1 00:01:01,914 --> 00:01:02,881 Mom! 2 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:06,413 Mom! Help me. 3 00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:10,588 What is it? 4 00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:13,522 I wasn't dreaming, Walt. I didn't imagine it. 5 00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:16,753 I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I heard Chris. 6 00:01:17,029 --> 00:01:19,623 - I heard him! - I know. 7 00:01:19,865 --> 00:01:22,356 No. I wasn't imagining it, Walt. 8 00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:25,292 No, I did. He's... He's... 9 00:01:26,538 --> 00:01:28,733 - I heard him! - Billie. 10 00:03:55,721 --> 00:03:57,746 That's about as far as I can get you. 11 00:03:57,856 --> 00:03:59,448 All right. Thank you. 12 00:04:13,405 --> 00:04:16,738 - You left all your shit on my dash. - Keep it. 13 00:04:17,743 --> 00:04:19,210 Suit yourself. 14 00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:21,278 Thanks again. 15 00:04:23,282 --> 00:04:25,113 Hey, hold on a minute. 16 00:04:29,388 --> 00:04:32,289 Here, take these. They'll keep your feet dry. 17 00:04:33,725 --> 00:04:37,593 If you make it out alive, give me a call. My number's inside the boots. 18 00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,090 Thanks. 19 00:09:16,942 --> 00:09:18,068 Hello? 20 00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:27,303 Is there anybody here? 21 00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:31,682 Guess not! 22 00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:42,479 Two years he walks the earth. 23 00:11:49,728 --> 00:11:52,060 No phone, no pool, no pets, 24 00:11:53,231 --> 00:11:54,698 no cigarettes. 25 00:12:12,150 --> 00:12:13,811 Ultimate freedom. 26 00:12:15,787 --> 00:12:19,746 An extremist. An aesthetic voyager 27 00:12:21,593 --> 00:12:25,723 whose home is the road. 28 00:12:26,698 --> 00:12:30,065 "Hey, listen, old man. Now, don't psychoanalyze me, all right? 29 00:12:30,435 --> 00:12:33,063 "Shut up. I'm taking you out to where we're going." 30 00:12:33,171 --> 00:12:34,729 "Where you going?" 31 00:12:34,939 --> 00:12:37,533 "I told you. We're going nowhere!" 32 00:12:40,145 --> 00:12:45,742 So now, after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. 33 00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:50,583 The climactic battle to kill 34 00:12:52,023 --> 00:12:53,888 the false being within 35 00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:58,961 and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. 36 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:33,256 No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, 37 00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:36,895 and walks alone upon the land to become 38 00:13:38,336 --> 00:13:39,894 lost in the wild. 39 00:14:11,469 --> 00:14:16,497 Hard work and manifold contributions to our community during their time here, 40 00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:20,774 we salute you and offer all of you 41 00:14:20,945 --> 00:14:24,005 one more round of applause and congratulations. 42 00:14:30,822 --> 00:14:33,586 Nina Lynn Lockwynn. 43 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:41,727 Vanessa Denise Lowery. 44 00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:49,573 Christopher Johnson McCandless. 45 00:15:00,752 --> 00:15:03,949 Regina Victoria McNabb. 46 00:15:27,145 --> 00:15:30,740 I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges. 47 00:15:33,985 --> 00:15:37,978 I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, 48 00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:42,519 the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head. 49 00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:46,258 I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, 50 00:15:46,364 --> 00:15:49,959 standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks with the wrought-iron gates 51 00:15:50,068 --> 00:15:54,129 still open behind her, its sword-tips black in the May air. 52 00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:57,198 They are about to graduate. 53 00:15:58,443 --> 00:16:03,176 They are about to get married. They are kids. They are dumb. 54 00:16:03,781 --> 00:16:07,808 All they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody. 55 00:16:10,088 --> 00:16:13,751 I want to go up to them and say, "Stop, don't do it. 56 00:16:14,058 --> 00:16:17,585 "She's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man. 57 00:16:17,929 --> 00:16:21,956 "You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. 58 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:25,226 "You are going to do bad things to children. 59 00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:27,896 "You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of. 60 00:16:28,006 --> 00:16:29,974 "You are going to want to die." 61 00:16:32,477 --> 00:16:36,504 I want to go up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it. 62 00:16:36,948 --> 00:16:39,883 But I don't do it. I want to live. 63 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:45,946 I take them up like the male and female paper dolls, and bang them together 64 00:16:46,057 --> 00:16:51,017 at the hips like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them. I say, 65 00:16:52,563 --> 00:16:57,057 "Do what you are going to do and I will tell about it." 66 00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:00,803 Here they are, Walt. Okay? 67 00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:03,434 Who wrote that? 68 00:17:03,975 --> 00:17:08,469 Well, could have been either one of us, couldn't it? 69 00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:11,241 Why is he letting Carine drive his car? 70 00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,643 There's a lot of great poems in here. 71 00:17:19,557 --> 00:17:21,752 I have to speak to her about it. 72 00:17:21,859 --> 00:17:22,848 Sit down. 73 00:17:23,828 --> 00:17:25,625 Excuse me. I'm going to get my son. 74 00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:28,893 He just graduated today from Emory College. 75 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,262 I'll get it. I'll get it. 76 00:17:30,368 --> 00:17:33,929 Chris, hi! We've been waiting and waiting. 77 00:17:34,038 --> 00:17:38,407 You scared me half to death jumping up there on that stage like that. 78 00:17:39,677 --> 00:17:41,872 - Hi, Dad. - Congratulations, Son. 79 00:17:42,046 --> 00:17:45,379 - This is a big step. - Thank you, Dad. 80 00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,247 All right. 81 00:17:48,519 --> 00:17:50,388 You're not supposed to be driving in Georgia. 82 00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:51,713 Why? I have my permit. 83 00:17:51,823 --> 00:17:54,018 'Cause it's against the law for a learner's permit 84 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,492 to drive in another state from one's home state. That's why. 85 00:17:57,595 --> 00:18:00,996 I didn't know that. I thought that if I was with a legal driver that it'd be okay. 86 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,066 Well, let's... 87 00:18:11,776 --> 00:18:14,802 - Are they going to continue? - No. 88 00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:19,742 I guess everybody's celebrating today. 89 00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:23,817 - They're going to stay in the bar, right? - That's right. 90 00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:38,862 My grades are good enough, I think, to get into Harvard Law. 91 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,904 Chris, that's wonderful. 92 00:18:42,407 --> 00:18:44,432 That is a big deal. 93 00:18:45,176 --> 00:18:47,838 How much do you have left in the college fund? 94 00:18:48,312 --> 00:18:53,409 Exactly $24,500.68. 95 00:18:53,518 --> 00:18:55,145 Well, that's specific. 96 00:18:55,253 --> 00:18:57,983 I had to go to the bank this morning, Mom. 97 00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:03,821 Your mother and I will be glad to contribute the balance for Harvard. 98 00:19:03,928 --> 00:19:05,361 That's right. 99 00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:06,993 I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. 100 00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:10,534 I've got a lot of things to pack and organize here first. 101 00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:15,095 Your father and I, we want to make a present to you. 102 00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,534 We want to get you out of that junker. 103 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,475 What junker? 104 00:19:20,978 --> 00:19:22,206 That. 105 00:19:24,649 --> 00:19:27,948 - We want to buy you a new car. - That's right. 106 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:29,518 A new car? 107 00:19:31,789 --> 00:19:33,848 Why would I want a new car? 108 00:19:34,959 --> 00:19:36,620 Datsun runs great. 109 00:19:38,196 --> 00:19:40,960 Do you think I want some fancy boat? 110 00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:45,860 Are you worried what the neighbors might think? 111 00:19:46,037 --> 00:19:48,835 Well, we weren't gonna get you a brand new Cadillac, Chris. 112 00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:52,137 We just want to get you a nice new car that's safe to drive. 113 00:19:52,243 --> 00:19:55,770 And you never know when that thing out there just might blow up. 114 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:02,080 Blow up. Blow up? Are you guys crazy? It's a great car. 115 00:20:02,653 --> 00:20:06,851 I don't need a new car. I don't want a new car. 116 00:20:07,258 --> 00:20:09,317 - I don't want anything. - Okay. 117 00:20:09,427 --> 00:20:13,158 - These things, things, things, things. - Okay. 118 00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,065 - Everything has to be difficult. - Thank you. 119 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,191 - Thank you. - Maybe that's not what he means. 