Kiss!
Nothing... Hi.
Do you want to come upstairs?
3rd floor apartment 2.
- Hi. - Hi.
Come in.
- I'm Ocho. - I'm Javi.
Do you want to drink something? Beer? Or water?
- Water is fine, thanks. - It's not very cold.
Room temperature is fine.
Do you live here?
No, it's an Airbnb. I'm just visiting. I live in New York.
And you? Do you live here?
Not anymore. In Berlin. I'm here for work.
And to see my family.
Are you sure you don't want to join me with a beer?
Okay, sure.
You were at the beach earlier, right?
Yes.
And why didn't you say something?
I tried to.
But then you disappeared with your bicycle.
I was sitting on the shore waiting for you.
But you went back to your towel.
I don't know, I'm sorry.
It's so complicated... it's like a chess game, right?
- I looked for you on Grindr. - I don't have Grindr.
Oh well, better late than never.
- So, what do you do? - I direct a kids' TV show.
Die sendung wir der maus...? Wiesendung wir der maus...?
I don't know how it's pronounced, but I had a roommate
who was a fan of this German kids' show.
Oh, right. Die sendung mit der maus.
No, mine has a name in Spanish. It's to learn Spanish.
Oh, nice.
Are you on vacation?
Yeah, I was working in Madrid and I got away for a few days.
- What do you do for work? - I write poetry.
A poet in New York, wow.
But I earn my living working in a company.
I do marketing for an airline.
I spend most of my time editing my poetry magazine, anyway.
That's good.
And where are you staying?
Right next door, at my parents' house.
- Oh, that's why. - That's why what?
This morning I saw you walking down the street from my balcony.
What's going on? Do you live in your balcony?
What's the matter? You don't like it?
- Yes, but slow down. - Okay.
- Do you want to go to my room? - Sure.
This way.
- Do you have condoms? - Huh? No.
- Seriously? - I'm on Prep.
Yeah, but I'd rather have sex with a condom.
- Do you want me to go buy some? - Yes.
- All done. - Did you go shopping?
There was an old lady so I bought other things to disguise it.
Oh, no no... I don't like this brand.
- Are you kidding? - I'm kidding.
- What's the name of the show? - What?
- The kids' TV show you direct. - Were you thinking about that?
It's that after I come, my head just...
- Old Dog. - "Old Dog"?
That's not a very tempting title for kids.
What is it about?
It's about this dog, who's very old...
And he lives in this kennel,
and nobody wants to adopt him, because he's very old.
But he befriends all of the other dogs.
And they're young and get adopted right away.
And they tell him their life stories. Every episode is a story.
And does the old dog have a name?
Old dog.
- That's a very German concept. - Maybe.
I'll bring you a towel.
- You can shower here if you want. - No, it's okay. I live right next door.
- Do you have WhatsApp? - Yes.
Thanks.
So... I'll call you so you'll have my number.
Of course.
- Well, thanks for coming. - Thank you for inviting me.
- Bye. - Later.
OCHO. NICE TO MEET YOU.
I HAD A GREAT TIME.
I'M GOING FOR A WALK... AND TO EAT SOMETHING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS?
- SORRY. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU CAN'T... - SORRY, I WAS IN THE SHOWER.
- What about this wine? - Let's see. It's OK.
Oh cheese.
- Yes, right? - Yes.
Hi. Can we get some goat cheese, please?
- Is this piece okay? - Yes, that one is perfect.
- Goat cheese. - Yes.
- Anything else? - No, that's it.
- Okay, 6.10 euros. - Okay. Do you have 6.10 euros?
Yeah. I'm sure. Here's 10.
Thank you.
- Salud. - Salud.
- Very well. And that shirt? - What about it?
- Are you a big fan? - No, not really. It's an old shirt.
- Old shirt, old dog... - Exactly.
It looks good on you.
- When did you move to Berlin? - Five years ago.
- Oh. - And the next year I met my husband.
- Is he German? - Yeah.
- And when did you get married? - It'll be two years next month.
- Are you married? - No.
