1
00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:04,691
I have no idea
how to tell this story.

2
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,461
I don't even know
how to start it.

3
00:01:08,463 --> 00:01:10,696
Like, I guess I could use
one of those classic

4
00:01:10,698 --> 00:01:13,465
story beginning sentences.

5
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:16,534
"It was the best of times;
it was the worst of times."

6
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:19,236
But what would that even mean?

7
00:01:19,238 --> 00:01:21,104
I mean, obviously,
somewhere in the world,

8
00:01:21,106 --> 00:01:23,406
it's the best of times
for someone.

9
00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:25,307
Like he's eating all this insane

10
00:01:25,309 --> 00:01:26,841
Vietnamese food
he just got for free...

11
00:01:26,843 --> 00:01:28,843
and the woman
who delivered the food

12
00:01:28,845 --> 00:01:31,212
looks exactly like the hot
girl from Pussy Riot

13
00:01:31,214 --> 00:01:33,380
and now she's situated
in the corner

14
00:01:33,382 --> 00:01:35,682
playing unspeakably beautiful
melodies on the harp.

15
00:01:35,684 --> 00:01:37,583
While he's just going to town
on that food.

16
00:01:37,585 --> 00:01:40,385
So, yeah,
that's the best of times.

17
00:01:40,387 --> 00:01:42,553
Meanwhile, some other guy
is having

18
00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:44,388
his will broken
by professional torturers...

19
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:47,724
over a crocodile-infested
pool of acid.

20
00:01:47,726 --> 00:01:49,392
And because it's acid,

21
00:01:49,394 --> 00:01:51,460
these crocodiles
are just pissed.

22
00:01:51,462 --> 00:01:53,628
And they're also piping in
that gross smell you get...

23
00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:55,262
when they spill
a bunch of milk

24
00:01:55,264 --> 00:01:56,429
in the school parking lot.

25
00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:58,297
And this beefy torture dude

26
00:01:58,299 --> 00:02:00,232
is just punching
the hell out of him.

27
00:02:00,234 --> 00:02:02,333
Check.

28
00:02:09,773 --> 00:02:13,342
All right, look.
I'll just start.

29
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:15,377
This is the story of
my senior year of high school

30
00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:17,278
and how it destroyed my life.

31
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,314
And how I made a film so bad,
it literally killed someone.

32
00:02:47,473 --> 00:02:49,707
I used to think about it
this way:

33
00:02:49,709 --> 00:02:52,810
Schenley High School
was a world unto itself.

34
00:02:52,812 --> 00:02:55,712
By senior year, I had mastered
the languages and customs

35
00:02:55,714 --> 00:02:56,994
of its various sovereign states.

36
00:02:57,614 --> 00:03:00,349
The head nods of Jock Nation.

37
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:02,751
The fist bumps
of the Kingdom of Stoners.

38
00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:04,586
The innocuous witticisms of

39
00:03:04,588 --> 00:03:05,787
The People's Republic
of Theater Dorks.

40
00:03:05,789 --> 00:03:08,189
Greg, how was your summer?

41
00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:10,257
Summer. What does that word
even mean?

42
00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:12,225
Like, more "summ"?

43
00:03:12,227 --> 00:03:13,392
In a typical high school life,

44
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,527
you belong to one nation...

45
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,896
which can never
guarantee you total security.

46
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,211
But I thought
I found a way out.

47
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,801
Get citizenship in every nation.

48
00:03:25,769 --> 00:03:28,203
Get passports to everywhere.

49
00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:30,505
Just be on low-key
good terms with everyone...

50
00:03:30,507 --> 00:03:32,707
casually interact with them
once in a while...

51
00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:34,875
in a way that is invisible
to everyone else.

52
00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,543
Never commit to an interaction

53
00:03:37,545 --> 00:03:39,311
that won't be casual or mellow.

54
00:03:39,912 --> 00:03:41,779
Your test was today?

55
00:03:41,781 --> 00:03:43,881
Ugh. Tests!
I've been there.

56
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:46,650
That's like sending troops
to Afghanistan.

57
00:03:46,652 --> 00:03:48,652
Maintain relationships
with citizens

58
00:03:48,654 --> 00:03:50,253
of the most
dicked-upon nations.

59
00:03:50,255 --> 00:03:52,722
For example, Scott Mayhew,

60
00:03:52,724 --> 00:03:54,757
the gothy dork
I'm sitting next to here.

61
00:03:54,759 --> 00:03:55,891
Scott, nice Berserker.

62
00:03:55,893 --> 00:03:57,726
Thank you?

63
00:03:57,728 --> 00:04:00,228
It took years of cultivation
to win his trust.

64
00:04:03,699 --> 00:04:05,832
Or the universally
ostracized Ill Phil.

65
00:04:09,337 --> 00:04:10,869
Truly a nation of one.

66
00:04:12,472 --> 00:04:16,440
And there were some
places I simply couldn't go.

67
00:04:16,442 --> 00:04:18,909
Like the cafeteria.

68
00:04:18,911 --> 00:04:21,711
Every last square inch of it
was disputed territory.

69
00:04:22,546 --> 00:04:24,480
It was Crimea, Kashmir,

70
00:04:24,482 --> 00:04:26,562
and the Gaza Strip
all rolled into one.

71
00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:30,985
Also the part of
the Indian Ocean with pirates.

72
00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:34,888
Captain Phillips pirates,
not Pirates of the Caribbean.

73
00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:37,523
Although, actually, who knows?
Maybe both.

74
00:04:44,295 --> 00:04:45,662
Instead, I always ate lunch
in the office

75
00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:46,963
of my history teacher.

76
00:04:46,965 --> 00:04:47,997
Mr. McCarthy.

77
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,967
I'm in 309 for
the next... 20 minutes.

78
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,870
The only reasonable adult
in all of Schenley.

79
00:04:56,872 --> 00:04:58,404
Heathens.

80
00:04:58,406 --> 00:05:00,339
Respect the research.

81
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,541
With Earl,
whose role in my life

82
00:05:02,543 --> 00:05:05,310
I'm not even gonna try to
explain to you right now.

83
00:05:05,312 --> 00:05:09,814
The harmony of overwhelming
and collective murder.

84
00:05:09,816 --> 00:05:11,916
Hot girls destroy your life.

85
00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:16,053
It doesn't matter if the hot
girl is also a good person.

86
00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:18,922
She's a moose,
you're a chipmunk.

87
00:05:18,924 --> 00:05:21,164
She's just wandering through
the forest, oblivious.

88
00:05:22,526 --> 00:05:24,807
And she doesn't even know that
she stomped on your head.

89
00:05:26,928 --> 00:05:28,561
Hey, Madison.

90
00:05:28,563 --> 00:05:30,663
Hey, how was your summer?

91
00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:33,298
Summer. What does that word
even mean, right?

92
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,933
More "summ."

93
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,602
Winter, same deal.
More "wint"?

94
00:05:39,503 --> 00:05:41,437
McCarthy's in 309.

95
00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:43,739
Great, thanks.

96
00:05:43,741 --> 00:05:45,674
To become humbled

97
00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,642
in front of
this overwhelming misery...

98
00:05:47,644 --> 00:05:50,711
and overwhelming
fornication

99
00:05:50,713 --> 00:05:52,446
and overwhelming lack of order.

100
00:05:52,448 --> 00:05:53,680
Titties.

101
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:57,983
Honey, can we come in?
Jesus, Jesus!

102
00:05:57,985 --> 00:06:00,385
Yeah. What do you want?

103
00:06:00,387 --> 00:06:01,986
First of all,
I was going through...

104
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,455
your stuff
and I saw that you

105
00:06:04,457 --> 00:06:06,056
have not even unwrapped
your college directory.

106
00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:07,757
Mom, don't go through my stuff.

107
00:06:07,759 --> 00:06:10,793
We discussed it, and she gets
to go through your stuff.

108
00:06:10,795 --> 00:06:12,461
Just have a look.
It's fun.

109
00:06:12,463 --> 00:06:13,762
It's like a menu
for your future.

110
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:16,598
What are you in the mood for?
Some Penn State?

111
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,367
Some Pepperdine?
Pomona? Princeton?

112
00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:20,568
I'm not getting into Princeton.

113
00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:22,210
He's not getting into Princeton.

114
00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:24,003
Um, so, is that it?

115
00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:25,971
No, honey, it's not it.

116
00:06:25,973 --> 00:06:28,893
Your father and I want to talk to you
about something kind of sad.

117
00:06:30,809 --> 00:06:31,809
What?

118
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,779
What happened?

119
00:06:37,781 --> 00:06:39,914
Well, I just got off the phone
with Denise Kushner,

120
00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:42,082
Rachel's mom. You know Denise?

121
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,917
Um, not really.

122
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,485
You're friends
with Rachel, though.

123
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:46,927
Yeah, I mean,
we're like, acquainted.

124
00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:48,453
Come here.

125
00:06:49,955 --> 00:06:50,955
Okay.

126
00:06:57,394 --> 00:06:59,962
Rachel's been diagnosed
with leukemia.

127
00:06:59,964 --> 00:07:01,496
They just found out.

128
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:04,531
Your test was today?

129
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:08,868
Ugh. Tests! I've been there.

130
00:07:10,904 --> 00:07:12,404
Oh, God.

131
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,707
Is that serious?

132
00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:17,941
They're doing
all kinds of tests.

133
00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:19,108
They're doing
everything they can.

134
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,676
They just don't know.

135
00:07:20,678 --> 00:07:22,577
Man, that sucks.

136
00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:23,711
You're right.

137
00:07:23,713 --> 00:07:25,846
It sucks.

138
00:07:25,848 --> 00:07:27,814
It sucks really bad.

139
00:07:27,816 --> 00:07:29,615
It sucks quite a bit.

140
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,916
Yeah.

141
00:07:36,988 --> 00:07:38,822
Dad, Cat Stevens is clawing me.

142
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:40,690
Well, he's deeply distraught.

143
00:07:41,825 --> 00:07:43,725
Well, you know,
I was talking to Denise...

144
00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:46,127
and Denise feels that
you might be someone...

145
00:07:46,129 --> 00:07:48,529
who could make
Rachel feel better.

146
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,031
Yeah, but like I said,

147
00:07:51,033 --> 00:07:52,032
we're not really friends, so...

148
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,767
Just give Rachel a call.

149
00:07:54,902 --> 00:07:56,569
Yeah, well, what do you
want me to say?

150
00:07:56,571 --> 00:07:57,870
"Hey, it's Greg, the guy who's

151
00:07:57,872 --> 00:07:59,272
"never really paid
attention to you...

152
00:07:59,274 --> 00:08:01,607
"... but now you have cancer,
so let's hang out"?

153
00:08:01,609 --> 00:08:02,841
That's not gonna work.

154
00:08:02,843 --> 00:08:04,008
She'll think
you're being sarcastic.

155
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,275
Are you telling me
you can't do

156
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,176
one nice thing
for another person?

157
00:08:07,178 --> 00:08:09,211
I mean, honestly, is that
really what's happening here?

158
00:08:09,213 --> 00:08:11,580
Fine. Okay.

159
00:08:11,582 --> 00:08:13,848
Just, please don't
go through my stuff.

160
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:16,183
Or I'll start going through
your stuff.

161
00:08:16,185 --> 00:08:18,852
I hope you like tampons.

162
00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:21,788
It's
Central Pittsburgh on 90.5...

163
00:08:24,858 --> 00:08:26,225
This is Rachel.

164
00:08:26,227 --> 00:08:27,960
Hey, it's Greg Gaines.

165
00:08:27,962 --> 00:08:28,962
Hi.

166
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:32,063
Yo!

167
00:08:32,065 --> 00:08:35,800
So, I called a doctor...

168
00:08:35,802 --> 00:08:38,169
he said you needed
a prescription of Greg-acil.

169
00:08:38,171 --> 00:08:39,411
What's that?

170
00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:41,011
Uh...

171
00:08:41,272 --> 00:08:42,739
It's me.

172
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,809
In convenient gel-tab form.

173
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,777
Oh.

174
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:50,811
Yeah.

175
00:08:52,748 --> 00:08:54,247
So, I guess
you heard I'm sick.

176
00:08:54,249 --> 00:08:55,715
Yeah.

177
00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:57,249
Did my mom tell you?

178
00:08:57,251 --> 00:08:59,851
Um, well, my mom told me.

179
00:08:59,853 --> 00:09:00,853
Oh.

180
00:09:01,787 --> 00:09:02,953
So, um...

181
00:09:03,621 --> 00:09:04,921
What?

182
00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:05,955
What?

183
00:09:06,723 --> 00:09:08,056
What were you gonna say?

184
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:09,790
Um...

185
00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:12,125
Greg, what?

186
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:14,560
Uh, yeah,
I was just calling to see

187
00:09:14,562 --> 00:09:16,094
if you wanted to hang out.

188
00:09:16,695 --> 00:09:17,828
Right now?

189
00:09:18,262 --> 00:09:19,929
Um, sure.

190
00:09:20,764 --> 00:09:21,897
No, thanks.

191
00:09:22,565 --> 00:09:24,132
Oh.

192
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:26,134
Okay, so you don't
wanna hang out?

193
00:09:26,136 --> 00:09:27,835
No. Thanks anyways.

194
00:09:28,837 --> 00:09:30,938
Okay. Um, bye.

195
00:09:31,306 --> 00:09:32,306
Bye.

196
00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:36,108
Mom, what are you doing?

197
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:37,976
Okay, Mom, listen,
she doesn't want to see me.

198
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,610
I'm sorry to be the one
to tell you, Gregory...

199
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:40,577
that you do not
have a choice

200
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,011
in this particular matter.

201
00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:43,278
Mom, please, let me say
one thing for one second.

202
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,812
You have been
given an opportunity

203
00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:46,914
to make a very real difference
in someone's life.

204
00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:48,315
And if what you're
choosing instead

205
00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:49,349
is to lie around the house
all day...

206
00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:51,984
She doesn't want to see me!

207
00:09:51,986 --> 00:09:53,685
I will be required
to step in...

208
00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:55,787
We're not even friends!

209
00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:58,055
and inform you that
that is 100% unacceptable.

210
00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,690
Your nonstop stream of
words is making me freak out!

211
00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:02,024
And if you think that all
these excuses you're making

212
00:10:02,026 --> 00:10:03,725
are in any way better...

213
00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:05,860
or more important,
than the happiness

214
00:10:05,862 --> 00:10:07,228
of a girl with cancer...

215
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:08,862
Mom! I am now entering
a subhuman state.

216
00:10:08,864 --> 00:10:10,163
a friend with cancer,

217
00:10:10,165 --> 00:10:12,031
you are sadly mistaken,
my friend.

218
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:15,834
You are going to pick up
that phone.

219
00:10:15,836 --> 00:10:18,303
You're going to
call Rachel again.

220
00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:20,225
You are going to.
You are going to.

221
00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,266
Oh, Greg.

222
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,169
Oh, Mrs. Kushner.

223
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,103
Denise, Greg.

224
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,071
To you, I'm Denise, okay?

225
00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:01,239
Oh, okay. Good.

226
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,908
You're a real good kid,
you know that?

227
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:06,043
You really are.
You just have a big heart.

228
00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:09,012
You're kind, nice.

229
00:11:11,181 --> 00:11:12,981
I really appreciate it.

230
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,356
Thank you.

231
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:20,072
Good, good, good, good, good...

232
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:22,954
good boy.

233
00:11:22,956 --> 00:11:24,689
Okay.

234
00:11:24,691 --> 00:11:27,858
You really are kind,
big-hearted, delicious...

235
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,926
yummy, yummy, young boy.

236
00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:34,029
And you're so, so, handsome.

237
00:11:34,031 --> 00:11:36,698
Oh, I'm not handsome,
but thank you.

238
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:39,100
And so modest.

239
00:11:39,102 --> 00:11:40,222
I guess I'm a modest mouse.

240
00:11:42,704 --> 00:11:45,138
Greg, where do you come up
with this stuff?

241
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:47,773
Well, that's the name
of a band, actually.

242
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,255
Oh.
Yeah.

243
00:11:49,741 --> 00:11:51,308
Rachel!

244
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,110
I've got a modest little mouse
here to see you!

245
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:56,178
Rachel.

246
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,846
Greg, what are you doing here?

