1
00:00:10,150 --> 00:00:15,150
Sync And Corrected By Pacifier... :)

2
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,553
This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon.

3
00:01:42,910 --> 00:01:45,754
I say again, we have secured Falcon.

4
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,396
By the time I count to ten...

5
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,677
you will have told me exactly what I need to know.

6
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,117
If not...

7
00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:56,197
the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear.

8
00:01:56,390 --> 00:01:57,232
One

9
00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:58,193
Two

10
00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:58,874
Three

11
00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:00,358
Four

12
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Five

13
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:02,832
Six

14
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:03,952
Seven

15
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:04,713
Eight

16
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,514
Grenade! Sir, get back!

17
00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:22,201
Shit.

18
00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:24,440
Fucking missed it.

19
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:27,032
How did I fucking miss it?

20
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:32,834
Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position.

21
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:34,555
You trained him well.

22
00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:37,120
James...

23
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:41,352
training is over.

24
00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:44,592
Welcome to Kingsman.

25
00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,396
Lancelot.

26
00:02:46,550 --> 00:02:47,551
Sir.

27
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:54,920
I'll deal with this mess personally.

28
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:03,073
I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated.

29
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:04,556
I hope you understand.

30
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:06,235
How can I understand?

31
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,392
You won't tell me anything.

32
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,750
I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad.

33
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,116
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.

34
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,599
But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valor...

35
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:21,119
and if you look closely on the back, there's a number.

36
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,996
And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude...

37
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,073
we'd like to offer you...

38
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:28,591
Let's call it a favor.

39
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:30,280
The nature of it is your choice.

40
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:31,795
Just tell the operator...

41
00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:35,672
"oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you.

42
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:39,681
I don't want your help!

43
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:42,231
I want my husband back!

44
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,276
What's your name, young man?

45
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:52,672
Eggsy

46
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,275
Hello, Eggsy

47
00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:56,681
Can I see that?

48
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:05,438
You take care of this, Eggsy.

49
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,841
All right?

50
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,355
And take care of your mum, too.

51
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:57,876
So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more.

52
00:04:58,030 --> 00:05:00,556
For God's sakes, just rip it off.

53
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:04,237
I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you.

54
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,671
Look, you've made a mistake.

55
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:09,595
I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money.

56
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,240
This isn't about money.

57
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,358
Our boss just wants to talk to you.

58
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,433
Am I meant to find that reassuring?

59
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:17,718
He'll be here soon. He'll explain.

60
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,520
Do you like whiskey?

61
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,921
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.

62
00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:28,279
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.

63
00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:30,399
You will shit.

64
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:53,073
I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far?

65
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:19,961
Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home.

66
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,593
1962 Dalmore.

67
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:34,833
It'd be a sin to spill any.

68
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Don't you think?

69
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,838
Can you hold these? Please?

70
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,032
Thank you.

71
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,718
Everything is clean.

72
00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:52,195
My kind of welcome.

73
00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:01,718
No stomach for violence.

74
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:03,793
I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood...

75
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,873
that is me done.

76
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,231
I'm like...

77
00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:08,721
projectile.

78
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,077
Listen, I'm so sorry...

79
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:16,600
you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest.

80
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:20,920
But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for...

81
00:08:21,070 --> 00:08:25,394
you and I will be the best of friends.

82
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:34,038
To the shop, please.

83
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,511
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.

84
00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:10,156
Arthur.

85
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,556
Galahad.

86
00:09:11,790 --> 00:09:16,432
The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast.

87
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:23,081
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years...

88
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,637
since we last had occasion to use this decanter.

89
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:30,913
Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman.

90
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,521
He will be sorely missed.

91
00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:35,071
To Lancelot.

92
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,560
To Lancelot.

93
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:46,630
I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.

94
00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:49,311
I want each of you to propose a candidate...

95
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:51,837
and have them report to UK HQ...

96
00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:54,158
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.

97
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:55,632
Thank you.

98
00:09:58,150 --> 00:09:58,992
Merlin.

99
00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:01,680
Come in.

100
00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:04,716
Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries...

101
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,601
who were experimenting with biological weaponry.

102
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:08,751
Glasses, gentlemen, please.

103
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,751
Uganda,2012.

104
00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:15,440
Synthetic cathinones.

105
00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:19,037
They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base.

106
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:22,433
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.

107
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,280
Chechnya, 2013.

108
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:27,240
Insurgents turned on one another.

109
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:31,156
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.

110
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:32,391
So what happened to Lancelot?

111
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:36,439
He tracked them to this property in Argentina.

112
00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:37,916
While he had them under surveillance...

113
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,913
he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping.

114
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,755
So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed.

115
00:10:45,630 --> 00:10:47,155
This is his last transmission.

116
00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,676
- Who is he? -Some climate change doomsayer.

117
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,355
Expounds something called "Gaia theory"...

118
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:55,274
about the world healing itself, or some such.

119
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:59,321
But what's curious, is he's not actually missing.

120
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:02,117
This is Professor Arnold...

121
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,318
at Imperial College this morning.

122
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It's all yours.

123
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And don't forget your membership proposal.

124
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:12,873
Try picking a more suitable candidate this time.

125
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:14,919
17 years and still...

126
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:18,711
evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you.

127
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:21,959
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man?

128
00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:24,716
He was as much Kingsman material as any of them.

129
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:26,076
More so.

130
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:29,274
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?

131
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:33,637
Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed.

132
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,836
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.

133
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,111
"With respect"?

134
00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:42,472
The world is changing.

135
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:46,635
There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins.

136
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,118
Eggsy?

137
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Eggsy, come here.

138
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- Got any Rizla, babe? -No.

139
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:17,558
Why don't you do your mum a favor, go down to the shop and get some?

140
00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:19,041
- Get them yourself. -Oi.

141
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,841
What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that?

142
00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:25,477
Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go?

143
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:27,120
I'll tell you what.

144
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:29,034
Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas...

145
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,033
get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone...

146
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:35,114
we'll show your mother how three can be good company.

147
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:38,552
Thanks, babe.

148
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,114
There we go.

149
00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:50,316
Is that better?

150
00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:07,471
If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him?

151
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:09,598
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.

152
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,519
Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem?

153
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:13,519
Eggsy's mum is well fit.

154
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:16,032
- No offense, bruv. -it's all right.

155
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:19,271
One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in.

156
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:20,875
Are you mental, cuz?

157
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:23,715
He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing—

158
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:27,077
about it.

159
00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:29,917
You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing...

160
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,232
just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum?

161
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,233
Pretty much, yeah.

162
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,552
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.

163
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:37,632
It's not worth it.

164
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,396
You boys have outstayed your welcome.

165
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:41,552
Leave.

166
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:44,471
What?

167
00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,073
I'm sorry about that, bruv.

168
00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:50,958
Yeah.

169
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,277
Mug-

170
00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:56,552
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.

171
00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,918
It's freezing. Why are we walking?

172
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:02,913
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?

173
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:05,596
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.

174
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:07,601
Shit!

175
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:14,960
Hold on, boys.

176
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:19,199
Hey, that's my fucking car!

177
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:21,591
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!

178
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,798
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!

179
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:26,516
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!

180
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:30,431
I'm gonna fucking have ya!

181
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:37,115
Floor it, Eggsy!

182
00:14:37,270 --> 00:14:38,112
Floor it!

183
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,230
Wanker!

184
00:14:42,070 --> 00:14:43,595
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.

185
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,752
Eggsyjust stole my fucking car.

186
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,754
I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...

187
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,480
and he's drove off.

188
00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:52,758
No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me.

189
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:55,117
And that means, he's disrespecting you.

190
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:58,154
Hold up! What the...?

191
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:39,832
Dickhead.

192
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,793
Foxes are vermin, cuz.

193
00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:45,395
Should've driven it over.

194
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,518
Should've done a lot of things.

195
00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:49,354
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.

196
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:52,038
I said, get out of the fucking car!

197
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:03,998
Eggsy, there is no such thing as honor amongst thieves.

198
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:08,711
Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with...

199
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:10,715
or you go down.

200
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:12,921
It's up to you.

201
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:15,714
I want to exercise my right to a phone call.

202
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,912
Well, I hope it's to your mum...

203
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:25,597
to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner.

204
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:58,917
Customer Complaints, how may I help you?

205
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:01,280
My name's Eggsy Unwin.

206
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:05,913
Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek.

207
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,350
I'm in Holborn police station...

208
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,194
and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help.

209
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:11,830
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.

210
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,361
Wait! Wait!

211
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,351
Oxfords not brogues.

212
00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:20,475
Your complaint has been duly noted...

213
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:23,793
and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer.

214
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:36,191
Yeah.

215
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,121
You what?

216
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:41,517
L—

217
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:42,951
Yeah.

218
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:46,321
Yes, I totally understand.

219
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,916
Eggsy

220
00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:09,036
Would you like a lift home?

221
00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:10,991
Who are you?

222
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:12,515
The man who got you released.

223
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,001
That ain't an answer.

224
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,517
A little gratitude would be nice.

225
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:20,992
My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal.

226
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,552
Your father saved my life.

227
00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:29,958
So before you was a tailor, was you in the army?

228
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,841
Like an officer.

229
00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:33,520
Not quite.

230
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:35,479
So where was you posted, Iraq or something?

231
00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:37,917
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.

232
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:40,515
But my dad saved your life, yeah?

233
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:45,077
The day your father died, I missed something.

234
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:47,316
And if it weren't for his courage...

235
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:50,394
my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present.

236
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:52,835
So I owe him.

237
00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:56,038
Your father was a brave man.

238
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:59,039
A good man.

239
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:00,237
And having read your files...

240
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,831
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.

241
00:19:02,990 --> 00:19:04,151
You can't talk to me like that.

242
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:05,237
Huge l.Q.

243
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,279
Great performance at primary school.

244
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,521
And it all went tits up.

245
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:12,401
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.

246
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,234
You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you?

247
00:19:14,390 --> 00:19:15,880
Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies.

248
00:19:16,070 --> 00:19:18,641
First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics...

249
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:20,030
two years in a row.

250
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,397
Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.

251
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,234
Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad...

252
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:25,880
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

253
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,759
Of course. Always someone else's fault.

254
00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:31,154
Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines?

255
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:33,711
You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

256
00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:35,872
Because my mum went mental.

257
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,840
Banging on about losing me as well as my dad.

258
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:41,436
Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you.

259
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,991
Judging people like me from your ivory towers...

260
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,391
with no thought about why we do what we do.

261
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:49,436
We ain't got much choice. You get me?

262
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:52,271
And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses...

263
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:55,274
we'd do just as well as you. If not, better.

264
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:58,274
What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss?

265
00:20:00,070 --> 00:20:01,231
Some more examples of young men...

266
00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:03,119
who simply need a silver suppository?

267
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,795
No, they're exceptions. Come on.

268
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,395
Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks.

269
00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:07,631
After you nicked his car...

270
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:09,116
Dean says you're fair game.

271
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:10,760
He don't give a shit what your mum says.

272
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:12,281
Listen, boys...

273
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,638
I've had a rather emotional day...

274
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:20,114
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded...

275
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,960
I'd appreciate it enormously...

276
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:24,078
if you could just leave us in peace...

277
00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:26,801
until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness.

278
00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:32,521
You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all.

279
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:34,155
He ain't joking. You should go.

280
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,151
Excuse me.

281
00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:46,675
If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street.

282
00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:53,956
Manners...

283
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:56,436
maketh...

284
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,715
man.

285
00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:09,954
Do you know what that means?

286
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:13,992
Then let me teach you a lesson.

287
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:25,913
Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?

288
00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:13,719
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty—

289
00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:56,361
Sorry about that.

290
00:22:56,510 --> 00:22:58,274
Needed to let off a little steam.

291
00:22:59,430 --> 00:23:02,957
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.

292
00:23:03,110 --> 00:23:05,158
He knew your father too, actually.

293
00:23:07,670 --> 00:23:09,798
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.

294
00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:11,952
I shouldn't have done this in front of you.

295
00:23:12,110 --> 00:23:14,112
No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear!

296
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,800
If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut.

297
00:23:15,950 --> 00:23:17,315
- You won't tell a soul? -Ask the feds.

298
00:23:17,470 --> 00:23:18,471
I've never grassed anyone up.

299
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:20,951
- Is that a promise? -On my life!

300
00:23:25,150 --> 00:23:26,993
Much appreciated, Eggsy.

301
00:23:27,150 --> 00:23:28,914
You're right about the snobs.

302
00:23:29,070 --> 00:23:31,311
But there, too, there are exceptions.

303
00:23:32,230 --> 00:23:34,039
Best of luck with everything.

304
00:23:48,350 --> 00:23:52,594
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night.

305
00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:55,560
The story of the internet billionaire's rise to power...

306
00:23:55,710 --> 00:23:58,520
is expected to be this award season's hot ticket.

307
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,674
One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea...

308
00:24:01,830 --> 00:24:05,357
still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert.

309
00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:07,080
No ransom has been demanded.

310
00:24:07,230 --> 00:24:09,198
Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna...

311
00:24:10,390 --> 00:24:11,880
No, please, don't hurt him!

312
00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:13,714
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!

313
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,116
Shut the fuck up!

314
00:24:15,270 --> 00:24:17,398
Who was with you in that fucking pub?

315
00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:19,712
I want to know the name of the geezer you was with.

316
00:24:19,870 --> 00:24:21,713
- I wasn't with no one! -Who was it?

317
00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:23,281
- I don't know what you're on about. -Who was it?

318
00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:24,591
I don't know who you're fucking on about!

319
00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:25,876
Fucking tell me his name!

320
00:24:26,030 --> 00:24:28,351
I don't know who you're fucking on about!

321
00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:33,591
You listen to me!

322
00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:35,718
I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand?

323
00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:37,759
I want to know his fucking name!

324
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:40,880
Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off.

325
00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:44,113
- Tell me! - I don't know what you're fucking on about!