120 00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:20,930 Maybe he just wants his old car. It's not such a big deal. 121 00:20:23,274 --> 00:20:25,868 Thank you. I just don't want anything. 122 00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:37,685 Chris measured himself and those around him 123 00:20:37,788 --> 00:20:40,313 by a fiercely rigorous moral code. 124 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:41,516 Bye, Chris! 125 00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:44,953 He risked what could have been a relentlessly lonely path 126 00:20:45,062 --> 00:20:48,759 but found company in the characters of the books he loved 127 00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:55,600 from writers like Tolstoy, Jack London and Thoreau. 128 00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:00,403 He could summon their words to suit any occasion, 129 00:21:01,245 --> 00:21:02,940 and he often would. 130 00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:23,356 I forgot to ask what quote he'd have picked for his graduation dinner, 131 00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:27,028 but I had a good idea of who the primary target would be. 132 00:21:31,909 --> 00:21:34,878 It was inevitable that Chris would break away. 133 00:21:36,948 --> 00:21:41,544 And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation. 134 00:22:27,031 --> 00:22:31,365 "It should not be denied that being footloose has always exhilarated us. 135 00:22:32,403 --> 00:22:35,270 "It is associated in our minds with escape 136 00:22:36,474 --> 00:22:40,274 "from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations. 137 00:22:41,812 --> 00:22:43,507 "Absolute freedom. 138 00:22:45,816 --> 00:22:48,182 "And the road has always led west." 139 00:24:48,472 --> 00:24:49,939 I need a name. 140 00:25:19,336 --> 00:25:21,201 Toward the end of June, 141 00:25:21,305 --> 00:25:24,297 Emory had mailed our parents Chris' final grade report. 142 00:25:24,909 --> 00:25:26,467 Almost all A's. 143 00:25:26,944 --> 00:25:29,640 A in Apartheid in South African Society. 144 00:25:30,481 --> 00:25:34,975 A- minus in Contemporary African Politics and the Food Crisis in Africa. 145 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,253 And on it went. Clever boy, my brother. 146 00:25:40,891 --> 00:25:44,554 But by the end of July, we hadn't heard anything from him 147 00:25:44,662 --> 00:25:47,153 and my parents were becoming unsettled. 148 00:25:48,799 --> 00:25:51,131 Chris had never had a phone, 149 00:25:51,235 --> 00:25:54,727 so they decided to drive down to Atlanta and surprise him. 150 00:26:09,854 --> 00:26:12,584 When they arrived at the apartment, there was a "For Rent" sign up 151 00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:16,148 and the manager said that Chris had moved out at the end of May. 152 00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:18,285 Oh, yes. He left two months ago. 153 00:26:18,596 --> 00:26:20,587 So when they got home, 154 00:26:20,698 --> 00:26:24,794 I had to hand them all the letters that they had sent Chris that summer, 155 00:26:25,402 --> 00:26:29,202 which had been returned in a bundle. 156 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,804 Chris had arranged for the post office to hold them until August 1st, 157 00:26:33,911 --> 00:26:36,778 to buy himself some time. 158 00:26:37,848 --> 00:26:39,839 Did you know about this? 159 00:26:40,484 --> 00:26:42,349 He didn't say anything. 160 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:46,547 I understood what he was doing. That he had spent four years 161 00:26:46,657 --> 00:26:50,684 fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college, 162 00:26:53,364 --> 00:26:57,801 and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, 163 00:26:57,902 --> 00:27:02,396 false security, parents and material excess, 164 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:07,240 the things that cut Chris off from the truth of his existence. 165 00:28:21,585 --> 00:28:22,711 Hey! 166 00:28:26,757 --> 00:28:29,590 - Hey, man. Step around. Jump in. - Okay, great. 167 00:28:30,194 --> 00:28:33,425 We barely saw you there underneath that crazy hat of yours. 168 00:28:33,597 --> 00:28:37,260 This door's a little tricky. There you go. Hop in. 169 00:28:40,904 --> 00:28:42,098 That's Rainey. 170 00:28:42,206 --> 00:28:43,901 - Hi, Rainey. - Yeah, I'm Rainey. 171 00:28:44,008 --> 00:28:45,635 - I'm Jan. - Hi. I'm Alex. 172 00:28:45,743 --> 00:28:47,074 Alex with the hat on. 173 00:28:47,177 --> 00:28:49,236 - Yeah, I know. You said it, man. - Yeah. 174 00:28:51,015 --> 00:28:52,949 So you're a leather now. 175 00:28:54,218 --> 00:28:55,276 I'm a leather? 176 00:28:55,386 --> 00:29:00,483 Yeah, a leather tramp. That's what they call the ones that hoof it, go on foot. 177 00:29:01,358 --> 00:29:03,553 Technically we're rubber tramps. 178 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,651 Because we have a vehicle. 179 00:29:06,864 --> 00:29:10,129 - You don't have to push me away. - Come on, please? 180 00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:16,765 Yeah, Alex could have a vehicle as well, but he decided to burn all of his money. 181 00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:21,010 And why did you do that? 182 00:29:22,780 --> 00:29:26,079 I don't need money. Makes people cautious. 183 00:29:28,485 --> 00:29:31,010 Come on, Alex. You gotta be a little cautious. 184 00:29:31,121 --> 00:29:34,181 I mean, that book of yours is cool and everything, 185 00:29:34,491 --> 00:29:37,551 but you can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. 186 00:29:38,729 --> 00:29:42,324 I don't know if you want to depend on much more than that. 187 00:29:43,233 --> 00:29:45,292 Where are your mom and dad? 188 00:29:48,338 --> 00:29:50,499 Living their lies somewhere. 189 00:29:53,544 --> 00:29:56,035 You look like a loved kid. Be fair. 190 00:29:57,247 --> 00:29:58,305 Fair? 191 00:29:59,349 --> 00:30:01,112 You know what I mean. 192 00:30:04,221 --> 00:30:06,416 I'll paraphrase Thoreau here. 193 00:30:07,458 --> 00:30:11,724 "Rather than love, than money, than faith, 194 00:30:11,862 --> 00:30:15,855 "than fame, than fairness, 195 00:30:18,302 --> 00:30:19,860 "give me truth." 196 00:30:41,325 --> 00:30:44,351 From as long ago as Chris and I could remember, 197 00:30:44,528 --> 00:30:47,691 there have been daily bouts of rage in our house. 198 00:30:47,798 --> 00:30:52,258 Violence that we were forced to witness. It was very real. 199 00:30:54,204 --> 00:30:56,764 But it was also like theater. 200 00:30:58,308 --> 00:31:02,244 They cast us as both judges and the accused. 201 00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:08,210 And I got you this token, this expensive token. 202 00:31:08,652 --> 00:31:10,779 Dad had been the young genius 203 00:31:10,888 --> 00:31:15,689 that NASA enlisted to do crucial designs for the American satellite radar systems 204 00:31:15,792 --> 00:31:20,286 that would be our answer to the Russian Sputnik. 205 00:31:20,397 --> 00:31:22,831 And Mom and he later started up a consulting firm 206 00:31:22,933 --> 00:31:26,369 combining her get-up-and-go resourcefulness 207 00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:28,062 with his wealth of knowledge. 208 00:31:28,172 --> 00:31:30,333 Look at this. 209 00:31:33,410 --> 00:31:37,107 But by the time the company actually made its first million, 210 00:31:37,481 --> 00:31:42,214 the careerism and money seemed only to embolden their blindness. 211 00:31:42,886 --> 00:31:44,854 Thank you very, very much. 212 00:31:45,923 --> 00:31:48,448 I remember the first family meeting 213 00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:52,226 to let us in on their plans for getting a divorce. 214 00:31:53,030 --> 00:31:56,431 They wanted us to choose which of them we'd live with. 215 00:31:58,435 --> 00:32:00,266 We cried our eyes out. 216 00:32:02,539 --> 00:32:04,700 The divorce never happened, 217 00:32:05,475 --> 00:32:08,569 but the battles and the meetings never stopped. 218 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,940 It wasn't very long before Chris and I shut off. 219 00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:17,581 We'd say "Go ahead. 220 00:32:19,223 --> 00:32:20,850 "Get the divorce." 221 00:32:22,326 --> 00:32:27,195 Jeez. If I struck a match to you I'd have dinner and warmth at the same time. 222 00:32:28,298 --> 00:32:29,925 Where's Jan going? 223 00:32:32,502 --> 00:32:34,060 Well, my friend, 224 00:32:35,639 --> 00:32:38,130 all is not well on the hippie front. 225 00:32:47,851 --> 00:32:50,945 You're an industrious little fucker, aren't you? 226 00:32:52,222 --> 00:32:53,553 Little bit. 227 00:32:58,562 --> 00:33:02,931 It's funny how things happen at particular times. 228 00:33:04,935 --> 00:33:08,371 I've loved that woman for a lot of years, bro. 229 00:33:11,375 --> 00:33:14,003 But, you know, she's got a story. 230 00:33:14,945 --> 00:33:19,143 We've been going through this thing, real quiet. 231 00:33:21,818 --> 00:33:25,879 So when we ran into you yesterday, 232 00:33:26,390 --> 00:33:29,655 this thing that we've been going through real quiet, 233 00:33:30,761 --> 00:33:33,662 she's talking about it. You know what I mean? 234 00:33:34,197 --> 00:33:37,098 - I think I do. - You think what? 235 00:33:40,037 --> 00:33:41,004 Well... 236 00:33:44,141 --> 00:33:48,043 Some people feel like they don't deserve love. 237 00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:52,814 They walk away quietly into empty spaces, 238 00:33:54,484 --> 00:33:57,544 trying to close the gaps to the past. 239 00:33:57,721 --> 00:34:00,781 That's a hell of an insight. Jesus! 240 00:34:03,794 --> 00:34:06,763 - You're not Jesus, are you? - Look who's talking. 241 00:34:06,863 --> 00:34:11,527 You gonna walk across the water and get her back for me, pal? 242 00:34:12,336 --> 00:34:15,999 No. I'm afraid of water. 243 00:34:16,673 --> 00:34:18,265 Always have been. 244 00:34:18,575 --> 00:34:24,411 Something I've gotta get over sometime though, huh? So I will swim in it 245 00:34:24,748 --> 00:34:27,546 if you'll carry the firewood back to camp. 246 00:34:29,886 --> 00:34:31,478 - Shit, yeah. - Yeah? 247 00:34:31,588 --> 00:34:34,079 - Call it carried. - All right. 