Maybe I'm just scared to leave
and I, I need something to...
But the thought of being so far away from... it kills me.
Maybe this is just crazy and confusion talking,
but I need to get this out.
Meine dammen und herren,
mesdames y messieurs,
and variations on that theme,
including kiddos from one to one thousand,
step right up!
Ha-ha. Honk-honk!
Ha.
Ooh.
Huh?
Woo!
Ah.
Toss and turn! Spin and learn!
Catch yourself before you burn.
Thank you.
Okay, so?
Yeah. No.
But I, I have other songs, if you...
Got something lighter?
I could use a busboy.
Hey, everybody, look. Una co-estrella!
Honk-honk!
Finally.
Sorry.
I can work through lunch.
Is that a love song I hear?
You know I never touch the stuff.
Do you wanna go to the city tonight?
You finish the application?
I—
don't—
think—
I—
have—
the discipline—
to—
train.
Please!
It's Holy Holy Heavens night in Berlin.
Only to be abandoned the moment you spot blue hoodie boy,
or whoever else catches one of your twin eyes?
Blue who?
Remember last New Year' you said it's time to let yourself fall?
Nobody has knocked me off my feet.
You lack inertia, ami.
I'm buried deep.
Forget your problemas
and get your best space suit,
The Children are set to rocket to the heavens!
Mi hijo,
The Children eat free.
Yes, Mother.
What if something's wrong?
Something's always wrong with her.
Dos tequilas.
What in the holy holy heavens
are you here as tonight?
First, "holy" isn't heavenly.
From English to Latin to Greek to Hebrew,
holy has a more tangled origin than orange.
So you're a linguist?
Words are just a passion.
I'm gravity.
Noted. Well, Gravity, I'm Levity.
Gravity?
So, what do you wanna be when you grow up
and all that small talk?
So we're doing that then?
Sorry.
We don't have to.
Finished college year before last.
Barely. Now I'm in historical preservation
to pay the rent.
And to feed the soul, you what?
Make music in the sorrow key?
You look like someone with a lot of songs inside.
Sad songs no one wants to hear.
I just graduated, and you're two years out.
Is that scary?
I just keep the fire lit under my focus.
What's your plan?
You mean, what's my mother's plan?
Ah, one of those.
She got me a job at a...
And, uh, it would feed the rent, but...
What would feed the soul?
Maybe you need a roadie warrior.
Anything's possible.
Not everything.
Sorry, I, the time.
Nice to chat kid fears with you and all that small talk,
but I gotta be up early for—
My plan is to run away to the circus.
To feed the soul.
Honk-honk.
Every kid's dream.
Every mother's nightmare.
And day one of that foolish plan starts in T-minus 29.
Apologies for my...
Who will be the keeper of my heart
if I reveal all my darkness
as well as my light?
Themes better suited to needy songs,
no one needs to hear.
Ah.
Ta-da!
Can I see you play sometime?
I'll try to get you on the list when the next show comes up.
Okay, night.
Morning.
Doors closing.
Birdie?
Tell me you made it home alive?
Decide your destruction.
Hola. Hello. Konnichiwa.
Ni Hao Ma. Oh, and for you neophytes,
I'm Mama Bird.
Son, the Ivy Leagues snatched you away
from the Ivy that hatched you,
but you're finally free to return to my fabulous nest
for as long as you like.
Weeks. Months. Eternity.
And whenever you miss your friends, invite them.
You're all welcome here, day or night,
because I'm never letting you out of my sight again.
To dodging panes of glass, my heart,
my soul, my...
Birdie?
He flew the coop.
Finding out if someone's worthy of a fall requires more
than getting to know the texture of their tongue.
Mother. Yuck.
What if what I'm looking for doesn't even exist?
Uh-huh.
What if you're just afraid of losing the freedom
to flit from one possibility to another.
You call that lighter, kid?
Still need that busboy.
Hey, hey, it's me.
You said you would put me on the list next time you play.
Yeah, it was sold out, so...
Do, do you wanna chill, like, tomorrow
or maybe the next day, or, or even now.
We could get some Thai food, watch a cinema or maybe...
Okay, how about this? Camping.
- I don't sleep on the ground. - That's not a problem.
Ivy's got all the stuff that we could—
Where would we go?
Anything's possible.
No, you need a destination.
I got a map.
It's in here somewhere.
