1
00:00:41,899 --> 00:00:44,634
For more
than a year, ominous rumors...

2
00:00:44,702 --> 00:00:48,672
had been privately circulating
among high-level western leaders...

3
00:00:48,739 --> 00:00:52,642
That the soviet union had been at
work on what was darkly hinted to be...

4
00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:56,447
The ultimate weapon, a doomsday device.

5
00:00:56,514 --> 00:01:00,451
Intelligence sources traced the site
of the top-secret russian project...

6
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:04,488
To the perpetually fog-shrouded
wasteland below the arctic peaks...

7
00:01:04,556 --> 00:01:06,523
Of the Zhokhov islands.

8
00:01:06,591 --> 00:01:09,526
What they were building, or
why it should be located...

9
00:01:09,594 --> 00:01:14,498
In such a remote and desolate
place, no one could say.

10
00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:48,017
General Ripper, sir.
Group captain Mandrake speaking.

11
00:03:48,085 --> 00:03:51,255
This is general Ripper speaking.
Yes, sir.

12
00:03:51,322 --> 00:03:54,791
- Do you recognize my voice?
- I do, sir. Why?

13
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:57,661
- Why do you think?
- I don't know, sir.

14
00:03:57,729 --> 00:04:00,330
We spoke a few moments ago
on the phone, didn't we?

15
00:04:00,398 --> 00:04:05,669
You don't think I'd ask unless it
was pretty damned important, do you?

16
00:04:05,737 --> 00:04:09,439
No, I don't, sir. Let's see
if we can stay on the ball.

17
00:04:09,507 --> 00:04:12,909
Has the wing confirmed holding
at their fail-safe points?

18
00:04:12,977 --> 00:04:15,845
Yes, sir. The confirmations
have just come in.

19
00:04:15,913 --> 00:04:19,683
Very well. Now, listen to me carefully.

20
00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:22,486
The base is being put on condition red.

21
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,721
I want this flashed to
all sections immediately.

22
00:04:24,789 --> 00:04:28,124
Condition red. Jolly good.
Keeps the men on their toes.

23
00:04:28,192 --> 00:04:33,397
- Group captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise.
- Not an exercise, sir?

24
00:04:33,464 --> 00:04:37,634
I shouldn't tell you this,
Mandrake, but you're a good officer.

25
00:04:37,702 --> 00:04:41,705
You have a right to know. It
looks like we're in a shooting war.

26
00:04:41,773 --> 00:04:46,410
Oh, hell. Are the
russians involved, sir?

27
00:04:46,477 --> 00:04:49,346
That's all I've been told.
It came in on the red phone.

28
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,550
My orders are for this base to be
sealed tight. That's what I mean to do.

29
00:04:53,618 --> 00:04:57,187
Now, I want you to transmit plan R.

30
00:04:57,254 --> 00:04:59,189
R for robert, to the wing.

31
00:04:59,256 --> 00:05:02,659
Plan r for robert.
Is it that bad, sir?

32
00:05:02,727 --> 00:05:05,228
It's pretty hairy.
Yes, sir.

33
00:05:05,296 --> 00:05:07,331
Plan r for robert, sir.

34
00:05:07,398 --> 00:05:10,701
Now, last and possibly most important,

35
00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:14,371
I want all privately owned radios
to be immediately impounded.

36
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:19,042
They might be used to issue
instructions to saboteurs.

37
00:05:19,109 --> 00:05:22,212
As I previously arranged, air
police will have lists of all owners.

38
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:26,316
I want every one collected
without exception. Yes, sir.

39
00:05:26,384 --> 00:05:28,452
After you've done
that, report back to me.

40
00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:58,214
in order to guard
against surprise nuclear attack,

41
00:05:58,282 --> 00:06:03,553
America's strategic air command
maintains a large force of b-52 bombers...

42
00:06:03,621 --> 00:06:05,955
Airborne 24 hours a day.

43
00:06:06,023 --> 00:06:10,894
Each b-52 can deliver a nuclear
bomb load of 50 megatons,

44
00:06:10,961 --> 00:06:15,965
Equal to 16 times the total explosive
force of all the bombs and shells...

45
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:20,771
Used by all the armies in World War II.

46
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,807
Based in america, the airborne
alert force is deployed...

47
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:26,777
From the persian gulf
to the arctic ocean.

48
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,579
But they have one
geographical factor in common.

49
00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:33,650
They are all two hours from
their targets inside russia.

50
00:07:53,197 --> 00:07:56,833
Major kong, I know you'll
think this is crazy,

51
00:07:56,901 --> 00:08:00,904
But I just got a message
from base over the c.R.M. 114.

52
00:08:00,972 --> 00:08:03,006
It decodes as wing attack plan r.

53
00:08:03,073 --> 00:08:06,743
R for romeo.

54
00:08:08,546 --> 00:08:12,782
Goldie, did you say wing attack plan r?

55
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:15,418
Yes, sir, I have.

56
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,591
Goldie, how many times
have I told you guys...

57
00:08:21,659 --> 00:08:24,761
I don't want horsin'
around on the airplane?

58
00:08:24,829 --> 00:08:27,230
I'm not horsing around,
sir. That's how it decodes.

59
00:08:27,297 --> 00:08:30,967
I've been to one world
fair, a picnic and a rodeo,

60
00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:33,837
And that's the stupidest
thing I heard over earphones.

61
00:08:33,905 --> 00:08:35,839
You sure you got today's code?

62
00:08:35,907 --> 00:08:38,408
Yes, sir, it is.

63
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:41,044
There's just gotta be somethin' wrong.

64
00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:43,513
Wait a second. I'm comin' back.

65
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,751
Maybe you'd better get
a confirmation from base.

66
00:09:21,819 --> 00:09:24,120
Yes, sir.

67
00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:46,843
Major kong, is it possible this
is some kind of loyalty test?

68
00:09:46,911 --> 00:09:50,614
You know, give the go code and then
recall to see who would actually go?

69
00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:54,985
Ain't nobody ever got the go code yet.

70
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,286
Old Ripper wouldn't
be givin' us plan r...

71
00:09:57,354 --> 00:09:59,856
Unless them ruskies had
already clobbered washington...

72
00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:02,659
And a lot of other towns
with a sneak attack.

73
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,262
- Yes, sir.
- Major kong, message from base confirmed.

74
00:10:11,102 --> 00:10:14,504
Well, boys, I reckon this is it.

75
00:10:14,571 --> 00:10:19,342
Nuclear combat toe-to-toe
with the ruskies.

76
00:10:32,823 --> 00:10:37,593
Now, look, boys, I ain't much
of a hand at makin' speeches.

77
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:42,431
But I got a fair idea that
something doggone important...

78
00:10:42,499 --> 00:10:45,101
Is goin' on back there.

79
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:48,437
I got a fair idea of the kind
of personal emotions that...

80
00:10:48,505 --> 00:10:52,175
Some of you fellows may be thinkin'.

81
00:10:52,242 --> 00:10:54,778
Heck, I reckon you
wouldn't be human beings...

82
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:59,415
If you didn't have pretty strong
personal feelin's about nuclear combat.

83
00:10:59,483 --> 00:11:02,552
But I want you to remember one thing.

84
00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:05,321
The folks back home is countin' on ya.

85
00:11:05,389 --> 00:11:09,125
By golly, we ain't
about to let 'em down.

86
00:11:09,193 --> 00:11:12,062
Tell ya somethin' else.

87
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:16,933
If this thing turns out to be half
as important as I figure it might be,

88
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:21,437
I'd say you're all in line for
some important promotions...

89
00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:24,874
And personal citations
when this thing's over.

90
00:11:24,942 --> 00:11:27,844
That goes for every last one of ya,

91
00:11:27,912 --> 00:11:31,715
Regardless of your race,
color or your creed.

92
00:11:31,782 --> 00:11:35,284
Now let's get this thing on the
hump. We got some flyin' to do.

93
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:51,201
buck, should I get it?

94
00:11:51,268 --> 00:11:53,837
yeah, you'll have to.

95
00:11:58,943 --> 00:12:02,511
Hello? Yes, general Turgidson is here,

96
00:12:02,579 --> 00:12:05,581
But he can't come to
the phone at the moment.

97
00:12:05,649 --> 00:12:08,952
This is his secretary miss scott.

98
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:13,589
Freddie, how are you? Fine. And you?

99
00:12:13,657 --> 00:12:18,361
We were just catching up on
some of the general's paperwork.

100
00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:21,697
Freddie, he's very
tied up at the moment.

101
00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:25,368
I'm afraid he can't come to
the phone. Just a minute.

102
00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:28,972
General Turgidson,
colonel puntrich calling.

103
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:34,911
Tell him to call back. The general
says could you call back in a minute?

104
00:12:34,979 --> 00:12:37,546
He says it can't wait!

105
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:41,117
Aw, for pete's— find
out what he wants.

106
00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:45,155
Freddie, the general is in
the powder room right now.

107
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:48,691
Could you tell me what it's about?

108
00:12:48,759 --> 00:12:52,996
Just a second. Apparently they monitored
a transmission eight minutes ago...

109
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:56,166
From burpelson air force base.

110
00:12:56,233 --> 00:13:02,138
Right. It was directed to the
843rd bomb wing on airborne alert.

111
00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:07,743
It decoded as wing attack plan r.

112
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:13,082
Well, uh, tell him to call
what's-his-name, base commander Ripper.

113
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,118
Do I have to think of everything?

114
00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:19,889
The general suggests you call general
Ripper, the 843rd base commander.

115
00:13:19,957 --> 00:13:23,226
Oh. All communications are dead!

116
00:13:23,294 --> 00:13:26,729
Bull! Tell him to do it himself.

117
00:13:26,797 --> 00:13:31,701
Freddie, the general asks if you
could possibly try again yourself.

118
00:13:31,768 --> 00:13:36,439
I see. He says he's tried personally
several times, but everything is dead.

119
00:13:36,506 --> 00:13:40,676
Even the normal phone
lines are shut down.

120
00:13:46,483 --> 00:13:50,786
Fred? Buck. What's it look like?

121
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:56,092
Yeah. Well, are you sure it's plan r?

122
00:13:57,995 --> 00:14:02,232
Huh? What's cooking on
the threat board? Nothing!

123
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:05,634
Nothing at all?

124
00:14:05,702 --> 00:14:09,272
I don't like the look of this, fred.

125
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,008
Tell you what you better do, old buddy.

126
00:14:12,076 --> 00:14:15,611
Give elmo and charlie a blast and
bump everything up to condition red.

127
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,914
Stand by the blower.
I'll get back to you.

128
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,084
What's up? Nothing.

129
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:25,088
Where's my shorts? On the
floor. Where are you going?

130
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:30,026
No place. I thought I might
mosey over to the war room...

131
00:14:30,094 --> 00:14:32,228
For a few minutes to see
what's doing over there.

132
00:14:32,296 --> 00:14:35,398
It's 3:00 in the morning.
The air force never sleeps.

133
00:14:35,465 --> 00:14:40,103
Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either.

134
00:14:41,638 --> 00:14:44,941
I know how it is, baby.

135
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,843
Tell you what you do.

136
00:14:47,912 --> 00:14:53,383
You just start your countdown, and old
bucky will be back here before you can say,

137
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:55,684
"blastoff!"

138
00:14:55,752 --> 00:15:01,024
your commie has
no regard for human life, not even his own.

139
00:15:01,091 --> 00:15:05,028
For this reason, men, I
want to impress upon you...

140
00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:09,098
The need for extreme watchfulness.

141
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:12,635
The enemy may come individually
or he may come in strength.

142
00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:14,971
He may even come in the
uniform of our own troops.

143
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,674
But however he comes, we must stop him.

144
00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:22,378
We must not allow him to
gain entrance to this base.

145
00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:26,950
Now, I am going to give
you three simple rules.

146
00:15:27,017 --> 00:15:29,285
First, trust no one,

147
00:15:29,353 --> 00:15:33,823
Whatever his uniform or rank,
unless he is known to you personally.

148
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:37,460
Second, anyone or
anything that approaches...

149
00:15:37,527 --> 00:15:41,797
Within 200 yards of the
perimeter is to be fired upon.

150
00:15:41,865 --> 00:15:46,802
Third, if in doubt, shoot first
and ask questions afterward.

151
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:51,607
I would sooner accept
a few casualties through accident,

152
00:15:51,675 --> 00:15:55,611
Than lose the entire base and its
personnel through carelessness.

153
00:15:55,679 --> 00:16:00,416
Any variation on these rules
must come from me personally.

154
00:16:00,484 --> 00:16:03,453
Now, men, in conclusion,

155
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,556
I would like to say
that in the two years...

156
00:16:07,624 --> 00:16:11,527
It has been my privilege to
be your commanding officer,

157
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,563
I have always expected
the best from you.

158
00:16:14,631 --> 00:16:18,734
You have never given me anything
less than that. ♪

159
00:16:18,802 --> 00:16:22,972
Today the nation is counting
on us. ♪

160
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,608
We are not going to let them down.

161
00:16:25,675 --> 00:16:27,710
Good luck to you all.

162
00:16:57,841 --> 00:17:01,377
Here's the attack profile, sir.

163
00:17:28,138 --> 00:17:30,739
This is your attack profile.

164
00:17:30,807 --> 00:17:34,009
"to ensure that the enemy cannot
monitor voice transmission...

