1 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,595 What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? 2 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,181 Whatever I feel like I want to do. Gosh! 3 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,030 Your current event, Napoleon. 4 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,755 Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced"— 5 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:43,467 placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness... 6 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,594 to blow Nessie out of the water. 7 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,729 Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance... 8 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,231 summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards... 9 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:01,861 to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents... 10 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:07,033 and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally. 11 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:28,846 Yes. Yes. 12 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,351 Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do all last summer again? 13 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:38,272 I told you. I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines. 14 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,484 - Did you shoot any? - Yes, like 50 of'em. 15 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:45,529 They kept tryin' to attack my cousins. What the heck would you do in a situation like that? 16 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,409 - What kind of gun did you use? - A frickin' 12-gauge. What do you think? 17 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:53,037 You think you're funny? You just watch your step. 18 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,498 But I didn't— 19 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,132 Hey, could I use your guys's phone for a sec? 20 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,594 - Is there anything wrong? - I don't feel very good. 21 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,954 - Hi. - Is Grandma there? 22 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,331 No, she's getting her hair done. 23 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,255 What do you need? Can you just go get her for me? 24 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,633 - I'm really busy right now. - Well, just tell her to come get me. 25 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,719 Why? 'Cause I don't feel good. 26 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:54,557 Well, have you talked to the school nurse? No, she doesn't know anything. 27 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,685 - Will you just come get me? - No. 28 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,687 Well, will you do me a favor then? 29 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,565 What? Can you bring me my Chap Stick? 30 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:05,276 No, Napoleon. But my lips hurt real bad. 31 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,113 Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer. 32 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,699 I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko. 33 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,701 See ya. 34 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,745 Idiot! 35 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,999 David Dempke, please come to the office. 36 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,125 David Dempke, please come to the office. 37 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,128 David Dempke. You do understand English? 38 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:27,882 This isn't that complex. Look, the cafeteria's down the hall, 39 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,009 to the right and downstairs. 40 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,470 Hey, is that a new kid or something? 41 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,472 Napoleon, this is Pedro. 42 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,725 Would you mind showing him where his locker is? 43 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,768 Sure. Come on. 44 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:48,027 You know, there's, like, a buttload of gangs at this school. 45 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:52,156 This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff. 46 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,244 Do you ride the bus to school? 47 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,246 No. I ride my bike. 48 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:02,416 - What kind of bike do you have? - It's a Sledgehammer. 49 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,627 Dang! 50 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,587 You got shocks, pegs. 51 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,380 Lucky! 52 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,969 You ever take it off any sweet jumps? 53 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,519 You got, like, three feet of air that time. 54 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,690 Can I try it really quick? 55 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,990 Taint! 56 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,409 I love the way... 57 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,536 your sandy hair... 58 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,206 floats in the air. 59 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,917 To me it's like a lullaby. 60 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,963 I'm just flying by, oh, so high, 61 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,882 like a kite tied to a stake. 62 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,597 How was school? 63 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:01,183 The worst day of my life. What do you think? 64 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,561 - Well, I want you to go see if Tina wants some of this. 65 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,609 Kip hasn't done flipping anything today. 66 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,320 Look, tonight me and your- Kip, listen! 67 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:17,408 - What? - Tonight me and your aunt are gonna go visit some friends, 68 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,410 and we're not gonna be back till tomorrow. 69 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:23,289 We're gettin' low on steak, so I got Lyle comin' over tomorrow to take care of it. 70 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,208 - Well, what's there to eat? - Knock it off, Napoleon. 71 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,252 Make yourself a dang quesadilla! 72 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,421 Fine! 73 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,464 I'll be back tomorrow. 74 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,307 Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip! 75 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:46,603 Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. 76 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:50,107 Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter. 77 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,860 Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. 78 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:55,112 - Try and hit me, Napoleon. - What? 79 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,157 I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me. 80 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,495 Such an idiot. 81 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,748 Let me see what your best move is. 82 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,717 I'll go get it. 83 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,802 Geez! 84 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,603 Um, hello. 85 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,481 Would you like to look like this? 86 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,778 This is a girl. 87 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,531 Because for a limited time only... 88 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,034 glamour shots by Deb are 75% off. 89 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,661 I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral. 90 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:50,250 Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts. 91 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,836 I'm Rex, 92 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,089 founder of the Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense System. 