Sorry, just a low fever.
But if you really need me to work...
Thanks, Wink.
I'll check in on Monday.
Get the good stuff, Ivy's treat.
Nobody's mom is buying me anything.
It'll pass.
Don't worry.
- You— - I—
Sorry, sorry, you go.
I hate camping.
- Wha... - This is, this is okay.
What, why in the world falls are we here?
What were you gonna say?
You want S'mores,
or are you good with the agave?
I'm good. More than—
Did you check the forecast?
No, did you?
This was your plan, so...
Oh, come on.
Ta-da.
Sorry, I, uh, I should have—
Yeah, welcome to my luck.
S'more?
All yours.
So, tell me about your love life and all that small talk.
Mm. You first.
Love songs in my family
tend to be the angry kind that end in scars.
So, I locked myself up behind the promise
never to be lifted through.
Sorry, I've been told I can be a lot to take.
Your turn.
In the companion department,
there was one I thought I was falling for,
but mostly loneliness and, uh...
Hi.
Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
Yes, yes, we have all the food
and drink we could possibly need.
Yes, it's just rain.
Okay, love you too. Bye.
Welcome to my luck.
Hey, the other night you said
circus was every mother's nightmare.
Ivy's a doer,
not a dreamer.
Dreams are all my mom ever had.
However small.
Is she happy with all your success?
Even if I never sold a record or a ticket,
she'd still think I made it. Mm, just for trying.
It's supposed to be waterproof.
Sorry, again.
Have you sold any?
Records?
Studios aren't really in the current budget.
Do you let that stop you?
Do you think our parents' expectations
- limit us? - I'd say elevate.
I am glad we didn't go home together the other night.
Me too.
This is better.
Now what?
I think it's time you sang me a song in D minor.
I think it's time you did me a circus trick.
Uh, step right up.
When are you leaving?
Must be, what, T-minus 26 by now?
Except...
gotta finish that application first.
But this is blank and—
Due tomorrow.
Qui est ton clown?
It's a big decision.
But we could fill this out now.
Or...
we could set things on fire.
Come on.
A little corner of the world
where we can feel totally at peace.
Untouchable.
Yeah, my gig the other night wasn't...
There was no gig.
I know.
I, uh, saw you through the—
- Why am I telling you this? - Hey, no worries.
I'll be front and center as soon as you—
Being fed by some brawny acrobat somewhere outside Paris.
Exécutez les compétences
latéralement à la caméra.
Action.
Faire le pont.
Grand écart.
Hey.
Grand écart latéral.
Ah, ooh.
- Oh, no, no, no, no. - You're going down.
Moving on to l'artistique.
Qui est ton clown?
September 15th just opened up.
It's yours as long as you can get a track out
- in time to promote it. - Really?
Thank you, Boston. You, you won't regret it.
Oh, yes, I will. Next.
Everything you need to do instead of dream.
Except a bunch of cash.
Now, this is everything I need.
Qui est ton clown?
He gotta be in here somewhere, right?
Mesdame and messieur, and variations of kiddos
ranging from one to one thousand, step right up.
This'll do.
For now.
Let me know if you think it's good enough to—
It's great.
Sorry.
I've been avoiding this too long.
Hey, kid, I was startin' to think
- that maybe you skipped town. - Me?
No, that would be your...
I've just been busy and...
I'm coming home Wednesday.
This Wednesday?
Already?
Yeah, yeah.
The date got moved up, so...
Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll figure something out.
You can help me burn all the loose flack.
- You sound happy. - Yeah, I woke up
in the middle of a dream, some old woman telling me
to get out there and plant some seeds
and watch 'em grow.
No more running, right?
The world was meant for me, for all of us.
I met this guy and, uh,
the way he makes me feel is nothing like I've ever...
I was looking for a body to hold me when I need to be held
and leave when I need to be left alone.
And I guess I thought nobody exists like that.
Walls. Why do I have so many?
Bad news.
Vous êtes invités?
- You actually applied. - First day of class is—
- Trois Septembre. That's— - Too soon.
Woo.
So, Mom, remember about the, uh, uh, Paris
that I was talking about? I...
I, um...
- I was— - Spit it out.
- Ivy? - Ah.
Ah, stunning isn't she?
The hand painting is, and the 3D printing tech.
Ah, it's killer, huh?
