1 00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:40,069 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:45,368 --> 00:00:49,658 - How long have you been here, anyway? - A while. 3 00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:54,329 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:03,714 The thing is, when I made that bet... 5 00:01:04,262 --> 00:01:08,427 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:01:08,641 --> 00:01:12,430 What's up? I met a whole other person inside of you. 7 00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:17,023 There's a whole other person inside of both of us. 8 00:01:41,925 --> 00:01:44,338 Would the whole other person... 9 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,586 like to dance? 10 00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:51,431 Yes. 11 00:01:52,519 --> 00:01:55,011 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 12 00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:58,063 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 13 00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,228 It's her birthday, Dad. 14 00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:03,102 Happy birthday, sweetie. 15 00:02:06,366 --> 00:02:10,610 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute, here. 16 00:02:10,828 --> 00:02:12,820 Maybe it's that construction. 17 00:02:13,122 --> 00:02:15,239 Where's my little angel? 18 00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:17,120 Happy birthday, honey. 19 00:02:17,335 --> 00:02:18,496 Grandma? Grandpa? 20 00:02:18,711 --> 00:02:20,168 Rosco! 21 00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:25,458 Rosco, go. 22 00:02:26,219 --> 00:02:28,336 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 23 00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:31,805 I brought your special friends from the center! 24 00:02:32,016 --> 00:02:34,508 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 25 00:02:34,727 --> 00:02:36,559 It smells in here. 26 00:02:36,938 --> 00:02:38,804 Okay, make a wish, dear. 27 00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:41,015 No. 28 00:02:56,457 --> 00:02:57,447 Let's begin now. 29 00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:10,969 This isn't a typical high school. 30 00:03:11,222 --> 00:03:15,808 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 31 00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:19,478 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 32 00:03:19,731 --> 00:03:23,850 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 33 00:03:24,068 --> 00:03:27,357 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 34 00:03:27,572 --> 00:03:31,111 and get you slutty girls over here by me. 35 00:03:31,326 --> 00:03:33,534 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 36 00:03:33,745 --> 00:03:36,579 You losers should hang out in the back. 37 00:03:36,789 --> 00:03:40,373 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 38 00:03:40,585 --> 00:03:43,373 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 39 00:03:45,548 --> 00:03:48,632 They're your only friends for the next four years. 40 00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:51,130 Okay, let's move it, people! 41 00:04:02,565 --> 00:04:05,433 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 42 00:04:05,652 --> 00:04:07,518 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 43 00:04:07,737 --> 00:04:09,569 I can't have sex before you. 44 00:04:09,781 --> 00:04:12,990 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 45 00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:17,536 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 46 00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:21,240 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 47 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:23,872 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 48 00:04:24,295 --> 00:04:25,456 Thank you, Daddy. 49 00:04:25,672 --> 00:04:28,665 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 50 00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:34,428 Go! Fight! Win! 51 00:04:40,228 --> 00:04:42,971 Nice combination, Crissy! 52 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:50,478 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 53 00:04:51,531 --> 00:04:53,113 Later, Dad. 54 00:04:53,574 --> 00:04:57,238 Hey, I'll be late to pick you up. 55 00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:59,410 Why? A job interview? 56 00:04:59,664 --> 00:05:03,078 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 57 00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:05,830 That's good. No drinking and driving. 58 00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:09,922 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 59 00:05:10,633 --> 00:05:12,625 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 60 00:05:13,469 --> 00:05:14,960 Bye, pumpkin-head. 61 00:05:20,518 --> 00:05:22,976 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 62 00:05:39,871 --> 00:05:42,488 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 63 00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:46,166 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 64 00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:50,246 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 65 00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:53,958 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 66 00:05:55,094 --> 00:05:56,630 He just looked at me. 67 00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:59,509 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 68 00:05:59,724 --> 00:06:02,467 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 69 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,517 Melanie. 70 00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:06,721 Hey, Jake. 71 00:06:06,939 --> 00:06:08,646 Hey, Arthur. 72 00:06:16,949 --> 00:06:20,033 Here's Ricky! 73 00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:22,236 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 74 00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:27,082 Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain... 75 00:06:27,335 --> 00:06:28,871 screaming your name. 76 00:06:29,545 --> 00:06:33,255 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 77 00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:37,752 I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 78 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,257 I'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 79 00:06:40,473 --> 00:06:42,510 mix tape for your birthday. 80 00:06:42,725 --> 00:06:46,093 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 81 00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:49,267 See you in English. 82 00:06:52,568 --> 00:06:54,434 Catch you guy later. 83 00:06:57,615 --> 00:06:59,447 What happening? 84 00:06:59,659 --> 00:07:03,152 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 85 00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:08,116 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 86 00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:11,077 Did you get any action this weekend? 87 00:07:11,295 --> 00:07:14,879 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 88 00:07:15,091 --> 00:07:16,457 We're pathetic. 89 00:07:16,676 --> 00:07:20,420 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 90 00:07:20,638 --> 00:07:23,301 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 91 00:07:23,558 --> 00:07:27,142 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 92 00:07:27,353 --> 00:07:31,472 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 93 00:07:31,691 --> 00:07:34,149 Love me! Harder! 94 00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:42,653 Amanda Becker. 95 00:07:44,328 --> 00:07:47,571 She is so perfect. 96 00:07:58,009 --> 00:07:59,045 Keep dreaming. 97 00:08:00,052 --> 00:08:01,759 What's up, Reggie Ray? 98 00:08:01,971 --> 00:08:04,338 I can't wait until Friday's game. 99 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,101 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 100 00:08:09,312 --> 00:08:13,397 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 101 00:08:13,649 --> 00:08:16,642 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 102 00:08:16,903 --> 00:08:21,864 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore, isn't first-string anymore. 103 00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:26,402 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 104 00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:29,788 And now, our hometown hero... 105 00:08:29,999 --> 00:08:33,333 first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 106 00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:36,912 Malik, could you hold these books? 107 00:08:37,256 --> 00:08:39,964 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 108 00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:42,668 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 109 00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:48,383 and say things like "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack!" 110 00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:08,911 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 111 00:09:10,539 --> 00:09:12,496 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 112 00:09:12,708 --> 00:09:14,370 Can I ask you a question? 