Well, what did people think? Uh, someone besides...
- OK, Deacon, go ahead. - It felt like wish fulfillment,
to me, right?
- In what way? - Like, OK. Something that...
like, something I didn't buy that she would really do.
I'm not saying, like, you, Sarah, like, I don't know you.
I'm just saying the character of Sarah in the story.
- I didn't buy it. Just felt totally disingenuous. - OK, yeah,
- we got it, Deacon.
Sarah, what do you think of that? First of all, was this,
was this story based on a date you really went on?
Well, sadly it was.
No, not sadly. That's good. It reads that way, it reads authentic.
It reads like you were there. And this guy, uh,
Dan, he really spoke to the waiter that way?
- Spoke to you that way? - He did. Almost verbatim, actually.
- I'm not saying that he didn't say whatever... - Shh. Shush, shush.
Deacon, Deacon, please. Two seconds.
Did you, Sarah, really pretend to go to the bathroom and never come back on this date?
Well, see, I should've and honestly thought about it...
- Oh, my God. See? - Deacon! Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Sarah.
Sorry.
What really happened after?
'Cause something happened.
- Come on, come on. To hell with all these people.
- To hell with Deacon.
- OK. - Tell me what happened.
Tell me what happened.
If you, if you want to.
- OK. - Really?
OK, oh. This is gonna be good, I can tell already by the look on your face.
Buckle up.
Well, we went back to his apartment
and he asked.
- Uh-huh. - You really want me to say?
- Yes! I think we all do.
Well, he asked to...
if he could
jerk off on my butt, and I let him.
Dan jerked off on your butt.
- And then did he just leave?
- And you didn't write that?
Oh, my God! I wish Dan would jerk off on my butt
so I could write that story right now.
That's amazing. How many people respond more to the jerking
off on the butt bit than they did in the entire restaurant scene?
Look at that! Look at that.
- Come on, Deacon!
- Yeah. - Yeah, 'cause it's fucking gold. And do you know why?
It's real. We're writers.
We're lucky we get to turn these embarrassing, sometimes painful things
into art.
We get to cheer people up with it.
What a great gift you can give people. What a great gift you can give yourself.
We're lucky we get to do that.
Embarrass yourself, Sarah.
Write what hurts.
Hello?
- Josh. - Hold on. Hold on.
Are you up?
- Josh, are you up? - Yeah.
- You're up. OK. Hi. - Is she dead?
- Just tell me that she died. - No, Grandma is not dead.
Listen, I need a place to stay tonight, OK?
Can I please crash at your place, please?
Jackie, no. I was at the hospital
till one o'clock. Are you all right?
- Sorry, it's my sister. Go back to... - I'm fine but,
but I need a place to stay, OK? I literally got into a huge fight.
What did you fight about?
Uh, nothing. Who are you talking to right now?
What? Nobody. What do you mean nothing.
What do you mean nobody. I just heard you say, "Go back to sleep, it's my sister"
Somebody there with you? Is that why you're not letting me up?
Come on, man. It's late. I gotta meet Runciter at 7:30 in the morning, so.
What time is it, even? Oh, my God.
- I need you to call me an Uber. - Why?
- My credit card's not working... - What do you mean?
and I don't understand why. Just do this for me!
All right. Jesus. Fine, hold on.
- I had a horrible day. Spent the whole day at the hospital. - OK, I'm doing it.
- Even worse than... - How about, how about an Uber Pool, huh?
- It'll be fun meeting people. - Josh, I'm not getting in an Uber Pool...
- OK, OK. - ... at 4:00 a.m. by myself.
OK, it's coming.
Thank you.
Fuck.
- Hi. How are you. - Could I have the sesame
- uh, sesame bagel toasted. - could I have the bagel
- not toasted, regular. - A little bit of butter just on one side.
- And tofu scallion Cream cheese? But not too much. - A peach Snapple in a to-go cup
- with a lid and some ice with... - An iced coffee with a little almond
- milk, not too much. - ... a straw, that would be great. Thank you.
I don't like using these apps. We should support yellow cabs.
- You know? - Mm-hmm.
There aren't going to be any left to hail
- when you need them. - Absolutely.
Um, so...
What was did you fight with Owen about?
I don't want to talk about that.
I want to talk about your gorgeous immigrant.
Oh, Caterina?
- Yeah, her. - I met her in Italy.
She's a student at the Brooklyn Shakespeare Conservatory.
She's an actress.
- Actor. - Met her in Florence?
Yeah, when I was teaching there last summer.
OK, 'cause you were a teacher, yeah.
I taught play writing, she's an actress.
- So, she's your student. - She's a student.
A grad student. Not my student.
- Hey, hey, hey. - And I feel fine about it.
And you live together now.
Well, she likes my apartment, I like the company.
- Yeah, I get lonely since Julie left. - So, fucking great.
- I'm happy for you guys. I think it's really... - Thank you.
I think it's a really exciting step for you.
Thank you.
What are you doing here?
Mom bailed so I slept here.
- Ah. - You just missed Runciter.
What? what do you mean I missed him? He wasn't supposed to be here till 7:30.
- Dave, it's 7:05. - Well, to tell you, I barely got two minutes with him.
- He came early, that's why I stayed here. - Well, I wish you had called me
- 'cause I had questions for him. - Well, you know, why don't you write it down, Josh.
- Maybe I will. - OK, maybe you should.
- Keep your thoughts in order. - Yeah, thank you
- for spending the night. - Yeah, well, how is she doing? Is she still coughing so much?
- I haven't heard her cough since two a.m. - Holy shit.
- She slept through the night. - What?
This medication they gave her for the fluid in her lungs, the...
- Priceledone. - Pregnasone.
- Prednisone. - Presone.
- Prednisone. What'd you say? - Exactly. It's really good.
It's causing a lot of strain on her kidneys, so
She's gonna have to go on dialysis this week if she keeps using it.
- She's gonna have to go on dialysis? - Oh. What about the radiation?
Would she be able to finish the radiation treatments?
- I'm gonna go in there. You guys deal with this. - OK. Good, go.
- All right, well, what do you say... - Grandma and Aunt Allie want
- Peterson to chime in, so. - Well, where's Aunt Allie, then?
- I dunno! - I got you a bagel.
I don't want a bagel. I got to go to work.
Hey! Well, thanks for staying over.
Yeah.
So, OK. All right.
- Are you drinking that all there? - Yeah.
- I drink a lot of coffee lately. - I don't know if that's so good for you.
- Actually, I read that it's fine. - Hey, Grandma!
- Ooh! - Ooh!
- Sweetheart, look at you. - Wow. You look
- so much better. - Because I finally slept.
Thank God I wasn't up half the night coughing.
- I was going out of my mind. - I know.
- Good old Pregslidone. - I know, it's true.
- She slept for seven hours. - Wow.
- She looks hot. - Yeah.
Well, they gave me a pill after you left
- and I went right out. - Yeah, your skin looks so much better.
You look so much warmer, like, more color. You want another shake with ice?
- No, no. Please, no. - I got it. I know but she...
Just sit down. Where did David go?
- He left. He had to go to work. - Yeah, he had to go.
- He's mad at Josh. - Why?
Oh, 'cause Josh fucked his nanny.
- And then she quit. - Don't...
Grandma, we dated for two months,
- it was really nice, and... - His nanny?
Uh, his nanny, yes. We really cared about each other.
- Don't tell her the story like that. - She likes gossip.
- I do. - Mm-hmm.
Why don't you tell her about how you showed up at 4 a.m.
at my apartment after you fought with Owen.
Or, better yet, tell her why you're not talking to dad.
- Mm-hmm. - Some juicy gossip.
Do you know what? I really would, but like David
and unlike you, I have a job.
- Uh. - So I have to be somewhere very soon.
I don't understand why you say this.
- I'm a professor. - Yeah.
You're an adjunct professor.
I know. An adjunct professor.
- What is an adjunct? - It's like, I haven't gotten full professor.
- It's kind of like a professor. - It is.
- OK, I have to go to work. - OK. All right.
But I love you so much, and I'm going to see you at 6:30.
- OK? I'm going to be back. - 6:30.
- Muah! - See you later.
Look at me.
I don't like you and David fighting.
I agree, I don't think he should be bringing his negative energy here.
- By the way, where's Mom and... - I'm coming in for a kiss.
- Oh, OK. - Because I love you.
- Yeah. Go, dear. Don't be late. - Don't move.
- OK. - If you move I will be mad at you.
- If you leave this room I will press charges...
- Yeah. - ... against you.
- She's always been musical. - I'm fun.
Yeah, that's really fun.
- Take care. Don't be late. - Where's Mom and Aunt Allie?
- Who? - Mom and Aunt Allie, where are they?
Oh, like I care.
Hey. Melissa, it's me, Josh.
Trying you again. I'm sorry I keep calling you.
I'd love to resolve the situation
for the sake of David's girls who I know miss their nanny.
- Hey, sorry. - Alan? Alan?
Hey! Yeah.
OK, so, sorry about that, if you heard that. Uh, I hope to talk
to you soon, and that'd be great if you got back to me. OK, bye-bye.
- Hey, how's it going? - I'm sorry I'm late.
OK. Oh, that's OK. Look at you, you look like Jewish Timothée Chalamet.
- Unless he is Jewish. - I dunno.
- I'm more Jewish. - Thank you.
- Where's, where's your mom? - She left,
but she said you needed somebody here.
Left? What are you talking about? She hasn't been here, I was here all day.
No, no. She left, left, like,
- on a plane. She's going to Istanbul. - Wait, who went to Istanbul?
My mother, she has a trade show.
- Hold on. - She told Grandma.
Aunt Allie went to Istanbul just now?
With her mother in the hospital, uh.
- She had a, she had a trade show. - Yeah, OK.
That's interesting.
It's all right, uh. Listen, will you sit down for a sec?
- I gotta run out for a few hours. - Uh-huh.
- And we've been trying to keep someone around... - Sure.
so she has a familiar face, you know, when she wakes up.
Would you mind just hanging out with her?