326
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:45,317
Just tell him, Eggsy!

327
00:24:45,470 --> 00:24:47,279
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!

328
00:24:47,430 --> 00:24:48,716
I could kill you right now...

329
00:24:48,870 --> 00:24:51,396
and no one in the whole world will notice!

330
00:24:51,550 --> 00:24:53,234
But I would.

331
00:24:53,390 --> 00:24:55,233
I have enough evidence on your activities...

332
00:24:55,390 --> 00:24:57,392
to have you locked up for the rest of your life...

333
00:24:57,550 --> 00:24:59,791
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. -What the fuck?

334
00:24:59,990 --> 00:25:01,560
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...

335
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:05,311
or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities.

336
00:25:06,310 --> 00:25:08,881
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about.

337
00:25:09,030 --> 00:25:11,510
What the fuck's going on here?

338
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:14,676
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!

339
00:25:14,830 --> 00:25:16,036
Hey, we got a racer!

340
00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:17,680
Come here. Hey!

341
00:25:18,390 --> 00:25:19,516
EQQSY. you fucking—

342
00:25:19,670 --> 00:25:20,956
Come here, son!

343
00:25:33,390 --> 00:25:34,471
You wanker!

344
00:25:34,630 --> 00:25:36,280
I'll have you, son!

345
00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:03,712
I've never met a tailor before.

346
00:26:04,550 --> 00:26:05,881
But I know you ain't one.

347
00:26:09,830 --> 00:26:11,514
Come with me.

348
00:26:20,190 --> 00:26:21,476
Come on in.

349
00:26:27,190 --> 00:26:28,191
What do you see?

350
00:26:28,470 --> 00:26:31,713
Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on.

351
00:26:33,390 --> 00:26:35,757
I see a young man with potential.

352
00:26:37,070 --> 00:26:38,834
A young man who is loyal.

353
00:26:39,990 --> 00:26:41,719
Who can do as he's asked.

354
00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:44,680
And who wants to do something good with his life.

355
00:26:46,270 --> 00:26:48,272
Did you see the film Trading Places?

356
00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:50,355
No.

357
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,275
How about Nikita?

358
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:54,681
Pretty Woman?

359
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:56,671
All right.

360
00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:59,879
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path...

361
00:27:00,030 --> 00:27:01,873
but you needn't stay on it.

362
00:27:02,110 --> 00:27:06,957
If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.

363
00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:09,353
Like in My Fair Lady.

364
00:27:10,390 --> 00:27:12,438
Well, you're full of surprises.

365
00:27:12,710 --> 00:27:15,395
Yes, like My Fair Lady.

366
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:19,758
Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman.

367
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:21,761
A tailor?

368
00:27:22,230 --> 00:27:23,561
A Kingsman agent.

369
00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:26,396
Like a spy?

370
00:27:26,590 --> 00:27:27,716
Of sorts.

371
00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:30,552
Interested?

372
00:27:31,230 --> 00:27:33,392
You think I've got anything to lose?

373
00:27:40,550 --> 00:27:41,915
Since 1849...

374
00:27:42,070 --> 00:27:46,234
Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals.

375
00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:51,078
By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One.

376
00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:55,232
That meant a lot of money going uninherited.

377
00:27:55,390 --> 00:27:59,440
And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life.

378
00:27:59,590 --> 00:28:02,514
Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence...

379
00:28:02,670 --> 00:28:04,320
for the greater good.

380
00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:07,758
And so began our other venture.

381
00:28:08,590 --> 00:28:10,911
An independent, international intelligence agency...

382
00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:14,438
operating at the highest level of discretion.

383
00:28:15,230 --> 00:28:16,720
Above the politics and bureaucracy...

384
00:28:16,870 --> 00:28:21,080
that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations.

385
00:28:21,790 --> 00:28:24,157
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.

386
00:28:24,990 --> 00:28:28,073
And the Kingsman agents are the new knights.

387
00:28:29,150 --> 00:28:30,754
How deep does this fucking thing go?

388
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:31,957
Deep enough.

389
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:18,314
Shit, we're late.

390
00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:45,516
Your father had the same look on his face.

391
00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:48,555
As did I.

392
00:29:50,230 --> 00:29:51,356
Come on.

393
00:29:54,150 --> 00:29:55,197
Galahad.

394
00:29:55,350 --> 00:29:56,351
My code name.

395
00:29:56,510 --> 00:29:58,000
Late again, sir.

396
00:29:58,350 --> 00:29:59,681
Good luck.

397
00:30:00,030 --> 00:30:01,361
In you go.

398
00:30:12,870 --> 00:30:14,031
Fall in.

399
00:30:16,270 --> 00:30:19,114
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.

400
00:30:19,270 --> 00:30:20,351
You are about to embark...

401
00:30:20,510 --> 00:30:23,241
on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world.

402
00:30:24,070 --> 00:30:28,917
One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot.

403
00:30:29,670 --> 00:30:32,913
Can anybody tell me what this is?

404
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:35,394
- Yes? -Body bag, sir.

405
00:30:35,550 --> 00:30:37,871
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?

406
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:38,957
Yes, sir.

407
00:30:39,110 --> 00:30:39,872
Good.

408
00:30:40,030 --> 00:30:42,397
In a moment, you will each collect a body bag.

409
00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,399
You will write your name on that bag.

410
00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:47,993
You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag.

411
00:30:48,150 --> 00:30:51,438
This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face...

412
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:54,879
as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality.

413
00:30:55,030 --> 00:30:58,113
Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you...

414
00:30:58,390 --> 00:31:00,711
and your next of kin...

415
00:31:01,190 --> 00:31:02,760
being in that bag.

416
00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:05,841
Is that understood?

417
00:31:07,350 --> 00:31:08,511
Excellent.

418
00:31:09,110 --> 00:31:10,396
Fall out.

419
00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:20,111
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.

420
00:31:20,870 --> 00:31:22,281
- I'm Eggsy'- _'Eggy"?

421
00:31:22,430 --> 00:31:23,397
No, Eggsy

422
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:24,921
Eggy

423
00:31:25,070 --> 00:31:26,196
Where did they dig you up?

424
00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:28,478
You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us.

425
00:31:28,630 --> 00:31:29,916
No need to bite his head off.

426
00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:32,437
Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie?

427
00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:34,270
I'm Digby.

428
00:31:35,550 --> 00:31:36,233
Dig by-.

429
00:31:36,390 --> 00:31:37,801
Eggy, this is Rufus.

430
00:31:37,950 --> 00:31:39,475
Rufus, E993'-

431
00:31:41,630 --> 00:31:44,440
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?

432
00:31:44,910 --> 00:31:45,593
Neither.

433
00:31:45,750 --> 00:31:47,081
- Saint Andrews? -Durham?

434
00:31:47,230 --> 00:31:49,153
No, wait, I think we may have met.

435
00:31:49,310 --> 00:31:52,871
Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station?

436
00:31:52,990 --> 00:31:53,718
No.

437
00:31:54,430 --> 00:31:56,956
It's definitely Saint Andrews.

438
00:31:57,510 --> 00:31:58,716
Just ignore them.

439
00:31:58,870 --> 00:31:59,951
You need a pen?

440
00:32:00,110 --> 00:32:00,872
Cheers.

441
00:32:01,030 --> 00:32:02,441
Amelia, isn't it?

442
00:32:02,630 --> 00:32:04,041
Amelia, Eggsy

443
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:05,351
Hi, Eggsy

444
00:32:05,710 --> 00:32:07,474
Don't take any notice of those guys.

445
00:32:07,630 --> 00:32:09,314
That's what I told him.

446
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:12,836
It's just scare tactics.

447
00:32:13,190 --> 00:32:14,715
Classic army technique.

448
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:16,031
No one's gonna die.

449
00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:21,396
Shame.

450
00:32:23,510 --> 00:32:25,717
Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know.

451
00:32:25,870 --> 00:32:28,396
Nobody knows who this guy is?

452
00:32:29,150 --> 00:32:30,151
Fine.

453
00:32:30,310 --> 00:32:31,675
Seriously, it's fine.

454
00:32:31,870 --> 00:32:35,716
Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here.

455
00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:39,357
Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue.

456
00:32:39,510 --> 00:32:41,239
I could've retired straight out of MIT...

457
00:32:41,390 --> 00:32:43,870
fucked off to some island, let the business run itself.

458
00:32:44,030 --> 00:32:46,795
Nobody told me to try and save the planet.

459
00:32:46,950 --> 00:32:48,600
I wanted to.

460
00:32:48,750 --> 00:32:52,471
Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...

461
00:32:52,630 --> 00:32:54,439
and you know why I quit?

462
00:32:54,870 --> 00:32:59,637
Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked.

463
00:32:59,950 --> 00:33:02,476
Hence, my epiphany-

464
00:33:02,630 --> 00:33:05,395
Money won't solve this.

465
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,230
Those idiots who call themselves politicians...

466
00:33:08,390 --> 00:33:12,440
have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election.

467
00:33:13,230 --> 00:33:17,554
So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution.

468
00:33:18,150 --> 00:33:20,073
And I found it.

469
00:33:21,150 --> 00:33:24,279
Now, if you really want to make the world a better place...

470
00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:28,913
I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you.

471
00:33:29,110 --> 00:33:30,953
Go on, Mr. Valentine.

472
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:32,635
I'm still listening.

473
00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:37,321
As long as you agree to all my terms.

474
00:34:25,510 --> 00:34:27,035
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.

475
00:34:27,310 --> 00:34:28,357
Stay calm.

476
00:34:29,190 --> 00:34:29,873
Fuck.

477
00:34:32,030 --> 00:34:33,555
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!

478
00:34:33,830 --> 00:34:34,797
Loo snorkels?

479
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:35,798
Showerheads!

480
00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:37,872
Showerheads?

481
00:34:38,030 --> 00:34:39,475
She's right. Fucking go!

482
00:34:41,390 --> 00:34:43,916
Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door?

483
00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:10,400
Congratulations on completing your first task.

484
00:36:10,670 --> 00:36:13,321
Charlie, Roxy, well done.

485
00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:15,279
For those of you who are still confused...

486
00:36:15,430 --> 00:36:17,637
if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet...

487
00:36:17,790 --> 00:36:19,633
you have an unlimited air supply.

488
00:36:19,790 --> 00:36:22,270
Simple physics, worth remembering.

489
00:36:22,470 --> 00:36:25,758
Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror.

490
00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:26,911
He's probably seen enough of them.

491
00:36:27,070 --> 00:36:29,960
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces.

492
00:36:30,150 --> 00:36:33,950
Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed.

493
00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:37,359
You all forgot the most important thing...

494
00:36:38,350 --> 00:36:39,636
teamwork.

495
00:36:53,830 --> 00:36:56,481
So much for classic army technique.

496
00:36:59,670 --> 00:37:00,910
35.

497
00:37:01,590 --> 00:37:02,955
105.

498
00:37:03,590 --> 00:37:05,911
That's it. That's it.

499
00:37:10,510 --> 00:37:11,193
Hello.

500
00:37:11,950 --> 00:37:12,997
Can I help you?

501
00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:16,558
Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force.

502
00:37:18,030 --> 00:37:21,159
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.

503
00:37:23,030 --> 00:37:24,680
My colleague died trying to rescue you...

504
00:37:24,870 --> 00:37:26,554
and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was...

505
00:37:26,710 --> 00:37:29,316
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go.

506
00:37:29,470 --> 00:37:31,234
I have no idea what you're talking—

507
00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:34,271
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was—

508
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:36,354
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.

509
00:37:36,510 --> 00:37:37,841
Man up!

510
00:37:58,670 --> 00:38:00,593
Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna—

511
00:38:02,150 --> 00:38:04,118
He made me kill Professor Arnold.

512
00:38:04,270 --> 00:38:05,601
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.

513
00:38:05,750 --> 00:38:06,831
Well, the good news is...

514
00:38:06,990 --> 00:38:08,799
we know the emergency and surveillance system work.

515
00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:10,918
You know what's not good news?

516
00:38:11,070 --> 00:38:12,799
"My colleague died!"

517
00:38:12,950 --> 00:38:14,361
That's what he said!

518
00:38:14,510 --> 00:38:16,877
This is an organization, and they're all over us.

519
00:38:17,110 --> 00:38:18,874
- Whoever you spoke to— -I told you...

520
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:22,591
I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing.

521
00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:24,161
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.

522
00:38:24,590 --> 00:38:25,876
Beijing-

523
00:38:26,310 --> 00:38:30,554
So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service.

524
00:38:30,990 --> 00:38:33,152
Now, that's what you call a secret, right?

525
00:38:34,190 --> 00:38:35,919
You know what? Fuck it.

526
00:38:36,390 --> 00:38:37,960
We need to speed things up.

527
00:38:38,150 --> 00:38:39,481
Bring the product release forward.

528
00:38:39,630 --> 00:38:41,473
We're only halfway into production...

529
00:38:41,630 --> 00:38:43,075
and speeding it will cost a fortune.

530
00:38:43,230 --> 00:38:44,516
Do I look like I give a fuck?

531
00:38:44,750 --> 00:38:46,593
Just get it done.

532
00:38:49,110 --> 00:38:51,681
As some of you will have learned last night...

533
00:38:53,110 --> 00:38:56,319
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.

534
00:38:56,470 --> 00:39:00,270
We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit.

535
00:39:00,430 --> 00:39:03,877
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.

536
00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,873
Wherever you go, your dog goes.

537
00:39:06,030 --> 00:39:08,237
You will care for it. You will teach it.

538
00:39:08,430 --> 00:39:11,479
And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be.

539
00:39:11,630 --> 00:39:14,236
Those of you who are still here, that is.

540
00:39:14,390 --> 00:39:16,313
Do you understand?

541
00:39:16,510 --> 00:39:18,399
Choose YOUF PUPPY-

542
00:39:21,070 --> 00:39:22,231
A Doodle?

543
00:39:22,390 --> 00:39:23,232
What?