- Do you have a boyfriend? - No.
Have you ever had a long-term relationship?
- Yes. For 20 years. - Fuck.
- A very long time. Half my life. - And when did you break up?
Three weeks ago.
I think we'll probably end up together.
We just need to see
how it is to be an adult without having each other.
- Why? - Why? I don't know...
I was tired of being jealous of people who had complete freedom.
No one to respond to... I missed being alone.
And now? Do you still miss being alone?
I miss him sometimes...
But I also really enjoy being by myself.
Well, then I'm leaving.
No... I mean being by myself in another scale.
Like being alone in the world. I think it's very gratifying...
Not depending on anyone, not taking care of anyone,
doing whatever you want all the time.
Don't you miss being alone?
No. But hey, four years is not the same as twenty.
No, of course.
And also, we're always kind of alone, right?
- Even when we are in a relationship. - Yeah, you're right.
But there are also different degrees of being alone.
I guess. And sex? Did it get repetitive after 20 years?
No. Well, it changed.
Time went by, we both grew up.
We always tried to be very honest about it.
Like talking about things that don't turn us on anymore.
Or things we'd like to try.
It's not easy, though.
I don't know. It takes a lot of work and dedication.
- And love. - And love.
Twenty years... fuck. I'm sorry, but I'm still shocked.
- So, are you and your husband open? - Yes, yes, of course.
I mean, with boundaries, but we are.
We rarely have sex with each other, anyway.
- Why? - I don't know.
But there are a lot of couples who don't have sex, right?
Yeah, it's true. But did anything happen?
No, no. Repetition...
And also my husband isn't the best communicator.
- And we had a daughter. - Really? Married with children.
Yes.
It's not the first image that pops up in my mind
when I think about gay couples in Berlin.
Well, but we do exist.
Do you want any?
Do you want to have children?
Me? No.
Right. Well, I didn't want to, either.
My husband had always wanted kids, and one day I realized
that he wanted kids much more intensely than I did,
and I understood how important it was for him.
I recently heard someone say
that if the good people of the world don't have kids,
then the world would soon be populated
by very close-minded, prejudiced, racist people,
so having kids would be the best way to fight that.
That's true. And also my daughter is amazing.
I don't think I could talk about parenting in general, as a concept,
but I could talk about being her father.
And also,
it's a relief having someone else to take care of other than myself.
I bet.
Once, I was sleeping next to her,
and I could hear a mosquito in the room,
but I was too tired to get up.
But then I realized that I wasn't alone,
and it could bite her.
So I got up,
I looked for the mosquito and I killed it.
That was the first time
that I realized that my priorities had changed forever.
And then you also have a lot of fears that come with that.
But well, let's not talk about that now.
You know... I have a weird sensation.
- I feel that we've met before. - We have met before.
- Hello? - Hello, Sonia. It's Ocho.
- Hi, Ocho. Did it open? - Yes.
- Is the elevator working? - No, I don't think so.
Welcome.
Hi, Sonia. Sorry, did I wake you up?
No, no. Don't worry about it. Come in. Leave your bag.
There are clean towels and sheets in the closet.
And if you need more space you can move stuff around.
- Thank you. - I'm making tea if you want some.
Oh, yes, sure.
Have you been in touch with Eli?
Have you seen him lately?
No. But we talked recently.
He moved to California, you know?
Really?
He always hated the US.
That's so weird, what is he doing there?
He's teaching yoga. In a... iyengar center.
He became a fan back in India, I'm sure you know.
I took him to his first class.
I heard he teaches in a center owned by someone he met in India.
- Summer? - I don't know...
Yeah, it must be Summer, she has a center in Sacramento.
Did you know I introduced them to each other?
But when was the last time you spoke to Eli?
The last time was when we broke up, in India.
It was the last night in Goa.
We had been fighting a lot and we decided to split up.
I told him:
"There's a train leaving at 4 AM and another one leaving at 12 PM.
You take it at 4AM and I'll take it at noon."
When I woke up, he had already left.
Our stuff was so entangled
that I ended up not knowing what was mine and what was his.