93 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:59,051 After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself... 94 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,261 with the strength of a grizzly, 95 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:05,516 The reflexes of a puma... 96 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,851 and the wisdom of a man. 97 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,189 Come down today for your free trial lesson! 98 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,779 In here we have some boondoggle key chains. 99 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,615 A must-have for this season's fashion. 100 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,451 I already made, like, infinity of those at Scout camp. 101 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,578 Well, is anyone else here? 102 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,914 I'm trying to earn money for college. 103 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,500 Your mom goes to college. 104 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,420 Let's bring in that— 105 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,943 Tina, you fat lard. Come get some dinner. 106 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,284 Tina, eat. Eat the food. 107 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,454 Eat the food! 108 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,890 It'd be nice if you could pull me into town. 109 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,573 My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program, 110 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,617 you will learn a system of self-defense... 111 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,495 that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. 112 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:52,581 It's called Rex Kwon Do! 113 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,542 I need a volunteer. 114 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:58,003 Okay, you'll do. Come up here. 115 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,882 Bow to your sensei. Bow to your sensei! 116 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,884 Okay. 117 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,012 Now, I'm gonna give you one chance. 118 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,765 One chance, people. Give me your best shot. 119 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,355 All right. That was pretty good. Okay. 120 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,398 Now, watch this, everybody. 121 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,651 Grab my arm. The other arm. 122 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,694 My other arm. 123 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,531 Now watch this. I'm just gonna break the wrist and walk away. 124 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,491 Break the wrist, walk away. 125 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,701 Geez! Okay. 126 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,538 It's just that simple. Now, I want you to kick me. 127 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,706 Come on. Kick me. 128 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,751 Okay, do it again. 129 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,878 Do it again. 130 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,881 Ouch. Okay. You'll block it every time. 131 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,551 Have a seat. 132 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,928 Now, in addition to what you just saw, 133 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,765 if you study with my eight-week program, you're gonna learn these things. 134 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,809 First off, 135 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,811 Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. 136 00:14:55,895 --> 00:15:00,399 No more flyin' solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times! 137 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,735 Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. 138 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,821 Do you think I got where I am today... 139 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,656 because I dress like Peter Pan here? 140 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,118 Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. 141 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,662 Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face... 142 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,540 while I'm wearin' these bad boys? 143 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,751 Forget about it. Last off, 144 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:23,922 my students will learn about self-respect. 145 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:28,427 Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? 146 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,013 Forget about it! 147 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:34,057 Now, for only $300, you can sign up right now... 148 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,393 for my eight-week program. 149 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,153 Well, that place was a rip-off. 150 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,715 Hey, Lyle. 151 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,896 Nothin' on here works smooth. 152 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,146 So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right? 153 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,148 Yes. 154 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,483 So, you got my back and everything? 155 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,026 What? 156 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,489 Never mind. 157 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,160 - Have you heard about the dance? - Yes. 158 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,662 Have you met anyone to ask yet? 159 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,332 No. But I probably will after school. 160 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,668 Who you gonna ask? 161 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,796 That girl over there. 162 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:14,509 - She braided my hair one time— - Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that? 163 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,262 Build her a cake or something. 164 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,891 Yeah, my old girlfriend from Oklahoma... 165 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,934 was gonna fly out here for the dance, 166 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,729 but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now. 167 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,356 Is she hot? 168 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,363 See for yourself. 169 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:43,371 Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year. 170 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:47,083 I like her bangs. Me too. 171 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,801 How long did it take you to grow that mustache? 172 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,886 A couple of days. 173 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,263 I wish I could grow one. 174 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,687 Are you gonna eat your Tots? 175 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,565 No. 176 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,942 Can I have 'em? 177 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,140 You see that girl over there? 178 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,935 She came over to my house the other day. 179 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,020 Why? I don't know, 180 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,773 but she left all this crap on my porch. 181 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,694 She's pretty good-looking. 182 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,863 Do you dare me to go talk to her? 183 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,156 Sure. 184 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:16,047 I see you're drinking one-percent. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 185 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,887 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. 186 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:27,642 Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. 187 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,980 You should probably come get it 'cause I can't fit my nunchakus in there anymore. 