544
00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:25,074
They're gun dogs.

545
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:26,720
Oldest working breed.

546
00:39:26,910 --> 00:39:28,674
Easy to train.

547
00:39:29,710 --> 00:39:30,996
A pug?

548
00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:34,034
It's a bulldog, innit?

549
00:39:36,470 --> 00:39:37,835
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?

550
00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:43,878
Shit.

551
00:39:45,870 --> 00:39:49,192
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.

552
00:39:49,390 --> 00:39:52,360
No direct brain trauma at all.

553
00:39:52,670 --> 00:39:54,752
How much longer can he be out?

554
00:39:54,910 --> 00:39:56,071
That's the million-dollar question.

555
00:39:56,270 --> 00:39:58,079
We don't know what he was exposed to in there.

556
00:39:58,270 --> 00:39:59,715
What about Harry's footage?

557
00:39:59,870 --> 00:40:01,554
It didn't stream to his home terminal.

558
00:40:01,710 --> 00:40:04,680
Encrypted and uncrackable.

559
00:40:04,910 --> 00:40:06,071
If and when he comes around...

560
00:40:06,230 --> 00:40:08,836
you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password.

561
00:40:09,030 --> 00:40:10,680
Is he gonna be all right?

562
00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:13,520
We need to have patience, Eggsy.

563
00:40:13,950 --> 00:40:15,281
But there's hope, okay?

564
00:40:15,870 --> 00:40:17,554
If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training.

565
00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:19,912
Make it through the tests. Make him proud.

566
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,040
Come on, come on, come on!

567
00:40:29,190 --> 00:40:31,272
J.B., come on! Come on!

568
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:36,392
I'm not coming last because of you.

569
00:40:37,230 --> 00:40:39,710
J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!

570
00:40:40,950 --> 00:40:42,634
Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you.

571
00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:46,315
Bollocks.

572
00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:29,797
Water!

573
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:34,600
- Come on, then! -Eggsy, forget it!

574
00:41:34,750 --> 00:41:36,275
What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke?

575
00:41:36,430 --> 00:41:38,592
Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it.

576
00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:40,280
Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out!

577
00:41:40,430 --> 00:41:41,795
Do it. Come on, you pleb.

578
00:41:41,950 --> 00:41:43,361
Charlie, fuck off!

579
00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:48,440
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.

580
00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:50,871
Come on, J.B.

581
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,111
Come on, good boy.

582
00:42:05,910 --> 00:42:08,311
You have exactly one hour to complete the test...

583
00:42:08,470 --> 00:42:10,040
starting now.

584
00:42:12,110 --> 00:42:13,839
New target, 800 meters.

585
00:42:14,030 --> 00:42:15,634
You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here...

586
00:42:15,790 --> 00:42:19,317
lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush.

587
00:42:19,470 --> 00:42:20,995
Roger that. Target identified.

588
00:42:21,150 --> 00:42:23,152
And how about you shut the fuck up?

589
00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:24,436
Positive discrimination...

590
00:42:24,590 --> 00:42:26,035
that's what it is.

591
00:42:26,190 --> 00:42:29,353
It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades...

592
00:42:29,550 --> 00:42:31,154
because their mum is a one-legged lesbian.

593
00:42:31,310 --> 00:42:32,835
You don't know fuck all about my grades.

594
00:42:32,990 --> 00:42:34,879
Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated.

595
00:42:35,030 --> 00:42:36,520
Fire when ready.

596
00:42:38,670 --> 00:42:40,672
How's that for positive discrimination?

597
00:42:53,350 --> 00:42:55,159
I want to thank you both for listening...

598
00:42:55,310 --> 00:42:58,393
and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way...

599
00:42:58,550 --> 00:42:59,551
Your Royal Highness.

600
00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:01,514
And you, too, Prime Minister.

601
00:43:01,670 --> 00:43:04,719
I think this is quite brilliant.

602
00:43:05,190 --> 00:43:07,716
It's absolutely brilliant.

603
00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:11,314
You are completely crazy.

604
00:43:13,350 --> 00:43:14,920
And as for you, Prime Minister

605
00:43:15,030 --> 00:43:17,237
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.

606
00:43:22,550 --> 00:43:25,520
- Don't touch— -Sorry, Your Royal Highness.

607
00:43:25,670 --> 00:43:26,717
But you've got a big role to play...

608
00:43:26,870 --> 00:43:29,441
in getting the Scandinavian region back on track.

609
00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:31,115
You're popular, inspirational...

610
00:43:31,270 --> 00:43:33,716
and you have the power to galvanize the people.

611
00:43:33,870 --> 00:43:36,714
Now, whether you're on board or not...

612
00:43:36,870 --> 00:43:38,520
I'm going to have to insist...

613
00:43:38,670 --> 00:43:41,560
on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety.

614
00:43:42,070 --> 00:43:44,277
How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out?

615
00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:46,755
Well, I think it's about time...

616
00:43:46,910 --> 00:43:51,598
that a politician did something that actually made a difference.

617
00:43:52,070 --> 00:43:53,913
Too true.

618
00:43:54,070 --> 00:43:54,912
What?

619
00:43:55,070 --> 00:43:56,401
Take her away.

620
00:44:00,070 --> 00:44:00,912
Drink?

621
00:44:01,910 --> 00:44:03,435
Why not?

622
00:44:05,350 --> 00:44:07,318
Guards! Help!

623
00:44:07,390 --> 00:44:08,118
Don't worry.

624
00:44:08,310 --> 00:44:09,755
No harm will come to the princess.

625
00:44:10,270 --> 00:44:14,400
Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter.

626
00:44:15,910 --> 00:44:16,718
Release the princess!

627
00:44:50,630 --> 00:44:51,791
Okay, you're done.

628
00:44:51,950 --> 00:44:53,475
Not so bad, right?

629
00:44:53,990 --> 00:44:55,833
Hardly felt a thing.

630
00:44:56,150 --> 00:44:57,640
Welcome aboard.

631
00:44:58,110 --> 00:44:59,953
Pleasure is all mine.

632
00:45:06,270 --> 00:45:07,271
Ever heard of knocking?

633
00:45:08,470 --> 00:45:09,835
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.

634
00:45:11,310 --> 00:45:12,471
Merlin said you wanted to see me?

635
00:45:13,790 --> 00:45:15,838
I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is.

636
00:45:16,110 --> 00:45:17,157
Sit.

637
00:45:19,670 --> 00:45:22,560
Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates.

638
00:45:22,710 --> 00:45:25,190
Your test results were even better than I could've hoped.

639
00:45:27,830 --> 00:45:28,991
Come in.

640
00:45:33,190 --> 00:45:35,841
Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation.

641
00:45:35,990 --> 00:45:36,957
You're dismissed.

642
00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:38,834
Nonsense. Let him observe.

643
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:40,674
Might learn a thing or two.

644
00:45:41,190 --> 00:45:43,192
As you wish. Take a look at this.

645
00:45:43,350 --> 00:45:45,159
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.

646
00:45:45,310 --> 00:45:46,152
Man up!

647
00:45:46,830 --> 00:45:48,514
Fucking hell!

648
00:45:48,670 --> 00:45:50,638
That is rank, Harry.

649
00:45:51,350 --> 00:45:52,715
You blew up his head?

650
00:45:52,870 --> 00:45:54,315
It's a bit much, innit?

651
00:45:54,470 --> 00:45:58,156
Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck.

652
00:45:58,350 --> 00:45:59,875
Here, under the scar.

653
00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:02,716
Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it?

654
00:46:02,870 --> 00:46:04,395
Fortunately, yes.

655
00:46:04,710 --> 00:46:06,678
Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to...

656
00:46:06,830 --> 00:46:09,037
is registered to the Valentine Corporation.

657
00:46:09,190 --> 00:46:12,034
That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide.

658
00:46:12,230 --> 00:46:14,392
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.

659
00:46:17,990 --> 00:46:20,197
Did you not see his announcement today?

660
00:46:20,870 --> 00:46:22,076
No.

661
00:46:26,110 --> 00:46:29,671
We each spend on average $2,000 a year...

662
00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:31,759
on cell phone and internet usage.

663
00:46:31,910 --> 00:46:35,039
It gives me great pleasure to announce...

664
00:46:35,190 --> 00:46:37,761
those days are over.

665
00:46:37,910 --> 00:46:38,957
As of tomorrow...

666
00:46:39,110 --> 00:46:42,956
every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card...

667
00:46:43,110 --> 00:46:47,240
compatible with any cell phone, any computer...

668
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:51,594
and utilize my communications network for free.

669
00:46:51,750 --> 00:46:53,081
Free calls...

670
00:46:53,270 --> 00:46:54,760
free internet...

671
00:46:54,910 --> 00:46:56,435
for everyone.

672
00:46:57,430 --> 00:46:58,761
Forever.

673
00:47:14,590 --> 00:47:17,275
Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar.

674
00:47:17,790 --> 00:47:20,441
I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a téte-é-téte.

675
00:47:23,950 --> 00:47:26,430
He's having a gala dinner next week.

676
00:47:26,590 --> 00:47:29,434
I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though.

677
00:47:29,630 --> 00:47:31,598
Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.

678
00:47:31,750 --> 00:47:34,117
No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold.

679
00:47:34,470 --> 00:47:38,191
Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping.

680
00:47:50,990 --> 00:47:52,151
Fuck, fuck, fuck!

681
00:47:52,310 --> 00:47:53,471
What, don't like heights?

682
00:47:53,630 --> 00:47:54,631
Yeah, it's okay.

683
00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:58,477
I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it.

684
00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:01,679
Hey, it's gonna be all right.

685
00:48:01,830 --> 00:48:03,275
You're top of the class.

686
00:48:05,270 --> 00:48:06,510
Listen up.

687
00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:09,480
Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you.

688
00:48:09,630 --> 00:48:13,316
If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home.

689
00:48:13,670 --> 00:48:14,831
Is that understood?

690
00:48:18,350 --> 00:48:20,956
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.

691
00:48:22,310 --> 00:48:23,721
We gotta go.

692
00:48:32,990 --> 00:48:34,879
Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this.

693
00:48:35,030 --> 00:48:36,031
Of course you can't.

694
00:48:36,190 --> 00:48:37,521
Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah?

695
00:48:46,030 --> 00:48:48,032
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!

696
00:48:49,030 --> 00:48:50,555
Roxy, just stop fucking about!

697
00:48:52,150 --> 00:48:53,037
Follow me, yeah?

698
00:49:07,230 --> 00:49:09,073
Come on!

699
00:49:10,350 --> 00:49:12,398
Roxy, it's now or never.

700
00:49:13,670 --> 00:49:14,910
Jump!

701
00:49:33,550 --> 00:49:34,881
Good girl, Rox...

702
00:49:35,030 --> 00:49:36,634
I'm glad you made it!

703
00:49:49,430 --> 00:49:51,114
Yeah!

704
00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:52,751
Come on!

705
00:49:55,150 --> 00:49:57,278
My, my, you're all very cheerful.

706
00:49:57,430 --> 00:49:59,592
Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward?

707
00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:02,157
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.

708
00:50:02,310 --> 00:50:05,996
A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure.

709
00:50:06,590 --> 00:50:10,072
Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute.

710
00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:13,120
- What, no parachute? -Shit!

711
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:14,636
Who?

712
00:50:14,790 --> 00:50:15,632
Fuck!

713
00:50:15,790 --> 00:50:16,757
Which one?

714
00:50:16,910 --> 00:50:18,355
What do we do?

715
00:50:18,510 --> 00:50:19,921
I told you. Aim for the target.

716
00:50:20,070 --> 00:50:21,356
Come in under the radar.

717
00:50:21,510 --> 00:50:23,478
And I hope not to be scraping one of you up.

718
00:50:23,830 --> 00:50:26,800
But if I do have to, and you're inside the target...

719
00:50:27,310 --> 00:50:28,994
please know I'll be very impressed.

720
00:50:29,190 --> 00:50:30,601
- Fuck! -Oh, shit!

721
00:50:34,470 --> 00:50:36,154
Everybody listen, I've got a plan!

722
00:50:37,870 --> 00:50:40,840
Pair off! Grab the closest person to them.

723
00:50:43,470 --> 00:50:44,676
Rufus, come on!

724
00:50:44,870 --> 00:50:45,792
Fuck!

725
00:50:46,670 --> 00:50:47,512
Rufus!

726
00:50:47,990 --> 00:50:49,151
Shit! I can't!

727
00:50:52,990 --> 00:50:53,673
Fuck!

728
00:50:55,030 --> 00:50:56,156
Thank God!

729
00:50:56,310 --> 00:50:58,153
Rufus, you wanker!

730
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,801
Shit, we're an odd number now!

731
00:51:01,870 --> 00:51:02,951
Quick, make a circle!

732
00:51:03,110 --> 00:51:04,839
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.

733
00:51:09,550 --> 00:51:11,632
We pull our cords one by one!

734
00:51:11,790 --> 00:51:13,030
When we know who's fucked...

735
00:51:13,190 --> 00:51:14,521
the person on their right grabs them.

736
00:51:16,310 --> 00:51:17,550
Okay, Eggs)'-

737
00:51:18,030 --> 00:51:19,031
Good plan, Eggs)'-

738
00:51:19,190 --> 00:51:21,352
You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry.

739
00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:22,511
Me first!

740
00:51:25,030 --> 00:51:25,872
Fuck!

741
00:51:26,030 --> 00:51:27,361
Yes!

742
00:51:29,390 --> 00:51:31,836
Okay, me next.

743
00:51:33,830 --> 00:51:35,355
See you on the ground, boys.

744
00:51:39,190 --> 00:51:40,191
Now me.

745
00:51:44,070 --> 00:51:44,912
Fuck!

746
00:51:49,550 --> 00:51:50,358
RoXY—

747
00:51:50,510 --> 00:51:52,194
no matter what happens now, I've got you, all right?

748
00:51:56,070 --> 00:51:57,356
Okay, Eggs)'-

749
00:51:57,510 --> 00:51:58,671
- Yours first, okay? -Yep.