247
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,014
So, uh...

248
00:12:01,216 --> 00:12:02,749
the doctor
really recommends

249
00:12:02,751 --> 00:12:05,084
a strong dosage of Gregitor.

250
00:12:05,086 --> 00:12:06,351
You already used that joke.

251
00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:07,353
No.

252
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:11,222
No, 'cause last time
it was about Greg-acil...

253
00:12:11,224 --> 00:12:14,124
which if you recall comes
in convenient gel-tab form.

254
00:12:14,126 --> 00:12:16,192
Look, I don't want you
hanging out with me.

255
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,826
I don't need your stupid pity.

256
00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:18,793
It's fine, you can just go.

257
00:12:18,795 --> 00:12:20,294
No, no.

258
00:12:20,296 --> 00:12:22,896
You got it all wrong. I'm not
here 'cause I pity you.

259
00:12:22,898 --> 00:12:25,365
I'm actually here
because my mom is making me.

260
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:28,434
That's actually worse.

261
00:12:28,436 --> 00:12:30,702
Yeah, I know.

262
00:12:30,704 --> 00:12:34,038
Look, it's okay. Honestly,
I'm fine. Just... just go.

263
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,373
Okay, Rachel, just listen
to me for a second.

264
00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:40,342
My mom is gonna turn my life
into a living hell...

265
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:42,811
if I don't hang out
with you.

266
00:12:42,813 --> 00:12:46,181
I can't overstate how annoying
she's being about this.

267
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,850
She's basically like
the LeBron James of nagging.

268
00:12:50,986 --> 00:12:52,319
LeBron James plays basketball.

269
00:12:52,321 --> 00:12:53,561
I know who LeBron James is.

270
00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:58,023
Look, I know I'm not doing you
any favors here.

271
00:12:58,025 --> 00:13:00,191
What I'm asking is for you
to do me a favor.

272
00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:00,991
You want a favor from me?

273
00:13:01,158 --> 00:13:02,858
Yes.

274
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:05,360
Just let me hang out
with you for one day.

275
00:13:05,362 --> 00:13:07,195
I could tell
my mom we hung out

276
00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:09,497
and then we'll just be
out of each other's lives.

277
00:13:10,098 --> 00:13:11,264
Deal?

278
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:14,367
Deal.

279
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,868
Word.

280
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:19,303
Is that a Black Power salute?

281
00:13:19,305 --> 00:13:21,071
No, I was going in
for a fist bump.

282
00:13:21,073 --> 00:13:22,205
I can't fist bump you
from up here.

283
00:13:22,207 --> 00:13:24,073
Yeah, I realize that.

284
00:13:39,823 --> 00:13:40,889
Books.

285
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:42,490
Nice.

286
00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:47,360
And, uh...

287
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,362
tree wallpaper.

288
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,463
That's good.

289
00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:54,031
Why?

290
00:13:55,032 --> 00:13:56,032
I don't know.

291
00:14:23,926 --> 00:14:25,526
There's a lot of pillows
in here.

292
00:14:27,162 --> 00:14:29,396
Mmm-hmm.

293
00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:32,432
Seriously, like, how many...
how many pillows is that?

294
00:14:33,801 --> 00:14:34,901
I don't know.

295
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:38,170
I wish I had
that many pillows.

296
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:41,941
So, ask your parents for some.

297
00:14:41,943 --> 00:14:44,276
No, they'd be suspicious
or something.

298
00:14:45,645 --> 00:14:47,612
What, that you'd sleep
all the time?

299
00:14:47,614 --> 00:14:49,614
No. Probably assume

300
00:14:49,616 --> 00:14:51,248
I was gonna masturbate
all over them.

301
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,551
They just have
some gross ideas about me.

302
00:14:54,553 --> 00:14:55,553
But that's on them.

303
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:59,155
They're always getting
sexy pillows.

304
00:15:01,124 --> 00:15:02,457
This is a nice pillow.

305
00:15:02,459 --> 00:15:03,591
This pillow is a dude,
obviously...

306
00:15:03,593 --> 00:15:05,125
but it reminds me
of this pillow

307
00:15:05,127 --> 00:15:07,026
we used to have
named Francesca.

308
00:15:07,028 --> 00:15:08,560
They have a similar coloring.

309
00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:10,428
Anyway, Francesca,
we had to eventually

310
00:15:10,430 --> 00:15:12,663
give away because in the end...

311
00:15:12,665 --> 00:15:14,965
that whole situation
was just a real problem.

312
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,566
It was a mess.

313
00:15:16,568 --> 00:15:19,001
There was a real chemistry

314
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:21,169
between us both that
I think no one could deny.

315
00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:24,238
I know the world may have
thought it was wrong...

316
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,074
but I think, personally,
the world was wrong...

317
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,975
about what
could be between...

318
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,511
a pillow, and a boy...

319
00:15:33,579 --> 00:15:35,079
who became a man.

320
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,416
Or whatever. I'm just...

321
00:15:41,284 --> 00:15:43,218
trying to be funny.

322
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,619
No, that was good. Thank you.

323
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:49,689
Oh, shit.

324
00:15:54,094 --> 00:15:56,061
I actually have to go.

325
00:15:56,063 --> 00:15:57,996
That's okay. Who was that?

326
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,465
Sorry. Uh, that was Earl.

327
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:01,507
Oh, who's Earl?

328
00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:05,069
You may remember Earl
from 15 minutes ago.

329
00:16:05,071 --> 00:16:06,570
Titties.

330
00:16:06,572 --> 00:16:08,505
So, some people think
Earl is my friend,

331
00:16:08,507 --> 00:16:09,706
but he's really not.

332
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:11,607
He's more like a coworker.

333
00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:13,241
I've known him
since kindergarten.

334
00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:15,610
His house is
a short walk from mine,

335
00:16:15,612 --> 00:16:17,578
but in a much
tougher neighborhood.

336
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:21,048
His dad is in Texas, his mom
is a depressed shut-in.

337
00:16:21,050 --> 00:16:23,083
And his brother
Derrick's dog Doopie

338
00:16:23,085 --> 00:16:25,085
will definitely eat me someday.

339
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,621
Doopie, Doopie, chill!

340
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,027
So over the years we've
mostly hung out at my place.

341
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:40,296
Usually with my dad,
a tenured sociology professor.

342
00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:42,531
What you got, cat?
You wanna fight?

343
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:45,133
Didn't think so, punk-ass cat.

344
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:47,001
- Boys!
- His job allows him

345
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,502
to be frequently at home
doing nothing.

346
00:16:48,504 --> 00:16:50,537
You'll want to pay
close attention to this.

347
00:16:50,539 --> 00:16:53,540
The insane conquistador,
Aguirre,

348
00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:55,208
is raging through the jungle...

349
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:57,777
in search of a golden city
that doesn't exist.

350
00:16:57,779 --> 00:16:59,478
The wrath of God.

351
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,214
It's a classic
of foreign cinema.

352
00:17:02,216 --> 00:17:03,715
Who else is with me?

353
00:17:05,385 --> 00:17:06,717
In addition to the best films...

354
00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:08,418
This is cuttlefish.

355
00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:10,253
my house also has
the weirdest food.

356
00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:12,255
A sea creature
much like a squid.

357
00:17:12,257 --> 00:17:14,790
It is a favorite East Asian
snack food.

358
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:17,092
Obviously we come from
pretty different backgrounds.

359
00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:19,394
But somehow, we like
most of the same things.

360
00:17:19,396 --> 00:17:22,130
Yes, its smell is
odd and repellent

361
00:17:22,132 --> 00:17:23,598
to our Western noses.

362
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,100
And we learned pretty early on

363
00:17:26,102 --> 00:17:27,568
that we were the only ones
who liked...

364
00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:30,337
for example,
classics of foreign cinema.

365
00:17:32,106 --> 00:17:33,573
Why did we like them?

366
00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:35,575
It's hard to say.

367
00:17:35,577 --> 00:17:37,310
Maybe it's that they were
weird and often violent,

368
00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:39,245
like us.

369
00:17:39,247 --> 00:17:41,747
Or confusing and possibly
meaningless, like life.

370
00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:44,382
You can't escape of
this stinkin' camp

371
00:17:44,384 --> 00:17:45,583
because you never know
when they call you.

372
00:17:45,585 --> 00:17:49,053
Because you're paid for,
you're under contract.

373
00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:53,523
Anyway,
we liked them so much

374
00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:54,725
we started making our own.

375
00:17:55,592 --> 00:17:57,259
Action!

376
00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:59,127
The idea behind
each one was...

377
00:17:59,129 --> 00:18:00,228
we took a film
that we liked

378
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:01,729
and made the title stupider.

379
00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:03,297
And then made a new film

380
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,132
to reflect
the new stupid title.

381
00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:07,134
It's a formula that only
produces horrible films...

382
00:18:07,136 --> 00:18:09,636
but for some reason
we keep using it.

383
00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:55,243
We've made 42 films.

384
00:18:55,245 --> 00:18:56,811
You'd think we'd have stopped
making them by now.

385
00:18:56,813 --> 00:18:58,712
But we haven't.

386
00:18:58,714 --> 00:19:00,447
Honestly, it's like
you can't go anywhere.

387
00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:03,249
You can't escape this
stinking place...

388
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,850
because you don't know
when they call you...

389
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,553
and you're paid to be here,
it's bullshit.

390
00:19:08,555 --> 00:19:10,454
Yeah, and it's like, you know,

391
00:19:10,456 --> 00:19:12,622
I can't do anything.
I'm not a free person.

392
00:19:12,624 --> 00:19:16,425
Truly, one of my favorites
from your oeuvre.

393
00:19:16,427 --> 00:19:19,261
A mature investigation
into the nature of violence.

394
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,563
Dad, for like
the billionth time,

395
00:19:21,565 --> 00:19:22,885
you're not allowed
to watch these.

396
00:19:23,799 --> 00:19:25,466
I'm a fan.

397
00:19:27,569 --> 00:19:29,303
You gonna go see
that girl again?

398
00:19:30,638 --> 00:19:33,206
I mean, probably, yeah.

399
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,640
You gonna play
with them titties?

400
00:19:34,642 --> 00:19:37,376
No. It's not like that.

401
00:19:37,378 --> 00:19:38,710
Well, that's not right.

402
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:40,344
I mean, this could be
her last chance on Earth

403
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,678
to be with a man.

404
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,146
Don't make this about you.

405
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,148
Earl!

406
00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:47,383
First of all,
if it's that high-stakes,

407
00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:49,385
probably won't even be able
to get a boner.

408
00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:52,387
Did I even say shit
about boners?

409
00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:54,589
No.

410
00:19:54,591 --> 00:19:58,192
What kind of cancer even is
acute myelogenous leukemia?

411
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,561
You know, cancer of the, uh...

412
00:20:02,696 --> 00:20:04,229
the thing.

413
00:20:05,731 --> 00:20:07,832
It's bullshit!

414
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,901
The Battle of Antietam was
the bloodiest day

415
00:20:10,903 --> 00:20:11,635
in American history.

416
00:20:11,637 --> 00:20:14,704
Class, what do you have to
say for yourselves?

417
00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:15,706
Respect the research.

418
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:19,407
That is what
I'm talking about!

419
00:20:19,409 --> 00:20:21,208
All right, run for your lives.

420
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:23,090
Save yourselves.
Go, go, go, go, go.

421
00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:25,710
Good work today, everybody.

422
00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:28,546
Way to go. Bam.
Love it. Good stuff.

423
00:20:28,548 --> 00:20:30,481
Good job.
Excellent work today.

424
00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:32,416
Excellent. Nice job.
Hey, can I talk to you?

425
00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:33,417
Can I talk to you
for a second?

426
00:20:33,419 --> 00:20:35,485
Sure, Greg, what's up?

427
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:38,955
Uh, do you know
any facts about leukemia?

428
00:20:38,957 --> 00:20:40,656
Leukemia?

429
00:20:40,658 --> 00:20:44,725
Yeah, it's a cancer of the
blood and/or bone marrow.

430
00:20:44,892 --> 00:20:46,592
Why?

431
00:20:46,594 --> 00:20:48,860
Right, so it's pretty
spread out in the body?

432
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:50,695
That is a fact, yes.

433
00:20:50,697 --> 00:20:53,330
How soon do
people die from it?

434
00:20:53,332 --> 00:20:54,898
I think it's often
pretty treatable, bud.

435
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,566
Why do you ask?

436
00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:59,502
Well, you know Rachel Kushner
has leukemia, right?

437
00:20:59,504 --> 00:21:00,603
Wait, Rachel has what?

438
00:21:01,638 --> 00:21:03,538
I'm, like,
innovatively stupid.

439
00:21:05,507 --> 00:21:07,975
Everyone was gonna find out
sooner or later.

440
00:21:07,977 --> 00:21:10,310
Just hate having to share
everything about myself.

441
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,552
I'm the exact same way.

442
00:21:12,245 --> 00:21:14,379
You know, one thing you can do

443
00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:15,646
if you don't want to
talk to anyone...

444
00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:17,528
is just enter
a subhuman state.

445
00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:21,884
Here, pretend you're
someone annoying.

446
00:21:28,991 --> 00:21:30,491
"Hi, Rachel.

447
00:21:30,493 --> 00:21:31,933
"I'm really sorry
you have cancer."

448
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:46,771
Does that ever work?

449
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:50,775
Yeah, of course.
It works all the time.

450
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:53,010
It's called passive resistance.

451
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,479
You know, that's what Gandhi
was all about.

452
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,601
I'm pretty sure Gandhi
never did the subhuman thing.

453
00:22:00,584 --> 00:22:03,419
That's how India achieved
statehood. Here, try it.

454
00:22:06,956 --> 00:22:08,456
Nope.

455
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,698
Come on, it's easy.

456
00:22:12,027 --> 00:22:14,828
Okay. Or another thing
you can do is just

457
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:16,329
flat-out pretend to be dead.

458
00:22:17,731 --> 00:22:19,465
Say something annoying to me.

459
00:22:19,467 --> 00:22:20,467
Um...

460
00:22:22,368 --> 00:22:24,436
"Hey, Rachel. I just want you
to remember

461
00:22:24,438 --> 00:22:26,404
"that your cancer
is all part of God's plan."

462
00:22:33,044 --> 00:22:34,778
Hey, asshole.

463
00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:36,112
Yeah, over here.

464
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,747
Just so we're straight on this,

465
00:22:38,749 --> 00:22:40,448
you're advising
a girl with cancer...

466
00:22:40,450 --> 00:22:42,450
to pretend to be dead.

467
00:22:43,652 --> 00:22:45,085
No, seriously.

468
00:22:45,087 --> 00:22:47,020
Think about what you're
doing here, dickhead.

469
00:22:47,022 --> 00:22:48,654
I've been doing
my broody Wolverine face on

470
00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:49,955
this girl's wall...

471
00:22:49,957 --> 00:22:51,790
for five
and a quarter years,

472
00:22:51,792 --> 00:22:53,091
and at this point, I'm
probably only still here...

473
00:22:53,093 --> 00:22:54,725
because she'd feel
weirdly guilty

474
00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,426
or disloyal taking me down.

475
00:22:56,428 --> 00:22:58,027
But I'm goddamned
if I'm letting

476
00:22:58,029 --> 00:22:59,561
a little punk like you
waltz in here...

477
00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:00,862
stupiding up the place!

478
00:23:00,864 --> 00:23:02,096
Not on my watch, pal.

479
00:23:02,098 --> 00:23:03,130
Greg, what's wrong?

480
00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:06,933
I'm really sorry.

481
00:23:08,669 --> 00:23:10,436
I shouldn't have told you
to pretend to be dead.

482
00:23:10,438 --> 00:23:11,870
That was really insensitive.

483
00:23:13,172 --> 00:23:14,906
I mean, I'm sick.
I'm not dying.

484
00:23:14,908 --> 00:23:17,141
Yeah, I know, but I just...

485
00:23:17,143 --> 00:23:19,409
Now I'm being
all weird about it.

486
00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:21,744
And I can't get un-weird,
'cause I just...

487
00:23:21,746 --> 00:23:23,178
Despite what you said,

488
00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:25,013
I'm clearly still sitting here
thinking...

489
00:23:25,015 --> 00:23:27,375
"death, death, death,
death, death, death."