248 00:35:08,859 --> 00:35:11,589 "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, 249 00:35:15,365 --> 00:35:18,266 "and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. 250 00:35:19,002 --> 00:35:22,631 "Now, I don't know much about the sea, 251 00:35:23,273 --> 00:35:26,299 "but I do know that that's the way it is here. 252 00:35:27,878 --> 00:35:30,346 "And I also know how important it is in life 253 00:35:30,447 --> 00:35:34,474 "not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, 254 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,210 "to measure yourself at least once, 255 00:35:39,890 --> 00:35:44,327 "to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, 256 00:35:45,996 --> 00:35:48,556 "facing the blind, deaf stone alone 257 00:35:49,199 --> 00:35:53,295 "with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." 258 00:35:58,542 --> 00:36:00,772 There's a big wave coming! 259 00:36:04,581 --> 00:36:07,106 Rainey, I'm freezing! 260 00:36:07,717 --> 00:36:11,881 Could you put your arms around me? 261 00:36:33,910 --> 00:36:38,506 The Navy bulldozed and abandoned this base down there, 262 00:36:38,615 --> 00:36:45,578 and all that's left is this huge grid of concrete foundations, or slabs. 263 00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:50,089 - Man, you would dig the Slabs. - You would like it. You would like it. 264 00:36:50,193 --> 00:36:52,388 - If you're on the road still. - You'd love it. 265 00:36:52,496 --> 00:36:53,929 Fellow travelers. 266 00:36:54,030 --> 00:36:56,624 Just living on the cheap under the sun. Can't beat it. 267 00:36:56,733 --> 00:36:58,098 Sounds good. 268 00:36:58,335 --> 00:37:00,929 If you come, I'll make you a proper hat. 269 00:37:01,037 --> 00:37:04,131 - Promise? - I swear to God. 270 00:37:11,882 --> 00:37:14,646 Oh, baby. Baby. 271 00:37:15,118 --> 00:37:17,552 - Stop it. Wait. - Yeah. 272 00:37:20,257 --> 00:37:22,691 - Oh, yes. - Okay. 273 00:37:24,327 --> 00:37:26,022 Let me turn off the light. 274 00:38:07,904 --> 00:38:11,965 - He reminded me of... - I know. 275 00:38:20,817 --> 00:38:23,945 Such is the way of the world 276 00:38:24,087 --> 00:38:26,487 You can never know 277 00:38:29,392 --> 00:38:35,262 Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? 278 00:38:37,067 --> 00:38:39,729 Gonna rise up 279 00:38:39,836 --> 00:38:44,432 Burning back holes in dark memories 280 00:38:45,241 --> 00:38:47,835 Gonna rise up 281 00:38:47,944 --> 00:38:52,278 Turning mistakes into gold 282 00:38:52,382 --> 00:38:56,011 I mean, you're really good. I mean, you're like 283 00:38:57,287 --> 00:39:02,156 100,000 times better than, like, any apple I've ever had. 284 00:39:03,994 --> 00:39:06,360 I'm not Superman, I'm Supertramp. 285 00:39:08,565 --> 00:39:10,430 You're Superapple. 286 00:39:10,533 --> 00:39:17,234 You're so tasty. You're so organic, so natural. 287 00:39:18,441 --> 00:39:20,534 You're the apple of my eye. 288 00:39:22,912 --> 00:39:29,408 Hey! Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold 289 00:39:31,154 --> 00:39:37,252 And suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold 290 00:39:38,595 --> 00:39:41,393 Gonna rise up 291 00:39:41,498 --> 00:39:46,060 Find my direction magnetically 292 00:39:46,736 --> 00:39:49,330 Gonna rise up 293 00:39:49,439 --> 00:39:53,876 Throw down my ace in the hole 294 00:39:56,112 --> 00:40:00,515 In early September, Mom and Dad got a call from the Annandale police 295 00:40:00,617 --> 00:40:02,642 notifying them that Chris' abandoned car 296 00:40:02,752 --> 00:40:06,153 had been identified by the Arizona Highway Patrol. 297 00:40:06,656 --> 00:40:10,820 A group of rare flower hunters stumbled upon it in the desert. 298 00:40:12,195 --> 00:40:15,722 There were no signs that Chris had intended to return to it. 299 00:40:15,832 --> 00:40:18,960 But there wasn't any evidence of struggle, either. 300 00:40:20,904 --> 00:40:23,304 The police thought Chris had chosen to leave it behind 301 00:40:23,406 --> 00:40:26,068 and not that it was taken from him. 302 00:40:29,679 --> 00:40:34,616 The initial comfort that gave Mom and Dad quickly turned 303 00:40:34,718 --> 00:40:39,451 to the realization that Chris was actually trying not to be found. 304 00:41:20,597 --> 00:41:21,962 Strong. 305 00:41:23,266 --> 00:41:27,600 You can do anything. You can go anywhere. 306 00:41:28,371 --> 00:41:34,401 Money, power is an illusion. It's up here. 307 00:41:35,945 --> 00:41:37,503 You can be here. 308 00:41:38,782 --> 00:41:41,273 Me and you. 309 00:41:55,765 --> 00:42:00,293 One, two. No, no, no. 310 00:42:08,044 --> 00:42:09,511 Two, 311 00:42:14,217 --> 00:42:15,343 three... 312 00:43:06,369 --> 00:43:08,701 Don't be shy with it. Get it moving there. That's good. 313 00:43:09,372 --> 00:43:11,033 - That's your speed right here. - Right. 314 00:43:12,141 --> 00:43:14,075 You go too fast, you won't get all the wheat. 315 00:43:14,410 --> 00:43:17,208 That's it, straight line, straight line, little straighter. 316 00:43:17,313 --> 00:43:20,612 See how you're bearing? Just a little straighter. Now you're a combiner. 317 00:43:20,717 --> 00:43:22,776 Wow, look at this view! 318 00:43:22,886 --> 00:43:25,548 But keep your eye on the wheat, here. Make sure you're cutting it. 319 00:43:25,655 --> 00:43:28,818 You can look back here and see how much is coming out, all right. 320 00:43:28,925 --> 00:43:30,552 - How do you feel? - I feel great. 321 00:43:30,660 --> 00:43:33,686 Okay, keep it straight. God bless you. 322 00:43:33,796 --> 00:43:36,094 Make yourself some money, my friend. I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:43:36,199 --> 00:43:37,223 Okay. 324 00:43:44,007 --> 00:43:47,807 Wayne. Where you going? 325 00:44:06,663 --> 00:44:10,997 Kevin, you know I love you. I'm joking with you. I'm joking. Stop it. 326 00:44:11,134 --> 00:44:14,399 - I'm joking with you. - Mind your own business, Wayne! 327 00:44:14,504 --> 00:44:16,665 - What are you getting so hostile for? - I don't know. 328 00:44:16,773 --> 00:44:19,071 Me and you are on the same side. We're on the same side. 329 00:44:19,175 --> 00:44:22,235 - I'm just tired of the teasing a lot. - Kevin, we're on the same side. 330 00:44:22,345 --> 00:44:26,975 Let me get some... If I want some vagina, let me get it. 331 00:44:27,083 --> 00:44:29,574 - Whoa. He's serious about this. - Let's just play cards. 332 00:44:29,686 --> 00:44:31,244 - Can we just play cards? - Let's go, then. 333 00:44:31,354 --> 00:44:34,084 $2, $4, $6, just put all the money in. 334 00:44:34,190 --> 00:44:36,021 I just wanna see everybody going for broke. 335 00:44:36,125 --> 00:44:38,685 - You want to play? - No. 336 00:44:53,643 --> 00:44:55,440 - Kevin, what have you got for the week? - I got 260. 337 00:44:55,545 --> 00:44:57,240 We're at 260. 338 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:05,640 We're gonna stay right at 260, that's our number. 339 00:45:05,688 --> 00:45:07,519 We've got 20,000 pounds. 340 00:45:07,623 --> 00:45:11,457 We've got 20,000 pounds we need to get rid of. 341 00:45:14,364 --> 00:45:18,323 Maybe just do all that after lunch before we get back into everything else. 342 00:45:18,434 --> 00:45:21,870 Can we do the $500 reserves... 343 00:45:30,813 --> 00:45:33,304 What do you think about all this? 344 00:45:34,183 --> 00:45:35,741 I like all this. 345 00:45:47,864 --> 00:45:50,196 I don't think he can do it. 346 00:45:53,369 --> 00:45:55,428 Is there a library or bookstore around here 347 00:45:55,538 --> 00:45:57,597 where I can get books on hunting and preserving? 348 00:45:57,707 --> 00:45:59,698 Anything at all to do with hunting or preserving the meat, 349 00:45:59,809 --> 00:46:01,834 smoking it, whatever the hell it is, 350 00:46:01,944 --> 00:46:04,811 talk to Kevin over there. That's your man. 351 00:46:05,181 --> 00:46:08,344 Outdoorsman. What's your fascination with all that stuff? 352 00:46:08,451 --> 00:46:10,043 I'm going to Alaska. 353 00:46:10,420 --> 00:46:13,321 Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? 354 00:46:13,423 --> 00:46:15,948 Because they do have markets in Alaska. 355 00:46:16,059 --> 00:46:19,222 The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska. In the city of Alaska, they have markets. 356 00:46:19,328 --> 00:46:22,559 No, man. Alaska, Alaska. 357 00:46:23,132 --> 00:46:26,898 I'm gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. 358 00:46:27,637 --> 00:46:28,831 Just on my own. 359 00:46:28,938 --> 00:46:34,433 You know, no fucking watch, no map, no ax, no nothing. No nothing. 360 00:46:34,544 --> 00:46:37,206 Just be out there. Just be out there in it. 361 00:46:37,313 --> 00:46:41,682 You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. 362 00:46:41,784 --> 00:46:45,652 Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild. 363 00:46:45,822 --> 00:46:47,722 - In the wild. - Just wild. 364 00:46:47,824 --> 00:46:49,815 - Yeah. - Just... 365 00:46:49,959 --> 00:46:50,983 What are you doing when we're there? 366 00:46:51,094 --> 00:46:53,289 Now you're in the wild, what are we doing? 367 00:46:53,396 --> 00:46:54,522 You're just living, man. 368 00:46:54,630 --> 00:46:58,031 You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. 369 00:46:58,134 --> 00:46:59,328 Yeah. 370 00:46:59,469 --> 00:47:01,994 Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. 371 00:47:02,105 --> 00:47:03,094 Why not? 372 00:47:03,206 --> 00:47:05,265 You know, about getting out of this sick society. 373 00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:08,138 - Society! - Society! 374 00:47:08,244 --> 00:47:09,802 - Society, man! - Society! 375 00:47:09,912 --> 00:47:12,107 - Society! Society! - Society! 376 00:47:12,215 --> 00:47:14,911 Society, you know! Society! 377 00:47:15,751 --> 00:47:18,379 'Cause you know what I don't understand? 378 00:47:18,488 --> 00:47:22,447 I don't understand why people, why every fucking person 379 00:47:22,558 --> 00:47:25,891 is so bad to each other so fucking often. 380 00:47:25,995 --> 00:47:31,126 It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. 