My grandma and your grandma
Sittin' by the fire
My grandma said to your grandma
I'm gonna set your flag on fire
Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now
Iko, iko, unday
Jockamo feeno ai nane
Jockamo fee nane
Look at my king all dressed in red
Iko, iko, unday
Betcha $5.00 he'll kill you dead
Jockamo fee nane
Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now
Iko, iko, un day
Jockamo feeno ai nane
Jockamo fee nane
My flag boy and your flag boy
Sittin' by the fire
My flag boy said to your flag boy
I'm gonna set your flag on fire
Talkin' 'bout hey, now, hey, now
Iko, iko, un day
Jockamo feeno ai nane
Jockamo fee nane
Hey, now
Jockamo fee nane
Iko
I spoke to Mr. Babbitt on that just this morning.
I'm still sitting on four Lamborghinis
that can't make the smog emission standards.
Now, how many times you wash out with EPA?
Yes, they're finally clearing EPA. Just one or two more days.
Three times? We're really on a roll here, my friend.
Four cars, three times each. That's zip for 12.
What are you? A mechanic or a NASA engineer?
Now, listen. I told you I've never dealt with these Lamborghinis before,
and yet you assured me that you could deliver these cars within that time frame.
Don't tell me that, 'cause I'm not even listening.
Well, sir, I hardly think that's necessary.
Well, I'll explain that to my swing loan. I'm sure he'll be very sympathetic.
I'm into him for 200,000. That's thousand, my friend, three zeros.
I got all my money tied up in these cars,
and if I don't get my money out,
I am over, I am finished. Do you understand that?
You have to understand our situation here.
I don't give a shit about your problems. I got a shark snapping at my heels here.
They could've taken the car and my business 11 days ago.
They're collateral, for Christ's sake.
Got to hold 'em off with a whip and a chair here.
I understand that, I know delivery is way overdue.
Fuckin' EPA...
Whole world is choking on smog,
and they're gonna correct the situation
by keeping my four cars off the road?
Babbitt Collectibles.
Have you tried cash? How much can one of these EPA guys earn in a week?
Charlie, it's Wyatt.
- Wyatt? - Yeah.
About the swing loan.
If he doesn't get the money by 5:30,
he's gonna come and seize all the cars.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
I really think you should talk to Mr. Babbitt on this.
Tell him that you don't understand. I signed a check on Tuesday,
you personally watched me sign it, and then you gave it to the mail girl.
Come on! I need this!
Come on!
I wouldn't do that, sir, until you talk to Mr. Babbitt personally.
A number for him? No, he's on the road just now.
- He wants you to call him immediately. - Charlie.
Just tell him I'm connecting to Barbados,
arriving 1:30 a.m., can he leave a number?
- Charlie! - What, Lenny?
I'm standing here. Talk to me, talk to me.
Mr. Bateman wants to back out on his car and he wants to take Mr. Webb with him.
They want their down payments back.
They found two cars at Valley Motors, and they want to go that way.
Tell him that was me on the other line,
that the cars just passed emissions,
that the EPA paperwork will be in here momentarily...
- You paying attention, Lenny? - Yeah, I am, I'm listening.
Tell them also that I'm knocking off five grand on both their deals
because I appreciate their patience.
- Now, do you understand that? - I understand that, I've got it.
- Are you sure that you've got that? - I got it.
Mr. Bateman, that was Mr. Babbitt on the other line.
As it happens, the cars are passing emissions...
What am I saying? The cars have passed emissions.
We're just waiting for the EPA paperwork. We'll have that momentarily.
And because of your incredible patience,
we're going to knock off $5,000 on each car.
Well, yes, you've been most patient.
We really appreciate your patience.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Ready for Palm Springs?
Charlie, you still want to go with all these problems?
We're seconds away from closing this deal, clearing 75 grand.
Not bad for a couple of phone calls, huh?
No, not bad at all.
You know where to find us, right, Lenny?
Right. I got it under control.
Listen, I don't want to be demanding here,
but do you think, could you possibly say, I don't know, 10 or 12 words
before we get to the hotel?
Consider it foreplay.
Can you include me in some of your thoughts?
I'm just thinking.
You know, nothing special. I'm just thinking.
Maybe there's something that you're thinking about that we can talk.
You know, make a little conversation.
If there's something to talk about, Susanna, we'd be talking about it.
I'm just thinking. What's the big to-do about me thinking here?
I don't know, Charlie. I just feel like
I'm going away for a few days with someone.