165
00:17:34,078 --> 00:17:38,714
"or plant false transmission,
the c.R.M. 114...

166
00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:41,451
"is to be switched into
all receiver circuits.

167
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:47,190
"the emergency base code prefix is
to be set on the dials of the c.R.M.

168
00:17:47,257 --> 00:17:52,095
"this will block any transmission other
than those preceded by a code prefix.

169
00:17:52,162 --> 00:17:55,831
Stand by to set code prefix."

170
00:17:55,899 --> 00:18:00,269
- Roger. Ready to set code prefix.
- "set code prefix."

171
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:11,280
Code prefix set.

172
00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:13,048
"lock code prefix."

173
00:18:15,185 --> 00:18:17,120
Code prefix locked.

174
00:18:17,187 --> 00:18:20,689
"switch all receiver circuits
to c.R.M. Discriminators."

175
00:18:20,757 --> 00:18:25,128
All circuits switched
to c.R.M. Discriminators.

176
00:18:25,195 --> 00:18:27,062
"check auto destruct circuits."

177
00:18:29,199 --> 00:18:32,335
Auto destruct circuits checked.

178
00:18:37,674 --> 00:18:42,111
"primary target: The
I.C.B.M. Complex at laputa.

179
00:18:42,179 --> 00:18:46,382
"target reference: Yankee, golf, tango,

180
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,884
"three, six, zero.

181
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:54,723
"30 megaton nuclear device fused
for air burst at 10,000 feet.

182
00:18:54,791 --> 00:18:59,428
"20 megaton nuclear device will
be used if first malfunctions.

183
00:18:59,496 --> 00:19:02,031
"otherwise, proceed to secondary target:

184
00:19:02,098 --> 00:19:06,802
"missile complex seven
miles east of borchov.

185
00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:10,139
"target reference:
November, bravo, x-ray,

186
00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:12,808
"one, zero, eight.

187
00:19:12,876 --> 00:19:18,047
Fused air burst at 10—"
check— "12,000 feet."

188
00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:33,229
Excuse me, sir. Something rather
interesting has just cropped up.

189
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,299
Listen to that. Music.
Civilian broadcasting.

190
00:19:36,367 --> 00:19:39,001
I think those fellows in the pentagon...

191
00:19:39,069 --> 00:19:42,071
Have given us some sort of
exercise to test our readiness.

192
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,240
Personally, I think it's
taking things a bit too far.

193
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:47,577
Our fellows will be inside russian
radar cover in about 20 minutes.

194
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:52,215
Listen to that. Full of
stations all churning it out.

195
00:19:52,283 --> 00:19:54,217
Mandrake? Yes, sir.

196
00:19:54,285 --> 00:19:57,587
I issued instructions for
all radios to be impounded.

197
00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:01,957
I was in the process of impounding this
very one when I happened to switch it on.

198
00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:05,928
I thought, our fellows hitting russian radar
in 20 minutes, dropping all their stuff.

199
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:10,132
I'd better tell you, because
if they do, it'll cause a stink.

200
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:14,036
Group captain, the
officer exchange program...

201
00:20:14,104 --> 00:20:18,040
Does not give you any special
prerogatives to question my orders.

202
00:20:18,108 --> 00:20:22,312
I realize that, sir, but I thought
you'd be pleased to hear the news.

203
00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:25,448
After all, let's face it.

204
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:30,086
We don't want to start a nuclear
war unless we have to, do we?

205
00:20:30,153 --> 00:20:32,755
Please, sit down. And
turn that thing off.

206
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,957
yes, sir.

207
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:39,962
What about the planes, sir? Surely we
must issue the recall code immediately.

208
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,898
The planes are not going to be recalled.

209
00:20:42,966 --> 00:20:47,770
My attack orders have been
issued, and the orders stand.

210
00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:49,772
If you'll excuse me for saying so, sir,

211
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,208
That would be to my way
of thinking rather...

212
00:20:52,276 --> 00:20:54,644
An odd way of looking at it.

213
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,879
If a russian attack was in progress,

214
00:20:56,947 --> 00:21:00,683
We would certainly not be
hearing civilian broadcasting.

215
00:21:00,751 --> 00:21:03,786
Are you certain? I'm
absolutely positive.

216
00:21:03,854 --> 00:21:08,391
What if it is true? I'm afraid
I'm still not with you, sir.

217
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:11,093
Because,
I mean—

218
00:21:11,161 --> 00:21:13,429
If a russian attack was not in progress,

219
00:21:13,497 --> 00:21:19,201
Then your use of plan r, in fact,
your orders to the entire wing—

220
00:21:22,139 --> 00:21:26,142
Well, I would say, sir,

221
00:21:26,209 --> 00:21:31,147
That there was something
dreadfully wrong somewhere.

222
00:21:31,214 --> 00:21:34,150
Why don't you take it
easy, group captain?

223
00:21:34,217 --> 00:21:37,287
Please make me a drink of
grain alcohol and rainwater,

224
00:21:37,354 --> 00:21:40,556
And help yourself to
whatever you'd like.

225
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:52,502
General Ripper, sir, as an
officer in her majesty's air force,

226
00:21:52,569 --> 00:21:55,971
It is my clear duty under
the present circumstances...

227
00:21:56,039 --> 00:22:00,743
To issue the recall code upon my own
authority and bring back the wing.

228
00:22:00,811 --> 00:22:03,045
If you'll excuse me, sir.

229
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:14,290
I'm afraid, sir, I must ask you
for the key and the recall code.

230
00:22:14,358 --> 00:22:16,292
Have you got them handy, sir?

231
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,761
I told you to take it
easy, group captain.

232
00:22:18,829 --> 00:22:21,464
There's nothing anybody
can do about this thing now.

233
00:22:21,532 --> 00:22:23,966
I'm the only person who knows
the three-letter code group.

234
00:22:24,034 --> 00:22:27,704
Then I must insist, sir,
that you give them to me.

235
00:22:34,745 --> 00:22:39,649
Do I take it, sir, that you are
threatening a brother officer with a gun?

236
00:22:40,884 --> 00:22:46,155
Mandrake, I suppose it
never occurred to you...

237
00:22:46,223 --> 00:22:49,759
That while we're chatting
here so enjoyably,

238
00:22:49,827 --> 00:22:53,596
A decision is being
made by the president...

239
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,833
And the joint chiefs in the
war room at the pentagon.

240
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:59,635
When they realize...

241
00:22:59,703 --> 00:23:03,105
There is no possibility
of recalling the wing,

242
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:07,943
There will be only one
course of action open.

243
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:10,713
Total commitment.

244
00:23:12,115 --> 00:23:17,653
Mandrake, do you recall what
clemenceau once said about war?

245
00:23:17,721 --> 00:23:20,890
Uh, no, I don't think I do, sir. No.

246
00:23:22,259 --> 00:23:25,294
He said war was too important
to be left to the generals.

247
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:29,965
When he said that 50 years ago,

248
00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:33,035
He might have been right.

249
00:23:33,103 --> 00:23:38,908
But, today, war is too important
to be left to politicians.

250
00:23:38,975 --> 00:23:43,479
They have neither the
time, the training...

251
00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:47,517
Nor the inclination
for strategic thought.

252
00:23:50,153 --> 00:23:53,823
I can no longer sit back and allow...

253
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:58,961
Communist infiltration,
communist indoctrination,

254
00:23:59,029 --> 00:24:01,964
Communist subversion...

255
00:24:02,032 --> 00:24:06,068
And the international
communist conspiracy...

256
00:24:06,136 --> 00:24:11,674
To sap and impurify all of
our precious bodily fluids.

257
00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:20,049
Staines, is everybody here?

258
00:24:20,116 --> 00:24:22,685
Mr. President, the secretary
of state is in vietnam.

259
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:26,689
The secretary of defense is in laos,
and the vice president is in mexico city.

260
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:30,025
We can establish contact with
them at anytime, if it's necessary.

261
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,895
The undersecretaries
are all here. Right.

262
00:24:32,963 --> 00:24:34,897
General Turgidson, what's going on?

263
00:24:34,965 --> 00:24:39,068
Mr. President,

264
00:24:39,135 --> 00:24:42,705
About 35 minutes ago,

265
00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:46,909
General Jack Ripper, the
commanding general of, uh,

266
00:24:46,977 --> 00:24:49,411
Burpelson air force base,

267
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,648
Issued an order to the
34 b-52s of his wing,

268
00:24:52,716 --> 00:24:55,084
Which were airborne at the time,

269
00:24:55,151 --> 00:24:59,054
As part of a special exercise we were
holding called operation dropkick.

270
00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:03,893
It appears that the order
called for the planes...

271
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:07,262
To attack their targets inside russia.

272
00:25:07,330 --> 00:25:11,567
the planes are
fully armed with nuclear weapons...

273
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:15,204
With an average load
of 40 megatons each.

274
00:25:15,271 --> 00:25:21,143
The central display of russia will
indicate the position of the planes.

275
00:25:21,211 --> 00:25:24,714
The triangles are their primary targets.

276
00:25:24,781 --> 00:25:28,618
The squares are their secondary targets.

277
00:25:28,685 --> 00:25:32,054
The aircraft will begin
penetrating russian radar cover...

278
00:25:32,122 --> 00:25:34,790
Within, uh, 25 minutes.

279
00:25:34,858 --> 00:25:38,794
General Turgidson, I find this
very difficult to understand.

280
00:25:38,862 --> 00:25:42,264
I was under the impression that
I was the only one in authority...

281
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,600
To order the use of nuclear weapons.

282
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:47,469
Uh, that's right, sir.

283
00:25:47,538 --> 00:25:49,906
You are the only person
authorized to do so.

284
00:25:49,973 --> 00:25:54,309
Although I hate to judge
before all the facts are in,

285
00:25:54,377 --> 00:25:57,947
It's beginning to look like general
Ripper exceeded his authority.

286
00:25:58,015 --> 00:26:03,152
It certainly does. Far beyond the
point I would have imagined possible.

287
00:26:03,219 --> 00:26:06,556
Perhaps you're forgetting
the provisions of plan r, sir.

288
00:26:06,623 --> 00:26:09,491
Plan r?

289
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,529
Plan r is an emergency war plan,

290
00:26:13,597 --> 00:26:16,032
In which a lower echelon
commander may order...

291
00:26:16,099 --> 00:26:19,368
Nuclear retaliation
after a sneak attack,

292
00:26:19,436 --> 00:26:22,972
If the normal chain of
command has been disrupted.

293
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,808
You approved it, sir. You must remember.

294
00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:29,812
Surely you must recall,
sir, when senator beaufort...

295
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:34,283
Made that big hassle about our
deterrent lacking credibility.

296
00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:39,221
The idea was for plan r to be
a sort of retaliatory safeguard.

297
00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:41,657
A safeguard?

298
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:44,460
I admit the human element
seems to have failed us here.

299
00:26:44,527 --> 00:26:47,997
But the idea was to discourage
the ruskies from any hope...

300
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:50,532
That they could knock out
washington— and yourself, sir—

301
00:26:50,601 --> 00:26:53,002
As part of a general sneak attack...

302
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:57,006
And escape retaliation because of
lack of proper command and control.

303
00:26:57,074 --> 00:27:01,711
I assume the planes will return automatically
once they reach their fail-safe points?

304
00:27:01,778 --> 00:27:07,382
I'm afraid not. The planes were
holding at their fail-safe points...

305
00:27:07,450 --> 00:27:09,451
When the go code was issued.

306
00:27:09,519 --> 00:27:13,990
Once they fly beyond fail-safe, they do
not require a second order to proceed.

307
00:27:14,057 --> 00:27:16,025
They will continue until
they reach their targets.

308
00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:19,161
Why haven't you radioed the planes,
countermandering the go code?

309
00:27:19,229 --> 00:27:24,033
Well, I'm afraid we're unable to
communicate with any of the aircraft.

310
00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:28,570
Why? As you may recall,
sir—

311
00:27:28,639 --> 00:27:32,374
One of the provisions
of plan r provides...

312
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:37,013
That once the go code is received,

313
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,716
The normal s.S.B.
Radios in the aircraft...

314
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,318
Are switched into a
special coded device,

315
00:27:43,386 --> 00:27:46,388
Which, I believe, is
designated as c.R.M. 114.

316
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:50,559
In order to prevent the enemy from
issuing fake or confusing orders,

317
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:54,664
C.R.M. 114 is designed
not to receive at all,

318
00:27:54,731 --> 00:28:00,169
Unless the message is proceeded by the
correct three-letter code group prefix.

319
00:28:00,236 --> 00:28:05,841
Do you mean to tell me, general Turgidson,
you will be unable to recall the aircraft?

320
00:28:05,909 --> 00:28:09,478
That's the size of it. However, we
are plowing through every possible...

321
00:28:09,546 --> 00:28:11,580
Three-letter combination of the code.

322
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:16,919
But since there are 17,000 permutations,

323
00:28:16,987 --> 00:28:20,522
It's going to take us about
two-and-a-half days to transmit them all.

324
00:28:20,590 --> 00:28:23,325
How soon did you say the planes
would penetrate russian radar cover?

325
00:28:23,393 --> 00:28:25,360
About 18 minutes from now.

326
00:28:25,428 --> 00:28:28,463
- Are you in contact with general Ripper?
- No, sir.

327
00:28:28,531 --> 00:28:31,901
General Ripper sealed off the
base and cut off communications.

328
00:28:31,968 --> 00:28:33,602
Where did you get this information?