113 00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:17,874 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 114 00:09:18,089 --> 00:09:21,082 - ... they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 115 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,462 Way too much information. 116 00:09:23,678 --> 00:09:28,013 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 117 00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:31,183 that after they're done I take a huge dump. 118 00:09:31,352 --> 00:09:32,388 Shit! 119 00:09:35,147 --> 00:09:36,263 On their chest. 120 00:09:36,732 --> 00:09:38,689 Oh, that is whack! 121 00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,541 Priscilla, there you are. 122 00:09:56,752 --> 00:09:58,869 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 123 00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:03,669 Some time to talk to you. 124 00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,215 God. 125 00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:11,681 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 126 00:10:15,354 --> 00:10:17,687 You're leaving me for this guy? 127 00:10:17,898 --> 00:10:21,187 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 128 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,942 I'm not ordinary. 129 00:10:27,742 --> 00:10:30,280 You're leaving me for this guy? 130 00:10:30,494 --> 00:10:32,451 His name is Les... 131 00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:36,247 and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 132 00:10:39,253 --> 00:10:40,960 And so is his bag. 133 00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:16,246 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 134 00:11:19,585 --> 00:11:22,453 Being a foreign exchange student is scary... 135 00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:25,459 adjusting to a new school, a new country. 136 00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:29,293 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 137 00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:34,256 You have a sunny disposition. 138 00:11:36,519 --> 00:11:37,600 You got your schedule? 139 00:11:47,154 --> 00:11:48,565 Well, isn't that wonderful? 140 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,026 Janey, come in. 141 00:11:51,575 --> 00:11:54,693 This is Areola, our foreign exchange student. 142 00:11:54,912 --> 00:11:57,871 Janey will show you to your first class. 143 00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:00,415 Hi. 144 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:07,797 I like your backpack. 145 00:12:13,764 --> 00:12:18,429 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 146 00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:20,727 Dude, no way, dude. 147 00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:24,272 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 148 00:12:24,483 --> 00:12:27,817 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 149 00:12:28,612 --> 00:12:32,447 For the thousandth time, I said, "Swallow that thing." 150 00:12:32,658 --> 00:12:34,490 Am I right? 151 00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:42,036 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 152 00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:44,208 Who does she think she is? 153 00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:46,662 I got two words for you, Jake: 154 00:12:46,964 --> 00:12:50,173 Prom queen, material. 155 00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:53,544 Austin, she's an illusion. 156 00:12:53,762 --> 00:12:57,051 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 157 00:12:57,308 --> 00:13:01,143 the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 158 00:13:01,395 --> 00:13:04,479 that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls... 159 00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:09,233 Look, she's replaceable. 160 00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:12,563 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 161 00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:16,240 - ... any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 162 00:13:16,452 --> 00:13:19,115 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 163 00:13:19,663 --> 00:13:21,450 mistakey. 164 00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:25,158 I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 165 00:13:25,377 --> 00:13:28,996 and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 166 00:13:29,215 --> 00:13:30,831 You're on, Austin. 167 00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:33,007 I'll bet you lose that bet... 168 00:13:33,219 --> 00:13:36,838 but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win. 169 00:13:37,056 --> 00:13:38,297 In life, that is. 170 00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:40,844 You're both on. 171 00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:42,968 All right. 172 00:13:43,229 --> 00:13:47,815 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 173 00:13:48,817 --> 00:13:49,933 What about her? 174 00:13:50,152 --> 00:13:52,189 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 175 00:13:52,404 --> 00:13:54,987 No, way too easy. 176 00:13:55,658 --> 00:13:57,820 I have no pigment 177 00:13:57,993 --> 00:13:59,700 Any girl with a guitar is hot. 178 00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:01,452 I need sunscreen 179 00:14:01,664 --> 00:14:04,907 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 180 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,329 What about the Fratelli sisters? 181 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,833 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 182 00:14:11,048 --> 00:14:14,962 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 183 00:14:15,177 --> 00:14:17,339 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 184 00:14:17,596 --> 00:14:20,885 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 185 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,934 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 186 00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:31,604 Well, bombs away. 187 00:14:32,194 --> 00:14:36,734 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 188 00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:40,533 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. 189 00:14:40,744 --> 00:14:43,908 She's got paint on her overalls! What is that? 190 00:14:44,081 --> 00:14:46,573 There's no way she could be prom queen. 191 00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:50,248 Damn, that shit's whack. 192 00:14:51,672 --> 00:14:53,413 Aim for the head! 193 00:15:07,604 --> 00:15:10,517 Can you imagine what they do in there? 194 00:15:10,691 --> 00:15:12,182 Holy cow. 195 00:15:12,401 --> 00:15:15,735 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 196 00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:19,068 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 197 00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:20,899 than it is in here. 198 00:15:21,201 --> 00:15:24,444 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 199 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,868 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 200 00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:31,167 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 201 00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:40,968 Thanks, Miss Peters. 202 00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:42,674 So... 203 00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:46,759 who would like to share their poem with the class? 204 00:15:49,063 --> 00:15:52,056 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 205 00:15:52,274 --> 00:15:53,310 Anyone? 206 00:15:53,525 --> 00:15:55,892 Please pick me. I'm the one. 207 00:15:56,111 --> 00:15:57,272 Yes... 208 00:15:57,988 --> 00:15:59,445 Ricky. 209 00:16:07,873 --> 00:16:11,492 - "Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not again. 210 00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:13,167 By Ricky Lipman. 211 00:16:14,505 --> 00:16:18,590 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 212 00:16:19,385 --> 00:16:23,550 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 213 00:16:24,139 --> 00:16:26,552 I love it when Janey says hi 214 00:16:26,975 --> 00:16:30,844 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 215 00:16:34,358 --> 00:16:36,896 I love following Janey to the mall 216 00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:44,024 And I love collecting strands 217 00:16:44,201 --> 00:16:45,783 Of Janey's hair 218 00:16:45,953 --> 00:16:48,491 And rolling them up 219 00:16:48,664 --> 00:16:53,409 Into little Janey hairballs 220 00:17:04,721 --> 00:17:09,466 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 221 00:17:11,019 --> 00:17:15,059 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 222 00:17:15,691 --> 00:17:18,479 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 223 00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:23,530 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen again. 