I couldn't stop the march of the mutant cells
and I refused to live with any of the OG eyes.
So we chisel out the bad, patch up what's left and...
What was it about Paris?
Later.
Now, I just have to convince them
to let me be my own test subject.
Sorry, Wink. Still feeling under the weather.
I'll check in again on Monday.
Everything okay?
Perfect.
Last time you said you didn't like camping,
but here we are again.
Oh and 5%, if that has anything to do with it.
- What? - Chance of rain.
I checked. Seems like good odds.
I was 12, visiting Mom
and fiancé number, oh, who knows?
Lockwood, we called him.
Drove a sports car Red leather seats.
Anyway, that fall I'm back at Dad's when Mom calls.
"You watching the news?"
We didn't live in the same time zone, let alone the same town.
So she just put the phone to the TV
and, "Lockwood was arrested on charges of first-degree murder
after confessing to slashing the throat of a young woman
at the campground with his father.
You know, they traced it back to that weekend when I was there,
with him and Mom camping in a tent, kinda like that one.
Oh. Holy...
Oh, here, a trick Mom taught me.
You know, we can leave if you...
No, no, I...
I, I like confronting it
with someone that makes me feel safe.
Insert awkward segue
echoing, "Who will be the keeper of my heart
if I reveal all the darkness inside?"
There's more?
Well, if you haven't already, that would make
- some kind of song. - One more no one wants to hear.
I would.
How's that studio coming along?
Closets have their limitations,
but I'll figure it out.
You must have something we need to laugh about?
Some fatal darkness?
Does it have to be a mother thing?
'Cause I can't top that.
Ivy, she's really strong,
while I...
Walls.
Ta plus grande faiblesse?
My greatest weakness.
All my life I've been pretty much lost in every aspect of...
I get overwhelmed at all my goals
and confused when I'm supposed to choose just one.
And when I do, I get frustrated
and just slip into anything else.
That's in your stars.
You're lucky your Leo moon is there
to organize that Gemini sun.
What if my moon is no match for my sun?
What if I just keep slipping my entire...
What if I never get good enough at any one thing for inertia?
Maybe you're good enough faster than most people.
- That's why you slip. - I have news.
Why don't you write down a list of your goals
and just work your way down it.
Vous êtes invités.
I'm running away to the circus.
- Every kid's dream. - Every mother's nightmare.
I leave for Paris trois Septembre.
11 days from today?
I'm supposed to come ready with a clown,
which is another goal for my list.
Qui est ton clown?
What does that even mean? Do I have to find it?
Am I already it?
I did record one song in my closet
inspired by my mom,
and by you.
- It's close, just needs some— - No disclaimers.
You see, my finger work is...
And it needs way more production
than I'm capable of in my closet.
I'm still trying to like get it perfect perfect.
Well, perfect's not possible—
He says to the Virgo.
That was amazing.
Do you ever wonder why we, that night.
I didn't even want to go out.
Then it was dark and loud.
And crowded, and then...
And then...
Oh, 11 days.
That's crazy.
10 days now.
Judging by the moon.
I'm trying to be thankful for the time
I've got to spend with you, but I...
It's really hard.
It's not the only thing.
Yeah, I want to see your eyes.
This has all been too easy, which makes me nervous.
But then I remember that in a couple weeks I leave.
So, I mean, we're both having fun, right?
Life is a constant slip in and out of...
I love when I pretend to be strong.
Real world's calling.
Do we have to answer?
Promise you'll tell her about Paris.
Want reinforcement?
No, I need to go solo.
Okay.
Does it feel good, coming home?
Feels like I got more of a life in the inside than out.
Pretty much begged the judge for any kind of help
before I got out.
They gave me a useless appointment.
All they said was stop and breathe.
When you said on that report when she was choking you,
she said, "Aren't you dead yet?"
- What if next time you are? - Pull in here.
One, two, three...
four, five, six.
- No, no. This is your song. - It's yours now. Free.
Just, just play it for me sometime.
The whole range. Yes.
Operation Ivy is a go.
That Italian blue.
Tres, tres.
It's nice, too nice.
Especially considering I asked for a suitcase.
For why? Where are you going?
Other than to go down with me to production.
Wait, wait. So... Um...
Step right up, Mother, Ivy.
I know that your due for me is, well...
but...
Ah.
As an assistant.
Can you...