- Oh, like, alone? - Well, yeah, alone. It's easy.
- She's... - What does she look like? Scary?
Well, look. She looks a little different. You know, she's a little
paler and a little slim, but mentally she's all there.
It's just Grandma so just talk to her. It's easy.
Hang out. If she wants to chat, you know, talk her up.
Keep her distracted. That's the big thing.
Play Jenga with her, she loves that.
- OK? - Yeah.
- OK. Thanks, Josh. - All right? OK.
- Where you going? - Huh?
- Where you going? - I got class so I really got to go,
but thank you.
It's going to be fine. You're going to be great.
Thanks. Bye.
Dana's talking and while they're doing that,
y'all are sitting here making fucking noises at each other
- like little Daniel... - We're, no.
- Scott, I'm not talking to you. - You're yelling.
- But am I talking to you right now? No! - And cursing.
- I'm not! - I'm standing up for my friend, OK?
Because y'all always do that.
Y'all always stick together.
That is exactly what she is saying.
Exactly, like, how are you gonna cut me off
while I'm speaking up for Dana, who you weren't even listening to
- in the first fucking place. - Right.
That is the fucking definition of misogyny,
- and y'all do it in every class. - Don't fucking call me
- a misogynist. - Don't be it then! Don't be it!
Get your hands out of my face, respect my face.
OK, OK, OK. So, he's a misogynist,
I'm a racist, Sebastian's a fucking...
- You're not listening to her. - ... xenophobe.
That's not what she's saying.
- You have to listen, that's the problem. - I am listening.
I am listening. OK?
And anyone that does something that you don't like or don't agree with
is sexist, or racist, or homophobic.
- Josh. I'm done. - And it's always a straight white male
- and they're not allowed to defend themselves. - I'm not staying.
- I get it now. I get it. - That is not, that is not...
No, no. That's it.
I'm sick of fucking straight white men.
Every fucking teacher in this school is a straight white male.
And they never, ever call you out on it.
Not one of them. But now I'm calling you out, OK?
I'm sick of the disrespect, y'all are disgusting, and I'm over it.
- I'm calling you out. - Come on, Tiara, uh,
that, that's not entirely accurate.
All due respect, and I mean that, uh,
well, the statement about the teachers
- is not accurate. - See?
- No, I appreciate. - Y'all need to just listen!
You legitimately cannot just shut up and listen!
I'm sorry, Josh. But it is true.
- Josh. - It is the fucking truth.
Josh, what do you think?
What do you think, bro? What do you think?
Well...
It...
Absolutely, it's our priority.
- Our policy is always wait and see.
Hey, there. Oh, sorry, Terry. You want to see me?
Yeah, Josh, would you mind closing the door behind you?
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Everything OK?
- Yeah. - Hey, Terry.
- Hey, man. Take a seat. - Sure.
- Uh, thanks for coming in so quickly. - Yeah.
I know your grandmother's in the hospital, how's she doing?
You know, she's actually a little better now. Thanks for asking.
Um, look. Guys, I think I know what this is about, I had a
bit of a crazy class today, as I'm sure you heard.
And, um, I didn't totally know how to handle the situation
so I'm glad you called me in, I was actually gonna talk to you first, Mary.
This is actually about, um,
- Jennifer Mann, um... - Oh, no, she wasn't in the class.
Uh, this is about Thursday's class not today.
- Jennifer. - Yeah, she spoke privately
- with me, um. - OK.
On Friday.
Yeah, 'cause she was absent for the first time
- this week. - Yeah, uh, it's nothing major,
it sounds like an honest mistake,
but we just wanted to address some things
- she brought to our attention. - OK, yeah.
Well...
she brought an incident, to me, where
she felt unsafe in your classroom, last week.
- Jennifer did? In my classroom? - Yeah, she was,
she was quite shaken, actually.
Like, I don't know what this is about, but I can tell you that I,
I feel kind of unsafe in my class most days.
Uh... did you talk about
masturbating on a woman's butt in your class?
OK. OK.
Um...
short answer is, yes. Uh,
Terry, hold on. All in context of this story
written by a girl in the class, another girl.
Uh, Sara Reddy. Yeah, I provoked
a conversation about it but it was...
certainly did not come from me. It wasn't an experience I had.
Never happened to me, I don't know
about Terry, but, um,
I thought the whole class was really into it, but.
I certainly want to apologize for anything that happened in that class.
- Josh. - Look, I know you didn't mean to.
I know you're a nice guy, gosh.
Enthusiastic. And some of these students can be very sensitive.
- I guess so. - But, but in the current climate...
Josh.
- What's going on? - Josh.
You pressured a student to reveal
an intimate sexual moment
in front of an entire classroom.
- We can't, we can't do that. - Fine, OK. Let's talk
to Sarah Reddy, why don't we bring her in here
and ask her how she felt about it, because
it was her story. - Sarah wasn't triggered, actually.
Jennifer Mann was.
And she's a sexual assault survivor, so.
Jesus, I didn't know that, really?
- Yeah. - Yeah, it's awful.
It's why Robbie Corbit left the program.
- Robbie? - Robbie.
Oh, my God. I wrote him a letter of recommendation.
- But Jennifer claims that, uh... - Ay-ya-yay!
other students felt uncomfortable, as well.
They didn't know what to say and,
you know, the whole thing's a mess.
- We're just trying to... - Look, I'm sorry.
That's awful about Jennifer, I had no Idea.
But I, but I,
I take issue with the fact that other kids in the class
were in any way upset. That just feels totally untrue.
- You weren't there. - I'm hearing what's going on and we're trying to deal
- with this situation. - Yes, but just from one person. A person that, I guess, was...
A student.
Yes, who had this experience. I can't control that.
People were engaged. It was provocative, it was actually a great class.
I know you're new here. And I know you're new to teaching.
Oh, my God. Come on! It's a creative writing class!
These are adults! These are kids who are not kids!
- That's the point! - Do you see that you're yelling at Mary right now?
When she's just trying to do her work.
He's not yelling at me,
he's just trying to...
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Let's, let's,
let's take a deep breath.
It's a he said she said thing, but mostly she said, I can't say anything.
- So, you fucked her? - What?
No. Never, I've never even been alone with her.
Cat, I said to another wom...
it's very hard to explain. I, I was talking
about this other woman's story, which was about sex.
And maybe I took it too far and was inappropriate, I,
- I don't know. - What woman? Like,
- how old is your student? - They're young.
Like, 20, 21, but they don't like to be called girls,
they prefer woman, it's more, um,
- more equal. - OK.
I'm not being clear, it was, it was nothing I did,
it was just words. And so, something I said, some word I used
- triggered her. - What do you mean triggered?
Uh, triggered, like, reminded of something bad.
In this woman's case, uh, I heard something maybe
happened with her, something bad happened with her and a man.
You know, like, she was... like, something bad.
And something I said made her think about it.
But, so you want to fuck them?
- Your students? - No.
Uh, that's a complicated question
I... not really.
- They're young, they're, like... - I'm almost same age.
You're European, it's different.
Can we leave my thoughts out of this and just stick with my actions?
- But thoughts are kind of important, too. - Why?
- Well, maybe...
Man.
- Maybe that's them. - You know, you should try
adapting to our culture a little bit more while you're here.
Hi, Officer, uh,
is there... is there a problem?
I'm looking for Jacqueline Cohn.
- Is she here? - Jack...
Just one minute, please.
- Uh, hey, Jackie? - Yeah.
You know...
what the fuck is this?
What do you mean? I'm recording here.
I can't record at Owen's. I'm not asking him.
- Remember? I told you. - I didn't realize you were gonna record here.
I'm really fucking high, uh, I've had a long day, and
there's a cop at the door
- asking for you. - Oh, he's here?
Yeah. Who's he, what is going on?
- Jackie, what are you doing? - He's a friend, relax.
Can I... can you... What is that shit?
It's like Adderall but it's not. It's prescribed.
- What do you mean, it's like Adderall? - Yeah. Relax!
Do you wanna know what I think about what happened in your class?
No, I don't.
OK, fine.
But, can I ask why?
Yeah, 'cause I know you won't
take my side on principle, and you'll tell me I'm wrong,
you won't hear me out, and it'll
hurt my feelings that you don't have my back on this.
OK?
OK. I'll tell you later.
Hello and welcome to this edition of "The Latest",
I'm your host, Jackie Cohn, we have quite the show for you today.
I've got Black Lives Matter activist Eugene Wilkes,
and over here from Blue Lives Matter,
we've got NYPD Police Sergeant, Michael Morrissey,
as well as All Lives Matter enthusiast,
shall we say, Monica Erickson.
Now, before I encourage our listeners
to perhaps turn down their headphones,
how about a word from our sponsor?
Blue Apron, oh, the energy in the room has shifted already.
Tired of ordering unhealthy takeout
or spending too much at overpriced restaurants?
Getting a huge vigorous nod here from the sergeant.
Well, you're in luck, sir,
'cause Blue Apron has a solution for you.
Look what I got, look.
- Come on, get...
Ow!
No, no, no, no, no.
- No.
- Oh, the balls!
Ow.
OK, here we go, rackets out.
Get ready.
Coming at you.
OK, well, you got to...
I don't want to play this game.
Just follow through, you're going to get it.
- Just cross the court. - You know what I like?
- What? - Baseball.
Yeah, OK. I like baseball, too, but we're doing this now.
I want to see the Yankees.
- Yeah. - I want to see Derek Jeter.
Well, Jeter's retired,
and I actually heard a lot of women who met him in person
- were a little disappointed. - That's bullshit.
Let's try one more time. Serving up.
Whoa! That's a home run!
Whoa! A hundred points!
- Woo! - You're being an asshole.
- Wow. - Woo!
That's impressive.
Hey, can I ask you something?
I get a little embarrassed talking about sex.
I think you're very good.
Yeah?
- Yeah. - And you are, too, obviously.
I just noticed that you are into kind of a rougher sex,
is that fair to say?
- You don't like this? - No.
Cat, I really like it, I like it so much.