I woke up that morning, in that hotel room
and I found my clothes, my books, my toothbrush and...
I felt alone for the first time in my life.
The hotel was so beautiful,
it was decayed, but beautiful.
It was on a very dangerous street.
I think they promised to pave it and fix it,
but of course that never happened.
And we were alone, there were only two other people.
A father and a son with a very weird relationship.
They spent all day together but didn't speak a word to each other.
They were very similar. Maybe they were lovers, I don't know.
There was a pool,
very close to our room in an inner patio we had.
I remember thinking,
"If I jump in this pool, and survive, then everything will be okay."
And I jumped, and survived,
and everything has been more or less okay.
I guess you took a shower right away.
You're guessing wrong.
The hotel had no water from 10 to 12.
So I got out and I had to run to make it to my train.
The next week I got a terrible urinary tract infection.
But I don't know if it was from the pool
or from my newly-discovered single life.
I always thought Eli was in love with you.
No. No... I don't think so.
- What was your girlfriend's name? - Esther.
Esther... I forgot. And how is she?
Good, very good. I'll meet her in Paris next week.
And you? Are you dating anyone right now?
Yes, I am. He is not like Eli at all.
Well, he is kind of similar... but different.
You'll meet him, he's here all the time.
DEAR E, I'M SITTING IN FRONT OF A FOUNTAIN.
FOR YOUR DUMB PICTURE COLLECTION.
THINKING ABOUT YOU.
- Are you okay? - Yes. Give me a minute, please.
- Hi. - Are you feeling better?
Kind of.
You're Ocho, right? I'm Javi, Sonia's boyfriend.
- Oh, hi. I'm gonna lay down for a bit. - Tell me if you need anything.
Thank you.
Hi.
The pharmacist said you should take two of these.
And I brought you this so you eat something.
Or try to drink something.
Thank you.
I would take this out.
That cut looks really good.
HIV/AIDS AND ORAL SEX
Are you feeling better?
Yes. A little bit.
I'm still a little weak though.
Am I bothering you?
No, no. Quite the opposite. Sorry for interrupting.
Do you want me to cook you anything?
No, thank you. I think I'll go back to bed.
Go on, I'm sorry.
- Good morning. - Hi.
- Are you feeling better? - A little bit, yeah.
Do you want some bread? Are you hungry?
Yes, great. Thank you.
Thank you for the medicine and all that.
Don't worry.
- How much do I owe you? - What are you saying? No.
- What do you mean by 'no'? - No. Nothing.
- Well, thank you. - Do you want coffee?
No, I'd love to, but I don't think it'll be good for me.
- What are you looking for? - A plate.
Here.
And Sonia?
She went to Vigo to see her grandmother.
She's going to be there for a few days. She told me to say goodbye.
I don't think you'll see her, you're leaving tomorrow, right?
Yes.
And what plans do you have for today?
I don't know, I guess I'll go for a walk.
Do you know where to go?
No, I don't know, really. Is there something I shouldn't miss?
I have the day off. I can go with you if you want to.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Okay.
- Do you like children? - Yes. Do you?
I don't know. I never thought about it.
Like I was a child very recently, it feels like a second ago.
- But do you want to have kids? - No. Do you?
Yes, yes. I was an only child, and so were my parents.
So I never had cousins.
I don't know,
I would like to have a messy house, full of kids and noise.
Yeah, I would like that.
Maybe that's why. My house was like that.
It was very chaotic,
we were five siblings, my parents, my two grandmothers,
and an aunt, still single, who was like another child.
I'm gonna get a drink of water.
And Sonia? Does she want kids?
I don't know. We've never talked about it.
- So... Ocho with ocho kids. - Maybe not eight.
Why Ocho? I asked Sonia but she didn't know.
It was my first word as a baby.
My mom was carrying me in the elevator, and we lived on an eighth floor,
so she asked a neighbor to press the "Ocho" button.
And I repeated the word, and my parents were super proud,
so they made me say "Ocho" to relatives, and friends, and it stuck.
- And what's your real name? - Gustavo.