188 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,358 Where's your locker? 189 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,828 Hey, can I have one of your key chains? 190 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:42,133 Hello? 191 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,746 Napoleon, give me some of your Tots. 192 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,874 - No, go find your own. - Come on. Give me some of your Tots. 193 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:18,086 No. I'm freakin' starved. I didn't get to eat anything today. 194 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,672 G— 195 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,174 Gross. 196 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,344 Freakin' idiot! 197 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,353 Tina, come get some ham. 198 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,216 What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? 199 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:09,012 Your grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today, broke her coccyx. 200 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:12,015 What? Since when does she go to the dunes? 201 00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:20,690 Looks like there's a lot you don't know about her. 202 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,289 So, when's Grandma coming back? I don't know. 203 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:40,502 - Not sure. - You don't have to stay here with us. We're not babies. 204 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:44,047 Talk to your Auntie Caroline. 205 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,841 Well, Kip is, like, 32 years old. 206 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,843 I don't mind if you stay. 207 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,179 Oh. Thanks, Kip. 208 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,308 What the flip was Grandma doin' at the sand dunes? 209 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:58,937 She was on a date... with her boyfriend. 210 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:01,231 Boyfriend? 211 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:05,527 Hey, you guys want to see my video? 212 00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,594 So, what do you think? 213 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,806 It's pretty cool, I guess. 214 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,142 Man, I wish I could go back in time. 215 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:39,477 I'd take state. 216 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:41,896 This is pretty much the worst video ever made. 217 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,066 Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. 218 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:48,319 You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. 219 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:50,363 You guys are retarded. 220 00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,490 Hah! 221 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,909 Hey, check that out. 222 00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,301 So, you and Tammy still together? 223 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:14,596 No. Not really. 224 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,183 - Why is that? - Well, 225 00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,811 she's jealous. 226 00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:24,689 Says I'm livin' too much in '82. 227 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,691 Well, I dumped her. 228 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:31,905 What about your girlfriend? 229 00:25:31,989 --> 00:25:34,657 Well, things are gettin' pretty serious right now. 230 00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:37,952 I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day, 231 00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:41,497 so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious. 232 00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:47,295 I'm just really tryin' to raise a few bucks right now so I can bring her around for a few days. 233 00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:51,257 Yep. Well, what's she look like? 234 00:25:51,342 --> 00:25:53,718 She's, uh— She's got sandy blonde hair. 235 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:55,720 She's, uh, pretty-look— 236 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:57,722 pretty good-looking face, but... 237 00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:00,058 I'm just gettin' really— just kinda T.O.'d... 238 00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:04,020 because, I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet. 239 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:09,734 Hey, you know, 240 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,779 I got a little project... 241 00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:15,448 that we might be able to make a little moola with. 242 00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:18,868 Really? That sounds pretty good. 243 00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:21,871 Have you ever heard of nylon polymer? 244 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:26,125 Go for it. 245 00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:03,579 Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. 246 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:06,457 Are you serious? I'm dead serious. 247 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,170 Watch this. 248 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:19,012 What the heck are you doing? 249 00:27:19,096 --> 00:27:20,972 That's what I'm talkin' about. 250 00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,057 I better go. 251 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:36,154 How much you want to make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? 252 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,783 Yeah. If coach would've put me in fourth quarter, 253 00:27:40,868 --> 00:27:43,703 we'd have been state champions, no doubt. 254 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:46,664 No doubt in my mind. 255 00:27:46,749 --> 00:27:49,042 You better believe things would have been different. 256 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:52,295 I'd have gone pro... in a heartbeat. 257 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,672 I'd be makin' millions of dollars and... 258 00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:59,177 livin' in a... big ol' mansion somewhere. 259 00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:02,847 You know, soakin' it up in a hot tub with my soul mate. 260 00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,937 Kip, 261 00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:13,107 I reckon you know a lot about cyberspace. 262 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,404 Y- You ever come across anything like time travel? 263 00:28:18,489 --> 00:28:20,490 Easy. 264 00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:23,451 I've already looked into it for myself. 265 00:28:26,497 --> 00:28:31,042 Right on. 266 00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,409 Is Pedro here today? 267 00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:07,120 I don't think so. Why? 268 00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:09,455 Just wondering. 269 00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:11,791 Can you, uh, give this to him for me? 270 00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:14,836 Okay. 271 00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:19,590 Hey, Summer, you want to play me? 272 00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:37,191 Ow. God. 273 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:48,786 - What are you drawing? - A liger. 274 00:29:48,871 --> 00:29:50,997 What's a liger? 275 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:53,458 It's pretty much my favorite animal. 276 00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:55,710 It's like a lion and a tiger mixed. 277 00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,212 Bred for its skills in magic. 278 00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:06,804 Where's your friend? 279 00:30:06,889 --> 00:30:09,223 I don't know. Did you see him today? 280 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:11,934 No. 281 00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,936 Neither did I. 282 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:17,023 Do you need a ride? No. 283 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:20,985 I missed the bus today, but my uncle's coming to get me. 284 00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:31,287 See ya. 285 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,425 Right. I— I think... 