Ivy, the 3D printer is down.
Hold on, hold on, I have like a... I have a whole, just...
Ho ho.
Whoop, woo.
Ah.
- Ta-da. - Mm-mm.
But, to feed the soul.
Ta-da.
I've been accepted into the next session.
So, lots of choices.
Luckily, you have an easy decision.
Except that...
Forget production.
I'm taking you to see your office.
The view isn't as fly as mine,
but you'll have an even nicer one in no time.
Come on.
Someone called "Robin" is here.
Good morning, kid.
It's actually nearly dinnertime, Mom.
Oh.
This place is far out.
Oh, wow.
I didn't tell you this before 'cause I knew you'd think
it's too fast, but I'm gonna get married again.
Don't worry, don't worry.
This one's gonna take real good care of me.
He promises to take me back east as soon as he gets out.
And, um, you're never gonna guess his age.
Eight months older than you.
I know, it's wild.
So, like, I gotta get a ring on my finger
before he finds out that, like, I'm really an old lady, so...
Big favor to ask.
You'll walk your mom down the aisle, right?
Come on, kid.
- I— - Come on.
- I actually— I booked a gig. - Come on.
Yeah, I got a lot of work to do.
What? Oh, my God.
I'm finally gonna get to hear my kid play.
That's so far out.
Ooh, maybe I can get married, you know,
right there as your grand finale,
like, right before you—
Right before I have to run to the edge of the sea
to find you again?
One, two, three.
Four, five, six.
Last New Year's I resolutioned
to let someone knock me off my feet and...
now I think I'm finally falling
and it scares me.
But he's beautiful,
inside and out
and he's definitely turned my summer upside down, so...
You have no idea how lucky you are.
Look how hard she's trying.
She's throwing you a going away party.
She's throwing herself a look what you'll be missing
if you leave my fabulous nest party.
That you're late for.
Your father was...
And your siblings flew as soon as a window opened.
But you, you've always stuck by me.
It's decided.
I've, I've decided.
Why?
Whatever.
Growing up, all you ever said was anything's possible.
It was you driving me.
Marching band, math club, Spanish club,
ecology, drama club, student council, debate team,
golf club, baseball,
whatever happened to don't just dream, do?
You're not packing in that trunk, are you?
Why not?
It's nomadic and fragile and entirely impractical.
You'll be lucky if it even makes it to Paris on one piece.
I'm only gone 148 days.
Who knew I'd ever look forward to sleeping on the ground?
After one stop, I got a surprise.
I have a surprise too.
No way.
Honk-honk.
New goal.
I wanna take pictures in front of all the famous landmarks,
but I don't want the same kind of boring pictures
that every tourist takes.
So I will bring my noses
from place to place and get random people
to take portraits in front of everything.
I'm excited for once.
Should I be excited or scared?
Since I will be knee-deep in Paris
until summer gives up her fight.
Surprise, happy early birthday.
Bienvenido. Willkommen. Come on in.
Doc.
Meet The Doctor, a client of my father
who just so happens to be a killer music producer.
- Yeah, I know who the... Hi. - Hi.
So you're the one taking this twisted, blind sided highway?
- Where's, uh... - Oh, the Dream.
She's on tour.
But I, I gave you foam noses.
Which I absolutely need and love.
Plus, this is kind of for me too.
I've always wanted to learn how to produce music, so...
- Oh, a classic slip. - Yes.
So I hear you need a track to compel the kids to The Fountain?
Have you ever recorded in a studio before?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
It's just been a while and I,
I don't have a song ready with lyrics and everything.
- Stop. - He's a genius just like I said.
- Sorry. - Well, that melody's magic.
But ever think about clicking down the BPMs and, you know,
chilling the tone out a little bit?
Unlucky darkness is kind of my whole—
Hm, okay.
Let me show you something.
You see, it makes you wanna lean in.
You know, like, check what you're trying to tell us
about your life.
Sorry, I...
You should listen to The Doctor.
Your melody is magic.
- One, two, three. - And your words are hopeful.
- Four, five, six. - But you must know that.
I know exactly what my song is.
It's all ready to be laid down to rest.
Your gig is in a week.
You are not even gonna be here for it, so why do you care?
What if I don't go?
Don't even think of not.
I won't be the reason you slip.
I scare myself from time to time.
With how dark some of my thoughts and feelings are.