490
00:23:39,192 --> 00:23:41,660
That's exactly
what I'm talking about!

491
00:23:44,129 --> 00:23:46,597
So if this was
a touching romantic story...

492
00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:47,831
this is probably
where a new feeling

493
00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:49,032
would wash over me...

494
00:23:49,034 --> 00:23:52,435
and suddenly we would be
furiously making out...

495
00:23:52,437 --> 00:23:54,397
with the fire
of a thousand suns.

496
00:23:58,807 --> 00:24:00,808
But this isn't
a touching romantic story.

497
00:24:00,810 --> 00:24:02,743
Anyway...
Yep.

498
00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:04,511
But we did still become friends.

499
00:24:12,086 --> 00:24:14,487
Daniel Craig's thing is,
he's got an accent, right?

500
00:24:14,489 --> 00:24:17,223
So he's used to talking with
his mouth in a weird shape...

501
00:24:17,225 --> 00:24:19,625
which is why he has
pouty lips, like a woman.

502
00:24:19,627 --> 00:24:22,494
Lickable technology, like,
I could text you a sandwich.

503
00:24:22,496 --> 00:24:26,698
There's a button on the nape
of his neck, under the skin.

504
00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:29,033
Just push it
if you want him to stop.

505
00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:31,101
Do you believe animals
just live in our house,

506
00:24:31,103 --> 00:24:32,802
and everyone's cool with it?

507
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,703
Like, real animals?

508
00:24:34,705 --> 00:24:36,805
Anyway. You talk now.

509
00:24:37,573 --> 00:24:39,640
You mean, talk about cancer?

510
00:24:39,642 --> 00:24:42,075
Only if you want to.

511
00:24:42,077 --> 00:24:43,743
The hardest part is
watching my mom

512
00:24:43,745 --> 00:24:46,746
trying to deal with it all.

513
00:24:46,748 --> 00:24:48,481
And sometimes, I mean,
I do think if it ends up

514
00:24:48,483 --> 00:24:50,783
that she's alone
in that house...

515
00:24:50,785 --> 00:24:52,518
She has no one. She and my dad
hate each other.

516
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,019
She has no siblings.

517
00:24:54,021 --> 00:24:55,553
I don't know what she'd do.

518
00:24:57,789 --> 00:24:59,156
Don't cry.

519
00:24:59,158 --> 00:25:01,758
I'm not crying.

520
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,960
Right, well, you know,
you can cry if you need to.

521
00:25:03,962 --> 00:25:05,682
I thought you said,
"Don't cry."

522
00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:10,165
Me and my dad used to
walk around the block

523
00:25:10,167 --> 00:25:12,700
and count squirrels.

524
00:25:12,702 --> 00:25:14,635
Why? Did he work for, like,
the squirrel census?

525
00:25:14,637 --> 00:25:16,036
No, it was just
something we did

526
00:25:16,038 --> 00:25:18,271
when it was time for us
to spend time together.

527
00:25:18,273 --> 00:25:19,705
We didn't even say anything
while we did it.

528
00:25:19,707 --> 00:25:21,673
All we'd say was stuff like:

529
00:25:21,675 --> 00:25:24,709
"Squirrel, seven."
"Two squirrels, nine."

530
00:25:24,711 --> 00:25:28,512
Jesus. You need to apply
for a dad refund immediately.

531
00:25:28,514 --> 00:25:29,546
What group am I in?

532
00:25:29,548 --> 00:25:31,014
What?

533
00:25:31,016 --> 00:25:32,715
Yesterday you were
saying you'd mapped out

534
00:25:32,717 --> 00:25:33,849
the entire high school by group.

535
00:25:33,851 --> 00:25:35,250
What's my group?

536
00:25:35,252 --> 00:25:37,585
Seriously?
Yeah.

537
00:25:37,587 --> 00:25:40,854
Boring Jewish Senior Girls,
Subgroup 2-A.

538
00:25:42,224 --> 00:25:43,756
Please appreciate
how honest I was just now.

539
00:25:43,758 --> 00:25:44,758
You're an asshole.

540
00:25:45,758 --> 00:25:47,892
What group are you in?

541
00:25:47,894 --> 00:25:51,061
Uh, I'm not
in a group, actually.

542
00:25:51,063 --> 00:25:53,696
I just wouldn't belong to
a group that doesn't suck.

543
00:25:54,664 --> 00:25:57,298
You know,
I'm terminally awkward

544
00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:59,033
and I have a face
like a little groundhog.

545
00:25:59,035 --> 00:26:00,300
So...

546
00:26:00,302 --> 00:26:02,001
You can't really think that.

547
00:26:02,869 --> 00:26:04,703
No, I don't think that.

548
00:26:04,705 --> 00:26:06,838
I know that.

549
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,941
I just feel like, you know,
for a kid like me...

550
00:26:11,310 --> 00:26:14,645
in high school,
best case scenario,

551
00:26:14,647 --> 00:26:16,313
just... survive. You know?

552
00:26:16,315 --> 00:26:19,282
Survive without creating
any mortal enemies...

553
00:26:19,284 --> 00:26:21,717
or hideously embarrassing
yourself forever.

554
00:26:21,719 --> 00:26:24,152
Just survive until college?

555
00:26:24,154 --> 00:26:26,954
College? No. God, college is
going to be even worse.

556
00:26:27,188 --> 00:26:28,955
What?

557
00:26:28,957 --> 00:26:31,691
I mean, at least high school,
it's over at 3:00...

558
00:26:31,693 --> 00:26:34,827
and it's kids
I mostly know by now.

559
00:26:34,829 --> 00:26:36,695
But college is just gonna be
non-stop strangers.

560
00:26:36,697 --> 00:26:38,196
And some of them
even live in your room.

561
00:26:38,198 --> 00:26:40,731
It's like you can
literally never relax.

562
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:42,999
I see myself dying of
a panic attack two weeks in.

563
00:26:43,934 --> 00:26:46,001
I might just not apply.

564
00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,670
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard you say.

565
00:26:48,672 --> 00:26:50,672
It's probably
not even top five.

566
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,842
And, you know,
high school, college,

567
00:26:54,844 --> 00:26:56,143
we're forced to spend
these years of our lives...

568
00:26:56,145 --> 00:26:58,178
in randomly selected
groups of people

569
00:26:58,180 --> 00:26:59,913
that we have nothing
in common with.

570
00:26:59,915 --> 00:27:01,147
It's a nightmare.

571
00:27:02,182 --> 00:27:04,183
Anyone who says otherwise
is lying.

572
00:27:05,752 --> 00:27:07,085
Congratulations, Greg.

573
00:27:07,087 --> 00:27:08,252
Tomorrow,
you're eating lunch with

574
00:27:08,254 --> 00:27:10,787
Boring Jewish Senior Girls,
Subgroup 2-A.

575
00:27:14,657 --> 00:27:15,897
So where do you usually sit?

576
00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:20,953
It's literally like we're trying
to have lunch in Kandahar.

577
00:27:24,898 --> 00:27:27,933
Rachel, we just found out the
theme for this year's prom:

578
00:27:27,935 --> 00:27:29,901
"A Knight to Remember."

579
00:27:29,903 --> 00:27:31,903
Knight with a "K."
Medieval prom!

580
00:27:31,905 --> 00:27:34,105
Isn't prom like
six months away?

581
00:27:34,107 --> 00:27:35,272
Hi, guys. This is Greg,

582
00:27:35,274 --> 00:27:37,274
he's gonna be
sitting with us today.

583
00:27:37,276 --> 00:27:39,809
Anybody need any spoons? No?

584
00:27:42,078 --> 00:27:43,144
Hello.

585
00:27:45,614 --> 00:27:48,248
So, Greg, why are you
sitting with us today?

586
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,783
You know, it's lunch.

587
00:27:50,785 --> 00:27:53,018
You gotta eat somewhere.
Can't stand and eat.

588
00:27:53,020 --> 00:27:55,954
You and Rachel seem very
friendly, all of a sudden.

589
00:27:56,121 --> 00:27:58,155
Yeah.

590
00:27:58,157 --> 00:27:59,723
You're only talking to her
because she has cancer.

591
00:27:59,725 --> 00:28:01,157
What?

592
00:28:01,159 --> 00:28:03,626
Greg, you hung out
with Rachel once.

593
00:28:03,628 --> 00:28:04,927
You're befriending her to
feel good about yourself.

594
00:28:04,929 --> 00:28:06,328
No, I'm not.

595
00:28:06,330 --> 00:28:07,330
Who even does that?

596
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,199
You guys mind
if I sit with you?

597
00:28:12,201 --> 00:28:13,201
Of course not.

598
00:28:16,002 --> 00:28:17,402
Sorry, it's a...

599
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,070
It's a pillow.
It's meant to be a baby,

600
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,905
for health class.

601
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:22,072
You think it's safe here?

602
00:28:22,074 --> 00:28:23,106
A pillow?

603
00:28:24,341 --> 00:28:25,461
Greg, what do you think?

604
00:28:26,009 --> 00:28:27,676
Mmm, I don't know.

605
00:28:27,678 --> 00:28:29,044
Better not get it
too close to me,

606
00:28:29,046 --> 00:28:31,406
otherwise I might just
masturbate onto it.

607
00:28:32,781 --> 00:28:34,501
Ew, Greg,
that's just weird and gross.

608
00:28:39,186 --> 00:28:40,719
Hey, everyone,

609
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:42,954
check out Scott Mayhew's
Tyrannosaurus walk.

610
00:28:42,956 --> 00:28:45,156
It's a great way to get
from point A to point B.

611
00:28:45,657 --> 00:28:47,024
That was really mean, Greg.

612
00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,258
I think he heard you.

613
00:28:54,797 --> 00:28:55,997
And just like that...

614
00:28:57,799 --> 00:28:59,733
eight years
of carefully-cultivated

615
00:28:59,735 --> 00:29:02,035
invisibility... gone.

616
00:29:02,971 --> 00:29:03,971
Fin.

617
00:29:05,238 --> 00:29:07,372
Your mom made cookies?

618
00:29:07,374 --> 00:29:11,075
Nah, I won them off
of Ill Phil in a game of tonk.

619
00:29:11,077 --> 00:29:14,245
Got tired of whooping
your sorry ass.

620
00:29:14,247 --> 00:29:16,780
Why do they even call it
Scholar Horizons Biology?

621
00:29:16,782 --> 00:29:20,049
Maybe they should call it
Scholar Horizons Tonk.

622
00:29:20,051 --> 00:29:21,550
Or Sometimes Paper Football.

623
00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:23,218
Heathens.

624
00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:24,740
What up?
Hi, Mr. McCarthy.

625
00:29:26,221 --> 00:29:27,221
Wow.

626
00:29:28,423 --> 00:29:32,225
Earl, fact,
that lunch is garbage.

627
00:29:32,227 --> 00:29:35,428
You're literally poisoning
yourself right in front of us.

628
00:29:35,430 --> 00:29:37,196
At least I ain't eating
no funky ass

629
00:29:37,198 --> 00:29:39,898
seaweed-looking tentacle soup.

630
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:42,533
Seriously, this stuff
is the business.

631
00:29:42,535 --> 00:29:44,835
It's Vietnamese.
It's called Pho.

632
00:29:44,837 --> 00:29:46,870
It is "Pho-nomenal."

633
00:29:46,872 --> 00:29:48,072
Well, let me try
some one time.

634
00:29:48,171 --> 00:29:49,171
Mmm.

635
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,239
Now you want to try some?
Yeah.

636
00:29:52,241 --> 00:29:54,007
Well, no.

637
00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:56,275
It's strictly forbidden for me
to give you food.

638
00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:57,409
However, if you go to...

639
00:29:59,178 --> 00:30:01,512
Thuyen's Super
Saigon Flavor

640
00:30:01,514 --> 00:30:03,113
over in Lawrenceville...

641
00:30:03,115 --> 00:30:05,081
and ask for Thuyen.

642
00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:07,549
Tell him to put it on my tab.
You'll be all set.

643
00:30:10,553 --> 00:30:13,021
I ain't going to
no damn Lawrenceville.

644
00:30:13,023 --> 00:30:14,288
Fair enough.

645
00:30:16,591 --> 00:30:18,257
You'll have to excuse me.

646
00:30:21,894 --> 00:30:23,227
Boys.

647
00:30:23,229 --> 00:30:24,928
Respect the research.

648
00:30:24,930 --> 00:30:25,930
Respect!

649
00:30:32,968 --> 00:30:34,501
God! You know,
people just assume that

650
00:30:34,503 --> 00:30:36,202
Rachel and I are dating.

651
00:30:36,204 --> 00:30:37,836
It's ruining my life.

652
00:30:37,838 --> 00:30:40,505
Today I threatened to
sexually assault a fake baby.

653
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:43,140
And I became mortal enemies
with Scott Mayhew.

654
00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:45,382
Both of which
are Rachel's fault.

655
00:30:45,910 --> 00:30:48,044
Sorry, but they just are.

656
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:50,946
Of course I'm a dick
for complaining about it.

657
00:30:50,948 --> 00:30:53,188
I mean, I am a dick
for complaining about it.

658
00:30:53,883 --> 00:30:55,884
I didn't actually mean
any of that.

659
00:30:55,886 --> 00:30:57,318
Better play with them titties.

660
00:31:02,256 --> 00:31:04,736
Does this taste strange to you?

661
00:32:01,410 --> 00:32:03,077
The soup had drugs.

662
00:32:08,248 --> 00:32:09,280
Whoa!

663
00:32:14,552 --> 00:32:16,085
McCarthy must've
put weed in that soup

664
00:32:16,087 --> 00:32:17,386
because my brain
is trying to eat itself.

665
00:32:17,388 --> 00:32:19,020
Oh, my God.

666
00:32:19,022 --> 00:32:20,388
I have to go visit
Rachel right now.

667
00:32:20,390 --> 00:32:22,123
Okay, well, you do that.

668
00:32:22,125 --> 00:32:24,191
I'ma be at your house
eatin' up all your dad's food.

669
00:32:24,193 --> 00:32:26,026
No! You have to
come help!

670
00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:27,193
Help with what?

671
00:32:27,195 --> 00:32:28,195
Help!

672
00:32:31,430 --> 00:32:33,097
Hey, in class,
do McCarthy act all, like,

673
00:32:33,099 --> 00:32:34,364
stoned and shit?

674
00:32:35,332 --> 00:32:37,232
Uh, I don't know.
I guess.

675
00:32:37,234 --> 00:32:38,666
Yeah, sometimes.

676
00:32:38,668 --> 00:32:40,567
Well, not sometimes,

677
00:32:40,569 --> 00:32:42,068
but you know what I'm...
You know how he is.

678
00:32:42,070 --> 00:32:44,136
Goddamn, son.

679
00:32:44,138 --> 00:32:46,238
You can't even put a full damn
sentence together.

680
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,174
It's insane that Mr. McCarthy
eats soup with drugs in it.

681
00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:51,409
Hey, come on, man,
keep your damn voice down.

682
00:33:04,022 --> 00:33:05,622
We can't tell anyone
we're on drugs.

683
00:33:05,624 --> 00:33:07,023
Why the hell not?

684
00:33:09,426 --> 00:33:11,193
Because then they'll know.

685
00:33:30,544 --> 00:33:33,312
It's my humble little mouse.

686
00:33:33,314 --> 00:33:35,347
And who is
his little mouse friend?

687
00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:39,984
Earl Jackson.

688
00:33:39,986 --> 00:33:43,454
Earl's just my coworker,
and, uh, he's a great guy.

689
00:33:43,456 --> 00:33:45,589
We were just walking around
the neighborhood, you know.

690
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:48,425
Not really doing anything,

691
00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:50,026
and just wanted
to come say "What's up?"

692
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:52,261
'Cause Rachel's
about to lose her hair.

693
00:33:52,263 --> 00:33:53,729
Mmm.
So, just wanted to say,

694
00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:57,365
you know,
"Bye, hair. Good riddance."

695
00:33:57,367 --> 00:34:00,067
She's gonna look great without
hair. That's a fact, so...

696
00:34:00,069 --> 00:34:02,035
Yeah, I just wanted to say
what's up.

697
00:34:02,037 --> 00:34:05,071
Rachel! We've got
two cute little mouse boys

698
00:34:05,073 --> 00:34:06,953
on our doorstep
that wanna say hi!