329
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:37,406
General Ripper called strategic
air command headquarters...

330
00:28:37,473 --> 00:28:39,909
Shortly after he issued the go code.

331
00:28:39,976 --> 00:28:42,745
I have a portion of the
transcript of that conversation,

332
00:28:42,813 --> 00:28:46,248
If you'd like me to read it. Read it.

333
00:28:46,316 --> 00:28:50,019
the duty officer
asked general Ripper...

334
00:28:50,087 --> 00:28:53,322
To confirm the fact that he had
issued the go code, and he said,

335
00:28:53,389 --> 00:28:58,660
"yes, gentlemen, they are on their
way in and no one can bring them back.

336
00:28:58,729 --> 00:29:01,630
"for the sake of our
country and our way of life,

337
00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:04,266
"I suggest you get the
rest of sac in after them.

338
00:29:04,334 --> 00:29:09,238
"otherwise we will be totally
destroyed by red retaliation.

339
00:29:09,305 --> 00:29:14,744
"my boys will give you the best
kind of start: 1,400 megatons worth.

340
00:29:14,811 --> 00:29:18,247
"and you sure as hell
won't stop them now.

341
00:29:18,314 --> 00:29:21,316
"so let's get going.
There's no other choice.

342
00:29:21,384 --> 00:29:24,553
"god willing, we will prevail...

343
00:29:24,621 --> 00:29:27,123
"in peace and freedom from fear...

344
00:29:27,190 --> 00:29:29,558
"and in true health
through the purity...

345
00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:33,528
"and essence of our natural...

346
00:29:33,596 --> 00:29:36,031
"fluids.

347
00:29:36,099 --> 00:29:38,934
God bless you all."

348
00:29:39,936 --> 00:29:42,604
Then he hung up.

349
00:29:42,672 --> 00:29:46,375
We're still trying to figure out
the meaning of that last phrase, sir.

350
00:29:46,442 --> 00:29:50,679
There's nothing to figure out.
This man is obviously a psychotic.

351
00:29:50,747 --> 00:29:55,851
I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing
like that until all the facts were in.

352
00:29:55,919 --> 00:30:00,589
General Turgidson, when you
instituted the human reliability tests,

353
00:30:00,657 --> 00:30:04,559
You assured me there was no possibility
of such a thing ever occurring.

354
00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:10,666
I don't think it's fair to
condemn a whole program...

355
00:30:10,733 --> 00:30:13,302
Because of a single slipup, sir.

356
00:30:13,369 --> 00:30:15,871
I want to speak to general Ripper
on the telephone personally.

357
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,506
That's impossible.

358
00:30:17,573 --> 00:30:21,476
General Turgidson, I am becoming
less and less interested...

359
00:30:21,544 --> 00:30:25,414
In your estimates of what
is possible and impossible.

360
00:30:25,481 --> 00:30:28,750
general faceman. Yes, sir?

361
00:30:28,819 --> 00:30:31,386
Are there any army units
stationed near burpelson?

362
00:30:31,454 --> 00:30:35,024
I'll just check, sir.

363
00:30:38,394 --> 00:30:41,230
Hello?

364
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:45,901
I told you never to call me
here. Don't you know where I am?

365
00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:48,304
Now, look, baby, I
can't talk to you now.

366
00:30:48,371 --> 00:30:50,339
My president needs me.

367
00:30:50,406 --> 00:30:52,942
Of course, bucky would
rather be there with you.

368
00:30:53,009 --> 00:30:57,012
What do you think about
civil defense? Hmm.

369
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,349
Of course, it isn't only
physical. [men talking, indistinct]

370
00:31:00,416 --> 00:31:03,152
I deeply respect you as a human being.

371
00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:07,056
Someday I'm going to make
you mrs. Buck Turgidson.

372
00:31:07,123 --> 00:31:10,226
Yeah, all right. Listen,
you go back to sleep, hon.

373
00:31:10,293 --> 00:31:13,295
Bucky will be back
there as soon as he can.

374
00:31:13,363 --> 00:31:18,600
All right. Listen, sug! Don't
forget to say your prayers.

375
00:31:24,674 --> 00:31:28,777
Apparently the 23rd airborne division...

376
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:31,580
Is stationed seven
miles away at alvarado.

377
00:31:31,647 --> 00:31:36,018
General faceman, I want them to enter
the base, locate general Ripper...

378
00:31:36,086 --> 00:31:38,420
And put him in immediate
telephone contact with me.

379
00:31:38,488 --> 00:31:41,790
Yes, sir. Mr. President?

380
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:44,659
If I may advise. Under a condition red,

381
00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:48,030
It is standard procedure
that the base be sealed off...

382
00:31:48,098 --> 00:31:50,766
And the base defended
by base security troops.

383
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:55,304
Any force trying to enter would
certainly encounter heavy casualties.

384
00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:59,074
General Turgidson, with all due
respect for your defense team,

385
00:31:59,142 --> 00:32:02,111
My boys can brush them aside
without too much trouble.

386
00:32:02,178 --> 00:32:07,783
Mr. President, there are one or two
points I'd like to make, if I may.

387
00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:10,252
Go ahead, general.

388
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:16,292
One, our hopes for recalling
the 843rd bomb wing...

389
00:32:16,359 --> 00:32:20,829
Are quickly being reduced to a
very low order of probability.

390
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:23,965
Two, in less than 15 minutes from now,

391
00:32:24,033 --> 00:32:27,002
The ruskies will be making
radar contact with the planes.

392
00:32:27,069 --> 00:32:31,173
Three, when they do, they are
going to go absolutely ape.

393
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,776
They are going to strike
back with everything they got.

394
00:32:33,843 --> 00:32:37,078
Four, if prior to this time...

395
00:32:37,146 --> 00:32:40,349
We have done nothing to suppress
their retaliatory capabilities,

396
00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:43,985
We will suffer virtual annihilation.

397
00:32:44,053 --> 00:32:47,022
Now,

398
00:32:47,089 --> 00:32:49,458
Five,

399
00:32:49,526 --> 00:32:53,228
If, on the other hand,

400
00:32:53,296 --> 00:32:57,199
We were to immediately launch an
all-out and coordinated attack...

401
00:32:57,266 --> 00:32:59,535
On all their airfields
and missile bases,

402
00:32:59,602 --> 00:33:02,538
We'd stand a damn good chance of
catching 'em with their pants down.

403
00:33:02,605 --> 00:33:04,740
Hell, we got a five-to-one
missile superiority as it is.

404
00:33:04,808 --> 00:33:07,476
We could easily assign three
missiles to every target...

405
00:33:07,544 --> 00:33:11,112
And still have a very effective
reserve force for any other contingency.

406
00:33:11,180 --> 00:33:16,284
Ah, six! An unofficial study, which
we undertook of this eventuality,

407
00:33:16,353 --> 00:33:21,223
Indicated that we would destroy
90% of their nuclear capabilities.

408
00:33:21,290 --> 00:33:24,059
We would therefore prevail and suffer...

409
00:33:24,126 --> 00:33:27,763
Only modest and acceptable civilian
casualties from their remaining force,

410
00:33:27,831 --> 00:33:31,066
Which would be badly
damaged and uncoordinated.

411
00:33:31,133 --> 00:33:34,503
General, it is the avowed
policy of our country...

412
00:33:34,571 --> 00:33:37,138
Never to strike first
with nuclear weapons.

413
00:33:37,206 --> 00:33:41,943
Mr. President, general Ripper has
already invalidated that policy.

414
00:33:42,011 --> 00:33:46,448
That was not an act of national policy.
There are still alternatives open to us.

415
00:33:46,516 --> 00:33:51,754
Mr. President, we are rapidly
approaching a moment of truth,

416
00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:55,724
Both for ourselves as human beings
and for the life of our nation.

417
00:33:55,792 --> 00:33:58,460
Now, truth is not
always a pleasant thing.

418
00:33:58,528 --> 00:34:03,699
But it is necessary now to make a choice.
To choose between two admittedly regrettable,

419
00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:07,403
But nevertheless distinguishable,
postwar environments.

420
00:34:07,470 --> 00:34:09,538
One where you got 20
million people killed,

421
00:34:09,606 --> 00:34:12,073
And the other were you got
150 million people killed.

422
00:34:12,141 --> 00:34:15,143
You're talking about mass
murder, general, not war.

423
00:34:15,211 --> 00:34:18,947
Mr. President, I'm not saying
we wouldn't get our hair mussed.

424
00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:23,552
But I do say no more than 10
to 20 million killed. Tops!

425
00:34:23,620 --> 00:34:25,621
Depending on the breaks.

426
00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:29,658
I will not go down in history as the
greatest mass murderer since adolph hitler!

427
00:34:29,726 --> 00:34:33,395
It might be better if you were more
concerned with the american people...

428
00:34:33,463 --> 00:34:35,731
Than with your image
in the history books.

429
00:34:35,799 --> 00:34:41,369
General Turgidson, I've heard quite
sufficient from you. Thank you very much.

430
00:34:41,438 --> 00:34:43,572
Mr. President, they have the
ambassador waiting upstairs.

431
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,641
Good. Any difficulty?

432
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:48,176
He's having a fit about that
squad of m.P.S. Can't be helped.

433
00:34:48,244 --> 00:34:50,178
Have him brought here straightaway.

434
00:34:50,246 --> 00:34:52,648
Yes, sir.
Is that—

435
00:34:52,715 --> 00:34:56,585
- Is that the russian ambassador?
- Yes, it is, general.

436
00:34:56,653 --> 00:35:01,590
A-am I to understand
the russian ambassador...

437
00:35:01,658 --> 00:35:04,092
Is to be admitted
entrance to the war room?

438
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,062
Correct. He is here on my orders.

439
00:35:09,165 --> 00:35:12,167
I-I-I don't know exactly
how to put this, sir.

440
00:35:12,234 --> 00:35:16,104
But are you aware of what a
breach of security that would be?

441
00:35:16,172 --> 00:35:19,908
He'll see everything.
He'll see the big board.

442
00:35:19,976 --> 00:35:25,447
That is precisely the idea,
general. That is precisely the idea.

443
00:35:25,515 --> 00:35:30,919
staines, get
premier kissoff on the hot line.

444
00:35:38,027 --> 00:35:42,130
"survival kit contents check.

445
00:35:42,198 --> 00:35:46,935
"in them you will find
one.45 caliber automatic,

446
00:35:47,003 --> 00:35:49,638
"two boxes of ammunition,

447
00:35:49,706 --> 00:35:52,841
"four days concentrated
emergency rations,

448
00:35:52,909 --> 00:35:56,277
"one drug issue containing antibiotics,

449
00:35:56,345 --> 00:36:00,616
"morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills,

450
00:36:00,683 --> 00:36:04,520
"sleepin' pills, tranquilizer pills,

451
00:36:04,587 --> 00:36:09,391
"one miniature combination
russian phrase book and bible,

452
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:12,494
"$100 in rubles,

453
00:36:12,562 --> 00:36:14,730
"$100 in gold,

454
00:36:14,797 --> 00:36:17,533
"nine packs of chewing gum,

455
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,601
"one issue of prophylactics,

456
00:36:19,669 --> 00:36:23,739
Three lipsticks, three
pair of nylon stockings."

457
00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:28,476
Shoot, a fellow could have a pretty good
weekend in vegas with all that stuff.

458
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:36,885
You don't have any fresh
fish? I'm afraid not, sir.

459
00:36:36,953 --> 00:36:39,220
Your eggs? They are
fresh? Oh, yes, sir.

460
00:36:39,288 --> 00:36:43,291
I will have poached eggs. And bring
me some cigars, please. Havana cigars.

461
00:36:43,359 --> 00:36:45,260
That will be all, sir? Yes.

462
00:36:45,327 --> 00:36:47,295
I'll see to it right away.

463
00:36:47,363 --> 00:36:49,898
Try one of these jamaican
cigars, ambassador. They're good.

464
00:36:49,966 --> 00:36:53,602
Thank you, no. I do not support
the work of imperialist stooges.

465
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:56,071
Oh, only commie stooges, huh?

466
00:36:56,138 --> 00:36:59,007
Psst. Mr. President?

467
00:36:59,075 --> 00:37:02,744
You gonna let that lousy commie
punk vomit all over us like this?

468
00:37:02,812 --> 00:37:07,916
Mr. President, they haven't been able
to reach premier kissoff in the kremlin.

469
00:37:07,984 --> 00:37:11,620
They don't know where he is, and
he won't be back for two hours.

470
00:37:11,688 --> 00:37:14,222
Try b-8-6-5-4-3
moscow. Yes, sir.

471
00:37:14,290 --> 00:37:16,224
You would never have found
him through his office.

472
00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:20,462
Our premier is a man of the people,
but he is also a man, if you follow.

473
00:37:20,529 --> 00:37:22,664
fine.
Degenerate atheistic commie.

474
00:37:22,732 --> 00:37:26,568
What? I said premier kissoff is
a degenerate atheistic commie!

475
00:37:26,636 --> 00:37:30,005
Have this
fool—

476
00:37:30,073 --> 00:37:34,476
Mr. President! I think
they're trying the number.

477
00:37:44,487 --> 00:37:47,555
Gentlemen, you can't fight in
here! This is the war room!

478
00:37:47,624 --> 00:37:50,391
What is going on? I
demand an explanation.

479
00:37:50,459 --> 00:37:54,630
This clumsy fool tried to plant
that ridiculous camera on me.