381 00:47:31,234 --> 00:47:35,000 - Well, it just... - What "people" we talking about? 382 00:47:36,672 --> 00:47:41,371 You know, parents, hypocrites, 383 00:47:42,278 --> 00:47:45,714 politicians, pricks. 384 00:47:47,350 --> 00:47:49,784 This is a mistake. 385 00:47:49,886 --> 00:47:53,549 It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. 386 00:47:56,259 --> 00:47:59,456 Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. 387 00:48:01,097 --> 00:48:02,962 But I promise you this. 388 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:08,762 You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time! 389 00:48:09,238 --> 00:48:12,469 - You've got to just kind of... - Wayne, what are you talking about? 390 00:48:12,575 --> 00:48:13,974 - What? - I mean... 391 00:48:14,076 --> 00:48:15,397 I'm talking about blood and fire. 392 00:48:15,444 --> 00:48:17,484 We're talking about trying to juggle blood and fire. 393 00:48:17,580 --> 00:48:19,275 Who are you to be giving advice to anybody anyway? 394 00:48:19,382 --> 00:48:20,943 Who am I to be giving advice to anybody? 395 00:48:21,050 --> 00:48:22,677 - Yes. - Well, it's nice to meet you. 396 00:48:22,785 --> 00:48:24,548 - My name is Mr. Happy. - Mr. Happy. 397 00:48:24,654 --> 00:48:26,884 And Mr. Happy sometimes gives advice. 398 00:48:26,989 --> 00:48:29,014 - Alex, please. - I'm sorry. 399 00:48:29,125 --> 00:48:31,719 Sometimes Mr. Happy... Well, Mr. Happy is always happy. 400 00:48:31,827 --> 00:48:33,260 But you know when he's happiest? 401 00:48:33,362 --> 00:48:34,727 - He's not always happy. - When is he happy? 402 00:48:34,830 --> 00:48:37,355 Are you really gonna say that to me? Come on, tell me about it. 403 00:48:37,466 --> 00:48:39,366 I am going to say that to you. 404 00:48:44,307 --> 00:48:46,775 - Now... - Sit down before you hurt yourself. 405 00:48:46,876 --> 00:48:50,039 One thing that you should try to keep your eye on 406 00:48:50,746 --> 00:48:53,772 is what happened in the late 1940s in Roswell. 407 00:49:07,763 --> 00:49:09,958 When a search of tax records revealed that 408 00:49:10,066 --> 00:49:12,591 Chris had given his life savings to charity, 409 00:49:13,002 --> 00:49:17,302 Mom and Dad became what Dad called "mobilized." 410 00:49:17,406 --> 00:49:21,866 They hired a private investigator and notified law enforcement nationwide, 411 00:49:22,211 --> 00:49:24,543 determined to track him down. 412 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:29,408 I just figured he'd be with gypsies, far from the eyes of the law. 413 00:49:33,556 --> 00:49:35,888 These are those free satellite TV deals. 414 00:49:35,992 --> 00:49:38,893 You're the one who said it, Alex, not me. 415 00:49:41,163 --> 00:49:43,597 You're gonna need something. What kind of gun you got? 416 00:49:43,699 --> 00:49:47,965 I'm probably gonna get like a.22, I think. A.22 caliber rifle. 417 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:51,638 All right, then. 418 00:49:52,141 --> 00:49:54,905 When you get your kill, time is of the essence. 419 00:49:55,011 --> 00:49:57,070 Now, the first thing you wanna do is make sure 420 00:49:57,179 --> 00:50:00,171 that you got that meat nice and shaved up. 421 00:50:00,349 --> 00:50:02,840 And you don't have a lot of time to do this. This is about an hour or two. 422 00:50:02,952 --> 00:50:06,854 Depending on the weather. Especially if it's hot, you've got less time to do it. 423 00:50:06,956 --> 00:50:11,120 What you do is you want to make sure that them flies don't land on your meat. 424 00:50:11,227 --> 00:50:15,027 Because once them flies start shitting out larvae and them maggots, 425 00:50:15,765 --> 00:50:19,792 you know, those creepy crawlies, it's too late. It's too late. 426 00:51:27,303 --> 00:51:29,669 You got me. You got me. 427 00:51:35,511 --> 00:51:38,036 I warned Wayne about them little black boxes. 428 00:51:38,247 --> 00:51:41,842 Mr. Westerberg, Scott Baker, FBI. I think you know why we're here. 429 00:51:41,951 --> 00:51:44,112 - Impressive turn-out. - Yeah. 430 00:51:44,220 --> 00:51:47,280 You mind grabbing that zipper for me there? Thank you. 431 00:51:48,057 --> 00:51:49,115 - Let's go. - Sorry, boys. 432 00:51:49,225 --> 00:51:51,455 We're gonna have to shut down for a little while. 433 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,290 Alex, you come back and work for me any time you want. 434 00:51:54,397 --> 00:51:57,066 Gil's got your checks, guys. I shouldn't be away too long. 435 00:51:57,199 --> 00:52:02,034 Remember Alex, no Alaska till spring. South, kid. You wanna head south. 436 00:52:27,630 --> 00:52:29,996 The year Chris graduated high school, 437 00:52:30,099 --> 00:52:33,466 he bought the Datsun used and drove it cross-country. 438 00:52:34,837 --> 00:52:36,964 He stayed away most of the summer. 439 00:52:37,606 --> 00:52:40,074 Come on. The neighbors are gonna be watching, honey. 440 00:52:40,176 --> 00:52:41,507 Can you spray it? 441 00:52:46,882 --> 00:52:50,978 As soon as I heard he was home, I ran into his room to talk to him. 442 00:52:55,825 --> 00:52:59,386 In California, he'd looked up some old family friends. 443 00:53:00,196 --> 00:53:05,031 He discovered that our parents' stories of how they fell in love and got married 444 00:53:05,134 --> 00:53:07,967 were calculated lies masking an ugly truth. 445 00:53:09,205 --> 00:53:11,867 When they met, Dad was already married. 446 00:53:12,875 --> 00:53:15,139 And even after Chris was born, 447 00:53:15,244 --> 00:53:18,077 Dad had had another son with his first wife, Marcia, 448 00:53:19,448 --> 00:53:22,042 to whom he was still legally married. 449 00:53:24,019 --> 00:53:29,218 This fact suddenly re-defined Chris and me as bastard children. 450 00:53:33,863 --> 00:53:38,596 Dad's arrogance made him conveniently oblivious to the pain he caused. 451 00:53:40,336 --> 00:53:44,397 And Mom, in the shame and embarrassment of a young mistress, 452 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,508 became his accomplice in deceit. 453 00:53:52,982 --> 00:53:56,679 The fragility of crystal is not a weakness but a fineness. 454 00:53:57,887 --> 00:54:01,015 My parents understood that a fine crystal glass had to be cared for 455 00:54:01,123 --> 00:54:03,523 or it may be shattered. 456 00:54:03,626 --> 00:54:07,858 But when it came to my brother, they did not seem to know or care 457 00:54:07,963 --> 00:54:10,193 that their course of secret action 458 00:54:10,299 --> 00:54:14,326 brought the kind of devastation that could cut them. 459 00:54:16,038 --> 00:54:20,634 Their fraudulent marriage and our father's denial of this other son 460 00:54:20,943 --> 00:54:25,107 was, for Chris, a murder of every day's truth. 461 00:54:26,248 --> 00:54:30,082 He felt his whole life turn, like a river suddenly reversing 462 00:54:30,185 --> 00:54:34,212 the direction of its flow, suddenly running uphill. 463 00:54:40,963 --> 00:54:45,559 These revelations struck at the core of Chris' sense of identity. 464 00:54:45,668 --> 00:54:49,661 They made his entire childhood seem like fiction. 465 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:53,467 Chris never told them he knew 466 00:54:56,845 --> 00:54:59,336 and made me promise silence, as well. 467 00:55:00,182 --> 00:55:02,383 I can't afford four. Who's gonna pay for the fourth one? 468 00:55:02,484 --> 00:55:05,612 Bryan can't afford four. Does it matter? 469 00:55:06,522 --> 00:55:08,012 Can I help you? 470 00:55:08,123 --> 00:55:10,557 Yeah. If I wanted to paddle down the river, 471 00:55:10,659 --> 00:55:12,820 where's the best place to launch out of? 472 00:55:12,928 --> 00:55:14,054 Hang on a second. 473 00:55:14,163 --> 00:55:17,360 "To launch out of?" What's your experience level? 474 00:55:18,534 --> 00:55:21,799 - Not much. - Any? Do you have a permit? 475 00:55:21,904 --> 00:55:23,895 A permit? Permit for what? 476 00:55:24,473 --> 00:55:26,805 You can't paddle down the river without a permit. 477 00:55:26,909 --> 00:55:29,309 If you want, you can apply for one here, get some experience, 478 00:55:29,345 --> 00:55:31,245 and I'll put you on the wait-list. 479 00:55:31,347 --> 00:55:34,009 No, I got this guy in here. We'll figure it out. 480 00:55:34,116 --> 00:55:36,676 There's a wait-list to paddle down a river? 481 00:55:36,785 --> 00:55:38,150 That's right. 482 00:55:38,487 --> 00:55:40,717 - Yeah, it's gonna be... - Well, how long do I have to wait? 483 00:55:40,823 --> 00:55:42,290 Yeah, hang on a second. 484 00:55:42,391 --> 00:55:46,384 Now, the deal is it's gonna be me and you 485 00:55:46,495 --> 00:55:49,828 or it's gonna be me, you and her. 486 00:55:49,932 --> 00:55:54,460 Next available is May 17th, 2003. 487 00:55:55,371 --> 00:55:59,364 Great. Done. The three of us, then. 488 00:55:59,608 --> 00:56:01,041 Twelve years? 489 00:56:01,510 --> 00:56:03,444 - What's that? - Twelve years? 490 00:56:03,646 --> 00:56:05,204 To paddle down a river. 491 00:56:05,314 --> 00:56:07,111 Let me call you back. 492 00:56:07,783 --> 00:56:09,580 You can do that, 493 00:56:09,685 --> 00:56:12,779 or you can join a commercial raft trip, go with a licensed guide. 494 00:56:12,888 --> 00:56:14,651 They may have some last-minute cancellations, 495 00:56:14,757 --> 00:56:17,248 but that's gonna cost you $2,000. 496 00:56:19,061 --> 00:56:20,790 Thank you very much. 497 00:56:58,667 --> 00:57:00,259 Helmet, man! 498 00:57:39,742 --> 00:57:40,936 I'm Supertramp! 499 00:57:54,056 --> 00:57:57,389 "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, 500 00:57:58,193 --> 00:58:00,718 "the possibility of life is destroyed." 501 00:58:31,326 --> 00:58:32,725 Hello! 502 00:58:35,230 --> 00:58:36,356 Hello. 503 00:58:37,099 --> 00:58:39,533 Come. Join us. 504 00:58:40,803 --> 00:58:42,270 We have hot dogs. 505 00:58:57,719 --> 00:58:59,209 - I'm Mads. - Mads? 506 00:58:59,321 --> 00:59:00,913 - Mads. Hi. - Mads. 507 00:59:01,023 --> 00:59:02,820 - Alex. - Hi, Alex. 508 00:59:02,925 --> 00:59:04,916 Hey. I'm Sonja. 509 00:59:05,761 --> 00:59:07,319 Hey, Alex. 510 00:59:08,764 --> 00:59:12,928 We are from Copenhagen, and you are from the rapids. 511 00:59:13,836 --> 00:59:14,928 I am. 512 00:59:22,110 --> 00:59:24,271 - You're crazy! You're crazy, man. - My God! 513 00:59:24,379 --> 00:59:27,371 Sonja, get away from him. Get away from him. He's crazy! Look, he's crazy. 