1 00:00:58,444 --> 00:01:00,241 Basic principles: 2 00:01:00,346 --> 00:01:02,405 No woman wakes up saying: 3 00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,674 "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." 4 00:01:08,654 --> 00:01:13,148 Now, she might say... "This is a really bad time for me." 5 00:01:15,428 --> 00:01:19,626 Or... something like... "I just need some space." 6 00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:23,384 Or, my personal favorite: 7 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:26,598 "I'm really into my career right now." 8 00:01:29,644 --> 00:01:32,232 You believe that? Neither does she. 9 00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:36,435 You know why? Because she's lyin' to you. That's why. 10 00:01:36,956 --> 00:01:39,400 You understand me? Lyin'. 11 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:43,989 It's not a bad time for 'er. She doesn't need any space. 12 00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,073 And she may be into her career, 13 00:01:46,074 --> 00:01:49,910 but what she's really saying is, uh, "Get away from me now." 14 00:01:49,911 --> 00:01:53,000 Or, possibly, "Try harder, stupid." 15 00:01:55,845 --> 00:01:57,132 Well, which one is it? 16 00:01:57,965 --> 00:02:02,087 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. 17 00:02:02,475 --> 00:02:03,715 Body language. 18 00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:06,101 30% is your tone. 19 00:02:06,679 --> 00:02:10,190 So that means that 90% of what you're sayin'... 20 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:12,013 ain't comin' outta your mouth. 21 00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:17,013 Toby! Toby! 22 00:02:18,591 --> 00:02:19,146 Shit! 23 00:02:19,409 --> 00:02:20,770 Of course she's gonna lie to you. 24 00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:23,479 She's a nice person, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings... 25 00:02:23,871 --> 00:02:26,360 What else she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. 26 00:02:26,697 --> 00:02:27,581 Yet. 27 00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:33,213 Luckily, the fact is that, just like the rest of us, 28 00:02:33,214 --> 00:02:37,587 even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. 29 00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:40,005 And that's where I come in. 30 00:02:40,041 --> 00:02:42,175 My job... is to open her eyes. 31 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:43,314 Toby! 32 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,014 Oh, my God! 33 00:02:50,422 --> 00:02:52,098 Is this what you're looking for? 34 00:02:52,384 --> 00:02:56,062 Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who... 35 00:02:56,352 --> 00:03:00,054 any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. 36 00:03:00,466 --> 00:03:02,229 Just needs the right broom. 37 00:03:11,744 --> 00:03:13,583 You cannot use what you do not have. 38 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:16,596 So, if you're shy, be shy. If you're outgoing, be outgoing. 39 00:03:16,973 --> 00:03:19,204 - I'm not outgoing. - That's okay. 40 00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:23,000 Now, she may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you. 41 00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:26,390 She may not wanna see it all at once, but she does want to see it. 42 00:03:26,391 --> 00:03:29,006 So, tonight, when you're wondering what to say, 43 00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:31,220 or... how you look, or whether or not she likes you, 44 00:03:31,221 --> 00:03:34,488 just remember, she is already out with you. 45 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:38,685 That means... she said yes when she could've said no. 46 00:03:38,979 --> 00:03:42,897 That means she made a plan, when she could've just blown you off. 47 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:47,067 So, that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. 48 00:03:47,532 --> 00:03:50,752 It is your job not to mess it up. 49 00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:52,042 Huh? 50 00:03:52,281 --> 00:03:53,043 Huh? 51 00:03:53,408 --> 00:03:53,866 Huh? 52 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,039 Shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you, right? 53 00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:00,872 Yeah, but... I don't... I don't think they're really me. 54 00:04:01,497 --> 00:04:04,764 "You"... is a very fluid concept right now. 55 00:04:04,765 --> 00:04:08,639 You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. 56 00:04:08,801 --> 00:04:10,598 That's the you that I'm talking about. 57 00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:15,687 Now, the key tonight is hang back. 58 00:04:16,847 --> 00:04:18,515 Give 'er plenty o' space. 59 00:04:19,945 --> 00:04:22,853 If she lingers at a photograph, move on. 60 00:04:24,726 --> 00:04:26,482 But maintain the visual. 61 00:04:30,629 --> 00:04:32,957 All right, now. It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight. 62 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,286 So when you leave the club, walk a little. 63 00:04:35,287 --> 00:04:37,738 Ask her what she thought about the show, 64 00:04:37,952 --> 00:04:40,667 what was her favorite photograph, why that one. 65 00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:44,047 And when she answers, don't be looking at her mouth. 66 00:04:44,048 --> 00:04:46,923 Don't be wondering what she looks like naked. 67 00:04:46,924 --> 00:04:50,881 Listen to what she is saying and respond. 68 00:04:51,095 --> 00:04:53,342 Listen and respond... Listen and respond... 69 00:04:54,142 --> 00:04:55,889 That way, when it's your turn to talk, 70 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:59,024 you'll have something better to say than "I like your mouth." 71 00:04:59,025 --> 00:05:00,390 What was your favorite one? 72 00:05:02,308 --> 00:05:04,350 The, uh, elephant, definitely, yeah. 73 00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:07,149 And all of a sudden, we're on date number two. 74 00:05:10,953 --> 00:05:11,794 Ready. 75 00:05:18,504 --> 00:05:19,422 No way. 76 00:05:21,206 --> 00:05:24,079 We're going back in there. You have to smile. 77 00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:27,709 In case you didn't go to high school, hitting is a good thing. 78 00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:30,583 So, how does it happen... great love? 79 00:05:30,837 --> 00:05:31,675 Are you okay? 80 00:05:31,878 --> 00:05:33,389 - Nobody knows. - I'm good. 81 00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:36,718 Uh, let me get a Bomb Pop and a Screwball for the lady. 82 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:41,312 But what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. 83 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:45,906 One moment, you're enjoying your life. 84 00:05:46,665 --> 00:05:49,816 And the next, you wondering how you ever lived without them. 85 00:05:51,865 --> 00:05:53,412 Three dates is all I need. 86 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:58,170 Three dates and I'll get you here, to the high-stakes medal round... 87 00:05:58,844 --> 00:06:01,556 where eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss 88 00:06:01,557 --> 00:06:05,126 will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship. 89 00:06:35,319 --> 00:06:37,748 After that... you're on your own. 90 00:06:38,384 --> 00:06:39,753 But always remember... 91 00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:43,622 life is not the amount of breaths you take. 92 00:06:45,257 --> 00:06:48,283 It's the moments that take your breath away. 93 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:54,594 Did I call it or did I call it? 94 00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:56,887 I mean, what did I say, six months? 95 00:06:57,403 --> 00:06:58,944 And when was her first date? 96 00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:01,777 So, five and a half? God, I hate it when I'm right. 97 00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:05,858 I mean, what is it about guys that makes 'em wanna screw anything that walks, 98 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:09,151 even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? 99 00:07:09,408 --> 00:07:11,997 I mean, she's only the single most fabulous thing walking around New York. 100 00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:13,035 Thanks, Young. 101 00:07:13,036 --> 00:07:15,746 Are you kidding? Of course I'm gonna run it. 102 00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:18,951 Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat? 103 00:07:19,362 --> 00:07:21,241 Even if he is... gorgeous. 104 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,170 Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat, 105 00:07:23,171 --> 00:07:25,657 then the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught. 106 00:07:26,098 --> 00:07:28,162 Exactly. I'm in the elevator. I'll see you in a minute. 107 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,628 Good morning. How are you? 108 00:07:30,957 --> 00:07:32,291 Bitter, party of one. 109 00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:35,299 Hey, you should try it sometime. 110 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:38,797 Barbados by myself? I wouldn't last five minutes. 111 00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:40,300 It was just what the doctor ordered. 112 00:07:40,301 --> 00:07:44,221 I slept in, I did my yoga, I read a couple of books, 113 00:07:44,222 --> 00:07:46,103 I flirted with my scuba instructor... 114 00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:49,187 - And apparently never left the office. - I know, isn't that great? 115 00:07:49,188 --> 00:07:51,021 You should've taken someone with you. 116 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,742 Who? Who am I gonna take with me? 117 00:07:53,743 --> 00:07:56,041 This is where a boyfriend comes in handy. 118 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,910 - I don't have time for a boyfriend. - You said that two years ago. 119 00:08:00,754 --> 00:08:03,864 Yes, and it's as true today as it was then. 120 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:04,675 - Hey! - Hey. 121 00:08:04,675 --> 00:08:05,501 I thought you were on vacation. 122 00:08:05,788 --> 00:08:08,452 See if these are in focus, will you, and have them in my desk in an hour? 123 00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:09,376 Cool. 124 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:11,455 Besides, relationships are for people... 125 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,876 that are just waiting for something better to come along. 126 00:08:13,877 --> 00:08:16,457 Ah, spoken like a true cynic. 127 00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:18,522 I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist. 128 00:08:18,523 --> 00:08:23,028 You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. 129 00:08:23,029 --> 00:08:25,483 What are you doing here? What is she doing here? 130 00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:27,183 She works here, remember? 131 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:30,139 No, she doesn't. Not for another four days. 132 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,359 - Well, this couldn't wait. - Oh, course it could. 133 00:08:32,498 --> 00:08:33,772 What are you doing? Go back to the beach. 134 00:08:33,773 --> 00:08:37,112 - I don't want you here. - Oh, no, really, you do. 135 00:08:37,113 --> 00:08:40,446 You are becoming a-a sick, workaholic lunatic 136 00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:41,871 and this is exactly... 137 00:08:42,112 --> 00:08:45,913 the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior that leads to... 138 00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:49,050 Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette. 139 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:52,336 A very, very big raise. 140 00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:55,874 Jesus! You could find dirt in a snowstorm. 141 00:08:56,539 --> 00:08:57,753 Comes with the job. 142 00:08:58,127 --> 00:09:02,591 You know, kiddo, there is more to life than watching other people live it. 143 00:09:03,306 --> 00:09:05,676 Can I help he was cheating on my beach? 144 00:09:05,677 --> 00:09:08,304 Hey, I think that it's great that you're so good at your job. 145 00:09:08,305 --> 00:09:10,771 I'm just a little worried as to why. 146 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:14,060 Let me worry about that. 147 00:09:14,816 --> 00:09:17,739 Okay. I want that column on my desk by lunch. 148 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,324 Does that mean you're gonna pay for my hotel? 149 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,861 For you to sip mai tais? I don't think so. Get out. 150 00:09:35,585 --> 00:09:36,921 - Oh, come on! - What? 151 00:09:36,922 --> 00:09:38,253 - That's good, right? - No. 152 00:09:38,502 --> 00:09:40,040 No, it was in and it freaked out. 153 00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:44,299 You know what your problem is, Hitch? You're all about the short game. 154 00:09:46,104 --> 00:09:48,852 You pick your shots based on what you see first... 155 00:09:49,808 --> 00:09:52,683 not what's, uh, necessarily best for you... 156 00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:55,369 in the long run. 157 00:09:55,693 --> 00:10:00,563 Well... All of us are not married to the woman of our dreams and about to have a baby. 158 00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:04,278 You know, I'm very happy for you. Just not meant for everybody. 159 00:10:04,565 --> 00:10:07,487 So, please, just leave me to my hot, sweaty, 160 00:10:07,488 --> 00:10:11,076 totally varied, wildly experimental short game. 161 00:10:11,784 --> 00:10:13,872 I was just talking about pool, but, you know, whatever. 162 00:10:13,873 --> 00:10:15,227 Yeah, okay. 163 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,798 Honestly, I just hope one day you're able to experience 164 00:10:17,799 --> 00:10:21,762 the unconditional love, and the trust, and the openness that... 165 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,714 you know, I share with Grace every single day. 166 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:27,474 - Is-is this really barroom talk? - No, you need to listen to me, man. I'm serious. 167 00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:29,761 Because when you... get to a place with a woman like that, 168 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,559 it's so beyond anything physical... 