699
00:34:10,076 --> 00:34:14,345
Would you two... mice
like a little bit of cheese?

700
00:34:18,416 --> 00:34:19,536
Okay.

701
00:34:26,723 --> 00:34:29,357
I like your room, Rachel.

702
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:31,659
Thanks. Greg thinks
it's too girly.

703
00:34:31,661 --> 00:34:34,294
No, I love girly,
I think it's fine.

704
00:34:34,296 --> 00:34:35,662
Well,
it ain't too girly.

705
00:34:35,664 --> 00:34:38,464
"Yo, this some
pink puffy bullshit."

706
00:34:38,466 --> 00:34:40,199
I mean, Hello Kitty posters

707
00:34:40,201 --> 00:34:42,467
and chocolate and naked dudes
all over the wall.

708
00:34:42,469 --> 00:34:44,602
They make me want to
throw up for real.

709
00:34:44,604 --> 00:34:47,104
Hey, if you're gonna throw up,
don't do it in here, okay?

710
00:34:47,106 --> 00:34:48,106
This is her room.

711
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,541
Anyways.

712
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:53,863
Rachel, we really just wanted
to see how you was doin'.

713
00:34:54,244 --> 00:34:55,644
Thanks.

714
00:34:55,646 --> 00:34:58,313
Yeah, chemotherapy.
That really sucks.

715
00:34:58,315 --> 00:34:59,315
Greg.

716
00:35:00,549 --> 00:35:03,484
What the hell, bro?
Don't say it suck, dumb-ass!

717
00:35:03,486 --> 00:35:05,519
It does kinda suck.

718
00:35:05,521 --> 00:35:07,420
Yeah, but I mean, you gotta do
what you gotta do.

719
00:35:07,422 --> 00:35:08,554
Yeah, I guess.

720
00:35:10,523 --> 00:35:11,523
Um...

721
00:35:14,059 --> 00:35:15,592
Uh...

722
00:35:15,594 --> 00:35:17,160
Look, you guys can go
if you want.

723
00:35:17,162 --> 00:35:18,661
We're on drugs.
Oh, shit!

724
00:35:18,663 --> 00:35:20,362
Why are you on drugs?

725
00:35:20,364 --> 00:35:21,730
Well, we're accidentally
on drugs.

726
00:35:21,732 --> 00:35:23,231
"Accidentally"?

727
00:35:23,233 --> 00:35:25,199
McCarthy gave us some soup.

728
00:35:25,201 --> 00:35:27,434
Well, McCarthy gave us
some of his,

729
00:35:27,436 --> 00:35:29,369
you know, just regular,
normal soup...

730
00:35:29,371 --> 00:35:30,436
but then, it was
the last of the soup

731
00:35:30,438 --> 00:35:31,537
so we had to
go get some more...

732
00:35:31,539 --> 00:35:33,605
from a restaurant,

733
00:35:33,607 --> 00:35:35,373
on the fifth floor
of an office building.

734
00:35:35,375 --> 00:35:36,807
And in the same building,

735
00:35:36,809 --> 00:35:38,175
there was a Jamaican embassy...

736
00:35:38,177 --> 00:35:40,710
and we ended up
getting trapped

737
00:35:40,712 --> 00:35:42,445
in an elevator
with a Rastafarian guy...

738
00:35:42,447 --> 00:35:45,247
and he just hotboxed
the whole elevator, so...

739
00:35:45,249 --> 00:35:47,782
We were stuck in there
for, like, 25 minutes...

740
00:35:47,784 --> 00:35:48,716
and we had to breathe
the weird marijuana air.

741
00:35:48,718 --> 00:35:50,617
Earl, am I right?

742
00:35:50,619 --> 00:35:51,819
That's exactly what happened.

743
00:35:52,852 --> 00:35:55,520
You guys had
quite an adventure.

744
00:35:55,522 --> 00:35:58,155
Being on drugs
just really sucks.

745
00:35:58,157 --> 00:36:00,123
Being around people
on drugs sucks.

746
00:36:00,125 --> 00:36:03,593
This whole situation, really
sorry, just sucks. I'm sorry.

747
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:06,162
Yo, yo. What the hell
is your problem, man?

748
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,630
All apologetic and shit,

749
00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:09,131
making shit
'bout your sorry ass.

750
00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:11,233
Look, that's not what we came
here to do. Okay?

751
00:36:11,235 --> 00:36:12,434
You wanna help,
you gonna take this girl out

752
00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:13,802
to get some ice cream.

753
00:36:14,804 --> 00:36:16,805
And me, too,
'cause I love that shit.

754
00:36:16,807 --> 00:36:18,139
You like ice cream?

755
00:36:18,141 --> 00:36:19,807
Yeah.

756
00:36:19,809 --> 00:36:21,475
So, you know
Greg from class?

757
00:36:22,610 --> 00:36:24,811
I've known Greg
ever since we were little.

758
00:36:24,813 --> 00:36:26,546
You know, I was in
y'all kindergarten, right?

759
00:36:26,548 --> 00:36:28,247
Really?

760
00:36:28,249 --> 00:36:29,781
Mmm-hmm. I remember you.

761
00:36:29,783 --> 00:36:31,816
You was the girl who called
Justin Jones perverted...

762
00:36:31,818 --> 00:36:34,251
for showing girls
the birthmark on his butt.

763
00:36:34,253 --> 00:36:35,253
Oh, my God, yes!

764
00:36:35,853 --> 00:36:37,854
Yeah, dude came running up,

765
00:36:37,856 --> 00:36:39,956
showed you his butt.
You were calm.

766
00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:42,525
Said, "Justin, only perverts
show their butts."

767
00:36:42,527 --> 00:36:43,726
I was right there.

768
00:36:43,728 --> 00:36:45,828
I can't believe
you remember that.

769
00:36:45,830 --> 00:36:48,931
You a hero. Shut his
perverted ass right down.

770
00:36:48,933 --> 00:36:50,332
I never forget it.

771
00:36:51,367 --> 00:36:53,468
So you and Greg are coworkers?

772
00:36:53,470 --> 00:36:54,969
Naw, we friends.

773
00:36:54,971 --> 00:36:57,571
He just hates calling people
his friend. Dude's got issues.

774
00:36:57,573 --> 00:37:00,340
Yeah, he does.
What's going on?

775
00:37:00,342 --> 00:37:02,742
Man, I don't even know.
It might be his folks.

776
00:37:02,744 --> 00:37:04,677
I mean, dude's mom
always tellin' him

777
00:37:04,679 --> 00:37:06,812
how handsome he is,
which he ain't.

778
00:37:06,814 --> 00:37:09,514
So now he think he can't trust
anybody close to him.

779
00:37:09,516 --> 00:37:10,948
Dude's weird-ass dad

780
00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:13,417
don't socialize with anybody
'cept the cat.

781
00:37:13,419 --> 00:37:15,886
So that's a role model
ain't got no friends.

782
00:37:15,888 --> 00:37:17,654
Bottom line, dude's terrified

783
00:37:17,656 --> 00:37:19,656
of callin' somebody
his friend...

784
00:37:19,658 --> 00:37:21,858
and they sayin', "Hey, bro,
I'm not your friend."

785
00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:23,359
Then he'd have to kill himself.

786
00:37:23,361 --> 00:37:25,327
But how are you coworkers?

787
00:37:25,329 --> 00:37:27,662
We, um, we make films.

788
00:37:27,929 --> 00:37:29,763
Movies?

789
00:37:29,765 --> 00:37:32,532
Yeah. We been making them
for a few years now.

790
00:37:32,534 --> 00:37:34,400
We have, like, 42 in total.

791
00:37:34,868 --> 00:37:36,802
Greg! You never told me.

792
00:37:36,804 --> 00:37:38,336
Well, we never told
anybody 'bout them.

793
00:37:38,338 --> 00:37:40,338
They suck.
I mean, they're terrible.

794
00:37:40,340 --> 00:37:42,540
I'm pretty sure they don't suck.

795
00:37:42,542 --> 00:37:44,462
Well, you can see
for yourself if you want.

796
00:37:44,809 --> 00:37:46,342
Are you sure?

797
00:37:46,344 --> 00:37:47,343
Hell, yeah,
don't even worry about it.

798
00:37:47,345 --> 00:37:48,510
Just don't tell nobody.

799
00:37:48,512 --> 00:37:49,592
No, of course,
I won't.

800
00:37:51,346 --> 00:37:52,646
All right, son,
get on your feet.

801
00:37:52,648 --> 00:37:53,648
Sounds good.

802
00:37:54,514 --> 00:37:55,780
Where are we going?

803
00:38:23,503 --> 00:38:24,870
We can walk you home.

804
00:38:24,872 --> 00:38:26,304
He needs to recover,

805
00:38:26,306 --> 00:38:28,226
and you probably
should look after him.

806
00:38:29,574 --> 00:38:30,774
Peace, peace.

807
00:38:30,776 --> 00:38:32,616
Thanks.
Bye.

808
00:38:35,478 --> 00:38:37,579
Goddamn it, Earl.

809
00:38:37,581 --> 00:38:39,380
Son, don't even start.

810
00:38:39,382 --> 00:38:40,581
Pig's foot.

811
00:38:45,553 --> 00:38:48,354
So, we're pretty far
into this stupid story now...

812
00:38:48,356 --> 00:38:50,656
and you're probably
saying to yourself,

813
00:38:50,658 --> 00:38:52,624
"Hey. I like this girl Rachel.

814
00:38:52,626 --> 00:38:55,393
"And I'm gonna be pissed
if she dies at the end."

815
00:38:55,395 --> 00:38:58,429
don't freak out. She survives.

816
00:38:59,664 --> 00:39:01,665
So, hopefully,
that reassures you.

817
00:39:03,601 --> 00:39:05,868
Although, actually,
why would it?

818
00:39:05,870 --> 00:39:09,004
I'm just overwhelmed
with your enthusiasm today.

819
00:39:09,006 --> 00:39:10,472
I guess we're just gonna have
to do it

820
00:39:10,474 --> 00:39:11,973
the old-fashioned way.

821
00:39:12,808 --> 00:39:14,608
I'm thinking of one of you.

822
00:39:14,610 --> 00:39:16,009
I'm not gonna mention
any names,

823
00:39:16,011 --> 00:39:17,844
but your initials...

824
00:39:17,846 --> 00:39:19,579
are Scott Mayhew.

825
00:39:19,581 --> 00:39:21,614
Greg's been telling everyone

826
00:39:21,616 --> 00:39:23,082
your soup has marijuana in it.

827
00:39:23,084 --> 00:39:24,950
I didn't tell anyone.

828
00:39:24,952 --> 00:39:26,551
I heard you bellowing about it
on public transit.

829
00:39:26,553 --> 00:39:28,052
Is that a fact, Greg?

830
00:39:30,789 --> 00:39:33,891
Look, yesterday,
Earl and I got stoned somehow.

831
00:39:33,893 --> 00:39:35,759
And it was after
we both ate your soup.

832
00:39:35,761 --> 00:39:36,993
And we didn't smoke
any marijuana,

833
00:39:36,995 --> 00:39:38,828
which I have never done, so...

834
00:39:38,830 --> 00:39:40,129
Your soup
must have drugs in it,

835
00:39:40,131 --> 00:39:41,797
'cause that was the only thing
we both ate...

836
00:39:41,799 --> 00:39:43,398
other than some cookies
we got from Ill Phil,

837
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:44,699
the drug dealer.

838
00:39:46,368 --> 00:39:48,669
Aha.

839
00:39:48,671 --> 00:39:51,004
Man, how did you not know
it was the cookies?

840
00:39:51,006 --> 00:39:53,940
Man, it was your dumb ass
yelling that shit on the bus.

841
00:39:53,942 --> 00:39:55,508
Yo, Greg!

842
00:39:55,510 --> 00:39:57,109
Did you snitch on me?

843
00:39:57,111 --> 00:39:58,543
He did snitch on you!

844
00:39:59,411 --> 00:40:00,711
I was there.

845
00:40:00,713 --> 00:40:02,679
I heard you ridiculing me

846
00:40:02,681 --> 00:40:04,041
in front of
your loathsome harem.

847
00:40:04,881 --> 00:40:07,983
You have made...
a mortal enemy.

848
00:40:07,985 --> 00:40:09,884
And I will never stop
hounding you.

849
00:40:09,886 --> 00:40:12,419
Yeah, you made two mortal
enemies. I stabbed a dude.

850
00:40:12,421 --> 00:40:13,887
Jesus.

851
00:40:46,549 --> 00:40:48,516
So they haven't really
done anything.

852
00:40:48,518 --> 00:40:50,718
It's been about a month now.

853
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:53,454
They did say they're never
gonna stop hounding me...

854
00:40:53,456 --> 00:40:55,989
so, sooner or later...
you know...

855
00:40:55,991 --> 00:40:57,123
gonna get hounded.

856
00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:03,028
Sorry, next time
I'll bring you some flowers.

857
00:41:04,897 --> 00:41:06,964
Though I don't even know
where I'd put them.

858
00:41:06,966 --> 00:41:09,206
It's like, like the only place
left is the barf bucket.

859
00:41:12,168 --> 00:41:13,735
Flowers.

860
00:41:15,571 --> 00:41:16,771
Where you barf.

861
00:41:22,810 --> 00:41:24,043
I like that hat.

862
00:41:25,945 --> 00:41:27,178
It's pretty cute.

863
00:41:32,184 --> 00:41:36,754
Look, I've never been
very beautiful...

864
00:41:36,756 --> 00:41:39,656
and that's fine because
that's not important to me.

865
00:41:39,957 --> 00:41:41,123
But...

866
00:41:44,193 --> 00:41:45,893
I thought it'd be
easier looking like this.

867
00:41:45,895 --> 00:41:47,027
It's just not.

868
00:41:49,997 --> 00:41:53,032
Everyone comes in here
and sees me...

869
00:41:53,034 --> 00:41:55,000
and they're
so clearly repulsed.

870
00:41:56,802 --> 00:41:58,802
It's so much harder
than I thought it would be.

871
00:41:59,170 --> 00:42:00,603
Hey, come on.

872
00:42:01,004 --> 00:42:02,537
You look good.

873
00:42:02,539 --> 00:42:06,807
I'm ugly, Greg! I'm so ugly.

874
00:42:06,809 --> 00:42:08,775
Everyone feels like they have
to lie to me and no one

875
00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:11,477
realizes how insulting that is.

876
00:42:11,479 --> 00:42:13,479
Everyone thinks they're
helping, and they're not.

877
00:42:29,127 --> 00:42:30,227
Here.

878
00:42:31,629 --> 00:42:32,929
That one's called Mono Rash.

879
00:42:32,931 --> 00:42:35,164
It's based on Rashomon
by Kurosawa.

880
00:42:35,166 --> 00:42:36,598
Plot's basically
just Earl killing people

881
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:37,999
'cause he has a rash...

882
00:42:38,001 --> 00:42:40,282
from mono,
you know, the STD.

883
00:42:42,235 --> 00:42:45,103
Anyway, we're supposed
to go work on

884
00:42:45,105 --> 00:42:47,538
our homage to Apocalypse Now.

885
00:42:47,540 --> 00:42:49,606
Ours is called
A Box O' Lips, Wow,

886
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:51,488
which is even worse
than Mono Rash.

887
00:42:51,908 --> 00:42:54,009
It's a war movie
where these two guys

888
00:42:54,011 --> 00:42:55,677
take part in the unspeakable
brutality of war...

889
00:42:55,679 --> 00:42:57,945
and then they find
a box of tulips.

890
00:42:57,947 --> 00:43:00,180
Box O' Lips, yeah.
And they're just, "Wow."

891
00:43:00,182 --> 00:43:02,248
They can't get over
how great these tulips are,

892
00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:04,290
it's like,
"A box o' lips, wow!"

893
00:43:05,017 --> 00:43:06,250
The worst part is,
tulips might not

894
00:43:06,252 --> 00:43:07,751
even be in the budget anymore.

895
00:43:10,221 --> 00:43:11,621
I should actually
just stay here

896
00:43:11,623 --> 00:43:12,863
and keep you
from watching that.

897
00:43:13,189 --> 00:43:15,757
No! I'm fine. Go make it.

898
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:16,959
Okay.