286 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:47,803 just a little bit east of the cemetery is a good little area right here. 287 00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:51,224 We should do it there. Don't go down here, 'cause they don't have any money. 288 00:30:51,308 --> 00:30:54,560 So, how long are we talkin' about workin'? 289 00:30:54,645 --> 00:30:57,396 What are you— You're already losing your steam? 290 00:30:57,481 --> 00:31:00,858 No. I just— I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. 291 00:31:00,943 --> 00:31:02,860 I gotta be back here by then. 292 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,280 All right, you just start a little earlier. That's all. All right. 293 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:08,866 Or else work afterwards. How long's the chat room? 294 00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:12,161 Geez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe. 295 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,374 Maybe not. I don't know. 296 00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,459 You— You pay the bills for that? 297 00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:21,671 Does that cost money every time you're on, like for minutes on the phone? 298 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:23,673 Yeah. Grandma's still payin' per minute. 299 00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:26,842 She gets kind of pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long. 300 00:31:26,927 --> 00:31:29,804 I'll bet she does. I'd be throwin' you out the window. 301 00:31:33,475 --> 00:31:35,685 Bueno. Hello? 302 00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:38,062 Who's this? Napoleon Dynamite. 303 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,565 Who? Napoleon Dynamite. 304 00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:44,068 I'm one of Pedro's best friends. Your name is Napoleon? 305 00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:46,362 Yes. Is Pedro there? 306 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:48,447 No, he's not here right now. 307 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:50,533 Okay, bye. 308 00:31:51,702 --> 00:31:54,203 See, Crystal Street. That's for you. 309 00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:57,999 I'm goin' to Adams Park. They got some money in Adams Park. 310 00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:02,545 What? 311 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,505 Let's go, Kipper. I think we should take this... 312 00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:07,174 someplace a little more private. That's a good idea. 313 00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:10,386 Please. Please. Be good to me. 314 00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:12,888 Please, keep going. Dead on. Dead on. 315 00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:18,269 Yes! 316 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:29,488 Before we get started on our new project, I have a few concerns. 317 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:33,868 First off, I'm concerned about your transportation situation. 318 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:37,330 I mean, do you— you got a car you can borrow from someone? 319 00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:39,332 Well, that's the problem right now. 320 00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:41,375 At the moment, nothing comes to mind. 321 00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:52,803 You can borrow my van for the time being. I—I do better on foot anyway. 322 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:56,724 We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers. 323 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:59,226 How about some gold bracelets? 324 00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:02,396 We need, like, some name tags... 325 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,607 with our picture on it, all laminated and whatnot. 326 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:06,609 I mean, we gotta look legit, man. 327 00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:08,611 That's true. That's true. 328 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,405 Say, you know of a— a place we can get our picture taken, 329 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:13,407 like a— a photo store? 330 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,409 Okay. 331 00:33:15,494 --> 00:33:18,120 Turn your head on more of a slant. 332 00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:22,625 Now, make a fist, 333 00:33:22,709 --> 00:33:24,919 and slowly ease it up underneath your chin. 334 00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:32,677 - This is looking really good. - You can say that again. 335 00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:36,972 Okay, hold still right there. 336 00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,600 Now, just imagine you're weightless. 337 00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:42,853 You're in the middle of the ocean, 338 00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,940 surrounded by tiny little sea horses. 339 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:56,033 That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice. 340 00:33:56,118 --> 00:33:59,620 Uh, you did it? 341 00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:03,457 Wow. Wow, that felt really relaxed. 342 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,418 Thanks, Deb. 343 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:09,463 You're up, Kip. 344 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:14,468 Is there some kind of vest that I can wear? 345 00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:26,897 - Where have you been? - I got sick. 346 00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:31,026 Has Summer said anything to you yet? 347 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:33,279 No, not yet. 348 00:34:33,363 --> 00:34:35,197 Well, she said no. 349 00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:37,199 She did? 350 00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:41,662 - Well, what about that other girl? - What other girl? 351 00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:44,790 - The one that left all that crap on your porch. - You mean Deb? 352 00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:47,543 Yes, her. What about her? 353 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:50,421 - Well, I asked her out too. - What? 354 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,664 Well, nobody's gonna go out with me. 355 00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:30,503 Have you asked anybody yet? No, but who would? 356 00:35:30,629 --> 00:35:34,006 I don't even have any good skills. What do you mean? 357 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:36,467 You know, like... 358 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:39,637 nunchaku skills, bow hunting skills, 359 00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:41,972 computer hacking skills. 360 00:35:43,225 --> 00:35:45,684 Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. 361 00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:47,978 Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like, 362 00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:49,980 animals and warriors and stuff? 363 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:52,274 Yes. 364 00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:54,693 Probably the best that I know of. 365 00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:57,446 Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... 366 00:35:57,531 --> 00:36:00,199 and give it to her for, like, a gift or something. 367 00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:03,577 That's a pretty good idea. 368 00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:34,149 Now, if you invest in the 24-piece set, 369 00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:36,694 I'm gonna throw in a little gift. 370 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:39,113 So, what's the gift? 371 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:44,410 I bet you folks don't have one of these. 372 00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:51,584 I want that. 373 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:54,712 You see, this ain't your run-of-the-mill "crapper-ware. " 374 00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,424 These are some serious "NuPont" fiber-woven bowls. 375 00:36:58,508 --> 00:37:01,552 So, if we purchase the 24-piece set, 376 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,554 the mini sailboat is included? 