169 00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:34,186 that when I think back to when I used to run around with you 170 00:10:34,187 --> 00:10:37,910 and chase all these really gorgeous but, you know, shallow women and... 171 00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:43,395 I don't know, it's... it's kind of ridiculous and vaguely... pathetic. 172 00:10:50,602 --> 00:10:53,706 Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic. 173 00:10:54,509 --> 00:10:56,675 - That... that's pathetic. - Uh-huh. 174 00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,083 So, how'd you meet 'im? 175 00:10:59,334 --> 00:11:02,252 I was in La Perla, you know, just buying some weekend thongs. 176 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:05,003 - And he was doing likewise? - No. 177 00:11:05,685 --> 00:11:08,306 Well, yeah. Actually, he said he was buying somethin' for his mom. 178 00:11:08,466 --> 00:11:09,631 - His mom? - Mm-hm. 179 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:12,516 Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother? 180 00:11:12,517 --> 00:11:14,389 Oh, well, maybe he was looking for a robe. 181 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:19,143 Casey... Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman. 182 00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:24,563 - Well... I prefer the mother story. - I know you prefer, but that's not the point. 183 00:11:24,564 --> 00:11:27,614 No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar. 184 00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:30,127 - Why not? - Because that's how you wind up... 185 00:11:31,787 --> 00:11:33,574 Like me? Is that what you were gonna say? 186 00:11:33,871 --> 00:11:36,701 No. I was gonna say "Like you." 187 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,130 - What's his name? - Why? 188 00:11:39,551 --> 00:11:41,797 - I'm gonna Google 'im. - No. Google your own guy. 189 00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,637 Let's just see if his mother's still alive. 190 00:11:43,638 --> 00:11:46,882 - So when is Grace due again? - Soon. 191 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,642 - You excited? - What'd you say? 192 00:11:50,429 --> 00:11:52,104 Do you want me to go get them and bring them over here? 193 00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:54,091 No. No, no, no, no, don't-don't-don't do that. 194 00:11:54,092 --> 00:11:56,381 Whoa! Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them 195 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,028 because you can't go home with 'em? 196 00:11:58,029 --> 00:12:00,567 Hey, what do you want from me? I'm just trying to keep my head above water. 197 00:12:00,568 --> 00:12:02,783 Hey, did you ever hear of this guy they call the Date Doctor? 198 00:12:02,784 --> 00:12:03,356 Urban myth. 199 00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:04,733 - Really? - Absolutely. 200 00:12:04,813 --> 00:12:06,536 I was kinda hoping he also helped women. 201 00:12:06,537 --> 00:12:09,652 Casey, you're not sick. You're single. 202 00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:12,238 You just have to relax and enjoy the ride. 203 00:12:12,239 --> 00:12:14,296 I haven't been ridden in months. 204 00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:22,709 On that happy note, I'm gonna go see if anybody interesting came in tonight. 205 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,132 - Oh, you mean, besides me. - Right. 206 00:12:25,864 --> 00:12:26,258 Bye. 207 00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:28,341 I'm gonna go get those girls, I'm gonna bring them over here 208 00:12:28,342 --> 00:12:31,396 and we're gonna have a conversation like human beings. 209 00:12:31,524 --> 00:12:34,900 Then you're gonna home, and I'm gonna take 'em back to my apartment. 210 00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:39,847 Well, that sounds like fun for me. But, you know, you might wanna get in line, pal. 211 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,151 - Hey, girl. Hey. - Hey, how are you? 212 00:12:44,775 --> 00:12:48,614 Hey, uh, baby, can I get a couple Coronas over at the pool table, please? Thanks. 213 00:12:49,221 --> 00:12:50,706 Excuse me. 214 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,735 - Excuse me. - Lime wedges in the bottle's fine. 215 00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:57,046 Hey, asshole, I don't work here. 216 00:12:59,535 --> 00:13:04,545 Wow. Oh... I'm sorry. You, um... The paramedics are gonna have 217 00:13:04,546 --> 00:13:06,474 to come to get my foot outta my mouth, sweetheart. 218 00:13:06,475 --> 00:13:08,421 Just don't let it happen again. 219 00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:11,632 - I knew you didn't work here. - You did? 220 00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:14,760 Well, how else was I supposed to get you away from all those guys? 221 00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:18,013 Why would you wanna do that? 222 00:13:18,984 --> 00:13:22,277 Some guys naturally develop a comfort with the opposite sex. 223 00:13:22,278 --> 00:13:25,895 They like women, women like them. Everything flows naturally. 224 00:13:27,152 --> 00:13:31,028 Back in college, I was just not one of 'em. 225 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,670 I seemed to lack the basic understanding 226 00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:40,709 that my peers just intuitively grasped. 227 00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:45,391 But like any late bloomer, I was eager to make up for lost time. 228 00:13:48,385 --> 00:13:51,344 Her name... was Cressida Baylor. 229 00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,322 Can you tell me where the registration building is? 230 00:13:55,805 --> 00:13:56,468 Yeah. 231 00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,406 And my life would never be the same. 232 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,192 - I'm Alex. - Cressida. 233 00:14:07,436 --> 00:14:09,898 What we had was beautiful. 234 00:14:15,707 --> 00:14:16,823 I love you. 235 00:14:19,878 --> 00:14:21,845 I love... I love so much. 236 00:14:22,681 --> 00:14:24,415 I-I love you, too, Alex. 237 00:14:30,889 --> 00:14:33,447 I know you don't love me as much as I love you. 238 00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:37,547 I mean, but that's okay. I... I'm just glad you love me at all. 239 00:14:37,548 --> 00:14:41,318 In retrospect, I guess I may have come on a little strong. 240 00:14:45,529 --> 00:14:47,766 But the experience taught me a lot. 241 00:14:48,073 --> 00:14:49,162 Cressida! 242 00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:54,061 What are you doin'? 243 00:14:55,046 --> 00:14:56,029 I'm-I'm sorry, Alex. 244 00:14:56,030 --> 00:15:00,264 But I love you. I love you. What just... What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong. 245 00:15:00,265 --> 00:15:02,445 Dude, you're doin' it right now. 246 00:15:02,446 --> 00:15:03,507 Cressida! 247 00:15:04,222 --> 00:15:05,493 Alex, I'm sorry. 248 00:15:09,427 --> 00:15:13,462 And it's an education I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men. 249 00:15:17,431 --> 00:15:21,666 Because with no guile and no game, there's no girl. 250 00:15:22,848 --> 00:15:25,153 And if ever there was a man born without game, 251 00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:28,228 it was Albert Brennaman. 252 00:15:53,872 --> 00:15:58,637 My business is 100% referral and, thus far, untraceable. 253 00:15:58,777 --> 00:16:00,231 And if there's one thing I've learned 254 00:16:00,232 --> 00:16:03,679 when you orchestrate, coordinate, and otherwise mess with fate... 255 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,438 it's best to fly under the radar. 256 00:16:45,123 --> 00:16:47,432 I hope she's single cause I don't do break-ups. 257 00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:48,112 - Hi. - Hey. 258 00:16:48,113 --> 00:16:49,349 Thank you for seeing me. 259 00:16:49,557 --> 00:16:52,895 Uh, yeah, no. I mean, uh, she just got out of a relationship. 260 00:16:53,632 --> 00:16:56,398 Is that a problem? Because... if it is, that's fine. I'm... 261 00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:58,772 I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway, you know what I mean. 262 00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:03,237 Definitely... been hurt a lot. You know, I had a lot o' bad experiences. 263 00:17:03,238 --> 00:17:05,912 Some good ones. You know? But definitely a lot of bad ones and, uh... 264 00:17:07,712 --> 00:17:11,704 I'm desperate. Basically. I mean, not in general, you understand? 265 00:17:11,705 --> 00:17:15,790 You know, not just for anybody. But, man, for her... Yeah. I.. I... yeah. Yeah. 266 00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:17,419 Why don't you tell me about 'er? 267 00:17:19,508 --> 00:17:21,048 Oh, well, let's see, what can I say? 268 00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:25,044 My company handles her finances. I'm her tax consultant. 269 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:28,764 Well, I'm one of 'em. I'm the junior man on the account. 270 00:17:29,701 --> 00:17:32,116 - So, does she know you're interested? - Oh, no, no, no. 271 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,025 No. 272 00:17:36,307 --> 00:17:37,320 Alive? 273 00:17:38,543 --> 00:17:40,101 I lent her my pen once. 274 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,983 Shoot. Does anyone have a pen? 275 00:17:41,984 --> 00:17:46,212 - Here, take mine. - Albert, you're crushing my arm. 276 00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:47,784 Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra. 277 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,829 Allegra? As in Allegra Cole? 278 00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:57,663 Yeah, you know, I realize that I'm not her usual type. 279 00:17:57,664 --> 00:18:01,508 Well, her last boyfriend like owned Sweden or something. 280 00:18:01,509 --> 00:18:02,924 And that guy was a bum. I-I... 281 00:18:03,735 --> 00:18:06,132 He just... he didn't seem like a very nice person to me. 282 00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:09,555 You swing for the fence. 283 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,973 Hey, look, look, look, look, look. You don't think I tried talking myself out of this? 284 00:18:12,974 --> 00:18:17,061 I mean, you don't think I know how ridiculous this is? I-I know, okay? 285 00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,767 I just thought that maybe, uh, with your... help I just... 286 00:18:23,021 --> 00:18:26,943 You know what? I'm really sorry I... wasted your time. 287 00:18:38,436 --> 00:18:39,974 Hold on a second, Albert. 288 00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:46,894 You know what it's like... getting up every morning, feeling hopeless? 289 00:18:47,345 --> 00:18:50,519 Feeling like the love o' your life is waking up with the wrong man? 290 00:18:50,949 --> 00:18:55,061 But at the same time, hoping that... she still finds happiness... 291 00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:57,987 even if it's never gonna be with you? 292 00:19:00,558 --> 00:19:03,160 You... are flat-out... 293 00:19:04,229 --> 00:19:07,315 out o' your mind. You know that? 294 00:19:07,661 --> 00:19:08,696 Yeah. 295 00:19:11,089 --> 00:19:14,385 - That's good. - It is? 296 00:19:15,974 --> 00:19:17,539 You ever heard of Michelangelo? 297 00:19:17,755 --> 00:19:19,625 - Yeah. - Heard of the Sistine Chapel? 298 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:20,417 Yeah... 299 00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,181 Michelangelo. 300 00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:25,923 Sistine Chapel. 301 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,847 You saying you can do this? 302 00:19:27,848 --> 00:19:31,304 My name is Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling. 303 00:20:01,352 --> 00:20:02,376 Take it easy. 304 00:20:04,189 --> 00:20:05,173 Oh, my God! 305 00:20:05,878 --> 00:20:06,420 Oh, God! 306 00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:53,761 Well, it looks like I'm still rich. 307 00:20:57,675 --> 00:21:01,689 But what I would really like, and what I was wondering... is... 308 00:21:03,314 --> 00:21:07,332 if I could have 500,000 dollars... to invest on my own. 309 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:13,483 Oh... And what were you thinking of investing in, Allegra? 310 00:21:14,993 --> 00:21:19,955 Well, it's... something that I really have a passion for. 311 00:21:25,664 --> 00:21:28,044 Daydreams are for private time. 312 00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:30,210 When you're in the room, be in the room. 313 00:21:30,211 --> 00:21:34,048 Concentrate. Focus. Women respond when you respond to them. 314 00:21:34,049 --> 00:21:37,097 My friend Maggie is a really talented designer. 315 00:21:37,849 --> 00:21:42,149 I've seen the business plan and the samples look fantastic. 316 00:21:43,058 --> 00:21:47,395 And I would really... really like to get involved. 317 00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:53,070 I'll tell you what. 318 00:21:53,532 --> 00:21:58,206 Let us come up with a range of investments that we think you might be interested in... 319 00:21:58,536 --> 00:22:02,707 and next month, we'll run the whole lot of them by you. Hm? 320 00:22:05,118 --> 00:22:08,678 - Okay. - Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen. 321 00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:11,769 Let's go over this one more time. What is the objective? 322 00:22:12,116 --> 00:22:13,266 Shock and awe. 323 00:22:13,267 --> 00:22:16,421 That was shockingly awful. What is the objective? 324 00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:17,596 Shock and awe. 325 00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:20,304 What is the objective? 326 00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:23,933 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes, Albert? 327 00:22:27,902 --> 00:22:29,808 Yes... Albert? 328 00:22:31,402 --> 00:22:34,943 I don't, uh-uh, really agree... with that. Um... 329 00:22:34,944 --> 00:22:37,161 You don't really agree with what? 330 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:46,752 I think if you wanna invest half a million dollars in your friend's business... 331 00:22:47,539 --> 00:22:49,423 - that's exactly what you should do. - Albert! 332 00:22:49,424 --> 00:22:51,751 No... You-you don't need us to tell you what to do. 333 00:22:52,156 --> 00:22:54,979 We're a board of advisors, we're not your kindergarten teachers. 334 00:22:55,326 --> 00:22:57,294 If you wanna be taken seriously as an adult... 335 00:22:57,662 --> 00:22:59,758 I suggest you start taking yourself seriously as an adult 336 00:22:59,759 --> 00:23:02,722 instead... of asking for permission to invest your own money 337 00:23:02,723 --> 00:23:05,515 from a boardroom full of your... daddy's golf buddies. 