750
00:52:11,870 --> 00:52:12,757
Shit!

751
00:52:20,550 --> 00:52:21,790
Shit!

752
00:52:23,910 --> 00:52:24,593
Shit!

753
00:52:26,590 --> 00:52:27,273
Rox!

754
00:52:31,030 --> 00:52:32,156
Fuck.

755
00:52:48,470 --> 00:52:50,677
Hugo, DEW-

756
00:52:50,830 --> 00:52:53,640
You don't land in the K, you're not in the K.

757
00:52:53,790 --> 00:52:56,111
Rufus, you opened too soon.

758
00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:57,635
You were all over the radar.

759
00:52:57,790 --> 00:52:59,633
All three of you, pack your bags, go home.

760
00:53:01,750 --> 00:53:03,957
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.

761
00:53:04,270 --> 00:53:05,920
You set a new record.

762
00:53:06,070 --> 00:53:07,310
Opening at 300 feet...

763
00:53:07,470 --> 00:53:08,517
that's pretty ballsy.

764
00:53:08,670 --> 00:53:11,196
Well done for completing another task. Fall out.

765
00:53:12,310 --> 00:53:13,311
Sorry, sir.

766
00:53:13,470 --> 00:53:15,154
But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp?

767
00:53:15,310 --> 00:53:16,516
Am I the expendable candidate?

768
00:53:16,670 --> 00:53:19,276
No,no, no. You don't talk to me like that.

769
00:53:19,430 --> 00:53:21,637
You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear.

770
00:53:28,470 --> 00:53:31,201
You need to take that chip off your shoulder.

771
00:54:02,190 --> 00:54:04,670
Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you.

772
00:54:05,310 --> 00:54:08,041
I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up.

773
00:54:08,190 --> 00:54:11,080
No,no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you.

774
00:54:11,390 --> 00:54:13,199
Anybody willing to donate that much...

775
00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:15,512
deserves their own dinner. Come in!

776
00:54:17,150 --> 00:54:18,151
Thank you.

777
00:54:20,030 --> 00:54:22,556
Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you.

778
00:54:22,710 --> 00:54:24,553
There aren't many billionaires I don't know.

779
00:54:24,710 --> 00:54:25,711
I don't doubt it.

780
00:54:25,870 --> 00:54:28,874
And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs...

781
00:54:29,030 --> 00:54:30,759
and that's some pretty old money you're from.

782
00:54:30,910 --> 00:54:31,752
How'd your folks make it?

783
00:54:32,390 --> 00:54:35,394
Property, mostly. Property and the markets.

784
00:54:35,550 --> 00:54:37,598
Nothing questionable, if that's your concern.

785
00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:40,515
Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are.

786
00:54:40,670 --> 00:54:41,512
I'm sure you understand that.

787
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:43,117
I most certainly do.

788
00:54:43,270 --> 00:54:44,760
- Hope you're hungry. -I'm famished.

789
00:54:44,950 --> 00:54:45,997
Good.

790
00:54:46,070 --> 00:54:47,071
Grab a seat.

791
00:55:08,830 --> 00:55:09,911
I'll have the Big Mac, please.

792
00:55:10,070 --> 00:55:11,276
Great choice.

793
00:55:11,430 --> 00:55:14,832
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce.

794
00:55:14,990 --> 00:55:16,799
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.

795
00:55:16,950 --> 00:55:17,951
A classic pairing.

796
00:55:18,390 --> 00:55:21,394
And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Chéteau d'Yquem for pudding?

797
00:55:22,230 --> 00:55:23,595
I like it.

798
00:55:24,190 --> 00:55:27,990
So, you want to donate to my foundation.

799
00:55:28,150 --> 00:55:31,472
You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right?

800
00:55:31,630 --> 00:55:34,554
Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.

801
00:55:34,750 --> 00:55:37,879
And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns.

802
00:55:38,030 --> 00:55:40,715
No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere.

803
00:55:40,870 --> 00:55:43,714
Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing.

804
00:55:43,870 --> 00:55:45,235
That carbon emissions are a red herring...

805
00:55:45,390 --> 00:55:49,076
and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take?

806
00:55:49,470 --> 00:55:51,074
You know your shit.

807
00:55:51,230 --> 00:55:54,837
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their...

808
00:55:55,390 --> 00:55:56,596
"shit."

809
00:55:57,630 --> 00:55:59,200
As Professor Arnold always said...

810
00:55:59,750 --> 00:56:02,196
"Humankind is the only virus cursed to live...

811
00:56:02,350 --> 00:56:05,593
"with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality."

812
00:56:06,830 --> 00:56:09,401
You know, not a lot of people knew about him.

813
00:56:12,110 --> 00:56:14,477
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?

814
00:56:18,150 --> 00:56:21,199
Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste.

815
00:56:21,350 --> 00:56:22,317
But the old ones...

816
00:56:23,110 --> 00:56:24,350
Marvelous.

817
00:56:24,550 --> 00:56:26,791
Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day.

818
00:56:26,950 --> 00:56:30,477
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!

819
00:56:30,630 --> 00:56:34,157
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.

820
00:56:34,950 --> 00:56:36,554
Gentleman spy.

821
00:56:36,910 --> 00:56:40,278
I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain.

822
00:56:40,630 --> 00:56:44,760
As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac.

823
00:56:46,630 --> 00:56:49,952
What a shame we both had to grow up.

824
00:56:54,550 --> 00:56:55,790
Bon appétit.

825
00:56:58,310 --> 00:57:01,280
Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal.

826
00:57:01,430 --> 00:57:03,034
I'll have my people get in touch with yours...

827
00:57:03,190 --> 00:57:04,715
and it's all good.

828
00:57:04,870 --> 00:57:08,397
And thank you for such a happy meal.

829
00:57:13,750 --> 00:57:15,115
Well, want me to follow him?

830
00:57:15,310 --> 00:57:16,436
Nah.

831
00:57:16,710 --> 00:57:19,156
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.

832
00:57:19,350 --> 00:57:22,354
We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours.

833
00:57:22,510 --> 00:57:25,081
Finally find out who he works for.

834
00:57:26,630 --> 00:57:28,598
Valentine didn't let me out of his sight.

835
00:57:28,750 --> 00:57:31,276
All I got was this on the way in.

836
00:57:35,390 --> 00:57:38,473
South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky.

837
00:57:39,350 --> 00:57:40,954
FBI have been monitoring them for years.

838
00:57:41,110 --> 00:57:42,919
But you think Valentine is a supporter?

839
00:57:43,070 --> 00:57:46,358
No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking.

840
00:57:47,230 --> 00:57:48,641
By the way...

841
00:57:48,790 --> 00:57:53,830
our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty.

842
00:57:54,230 --> 00:57:56,961
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.

843
00:57:59,030 --> 00:58:01,874
Just let me out, you psycho!

844
00:58:02,030 --> 00:58:04,874
I told you, you're free to go any time you want.

845
00:58:05,030 --> 00:58:07,317
As long as you agree to my conditions.

846
00:58:07,710 --> 00:58:09,360
I don't agree...

847
00:58:09,510 --> 00:58:12,241
and I am never ever going to agree!

848
00:58:12,390 --> 00:58:13,630
Tough shit.

849
00:58:14,070 --> 00:58:15,071
Bitch.

850
00:58:17,230 --> 00:58:18,994
I want to speak to the British Council!

851
00:58:19,590 --> 00:58:24,039
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries has continued to grow in recent weeks...

852
00:58:24,190 --> 00:58:28,081
and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers.

853
00:58:28,230 --> 00:58:31,996
We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde.

854
00:58:32,150 --> 00:58:35,313
You know, governments and security forces worldwide...

855
00:58:35,510 --> 00:58:39,196
are working together to find the person behind these abductions.

856
00:58:39,390 --> 00:58:41,040
In other news, people all over the world...

857
00:58:41,190 --> 00:58:45,593
continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards.

858
00:58:45,750 --> 00:58:48,230
Mrs. P, did you get one?

859
00:58:48,390 --> 00:58:50,961
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.

860
00:58:51,150 --> 00:58:55,394
This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...

861
00:58:55,550 --> 00:58:58,394
has already seen over a billion cards distributed.

862
00:58:58,550 --> 00:58:59,790
At ease.

863
00:59:01,950 --> 00:59:04,351
So you thought we were done for the day, huh?

864
00:59:05,150 --> 00:59:06,356
Well, we're not.

865
00:59:07,990 --> 00:59:09,992
- A party? -Tonight, in London.

866
00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:14,071
- Who's this? -Your target.

867
00:59:14,230 --> 00:59:16,198
Your mission is to use your NLP training...

868
00:59:16,350 --> 00:59:18,751
to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope.

869
00:59:18,910 --> 00:59:20,435
And when I say "win over"...

870
00:59:20,750 --> 00:59:22,400
I do mean in the biblical sense.

871
00:59:22,550 --> 00:59:23,711
Easy.

872
00:59:24,630 --> 00:59:26,678
Posh girls love a bit of rough.

873
00:59:26,830 --> 00:59:28,480
We'll see about that, yeah?

874
00:59:28,750 --> 00:59:30,559
We certainly will.

875
00:59:35,750 --> 00:59:36,717
Hi!

876
00:59:36,910 --> 00:59:40,198
Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes.

877
00:59:40,550 --> 00:59:41,790
Are you wearing color contacts?

878
00:59:41,950 --> 00:59:44,157
- No! -You so are.

879
00:59:44,310 --> 00:59:46,711
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.

880
00:59:46,870 --> 00:59:48,759
I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties.

881
00:59:48,910 --> 00:59:50,036
Excuse me?

882
00:59:50,190 --> 00:59:51,077
"Negginél"

883
00:59:51,230 --> 00:59:55,201
Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value.

884
00:59:55,350 --> 00:59:57,432
It's supposed to make you want to win his approval.

885
00:59:57,990 --> 01:00:01,039
Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique.

886
01:00:01,190 --> 01:00:03,352
Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny?

887
01:00:03,510 --> 01:00:05,399
- It's an acquired taste, mate. -I think it's just cheap.

888
01:00:05,550 --> 01:00:07,393
Get one of these instead. They're delicious.

889
01:00:07,550 --> 01:00:10,281
If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook.

890
01:00:10,430 --> 01:00:13,195
See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener.

891
01:00:13,350 --> 01:00:14,840
He got you talking with a neutral question...

892
01:00:15,030 --> 01:00:16,714
got all of us involved in the conversation...

893
01:00:16,870 --> 01:00:18,554
so that you craved individual attention.

894
01:00:19,270 --> 01:00:20,601
No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank.

895
01:00:20,750 --> 01:00:22,514
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.

896
01:00:22,670 --> 01:00:24,001
Phone call for you at reception.

897
01:00:24,150 --> 01:00:25,879
- Be right back. -We'll see you in a bit, yeah?

898
01:00:26,030 --> 01:00:27,395
See you in a bit.

899
01:00:27,550 --> 01:00:29,393
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.

900
01:00:29,550 --> 01:00:31,075
- Are you all right? -No.

901
01:00:31,230 --> 01:00:32,277
Sorry to eavesdrop...

902
01:00:32,430 --> 01:00:35,991
but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home.

903
01:00:36,190 --> 01:00:37,760
Rohypnol.

904
01:00:39,910 --> 01:00:41,674
Or even something stronger.

905
01:00:59,230 --> 01:01:00,914
Who the fuck are you?

906
01:01:01,470 --> 01:01:02,915
Where am I?

907
01:01:05,310 --> 01:01:06,471
This knife...

908
01:01:06,630 --> 01:01:08,712
can save your life.

909
01:01:12,950 --> 01:01:13,951
Fuck!

910
01:01:14,350 --> 01:01:17,160
My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy.

911
01:01:17,310 --> 01:01:19,199
What the fuck is Kingsman?

912
01:01:19,350 --> 01:01:21,000
And who's Harry Hart?

913
01:01:21,150 --> 01:01:22,993
I don't know who the fuck that is!

914
01:01:23,150 --> 01:01:23,958
Shit!

915
01:01:24,110 --> 01:01:27,910
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!

916
01:01:28,550 --> 01:01:29,472
Fuck!

917
01:01:29,910 --> 01:01:32,481
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!

918
01:01:32,630 --> 01:01:33,677
Hey, Eggsv!

919
01:01:33,830 --> 01:01:35,195
Is Kingsman worth dying for?

920
01:01:37,390 --> 01:01:38,755
FUCK you!

921
01:01:53,070 --> 01:01:54,356
Congratulations.

922
01:01:54,510 --> 01:01:55,750
Bloody well done.

923
01:01:58,030 --> 01:01:59,634
How did the others do?

924
01:01:59,790 --> 01:02:01,599
Roxy passed with flying colors.

925
01:02:02,110 --> 01:02:04,397
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?

926
01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:07,235
Yeah, all right.

927
01:02:09,750 --> 01:02:11,798
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?

928
01:02:11,950 --> 01:02:13,315
No, it fucking isn't!

929
01:02:13,470 --> 01:02:15,313
Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please!

930
01:02:15,470 --> 01:02:16,756
Chester King is Arthur.

931
01:02:16,910 --> 01:02:19,151
Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman.

932
01:02:19,310 --> 01:02:20,835
- Get me out of here! -Thank you, Charlie.

933
01:02:21,030 --> 01:02:22,361
Much appreciated.

934
01:02:22,510 --> 01:02:24,911
Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal!

935
01:02:25,310 --> 01:02:27,597
Fuck!

936
01:02:34,590 --> 01:02:36,911
I had such high hopes for you.

937
01:02:37,110 --> 01:02:39,033
You're a bloody disgrace.

938
01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:40,191
Arthur, I'm sorry.

939
01:02:41,030 --> 01:02:42,361
At least untie me.

940
01:02:42,710 --> 01:02:44,041
Untie yourself.

941
01:02:45,710 --> 01:02:47,872
Arthur, please.