- You're not a Gustavo. - Why not? And what do I look like?
- Ezequiel. - Ask me what my name is.
- What's your name? - Ezequiel.
You're not an Ezequiel either. You don't look like it at all.
You don't do it right.
I'm impressed by the amount of stories needed
to be able to paint something like this.
Because at that time there was no other way to record.
Someone must have told the painter what the battle was like.
Yeah, I never thought about it.
And who are these?
- I didn't introduce you. - No.
Aunt Roser. She cooks great spaghetti.
Aunt Mari Angels, teacher. She's lovely.
Yes, she looks very nice.
- Yeah, right? - Yes.
And that's Grandma Paca, from Aragón, a strong personality.
I've always wanted to meet her.
And is that your father?
Yes, well actually Grampa, Grampa Perot, he's an architect.
- I'm gonna say hi. - Of course.
I'll show it to you when we leave.
You'll see that in all three parts
there's a black line which is interrupted abruptly.
And he said it was like the life of this man who was murdered,
it stops because someone who has the power decides it
and they have no mercy.
But he didn't know that he was killed the same day he finished the painting.
He thinks there is a magic connection. Not a rational one, you know?
It's weird, but now that you've told me that
I feel that looking at the painting is not gonna be the same.
- Why? - Now I'm conditioned.
I don't know, maybe it's better to see the painting,
see how it makes me feel, and then tell me that...
I don't know if it's necessary to see the painting.
Then let's not see it. I've seen it a thousand times.
This cap is amazing.
Look, this one was designed by Dali.
- That's where we were, right? - Up there. Under the tower.
- Are you sure? - Yes!
Okay. I feel bad that you were sick. I apologize in the name of the city.
- Apology accepted. Salud. - Salud.
But the convalescence was good, though.
While I was dying in bed I made an important decision.
- Which one? - I'm going to study literature.
Are you going to leave economics?
Business administration.
Yes. I want to be a writer.
Or better, have a writer's life, I don't know,
something I can do at night or in the early mornings.
Being a writer.
How good, Ocho, wow! Cheers to that.
Cheers.
- And to your movie! - Did Sonia tell you?
Yes. She told me you have been doing a documentary for a while.
For a very long time.
And when are you planning to finish it?
I don't know because,
it's a movie about the millennium
so I don't think it will be relevant if I wait too long after 2000.
But I also think I need to show that
because if I don't, it won't be complete, you know?
I don't know.
Because it's always going to be an impression of your experience.
I guess.
And how did you come up with it?
I was going to do a short documentary
when I realized everybody was really anxious about the year 2000.
I don't really think about it.
You don't care about the end of the world?
No, not really.
Well, that's what my movie is about.
I know the world isn't going to end, that everything is gonna stay the same.
Well, the number is going to change, that's something.
It is.
I'm starting to get drunk.
It's normal, you haven't eaten in days.
But it's the perfect chemical balance.
Pure present, it's perfect.
- Wow, what a fucker, I'm not. - Catch up, then.
- Should we buy tequila? - Yes, and cigarettes.
Okay.
Oh, what is that?
It must have fallen from a clothesline.
Kiss! It looks good on you.
Your Barcelona souvenir. Cool, isn't it?
What a shitty souvenir.
- White Russians? - Korova Milk Bar.
- What? - A Clockwork Orange.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
But why didn't you tell me before?
I don't know. At first I thought you knew.
You called me by the T-Shirt.
I didn't remember at all. When did you realize it was me?
I saw you last night, walking down the street.
I was with a friend at a bar.
- Hence the T-Shirt? - Not at all!
I was very sick that week, and very drunk that night.
Yes.
I'm starting to remember.
And Sonia? Are you still in touch with her?
- She died six years ago. - What?
I thought you were friends with her ex.
Yes. But we haven't spoken in years. How did she die?
Well, in New York actually.
She went there to sing, and one morning
while she was leaving the hotel
a garbage truck pulled backwards and ran over her.
While she was walking.
Wow. Were you still together?
No. We split up a little after you left.
I told her we hooked up.