338 00:23:05,516 --> 00:23:07,565 - That's quite enough! - You know, I'm not finished. 339 00:23:07,571 --> 00:23:11,781 I mean, I'd like to see anybody in this room handle the attention and publicity... 340 00:23:12,276 --> 00:23:15,237 that she's had to deal with her whole life, with half her class. 341 00:23:18,084 --> 00:23:22,158 We should be taking advice from you, Miss Cole. Not the other way around. 342 00:23:22,159 --> 00:23:24,451 - Sit down, mister... - No! You know what? I quit! 343 00:23:35,627 --> 00:23:36,710 Oh, my God! 344 00:23:47,145 --> 00:23:49,519 Just breathe. Just breathe. How'd it go? 345 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,828 I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss! I quit my job! 346 00:23:54,052 --> 00:23:55,286 - What? - You said... 347 00:23:56,187 --> 00:23:57,964 - I gotta go back. - No, I didn't tell you to quit. 348 00:23:58,110 --> 00:24:00,611 Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine, we're fine. Okay? 349 00:24:00,725 --> 00:24:02,647 - Would you let me go? - Albert, no, no! 350 00:24:04,562 --> 00:24:07,454 Just relax! Okay? 351 00:24:07,711 --> 00:24:10,972 - Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me. - No! 352 00:24:21,646 --> 00:24:23,340 Relax. Relax. 353 00:24:23,815 --> 00:24:25,764 - It's Allegra Cole. - Answer it. 354 00:24:26,050 --> 00:24:28,563 - Could I speak to you a second? - Answer the door, Albert. 355 00:24:33,821 --> 00:24:34,897 Yes. Hi. 356 00:24:36,094 --> 00:24:37,148 What's up? 357 00:24:37,703 --> 00:24:39,068 Listen... Albert, right? 358 00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:45,502 - People... don't usually talk to me like that. Okay? - Close your mouth, man. 359 00:24:45,603 --> 00:24:51,290 Let me... rephrase that. People never talk to me like that. 360 00:24:52,777 --> 00:24:53,752 - Stand up. - Mm-hm. 361 00:24:53,753 --> 00:24:56,461 I guess it's kind of scary for them. 362 00:24:57,464 --> 00:25:01,355 But that's why I really appreciate what you did in there. 363 00:25:02,764 --> 00:25:04,508 But I was wondering, um... 364 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,597 do you think that you and I could... get together sometime this week? 365 00:25:11,262 --> 00:25:13,819 You know, to go over things... 366 00:25:14,899 --> 00:25:16,108 Financial things. 367 00:25:16,539 --> 00:25:20,526 You see, I'd-I'd like to see the areas where I can afford to take some risks. 368 00:25:20,527 --> 00:25:22,070 - Check your schedule. - Let me check my schedule. 369 00:25:23,474 --> 00:25:26,162 Great. Let me give you my number. Do you have a pen? 370 00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:28,793 I don't... think I have one. 371 00:25:34,152 --> 00:25:35,875 - Yes, I do. - Great. 372 00:25:47,810 --> 00:25:49,929 And... call me Allegra. 373 00:25:52,436 --> 00:25:55,275 - You're done. - Goodbye. 374 00:25:58,976 --> 00:25:59,868 Good job. 375 00:26:01,151 --> 00:26:04,195 Albert... Oh, damn. 376 00:26:25,593 --> 00:26:29,720 She's some kinda newspaper columnist. Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper. 377 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:30,772 What's 'er drink? 378 00:26:31,019 --> 00:26:34,608 Usually beer. Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty. 379 00:26:44,951 --> 00:26:45,527 Hi. 380 00:26:47,925 --> 00:26:49,334 I noticed your glass was getting a little low, 381 00:26:49,335 --> 00:26:52,197 so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini. 382 00:26:52,198 --> 00:26:52,913 Thank you. 383 00:26:53,243 --> 00:26:57,421 And I couldn't help but notice you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 384 00:26:58,469 --> 00:27:00,627 - What's your name? - They call me Chip. 385 00:27:01,105 --> 00:27:02,920 Ah, you can't get 'em to stop? 386 00:27:04,442 --> 00:27:05,137 That was funny. 387 00:27:05,468 --> 00:27:08,796 Listen, Chip, I-I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room 388 00:27:08,797 --> 00:27:11,138 and try to generate a relationship outta thin air. 389 00:27:11,263 --> 00:27:15,723 - So, don't take the following personally. - You have fantastic eyes. 390 00:27:17,073 --> 00:27:18,853 Thanks. Try to listen. 391 00:27:18,854 --> 00:27:23,148 A'ight... This is no reflection on you. I'm just not interested. 392 00:27:23,561 --> 00:27:25,695 But thank you for the compliment of coming over. 393 00:27:25,696 --> 00:27:28,664 You welcome. So, do you like Cuban food? 394 00:27:29,573 --> 00:27:33,328 Chip, seriously, that was not code for... "I wish you'd try harder". 395 00:27:33,633 --> 00:27:37,386 Are you always so shut-down.. and afraid that the right man might make you... 396 00:27:37,387 --> 00:27:39,577 Feel like a natural woman? 397 00:27:40,978 --> 00:27:43,507 Sorry I'm late, honey. I couldn't get a cab. Uh, how was the meeting? 398 00:27:44,004 --> 00:27:47,714 Ooh, well, there was a-a beginning, a middle, and an end. 399 00:27:48,419 --> 00:27:49,691 Nice to meet you, Chip. 400 00:27:55,693 --> 00:27:56,766 You, too. 401 00:28:00,224 --> 00:28:02,328 Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man 402 00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:05,196 to even speak to someone who looks like you. 403 00:28:05,197 --> 00:28:08,084 But, on the other hand, should that be your problem? 404 00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:10,704 So, life's kinda hard all around. 405 00:28:12,176 --> 00:28:13,951 No, not if you pay attention. 406 00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:17,749 I mean, you're sendin' all the right signals: 407 00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:21,542 No earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, 408 00:28:21,543 --> 00:28:25,460 you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, 409 00:28:25,461 --> 00:28:28,676 which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. 410 00:28:28,677 --> 00:28:29,839 And if that wasn't clear enough, 411 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,180 there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. 412 00:28:34,861 --> 00:28:36,521 Because who's gonna believe that there's a man out there 413 00:28:36,522 --> 00:28:38,696 that can sit beside a woman he doesn't know 414 00:28:38,697 --> 00:28:42,997 and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own agenda? 415 00:28:43,269 --> 00:28:45,863 Yeah. I wouldn't even know what that would look like. 416 00:28:46,230 --> 00:28:48,240 So, what would a guy like that say? 417 00:28:48,241 --> 00:28:52,030 Well, he'd say "My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant." 418 00:28:52,281 --> 00:28:53,530 But she wouldn't be interested in that 419 00:28:53,531 --> 00:28:56,370 cause she'd probably be just counting the seconds until he left. 420 00:28:56,371 --> 00:28:59,079 Thinking he was like every other guy. 421 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,126 Which, life experience has taught 'er, is a virtual certainty. 422 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,208 But then he'd ask her name and what she did for a living 423 00:29:05,378 --> 00:29:07,003 and she might blow 'im off. 424 00:29:07,919 --> 00:29:09,136 Or she might say... 425 00:29:14,261 --> 00:29:18,061 "I'm Sara Melas. I run the gossip column at the Standard." 426 00:29:18,442 --> 00:29:21,015 And then he'd ask all these penetrating questions about her, 427 00:29:21,016 --> 00:29:24,606 because he was sincerely, if atypically, interested. 428 00:29:24,849 --> 00:29:25,479 No. 429 00:29:26,283 --> 00:29:28,542 - No? - He'd be interested. 430 00:29:30,121 --> 00:29:32,170 But... he'd see that there was no way 431 00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:35,711 he could possibly make her realize that he was for real. 432 00:29:36,327 --> 00:29:41,304 Well, he could be funny and charming and refreshingly original. 433 00:29:42,299 --> 00:29:42,874 Wouldn't help. 434 00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:46,329 - Don't you hate it when that happens? - Not really. 435 00:29:47,138 --> 00:29:50,421 They'd both probably go on to lead the lives they were headed toward and... 436 00:29:50,641 --> 00:29:53,847 My guess is... they'd do just fine. 437 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,612 It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas. 438 00:30:03,988 --> 00:30:06,934 Grey Goose martini from the gentleman who just left. 439 00:30:12,830 --> 00:30:13,419 Is that for me? 440 00:30:17,234 --> 00:30:18,082 What? 441 00:30:33,651 --> 00:30:35,642 Vance Munson. Sorry I'm late. 442 00:30:36,677 --> 00:30:39,638 Oh, no. Uh, not a problem. 443 00:30:41,025 --> 00:30:42,471 Wow, you're-you're the... 444 00:30:43,761 --> 00:30:46,853 - Can I get you something to drink, Mr... - Uh, no, no, I'm-I'm fine, thank you. 445 00:30:47,598 --> 00:30:48,763 So, tell me about 'er. 446 00:30:51,936 --> 00:30:53,327 Have you ever met someone... 447 00:30:53,737 --> 00:30:56,110 and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? 448 00:30:56,448 --> 00:30:59,623 Not just because of her looks, but, you know, that X factor... 449 00:31:01,111 --> 00:31:02,081 How'd you meet 'er? 450 00:31:02,631 --> 00:31:05,707 Uh, actually, I was in a shop buying pyjamas for my mom. 451 00:31:05,909 --> 00:31:07,749 And by that, of course, you mean... 452 00:31:08,252 --> 00:31:10,673 you were buying lingerie for another woman. 453 00:31:12,377 --> 00:31:16,090 Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. 454 00:31:16,894 --> 00:31:19,547 And the... the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing, so... 455 00:31:19,563 --> 00:31:22,055 But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... 456 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:24,907 she's so sweet, funny, southern... 457 00:31:25,402 --> 00:31:28,101 She gives me her number. Now... she won't return my phone calls. 458 00:31:28,102 --> 00:31:31,990 I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her outta my mind. 459 00:31:32,376 --> 00:31:36,068 You know, food has lost its taste. Colors, you know, they seem dull and... 460 00:31:36,279 --> 00:31:39,661 Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. 461 00:31:40,417 --> 00:31:42,704 I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... 462 00:31:45,289 --> 00:31:46,661 Unless I bang 'er. 463 00:31:49,226 --> 00:31:50,345 Excuse me? 464 00:31:52,329 --> 00:31:55,223 You know, bang 'er. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out. 465 00:31:58,569 --> 00:32:01,552 I think you may have misunderstood what I do exactly. 466 00:32:01,553 --> 00:32:04,258 No, I was told you help guys get in there. 467 00:32:04,472 --> 00:32:06,449 Right. But, see, here's the thing. 468 00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:10,181 My clients actually like women. 469 00:32:12,829 --> 00:32:15,119 Uh, yeah, hit-hit it and quit it is-is not my thing. 470 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:19,235 Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi. I need professional help. 471 00:32:19,236 --> 00:32:22,290 Well, that is for damn certain. 472 00:32:22,826 --> 00:32:26,368 And I'm glad you can admit it because generally that's the hardest part. 473 00:32:30,334 --> 00:32:32,831 You see what I'm doin'? This is what I'm about. 474 00:32:34,371 --> 00:32:36,220 Power suit, power tie, power steering. 475 00:32:36,221 --> 00:32:39,882 People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want. 476 00:32:41,176 --> 00:32:44,179 Oh... So, that's, like, a metaphor. 477 00:32:45,971 --> 00:32:46,764 Oh, yeah. 478 00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:49,742 Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kinda guy. 479 00:32:50,354 --> 00:32:51,309 So, when I do this... 480 00:32:54,191 --> 00:32:58,148 this is more like me sayin' that I will literally break your shit off 481 00:32:58,149 --> 00:33:01,196 if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin? 482 00:33:01,532 --> 00:33:02,316 Got it. 483 00:33:10,808 --> 00:33:12,306 No. No! 484 00:33:12,876 --> 00:33:16,227 Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant. Somebody has to eat there. 485 00:33:17,247 --> 00:33:19,939 No, somebody famous. You know that. 486 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:21,580 - Sara Melas? - No, no, no, no, no. 487 00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:24,644 Okay. Bye. 488 00:33:26,690 --> 00:33:27,773 I need your signature. 489 00:33:42,669 --> 00:33:47,206 I... hate it when a guy calls a girl who did not give him her number. 490 00:33:47,369 --> 00:33:49,368 So, this is me not calling. Over. 491 00:33:49,707 --> 00:33:52,621 Yes, you're right. This is much less invasive. 492 00:33:53,048 --> 00:33:55,421 Listen, I've been thinkin' about that sign on your forehead. 493 00:33:55,626 --> 00:33:59,424 And I was wondering if you'd mind taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over. 494 00:34:00,549 --> 00:34:03,925 Ooh, I can't. I have a couple parties I have to hit. 495 00:34:04,511 --> 00:34:06,053 Uh, gossip never sleeps. 496 00:34:06,764 --> 00:34:08,512 Not till about 4:00 a.m. 497 00:34:09,266 --> 00:34:10,057 Saturday. 498 00:34:13,310 --> 00:34:14,931 I, um, I have a date. 499 00:34:16,349 --> 00:34:18,992 Do you know the definition of "perseverance", Miss Melas? 500 00:34:19,610 --> 00:34:21,438 An excuse to be obnoxious? 501 00:34:21,879 --> 00:34:23,485 Continuing in a course of action 502 00:34:23,486 --> 00:34:27,611 without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure. Over. 503 00:34:28,619 --> 00:34:30,317 Okay, Webster, how do I get rid o' you? 504 00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:33,587 Breakfast, Sunday. And you can barely even call that a date. 505 00:34:33,588 --> 00:34:37,340 You do that with out-of-town relatives that you don't even like. Over. 506 00:34:41,799 --> 00:34:42,958 Come on. 507 00:34:45,569 --> 00:34:47,513 Okay, I guess I could do Sunday. 508 00:34:48,505 --> 00:34:50,570 You forgot to say "over". Over. 509 00:34:51,341 --> 00:34:54,267 This conversation's over as soon as you tell me when and where. 510 00:34:54,511 --> 00:34:57,348 7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina. Over and out. 511 00:34:57,610 --> 00:35:01,729 7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy? I-I-I don't do 7:00 a.m. 512 00:35:03,787 --> 00:35:05,028 - Hello? - Sign here. 513 00:35:05,446 --> 00:35:06,907 - What? - You said Sunday, right? 514 00:35:06,908 --> 00:35:07,700 Yeah. 515 00:35:11,428 --> 00:35:12,660 What if I would have said Friday? 516 00:35:13,997 --> 00:35:14,969 Sunday? 517 00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:21,464 So, I guess you're not going to church. 518 00:35:34,985 --> 00:35:37,160 Do you really expect me to wear this? 519 00:35:39,223 --> 00:35:41,107 It'll be awful cold out there without it. 520 00:35:41,859 --> 00:35:44,440 - Good morning. - "Good" would have been at 10:00. 521 00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:51,330 You're a lot taller than I remember. 522 00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:53,040 You ever ride one o' these? 