899
00:43:19,527 --> 00:43:21,227
Okay. Have fun watching

900
00:43:21,229 --> 00:43:23,162
this incredibly terrible movie.

901
00:43:23,164 --> 00:43:25,264
Mmm. Have fun

902
00:43:25,266 --> 00:43:27,306
making the next one.
Mmm-hmm.

903
00:43:49,821 --> 00:43:51,855
Hey, white boy!

904
00:43:51,857 --> 00:43:53,389
Why don't you make me a tulip
'fore I have Doopie come down

905
00:43:53,391 --> 00:43:54,990
there and eat your face?

906
00:43:56,192 --> 00:43:58,226
But no, for real.
Can you make me a tulip?

907
00:43:58,228 --> 00:43:59,961
Oh, my God!
Am I on set right now?

908
00:43:59,963 --> 00:44:01,329
Oh, damn!
Oh, my God!

909
00:44:01,331 --> 00:44:04,031
Ahh! I can't take it!
Action! Cut!

910
00:44:05,199 --> 00:44:07,767
Madison, why are you here?

911
00:44:07,769 --> 00:44:09,235
Rachel said that
I could find you here...

912
00:44:09,237 --> 00:44:11,103
and your phone was going
straight to voice mail.

913
00:44:11,105 --> 00:44:13,271
Probably 'cause there ain't
no good service down there!

914
00:44:13,273 --> 00:44:15,273
But I had to get here
'cause I had to let you know.

915
00:44:15,275 --> 00:44:17,942
So, I was visiting Rachel,
and I was giving her a card...

916
00:44:17,944 --> 00:44:20,277
and she was watching
one of your secret movies.

917
00:44:20,279 --> 00:44:21,878
Oh, my God.
Wait, did you see any of it?

918
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,246
No! No, she turned it
off immediately.

919
00:44:23,248 --> 00:44:24,880
It was good, it was good.

920
00:44:24,882 --> 00:44:26,114
You know,
you're both Japanese, and...

921
00:44:26,116 --> 00:44:27,782
Earl beheaded you,
and, but then,

922
00:44:27,784 --> 00:44:29,450
she, like, turned it off.

923
00:44:29,452 --> 00:44:31,985
But I had a brainstorm. Okay?
I had an amazing brainstorm.

924
00:44:31,987 --> 00:44:35,087
I realized... you need to
make a film for Rachel.

925
00:44:36,456 --> 00:44:39,090
What do you think?

926
00:44:39,092 --> 00:44:41,025
It would be like her favorite
thing in the entire world...

927
00:44:41,027 --> 00:44:43,187
and it's like the most
important thing you could do.

928
00:44:43,228 --> 00:44:44,761
You have to do it.

929
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,332
Yeah, word.

930
00:44:50,334 --> 00:44:52,434
"Word"? Like, word,
you'll do it, word?

931
00:45:00,207 --> 00:45:01,740
Yep.

932
00:45:01,742 --> 00:45:02,974
Oh, my God, awesome!

933
00:45:02,976 --> 00:45:04,241
Okay, well,
I can't wait to see it.

934
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:05,483
Um, okay, I gotta go, but...

935
00:45:06,310 --> 00:45:07,430
Cut!

936
00:45:08,278 --> 00:45:09,518
That's a wrap!

937
00:45:09,945 --> 00:45:10,945
Rolling!

938
00:45:11,946 --> 00:45:13,246
Titties.

939
00:45:13,248 --> 00:45:14,714
Goddamn it!

940
00:45:15,382 --> 00:45:16,982
In the next few weeks,

941
00:45:16,984 --> 00:45:19,184
did I start
making that movie? No.

942
00:45:19,186 --> 00:45:21,119
Because I didn't agree
to make that movie.

943
00:45:21,121 --> 00:45:23,254
All I said was, "Word."

944
00:45:23,256 --> 00:45:25,256
"Word" could mean anything.

945
00:45:25,258 --> 00:45:26,724
Plus, we had at least
a month or two...

946
00:45:26,726 --> 00:45:30,160
all the terrible films
we'd already made.

947
00:45:30,162 --> 00:45:33,029
For example,
A Sockwork Orange.

948
00:45:58,254 --> 00:45:59,353
"Droogle"?

949
00:46:00,888 --> 00:46:02,521
It's Google for droogs.

950
00:46:03,756 --> 00:46:05,890
What's that?

951
00:46:05,892 --> 00:46:07,532
Nothing, just the bane
of my existence.

952
00:46:09,361 --> 00:46:11,061
Which my mom is forcing me
to carry around

953
00:46:11,063 --> 00:46:12,362
until I apply
to some colleges.

954
00:46:14,098 --> 00:46:15,865
She says it's like a menu

955
00:46:15,867 --> 00:46:16,932
for my future,
and I was, like, "Sure.

956
00:46:16,934 --> 00:46:19,067
"A menu that only has food

957
00:46:19,069 --> 00:46:21,302
"that will humiliate me
for four years."

958
00:46:21,304 --> 00:46:25,072
You have to be less
of an idiot about college.

959
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,307
Listen, even if you think
people won't like you...

960
00:46:27,309 --> 00:46:30,410
which is literally
an insane thing to think...

961
00:46:30,412 --> 00:46:32,211
you're way less exposed
to people in college.

962
00:46:32,213 --> 00:46:34,980
High school is 40 hours
of class a week.

963
00:46:34,982 --> 00:46:37,949
College is, like, 15 and 20.

964
00:46:37,951 --> 00:46:39,083
And if you don't want to
live with other people,

965
00:46:39,085 --> 00:46:41,385
then go to Pittsburgh State.

966
00:46:41,387 --> 00:46:43,453
Live at home.

967
00:46:43,455 --> 00:46:46,322
It's better than
sitting college out

968
00:46:46,324 --> 00:46:47,844
because you irrationally
hate yourself.

969
00:46:48,191 --> 00:46:50,258
Not irrationally, though.

970
00:46:50,260 --> 00:46:51,525
Apply to Pittsburgh State.

971
00:46:52,793 --> 00:46:55,961
Right now. Apply early.

972
00:46:55,963 --> 00:46:58,930
Come on. Do it in front of me.
Apply to Pittsburgh State.

973
00:46:58,932 --> 00:47:00,172
What if I say no?

974
00:47:01,966 --> 00:47:03,900
I have stage four cancer.

975
00:47:06,236 --> 00:47:08,303
So that would be a pretty
dick move. Come on.

976
00:47:08,305 --> 00:47:09,305
Fine.

977
00:47:16,410 --> 00:47:20,212
"Why I want to
go... to college."

978
00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,417
By Werner Herzog.

979
00:47:28,286 --> 00:47:29,386
The highly selective

980
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:31,287
admissions process...

981
00:47:31,289 --> 00:47:34,290
weeds out the cruel
and the stupid.

982
00:47:34,292 --> 00:47:37,860
So college is unlike
the senseless chaos...

983
00:47:37,862 --> 00:47:41,430
and sickening enormity
of high school.

984
00:47:41,432 --> 00:47:44,866
High school is the mouth
of a great demon...

985
00:47:44,868 --> 00:47:46,601
biting and chewing

986
00:47:46,603 --> 00:47:48,035
and smushing people in the face.

987
00:47:49,404 --> 00:47:52,038
It is simply overwhelming.

988
00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,543
In all seriousness,

989
00:47:57,545 --> 00:47:59,511
I am looking forward
to college...

990
00:47:59,513 --> 00:48:02,280
because I didn't really
fit in in high school,

991
00:48:02,282 --> 00:48:03,114
because of my weird
rodent face...

992
00:48:03,116 --> 00:48:04,615
No.

993
00:48:04,617 --> 00:48:07,384
and a habit of saying
the dumbest possible shit.

994
00:48:07,386 --> 00:48:09,018
No!

995
00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:12,087
The sheer pastiness
of my complexion...

996
00:48:12,089 --> 00:48:16,224
overwhelms all who behold
it with existential nausea.

997
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:20,494
"In high school, I never
truly felt comfortable...

998
00:48:21,162 --> 00:48:22,896
"... in my own skin.

999
00:48:22,898 --> 00:48:24,998
"In fact,
I've always been someone...

1000
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:29,535
"... who doesn't
really like themselves.

1001
00:48:29,537 --> 00:48:33,639
"But I think that's because I
have some growing up to do...

1002
00:48:33,641 --> 00:48:37,508
"... and college is the place
where I'm going to do it."

1003
00:48:41,045 --> 00:48:42,345
That's way too personal.

1004
00:48:46,583 --> 00:48:47,983
Fine, if you want to
see this again...

1005
00:48:47,985 --> 00:48:49,517
Okay! Okay!

1006
00:48:50,519 --> 00:48:52,653
But only because cancer.

1007
00:48:54,122 --> 00:48:56,456
And you know what? You have to
do this too now. Here.

1008
00:48:57,491 --> 00:48:59,158
Page through this huge,
horrible book

1009
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,425
and find some colleges.

1010
00:49:00,427 --> 00:49:01,667
That's yours now.

1011
00:49:03,061 --> 00:49:05,342
Mmm. It's like a menu
for your future.

1012
00:49:09,399 --> 00:49:11,266
Can I finish my movie first?

1013
00:51:32,656 --> 00:51:34,490
So,
if we make this film,

1014
00:51:34,492 --> 00:51:35,572
people are gonna be, like:

1015
00:51:36,025 --> 00:51:37,258
"Oh, Greg and Earl,

1016
00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:39,059
"they're those weird filmmakers.

1017
00:51:39,061 --> 00:51:40,794
"They're always
creepily filming stuff.

1018
00:51:40,796 --> 00:51:42,395
"They'll probably sneak into
your house one night

1019
00:51:42,397 --> 00:51:43,763
"and film you
while you're sleeping."

1020
00:51:43,765 --> 00:51:45,264
But people probably
already think that,

1021
00:51:45,266 --> 00:51:48,767
So now, I've become
completely conspicuous,

1022
00:51:48,769 --> 00:51:50,335
like all the time.

1023
00:51:50,337 --> 00:51:51,669
People look at me and think,

1024
00:51:51,671 --> 00:51:53,037
"Filmmaker."
The hell even is this?

1025
00:51:53,039 --> 00:51:54,038
When they're not
already thinking,

1026
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,272
"Cancer girl's boyfriend."

1027
00:51:55,274 --> 00:51:56,539
It tastes like a dog's
funky-ass butthole.

1028
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:58,141
Furthermore,
we agreed to do a film

1029
00:51:58,143 --> 00:51:59,575
that we have no idea
what it should look like...

1030
00:51:59,577 --> 00:52:01,577
or sound like, or even be.

1031
00:52:01,579 --> 00:52:02,678
I mean,
what the hell sort of film

1032
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:04,846
should we even make? Huh?

1033
00:52:04,848 --> 00:52:06,848
I mean, what was I thinking?

1034
00:52:06,850 --> 00:52:07,849
You were thinking
that girl Madison

1035
00:52:07,851 --> 00:52:09,350
had nice titties.

1036
00:52:09,352 --> 00:52:10,551
I mean,
I like the titties too,

1037
00:52:10,553 --> 00:52:12,419
but now you got a problem.

1038
00:52:12,421 --> 00:52:13,686
'Cause I ain't agreed
to do this shit.

1039
00:52:13,688 --> 00:52:14,688
You did.

1040
00:52:16,589 --> 00:52:18,656
Are you not gonna
help me make this?

1041
00:52:18,658 --> 00:52:20,691
The hell we gonna make, son?

1042
00:52:20,693 --> 00:52:23,293
They want fresh inspiration.

1043
00:52:23,295 --> 00:52:24,661
I must tell you,
the richest inspiration

1044
00:52:24,663 --> 00:52:26,763
I have ever known was...

1045
00:52:26,765 --> 00:52:29,265
during my period of
quarantine in the Amazon.

1046
00:52:30,501 --> 00:52:32,300
Where I
and a half dozen other...

1047
00:52:32,302 --> 00:52:34,635
unfortunates
had nothing to watch...

1048
00:52:34,637 --> 00:52:38,538
but the bristling,
leviathan tarantula...

1049
00:52:38,540 --> 00:52:41,707
bunched up on
the rotting, flimsy thatch...

1050
00:52:41,709 --> 00:52:43,589
perhaps eight feet
above our faces.

1051
00:52:44,276 --> 00:52:47,344
Spiders the size of your fist.

1052
00:52:47,346 --> 00:52:49,813
Their fangs glistening
with venom and...

1053
00:52:49,815 --> 00:52:51,614
their thousand-fold
black eyes

1054
00:52:51,616 --> 00:52:53,916
shining dully in the gloom.

1055
00:52:53,918 --> 00:52:55,384
In the darkness,
you would hear

1056
00:52:55,386 --> 00:52:57,386
the sudden anguished hiss...

1057
00:52:57,388 --> 00:53:00,322
of a spider being struck
by an adult leopard wasp...

1058
00:53:00,324 --> 00:53:01,623
and in their
mortal struggle,

1059
00:53:01,625 --> 00:53:02,924
they would plummet
to one's bed...

1060
00:53:02,926 --> 00:53:05,559
biting and stinging
and thrashing...

1061
00:53:07,528 --> 00:53:09,368
You know that you can
smoke a hornet?

1062
00:53:11,264 --> 00:53:13,565
Okay, so just look at me
when you answer the questions.

1063
00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:15,367
Don't worry
about the camera, all right?

1064
00:53:16,501 --> 00:53:18,635
Okay, Denise.

1065
00:53:18,637 --> 00:53:20,918
Tell me a little
about Rachel's birth.

1066
00:53:21,238 --> 00:53:22,705
Uh, Rachel's birth.

1067
00:53:23,473 --> 00:53:24,906
What an ordeal that was.

1068
00:53:27,575 --> 00:53:29,943
Greg, just...
let me tell you one thing.

1069
00:53:31,512 --> 00:53:32,945
I was a really good mom
to her, you know?

1070
00:53:32,947 --> 00:53:35,213
I really was.

1071
00:53:35,215 --> 00:53:37,615
Some single moms,
their kids grow up too fast...

1072
00:53:37,617 --> 00:53:39,383
but I always tried to
protect Rachel from that.

1073
00:53:39,385 --> 00:53:41,705
I did my very best
to protect her from...

1074
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,354
growing up too quickly,
you know?

1075
00:53:46,790 --> 00:53:48,423
Right.

1076
00:53:48,425 --> 00:53:50,291
And now,
I'm learning that there are...

1077
00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:55,261
protect your kid from,
you know?

1078
00:53:56,997 --> 00:53:59,037
No matter what you do,
you just...

1079
00:54:05,837 --> 00:54:09,339
So, did she have
any favorite toys?

1080
00:54:09,341 --> 00:54:11,341
Before I answer that question,
this is serious...

1081
00:54:12,976 --> 00:54:15,377
so use your ears
and listen to me.

1082
00:54:16,712 --> 00:54:18,245
I want you
to promise me something

1083
00:54:18,247 --> 00:54:19,846
as I care about you.

1084
00:54:19,848 --> 00:54:21,514
You gotta promise me you're
not gonna have a baby...

1085
00:54:21,516 --> 00:54:22,715
unless you're ready to love

1086
00:54:22,717 --> 00:54:23,916
that baby's mother
your whole life...

1087
00:54:23,918 --> 00:54:25,550
and this is serious.

1088
00:54:25,552 --> 00:54:28,819
I'm telling you something
that nobody's gonna tell you.

1089
00:54:28,821 --> 00:54:32,322
Don't pick a girl
who's push-pull, you know?

1090
00:54:32,324 --> 00:54:34,804
You wanna pick somebody
who's gonna love you...

1091
00:54:35,559 --> 00:54:38,260
and not forget you,
and not...

1092
00:54:38,262 --> 00:54:40,695
leave you for someone
with a big, fat ass.

1093
00:54:41,563 --> 00:54:43,330
So, no favorite toy.

1094
00:54:43,898 --> 00:54:44,797
Um...

1095
00:54:44,799 --> 00:54:47,966
Oh, you want to know what?
Here's a favorite toy.

1096
00:54:47,968 --> 00:54:49,500
Scissors.

1097
00:54:49,502 --> 00:54:51,502
When Rachel's father
first left...

1098
00:54:51,504 --> 00:54:52,870
she gathered up
all his books,

1099
00:54:52,872 --> 00:54:56,907
and she rounded 'em up
and she cut them right up.