And she told me she knew,
and that she would rather confirm her suspicions
even if they were sad ones.
Anyway, we were still very good friends after that.
I actually used her eggs for my daughter.
Really? That's great.
Yes, look. There's a lot of Sonia in her.
Wow. She has the same smile.
The eyes too. And especially her personality.
She really likes music, you know?
- Really? - Yes.
Sonia had an amazing voice.
She became one hell of a singer.
Yes, she got a lot better. She has a lot of recorded concerts.
She sang with the best philharmonics.
I'd love to hear her again. Can you send me anything?
Of course.
You know, I looked for you on Facebook and that...
- I'm not on Facebook. - Yeah, but you have a Grindr.
Well, I've never been very consistent to be honest.
What would you have said if you had found me?
I don't remember.
Did you finish your movie?
I lost interest after 2000.
I still remember something you said to me.
About the movie?
It really helped me
to start looking more at my experience and less at the things I admired.
Well, things you admire are part of your experience.
Yeah of course, but it's easy to get lost
in trying to reproduce things that you like.
I don't know. I don't think I agree with that.
It's so weird that you didn't have kids.
- Why? - Because you wanted lots of them.
I said that?
Well, I don't know. Matt wanted them at one point.
But I think I had already changed my mind about that then.
I don't know...
I'm not opposed to having kids, not at all.
But you have to really want them
to put up with the struggles of being a parent.
Yeah, that's true.
- Thank you, cheers. - Cheers.
Ocho... I think I'm leaving.
I have a rule with my husband...
Even though we are open we don't put ourselves in situations that...
It's okay. Of course. I understand.
I'm glad we met again.
Me too.
And thank you for taking care of me while I was sick 20 years ago.
You're welcome. My pleasure.
- I thought I had AIDS. - Why?
I don't know. It's stupid.
I was really sick all of a sudden so I was paranoid.
I looked online and everything was like the worst possible scenario.
And with Sonia singing in the other room,
it felt like the soundtrack of my deathbed.
The Argentine intensity.
So... it ends here? And we can't be friends, can we?
Bye Ocho.
Javi?
What's wrong Oona? Do you like that?
Good morning. Can you feed her?
I have to go.
Remember we're going to clean up the closet this afternoon, okay?
Bye, my love. Bye.
Let's peel it.
It's good, isn't it?
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast.
- Hi. - Hi.
How was it?
Good. We saw Sonia singing in the street.
They don't let her practice in her apartment anymore.
Anyway, she likes to play that whole dying homeless girl thing.
That way she gets some money.
- Has she eaten anything? - No.
Take her to bed, she's exhausted.
Hey. I started with the clothes. I made two piles.
One for things to donate,
and another one you should take a look at.
If you don't want anything from there, let's give them away too.
- Is this one staying? - No. That's to donate.
But this sweater is good.
But it has a stain in the back of the neck that won't come off.
We can't give this one away.
Why? You never wear it.
We have to be strict,
if we haven't used it in over a year, it goes away.
- What's up? - Nothing.
- Do you want to have sex? - No, don't worry about it.
- We can have sex if you want to. - No, it's only fun if we both want it.
Sometimes one doesn't want it as much as the other one
and it's okay to make an effort.
- What's wrong? You can't sleep? - No, I'm okay.
You haven't smoked in years but you still go out to the balcony.
- I guess it's healthier. - Until proven otherwise.
I had a... I was with someone for 20 years but it wasn't you.
- It wasn't me? - No it wasn't you.
- And who was it? - I can't remember.
How come?
I don't remember anything.
The only thing I'm sure about is that it wasn't you.
But if you don't remember anything how do you know it wasn't me?
I don't know. That's the only thing I'm sure about.
We were together for 20 years, we lived in New York...
In New York? Maybe it was me. We've been together for 20 years.
No, but I'm sure about it. It wasn't you.
Well, I hope you don't leave us to go look for that mystery man.
Who said it was a man?
The competition grows.
I'm going to bed, I have to get up early.
And you have a teacher's meeting, right?
Yeah.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.