523 00:35:53,699 --> 00:35:54,834 Not on the Hudson. 524 00:35:55,672 --> 00:35:58,208 So, what do you wanna do? Race me around the Statue of Liberty? 525 00:35:58,209 --> 00:35:59,528 If there's time. 526 00:36:00,878 --> 00:36:03,003 - But you might need these. - All right. 527 00:36:03,331 --> 00:36:04,796 - Bam. - Wow. 528 00:36:06,216 --> 00:36:07,388 How do I look? 529 00:36:08,986 --> 00:36:09,962 Fabulous. 530 00:36:12,089 --> 00:36:13,563 All right, I give. 531 00:36:14,430 --> 00:36:15,681 Where do I change? 532 00:36:17,261 --> 00:36:21,611 So, we'll go out past the wall, take a left... It is pretty much a straight shot from there. 533 00:36:21,774 --> 00:36:25,115 - Straight shot to where? - That's for me to know and you to find out. 534 00:36:25,369 --> 00:36:26,649 So, look, what you do with these babies is... 535 00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:29,737 Yeah, what I do with this baby is kick your ass. 536 00:37:41,545 --> 00:37:44,149 - What happened? You change your mind? - It just died. 537 00:37:46,116 --> 00:37:47,610 Did you put gas in it? 538 00:37:48,191 --> 00:37:51,945 Yeah, no. Um, you know, I think it must have sucked up a diaper or somethin'. 539 00:37:52,159 --> 00:37:54,857 Gross. Try it again. 540 00:37:58,662 --> 00:37:59,964 You want me to call AAA? 541 00:37:59,965 --> 00:38:02,453 Come on around and let me hop over too. 542 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,328 I don't know. What if you break mine, too? Then we'll both be sitting ducks. 543 00:38:06,329 --> 00:38:10,500 - I didn't break it. It just died. - Yeah, yeah. 544 00:38:10,641 --> 00:38:11,798 All right, hop on. 545 00:38:14,097 --> 00:38:16,718 - Uh, scoot back. - Hitch, I'm already here. 546 00:38:17,511 --> 00:38:18,967 Oh, yeah, but you don't know where we're goin'. 547 00:38:19,261 --> 00:38:21,902 Well, why don't you tell me? And then we'll both know. 548 00:38:21,903 --> 00:38:23,268 Sara... 549 00:38:24,854 --> 00:38:26,615 Man, male egos. 550 00:38:26,723 --> 00:38:28,977 I don't know how you guys make it through the day with them. 551 00:38:28,978 --> 00:38:31,357 What? It is not my ego. 552 00:38:31,566 --> 00:38:33,735 I just... I don't wanna ruin the surprise. 553 00:38:37,908 --> 00:38:39,992 Sara! Sara! 554 00:38:44,741 --> 00:38:46,416 I'm sorry. Are you all right? 555 00:38:49,613 --> 00:38:52,460 There. I always keep a few of those around. 556 00:38:52,461 --> 00:38:53,296 Thank you. 557 00:38:53,297 --> 00:38:57,427 I have lower back trouble. I just shove the ice packs right down there. 558 00:38:58,069 --> 00:39:00,188 Oh, no, no, no, no. That's a fresh one. 559 00:39:02,125 --> 00:39:03,820 So, Ellis Island. 560 00:39:04,094 --> 00:39:07,516 I have to admit, I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never been here. 561 00:39:07,517 --> 00:39:09,525 Yeah, I figured that. Most people haven't. 562 00:39:09,526 --> 00:39:12,246 So I got my man Larry here to set us up a private tour. 563 00:39:12,411 --> 00:39:14,694 - Oh, great! - Anything for Hitch. 564 00:39:16,287 --> 00:39:19,281 It was originally known as Oyster Island. 565 00:39:19,282 --> 00:39:21,986 The island was expanded to its present size 566 00:39:21,987 --> 00:39:26,449 with dirt removed during the construction of the New York subway system. 567 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,709 - Are you serious? - Yes. 568 00:39:28,710 --> 00:39:29,752 Did you know this? 569 00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:32,170 Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's-that's why I brought you here. 570 00:39:32,171 --> 00:39:36,791 In fact, over 100 million Americans can trace their ancestry 571 00:39:37,096 --> 00:39:41,100 back to a single man, woman, or child on the ship's manifest... 572 00:39:41,271 --> 00:39:43,139 to an inspector's ledger. 573 00:39:43,891 --> 00:39:48,728 By 1910, 75% of the residents of New York, 574 00:39:48,990 --> 00:39:52,571 Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston 575 00:39:52,676 --> 00:39:54,774 were immigrants, or the children of immigrants. 576 00:39:55,317 --> 00:39:58,527 They generally lived in the poorest sections of the cities, 577 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,540 in Little Italys, Chinatowns and other ethnic enclaves. 578 00:40:03,660 --> 00:40:05,368 It's called "The Kissing Post". 579 00:40:06,245 --> 00:40:10,418 The plaque explains how different cultures kiss after long absences. 580 00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:15,170 Now, what exactly would qualify as a long absence? 581 00:40:15,585 --> 00:40:16,431 I mean... 582 00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:20,267 - That count? - No. 583 00:40:23,874 --> 00:40:28,024 I, uh... I actually had... a relative come through here. 584 00:40:28,688 --> 00:40:29,892 - Really? - Yeah. 585 00:40:32,326 --> 00:40:33,115 What? 586 00:40:34,484 --> 00:40:37,666 - What? - What... was that thing? 587 00:40:38,696 --> 00:40:41,862 No, uh... You know, I was just thinkin' that, uh... 588 00:40:42,726 --> 00:40:46,368 you can't really know where you're goin' until you know where you been. 589 00:40:46,621 --> 00:40:49,042 - Ain't that right, Larry? - Amen, brother. 590 00:40:49,629 --> 00:40:52,041 Kinda deep for a first date, don't you think? 591 00:40:56,807 --> 00:40:58,171 What is that? 592 00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:18,524 Oh, my God! 593 00:41:25,168 --> 00:41:29,596 That's my great-great-grandfather. That... that's his signature. I... I mean... 594 00:41:30,006 --> 00:41:31,971 Jesus, it's right here! 595 00:41:35,011 --> 00:41:36,798 How did you... how did you know? 596 00:41:38,014 --> 00:41:40,556 Hitch did the search. I just found the page. 597 00:42:04,574 --> 00:42:05,939 I'm sorry. 598 00:42:15,254 --> 00:42:18,222 I saw that... goin' differently in my mind. 599 00:42:20,836 --> 00:42:25,096 So, my family never saw 'im again. Well, except for on the Wanted posters. 600 00:42:25,599 --> 00:42:27,843 Look, I'm... I'm really sorry. 601 00:42:28,765 --> 00:42:33,310 When I saw it on the computer, it said "the Butcher of Cadiz". You know, what, uh... 602 00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:39,062 I tho-I thought it was a profession... not a... headline. 603 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:44,064 It's just one o' those horrible family legacies we've all tried to forget. 604 00:42:46,082 --> 00:42:48,405 But thank you. No, it was... 605 00:42:49,019 --> 00:42:51,112 - A train wreck. Yeah. - No. 606 00:42:51,254 --> 00:42:52,662 Let me get you a cab. 607 00:42:57,527 --> 00:42:58,643 Thanks. 608 00:43:01,097 --> 00:43:02,997 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 609 00:43:12,809 --> 00:43:13,975 Taxi! 610 00:43:17,647 --> 00:43:19,699 Poor guy. Sounds like he went through a lot o' trouble. 611 00:43:20,066 --> 00:43:24,569 It was fun. In a disastrous kinda way. I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey. 612 00:43:26,116 --> 00:43:27,862 At least you got a good story out of it, right? 613 00:43:31,861 --> 00:43:32,496 Right? 614 00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:36,370 - You should try mine, it's great. - Wait, wait. You're seeing him again? 615 00:43:38,168 --> 00:43:40,706 Well, look. You said that I'm always expecting men 616 00:43:40,707 --> 00:43:42,961 - to... let me down, right? - Yeah. 617 00:43:42,962 --> 00:43:45,968 - Assuming that they're gonna fail? - Which he did. 618 00:43:47,299 --> 00:43:50,177 Yeah, but he did it with flair. 619 00:43:52,472 --> 00:43:57,525 - I mean, Case, he really tanked. - And that's a desirable trait? 620 00:43:58,567 --> 00:44:01,279 Yeah. Weird, huh? 621 00:44:03,994 --> 00:44:06,289 Now, just... keep it simple. Just like we practiced. 622 00:44:06,290 --> 00:44:07,914 We're just leavin' a message, okay? 623 00:44:07,915 --> 00:44:11,088 Women like Allegra Cole don't pick up numbers they don't recognize. 624 00:44:14,783 --> 00:44:15,789 Hello? 625 00:44:16,911 --> 00:44:18,635 She's on the phone! 626 00:44:21,002 --> 00:44:22,886 - Uh, yes. Hello. Miss Cole? - Yeah. 627 00:44:22,887 --> 00:44:24,794 Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you. 628 00:44:25,515 --> 00:44:27,645 - One moment, please. - No. Te-tell her I'm at lunch. 629 00:44:27,646 --> 00:44:30,606 We called her to tell her you're at lunch? 630 00:44:35,639 --> 00:44:39,741 Allegra. Hi, it's, uh, Al-bert Brennaman. 631 00:44:40,864 --> 00:44:42,103 Hi, how are you? 632 00:44:42,402 --> 00:44:44,741 Good. Good. I'm doing good. 633 00:44:45,108 --> 00:44:48,458 The reason I'm calling is, uh, about our appointment this Wednesday. 634 00:44:49,072 --> 00:44:50,828 Not gonna be able to make it. 635 00:44:50,829 --> 00:44:53,869 Oh! Uh... well, when can you make it? 636 00:44:54,711 --> 00:44:55,787 Uh, when can I do it? 637 00:44:55,995 --> 00:45:02,416 Uhh... I don't even know, cause my whole next week is slammed. 638 00:45:03,653 --> 00:45:06,045 Right. But it's all good. Yeah. It's all good. 639 00:45:07,137 --> 00:45:10,502 Uh-huh... No, we're gonna make it happen though, that's for sure. 640 00:45:11,679 --> 00:45:13,965 We're gonna make it happen. Yes. 641 00:45:21,367 --> 00:45:24,010 Are y... What's goin' on over there? 642 00:45:24,011 --> 00:45:26,230 Just moving some things around. 643 00:45:28,418 --> 00:45:29,692 Sky Studios. 644 00:45:29,693 --> 00:45:33,115 Look, tonight I'm actually going to this fashion thing at Sky Studios. 645 00:45:33,583 --> 00:45:34,538 - Designer friend... - Yeah. 646 00:45:34,539 --> 00:45:38,867 I just thought it might be something your... designer friend Maggie would be interested in. 647 00:45:38,868 --> 00:45:40,249 Yeah, definitely. 648 00:45:40,420 --> 00:45:44,592 Well, great. Great. Well, then I will put you back on with my assist... 649 00:46:03,012 --> 00:46:05,239 - Allegra, over here, please. - Miss Cole, this way. 650 00:46:05,415 --> 00:46:06,200 Great. One more. 651 00:46:06,568 --> 00:46:09,982 - Hi, there. - This was a fantastic idea. 652 00:46:10,286 --> 00:46:12,698 I suppose. Hey, where's Maggie? 653 00:46:13,189 --> 00:46:14,529 Late as usual. 654 00:46:16,893 --> 00:46:20,541 Tonight, I want you to meditate on the image of an iceberg. 655 00:46:20,915 --> 00:46:22,661 Do you know why I want you to do that? 656 00:46:23,133 --> 00:46:23,674 Because I'm cool? 657 00:46:24,934 --> 00:46:26,376 - No. - I know, I'm not. I... 658 00:46:26,377 --> 00:46:28,969 Uh... I'm sayin' that you are an iceberg 659 00:46:28,970 --> 00:46:33,588 in that over 90% of your mass is below the surface. 660 00:46:34,244 --> 00:46:35,314 I know I'm heavy. I am. 661 00:46:35,646 --> 00:46:39,392 No, uh-uh... I'm talkin' about who you are. It-it's a metaphor. 662 00:46:39,983 --> 00:46:41,014 Accounting, business, 663 00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:46,018 all of that is just... a small part of a much deeper, richer Albert. 664 00:46:47,272 --> 00:46:47,956 One more. 665 00:46:49,198 --> 00:46:49,700 Okay. 666 00:46:49,959 --> 00:46:51,068 I know, it's gonna be loud in there, 667 00:46:51,069 --> 00:46:53,573 so this is our opportunity to break the touch barrier 668 00:46:53,744 --> 00:46:54,993 in a non-sleazy way. 669 00:46:54,994 --> 00:46:58,130 So, get to where it's loudest. Ask her if she'd like a drink. 670 00:46:58,321 --> 00:47:00,785 Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back 671 00:47:00,919 --> 00:47:02,910 and say it in her ear like a secret. 672 00:47:02,911 --> 00:47:06,122 Watch your hand placement. Too high says "I just wanna be friends." 673 00:47:06,331 --> 00:47:09,001 Too low says "I just wanna grab some ass." 674 00:47:09,711 --> 00:47:12,727 Friends. Ass. Me. 675 00:47:17,971 --> 00:47:20,271 Special issues: Allegra Cole is a celebrity, 676 00:47:20,272 --> 00:47:23,308 which means that when people talk to her, they'll ignore you completely. 677 00:47:23,309 --> 00:47:25,575 You know? She's classy, so she'll introduce you. 678 00:47:25,766 --> 00:47:29,314 When she does, shake hands hard and speak up. Let them know that you're there. 679 00:47:29,315 --> 00:47:31,153 Show her you can handle being her escort. 680 00:47:31,154 --> 00:47:34,235 - Egon, this is Albert. - How you doin'? 681 00:47:34,791 --> 00:47:37,108 - Albert, this is Zak. - Nice to see you. 682 00:47:37,526 --> 00:47:39,285 - These guys are friends with Maggie. - Oh! 683 00:47:39,286 --> 00:47:42,406 - Have you been to that new Brazilian restaurant? - No, but I am looking... 684 00:47:42,407 --> 00:47:45,140 It's disgusting. I'm writing an article about it. 685 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,582 And... did you see the new installation at MOMA? 686 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,627 - Yes. Did you think... - Disgusting. Disgusting. 687 00:47:53,507 --> 00:47:56,309 Uh, women can always tell when you're not being real with them. 688 00:47:57,060 --> 00:48:00,356 Worst thing you can do is try to fake it, because you are a great guy. 689 00:48:00,646 --> 00:48:04,008 And you do have something to offer Allegra that no other man does. 690 00:48:05,168 --> 00:48:06,459 What was your name? Eggnog? 691 00:48:08,357 --> 00:48:09,184 Egon. 692 00:48:09,955 --> 00:48:13,190 What do you think of the design of the Jets' new football stadium on the West Side? 693 00:48:13,775 --> 00:48:16,826 - Uhh.. - Lemme guess. Disgusting? 694 00:48:17,780 --> 00:48:19,984 Think it over. We'll be back. 695 00:48:22,085 --> 00:48:24,879 Thank you. I can't stand those guys. 696 00:48:25,129 --> 00:48:27,299 Really? I kinda liked them. 697 00:48:27,690 --> 00:48:29,127 But, when all is said and done... 698 00:48:29,497 --> 00:48:32,252 tonight... is not about Allegra. 699 00:48:33,096 --> 00:48:35,545 - It's not? - No. Tonight is about Maggie. 700 00:48:35,797 --> 00:48:39,927 A woman's best friend has to sign off on all big relationship decisions. 701 00:48:40,303 --> 00:48:41,718 So you can't afford to mess this up. 702 00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:44,351 Albert, I want you to meet my friend, Maggie. 703 00:48:44,930 --> 00:48:45,889 Hi, Maggie. 704 00:48:45,890 --> 00:48:48,979 - It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. - I'm... Maggie. 705 00:48:50,380 --> 00:48:53,372 - No, you're not. - Yeah, actually... I am. 706 00:48:53,983 --> 00:48:57,065 Magnus Forester. Thank you so much for inviting us. 707 00:48:59,689 --> 00:49:01,706 - You have very soft hands. - Thank you. 708 00:49:03,905 --> 00:49:06,044 - Wow. So do you. - Thank you. 709 00:49:06,197 --> 00:49:10,582 So, tonight, you focus on one thing and one thing only. 710 00:49:10,934 --> 00:49:11,505 Maggie. 711 00:49:11,659 --> 00:49:15,000 - Where does your... inspiration come from? - Oh, my God. 712 00:49:16,406 --> 00:49:17,671 Anything I see. 713 00:49:18,408 --> 00:49:21,849 Something in a magazine... out on the street... 714 00:49:22,745 --> 00:49:23,468 in an old movie... 715 00:49:24,598 --> 00:49:28,438 The receptive nature of the creative facility just astounds me. 716 00:49:28,639 --> 00:49:30,447 Ooh. Anybody want any spring rolls? 