James Baldwin said,
"If the relationship of father to son
could really be reduced to biology,
the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons."
But sometimes,
biology leaves us with only smoldering embers.
It's hot.
You shouldn't be out here.
You got someplace to cool off?
I know you got family.
La'Ron.
Yeah.
Oh, shoot.
Yes?
I know.
- Just give me the fucking money!
Why'd you make me fucking do that?
I didn't wanna fucking hurt you, man!
Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out!
- Just wanted the fucking money, man!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no—
'Rell? 'Rell. 'Rell, baby.
Baby. Baby, breathe.
Look at me. Breathe.
Breathe.
God.
Tarrell, you got to do something about this.
- It's okay. - No, it's not okay.
- Something is wrong with you. - It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
I can't do this shit anymore.
It's okay, Aisha. It's okay.
Daddy, can I get some pancakes?
No, baby, Daddy doesn't feel good right now.
- Hey, don't tell him that. - Mommy will make you some oatmeal.
Hey, come here, big boy. I got ya. I got ya.
You want some, uh, some-some blueberries in the pancake?
- Just pancakes. - Yeah?
- Mm-hmm. - All right, come on. Let's go.
Pancakes, pancakes. I love pancakes!
Smells good.
Call the doctor.
I will.
- Please? - I will. Hey.
Ahh.
- Yay! Chocolate chips, chocolate chips. - Jermaine.
Two days till mission.
- Shh. - What, Mommy can't know?
What mission?
The extraction mission.
"The extraction mission"?
Parachute in, go save Grandma, and bring her home to safety.
Oh. That mission.
And why do we accept this mission, Jermaine?
Because sons take care of mothers.
Do they?
- Where'd he learn that from? - I don't know.
'Rell, did you let him watch The Godfather?
No. That ain't even a real line.
Y'all get on my nerves.
Tarrell, it's Janine.
Hey.
- Hey. - Hey. What's going on? What are you doing here?
- We-we don't have a visit scheduled. - I'm— I know, I know.
I'm so— I— Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Listen, I was excited. I wanted to see you. Face-to-face.
- Yeah. - Uh, can I come in?
I'm-I'm, actually, I'm working right now, Janine,
- so it's not a good time. - It's okay. I won't be long. I won't be long.
- Did you read the review? - Uh, yeah, yeah, I read it.
- And? - And... it's a review.
When the review is positive, even if it's not quite right, we have to celebrate.
Come on, critics' pick.
I come bearing gifts.
Thank you.
- You're very welcome. - Thank you very much.
What the fuck, T?
What?
Holy shit.
Hey, hey, that's not ready, Janine.
It's-it's not ready yet, okay?
- Listen, Janine... - So this is why I haven't heard from you.
Oh, my God, T!
Oh, my God.
- Janine, please. - Wait, wait, wait, can I see it?
- Can I see it? - No. Nope. Not yet.
Come on, have a seat.
Have a seat, have a seat, have a seat.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on. - Come on. Yeah, come on.
Just give me this. Give me— Oh, my God, the...
The emotion on his face.
He's so frightened, so vulnerable.
I'll take three of these, please.
Oh, my God, T.
No, but seri— This one, this is finished.
This is done. Not another brushstroke. Wow.
I think you gotta do another show.
- The art world wants you, T. What can I say? - Mmm-mmm.
Yeah, "the art world."
Oh, come on, you just got a fucking brilliant review
from a critic who hates everything.
- How is this not your world? - It's not my world.
- Boo-hoo, Mr. Tortured Artist. - "Tortured artist"? I just...
Do you know how many artists would kill to be in your shoes?
Do you know? I know. Do you?
- Yeah. - Another show.
Let's ride the wave.
- Trust me. It's the right move. - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
- Oh! - Hey.
Jermaine. Hey, kiddo.
- What's up? - Hey.
- Look. - What's this?
- That's me. - Oh.
- Is he represented? - That is you.
That's me.
- Yeah, that is— That's good. - Uh, Mom said,
um, come inside, wash your hands,
and don't get no paint in the house.
I'm on the way.
- That's my cue? - Yes, it is.
I gotta get in there.
Thank you for the...
- Yeah. - I'm proud of you.
Ahh!
Hey, be careful.
All right, all right.
- Hey, can I get some help here? - - What do you mean?
No, you're on duty.
Really? Come here. Okay, okay, okay.
All right. All right, all right.
That's enough. That's enough. Hey, come on.
Come on, hey.
Okay, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down. Shh, shh.
Calm down. Look at me. Look at me.
Breathe with me.
Uh-uh. Come here.
There you go.
One more.
Yeah, one more time.
"Shadows on the wall..."
"... noises down the hall."
"Life doesn't frighten me at all."
"Mean, old Mother Goose, lions on the loose."
"They don't frighten me at all.
Dragons breathing flame on my counterpane.
That doesn't frighten me at all.
I go boo, make them shoo. I make fun the way they run.
Life doesn't frighten me at all.
Tough guys in a fight all alone at night.
Life doesn't frighten me at all."