942
01:02:49,190 --> 01:02:51,761
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!

943
01:02:51,910 --> 01:02:54,436
Anyone? Hello?

944
01:02:54,590 --> 01:02:57,161
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.

945
01:02:57,430 --> 01:03:00,240
Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process.

946
01:03:00,390 --> 01:03:03,951
As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them.

947
01:03:04,550 --> 01:03:07,713
Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point.

948
01:03:08,470 --> 01:03:09,471
From now on...

949
01:03:09,950 --> 01:03:11,395
there are no safety nets, understood?

950
01:03:15,270 --> 01:03:16,157
Good. Dismissed.

951
01:03:20,110 --> 01:03:22,238
Charlie, time to go home.

952
01:03:22,390 --> 01:03:23,755
Fuck you.

953
01:03:24,150 --> 01:03:26,437
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!

954
01:03:28,590 --> 01:03:29,591
"To pee or not to pee?"

955
01:03:31,830 --> 01:03:32,672
That was the headline...

956
01:03:32,750 --> 01:03:35,435
the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris.

957
01:03:36,070 --> 01:03:37,754
"Germany, 1, England, 5."

958
01:03:37,910 --> 01:03:38,991
Missed that game.

959
01:03:39,190 --> 01:03:42,160
I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon.

960
01:03:47,630 --> 01:03:48,961
My first mission.

961
01:03:49,110 --> 01:03:50,600
Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher.

962
01:03:52,110 --> 01:03:53,441
Not everybody would thank you for that one.

963
01:03:53,870 --> 01:03:56,601
The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them.

964
01:03:57,270 --> 01:04:00,831
Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense.

965
01:04:01,110 --> 01:04:04,671
Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret.

966
01:04:05,110 --> 01:04:08,478
A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times.

967
01:04:08,630 --> 01:04:10,951
When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies.

968
01:04:11,110 --> 01:04:14,319
And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen.

969
01:04:14,630 --> 01:04:15,961
That's me fucked then.

970
01:04:16,950 --> 01:04:18,839
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.

971
01:04:18,990 --> 01:04:19,991
Nonsense.

972
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:22,670
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth.

973
01:04:23,630 --> 01:04:25,473
Being a gentleman is something one learns.

974
01:04:26,230 --> 01:04:28,073
Yeah, but how?

975
01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:30,230
All right, first lesson.

976
01:04:30,390 --> 01:04:31,835
You should've asked me before you took a seat.

977
01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:34,831
Second lesson...

978
01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,161
how to make a proper martini.

979
01:04:38,150 --> 01:04:40,232
Yes, Harry.

980
01:04:42,830 --> 01:04:45,879
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!

981
01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,876
You're the one who asked for a biometric security system.

982
01:04:49,030 --> 01:04:50,156
What's wrong with a simple switch?

983
01:04:50,310 --> 01:04:51,311
A simple switch?

984
01:04:51,510 --> 01:04:55,151
This is an extremely dangerous machine.

985
01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:59,878
It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me.

986
01:05:00,070 --> 01:05:02,357
Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands.

987
01:05:05,550 --> 01:05:07,234
We done here? Shit!

988
01:05:07,390 --> 01:05:10,041
No. Now this one.

989
01:05:10,190 --> 01:05:11,237
For the test at the church.

990
01:05:11,390 --> 01:05:13,233
This one just has a short range.

991
01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:14,960
A simple switch will do.

992
01:05:20,910 --> 01:05:23,800
So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?

993
01:05:23,950 --> 01:05:25,395
Don't be absurd.

994
01:05:25,710 --> 01:05:28,236
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent.

995
01:05:28,390 --> 01:05:30,711
It's about being at ease in one's own skin.

996
01:05:30,870 --> 01:05:32,440
As Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble...

997
01:05:32,590 --> 01:05:34,957
"in being superior to your fellow man.

998
01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:38,872
"True nobility is being superior to your former self."

999
01:05:42,590 --> 01:05:45,912
Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit.

1000
01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:49,398
By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg.

1001
01:05:49,550 --> 01:05:51,951
And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof.

1002
01:05:52,110 --> 01:05:54,920
So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not...

1003
01:05:55,070 --> 01:05:59,439
you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman.

1004
01:05:59,590 --> 01:06:03,231
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting.

1005
01:06:03,390 --> 01:06:05,597
Fitting Room Two is available.

1006
01:06:05,750 --> 01:06:09,755
One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry.

1007
01:06:10,830 --> 01:06:13,640
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait.

1008
01:06:23,990 --> 01:06:25,276
So we going up or down?

1009
01:06:25,430 --> 01:06:26,591
Neither.

1010
01:06:27,830 --> 01:06:28,831
Is this it?

1011
01:06:29,030 --> 01:06:32,113
Of course not. Pull the hook on your left.

1012
01:06:39,350 --> 01:06:40,112
Oh, yes.

1013
01:06:40,590 --> 01:06:42,797
Very, very nice.

1014
01:06:45,830 --> 01:06:48,310
You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit.

1015
01:06:48,470 --> 01:06:52,634
An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing.

1016
01:06:52,790 --> 01:06:55,999
This additional decorative piece is called broguing.

1017
01:06:56,150 --> 01:06:57,356
"Oxfords not brogues."

1018
01:06:57,510 --> 01:06:59,114
Words to live by, Eggsy.

1019
01:06:59,350 --> 01:07:01,956
Words to live by. Try a pair.

1020
01:07:02,710 --> 01:07:04,474
Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way.

1021
01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:08,873
These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol.

1022
01:07:09,070 --> 01:07:10,674
It's quite unique, as you'll see.

1023
01:07:10,830 --> 01:07:14,198
It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations.

1024
01:07:14,350 --> 01:07:15,795
- How do they feel? -Yeah, good.

1025
01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,321
Now do your very best impersonation...

1026
01:07:17,470 --> 01:07:19,154
of a German aristocrat's formal greeting.

1027
01:07:22,670 --> 01:07:23,910
No, Eggsy

1028
01:07:28,030 --> 01:07:29,270
That is sick.

1029
01:07:30,310 --> 01:07:32,278
In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well.

1030
01:07:32,430 --> 01:07:33,511
How do I get it back in?

1031
01:07:33,670 --> 01:07:37,561
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man...

1032
01:07:37,710 --> 01:07:39,200
so very carefully.

1033
01:07:41,110 --> 01:07:44,831
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.

1034
01:07:44,990 --> 01:07:47,994
One of our finest examples of chemical engineering.

1035
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:50,670
A poison, harmless when ingested...

1036
01:07:50,830 --> 01:07:52,719
but at a time convenient to you...

1037
01:07:52,870 --> 01:07:56,875
can be remotely activated. Primed.

1038
01:07:58,350 --> 01:07:59,237
Lethal.

1039
01:08:00,550 --> 01:08:02,678
What about these? What do these do?

1040
01:08:03,070 --> 01:08:05,038
- Electrocute you? -Don't be ridiculous.

1041
01:08:05,190 --> 01:08:07,033
- It's a hand grenade. -Shut up!

1042
01:08:07,190 --> 01:08:09,477
If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring.

1043
01:08:09,670 --> 01:08:11,752
A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand.

1044
01:08:11,910 --> 01:08:14,880
But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant.

1045
01:08:15,030 --> 01:08:16,361
Touch the contact behind the ring...

1046
01:08:16,550 --> 01:08:17,676
it delivers 50,000 volts.

1047
01:08:19,590 --> 01:08:22,036
And what about them? What makes them so special?

1048
01:08:22,190 --> 01:08:23,191
Nothing.

1049
01:08:23,390 --> 01:08:26,075
That technology has caught up with the spy world.

1050
01:08:27,070 --> 01:08:28,879
Put it back, Eggsy.

1051
01:08:31,270 --> 01:08:32,715
Perfect timing.

1052
01:08:32,870 --> 01:08:34,759
The gentleman's just finished.

1053
01:08:39,910 --> 01:08:41,241
Mr. DeVere!

1054
01:08:42,710 --> 01:08:44,394
What a coincidence.

1055
01:08:45,030 --> 01:08:47,920
You are totally the reason I'm here.

1056
01:08:48,110 --> 01:08:49,236
When you left my house...

1057
01:08:49,390 --> 01:08:53,190
I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on.

1058
01:08:53,350 --> 01:08:54,875
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...

1059
01:08:55,030 --> 01:08:57,078
and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits...

1060
01:08:57,630 --> 01:08:58,791
here I am.

1061
01:08:59,350 --> 01:09:00,397
What are you doing here?

1062
01:09:00,630 --> 01:09:01,961
What's up, man?

1063
01:09:02,110 --> 01:09:03,236
Richmond Valentine.

1064
01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:06,594
This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor.

1065
01:09:06,750 --> 01:09:09,594
Another coincidence. So am I.

1066
01:09:09,950 --> 01:09:12,032
Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal?

1067
01:09:12,230 --> 01:09:13,231
Most definitely.

1068
01:09:13,430 --> 01:09:16,434
My people will be getting in touch with you very soon.

1069
01:09:16,590 --> 01:09:18,080
I guarantee it.

1070
01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:20,115
A word of advice.

1071
01:09:20,430 --> 01:09:22,637
Ascot requires top hat.

1072
01:09:23,630 --> 01:09:26,793
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.

1073
01:09:27,590 --> 01:09:28,637
Saint James's.

1074
01:09:28,830 --> 01:09:30,070
"Lox" as in smoked fish?

1075
01:09:30,390 --> 01:09:32,961
As in, "locked up."

1076
01:09:35,990 --> 01:09:38,914
I have trouble understanding you people sometimes.

1077
01:09:39,510 --> 01:09:41,592
You all talk so funny.

1078
01:09:48,590 --> 01:09:51,673
Gentlemen, would you look after him, please?

1079
01:10:04,190 --> 01:10:05,476
Now this...

1080
01:10:05,630 --> 01:10:07,519
is a dope-ass top hat.

1081
01:10:09,190 --> 01:10:12,478
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.

1082
01:10:13,990 --> 01:10:15,196
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.

1083
01:10:15,350 --> 01:10:18,194
Come on! Don't make me late for the queen.

1084
01:10:18,950 --> 01:10:21,635
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.

1085
01:10:21,790 --> 01:10:23,315
How far is Ascot?

1086
01:10:23,790 --> 01:10:24,837
How far?

1087
01:10:29,030 --> 01:10:30,361
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?

1088
01:10:30,830 --> 01:10:32,355
Sit down.

1089
01:10:37,550 --> 01:10:38,790
Pretty dog.

1090
01:10:39,230 --> 01:10:40,516
What's his name?

1091
01:10:40,670 --> 01:10:41,671
J.B.

1092
01:10:41,830 --> 01:10:44,037
- As in "James Bond"? -No.

1093
01:10:44,310 --> 01:10:45,800
"Jason Bourne"?

1094
01:10:45,990 --> 01:10:47,992
No. "Jack Bauer."

1095
01:10:48,310 --> 01:10:49,357
Oh!

1096
01:10:50,030 --> 01:10:51,031
Bravo.

1097
01:10:51,670 --> 01:10:52,831
It pains me to admit it...

1098
01:10:52,990 --> 01:10:55,880
but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy...

1099
01:10:56,030 --> 01:10:57,475
as any of them.

1100
01:11:04,550 --> 01:11:06,200
Take it.

1101
01:11:13,030 --> 01:11:14,270
Shoot the dog.

1102
01:11:21,070 --> 01:11:22,356
This weapon is live.

1103
01:11:25,550 --> 01:11:26,437
Shoot the dog.

1104
01:12:05,230 --> 01:12:06,277
Give me the gun.

1105
01:12:17,590 --> 01:12:19,319
At least the girl's got balls.

1106
01:12:22,950 --> 01:12:23,951
Get out.

1107
01:12:24,630 --> 01:12:26,632
I knew you couldn't make it.

1108
01:12:29,910 --> 01:12:31,241
Go home.

1109
01:12:32,750 --> 01:12:35,594
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.

1110
01:12:59,350 --> 01:13:02,354
Welcome to Kingsman...

1111
01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:04,436
Lancelot.

1112
01:13:27,790 --> 01:13:28,791
Mum!

1113
01:13:29,230 --> 01:13:30,356
E99Sy!

1114
01:13:30,550 --> 01:13:31,836
Oh, God. Where have you been?

1115
01:13:32,030 --> 01:13:34,032
I've been so worried about you.

1116
01:13:35,990 --> 01:13:39,233
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!

1117
01:13:45,030 --> 01:13:47,078
- Where is he? -I'm fine.

1118
01:13:47,230 --> 01:13:48,914
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.

1119
01:13:49,070 --> 01:13:50,754
I should never have left you on your own.

1120
01:13:50,910 --> 01:13:53,311
This stops right now.

1121
01:13:53,510 --> 01:13:54,591
I'll be right back.

1122
01:13:54,750 --> 01:13:56,354
Eggsy

1123
01:13:58,710 --> 01:14:00,041
Oi, Dean!

1124
01:14:01,030 --> 01:14:02,873
Mugsy, so you're back.

1125
01:14:03,030 --> 01:14:04,919
What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now?

1126
01:14:05,110 --> 01:14:06,521
Yeah.

1127
01:14:06,670 --> 01:14:08,718
Can I have a word about my mum's black eye?

1128
01:14:09,710 --> 01:14:11,439
You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab...

1129
01:14:11,590 --> 01:14:13,274
I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse.

1130
01:14:15,510 --> 01:14:17,512
Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out.

1131
01:14:19,790 --> 01:14:21,713
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.

1132
01:14:21,870 --> 01:14:23,918
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.

1133
01:14:24,390 --> 01:14:26,757
Come on, then, you prick.

1134
01:14:26,910 --> 01:14:28,799
Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me?

1135
01:14:28,950 --> 01:14:29,758
What are you doing?

1136
01:14:29,910 --> 01:14:30,797
No,no, no!

1137
01:14:30,950 --> 01:14:31,758
Get out of the fucking car!