480
00:37:54,697 --> 00:37:57,332
You bet your sweets, Mr. Commie
! Look at this, Mr. President.

481
00:37:57,399 --> 00:38:00,969
This lousy commie rat was taking
pictures with this of the big board!

482
00:38:01,037 --> 00:38:03,939
Mr. Ambassador!

483
00:38:04,007 --> 00:38:08,443
This clumsy fool attempted to
plant that ridiculous camera on me.

484
00:38:08,511 --> 00:38:11,179
That's a damn lie! I
saw him with my own eyes!

485
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:15,517
Gentlemen, this is outrageous. I have never
heard of such behavior in the war room before.

486
00:38:15,584 --> 00:38:18,086
Mr. President, I think they're
getting him on the line.

487
00:38:43,546 --> 00:38:47,949
You sure got to hand
it to those commies.

488
00:38:48,017 --> 00:38:52,821
Yeah. Gee, those trucks sure look
like the real thing, don't they?

489
00:38:52,889 --> 00:38:54,823
I wonder where they got them from.

490
00:38:54,891 --> 00:38:56,925
Probably bought them from
the army as war surplus.

491
00:38:59,729 --> 00:39:04,066
Okay. Open up at 200 yards.

492
00:40:00,589 --> 00:40:05,426
Tell him where you are and that you'll enter
the conversation if I say anything untrue.

493
00:40:05,494 --> 00:40:07,963
But, please, don't tell
him anything more than that.

494
00:40:08,030 --> 00:40:13,268
Alexi? Alexi, please.
I beg you.

495
00:40:13,335 --> 00:40:15,237
But I don't have a phone.

496
00:40:15,304 --> 00:40:19,307
Give him the phone, frank.

497
00:40:44,566 --> 00:40:47,535
I've done as you asked.

498
00:40:47,603 --> 00:40:50,471
Be careful, Mr. President.
I think he is drunk.

499
00:40:52,441 --> 00:40:54,409
Hello?

500
00:40:54,476 --> 00:40:58,146
Uh, hello, Dimitri?

501
00:40:58,214 --> 00:41:03,218
Listen, I can't hear too well. Do you suppose
you could turn the music down a little?

502
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:05,720
That's much better.

503
00:41:05,788 --> 00:41:09,657
Yeah. Yeah.

504
00:41:09,725 --> 00:41:12,627
Fine. I can hear you now, Dimitri.

505
00:41:12,695 --> 00:41:15,630
Clear and plain and coming
through fine.

506
00:41:15,698 --> 00:41:18,266
I'm coming through fine too, eh?

507
00:41:18,334 --> 00:41:21,203
Good, then—
well, then,

508
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,239
As you say, we're both
coming through fine.

509
00:41:24,307 --> 00:41:29,010
Good. Well, it's good that
you're fine, and I'm fine.

510
00:41:29,078 --> 00:41:33,048
I agree with you. It's
great to be fine.

511
00:41:33,115 --> 00:41:37,418
Now, then, Dimitri, you know how...

512
00:41:37,486 --> 00:41:41,189
We've always talked
about the possibility...

513
00:41:41,257 --> 00:41:43,825
Of something going wrong with the bomb.

514
00:41:43,893 --> 00:41:46,728
The bomb, Dimitri.

515
00:41:48,397 --> 00:41:51,032
The hydrogen bomb.

516
00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:54,069
Well, now, what happened is, uh,

517
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:58,439
One of our base commanders,
he had a sort of—

518
00:41:58,507 --> 00:42:01,843
Well, he went a little
funny in the head.

519
00:42:01,911 --> 00:42:04,946
You know, just a little funny.

520
00:42:05,014 --> 00:42:09,851
And, uh, he went and did a silly thing.

521
00:42:09,919 --> 00:42:13,989
Well, I'll tell you what he
did. He ordered his planes...

522
00:42:15,557 --> 00:42:18,526
To attack
your country—

523
00:42:18,594 --> 00:42:20,561
Well, let me finish, Dimitri.

524
00:42:20,629 --> 00:42:23,531
Let me finish, Dimitri.

525
00:42:23,599 --> 00:42:26,434
Well, listen, how do you
think I feel about it?

526
00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,737
Can you imagine how I
feel about it, Dimitri?

527
00:42:29,805 --> 00:42:33,441
Why do you think I'm calling you?

528
00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:36,444
Just to say hello?

529
00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:39,047
Of course I like to speak to you!

530
00:42:39,115 --> 00:42:41,682
Of course I like to say hello!

531
00:42:41,750 --> 00:42:43,885
Not now, but any time, Dimitri.

532
00:42:43,953 --> 00:42:48,290
I'm just calling up to tell you
something terrible has happened.

533
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:51,126
It's a friendly call. Of
course, it's a friendly call.

534
00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:55,430
Listen, if it wasn't friendly, you
probably wouldn't have even got it.

535
00:42:57,699 --> 00:43:02,470
They will not reach their
targets for at least another hour.

536
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:05,606
I am— I am
positive, Dimitri.

537
00:43:05,674 --> 00:43:08,109
Listen, I've been all over
this with your ambassador.

538
00:43:08,177 --> 00:43:10,979
It is not a trick.

539
00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:14,282
Well, I'll tell you. We'd
like to give your air staff...

540
00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:19,487
A complete rundown on the targets, flight
plans and defensive systems of the planes.

541
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:24,426
Yes, if we're unable
to recall the planes.

542
00:43:24,493 --> 00:43:28,529
I'd say
that— well,

543
00:43:28,597 --> 00:43:33,201
We're just gonna have to help
you destroy them, Dimitri.

544
00:43:33,269 --> 00:43:36,004
I know they're our boys.

545
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:40,375
All right, well, listen.
Now, who should we call?

546
00:43:40,443 --> 00:43:46,147
Who should we call?
Sorry, you faded away there.

547
00:43:46,215 --> 00:43:50,051
The peoples central air
defense headquarters.

548
00:43:50,119 --> 00:43:55,690
Where is that, Dimitri
? In omsk. Right.

549
00:43:55,757 --> 00:43:59,995
Yes. Oh, you'll call
them first, will you?

550
00:44:00,062 --> 00:44:05,300
Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen to
have the phone number on you, Dimitri?

551
00:44:05,368 --> 00:44:08,136
I see. Just ask for omsk information.

552
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:15,076
I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry.

553
00:44:15,144 --> 00:44:17,812
All right, you're sorrier than I am.

554
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,348
But I am sorry as well.

555
00:44:21,384 --> 00:44:23,718
I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri.

556
00:44:23,785 --> 00:44:26,054
Don't say that you're
more sorry than I am,

557
00:44:26,122 --> 00:44:29,290
Because I'm capable of being
just as sorry as you are.

558
00:44:29,358 --> 00:44:33,594
So, we're both sorry,
all right? All right.

559
00:44:33,662 --> 00:44:38,199
Yes, he's right here. He wants
to talk to you. Just a second.

560
00:44:50,479 --> 00:44:54,282
What?

561
00:45:10,732 --> 00:45:13,868
What? What is it? What?

562
00:45:13,936 --> 00:45:18,239
The fools. The mad fools.

563
00:45:18,307 --> 00:45:22,777
What's happened? The doomsday machine.

564
00:45:22,844 --> 00:45:25,480
The doomsday machine? What is that?

565
00:45:25,548 --> 00:45:31,018
A device which will destroy all
human and animal life on earth.

566
00:45:31,087 --> 00:45:34,255
all human and animal life?

567
00:45:48,070 --> 00:45:51,706
Mandrake? Yes, jack?

568
00:45:51,773 --> 00:45:55,443
Have you ever seen a commie
drink a glass of water?

569
00:45:55,511 --> 00:46:01,149
Well, I can't say I have,
jack.

570
00:46:01,217 --> 00:46:06,121
Vodka. That's what they
drink, isn't it? Never water.

571
00:46:06,188 --> 00:46:10,425
Well, I believe that's
what they drink, jack. Yes.

572
00:46:10,493 --> 00:46:14,162
On no account will a
commie ever drink water...

573
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:17,465
And not without good reason.

574
00:46:17,533 --> 00:46:20,235
Oh, ah, yes.

575
00:46:20,302 --> 00:46:23,605
I, um, can't quite...

576
00:46:23,672 --> 00:46:26,608
See what you're getting at, jack.

577
00:46:26,675 --> 00:46:31,179
Water. That's what
I'm getting at. Water.

578
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:36,284
Mandrake, water is
the source of all life.

579
00:46:36,352 --> 00:46:39,854
Seven-tenths of this
earth's surface is water.

580
00:46:39,921 --> 00:46:45,293
Why, do you realize that
70% of you is water?

581
00:46:45,361 --> 00:46:47,895
Good lord.

582
00:46:47,963 --> 00:46:53,034
And as human beings, you and
I need fresh, pure water...

583
00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:56,704
To replenish our precious
bodily fluids. Yes.

584
00:46:56,772 --> 00:47:01,709
You beginning to understand? Yes.

585
00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:06,714
Mandrake?

586
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:12,220
Mandrake, have you never wondered
why I drink only distilled water...

587
00:47:12,288 --> 00:47:16,591
Or rainwater and only
pure grain alcohol?

588
00:47:16,659 --> 00:47:21,028
Well, it did occur to me, jack. Yes.

589
00:47:21,096 --> 00:47:26,000
Have you ever heard of a thing
called fluoridation of water?

590
00:47:26,068 --> 00:47:30,137
Uh, yes, I have heard
of that, jack. Yes.

591
00:47:30,206 --> 00:47:34,975
Do you know what it is? No.
No. I don't know what it is.

592
00:47:35,043 --> 00:47:39,180
do you
realize that fluoridation...

593
00:47:39,248 --> 00:47:42,016
Is the most monstrously conceived...

594
00:47:42,084 --> 00:47:44,952
And dangerous communist plot
we have ever had to face?

595
00:47:51,026 --> 00:47:53,328
Two can play at that game, soldier.

596
00:47:58,334 --> 00:48:01,869
That's nice shooting, soldier!

597
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:27,662
Mandrake, come here!

598
00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:32,833
You calling me, jack? Come over
here and help me with this belt.

599
00:48:32,901 --> 00:48:37,838
I, uh— I haven't had
very much experience,

600
00:48:37,906 --> 00:48:41,509
You know, with those
sort of machines, jack.

601
00:48:41,577 --> 00:48:44,712
I've only ever pressed a
button in my old spitfire.

602
00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:46,714
Mandrake, in the name of her
majesty and the continental congress,

603
00:48:46,782 --> 00:48:48,750
Come here and feed me this belt, boy.

604
00:48:48,817 --> 00:48:53,755
Jack, I'd love to come, but
what's happened, you see,

605
00:48:53,822 --> 00:48:57,525
The string in my leg is gone.

606
00:48:57,593 --> 00:49:00,528
The what? The string. I never told you.

607
00:49:00,596 --> 00:49:05,300
But you see, I got a gammy
leg— oh, dear. Gone. Shot off.

608
00:49:05,367 --> 00:49:11,472
Mandrake, come
here. The red coats are comin'.

609
00:49:11,540 --> 00:49:16,744
When it is detonated, it will
produce enough radioactive fallout...

610
00:49:16,812 --> 00:49:19,947
So that in ten months the
surface of the earth...

611
00:49:20,015 --> 00:49:22,517
Will be as dead as the moon! Ah!

612
00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:24,652
Come on, de sadesky!
That's ridiculous!

613
00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:28,923
Our studies show even the worst fallout
is down to a safe level after two weeks.

614
00:49:28,990 --> 00:49:33,928
You've obviously never heard of
cobalt thorium g. What about it?

615
00:49:33,995 --> 00:49:38,065
Cobalt thorium g has a
radioactive half-life of 93 years.

616
00:49:38,133 --> 00:49:41,302
If you take 50 h bombs in
the 100 megaton range...

617
00:49:41,370 --> 00:49:43,871
And jacket them with cobalt thorium g,

618
00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:48,543
When they are exploded they
will produce a doomsday shroud,

619
00:49:48,610 --> 00:49:52,780
A lethal cloud of radioactivity
which will encircle the earth...

620
00:49:52,848 --> 00:49:55,416
For 93 years!

621
00:49:55,484 --> 00:49:58,919
What a load of commie
bull. I mean, after all.

622
00:49:58,987 --> 00:50:02,657
I'm afraid I don't
understand something, alexi.

623
00:50:02,725 --> 00:50:06,394
Is the premier threatening to explode
this if our planes carry out their attack?

624
00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:09,063
No, sir. It is not a
thing a sane man would do.

625
00:50:09,130 --> 00:50:12,066
The doomsday machine is designed
to trigger itself automatically.

626
00:50:12,133 --> 00:50:14,435
But, surely, you can
disarm it somehow. No.

627
00:50:14,503 --> 00:50:18,606
It is designed to explode if any
attempt is made to un-trigger it.

628
00:50:18,674 --> 00:50:21,175
Automatically? It's a commie trick!

629
00:50:21,243 --> 00:50:23,678
We're wasting valuable
time. Look at the big board!

630
00:50:23,746 --> 00:50:26,514
They're getting ready to clobber us!

631
00:50:26,582 --> 00:50:30,317
This is absolute madness. Why
should you build such a thing?

632
00:50:30,386 --> 00:50:32,387
There were those of us
who fought against it.