"Don't show me the frogs and snakes and listen for my scream.
If I'm afraid at all,
it's only in my dreams."
- Let me-let me see what you're working on. - - No!
No, don't show him. Let me— Let Mommy see.
Ohh.
- I look good, huh? - Okay.
- He looks good. - Yeah, you look good.
- Yeah, he looks good. - Yeah, I know I look good.
I know I look good.
- Oh, it's Mama Joyce. - Now, look.
Okay.
- That don't look like me. - Come on.
- Isn't this late for her? - That don't look like me at all.
- You said I look good. - I got it.
- This is you, this is you. - Hello?
I'll put him to bed.
Hey, Ma.
- Baby that's a... - Lord, Lord, Lord.
Hey, Mom?
Something wrong?
I don't know nobody there, Tarrell.
My church is here. I...
But we-we... we talked about this, Ma.
What-what happened?
Baby, this is my home.
It's just temporary, Mom.
All right? I'll get you a...
get you a real nice place on the south side, and no more mortgage payments.
You know you don't have to do that, 'Rell.
Well, I want to.
Now, now, you know I don't need nothing fancy, now.
You know I don't need nothing fancy.
And you don't owe me nothing.
I owe you the air in my lungs, Mama.
- I love you. - Yeah.
Love you too.
Hey.
Finish packing, please.
Mm-hmm.
How's Mama Joyce doing, anyway?
Oh, she's, uh...
she's okay.
Just wanna get her out of that house.
- But she's good, right? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Janine stopped by.
She wants me to do another show.
What?
- You just had a show. - Yeah, I know, I know.
But, you know...
My mom doesn't wanna be here any longer than she has to.
- Mm-hmm. - So, I...
I need to.
Fine.
Fine. Do the show.
But I will be in the studio on Monday.
Yeah. It is your turn, I promise you.
I promise.
Okay?
- Sound good. - Uh-uh. Thank you, love.
You got the chorus?
Mm, I have...
Well, I don't have all the words, but I have...
- All right. - I have a little bit.
- Let me hear what you got. - Okay.
Mmm.
- This is the chorus. - Hmm.
Hmm.
Sounds like clouds.
Yeah. Trees with no leaves.
What about, uh...
what about a little more yellow?
What'd you think?
You see my song?
I see you.
Okay, I'm done.
I don't know who you are standing in front of my house,
but I need to warn you, Uncle Sam taught me how to shoot.
So if you don't start explaining why the fuck you standing in front of my house,
my Black face gonna be the last thing you see.
Nuh-uh.
Don't play me.
Ronnie. Ronnie.
Ronnie. What happened to you?
Come on, let's get in the house.
Hey, baby.
They didn't have mint chip,
so I got the only flavor that felt appropriate,
Chubby Hubby.
All right.
I got two spoons...
Uh, baby, baby, careful.
- His ribs are broken. - Oh, careful, his—
I don't give a shit about his ribs.
He's hurt, baby.
He's hurt?
Where's my money and the rest of the shit you stole, La'Ron?
Hm?
Where are my rings, La'Ron?
Gina, he...
How many times are we gonna do this?
Why do you keep forgiving him?
He's my brother.
'Cause he's your brother? I'm your wife.
Get him out of this house.
You know she has every right to be pissed at you.
Hey, George. It's me, Mike.
Hey, I need a real solid, man.
Ronnie's back.
Hey, man, I owe you.
We don't have any beds left at the shelter,
but you can stay in the basement.
It's not much, but it's better than an alley.
Anybody who lives with me abides my rules.
I lock my door every night at 8:00.
If you're not here, you no longer have a place to stay.
I go to chapel every morning at 6:00.
You come with me, or you no longer have a place to stay.
The church has recovery meetings every day.
You have to go twice a week, or... you no longer have a place to stay.
You agree to follow my rules?
I agree.
- Ready, man? - - Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
It's Grandma's house. Yay! We made it!
Mama Joyce!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
Come here, girl! Oh, yes!
- Oh, my God! - How are you?
- Hey! - Let me see.
- Oh, you wanna see? - Yes, ma'am.
Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
- Oh, no! - Uh-oh.
- Oh, oh, look what you brought to me. - That's trouble.
- Look at what you brought to me!
You better come— Oh, where is he? Where is he?
There he is! There he is!
- Come here! You can't fool me. - You can't see me.
Yes, I can.
I can see all of my beautiful baby.
- Hello. Hi. - Hi.
- Hey, Mama. - Did you miss me?
- Yeah. - Did you miss me?
Where are the boxes?
Nothing's packed.
Mama, did you...
did you pack anything?
Did you pack anything at all?
Nothing, Mama?
It ain't gonna take that long.
- All right. Okay. - Tarrell.
Have you lost yourself?
- Hey, Mama. - You come here.
I thought you said you was gonna pack. I just...
It ain't gonna take that long. I got it.
All right, all right. I'm gonna get started.
- It's good to see you. - It's good to see you.
All right.
You lost yourself. Come here!
Ooh, hand me that. Is that Fred?
Is it? Oh, give me that.