377 00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:05,764 That's correct, sir. 378 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:09,018 Lance, you look like a strong young pup. 379 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:13,981 Why don't you see if you can give that a nice tear. 380 00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,617 Don't hurt yourself now. 381 00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,660 I can't do it. 382 00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:28,913 Can't do it. 383 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,792 So, uh, 384 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:36,378 how does the "dealio" sound to you? 385 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:54,229 Dang it. 386 00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:20,381 - Is Trisha here? - Oh, I'm sorry, she's not. 387 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:23,717 - She's at a friend's house right now. - Well, hey, Napoleon. 388 00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:30,808 - Napoleon's my nephew. - Oh, that's nice. 389 00:38:30,892 --> 00:38:33,394 Could you just give this to her for me? 390 00:38:33,478 --> 00:38:38,273 - I certainly could. - Thanks. 391 00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:40,067 Bye-bye. 392 00:38:43,196 --> 00:38:47,783 Poor kid. I've been takin' care of him while his grandma's in the hospital. 393 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:51,412 He still wets the bed and everything. 394 00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:53,414 You're kidding. 395 00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:57,459 Yeah, he's a tender little guy. He still gets beat up and whatnot. 396 00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:01,171 Anyway, uh, 397 00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:07,094 so we still feelin' pretty good about this, uh, 32-piece set here? 398 00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:10,180 Ow! What the crap was Uncle Rico doin' at my girlfriend's house? 399 00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:13,183 Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruisin' my neck meat! 400 00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:14,560 Fine. 401 00:39:14,644 --> 00:39:16,645 What the heck are you guys doin'? 402 00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:20,232 Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a friggin' idiot? 403 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:22,651 I'm out makin' some sweet moola with Uncle Rico. 404 00:39:22,736 --> 00:39:24,820 Geez, I think you ripped my mole off. 405 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:27,948 - I did? - Yeah, is it bleeding? 406 00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:30,034 A little bit. 407 00:39:30,118 --> 00:39:32,036 Hey, Kip. 408 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:39,001 I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. 409 00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:41,670 I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up. 410 00:39:41,755 --> 00:39:45,049 I'm gonna tell you somethin'. While you're playin' patty-cake with your friend Pedro, 411 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:47,885 your Uncle Rico... is makin' 120 bucks. 412 00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:50,596 I could make that much money in five seconds. 413 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,724 Geez. Yeah, right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today. 414 00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:57,269 Napoleon, it looks like you don't have a job. 415 00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:59,354 So why don't you get out there and feed Tina. 416 00:39:59,439 --> 00:40:01,690 Why don't you go eat a "decroded" piece of rap. 417 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,072 There's a lot more where this came from... 418 00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:10,074 if you go to the dance with me. 419 00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:12,659 Yours truly, Napoleon Dynamite. 420 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,756 You know you're gonna go to that dance with that boy. 421 00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:31,345 By noon I need them 8,000 hens moved into their new cages. 422 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:34,723 Sometimes they don't want to cooperate. 423 00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:38,310 But you give 'em a good shakin', they'll settle down for ya. 424 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,687 Do the chickens have large talons? 425 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:43,190 - Do they have what? - Large talons. 426 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,235 I don't understand a word you just said. 427 00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:50,155 Okay, you meet me back here about noon, and, uh, 428 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,658 we'll have a little lunch waitin' for ya. 429 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,241 Ew! 430 00:41:54,387 --> 00:41:56,805 Well, dig in. 431 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:25,125 Over there, in that pigpen, 432 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:28,045 I found a couple of Shoshoni arrowheads. 433 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:43,810 Can't find my checkbook. Hope you don't mind I pay you in change. 434 00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:49,233 Six dollars. 435 00:42:50,944 --> 00:42:52,903 That's, like, a dollar an hour. 436 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,410 Hello? 437 00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:03,080 - Hi. Is Napoleon there? - Yes. 438 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:07,876 - Can I talk to him? - You already are. 439 00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:13,257 Napoleon, this is Trisha. 440 00:43:13,341 --> 00:43:15,509 I'm just calling to tell you that... 441 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:17,970 I can go to the dance with you. 442 00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:20,138 And also, 443 00:43:20,223 --> 00:43:23,892 I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me. 444 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:26,979 It's hanging in my bedroom. Really? 445 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:30,691 Took me, like, three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. 446 00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:33,277 It's probably the best drawing I've ever done. 447 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:36,071 Yeah, it's really... nice. 448 00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:39,783 Yeah, well, I'll probably pick you up at 6:00 for the dance. 449 00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:43,036 - Is that okay? - That's fine. 450 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:44,538 Okay, bye. 451 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:48,625 Bye. 452 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:58,176 Who was that? Trisha. 453 00:43:58,261 --> 00:44:01,805 - Who's she? - My woman I'm takin' to the dance. 454 00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:05,183 - You draw her a picture? - Heck, yes, I did! 455 00:44:05,268 --> 00:44:09,062 - Well, what are you going to wear to the dance? 456 00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:11,273 Just, like, a silk shirt or something. 457 00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:14,067 What are you gonna wear? Deb has something for me. 458 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,695 But you should probably get a suit. 459 00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:25,329 Pedro, how do you feel about that one? 460 00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:27,331 It looks nice. 461 00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,333 Yeah. It looks pretty sweet. 462 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:31,501 It looks awesome. 463 00:44:31,586 --> 00:44:34,463 That suit, it's— It's incredible. 464 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,173 I need you to give me a ride in an hour. 465 00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:20,675 Where to? 466 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,469 The dance. 467 00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:25,806 You takin' my client's daughter? Yes. 468 00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:27,891 We need to pick her up too. 469 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:33,605 Well, Uncle Rico's got a sale to finalize in Bonita in five minutes. 470 00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:36,817 Can't you take me and then drop me off when you're done or whatever? 471 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,837 Well, I'll be back in a minute. 472 00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:59,297 Don't disturb me while I'm in there. 473 00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:02,175 Well, hurry up, 'cause I gotta get Trisha. 