633
00:50:32,454 --> 00:50:35,423
But in the end we could not keep up with
the expense involved in the arms race,

634
00:50:35,491 --> 00:50:39,026
The space race and the peace race.

635
00:50:39,094 --> 00:50:44,365
At the same time our people grumbled
for more nylons and washing machines.

636
00:50:44,433 --> 00:50:47,034
Our doomsday scheme cost
us just a small fraction...

637
00:50:47,102 --> 00:50:50,405
Of what we have been spending
on defense in a single year.

638
00:50:50,472 --> 00:50:54,842
But the deciding factor was when we learned
your country was working along similar lines.

639
00:50:54,910 --> 00:50:57,945
We were afraid of a doomsday
gap! This is preposterous!

640
00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:00,314
I've never approved
of anything like that.

641
00:51:00,382 --> 00:51:03,117
Our source was the new york times.

642
00:51:03,184 --> 00:51:07,087
Dr. Strangelove, do we have
anything like that in the works?

643
00:51:07,155 --> 00:51:12,293
A moment, please, Mr. President.

644
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,797
Under the authority granted me...

645
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:20,067
As director of weapons
research and development,

646
00:51:20,135 --> 00:51:24,305
I commissioned last year
a study of this project...

647
00:51:24,372 --> 00:51:26,707
By the bland corporation.

648
00:51:26,775 --> 00:51:32,279
Based on the findings of the
report, my conclusion was that...

649
00:51:32,347 --> 00:51:35,349
This idea was not a
practical deterrent...

650
00:51:35,417 --> 00:51:39,320
For reasons which at this
moment must be all too obvious.

651
00:51:39,387 --> 00:51:42,824
Then you mean it is possible for
them to have built such a thing?

652
00:51:46,294 --> 00:51:49,964
Mr. President, the
technology required...

653
00:51:50,031 --> 00:51:53,935
Is easily within the means
of even the smallest...

654
00:51:54,002 --> 00:51:56,370
Nuclear power.

655
00:51:56,438 --> 00:52:01,241
It requires only the will to do so.

656
00:52:01,309 --> 00:52:05,245
But how is it possible for this
thing to be triggered automatically...

657
00:52:05,313 --> 00:52:07,582
And at the same time
impossible to un-trigger?

658
00:52:07,649 --> 00:52:11,919
Mr. President, it is not only possible,

659
00:52:11,987 --> 00:52:14,121
It is essential.

660
00:52:14,189 --> 00:52:18,258
That is the whole idea
of this machine, you know.

661
00:52:18,326 --> 00:52:23,464
Deterrence is the art of producing
in the mind of the enemy...

662
00:52:23,532 --> 00:52:26,166
The fear to attack.

663
00:52:26,234 --> 00:52:31,171
And so because of the automated and
irrevocable decision-making process...

664
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:35,175
Which rules out human meddling,

665
00:52:35,243 --> 00:52:39,279
The doomsday machine is terrifying...

666
00:52:39,347 --> 00:52:41,348
And simple to understand...

667
00:52:41,416 --> 00:52:45,019
And completely credible and convincing.

668
00:52:45,086 --> 00:52:48,489
Gee, I wish we had one
of them doomsday machines.

669
00:52:48,557 --> 00:52:52,192
But this is fantastic, Strangelove.
How can it be triggered automatically?

670
00:52:52,260 --> 00:52:56,063
It's remarkably simple to do that.

671
00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:59,667
When you merely wish to bury bombs,

672
00:52:59,735 --> 00:53:02,136
There's no limit to the size.

673
00:53:02,203 --> 00:53:05,406
After that, they are connected...

674
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:08,475
To a gigantic complex of computers.

675
00:53:08,544 --> 00:53:12,379
Now, then, a specific
and clearly defined...

676
00:53:12,447 --> 00:53:14,448
Set of circumstances...

677
00:53:14,516 --> 00:53:17,785
Under which the bombs
are to be exploded...

678
00:53:17,853 --> 00:53:21,889
Is programmed into a tape memory bank.

679
00:53:21,957 --> 00:53:25,793
Hmm? Strangelove? [Strangelove
continues, indistinct]

680
00:53:25,861 --> 00:53:29,196
What kind of a name is that?
That ain't no kraut name, is it?

681
00:53:29,264 --> 00:53:31,866
He changed it when he became a citizen.

682
00:53:31,934 --> 00:53:34,635
It used to be merkwurdichliebe.

683
00:53:34,703 --> 00:53:39,139
Well, a kraut by any
other name, uh, stainsey?

684
00:53:40,442 --> 00:53:45,379
Is that the whole point
of the doomsday machine...

685
00:53:45,447 --> 00:53:49,183
Is lost, if you keep it a secret!

686
00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:51,218
Why didn't you tell the world, eh?

687
00:53:51,286 --> 00:53:55,690
It was to be announced at
the party congress on Monday.

688
00:53:55,757 --> 00:53:59,126
As you know, the
premier loves surprises.

689
00:54:47,609 --> 00:54:50,544
Stay with me, Mandrake.

690
00:54:54,783 --> 00:54:58,686
All right, Mandrake. Now,
feed me. Feed me, boy.

691
00:55:25,781 --> 00:55:29,449
jack, don't you
think we'd be better off...

692
00:55:29,517 --> 00:55:32,619
In some other part of the room
away from all this flying glass?

693
00:55:32,688 --> 00:55:36,323
We're okay here.

694
00:55:36,391 --> 00:55:40,094
Mandrake, do you realize that in
addition to fluoridating water,

695
00:55:40,162 --> 00:55:44,131
There are studies underway
to fluoridate salt, flour,

696
00:55:44,199 --> 00:55:49,403
Fruit, juices, soup,
sugar, milk, ice cream.

697
00:55:49,470 --> 00:55:53,040
- Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream.
- Good lord.

698
00:55:53,108 --> 00:55:56,777
You know when fluoridation first began?

699
00:55:56,845 --> 00:56:01,148
Uh, no, no. I don't, jack. 1946.

700
00:56:01,216 --> 00:56:04,284
1946, Mandrake. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

701
00:56:04,352 --> 00:56:08,222
How does that coincide with your
postwar commie conspiracy, huh?

702
00:56:08,289 --> 00:56:11,692
It's incredibly obvious, isn't it?

703
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:17,264
A foreign substance is introduced
into our precious bodily fluids...

704
00:56:17,332 --> 00:56:20,667
Without the knowledge of the individual.

705
00:56:20,736 --> 00:56:24,238
Certainly without any
choice.

706
00:56:24,305 --> 00:56:26,974
That's the way a
hard-core commie works.

707
00:56:29,310 --> 00:56:35,149
Ah, jack, jack. Tell me, jack,
when did you first become—

708
00:56:35,217 --> 00:56:37,918
Well, develop this theory?

709
00:56:37,986 --> 00:56:41,155
Well,
I, uh—

710
00:56:41,223 --> 00:56:44,959
I-I first became aware of it, Mandrake,

711
00:56:45,026 --> 00:56:48,695
During the physical act of love. Huh.

712
00:56:48,764 --> 00:56:53,100
Yes, a, uh, profound sense of fatigue,

713
00:56:53,168 --> 00:56:55,669
Feeling of emptiness followed.

714
00:56:55,737 --> 00:57:00,908
Luckily I was able to interpret
these feelings correctly. Uh-huh.

715
00:57:00,976 --> 00:57:04,044
- Loss of essence.
- Huh.

716
00:57:04,112 --> 00:57:07,982
I can assure you it has
not recurred, Mandrake.

717
00:57:08,049 --> 00:57:12,086
Women sense my power,

718
00:57:12,154 --> 00:57:15,555
And they seek the life essence.

719
00:57:15,623 --> 00:57:19,026
I do not avoid women, Mandrake. No.

720
00:57:19,094 --> 00:57:21,796
But I do deny them my essence.

721
00:57:21,863 --> 00:57:24,799
Yes, jack.

722
00:57:37,378 --> 00:57:40,113
cease fire!

723
00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:02,703
My boys must have surrendered.

724
00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:06,841
Well, there it is. Now, jack, listen.

725
00:58:06,908 --> 00:58:11,311
While there's still time, I beg
you, let's recall the wing and—

726
00:58:12,413 --> 00:58:16,717
Those boys were like
my children, Mandrake.

727
00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:20,253
- Now they let me down.
- No, no, jack! Not a bit of it.

728
00:58:20,321 --> 00:58:23,591
I'm sure they all gave
it their very best.

729
00:58:23,658 --> 00:58:26,126
I'm equally sure they
all died thinking of you,

730
00:58:26,194 --> 00:58:28,829
Every man jack of them, jack.

731
00:58:28,897 --> 00:58:30,898
Supposing a bit of
water has gone off, eh?

732
00:58:30,966 --> 00:58:33,701
Certainly one can never be
too sure about those things.

733
00:58:33,768 --> 00:58:36,904
But look at me now. Do I
look all rancid and clotted?

734
00:58:36,972 --> 00:58:40,007
Look at me, jack. Look. Huh? Huh?

735
00:58:40,074 --> 00:58:44,111
And I drink a lot of water. I'm
what you might call a water man.

736
00:58:44,178 --> 00:58:47,481
And I can swear to you,
my boy— swear to you,

737
00:58:47,549 --> 00:58:50,050
That there's nothing wrong
with my bodily fluids.

738
00:58:50,118 --> 00:58:52,185
Not a thing, jackie.

739
00:58:52,253 --> 00:58:54,688
Mandrake, were you
ever a prisoner of war?

740
00:58:54,756 --> 00:58:58,492
Well, jack, the
time's running very—

741
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,662
What? Were you ever a prisoner of war?

742
00:59:01,730 --> 00:59:03,931
Yes, I was, as a matter of fact.

743
00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:07,601
Did they torture you
? Uh, yes, they did.

744
00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:10,270
I was tortured by the japanese,
jack, if you must know.

745
00:59:10,338 --> 00:59:13,040
Not a pretty story.
Well, what happened?

746
00:59:13,107 --> 00:59:15,208
Oh, well, I don't know, jack.

747
00:59:15,276 --> 00:59:17,845
It's difficult to think of
under these conditions, but,

748
00:59:17,913 --> 00:59:20,147
Well, what happened was,

749
00:59:20,214 --> 00:59:23,450
They got me on the old, uh,
rangoon-inchinawa railway.

750
00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:27,988
I was laying train lines for
the bloody japanese puff-puffs.

751
00:59:28,056 --> 00:59:31,324
No, I mean, when they
tortured you, did you talk?

752
00:59:31,392 --> 00:59:34,028
Ah, oh,
no, I—

753
00:59:34,095 --> 00:59:37,031
Well, I don't think they
wanted me to talk, really.

754
00:59:37,098 --> 00:59:39,567
I don't think they
wanted me to say anything.

755
00:59:39,634 --> 00:59:42,570
It was just their way of
having a bit of fun, the swines.

756
00:59:42,637 --> 00:59:46,006
The strange thing is, they
make such bloody good cameras.

757
00:59:46,074 --> 00:59:50,010
You know, those clowns
outside are going to give me...

758
00:59:50,078 --> 00:59:53,380
A pretty good going-over in
a few minutes, for the code.

759
00:59:53,448 --> 00:59:56,083
Yes—

760
00:59:56,151 --> 00:59:59,753
Yes, well, you may have a— you
may have quite a point there, jack.

761
00:59:59,820 --> 01:00:03,823
I don't know how well I
could stand up under torture.

762
01:00:03,891 --> 01:00:07,094
Well, of course, the answer to
that is, boy, no one ever does.

763
01:00:07,162 --> 01:00:11,365
And my advice to you, jack,
is to give me the code now.

764
01:00:11,433 --> 01:00:14,334
And if those devils come
back and try any rough stuff,

765
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:17,704
We'll fight 'em together like we
did just now on the floor, eh?

766
01:00:17,772 --> 01:00:20,974
You with your gun and me with
a belt of ammo, feeding you.

767
01:00:21,042 --> 01:00:24,178
"feed me," you said, and
I was feeding you, jack.

768
01:00:24,245 --> 01:00:26,880
You know, Mandrake,

769
01:00:26,948 --> 01:00:30,250
I happen to believe in
a life after this one...

770
01:00:31,719 --> 01:00:35,189
And I know I'll have to
answer for what I've done.

771
01:00:36,491 --> 01:00:38,459
And I think I can.

772
01:00:38,526 --> 01:00:41,761
Yes, of course you can.
Of course you can. You can.

773
01:00:41,829 --> 01:00:44,264
I'm a religious man myself, you know.

774
01:00:44,332 --> 01:00:48,202
I believe in all that sort of thing
and, uh, I'm hoping, you know, jack—

775
01:00:48,269 --> 01:00:50,604
you've
dropped your gun, jack.

776
01:00:50,671 --> 01:00:54,174
You know what I— no, jack,
let me take that for you.

777
01:00:54,242 --> 01:00:56,243
And you know what I'm hoping, jack?

778
01:00:56,311 --> 01:00:59,012
I'm hoping you're going
to give me the code, boy.

779
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:02,782
Oh, you're going to have a little
wash and brush up? What a good idea.

780
01:01:02,850 --> 01:01:05,452
Always did wonders for a man
that, a wash and brush up.

781
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:08,255
Water on the back of the
neck makes you feel marvelous.

782
01:01:08,323 --> 01:01:11,091
That's what we need: Water on
the back of the neck and the code.