- Uh, Mama, I'm trying to put this stuff away.
Let's, uh, keep moving, huh?
I was looking cute in that picture.
- You see how cute I was looking? Hello? - Yeah, yeah.
No, I didn't forget.
Yeah, I-I-I— I gotta reschedule, okay?
Who is she talking to?
All right, I'll call you back. Thank you.
All right, bye-bye.
All of this in two days? The studio is on Monday.
If you do the other thing, then maybe we can get this done
and-and still stay on schedule...
Let me see that picture. Let me see that.
- I was about to... - Let me see. Let me see it.
I'll call Uncle Mike and Aunt Regina.
- They can come help us. - Yeah.
I'll be right back. Hm.
Oh, I left my phone in the car. Can you grab it for me, love?
I'll get it.
- Baby girl. - What?
- You finish my song yet? - Oh, my God.
Okay, it's almost done.
- It's not there yet, but I'm gonna show— - You gonna show it to me?
- Right now, Ma? - Yes! Come on, come on.
- Ma! Oh. Oh, Lord. - Show it to me. Come on, show me.
Mm! You gonna get us in trouble.
Tarrell.
Your mama asked me to come by.
Whoa.
'Rell.
'Rell?
What's the matter, son?
Baby, what's wrong?
What's wrong? Look, Tarrell, look at-look at me.
Who is this?
It's La'Ron. Come here, Jermaine. Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
What— Ugh. Tarrell. I'm sorry, Mama Joyce.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're not gonna let him meet his grandfather?
- Now you wanna be somebody's grand— - Tarrell, let's go. Hey.
- You somebody's granddaddy now? - Tarrell, let's go.
I ain't seen you for 15 years, but now you gonna be somebody's granddaddy?
- You somebody's daddy now? - - All right, I don't want him to hear this.
- I'm taking him to the hotel. - Tarrell, Tarrell.
He's clean, son.
Look at him. He's clean.
- Mama, stop. Stop. - He's clean.
- Mama. - He's clean. He's going to church now.
- I don't care where he's going, Mama. - He's going to church now.
- I ain't got nothing to say to you! - He's going to church.
Just talk to him. Now, where-where you going?
- He came here trying— - Hey, you can go.
La'Ron, where you going?
- Tarrell. - How could you do that?
Tarrell, come on. Just talk to him.
He's trying. Tarrell.
Tarrell.
You know what?
Listen.
Listen, I need you to speak to him.
- I need you to talk to him. - No. No.
No. And I can't believe you'd even ask me to speak to him.
Look, I know how— I know how hard this is for you.
It ought to be hard for you, Mama.
- Trust me. Please. - He has changed.
He ain't changed.
And his change ain't got nothing to do with me,
and it ain't got nothing to do with you.
- Son. Son. - Okay? Nothing.
- Look. Look, look, look, look, look. - Nothing to do.
Do it for me.
- Do it for me. - Look, I love you.
- No, I got to go. I got to go. - It's— Tarrell!
Hey, yo, 'Rell.
'Rell!
What up, bro?
- What's up? - What's up, baby bro?
Even when I was a baby, I was a grown-ass man.
Oh, get out of here.
Hey, bro.
You know your daddy back in town, right?
Mama tried to organize some kind of surprise family reunion earlier.
Shit. I saw that nigga the other day.
He tried to take me to church.
Like, what I look like up in somebody's church, man?
Nigga think he Martin Luther Vandross.
Man, Mom always had horrible taste in men. Shit.
- Least in my case, you know, my dad, he was handsome.
He ain't leave me shit but these irresistible good looks.
Man, you something else.
Man, bullshit.
Hey, you gonna talk to him?
You know, Mom ain't gonna leave you alone till you talk to him.
You-you know how your mama be.
I ain't got shit to say to him.
Hey, fuck La'Ron.
Fuck that nigga.
This ain't about him.
It's about Mama.
Hey, get your ass down here.
Man, what you doing?
You been away from me that long?
You know the routine. Get your ass back in here, bro.
Here we go. Here we go.
- What was that? - Hey, that's four! Let's go!
Ah!
- Four. - All right, all right.
You tired of me beating your ass, or you wanna keep it going?
- I got time. I don't know if you got time, like... - One more round.
I got time. One more round.
- One more? All right. - One more time, man.
Ugh!
Damn!
Oh!
Ahh! Let's go, baby!
- That was pretty good. - Oh, baby! That's, like...
- I'll give you that. I'll give you that. - ... seven, eight?
- That was pretty good. - All right.
You wanna race? Come on.
- Keep running. - Ahh!
Whoo!
Yeah, G-body.
The boy won't even talk to me, Joy.
Ain't nobody said it was gonna be easy.
I know, but...
I tried to talk to him, but the boy just won't even give me a chance.
Wait a minute. Is this the part where you start talking about,
"It's just too hard. I might as well quit"?
Again?
Let me ask you something.
How many times did I take you back, La'Ron?
A lot.
And how many times did you tell me, you promise me, things were gonna be different?
How many times?
- A lot. - Yeah.