- I got you fun noses. - I just wanted—
Are you okay?
No, I, I saw her.
Uh, my mom, when I picked her up from work.
Why do you always smile when you talk about—
I don't.
She dreamed of being a musician too.
Even has piles of lyrics she wrote when she...
Most better than mine.
But dreams being the cancer of the common class.
What if I'm doomed to be like her?
Where are you right now?
Doing instead of dreaming.
Let's just, new energy, no over-analyzing,
no pressure to talk about some deep impossibility.
Forget The Doctor. Let's just, let's just go to the mountains.
We'll clear our heads. We'll go—
I really don't feel like sleeping on the ground tonight.
Hey. Hey!
Hey!
It's our last weekend.
Let's just get in the car and drive and...
Before summer gives up.
Wait.
Fine!
Sorry, I tried.
Good luck with being unlucky.
Luck is having a safety net to catch you when you fall,
no matter how high you leap.
Or maybe luck is what you get
when you stop sabotaging yourself.
Falling, falling, falling in...
Not just everything about you
but the fact that I can love someone.
It's so strange how I went from having nothing to...
I have crawled inside you and I will not let go.
It does seem kind of unfair, timing.
I can't let you leave without telling you some things.
Okay.
The other day, it was my first time in a recording studio.
I'd been in one in my mind
and maybe convinced myself it was true.
But I'm glad to say, like, my first time was with you.
And when I saw Mom the other day, it wasn't...
It was when I picked her up from prison for the fifth time,
drinking and driving, selling meds to pay for vodka,
assault, defending herself against her brother,
her girlfriend, felony, battery, fighting off husband two.
It's the reason so many women are— So I read.
Self-preservation.
I grew up a poor kid.
I, um,
made up a lot to seem more important,
cool,
just not poor.
It's proven a hard habit to break.
But you knowing the real me,
bringing me further away from needing...
Is it possible you might say something?
Like, anything.
You know, I talk, then you talk. That's how conversations work.
Well, I don't know what to... You just keep—
Yeah, I keep talking 'cause you never—
It's a lot to take in.
You can be a lot to take in.
No. I don't deserve anything else.
You've given me plenty.
Excuse me!
The past few weeks has been so...
I don't know whether to cry or smile or laugh,
but I love you.
I love you too.
You're still getting on that plane.
Are you sure?
As long as you promise not to slip
and come back a better fool.
No more walls.
Is that on the radio?
Maybe I'm scared to leave and I, I need something to...
But the thought of being so far away from you, it kills me.
And maybe this is just crazy and confusion talking,
but I need to get this out.
Nobody has made me feel
as sexy or confident
or inspired or protected.
It feels like my desire to be with you
is gonna be just as strong in the next few...
Why am I so scared to lose you?
I've never felt so full in my life.
One true clown is born every half century.
So too bad for all of you.
You may try years and years and never meet your clown.
No matter how many costumes you may try.
One, two, three,
four, five, six.
You're up kid.
The challenge, be glamorous,
be elegant
and sell baked beans.
Less than zero.
You, your water on his head.
- Hi. - Hi.
So, circus school isn't what I—
You know, maybe I'm weaker than I thought.
- What if lack of discipline— - You promised not to slip.
Yeah. Your mom show up yet?
Robin only resurfaces when she needs something.
You know what, I hate this. Not being able to—
No slipping.
Cocentra! Cocentra!
Concentreaz te, biete!
- Honk-honk! - Now, that!
Slipping can be funny! It's only life after all, mon imbecile.
Under the bigtop today.
For you,
magnifique.
Oh, one second.
- Okay. - Nice.
Merci.
Final dress rehearsal for my international debut.
Ta-da!
Thanks y'all!
So, I'm gonna close with a cover of,
you know those songs that just seem like
they were written just for you.
Well, here's hoping I do it some justice. No, no, no.
A certain someone says perfection's an impossibility.
So... no disclaimers.
Ah, I should be on the list.
I don't wanna open it.
Why?
What if it's weird seeing you in real moving life?
What if you're different than before?
Pretty sure I am.
What if you're not as good a kisser as I remember?
Lot of expectations.
Agreed?
What now?
It may be rushing and we might be fools for thinking, but—
This is a place for one.
Oh!
Or three.
Okay, good.
- Thanks Pip, thanks Pip. - Let's take a picture.
Thank you.