783
01:01:11,159 --> 01:01:14,794
Supposing I play a little
guessing game with you, jack boy?

784
01:01:14,862 --> 01:01:17,831
I'll try and guess what
the code is—

785
01:01:34,349 --> 01:01:38,818
Copilot to navigator. I'm
ready with the fuel figures now.

786
01:01:38,886 --> 01:01:41,855
We have 109,000 total,

787
01:01:41,922 --> 01:01:44,791
79,000 in the mains...

788
01:01:44,859 --> 01:01:47,661
And 30,000 in the auxiliaries.

789
01:01:47,728 --> 01:01:49,663
And that works out to roughly...

790
01:01:49,730 --> 01:01:53,167
Seven hours, 15 minutes
endurance from this time.

791
01:01:53,234 --> 01:01:55,769
D.S.O. To captain.

792
01:01:55,836 --> 01:01:58,972
I have an unidentified radar blip.

793
01:02:00,341 --> 01:02:02,976
60 miles.

794
01:02:04,111 --> 01:02:07,247
Approximate speed: Mach three.

795
01:02:07,315 --> 01:02:11,117
Looks like a missile tracking us.

796
01:02:11,186 --> 01:02:14,254
Definite missile track.

797
01:02:14,322 --> 01:02:16,456
Commence evasive action right.

798
01:02:22,630 --> 01:02:26,333
Missile still closing range.

799
01:02:26,401 --> 01:02:30,437
50 miles.
Continue evasive action.

800
01:02:30,505 --> 01:02:33,173
Lock e.C.M. To target intercept mode.

801
01:02:33,241 --> 01:02:36,910
E.C.M. Locked to target intercept mode.

802
01:02:36,977 --> 01:02:39,379
Missile still tracking
and closing distance.

803
01:02:39,447 --> 01:02:43,517
40 miles.
Continue evasive action.

804
01:02:46,387 --> 01:02:50,657
Electronic guidance
scrambler to blue grid.

805
01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:54,194
Missile still tracking
steady and closing distance.

806
01:02:54,262 --> 01:02:56,263
30 miles.

807
01:02:57,565 --> 01:03:00,701
Missile still closing true and steady.

808
01:03:00,768 --> 01:03:02,769
Continue evasive action.

809
01:03:10,245 --> 01:03:12,246
20 miles.

810
01:03:12,313 --> 01:03:16,216
Missile still closing
distance and tracking steady.

811
01:03:16,284 --> 01:03:18,719
Attack range gate on maximum scan.

812
01:03:18,786 --> 01:03:21,187
Range gate on maximum scan.

813
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:24,157
10 miles.

814
01:03:24,225 --> 01:03:28,194
Missile track deflecting.
Continue evasive action.

815
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:31,531
Deflection increasing.
Eight miles.

816
01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:35,535
Deflection still
increasing. Six miles.

817
01:03:35,603 --> 01:03:38,338
Missile still deflecting.
Four miles.

818
01:03:44,111 --> 01:03:47,314
Two miles.
Missile still deflecting.

819
01:03:47,382 --> 01:03:49,650
One mile. Missile detonated!

820
01:03:56,324 --> 01:03:58,425
- Start lever to cut off!
- Cut off!

821
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:04,765
We're losin' power!

822
01:04:11,706 --> 01:04:14,040
Re-select essential power!

823
01:04:14,108 --> 01:04:16,176
Essential power re-selected.

824
01:04:22,717 --> 01:04:24,685
The hatch is stuck!

825
01:04:28,255 --> 01:04:31,090
Hit emergency power! Okay.

826
01:04:32,193 --> 01:04:35,061
Extinguishers! Roger!

827
01:04:41,769 --> 01:04:45,038
Transfer switches! Transferred!

828
01:04:45,105 --> 01:04:47,407
Boost pumps off! Cut off!

829
01:04:59,119 --> 01:05:01,154
Fuel valves three, four and six!

830
01:05:13,601 --> 01:05:16,302
Give me full power! Roger.

831
01:05:28,115 --> 01:05:30,550
peace on earth.

832
01:05:30,618 --> 01:05:32,786
Peace on earth.

833
01:05:32,854 --> 01:05:35,088
Peace on earth.

834
01:05:35,155 --> 01:05:37,858
P.O.E.

835
01:05:37,925 --> 01:05:40,794
Purity of essence.

836
01:05:40,862 --> 01:05:44,397
O.P.O.E.

837
01:05:44,465 --> 01:05:46,700
- O.P.E.--

838
01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:57,911
Put your hands over your head.

839
01:05:57,979 --> 01:06:00,614
What the devil do you think
you're doing? Who are you?

840
01:06:00,681 --> 01:06:03,583
I said, put your hands over your head.

841
01:06:03,651 --> 01:06:06,219
What kind of suit do
you call that, fella?

842
01:06:06,286 --> 01:06:08,254
What do you mean, suit?

843
01:06:08,322 --> 01:06:12,859
This happens to be an r.A.F. Uniform, sir,
and I am group captain lionel Mandrake.

844
01:06:12,927 --> 01:06:15,194
I am general Ripper's executive officer.

845
01:06:15,262 --> 01:06:19,666
- Where's general Ripper?
- He's dead, in the bathroom.

846
01:06:19,734 --> 01:06:21,902
Where's the bathroom?

847
01:06:21,969 --> 01:06:23,904
Next to you.

848
01:06:30,978 --> 01:06:34,581
I don't know what sort of
stupid game this is you're playing,

849
01:06:34,649 --> 01:06:37,450
But I've got a very good
idea what the recall code is,

850
01:06:37,518 --> 01:06:40,453
And I have to get in touch with
sac headquarters immediately!

851
01:06:40,521 --> 01:06:44,223
I said, put your hands over
your head and keep 'em there!

852
01:06:44,291 --> 01:06:47,961
Got any witnesses? What are you
talking about? He shot himself!

853
01:06:48,029 --> 01:06:50,096
While he was shavin', huh?

854
01:06:50,164 --> 01:06:53,332
Now look, colonel bat Guano,

855
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:55,835
If that really is your name,

856
01:06:55,903 --> 01:06:59,806
May I tell you that I have
a very, very good idea—

857
01:06:59,874 --> 01:07:04,177
I think, I hope, I pray— what the recall
code is, some theme he kept repeating.

858
01:07:04,244 --> 01:07:07,180
It's a variation on "peace on
earth" or "purity of essence"!

859
01:07:07,247 --> 01:07:09,849
E.O.P., o.P.E., it's one of those!

860
01:07:09,917 --> 01:07:12,953
Put your hands up on top
of your head. Start walkin'.

861
01:07:13,020 --> 01:07:15,722
Don't you know that general Ripper
went as mad as a March hare...

862
01:07:15,790 --> 01:07:17,791
And sent the whole wing
to attack the soviets?

863
01:07:17,858 --> 01:07:20,994
Don't you know that? What
are you talkin' about?

864
01:07:21,062 --> 01:07:23,262
I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.

865
01:07:23,330 --> 01:07:27,400
I'm going to pick up this red
telephone, which is connected to sac,

866
01:07:27,468 --> 01:07:30,403
And I
hope—

867
01:07:30,471 --> 01:07:32,672
Blast. Blast.

868
01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:36,776
Shot away, I expect by one of your
men during this ridiculous fighting!

869
01:07:38,012 --> 01:07:40,213
Right.

870
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:43,650
All right, charlie, I've been
wastin' too much time on you.

871
01:07:43,718 --> 01:07:47,854
I got a lot of wounded
men outside. Start walkin'.

872
01:08:09,844 --> 01:08:13,713
All the radio gear is out,
including the c.R.M. 114.

873
01:08:13,781 --> 01:08:16,950
I think the auto-destruct mechanism
got hit and blew itself up.

874
01:08:21,421 --> 01:08:24,658
The fire is out. The
emergency power is on.

875
01:08:24,725 --> 01:08:28,227
Everything seems to check
out all right. Will advise.

876
01:08:28,295 --> 01:08:30,030
Roger. Navigator?

877
01:08:30,097 --> 01:08:34,233
I've worked out our rate of fuel loss
at approximately 1-6-2 per minute.

878
01:08:34,301 --> 01:08:37,103
This gives us a radius of action...

879
01:08:37,171 --> 01:08:41,875
Sufficient to take out primary and
secondary targets, but we will not—

880
01:08:41,942 --> 01:08:46,112
Repeat, not be able to make it
back to any base or neutral country.

881
01:08:46,180 --> 01:08:49,615
However, we would have
enough fuel to ditch...

882
01:08:49,684 --> 01:08:52,385
At weather ship tango delta,

883
01:08:52,452 --> 01:08:55,789
Grid coordinates
0-0-3-6-9-1.

884
01:09:00,527 --> 01:09:02,962
Well, boys, we got three
engines out.

885
01:09:03,030 --> 01:09:06,432
We got more holes in us
than a horse trader's mule.

886
01:09:06,500 --> 01:09:08,935
The radio is gone,
and we're leakin' fuel.

887
01:09:09,003 --> 01:09:12,438
And if we was flyin' any lower, why,
we'd need sleigh bells on this thing.

888
01:09:12,506 --> 01:09:15,474
But we got one little
budge on them ruskies.

889
01:09:15,542 --> 01:09:17,510
At this height they
might harpoon us,

890
01:09:17,578 --> 01:09:20,714
But they dang sure ain't gonna
spot us on no radar screen!

891
01:09:31,859 --> 01:09:34,761
The other way.
Where are you taking me?

892
01:09:34,829 --> 01:09:38,264
To the main gate. Colonel!

893
01:09:38,332 --> 01:09:41,768
Colonel, I must know what you
think has been going on here.

894
01:09:41,836 --> 01:09:44,037
You wanna know what I think? Yes.

895
01:09:44,105 --> 01:09:46,572
I think you're some kind
of deviated "prevert."

896
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:49,375
I think general Ripper found
out about your preversion...

897
01:09:49,443 --> 01:09:52,112
And that you were organizing
some kind of mutiny of preverts.

898
01:09:52,179 --> 01:09:54,313
Now, move!

899
01:09:54,381 --> 01:09:57,617
On top of that, I don't know anything
about any planes attacking russia.

900
01:09:57,684 --> 01:10:01,454
All I was told to do was get Ripper on the
phone with the president of the United States.

901
01:10:01,521 --> 01:10:06,325
Now just one second. You
just said, "the president."

902
01:10:06,393 --> 01:10:08,594
What about the president?

903
01:10:08,662 --> 01:10:11,865
The president wants to speak
to general Ripper, doesn't he?

904
01:10:11,932 --> 01:10:14,500
Now, general Ripper is dead, is he not?

905
01:10:14,568 --> 01:10:16,836
I am general Ripper's executive officer,

906
01:10:16,904 --> 01:10:19,873
So the president will bloody well
want to speak to me, won't he?

907
01:10:19,940 --> 01:10:23,643
There's a telephone box over
there and the line may be open.

908
01:10:23,710 --> 01:10:26,579
You wanna talk to the
president of the United States?

909
01:10:26,647 --> 01:10:29,482
I don't want to talk to him,
colonel, I've got to talk to him.

910
01:10:29,549 --> 01:10:33,186
And I can assure you, if you don't put
that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense,

911
01:10:33,254 --> 01:10:37,290
The court of inquiry on this
will give you such a pranging,

912
01:10:37,357 --> 01:10:41,494
You'll be lucky if you end up wearing
the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant!

913
01:10:44,298 --> 01:10:46,232
Okay.

914
01:10:46,300 --> 01:10:49,969
Go ahead, try and get the president
of the United States on the phone.

915
01:10:51,705 --> 01:10:54,674
If you try any preversions in
there, I'll blow your head off.

916
01:11:09,290 --> 01:11:12,125
Operator? This is group
captain lionel Mandrake.

917
01:11:12,193 --> 01:11:14,227
I'm speaking from
burpelson air force base.

918
01:11:14,295 --> 01:11:18,231
Something urgent has come up and I want you
to place an emergency person-to-person call...

919
01:11:18,299 --> 01:11:21,434
With president Merkin Muffley
in the pentagon, washington, d.C.

920
01:11:22,769 --> 01:11:26,005
Uh, burpelson
3-9-1-8-0.

921
01:11:27,174 --> 01:11:29,809
No, I'm perfectly serious.
The president, yes.

922
01:11:29,877 --> 01:11:32,212
The president of the United States.

923
01:11:32,279 --> 01:11:35,215
Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't
got enough change.

924
01:11:35,282 --> 01:11:38,718
Could you, uh— could you make
this a collect call, operator?

925
01:11:50,664 --> 01:11:54,267
Just one second, operator.
They won't accept the call.

926
01:11:54,335 --> 01:11:56,269
Have you got 55 cents?

927
01:11:56,337 --> 01:11:59,372
You don't think I'd go into combat
with loose change in my pocket, do you?

928
01:12:01,742 --> 01:12:03,709
Operator, look.

929
01:12:03,777 --> 01:12:08,214
Is it possible to make this an
ordinary— ordinary trunk call?

930
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:11,050
Well, what do you call
it? You know, um—

931
01:12:11,118 --> 01:12:14,153
Oh, uh,
station-to-station.

932
01:12:18,225 --> 01:12:21,761
Oh, blast! I'm still 20 cents short.

933
01:12:23,597 --> 01:12:27,033
Operator, hold on. I
shan't keep you a second.