474 00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:26,032 Hi. I got your 24-piece set right here. 475 00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:23,400 So you guys are, like, Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hookups? 476 00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,402 Simón. 477 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:39,708 Is Trisha here? 478 00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:43,169 Who's that in my driveway? 479 00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:47,299 That's my ride. 480 00:49:49,362 --> 00:49:53,239 Do you wanna go over by my friend Pedro and dance really quick? 481 00:51:05,438 --> 00:51:07,981 When did you get here? 482 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:10,900 Just a couple minutes ago. 483 00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:13,153 Have you guys seen Trisha anywhere? 484 00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:15,405 No. 485 00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:19,659 She probably just went to the bathroom. 486 00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:25,415 Are you guys having a killer time? 487 00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:28,042 Yes. 488 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:44,017 If you can't find Trisha, I'll let you dance with Deb for a few songs. 489 00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:56,237 I like your sleeves. They're real big. 490 00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,449 Thank you. 491 00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:02,035 I made them myself. 492 00:52:05,414 --> 00:52:08,583 So you and Pedro are getting really serious now? 493 00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:10,585 No. 494 00:52:10,669 --> 00:52:12,587 We're just friends. 495 00:52:18,010 --> 00:52:20,386 How your glamour shots been going lately? 496 00:52:21,472 --> 00:52:23,473 Pretty good. 497 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,188 I could do a personal portrait sometime... 498 00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,232 if you wanted to come over. 499 00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,735 Okay. 500 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,288 Do you think people will vote for me? 501 00:53:28,372 --> 00:53:30,790 Heck, yes. I'd vote for you. 502 00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:33,126 Like, what are my skills? 503 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,336 Well, you have a sweet bike, 504 00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:39,007 and you're really good at hookin' up with chicks. 505 00:53:39,091 --> 00:53:42,510 Plus you're, like, the only guy at school who has a mustache. 506 00:53:42,595 --> 00:53:44,512 That's true. 507 00:53:44,597 --> 00:53:48,016 If you need to use any of my skills, I can do whatever you want. 508 00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:50,226 Thanks. 509 00:53:50,311 --> 00:53:53,563 If I win, you can be my secretary or something. 510 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:57,692 Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard too. 511 00:53:57,776 --> 00:54:02,113 Or, like, Secret Service captain or... whatever. 512 00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:04,198 Okay. 513 00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,416 Is that yours? 514 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,835 Don't touch it. It's Uncle Rico's. 515 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,004 What's it for? 516 00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:23,676 It's a time machine, Napoleon. He bought it online. 517 00:54:25,387 --> 00:54:29,182 Yeah, right. It works, Napoleon. You don't even know. 518 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:31,517 Have you guys tried it yet? 519 00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:33,394 No. 520 00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:57,877 - So, are you ready? - Yeah. Hold on. 521 00:54:57,962 --> 00:55:01,547 I forgot to put in the crystals. 522 00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:06,844 Okay, turn it on. 523 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:09,055 Kill— 524 00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:11,182 the pow— 525 00:55:11,266 --> 00:55:13,726 Kill— 526 00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,520 Turn it off! Turn it off! 527 00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:21,275 It's a piece of rap. It doesn't work. 528 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,570 Well, I could've told you that. 529 00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:41,087 I- I said the 12 pack, not the 24 pack. 530 00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:43,172 You're just gonna have to mix and match. 531 00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,508 Shut up. Say it so the whole world can hear. 532 00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:48,094 Well, put it back. 533 00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:57,311 Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. 534 00:55:57,396 --> 00:56:01,107 You think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back. 535 00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:03,693 Get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it. 536 00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:10,158 We can use a little of this. I can tell you that. 537 00:56:10,284 --> 00:56:14,579 We can use those. 538 00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:27,258 The defect in that one is bleach. 539 00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:32,013 That's correct. Yes! 540 00:56:44,193 --> 00:56:47,111 This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. 541 00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:51,824 Correct. Yes! 542 00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:58,206 They're pretty good except for one little problem. 543 00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:04,003 That little guy right there, he has nipple number five. 544 00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:06,089 A good dairy cow should have, like, four. 545 00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:09,217 Well done. 546 00:57:09,301 --> 00:57:12,303 Vote for Summer. Vote for Summer. 547 00:57:12,387 --> 00:57:15,431 Vote for Summer. Thanks. 548 00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:17,892 Yeah. Vote for Summer. 549 00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:22,438 Hi. Vote for Summer. 550 00:57:22,523 --> 00:57:24,607 Hi, ladies. Vote for Summer. You guys voting? 551 00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:32,073 Do you think it's kinda warm in here? No. 552 00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:37,662 I think it's— They have the heater on or something. 553 00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:40,873 It seems pretty good to me. 554 00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:45,962 You don't feel like your head is burning or - or anything? No. 555 00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:49,549 I'm gonna go home and lay down. 556 00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:51,634 Okay. See ya. 557 00:58:01,186 --> 00:58:03,062 Vote for Summer. Yeah, right. 558 00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:06,315 - I'm not votin' for her. - Then who are you gonna vote for? 559 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,484 I'm votin' for Pedro Sanchez. Who do you think? 560 00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:15,575 Hey, Don, can I have one of those buttons? 561 00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:28,212 Hey. Vote for Summer. 562 00:58:28,297 --> 00:58:30,381 Hi. Vote for Summer. 563 00:58:32,551 --> 00:58:35,845 So, that guy in Florida give you your money back yet? 564 00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:38,973 Oh, I wrote him an e-mail, sayin' I'm gonna contact the authorities... 565 00:58:39,057 --> 00:58:42,476 if I don't get a refund in full. 566 00:58:42,561 --> 00:58:46,314 Don't you ever wish you could go back... 567 00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:49,108 with all the knowledge you have now? Tsk. 568 00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:51,485 I guess so. 569 00:58:51,570 --> 00:58:55,072 Well, I'll tell you somethin' right now. You'd find your soul mate. 570 00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:58,826 - I've already got a soul mate. - Oh, yeah. What's her name again? 571 00:58:58,911 --> 00:59:02,288 - Lafawnduh. - Lafawnduh. 572 00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:05,917 - How's she doin'? - Well, I think I'm gonna need some time off. 573 00:59:06,001 --> 00:59:08,920 She's flyin' out from Detroit for a few days. 574 00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:13,216 Well, what about work? Well, haven't— haven't you studied up on the new product? 575 00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:17,220 - Yes. - Well, do you know it backwards and front? 576 00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:18,888 Basically. 