717 00:49:30,448 --> 00:49:34,110 That's a beautiful tie, by the way. I mean, this whole thing, it just works. 718 00:49:34,318 --> 00:49:35,440 Thank you. 719 00:49:37,358 --> 00:49:39,984 - Is he gay? - I don't think so. 720 00:49:42,065 --> 00:49:42,691 I like 'im. 721 00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:47,574 Now, 'bout the DJ. Um, generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy. 722 00:49:47,575 --> 00:49:50,535 But... if she asks, you cannot say no. 723 00:49:50,536 --> 00:49:53,420 That's the one thing I'm not worried about. But if there are people there and... 724 00:49:53,421 --> 00:49:58,878 I'm sorry... I hate to be a stickler, but, you kn... I... need to be thorough. Mm, um... 725 00:49:59,682 --> 00:50:01,888 Show me what you mean by you're not worried about it. 726 00:50:02,227 --> 00:50:05,175 Trust me. You know... 727 00:50:07,657 --> 00:50:09,476 That's what it's all about, right there. 728 00:50:10,180 --> 00:50:11,479 See how it gets bigger? 729 00:50:15,064 --> 00:50:16,651 Now I'm gonna start the fire. 730 00:50:16,933 --> 00:50:20,565 But the feet are goin'. I start the fire, I make the pizza. 731 00:50:20,566 --> 00:50:22,227 Hips are always goin'. 732 00:50:24,007 --> 00:50:27,992 Can't get enough hip. From there... the Q-Tip. 733 00:50:29,045 --> 00:50:32,117 Q-Tip. Q-Tip. Throw it away. 734 00:50:33,116 --> 00:50:34,548 That's not workin', hit 'em with this. 735 00:50:43,893 --> 00:50:48,258 Don't... ever... do that again. 736 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:51,515 Do you hear me? 737 00:50:52,265 --> 00:50:54,072 - Just expressing myself. - No. 738 00:50:54,562 --> 00:50:58,846 No. Mm-mm. Not like that, you're not. All right? 739 00:51:01,944 --> 00:51:03,402 This is where you live. 740 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:04,820 Right here. 741 00:51:05,782 --> 00:51:08,486 You live right here. Okay? This is home. 742 00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:10,248 None o' this. 743 00:51:11,087 --> 00:51:12,367 I don't wanna see none o' that. 744 00:51:12,855 --> 00:51:14,913 Don't need no pizza. They got food there. 745 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,175 Elbows, 6 inches from the waist, 90-degree angles. 746 00:51:26,395 --> 00:51:29,137 Don't-don't you bite your lip. Stop it. 747 00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:51,507 Okay? Women relate dancing to sex. All right? 748 00:51:51,508 --> 00:51:54,619 Even a great dancer can lose it with one o' these. 749 00:51:55,994 --> 00:51:58,372 Okay, see, now that's what I need to be learnin'. 750 00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:10,851 Can't stop it. 751 00:52:11,647 --> 00:52:13,556 You cannot stop it. 752 00:52:15,952 --> 00:52:17,184 Next subject. 753 00:52:19,222 --> 00:52:19,729 Get out. 754 00:52:25,361 --> 00:52:26,068 Thanks. 755 00:52:26,819 --> 00:52:29,168 So... you're a Knicks fan? 756 00:52:31,031 --> 00:52:32,198 When they're good. 757 00:52:37,415 --> 00:52:38,784 - Hey. - Hey. 758 00:52:39,408 --> 00:52:41,423 - I'm really sorry. - Oh, God. Why? 759 00:52:42,879 --> 00:52:45,046 - She was there? - I left you a bunch o' messages. 760 00:52:45,748 --> 00:52:48,645 - My phone fell in the Hudson. - Yeah, well, it gets worse. 761 00:52:52,592 --> 00:52:53,404 I don't believe this. 762 00:52:53,405 --> 00:52:54,601 I thought he was a bodyguard. 763 00:52:54,602 --> 00:52:57,358 Yeah, well, the only one who's gonna need protection around here is me. 764 00:52:58,327 --> 00:53:00,599 - Max is gonna... - Gonna be really irritated. 765 00:53:01,187 --> 00:53:04,778 You know, when I got the train this morning, I thought it was gonna be a good day. 766 00:53:05,484 --> 00:53:08,109 Who the hell is Albert Brennaman? 767 00:53:08,412 --> 00:53:11,610 - I need you to tell me how this happened. - What? There were some photographers. 768 00:53:11,704 --> 00:53:13,865 Look. Does this even look like dancin' to you? 769 00:53:14,283 --> 00:53:16,200 That's just a little bit o' me... being me. 770 00:53:16,201 --> 00:53:19,080 No, Albert. That's, uh, you bein' a lot o' bit o' somethin' 771 00:53:19,081 --> 00:53:20,829 you don't need to ever be again. 772 00:53:21,584 --> 00:53:23,040 - It's just one dance. - No. 773 00:53:23,786 --> 00:53:28,127 One dance, one look, one kiss. That's all we get, Albert. 774 00:53:28,128 --> 00:53:30,756 Just one shot to make the difference 775 00:53:30,757 --> 00:53:33,503 between... happily ever after and... 776 00:53:33,504 --> 00:53:37,274 "Oh, he's just some guy I went to some thing with once." 777 00:53:38,571 --> 00:53:39,397 All right? 778 00:53:44,979 --> 00:53:47,849 - What? - You-you said "kiss". 779 00:53:50,527 --> 00:53:51,782 Is... that a problem? 780 00:53:51,783 --> 00:53:53,443 It's... it's not a problem, 781 00:53:53,444 --> 00:53:55,252 - but, I don't know, this is Allegra Cole. - Albert... 782 00:53:55,852 --> 00:53:57,664 Eight outta 10 women believe that the first kiss 783 00:53:57,665 --> 00:54:00,957 will tell them everything that they need to know about a relationship. 784 00:54:01,078 --> 00:54:04,709 And believe me, she has definitely thought about it. 785 00:54:05,328 --> 00:54:07,225 - She has? - Ow, of course. 786 00:54:07,226 --> 00:54:11,175 I mean, not that she's gonna act on it. So, it's no real big deal. 787 00:54:11,634 --> 00:54:14,432 - All right, it's no big deal then. - It's a very big deal, Albert! 788 00:54:14,433 --> 00:54:15,885 - Huge. - Monumental! 789 00:54:15,886 --> 00:54:18,178 You are not listen... 790 00:54:19,529 --> 00:54:21,264 I need you to wrap your head around this. 791 00:54:21,703 --> 00:54:24,267 Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole... 792 00:54:24,897 --> 00:54:28,666 could have her last... first... kiss. 793 00:54:39,452 --> 00:54:41,952 All right, come on, uh, just show me what you got. 794 00:54:42,637 --> 00:54:45,499 - What do you... what do you mean? - Just, uh, show me how you would kiss me. 795 00:54:46,335 --> 00:54:47,031 I wouldn't kiss you. 796 00:54:47,642 --> 00:54:49,003 I'm not me, I'm Allegra. 797 00:54:52,275 --> 00:54:53,902 But you're really not, so... 798 00:54:54,010 --> 00:54:57,730 Okay, Albert, end o' the night, you're droppin' me off at home... 799 00:54:58,114 --> 00:54:58,764 Show me the magic. 800 00:54:58,765 --> 00:55:00,381 Yeah, you know, I'm really not comfortable with this. 801 00:55:00,382 --> 00:55:04,015 God, Albert, I had such a wonderful time with you. 802 00:55:04,182 --> 00:55:05,853 Yeah, how 'bout those Knicks, huh? 803 00:55:06,017 --> 00:55:11,482 Hey... You see what I'm doin'? All right? This is a signal. Okay? I'm fiddlin' with my keys. 804 00:55:11,861 --> 00:55:13,067 All right? A woman that doesn't want a kiss... 805 00:55:13,528 --> 00:55:15,564 takes her keys out, puts them in the door, goes in the house. 806 00:55:15,565 --> 00:55:18,154 A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles. 807 00:55:19,630 --> 00:55:20,700 I'm fiddling. 808 00:55:21,201 --> 00:55:22,591 Okay, you have a good night now... 809 00:55:24,336 --> 00:55:26,548 - You see what I'm doin'? - Robbing me? 810 00:55:26,549 --> 00:55:27,607 No. 811 00:55:28,046 --> 00:55:30,751 See, this is what most guys do. They rush in to take the kiss. 812 00:55:31,186 --> 00:55:33,296 But you're not most guys. 813 00:55:33,479 --> 00:55:37,673 See, the secret to a kiss... is to go 90% o' the way... 814 00:55:39,088 --> 00:55:40,356 and then hold. 815 00:55:45,294 --> 00:55:47,184 - For how long? - As long as it takes... 816 00:55:47,681 --> 00:55:49,155 for her to come the other 10. 817 00:55:49,613 --> 00:55:51,520 Okay, 90-10. Got it. 818 00:55:51,521 --> 00:55:55,157 Yeah? Okay, come on. Shake it off. It's your turn. 819 00:55:58,828 --> 00:56:01,410 I had a really nice time tonight, Albert. 820 00:56:04,013 --> 00:56:07,162 I had a... great time tonight, too, Allegra... 821 00:56:09,218 --> 00:56:10,373 with a beard. 822 00:56:44,186 --> 00:56:44,657 What's up? 823 00:56:46,055 --> 00:56:48,083 - I'm not feelin' it. - What do you mean? I came 90. 824 00:56:48,996 --> 00:56:50,538 It's just... I'm not feelin' like you want it. 825 00:56:50,752 --> 00:56:55,561 Look, I'm Allegra Cole, the woman of your dreams. 826 00:56:55,562 --> 00:56:59,170 The woman whose green eyes are limpid pools of desire. 827 00:56:59,171 --> 00:57:01,590 Now, show me the magic, Albert. Show me the magic... 828 00:57:02,405 --> 00:57:04,230 - What the hell was that? - I'm showin' you the magic! I... 829 00:57:04,231 --> 00:57:06,674 No, I said come 90 and then I come 10! 830 00:57:06,804 --> 00:57:08,345 You don't go the whole hundred! 831 00:57:08,346 --> 00:57:12,063 My mouth was open, Albert. You overeager son of a... 832 00:57:15,774 --> 00:57:16,983 Other than that, how was it? 833 00:57:18,198 --> 00:57:20,819 They came together, they danced together, and they left together. 834 00:57:22,024 --> 00:57:24,128 He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way. 835 00:57:24,453 --> 00:57:26,536 Hey, for all I know, he's adorable. 836 00:57:26,996 --> 00:57:28,880 But him dating her is... 837 00:57:29,398 --> 00:57:30,703 You seem stressed. 838 00:57:30,704 --> 00:57:32,329 You and I had an understanding. 839 00:57:32,330 --> 00:57:34,500 If you invite Allegra, you're supposed to call me. 840 00:57:34,501 --> 00:57:36,669 Sara, I didn't invite her. 841 00:57:37,273 --> 00:57:39,173 Honestly, sweetie, I thought she was still in Europe. 842 00:57:39,727 --> 00:57:41,971 - So, you invited Albert? - No. 843 00:57:42,639 --> 00:57:46,681 Look, it says here the tickets went to some guy named... Alex Hitchens. 844 00:57:47,049 --> 00:57:47,724 What? 845 00:57:59,248 --> 00:58:00,280 Machine. 846 00:58:04,155 --> 00:58:05,417 Hi, it's Sara. 847 00:58:05,418 --> 00:58:11,707 Um... I just wanted to, uh, to say thank you... 848 00:58:12,004 --> 00:58:16,794 for a... an unforgettable experience... 849 00:58:17,213 --> 00:58:18,049 the other day. 850 00:58:19,769 --> 00:58:21,921 And, uh, if you ever wanna see your shirt again, 851 00:58:21,922 --> 00:58:26,310 you can... you can come by the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8 o'clock. 852 00:58:26,689 --> 00:58:28,315 Okay. Bye. 853 00:58:31,983 --> 00:58:34,142 - You think he'll show? - Yeah. 854 00:58:34,897 --> 00:58:37,368 He's too much of a player to have a bad date on his record. 855 00:58:37,773 --> 00:58:41,020 Is this a, uh, source or... a date? 856 00:58:42,104 --> 00:58:43,151 A source. 857 00:58:44,162 --> 00:58:46,067 Well, it sounded like... a date. 858 00:58:47,109 --> 00:58:48,576 Well, it was supposed to. 859 00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:54,213 So, it-it... it looks like a date and it sounds like a date, 860 00:58:54,214 --> 00:58:58,249 - but... it's not a date. - Yeah. Right. 861 00:58:59,655 --> 00:59:00,300 Just checkin'. 862 00:59:20,773 --> 00:59:23,369 Hi. I wasn't sure you got my message. 863 00:59:23,483 --> 00:59:28,155 Well, I wasn't sure you called the right guy. Uh... You must be a glutton for punishment. 864 00:59:28,701 --> 00:59:31,044 Either that or I really wanna pay you back. 865 00:59:31,954 --> 00:59:33,819 I think this is yours. 866 00:59:34,757 --> 00:59:38,086 Thank you. I... I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame. 867 00:59:38,371 --> 00:59:40,458 Really? There's a whole wall? 868 00:59:40,642 --> 00:59:41,835 So, what are we gettin' into? 869 00:59:44,895 --> 00:59:46,593 Ever been to a food rave before? 870 00:59:46,594 --> 00:59:50,718 Happens once a month, all around the city. Different chefs, different venues... 871 00:59:51,328 --> 00:59:51,987 You any good in the kitchen? 872 00:59:51,988 --> 00:59:54,482 Well, I can stand the heat, if that's what you mean. 873 00:59:54,483 --> 00:59:57,905 Good. Cause that's my boss and his wife right over there. 874 00:59:58,871 --> 01:00:00,024 - Interesting. - Mm-hm. 875 01:00:00,453 --> 01:00:04,447 Well, here's a concept: We're paying to cook our own food. 876 01:00:04,448 --> 01:00:07,503 Here's another concept: Shut up. It's an evening out. 877 01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:09,588 I tell you, the longer you're married, the less you go out. 878 01:00:09,589 --> 01:00:13,828 In a couple of years, we're gonna end up bricked into our apartment like a Poe story. 879 01:00:15,328 --> 01:00:18,001 So, Louise, are you... in the newspaper business, also? 880 01:00:18,002 --> 01:00:19,585 Oh, no, I'm a psychiatrist. 881 01:00:20,748 --> 01:00:24,390 Well... Uhh, that's the last thing I'm gonna say tonight. 882 01:00:25,336 --> 01:00:28,632 So, uh, Sara, you never told me. 883 01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:32,767 How was the Sky Studio fashion thing you went to the other night? 884 01:00:32,768 --> 01:00:37,809 - Did you... meet anyone worth mentioning? - Uh... no. Mm-mm. 885 01:00:39,453 --> 01:00:43,120 Really? I find that... very odd. 886 01:00:43,572 --> 01:00:45,695 - Max. - I think you're being odd. 887 01:00:45,957 --> 01:00:49,542 Well, I'm... always odd. It's... why you married me. 888 01:00:49,696 --> 01:00:51,785 And it's why I married you. 889 01:00:53,323 --> 01:00:54,847 Speaking of which, Hitch, uh, 890 01:00:54,958 --> 01:00:58,413 what exactly are your intentions for the lovely Sara here? 891 01:00:58,414 --> 01:01:02,125 Wait, you know what? Um, actually, there... there was someone. 892 01:01:04,211 --> 01:01:06,464 Um, I think I met your friends Albert and Allegra. 893 01:01:07,927 --> 01:01:10,150 - My friends who and who? - Allegra Cole? 894 01:01:10,554 --> 01:01:12,944 Really? How do you know her? 895 01:01:13,930 --> 01:01:16,142 - Um, I don't. - Oh, so you know Albert? 896 01:01:17,723 --> 01:01:20,099 - Well, uh... knew. - Well, he had your tickets. 897 01:01:20,100 --> 01:01:24,065 I mean... How well do you really know your accountant? 898 01:01:25,033 --> 01:01:28,483 April 15, and then you don't see 'im again... till April 15. 899 01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:31,316 Ladies and gentlemen... 900 01:01:31,779 --> 01:01:34,738 a coquille St. Jacques with a lemon butter reduction... 901 01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:37,050 - Compliments of our chef. - Thank you. 902 01:01:37,051 --> 01:01:38,748 I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this. 903 01:01:47,710 --> 01:01:48,804 That's really good. 904 01:01:50,079 --> 01:01:51,978 I'm very impressed. 905 01:01:53,224 --> 01:01:53,763 Why is that? 906 01:01:54,014 --> 01:01:59,762 Well, you know. Around these two, people usually can't wait to, uh, name-drop and dish their friends 907 01:01:59,763 --> 01:02:03,534 - and you, you are being all discreet. - Yes. It's... it's quite endearing. 908 01:02:03,977 --> 01:02:06,655 Actually, it is. So, why don't we change the subject? 909 01:02:09,432 --> 01:02:11,959 - Whoa! Whoa. You all right? - Oh, no, yeah. No, I'm fine. 910 01:02:13,046 --> 01:02:17,199 So, uh, Sara tells me that, uh, you're a consultant, Hitch. 911 01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:21,707 Yeah, uh, mostly marketing, little advertising, brand management... 