934
01:12:27,101 --> 01:12:31,271
Colonel, that Coca-Cola machine. I
want you to shoot the lock off it.

935
01:12:31,338 --> 01:12:33,439
There may be some change in there.

936
01:12:36,277 --> 01:12:38,444
That's private property.

937
01:12:38,512 --> 01:12:41,414
Colonel, can you possibly imagine
what is going to happen to you,

938
01:12:41,481 --> 01:12:44,183
Your frame outlook, way
of life and everything,

939
01:12:44,251 --> 01:12:48,788
When they learn that you have obstructed a phone
call to the president of the United States?

940
01:12:48,855 --> 01:12:52,858
Can you imagine? Shoot it off!

941
01:12:52,927 --> 01:12:56,562
Shoot with the gun! That's what
the bullets are for, you twit!

942
01:12:56,630 --> 01:12:59,498
Okay, I'm gonna get your money for you.

943
01:12:59,566 --> 01:13:02,835
But if you don't get the president on
that phone, you know what's gonna happen?

944
01:13:02,903 --> 01:13:04,304
What?

945
01:13:04,371 --> 01:13:08,007
You're gonna have to answer
to the Coca-Cola company.

946
01:13:17,084 --> 01:13:20,219
this is
sac communications control.

947
01:13:20,287 --> 01:13:23,689
The recall code o.P.E...

948
01:13:23,757 --> 01:13:25,992
Is being acknowledged "roger"...

949
01:13:26,060 --> 01:13:30,629
By elements of the
8-4-3 bomb wing.

950
01:13:30,697 --> 01:13:32,731
These are the details.

951
01:13:32,799 --> 01:13:37,337
Missions 12, 22, 30 and 38...

952
01:13:37,404 --> 01:13:41,007
Are reported destroyed by enemy action.

953
01:13:41,075 --> 01:13:44,577
All other missions have
acknowledged recall code.

954
01:13:44,644 --> 01:13:47,680
This is sac communications
control. Over and out.

955
01:13:47,747 --> 01:13:51,250
gentlemen, gentlemen!

956
01:13:51,318 --> 01:13:53,819
Ah, gentlemen,

957
01:13:53,887 --> 01:13:55,855
Mr. President,

958
01:13:55,922 --> 01:13:58,491
I'm not a sentimentalist
at all by nature,

959
01:13:58,558 --> 01:14:01,427
But I think I know what's
in every heart in this room.

960
01:14:01,495 --> 01:14:04,697
I think we ought to all
just bow our heads...

961
01:14:04,764 --> 01:14:07,367
And give a short prayer of
thanks for our deliverance.

962
01:14:07,434 --> 01:14:10,069
Lord,

963
01:14:10,137 --> 01:14:14,673
Uh, we have heard the wings
of the angel of death...

964
01:14:14,741 --> 01:14:17,543
Fluttering over our heads
from the valley of fear.

965
01:14:17,611 --> 01:14:20,413
You have seen fit to deliver
us from the forces of evil—

966
01:14:20,481 --> 01:14:22,415
Excuse me, sir.

967
01:14:22,483 --> 01:14:25,318
Premier kissoff's calling
again and he's hopping mad.

968
01:14:32,026 --> 01:14:35,961
Fuel flow on active engines
and leakage has increased.

969
01:14:36,030 --> 01:14:40,099
Now works
out at 2-0-5.

970
01:14:41,135 --> 01:14:43,136
Estimate remaining fuel...

971
01:14:43,203 --> 01:14:47,140
At
8-7-9-0.

972
01:14:50,444 --> 01:14:54,280
Uh, roger. Confirm
2-0-5 per minute...

973
01:14:54,348 --> 01:14:58,484
And remaining
fuel 8-7-9-0.

974
01:15:04,958 --> 01:15:09,028
No, no, Dimitri, there
must be some mistake.

975
01:15:09,096 --> 01:15:11,197
No, I'm certain of that.

976
01:15:11,265 --> 01:15:15,468
I'm perfectly certain of that, Dimitri.

977
01:15:15,536 --> 01:15:18,438
Just a second. You know what he says?

978
01:15:18,505 --> 01:15:20,739
He says that one of the
planes hasn't turned back.

979
01:15:20,807 --> 01:15:23,443
He says according to information
forwarded by our air staffs,

980
01:15:23,510 --> 01:15:26,412
It's headed for the
missile complex at laputa.

981
01:15:29,416 --> 01:15:32,385
that's
impossible, Mr. President.

982
01:15:32,453 --> 01:15:34,520
I mean, look at the big board.

983
01:15:34,588 --> 01:15:37,723
Thirty-four planes, 30 recalls
acknowledged and four splashes,

984
01:15:37,791 --> 01:15:40,693
And one of them was targeted for laputa.

985
01:15:43,597 --> 01:15:46,799
Dimitri, look, we've got an
acknowledgement from every plane...

986
01:15:46,866 --> 01:15:50,103
Except the four you've shot down.

987
01:15:50,170 --> 01:15:53,239
Oh. Oh.

988
01:15:54,975 --> 01:15:57,410
[clears
throat] he's—

989
01:15:57,478 --> 01:15:59,812
Hang on a second, Dimitri.

990
01:15:59,879 --> 01:16:03,249
He says their air defense now only
claims three aircraft confirmed.

991
01:16:03,317 --> 01:16:05,851
The fourth may only be damaged.

992
01:16:07,954 --> 01:16:09,888
Mr. President,

993
01:16:09,956 --> 01:16:12,325
I'm beginnin' to smell
a big, fat commie rat.

994
01:16:12,392 --> 01:16:16,028
I mean, supposin' kissoff is
lyin' about that fourth plane,

995
01:16:16,096 --> 01:16:18,498
Just lookin' for an
excuse to clobber us?

996
01:16:18,565 --> 01:16:21,066
If the spaghetti hits the fan,
now we're really in trouble.

997
01:16:25,139 --> 01:16:27,573
Dimitri, look, if this report is true...

998
01:16:27,641 --> 01:16:31,444
And the plane manages
to bomb the target,

999
01:16:31,512 --> 01:16:35,781
Is this— is this gonna— is this
gonna set off the doomsday machine?

1000
01:16:38,952 --> 01:16:42,087
Are you sure?

1001
01:16:42,156 --> 01:16:46,692
Well, I— I guess you're just gonna
have to get that plane, Dimitri.

1002
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:49,862
Dimitri, I'm sorry they're jamming
your radar and flying so low,

1003
01:16:49,929 --> 01:16:52,331
But they're trained to do it, you know?

1004
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:55,501
It's initiative.

1005
01:16:55,569 --> 01:16:58,437
Look, Dimitri, you know
exactly where they're going,

1006
01:16:58,505 --> 01:17:01,674
And I'm sure your entire air
defense can stop a single plane.

1007
01:17:04,844 --> 01:17:08,247
It's not gonna help either one of
us if the doomsday machine goes off,

1008
01:17:08,315 --> 01:17:10,949
Now, is it?

1009
01:17:11,017 --> 01:17:16,222
Dimitri, there's no point in you getting
hysterical at a moment like this!

1010
01:17:16,290 --> 01:17:20,560
Dimitri, keep your feet on the
ground when you're talking to me.

1011
01:17:20,627 --> 01:17:22,895
I am not— I
am not getting—

1012
01:17:22,962 --> 01:17:25,398
No, Dimitri, I'm just worried.

1013
01:17:25,465 --> 01:17:27,400
That's all.

1014
01:17:27,467 --> 01:17:30,503
Now look, if our air staffs say
its primary target is laputa...

1015
01:17:30,571 --> 01:17:32,572
And its secondary target is borchov,

1016
01:17:32,639 --> 01:17:36,041
I mean, it's true, Dimitri,
you gotta believe it!

1017
01:17:36,109 --> 01:17:39,845
Look, can I give— Dimitri,
can I give you just one word—

1018
01:17:39,913 --> 01:17:43,216
Can I give you just one
word of advice, Dimitri?

1019
01:17:43,283 --> 01:17:45,251
Listen, Dimitri.

1020
01:17:45,319 --> 01:17:48,654
Put everything you've got into those
two sectors, and you can't miss!

1021
01:17:54,978 --> 01:17:58,681
Sir, if we continue to lose
fuel at the present rate,

1022
01:17:58,748 --> 01:18:02,885
I estimate we only have,
uh, 38 minutes flying time,

1023
01:18:02,953 --> 01:18:05,421
Which will not even take
us as far as the primary.

1024
01:18:05,488 --> 01:18:09,425
Doggone it, sweets, you told me that
you could get me to the primary!

1025
01:18:09,492 --> 01:18:11,928
I'm sorry, sir, that
estimate was based on...

1026
01:18:11,995 --> 01:18:15,198
The original loss rate
factor, not at 2-0-5.

1027
01:18:15,265 --> 01:18:17,533
I don't give a hoot
in hell how you do it,

1028
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,768
You just get me to
the primary, you hear?

1029
01:18:19,837 --> 01:18:23,272
I'm sorry, sir, but
those are the figures.

1030
01:18:23,340 --> 01:18:26,608
We'll be lucky to reach
weather ship at tango delta.

1031
01:18:26,676 --> 01:18:28,878
Well, shoot!

1032
01:18:28,946 --> 01:18:32,748
We ain't come this far just to
dump this thing in the drink.

1033
01:18:32,816 --> 01:18:35,384
What's the nearest
target of opportunity?

1034
01:18:44,094 --> 01:18:46,863
Sir, if the rate of
loss does not increase,

1035
01:18:46,930 --> 01:18:50,699
We have a chance to
reach target 3-8-4,

1036
01:18:50,767 --> 01:18:55,604
Grid coordinate
0-0-3-6-9-1...

1037
01:18:55,672 --> 01:18:59,541
And possibly make it from there
to the tango delta weather ship.

1038
01:18:59,609 --> 01:19:01,744
What kind of a target is that, anyhow?

1039
01:19:01,811 --> 01:19:05,748
Sir, that's the I.C.B.M.
Complex at kotloss.

1040
01:19:05,815 --> 01:19:09,518
All right, designating new target:

1041
01:19:09,586 --> 01:19:11,553
3-8-4.

1042
01:19:11,621 --> 01:19:14,656
Give me a rough headin' on that just
as soon as you can get it worked out.

1043
01:19:26,186 --> 01:19:30,106
We'll keep our fingers crossed, Dimitri,
and remember, there's just one thing:

1044
01:19:30,173 --> 01:19:33,109
We are all in this together.
We're right behind you, Dimitri.

1045
01:19:33,176 --> 01:19:35,544
We're with you all the way.

1046
01:19:35,612 --> 01:19:39,315
Yes, well, we'll keep the line open.

1047
01:19:39,383 --> 01:19:41,717
All right, Dimitri.

1048
01:19:42,719 --> 01:19:44,686
General Turgidson,

1049
01:19:44,754 --> 01:19:48,024
Is there really a chance for
that plane to get through?

1050
01:19:49,659 --> 01:19:52,128
Mr. President, if I may speak freely,

1051
01:19:52,195 --> 01:19:55,131
The ruskie talks big, but frankly
we think he's short of know-how.

1052
01:19:55,198 --> 01:19:57,900
I mean, you just can't expect
a bunch of ignorant peons...

1053
01:19:57,968 --> 01:20:00,403
To understand a machine
like some of our boys.

1054
01:20:00,470 --> 01:20:02,939
And that's not meant as
an insult, Mr. Ambassador.

1055
01:20:03,006 --> 01:20:05,507
You take your average ruskie, we
all know how much guts he's got.

1056
01:20:05,575 --> 01:20:08,777
Hell, look at all of 'em them nazis
killed off, and they still wouldn't quit!

1057
01:20:08,845 --> 01:20:10,712
Can't you stick to the point, general?

1058
01:20:10,780 --> 01:20:14,550
Well, uh, sir, uh, if
the pilot's good, see—

1059
01:20:14,617 --> 01:20:18,254
I mean, if he's really sharp, he
can barrel that baby in so low.

1060
01:20:18,322 --> 01:20:20,756
You oughta see it
sometime! It's a sight!

1061
01:20:20,824 --> 01:20:23,326
A big plane, like a 52, vroom!

1062
01:20:23,393 --> 01:20:26,462
Its jet exhaust fryin'
chickens in the barnyard!

1063
01:20:26,529 --> 01:20:29,698
- Yeah, but has he got a chance?
- Has he got a chance?

1064
01:20:29,766 --> 01:20:32,868
Hell, yeah—
ye— ye—

1065
01:20:34,004 --> 01:20:35,972
Yeah.

1066
01:20:56,676 --> 01:20:58,643
Navigator to captain.

1067
01:20:58,711 --> 01:21:02,714
Approaching target
at distance 1-0 miles.

1068
01:21:02,782 --> 01:21:06,118
Switch from green grid to target orange.

1069
01:21:06,186 --> 01:21:07,987
Ready for final bomb run check.

1070
01:21:08,054 --> 01:21:10,789
Take over, ace. Roger.

1071
01:21:16,062 --> 01:21:18,563
- D.S.O. Ready.
- Bombardier ready, sir.

1072
01:21:18,631 --> 01:21:20,832
Bomb fusing, master safety on.

1073
01:21:20,900 --> 01:21:24,003
Electronic barometric time and impact.

1074
01:21:24,070 --> 01:21:26,705
Uh, bomb fusing, master safeties on.

1075
01:21:26,772 --> 01:21:29,508
Electronic barometric time and impact.