Yeah.
And every time,
you came back more broken than you were before.
But I bandage you,
and I take care of you like the Bible say I'm supposed to.
Look at you.
You're the hardest-working man I know.
Except when it comes to relationships.
Relationships are hard.
They're hard.
You never understood that.
Do what you promised you were gonna do.
I know it's hard.
Yeah, it's hard. Yes, it's hard.
You done messed over that child for most of his life.
Yes, it's hard. It should be hard.
But you need to make peace with your son.
You're not gonna break your promise this time.
Mm.
I'm sorry about earlier.
Are we gonna talk about what happened with your father?
I just thought the first time you'd meet him,
he would be in his casket.
I know you would rather be painting right now.
But all of this shit
is just gonna follow us home if you don't deal with it here.
Some things can't be worked out on canvas.
- Mommy! - Baby, look-look at Mommy.
Look at Mommy. Look at Mommy.
I'm sorry.
Jermaine, I'm sorry. Daddy's sorry. Hey.
Jermaine.
Hey, come here.
I'm sorry.
Ah...
Over here.
What's all that?
Consider this a, uh, confession.
La'Ron, will you swear to tell the whole truth?
There-there— There's some things I wanna talk to you about, Tarrell.
Hey, let me explain something to you, man.
I really don't wanna be doing this anyway,
but my mama asked me to, so here I am.
Now, if you don't wanna do it,
I'd be more than happy to leave.
I'm not the same man you remember, Tarrell.
I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Yeah. We doing this?
Uh, should I start with my name, age, or something?
Why don't we, uh...
we just get to the point?
When did you first start using?
Uh...
You remember your Uncle Willie?
You're stalling.
Oh, no, I'm-I'm trying to tell you.
Uh, you remember when we did the drywall in his bedroom closet
- at his house? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember.
Well, Uncle Willie's daughter Jamillah lit that closet on fire.
Yeah, she was smoking crack, trying to hide it from her mama and daddy.
Fell asleep, burned a hole right down to the studs.
Ain't nobody have no money for no rehab back then,
so Jamillah ended up back in that closet.
But this time, she set the whole house on fire.
I was helping Jamillah move in with her boyfriend.
And he was a crackhead too.
You know, that trifling nigga didn't help me move one box.
The question, La'Ron.
The question.
Okay.
I...
I just finished bringing the last box in,
and I was looking for Jamillah, and I-and I found her.
In the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub, about to hit again.
I snatched that pipe out her hand.
I grabbed her up by her arms.
"Jamillah, what's wrong with you, girl?
You know better than this.
You just burned down your daddy house, and you doing this mess again?"
"You don't understand," Jamillah said.
"You never hit this before, La'Ron. You don't understand."
I looked in her eyes, and...
I don't know.
- I don't know. - You don't know what?
What you mean, you don't know?
I wanted to try it.
I took a hit, put my head between my legs,
lifted up and blew out that smoke, and all hell broke loose.
I never felt nothing like that before.
One hit, and I was on the ride.
All I could think about was my next score.
At first, it was— it-it was just on the weekends,
but every time I got a little extra money, I'd hit.
Before I knew it, I was smoking every day.
That-that's why I worked so hard.
You know, I kept working,
so I was able to hide it from most people.
I knew.
Yeah.
Hm.
Give me a second.
This guy broke my rib.
Did you go to the doctor?
Did I see a doctor?
I had health insurance once in my life.
It's when your mama told me she was pregnant.
I remember the day I told my father.
Yeah, we was working on the back of the truck,
me and my daddy, I'll never forget it,
shoveling burning barrels.
I looked over at him, I said, "Daddy, you remember Joyce?
The quiet girl in the choir."
Now, Daddy hated it when I tried to talk and work.
He said, "Boy, spit it out and get back to work."
"Uh, she pregnant."
I never lifted my head. I just kept on shoveling.
Daddy stopped, looked at me and said, "Well, who baby is it?"
I ain't say nothing. I just kept on shoveling.
Just kept on shoveling.
"Who baby is it, La'Ron?"
I-I stuttered and I stammered a bit, and I finally said,
"It's mine."
And I just went on back to shoveling.
Went on back to shoveling.
What did he say?
He ain't say nothing.
He took that shovel and he hit me upside the head so hard,
it knocked me out cold.
We was over on James Street.
Daddy just left me there,
laying on the ground in somebody's backyard.
I woke up with the neighbors standing over me.
They thought I was dead.
I-I just walked home.
When I finally got home that night,
Daddy said I got to do two things,
marry Joyce and get a job with health insurance so I can take care of my baby.
You forgive your father?
Did you, uh...
did you ever even like him?
Your grandfather was a complicated man, Tarrell.
Daddy would come home mad about something
and try to take it out on Mama.
Your grandmother was a living, breathing saint.
Oh, he-he was a minister, but she was a saint.
Man, when you were finally born,
I brought you home to introduce you to your grandfather.
He wouldn't even pick you up.
I tried to put you in his arms.
He walked right by.
He went over to Mama and said, "Now, now, now, that's your son.