1138
01:14:31,910 --> 01:14:33,799
What are you doing? Where you going, you mug?

1139
01:14:33,950 --> 01:14:35,236
Go on, you got no bollocks!

1140
01:14:36,030 --> 01:14:38,032
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!

1141
01:14:38,190 --> 01:14:39,601
Come back when you've grown a pair!

1142
01:14:39,750 --> 01:14:40,637
Mugs!”

1143
01:15:03,510 --> 01:15:04,511
You throw away...

1144
01:15:04,710 --> 01:15:08,681
your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog.

1145
01:15:09,670 --> 01:15:11,991
And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car.

1146
01:15:12,230 --> 01:15:14,312
You shot a dog just to get a fucking job.

1147
01:15:14,750 --> 01:15:15,751
Yes, I did.

1148
01:15:18,750 --> 01:15:22,641
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit!

1149
01:15:24,230 --> 01:15:26,710
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?

1150
01:15:26,870 --> 01:15:28,110
You fucking freak.

1151
01:15:28,270 --> 01:15:29,635
No, I shot my dog...

1152
01:15:29,790 --> 01:15:31,474
and then I brought him home and continued to care for him...

1153
01:15:31,630 --> 01:15:34,076
for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis.

1154
01:15:34,790 --> 01:15:37,441
- What? -it was a blank, Eggsy.

1155
01:15:38,590 --> 01:15:40,274
It was a fucking blank.

1156
01:15:41,070 --> 01:15:42,435
Remember Amelia?

1157
01:15:42,590 --> 01:15:43,352
Yeah.

1158
01:15:43,510 --> 01:15:44,636
She didn't drown.

1159
01:15:44,830 --> 01:15:47,561
She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine.

1160
01:15:47,750 --> 01:15:48,956
Limits must be tested...

1161
01:15:49,110 --> 01:15:51,761
a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another.

1162
01:15:51,910 --> 01:15:54,880
Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his.

1163
01:15:55,030 --> 01:15:56,714
Or have you got him stuffed here and all?

1164
01:15:58,750 --> 01:16:01,833
Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him?

1165
01:16:07,630 --> 01:16:09,314
Harry, listen to this.

1166
01:16:09,470 --> 01:16:11,234
Valentine is at last saying something of note.

1167
01:16:11,630 --> 01:16:13,871
Do you know what I love about pen and paper?

1168
01:16:14,390 --> 01:16:16,870
Nobody can hack into this shit.

1169
01:16:17,310 --> 01:16:20,632
Our worldwide tour was a complete success.

1170
01:16:20,830 --> 01:16:23,276
We have total coverall.

1171
01:16:23,430 --> 01:16:26,240
Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out.

1172
01:16:26,390 --> 01:16:27,277
Bingo?

1173
01:16:27,430 --> 01:16:30,832
Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right?

1174
01:16:31,710 --> 01:16:33,474
Do I look like I play bingo?

1175
01:16:35,710 --> 01:16:36,757
Point is...

1176
01:16:37,390 --> 01:16:41,873
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go.

1177
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:44,556
South Glade Mission Church.

1178
01:16:45,470 --> 01:16:47,632
- Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do.

1179
01:16:47,790 --> 01:16:49,440
Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever—

1180
01:16:49,590 --> 01:16:50,591
You should be.

1181
01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:53,196
You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back.

1182
01:16:59,550 --> 01:17:01,279
And I say to you...

1183
01:17:01,430 --> 01:17:02,670
bear witness!

1184
01:17:02,870 --> 01:17:05,441
Watch the news. Watch the news.

1185
01:17:05,590 --> 01:17:06,921
AIDS!

1186
01:17:07,350 --> 01:17:08,192
Floods!

1187
01:17:08,350 --> 01:17:10,478
The blood of the innocent, spilled!

1188
01:17:10,670 --> 01:17:15,836
And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God.

1189
01:17:17,670 --> 01:17:24,360
Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion!

1190
01:17:24,510 --> 01:17:27,036
And yet, some still doubt...

1191
01:17:27,190 --> 01:17:31,081
this is the work of the antichrist!

1192
01:17:31,270 --> 01:17:36,151
You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore...

1193
01:17:36,310 --> 01:17:39,075
or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter...

1194
01:17:39,390 --> 01:17:40,835
Charming sermon.

1195
01:17:41,030 --> 01:17:42,680
Can you see Valentine anywhere?

1196
01:17:42,870 --> 01:17:44,281
So, my friends...

1197
01:17:44,430 --> 01:17:47,479
although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one...

1198
01:17:47,630 --> 01:17:50,600
and there can be no turning back...

1199
01:17:50,790 --> 01:17:52,394
from the almighty wrath...

1200
01:17:52,550 --> 01:17:54,040
Are you sure we're out of range?

1201
01:17:54,270 --> 01:17:55,840
We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong?

1202
01:17:55,990 --> 01:17:57,230
What if the calculations are wrong?

1203
01:17:57,390 --> 01:17:58,994
You just have to trust me.

1204
01:18:00,190 --> 01:18:04,673
Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them...

1205
01:18:04,830 --> 01:18:06,116
for all eternity.

1206
01:18:06,310 --> 01:18:07,471
Would you excuse me?

1207
01:18:08,470 --> 01:18:09,312
Where are you going?

1208
01:18:10,110 --> 01:18:11,919
Hey! What's your problem?

1209
01:18:13,510 --> 01:18:14,921
I'm a Catholic whore...

1210
01:18:15,110 --> 01:18:18,671
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend...

1211
01:18:18,830 --> 01:18:21,401
who works in a military abortion clinic.

1212
01:18:21,990 --> 01:18:23,321
So, hail Satan...

1213
01:18:23,630 --> 01:18:25,473
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.

1214
01:18:28,870 --> 01:18:30,281
Oh, shit. He's leaving.

1215
01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:32,034
I'm starting the test now.

1216
01:18:32,470 --> 01:18:34,552
Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards.

1217
01:18:37,350 --> 01:18:40,240
I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend!

1218
01:18:40,390 --> 01:18:41,471
Just leave this church!

1219
01:18:41,630 --> 01:18:43,997
You just leave this church like the infidel you are!

1220
01:18:46,550 --> 01:18:49,759
Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies.

1221
01:18:49,910 --> 01:18:53,437
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!

1222
01:18:53,590 --> 01:18:55,035
He will not save you!

1223
01:19:01,270 --> 01:19:02,271
Holy fuck!

1224
01:19:04,030 --> 01:19:06,192
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.

1225
01:19:48,390 --> 01:19:50,392
Jeez! Fuck.

1226
01:19:51,070 --> 01:19:53,198
Galahad, can you hear me?

1227
01:19:53,590 --> 01:19:54,432
Harry!

1228
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:57,357
Harry, what the heck is going on?

1229
01:19:58,510 --> 01:20:00,000
Could you turn the volume down, please?

1230
01:20:01,310 --> 01:20:03,278
I didn't expect it to be that effective.

1231
01:20:03,430 --> 01:20:04,591
What kind of response are we talking?

1232
01:20:05,470 --> 01:20:06,471
100 percent.

1233
01:20:07,590 --> 01:20:10,594
So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not.

1234
01:20:10,990 --> 01:20:13,152
And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman.

1235
01:20:13,790 --> 01:20:15,633
Not yet.

1236
01:21:10,590 --> 01:21:11,921
You need to see this.

1237
01:23:08,950 --> 01:23:10,793
What did you do to me?

1238
01:23:11,150 --> 01:23:12,754
I had no control.

1239
01:23:14,110 --> 01:23:15,555
I killed all those people.

1240
01:23:17,510 --> 01:23:18,716
I wanted to.

1241
01:23:18,910 --> 01:23:19,991
Clever, isn't it?

1242
01:23:20,150 --> 01:23:22,881
In simple terms, it's a neurological wave...

1243
01:23:23,030 --> 01:23:24,555
that triggers the centers of aggression...

1244
01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:26,434
and switches off inhibitors.

1245
01:23:26,990 --> 01:23:29,914
Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume.

1246
01:23:33,150 --> 01:23:35,039
Do you know what this is like?

1247
01:23:35,230 --> 01:23:38,518
It's like those old movies we both love.

1248
01:23:38,670 --> 01:23:41,753
Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan...

1249
01:23:41,910 --> 01:23:45,198
and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you...

1250
01:23:45,350 --> 01:23:47,956
and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape.

1251
01:23:49,030 --> 01:23:50,520
Sounds good to me.

1252
01:23:51,270 --> 01:23:53,398
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.

1253
01:23:57,030 --> 01:23:59,510
No!

1254
01:24:07,670 --> 01:24:09,354
Is he dead?

1255
01:24:09,510 --> 01:24:11,990
That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.

1256
01:24:12,190 --> 01:24:13,316
It feels good, right?

1257
01:24:13,790 --> 01:24:15,872
No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful.

1258
01:24:16,030 --> 01:24:18,317
What? You just killed how many people in that church?

1259
01:24:18,510 --> 01:24:19,477
This is one guy.

1260
01:24:19,630 --> 01:24:21,632
No, no, they killed each other.

1261
01:24:24,510 --> 01:24:26,433
Okay, send out the countdown clock.

1262
01:24:26,590 --> 01:24:29,275
This party starts tomorrow.

1263
01:25:03,910 --> 01:25:05,321
Arthur?

1264
01:25:07,430 --> 01:25:08,920
Are you there?

1265
01:25:09,230 --> 01:25:11,392
Sadly, I am.

1266
01:25:11,750 --> 01:25:15,232
Assemble the Kingsmen.

1267
01:25:18,990 --> 01:25:23,075
Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him?

1268
01:25:43,590 --> 01:25:45,957
I see a young man with potential...

1269
01:25:46,750 --> 01:25:49,435
who wants to do something good with his life.

1270
01:26:06,110 --> 01:26:08,431
Arthur, Harry's dead.

1271
01:26:09,110 --> 01:26:11,511
Galahad is dead.

1272
01:26:11,710 --> 01:26:14,111
Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him.

1273
01:26:14,790 --> 01:26:17,316
Well, then you know what that psycho's doing.

1274
01:26:17,470 --> 01:26:20,121
How many people around the world have got those SIM cards?

1275
01:26:20,270 --> 01:26:22,671
Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them.

1276
01:26:22,830 --> 01:26:24,878
If they all go homicidal at the same time then—

1277
01:26:25,030 --> 01:26:27,351
Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings...

1278
01:26:27,510 --> 01:26:30,116
we have Valentine's confession.

1279
01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:33,678
The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities.

1280
01:26:33,830 --> 01:26:35,195
Our work is complete...

1281
01:26:35,350 --> 01:26:39,799
and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too.

1282
01:26:40,630 --> 01:26:41,791
And that's it?

1283
01:26:42,990 --> 01:26:44,151
Come sit down, boy.

1284
01:26:47,510 --> 01:26:52,516
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.

1285
01:26:53,550 --> 01:26:56,838
And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman.

1286
01:26:57,470 --> 01:27:00,519
Galahad was very fond of you.

1287
01:27:02,670 --> 01:27:05,071
And on this occasion...

1288
01:27:05,230 --> 01:27:08,598
I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little.

1289
01:27:10,990 --> 01:27:12,151
Are these all Kingsmen?

1290
01:27:12,350 --> 01:27:14,671
Yes, they're founder members.

1291
01:27:16,030 --> 01:27:18,112
I want you to join me in a toast.

1292
01:27:20,350 --> 01:27:22,352
To Galahad.

1293
01:27:23,350 --> 01:27:24,840
To Galahad.

1294
01:27:29,390 --> 01:27:32,041
Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur.

1295
01:27:32,510 --> 01:27:33,591
Why now?

1296
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,030
You're very good, Eggsy.

1297
01:27:35,190 --> 01:27:38,797
Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position.

1298
01:27:39,710 --> 01:27:42,395
Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye...

1299
01:27:42,590 --> 01:27:44,718
on certain political matters.

1300
01:27:47,550 --> 01:27:49,075
Can you guess...

1301
01:27:50,190 --> 01:27:51,794
what this is?

1302
01:27:51,950 --> 01:27:53,634
I don't have to. Harry showed me.

1303
01:27:53,790 --> 01:27:55,315
You click it. I die.

1304
01:27:55,470 --> 01:27:57,279
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.

1305
01:27:59,230 --> 01:27:59,879
Bravo.

1306
01:28:00,550 --> 01:28:03,713
Valentine won you over, somehow.

1307
01:28:03,870 --> 01:28:06,714
Once he explained, I understood.

1308
01:28:06,910 --> 01:28:08,150
When you get a virus...

1309
01:28:08,430 --> 01:28:09,636
you get a fever.

1310
01:28:09,790 --> 01:28:13,840
That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus.

1311
01:28:13,990 --> 01:28:16,231
Planet Earth works the same way.

1312
01:28:16,390 --> 01:28:18,313
Global warming is the fever.

1313
01:28:18,470 --> 01:28:21,280
Mankind is the virus.

1314
01:28:21,430 --> 01:28:23,831
We're making our planet sick.

1315
01:28:23,990 --> 01:28:26,596
A cull is our only hope.

1316
01:28:26,750 --> 01:28:28,991
If we don't reduce our population ourselves...

1317
01:28:29,150 --> 01:28:31,756
there is only one of two ways this can go.

1318
01:28:31,910 --> 01:28:36,154
The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host.

1319
01:28:36,470 --> 01:28:37,357
Either way...

1320
01:28:38,390 --> 01:28:39,960
The result is the same.

1321
01:28:40,150 --> 01:28:41,754
The virus dies.

1322
01:28:42,830 --> 01:28:46,277
So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself.

1323
01:28:46,430 --> 01:28:48,956
Well, if we don't do something, nature will.

1324
01:28:49,110 --> 01:28:53,434
Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives...

1325
01:28:54,150 --> 01:28:56,278
and history will see Valentine...

1326
01:28:56,430 --> 01:28:58,717
as the man who saved humanity from extinction.