224 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:24,901 Shit, we missed it. 225 00:17:25,075 --> 00:17:26,111 Let's keep going. 226 00:17:28,036 --> 00:17:31,029 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 227 00:17:37,004 --> 00:17:38,040 Jackpot. 228 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,498 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 229 00:17:41,717 --> 00:17:42,878 I agree-gree. 230 00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:46,928 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 231 00:17:47,306 --> 00:17:52,847 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 232 00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:54,472 You know what I think about poetry? 233 00:17:58,609 --> 00:18:01,818 Oh, is that amusing? 234 00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:05,564 Is that what your generation considers humor? 235 00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:16,579 This make me kind of happy in pants. 236 00:18:22,549 --> 00:18:23,881 Goodness. 237 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:27,256 That make me kind of sad in pants. 238 00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:31,006 Shakespeare, Molière... 239 00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:33,925 Oscar Wilde. 240 00:18:34,144 --> 00:18:35,806 These were humorists. 241 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:39,726 I'm gonna be sick. 242 00:18:39,942 --> 00:18:44,437 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 243 00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:46,612 That is true comedy. 244 00:18:47,324 --> 00:18:48,781 Heavens to Betsy. 245 00:18:50,827 --> 00:18:56,368 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 246 00:18:59,044 --> 00:19:01,502 is merely a parade of nasty... 247 00:19:02,923 --> 00:19:04,084 filthy, vulgar... 248 00:19:06,343 --> 00:19:08,175 human excrement! 249 00:19:22,859 --> 00:19:24,316 Excuse me. 250 00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:40,041 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 251 00:19:40,252 --> 00:19:44,041 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 252 00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:46,248 Anorexic, superficial? 253 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,583 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 254 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:51,677 Exactly. 255 00:19:51,888 --> 00:19:55,632 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 256 00:19:55,851 --> 00:19:57,137 Be seen in public. 257 00:19:57,603 --> 00:20:01,688 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 258 00:20:02,024 --> 00:20:05,267 That time when we were in line at that theater... 259 00:20:05,485 --> 00:20:08,148 I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 260 00:20:16,246 --> 00:20:19,956 We're down a cheerleader for Friday's game against North Compton... 261 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,329 and that squad always tries to bring it. 262 00:20:23,170 --> 00:20:25,662 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 263 00:20:25,881 --> 00:20:28,419 Right, but what is "it"? 264 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,258 It's just what they bring, okay? 265 00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,473 New girl. 266 00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:51,271 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 267 00:20:52,074 --> 00:20:54,361 Peachy. You brought a routine? 268 00:20:54,576 --> 00:20:55,862 Oh, you bet. 269 00:20:57,537 --> 00:20:59,904 Give me an H, give me a U 270 00:21:00,791 --> 00:21:04,660 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 271 00:21:08,173 --> 00:21:11,757 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 272 00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:14,794 I don't know about her. 273 00:21:14,971 --> 00:21:19,807 Okay. Let's get one thing straight. This isn't a cheerocracy. 274 00:21:20,185 --> 00:21:21,517 I am the cheertator. 275 00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:25,642 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 276 00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:30,519 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 277 00:21:31,279 --> 00:21:32,815 Thank you. 278 00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:39,452 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 279 00:21:41,456 --> 00:21:44,244 She'll cheer do. Great. 280 00:21:45,752 --> 00:21:48,540 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 281 00:21:48,755 --> 00:21:52,214 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 282 00:21:52,426 --> 00:21:55,965 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 283 00:21:56,179 --> 00:21:58,546 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 284 00:21:58,765 --> 00:22:00,256 What the hell? 285 00:22:00,517 --> 00:22:02,930 Nobody's covering that hole! 286 00:22:03,145 --> 00:22:05,979 Goddamn it! Let's do it again! 287 00:22:07,357 --> 00:22:10,316 Marty! Marty! Marty! 288 00:22:11,069 --> 00:22:13,311 All right, Marty. 289 00:22:15,323 --> 00:22:17,815 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 290 00:22:18,034 --> 00:22:20,447 Just go, goddamn it. 291 00:22:20,662 --> 00:22:22,870 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 292 00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:26,370 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 293 00:22:29,129 --> 00:22:31,963 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 294 00:22:32,174 --> 00:22:33,710 Goddamn it. 295 00:22:36,553 --> 00:22:38,340 Listen, boys. 296 00:22:38,555 --> 00:22:41,013 We got time for one more play. 297 00:22:41,224 --> 00:22:44,513 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 298 00:22:44,728 --> 00:22:47,516 No, I'm just happy being on the field. 299 00:22:47,731 --> 00:22:52,146 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 300 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,522 I don't care what coach reckons. 301 00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:57,318 You can't go through life being scared. 302 00:22:57,532 --> 00:23:00,866 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 303 00:23:01,536 --> 00:23:05,325 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 304 00:23:05,707 --> 00:23:06,788 that's heroic. 305 00:23:09,878 --> 00:23:11,870 Guys, I appreciate this, but... 306 00:23:12,088 --> 00:23:14,375 That's the spirit! Ready? 307 00:23:19,971 --> 00:23:22,679 What are you doing? Get out of here. 308 00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:24,515 Not here. Down there. 309 00:23:24,726 --> 00:23:25,807 Over here? 310 00:23:26,019 --> 00:23:28,102 What are you doing? Over here! 311 00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:29,728 Here? 312 00:23:30,857 --> 00:23:32,268 We love you, Marty! 313 00:23:32,484 --> 00:23:34,066 Set, hut! 314 00:23:44,913 --> 00:23:45,949 No. No. 315 00:23:48,041 --> 00:23:49,407 No, don't throw it to me. 316 00:23:50,919 --> 00:23:52,285 No! 317 00:24:18,321 --> 00:24:21,814 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 318 00:24:22,701 --> 00:24:24,693 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 319 00:24:25,996 --> 00:24:29,615 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 320 00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:33,084 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 321 00:24:33,295 --> 00:24:36,038 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 322 00:24:36,256 --> 00:24:39,590 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 323 00:24:39,801 --> 00:24:43,636 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 324 00:24:43,847 --> 00:24:48,091 thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 325 00:25:12,709 --> 00:25:16,953 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 326 00:25:17,172 --> 00:25:19,255 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 327 00:25:19,466 --> 00:25:25,508 Guys, guys, guys. I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 328 00:25:26,014 --> 00:25:27,926 right here, right now. 329 00:25:28,141 --> 00:25:31,384 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 330 00:25:31,978 --> 00:25:33,810 We always make that pact. 331 00:25:34,022 --> 00:25:36,935 We've been waiting for this since puberty. 332 00:25:37,150 --> 00:25:40,564 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 333 00:25:41,154 --> 00:25:43,692 I don't think you understand. 334 00:25:44,157 --> 00:25:47,491 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 335 00:25:47,702 --> 00:25:50,866 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 336 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,202 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 337 00:25:54,417 --> 00:25:58,582 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 338 00:25:59,047 --> 00:26:00,879 All right, that's it. 339 00:26:04,844 --> 00:26:06,631 What in God's name is going on? 340 00:26:07,597 --> 00:26:09,964 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 341 00:26:10,183 --> 00:26:14,348 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 342 00:26:14,562 --> 00:26:17,305 You better watch your tongue, young man! 343 00:26:17,524 --> 00:26:19,390 We were just sitting here. 344 00:26:19,609 --> 00:26:22,647 You just bought yourself another detention. 