1076
01:21:29,575 --> 01:21:33,178
fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.

1077
01:21:33,246 --> 01:21:35,914
Fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.

1078
01:21:35,982 --> 01:21:38,750
Bomb fusing circuits
one through four, test.

1079
01:21:38,818 --> 01:21:42,421
Bomb fusing circuits one
through four, test. Lights on.

1080
01:21:42,489 --> 01:21:45,424
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.

1081
01:21:45,492 --> 01:21:48,327
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.

1082
01:21:48,395 --> 01:21:51,130
engage primary
trigger switch override.

1083
01:21:51,197 --> 01:21:54,299
Primary trigger switch override engaged.

1084
01:21:54,367 --> 01:21:56,935
Track indicators to maximum deflection.

1085
01:21:57,003 --> 01:21:59,471
Track indicators to maximum deflection.

1086
01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:02,741
Detonator set to zero altitude.

1087
01:22:02,808 --> 01:22:05,577
Detonator set to zero altitude.

1088
01:22:05,645 --> 01:22:07,346
Release first safety.

1089
01:22:11,584 --> 01:22:13,585
First safety released.

1090
01:22:14,921 --> 01:22:18,357
- First safety.
- Release second safety.

1091
01:22:21,127 --> 01:22:22,994
Second safety released.

1092
01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:25,964
Second safety.

1093
01:22:33,473 --> 01:22:36,175
Check bomb door circuits,
one through four.

1094
01:22:46,719 --> 01:22:50,189
Uh, bomb door circuits,

1095
01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:52,857
Negative function, lights red.

1096
01:22:52,925 --> 01:22:55,527
Switch in backup circuits. Roger.

1097
01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:59,598
Backup circuits switched
in. Still negative function.

1098
01:22:59,665 --> 01:23:03,469
- Engage emergency power.
- Roger.

1099
01:23:03,536 --> 01:23:06,271
Uh, emergency power on.
Still negative function.

1100
01:23:08,308 --> 01:23:10,375
Operate manual override!

1101
01:23:11,877 --> 01:23:13,512
Roger.

1102
01:23:23,022 --> 01:23:25,524
Uh, still negative function.

1103
01:23:25,592 --> 01:23:28,293
The teleflex drive cable
must be sheared away.

1104
01:23:28,361 --> 01:23:32,598
- Fire the explosive bolts!
- Roger.

1105
01:23:45,077 --> 01:23:47,012
Uh—

1106
01:23:47,079 --> 01:23:50,815
Still negative, sir. The
operating circuits are dead, sir.

1107
01:23:56,156 --> 01:24:00,091
Stay on the bomb run, ace. I'm goin'
down below and see what I can do.

1108
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,161
Roger.

1109
01:24:12,238 --> 01:24:14,506
Stay on the bomb run, boys.

1110
01:24:14,574 --> 01:24:18,810
I'm gonna get them doors open if it
harelips everybody on bear creek!

1111
01:25:12,365 --> 01:25:15,234
Target orange grid reference checks.

1112
01:25:15,301 --> 01:25:17,603
Target distance: Eight miles.

1113
01:25:17,670 --> 01:25:19,804
Roger. Eight miles.

1114
01:25:19,872 --> 01:25:22,207
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.

1115
01:25:22,275 --> 01:25:24,710
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.

1116
01:25:33,319 --> 01:25:35,887
Target distance: Seven miles.

1117
01:25:35,955 --> 01:25:39,358
Correct track indicator: Minus seven.

1118
01:25:39,425 --> 01:25:42,994
roger. Seven miles.
Check g.P.I. Acceleration factor.

1119
01:25:43,062 --> 01:25:45,096
G.P.I. Acceleration factor set.

1120
01:25:48,468 --> 01:25:50,969
Target distance: Six miles.

1121
01:25:51,036 --> 01:25:54,640
Roger. Six miles. Pulse
"ident" transponder active.

1122
01:25:54,707 --> 01:25:57,342
Pulse ident transponder active.

1123
01:26:04,384 --> 01:26:07,452
Target distance: Five miles.

1124
01:26:07,520 --> 01:26:11,490
five miles. Homing
alignment factor to zero mode.

1125
01:26:11,557 --> 01:26:13,592
Homing alignment factor to zero mode.

1126
01:26:17,163 --> 01:26:19,698
Target distance: Four miles.

1127
01:26:19,766 --> 01:26:21,700
Roger. Four miles.

1128
01:26:21,768 --> 01:26:24,436
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.

1129
01:26:24,504 --> 01:26:27,138
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.

1130
01:26:37,317 --> 01:26:39,851
Target distance: Three miles.

1131
01:26:39,919 --> 01:26:42,487
Roger. Three miles.

1132
01:26:42,555 --> 01:26:46,224
Target in sight! Where
in hell is major Kong?

1133
01:26:57,687 --> 01:27:00,339
Ya-hoo!

1134
01:27:02,842 --> 01:27:05,410
Ya-hoo!

1135
01:27:05,478 --> 01:27:07,879
Ya-hoo!

1136
01:27:09,915 --> 01:27:14,686
- Hey, what about
major Kong? - Ya-hoo!

1137
01:27:14,754 --> 01:27:19,591
Ye-haw!

1138
01:27:19,659 --> 01:27:23,495
Whoo-hoo!

1139
01:27:39,379 --> 01:27:43,114
Mr. President, I would
not rule out the chance...

1140
01:27:43,182 --> 01:27:46,251
To preserve a nucleus
of human specimens.

1141
01:27:46,318 --> 01:27:49,187
It would be quite easy.

1142
01:27:51,624 --> 01:27:53,825
At the bottom of, uh,

1143
01:27:53,893 --> 01:27:56,728
Some of our deeper mine shafts.

1144
01:27:56,796 --> 01:28:01,633
The radioactivity would never penetrate
a mine some thousands of feet deep.

1145
01:28:01,701 --> 01:28:05,937
And in a matter of weeks, sufficient
improvements in dwelling space...

1146
01:28:06,005 --> 01:28:07,972
Could easily be provided.

1147
01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:10,776
How long would you have
to stay down there?

1148
01:28:10,843 --> 01:28:14,746
Well, that's, you
know, uh—

1149
01:28:14,814 --> 01:28:17,449
Cobalt thorium g.

1150
01:28:17,517 --> 01:28:19,518
Uh—

1151
01:28:23,923 --> 01:28:25,924
Uh—

1152
01:28:27,727 --> 01:28:31,530
Radioactive
half-life of, uh—

1153
01:28:31,597 --> 01:28:33,565
Hmm.

1154
01:28:33,633 --> 01:28:37,101
I would think that, uh, possibly, uh,

1155
01:28:37,169 --> 01:28:39,604
One hundred years.

1156
01:28:39,672 --> 01:28:41,606
You mean,

1157
01:28:41,674 --> 01:28:44,676
People could actually stay
down there for 100 years?

1158
01:28:44,744 --> 01:28:46,978
It would not be difficult, mein fuhrer.

1159
01:28:47,046 --> 01:28:49,314
Nuclear reactors
could—

1160
01:28:49,381 --> 01:28:51,716
I'm sorry, Mr. President.

1161
01:28:51,784 --> 01:28:55,620
Nuclear reactors could provide
power almost indefinitely.

1162
01:28:55,688 --> 01:28:58,523
Greenhouses could maintain plant life.

1163
01:28:58,591 --> 01:29:02,160
Animals could be bred and slaughtered.

1164
01:29:02,227 --> 01:29:04,162
A quick survey would have to be made...

1165
01:29:04,229 --> 01:29:06,698
Of all the available
mine sites in the country.

1166
01:29:06,766 --> 01:29:10,569
But I would guess that
a dwelling space...

1167
01:29:10,636 --> 01:29:14,272
For several hundred thousand of
our people could easily be provided.

1168
01:29:14,340 --> 01:29:17,476
Well, I— I would hate
to have to decide...

1169
01:29:17,543 --> 01:29:20,479
Who stays up and who goes down.

1170
01:29:20,546 --> 01:29:24,449
Well, that would not be
necessary, Mr. President.

1171
01:29:24,517 --> 01:29:27,352
It could easily be
accomplished with a computer.

1172
01:29:27,419 --> 01:29:29,754
And the computer could
be set and programmed...

1173
01:29:29,822 --> 01:29:32,891
To accept factors from youth, health,

1174
01:29:32,959 --> 01:29:36,127
Sexual fertility, intelligence...

1175
01:29:36,195 --> 01:29:38,697
And a cross-section
of necessary skills.

1176
01:29:38,764 --> 01:29:41,032
Of course, it would
be absolutely vital...

1177
01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:45,036
That our top government and
military men be included,

1178
01:29:45,104 --> 01:29:47,639
To foster and impart the
required principles...

1179
01:29:47,707 --> 01:29:49,941
Of leadership and tradition.

1180
01:29:50,009 --> 01:29:52,010
Aaah!

1181
01:29:56,015 --> 01:29:58,950
Naturally, they would
breed prodigiously, eh?

1182
01:29:59,018 --> 01:30:01,786
There would be much
time and little to do.

1183
01:30:03,890 --> 01:30:08,359
But with the proper breeding
techniques and a ratio of, say,

1184
01:30:08,427 --> 01:30:11,195
Ten females to each male,

1185
01:30:11,263 --> 01:30:13,665
I would guess that they could
then work their way back...

1186
01:30:13,733 --> 01:30:17,736
To the present gross national
product within, say, 20 years.

1187
01:30:17,803 --> 01:30:19,738
But look here, doctor.

1188
01:30:19,805 --> 01:30:23,542
Wouldn't this nucleus
of survivors be so...

1189
01:30:23,609 --> 01:30:26,845
Grief-stricken and
anguished that they—

1190
01:30:26,913 --> 01:30:30,381
Well, envy the dead and
not want to go on living?

1191
01:30:30,449 --> 01:30:33,351
No, sir. Excuse me.

1192
01:30:42,628 --> 01:30:46,531
When they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive.

1193
01:30:46,599 --> 01:30:48,667
There would be no shocking memories...

1194
01:30:48,734 --> 01:30:53,438
And the prevailing emotion will be
one of nostalgia for those left behind,

1195
01:30:53,505 --> 01:30:56,374
Combined with a spirt of...

1196
01:30:56,442 --> 01:30:58,843
Bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!

1197
01:30:58,911 --> 01:31:00,912
Aaah!

1198
01:31:06,919 --> 01:31:08,987
Aaah!

1199
01:31:16,395 --> 01:31:18,362
Doctor,

1200
01:31:20,532 --> 01:31:23,902
You mentioned the, uh, ratio of, uh,

1201
01:31:23,970 --> 01:31:26,137
Ten women to each man.

1202
01:31:26,205 --> 01:31:29,140
Now, wouldn't that
necessitate the abandonment...

1203
01:31:29,208 --> 01:31:32,877
Of the so-called monogamous
sexual relationship?

1204
01:31:32,945 --> 01:31:36,748
I mean, as far as men were concerned?

1205
01:31:36,816 --> 01:31:38,750
Regrettably, yes.

1206
01:31:38,818 --> 01:31:43,622
But it is, you know, a sacrifice
required for the future of the human race.

1207
01:31:43,689 --> 01:31:48,727
I hasten to add that since each man
will be required to do prodigious...

1208
01:31:50,429 --> 01:31:52,396
Service along these lines,

1209
01:31:52,464 --> 01:31:56,234
The women will have to be selected
for their sexual characteristics,

1210
01:31:56,301 --> 01:32:00,105
Which will have to be of a
highly stimulating nature.

1211
01:32:00,172 --> 01:32:04,009
I must confess, you have an
astonishingly good idea there, doctor.

1212
01:32:04,076 --> 01:32:06,645
Thank you, sir.

1213
01:32:06,712 --> 01:32:09,648
I think we ought to look at this
from the military point of view.

1214
01:32:09,715 --> 01:32:13,618
I mean, uh, supposing the ruskies...

1215
01:32:13,686 --> 01:32:16,621
Stashed away some big
bombs, see, and we didn't?

1216
01:32:16,689 --> 01:32:19,624
When they come out in 100
years, they could take over!

1217
01:32:19,692 --> 01:32:21,693
I agree, Mr. President.

1218
01:32:21,761 --> 01:32:25,163
They might even try an immediate sneak attack
so they could take over our mine shaft space.

1219
01:32:25,230 --> 01:32:27,766
it'd be extremely
naive of us, Mr. President,

1220
01:32:27,833 --> 01:32:29,834
To imagine that these
new developments...

1221
01:32:29,902 --> 01:32:32,804
Are gonna cause any change in
soviet expansionist policy!

1222
01:32:32,872 --> 01:32:35,740
I mean, we must be
increasingly on the alert...

1223
01:32:35,808 --> 01:32:38,309
To prevent them from taking
over other mine shaft space...

1224
01:32:38,377 --> 01:32:40,511
In order to breed more
prodigiously than we do,

1225
01:32:40,579 --> 01:32:43,548
Thus knocking us out through
superior numbers when we emerge!

1226
01:32:43,615 --> 01:32:47,719
Mr. President, we must not
allow a mine-shaft gap!

1227
01:32:47,787 --> 01:32:49,888
Sir!

1228
01:32:49,955 --> 01:32:52,256
I have a plan—

1229
01:32:53,726 --> 01:32:56,061
Mein fuhrer,

1230
01:32:56,128 --> 01:32:58,797
I can walk!