514 00:59:27,482 --> 00:59:29,643 I'll make you a hot dog. One minute. 515 00:59:32,754 --> 00:59:35,917 I love this. Don't you love this? 516 00:59:36,158 --> 00:59:39,525 You know, this is nature. 517 00:59:48,670 --> 00:59:50,535 So where are you going? 518 00:59:51,206 --> 00:59:53,731 - I haven't decided yet. - Really? 519 00:59:53,842 --> 00:59:57,175 Well, we like it here very much. And it's so good to meet you, man. 520 00:59:57,279 --> 00:59:58,371 So good to meet you. 521 00:59:58,547 --> 01:00:02,506 You know, we went to Los Angeles, and then we went to Las Vegas. 522 01:00:02,618 --> 01:00:07,453 Oh, yeah. Las Vegas is very nice. The universe is so good. 523 01:00:12,394 --> 01:00:15,192 - The universe is very good. - You know what I mean? 524 01:00:15,297 --> 01:00:17,492 - Yeah. - The whole universe. 525 01:00:17,699 --> 01:00:21,965 Just the place. The city, she means. Her English is not very good. 526 01:00:22,137 --> 01:00:27,074 But then we came here. I don't care if she's a little stupid, but I like her. 527 01:00:28,277 --> 01:00:30,877 You know you can actually go all the way down to Mexico from here. 528 01:00:30,946 --> 01:00:31,935 - Yeah? - Yeah. 529 01:00:32,047 --> 01:00:36,575 You can take the kayak, and you can take it all the way around 530 01:00:36,685 --> 01:00:39,051 down to Hoover Dam, you can sail around, 531 01:00:39,154 --> 01:00:43,591 and then from there you can take the river all the way down to Mexico! 532 01:00:44,059 --> 01:00:45,720 - Really? - Yeah. 533 01:00:49,531 --> 01:00:51,465 Come on, come on! 534 01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,298 She's so slow sometimes. 535 01:00:55,337 --> 01:00:58,829 - Here's the map. - But I like her. 536 01:01:01,743 --> 01:01:03,608 - Here. Hoover Dam. - Okay. 537 01:01:03,879 --> 01:01:06,109 About 330 kilometers, I think. 538 01:01:06,214 --> 01:01:09,081 - Miles? - Yeah, miles, about 200 miles. 539 01:01:09,184 --> 01:01:13,211 - Two hundred miles. - Two hundred miles. Yeah, man. 540 01:01:13,755 --> 01:01:15,195 You know, I wonder if I could paddle 541 01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:17,383 all the way down that into the Gulf of California. 542 01:01:17,492 --> 01:01:20,325 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You know, I will go with you. 543 01:01:20,829 --> 01:01:23,320 I will go with you. We leave Sonja here, and then we take the kayak. 544 01:01:23,432 --> 01:01:25,662 No, no. We go all the way down into Mexico. 545 01:01:25,767 --> 01:01:30,500 You know, because in every man's heart, there is a Mexican mistress. 546 01:01:47,255 --> 01:01:48,950 Oh, man. 547 01:01:49,491 --> 01:01:51,789 I've gotta go, you guys. I'm really sorry. I gotta go. 548 01:01:51,893 --> 01:01:53,724 - What's going on? - Why? 549 01:01:53,829 --> 01:01:57,424 The river patrol's after me. I'm actually not supposed to be here, you know. 550 01:01:57,532 --> 01:01:59,124 You have to have, like, a permit, 551 01:01:59,234 --> 01:02:02,863 it's like a government thing to be here, and I didn't get one. 552 01:02:02,971 --> 01:02:04,836 If you see anybody, any of the rangers or anything, 553 01:02:04,940 --> 01:02:06,805 just tell them you didn't see me, okay? 554 01:02:06,908 --> 01:02:07,966 Okay. 555 01:02:08,076 --> 01:02:12,570 Okay, again, I'm really, really sorry, man. I wish I could stay, you know. 556 01:02:12,681 --> 01:02:13,670 Take care, man. 557 01:02:13,782 --> 01:02:14,806 - All right. Take care, Mads. - Nice to meet you. 558 01:02:14,916 --> 01:02:17,817 - Bye, Alex. - I wish... I wish I could stay. 559 01:02:17,919 --> 01:02:20,183 Say hello to Mexico from me. 560 01:02:22,657 --> 01:02:24,784 Bye, Alex! 561 01:02:57,125 --> 01:02:59,992 It would be Christmas in a couple of months, 562 01:03:00,395 --> 01:03:03,956 and the last news we'd had was about his car being found. 563 01:03:04,666 --> 01:03:09,000 I woke up a couple of days ago, and for the first time, it bothered me 564 01:03:09,104 --> 01:03:12,505 that it wasn't only my parents who hadn't heard from Chris. 565 01:03:12,607 --> 01:03:13,733 Honey? 566 01:03:13,842 --> 01:03:18,336 It's me. I'm sorry. Everything that happened, it's my fault. 567 01:03:19,981 --> 01:03:21,846 Give me another chance. 568 01:03:23,752 --> 01:03:27,188 Please do that... Come on. Do that for me. 569 01:03:30,258 --> 01:03:32,556 Come on. They're calling for another quarter right now, 570 01:03:32,661 --> 01:03:35,221 and I ain't got it, so will you hurry it up? 571 01:03:36,598 --> 01:03:38,657 Come on now, don't hang up on me. 572 01:03:39,601 --> 01:03:42,570 Hey, here's a quarter. 573 01:03:42,671 --> 01:03:43,968 Thank you. 574 01:03:44,239 --> 01:03:48,005 There's a quarter just happened out of the sky, 575 01:03:48,110 --> 01:03:51,477 so I'm on here talking to you again. 576 01:03:52,714 --> 01:03:56,172 I got the quarter now, let's... No, no, no, no, no! 577 01:04:01,056 --> 01:04:04,856 I wondered why he hadn't tried to call in case I might answer. 578 01:04:05,193 --> 01:04:07,684 He could've hung up if it wasn't me. 579 01:04:08,897 --> 01:04:12,492 Why wouldn't he send a letter, maybe through a friend? 580 01:04:12,601 --> 01:04:14,193 It hurt a little, 581 01:04:16,638 --> 01:04:19,232 but I told myself it was good. 582 01:04:21,376 --> 01:04:25,142 He knew I loved him enough to bear with the not knowing. 583 01:04:27,315 --> 01:04:31,615 And it helped me remember that there was something more than rebellion, 584 01:04:31,953 --> 01:04:34,513 more than anger that was driving him. 585 01:04:41,062 --> 01:04:44,793 Chris had always been driven, had always been an adventurer. 586 01:04:59,047 --> 01:05:00,878 When he was four years old, 587 01:05:00,982 --> 01:05:05,976 he once wandered six blocks away from home at 3:00 in the morning. 588 01:05:12,727 --> 01:05:15,025 He was found in a neighbor's kitchen 589 01:05:15,130 --> 01:05:18,327 up on a chair, digging through their candy drawer. 590 01:05:20,835 --> 01:05:25,670 Whatever drawer he was opening now must have something pretty sweet in it. 591 01:07:23,992 --> 01:07:27,894 - You lived in a cave for 36 days? - Yes, sir. 592 01:07:28,029 --> 01:07:30,029 And how did you get into Mexico in the first place? 593 01:07:30,131 --> 01:07:32,656 Through the spillway at Morelos Dam. 594 01:07:33,168 --> 01:07:35,159 River dries out pretty quickly beyond there, doesn't it? 595 01:07:35,270 --> 01:07:40,003 Yeah. Turns into a maze of irrigation canals, thanks to our dams up north. 596 01:07:40,475 --> 01:07:44,343 So I ported my kayak over the desert, and I hitched down to Golfo. 597 01:07:45,580 --> 01:07:49,676 But after a few weeks, a sandstorm came up and blew the kayak away. 598 01:07:50,085 --> 01:07:52,383 So I walked back north. Here I am. 599 01:07:52,487 --> 01:07:56,184 Well, you just can't be crossing the borders without any identification. 600 01:07:56,291 --> 01:07:58,156 - Are we understood? - Yes, sir. 601 01:07:58,259 --> 01:08:00,693 I've eaten enough sand to send me back to the city anyway. 602 01:08:00,795 --> 01:08:03,457 All right. Sit tight. I'll be right back. 603 01:08:04,899 --> 01:08:08,926 Some may ask, "Why act now? Why not wait?" 604 01:08:09,771 --> 01:08:13,468 The answer is clear. The world could wait no longer. 605 01:10:40,155 --> 01:10:41,816 Hi. Do you have the time? 606 01:10:42,324 --> 01:10:43,757 - Time? - Time? 607 01:10:43,859 --> 01:10:45,053 Yeah. 608 01:10:46,395 --> 01:10:47,794 Okay. 609 01:11:28,737 --> 01:11:30,068 Front and back. 610 01:11:30,205 --> 01:11:34,164 I don't have any more clipboards, so get one from the other fellas. 611 01:11:34,443 --> 01:11:35,910 - Next. - Hi. 612 01:11:36,178 --> 01:11:38,544 Can you tell me how to get an ID? 613 01:11:38,747 --> 01:11:41,477 - Did you lose your identification, sir? - Yeah. 614 01:11:41,583 --> 01:11:44,108 No birth certificate? Nothing? 615 01:11:44,386 --> 01:11:45,717 Ouch. 616 01:11:45,821 --> 01:11:49,552 All right. Well, you're gonna have to work that out with the DMV. 617 01:11:49,658 --> 01:11:53,924 You can catch them in the morning. The closest one is Montebello, 618 01:11:54,963 --> 01:11:56,954 and we can help you with the bus voucher. 619 01:11:57,065 --> 01:11:59,124 So just come to this desk when you're ready for the voucher. 620 01:11:59,234 --> 01:12:00,826 - Okay. - What's your name? 621 01:12:00,936 --> 01:12:04,565 - Alexander Supertramp. - What's that? 622 01:12:04,673 --> 01:12:10,543 - Alexander Supertramp. - Supertramp. Really? 623 01:12:10,812 --> 01:12:11,779 Yeah. 624 01:12:12,948 --> 01:12:16,645 Okay, so I'm gonna look for you, Supertramp. I got something for you. 625 01:12:19,187 --> 01:12:21,587 - Here you go, Supertramp. - Thank you very much. 626 01:12:21,690 --> 01:12:22,952 Okay, baby. 627 01:12:23,058 --> 01:12:26,084 - And one last thing. - Yeah. 628 01:12:28,030 --> 01:12:30,430 Do you have a bed for me? I'm sorry... 629 01:12:30,532 --> 01:12:34,332 Oh, no. Sure, I got a bed for you. Sign your name right here. 630 01:12:34,436 --> 01:12:39,601 You fill this out. And I'll set you right up. Now, I'm out of... 631 01:12:39,708 --> 01:12:42,541 - What's going on back there? - I got it. I'm sorry. 632 01:12:42,644 --> 01:12:46,011 - Come on, now. Work with me. - All right. Thanks, ma'am. 633 01:12:46,114 --> 01:12:48,378 Supertramp, huh? 634 01:12:51,353 --> 01:12:53,253 You know the drill. 635 01:13:26,521 --> 01:13:28,011 Move it! 636 01:14:15,637 --> 01:14:18,265 Thanks, but I'm not gonna need that bed after all. 637 01:14:18,373 --> 01:14:20,534 You leaving us so soon? Supertramp! 638 01:15:24,272 --> 01:15:28,572 Show me your face. I never, ever, ever forget a face. 639 01:15:29,010 --> 01:15:31,979 If I see yours again, I won't arrest you, I'll kill you. 640 01:15:32,079 --> 01:15:33,944 This is the goddamned railroad, 641 01:15:34,048 --> 01:15:35,675 and we will do whatever we have to do 642 01:15:35,783 --> 01:15:38,183 to keep you freeloaders from violating our liability. 643 01:15:38,286 --> 01:15:39,514 Yes, sir. 644 01:15:43,291 --> 01:15:44,883 You got any ID? 645 01:15:46,260 --> 01:15:49,457 - No, sir. - Of course you don't. 646 01:15:50,364 --> 01:15:52,127 Last time, my friend. 