445 --> 01:10:37,363
I will deal with you boys later.

890
01:10:40,992 --> 01:10:42,910
Rodrick, I really didn't tell her!

891
01:10:43,536 --> 01:10:47,415
I mean maybe, sort of,
but I made a deal with her,

892
01:10:47,498 --> 01:10:49,208
and we had a really good time, and...

893
01:10:50,752 --> 01:10:52,128
You're my brother...

894
01:10:53,463 --> 01:10:55,048
but you'll never be my friend.

895
01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:19,906
Your father and I have talked
and we've decided on your punishment.

896
01:11:19,989 --> 01:11:23,618
Greg, you're grounded for two weeks.

897
01:11:23,701 --> 01:11:26,704
Also, no video games for two weeks.

898
01:11:27,663 --> 01:11:31,501
Rodrick, you may only drive to and from
school for the next month.

899
01:11:31,918 --> 01:11:35,671
As the ringleader,
you are also grounded for a month.

900
01:11:36,381 --> 01:11:39,717
Mom, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again.

901
01:11:39,801 --> 01:11:41,469
I know you won't.

902
01:11:43,137 --> 01:11:48,726
And to make sure, we're also not allowing
you to perform in the talent show.

903
01:11:50,103 --> 01:11:54,023
What? No. You can't do that.

904
01:11:54,107 --> 01:11:58,444
Ground me for a year, I don't care,
but you have to let me play in that show.

905
01:11:58,528 --> 01:12:00,696
- This could be my big break.
- I'm sorry.

906
01:12:01,447 --> 01:12:04,492
Dad? Come on. This isn't fair.
I just got Bill in the band!

907
01:12:04,575 --> 01:12:07,245
Actually, Rodrick,
that doesn't help your case.

908
01:12:07,787 --> 01:12:09,080
Bill's kind of a jerk.

909
01:12:10,581 --> 01:12:12,125
Our decision is final.

910
01:12:20,967 --> 01:12:22,218
You are so dead!

911
01:12:27,098 --> 01:12:28,766
Things have never been worse.

912
01:12:29,642 --> 01:12:32,603
Our parents are super mad at us,
so we have to spend the weekend

913
01:12:32,687 --> 01:12:34,981
at my grandpa's
boring retirement community.

914
01:12:35,690 --> 01:12:37,859
Holly Hills thinks I'm Fregley.

915
01:12:38,359 --> 01:12:41,028
My relationship with Rodrick
is at an all-time low.

916
01:12:41,112 --> 01:12:44,449
So he's made it his mission
to ruin my life.

917
01:12:45,783 --> 01:12:46,826
Quit it!

918
01:12:46,909 --> 01:12:48,995
Why don't you tell Mom?
You're good at that.

919
01:12:50,037 --> 01:12:51,914
Grandpa doesn't like TV.

920
01:12:52,373 --> 01:12:55,585
Instead, he prefers to watch the lobby
on the security channel.

921
01:12:56,127 --> 01:12:58,045
I should be rehearsing right now.

922
01:12:59,547 --> 01:13:03,259
Please, Grandpa.
Please, can we watch a real TV show now?

923
01:13:04,093 --> 01:13:06,596
TV is just a bunch of fakers.

924
01:13:06,679 --> 01:13:08,598
This is real life.

925
01:13:09,182 --> 01:13:11,601
It's real life. You can't beat it.

926
01:13:15,021 --> 01:13:17,565
How's about we all go down
to the games room?

927
01:13:18,065 --> 01:13:19,609
You boys like games, don't you?

928
01:13:22,236 --> 01:13:23,571
The games room sounds fun

929
01:13:23,654 --> 01:13:28,034
until you realize that all the games
in there are from, like, the 1800s.

930
01:13:28,493 --> 01:13:32,580
My grandpa's favourite is a really
old board game called Gutbusters.

931
01:13:32,663 --> 01:13:36,501
Now, remember, the object of the game
is to read the joke card

932
01:13:36,584 --> 01:13:39,837
and all the other players
have to try not to laugh.

933
01:13:40,421 --> 01:13:43,758
Good luck!
There are some real rib-ticklers in there!

934
01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:45,300
Yeah.

935
01:13:46,010 --> 01:13:47,345
You go first.

936
01:13:49,472 --> 01:13:52,975
"Putting economic policy
before fiscal responsibility

937
01:13:53,059 --> 01:13:55,895
is like putting the cart
before the horse."