577 00:59:20,224 --> 00:59:22,892 Why don't you sell some to that girlfriend of yours? 578 00:59:22,976 --> 00:59:25,478 You might as well do somethin' while you're doin' nothin'. 579 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:28,314 Because she doesn't need any. That's why. 580 00:59:33,111 --> 00:59:36,822 Hey. I did some drawings for the flyers. 581 00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,991 Thanks. 582 00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:41,869 Why do you got your hood on like that? 583 00:59:41,954 --> 00:59:46,958 Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. 584 00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:52,380 So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. 585 00:59:52,464 --> 00:59:54,423 So I laid in the bathtub for a while, 586 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:59,762 but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head so hot. 587 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:03,307 So I went into my kitchen, and I shaved it all off. 588 01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:06,727 I don't want anyone to see. 589 01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:10,356 I know what you mean. 590 01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:16,112 There's just so many options. 591 01:00:18,699 --> 01:00:22,743 That one's good. Looks like a medieval warrior. 592 01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:27,999 You know, you're right. That's a good one. 593 01:00:33,422 --> 01:00:35,423 Sorry. 594 01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:41,721 I think this matches your season, Pedro. 595 01:00:41,805 --> 01:00:44,223 Thank you. 596 01:01:17,799 --> 01:01:19,925 Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro. 597 01:01:20,052 --> 01:01:22,261 Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro. 598 01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:24,305 Vote for me. Vote for Pedro. 599 01:01:24,389 --> 01:01:26,265 - Vote for Pedro. Vote for me. 600 01:01:26,391 --> 01:01:29,810 Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro. 601 01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:32,938 Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro. Vote for... Pedro. 602 01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:38,652 Hey, give me 50 cents so I can buy a pop. 603 01:01:38,779 --> 01:01:40,905 I don't have any, Randy. Come on. I'll pay you back. 604 01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:44,450 I don't have— Stop. 605 01:01:44,534 --> 01:01:48,496 - Don't. Stop. Stop. - I'll do this to you. 606 01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:50,831 Don't. Ow. 607 01:01:50,916 --> 01:01:52,917 Here. Here. 608 01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:09,767 - How's your neck? - Stings. 609 01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:11,894 That's too bad. 610 01:02:13,522 --> 01:02:16,732 Pedro offers you his protection. 611 01:02:24,825 --> 01:02:26,659 Hey, let me borrow your bike. No. 612 01:02:26,785 --> 01:02:29,453 Come on. I'll give you some chips. No. 613 01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,098 Like a wash, and then you blow-dry it with bleach. 614 01:03:31,183 --> 01:03:33,184 Yeah. It's so cool. 615 01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:40,566 Hey, you Trisha? 616 01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,611 - Yeah. - You remember me? 617 01:03:43,695 --> 01:03:48,282 I'm a friend of your mom's. I'm— I'm Napoleon's uncle. Uncle Rico. 618 01:03:49,910 --> 01:03:53,412 - Oh. Yeah. - Hey, could you do me a favor? 619 01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,457 Could you give your mom a couple of these... 620 01:03:56,541 --> 01:03:59,835 and tell 'em to hand 'em out to her friends or whoever? 621 01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:01,795 'Kay. 622 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:06,258 You girls give me a call if you feel like you could use some. 623 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:16,101 Have a nice day. 624 01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:18,641 Why the heck you throwin' crap at my van, Napoleon? 625 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:22,519 Everybody at school thinks I'm a freakin' idiot 'cause of you. 626 01:06:22,604 --> 01:06:25,189 You're gonna clean my van... right now. 627 01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:27,733 Get off of me, you "bodaggit. " 628 01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:48,545 Higher. No, no, higher. 629 01:06:48,672 --> 01:06:51,173 Yeah! 630 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:56,261 Yeah. Hit it! 631 01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:02,518 Dang. 632 01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:37,052 Look, Pedro. I don't know how they do things down in Juárez, 633 01:07:37,137 --> 01:07:40,389 but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. 634 01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:42,933 Understand? 635 01:07:43,017 --> 01:07:47,896 Smashing in the face of a piñata that resembles Summer Wheatly... 636 01:07:47,981 --> 01:07:52,985 is a disgrace to you, me and the entire Gem State. 637 01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:09,877 Welcome to D-Qwon's Dance Grooves. Are you ready to get your groove on? 638 01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:13,714 Yes. All right, then. Let's get started. 639 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,560 Are you disqualified? 640 01:08:28,313 --> 01:08:33,525 No. They just made me take down the flyers as a penalty for the piñatas. 641 01:08:33,610 --> 01:08:36,195 Can you still run for president? 642 01:08:37,322 --> 01:08:39,239 Yes. 643 01:08:40,283 --> 01:08:43,285 I don't understand. 644 01:08:43,369 --> 01:08:48,832 He say... you're not allowed to smash piñatas that look like real people. 645 01:08:50,502 --> 01:08:52,878 But we do it in Mexico all the time. 646 01:08:55,089 --> 01:08:57,049 Your hair looked great today. 647 01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:01,094 Thank you. 648 01:09:02,222 --> 01:09:06,475 All right. See you tomorrow, Pedro. 649 01:09:20,532 --> 01:09:22,908 Who are you? 650 01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:26,411 - I'm Lafawnduh. - What are you doing here? 651 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:29,414 I'm waiting for Kip. 652 01:09:30,542 --> 01:09:34,461 - Kip? - Why are you so sweaty? 653 01:09:36,548 --> 01:09:39,091 I been practicing. 654 01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:42,511 - Practicing what? - Some dance moves. 655 01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:47,266 You like dancing? 656 01:09:49,310 --> 01:09:53,772 - My chores are done. So, you ready, Lafawnduh? - I am, honey. 657 01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:56,817 Sorry, Napoleon. We're just runnin' a little bit late for some prime rib. 658 01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:59,403 Tell Uncle Rico not to wait up for me. Here. 659 01:09:59,487 --> 01:10:02,489 You might like that. My cousin made it. 660 01:10:02,574 --> 01:10:05,325 I'll be waitin' outside for you, baby. 661 01:10:06,995 --> 01:10:08,912 Bye, Napoleon. 662 01:10:08,997 --> 01:10:11,290 See ya. 663 01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:17,713 Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 664 01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:20,549 I'm a hundred percent positive that she's my soul mate. 665 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:24,386 Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. 666 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,308 Peace out. 667 01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:33,896 See ya. 668 01:10:52,624 --> 01:10:54,875 Is this what you were looking for? 669 01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:59,504 Nah, I was thinkin' of somethin' a little more... soft around the edges. 670 01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:02,591 Hmm. Well, 671 01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:05,510 I have a nice, soft pink sheet I could hang, 672 01:11:05,595 --> 01:11:10,223 and I could wrap you in some foam or... something billowy? 673 01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:14,853 Yeah, billowy's good. 674 01:11:17,023 --> 01:11:18,941 It'd be really nice... 675 01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:21,735 if I could get the fan going. 676 01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:24,363 I could hang some tinsel from the top. 677 01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:31,620 You know, Deborah, you have... striking features. 678 01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:36,083 Such a soft face should be complimented with a... 679 01:11:36,167 --> 01:11:38,210 soft body. 680 01:11:39,337 --> 01:11:42,005 Mr. Rico? 681 01:11:42,090 --> 01:11:45,717 My friends and clients, they call me "Uncle Rico. " 682 01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:50,973 What are you doing? 