That's your lustful heathen sinner."
Mama looked him dead in the eye and said,
"Jesus is strong enough to save."
Whoo-wee!
Daddy looked at me and said, "You won't bring that child into the house of the Lord.
That baby was conceived in sin.
And until you and Joyce confess your sins
in front of the congregation,
you won't set one foot inside of my church."
Oh, I never seen Mama so angry.
She jumped in his face and said, "You don't speak for God!"
That set Daddy off.
Now, your grandfather kept a pistol.
Folks used to call him "the gun-toting preacher."
He whipped that thing out so fast, I ain't even see where it came from.
He aimed that pistol right at Mama's head.
She didn't flinch.
I dropped you on the couch,
and I-and I ran and I jumped between them.
Mama tried to push me away.
Looking over my shoulder, she said, "I trust God."
Daddy put that gun to my head and said,
"Boy, stay out of grown folks' business!"
Right when Daddy said that,
you fell headfirst off the couch.
And, boy, you started wailing.
But Daddy put that pistol down and said, "Somebody shut that pickaninny up!
Somebody shut that pickaninny up!"
"Shut that pickaninny up."
It was hard for him.
Hard for who?
Daddy.
I mean, you know, Daddy was a good man.
He was a good man? You...
you just told me that he...
you just told me that he tried to kill you and Grandma.
Well, Daddy wasn't gonna kill her or me.
You know how many times Daddy pulled a gun on us?
Um...
he had flaws.
Wait...
Wait a minute, wait a minute. No, no.
La'Ron, you judge a man by his actions, by how he lives,
and by how he takes care of his family.
All right, now, he-he pulled a gun on you and on Grandma,
and now you're saying he's a good man?
Uh, he had flaws. I mean, he definitely had flaws.
Flaws?
I mean, but everybody got flaws.
- I mean, who ain't got flaws? - Flaws, man?
And you got flaws, Tarrell. Ain't you got flaws?
Yeah, but we ain't talking about flaws, man.
A flaw is an accident, a mistake.
He fucking pulled a gun on you.
You don't get to go out here a-abusing your family and call yourself a good man.
Mm-hmm. There it is.
There it is.
"I'm not the same man you used to know before, Tarrell."
That's what you said, right?
Ain't that what you said?
No, nigga, this what I remember.
Man, this is exactly what the fuck I remember.
Why the fuck my mama let you back in her life in the first place?
Shit.
At first, it was— it-it was just on the weekends,
but every time I got a little extra money, I'd hit.
Before I knew it, I was smoking every day.
That-that's why I worked so hard.
You know, I kept working,
so I was able to hide it from most people.
I knew.
Let's get it.
Roll it. Come on, roll it.
Come on, let's get it. Now, come on, bend down.
- Come on. You've got it. Bend down. - Agh.
Let's get it.
Little man, jump over here.
Back the truck up. I'll guide you.
Okay.
Come on.
Come on, now.
Come on. Whoa!
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
Come on, get up here, man.
All right, come on.
Oh, come on, Tarrell! You know how to—
I showed you to do it better than that.
Come on, take this shovel. Get on this side.
Come on, now. We ain't got all day.
Ahh! Dad!
Dad!
Ah! Be quiet.
It's barely bleeding.
Come on.
I ain't your mama. I ain't gonna baby you, boy.
You're a little Black boy.
Ain't nobody gonna ever feel sorry for you.
You need to get that shit through your head right now.
Now, dry off.
We gotta go!
Tarrell, you got to understand, the world don't give a shit about us.
Wake up, boy.
The only thing that separates you from these other little niggas
to these white folks is how hard you work.
You got to be able to outwork the next man.
You're both tired, you're both in pain, but who's more hungry, huh?
No, we don't get no days off.
You think I like shoveling shit?
Ah!
Hey!
Hey! What— what you doing, boy?
We got to finish this job!
- Come on, let's go, boy! - My foot.
I don't wanna hear about your foot!
Let's go!
- I can't! I can't! - Get, boy.
What do you mean, you can't?
Boy, if you don't get this thing up this hill, man,
your foot gonna feel like a vacation next to your ass.
Now, let's go. Let's go!
Push it, boy! Go!
- What is wrong with you, huh? - My foot!
- Boy, get up off this woman's lawn!
Let's go! Get in the truck, boy.
Dad?
Can we-can we just go home?
We should just go home.
Mama's gonna be so excited when she finds out
- how much money we made today. - Boy, you ain't gonna tell
your mama a damn thing about this money.
This is my money.
You hear me?
Kenny.
Dad, you promised.
Stay out of grown folks' business, boy.
What's up, La'Ron?
You worked hard today, Tarrell.
You can do anything you set your mind to, boy.
You learned that today.
Tarrell.
You're looking just like your daddy right now.
What'd you say?
Don't say that to me.
You all right?
He told me you came by.
Mm-hmm.
Let's take Jermaine to the park.
We ain't got time for the park. Quentin's coming
- with the truck at 4:00— - Why are you in such a rush to get me out of here?