1327
01:28:59,270 --> 01:29:02,638
And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he?

1328
01:29:02,790 --> 01:29:03,996
All his rich mates, they get to live...

1329
01:29:04,150 --> 01:29:06,676
and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe...

1330
01:29:06,830 --> 01:29:08,798
whether they agree with him or not.

1331
01:29:08,950 --> 01:29:11,112
And you, Eggsy

1332
01:29:11,670 --> 01:29:13,638
In Harry's honor...

1333
01:29:13,790 --> 01:29:18,478
I am inviting you to be part of a new world.

1334
01:29:20,550 --> 01:29:22,837
It's time to make your decision.

1335
01:29:29,710 --> 01:29:31,678
I'd rather be with Harry.

1336
01:29:32,310 --> 01:29:33,232
Thanks.

1337
01:29:33,990 --> 01:29:35,355
So be it.

1338
01:29:51,670 --> 01:29:54,913
The problem with us common types...

1339
01:29:55,070 --> 01:29:56,674
is that we're light-fingered.

1340
01:29:57,870 --> 01:29:59,599
Kingsman's taught me a lot...

1341
01:29:59,750 --> 01:30:00,990
but sleight of hand...

1342
01:30:01,670 --> 01:30:03,434
Yes, they're founder members.

1343
01:30:06,070 --> 01:30:07,356
I had that down already.

1344
01:30:09,670 --> 01:30:13,277
You dirty little fucking...

1345
01:30:13,430 --> 01:30:14,875
prick.

1346
01:30:49,150 --> 01:30:50,879
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.

1347
01:30:52,070 --> 01:30:53,595
It's verified.

1348
01:30:55,990 --> 01:30:58,561
Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety.

1349
01:30:58,710 --> 01:31:00,474
- We don't have a lot of time. -What are you going to do?

1350
01:31:00,630 --> 01:31:02,792
The question is, what are we going to do?

1351
01:31:02,950 --> 01:31:05,681
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not.

1352
01:31:06,310 --> 01:31:07,835
We have no choice.

1353
01:31:08,910 --> 01:31:10,992
We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves.

1354
01:31:14,430 --> 01:31:15,761
Follow me.

1355
01:31:34,630 --> 01:31:35,961
What the fuck is this?

1356
01:31:36,110 --> 01:31:37,953
I have no idea.

1357
01:31:38,950 --> 01:31:40,111
What you're playing with...

1358
01:31:40,270 --> 01:31:43,001
is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle.

1359
01:31:43,150 --> 01:31:45,437
It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project.

1360
01:31:45,590 --> 01:31:48,514
It's pretty basic, but it should still work.

1361
01:31:48,790 --> 01:31:51,157
We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites.

1362
01:31:51,550 --> 01:31:53,996
We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal.

1363
01:31:54,150 --> 01:31:55,834
It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it...

1364
01:31:56,510 --> 01:32:00,879
which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe...

1365
01:32:01,030 --> 01:32:02,839
so I can shut it down.

1366
01:32:02,990 --> 01:32:05,311
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.

1367
01:32:05,470 --> 01:32:06,835
Get into your halo suit.

1368
01:32:19,470 --> 01:32:21,234
Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land.

1369
01:32:27,230 --> 01:32:28,994
Permission granted.

1370
01:32:32,590 --> 01:32:35,070
- Please. -Thank you.

1371
01:32:35,230 --> 01:32:37,312
- How many more are we expecting? -Not many.

1372
01:32:37,510 --> 01:32:38,841
Most have their own bunkers.

1373
01:32:38,990 --> 01:32:42,358
I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones.

1374
01:32:42,590 --> 01:32:44,592
Welcome, Prime Minister.

1375
01:32:45,870 --> 01:32:48,840
It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal...

1376
01:32:48,990 --> 01:32:52,676
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards.

1377
01:32:52,830 --> 01:32:54,878
The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer.

1378
01:32:55,070 --> 01:32:57,596
Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone...

1379
01:32:57,750 --> 01:33:02,039
is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command.

1380
01:33:02,190 --> 01:33:06,354
Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning...

1381
01:33:06,510 --> 01:33:09,354
but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand.

1382
01:33:09,510 --> 01:33:11,239
How does this help us right now?

1383
01:33:12,190 --> 01:33:13,191
It doesn't.

1384
01:33:13,590 --> 01:33:14,955
Roxy, here we go!

1385
01:33:27,870 --> 01:33:31,477
The higher you go, the more the balloons expand.

1386
01:33:31,630 --> 01:33:33,473
When you reach the edge of the atmosphere...

1387
01:33:33,630 --> 01:33:35,758
they'll explode.

1388
01:33:35,910 --> 01:33:37,912
You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay?

1389
01:33:38,110 --> 01:33:39,441
Edge of the atmosphere.

1390
01:33:39,590 --> 01:33:42,912
And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast.

1391
01:33:43,910 --> 01:33:45,150
Good luck.

1392
01:33:47,470 --> 01:33:49,472
- You can do this, okay? -Yeah.

1393
01:33:49,630 --> 01:33:52,440
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.

1394
01:34:14,910 --> 01:34:16,912
You're getting in on Arthur's invitation.

1395
01:34:17,110 --> 01:34:18,316
You're gonna need to blend in.

1396
01:34:18,470 --> 01:34:19,596
I'm supposed to be Arthur?

1397
01:34:19,750 --> 01:34:22,754
His invitation is in his phone. You give them this.

1398
01:34:22,950 --> 01:34:25,430
- Give his real name, Chester King. -What about you?

1399
01:34:25,590 --> 01:34:27,035
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.

1400
01:34:28,110 --> 01:34:29,191
Is that gonna fit me?

1401
01:34:29,350 --> 01:34:31,876
A bespoke suit always fits.

1402
01:34:32,030 --> 01:34:33,839
Just be grateful Harry had it made for you.

1403
01:34:34,790 --> 01:34:35,791
Get dressed.

1404
01:34:37,230 --> 01:34:38,277
What the fuck's wrong with them?

1405
01:34:38,630 --> 01:34:41,361
I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide.

1406
01:34:41,550 --> 01:34:43,473
Give me the mic.

1407
01:34:45,270 --> 01:34:46,840
Hey-oh!

1408
01:34:46,990 --> 01:34:49,914
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!

1409
01:34:50,070 --> 01:34:52,311
What the fuck is wrong with you people?

1410
01:34:52,470 --> 01:34:55,314
I just wanna remind you that today...

1411
01:34:55,470 --> 01:34:58,076
is a day of celebration.

1412
01:34:58,870 --> 01:35:02,397
We must put aside all thoughts of death...

1413
01:35:02,550 --> 01:35:04,439
and focus on birth.

1414
01:35:05,510 --> 01:35:07,956
The birth of a new age.

1415
01:35:09,150 --> 01:35:14,111
We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today.

1416
01:35:14,270 --> 01:35:16,238
We should honor their sacrifice...

1417
01:35:16,390 --> 01:35:18,392
Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone.

1418
01:35:18,590 --> 01:35:21,753
and their roles in saving the human race.

1419
01:35:24,150 --> 01:35:27,836
We must put aside doubt and guilt.

1420
01:35:29,230 --> 01:35:32,791
You are the chosen people.

1421
01:35:34,430 --> 01:35:37,877
When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark...

1422
01:35:38,030 --> 01:35:38,997
is Noah the bad guy?

1423
01:35:39,190 --> 01:35:39,839
No!

1424
01:35:39,990 --> 01:35:42,038
Is God the bad guy?

1425
01:35:42,190 --> 01:35:42,839
No!

1426
01:35:43,030 --> 01:35:45,431
How about the animals marching two by two?

1427
01:35:45,590 --> 01:35:46,398
No!

1428
01:35:46,550 --> 01:35:47,358
Of course not!

1429
01:35:48,470 --> 01:35:49,835
Yeah, that's it!

1430
01:35:49,990 --> 01:35:53,790
Let's turn those frowns upside down.

1431
01:35:53,950 --> 01:35:55,793
Eat, drink...

1432
01:35:55,950 --> 01:35:57,634
and Party!

1433
01:36:00,670 --> 01:36:03,196
And I will see you all in the new age.

1434
01:36:28,430 --> 01:36:30,558
Rox, it's me.

1435
01:36:31,070 --> 01:36:32,401
How's the view?

1436
01:36:35,230 --> 01:36:37,312
- Hideous - Mine's pretty sweet.

1437
01:36:37,470 --> 01:36:40,394
- They made you one of these suits yet? - No, not yet.

1438
01:36:40,590 --> 01:36:42,911
You've got something to look forward to then.

1439
01:36:43,070 --> 01:36:45,676
We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go.

1440
01:36:47,110 --> 01:36:48,441
Good luck.

1441
01:36:56,070 --> 01:36:57,071
Looking good, Eggsy.

1442
01:36:59,750 --> 01:37:02,481
Feeling good, Merlin.

1443
01:37:07,750 --> 01:37:09,354
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. ..

1444
01:37:09,510 --> 01:37:11,956
Requesting permission to land.

1445
01:37:14,950 --> 01:37:17,476
Permission is granted.

1446
01:37:21,150 --> 01:37:22,959
Fuck me.

1447
01:37:50,150 --> 01:37:52,596
599531, we're on.

1448
01:38:07,310 --> 01:38:08,311
Chester King.

1449
01:38:09,310 --> 01:38:11,278
Mr. King, welcome.

1450
01:38:11,670 --> 01:38:15,470
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy...

1451
01:38:15,630 --> 01:38:16,961
- but if you don't object... -Of course.

1452
01:38:17,110 --> 01:38:18,350
Thank you.

1453
01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,958
Do you have any luggage?

1454
01:38:21,950 --> 01:38:25,397
Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet.

1455
01:38:25,990 --> 01:38:28,470
- You cheeky— Understood?

1456
01:38:28,630 --> 01:38:29,870
Good.

1457
01:38:31,190 --> 01:38:32,794
Thank you.

1458
01:38:58,070 --> 01:39:02,712
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking.

1459
01:39:03,870 --> 01:39:06,601
And remember, try to blend in.

1460
01:39:06,750 --> 01:39:08,718
Would sir care for a drink?

1461
01:39:09,350 --> 01:39:10,556
Martini.

1462
01:39:10,710 --> 01:39:12,872
Gin, not vodka, obviously.

1463
01:39:13,070 --> 01:39:16,756
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth.

1464
01:39:17,390 --> 01:39:18,596
Thank you.

1465
01:39:21,390 --> 01:39:23,199
Merlin, are you clocking this?

1466
01:39:23,390 --> 01:39:25,438
Yes, I am. Stay focused.

1467
01:39:26,070 --> 01:39:28,232
Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go.

1468
01:39:28,950 --> 01:39:30,076
Yes, Merlin.

1469
01:39:31,590 --> 01:39:33,877
Eggsy, get me online now.

1470
01:39:34,790 --> 01:39:35,791
Yep, I'm on it.

1471
01:39:36,950 --> 01:39:39,078
Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit.

1472
01:39:39,430 --> 01:39:41,194
Those balloons won't last much longer.

1473
01:39:42,070 --> 01:39:44,038
Prepare to engage missile.

1474
01:39:59,430 --> 01:40:00,636
Society's dead.

1475
01:40:01,110 --> 01:40:02,953
Long live society.

1476
01:40:03,950 --> 01:40:05,281
Amen to that.

1477
01:40:06,750 --> 01:40:08,798
- I'm Morten Lindstrém. -Chester King.

1478
01:40:09,110 --> 01:40:10,441
How'd you get online? I couldn't.

1479
01:40:10,830 --> 01:40:13,800
It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorized connections only.

1480
01:40:17,990 --> 01:40:19,276
I've got a fix on the satellite.

1481
01:40:19,470 --> 01:40:20,596
Do you have the correct time?

1482
01:40:20,750 --> 01:40:21,956
I think I'm still in my last time zone.

1483
01:40:22,110 --> 01:40:23,521
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.

1484
01:40:37,590 --> 01:40:38,591
599531, I'm in.

1485
01:40:38,750 --> 01:40:39,876
Get your arse back to the plane, now.

1486
01:40:40,030 --> 01:40:41,600
- On my way. - Lancelot, good luck!

1487
01:40:41,750 --> 01:40:43,957
Firing in 3... 2...

1488
01:40:51,310 --> 01:40:52,311
Nice and slow.

1489
01:40:52,470 --> 01:40:53,676
Fuck are you doing here?

1490
01:40:53,830 --> 01:40:56,151
Well, my family were invited, obviously.

1491
01:40:56,310 --> 01:40:57,960
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.

1492
01:40:59,150 --> 01:41:01,039
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!

1493
01:41:01,190 --> 01:41:02,794
That other balloon is gonna blow!

1494
01:41:02,950 --> 01:41:05,999
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second!

1495
01:41:07,870 --> 01:41:10,794
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!

1496
01:41:11,470 --> 01:41:12,517
V-Glass, zoom.

1497
01:41:12,670 --> 01:41:14,718
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.

1498
01:41:18,830 --> 01:41:20,241
Son of a bitch.

1499
01:41:20,790 --> 01:41:21,916
Got it!

1500
01:41:32,030 --> 01:41:33,316
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!

1501
01:41:35,870 --> 01:41:36,917
I'm not taking any chances.

1502
01:41:37,070 --> 01:41:38,595
Okay, you send out the two-minute warning.

1503
01:41:38,750 --> 01:41:41,196
I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this.

1504
01:41:42,550 --> 01:41:44,154
Countdown initiated.

1505
01:41:53,870 --> 01:41:55,554
- You see him? -Right here.

1506
01:42:04,350 --> 01:42:05,590
Eggsy, take a left.

1507
01:42:06,390 --> 01:42:07,391
Two guards, up ahead.

1508
01:42:19,750 --> 01:42:21,036
Lancelot! Release now!

1509
01:42:32,070 --> 01:42:33,879
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.

1510
01:42:34,270 --> 01:42:35,271
There's two more.