647 01:15:53,267 --> 01:15:54,564 All clear. 648 01:16:02,610 --> 01:16:03,975 Good boy! 649 01:16:22,063 --> 01:16:25,191 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Finally! 650 01:16:28,369 --> 01:16:31,497 It's a mystery to me 651 01:16:32,373 --> 01:16:37,709 We have a greed With which we have agreed 652 01:16:39,180 --> 01:16:43,981 You think you have to want more than you need 653 01:16:45,219 --> 01:16:49,883 Until you have it all you won't be freed 654 01:16:52,827 --> 01:16:58,231 Society, you're a crazy breed 655 01:16:58,799 --> 01:17:04,738 I hope you're not lonely without me 656 01:17:08,209 --> 01:17:13,203 When you want more than you have You think you need 657 01:17:14,148 --> 01:17:19,142 And when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed 658 01:17:20,588 --> 01:17:25,048 I think I need to find a bigger place 659 01:17:26,093 --> 01:17:28,561 'Cause when you have more than you think 660 01:17:28,663 --> 01:17:30,893 You need more space 661 01:17:34,301 --> 01:17:39,671 Society, you're a crazy breed 662 01:17:40,207 --> 01:17:45,144 I hope you're not lonely without me 663 01:17:46,180 --> 01:17:51,083 Society, crazy indeed 664 01:17:51,886 --> 01:17:58,189 I hope you're not lonely without me 665 01:18:47,775 --> 01:18:49,208 Thanks a lot. 666 01:18:58,486 --> 01:19:01,387 In the letters Chris wrote me from college, 667 01:19:01,956 --> 01:19:06,154 it was clear his anguish and problems with Mom and Dad had continued. 668 01:19:15,636 --> 01:19:17,501 He said I was the only person in the world 669 01:19:17,605 --> 01:19:20,233 who could possibly understand what he had to say. 670 01:19:20,341 --> 01:19:23,310 With whose money are you buying all these goddamn presents? 671 01:19:23,410 --> 01:19:25,810 I work. The only reason I'm not talking is because 672 01:19:25,913 --> 01:19:28,674 you're wandering around acting like the big-shot flirt with everybody. 673 01:19:28,682 --> 01:19:32,209 I am making the contacts for this business to work! 674 01:19:32,386 --> 01:19:34,320 You don't care at all about what I do! 675 01:19:34,421 --> 01:19:36,252 I don't even want to talk to you about it anymore! 676 01:19:36,357 --> 01:19:39,383 Don't you walk away from me, woman! Woman! 677 01:19:40,060 --> 01:19:42,392 Kids! Look what your dad is doing to me! 678 01:19:42,596 --> 01:19:45,929 For God's sake, look what your mother is making me do! 679 01:19:46,033 --> 01:19:48,001 Fuck you! I hate you! 680 01:19:50,404 --> 01:19:53,532 There ain't gonna be no party. I'm gonna cancel Christmas this year. 681 01:19:53,674 --> 01:19:56,939 Cancel Christmas? Who do you think you are? God? 682 01:19:57,044 --> 01:19:58,807 That's right! I'm God! 683 01:19:58,946 --> 01:20:01,744 Well, you're not God. You can't cancel Christmas. 684 01:20:02,016 --> 01:20:03,347 That's bullshit! 685 01:21:59,466 --> 01:22:00,956 We're 10 deep! 686 01:22:08,876 --> 01:22:13,643 Alex, I don't mean to be on you about everything. You're doing a great job. 687 01:22:13,881 --> 01:22:17,544 I wanna keep you on and we all wanna help you get to Alaska, 688 01:22:18,252 --> 01:22:20,846 but you've got to start wearing socks. 689 01:22:28,796 --> 01:22:32,493 With almost a year having passed since Chris' disappearance, 690 01:22:33,067 --> 01:22:36,434 my parents' anger, their desperation, 691 01:22:36,537 --> 01:22:38,801 their guilt was giving way to pain. 692 01:22:41,842 --> 01:22:44,436 And pain seemed to bring them closer. 693 01:22:46,814 --> 01:22:48,975 Even their faces had changed. 694 01:23:15,209 --> 01:23:17,643 She convinces herself it's Chris, 695 01:23:19,046 --> 01:23:21,514 that it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 696 01:23:21,515 --> 01:23:23,316 That it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 697 01:23:24,184 --> 01:23:26,550 And I fear for the mother in her. 698 01:23:30,257 --> 01:23:35,217 Instincts that seem to sense the threat of a loss so huge 699 01:23:35,329 --> 01:23:39,993 and irrevocable that the mind balks at taking its measure. 700 01:23:42,236 --> 01:23:46,798 I'd begin to wonder if I can understand all that Chris is saying any longer, 701 01:23:50,010 --> 01:23:52,945 but I catch myself and remember that 702 01:23:53,047 --> 01:23:55,413 these are not the parents he grew up with, 703 01:23:56,717 --> 01:24:01,313 but people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss. 704 01:24:05,959 --> 01:24:10,987 Still, everything Chris is saying has to be said. 705 01:24:12,766 --> 01:24:16,634 And I trust for him that everything he is doing has to be done. 706 01:24:18,439 --> 01:24:20,031 This is our life. 707 01:25:27,774 --> 01:25:31,369 Big game. Very big game. 708 01:25:31,845 --> 01:25:33,005 Got it. 709 01:27:23,991 --> 01:27:25,322 Damn it! 710 01:27:29,696 --> 01:27:30,993 Get off! 711 01:28:13,940 --> 01:28:17,341 "Hey, Dad, can I light the barbeque, please, Dad, this time?" 712 01:28:17,978 --> 01:28:19,445 "Well, Son, you can go get the lighter fluid." 713 01:28:19,546 --> 01:28:21,980 "Come on, Dad. Please, Dad, please?" 714 01:28:22,716 --> 01:28:25,276 "Well, why not, Walt? That sounds like a good idea..." 715 01:28:25,385 --> 01:28:27,250 "Shut up, Carine! Shut up, Carine! 716 01:28:27,354 --> 01:28:31,814 "No, Billie. I told you once. Don't make me tell you again. Okay? 717 01:28:32,192 --> 01:28:33,819 "Okay? 718 01:28:34,127 --> 01:28:35,788 "You hear me? You hear me, woman? 719 01:28:35,896 --> 01:28:38,831 "You hear me, woman? Huh? You hear me, woman?" 720 01:28:41,234 --> 01:28:46,604 "Sorry. Sorry, Walt. I'm sorry." 721 01:28:59,853 --> 01:29:01,013 Shit. 722 01:29:07,127 --> 01:29:14,192 No! No! Damn it! 723 01:29:14,735 --> 01:29:17,397 God damn it! Fuck! 724 01:30:00,781 --> 01:30:05,844 "There was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man. 725 01:30:07,154 --> 01:30:10,646 "It was a place of heathenism and superstitious rites, 726 01:30:12,025 --> 01:30:15,392 "to be inhabited by men nearer of kin to the rocks 727 01:30:15,662 --> 01:30:18,153 "and to the wild animals than we." 728 01:30:40,854 --> 01:30:42,048 Sunni. 729 01:30:42,589 --> 01:30:45,581 Hey, Sunni! Come here, baby. 730 01:30:51,164 --> 01:30:53,758 No. No! 731 01:31:27,434 --> 01:31:30,733 But now all I'm focused on is just Alaska. 732 01:31:30,837 --> 01:31:32,395 - Yeah. - Alaska. 733 01:31:34,374 --> 01:31:37,366 All right. Let's hear it for Insane Cain! 734 01:31:40,847 --> 01:31:43,215 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 735 01:31:43,216 --> 01:31:44,976 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 736 01:31:52,692 --> 01:31:54,592 Hey. My name's Tracy. 737 01:31:54,694 --> 01:31:56,457 - Tracy! - Yeah! 738 01:32:26,560 --> 01:32:29,154 Jack London is king. 739 01:32:30,330 --> 01:32:32,423 Hey, you gonna stay with us long? 740 01:32:33,233 --> 01:32:35,394 Well, I'm waiting on a check from my last job 741 01:32:35,502 --> 01:32:37,834 to come into Salton City the day after Christmas. 742 01:32:37,938 --> 01:32:40,736 I've got to start thinking about getting ready for Alaska. 743 01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:45,368 When the sun gets a little lower tonight, I'm going to start a calisthenics routine. 744 01:32:45,745 --> 01:32:48,475 After the check comes in, I think I'm gonna try to find 745 01:32:48,582 --> 01:32:51,881 some big old mountains I can climb every day until spring comes. 746 01:32:51,985 --> 01:32:54,112 I've got to see how far the money's gonna go. 747 01:32:54,220 --> 01:32:57,747 I've still got a lot of supplies to pick up before spring. 748 01:32:58,658 --> 01:33:03,152 So, I might get another job or I might be okay. 749 01:33:03,730 --> 01:33:07,894 Hell, we'd give you a little something for the days you spend in the booth here. 750 01:33:08,001 --> 01:33:10,435 I'm not taking any money from you, Rainey. 751 01:33:10,937 --> 01:33:13,838 It's been a real great twist meeting you two. 752 01:33:13,940 --> 01:33:16,101 You two look like you're doing good. 753 01:33:16,443 --> 01:33:18,411 - We are doing good. - Yeah? 754 01:33:18,511 --> 01:33:19,671 We're doing real good. 755 01:33:20,413 --> 01:33:23,382 Speaking of which, don't you think 756 01:33:23,483 --> 01:33:27,783 you ought to introduce yourself to our little Joni Mitchell over there? 757 01:33:32,258 --> 01:33:33,225 I... 758 01:34:08,061 --> 01:34:10,586 - Hi. - Hi. 759 01:34:16,269 --> 01:34:18,203 You selling these books? 760 01:34:18,505 --> 01:34:21,303 I am. We are. 761 01:34:22,609 --> 01:34:23,906 He was. 762 01:34:27,681 --> 01:34:29,171 I like to read. 763 01:34:30,050 --> 01:34:32,541 - Do you? - Yeah. 764 01:34:33,253 --> 01:34:35,016 That's good. 765 01:34:36,256 --> 01:34:39,919 I heard you play your song last night. 766 01:34:41,161 --> 01:34:45,860 - I'm terrible. - You are not terrible. You sing sweet. 767 01:34:46,733 --> 01:34:48,030 Thank you. 768 01:34:51,471 --> 01:34:54,599 I was gonna go take a walk to Salvation Mountain. 769 01:34:55,308 --> 01:34:58,038 - You wanna go? - Okay. 770 01:35:06,519 --> 01:35:08,885 - Hi. - Hi. Alex. 771 01:35:09,723 --> 01:35:15,457 I'd like to show you around up here. I've been here since 1984, more or less. 772 01:35:18,264 --> 01:35:19,993 A lot of tourists come in here 773 01:35:20,100 --> 01:35:23,866 and they look at that car door up there. They really like it. 774 01:35:24,771 --> 01:35:28,764 And I found car doors and put them up there and I bolted it all in. 775 01:35:28,875 --> 01:35:30,395 Where did you get the telephone poles? 776 01:35:30,443 --> 01:35:33,276 A lot of people in the valley just love me a lot. 777 01:35:33,413 --> 01:35:35,938 Everybody now, I think, in the whole world is just loving me. 778 01:35:36,049 --> 01:35:39,246 And I want to have the wisdom to love them back. 779 01:35:40,320 --> 01:35:42,914 And that's about it. So I really get excited. 780 01:35:43,022 --> 01:35:44,683 You really believe in love, then. 781 01:35:44,791 --> 01:35:47,123 Yeah. Totally. 782 01:35:47,827 --> 01:35:52,696 This is a love story that is staggering to everybody in the whole world. 