938
01:14:03,069 --> 01:14:05,947
That is hilarious, Grandpa!
Read another one, Greg.

939
01:14:06,906 --> 01:14:08,449
I'm going to go change my shirt.

940
01:14:15,206 --> 01:14:16,206
Hi!

941
01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:22,004
Hi, Holly. What are you doing here?

942
01:14:22,088 --> 01:14:24,507
I'm visiting my grandma.
She just moved here.

943
01:14:24,590 --> 01:14:25,967
I'm on Grandpa duty.

944
01:14:26,968 --> 01:14:30,346
Listen, Greg, I'm really sorry
for calling you Fregley the other day.

945
01:14:30,846 --> 01:14:32,056
I don't know what happened.

946
01:14:32,139 --> 01:14:35,810
I think it's the Greg and Freg part,
my brain just flipped...

947
01:14:35,893 --> 01:14:39,438
You called me Fregley? I had no idea.

948
01:14:40,231 --> 01:14:42,316
- Really?
- Not really.

949
01:14:43,276 --> 01:14:45,361
I heard it. It was pretty rough.

950
01:14:45,778 --> 01:14:48,823
But don't worry, I have the rest
of middle school to get over it.

951
01:14:50,533 --> 01:14:54,870
- What happened to your shirt?
- My brother spit milk on me.

952
01:14:55,454 --> 01:14:59,917
Let me guess, he was pretending to laugh
at something that wasn't actually funny.

953
01:15:00,001 --> 01:15:01,252
How did you know?

954
01:15:01,669 --> 01:15:03,379
It's in the Older Sibling Handbook.

955
01:15:03,462 --> 01:15:06,924
Last week, my older sister
put hair remover in my shampoo.

956
01:15:07,008 --> 01:15:09,760
If I hadn't smelled something,
I'd be completely bald by now!

957
01:15:09,844 --> 01:15:13,431
- Why would she do that?
- Duh! 'Cause she's my sister.

958
01:15:13,681 --> 01:15:17,310
It's part of the deal.
You fight and then you get over it.

959
01:15:18,144 --> 01:15:22,148
Not with my brother. He hates me
and he'll never get over it.

960
01:15:22,231 --> 01:15:24,942
Of course he will. He has to.
He's your brother.

961
01:15:26,944 --> 01:15:30,156
I also have a little sister
who's spoiled rotten.

962
01:15:30,239 --> 01:15:32,700
Tell me about it!
My little brother ruins all my stuff,

963
01:15:32,783 --> 01:15:35,411
and somehow I'm the one
who ends up getting in trouble for it.

964
01:15:35,494 --> 01:15:36,871
Doesn't that drive you nuts?

965
01:15:37,455 --> 01:15:39,248
Holly! Time for dinner!

966
01:15:39,332 --> 01:15:41,876
I got to go.
It was cool hanging out with you.

967
01:15:41,959 --> 01:15:44,462
I'll look for you tomorrow... Greg.

968
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,173
See you later... Fregley.

969
01:15:47,673 --> 01:15:50,009
I thought being at Grandpa's
was a punishment

970
01:15:50,092 --> 01:15:53,804
but, really, it was destiny
that Holly was here, too.

971
01:15:54,430 --> 01:15:56,223
My luck had finally changed.

972
01:16:15,743 --> 01:16:19,997
"I've never believed in fate,
or destiny, or whatever, until now.

973
01:16:20,081 --> 01:16:22,708
Things are finally starting to go my way!"

974
01:16:22,792 --> 01:16:26,003
Rodrick, be quiet.
Talk on the phone someplace else.

975
01:16:26,087 --> 01:16:28,547
"I thought being at Grandpa's
was punishment

976
01:16:28,631 --> 01:16:32,385
but, really, it was destiny
that Holly was here, too.

977
01:16:32,468 --> 01:16:35,262
My luck had finally changed."

978
01:16:39,975 --> 01:16:43,104
- Give it back, Rodrick!
- This stuff is priceless! No way.

979
01:16:43,771 --> 01:16:45,147
- Come on.
- Give it back!

980
01:16:45,231 --> 01:16:47,108
You know what? I will give it back.

981
01:16:47,191 --> 01:16:49,860
To Holly!
Wait till she reads this garbage!

982
01:16:55,366 --> 01:16:56,659
"I can't believe my luck!