1511
01:42:38,950 --> 01:42:41,078
All right, everybody on your feet!

1512
01:42:41,230 --> 01:42:42,436
Countdown to V-day!

1513
01:42:42,590 --> 01:42:44,115
Welcome in the new age!

1514
01:42:52,470 --> 01:42:53,551
Flat spin.

1515
01:43:08,750 --> 01:43:11,594
Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel!

1516
01:43:20,350 --> 01:43:21,351
Here we go!

1517
01:43:21,510 --> 01:43:22,159
10...

1518
01:43:23,150 --> 01:43:24,481
9...

1519
01:43:24,990 --> 01:43:25,673
8...

1520
01:43:26,630 --> 01:43:27,313
7...

1521
01:43:28,550 --> 01:43:29,392
6...

1522
01:43:30,230 --> 01:43:31,311
5...

1523
01:43:31,910 --> 01:43:32,638
4...

1524
01:43:34,150 --> 01:43:34,912
3...

1525
01:43:35,070 --> 01:43:35,832
2...

1526
01:43:36,830 --> 01:43:37,717
1!

1527
01:43:43,750 --> 01:43:45,593
Nice! Well done, both of you.

1528
01:43:46,310 --> 01:43:47,311
It's not working!

1529
01:43:47,510 --> 01:43:49,558
It's supposed to be working! What the fuck?

1530
01:43:56,350 --> 01:43:56,999
Yes!

1531
01:43:57,190 --> 01:43:58,521
Well done, Rox. Good girl.

1532
01:44:01,870 --> 01:44:04,396
We've lost one of our satellites.

1533
01:44:13,950 --> 01:44:17,716
Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that.

1534
01:44:23,270 --> 01:44:24,271
What's going on?

1535
01:44:25,470 --> 01:44:26,551
Is there a problem?

1536
01:44:27,710 --> 01:44:29,041
Come on. There's no need for guns.

1537
01:44:29,190 --> 01:44:30,715
I'm just a pilot.

1538
01:44:33,710 --> 01:44:34,757
Fuck. Merlin!

1539
01:44:37,550 --> 01:44:39,154
Get in here!

1540
01:44:43,390 --> 01:44:44,551
Come on!

1541
01:44:48,110 --> 01:44:49,441
Let's get the fuck out of here!

1542
01:44:49,590 --> 01:44:50,591
We can't.

1543
01:44:50,750 --> 01:44:52,240
I can't get into Valentine's machine.

1544
01:44:52,390 --> 01:44:53,994
He's got biometric security.

1545
01:44:55,470 --> 01:44:58,792
You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk.

1546
01:44:58,950 --> 01:45:00,475
Are you taking the fucking piss?

1547
01:45:00,670 --> 01:45:01,910
I'm afraid not.

1548
01:45:05,070 --> 01:45:06,071
Let's have that then.

1549
01:45:07,750 --> 01:45:09,081
This is mine.

1550
01:45:09,590 --> 01:45:11,513
I'll show you yours.

1551
01:45:28,830 --> 01:45:29,752
Good choice.

1552
01:45:32,470 --> 01:45:34,040
How long to re-link the satellite chain?

1553
01:45:34,190 --> 01:45:35,430
It'll take an hour, maybe two.

1554
01:45:35,590 --> 01:45:37,718
Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together.

1555
01:45:37,870 --> 01:45:39,201
But that's not yours.

1556
01:45:44,870 --> 01:45:46,634
V-Glass, call E-man.

1557
01:45:47,430 --> 01:45:48,795
E, it's V.

1558
01:45:48,950 --> 01:45:50,952
Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end.

1559
01:45:51,110 --> 01:45:52,111
I need to piggyback.

1560
01:45:52,270 --> 01:45:56,320
One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours.

1561
01:45:56,830 --> 01:45:58,320
You read my mind.

1562
01:45:58,950 --> 01:46:00,554
How long before you make that happen?

1563
01:46:03,630 --> 01:46:04,677
Go.

1564
01:46:08,830 --> 01:46:10,798
All right, we should be coming back online.

1565
01:46:13,710 --> 01:46:14,632
10 percent.

1566
01:46:17,830 --> 01:46:18,558
Shit!

1567
01:46:18,750 --> 01:46:20,514
Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite.

1568
01:46:20,710 --> 01:46:22,678
He's going to reconnect the chain.

1569
01:46:22,830 --> 01:46:24,241
It's going to take him no time at all.

1570
01:46:25,230 --> 01:46:26,311
It's at 20 percent.

1571
01:46:44,270 --> 01:46:47,513
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on!

1572
01:47:21,030 --> 01:47:22,441
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?

1573
01:47:22,630 --> 01:47:24,280
Not yet, but he will be soon.

1574
01:47:24,430 --> 01:47:26,159
Good.

1575
01:47:39,070 --> 01:47:40,071
Merlin, I'm fucked.

1576
01:47:53,270 --> 01:47:54,271
As am l.

1577
01:47:54,470 --> 01:47:56,791
They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options.

1578
01:47:57,230 --> 01:48:00,074
Rox, I need a favor.

1579
01:48:00,230 --> 01:48:01,311
Call my mum.

1580
01:48:01,470 --> 01:48:02,995
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.

1581
01:48:03,790 --> 01:48:04,677
And the baby...

1582
01:48:06,310 --> 01:48:07,311
and tell her I love her.

1583
01:48:16,270 --> 01:48:17,510
For fuck's sake.

1584
01:48:21,870 --> 01:48:25,033
Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us?

1585
01:48:26,830 --> 01:48:27,991
Any chance you can turn them on?

1586
01:48:31,710 --> 01:48:32,472
All right.

1587
01:48:32,670 --> 01:48:35,116
My turn to play, Valentine.

1588
01:48:43,630 --> 01:48:44,791
Oh, no!

1589
01:48:44,950 --> 01:48:47,396
What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this.

1590
01:49:00,790 --> 01:49:01,871
Yes, please.

1591
01:49:05,510 --> 01:49:06,716
No!

1592
01:50:03,470 --> 01:50:05,552
Oh, my God!

1593
01:50:05,710 --> 01:50:07,712
That is fucking spectacular!

1594
01:50:07,870 --> 01:50:10,635
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!

1595
01:50:10,790 --> 01:50:13,953
What the fuck is happening out there?

1596
01:50:18,270 --> 01:50:19,556
Aren't you that princess who went missing?

1597
01:50:19,710 --> 01:50:20,757
Can you get me out?

1598
01:50:21,390 --> 01:50:23,313
If I do, will you give me a kiss?

1599
01:50:23,470 --> 01:50:24,915
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.

1600
01:50:25,070 --> 01:50:27,072
If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss.

1601
01:50:29,310 --> 01:50:30,550
You motherfucker.

1602
01:50:30,750 --> 01:50:32,559
Did you really think I was stupid enough...

1603
01:50:32,750 --> 01:50:34,912
to implant one of those things in my own head?

1604
01:50:35,350 --> 01:50:36,920
What are you, fucking crazy?

1605
01:50:37,870 --> 01:50:40,157
All those innocent people killed and for what?

1606
01:50:41,030 --> 01:50:43,874
You didn't stop shit!

1607
01:50:45,230 --> 01:50:47,232
Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now?

1608
01:50:47,430 --> 01:50:50,274
As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key.

1609
01:50:51,030 --> 01:50:53,431
It's still happening!

1610
01:50:53,590 --> 01:50:54,751
You're fucking insane!

1611
01:50:54,910 --> 01:50:56,036
Just do it.

1612
01:51:23,350 --> 01:51:24,715
Eggsy, the signal's started!

1613
01:51:24,870 --> 01:51:28,033
Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now!

1614
01:51:28,190 --> 01:51:29,112
Sorry, love.

1615
01:51:29,550 --> 01:51:30,631
Got to save the world.

1616
01:51:31,910 --> 01:51:33,833
I'll be right back.

1617
01:51:35,270 --> 01:51:36,237
Good luck!

1618
01:51:43,030 --> 01:51:43,872
London.

1619
01:52:12,470 --> 01:52:13,437
Rio.

1620
01:52:29,470 --> 01:52:30,312
Get down!

1621
01:52:32,470 --> 01:52:33,312
You did it!

1622
01:52:42,910 --> 01:52:44,833
The glass is not gonna hold long.

1623
01:52:46,510 --> 01:52:48,114
You stay here.

1624
01:52:50,350 --> 01:52:51,511
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?

1625
01:52:51,830 --> 01:52:53,753
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route. -Understood.

1626
01:53:10,310 --> 01:53:11,391
Holy fuck!

1627
01:53:29,910 --> 01:53:31,196
We're back up.

1628
01:53:32,070 --> 01:53:33,401
We're back up!

1629
01:53:40,390 --> 01:53:42,119
This is great!

1630
01:53:50,230 --> 01:53:51,072
EQQSY!

1631
01:53:51,230 --> 01:53:52,755
Fucking get on with it!

1632
01:53:52,950 --> 01:53:54,156
Kick his ass, Gazy!

1633
01:54:00,790 --> 01:54:03,600
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!

1634
01:54:11,950 --> 01:54:14,430
Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends!

1635
01:54:31,790 --> 01:54:33,792
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!

1636
01:54:43,190 --> 01:54:45,272
- Is he dead yet? -Not yet!

1637
01:54:45,430 --> 01:54:47,558
Stop playing with your food!

1638
01:54:47,710 --> 01:54:48,711
Kill him!

1639
01:56:06,830 --> 01:56:08,195
Gazelle!

1640
01:56:10,030 --> 01:56:11,191
Gazelle!

1641
01:56:20,830 --> 01:56:22,559
Come on! Come on!

1642
01:56:25,550 --> 01:56:26,233
Kill him!

1643
01:56:43,870 --> 01:56:44,519
Hey!

1644
01:57:09,590 --> 01:57:11,115
Well done, son!

1645
01:57:12,430 --> 01:57:13,397
Yes!

1646
01:57:13,550 --> 01:57:14,711
Yes, Eggsy!

1647
01:57:14,870 --> 01:57:16,440
Well done, Eggsy!

1648
01:57:16,950 --> 01:57:18,111
And you, Lancelot.

1649
01:57:20,870 --> 01:57:23,441
I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you.

1650
01:57:24,070 --> 01:57:27,119
Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry.

1651
01:57:29,590 --> 01:57:30,637
Are you okay?

1652
01:57:34,390 --> 01:57:36,279
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.

1653
01:57:37,630 --> 01:57:38,711
He was right.

1654
01:57:54,150 --> 01:57:55,436
What's up, man?

1655
01:57:55,790 --> 01:57:59,158
Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?

1656
01:58:00,630 --> 01:58:02,632
Well, it's like you said to Harry.

1657
01:58:05,830 --> 01:58:08,151
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.

1658
01:58:09,630 --> 01:58:11,075
Perfect.

1659
01:58:31,950 --> 01:58:33,156
Eggsy, where are you going?

1660
01:58:33,310 --> 01:58:35,438
There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane.

1661
01:58:42,670 --> 01:58:43,751
Did you save the world?

1662
01:58:44,350 --> 01:58:45,840
Yes, I did.

1663
01:58:47,150 --> 01:58:49,960
So, you gonna come in?

1664
01:58:50,710 --> 01:58:52,200
Yes, I am.

1665
01:58:57,670 --> 01:58:59,559
Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in?

1666
01:59:01,830 --> 01:59:03,355
26-25.

1667
01:59:07,710 --> 01:59:10,316
Merlin, you're the guvnor.

1668
01:59:12,510 --> 01:59:14,877
You owe me, Eggsy.

1669
01:59:20,510 --> 01:59:21,557
Eggsy?

1670
01:59:27,550 --> 01:59:29,234
Oh, my word.

1671
02:00:16,430 --> 02:00:19,274
Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in.

1672
02:00:20,270 --> 02:00:21,795
I rather like that song.

1673
02:00:22,310 --> 02:00:23,914
Leave it on, eh, Mum?

1674
02:00:27,670 --> 02:00:29,593
Mugsy's back.

1675
02:00:29,710 --> 02:00:31,758
You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son?

1676
02:00:32,510 --> 02:00:33,796
Or are you gonna run away again...

1677
02:00:33,950 --> 02:00:35,554
and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that?

1678
02:00:35,990 --> 02:00:37,401
Oh, you mean this?

1679
02:00:38,910 --> 02:00:40,241
No.

1680
02:00:40,830 --> 02:00:44,152
I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row.

1681
02:00:45,230 --> 02:00:46,800
He's given me a job, Mum.

1682
02:00:47,510 --> 02:00:48,796
It comes with a lot of perks.

1683
02:00:50,190 --> 02:00:51,521
Including a house.

1684
02:00:52,670 --> 02:00:54,513
Come and live with me there, Mum.

1685
02:00:55,110 --> 02:00:56,191
Come on.

1686
02:00:56,350 --> 02:00:57,078
Sit down, you.

1687
02:00:58,470 --> 02:01:00,677
Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital.

1688
02:01:00,830 --> 02:01:02,639
- Do you hear? -Just leave him alone, Dean!

1689
02:01:02,790 --> 02:01:05,031
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.

1690
02:01:06,510 --> 02:01:07,796
All right.

1691
02:01:07,950 --> 02:01:09,520
That's it, do as Mummy says.

1692
02:01:09,670 --> 02:01:12,514
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume.

1693
02:01:12,670 --> 02:01:14,035
It'll suit you, you mug.

1694
02:01:16,310 --> 02:01:19,075
As a good friend once said...

1695
02:01:20,390 --> 02:01:21,516
"Manners...

1696
02:01:23,430 --> 02:01:24,397
"maketh...

1697
02:01:26,990 --> 02:01:27,991
"man."

1698
02:01:28,830 --> 02:01:31,197
- Dean? -Shut the fuck up.

1699
02:01:31,350 --> 02:01:33,796
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking—

1700
02:01:39,750 --> 02:01:40,637
So...

1701
02:01:40,990 --> 02:01:44,995
are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?