I just wonder if there's a way to incorporate
just a little sweetness, affection,
even if it's just, like, 20%.
Sweet talk?
Sweet talk, that's nice, yeah.
Well, I just wonder if we could
be a little bit more intimate, do you know?
And not hit each other as much.
Like, kissing.
Perfect suggestion, yes,
'cause then it lets the other person know right away,
"this is consensual."
What do you think?
- I don't know about that. - OK, well,
we're basically on the same page. It'll be fine.
So, you see anything that you want,
put a sticker on. As long as it doesn't have another sticker. Here.
- What are you... I don't understand. - I'll find out how to get it
delivered, so don't worry about that.
- I'm not worried about that. I... this is... - Pamela was here earlier,
she wants the couch but she doesn't want the bed.
It's brand new, I just bought it.
What are you... What if grandma comes back?
- Where's she supposed to... - And this chair.
This is what I wanted to ask you.
Look at this. It's beautiful.
It's nice, it's really nice.
- I, I... - I mean, I think it would look very nice
in your apartment. It's masculine - Minus the cats, maybe.
- I wouldn't call it masculine. - It's red leather.
- Do you think it's a little... - Josh, do you want the chair or not?
- No. Thank you. - No, OK.
- Thank you, though. - What about the Keurig
- coffee maker? - Mom, I got to...
- That's also brand new. - I feel a little strange doing this
with Grandma still in the hospital, you know?
I feel like we should be a little bit more
- optimistic about her chances. - All right, Jackie
- will take the Keurig. Jackie will take it. - Fuck her, no.
I want the Keurig, she can have the red chair with the cats.
Owen owns all the furniture anyway.
- But my concern... - And look at all the china,
all of the glassware, all of the silverware,
- all of it, look at that. - Yeah, it's a lot.
Great front over there. If nobody wants it,
I'm going to get rid of it. That's what I decided today, she has too much shit.
Mom, you know, can you just breathe for a sec?
- Why don't we sit? Sit down. - All right, OK.
Let's just talk, like, you're going a mile a minute.
- Good. - OK.
- How you... - What do you want to talk about?
Well, what do you want to talk about?
- I... - What, is everything OK?
- Do you feel OK? - Well, I've been a little stressed.
You look a little pale. Don't get sick on me,
- I got enough on my plate. - I know.
I know. I...
I've been having a hard time
swinging the rent since Julie moved out,
and that teaching job is not cutting it.
Uh, I tried to supplement with some other jobs.
I looked into Uber and I just don't have the time.
I have to prepare classes, so...
- I would pay you back.
That's what you wanted to talk to me about?
- That's not the only... - Do you want to borrow money from me?
- If you can... - Go to your father.
He's got more money than God.
Do me a favor, my mother is dying.
- I know, Mom, I'm... - You don't know.
Every day, I have to spend $1,400
to keep her comfortable in that room,
and I'm going to do it, by God, if I have to
empty out my whole freaking savings.
- OK, OK. - Keep that woman happy, OK?
Look, I'll handle all this myself, my sister is in Turkey,
her kids are fucking beyond useless!
Well, you know, Alan's at the hospital as we speak...
Big deal!
Maybe I need somebody here,
maybe I need somebody to take care
- and support me. - OK.
OK. OK, OK, I'm here.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned that other stuff.
You're just putting tags on her furniture
and talking about moving the bed, it's hard for me, you know?
It's confusing because I'm having these
very lucid conversations with Grandma there,
'cause she's still alive.
And here, it's like we're throwing dirt on her grave.
- OK. - Mom.
- That's it! - Oh, come on!
Ah, you know, no, I'm not going to take the bait.
Mom!
Oh, Ma, OK, I'm sorry, all right?
- I...
Slam the door in my...
OK, fine, is her bed Tempur-Pedic?
I'll take that, I'll take the bed.
So I think it sounds, you know,
sounds positive, the Prednisone.
Dad? Dad.
Right, once you get liquid in the lungs,
it's just a matter of time.
You know, once my mother got that, it was just a matter of weeks.
Well, she's not coughing anymore. She's sleeping through the night now.
- Well, that's good. - Yeah, it's great, but it's weird
'cause Mom's cleaning out her apartment,
Aunt Allie's left the country, it's very confusing.
Would you come see her with me,
and just help me understand what's going on?
I think she'd really like it.
Well, Sherry really wouldn't like that,
- and I think you know that. - Fuck her, Dad.
Fuck her. Or...
OK, fine, lie to her, then.
Grandma's been like your own mother for the last 25 years,
more than your own mother even, I heard you say that once...
- Dad.
She texting you again?
- It's like a teenager. - Dad.
Dad, can I get this one, though?
I thought you wanted the skateboarding one.
Dad, please, can I get this one?
Dad, he's talking to you.
- What? - He wants another one.
Uh, is that the one you want?
I want Commander 2 and Skateboarding Extreme.
Mom said you could only get one,
so, um, pick the one you like the best and then we'll get that.
- No! Both! - Hey, whoa, buddy,
don't yell at your dad in the store.
Right? Can you tell him?
He's getting you a game for no reason.
Do you realize how cool that is? You have... we have the coolest dad in the world.
But I want both ones...
Well, you can't have both!
Hey, take it easy with him, will you?
OK, all right. Hey, look. I'll tell you what, next week it's your birthday,
listen, it's your birthday, so I will buy you... what is it?
Command 2, I'll buy you that for your birthday.
- No. - And you know what? Wait, wait, wait, there's more.
I'll even get you the gun that it comes with.
And I'll buy it myself so we can play together!
It'll be so fun! We can shoot each other's brains out.
Josh, I didn't ask you
and I don't care what you say.
I asked my father.
- He's buying you that... - No! Shut up!
No, listen to me, he's buying you that
for no reason. It's not your birthday.
It's not Hanukkah. I never got video games for no reason.
- Just shut up, Josh, OK? - You shut up!
- OK, OK, OK. - You shut up!
OK, OK.
- This is crazy! - OK.
Listen, um,
I tell you what, uh, we'll call mommy,
OK? You call mommy
and if she says yes, then you can get the second one.
That's how you're handling this?
Where is.
- Fine, I just need to know
What time you will be back?
Because Alan is texting me!
Hey, Benji, uh...
Don't call me that, my name's Ben.
All right, let's go outside, play some basketball.
- What do you say? - Nope.
Come on, we'll get you,
our dad, wherever he is,
and big brother.
We'll have a boys day outside.
What do you say? You can play those games later.
You're not my brother.
Well,
I mean, I'm your half-brother, so,
- yeah, I'm your brother. - No.
Gus is my brother.
Gus is your brother? Who's Gus?
- Gus - Dad, who, who the fuck is Gus?
Gus? Gus is Ben's friend.
Oh. So, he's not your brother, he's your friend.
No, Gus is my brother.
- Why are you here? - Hey, hey, hey.
Be nice to Joshie.
Gus lives in this building, it's his best friend.
Uh, Dad, does...
can't believe I'm asking you this, but
does he not know that I'm his brother?
It's a little confusing for him right now.
I wonder why that is.
What's going on with Sherry in there? She not gonna come out and say, hi?
- Should I go in there? - No, you should not.
- I'll go do a pop in. - That's really not a very good idea.
I don't think that's a good idea.
- You sure? - We're not having the best of days.
Do you want me to go?
No.
Bye-bye.
You wanted to talk, what do you want to talk about?
I told you not to take a two-year lease on that apartment.
Yeah, well, you also told me that Julie was the girl I was supposed to marry
- and I should move in with her. - Well, maybe you should have married her.
I always thought she was right for you,
plus she would have shared half the rent.
- What about the play, any news? - No, no, don't ask.
Options at this point are too depressing.
Believe me, if that were an option, I'd explore it.
- I wouldn't... - OK. OK.
I'll write you a check, but only for two months.
You got to get your life back in order.
I know.
Thank you, Dad, I'm sorry.
You're sorry, I'm the one writing the check.
Hey, one day, you'll do this
for your own kids, OK?
Yeah.
Uh, listen.
Go take good care of Grandma for me, huh?
Please come see her.
Come on, I really think you could regret not going
if something happens to her.
And you got to talk to Jackie.
It's insane that you're not talking.
I know, I know.
I just, I'm doing the best I can here.
All right.
All right, I'll see you.
Give Grandma a kiss for me, huh?
Hey, hey.
Hey, we got some new pictures
- for you of the girls. - Oh, wonderful.
- Where are they, though? - Hey.
Can you hand me those pictures that we brought?
- They should be my purse.
Yeah, I know.
Here, here, here, have a little water,
have a little water.
- Wipe it off. - It's me.
I know, that's why I'm doing that.
- Wonderful. - Hey, Mom, you know what?
You got to tell Josh and Jackie to clean this shit up.
You leave all this coffee and stuff...
- That's why you're here, babe. - OK.
- You're OK? - I'm great.
- Thank you, dear. - OK, OK.
- Mom, do you want anything? - Yes.
A Valium.
OK, I got you that.
Alan?
Earth to Alan, you want something?
Some Skittles?
You want some, any drink?
No, you're good? OK.
- All right. - Is Uncle Josh
going to marry Melissa?
That is a very good question. Melissa, your nanny?
You should marry Owen...
- Yeah. - And Uncle Josh should get married to Melissa.
- Oh. - Yikes.
Well, guys, look, you know how Aunt Jackie and Uncle Josh,
we like to talk to you guys not like you're kids, right?
- Who has the blue? - Because we respect you and we think that you understand
that relationships are complicated.
That's right, not everybody gets married and has babies
like your mommy and daddy did, and that's OK too.
Women don't just have to cook, and clean,
and just have babies anymore.
- Oh-ho, exactly. - Exactly, Annabeth.
Also, hate to say it,
but kids are very expensive, especially in Manhattan
which is where I really want to live right now.
- That's right. What is this? - What's that?
We made get well cards
at school for More Grandma.
- Oh. - Oh, my God.
- Aw! - Feel bitter, More.
- Better!
Better, More Grand... Grandmo.
- These are so... - Grandma!
OK.