345 00:26:22,862 --> 00:26:25,696 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 346 00:26:25,907 --> 00:26:28,775 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 347 00:26:29,327 --> 00:26:30,659 What was that? 348 00:26:30,870 --> 00:26:34,079 Eat my shorts! 349 00:26:34,290 --> 00:26:37,033 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 350 00:26:37,252 --> 00:26:38,914 - You got another. - Good! 351 00:26:39,129 --> 00:26:41,712 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 352 00:26:41,923 --> 00:26:43,710 - Want another one? - Yes. 353 00:26:43,925 --> 00:26:45,917 - You got it! - Good. 354 00:26:46,177 --> 00:26:48,089 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 355 00:26:48,346 --> 00:26:49,553 - Another one. - So? 356 00:26:49,764 --> 00:26:51,721 - I can keep going. - Go! 357 00:26:51,933 --> 00:26:54,095 - Eenie, meenie, minie... - Mo. 358 00:26:54,310 --> 00:26:55,596 - Your mom was a... - Ho. 359 00:26:55,812 --> 00:26:57,428 - He was a famous clown. - Bobo. 360 00:26:57,689 --> 00:26:59,976 Mitch, cut it out. 361 00:27:02,152 --> 00:27:04,109 - Another one. - But I was... 362 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,606 That's another one! 363 00:27:05,822 --> 00:27:08,610 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 364 00:27:09,242 --> 00:27:11,529 - I confused. - Shut your hole, Wang Chung. 365 00:27:11,745 --> 00:27:15,659 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 366 00:27:16,082 --> 00:27:18,199 - Next time, I'm cracking skulls. - I'm cracking skulls. 367 00:27:34,309 --> 00:27:38,098 How many times have I said I'm not going to Princeton? 368 00:27:38,354 --> 00:27:40,186 I'm not pressuring you. 369 00:27:40,648 --> 00:27:42,310 Just give it four years. 370 00:27:42,525 --> 00:27:45,859 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 371 00:27:46,071 --> 00:27:48,859 I don't want your life! 372 00:27:49,449 --> 00:27:50,690 That's okay, son. 373 00:27:50,909 --> 00:27:53,367 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 374 00:27:53,953 --> 00:27:55,194 The good news is... 375 00:27:55,413 --> 00:27:57,951 I've got the perfect rebound girl. 376 00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,494 Really? 377 00:28:00,794 --> 00:28:03,537 Beverly! Could you come in here? 378 00:28:09,803 --> 00:28:10,919 That's Mom! 379 00:28:11,137 --> 00:28:12,173 What do you say, kiddo? 380 00:28:13,890 --> 00:28:16,257 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 381 00:28:19,479 --> 00:28:20,890 Make me proud, son. 382 00:28:21,606 --> 00:28:23,689 So you in love? 383 00:28:26,277 --> 00:28:30,021 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 384 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,200 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 385 00:28:39,958 --> 00:28:42,450 Janey? Sweetheart? 386 00:28:45,797 --> 00:28:47,129 Hi, Daddy. 387 00:28:47,340 --> 00:28:50,003 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 388 00:28:50,552 --> 00:28:52,509 You were passed out on the table. 389 00:28:58,726 --> 00:29:00,308 Listen, honey... 390 00:29:00,937 --> 00:29:04,931 I may not always be coherent or conscious... 391 00:29:05,150 --> 00:29:09,315 but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 392 00:29:09,988 --> 00:29:12,105 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake... 393 00:29:12,866 --> 00:29:16,075 Oh, sweetie. 394 00:29:18,121 --> 00:29:19,862 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 395 00:29:20,832 --> 00:29:22,573 No, he asked me out. 396 00:29:24,419 --> 00:29:27,537 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 397 00:29:28,089 --> 00:29:30,547 I mean, would you give him head? 398 00:29:30,758 --> 00:29:33,592 He is kind of cute, but... 399 00:29:33,803 --> 00:29:36,170 he's always been a total jerk. 400 00:29:36,389 --> 00:29:38,881 It's weird that he's talking to me now. 401 00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:42,935 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 402 00:29:47,108 --> 00:29:48,895 What do you think I should do? 403 00:29:49,819 --> 00:29:51,481 Look, sweetie. 404 00:29:51,696 --> 00:29:56,236 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 405 00:29:56,451 --> 00:29:59,785 because you're very, very special to me. 406 00:29:59,996 --> 00:30:03,956 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 407 00:30:04,459 --> 00:30:05,916 well, then I'd say... 408 00:30:06,794 --> 00:30:07,875 go out with him. 409 00:30:08,755 --> 00:30:12,294 You could certainly use the popularity points. 410 00:30:12,717 --> 00:30:14,504 And if Jake likes you... 411 00:30:14,761 --> 00:30:19,222 then maybe those kids will quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 412 00:30:25,438 --> 00:30:27,100 I feel better. 413 00:30:29,692 --> 00:30:31,228 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 414 00:30:33,321 --> 00:30:35,859 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 415 00:30:43,623 --> 00:30:46,707 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 416 00:30:47,168 --> 00:30:48,284 No, not that. 417 00:30:50,964 --> 00:30:53,923 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 418 00:30:54,133 --> 00:30:56,625 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 419 00:30:58,554 --> 00:31:02,093 That girl with the glasses and the ponytail? 420 00:31:02,308 --> 00:31:04,721 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 421 00:31:06,437 --> 00:31:07,803 Well... 422 00:31:08,940 --> 00:31:11,683 it's going to be difficult. 423 00:31:12,235 --> 00:31:14,192 But I think I can help you. 424 00:31:14,904 --> 00:31:16,395 Sit. 425 00:31:19,617 --> 00:31:21,233 For a price. 426 00:31:23,413 --> 00:31:26,201 And this time, I don't want your car. 427 00:31:28,334 --> 00:31:30,041 I want you. 428 00:31:30,336 --> 00:31:33,875 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 429 00:31:34,132 --> 00:31:35,794 Only by blood. 430 00:31:36,843 --> 00:31:42,384 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 431 00:31:55,194 --> 00:31:57,811 There are three things you need to do... 432 00:31:57,989 --> 00:32:00,402 to have Janey eating out of your hand. 433 00:32:02,327 --> 00:32:04,239 First, you earn her trust. 434 00:32:04,454 --> 00:32:05,990 Come on, leave him alone! 435 00:32:06,372 --> 00:32:10,742 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 436 00:32:14,130 --> 00:32:15,871 You little shit. 437 00:32:27,477 --> 00:32:29,218 Don't you guys mess with him again. 438 00:32:30,396 --> 00:32:34,766 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 439 00:32:35,860 --> 00:32:39,444 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 440 00:32:57,465 --> 00:32:59,502 Janey's got a gun 441 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,296 Janey Briggs' got a gun 442 00:33:02,470 --> 00:33:05,338 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 443 00:33:05,807 --> 00:33:07,264 What? 444 00:33:08,851 --> 00:33:10,888 Janey Briggs' got a gun 445 00:33:11,562 --> 00:33:15,772 So run away, run away from the pain 446 00:33:16,359 --> 00:33:17,520 Take it easy, miss. 447 00:33:17,735 --> 00:33:20,193 - Wait. - Get back here! 448 00:33:20,863 --> 00:33:23,230 Run away from the pain 449 00:33:23,866 --> 00:33:25,107 Hold her down. 450 00:33:27,829 --> 00:33:31,072 - Give me your hand! - Just give us the gun, Janey. 451 00:33:31,916 --> 00:33:34,408 After you've made her feel special... 452 00:33:35,378 --> 00:33:38,371 it's time to put the icing on the cake. 453 00:33:38,589 --> 00:33:41,172 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 454 00:33:41,384 --> 00:33:46,175 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 455 00:33:46,431 --> 00:33:49,424 You know, I was just making a snack. 456 00:33:49,684 --> 00:33:51,391 You want one? 457 00:33:52,061 --> 00:33:55,930 - No. Listen, Jake... - I'll be right back. 458 00:33:56,732 --> 00:33:57,768 But I... 459 00:34:33,311 --> 00:34:34,722 Hungry? 460 00:34:37,857 --> 00:34:39,314 I don't like sundaes. 461 00:34:39,567 --> 00:34:42,981 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 462 00:34:45,615 --> 00:34:49,154 I don't like those, either. Goodbye, Jake. 463 00:35:04,383 --> 00:35:07,342 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 464 00:35:07,553 --> 00:35:09,966 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 465 00:35:10,181 --> 00:35:12,673 And remember, son: No parties. 466 00:35:12,934 --> 00:35:14,141 I know, Dad. 467 00:35:14,519 --> 00:35:16,306 Keg coming through. Hey. 468 00:35:17,021 --> 00:35:18,307 What's up, man? 469 00:35:18,523 --> 00:35:20,515 We're trusting you, Preston. 470 00:35:20,733 --> 00:35:24,977 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 471 00:35:25,196 --> 00:35:27,438 You guys should hit the road. 472 00:35:27,657 --> 00:35:30,240 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 473 00:35:30,451 --> 00:35:33,068 We'll call you later to check in. 474 00:35:33,287 --> 00:35:35,870 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 475 00:35:36,499 --> 00:35:38,286 That's my boy. 476 00:35:41,671 --> 00:35:43,913 Jake, what are you doing here? 477 00:35:44,131 --> 00:35:46,794 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 478 00:35:47,385 --> 00:35:48,466 I can't. 479 00:35:48,678 --> 00:35:52,843 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 480 00:35:53,057 --> 00:35:56,641 I'd say you're one big fucking train wreck. 