I have good memories here.
I know you don't, but I got good memories here.
So, you went by.
Did you talk to him?
You remember Douglas Street, Mama?
Of course. We lived there for years.
But do you remember?
Why are you asking me that?
Do you remember that broken mirror?
That night didn't happen.
It was a bad dream. I decided.
What about all the other nights?
Were they dreams too? That shit happened, Mama.
- Watch your mouth. - All right.
He was amazing...
at first.
But the same thing that got a hold of this park got a hold of him.
He gave me you, Tarrell.
He was my first love.
And he gave me you.
Oh, I hate you remember that house.
I still love him.
What?
Why?
Why, Mama?
La'Ron has been through a lot, Tarrell.
You-you've been through a lot.
You've been through a lot, Mama.
Why you still making excuses for him?
Look...
the Bible says that if you don't forgive others of their past sins,
then you can't be forgiven.
That's the Bible, son.
- I don't care what— - Matthew 6:15.
I don't care what the Bible say.
- Mama, I wanna know what you say. - No, honey. Now, look, son.
Now, now, I raised you better than that.
I raised you better than that, now.
- Until you— - Come on.
Until you made him leave, Mama, our life was fear.
I shook the fear,
and now you want me to sit here and play some loving father-son fantasy with you?
That boy over there...
Ours is the only father-son story I'm interested in, okay?
If you don't forgive others of their sins,
if you don't forgive,
baby, if you don't forgive, you won't be forgiven.
No, Mama.
You and this—
Oh, you and this fucking Bible.
Tarrell, now, wait a minute, now.
No, you wanna talk about the Bible,
- let's talk about the Bible. - Now, you can— Li-listen.
- Listen, we can disagree— - Let's talk about the Bible.
We can disagree, but you not gonna blaspheme
- like-like that. - I got one.
- Not in front of me. - I got one for you.
- Abraham and Isaac. - Not in front of me.
- Abraham and Isaac. - You not gonna blaspheme in front—
- You not gonna blaspheme. - Abraham and Isaac.
God told Abraham to kill his only son.
You remember that?
Sacrifices got to be made, right?
So, baby boy had to go. You remember, right?
So, Abraham takes Isaac up to the mountaintop.
Isaac say, "Daddy, where's the offering?
I know we gotta make a sacrifice to your angry-ass God.
- Where is the sacrifice? - Tarrell!
Where is the sacrifice?"
Abraham said, "Don't worry, son. God will provide."
Abraham walks up to the top of that mountain, takes Isaac,
throws him out on that altar, raises the knife up over his head,
and just when the knife starts to break the skin,
God's angel swoops in out of nowhere,
grabs his hand and says, "Abe,
I didn't know you was gonna do that. I was just fucking with you."
Oh, my God.
No. My God.
Look at me.
Look at me, Mama.
Why did you leave me with him?
Look at me.
You knew what he was doing.
Why?
Jermaine, come on.
- Come on. - - Do we have to leave now?
Let's go.
Don't.
What do you want?
I used to live in this house.
You want it back?
I hate this goddamn house.
You left Cool.
You left Cool, babe.
Cool, Cool.
Thank you, Mom.
Hello.
I'm never staying here again.
I don't care how close it is to your mama house.
Cool, Cool, Cool, Cool!
I don't wanna be here no more.
What happened?
She still loves him.
I mean...
Is it-is it just in my mind,
or are bad memories somehow more saturated than good ones?
I mean, how am I supposed to paint a sunny day
if I don't remember ever even seeing one?
- Hmm. - She still loves him.
- Love. - Hm?
It's your brother.
Hey. Hey, man, what happened?
- Where she at? - I've been here 45 minutes, and they won't let me see her.
- She's on machines right now to-to keep her alive. - Machines?
Yeah. And that nigga been over there talking to himself and praying.
Wait a minute, man. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She was fine when I left. Hey, she was fine when I left.
Now, we had an argument at the park, but she was fine. She—
I left, but she was just sitting there.
She-she passed out.
She stopped breathing at the basketball court,
- so they had to come over and bring her here. - Stopped breathing?
- She in the ICU right now. - Hey, man, where-where the doctor?
- I don't-I don't know where the doctor is. - Where's the doctor?
- They not letting me go see her. She— - Doctor, where my mom?
Uh, we've been stabilizing her
- in the intensive care unit. - Can I see her? Can I see her?
No, no. I'm sorry, her condition is very serious.
Your mother has been suffering from dangerously high blood pressure for some time,
and her heart is very weak.
She was fine when I left. She was fine when I left.
We released her from our care last weekend, against our advice.
She insisted she be allowed to go home.
Uh, we won't be allowing visitors until we're able...
Excuse me.
Tarrell, we just need to pray.
- Our Father... - Come on, bro.
who art in heaven...
You know praying ain't gonna do shit.
hallowed be thy name...
'Rell.
thy kingdom come...
Come on, bro, let's go.
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
I need you to pray with me, Tarrell.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the power
and the glory, forever.
Tarrell, if you have faith,
God can do miracles.