1100
00:54:56,909 --> 00:54:57,941
Please, don't tell her
I'm telling you,

1101
00:54:57,943 --> 00:54:59,642
she would chop my head off.

1102
00:54:59,644 --> 00:55:02,411
But she just...

1103
00:55:02,413 --> 00:55:04,446
And I was, like, "Atta girl."

1104
00:55:04,448 --> 00:55:07,782
Snip, snip, snip.
She was very mad.

1105
00:55:07,784 --> 00:55:10,284
Can we take a little break
and have a little taste?

1106
00:55:10,286 --> 00:55:11,785
You boys are old enough
to have a little taste, right?

1107
00:55:11,787 --> 00:55:13,907
Can we take a teeny break,
just have a little taste?

1108
00:55:15,655 --> 00:55:18,390
Oh, yeah, that's a good boy.

1109
00:55:18,392 --> 00:55:20,992
Greg, will you join us?

1110
00:55:20,994 --> 00:55:22,827
Oh, I'm okay.

1111
00:55:22,829 --> 00:55:25,329
Oh, come on,
don't be a party pooper!

1112
00:55:28,066 --> 00:55:30,333
Now we can get back
to our interview.

1113
00:55:31,568 --> 00:55:32,601
So, basically,
this whole setup

1114
00:55:32,603 --> 00:55:34,002
is so that, you know...

1115
00:55:34,004 --> 00:55:35,870
I can talk to you,
you can talk to me...

1116
00:55:35,872 --> 00:55:38,472
and I can see you,
and you can see me.

1117
00:55:38,474 --> 00:55:39,706
Except it's not really me,
it's a phone.

1118
00:55:39,708 --> 00:55:41,407
And I know that
sounds kind of weird,

1119
00:55:41,409 --> 00:55:43,475
but it's not.

1120
00:55:43,477 --> 00:55:46,010
So, anyway, just treat it
like a get-well card,

1121
00:55:46,012 --> 00:55:47,544
you can look into the lens.

1122
00:55:47,546 --> 00:55:49,379
And, uh...

1123
00:55:49,381 --> 00:55:51,314
Yeah, it's a video,
so you know...

1124
00:55:51,316 --> 00:55:52,381
don't think about it
too hard,

1125
00:55:52,383 --> 00:55:54,316
but just make it good.

1126
00:55:54,318 --> 00:55:55,684
Start whenever you're ready.

1127
00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:57,385
Hi, Rachel.

1128
00:55:57,387 --> 00:55:59,754
I guess I don't really
know you that well...

1129
00:55:59,756 --> 00:56:01,889
but I believe in you.
You can do it.

1130
00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:03,857
That's real nice, yo.

1131
00:56:03,859 --> 00:56:05,692
It's so sweet
that your boyfriend

1132
00:56:05,694 --> 00:56:07,427
is doing this for you.

1133
00:56:07,429 --> 00:56:08,961
He must really love you.

1134
00:56:08,963 --> 00:56:10,796
Girl, that ain't her boyfriend.

1135
00:56:10,798 --> 00:56:12,597
Oh.

1136
00:56:12,599 --> 00:56:14,632
I know you're Jewish,
but I just wanted you to know

1137
00:56:14,634 --> 00:56:16,700
that God has a plan for you.

1138
00:56:16,702 --> 00:56:17,801
You seem like
a really cool person.

1139
00:56:17,803 --> 00:56:19,569
I know we don't really talk.

1140
00:56:19,571 --> 00:56:22,638
But you've got
a lot of friends. And, uh...

1141
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:23,538
Out of all the people
in this school,

1142
00:56:23,540 --> 00:56:25,873
I don't hate you.

1143
00:56:25,875 --> 00:56:27,875
I believe in you
and you can do it.

1144
00:56:28,509 --> 00:56:30,009
You can do it.

1145
00:56:30,011 --> 00:56:31,543
I believe in you.

1146
00:56:32,077 --> 00:56:33,610
You can do it.

1147
00:56:33,612 --> 00:56:34,811
Damn.

1148
00:57:00,099 --> 00:57:01,933
So again,

1149
00:57:01,935 --> 00:57:03,768
if this was a touching,
romantic story...

1150
00:57:03,770 --> 00:57:05,936
we'd obviously fall in love

1151
00:57:05,938 --> 00:57:07,671
and she'd say all the wise,
beautiful things...

1152
00:57:07,673 --> 00:57:10,807
in life's twilight or whatever.

1153
00:57:10,809 --> 00:57:12,675
And then she'd die in my arms.

1154
00:57:18,147 --> 00:57:20,748
But again,
that's not what happened.

1155
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:23,717
She just got quieter.
And unhappier.

1156
00:57:24,885 --> 00:57:26,452
So, how are you?

1157
00:57:27,587 --> 00:57:28,787
For real.

1158
00:57:30,389 --> 00:57:31,589
For real?

1159
00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:35,124
Feeling like
you might have been right.

1160
00:57:38,661 --> 00:57:39,901
Right when?

1161
00:57:41,096 --> 00:57:42,729
Back in October.

1162
00:57:43,831 --> 00:57:45,932
When you thought I was dying.

1163
00:57:52,171 --> 00:57:54,538
Well, I mean,
I regret thinking that.

1164
00:57:56,741 --> 00:57:58,007
Don't regret it.

1165
00:58:18,592 --> 00:58:20,526
What is that noise?

1166
00:58:20,528 --> 00:58:22,126
It's Regretful Polar Bear.

1167
00:58:25,597 --> 00:58:27,130
Polar Bears have
the purest expression

1168
00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:29,572
of regret in the animal kingdom.

1169
00:58:30,634 --> 00:58:33,268
Just listen to how haunting
and plaintive they sound.

1170
00:58:36,739 --> 00:58:39,672
Don't make me laugh.
Please. It kinda hurts.

1171
00:58:41,207 --> 00:58:42,447
All right.

1172
00:58:53,018 --> 00:58:55,458
Kind of a monster
silence in here.

1173
00:58:57,654 --> 00:58:58,654
Yeah.

1174
00:59:01,123 --> 00:59:03,257
It's okay to just be silent
for a while.

1175
00:59:06,127 --> 00:59:08,027
Look,

1176
00:59:08,029 --> 00:59:09,862
I know you're really
bracing for this sweet girl...

1177
00:59:09,864 --> 00:59:12,598
that you probably
like a lot to die.

1178
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,901
Just please bear with me.
She doesn't. She gets better.

1179
00:59:15,903 --> 00:59:17,769
I promise.

1180
00:59:56,941 --> 00:59:59,208
Pretty much all I remember
from that winter...

1181
00:59:59,210 --> 01:00:01,043
is working on
that stupid film...

1182
01:00:01,045 --> 01:00:04,279
that made some kind of sense...

1183
01:00:04,281 --> 01:00:05,947
and knowing the whole time
that I couldn't...

1184
01:00:05,949 --> 01:00:09,250
to make the thing
we wanted to make...

1185
01:00:09,252 --> 01:00:11,252
but it wasn't
possible for us.

1186
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:14,921
That was
an entire winter of my life.

1187
01:00:19,292 --> 01:00:20,792
I mean, obviously,

1188
01:00:20,794 --> 01:00:22,554
I remember visiting Rachel too.

1189
01:00:24,629 --> 01:00:25,895
Sometimes she talked,

1190
01:00:25,897 --> 01:00:27,796
and sometimes,
she didn't want to.

1191
01:00:29,098 --> 01:00:31,132
When she didn't want to,
I talked.

1192
01:00:31,134 --> 01:00:32,800
Or we watched movies.

1193
01:00:33,301 --> 01:00:34,421
Sometimes, she laughed.

1194
01:00:36,136 --> 01:00:37,369
Sometimes, she didn't.

1195
01:00:43,408 --> 01:00:45,976
What I don't remember
is doing schoolwork.

1196
01:00:48,813 --> 01:00:50,973
I did literally zero
schoolwork during this time.

1197
01:00:57,653 --> 01:00:58,653
Not figuratively.

1198
01:00:59,687 --> 01:01:01,988
Literally zero schoolwork.

1199
01:01:06,727 --> 01:01:08,647
That's actually
sort of hard to do.

1200
01:01:28,014 --> 01:01:29,881
So, what's going on at school?

1201
01:01:32,851 --> 01:01:34,985
Well, right now,
the whole school looks like a castle...

1202
01:01:34,987 --> 01:01:36,987
'cause everyone's
getting ready

1203
01:01:36,989 --> 01:01:38,229
for Medieval Prom.

1204
01:01:40,991 --> 01:01:43,792
I guess everyone's trying
to figure out how to, like...

1205
01:01:43,794 --> 01:01:45,034
twerk medievally?

1206
01:01:46,828 --> 01:01:48,161
Are you going?

1207
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:49,395
No, of course not.

1208
01:01:49,397 --> 01:01:51,096
You should go.

1209
01:01:51,098 --> 01:01:52,430
No way!

1210
01:01:53,465 --> 01:01:55,265
Have you seen me in a tux?

1211
01:01:57,234 --> 01:01:59,468
It's like when they make
a dog wear human clothes.

1212
01:01:59,470 --> 01:02:01,136
Have you seen that?

1213
01:02:01,138 --> 01:02:03,438
It just makes you
really sad to look at.

1214
01:02:06,475 --> 01:02:09,076
Oh, and I don't have
anyone to go with.

1215
01:02:09,078 --> 01:02:10,318
So there's that.

1216
01:02:15,415 --> 01:02:17,416
Unless...

1217
01:02:17,418 --> 01:02:19,151
you know...
you wanted to...

1218
01:02:19,153 --> 01:02:21,119
Greg, I'm not going to prom.

1219
01:02:21,121 --> 01:02:23,154
I mean, you totally could.

1220
01:02:23,156 --> 01:02:24,922
It could be like a,
s-, awesome statement.

1221
01:02:25,256 --> 01:02:27,056
Hey, uh...

1222
01:02:27,058 --> 01:02:29,791
When are you guys
finishing your movie?

1223
01:02:33,195 --> 01:02:35,395
You don't know we're working
on a movie right now.

1224
01:02:35,730 --> 01:02:37,363
You don't have to pretend.

1225
01:02:37,365 --> 01:02:39,964
Earl told me you guys
were making a movie for me.

1226
01:02:42,767 --> 01:02:43,933
God, yeah...

1227
01:02:45,335 --> 01:02:46,935
I guess he probably did.

1228
01:02:48,037 --> 01:02:49,203
I was just asking, because...

1229
01:02:49,205 --> 01:02:51,238
Goddamn it, Earl! Ugh.

1230
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,440
It was just, it was
supposed to be a surprise!

1231
01:02:54,341 --> 01:02:56,308
You know? It's taking forever

1232
01:02:56,310 --> 01:02:57,842
because we really want
to get it right, and...

1233
01:02:57,844 --> 01:03:00,477
I'm probably gonna
stop treatment pretty soon.

1234
01:03:05,382 --> 01:03:06,622
What?

1235
01:03:10,886 --> 01:03:12,853
It just isn't
doing me any good.

1236
01:03:12,855 --> 01:03:14,821
All it's doing
is making me sicker.

1237
01:03:23,897 --> 01:03:26,265
Yeah, but it...
I mean, if you stop, then...

1238
01:03:26,267 --> 01:03:28,166
Well, we'll just
see what happens.

1239
01:03:30,136 --> 01:03:32,202
Well, we know
what's gonna happen, right?

1240
01:03:45,012 --> 01:03:46,878
I know who
you can take to prom.

1241
01:03:49,848 --> 01:03:50,968
Who?

1242
01:03:53,384 --> 01:03:55,017
This sexy pillow here.

1243
01:03:55,019 --> 01:03:56,118
Oh, my God, can you just...

1244
01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,019
Ooh, Greg,

1245
01:03:58,021 --> 01:03:59,153
this pillow's name is Francesca.

1246
01:03:59,155 --> 01:04:00,320
Don't joke,
I can't deal with that.

1247
01:04:00,322 --> 01:04:01,354
She's a filthy Italian woman.

1248
01:04:01,356 --> 01:04:02,596
Please, stop!

1249
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:06,024
Don't yell at me.

1250
01:04:06,026 --> 01:04:07,525
So, that's it?
Just, to hell with college,

1251
01:04:07,527 --> 01:04:08,459
to hell with growing up?

1252
01:04:08,461 --> 01:04:10,027
Greg, don't.

1253
01:04:10,029 --> 01:04:11,294
Rachel, what the hell
is wrong with you?

1254
01:04:11,296 --> 01:04:12,862
This is your life!

1255
01:04:14,130 --> 01:04:15,997
Yeah, it is my life.

1256
01:04:17,099 --> 01:04:19,300
It's me who has to
lie in bed all day,

1257
01:04:19,302 --> 01:04:20,501
with a shaved head...

1258
01:04:20,503 --> 01:04:22,503
getting weaker and uglier,

1259
01:04:22,505 --> 01:04:26,173
and more miserable,
with no hope in sight.

1260
01:04:26,175 --> 01:04:27,841
I'm the one who
has to suffer through this,

1261
01:04:27,843 --> 01:04:29,843
not you, so don't yell at me.

1262
01:04:32,479 --> 01:04:34,813
I'm sorry,
but I'm not gonna sit here

1263
01:04:34,815 --> 01:04:37,215
and get comfortable
watching you die.

1264
01:04:38,851 --> 01:04:41,011
Okay? I'm not.
I'm not gonna do that.

1265
01:04:41,286 --> 01:04:43,020
So don't ask me to.

1266
01:04:44,288 --> 01:04:46,155
If you can't accept
that I'm going to do

1267
01:04:46,157 --> 01:04:48,190
what I want to do
with my life...

1268
01:04:49,492 --> 01:04:51,125
then you're
a terrible friend.

1269
01:04:52,961 --> 01:04:54,494
I'm a terrible friend?

1270
01:04:54,496 --> 01:04:55,461
Okay.

1271
01:04:55,463 --> 01:04:58,130
You know,
I'm not the one giving up.

1272
01:04:58,132 --> 01:04:59,431
I'm not ruining
my friend's life

1273
01:04:59,433 --> 01:05:01,132
by giving up
on the whole world.

1274
01:05:01,134 --> 01:05:03,100
Oh, please, Greg,
you should be overjoyed.

1275
01:05:03,102 --> 01:05:04,367
Now you can
go back to your life

1276
01:05:04,369 --> 01:05:06,602
of being invisible
and detached...

1277
01:05:06,604 --> 01:05:08,303
and self-hating.

1278
01:05:11,006 --> 01:05:12,086
Yeah.

1279
01:05:13,541 --> 01:05:15,701
And you can go back
to your life of being dead.

1280
01:05:17,577 --> 01:05:19,444
Nice. Really nice.

1281
01:05:25,617 --> 01:05:27,317
This is gonna kill your mom.

1282
01:05:31,388 --> 01:05:33,588
Have you gotten
comfortable with that?

1283
01:05:37,427 --> 01:05:39,561
That doesn't
bother you anymore?

1284
01:05:39,563 --> 01:05:40,595
Thinking about your mom?

1285
01:05:40,597 --> 01:05:41,963
Get outta here, Greg.

1286
01:05:41,965 --> 01:05:43,631
You've done your time.

1287
01:05:43,633 --> 01:05:45,953
You don't have to hang around
with the sick girl anymore.

1288
01:05:49,404 --> 01:05:51,844
How can you even
say that to me?

1289
01:05:52,506 --> 01:05:55,274
Your mom forced you
to hang out with me.

1290
01:05:55,276 --> 01:05:57,042
Earl forced you
to show me your movies.

1291
01:05:57,044 --> 01:05:59,210
Madison forced you
to make a movie about me.

1292
01:05:59,212 --> 01:06:01,312
So, what part of this
did you actually want to do?

1293
01:06:21,464 --> 01:06:23,765
Just... Just do something
nice for me for once

1294
01:06:23,767 --> 01:06:25,466
and just get out.

1295
01:06:51,258 --> 01:06:53,058
Earl!

1296
01:06:53,060 --> 01:06:55,460
This is it!
You've gone too far!

1297
01:06:55,462 --> 01:06:56,661
You've leaked
the unleakable secret

1298
01:06:56,663 --> 01:06:58,329
because you hold nothing sacred.