481 00:36:00,731 --> 00:36:02,267 Do I know you? 482 00:36:18,165 --> 00:36:20,782 That's it. I've got it. 483 00:36:21,919 --> 00:36:23,126 What? 484 00:36:23,337 --> 00:36:26,330 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 485 00:36:55,161 --> 00:36:56,447 That's it. 486 00:36:57,121 --> 00:36:59,454 I did it. I'm a miracle worker. 487 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,576 Gentlemen... 488 00:37:04,795 --> 00:37:07,913 may I present to you the new and improved... 489 00:37:08,382 --> 00:37:09,463 Janey Briggs. 490 00:37:45,336 --> 00:37:49,501 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 491 00:38:11,862 --> 00:38:13,319 I'm okay! 492 00:38:14,198 --> 00:38:15,484 Janey? 493 00:38:17,493 --> 00:38:21,112 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 494 00:38:30,005 --> 00:38:32,873 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 495 00:38:35,052 --> 00:38:36,668 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 496 00:38:36,887 --> 00:38:37,923 - Condoms. - Check. 497 00:38:38,097 --> 00:38:43,263 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 498 00:38:43,477 --> 00:38:45,810 Check! Road trip! 499 00:39:01,203 --> 00:39:02,410 We here. 500 00:39:02,913 --> 00:39:06,907 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high-school party. 501 00:39:07,460 --> 00:39:10,703 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 502 00:39:10,921 --> 00:39:13,004 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 503 00:39:13,883 --> 00:39:18,048 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 504 00:39:18,262 --> 00:39:20,970 I've loved her since I first saw her. 505 00:39:22,183 --> 00:39:23,515 Welcome to the party. 506 00:39:23,726 --> 00:39:27,219 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 507 00:39:29,106 --> 00:39:33,476 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 508 00:39:33,694 --> 00:39:36,402 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls? 509 00:39:36,614 --> 00:39:38,856 How did you talk me into this? 510 00:39:39,074 --> 00:39:43,785 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her glasses and her ponytail. 511 00:39:43,954 --> 00:39:47,163 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 512 00:39:47,374 --> 00:39:50,242 - Hey, I'm a complete stranger. - I'm a complete stranger. 513 00:39:52,755 --> 00:39:56,248 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 514 00:39:56,801 --> 00:39:57,837 Nice turtleneck. 515 00:39:58,052 --> 00:39:59,964 What's your name? 516 00:40:00,179 --> 00:40:03,513 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag fucker! 517 00:40:03,724 --> 00:40:05,761 Who told you that? Alison? 518 00:40:06,018 --> 00:40:08,726 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 519 00:40:08,938 --> 00:40:13,433 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 520 00:40:13,651 --> 00:40:17,816 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 521 00:40:18,531 --> 00:40:20,898 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 522 00:40:30,626 --> 00:40:32,288 What's going on? 523 00:40:33,379 --> 00:40:38,499 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 524 00:40:43,472 --> 00:40:45,259 She took forever this time. 525 00:40:54,692 --> 00:40:56,433 What are you doing here? 526 00:40:59,154 --> 00:41:00,395 What do you mean? 527 00:41:00,614 --> 00:41:04,358 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 528 00:41:05,536 --> 00:41:09,325 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 529 00:41:09,498 --> 00:41:10,614 - It's whack. - It's whack. 530 00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:11,827 Hey, man, my bad. 531 00:41:12,042 --> 00:41:13,829 - Take this. - Thanks. 532 00:41:14,044 --> 00:41:15,410 Do your thing. 533 00:41:16,046 --> 00:41:19,289 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 534 00:41:27,266 --> 00:41:30,009 Hi, my name is Catherine. 535 00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:35,021 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 536 00:41:39,653 --> 00:41:41,895 Not scoring any cock, either? 537 00:41:42,114 --> 00:41:46,154 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 538 00:41:49,371 --> 00:41:53,786 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 539 00:42:03,802 --> 00:42:07,967 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 540 00:42:08,891 --> 00:42:11,759 It's a good night for smoking. 541 00:42:11,977 --> 00:42:14,219 Ain't that right, Sausage? 542 00:42:21,862 --> 00:42:25,526 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 543 00:42:25,783 --> 00:42:29,367 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 544 00:42:30,913 --> 00:42:32,495 I guess. 545 00:42:43,801 --> 00:42:49,138 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 546 00:42:50,557 --> 00:42:51,968 Okay. 547 00:42:53,102 --> 00:42:55,094 Let's try again. 548 00:42:55,813 --> 00:42:59,397 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 549 00:43:00,442 --> 00:43:04,982 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 550 00:43:05,197 --> 00:43:09,612 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 551 00:43:09,910 --> 00:43:11,617 Eyes closed. 552 00:43:36,979 --> 00:43:39,141 That was cool. 553 00:43:41,442 --> 00:43:42,478 Now... 554 00:43:43,318 --> 00:43:45,901 have you ever eaten pussy before? 555 00:43:49,158 --> 00:43:52,071 You call this a party? 556 00:43:52,286 --> 00:43:54,869 I'm a golden goddess! 557 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,948 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 558 00:44:04,381 --> 00:44:06,589 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 559 00:44:07,342 --> 00:44:09,208 Janey, are you all right? 560 00:44:10,137 --> 00:44:15,223 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 561 00:44:19,688 --> 00:44:21,304 What the hell are you doing here? 562 00:44:21,523 --> 00:44:23,810 I... I was invited. 563 00:44:24,026 --> 00:44:28,862 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytail thing... 564 00:44:29,073 --> 00:44:32,032 but you're still a loser. 565 00:44:37,748 --> 00:44:40,957 Look at that. Oh, my God. 566 00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:43,418 That's going to stain. 567 00:44:48,550 --> 00:44:50,712 You're not going to cry now, are you? 568 00:45:33,846 --> 00:45:37,965 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 569 00:45:38,183 --> 00:45:39,674 You gotta wait for the right moment. 570 00:45:40,144 --> 00:45:43,888 But how am I going to know when it's the right moment? 571 00:45:46,733 --> 00:45:47,894 You'll know. 572 00:46:00,998 --> 00:46:03,160 Nobody's allowed down here. 573 00:46:03,667 --> 00:46:05,374 Janey, I just thought... 574 00:46:05,586 --> 00:46:08,829 How did you get in here? I deadbolted the door. 575 00:46:10,340 --> 00:46:12,297 There's a hole in the side of your house. 576 00:46:18,307 --> 00:46:19,343 Who's that? 577 00:46:20,434 --> 00:46:23,848 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 578 00:46:26,106 --> 00:46:27,517 She died when I was 6. 579 00:46:29,902 --> 00:46:30,938 I'm sorry. 580 00:46:31,987 --> 00:46:34,229 I remember it like it was yesterday. 581 00:46:35,073 --> 00:46:40,740 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 582 00:46:41,121 --> 00:46:43,989 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 583 00:46:44,249 --> 00:46:46,411 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 584 00:46:47,836 --> 00:46:51,170 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 585 00:46:51,632 --> 00:46:55,967 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 586 00:46:56,803 --> 00:47:00,012 She said she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 587 00:47:01,058 --> 00:47:03,471 but I knew she was going to get me that present. 588 00:47:05,020 --> 00:47:09,014 It was raining really hard that night... 589 00:47:09,191 --> 00:47:12,025 and the roads were slippery. 590 00:47:12,527 --> 00:47:15,861 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 591 00:47:16,073 --> 00:47:18,190 No. Cancer. 592 00:47:21,912 --> 00:47:25,451 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 593 00:47:25,666 --> 00:47:29,205 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 594 00:47:29,419 --> 00:47:32,583 It's in the past. Think about your future. 595 00:47:32,798 --> 00:47:34,460 Look how talented you are. 596 00:47:35,425 --> 00:47:40,011 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 597 00:47:40,222 --> 00:47:43,215 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 598 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,970 Unless I raise $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 599 00:47:48,188 --> 00:47:53,559 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 600 00:47:53,860 --> 00:47:55,692 Really? That's amazing. 601 00:47:55,904 --> 00:48:00,239 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger painter. 602 00:48:00,450 --> 00:48:02,487 I think you'd really like her work. 603 00:48:04,121 --> 00:48:07,831 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 604 00:48:08,041 --> 00:48:11,250 and some guy would come and take me away. 605 00:48:35,902 --> 00:48:37,359 - I was... My... - Yeah... 606 00:48:37,529 --> 00:48:41,899 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even... Yeah. Totally. 607 00:48:49,416 --> 00:48:51,829 I'm gonna... I'm gonna... 