Well, listen, I'll read it again,
happy to give you better notes...
No, no, your notes were great,
but it's just, they were so upset
because I had no people of color in the story
- which, like, I get. - Right, I remember.
- Like, totally. - Hi, Jess.
But it takes place at my Jewish summer camp...
- Mm-hmm. - Which was all white.
- I hear you, but... - So should I change it,
make it more inclusive? What do you think?
Well, look, it's tricky.
And it's important to consider this stuff.
It's really admirable you care and you're listening,
but, Scott, it's still your truth, it's your story.
- So, personally, I don't... - I could make the camp counselor, Adrian,
I can make him black or, like, Hispanic maybe, I was thinking.
- Sure, you could. - It's just that later on,
then I catch him smoking weed and now that feels weird.
- Uh-huh. - Like, I'll definitely get shit for that, right?
Well, I, uh...
Yeah, I don't know, maybe.
Look, what if he's Asian?
Yeah, I guess he could be, yeah.
Great.
OK, Scott, I'll see you.
Lance?
Todd?
Talia?
Cheyenne?
Ned?
Maria?
Mariah.
Is she here?
No, she's not here.
OK, thank you, Deacon.
Uh, Mark?
Deacon, we know is here.
Hey, what is going on, by the way?
Is this because of Sara's thing?
Sara?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
OK. Uh.
- All right, no, I understand. - What happened?
You jerked off on somebody's butt?
No, I didn't... I didn't do... I didn't jerk... I didn't masturbate
- on any... near anyone. - That's right, hi.
OK, they wanted us to talk about making this a safe space,
and even though there are students who weren't offended,
wanted to support their friends,
and we hope you can respect that.
Deacon, could you stop recording me on your phone?
Mm, why?
Because it makes me uncomfortable,
and I'm happy to have a conversation with you...
It's well within my rights, so, like, if it's so important to you,
you can forcibly remove the phone from me
or allow me to keep taping.
I think the other students should be able to hear
what you have to say about them.
Well, if they want to know what I said about them,
they could have come to class!
You seem angry.
I am a little angry.
- It's OK. - Good observation.
OK, I have some questions.
What do you feel about the patriarchy?
- Like, is it a thing? - Deacon.
You're making me feel uncomfortable right now
because I feel unsafe. I'd like to make this
- a safe space. - OK, let's have a dialogue.
Well, what purpose is this serving?
You want to waste your... how much battery do you have?
- Full. - Great.
Why do I have to be sorry for something I didn't do?
Why can't you just say, "I'm sorry"?
- I said I'm sorry. - And just end it there?
And just stop there? 'Cause you don't think you did anything...
Oh, my God, you want to talk about this?
All right, let's talk about this right now.
I'm glad, actually, that Grandma's here for this.
- Ah. - It's not like I...
Can you go two more rooms?
- I don't know. - I think you can, you're doing great.
- Let's try. - Let's just keep trying,
- just right up to this. - It's not like
- I banged your nanny. - I am trying.
We actually had a very sweet relationship.
She was just coming out of a breakup,
I was out of a breakup, we were both lonely.
Sure, we had sexual intercourse,
sorry, Grandma, but you know it happens.
There was also a lot of hugging and cuddling,
and we watched shows on Netflix, we'd go for bike rides.
That's great, I don't need to hear all those details.
I just want to know, what did you think was going to happen?
It was her idea to make it casual.
She's a grown woman, how is that my fault?
- Boys, boys. - Oh, see, Grandma,
it's her fault, it's her fault.
It's always someone else's fault.
- She's the one that wanted... - The moral of this story...
Grandma, she's the one that wanted to keep it casual.
I have to stop now.
- OK, good, get up. - OK.
- Great. - Get up.
I am, I am, I am.
Thank you, all right, Grandma, at your own pace,
just turn around, back right in.
- OK? - OK.
- I want to go to bed. - Yeah, so do I.
Yeah, this sauce is actually really good here.
- The commissary's nice. - Oh, God.
I don't want to live anymore.
What does that mean, you don't want to live anymore?
Tired, sweetheart.
I don't feel well.
I've had a very long, very happy life, but I'm done now.
What, so you're like suicidal now?
I know that sounds strange, but people shouldn't live like this.
But you'll get past this, you'll feel better,
you'll finish the radiation, you'll do your exercises,
get up on your walker, and you'll be good as new, come on.
I don't want to do more radiation.
I don't want to use a walker.
Well, I don't know what to say to this. This is really weird.
You don't have to say anything.
Come on. I need my grandma.
You're like my best friend.
You help me with every... I don't know what I would...
You helped me realize I needed to leave Julie.
It was very good that you left Julie, look at your father.
You can't spend your whole life
taking on other people's unhappiness,
and Julie was an unhappy girl.
Hm. Not all the time, that's not true.
She brought some joy into my life.
- But basically, whatever,
you were basically right, is my point.
I want to be in heaven with my husband,
and our family will join us.
Yeah, but you don't really believe
- that shit, though, do you? - Yes, yes, I really do believe that shit.
OK, well, I don't want you to not believe it,
but I'm just saying, I can assure you
that we're definitely here right now.
I can guarantee you that.
And we have movies, and music, and cruises,
and nature, and Paris, France.
I'll take you to France. And we have comedy and food!
I can't taste food since the radiation.
I can't taste food.
I know, I forgot about that, but...
If I were to tell you, you couldn't taste food for a year,
or you couldn't have sex for a year, which would you choose?
Really, think about that.
All right, give me the pillow.
- OK. Here we go. - Now what are we doing?
Let's do this, you're right. Just close your eyes.
I don't want to see you dying, so just close your eyes for me.
- Josh, please. - And you're going to be with Grandpa very soon.
- Here we go, oh, but... - Ah, ah!
- Let me know, but not the old, bald Grandpa. - Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- not the old... - No, the young, like, hot, virile version.
Yeah, yeah. And you have no idea how virile he was.
That little tramp will be there, and he's going to entertain you, and dance around...
and all your old dead cats and dogs, whatever you want.
- Whatever bullshit you want. - You're making me laugh.
- You ready? Here we go! - No, no, no.
- It's on! - Josh, what are you doing?
- What are you doing? - Oh.
Oh, nothing, I was just fluffing the pillows.
- Ow.
Not everything needs to be chronicled, OK? This isn't Snapchat.
- Doesn't even matter, OK, do you believe... - You're hijacking the class.
- I'm hijacking... - Yeah, you're hijacking...
- You think I... - Yeah, how is that offensive?
I don't know, maybe it's... your making
some weird assumption about the color of my skin.
It's nothing to do with the color of your skin,
it has to do with the fact that you are hijacking
- time away from people. - OK, well...
You know, so just tell us about this.
- The hell is this? - First of all, Mary, it's got 26 views.
It's not some big viral sensation, and I have a rule about the kids
- using cellphones in class. - I just really think
we could put this behind us
if you just took Jennifer aside after class and apologized.
For what? Does it not even matter?
I guess it doesn't matter. Also, I don't know how I do that.
She hasn't come to class twice now...
Well, she may never come back to class,
And, frankly, I don't blame her if this is your attitude.
Guys, I'm feeling very unsupported here. I'm also very confused
as to who has the power on this campus.
I know you're new to teaching,
and sometimes it's not what you think it's going to be.
OK, I got an idea. How about I teach two classes a week
that I've scheduled and prepared, and the students who show up
and do the work get good grades, and those who don't
- get bad grades. - Your attitude is ridiculous.
Well, I think this whole thing is ridiculous, Terry, frankly.
And I'm not new to being a student. I was a student before this,
and this is nothing like the college I remember.
I was 19, what the hell did I know?
Look, I just really hope you reconsider giving an apology.
Terry, I really don't think I did anything wrong.
Sometimes that doesn't matter,
just an apology is an apology.
Just a kindness.
So an apology I don't mean.
If you don't mean it, that's up to you.
Hey, Alan, what's up, buddy?
How you doing, man?
Hey, David, where are you?
Yeah, I'm just getting some lunch,
about to jump into a meeting.
What's going on, everything OK? Everything cool?
No, not really. She's not doing too well.
And she, she needs to talk to you.
Uh, all right, OK.
Uh.
How soon can you get down here?
OK.
She wants me to come there?
All right, I'm going to get a cab.
I can be there in 40 minutes. I'll be there in 40 minutes.
Call Josh, did you try Josh? Call Josh's cell.
No, she needs to talk to you now,
and she won't talk to anyone else.
- All right, OK. - OK?
- All right? - Go ahead, you know what? Alan,
go ahead, put her on.
Put her on.
Hello?
- Hey, hey, Grandma. - Where are you?
Hey, you know what, I'm at work, but I'm coming, um...
- You're at work? - I'm coming right now.
Well, I wish you cared a little bit more about family
than you do about making money.
- Please come quickly, there's not much time. - Wait a minute, wait a minute,
you're not going anywhere. I'm going to take you home,
we're going to finish our ping pong tournament.
It was always you, David.
- Oh, God. - It was always you, you're the best of us.
You're the best one out of all of us.
- Don't say that. - Now, I'll be waiting for you
in the kingdom of heaven,
but until then, I want you to know
that I'm leaving you all of my money,
and my ugly furniture, and my robe collection
- to teach the others a lesson. - Hey, wait, wait, wait, who is this?
Tiny ottomans and my...
- Josh, Josh. - Look it, look it,
- what happened? - You talk in there.
- OK. - David?
- Josh? That wasn't me. - It's me.
- No. - Who is this?
- But it's me! - It's me!
- No, me. - Now he knows it's me.
Who am I talking to right now? Who's on the phone, whose voice is this?
- It's your grandma. - Who's that speaking?
This is Grandma.
- Honey, how are you? - Hey, you know what, Gram?
It's not cool, Grandma, you know, I'm at work,
I have a huge presentation.
- Are you OK? - I'm fine.
Wait, let me talk to him for a second.
No, you just talked to him.
- I won't do anything. - Oh, yeah.
- Sorry. - Who am I talking to?
David, it's Josh, it's Josh.