1299
01:06:58,331 --> 01:06:59,396
'Cause you're a dickhead!

1300
01:06:59,398 --> 01:07:00,663
The foundation of any

1301
01:07:00,665 --> 01:07:02,498
good working partnership
is trust...

1302
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,266
and I can no longer
trust you in any way.

1303
01:07:04,268 --> 01:07:05,634
You'll leak anything to anyone.

1304
01:07:05,636 --> 01:07:07,202
It's like working
with Julian Assange.

1305
01:07:07,204 --> 01:07:09,137
Assangde. Ass-andge.
Damn it!

1306
01:07:22,651 --> 01:07:24,752
The hell you want?

1307
01:07:24,754 --> 01:07:26,794
Just waiting for Earl.
Awright, awright.

1308
01:07:27,455 --> 01:07:29,322
Whassup, boy?
You gonna come in?

1309
01:07:29,324 --> 01:07:31,557
So, Rachel told me that
you told her about the, uh...

1310
01:07:31,559 --> 01:07:33,679
about the film
that we're making for her.

1311
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,727
You're like Julian Assange, man.

1312
01:07:36,729 --> 01:07:38,361
It's like you always do this...

1313
01:07:38,363 --> 01:07:39,695
I don't know,
'cause you, like,

1314
01:07:39,697 --> 01:07:41,329
wanna be a better friend
than me or something?

1315
01:07:41,331 --> 01:07:42,463
I don't know if I can
work with you again

1316
01:07:42,465 --> 01:07:43,564
after you sell me out
like a dick!

1317
01:07:43,566 --> 01:07:45,632
Oh, okay. Watch out, yo.

1318
01:07:47,067 --> 01:07:49,301
Hey, yo,
shut your ass up, man!

1319
01:07:49,303 --> 01:07:50,602
Like you care so much about
what other people think,

1320
01:07:50,604 --> 01:07:51,736
boy, you go around here...

1321
01:07:51,738 --> 01:07:53,204
kissin' everybody ass,

1322
01:07:53,206 --> 01:07:56,640
Look, nobody
gives a shit about you, Greg!

1323
01:07:56,642 --> 01:07:57,707
All right? Nobody give a shit!

1324
01:07:57,709 --> 01:07:59,408
Whoop his ass!

1325
01:07:59,410 --> 01:08:01,576
And then the one girl
who do actually care about you...

1326
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:02,777
you wanna come
over here and

1327
01:08:02,779 --> 01:08:05,513
bitch and whine
about some films, yo? Huh?

1328
01:08:05,515 --> 01:08:07,815
Because somebody
actually cares about you?

1329
01:08:07,817 --> 01:08:09,383
Like, damn,
I'm so tired of you

1330
01:08:09,385 --> 01:08:11,218
treating this girl
like she a burden.

1331
01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:13,119
You know,
her life is over after this!

1332
01:08:13,121 --> 01:08:14,487
And you want to come over here

1333
01:08:14,489 --> 01:08:17,556
bitchin' and whinin' about
some irrelevant bullshit!

1334
01:08:17,558 --> 01:08:19,424
Like, yo, you so close to me
knocking your shit loose right now, son!

1335
01:08:19,426 --> 01:08:20,792
Go for it!

1336
01:08:20,794 --> 01:08:23,861
Yeah, I don't care!
You want me to hit you now?

1337
01:08:23,863 --> 01:08:25,662
Yeah, Earl, I want you to!

1338
01:08:25,664 --> 01:08:28,064
That's right! Jack that
little dude up there!

1339
01:08:32,834 --> 01:08:34,467
See, Greg?

1340
01:08:34,469 --> 01:08:37,303
You lucky that was him
and not me out there...

1341
01:08:37,305 --> 01:08:39,338
'cause I'd have been
whooping your ass up and down this street.

1342
01:08:39,340 --> 01:08:41,700
It'd have been a ass-whoopin'
fest around here, you dig?

1343
01:08:50,381 --> 01:08:53,282
So what's the status
on the 20-pager on Nixon?

1344
01:08:54,550 --> 01:08:58,185
Uh, I need another extension.

1345
01:08:58,187 --> 01:09:00,287
That might prove difficult...

1346
01:09:00,289 --> 01:09:02,856
seeing how it's the...

1347
01:09:02,858 --> 01:09:04,658
the end of the quarter
and all.

1348
01:09:05,225 --> 01:09:07,792
Yeah, I've just been busy.

1349
01:09:09,895 --> 01:09:11,595
You know, I heard...

1350
01:09:15,299 --> 01:09:16,539
about Rachel.

1351
01:09:17,701 --> 01:09:19,234
How you holding up?

1352
01:09:23,471 --> 01:09:24,711
You know...

1353
01:09:25,773 --> 01:09:27,240
not great.

1354
01:09:32,913 --> 01:09:36,649
You know, my dad died
when I was 15, Greg.

1355
01:09:36,651 --> 01:09:39,351
A couple years
younger than you.

1356
01:09:39,353 --> 01:09:41,853
You know, the thing is that,
when I was a kid...

1357
01:09:42,888 --> 01:09:45,656
I really,
I really can only remember

1358
01:09:45,658 --> 01:09:47,758
thinking about him as this...

1359
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:50,627
you know, big,
kind of like asshole guy.

1360
01:09:52,529 --> 01:09:54,663
At his wake,
these buddies of his

1361
01:09:54,665 --> 01:09:55,930
kept coming up to me...

1362
01:09:55,932 --> 01:09:58,832
and telling me
these stories about him.

1363
01:09:58,834 --> 01:10:00,834
And it was like
they were talking about

1364
01:10:00,836 --> 01:10:02,502
some complete other guy.

1365
01:10:04,238 --> 01:10:05,671
To give you an example.

1366
01:10:06,806 --> 01:10:09,741
He knew every single
European pop song

1367
01:10:09,743 --> 01:10:11,375
from the 1970s.

1368
01:10:13,511 --> 01:10:14,844
He'd memorize these songs,

1369
01:10:14,846 --> 01:10:16,912
and he'd do that
so he could go...

1370
01:10:16,914 --> 01:10:19,447
and sing them
to German girls in bars.

1371
01:10:20,582 --> 01:10:22,249
He had a go-to,

1372
01:10:22,251 --> 01:10:24,384
his number one
go-to song. It was a...

1373
01:10:25,786 --> 01:10:29,521
It was a Dutch song.
It was called Ding-a-Dong.

1374
01:10:31,724 --> 01:10:34,792
My dad used to sing that
to German girls in bars.

1375
01:10:36,261 --> 01:10:37,694
That's a fact.

1376
01:10:41,532 --> 01:10:43,199
So what does that mean?

1377
01:10:46,236 --> 01:10:48,596
Well, Greg, I think that
it just means that...

1378
01:10:49,938 --> 01:10:51,905
even after somebody dies,
you can...

1379
01:10:53,407 --> 01:10:55,527
you can still
keep learning about them.

1380
01:10:56,509 --> 01:10:58,877
You know, their life.

1381
01:11:01,380 --> 01:11:03,881
It can keep unfolding
itself to you just as long...

1382
01:11:05,483 --> 01:11:07,723
just as long as
you pay attention to it.

1383
01:11:08,986 --> 01:11:10,419
Are you seriously
trying to turn this

1384
01:11:10,421 --> 01:11:12,587
into some stupid sappy lesson?

1385
01:11:14,956 --> 01:11:16,656
You're a good kid, Greg.

1386
01:11:16,658 --> 01:11:18,858
No! Look, I'm going home.

1387
01:11:20,861 --> 01:11:23,395
See, I'm cutting class
right in front of you. 'Kay?

1388
01:11:23,397 --> 01:11:25,730
I'm not a good kid. I'm not.

1389
01:11:42,914 --> 01:11:43,914
Okay.

1390
01:11:45,015 --> 01:11:47,282
Earl came by earlier
to drop something off...

1391
01:11:47,284 --> 01:11:49,384
but he turned down
this superb

1392
01:11:49,386 --> 01:11:51,552
Andouille rabbit sausage...

1393
01:11:51,554 --> 01:11:53,287
which is quite unlike him.

1394
01:11:54,522 --> 01:11:55,822
Is everything all right?

1395
01:11:57,424 --> 01:11:58,524
Buddy?

1396
01:12:17,609 --> 01:12:18,842
We tried
a lot of different ways

1397
01:12:18,844 --> 01:12:20,877
of making a film for you...

1398
01:12:20,879 --> 01:12:23,613
but they were all
too goofy or irrelevant...

1399
01:12:23,615 --> 01:12:25,581
or just not what we wanted.

1400
01:12:25,583 --> 01:12:27,649
So, now I'm gonna
talk to you directly.

1401
01:12:28,517 --> 01:12:30,317
Um...

1402
01:12:30,319 --> 01:12:32,719
All right, I'm gonna be
honest here. Okay?

1403
01:12:32,721 --> 01:12:35,054
Sometimes, white girls
are particularly stupid.

1404
01:12:35,056 --> 01:12:39,525
I mean, everybody's stupid,
but white girls, you know...

1405
01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:41,293
They think
they better than everybody

1406
01:12:41,295 --> 01:12:43,295
and self-centered
and pretend they not.

1407
01:12:43,297 --> 01:12:45,630
But...

1408
01:12:45,632 --> 01:12:47,552
you aren't like that,
you know. Um...

1409
01:12:48,366 --> 01:12:50,467
It's just crazy
how patient you've been.

1410
01:12:50,469 --> 01:12:52,669
You know, I know if it was me
that had cancer, uh...

1411
01:12:53,803 --> 01:12:56,504
I'd be upset and angry

1412
01:12:56,506 --> 01:12:59,540
and trying to beat
everybody's ass half the time.

1413
01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:02,643
So I'm just, I'm just amazed
at how patient you've been.

1414
01:13:05,313 --> 01:13:07,080
You, you make me feel blessed.

1415
01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:20,792
By Michael Powell
and Emeric Pressburger.

1416
01:13:22,495 --> 01:13:23,894
I think, ultimately,
what one has to understand

1417
01:13:23,896 --> 01:13:25,629
watching this film...

1418
01:13:25,631 --> 01:13:27,964
it's a very special
piece of filmmaking.

1419
01:13:27,966 --> 01:13:29,899
Oh.

1420
01:13:29,901 --> 01:13:31,533
Are you eating lunch
in here still?

1421
01:13:32,702 --> 01:13:34,969
Not if you are.

1422
01:13:34,971 --> 01:13:37,011
Well, I'm not eating
lunch in here if you are.

1423
01:13:37,739 --> 01:13:40,607
Good,
'cause I like it in here.

1424
01:13:40,609 --> 01:13:42,542
So I guess I could just go.

1425
01:13:43,610 --> 01:13:44,610
Or you could go.

1426
01:13:45,578 --> 01:13:48,179
No, I like
the air-conditioner.

1427
01:13:48,181 --> 01:13:50,181
And I like
the comfortable chair.

1428
01:13:53,885 --> 01:13:55,952
Yeah, I like those too.

1429
01:13:57,087 --> 01:13:59,188
Sounds like your damn problem.

1430
01:14:01,658 --> 01:14:03,959
Which showed
one film per week...

1431
01:14:03,961 --> 01:14:06,127
twice a night,
and three times on Saturday.

1432
01:14:07,195 --> 01:14:09,062
In a way,
Tales of Hoffmann is...

1433
01:14:09,064 --> 01:14:13,466
the culmination of
Powell-Pressburger's work...

1434
01:14:13,468 --> 01:14:15,668
with what they call
the composed film.

1435
01:14:36,955 --> 01:14:38,822
Hey!

1436
01:14:38,824 --> 01:14:40,144
Can I talk to you
about the movie?

1437
01:14:40,557 --> 01:14:41,823
Um...

1438
01:14:41,825 --> 01:14:43,791
Yeah, it's not done yet.

1439
01:14:43,793 --> 01:14:44,858
Greg, you guys
have been working on it

1440
01:14:44,860 --> 01:14:46,025
for like four months.

1441
01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:49,661
Yeah, well...

1442
01:14:49,663 --> 01:14:50,595
I don't know,
we tried a bunch of stuff

1443
01:14:50,597 --> 01:14:52,163
and it just...

1444
01:14:52,864 --> 01:14:54,097
didn't really work.

1445
01:14:54,099 --> 01:14:54,997
It's not that good.

1446
01:14:54,999 --> 01:14:56,698
Greg!

1447
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:59,133
Now is not the time for your
"I'm Greg, I suck,

1448
01:14:59,135 --> 01:15:00,801
"nothing I do
is any good" thing.

1449
01:15:00,803 --> 01:15:02,102
I'm sure what you have
is awesome

1450
01:15:02,104 --> 01:15:04,137
and I think she would
really benefit...

1451
01:15:04,139 --> 01:15:06,179
if you just got it done
and gave it to her.

1452
01:15:07,206 --> 01:15:08,905
Madison,
she stopped treatment.

1453
01:15:12,109 --> 01:15:13,309
She gave up.

1454
01:15:15,278 --> 01:15:16,778
She quit.

1455
01:15:19,181 --> 01:15:20,714
Well, I guess
that's a really good reason

1456
01:15:20,716 --> 01:15:21,981
to just finish
the fucking movie.

1457
01:15:21,983 --> 01:15:23,182
And give it to her.

1458
01:15:25,585 --> 01:15:26,751
But whatever.

1459
01:15:39,765 --> 01:15:40,998
Honey?

1460
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:43,833
What?

1461
01:15:49,872 --> 01:15:51,772
Rachel's back
in the hospital, honey.

1462
01:15:56,244 --> 01:15:58,525
Wait, is she starting
treatment again?

1463
01:16:00,847 --> 01:16:02,714
It's not for treatment, honey.

1464
01:16:07,819 --> 01:16:08,819
Oh.

1465
01:16:12,623 --> 01:16:13,923
Mom, what?

1466
01:16:15,058 --> 01:16:16,625
Well, I thought
we could go and...

1467
01:16:16,627 --> 01:16:19,327
To force me
to hang out with her?

1468
01:16:19,329 --> 01:16:20,828
Greg, come on.

1469
01:16:20,830 --> 01:16:22,029
Don't worry, Mom,
I'm sure you can find

1470
01:16:22,031 --> 01:16:24,191
another girl with cancer
after Rachel dies.

1471
01:16:25,566 --> 01:16:27,099
Which, by the way...

1472
01:16:27,767 --> 01:16:29,234
she's decided to do.

1473
01:16:31,770 --> 01:16:34,271
She's just decided to die...

1474
01:16:34,273 --> 01:16:36,940
so maybe I can decide
not to visit her.

1475
01:16:42,612 --> 01:16:45,580
I promise you,
you will regret that...

1476
01:16:45,582 --> 01:16:46,662
if you don't visit her.

1477
01:16:47,984 --> 01:16:49,783
You'll regret it
for the rest of your life.

1478
01:16:49,785 --> 01:16:51,584
Mom, that's probably true.

1479
01:16:51,586 --> 01:16:52,818
But honestly,
I have a shitload of things

1480
01:16:52,820 --> 01:16:54,820
to regret right now.

1481
01:16:54,822 --> 01:16:57,088
I regret not having a date
for tomorrow's stupid prom.

1482
01:16:57,090 --> 01:16:59,824
I regret being too weird
to make friends.

1483
01:16:59,826 --> 01:17:00,991
I definitely regret making

1484
01:17:00,993 --> 01:17:02,659
all those shitty films
with Earl.

1485
01:17:02,661 --> 01:17:04,861
And I assume you saw the email
I got today, from Pitt?

1486
01:17:06,062 --> 01:17:07,762
Oh, no? You didn't see it

1487
01:17:07,764 --> 01:17:08,929
while you're going though
all my shit? Here.

1488
01:17:09,230 --> 01:17:11,164
Have a look.

1489
01:17:11,166 --> 01:17:12,665
I'm definitely gonna regret

1490
01:17:12,667 --> 01:17:14,347
doing literally
no school work this year!

1491
01:17:14,634 --> 01:17:15,934
Oh, my God, Greg.

1492
01:17:15,936 --> 01:17:17,969
I know. Admission rescinded,

1493
01:17:17,971 --> 01:17:20,071
due to significant change
in my academic record.