912 01:02:23,205 --> 01:02:25,513 I have... no idea what that means. 913 01:02:26,049 --> 01:02:28,637 No one does. That is why I get to charge so much. 914 01:02:32,587 --> 01:02:34,316 Are you-are you sure you're all right? 915 01:02:34,758 --> 01:02:39,688 Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Um... Hey, is it itchy in here or is it just me? 916 01:02:40,221 --> 01:02:42,717 - Oh, I know what's happening. - No, no. 917 01:02:43,603 --> 01:02:45,877 You think that I-I'm in a stressful state 918 01:02:45,878 --> 01:02:47,478 because I'm tryin' to make a good impression 919 01:02:47,479 --> 01:02:50,866 while also... dealing with my commitment issues... 920 01:02:52,168 --> 01:02:55,029 tryin' to avoid all these awkward conversations... 921 01:02:56,246 --> 01:02:59,110 No, I-I-I think you have food allergies. 922 01:03:00,788 --> 01:03:01,633 - Oh... - Oh! 923 01:03:02,037 --> 01:03:03,593 - Wow. - What? 924 01:03:05,743 --> 01:03:08,250 - Uh, Benadryl? Where's the Benadryl? - Aisle 2. 925 01:03:08,558 --> 01:03:10,879 - Which one's Aisle 2? - The one with the big 2 over it. 926 01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:12,211 Sara, I'm fine. 927 01:03:12,673 --> 01:03:14,898 - You sure it's in Aisle 2? - No. 928 01:03:15,132 --> 01:03:17,049 Really, it is not that serious. 929 01:03:21,177 --> 01:03:21,782 Benadryl. 930 01:03:23,349 --> 01:03:26,474 - A lot of Benadryl. A lot. A lot of Benadryl. - What? What? Will you... 931 01:03:41,524 --> 01:03:43,879 Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf! 932 01:03:48,698 --> 01:03:49,305 Come on! 933 01:04:00,724 --> 01:04:02,185 Okay, we're doing fine. 934 01:04:02,512 --> 01:04:05,136 Just a couple more blocks and you get to lie down. 935 01:04:14,068 --> 01:04:15,821 Wait, wait, who-who sings that song, again? 936 01:04:15,822 --> 01:04:17,652 Oh, girl. Earth, Wind & Fire. 937 01:04:18,029 --> 01:04:19,877 Ahh, you should let them sing it. 938 01:04:23,492 --> 01:04:27,207 I bet this would be great on the rocks. It's good, right? 939 01:04:29,631 --> 01:04:32,833 I bet I can ask you just about anything right now. 940 01:04:32,834 --> 01:04:33,964 No. 941 01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:36,670 I'm a vault, baby. Locked down. 942 01:04:38,477 --> 01:04:44,161 - What is an heiress doing with a CPA? - Oh, they're going to the Knicks game. 943 01:04:45,121 --> 01:04:47,221 Yep, Fort Knox. 944 01:04:47,366 --> 01:04:48,338 Oh, whoa, whoa. 945 01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:53,563 - He loves her so much! - I'm sure he does. 946 01:04:54,023 --> 01:04:57,979 I'm tellin'g you, people search their whole lives trying to find the 947 01:04:57,980 --> 01:05:01,214 reasons that we're here. 948 01:05:02,772 --> 01:05:03,798 I wouldn't know. 949 01:05:05,041 --> 01:05:06,050 You would if you saw it. 950 01:05:06,051 --> 01:05:10,247 Well, sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the sleaze. 951 01:05:11,465 --> 01:05:13,932 What about you? You ever been in love? 952 01:05:19,173 --> 01:05:20,131 Yep. 953 01:05:24,341 --> 01:05:26,542 But you're never gonna know that. 954 01:05:29,404 --> 01:05:33,103 Okay, okay, I think you've had enough of the juice box. 955 01:05:35,903 --> 01:05:36,865 Let's go. 956 01:05:44,247 --> 01:05:45,976 This is some place. 957 01:05:47,075 --> 01:05:48,544 You live here alone? 958 01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:55,049 Yeah. I actually prefer it that way. What about you? 959 01:05:55,586 --> 01:05:59,517 I haven't had a roommate since college, and he upped and married my sister. 960 01:05:59,518 --> 01:06:02,210 - Really? - Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon. 961 01:06:02,211 --> 01:06:04,601 Oh... Uncle Hitch. 962 01:06:06,276 --> 01:06:07,321 Thank you. 963 01:06:13,843 --> 01:06:16,778 - So, how do you feel? - Good. 964 01:06:17,994 --> 01:06:19,190 Relaxed. 965 01:06:20,700 --> 01:06:22,538 So, what about you? Any siblings? 966 01:06:24,609 --> 01:06:28,707 Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C. 967 01:06:30,912 --> 01:06:32,121 Younger, right? 968 01:06:35,176 --> 01:06:36,790 I could hear it in your voice. 969 01:06:38,209 --> 01:06:42,049 Sort of an... innate protective thing. 970 01:06:44,174 --> 01:06:45,555 Yeah, I guess. 971 01:06:51,557 --> 01:06:52,599 What? 972 01:06:55,848 --> 01:06:57,359 She almost died once. 973 01:07:02,441 --> 01:07:03,528 I was 10. 974 01:07:10,787 --> 01:07:15,199 We, um... were skating on the pond behind our house... 975 01:07:15,938 --> 01:07:17,530 and she fell through the ice. 976 01:07:19,841 --> 01:07:21,297 My dad pulled 'er out. 977 01:07:25,748 --> 01:07:27,272 Gave 'er mouth-to-mouth. 978 01:07:30,684 --> 01:07:33,353 Longest three minutes of my life. 979 01:07:35,102 --> 01:07:36,514 Yeah, I'm sure. 980 01:07:42,787 --> 01:07:45,445 I don't think I've ever really gotten over it. 981 01:07:49,116 --> 01:07:52,633 Kind of... defines you, doesn't it? 982 01:07:57,542 --> 01:08:01,960 You know, like, one moment you're gliding along... 983 01:08:03,426 --> 01:08:07,589 next moment you're standin' in the rain watchin' your life fall apart. 984 01:08:09,659 --> 01:08:10,990 Except it was snow. 985 01:08:12,927 --> 01:08:15,728 Yeah. That's what I said, "snow". 986 01:08:18,067 --> 01:08:19,102 You said "rain". 987 01:08:21,195 --> 01:08:24,023 Some kind of precipitation. 988 01:08:28,289 --> 01:08:29,949 Is that what happened to you? 989 01:08:34,251 --> 01:08:37,917 Nothin' as dramatic as fallin' through the ice. 990 01:08:41,958 --> 01:08:42,669 You know, it, uh... 991 01:08:44,844 --> 01:08:46,339 definitely... 992 01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:51,724 Left a scar? 993 01:08:53,803 --> 01:08:54,928 Yeah. 994 01:09:07,581 --> 01:09:11,325 I guess it's best just not to love at all, right? 995 01:09:15,619 --> 01:09:16,994 Or skate. 996 01:09:37,687 --> 01:09:38,640 Hitch? 997 01:09:44,856 --> 01:09:46,145 Are you here? 998 01:09:55,598 --> 01:10:00,636 Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron! What the hell did you think? 999 01:10:00,803 --> 01:10:03,474 You're so stupid! You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara. 1000 01:10:03,475 --> 01:10:05,795 - When are you gonna learn... - Should I come back later? 1001 01:10:08,878 --> 01:10:12,059 Hi. I thought, uh, I thought you left. 1002 01:10:12,302 --> 01:10:17,013 Well, yeah, I did, you know, but, uh, but then I came back... with breakfast. 1003 01:10:18,058 --> 01:10:20,774 Uh, yeah, I figured it-it was the least that I could do. 1004 01:10:22,852 --> 01:10:24,227 Hey, I didn't know what you were drinkin' 1005 01:10:24,228 --> 01:10:29,485 so... I got a grande cap, a latte, an Earl Grey tea 1006 01:10:29,486 --> 01:10:32,863 and... somethin' with "chai" in the title. 1007 01:10:33,620 --> 01:10:35,831 Uh-uh... tea for me. 1008 01:10:35,832 --> 01:10:38,866 Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that. 1009 01:10:42,084 --> 01:10:45,218 Oh, God. You're a morning person, aren't you? 1010 01:10:46,291 --> 01:10:49,212 Well, you know, like I, uh, always tell my clients: 1011 01:10:49,547 --> 01:10:52,544 Begin each day... as if it were on purpose. 1012 01:11:00,389 --> 01:11:02,268 - Wow. Beautiful day. - Yeah. 1013 01:11:04,266 --> 01:11:06,567 - Beautiful girl... - Thank you. 1014 01:11:08,310 --> 01:11:12,830 - Well, I'm... this way. - Oh, I'm... that way. 1015 01:11:14,444 --> 01:11:16,731 Gimme a ring... sometime. 1016 01:11:18,443 --> 01:11:20,033 I mean, on the phone. 1017 01:11:22,121 --> 01:11:25,946 Yeah... No, uh, I definitely will. 1018 01:11:28,339 --> 01:11:29,051 Good. 1019 01:11:58,153 --> 01:12:00,718 Oh, I gotta go to work. 1020 01:12:04,966 --> 01:12:05,872 Okay. 1021 01:12:10,499 --> 01:12:11,544 Bye. 1022 01:12:13,753 --> 01:12:15,126 Goodbye. 1023 01:12:39,253 --> 01:12:43,293 Hey. Can you believe what a beautiful day it is... 1024 01:12:44,066 --> 01:12:44,953 not? 1025 01:12:45,165 --> 01:12:48,328 - What's wrong, pumpkin? - Oh, I'm so stupid. 1026 01:12:48,998 --> 01:12:51,099 I ignored your advice. I went on that date. 1027 01:12:51,459 --> 01:12:53,002 With who? 1028 01:12:53,609 --> 01:12:56,021 - Not the lingerie guy... - Vance Munson. 1029 01:12:56,312 --> 01:12:58,382 You're right, there's no way he ever had a mother. 1030 01:12:58,383 --> 01:13:00,010 Oh, that bad? 1031 01:13:00,011 --> 01:13:04,271 He took me to Scalinatella, and he was affectionate and sweet... 1032 01:13:05,121 --> 01:13:08,354 He told me all these intimate things, like... how he can't taste food... 1033 01:13:08,355 --> 01:13:09,719 and he wants three kids... 1034 01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:11,361 So, you slept with 'im. 1035 01:13:12,828 --> 01:13:14,519 I never seen anybody get dressed that fast. 1036 01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:16,479 Oh, Case, I'm so sorry. 1037 01:13:17,609 --> 01:13:21,369 - Well, maybe I'll just die alone after all. - No, you won't. 1038 01:13:22,071 --> 01:13:25,953 You're gonna meet a great guy with a great smile and you're gonna travel the world together. 1039 01:13:25,954 --> 01:13:28,129 Okay, who are you? What have you done with my best friend? 1040 01:13:28,130 --> 01:13:31,582 It is true. He just hasn't found you yet. But he will. 1041 01:13:31,583 --> 01:13:35,421 Just as he's leaving, guess what he says: "Date doctor, my ass." 1042 01:13:35,753 --> 01:13:38,559 - Well, what-what does that mean? - It means he's really out there. 1043 01:13:38,808 --> 01:13:42,638 And if I ever meet 'im, the only date he's gonna need is with a real doctor. 1044 01:13:55,323 --> 01:13:56,286 That's him. 1045 01:13:57,039 --> 01:13:59,168 Vance? Is that you? 1046 01:13:59,485 --> 01:14:02,448 Yeah, hey there... beautiful. 1047 01:14:02,878 --> 01:14:04,237 Sara Melas, from the "Standard". 1048 01:14:04,480 --> 01:14:06,280 I'd like to talk to you about the dating consultant you hired 1049 01:14:06,281 --> 01:14:08,158 before you went out with Casey Sedgewick? 1050 01:14:12,344 --> 01:14:15,970 Hey, you don't wanna talk, that's fine. I'm gonna write this anyway. 1051 01:14:16,258 --> 01:14:18,631 You just earned yourself a photo with a boldface caption. 1052 01:14:18,632 --> 01:14:20,384 What? Nice. 1053 01:14:20,385 --> 01:14:22,589 Now, I can only imagine how the guys on the trading floor 1054 01:14:22,590 --> 01:14:24,048 are gonna react when they see this. 1055 01:14:24,049 --> 01:14:25,945 Look, you have no proof, you have no facts. 1056 01:14:25,946 --> 01:14:28,725 Vance, I'm a gossip columnist, not the D.A. 1057 01:14:28,726 --> 01:14:31,813 Okay, okay. How much will it cost me to stay out of this? 1058 01:14:31,814 --> 01:14:33,701 I don't want money. I want a name. 1059 01:14:34,076 --> 01:14:36,192 - I don't know his name. - Well, what do you know? 1060 01:14:39,348 --> 01:14:39,870 I know this. 1061 01:14:47,122 --> 01:14:48,702 All this for a lousy lay. 1062 01:14:49,692 --> 01:14:50,989 Are we satisfied? 1063 01:14:52,417 --> 01:14:53,538 Almost. 1064 01:14:57,766 --> 01:15:00,547 No, you... Oh... You gotta be... 1065 01:15:06,175 --> 01:15:07,719 Is this really necessary? 1066 01:15:08,577 --> 01:15:09,554 Have you seen your back? 1067 01:15:09,555 --> 01:15:13,767 No, but I see my front and... maybe we should be starting with some sit-ups. 1068 01:15:14,434 --> 01:15:16,268 God! Mother of Troy! 1069 01:15:19,813 --> 01:15:20,441 Hello? 1070 01:15:20,941 --> 01:15:25,862 Wow. That's crazy. Just hearin' your voice makes me smile. 1071 01:15:26,368 --> 01:15:27,281 How are you? 1072 01:15:27,827 --> 01:15:29,703 Uh, I'm-I'm-I'm good, I think. Um... 1073 01:15:30,332 --> 01:15:33,701 No, actually, you know what? Uh, it's, uh... I feel a little strange. 1074 01:15:36,125 --> 01:15:37,044 I'm good. 1075 01:15:38,774 --> 01:15:40,055 Sweet Georgia Brown! 1076 01:15:40,056 --> 01:15:40,960 What was that? 1077 01:15:40,961 --> 01:15:44,381 No, that's just, uh... some guy screamin'. 1078 01:15:45,748 --> 01:15:47,013 Listen, is there any context 1079 01:15:47,014 --> 01:15:52,596 under which you'd consider facial edema and pharmaceutical intervention a date? 1080 01:15:52,597 --> 01:15:55,387 Mm... Probably not. 1081 01:15:55,658 --> 01:15:56,486 How 'bout a do-over? 1082 01:15:56,487 --> 01:15:59,568 - What do you have in mind? - Dinner, my place... 1083 01:15:59,569 --> 01:16:03,100 I mean, because obviously goin' anywhere public with you is outta the question. 1084 01:16:04,870 --> 01:16:07,246 God! That's it. I don't like you very much. 1085 01:16:07,448 --> 01:16:08,530 What is that? 1086 01:16:09,104 --> 01:16:09,872 Wait... I'm getting up. 1087 01:16:09,873 --> 01:16:12,697 Kind of, uh-uh, like, one of those makeover shows. 1088 01:16:12,698 --> 01:16:15,073 - That's a makeover show? - It's Danish. 1089 01:16:15,377 --> 01:16:15,912 Almost done! 1090 01:16:18,113 --> 01:16:18,955 Friday? 1091 01:16:18,956 --> 01:16:24,135 Oh, can't. I told a friend I'd go speed dating. Well, you know, for moral support. 1092 01:16:24,136 --> 01:16:26,228 Uh, but... tomorrow I'm free. 1093 01:16:27,126 --> 01:16:28,958 Great. All right. Uh, 8 o'clock? 1094 01:16:29,692 --> 01:16:30,301 Great. 1095 01:16:30,826 --> 01:16:33,513 - All right. Bye-bye. - Bye. 1096 01:16:38,661 --> 01:16:41,885 - See, it wa-it wasn't so bad, was it? - Oh, God! 1097 01:16:46,359 --> 01:16:49,033 Ball is back in play after a 20-second timeout. 1098 01:16:49,034 --> 01:16:52,907 Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6, here early in the first quarter. 1099 01:17:02,917 --> 01:17:05,467 - So, this is what this feels like? - "This" being...? 1100 01:17:06,395 --> 01:17:08,261 Great seats... great game... 1101 01:17:09,847 --> 01:17:11,964 Great... date. 1102 01:17:13,973 --> 01:17:15,553 I mean... sort of. 1103 01:17:16,019 --> 01:17:18,469 To me, it-it feels... like a... 1104 01:17:19,178 --> 01:17:21,155 - Date? - Yeah. 1105 01:17:22,062 --> 01:17:22,980 Yeah. 1106 01:17:27,194 --> 01:17:28,900 Look at 'er. She looks so happy. 1107 01:17:29,952 --> 01:17:31,986 How does a guy like that end up with a girl like her? 1108 01:17:38,338 --> 01:17:41,662 I am so jealous. I've always wanted to be able to do that. 1109 01:17:41,663 --> 01:17:44,675 Really? Tonight is your lucky night. Let's see what you got. 1110 01:17:44,676 --> 01:17:46,461 Okay. You ready? 1111 01:17:49,905 --> 01:17:52,843 - Oh, God. I'm sorry. - It's fine. 1112 01:17:52,844 --> 01:17:55,008 Knicks off to a great start... 1113 01:17:55,009 --> 01:17:56,631 All right, here's how it works. 1114 01:17:56,905 --> 01:18:01,201 Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon, by the sea lions. 1115 01:18:02,618 --> 01:18:04,245 No, don't worry. I'll find you. 1116 01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:06,817 All right. Thank you. 1117 01:18:25,174 --> 01:18:26,828 No, it's all right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1118 01:18:27,876 --> 01:18:28,720 Damn me. Damn me. 1119 01:18:32,399 --> 01:18:35,189 Hey! That was it! You got it. Do it again, do it again! 1120 01:18:37,472 --> 01:18:38,887 Look how cute they are. 1121 01:19:10,486 --> 01:19:11,546 Thanks. 