- In all seriousness... - You're a fucking asshole.
I know, I'm sorry, but in all seriousness...
It's not fucking cool, Josh, all right?
You needless fucking sick fuck.
You know what? You take shit too far.
All the doctors are here
and most of the medical staff,
and they're waiting for your opinion,
your medical opinion and your advice,
so do you know if you're going to be able to... he hung up.
- No! - He's gone.
David, I'm fine.
It's OK.
- Oh, I'm going to kill her.
- Hey, Jackie, come on!
We were supposed to leave 15 fucking minutes ago!
- Hey!
All right, I'm leaving! That's it,
tell her I'm leaving. Bye.
- I'm ready. - Fuck. Shit!
What... who...
- Who's in there?
- Oh. - Sorry about that, man.
Oh, hi, hey.
That's my friend, Eugene.
He came over last night.
Oh, cool, very cool, what... when, when?
Just late.
Cool.
Uh, I know you.
Yeah, I'm the Black Lives Matter guy from the podcast.
Black Lives Matter, yes.
- How you doing, man? - Good.
Is it cool that I used your shower?
Oh, yeah, sure.
No, it's not. No, I'm kidding, it is.
Good, I already did, but...
OK, so we'll be back, like, around six.
- Yeah. - Jackie says it's cool if I hang here for the day.
I'm just going to, like, get emails done and,
you got HBO, right?
I do.
And that is Josh's
- friend Caterina. - Oh, yeah.
My girlfriend.
Ciao.
Wow, that's really good. Uh,
OK, so you guys are just going to hang out here and...
- OK, I thought we had to go. - Yes, uh, OK.
Uh, I will see you later.
- Ooh, ooh.
Oh.
Cool, well, I'll be back soon, don't worry about it.
And, uh, I'll text you, too,
like, probably before I'm coming back.
Or maybe not.
- Maybe I'll surprise you. - OK, yeah.
- OK. - Ciao.
- Yeah, ciao, bye. - OK.
- I'll see you later. - So good to see you again.
- Bye. - All right.
See you.
- What? - Nothing, just impressed is all.
- My God.
Nothing happened, we just slept.
You can do whatever you want,
just don't do it on my couch.
Can he spend the night tonight, too, and go?
No, no, he can't.
- Why? - Because...
He's from out of town, so if you say no,
then he has to go and stay in Ridgewood at, like, some Airbnb.
And he's in town for a march, and it would be a really nice thing
that you could do for a good cause.
Hey, maybe you two can stay at your boyfriend's apartment, hum?
That'd be fun. Or stay with Mom, or ask Dad.
I'm not asking Dad for anything,
and I sure as shit am not staying in that nuthouse.
He's like fucking Rapunzel up in that apartment.
- Give me a fucking break. - Does he seem happy to you?
You always stick up for him even though he chose her over me,
you, Grandma, David, his granddaughters.
All right, whatever, it doesn't mean you can have people
- over at my apartment. - OK, you know what?
When we get back to your place, you get to tell
Eugene that you don't want him to stay there, OK?
I want you all to know that I made a decision last night.
I decided I want to complete
the rest of my radiation treatments,
and if I have to have dialysis,
well, then we'll deal with that then, but this is what
- I choose to do. - Hallelujah.
OK, that's great, that's great.
- That's great. - That is really good.
- That's great. - That is good.
When did you decide that?
Last night, like I said.
- Oh. - Talked with David...
- Oh. - And this is what I choose to do.
- What did Runciter say? - This is great.
What did she say?
So what did David say to you, exactly?
Well, that's between David and me,
but we had a very nice talk.
And I'm going to start using the walker.
- Really? - And I'm going to do my exercises.
- Yes. - Whoa, because David said so.
Josh, stop being such a fucking baby.
It's just, I gave her this whole speech and she completely ignored me.
A day ago, she couldn't wait to be with Grandpa
in heaven, right?
You tried to suffocate me with a pillow.
You're kidding, right?
I was joking, tell them I was joking. You know that was a joke.
Yes, I know that was a joke.
- Well, why would you say that? - OK, now wait a minute.
You're impossible with making it about you.
- I have some very real concerns about this, Ma. - Pot calling the kettle.
Dr. Peterson doesn't think
- that that's the right course. - I think we should
listen to Runciter.
He was recommended to me, and if I were there...
Well, you're not here, honey.
If you were here, you could get involved,
and until you are, butt out!
Di, I'm perfectly capable
of having a phone conversation.
- She's my Goddamn mother, too! - Oh, God.
All right, that's it.
- Uh-oh. - I'm shutting her off.
- She's going to break it... - Don't you dare!
How do you do it? What do I press?
- What do I press? - It's right there.
Bye!
- Bye, Mom. - Don't have to hit it.
- Stop screaming. - Shut up.
- Oh, God. - We are listening to you.
It's just insane, she's screaming at you,
she's not even here.
You don't even know,
you don't even have a sister.
OK, well, I have some pretty
complicated female relationships.
Men are easier. They're no bargain,
but at least you can reason with them.
OK, I really don't like those generalizations...
- I agree with you, Mom. - ... about women.
Then let's just agree that Aunt Allie sucks.
Yeah, but listen, she wants to do the radiation, so it's good.
It doesn't matter, Josh.
Why not? What are you talking about?
Oh, it's the same thing with my father.
How can you say that it doesn't matter
when that's your mother in there? I don't understand.
- That's my mother? - Yeah, that's your mother.
And you're my mother, and if you were in there,
- I'd be doing whatever I... - That's not my mother.
That's my freaking soulmate,
and I don't even know what life
is going to be like without her in it.
- I'm sorry, Mom.
I just...
I thought Dad was your soulmate.
Oh, you little shit, shut up!
That's what you always said, right?
It's true, you can't have two soulmates.
- Oh, no. - Everyone knows that.
Why me, Lord?
All right, that's just like regular pot, right?
There's nothing else tricky in there?
- Yeah. - 'Cause that feels strong. That just hit me.
Well, you haven't had any in a long time.
- I know, fuck, dude. - Wait, wait, wait.
Who's going to take care of us when we're dying and sick
if we don't have kids, or don't get married? Josh?
- I'll take care of you. - No, you won't.
Yes, I will. What are you talking about?
- We have David's kids. - Yes, my kids.
- Benjamin. - They'll take care of you.
- Who? - Benjamin.
- They like you. - Who's that?
Ben's your brother.
- Ben. - Ben.
- Right. - Dad's son.
- Mm-hmm. - Wait, you forget you had a brother?
No. That's right, we got him.
We'll be fine.
We have cousin Alan.
Dad always said you'd never get married
or have kids, bud.
I always thought me meant that as a compliment.
You know, Dad is fucked.
You guys know that, right?
How fucked he is?
Even if he left Sherry,
which he won't, we all know he won't,
even if he left, they still have a child together now.
- And with the child,
that's a life sentence with her.
- And that poor kid. - Oh, my God, I can't.
I honestly can't talk about that.
- It's too depressing. - Going to ruin that kid.
Sometimes I think if I could commit the perfect murder,
would I...
would I kill Sherry,
would I kill my own father's wife...
- uh-huh. - ... if I could get away with it?
I've asked myself that same question.
Eugene, I know that sounds really harsh,
but you haven't met this woman. She's a nightmare.
- It's bad. - Like, could I poison her,
could I shoot her in the face?
- Mm-hmm. - I couldn't, I'm a coward.
But if I could, like, if I could push a button,
and she didn't have to suffer, and she was just gone,
like in that Tom Cruise... uh, War of the Worlds,
- the aliens just eviscerated... - Oh, yeah.
Yes, so, the Mars one, yes, Mars Attacks.
Yeah, and she didn't know it was coming, she didn't suffer,
she wasn't scared, if she just disappeared
- from the face of the Earth. - It's not about her suffering,
got to understand. We don't want her to suffer.
- No. - No, we're not sick people.
No. Well.
It's just, she's not a happy woman either.
You have to see her, she's not living a happy...
- Such an understatement. - This is really nice.
I'm, like, in a really good mood doing this,
- hanging out like this. - Like, it's really fun, though.
- Thanks for having me over tonight, Josh. - I like it.
- This was a real lifesaver. - It's nice.
Didn't have to get back on that train.
You guys do this a lot?
Yeah.
Can I get a cinnamon raisin bagel?
Toasted with egg, cheese, uh, sausage, with a little tomato
and just a little bit of salt and pepper. Thank you so much.
- David, do you want anything? - Sure you want it toasted?
- They're fresh. - No, no, I know it's fresh
but I'd like it toasted.
She has, like, 75 identical sweaters.
I know, which I really like, too.
- What about this, though? - I really love that.
This is nuts. Don't you think this is kind of fucked up
that we're already dividing up all her shit,
and she's still, like, alive and there's hope?
I feel like, bunch of buzzards.
Uh, listen, I, uh, I want to go to the hospital
with your mom and meet David.
Oh, yeah? OK, should we all... I'm happy to go...
I'd like you to stay here and watch the kids for a while.
Here?
Yeah, watch, I can do that, I guess...
I'd ask Melissa, my nanny,
it's just... she no longer works for us.
All right, we can just speak openly here.
I know what you're implying,
and I will watch them because I like them very much,
but let's just be honest and not tiptoe around the thing.
Yes, I really, honestly wish you didn't fuck my nanny.
OK, well, I honestly do, too.
But I honestly did, several times.
- OK, great. - And I honestly can't take that back.
If you could watch them, that would be great.
Absolutely. If it's any consolation, it was really fun sex.
OK, listen up, family meeting.
So, guys, remember the secret mission.
We're going to just pretend we were in Grandpa's neighborhood,
and we wanted to drop in and say hi.
Just act like we were passing by on the way to the movies,
and felt we should say hi to Grandpa
and see if he wants to come hang out at the hospital with us.
Yeah, no, I think I'm going to stay down here.
- Why? - Oh, I don't know,
'cause we weren't invited upstairs,
and I actually would love to be invited upstairs,
and I just don't think this is a good idea.
I want to stay with Aunt Jackie.