1494
01:17:20,073 --> 01:17:21,939
Oh, well,
no college next year.

1495
01:17:21,941 --> 01:17:23,874
I guess I'll just be home,
which sucks for you...

1496
01:17:23,876 --> 01:17:24,841
because it's gonna be
so hard for you

1497
01:17:24,843 --> 01:17:26,642
to go through all my stuff.

1498
01:17:26,644 --> 01:17:28,110
Can you just do me a favor
right now, Mom?

1499
01:17:28,112 --> 01:17:29,778
Just leave me alone. Okay?

1500
01:17:29,780 --> 01:17:31,379
Just let me sit here
and regret stuff.

1501
01:17:31,381 --> 01:17:32,747
I'm just gonna think about

1502
01:17:32,749 --> 01:17:33,848
all the things
that I've ever done...

1503
01:17:33,850 --> 01:17:35,282
and all the things
I haven't done

1504
01:17:35,284 --> 01:17:37,724
and just regret the living shit out of it.
Okay?

1505
01:17:42,823 --> 01:17:44,990
All the deadlines
have passed, Victor.

1506
01:17:44,992 --> 01:17:46,257
What's he gonna do next year?

1507
01:17:46,259 --> 01:17:47,725
He's just gonna
waste the year?

1508
01:17:47,727 --> 01:17:49,026
He is grieving, honey.

1509
01:17:49,028 --> 01:17:50,327
You have to let him grieve.

1510
01:17:50,329 --> 01:17:51,328
But I can't just sit by

1511
01:17:51,330 --> 01:17:53,063
and just let him
ruin his life.

1512
01:17:53,065 --> 01:17:56,266
The universe does not operate

1513
01:17:56,268 --> 01:17:57,988
according to a college deadline!

1514
01:18:17,153 --> 01:18:18,253
Can I ask you something?

1515
01:18:19,755 --> 01:18:21,122
Nope.

1516
01:18:21,124 --> 01:18:22,756
No. It's not what you think.

1517
01:18:22,758 --> 01:18:23,990
It's just that
prom is tonight and...

1518
01:18:23,992 --> 01:18:26,125
Let me ask you something.
What is this?

1519
01:18:27,093 --> 01:18:28,993
What is up
with the arm touching?

1520
01:18:28,995 --> 01:18:30,194
Are you just being friendly,

1521
01:18:30,196 --> 01:18:31,662
or is this some
calculated maneuver...

1522
01:18:31,664 --> 01:18:33,063
to get me to do
whatever you want?

1523
01:18:33,065 --> 01:18:34,297
'Cause you have to understand

1524
01:18:34,299 --> 01:18:36,065
what it does
when a beautiful, sexy...

1525
01:18:36,067 --> 01:18:37,266
otherwise
thoughtful girl...

1526
01:18:37,268 --> 01:18:39,167
touches the arm
of a scrawny, pasty

1527
01:18:39,169 --> 01:18:40,334
groundhog-faced kid.

1528
01:18:40,336 --> 01:18:41,435
It's an act of cruelty.

1529
01:18:42,437 --> 01:18:43,937
Are you done?

1530
01:18:43,939 --> 01:18:45,138
Yeah. Yeah, I'm done.

1531
01:18:45,140 --> 01:18:46,873
I'm done with you.

1532
01:18:46,875 --> 01:18:49,075
I'm done
with this stupid film.

1533
01:18:49,077 --> 01:18:50,443
All right? I'm done.

1534
01:18:52,045 --> 01:18:53,745
Yo! But you ain't
done with me!

1535
01:18:53,747 --> 01:18:55,079
I'm back for my revenge

1536
01:18:55,081 --> 01:18:56,346
Stab you in the dick

1537
01:18:56,348 --> 01:18:58,081
Pardon my French

1538
01:18:58,083 --> 01:19:00,416
Really? You're gonna stab me
in the dick? Go ahead.

1539
01:19:00,418 --> 01:19:01,784
Stab me in the dick.

1540
01:19:01,786 --> 01:19:04,453
Just no rapping.
Okay? All right?

1541
01:19:04,455 --> 01:19:05,987
I'll break your eyeball

1542
01:19:05,989 --> 01:19:07,154
with a fist I got clenched

1543
01:19:07,156 --> 01:19:08,955
Shove your body
under another bench

1544
01:19:08,957 --> 01:19:10,756
Stop rapping!

1545
01:19:10,758 --> 01:19:12,758
Knock your teeth out
with the fist I got clenched

1546
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:15,000
I can't do this if you're
gonna rap the whole time.

1547
01:19:31,874 --> 01:19:33,007
Aw!

1548
01:19:35,844 --> 01:19:36,944
Break it up!

1549
01:19:36,946 --> 01:19:38,278
Earl!

1550
01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:40,880
Break it up! Break it up!

1551
01:19:40,882 --> 01:19:41,881
I thought you were
eating lunch

1552
01:19:41,883 --> 01:19:43,048
in Mr. McCarthy's office.

1553
01:19:43,050 --> 01:19:44,282
Man, I was,
but he all sad talking

1554
01:19:44,284 --> 01:19:45,416
about German music and shit.

1555
01:19:45,418 --> 01:19:47,718
That's boring as hell, man.

1556
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:50,253
I'm surprised and disappointed
to see you two fighting.

1557
01:19:50,255 --> 01:19:51,988
And, Phillip,
I'm surprised and disappointed

1558
01:19:51,990 --> 01:19:53,289
to see you
back on school grounds...

1559
01:19:53,291 --> 01:19:54,923
after being expelled!

1560
01:19:54,925 --> 01:19:56,190
All right, man.

1561
01:19:56,192 --> 01:19:57,024
Please leave the premises.

1562
01:19:57,026 --> 01:19:58,358
Back to class.

1563
01:19:58,360 --> 01:19:59,892
Let's go!

1564
01:19:59,894 --> 01:20:02,027
Maxwell, Ryan, Soledad,

1565
01:20:02,029 --> 01:20:04,295
stop gawking and start walking!

1566
01:20:09,166 --> 01:20:10,933
Greg!

1567
01:20:10,935 --> 01:20:13,268
Yo, babe!
You see me pummel this bitch?

1568
01:20:13,270 --> 01:20:14,502
Come on and keep walking

1569
01:20:14,504 --> 01:20:16,204
'fore I can whoop
that ass again, man.

1570
01:20:16,206 --> 01:20:17,538
Madison, what?

1571
01:20:18,606 --> 01:20:20,073
Come to prom with me.

1572
01:20:22,509 --> 01:20:24,142
I know the whole
movie situation

1573
01:20:24,144 --> 01:20:25,943
was really difficult for you...

1574
01:20:25,945 --> 01:20:28,025
and I kind of feel like
it was my fault.

1575
01:20:28,579 --> 01:20:29,979
So I just kind of wanted to

1576
01:20:29,981 --> 01:20:32,301
make it up to you
a little bit.

1577
01:20:33,549 --> 01:20:35,349
Is this a pity date?

1578
01:20:35,351 --> 01:20:36,616
No.

1579
01:20:36,618 --> 01:20:38,150
No, it's not a pity date.

1580
01:20:40,119 --> 01:20:41,319
Greg, just come
to prom with me.

1581
01:20:41,321 --> 01:20:42,561
I think we'd have a good time.

1582
01:20:45,557 --> 01:20:47,457
Told you you would get a date.

1583
01:20:48,325 --> 01:20:49,325
Yep.

1584
01:20:55,164 --> 01:20:57,999
So you're welcome.
For the tux and everything.

1585
01:20:59,267 --> 01:21:00,433
Thanks, Mom.

1586
01:21:15,882 --> 01:21:18,483
I'm very upset
about this college thing.

1587
01:21:20,352 --> 01:21:21,985
But your father and I can wait

1588
01:21:21,987 --> 01:21:24,467
till you're ready
to talk about it.

1589
01:21:25,889 --> 01:21:27,155
I appreciate that.

1590
01:21:30,192 --> 01:21:31,992
Don't forget your corsage.

1591
01:21:35,096 --> 01:21:36,096
All right.

1592
01:21:41,935 --> 01:21:44,269
My handsome boy...

1593
01:21:44,271 --> 01:21:45,903
going to prom.

1594
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:50,641
Take lots of pictures, okay?

1595
01:22:09,526 --> 01:22:10,591
302 Halket Street.

1596
01:22:11,125 --> 01:22:12,558
What's that?

1597
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:14,092
I said 302 Halket Street.

1598
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:16,193
Huh?

1599
01:22:16,195 --> 01:22:17,594
302 Halket Street.

1600
01:22:17,596 --> 01:22:19,462
Halket? Okay.
Okay.

1601
01:22:19,464 --> 01:22:21,130
You got it, baby.

1602
01:22:21,132 --> 01:22:22,598
So you love this girl?

1603
01:22:24,334 --> 01:22:26,234
Uh, no.
I wouldn't go that far.

1604
01:22:26,501 --> 01:22:27,934
What?

1605
01:22:27,936 --> 01:22:29,969
No. I... No.

1606
01:22:29,971 --> 01:22:31,036
Yeah, so you guys
are gonna be getting busy

1607
01:22:31,038 --> 01:22:32,971
on my brand new Tuscan leather?

1608
01:22:32,973 --> 01:22:35,006
No. I think...
Huh?

1609
01:22:35,008 --> 01:22:36,607
No, we're not.
I don't think so.

1610
01:22:36,609 --> 01:22:38,542
Nah, I'm just
playing with you.

1611
01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:40,544
But I do hope you get some.

1612
01:22:40,546 --> 01:22:42,479
It's really gonna depend
on what she wants to do.

1613
01:22:42,481 --> 01:22:43,480
If you really love her,
though,

1614
01:22:43,482 --> 01:22:45,048
you definitely got a shot.

1615
01:22:45,050 --> 01:22:46,416
Because she'll know.

1616
01:22:47,384 --> 01:22:48,984
She is fine though?

1617
01:22:50,519 --> 01:22:51,519
Huh?

1618
01:23:54,347 --> 01:23:55,447
Hey.

1619
01:23:59,385 --> 01:24:00,651
I know, I look amazing.

1620
01:24:05,589 --> 01:24:07,323
Can I put some flowers on you?

1621
01:24:22,471 --> 01:24:24,071
Like that.

1622
01:24:32,046 --> 01:24:33,206
Okay.

1623
01:24:34,147 --> 01:24:36,815
Before we watch this...

1624
01:24:36,817 --> 01:24:39,117
I'm sorry
it took so long to make.

1625
01:24:39,119 --> 01:24:41,619
But the reason is...

1626
01:24:41,621 --> 01:24:44,388
just couldn't figure out
how to get it to not suck.

1627
01:24:45,757 --> 01:24:48,825
But... we never really
did figure it out.

1628
01:24:48,827 --> 01:24:50,259
It still sucks.

1629
01:24:55,097 --> 01:24:57,131
It's not exactly
what I wanted to say to you.

1630
01:25:03,737 --> 01:25:04,737
But...

1631
01:25:06,239 --> 01:25:08,106
whatever.

1632
01:25:08,108 --> 01:25:10,068
Let's just
watch this first, okay?

1633
01:28:23,532 --> 01:28:24,999
Hey, should I get a nurse?

1634
01:28:27,002 --> 01:28:29,003
Denise! Denise!

1635
01:29:41,509 --> 01:29:43,510
That was the last time
I saw Rachel.

1636
01:29:44,812 --> 01:29:47,046
She went into a coma
shortly after that,

1637
01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:48,514
and died about 10 hours later.

1638
01:29:51,784 --> 01:29:53,744
I know I told you
she doesn't die.

1639
01:29:54,419 --> 01:29:55,685
And I'm sorry.

1640
01:29:56,420 --> 01:29:58,120
Deep down...

1641
01:29:58,122 --> 01:30:00,689
somehow,
I didn't think she would.

1642
01:30:02,458 --> 01:30:03,724
But she did.

1643
01:33:30,293 --> 01:33:32,227
Dear Greg,
I heard what happened

1644
01:33:32,229 --> 01:33:33,695
with your class work.

1645
01:33:33,697 --> 01:33:35,029
And with Pitt State.

1646
01:33:35,930 --> 01:33:37,897
So, I wrote them a letter,

1647
01:33:37,899 --> 01:33:39,979
trying to convince them
to let you back in.

1648
01:33:40,833 --> 01:33:43,968
There's a copy in here,
if you want to read it.

1649
01:33:43,970 --> 01:33:45,769
Hopefully, it works,
because that would mean...

1650
01:33:45,771 --> 01:33:48,705
I have powers
from beyond the grave.

1651
01:33:48,707 --> 01:33:50,988
But you should probably
send them something too.

1652
01:33:52,609 --> 01:33:55,911
Goodbye, Greg.
You're a good friend.

1653
01:33:55,913 --> 01:33:57,012
Although if you don't
go to college,

1654
01:33:57,014 --> 01:33:58,646
you're also an idiot.

1655
01:33:58,648 --> 01:34:00,180
But you already knew that.

1656
01:34:01,182 --> 01:34:02,315
Love, Rachel.

1657
01:34:04,818 --> 01:34:08,187
I'd also like for you
to take some of my pillows.

1658
01:34:08,189 --> 01:34:10,889
They'll want a good home
where they'll be loved.

1659
01:34:10,891 --> 01:34:12,857
Not in the way you're thinking,

1660
01:34:12,859 --> 01:34:13,899
that's disgusting.

1661
01:37:49,137 --> 01:37:51,371
Dear Pittsburgh
State Admissions:

1662
01:37:51,373 --> 01:37:53,072
I'm writing
on behalf of someone

1663
01:37:53,074 --> 01:37:54,840
who gave me
half a year of his life...

1664
01:37:54,842 --> 01:37:56,107
at the time when I was at

1665
01:37:56,109 --> 01:37:58,342
my most difficult to be around.

1666
01:37:58,344 --> 01:38:00,477
He has a very
low opinion of himself,

1667
01:38:00,479 --> 01:38:01,544
which is why
I think it's necessary...

1668
01:38:01,546 --> 01:38:03,012
that you hear from someone

1669
01:38:03,014 --> 01:38:05,114
who sees him
as he actually is:

1670
01:38:05,116 --> 01:38:07,382
A limitlessly kind,
sweet, giving,

1671
01:38:07,384 --> 01:38:09,417
and genuine person.

1672
01:38:09,419 --> 01:38:11,459
No matter how much
he would deny it.

1673
01:38:12,286 --> 01:38:14,520
The drop in his academic
performance this year...

1674
01:38:14,522 --> 01:38:15,521
is the consequence
of all the time

1675
01:38:15,523 --> 01:38:19,424
and the time he spent
making things for me...

1676
01:38:19,426 --> 01:38:21,559
and how hard
that was for him.

1677
01:38:21,561 --> 01:38:23,527
You can ask him about it...

1678
01:38:23,529 --> 01:38:25,562
but his sort of
over-the-top humility

1679
01:38:25,564 --> 01:38:27,130
will probably get in the way.

1680
01:38:27,132 --> 01:38:31,467
No one has done more
to make me smile than he has.

1681
01:38:31,469 --> 01:38:33,035
And no one ever could.

1682
01:38:51,220 --> 01:38:52,453
Rachel's ashes were scattered

1683
01:38:52,455 --> 01:38:54,221
in a park behind her house.

1684
01:38:55,357 --> 01:38:57,091
Apparently, she ran away
from home once

1685
01:38:57,093 --> 01:38:58,525
and tried to live there.

1686
01:39:00,394 --> 01:39:03,362
It was this story
her aunt told at the funeral.

1687
01:39:03,364 --> 01:39:05,297
She was trying
to become a squirrel.

1688
01:39:06,399 --> 01:39:07,565
She thought she could
turn into one

1689
01:39:07,567 --> 01:39:09,166
just by being in the forest...

1690
01:39:09,168 --> 01:39:12,302
and wanting it really bad.

1691
01:39:12,304 --> 01:39:15,405
I guess maybe that's
what Mr. McCarthy meant...

1692
01:39:15,407 --> 01:39:18,007
about someone's life
continuing to unfold.

1693
01:39:19,442 --> 01:39:21,042
It was weird to be
learning something new

1694
01:39:21,044 --> 01:39:22,576
about Rachel after she died.

1695
01:39:24,178 --> 01:39:26,445
But somehow,
it was reassuring as well.