608 00:48:52,044 --> 00:48:53,876 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 609 00:48:54,796 --> 00:48:57,584 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 610 00:49:08,518 --> 00:49:12,558 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think again, Janey. 611 00:49:12,773 --> 00:49:16,642 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment." The "boo" in "taboo." 612 00:49:16,818 --> 00:49:19,856 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 613 00:49:23,408 --> 00:49:25,115 Is that the best you can do? 614 00:49:26,578 --> 00:49:27,739 No. 615 00:49:28,497 --> 00:49:31,456 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 616 00:49:31,875 --> 00:49:34,618 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 617 00:49:34,795 --> 00:49:39,790 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 618 00:49:41,927 --> 00:49:46,297 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 619 00:49:48,058 --> 00:49:52,849 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 620 00:49:53,105 --> 00:49:55,222 We resent that! 621 00:49:56,525 --> 00:49:58,391 Why don't you just drop it, Austin? 622 00:49:59,820 --> 00:50:04,736 Jake made a few paint stains in his pants thinking about Janey. 623 00:50:05,534 --> 00:50:07,617 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 624 00:50:08,954 --> 00:50:11,662 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 625 00:50:11,915 --> 00:50:14,658 Mr. I-Have- a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls. 626 00:50:17,838 --> 00:50:19,329 You mean Janey? 627 00:50:19,548 --> 00:50:23,087 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 628 00:50:23,301 --> 00:50:25,008 Bling-bling. 629 00:50:27,431 --> 00:50:29,218 Janey Briggs... 630 00:50:30,016 --> 00:50:31,632 is hot. 631 00:50:48,743 --> 00:50:51,577 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 632 00:50:51,788 --> 00:50:54,701 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 633 00:50:54,916 --> 00:50:58,205 and there's something I want to ask you. 634 00:50:59,921 --> 00:51:02,755 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 635 00:51:03,008 --> 00:51:06,126 so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 636 00:51:08,180 --> 00:51:10,092 Here it is. 637 00:51:12,100 --> 00:51:15,218 See, I don't like making big speeches. 638 00:51:15,479 --> 00:51:19,143 I'm a straight shooter. I call them like I see them. 639 00:51:19,608 --> 00:51:21,565 What you see is what you get. 640 00:51:22,235 --> 00:51:26,445 Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. 641 00:51:27,532 --> 00:51:30,866 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 642 00:51:31,077 --> 00:51:32,113 Yeah. 643 00:51:33,413 --> 00:51:35,496 I'd love to go with you. 644 00:51:40,170 --> 00:51:42,628 Great. Great. 645 00:51:45,759 --> 00:51:46,966 I'll see you in English. 646 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,383 It's time to play some football! 647 00:51:54,809 --> 00:51:59,850 The John Hughes Wasps defend their title against the North Compton Wildcats. 648 00:52:17,707 --> 00:52:19,323 Goddamn! 649 00:52:26,841 --> 00:52:29,834 That was the fastest first half of football I've ever seen. 650 00:52:34,808 --> 00:52:38,518 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 651 00:52:38,728 --> 00:52:43,473 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 652 00:52:43,692 --> 00:52:44,728 That's right. 653 00:52:45,068 --> 00:52:48,027 Well, then, you better bring it. 654 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,522 Oh, it's already been broughten. 655 00:52:51,074 --> 00:52:53,566 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 656 00:52:53,743 --> 00:52:57,032 We are the North Compton Wildcats 657 00:52:57,247 --> 00:52:58,909 We're black, we know it 658 00:52:59,124 --> 00:53:01,241 We shake our big booties and show it 659 00:53:01,459 --> 00:53:03,451 We ain't white, we ain't white 660 00:53:03,712 --> 00:53:06,830 We definitely ain't white Break it down, niggas 661 00:53:12,679 --> 00:53:15,547 Damn, those bitches represent! 662 00:53:25,650 --> 00:53:27,607 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 663 00:53:28,737 --> 00:53:30,103 You all right? 664 00:53:30,447 --> 00:53:33,440 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 665 00:53:38,830 --> 00:53:40,571 I got to go back out on the field. 666 00:53:43,293 --> 00:53:46,286 All right. Be careful. You only have three... 667 00:53:47,255 --> 00:53:50,748 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 668 00:53:50,967 --> 00:53:52,549 And we're back. 669 00:53:54,471 --> 00:53:56,337 Let's go, Wasps! 670 00:54:02,937 --> 00:54:04,678 Blue 33! Set! 671 00:54:06,941 --> 00:54:08,603 That's defense right there. 672 00:54:09,861 --> 00:54:11,978 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 673 00:54:14,491 --> 00:54:17,575 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 674 00:54:18,203 --> 00:54:21,241 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 675 00:54:21,414 --> 00:54:23,656 You still have another concussion! 676 00:54:26,878 --> 00:54:27,914 Come on, dog! 677 00:54:28,630 --> 00:54:29,916 It doesn't look good, coach. 678 00:54:31,174 --> 00:54:33,336 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 679 00:54:33,510 --> 00:54:36,628 Answer my question! Can he play? 680 00:54:36,846 --> 00:54:39,634 He can't breathe. We gotta get him to a hospital. 681 00:54:39,808 --> 00:54:41,015 Listen to me right now! 682 00:54:41,434 --> 00:54:46,771 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 683 00:54:58,702 --> 00:55:01,661 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 684 00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:03,408 Blue 15! 685 00:55:06,209 --> 00:55:07,700 Set! Hut! 686 00:55:11,673 --> 00:55:13,790 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 687 00:55:14,759 --> 00:55:16,125 Oh, shit. 688 00:55:35,363 --> 00:55:38,401 Wham, bam! What the fuck just happened? 689 00:55:41,536 --> 00:55:46,247 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 690 00:55:47,751 --> 00:55:51,995 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy being on the field. 691 00:55:52,964 --> 00:55:56,457 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 692 00:55:59,304 --> 00:56:01,512 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 693 00:56:01,723 --> 00:56:03,339 You're our only chance! 694 00:56:04,726 --> 00:56:08,766 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 695 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,107 You got butterflies, huh? 696 00:56:14,486 --> 00:56:15,567 Who are you? 697 00:56:23,328 --> 00:56:24,489 I'm the wise janitor. 698 00:56:25,121 --> 00:56:28,239 I impart knowledge and help youngsters overcome their fears. 699 00:56:28,458 --> 00:56:30,620 I also replace the urinal cakes. 700 00:56:30,835 --> 00:56:33,543 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 701 00:56:34,339 --> 00:56:36,251 - How did you...? - I've been watching. 702 00:56:36,424 --> 00:56:41,135 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 703 00:56:41,346 --> 00:56:43,212 whipping boys with a wet towel. 704 00:56:44,224 --> 00:56:49,094 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 705 00:56:49,312 --> 00:56:52,055 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 706 00:56:52,232 --> 00:56:53,268 Really? 707 00:56:53,650 --> 00:56:56,734 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 708 00:56:56,945 --> 00:56:58,436 It could've happened to anybody. 709 00:56:59,489 --> 00:57:02,903 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 710 00:57:03,117 --> 00:57:08,078 and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 711 00:57:08,289 --> 00:57:12,158 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 712 00:57:12,377 --> 00:57:14,460 Right. Forget what I said. 713 00:57:14,671 --> 00:57:19,336 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 714 00:57:19,676 --> 00:57:21,463 You can do it. 715 00:57:26,349 --> 00:57:28,136 I'm going out there. 716 00:57:34,899 --> 00:57:38,438 Only 25 seconds remaining, and the fate of the season... 717 00:57:38,653 --> 00:57:42,943 rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 718 00:57:43,157 --> 00:57:46,275 We're shit out of luck. 719 00:57:46,452 --> 00:57:48,819 - Give me a W! - W! 720 00:57:48,997 --> 00:57:51,114 - Give me a Y! - Y! 721 00:57:51,332 --> 00:57:54,575 Give me a... Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 722 00:57:55,378 --> 00:57:57,995 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 723 00:58:02,302 --> 00:58:03,463 Blue 83! 724 00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,177 Blue 83! 725 00:58:06,389 --> 00:58:08,221 I reckon I'm feeling better. 726 00:58:08,474 --> 00:58:09,806 Set! Hut! 727 00:58:53,770 --> 00:58:55,432 Oh, shit. 728 00:59:09,702 --> 00:59:14,197 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 729 00:59:16,417 --> 00:59:18,374 What the hell was that? 730 00:59:46,489 --> 00:59:48,230 Jake? 731 00:59:50,326 --> 00:59:51,862 Jake. 732 00:59:53,496 --> 00:59:54,703 Hey. 733 00:59:55,456 --> 00:59:58,790 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 734 00:59:59,002 --> 01:00:00,413 I let everyone down. 735 01:00:00,628 --> 01:00:05,498 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 736 01:00:06,634 --> 01:00:08,546 you didn't let me down. 737 01:00:09,137 --> 01:00:10,378 Really? 