1122 01:19:28,070 --> 01:19:30,358 I had a great time tonight, Albert. 1123 01:19:31,060 --> 01:19:34,069 I... had a great... time, too, Allegra. 1124 01:19:51,753 --> 01:19:52,806 Well, uh... 1125 01:19:54,796 --> 01:19:55,898 Good night. 1126 01:19:56,732 --> 01:19:58,063 Good night, Albert. 1127 01:20:11,577 --> 01:20:13,857 - Allegra. - Yes? 1128 01:20:18,120 --> 01:20:18,696 Hold on. 1129 01:20:41,577 --> 01:20:43,221 I like your lips. 1130 01:20:47,349 --> 01:20:48,979 They seem to like you, too. 1131 01:20:55,316 --> 01:20:58,450 Okay... Good night. 1132 01:20:59,595 --> 01:21:00,529 Good night. 1133 01:21:37,038 --> 01:21:39,371 - Anything? - Not yet. 1134 01:21:40,031 --> 01:21:41,650 But I got some great shots of you bitin' your nails. 1135 01:21:43,071 --> 01:21:44,488 Well, it's a big story. 1136 01:21:45,494 --> 01:21:47,625 - Aw... incoming. - Really? 1137 01:21:47,626 --> 01:21:48,831 Yep. They're shakin' hands. 1138 01:21:48,832 --> 01:21:51,329 Oh, my God, this is so great. I can't wait to nail this guy. 1139 01:21:51,330 --> 01:21:53,163 Hey, make sure you get a good shot of his face. 1140 01:21:53,164 --> 01:21:53,599 Uh-huh. 1141 01:21:53,600 --> 01:21:55,793 - What's he look like? - Tall, dark, and handsome. 1142 01:21:56,652 --> 01:21:57,602 Basic principles: 1143 01:21:58,171 --> 01:22:00,429 No matter what, no matter who, no matter when. 1144 01:22:00,690 --> 01:22:02,006 This is killing me. 1145 01:22:02,432 --> 01:22:04,553 Geoff's actually managing to play it straight. 1146 01:22:04,588 --> 01:22:05,935 How long you been in love with 'er? 1147 01:22:05,936 --> 01:22:09,759 Oh, her? Chap... About two and a... two and a half years. 1148 01:22:12,768 --> 01:22:13,228 - Take a look. - Okay. 1149 01:22:21,693 --> 01:22:24,797 - How'd you get my card? - Albert... Albert Brennaman. 1150 01:22:24,990 --> 01:22:27,048 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1151 01:22:29,626 --> 01:22:30,744 What...? Sara... 1152 01:22:31,665 --> 01:22:32,329 Sara! 1153 01:22:37,099 --> 01:22:40,545 - Pleasure to meet you, Geoff. - Uh, hey, what... 1154 01:22:45,300 --> 01:22:48,678 - How'd you get my card? - Albert... Albert Brennaman. 1155 01:22:48,947 --> 01:22:50,929 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1156 01:22:53,642 --> 01:22:55,200 You sure you wanna do this? 1157 01:22:55,612 --> 01:22:56,484 Why wouldn't I? 1158 01:23:00,231 --> 01:23:04,862 You know, Louise made an interesting observation on the way home the other night. 1159 01:23:06,088 --> 01:23:08,756 She said people who are guarded are afraid 1160 01:23:08,757 --> 01:23:12,160 that... you can see right through them. 1161 01:23:12,342 --> 01:23:16,499 That's why they hide behind layers of, uh, secrecy or humor. 1162 01:23:16,581 --> 01:23:19,958 Well, he's gonna have to hide behind a lot more than that once this hits the fan. 1163 01:23:21,269 --> 01:23:22,521 She meant you. 1164 01:23:27,531 --> 01:23:28,890 What do you want me to say? 1165 01:23:30,443 --> 01:23:34,892 That I like the guy? Yeah, sure, I liked the guy. 1166 01:23:36,685 --> 01:23:39,270 Well... here's his shirt. 1167 01:23:40,689 --> 01:23:45,195 - Why don't you think about it? Call me. - Thanks. 1168 01:23:55,507 --> 01:23:56,075 Yeah. 1169 01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,922 Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you. 1170 01:24:00,458 --> 01:24:03,589 Thanks a lot, Raoul. Send her up. And, uh, stop callin' me papi. 1171 01:24:15,322 --> 01:24:18,602 Well... Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 1172 01:24:19,952 --> 01:24:22,064 I believe this belongs to you. 1173 01:24:26,277 --> 01:24:29,163 Yeah, this thing is like a... a bad penny. 1174 01:24:29,271 --> 01:24:30,418 Wow! 1175 01:24:31,323 --> 01:24:33,029 So, this is it. 1176 01:24:33,465 --> 01:24:34,992 Uh, yeah, this is it. 1177 01:24:37,245 --> 01:24:41,966 - Business must be good. - Well, you know, it-it has its rewards. 1178 01:24:41,967 --> 01:24:45,295 Yeah... I'll bet. 1179 01:24:47,022 --> 01:24:47,588 Tough day? 1180 01:24:48,342 --> 01:24:50,351 Mm, you could say that. 1181 01:24:52,194 --> 01:24:54,547 Well, you know what? You can just sit back and relax. 1182 01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:56,722 - Mmm... - I got this all covered. 1183 01:25:00,435 --> 01:25:02,746 Spanish wine? 1184 01:25:04,739 --> 01:25:07,193 How thoughtful are we? 1185 01:25:07,194 --> 01:25:09,776 - Here, let me pour that for you. - No, that's okay. 1186 01:25:10,979 --> 01:25:13,449 - You want some? - Sure. 1187 01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:21,514 So... Hitch. Is that, like, a... noun or a verb? 1188 01:25:22,598 --> 01:25:25,802 - Uhh... I guess it depends. - Mmm. 1189 01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:31,840 Let's see. What should we toast to? 1190 01:25:34,972 --> 01:25:38,181 Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. 1191 01:25:38,768 --> 01:25:42,230 But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. 1192 01:25:43,060 --> 01:25:45,777 If you must steal, steal away from bad company. 1193 01:25:46,274 --> 01:25:49,063 If you must cheat, cheat death. 1194 01:25:49,611 --> 01:25:51,163 And if you must drink... 1195 01:25:51,578 --> 01:25:55,209 drink in the moments... that take your breath away. 1196 01:25:57,089 --> 01:25:58,965 Did you just make that up? 1197 01:26:11,406 --> 01:26:15,302 Make yourself at home. Um... I'm gonna... check on the risotto. 1198 01:26:15,716 --> 01:26:20,551 Waw! Look at this! Which one's the music? 1199 01:26:22,897 --> 01:26:25,281 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1200 01:26:26,315 --> 01:26:29,691 And it does... does lights, too? 1201 01:26:31,400 --> 01:26:34,155 Uh, hey. Let me, uh, let me help you out with that. 1202 01:26:34,405 --> 01:26:37,489 Now, this... this is nifty. 1203 01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:39,749 What are you doing? 1204 01:26:40,415 --> 01:26:42,827 How does it work, exactly? 1205 01:26:44,289 --> 01:26:49,288 Well, usually... you have dinner, then you have dessert. 1206 01:26:50,092 --> 01:26:53,718 No, no. No, I mean your thriving business. 1207 01:26:57,844 --> 01:26:59,137 I don't do interviews. 1208 01:27:01,423 --> 01:27:04,724 But if you'd like to get back to the evening, I'd be more than happy to sit and talk. 1209 01:27:04,725 --> 01:27:06,977 Great idea. You start. 1210 01:27:08,313 --> 01:27:13,024 Well... maybe I would if you weren't snarling. 1211 01:27:19,607 --> 01:27:21,158 What if I told you... 1212 01:27:21,676 --> 01:27:26,136 that I know exactly what you do and how you do it? 1213 01:27:26,137 --> 01:27:28,422 And I think it's despicable! 1214 01:27:28,423 --> 01:27:31,381 You know what? We might need to go out to dinner. 1215 01:27:31,382 --> 01:27:34,842 Yeah, there's a great seafood restaurant I'd love to take you to. 1216 01:27:37,325 --> 01:27:38,975 How 'bout you just get a cleaver, butcher? 1217 01:27:39,995 --> 01:27:42,472 - Maybe I will! - What the hell is wrong with you? 1218 01:27:42,808 --> 01:27:44,646 Nothing a front-page story can't cure. 1219 01:27:44,647 --> 01:27:46,271 - Oh, so that's what this is all about? - Uh-huh. 1220 01:27:46,272 --> 01:27:48,811 Albert and Allegra on the front of your crap-ass newspaper? 1221 01:27:48,812 --> 01:27:50,856 - You put them there! - No, you did! 1222 01:27:50,857 --> 01:27:53,942 No, he did! The minute he called you! 1223 01:28:21,647 --> 01:28:23,196 Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi. 1224 01:28:23,595 --> 01:28:27,617 I need to bring my partner, Amir, somewhere amazing for our anniversary. 1225 01:28:28,143 --> 01:28:31,229 Maybe it's not your thing, but... maybe it is. 1226 01:28:31,513 --> 01:28:32,939 What the hell are you talking about, Raoul? 1227 01:28:33,189 --> 01:28:34,876 It's you, no? 1228 01:28:55,637 --> 01:28:59,673 So, my friend? How was she? Pretty good, eh? 1229 01:29:03,516 --> 01:29:06,287 How was she? I'll tell you! She was great! 1230 01:29:20,236 --> 01:29:21,653 - Isn't that the Date Doctor? - No, it's not him. 1231 01:29:21,654 --> 01:29:24,084 - I'm telling you, that's him. - He doesn't look anything like 'im. 1232 01:29:24,085 --> 01:29:27,382 - Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know him? - No. 1233 01:29:28,436 --> 01:29:31,663 I want you to look me in the eye and you tell me he did not hire you. 1234 01:29:31,664 --> 01:29:35,589 Ma'am, I have never seen this man before in my life. 1235 01:29:36,077 --> 01:29:36,895 See you later, Tony. 1236 01:29:36,896 --> 01:29:39,379 Uh, Tony? You have got some serious explaining to do. 1237 01:29:39,679 --> 01:29:41,345 Albert. Hitch. You all right? 1238 01:29:41,346 --> 01:29:44,193 You know what? I can't really, uh, talk right now. I'm kinda... tied up. 1239 01:29:44,930 --> 01:29:46,589 One, two, three. 1240 01:29:54,963 --> 01:29:56,357 Women will remain seated. 1241 01:29:56,579 --> 01:30:00,028 Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer. 1242 01:30:00,029 --> 01:30:02,043 You get two minutes each, four minutes total. 1243 01:30:02,044 --> 01:30:06,466 So... trade your talk time when you hear... 1244 01:30:08,409 --> 01:30:08,870 the gong. 1245 01:30:09,493 --> 01:30:11,240 If it's mutual, you get numbers. 1246 01:30:11,455 --> 01:30:15,114 If not, better luck next time. Okay? 1247 01:30:15,886 --> 01:30:18,583 Ladies... take your seats. 1248 01:30:19,988 --> 01:30:24,065 Case, you are a living testimonial to the triumph of hope over experience. 1249 01:30:24,066 --> 01:30:25,471 Oh, thanks for comin'. 1250 01:30:26,094 --> 01:30:28,853 I know it's lame. I'm sure it's the last thing you feel like doin'. 1251 01:30:29,430 --> 01:30:33,157 I really prefer Rachmaninoff to the heavier romantic composers, 1252 01:30:33,158 --> 01:30:36,488 but... you know, despite the pan-Germanic anti-Semitism... 1253 01:30:36,871 --> 01:30:39,147 I'd still have to say my favorite is Wagner. 1254 01:30:40,443 --> 01:30:41,361 Oh, yeah. 1255 01:30:42,310 --> 01:30:44,369 - Nice talking to you. - Thank you. Okay, bye. 1256 01:30:44,370 --> 01:30:45,405 Bye. 1257 01:30:46,165 --> 01:30:47,245 - Hi. - Hi. 1258 01:30:47,246 --> 01:30:48,418 Excuse me. 1259 01:30:49,717 --> 01:30:50,613 That's my seat, man. 1260 01:30:51,131 --> 01:30:52,452 - Hi. - Hi. 1261 01:30:52,662 --> 01:30:55,121 - Hi. - My name is Ron. Uh, 28. 1262 01:30:55,122 --> 01:30:57,133 Albert Brennaman is a good man. 1263 01:30:58,011 --> 01:31:00,671 In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man. 1264 01:31:00,879 --> 01:31:03,825 I just got out of a five-year relationship. 1265 01:31:03,965 --> 01:31:06,132 I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs... 1266 01:31:06,133 --> 01:31:09,469 And then... you're-you're mad at me for what I do for a living? 1267 01:31:09,470 --> 01:31:10,803 Look, I've already got your number 1268 01:31:10,804 --> 01:31:13,345 so why don't you go consult your conscience? 1269 01:31:13,908 --> 01:31:16,239 - Albert is in love with her. - Oh yeah, just like Sebastian? 1270 01:31:16,240 --> 01:31:18,480 - Is there a problem? - Oh, no, just one sec. 1271 01:31:18,481 --> 01:31:20,899 - What do you have against Allegra anyway? - Nothing. 1272 01:31:21,398 --> 01:31:24,364 My interest is protecting women from assholes like you. 1273 01:31:24,365 --> 01:31:26,109 Oh, I did ice climbing. Once. 1274 01:31:26,110 --> 01:31:28,786 - You don't even know me. - And whose fault is that? 1275 01:31:28,787 --> 01:31:31,613 the sun comes up, the-the ice really starts to fall apart. 1276 01:31:31,614 --> 01:31:32,993 I bet. I-I-I'm sorry. 1277 01:31:32,994 --> 01:31:35,127 - Do you know this guy? - Apparently not. 1278 01:31:35,128 --> 01:31:36,007 You're in my seat. 1279 01:31:36,008 --> 01:31:39,919 Look... You really... I'm doin' you a favor, believe me. 1280 01:31:40,721 --> 01:31:44,757 Basically, I like outdoor sports. But indoor, uh, sports have their place, too. 1281 01:31:44,758 --> 01:31:47,755 There are certain aspects of my job that are secretive, all right? 1282 01:31:47,756 --> 01:31:49,969 And my job is to try to find the truth. 1283 01:31:49,970 --> 01:31:53,721 The truth? Ha! You wouldn't know the truth if it kicked you in the head. 1284 01:31:53,722 --> 01:31:56,142 And if Albert Brennaman has to take a fall for it, so be it. 1285 01:31:56,143 --> 01:31:58,020 Why don't you say what's really pissin' you off? 1286 01:31:58,649 --> 01:31:59,770 Okay, buddy, I've been waiting to talk to her... 1287 01:31:59,771 --> 01:32:02,194 You wanna sit down? Here you go, here you go. Gong! 1288 01:32:02,195 --> 01:32:02,865 Thank you. 1289 01:32:02,865 --> 01:32:03,752 - Excuse me. - Whoa! 1290 01:32:04,024 --> 01:32:06,985 Hi. A-actually, you're not supposed to move. He's... b... um... 1291 01:32:07,196 --> 01:32:08,111 I'm Alex Hitchens. 1292 01:32:08,500 --> 01:32:10,166 - Okay, hi. - No, no, it's okay, really. Go. 1293 01:32:10,167 --> 01:32:12,076 - I'm Casey. - Hi, Casey. 1294 01:32:12,077 --> 01:32:14,704 And I work for a small publishing house in the press department... 1295 01:32:14,911 --> 01:32:17,835 which isn't actually where I wanna be. But, you know, it's a good house, so... 1296 01:32:17,836 --> 01:32:20,682 You handled me. You manipulated me. 1297 01:32:21,142 --> 01:32:24,334 You researched me and you showed me my great-grandfather's signature. 1298 01:32:24,502 --> 01:32:26,522 Wait. You're Ellis Island? 1299 01:32:27,148 --> 01:32:28,691 - I thought that was real sweet. - Thank you. 1300 01:32:28,692 --> 01:32:32,214 - Case, you're not helping. - Uh, excuse me! I'm on a date. 1301 01:32:33,489 --> 01:32:36,149 Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might 1302 01:32:36,150 --> 01:32:38,768 like to have a plan, you know, because he's nervous? 1303 01:32:38,769 --> 01:32:42,822 He's not sure that he could just... walk up to you and you'd respond if he said: 1304 01:32:43,106 --> 01:32:46,360 "I like you."I... like you." 1305 01:32:47,162 --> 01:32:48,695 I... like you! 1306 01:32:48,696 --> 01:32:51,785 - Oh, no, that sounds good to me. - It's true, you can't tell 'em you that you like 'em. 1307 01:32:51,786 --> 01:32:54,918 - I tried that one time. It didn't go well. - It's stupid, I've been crashed and burned on that. 1308 01:32:55,510 --> 01:32:58,329 That is what you did, and I did like you! 1309 01:32:58,579 --> 01:33:01,256 I just didn't know I was being worked over by some professional. 1310 01:33:01,422 --> 01:33:02,473 He doesn't have a badge. 1311 01:33:03,585 --> 01:33:05,834 And, you know, the only time he was sincere or spontaneous 1312 01:33:05,835 --> 01:33:09,184 was when everything was going horribly wrong... or when you were stoned outta your head. 1313 01:33:09,185 --> 01:33:12,800 - Now, I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you? - No, I-I don't think so. 1314 01:33:12,801 --> 01:33:15,528 - You wanna see me be spontaneous? - Sure, you want a Benadryl? 1315 01:33:15,529 --> 01:33:20,267 Hey, you know what? This is really kinda distracting. And I haven't gotten laid in a year! 1316 01:33:26,946 --> 01:33:29,609 We're sorry. Why-why don't you guys get back to your date? 1317 01:33:30,108 --> 01:33:32,950 Um... Or... go somewhere. 