683 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:54,059 Shh. Don't say another word. 684 01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:58,105 Napoleon told me you'd be interested. 685 01:12:04,237 --> 01:12:06,446 Napoleon? 686 01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:10,575 You stop wishin', and call me when you're ready. 687 01:12:42,233 --> 01:12:44,151 Hello? Napoleon? 688 01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:47,029 - Yeah. Who's this? - It's Deb, 689 01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:49,823 and I'm calling to let you know I think you're a shallow friend. 690 01:12:49,907 --> 01:12:52,826 - What the heck are you even talkin' about? - Don't lie, Napoleon. 691 01:12:52,910 --> 01:12:56,580 - Your Uncle Rico made it very clear how you feel about me. - What? 692 01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:59,374 I don't need herbal enhancers to feel good about myself. 693 01:12:59,459 --> 01:13:03,628 And if you're so concerned about that, why don't you try eating some yourself? 694 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:16,224 Right on. 695 01:13:16,309 --> 01:13:19,394 Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home. 696 01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,606 - She didn't tell me anything. - Too bad. She says she doesn't want you here... 697 01:13:22,690 --> 01:13:26,234 when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eatin' all our steak. 698 01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:29,613 - I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon. - Get off my property! 699 01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:32,741 It's a free country. I can do whatever I want. 700 01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:35,994 Get off my property, or I'll call the cops on you. 701 01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,246 Well, then do it. Go on. 702 01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,332 Maybe I will. Gosh! 703 01:13:57,016 --> 01:13:58,934 - Hello? - Pedro? 704 01:13:59,018 --> 01:14:01,436 - How's it goin'? - Good. 705 01:14:01,521 --> 01:14:04,773 Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now. 706 01:14:04,857 --> 01:14:07,609 - Why? - 'Cause my Uncle Rico's an idiot! 707 01:14:07,693 --> 01:14:10,070 Do you have anything to give to her? 708 01:14:10,154 --> 01:14:13,698 No, not unless she likes fish. 709 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:18,995 - Are you still gonna give your speech tomorrow? - Yes. 710 01:14:19,122 --> 01:14:22,624 Do you already know what you're gonna say? Yes, 711 01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:24,626 but not all of it. 712 01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:26,711 Just tell 'em that... 713 01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:32,259 their wildest dreams will come true if they vote for you. 714 01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:36,346 I'll see you tomorrow, Pedro. 715 01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:55,532 Dang it! 716 01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:57,909 What do you think you're doing? 717 01:15:40,620 --> 01:15:46,041 Now, if you look right here, we have Sally Johnson from Manitou, Colorado. 718 01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:51,880 Would you like to read her testimonial right there? Sure. Um, 719 01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:56,509 "After using Bust Must Plus, I have such big bosoms—" 720 01:15:57,595 --> 01:16:00,347 I don't feel comfortable reading this. 721 01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:03,600 Oh, that's fine. That's fine. 722 01:16:03,684 --> 01:16:06,144 But do you feel comfortable with me? 723 01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:14,819 You could be... 724 01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:18,490 somewhere around, uh, 725 01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,659 here. 726 01:16:24,497 --> 01:16:26,414 Come here, boy! 727 01:16:40,846 --> 01:16:44,099 Well, I never thought I would make it here today. 728 01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:46,268 I would be a great class president because... 729 01:16:46,352 --> 01:16:49,896 I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria, and... 730 01:16:49,981 --> 01:16:53,233 I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonnebell dispenser for all the girls' bathrooms. 731 01:16:53,317 --> 01:16:55,944 Oh, we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. 732 01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:59,197 Anyway, I think I'd be a great class president, so, uh, 733 01:16:59,282 --> 01:17:01,491 who wants to eat "chimini-changas" next year? 734 01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:07,080 Not me. See, with me, it will be summer all year long. 735 01:17:07,206 --> 01:17:10,292 Vote for Summer. 736 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:24,347 And now Summer will perform her skit with members of our very own Happy Hands Club. 737 01:17:26,851 --> 01:17:30,520 Your speech is up next. Your skit had better be pretty good. 738 01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:34,983 A skit? You perform a skit after your speech, Pedro. 739 01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:37,777 What? A flippin' skit? 740 01:17:37,903 --> 01:17:40,071 Why didn't anybody tell us about this? 741 01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:44,344 I don't want to be president anyway. 742 01:18:44,428 --> 01:18:46,971 Pedro, just listen to your heart. 743 01:18:47,056 --> 01:18:49,641 That's what I do. 744 01:18:50,810 --> 01:18:54,479 I'll just tell them that I have nothing to say. 745 01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:13,373 Hello. 746 01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:17,085 I don't have much to say. 747 01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:21,756 But I think it would be good to have some holy santos brought to the high school... 748 01:19:21,841 --> 01:19:25,468 to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck. 749 01:19:25,553 --> 01:19:30,348 El Santo Niño de Atocha is a good one. My Aunt Concha has seen him. 750 01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:33,351 And... 751 01:19:33,477 --> 01:19:37,021 we have a great F.F.A. Schedule lined up— 752 01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:40,191 And I'd like to see more of that. 753 01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:48,533 If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. 754 01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:52,287 Thank you. 755 01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:15,226 Up next, I hope you'll enjoy a skit by Pedro Sanchez. 756 01:25:41,386 --> 01:25:43,930 I caught you a delicious bass. 757 01:25:48,435 --> 01:25:50,812 You wanna play me? 758 01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:49,800 I, uh, would like to give you this advice. 759 01:29:49,885 --> 01:29:53,054 And a fella give me some years ago. 760 01:29:53,138 --> 01:29:56,682 He said, "When an argument arises, 761 01:29:56,767 --> 01:30:01,312 "if you go outside and take, uh, a nice walk, 762 01:30:01,396 --> 01:30:06,108 "you'll calm down and then you can come back and it won't be an argument. 763 01:30:06,193 --> 01:30:08,402 "And you'll find that helps your health. 764 01:30:08,487 --> 01:30:11,989 All that fresh air and exercise will do you a lot of good. " 765 01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:18,037 Is there anything else you'd like to ask about? 766 01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:25,711 Pedro. 767 01:30:26,922 --> 01:30:30,216 - Where the heck's Napoleon? - I don't know. 768 01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:36,097 Lafawnduh Lucas, do you take Kipland Ronald Dynamite... 769 01:30:36,181 --> 01:30:39,391 to be your lawful wedded husband, 770 01:30:39,476 --> 01:30:44,188 to honor in sickness and health till death do you part? 771 01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:46,774 I do. 772 01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:51,821 Kipland Ronald Dynamite, 773 01:30:51,905 --> 01:30:56,158 do you take Lafawnduh Lucas to be your lawful wedded wife... 774 01:30:56,243 --> 01:31:00,538 in sickness and health till death do you part? 775 01:31:00,622 --> 01:31:03,040 You know I do. 776 01:31:04,543 --> 01:31:08,671 By the authority vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife. 777 01:31:09,798 --> 01:31:12,550 You may kiss the bride. 778 01:33:32,983 --> 01:33:34,942 Sorry I'm late. 779 01:33:35,026 --> 01:33:38,445 I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys. 780 01:33:42,200 --> 01:33:45,536 Hey, Deb, can you take a photo of me on the horse real quick? 781 01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:49,081 Sure. 782 01:33:50,458 --> 01:33:53,043 Thanks. 783 01:34:08,101 --> 01:34:11,729 I hope your guys's experiences are unforgettable. 784 01:34:14,983 --> 01:34:18,569 Lookee, lookee. A little keepsake for you guys.