983
01:16:56,742 --> 01:17:01,414
I finally got Holly all to myself
without Chirag, or anyone else!"

984
01:17:03,457 --> 01:17:06,544
- Give it back, Rodrick! Give it back.
- No way.

985
01:18:06,353 --> 01:18:08,022
Record, record, record.

986
01:18:35,883 --> 01:18:37,718
I'm in the ladies?

987
01:18:57,071 --> 01:19:00,241
Peeping Tom!
There's a Peeping Tom in there!

988
01:19:00,324 --> 01:19:04,161
Peeping Tom!
There's a Peeping Tom in there!

989
01:19:04,662 --> 01:19:06,080
Let's get him!

990
01:19:06,372 --> 01:19:09,500
What do you think you are doing in there?

991
01:19:09,583 --> 01:19:11,794
We'll come in and get you!

992
01:19:12,336 --> 01:19:15,130
- Take that, you Peeping Tom!
- Let's get him!

993
01:19:15,214 --> 01:19:16,423
Get out of here!

994
01:19:17,716 --> 01:19:19,051
Stop that pervert!

995
01:19:19,468 --> 01:19:21,303
The little whippersnapper!

996
01:19:22,346 --> 01:19:24,348
I've got him! I've got him!

997
01:19:25,015 --> 01:19:26,350
Shame on you!

998
01:19:26,725 --> 01:19:27,893
I've got him in a headlock!

999
01:19:30,396 --> 01:19:31,689
I'm not the Peeping Tom!

1000
01:19:31,772 --> 01:19:33,774
- I'm not the Peeping Tom!
- Where'd he go?

1001
01:19:38,821 --> 01:19:40,531
Did he just come out of the ladies' room?

1002
01:19:48,038 --> 01:19:49,540
Hey, Greg!

1003
01:19:50,499 --> 01:19:51,667
What's new?

1004
01:19:55,504 --> 01:19:57,256
Well, my life is officially over.

1005
01:19:57,756 --> 01:20:01,010
Now that Rodrick has that tape of me
running around in my underwear...

1006
01:20:01,594 --> 01:20:03,053
he basically owns me.

1007
01:20:05,681 --> 01:20:09,894
The day of the talent show came around
and Mom and Dad made us both go.

1008
01:20:09,977 --> 01:20:13,355
Something about supporting
the community, or whatever.

1009
01:20:13,439 --> 01:20:14,607
Scotty!

1010
01:20:16,108 --> 01:20:17,443
Come on!

1011
01:20:18,736 --> 01:20:20,070
Scotty! Come on!

1012
01:20:20,154 --> 01:20:22,156
You don't wanna let the magic fans down,
do you?

1013
01:20:22,573 --> 01:20:23,574
Go away!

1014
01:20:23,657 --> 01:20:25,284
Rowley, what's wrong?

1015
01:20:25,367 --> 01:20:29,622
My assistant, Scotty, got stage fright
and now he doesn't want to do the show.

1016
01:20:29,705 --> 01:20:32,291
Maybe Greg would help out.
He could be your assistant.

1017
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:35,669
What? No way!

1018
01:20:35,753 --> 01:20:38,297
What? Rowley is your best friend.

1019
01:20:38,380 --> 01:20:39,840
This is important to him.
You need to do this.

1020
01:20:39,924 --> 01:20:41,800
It's okay, Mrs. Heffley.

1021
01:20:42,134 --> 01:20:44,887
Greg is just afraid that Holly Hills
will think less of him.

1022
01:20:44,970 --> 01:20:45,971
Rowley.

1023
01:20:46,388 --> 01:20:49,600
- Mom, can we talk in private?
- Sure.

1024
01:20:49,683 --> 01:20:51,518
Scotty, please.

1025
01:20:53,812 --> 01:20:55,189
- Look...
- Who's this Holly Hills?

1026
01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:57,274
- Is she your girlfriend?
- No!

1027
01:20:57,358 --> 01:20:59,777
She's just some girl
who happens to be a friend

1028
01:20:59,860 --> 01:21:01,904
who I don't want to be humiliated
in front of.

1029
01:21:01,987 --> 01:21:03,197
I see your point.

1030
01:21:04,114 --> 01:21:06,450
- So is this Holly in your class?
- Mom!

1031
01:21:06,533 --> 01:21:07,533
Okay.