Thank you, yes.
Fine. OK, you guys stay down here for now.
And that means, Evie, hey, pal, listen.
I'm really going to need you to turn on the charm up there, all right?
Grandpa's a sucker for that stuff.
- Can you do it? - Oh.
Lot riding on you, kid.
- All right. - All right, you two have fun.
- You're the worst. - Yeah.
We're going to hold it down, down here,
where it's safe, emotionally.
Remember, we were just in the neighborhood,
we were going to see a movie, we thought we'd pop in.
We got to check in first.
Ooh, are those for me?
- No. - Really?
Are you sure? 'cause it was my birthday last month.
I don't know you.
That's true, that's a good point.
We're here for Benjamin Cohn's birthday party.
28th floor, just follow the noise.
- Is there a birthday party? - No, no, no, it's for somebody else in the building
'cause we're going to Benihana next week, remember?
Hey, will you do me a favor, will you go back outside, play with Annabeth and Jackie?
I'll be right there.
- But... - Come on, come on,
'cause I can see if they're even home.
- Ugh! - Ugh, I know, life's hard.
Uh, yeah, Josh Cohn to see Jeffery Cohn?
28th floor.
Thanks, you said there's a birthday party?
- Yup. - OK.
Oh, boy.
Oh, hi, buddy. Uh, Happy Birthday.
Oh, wow, that's a party.
Where's my present?
Well, you know, I didn't know you were having a party.
I would have brought one for sure if I had have known.
- Um, do you mind if I...
Josh is here.
I hate slime.
Look at this.
I hate slime so much.
- Like it?
Josh is at the door?
- Dad, what are you doing?
What's going on?
I think you can probably figure out what's going on.
You know, Jackie and the girls are downstairs, Dad.
No, what?
Yeah, well, I didn't know you were doing this.
I mean, I don't care, it's not about me and Jackie,
but, it's a little about me and Jackie, but Evie and Anna.
If David and Pam knew you were having a party and didn't invite them...
- I know, I know, I know. - It's a kid's party,
why wouldn't you?
Josh, I need you to help me.
- What? - She's going to ruin the whole Goddamn party now.
- Jesus. Oh. - I'm sorry, it's just...
- It's OK. - Grandpa!
Oh, no. Um.
Hey, baby doll!
Look at you!
Let me see your face.
Oh, it's a beautiful face.
Grandpa, is there a party?
Ben, just Ben.
- All right, make a wish?
- Ben.
- There you go.
- Great job.
You've done it, kid.
- Woo! - You got it.
- Nice. - We have to go.
Yes, let's go, OK.
- Finding Dory! - No, we've already seen it, like, three times.
Yeah, I've seen it, too. How about this, what about The Secret Life of Pets?
Let's see that, that just came out, it's supposed to be fun.
No, "Dory"!
- Hey, stop yelling. - I don't care...
- You can't yell in here. - I don't care about
- "Secret the Life of Pets." - Where'd you go?
- He's making me see it. - Just a friend called me.
- You haven't seen it yet. - No, I don't want to,
I don't care about it.
- Hey, hey, Evie. - I really want to go
to the fancy theater, the new theater
with the plush seats, the La-Z-Boys.
I'm not going to see The Secret Life of Pets.
Oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God, that's her, that's the student.
- Stop looking. Everyone, please stop looking. - She can't tell.
- Jackie.
Jackie, turn around, please.
- Hey, Jackie. - Just pretending to...
- Where is my friend? - Please don't.
- I can't. - Jackie.
Where's my...
- Stop looking. - That's her, that's her.
- Please stop looking. - Which one?
Please stop, they're doing it.
- Who are we looking at? - Nobody.
I'm not going to see The Secret Life of Pets!
OK, shh, that doesn't matter.
Josh, listen to me, this is an opportunity
for you to go over there and just apologize, OK?
Just listen to her, validate her feelings, OK?
- She could really need that. - Can you pay the bill, please?
- I'm going to slink out. - "Dory"!
- Oh, fuck. - OK, you got it.
- Oh, my God, Evie. - Just go over there, just go over there.
- Apologize, apologize. - You are the worst.
- Oh, boy. - You got this.
- OK? - Shut up.
Pay the bill, please.
- He's walking over here. - No, no.
- No, for real, he is. - How many feet away is he?
Do you know, like, ETA?
- Like, now, he's here. - Hi, guys.
I thought I saw you here, Jennifer.
I'm so sorry to bother you.
Wondering if we could just speak privately for a moment?
That might be the best thing to...
I don't think that's appropriate, um.
And also, I don't think it's appropriate
for you to be harassing students outside of the school,
especially under the given circumstances.
Oh, I didn't mean to harass anybody,
and I'm not sure that that's what I was doing.
We didn't ask you what you think, this isn't your classroom.
- Well, listen, I think... - Yeah.
- OK, that's a fair point... - Hey, hey.
- Oh, no. - Uh, Jack...
This is my brother, this is my brother.
- It's my sister. We're going. - And I just want to say that
he's truly a kind person, and he feels awful about what he did.
- No, no. - We don't care about that. That's just not relevant.
- We'd like you to leave us alone, please. - Let's go.
That sounds nice, let's go, please?
- Jackie. - Sorry, um, is it Jennifer?
- Oh, God. - Hi, I just... I'm sorry,
but I just want to say that I believe you,
and I really feel for you, and I stand with you.
- OK. - Wow, thank you so much,
but we don't need your hashtag right now.
- Please, please go. - Hashtag, aw, that's cute.
- Please go. - Yeah.
- Jackie, shut up. - I'm actually like a pretty
big fucking feminist.
- Yeah. - Shut up, shut up.
- Please go. - And actually, what you've been doing,
not showing up to his class, right, filming
him, not cool. Not part of the movement. - Please go, I'm begging you.
OK, so is it cool for you to be a big feminist
and have him tell you to shut the fuck up?
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, please.
By the way, you're harassing us.
- No. - Yeah, you're harassing him.
You see how that works? You can't handle this,
you can't handle actual confrontation?
OK, you need to check your Adderall dosage
and get the fuck out of my face.
Yeah, thank you for all your hard work, really brave.
Oh, your life's a mess.
Goodbye.
I sincerely apologize for that.
Please forgive me, forgive her.
I really hope you enjoy your meal,
and I hope I see you guys back in class.
- OK. - Yeah. Bye.
Time to go.
- OK, guys, just... - Why are we at the bank?
- Where's Aunt Jackie? - Guys, just stay here.
Uncle Josh is going to talk to Aunt Jackie real quick.
So just don't touch the ATMs and don't move.
- It's very safe, don't worry. - I have to go to the bathroom!
Oh, Evie, you are killing me.
Could you just give me one minute? One minute.
- Hold it. - Can I play on your phone?
All right, don't look through the photos
or the texts.
OK? I'll be right back!
Hold on.
Two minutes.
- Do you know what you just did? - I know.
- Do you have any idea what you just did? - I know.
I got overwhelmed, but that was ridiculous, it was.
- I'll lose my job for that, do you realize? - There was no reasoning
with them. They wouldn't listen, and then I felt
really defensive, and I didn't want that, and I'm just...
- Jackie! - I'll apologize.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, look at me.
- What is going on with you? - What?
- What's going on? - I just stood up
- for you in there! - No, not that, not that.
Something is... talk to me,
what happened with Owen the other night?
Nothing, I outgrew him.
Come on. Then what'd you fight about?
- Did he do something to you? - Drop it!
I don't want to fucking talk about it with you,
- I really don't, stop! - OK, fine, fine.
Give me the pills, or the... whatever you're on.
It's cocaine. You know what?
- Throw that away. - Oh, my God, Jesus.
Well, why do I have to throw it away?
- I don't have a problem. - OK.
- Don't throw it away, actually. I'm thinking about it. - Why?
Can you hold onto it, but not do anything with it?
Do you know what I mean? Like, hold onto it
but don't use it.
Jesus.
I had no idea it was going to be that kind of party.
Nothing like we ever got, which sucks.
But obviously, if I'd known, I wouldn't have, you know,
I wouldn't have taken them to the building in the first place.
What? You...
- Oh, man. - You did know.
- You did know, Josh! - I didn't know!
- You did know. - I'm telling you...
Then why did you bring them to Dad's house for?
- I... - Why do you just do... just shut up.
- Just, Josh, I want to... - I can't defend myself?
Because we actually had a really positive day.
You didn't have a positive day.
You're dwelling on the negative stuff.
You locked my kids in an ATM kiosk.
- For two minutes! - You locked my kids
in an ATM kiosk.
- Just do me a favor. - This is what I need today.
- Yeah, I'm listening. - Yeah, to listen,
you got to shut the fuck up.
- I'm... - I bet you you can't shut up
for 60 seconds, Josh.
I bet you can't shut up without a little bit or a joke...
- You're on. - Or a little... oh, OK,
- oh, here we go, another... - OK, here you go.
Great, Josh, make it a game
'cause everything's a joke to you, isn't it?
Life's a party with Josh, man.
Well, let me tell you about the party I get to go home to.
I got to tell my eight-year-old daughter,
I got to try to explain to her
why her grandpa didn't invite her to a birthday party.
Maybe that's not a big deal on your world,
but it's a big deal in my world,
and it's a real big deal in her world,
and she matters more than you do!
You're the fucking adult.
I'm sorry, it's no wonder you're in trouble with your school.
I'm not shocked at it! 'cause you know what, Josh?
You do whatever you want all the time
and you don't think about anybody else,
and it's getting exhausting.
You're 38 years old, it's not cute anymore.
These things aren't cute.
Listen to me. Try to take me in.
I love you.
Maybe I've just let you be a kid,
and for that, I'm really... I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry for doing that.
OK, that's my time?
Great, OK, good.
Thanks for your time.
Appreciate it.
It's embarrassing.
- I won't judge you. - OK.
So, Owen's ex-girlfriend,
who's a lot more sexually adventurous than I am, OK,
like sometimes he wants to do shit
that I'm just, like, not into, OK?