783 01:35:52,799 --> 01:35:55,632 That God really loves us a lot. 784 01:35:56,703 --> 01:35:58,170 Does that answer that? 785 01:35:58,271 --> 01:35:59,863 - Yeah. - Good. 786 01:36:01,875 --> 01:36:06,107 I really love it here. I think the freedom of this place is just so beautiful. 787 01:36:06,212 --> 01:36:10,114 To me, I wouldn't move for $10 million, unless I had to. 788 01:36:11,951 --> 01:36:15,614 So I'm contented here in the desert, and I'm living where I want to live. 789 01:36:15,889 --> 01:36:21,384 And I think good gets better. And I think those great big tanks there 790 01:36:21,494 --> 01:36:25,089 were the sewer plant for the Marine base in World War II. 791 01:36:27,734 --> 01:36:30,396 If you want to, you can try putting your hands in there. 792 01:36:30,503 --> 01:36:33,666 And I'm gonna do the same thing, just for the fun. 793 01:36:34,374 --> 01:36:36,239 You're doing real good. 794 01:36:39,679 --> 01:36:43,012 You can wipe your hands off on my shirt if you want. 795 01:37:03,369 --> 01:37:05,860 This is starting to make me hungry. 796 01:37:06,673 --> 01:37:10,700 I was just a couple of years older than Tracy when I got pregnant. 797 01:37:14,581 --> 01:37:16,139 - Wow. - Yeah. 798 01:37:17,984 --> 01:37:22,080 Yeah, I thought my husband and I were going to just make peace on Earth 799 01:37:22,889 --> 01:37:25,653 and babies and love and stay together forever, 800 01:37:28,228 --> 01:37:31,061 and that didn't quite work out that way. 801 01:37:31,164 --> 01:37:33,724 He left me. 802 01:37:37,937 --> 01:37:39,598 So, I... 803 01:37:41,608 --> 01:37:42,597 Anyway, whatever, 804 01:37:42,709 --> 01:37:47,703 but I ended up raising Reno on my own. That's my boy, his name's Reno. 805 01:37:49,382 --> 01:37:51,043 Then I met Rainey. 806 01:37:52,252 --> 01:37:55,278 That was sweet. It was really good for a while. It's just... 807 01:38:00,360 --> 01:38:04,956 You know, Reno was a teenager already by then, 808 01:38:05,098 --> 01:38:08,261 and he was just on his way to becoming his own man. 809 01:38:12,906 --> 01:38:18,367 And I haven't even heard from him in two years. 810 01:38:22,148 --> 01:38:24,343 I don't even know where he is. 811 01:38:24,918 --> 01:38:27,318 I hope I get to meet him sometime. 812 01:38:29,756 --> 01:38:32,122 Do your folks know where you are? 813 01:38:37,063 --> 01:38:40,123 Hey, guys? Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry. 814 01:38:40,233 --> 01:38:43,964 Yeah, we are. We're hungry. 815 01:38:47,540 --> 01:38:49,132 I'll be all right. 816 01:38:59,986 --> 01:39:01,681 You want to come and eat? 817 01:39:02,288 --> 01:39:05,689 Or we'll sit here. Because I will sit here with you all night. 818 01:39:10,964 --> 01:39:12,454 Let's go. Let's go. 819 01:39:15,134 --> 01:39:17,193 Guys, come on. It's getting cold. 820 01:39:20,873 --> 01:39:25,970 Check this out. Tawdry? Denise, that sounds like your cup of tea. 821 01:39:55,808 --> 01:39:59,767 That poor girl is about ready to vault herself onto a fence post. 822 01:40:00,646 --> 01:40:04,946 And here you are, the monk of Jack fucking LaLanne. 823 01:40:11,858 --> 01:40:12,524 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 824 01:40:12,525 --> 01:40:15,858 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 825 01:40:18,898 --> 01:40:22,595 Children can be pretty harsh when it comes to their parents. 826 01:40:23,169 --> 01:40:25,330 You planning on seeing yours? 827 01:40:27,640 --> 01:40:29,938 I've only got one plan, Rainey. 828 01:40:31,044 --> 01:40:33,672 That would be Alaska? 829 01:40:33,913 --> 01:40:35,312 Alaska. 830 01:40:46,859 --> 01:40:47,985 Hello? 831 01:40:49,695 --> 01:40:52,687 - Merry Christmas. - Come in here. 832 01:41:01,874 --> 01:41:03,899 My parents went into town. 833 01:41:05,611 --> 01:41:06,600 No. 834 01:41:06,946 --> 01:41:10,074 Yeah. They went to call my grandma for Christmas. 835 01:41:10,817 --> 01:41:12,910 No, I mean we can't do that. 836 01:41:14,187 --> 01:41:15,381 Why not? 837 01:41:22,628 --> 01:41:24,186 How old are you? 838 01:41:25,164 --> 01:41:26,392 Eighteen. 839 01:41:29,535 --> 01:41:31,002 Seventeen. 840 01:41:32,872 --> 01:41:34,806 What year were you born? 841 01:41:41,681 --> 01:41:43,273 So I'm 16. 842 01:41:57,430 --> 01:41:59,830 You want to do something together? 843 01:43:13,839 --> 01:43:18,469 You can send mail to this address in South Dakota. 844 01:43:20,146 --> 01:43:24,480 I don't know when I'm going to get it, but I'll get it. 845 01:43:28,821 --> 01:43:30,550 You're pretty magic. 846 01:43:30,690 --> 01:43:33,318 - Yeah? - Yeah. 847 01:43:35,294 --> 01:43:36,921 And just remember 848 01:43:37,330 --> 01:43:41,790 if you want something in life, reach out and grab it. 849 01:44:03,155 --> 01:44:05,146 - You take care, kiddo. - You, too. 850 01:44:07,493 --> 01:44:10,519 - New Year's resolution? - We'll work on it. 851 01:45:18,397 --> 01:45:21,161 Just get your pack and get on out of here, okay? 852 01:45:22,335 --> 01:45:24,701 I don't think I could take a hug. 853 01:45:39,418 --> 01:45:40,385 Hey. 854 01:45:52,998 --> 01:45:54,022 Bye! 855 01:46:08,914 --> 01:46:13,476 A year and a half had passed in what Dad called "suspended animation." 856 01:46:21,093 --> 01:46:26,963 The weight of Chris' disappearance had begun to lay down on me full-length. 857 01:46:38,344 --> 01:46:40,539 "I have lived through much, 858 01:46:41,647 --> 01:46:45,344 "and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. 859 01:46:49,188 --> 01:46:51,884 "A quiet secluded life in the country, 860 01:46:53,793 --> 01:46:58,526 "with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, 861 01:47:00,332 --> 01:47:03,768 "and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. 862 01:47:05,638 --> 01:47:08,732 "And work which one hopes may be of some use. 863 01:47:10,409 --> 01:47:14,709 "Then rest, nature, books, music, 864 01:47:15,448 --> 01:47:17,439 "love for one's neighbor. 865 01:47:21,420 --> 01:47:23,854 "Such is my idea of happiness. 866 01:47:26,792 --> 01:47:33,356 "And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, 867 01:47:34,567 --> 01:47:36,501 "and children perhaps. 868 01:47:38,404 --> 01:47:41,202 "What more can the heart of a man desire?" 869 01:47:49,548 --> 01:47:53,951 Comes the morning when I can feel 870 01:47:54,053 --> 01:47:58,387 That there's nothing left to be concealed 871 01:47:58,491 --> 01:48:02,928 Moving on a scene surreal 872 01:48:03,028 --> 01:48:09,092 But my heart will never Never be far from here 873 01:48:09,201 --> 01:48:13,501 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 874 01:48:13,606 --> 01:48:15,173 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 875 01:48:15,174 --> 01:48:18,075 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 876 01:48:18,177 --> 01:48:22,807 I leave here believing More than I had 877 01:48:22,915 --> 01:48:26,544 And there's a reason I will 878 01:48:26,652 --> 01:48:30,816 A reason I'll be back 879 01:48:34,460 --> 01:48:38,829 As I walk the hemisphere 880 01:48:38,931 --> 01:48:43,265 I got my wish to up and disappear 881 01:48:43,369 --> 01:48:47,703 I've been wounded I've been healed 882 01:48:47,806 --> 01:48:50,900 Now for landing I've been 883 01:48:51,010 --> 01:48:53,911 Landing I've been cleared 884 01:48:54,013 --> 01:48:58,541 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 885 01:48:58,651 --> 01:49:02,985 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 886 01:49:03,088 --> 01:49:07,525 I leave here believing More than I had 887 01:49:07,626 --> 01:49:11,619 This love has got no ceiling 888 01:52:19,351 --> 01:52:20,978 Where's your camp? 889 01:52:21,820 --> 01:52:24,311 Just out past Oh-My-God Hot Springs. 890 01:52:25,157 --> 01:52:28,217 I've lived in and around here for six years now 891 01:52:28,794 --> 01:52:30,853 and I've never heard of any place that goes by that name. 892 01:52:30,963 --> 01:52:33,898 - Show me how to get there. - Yeah. 893 01:52:37,569 --> 01:52:40,163 - Ron Franz. - Alex. 894 01:52:40,339 --> 01:52:42,136 Alex? Where you from, Alex? 895 01:52:43,075 --> 01:52:47,034 - West Virginia. - Okay, Alex from West Virginia. 896 01:53:32,124 --> 01:53:36,823 Well, this is something out here. 897 01:53:41,767 --> 01:53:42,961 Don't you... 898 01:53:44,002 --> 01:53:48,701 Don't you worry about those dope smokers and nudists down below there? 899 01:53:48,807 --> 01:53:52,607 No, they keep to themselves pretty much. 900 01:53:52,711 --> 01:53:55,976 You strike me as a bright young man. Am I wrong about that? 901 01:53:57,249 --> 01:53:59,649 I think I've got my head on my shoulders pretty good. 902 01:53:59,751 --> 01:54:01,446 Well, that's what I mean. 903 01:54:06,158 --> 01:54:08,217 How long you been out here? 904 01:54:09,862 --> 01:54:13,059 - Couple of weeks. - And before that? 905 01:54:13,565 --> 01:54:16,693 A lot of places. Been moving around a lot. 906 01:54:17,870 --> 01:54:21,033 - Well, how old are you? - Twenty-three. 907 01:54:22,007 --> 01:54:23,235 Twenty-three years old! 908 01:54:23,342 --> 01:54:26,334 Son, don't you think you ought to be getting an education? 909 01:54:26,445 --> 01:54:29,380 And a job? And making something of this life? 910 01:54:32,651 --> 01:54:34,209 Look, Mr. Franz, 911 01:54:35,420 --> 01:54:39,288 I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one. 912 01:54:40,292 --> 01:54:44,058 You don't need to worry about me. I have a college education. 913 01:54:44,363 --> 01:54:48,493 I'm not destitute. I'm living like this by choice. 914 01:54:50,202 --> 01:54:54,536 - In the dirt? - Yeah, in the dirt. 915 01:54:58,877 --> 01:55:02,540 - Where's your family? - Don't have one anymore. 916 01:55:05,918 --> 01:55:07,408 That's a shame. 917 01:55:10,756 --> 01:55:13,452 Hey, Mr. Franz, I want to show you something. 918 01:55:14,226 --> 01:55:15,420 Come on. 919 01:55:18,230 --> 01:55:19,424 Come on. 920 01:55:45,090 --> 01:55:50,460 It's getting a little steep. A little high for me, kid. 921 01:55:51,964 --> 01:55:53,454 All right, 922 01:55:54,766 --> 01:55:58,031 but even from halfway out, it's quite a sight, isn't it? 923 01:56:00,105 --> 01:56:04,906 From the top, you can see all the way to the Salton Sea, too. 924 01:56:05,610 --> 01:56:08,010 You can see the Salton Sea from up there? 925 01:56:08,347 --> 01:56:09,575 Yes, sir. 926 01:56:10,415 --> 01:56:11,780 My goodness. 