1032
01:21:08,827 --> 01:21:09,912
Here we go.

1033
01:21:10,204 --> 01:21:12,039
So, are you going to make me do it?

1034
01:21:12,665 --> 01:21:13,791
Please, Scotty.

1035
01:21:14,667 --> 01:21:17,294
No. No, I get it. I get it.

1036
01:21:18,837 --> 01:21:20,172
Can you at least point her out to me?

1037
01:21:21,590 --> 01:21:22,883
Okay, okay, I'll stop.

1038
01:21:30,349 --> 01:21:33,560
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

1039
01:21:33,644 --> 01:21:37,648
welcome to Plainview's Most Talented!

1040
01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:44,446
And without further ado,
Ms. Patty Farrell!

1041
01:21:55,582 --> 01:22:02,297
Memory
All alone in the moonlight

1042
01:22:02,381 --> 01:22:06,593
I can smile at the old days

1043
01:22:06,677 --> 01:22:10,389
I was beautiful then

1044
01:22:10,472 --> 01:22:12,057
Wow, she's really good.

1045
01:22:12,141 --> 01:22:14,977
I remember the time

1046
01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:19,606
I knew what happiness was

1047
01:22:20,065 --> 01:22:26,697
Let the memory live again

1048
01:22:27,281 --> 01:22:30,117
Touch me

1049
01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:34,204
It's so easy to leave me

1050
01:22:34,288 --> 01:22:38,167
All alone with the memory

1051
01:22:38,250 --> 01:22:41,754
Of my days in the sun

1052
01:22:42,379 --> 01:22:45,340
If you touch me...

1053
01:22:45,924 --> 01:22:48,302
Greg, she's cute.

1054
01:22:48,385 --> 01:22:51,096
- She's super cute.
- Mom!

1055
01:22:51,513 --> 01:22:55,726
Look, a new day

1056
01:22:56,852 --> 01:23:03,859
Has begun

1057
01:23:07,237 --> 01:23:08,405
Thank you!

1058
01:23:15,788 --> 01:23:17,956
Say hello to the boys and girls, Freggers.

1059
01:23:18,457 --> 01:23:21,543
Hello, boys and girls! I love you.

1060
01:23:21,627 --> 01:23:25,422
And tonight, when you are all fast asleep,

1061
01:23:25,506 --> 01:23:31,220
I'm going to crawl through your window
and give you all a big hug!

1062
01:23:44,900 --> 01:23:46,735
Hey, you could do that.

1063
01:23:47,569 --> 01:23:48,472
Right?

1064
01:23:48,487 --> 01:23:49,571
Yeah.

1065
01:24:13,178 --> 01:24:16,723
You can't go on without me.
I started Löded Diper. I'm the backbone!

1066
01:24:16,807 --> 01:24:19,643
Well, we got a new backbone now, dude.

1067
01:24:20,435 --> 01:24:21,562
This guy.

1068
01:24:22,813 --> 01:24:24,648
That's rock and roll, bro.

1069
01:24:27,234 --> 01:24:31,113
Did you guys see the audience?
Oh, man! It's huge.

1070
01:24:36,118 --> 01:24:38,370
This roller-skating kid is really good!

1071
01:24:39,204 --> 01:24:40,998
Don't you think...?

1072
01:24:47,296 --> 01:24:50,841
Greg! Where have you been?
I've been looking all over for you.

1073
01:24:50,924 --> 01:24:54,094
Mom, you need to let Rodrick
play in the talent show tonight.

1074
01:24:54,178 --> 01:24:57,139
Greg, we've been over this.
He needs to learn a lesson.

1075
01:24:57,222 --> 01:24:59,892
His band is playing without him,
and it's not fair.

1076
01:24:59,975 --> 01:25:03,395
And I'm sure that's very hard on him,
but I can't go back on the punishment.

1077
01:25:05,147 --> 01:25:06,648
- Mom.
- Yes?

1078
01:25:08,775 --> 01:25:11,320
You let Rodrick play in the talent show...

1079
01:25:13,071 --> 01:25:14,156
I'll...

1080
01:25:16,366 --> 01:25:17,951
do the magic thing with Rowley.

1081
01:25:19,578 --> 01:25:22,998
Really? You'd do that?

1082
01:25:25,542 --> 01:25:27,336
You'll be Rowley's partner,
even though you said

1083
01:25:27,419 --> 01:25:30,047
it's totally embarrassing and humiliating?