1318 01:33:34,073 --> 01:33:35,548 Maybe from the bank? Huh? 1319 01:33:36,150 --> 01:33:37,867 Hey, you know what? If this doesn't work out, you can give 'im a call. 1320 01:33:37,868 --> 01:33:39,411 He might hook you up with Paris Hilton. 1321 01:33:39,412 --> 01:33:43,246 Wait, that's it. That's... You're the, uh, you're the Date Doctor, right? 1322 01:33:43,667 --> 01:33:45,384 Oh, you're the Date Doctor? 1323 01:33:47,717 --> 01:33:50,686 - You're the Date Doctor? - Do we have a problem here? 1324 01:33:50,924 --> 01:33:55,302 Oh, yeah. A big one! What the hell did I ever do to you, huh? 1325 01:33:56,186 --> 01:33:58,555 I'm s... Am I missing something? 1326 01:33:59,315 --> 01:34:00,433 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1327 01:34:00,599 --> 01:34:01,392 All right. 1328 01:34:01,572 --> 01:34:04,312 Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance? 1329 01:34:10,194 --> 01:34:11,064 Wow. 1330 01:34:13,388 --> 01:34:14,029 I don't believe this. 1331 01:34:18,226 --> 01:34:18,827 That's your source? 1332 01:34:20,258 --> 01:34:23,872 - You buried yourself, Alex. - Then you weren't listening. 1333 01:34:24,167 --> 01:34:28,504 I heard every word. You're a scam artist. 1334 01:34:28,580 --> 01:34:32,096 - You trick women into getting... - Into getting outta their own way 1335 01:34:32,097 --> 01:34:36,043 so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance. 1336 01:34:36,177 --> 01:34:39,277 Okay, no, no, no. I want-I want everybody to take a good look at this... right now. 1337 01:34:39,278 --> 01:34:40,890 Because this... this right here... 1338 01:34:41,050 --> 01:34:45,467 this is exactly why fallin' in love is so goddamn hard. 1339 01:34:46,575 --> 01:34:48,732 Sir, let's go. Now! 1340 01:34:51,492 --> 01:34:56,565 And Vance Munson... is a pig! And I refused to work with him. 1341 01:34:57,119 --> 01:34:58,964 You need to get your facts right. 1342 01:35:01,469 --> 01:35:04,372 It's because o' jerks like him that I even have a job. 1343 01:35:07,418 --> 01:35:08,628 Had a job. 1344 01:35:21,559 --> 01:35:23,222 Can you believe that guy? 1345 01:35:24,224 --> 01:35:27,185 Actually... I do. 1346 01:35:48,269 --> 01:35:49,091 You... 1347 01:35:51,419 --> 01:35:53,130 complete me. 1348 01:35:54,755 --> 01:35:56,815 - I might just have... - Shut up. 1349 01:35:57,859 --> 01:35:59,265 Just shut up. 1350 01:36:00,294 --> 01:36:02,390 You had me at "hello". 1351 01:36:30,458 --> 01:36:31,350 No comment. 1352 01:36:32,462 --> 01:36:40,260 Oh, yeah... You know, uh... This is... off the... record. 1353 01:36:45,640 --> 01:36:47,353 I came to apologize. 1354 01:36:47,675 --> 01:36:52,898 I made some assumptions about you based on... nothing, it turns out. 1355 01:36:53,483 --> 01:36:58,866 - And I, uh... I guess Casey's right. My best friend... - Don't worry about it. We're straight. 1356 01:37:00,297 --> 01:37:04,868 Wait... I just I... I should've asked you. You know? But sometimes you're so guarded. 1357 01:37:04,869 --> 01:37:07,595 And I just don't wanna be another reason for you to... 1358 01:37:09,496 --> 01:37:13,549 I'm not someone... who likes to get involved past a certain point. 1359 01:37:13,841 --> 01:37:17,676 And that point... was about a week ago. 1360 01:37:23,610 --> 01:37:28,270 Well... I just wanna say I'm really sorry... 1361 01:37:29,728 --> 01:37:31,675 and I didn't mean to hurt you. 1362 01:37:34,255 --> 01:37:34,779 You didn't. 1363 01:37:39,587 --> 01:37:40,820 That's a relief. 1364 01:38:09,929 --> 01:38:12,475 - Hey, fella. - Yeah, good. You? 1365 01:38:15,432 --> 01:38:17,184 - What you got there? - This? 1366 01:38:17,185 --> 01:38:21,254 I... figured maybe if my heart stops beatin', it wouldn't hurt so much. 1367 01:38:22,902 --> 01:38:24,407 She hasn't called back? 1368 01:38:28,659 --> 01:38:30,203 Hey, you want some coffee? 1369 01:38:35,452 --> 01:38:36,836 I want you to fix it. 1370 01:38:41,339 --> 01:38:42,725 I got nothin', Albert. 1371 01:38:44,677 --> 01:38:47,011 Hey, you-you wanna do somethin'? We should get out tonight. 1372 01:38:47,051 --> 01:38:50,271 You know, honestly? Never knew I could feel like this, um? 1373 01:38:50,272 --> 01:38:53,225 I swear I'm... goin' out of my mind. 1374 01:38:54,412 --> 01:38:56,393 I wanna throw myself off of every building in New York. 1375 01:38:56,394 --> 01:39:01,450 I-I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it, because... then I'll stop thinkin' about 'er. 1376 01:39:01,451 --> 01:39:04,273 Look, you will. Just... give it time. 1377 01:39:04,274 --> 01:39:06,944 That's just it. I don't want to. 1378 01:39:07,202 --> 01:39:10,079 I mean, I've... waited my whole life to feel this miserable. 1379 01:39:10,299 --> 01:39:12,454 And if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, 1380 01:39:12,455 --> 01:39:14,723 then... then this is who I have to be. 1381 01:39:14,955 --> 01:39:19,251 No, you don't. You can change, you can adapt. 1382 01:39:19,678 --> 01:39:22,295 You can make it, so you don't ever have to feel like this. 1383 01:39:22,296 --> 01:39:23,710 Ever again. 1384 01:39:33,694 --> 01:39:36,631 Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you? 1385 01:39:37,231 --> 01:39:38,283 Oh, I get it. 1386 01:39:39,401 --> 01:39:40,864 All right, it's-it's... Let me get this straight. 1387 01:39:41,527 --> 01:39:44,487 You're sellin' this stuff, but you just don't believe in your own product. 1388 01:39:45,157 --> 01:39:48,206 - Love is my life. - No. Love is your job. 1389 01:39:59,330 --> 01:40:00,016 Hey! 1390 01:40:01,753 --> 01:40:04,257 You wanna jump out a plane without a chute, be my guest. 1391 01:40:04,258 --> 01:40:06,733 But forgive me if I don't join you. 1392 01:40:07,636 --> 01:40:09,850 This isn't about love for you at all, is it? 1393 01:40:11,774 --> 01:40:15,617 Yeah... This whole time, I thought I was the coward. 1394 01:40:20,772 --> 01:40:22,960 - Where you going? - Skydiving. 1395 01:40:48,801 --> 01:40:50,426 Allegra! Allegra! 1396 01:40:51,063 --> 01:40:52,816 Allegra! Allegra! 1397 01:40:53,849 --> 01:40:55,218 Taxi! Taxi! 1398 01:40:56,151 --> 01:40:59,108 Allegra! Allegra! 1399 01:41:00,404 --> 01:41:02,647 Taxi! Taxi! 1400 01:41:28,846 --> 01:41:30,140 Mr. Hitchens. 1401 01:41:31,259 --> 01:41:33,126 Miss Cole, thank you very, very much for seeing me. 1402 01:41:33,598 --> 01:41:35,595 You said it was a matter of life and death. 1403 01:41:37,175 --> 01:41:40,606 That man would've sold his soul to make you happy. 1404 01:41:41,235 --> 01:41:43,646 So, what does that make you, the devil? 1405 01:41:45,983 --> 01:41:50,736 My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole. It's to create... opportunities. 1406 01:41:52,277 --> 01:41:53,488 Like the boardroom. 1407 01:41:54,169 --> 01:41:55,797 - Would you have noticed him otherwise? - Yes. 1408 01:41:56,119 --> 01:41:58,455 - Really? - Eventually. 1409 01:42:03,131 --> 01:42:04,077 Maybe. 1410 01:42:07,968 --> 01:42:10,303 How did you know all that stuff about me? 1411 01:42:12,842 --> 01:42:14,601 Well, you really did your homework. 1412 01:42:16,554 --> 01:42:20,396 Like at boarding school, when everyone used to tease me cause I couldn't whistle? 1413 01:42:20,899 --> 01:42:24,321 And having him dance like a buffoon knowing that I can't dance, either? 1414 01:42:24,869 --> 01:42:28,986 Then telling him to drop mustard on his shirt, so I'd feel less like a dork? 1415 01:42:32,409 --> 01:42:37,791 - That was all you, right? - No. Hell, no. 1416 01:42:37,826 --> 01:42:41,844 - That was him? - That's got Albert written all over it. 1417 01:42:43,368 --> 01:42:45,384 Did you put 'im up to the inhaler? 1418 01:42:45,670 --> 01:42:48,304 Stop it. He did not show you that. 1419 01:42:49,419 --> 01:42:51,184 He chucked it right before he kissed me. 1420 01:42:52,172 --> 01:42:56,596 So-so, wait... that... that... stuff worked for you? 1421 01:42:58,315 --> 01:42:59,847 It was adorable. 1422 01:43:07,609 --> 01:43:09,186 What did you do? 1423 01:43:11,193 --> 01:43:12,109 Nothin'. 1424 01:43:17,615 --> 01:43:19,957 Absolutely nothin'. 1425 01:43:22,069 --> 01:43:23,011 That's good. 1426 01:43:24,873 --> 01:43:27,338 - So, this was your plan the whole time, huh? - Hey, Albert. 1427 01:43:27,339 --> 01:43:29,461 You sail off into the sunset with my girl? 1428 01:43:29,462 --> 01:43:30,415 Albert! 1429 01:43:30,714 --> 01:43:31,599 Albert! 1430 01:43:33,544 --> 01:43:34,050 Albert! 1431 01:43:34,633 --> 01:43:36,800 - You were like a brother to me! - Albert! 1432 01:43:39,425 --> 01:43:42,258 - He came here for you. - Who? 1433 01:43:42,259 --> 01:43:43,725 The guy you're chokin'. 1434 01:43:54,166 --> 01:43:57,070 - My God... I love-I love you. - I love you. 1435 01:43:57,071 --> 01:44:00,165 No, I-I.. I really love you. I... love you. 1436 01:44:03,372 --> 01:44:05,749 - I love you more. - Oh, no, I love you more. I really do. 1437 01:44:05,998 --> 01:44:11,003 Hey, uh... I got somewhere I gotta go. So, um... 1438 01:44:41,616 --> 01:44:44,035 - Yeah, who is it? - Hitch. 1439 01:44:44,381 --> 01:44:46,504 Uh... Can I talk to you? 1440 01:44:54,933 --> 01:44:55,719 What? 1441 01:44:55,965 --> 01:44:59,634 Uh... Hey, you almost hit me. 1442 01:45:04,226 --> 01:45:09,018 Look, I just, uh... I wanted to stop by... basically. Um... 1443 01:45:10,112 --> 01:45:11,359 See, this is the thing. 1444 01:45:11,953 --> 01:45:20,572 I, um... This is... weird. I don't have me behind the door, you know. 1445 01:45:21,915 --> 01:45:22,580 Close your mouth. 1446 01:45:26,287 --> 01:45:29,106 Yeah, because I... I knew at some point I-I'd be... 1447 01:45:31,332 --> 01:45:36,382 you know... right-right here. You know... But I-I thought that... you know... 1448 01:45:40,207 --> 01:45:42,395 everything would come out, you know, but it's... you know, it's like... 1449 01:45:44,478 --> 01:45:45,930 That's throwin' me off. 1450 01:45:51,329 --> 01:45:53,609 - Can we close the door? - What? 1451 01:45:53,610 --> 01:45:57,145 I'm sorry. Just... ju... can we... I just need, I need... 1452 01:45:57,486 --> 01:46:00,116 - Are you serious? - No, just... like this-this. 1453 01:46:04,374 --> 01:46:06,245 What do you want, Hitch? 1454 01:46:08,337 --> 01:46:09,177 You. 1455 01:46:12,385 --> 01:46:16,386 For-for... a whole lotta reasons that don't make any sense to me. 1456 01:46:17,811 --> 01:46:20,755 I mean... What, we've been on... three dates? 1457 01:46:20,919 --> 01:46:23,681 But, that's... See, that's what's crazy. 1458 01:46:23,682 --> 01:46:26,720 That's what's crazy, because I know. 1459 01:46:26,721 --> 01:46:28,138 I know deep... 1460 01:46:28,430 --> 01:46:33,285 like just... down, just... in this area... 1461 01:46:33,978 --> 01:46:36,188 that... I just know... 1462 01:46:37,523 --> 01:46:38,524 that I want... 1463 01:46:39,819 --> 01:46:46,585 I wanna be... miserable. Like... really miserable. 1464 01:46:47,658 --> 01:46:48,491 Cause, hey... 1465 01:46:48,663 --> 01:46:53,246 if that's what it takes... for me to be happy... then... 1466 01:46:55,588 --> 01:46:57,153 Wait, that didn't come out right. That... 1467 01:46:57,590 --> 01:46:59,467 What the hell is wrong with you? 1468 01:46:59,682 --> 01:47:03,054 - Nothing! - No. No, no, not, no, not you. 1469 01:47:04,348 --> 01:47:06,301 I'm-I'm talkin' to me. 1470 01:47:27,536 --> 01:47:29,330 Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda. 1471 01:47:29,614 --> 01:47:30,425 Hey. 1472 01:47:33,971 --> 01:47:35,461 I'll just put this in the car. 1473 01:47:49,719 --> 01:47:51,431 Maybe it's like what you said. 1474 01:47:51,599 --> 01:47:55,726 We should just both go our separate ways and then we'll do just fine. 1475 01:48:07,446 --> 01:48:09,501 What if fine isn't good enough? 1476 01:48:14,455 --> 01:48:16,377 What if I want extraordinary? 1477 01:48:17,377 --> 01:48:18,667 No such thing. 1478 01:48:31,097 --> 01:48:33,397 I'm just as scared as you are, Sara. 1479 01:48:33,895 --> 01:48:37,354 But I'm right here, and our time is right now. 1480 01:48:37,404 --> 01:48:39,071 Oh, yeah? Well, what about before? 1481 01:48:39,072 --> 01:48:42,272 Sara, I am a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time? 1482 01:48:42,273 --> 01:48:45,194 Well, I'm a realist, and I know what love does to people. 1483 01:48:45,491 --> 01:48:47,152 - No, you don't. - Keys. 1484 01:48:47,862 --> 01:48:48,404 Keys. 1485 01:48:49,323 --> 01:48:51,786 There you go. Right here. 1486 01:48:54,993 --> 01:48:57,837 I don't know who this is... and I don't care. 1487 01:48:58,300 --> 01:49:03,043 What I do know... is he'll never... feel about you the way that I do. 1488 01:49:05,227 --> 01:49:07,922 - You know how to drive a stick? - Both o' you, shut up! 1489 01:49:15,216 --> 01:49:17,525 - You okay? - Yeah. No, I'm fine. 1490 01:49:18,428 --> 01:49:21,074 You'll never be fine, and neither will I! 1491 01:49:24,065 --> 01:49:25,411 Maybe I should drive. 1492 01:49:26,483 --> 01:49:28,503 Are you trying to get yourself killed? 1493 01:49:29,136 --> 01:49:29,907 If that's what it takes. 1494 01:49:30,156 --> 01:49:31,295 Sara, what happened? 1495 01:49:31,296 --> 01:49:34,160 - He jumped on the car. - Why? 1496 01:49:35,159 --> 01:49:36,668 Because that's what people do. 1497 01:49:37,658 --> 01:49:41,291 They leap... and hope to God they can fly. 1498 01:49:46,922 --> 01:49:48,137 Cause otherwise... 1499 01:49:49,219 --> 01:49:51,733 we just... drop like a rock... 1500 01:49:52,349 --> 01:49:54,428 wondering the whole way down: 1501 01:49:55,181 --> 01:49:58,980 "Why in the hell did I jump?" 1502 01:50:00,558 --> 01:50:04,192 But here I am, Sara. Fallin'. 1503 01:50:05,232 --> 01:50:09,415 And there's only one person... that makes me feel like I can fly. 1504 01:50:11,780 --> 01:50:12,742 That's you. 1505 01:50:18,118 --> 01:50:20,856 So... you kinda like me, huh? 1506 01:50:22,044 --> 01:50:22,789 Nah. 1507 01:50:24,221 --> 01:50:25,309 I love you. 1508 01:50:26,714 --> 01:50:29,257 I love you, and I knew it from the first... 1509 01:50:40,006 --> 01:50:42,476 If I say it back now, it'll sound so stupid. 1510 01:50:43,229 --> 01:50:43,993 Sara! 1511 01:50:45,326 --> 01:50:49,622 Maria, this is the guy I was telling you about. Hitch... Hitch, that's my sister... Maria. 1512 01:50:49,775 --> 01:50:51,651 And that's her husband, Tom. 1513 01:50:53,111 --> 01:50:53,740 Hey. 1514 01:50:56,523 --> 01:50:57,248 Her husband. 1515 01:51:39,409 --> 01:51:42,740 - Where's your date? - Oh, don't have one. 1516 01:51:49,009 --> 01:51:50,378 I know. Shocking, huh? 1517 01:51:53,879 --> 01:51:56,729 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1518 01:52:03,767 --> 01:52:04,725 Are you all right? 1519 01:52:06,477 --> 01:52:07,787 Grandma, what happened? 1520 01:52:08,480 --> 01:52:12,165 This young lady just saved my life. 1521 01:52:16,628 --> 01:52:18,578 Ask her to dance. 1522 01:52:18,826 --> 01:52:22,287 Oh... Well... if you insist. 1523 01:52:23,255 --> 01:52:26,462 - I'm Casey. - Charles Wellington. 1524 01:52:27,624 --> 01:52:30,705 - Oh, and this... - Oh, forget it. Just go. 1525 01:52:44,055 --> 01:52:45,599 Basic principles: 1526 01:52:47,244 --> 01:52:48,560 There are none.