738 01:00:11,681 --> 01:00:14,469 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 739 01:00:14,642 --> 01:00:17,680 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 740 01:00:17,895 --> 01:00:19,761 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 741 01:00:20,648 --> 01:00:23,356 Right, you never noticed those either. 742 01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,898 You taught me a lot about myself too. 743 01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:31,524 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 744 01:00:31,743 --> 01:00:33,029 Jake Wyler. 745 01:00:34,829 --> 01:00:38,243 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 746 01:00:38,458 --> 01:00:42,418 - Señor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 747 01:00:42,670 --> 01:00:43,706 A life. 748 01:00:45,423 --> 01:00:46,789 And payback. 749 01:00:47,216 --> 01:00:50,380 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 750 01:00:50,595 --> 01:00:55,556 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P... 751 01:00:58,978 --> 01:01:00,765 What's going on? 752 01:01:00,938 --> 01:01:02,679 Austin. 753 01:01:02,857 --> 01:01:03,938 This isn't funny! 754 01:01:05,318 --> 01:01:06,434 No. 755 01:01:07,945 --> 01:01:09,106 I don't believe it. 756 01:01:09,322 --> 01:01:14,033 I said I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 757 01:01:14,243 --> 01:01:19,034 the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 758 01:01:19,916 --> 01:01:22,329 Look, I made a mistake. 759 01:01:22,919 --> 01:01:26,788 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 760 01:01:29,967 --> 01:01:31,048 What bet? 761 01:01:35,014 --> 01:01:37,722 I never said anything about a bet. 762 01:01:48,569 --> 01:01:49,730 All I said was: 763 01:01:49,946 --> 01:01:51,733 "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret... 764 01:01:51,948 --> 01:01:53,985 so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret... 765 01:01:54,158 --> 01:01:56,650 that will cause him to break into a hysterical confession... 766 01:01:56,828 --> 01:02:02,074 revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 767 01:02:28,651 --> 01:02:32,019 I wish I didn't make that bet 768 01:02:32,238 --> 01:02:35,822 That's not the guy I want to be 769 01:02:36,033 --> 01:02:39,526 If I could just turn back the clock 770 01:02:39,745 --> 01:02:44,706 Then Janey would still be with me 771 01:02:47,545 --> 01:02:50,709 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 772 01:02:51,048 --> 01:02:52,380 I love this boy 773 01:02:52,550 --> 01:02:59,389 But he has been untrue 774 01:03:00,391 --> 01:03:03,304 I'll do my best to make things right 775 01:03:04,395 --> 01:03:08,014 I wish we could resolve this fight 776 01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:12,359 It could happen 777 01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:16,689 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 778 01:03:22,288 --> 01:03:25,247 I'm getting pussy no matter what 779 01:03:25,458 --> 01:03:28,201 Even if it with dirty slut 780 01:03:28,419 --> 01:03:31,036 True love is what I want the most 781 01:03:31,255 --> 01:03:34,839 I just jerked off in your French toast 782 01:03:35,384 --> 01:03:41,130 So what if we have the same mother 783 01:03:41,307 --> 01:03:46,678 Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother 784 01:03:46,854 --> 01:03:49,688 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 785 01:03:52,610 --> 01:03:56,229 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in 'Nam 786 01:03:58,616 --> 01:04:02,280 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 787 01:04:04,664 --> 01:04:08,829 I'm only in the song Because I'm a black guy 788 01:04:11,712 --> 01:04:16,503 I have no money I have to make my own dress 789 01:04:18,302 --> 01:04:24,014 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes 790 01:04:24,183 --> 01:04:27,142 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 791 01:04:27,353 --> 01:04:33,600 Here I go, I'm gonna forget about Jake 792 01:04:35,361 --> 01:04:37,273 Prom tonight 793 01:04:39,282 --> 01:04:41,148 Prom tonight 794 01:04:42,660 --> 01:04:44,026 Prom tonight 795 01:04:49,542 --> 01:04:52,205 It's gonna happen, gonna happen 796 01:04:55,881 --> 01:05:02,674 At the prom 797 01:05:02,847 --> 01:05:03,883 Tonight 798 01:05:23,075 --> 01:05:29,117 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 799 01:05:29,373 --> 01:05:34,710 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a sprained ankle... 800 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:39,210 a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and a subdermal hematoma. 801 01:05:56,317 --> 01:05:58,400 I bet she great bonk. 802 01:05:58,611 --> 01:06:02,025 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 803 01:06:02,615 --> 01:06:06,404 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 804 01:06:07,119 --> 01:06:09,327 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 805 01:06:09,997 --> 01:06:11,454 You smell her. 806 01:06:11,665 --> 01:06:13,622 You touch her gently. 807 01:06:14,043 --> 01:06:18,663 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 808 01:06:19,256 --> 01:06:23,842 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 809 01:06:26,514 --> 01:06:28,005 Go to her. 810 01:06:40,611 --> 01:06:42,648 Be strong, Mitch! 811 01:06:55,709 --> 01:06:57,166 What do you expect from me? 812 01:06:59,130 --> 01:07:03,625 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 813 01:07:03,843 --> 01:07:05,960 Because I am not a cheap slut. 814 01:07:06,178 --> 01:07:09,171 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 815 01:07:12,810 --> 01:07:14,096 I give them handjobs. 816 01:07:23,279 --> 01:07:26,693 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 817 01:07:27,199 --> 01:07:29,316 I totally heard that. 818 01:07:43,424 --> 01:07:45,290 We're dancing. 819 01:08:06,572 --> 01:08:07,653 It's funny. 820 01:08:07,823 --> 01:08:11,567 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 821 01:08:26,008 --> 01:08:27,340 Oh, God. No. 822 01:08:27,551 --> 01:08:29,713 I want to do it right here on the dance floor. 823 01:08:29,887 --> 01:08:31,048 Janey. 824 01:08:31,263 --> 01:08:34,506 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 825 01:08:46,779 --> 01:08:50,898 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 826 01:08:51,116 --> 01:08:55,702 to turn a uniquely rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for: 827 01:08:55,871 --> 01:08:59,239 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 828 01:08:59,458 --> 01:09:01,950 This year's prom king is... 829 01:09:02,628 --> 01:09:03,664 Marty! 830 01:09:04,421 --> 01:09:05,582 Jake Wyler! 831 01:09:21,063 --> 01:09:22,474 Way to go, Jake! 832 01:09:23,107 --> 01:09:25,941 This year's prom queen is... 833 01:09:26,151 --> 01:09:27,437 You got it, Priscilla! 834 01:09:27,611 --> 01:09:31,230 - It's in the bag, Priscilla. - I don't believe it. It's a tie. 835 01:09:31,740 --> 01:09:32,776 A tie? 836 01:09:32,950 --> 01:09:34,657 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 837 01:09:36,287 --> 01:09:38,620 Your new prom queens are... 838 01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:43,499 - ... Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 839 01:09:44,545 --> 01:09:48,380 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 840 01:09:50,801 --> 01:09:52,133 Congratulations! 841 01:09:54,430 --> 01:09:58,140 There we go! Your king and queen. 842 01:10:04,148 --> 01:10:07,516 I say we make like a tree and branch... 843 01:10:08,319 --> 01:10:10,060 out of here. 844 01:10:11,822 --> 01:10:13,688 All right, Kara and Sara. 845 01:10:13,866 --> 01:10:17,485 Now, it is traditional for the king and queen... 846 01:10:17,703 --> 01:10:20,696 - ... to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 847 01:10:31,717 --> 01:10:33,299 You smell good. 848 01:10:46,857 --> 01:10:48,894 Janey. 849 01:10:52,946 --> 01:10:55,154 Do you know where Austin went? 850 01:10:55,366 --> 01:10:59,360 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 851 01:10:59,578 --> 01:11:02,742 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 852 01:11:03,791 --> 01:11:06,454 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 853 01:11:09,046 --> 01:11:10,537 That's all I know. 854 01:11:11,632 --> 01:11:12,918 Thanks, Malik. 855 01:11:13,967 --> 01:11:20,180 You know, you're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 856 01:11:22,768 --> 01:11:24,054 You really mean that, Jake? 857 01:11:24,770 --> 01:11:28,514 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss with you the repercussions... 858 01:11:28,691 --> 01:11:30,603 I actually got to go. Sorry. 859 01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:32,396 Motherfucker. 860 01:11:32,611 --> 01:11:34,523 Hold it right there, mister. 861 01:11:34,863 --> 01:11:40,109 I am not going to let you hurt Janey again, okay? Besides, I love her. 862 01:11:40,327 --> 01:11:41,488 Well, so do I. 863 01:11:42,454 --> 01:11:47,119 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 864 01:11:47,334 --> 01:11:51,453 and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 865 01:11:52,214 --> 01:11:55,457 I'm the cool guy who's learned the error of his ways. 866 01:11:55,801 --> 01:11:59,169 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 867 01:12:00,973 --> 01:12:02,555 Damn it. That's true. 868 01:12:17,489 --> 01:12:20,448 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 869 01:12:36,008 --> 01:12:38,045 Get out of the road! 870 01:12:38,260 --> 01:12:39,671 Hey, watch it, man! 871 01:12:40,888 --> 01:12:43,175 She's not attracted to you! 872 01:12:43,807 --> 01:12:45,719 She doesn't love you! 873 01:12:46,685 --> 01:12:49,223 You'll never be more than a friend! 