1084
01:25:31,673 --> 01:25:34,218
You're willing to do that
just so your brother can play?

1085
01:25:37,971 --> 01:25:38,971
Yes.

1086
01:25:43,018 --> 01:25:44,186
Come here.

1087
01:25:49,816 --> 01:25:52,819
I mean, how bad can it be?

1088
01:26:03,622 --> 01:26:06,208
Scotty was right.
There's a lot of people out there.

1089
01:26:06,750 --> 01:26:09,544
Just start with your opening trick,
like you rehearsed at home.

1090
01:26:10,629 --> 01:26:13,715
Forget about all the people. Go.

1091
01:26:19,513 --> 01:26:22,641
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

1092
01:26:22,724 --> 01:26:28,522
I am the Remarkable Rowley,
master of illusion.

1093
01:26:29,731 --> 01:26:35,362
And joining me onstage
is my faithful assistant, Scotty...

1094
01:26:35,445 --> 01:26:36,446
Greg!

1095
01:26:37,823 --> 01:26:38,949
Greg.

1096
01:26:40,075 --> 01:26:44,663
Who looks a little cold.
Maybe he needs a scarf.

1097
01:26:54,298 --> 01:26:56,800
Ew! Don't put them on me!
They're still wet!

1098
01:27:01,471 --> 01:27:03,974
Sorry, Greg. Here's a peace offering.

1099
01:27:10,731 --> 01:27:13,483
Fly. Fly away. Be free, little friend.

1100
01:27:19,740 --> 01:27:21,283
That thing's dead.

1101
01:27:21,366 --> 01:27:23,577
I think I had him in my pocket too long.

1102
01:27:26,038 --> 01:27:27,331
No hard feelings?

1103
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:48,018
Keep going. We're a hit!

1104
01:27:48,435 --> 01:27:52,522
And now, for my grand finale...

1105
01:27:53,106 --> 01:27:55,442
the saw-the-lady-in-half trick!

1106
01:27:58,528 --> 01:27:59,821
If you will.

1107
01:28:04,618 --> 01:28:06,453
- Push out the feet.
- Okay.

1108
01:28:08,330 --> 01:28:12,125
No trap doors. No chance of escape.

1109
01:28:13,502 --> 01:28:17,297
I will now miraculously saw Greg in half.

1110
01:28:18,298 --> 01:28:20,092
Wait. Forget it! I want out!

1111
01:28:22,969 --> 01:28:25,222
- What are you doing?
- This is the showstopper!

1112
01:28:25,305 --> 01:28:26,598
Good, then stop!

1113
01:28:32,646 --> 01:28:36,733
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Remarkable Rowley!

1114
01:28:38,652 --> 01:28:40,654
And Greg the Great!

1115
01:28:43,323 --> 01:28:44,699
That should have been me!

1116
01:28:53,542 --> 01:28:55,710
We killed. And I didn't have to die!

1117
01:28:55,794 --> 01:28:58,130
It was even better than it was
in the rehearsals.

1118
01:28:58,463 --> 01:28:59,506
- Hi.
- Can I have your autograph?

1119
01:28:59,589 --> 01:29:00,632
Sure. Sure.

1120
01:29:00,715 --> 01:29:03,301
Your performance was pathetic,
Greg Heffley!

1121
01:29:03,385 --> 01:29:06,096
Only a moron would find humour
in bird poop!

1122
01:29:09,683 --> 01:29:11,226
You stupid bird!

1123
01:29:13,353 --> 01:29:17,149
Oh, my gosh. You guys did great.
That was really funny.

1124
01:29:17,232 --> 01:29:20,610
- The unitard or the performance?
- Both.

1125
01:29:20,694 --> 01:29:24,656
- Thank you, thank you! Thank you.
- Just do your best, honey.

1126
01:29:27,701 --> 01:29:28,827
Can I borrow your eyeliner?

1127
01:29:30,287 --> 01:29:31,287
Yeah...

1128
01:29:36,334 --> 01:29:37,711
Looks like you guys made up.

1129
01:29:40,255 --> 01:29:41,465
We're brothers.

1130
01:29:41,548 --> 01:29:43,592
Please welcome to the stage...

1131
01:29:44,176 --> 01:29:47,762
Löded Diper! Oh, yeah!