- OK. - I get home from the fucking hospital...
and he and Aaron have been drinking and drinking.
And he pulled me into the bedroom
and explained to me how he always wanted
to ask me this, but never could and...
It's OK. You don't... If it's... you don't have to tell me this.
- I'm telling you this. - All right, but you don't have to, if it's about...
if it's too hard for you.
He wanted his friend to have sex with me while he watched.
That's really weird.
- Yeah. - That's really fucking gross.
I think the plan was, like, he would just kind of jerk off
while his, like, bro fucked me or whatever.
- And, like, that would be
real fun for him, for both of them.
Huh.
Well, I don't know, I mean,
if I've learned anything the last few weeks,
it's that, Jack, you know, sex isn't always so literal.
Like, maybe, maybe that was...
maybe just him admitting that was his idea of intimacy.
OK, well, it's not my idea of intimacy.
I don't want to do it.
I know. I know.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I'm sorry that happened.
- What are you going to do? - I don't know.
Hey, guys, how's it going?
- Sorry. - Good.
What's... what can I do for you?
Um, I mean, we just wanted to talk to you.
You know, we saw that, you know, shit was going down.
We heard what happened with Jennifer.
That's absolutely ridiculous.
I thought the fucking masturbation thing,
we heard about it, it was hilarious.
You're our favorite professor, man.
Oh, that's kind of you to say, but actually, I don't know if I should be
talking to students about this right now. It's still a little...
- Is there something else? - Dude. You're not gonna get fired.
No, that's outrageous. We're not gonna let that happen.
They're treating you really poorly.
Like, you come to work, you do your job.
Yeah, I mean, you read my stuff last semester,
gave me notes, I wasn't even in your class.
Ah, thank you, Peter, thanks, Scott.
It's actually nice to hear this.
It's been kinda, kinda tough.
Well, don't believe anything they're saying about you, OK?
- We know you. - Listen, we're on this.
- That's why we wanted to talk. - Mm, on what?
- You saw what we go through. - Yeah, with Tiara that day?
That shit happens all the time, dude.
I mean, like, you see it
- and you understand us, our perspective. - Yeah.
- Uh-huh. - I mean, we're talking, we're going to get signatures.
- This is an opportunity. - Yeah, a lot of us feel this way.
I'm sorry, what? A lot of who?
I mean, just well-meaning, you know, so-called privileged white guys
with a target on our backs that are constantly getting thrown under the bus.
Everyone's allowed to get pissed off but me,
and, like, I can't get my feelings hurt?
Exactly. Look, we have a Facebook page that, uh, you know,
we record stuff, we talk out, process our shit.
- I'll invite you. - Don't.
- Yeah. - We've been waiting for something like this.
- Please don't do that. - Someone like you to step up.
- Yeah, we can follow you. - Don't follow me.
Please, don't, don't quote me on anything. I don't wanna be a part of this.
I don't, I really am uncomfortable telling you guys. I'd like you to leave, actually.
I think you should go.
Uh, so it is true, then, that you and your sister
had a confrontation with Jennifer Mann
outside of the school? I mean, is that at least fair to say?
- Uh... - Did that happen?
I should say that my sister's been on certain medications
that have put her off balance to some degree,
and we're just trying to figure out the correct dosage.
And, as you know, Mary, my grandmother, is not well.
Unfortunately, she's taken a pretty steep turn for the worse
- and I just think it's having an effect on Jackie.
I think she's struggling with it, as we all have been.
- Still... - No, no, I didn't know that.
I'm so sorry for your family, Josh.
Well, thank you, Mary. I appreciate that.
Josh, did you ever say to a class
that students who arrived to class on time
were raised better than students who were late?
No, I said, um, I, I, said...
I'm sorry, are we going through old quotes? Terry, what's going on?
- "Raised better." - Can you remember what you did say, Josh?
- That would be really helpful. - It'd be great.
I said, um, to Nick Abruzzo,
by the way, who's chronically late, um,
I said that being on time is a sign of respect.
It's something that my grandma taught me,
and maybe I used some line that it was like,
"A sign that your parents raised you right," or something.
It was a throwaway line.
It wasn't even the focal point
- of what I was saying. - Well, just so you know,
Nick Abruzzo has sleep apnea
and that's why he comes in late.
He didn't know, you didn't know that.
- Of course I didn't know. - Still, I think what Mary's trying to say
is that we're going to need you to take some time off while we figure this out.
- What, how would you get that from what she said? - I'm not sure that's...
I think we need a little time.
- I'm sorry, who are these people? - Oh.
So now you definitely have to get a lawyer?
- Well, yes, but, because listen, because I want to sue them... - Oh, no.
- No, Joshie. - For... yes, for wrongful termination and discrimination.
Just listen, Title IX doesn't just protect students, I looked it up.
- Just move on. - No, no.
No, that's what you would do, take it lying down.
I'm not going to do that. I'm being harassed,
discriminated against, I'm being singled out unfairly.
You really think they would do this to me
if I was a black Muslim lesbian, huh?
Fair point, life would be so much easier
if you were born black, a lesbian, and a Muslim.
- I'm not saying that. - It's gonna cost you a fortune.
A and B, it's going to cost you a fortune.
You can't afford it. It's going to go on forever.
- I'll call, I'll call the ACLU. - Then what, now what?
Well, I'll sue the school for discrimination.
Yeah, maybe this happens all over the country.
- Maybe it's important. - And persecute that girl
who's already been raped.
She hasn't been through enough?
And you'll never get hired as a teacher again.
Think for a second, Josh.
Fuck, Dad.
- Fuck. - Joshie.
All this because a guy beat off on a girl's butt.
- Come on.
OK.
Where do you wanna go, the bed or maybe sit in the chair?
- The bed. - OK, can you...
- No, no, I got it. - OK.
I'm fine. Close the door.
How'd you sleep last night, huh?
- I coughed bad. - Ah, shit.
- You want to play some gin? - I'm sorry, honey.
I, I, I can't, I just wanna lie down.
- OK. - Where's my pill?
Where the fuck is that nurse with the pill?
- You wanna drink some gin? All right.
For the last two years, your grandmother,
mind you, an 86-year-old woman,
has had double heart bypass, laparoscopic kidney surgery,
several painful melanoma biopsies and removals
from her face and her left arm,
four months of chemotherapy, two months of radiation.
Kids, your grandmother has fought like a Bengal tiger.
OK, well, then we got to put her on the morphine drip
because that's what she said she wants, if it comes to this.
- That's what... - Wait, sorry, Mom. What about dialysis?
She changed her mind about that. David, you changed her mind,
so dialysis is for the kidneys, the kidneys...
She doesn't know how sick or hopeless it is.
OK, so the three to six months that you guys were talking about,
what was that? That was, like, two days ago.
That was Dr. Runciter's diagnosis and it was a few days ago, not my own.
I hope he's having fun on vacation.
- She has been... - You understand,
I can't listen to you anymore.
He's like Dr. Kevorkian.
OK, so, please.
How long, how long does she have to live?
Well, Dr. Runciter and I agree now
that it's either a couple of weeks
of very uncomfortable living
if we continue on the current path,
or several comfortable days
if we put her on the morphine drip as Mom says.
- OK.
Days.
That's what we're gonna
- have to do.
I don't know.
- Hey. - Hey, buddy, how you doing?
Here he is, look at him, the man of the hour.
Benny and the Jets.
- What do you want? - "What do you want"?
That's how you're going to greet your brothers and your sister?
- Just want to talk to our dad. - You're not my brother,
- you're not my sister! - Yeah, we are.
- We got to talk to our dad. - No, you're not!
- Yes, we are! - Excuse me,
- why are you yelling in my house? - I'm not yelling.
Hey, Sherry, I'm sorry to interrupt dinner.
Guys, guys, guys, what are you doing here?
I think you know what we're doing here.
- We need you, Dad. - I don't mind you stopping by,
but all I ask is that you call first, OK?
But, hey, you're here, it's OK.
- I got some food. Want some food? - Dad. Dad, can we talk to you
- in private real quick? - No, no, actually, you can't
- because we're in the middle of dinner. - What is it?
OK, you need to stop what you're doing right now
and you need to come with us to the hospital
to see Grandma right now.
- It's bad. - They have Grandma on a morphine drip.
- Yeah, and we're in the middle of a family dinner right now. - Yeah, I can see that.
Sherry, I really don't want to fight with you right now
and I really don't want to do it in front of Ben.
Can we, can we, can we just do this tomorrow?
- You know? Honestly... - Jeff, I don't need this...
- Hold on, Sherry! - Don't need this.
There might not be a tomorrow, Dad.
Ben, can you just tell him to go in his room?
No, you can't tell me where to go.
How dare you tell my son what to do?
I didn't tell him what to do, I asked my father...
- You walk in here... - We're trying!
- Calm down! - All right, all right, enough, stop!
- Enough! - Come over here, sweetheart.
Josh, sit down! David, sit!
- Dad... - Jackie, sit down!
We are going to have a family meal together! Goddammit!
And now he's yelling.
All I want is, is, is peace between you...
and in my life.
How is it not possible? What can I do?
What more can I do for all of you?
Nothing, Dad, it's not that.
- You wonder why I don't want you here? This is why. - OK.
What, when has this ever happened before?
- When does it not happen? - Dad, this woman...
- Well, excuse me, who is this woman? - OK, Sherry.
This woman, Sherry, your wife, she will make you miserable
- every single day of your life. - I told you, d'you hear that?
- I told you they hated me. - Doesn't matter what you do.
- They hate me! - She will find a way for you to feel like a disappointment
- every day of your life. - They want you to hate me!
You hear it, I told you!
Jeff. OK, well, since my husband isn't going to do it,
I'm going to have to ask you all now to leave.
Sherry, we're not going anywhere without our father.
- We're not doing that. - Then, I guess
I have to call the police.
- Oh, yeah, call the cops. - Call the police.
All right, everybody, just relax.
- That's not necessary. - You're leaving me no choice.
- You don't have to call the police. - You invade my home!
You're making my child terrified.
You're terrifying your child right now.