874 01:12:50,063 --> 01:12:52,055 Two dollars! 875 01:13:01,158 --> 01:13:03,024 Ice dispenser. 876 01:13:03,660 --> 01:13:05,276 Six. 877 01:13:05,537 --> 01:13:09,702 Oh, yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 878 01:13:09,875 --> 01:13:13,414 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 879 01:13:15,881 --> 01:13:17,543 Get off her, man! 880 01:13:18,342 --> 01:13:19,503 Priscilla. 881 01:13:19,718 --> 01:13:21,175 Don't move. 882 01:13:26,058 --> 01:13:28,846 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 883 01:13:29,728 --> 01:13:32,937 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy... 884 01:13:33,190 --> 01:13:34,681 ran home to her daddy. 885 01:13:36,860 --> 01:13:40,444 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the... 886 01:13:40,656 --> 01:13:44,195 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 887 01:13:45,702 --> 01:13:48,820 That's for being really weird. 888 01:13:49,039 --> 01:13:50,496 Thank you. 889 01:13:56,046 --> 01:13:58,003 I don't know what that was for. 890 01:14:04,513 --> 01:14:06,175 Hello. 891 01:14:07,891 --> 01:14:09,098 Why... 892 01:14:10,561 --> 01:14:13,770 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 893 01:14:14,648 --> 01:14:19,484 but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 894 01:14:19,987 --> 01:14:21,819 who wanted more than just sex. 895 01:14:24,408 --> 01:14:27,116 That is very admirable. 896 01:14:29,788 --> 01:14:32,701 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 897 01:14:33,166 --> 01:14:34,953 I feel the same way. 898 01:14:37,087 --> 01:14:38,874 And for once... 899 01:14:40,841 --> 01:14:44,050 I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 900 01:14:47,264 --> 01:14:49,096 That is appalling. 901 01:14:53,437 --> 01:14:55,394 That really upsets me. 902 01:14:56,732 --> 01:14:59,349 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 903 01:15:04,573 --> 01:15:06,155 Will you be that guy? 904 01:15:12,873 --> 01:15:16,787 It would be an honor and a privilege. 905 01:15:27,095 --> 01:15:28,586 Janey! 906 01:15:31,975 --> 01:15:33,216 Hello? 907 01:15:34,186 --> 01:15:36,018 Is anybody home? 908 01:15:36,563 --> 01:15:39,021 Get down! Enemy fire! 909 01:15:40,525 --> 01:15:42,187 Mr. Briggs? 910 01:15:42,402 --> 01:15:45,440 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 911 01:15:45,697 --> 01:15:50,158 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 912 01:15:50,661 --> 01:15:53,074 Right. Do you know where she went? 913 01:15:53,413 --> 01:15:56,076 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 914 01:15:56,291 --> 01:16:01,002 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 915 01:16:01,296 --> 01:16:03,458 Paris. Thank you, sir. 916 01:16:03,924 --> 01:16:07,634 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 917 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:16,593 Off the road, you glasses and ponytail freak! 918 01:16:29,741 --> 01:16:30,948 Two dollars! 919 01:16:31,410 --> 01:16:33,276 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 920 01:16:39,626 --> 01:16:41,788 Next stop, airport. 921 01:16:42,045 --> 01:16:46,585 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 922 01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:48,291 No parking. 923 01:16:48,510 --> 01:16:49,717 Attention, please. 924 01:16:49,928 --> 01:16:55,265 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 925 01:17:00,564 --> 01:17:04,103 Paris Air, Flight 805 to art school in Paris... 926 01:17:04,317 --> 01:17:06,559 from Gate 122, is now boarding. 927 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,367 Excuse me, everyone! 928 01:17:23,003 --> 01:17:27,213 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 929 01:17:28,759 --> 01:17:31,923 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 930 01:17:32,512 --> 01:17:34,128 I may never see her again. 931 01:17:39,186 --> 01:17:40,347 Go get her, son. 932 01:17:41,396 --> 01:17:42,682 Good luck, young man. 933 01:17:45,025 --> 01:17:46,857 - Go get her! - Go for it. 934 01:17:49,529 --> 01:17:50,895 Oh, hell, just go. 935 01:17:53,700 --> 01:17:54,781 Freeze, bitch! 936 01:18:05,754 --> 01:18:08,212 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 937 01:18:14,471 --> 01:18:15,507 Excuse me! 938 01:18:16,556 --> 01:18:17,967 Excuse me, everyone! 939 01:18:18,475 --> 01:18:24,267 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love and... 940 01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:27,807 We already heard that one. Asshole. 941 01:18:29,653 --> 01:18:34,614 This is the final call for Paris Air Flight 805 to art school... 942 01:18:34,825 --> 01:18:37,067 departing from Gate 122. 943 01:18:37,244 --> 01:18:38,860 Janey! 944 01:18:39,996 --> 01:18:41,328 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 945 01:18:42,415 --> 01:18:43,747 Give it back! 946 01:18:44,084 --> 01:18:47,794 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 947 01:19:01,143 --> 01:19:02,600 Nice shot, Jake. 948 01:19:04,855 --> 01:19:07,973 - Jake? - Janey. Thank God I got to you in time. 949 01:19:08,150 --> 01:19:11,564 Listen to me. I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 950 01:19:12,112 --> 01:19:14,900 - This is the final call... - Why not? 951 01:19:15,115 --> 01:19:17,323 for flight nonstop to art school. 952 01:19:17,534 --> 01:19:23,201 If you're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 953 01:19:23,373 --> 01:19:25,080 Janey... 954 01:19:26,459 --> 01:19:30,169 I made that bet before I knew you. 955 01:19:31,506 --> 01:19:33,839 Before I really knew me. 956 01:19:35,552 --> 01:19:36,838 Oh, Jake. 957 01:19:38,972 --> 01:19:40,713 Okay, hold it right there. 958 01:19:44,853 --> 01:19:48,142 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 959 01:19:50,066 --> 01:19:53,855 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 960 01:19:54,070 --> 01:19:56,483 I masturbate to that movie. 961 01:19:59,826 --> 01:20:00,907 Do you mind? 962 01:20:01,077 --> 01:20:04,286 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 963 01:20:07,959 --> 01:20:12,829 Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 964 01:20:13,173 --> 01:20:17,338 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 965 01:20:18,511 --> 01:20:19,592 Oh, Jake. 966 01:20:20,347 --> 01:20:24,216 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 967 01:20:24,392 --> 01:20:27,055 - That's from Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 968 01:20:27,854 --> 01:20:28,935 Trust me. 969 01:20:29,105 --> 01:20:34,351 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 970 01:20:34,527 --> 01:20:38,441 Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive Popular-Boy routine. 971 01:20:38,698 --> 01:20:39,779 It's pathetic. 972 01:20:39,991 --> 01:20:43,325 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 973 01:20:43,536 --> 01:20:45,198 Stop being such a little bitch. 974 01:20:46,456 --> 01:20:51,292 And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 975 01:20:51,753 --> 01:20:56,214 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop being such a dumb-ass. 976 01:20:59,803 --> 01:21:01,214 She's right. 977 01:21:01,930 --> 01:21:04,138 - Janey... - Yes, Jake? 978 01:21:06,810 --> 01:21:09,518 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 979 01:21:11,731 --> 01:21:15,441 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 980 01:21:15,652 --> 01:21:19,942 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 981 01:21:20,156 --> 01:21:21,397 Which is nice. 982 01:21:22,033 --> 01:21:26,528 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 983 01:21:26,746 --> 01:21:28,658 You'll find her thong and call me a slut. 984 01:21:28,957 --> 01:21:32,121 I'll call you a cocktease and we'll break up. 985 01:21:32,335 --> 01:21:36,079 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 986 01:21:39,259 --> 01:21:44,345 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 987 01:21:46,725 --> 01:21:51,390 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big of a dumb-ass do you think I am? 988 01:21:51,563 --> 01:21:54,180 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 989 01:21:54,816 --> 01:21:56,603 No, actually, I... 990 01:21:56,901 --> 01:21:59,393 Jake, it's okay. 991 01:21:59,904 --> 01:22:01,736 I love you too. 992 01:22:01,906 --> 01:22:03,613 We all know where this is going. 993 01:22:04,284 --> 01:22:06,321 Fucking teenagers. 994 01:22:15,795 --> 01:22:17,206 This is it. 995 01:22:17,380 --> 01:22:18,871 The right moment. 996 01:22:33,605 --> 01:22:35,471 Son of a bitch! 997 01:22:54,667 --> 01:22:55,953 Betty... 998 01:22:56,961 --> 01:22:59,078 meet Apollonia. 999 01:22:59,255 --> 01:23:01,668 We're going to have a three-way. 1000 01:29:04,787 --> 01:29:07,700 Sun's burned my cornea 1001 01:29:08,374 --> 01:29:12,038 I can no longer see 1002 01:29:12,628 --> 01:29:17,669 I'm not kidding Somebody please fucking help me 1003 01:29:21,053 --> 01:29:22,760 Quick! Grab her guitar.