1132
01:29:47,846 --> 01:29:50,056
Mom, go! Get off the stage!

1133
01:29:52,726 --> 01:29:55,645
We are Löded Diper!

1134
01:30:05,822 --> 01:30:07,824
You told us we were losers

1135
01:30:07,908 --> 01:30:10,160
And we can't do nothing right

1136
01:30:10,702 --> 01:30:17,709
You said we'd never make it
But just look at us tonight

1137
01:30:17,792 --> 01:30:20,712
Exploded Diper

1138
01:30:20,795 --> 01:30:22,422
All over the place!

1139
01:30:22,506 --> 01:30:25,425
Exploded Diper

1140
01:30:25,509 --> 01:30:27,010
In your face

1141
01:30:27,552 --> 01:30:30,013
Exploded Diper

1142
01:30:30,347 --> 01:30:31,973
We can't be stopped

1143
01:30:32,057 --> 01:30:34,476
Exploded Diper

1144
01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:36,811
Your head is gonna pop

1145
01:30:36,895 --> 01:30:39,856
Exploded Diper

1146
01:30:39,940 --> 01:30:42,108
You can't keep us down

1147
01:30:42,192 --> 01:30:44,319
We're gonna hit the fan

1148
01:30:44,402 --> 01:30:47,197
And rock this sleepy town

1149
01:30:52,452 --> 01:30:54,162
Get up, all you haters!

1150
01:30:54,746 --> 01:30:56,748
Dude, they love us!

1151
01:30:57,624 --> 01:30:59,751
No hard feelings, right, bro?

1152
01:30:59,834 --> 01:31:01,461
Hey, Bill, you know what?

1153
01:31:02,212 --> 01:31:04,673
When we're done tonight,
you're out of the band.

1154
01:31:05,048 --> 01:31:07,676
- What?
- That's rock and roll, bro.

1155
01:31:08,718 --> 01:31:10,887
- Löded
- Diper

1156
01:31:15,642 --> 01:31:16,977
Come here. Look.

1157
01:31:18,186 --> 01:31:19,396
Dad? Are we going to tell them

1158
01:31:19,479 --> 01:31:22,857
that the audience
went crazy for Mom's weird dancing?

1159
01:31:24,609 --> 01:31:26,861
He's happy. She's happy.

1160
01:31:27,529 --> 01:31:30,490
I say we keep this one
between the two of us, okay?

1161
01:31:30,574 --> 01:31:32,659
Exploded Diper

1162
01:31:32,742 --> 01:31:35,120
It's us, the Diper
And yes, we rock!

1163
01:31:50,427 --> 01:31:53,263
So, I just wanted to say that...

1164
01:31:53,346 --> 01:31:56,558
you getting Mom to let me play
last night was really cool.

1165
01:31:57,058 --> 01:31:59,144
Yeah, well, I kind of owed you.

1166
01:32:01,062 --> 01:32:03,315
Oh, and here.

1167
01:32:07,611 --> 01:32:10,822
- The tape? You're giving it to me?
- Hey!

1168
01:32:12,073 --> 01:32:16,202
Don't make a big deal about it
or I'll post it on YouTube, okay?

1169
01:32:27,172 --> 01:32:28,673
Now get out.

1170
01:32:30,342 --> 01:32:31,342
Doofus.

1171
01:32:32,802 --> 01:32:33,803
Okay.

1172
01:32:35,055 --> 01:32:36,055
Later.

1173
01:32:37,057 --> 01:32:38,266
Butt-brain!

1174
01:32:52,072 --> 01:32:54,949
You know, I guess having a big brother
isn't all that bad.

1175
01:32:55,450 --> 01:32:59,287
Maybe we don't always get along,
but I know he's gonna be there for me.

1176
01:32:59,371 --> 01:33:02,916
Hey, I just spilled grape juice on
the couch and kind of blamed it on you.

1177
01:33:03,416 --> 01:33:04,459
Later.

1178
01:33:09,839 --> 01:33:11,007
I'll get him back.

1179
01:33:11,925 --> 01:33:12,925
Action!

1180
01:34:58,823 --> 01:35:00,241
Okay, it's uploaded.

1181
01:35:04,829 --> 01:35:05,914
Holy cow.

1182
01:35:07,624 --> 01:35:09,959
This is huge! We're an internet sensation!

1183
01:35:10,043 --> 01:35:12,754
Greg! You are so dead!