- Tarrell. - Hey.
- Tarrell. - Hey!
Have you asked yourself once, one time, what's best for us?
For him? For your grandson?
Just...
You don't get to just pick up where you left off, La'Ron.
You're awake. I'm sorry.
Yeah, I didn't sleep.
I'm gonna head back to the hospital.
All right.
- I'm gonna get dressed. I'll take you. - No. No, no, no.
Hey, hey. It's all right.
Okay? Um, we don't both need to go.
- You sure? - Yeah, yeah.
- Walking-walking will be good. - Okay.
If anything changes, I'll-I'll let you know.
- Okay. - All right.
I'll let the hotel know we're gonna stay here for a while.
No. No, Aisha, it's your turn.
Now, when Mama wakes up and find out that you hadn't finished that song,
- you know she gonna whup your behind, right?
Plus, I, uh, I called Regina and Uncle Mike.
They said they can look after Jermaine for a few days, so...
Yeah.
Mama gonna be good.
All right.
Tarrell.
I figured you'd probably wanna go see your mama first thing.
I can drive.
Just let me drive you, Tarrell.
You wanna get some breakfast first?
Breakfast?
No.
Just wanna get to the hospital.
You remember you used to make breakfast before our dump runs?
Man, we used to work, boy.
Couldn't stop us.
Ain't no father and son ever work like we worked.
My boy used to work like a man.
Boy, you used to be up on that truck faster than me.
All we ever did was work.
Don't know nothing else, man.
I done told you about my daddy.
That man didn't teach me nothing but work.
I had to put steel in you, boy.
You remember how hard it was around here.
I had to be hard on you.
Can't nobody say that you're weak or soft.
Can't nobody say that you don't know how to work.
I taught you that.
Open it.
Now, that's my favorite.
It's called The Preacher's Wife.
That's Mama, right?
That's my mama.
That's my prayer closet.
I never stopped praying for you.
I hear you.
In my head.
But your voice...
it ain't just forcing me to work or screaming at me when I'm tired.
When Jermaine...
when Jermaine messes up, I think of something that you might say.
It scares me.
Man, you put steel in me all right.
But sometimes Jermaine...
I think he just needs to cry.
Yeah, seems like he's stable.
He survived. It was such a scare.
You knew.
That's why you didn't wanna pack.
You knew this was coming.
I just wanted to bring you home.
I just— I was trying to...
What am I gonna tell Jermaine?
I'm sorry, Mama.
Mama.
Mama?
I'm sorry.
Tarrell.
Tarrell, what's wrong?
- My God, baby, where are your shoes? - I don't...
What happened, Tarrell? What happened?
I stepped on a nail.
- Where's your father? - I don't know.
Come on, baby. Uh, let me take you to the hospital.
- We gonna go— It's gonna be all right.
- It's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay.
La'Ron.
What happened to my son?
La'Ron!
- What happened to my son? - Oh, calm down. Fuck!
Stop all the yelling. Geez.
Shit.
He stepped on a nail
with all kinds of... filth on it,
and you let him walk home by himself.
You gotta stop spoiling that boy.
Do you hear what I'm saying to you?
Do you hear me?
He's a boy.
You gotta stop working him like he's a man.
You doing him just like your daddy did you,
and look at you.
Look at you.
You disgust me.
I can't believe you're doing this shit again.
I want you out of this house.
Yeah.
I want you gone.
I want you gone. I want you out!
Me and my son, me and my baby,
we not gonna live like this.
And you not making him into a man.
You're breaking him.
And he's gonna hate you for it.
He is going to hate you for it.
Well, let him just hate me, then.
I want you out of this house.
- This is my house! - I want you gone.
- This is my motherfucking house! - I want you out of this house!
I ain't going nowhere!
- Did you hear me? This my motherfucking house! - I want you out of my house!
I'm not going nowhere!
Why you make me do this?
Mom? Mom? Mom?
What did you do?
La'Ron, what did you do?
Mom? Mom?
Mom?
La'Ron, what did you do?
Mom? Mom, can you— can you wake up?
Mom? Mom?
Mom. Help me!
Help me get her up!
- Hi. How are you? - Hi. Just wanna say, big fan of your work.
- It's absolutely stunning. - Thank you.
Oh, my God. Can I get a selfie?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
- Awesome. - All right. Thank you.
All right, thank you. Yes. Love it.
- Um, Mrs., uh... - Yeah. Barbara.
- Barbara. Barbara. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes.
It's good to see you. Hi.
- Yes, hi. I'm another Barbara. - This is Barbara too, yes.
Yes, you know, I've known him for a long time.
- Almost 20 years. - Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
- Tarrell, this is James Kirlin. - - Hi.
He's been wanting to meet you for a really, really long time.
- Pleasure to meet you. Nice to meet you, James. - Nice to meet you.
- He owns two of your works. - Oh, wow.
I remember his paintings at the Studio Museum.
- Yeah. Yes, Studio— - Hey. Hi.
- Can I steal you for just a minute? - Right, yeah. Sorry. So sorry.