927 01:56:12,884 --> 01:56:17,685 - You don't want to go up? - Nope. I don't do these kind of things. 928 01:56:21,360 --> 01:56:23,726 I spent most of my life in the Army. 929 01:56:26,598 --> 01:56:31,297 New Year's Eve, 1957, I was stationed in Okinawa. 930 01:56:32,838 --> 01:56:36,831 My wife and son were here in the States just driving down the road, 931 01:56:36,942 --> 01:56:40,434 and some fella who'd had too much to drink plowed right into them. 932 01:56:41,013 --> 01:56:43,004 Killed them both. 933 01:56:47,419 --> 01:56:52,516 Now you might think the last thing I would do in the world 934 01:56:55,394 --> 01:56:57,123 is go to the whiskey. 935 01:56:58,897 --> 01:57:03,061 But at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do. 936 01:57:03,168 --> 01:57:05,762 And I did it hard! 937 01:57:08,807 --> 01:57:11,275 But pretty soon I realized 938 01:57:12,044 --> 01:57:16,276 I wasn't doing my wife and son any good mourning them with the bottle. 939 01:57:16,681 --> 01:57:20,708 So I pulled myself together and I quit drinking, 940 01:57:21,386 --> 01:57:22,751 cold turkey. 941 01:57:24,056 --> 01:57:28,425 So since all that, this is pretty much me. 942 01:57:29,761 --> 01:57:31,956 Do you ever travel, Mr. Franz? 943 01:57:33,031 --> 01:57:36,091 No, I can't seem to get too far from my leather. 944 01:57:37,836 --> 01:57:42,364 I do a lot of leather engraving. I got a little workshop out in the garage. 945 01:57:42,741 --> 01:57:44,936 Between that and my pension, I do pretty well. 946 01:57:45,043 --> 01:57:47,568 But every time I think I might take a trip somewhere, 947 01:57:47,679 --> 01:57:51,274 I get too far behind on orders and such to consider it. 948 01:57:52,184 --> 01:57:54,846 When we finish eating, I'd love to see your workshop. 949 01:57:54,953 --> 01:57:56,352 - Would you? - Oh, yeah. 950 01:57:56,455 --> 01:57:58,218 I was hoping you'd say that. 951 01:57:58,323 --> 01:58:01,258 - It's amazing how malleable this is. - Yeah, it is. 952 01:58:01,359 --> 01:58:03,054 When the leather is wet you can really... 953 01:58:03,161 --> 01:58:04,458 - It's like butter. - Yeah. 954 01:58:04,563 --> 01:58:08,055 It's amazing. And then it hardens up, and, I mean, it stays right there. 955 01:58:53,178 --> 01:58:58,775 A good whack with the mallet. Crack it down. Whack. Bang. 956 01:59:59,177 --> 02:00:02,840 I went to South Dakota. I worked at a grain elevator 957 02:00:02,948 --> 02:00:05,439 for this guy named Wayne. He was a really good guy. 958 02:00:05,550 --> 02:00:07,142 So I took the Colorado River 959 02:00:07,252 --> 02:00:10,517 all the way down through the Grand Canyon and did rapids, 960 02:00:10,622 --> 02:00:14,217 which is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. 961 02:00:14,359 --> 02:00:19,695 And I took the Colorado down into Mexico, Golfo, where I got stuck. 962 02:00:20,632 --> 02:00:22,930 Salvation Mountain. The Slabs. 963 02:00:24,669 --> 02:00:26,762 What's the "N" stand for? 964 02:00:28,406 --> 02:00:29,532 North. 965 02:00:30,875 --> 02:00:32,502 Alaska? 966 02:00:35,547 --> 02:00:38,015 Son, what the hell are you running from? 967 02:00:39,184 --> 02:00:41,618 You know, I can ask you the same question! 968 02:00:42,687 --> 02:00:45,053 Except I already know the answer! 969 02:00:45,924 --> 02:00:47,414 You do, do you? 970 02:00:48,193 --> 02:00:52,391 I do, Mr. Franz! You got to get back out in the world! 971 02:00:53,231 --> 02:00:56,428 Get out of that lonely house, that little workshop of yours. 972 02:00:56,534 --> 02:01:00,527 Get back out on the road! Really! 973 02:01:01,473 --> 02:01:04,067 You're going to live a long time, Ron! 974 02:01:04,175 --> 02:01:07,406 You should make a radical change in your lifestyle! 975 02:01:08,113 --> 02:01:12,015 I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. 976 02:01:12,584 --> 02:01:16,748 And there you are, stubborn old man, sitting on your butt. 977 02:01:17,922 --> 02:01:20,720 - Sitting on my butt? - Yeah. 978 02:01:22,327 --> 02:01:26,696 I'll show you sitting on my butt! 979 02:01:26,831 --> 02:01:28,822 "Stubborn old man." 980 02:01:30,335 --> 02:01:31,927 I'll show you! 981 02:01:32,470 --> 02:01:34,665 Come on, then! Come on. 982 02:01:37,642 --> 02:01:40,736 Sitting on my butt? Yeah. 983 02:01:42,881 --> 02:01:45,008 Come on, old man. Come climbing. 984 02:01:45,116 --> 02:01:46,811 Sitting on my butt. 985 02:01:47,185 --> 02:01:48,652 Come on. Keep going! 986 02:01:52,524 --> 02:01:54,219 You're doing great! 987 02:01:59,064 --> 02:02:01,658 - Keep going. Keep going, Ron! - Yeah! 988 02:02:03,468 --> 02:02:07,199 Can anybody see this? God, are you watching this right now? 989 02:02:15,413 --> 02:02:16,471 Yeah. 990 02:02:19,584 --> 02:02:23,850 - You all right? - You little pinhead! 991 02:02:41,439 --> 02:02:43,703 I'm gonna miss you when you go. 992 02:02:45,377 --> 02:02:49,040 I'll miss you, too, Ron. But you're wrong if you think 993 02:02:49,147 --> 02:02:53,083 that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. 994 02:02:54,119 --> 02:02:56,417 God's placed it all around us. It's in everything. 995 02:02:56,521 --> 02:02:58,853 It's in anything we can experience. 996 02:02:59,758 --> 02:03:03,250 People just need to change the way they look at those things. 997 02:03:03,361 --> 02:03:05,522 Yeah, I'm gonna take stock of that. 998 02:03:07,465 --> 02:03:08,693 No, I am. 999 02:03:12,937 --> 02:03:13,271 I am. 1000 02:03:13,272 --> 02:03:13,999 I am. 1001 02:03:16,408 --> 02:03:18,569 But I wanted to tell you something. 1002 02:03:22,380 --> 02:03:25,076 From the bits and pieces I put together, 1003 02:03:25,216 --> 02:03:29,243 you know, from what you told me about your family, your mother and your dad. 1004 02:03:31,289 --> 02:03:34,622 And I know you've got your problems with the church, too. 1005 02:03:36,561 --> 02:03:40,258 But there's some kind of bigger thing we can all appreciate, 1006 02:03:41,332 --> 02:03:44,495 and it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. 1007 02:03:50,608 --> 02:03:53,509 But when you forgive, 1008 02:03:55,780 --> 02:03:57,008 you love. 1009 02:04:00,785 --> 02:04:03,811 And when you love, 1010 02:04:04,656 --> 02:04:07,216 God's light shines on you. 1011 02:04:11,963 --> 02:04:15,626 - Holy shit. - I told you about that language. 1012 02:04:25,844 --> 02:04:27,334 I told you so! 1013 02:04:30,248 --> 02:04:33,740 Where are the fucking animals now? I'm hungry! 1014 02:04:33,918 --> 02:04:38,082 I'm fucking hungry! I'm fucking hungry! 1015 02:04:55,173 --> 02:04:58,904 "For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. 1016 02:04:59,811 --> 02:05:03,508 "She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, 1017 02:05:03,615 --> 02:05:06,413 "and to call each thing by its right name." 1018 02:05:09,754 --> 02:05:11,381 "By its right name." 1019 02:05:12,190 --> 02:05:14,488 What is this? What is this one? 1020 02:05:17,595 --> 02:05:22,498 This is Viburnum edule. Viburnum edule. 1021 02:05:27,372 --> 02:05:30,341 Hedysarum alpinum. 1022 02:05:32,477 --> 02:05:37,141 Hedysarum alpinum is wild potato root. Wild potato root. 1023 02:05:39,450 --> 02:05:43,045 Epilobium angustifolium. Fireweed. 1024 02:08:38,496 --> 02:08:41,363 Fuck it all. Fuck it all! 1025 02:11:19,824 --> 02:11:20,813 Hi. 1026 02:11:20,925 --> 02:11:24,053 What are you doing up? It's 3:30 in the morning. 1027 02:11:24,462 --> 02:11:27,625 I heard you get off the couch about a half hour ago. 1028 02:11:28,933 --> 02:11:32,630 Had a funny feeling you might not be here for our breakfast. 1029 02:11:36,874 --> 02:11:41,743 I'm gonna drive you 100 miles to someplace where you can catch a train, 1030 02:11:42,546 --> 02:11:47,210 a plane or hitch a ride and not get stuck out in this desert. 1031 02:11:48,486 --> 02:11:52,422 I'd take you all the way to Alaska if I didn't have an 8:00 mass. 1032 02:11:52,823 --> 02:11:56,190 - Ron, you don't have to do that. - I want to do it. 1033 02:11:57,094 --> 02:12:00,063 Get you started on this thing of yours. 1034 02:12:00,564 --> 02:12:02,555 - On my great... - I know. 1035 02:12:03,267 --> 02:12:05,758 On your great Alaskan adventure. 1036 02:12:06,604 --> 02:12:09,300 Here. Here's a machete. 1037 02:12:11,676 --> 02:12:16,443 Collapsible fishing pole, a few other odds and ends I stuck in there for you. 1038 02:12:19,951 --> 02:12:22,351 - Ron... - Just take it. 1039 02:12:23,754 --> 02:12:26,552 I'll get dressed and meet you in the truck. 1040 02:13:22,847 --> 02:13:24,439 Well, my friend. 1041 02:13:26,951 --> 02:13:27,975 Yep. 1042 02:13:32,423 --> 02:13:34,891 I had an idea. 1043 02:13:36,027 --> 02:13:40,657 You know, my mother was an only child 1044 02:13:41,599 --> 02:13:43,362 and so was my father, 1045 02:13:44,035 --> 02:13:48,301 and I was their only child, 1046 02:13:51,709 --> 02:13:54,371 so when I'm gone, I'm the end of the line. 1047 02:13:55,479 --> 02:13:57,538 My family will be finished. 1048 02:14:01,252 --> 02:14:06,554 What do you say you let me adopt you? 1049 02:14:10,961 --> 02:14:15,022 I can be, say, your grandfather. 1050 02:14:19,470 --> 02:14:21,028 Ron, 1051 02:14:22,673 --> 02:14:26,439 could we talk about this when I get back from Alaska? 1052 02:14:26,844 --> 02:14:28,573 Would that be okay? 1053 02:14:35,920 --> 02:14:39,117 Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Yeah. 1054 02:14:44,095 --> 02:14:45,392 All right, Ron. 1055 02:14:47,798 --> 02:14:49,095 Thank you. 1056 02:15:38,282 --> 02:15:40,443 What did his voice sound like now? 1057 02:15:41,752 --> 02:15:43,913 What would he tell about now? 1058 02:15:44,421 --> 02:15:47,515 Nine, ten. 1059 02:16:37,174 --> 02:16:42,111 I realized that the words to my thoughts were of less and less meaning. 1060 02:16:42,213 --> 02:16:44,306 Chris was writing his story, 1061 02:16:45,816 --> 02:16:48,785 and it had to be Chris who would tell it. 1062 02:19:09,560 --> 02:19:11,994 "To call each thing by its right name. 1063 02:19:16,900 --> 02:19:18,595 "By its right name." 1064 02:20:09,787 --> 02:20:11,812 What if I were smiling 1065 02:20:14,324 --> 02:20:16,622 and running into your arms? 1066 02:20:39,249 --> 02:20:40,978 Would you see then 1067 02:20:46,156 --> 02:20:47,885 what I see now?