- OK, here we go, Jeff. - Dad.
- Here we go. - Look at me, Dad.
Look, dad, look at me.
If it comes to divorce over this, to hell with her.
She's dying, Dad.
She'd dying.
Dad, I know that you love Grandma
like your own mother, I know that.
You've got an army of people who love you at your back.
Come to the hospital and see.
I'm dialing.
I'm gonna go out for a little while.
I love you and I will be back soon.
And, you, take care of Mama, OK?
- Dad, can I go with you? - Stay here and take care of Mama.
Hey, hey, look, you, listen to me.
- I am your brother, OK? - Oh, my God.
And he's your brother, and she's your sister,
and you got two nieces, and a third one on the way,
and we miss you, and we love you.
And any time you need anything,
- anything at all, you call us. - That is enough out of you!
- Get out! - I'll be there for you, because we are family.
Get out of my home.
Hi, beautiful.
Hi.
The hell are we doing here?
Huh? I got an idea.
Grab a sweater.
We'll go on and we'll get a bottle of the good stuff.
We'll put it in a paper bag, we'll go to the park,
we'll get a transistor radio, we'll put on WFAN,
we'll listen to John Sterling and that woman,
and then you'll tell me stories of...
What do you think?
- Let's get out of here.
Let's blow this joint.
You know what?
These kids hit the jackpot when they got you as a grandma.
They're the luckiest kids in the world.
I love you.
I miss you.
And I'm really sorry.
It's going to take weeks, and weeks, and weeks.
- I'm only halfway done. - I see, darling.
What's going on, you guys?
It's really upsetting. What is this?
- What's he doing? - I hate it.
I don't know what upsets me more,
Grandma being in a coma, or watching Mom and Dad flirt like that.
I mean, these poor bastard's never going to learn.
He's never going to fucking learn.
He thinks I'm interested, so we just never tell him,
and I'll show it to you.
- Sure you got everything? You got... - Yes.
Hey, you want some of those leftovers? I can run up
- and get you that sandwich from last night. - No. I'm not hungry.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- You can eat it on the plane. - Is this the guy?
You got everything you should? 'Cause I feel like
- you had more bags than this. - No.
- You got your charger, computer? - Yes.
- Hi, for Caterina? - You sure you have your phone?
- Yes. - Thank you.
Look, yeah, I got the phone.
- OK, OK. - You asked me 10,000 times.
- It's OK, happy? - OK.
Hey, why don't you stay one more week?
- No. No, no. - I'll pay the flight change.
- It's time, it's time. I have to go home. - One week.
- I miss my sister, I miss my dog, I miss my home. - OK.
- Are you gonna come back?
- No, I don't think so. Maybe, maybe not. - Oh.
- I don't know. - You're never coming back?
All right, so this is it, so this is goodbye.
I miss you, OK?
Yeah, I miss you, too.
Good luck with your job.
- Thanks. - And with your grandma.
Thanks.
And, and, um, thank you for everything you do.
- OK? - OK.
- OK, ciao. - Ciao.
Wait, give me, give me a hug. Come here.
It's OK. You know, to be alone sometimes?
It's really not that bad.
Definitely not.
OK.
- Josh. - Hey, buddy, sorry, I, I...
traffic's really bad, I'm going to be, like,
20 minutes, probably, so, why don't you just go to work.
But I'll be there soon.
- Sorry. - Josh, she's dead.
Really, you're not...
- No, for real, Dave? You're not just... - Yeah, she passed.
Uh, yeah, 20 minutes ago.
I was rubbing her head, telling her I loved her.
- Jesus. - Jackie had to leave the room.
Mom, mom just got here.
- I'm so sorry, Mom. - I got to tell her.
I'm so sorry.
Me too.
Sorry I wasn't there.
So, I want to thank Jennifer for coming in today.
You too, Josh.
I just want to say, I think it takes a lot of courage to be here.
And...
we're eager to hear what you have to say.
OK, so...
from my perspective,
what I saw that day was...
a passionate,
enthusiastic...
Inexperienced, assertive,
and powerful male professor,
even if well-meaning...
pressuring, intimidating,
and... badgering a timid female student of his
into exposing a deeply personal sexual experience
in front of an entire class of her peers, right?
I mean, that's what I saw.
So, that experience made me fearful
that it could happen to me,
but it also wasn't easy watching it happen to someone else.
And, um...
it was triggering due to personal experiences
that I've had in my life.
So, when I decided that I no longer
felt comfortable returning to your class,
I reached out to you through appropriate channels
that the school made available to me.
Um, and you approached me in person outside of class,
whe... where I felt even less safe.
Now, whether that makes any sense to you, Josh,
or Mary, or any of my fellow students, that's how I felt.
We understand.
Thank you.
Uh, Josh, is there anything you'd like to add?
Well, first of all, thank you for sharing that. Um...
I actually do understand better why you feel the way you do,
and I had never thought about it like that,
and whether you come back to class or not,
or I continue to teach here or not, I'll remember it.
And I will learn from it.
And, um, try to be better.
And I'm personally sorry
I put you through that experience.
I really am.
Jennifer?
Would you be open to returning to Josh's class?
No.
Could we just get David to come pick us up?
- No, we cannot. No. - Or Mom, Pam, somebody?
- Why? - No.
'Cause they're setting up a memorial.
- So? - And it's a mile away.
And we do this every day in New York City, where we live.
I know, but you're wearing a dress,
and I'm sweating through
- my fucking suit. - Take off your jacket.
- Fine.
- It's like a minefield. - Dogs shit everywhere.
- These kids are spoiled. - Yeah, I get it.
Listen, here they are, what do you think?
- My trees of life. - It's great. This is great.
They're going to grow, they're going...
Yeah, they're bushes, but they're...
They're not bushes, these are trees.
These trees are gonna get big, my kids are gonna climb 'em...
I don't think berries grow on trees.
- It's a berry bush. - Those aren't berries, those are seedlings, Josh.
- David it's a fucking berry. - Don't pick those off.
- Those fall and they re-blossom. - All right, fine. It's really nice.
- It looks rustic. - So, what did you do?
Would you just sprinkle the ashes on top,
- or how do you do it? - No, man, I got in there.
- I mixed her right into the soil before we planted. - For real?
- Yeah, both of them. - Ah, man, I wish you'd told me you were doing that.
I would have liked to spread the ashes with you.
I knew you were going to want to do that, Joshie.
I knew you were going to do that. So, I got something for you.
It's kind of a special thing.
- Oh, it is a special, it's a very special thing you do. - Aww!
Come here, put your hand out.
- Oh, right. Were those the ashes? - Come on, put your hand out.
- Get out of here, I don't... - Don't be a fucking pussy
your whole life, put your hand out.
You think I believe you got ashes in a fucking Alt.
- Get out of here! - What are you talking, come on, be careful!
That's Grandma and Grandpa. I thought you might want to sprinkle...
You're joking, tell me you're joking. That's not Grandma.
- I thought you wanna be a part of this. - David.
- Pay your respects. - Don't be a Dick.
I don't want you to feel left out. You're always complaining.
- You're full of shit. - This time I thought about you.
Come on, spread 'em out. By the way, Melissa's
- in the house, did you see her? - What?
She's in there. You didn't run into her?
- She's here? - No, dude, we hired her back.
It's great, I offered her more money and she accepted.
- She didn't think twice. - Please tell me you're joking.
- Please tell me she's not inside. - No, she's in there.
- You'll run into her. - Are you fucking kidding?
- It's cute. Everything's beautiful. - You're a dick.
- No, Josh, it's beautiful. - You are such an asshole.
I'm not a dick and you're not a dick either.
Let me tell you something, I love you.
- Oh, my God. - I love you so much.
- I'm gonna... - Sprinkle those.
- Get out. - Don't. Put 'em in the thing.
- Garden of life. True life. - David.
Is she in there, really?
Agatha Margaret Klein, who I call More Grandma, which means great-grandma,
was born in July 14th, 1930 in Frankfurt, Germany.
Agatha was the daughter of a clothing manufacturer named
Stanley Klein and a housewife named Rose.
She lived a very happy life with her older sister, Ursula,
until Germany was taken over by Adolph Hitler,
who didn't like Jewish people.
Agatha, along with her sister,
fled Germany when she was only 10 years old
to live in the countryside of England
where she learned how to speak English
and ate a lot of new food like Yorkshire pudding,
which was her favorite.
After the war, Agatha reunited with her family
and moved to Queens, New York, to live,
where she has lived for the past 73 years.
Back then, it was hard for a woman to get a better job,
so she worked as a secretary so she could learn
how to type faster than anyone else that she worked with.
She was also very good at math.
Later, she married her first love,
Jules Rossini, my great-grandpa.
They remained married for 51 years until he passed away.
She still misses him a lot, every single day.
She cries each time she talks about him.
They had two daughters, my great-aunt Alissa
and my grandma Diane.
That's me.
Josh, you ever smoke?
Oh, my God, yes.
Agatha says she has lived a very long life
and is very proud of her children,
grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
That's it.
- Oh.
- Yes. - Yay.
- So good. - Love it.
Woo!
- Yes. - A plus.
- Hey, Josh.
- Yeah? - What happened to that other girl?
- Who? - The Italian, what was wrong with her?
Wait, which one? 'Cause there are so many, I'm sure...
You know, there's not so many.
Caterina, nothing's wrong with her.
She was just here for two months,
but she had to go home, so she left.
- She wanted to go home. - Well, that's too bad.
What about that Melissa?
- What's with her? - The nanny. She was cute, I liked her.
You know, honestly, there's a part of me that believes
she was just aiming for a raise the whole time,
- and was using me. - Oh, God!
- Ma, don't laugh. - You know, David worries about money.
- It's a real concern. - David's a good daddy.
Yes, he is.
There's too much dog shit in that yard, though.
- Aw, sweetie, that feels so good. - I gotcha.
Oh, thanks for the ride home, Dad.
- Yeah.
- Happy to do it. - Yes, thanks, Jeff.
- Thanks. - OK. Here we go.