- I have collages of your work and paintings. - - Oh.
- So good to see you. Thank you. - Nice to see you again.
- Can't wait to get back to it. - Thank you.
Okay. Thank you.
Can you hang out a little-a little while longer?
Uh, um, just a little bit, but not-not much longer.
I-I wanna— I wanna get back.
Aisha— I wanna get back.
- Aisha-Aisha went home, right? - Yeah. Yeah.
All right, give me like— give me another 20 minutes.
- Okay, ten minutes sounds good. - Uh...
You know, I have been saving something for you.
I have ten other people interested,
but this one, right over there,
- what do you think? - I love it.
I know.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
Sir, don't touch the artwork.
Oh, my God, you're Tarrell's father.
Oh, my God, I am so sorry. Forgive me.
Oh, wow.
I didn't mean to speak to you like that.
I-I'm sorry, ma'am.
It just got a hold of me.
I know exactly what you mean.
It is...
Ha. I'm Janine.
I represent Tarrell.
Wow, that son of yours is so talented.
I bet he gets that from you.
Tarrell.
I own several of your paintings.
My favorite piece, I hang over my bed.
I mean, my kids have grown up seeing your work every day.
Um, when my daughter went off to Dartmouth,
she insisted that her mother and I let her take a smaller piece,
hang it in her dorm room.
Oh, can I take a picture of you to send to Jenny?
- ... which I think is really interesting. - - Hm?
- Oh, she's gonna love this. - It's a beautiful piece. The light in there...
No?
- Oh, come on, she's gonna— - Don't-don't-don't touch me.
- She's gonna love this. - Don't touch— don't touch me.
Hey.
- Tarrell? - I just bought the painting you're standing in front of.
- I don't think a picture is too much to ask for. - Tarrell?
- I said don't fucking touch me. - Tarrell, this is Arthur Emanuel.
You don't know me.
- Arthur and Teresa Emanuel. - Yes, thank you.
- I don't-I don't know you. - All right? Just 'cause you bought a fucking painting
- does not mean you know me, okay? - I'm a big supporter of you.
- Tarrell, calm down. - Okay? I'm your biggest fan.
- All right? - I'm a big supporter of you.
Did she tell you about this painting? You know who this is?
- It's your mom, right? - Huh? It's my dead mother.
- Okay. - You wanna hang her picture over your— over your bed too?
- Is that what you wanna do? I got a better idea. - I'm sorry.
- I'm very sorry. - Why don't you take the painting of my dead mother
and-and give it to your daughter, uh, Katie or Jenny,
- or whatever the fuck her name is... - Control yourself.
- ... as a graduation present. - Come on, son.
Arthur.
You okay?
Why are you here?
I haven't seen you since the funeral.
- I thought— - Why are you here, La'Ron?
You painted me, Tarrell.
This painting was about me being freed from the darkness that I've done.
Hm. That's good.
Oh, that's good.
God was speaking through that painting.
I'm glad for you.
- 'Cause everything just gets erased, huh?
That's God's grace, Tarrell.
Grace?
You know, everything I saw
plays in my head again and again and again and again,
and you talking about grace.
You think that painting is about you getting set free?
- You think that that painting is about you?
That painting is about me trying to keep the past from sneaking up behind me
and destroying my everything.
I put it on canvas so that I could hold that shit by the throat.
What you want me to say?
I raised you the best way I knew how.
No, nigga, my mama raised me.
I did you the way my daddy did me.
- Oh, this— - But it worked on you.
I mean, look at everything you've got, Tarrell.
Your art, your family.
What I did wrong taught you to do right.
You need to thank God for that.
Thank God?
So, you-you saying...
that me watching you abuse yourself made me a better father?
You beating my ass made me a better father?
Me watching you put your hands on my mama made me a better father?
And now...
nigga, now, you want me to thank God for that?
I was on crack, Tarrell.
- What'd you expect? - And I was a boy watching his father on crack!
That's not me no more.
- Okay. - That's not me no more.
It's not good to live with all that inside of you.
You need to forgive so God can take that away.
You need to pray.
No more prayers, La'Ron.
No more prayers.
Those prayers didn't save my mama.
You know she still loved you?
After all that shit you put her through...
she still loved you.
That's what we was arguing about in the park, you know.
I couldn't understand it.
But I think I get it now.
It wasn't for you.
Man, I need to move on.
La'Ron, I forgive you.
For what you did to me.
But I will never forget what you did to my mama.
We-we still got the future.
No, man.
No future, La'Ron.
You wanted my forgiveness, and I gave you that.
The, uh, the future...
the future belongs to, uh, to Aisha and to Jermaine.
You took the past.
And, man, I forgive you.
I understand.
Life didn't give you a lot of choices.
But the future...
that's mine.
Mama...
It's in a Byzantine style.
You know, like the religious icons.
I mean, he-he really put a lot of, uh...
Tarrell, what are you doing?
You can't do that. What are you doing?
Tarrell.
For your prayer closet.
Don't stop praying for me.
You okay, Dad?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm all right.
I love you.
Come on.