Call me crazy.
Okay, you wanna talk, let's talk.
- How was your day? - I don't want to talk! I feel like...
- you're excluding me from what's going on. - No, let's talk!
It's not that I want to talk.
One of these again, Susanna. How did we get back to one of these?
I don't know why I put up with all this.
You wanted to go to Palm Springs, and we're going to Palm Springs.
Yes, but I didn't want to go alone.
I've been sitting in this car for more than an hour and a half...
You want to talk, let's talk! Let's talk!
This is not talking, this is you going like...
Yeah.
Charlie, this is Lenny.
I've been trying to contact you for a while.
I got a long-distance call from a Mr. Mooney,
your father's lawyer. He's been trying to reach you.
Your father has died, Charlie.
- Charlie? - Uh-huh.
I'm sorry. The funeral's tomorrow in Cincinnati.
He said you'd know where.
I've got his number.
That's not necessary. Anything else?
No, that's it. Listen, Charlie, if there's anything I can do...
- All right. - ... just call...
Sorry about the weekend, hon.
Charlie, the weekend?
Look, I told you before, we had a falling out a long time ago.
My mother died when I was two. It was just him and me.
We just didn't get along.
You're going to the funeral, no?
Yeah.
I'm coming with you.
That's really sweet, but there's really no point, you know?
I want to. That's the point.
All right. Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to.
for our memory, admiration
and respect for him
will live beyond the years of his life on Earth.
Let us consecrate ourselves to follow his example
of zest for life,
dedication to family,
and charity to all.
And now, with sure and certain hope of resurrection, life,
we commend to you the soul of our departed friend.
Just have to go over the details of the will with him tonight,
then we're outta here.
Sure, I can wait in the car if you like.
Somebody should be watering those roses, they're all dying.
I knew this car my whole life. Only drove it once.
It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster convertible.
Only 8,000 production models made. Straight-8. Fireball-8.
It was the first full year of the Dynaflow transmission.
I know it by rote.
You were his only child.
You came along when he was, what, 45 or something?
Probably thought he was never going to have a son.
So he had to love you.
I think you're exaggerating.
You were his child, his son, his blood.
Anyway, in these pictures here, he doesn't look like a man
- who doesn't love his child. - What are you doing looking at this?
- Put that away. - No.
Put that away. You wanna hear a story?
- I'll tell you one story. - But don't get mad.
I'm just saying. You know the convertible in the garage? His baby.
- That and the goddamn roses. - Buick.
The car was off-limits to me. "That's a classic," he'd say.
"It commands respect. It's not for children."
Tenth grade, I'm 16 years old, and for once,
I bring home a report card and it's almost all A's.
I go to my old man, "Can I take the car out?"
Take the guys out in the Buick, sort of a victory drive.
He says no.
I take it anyway. I steal the keys, I sneak it out.
You took the car with no permission?
- Yes. - Why? Why then?
Because I deserved it.
Nothing I did was good enough for this guy.
Don't you understand that?
We're on Columbia Parkway, four kids.
- We get pulled over. - An accident?
Pulled over.
- What is pulled over? Police? - Yes, police.
- Can I finish? - Yes.
He called in a report of a stolen car,
not his son took the car without permission,
just stolen. Central station, the other guys' dads bail them out in an hour,
- he left me there two days. - He left you in prison for two days?
Two days.
Were you scared?
Yeah, I was scared.
Left home. I never saw him again.
Charlie, after a year we've been together,
this is the first time I've heard this story.
It's strange, no?
I mean, how can you keep all this inside you and not say anything?
When I was a kid and I got scared,
the Rain Man would come and sing to me.
Rain what?
You know, one of those imaginary childhood friends.
What happened to him?
Nothing. I just grew up.
Not so much.
"And I remember, too, the day you left home,
"so full of bitterness and grandiose ideas,
"so full of yourself.
"And being raised without a mother,
"the hardness of your heart is understandable, as well.
"Your refusal to even pretend that you loved or respected me,
"all these I forgive.
"But your failure to write, to telephone,
"to reenter my life in any way,
"has left me without a son.
"I wish you all I ever wanted for you.
"I wish you the best."
"I hereby bequeath to my son, Charles Sanford Babbitt,
"that certain Buick convertible,
"the very car that, unfortunately, brought our relationship to an end.
"Also, outright title to my prize-winning hybrid rosebushes.
"May they remind him of the value of excellence
"and the possibility of perfection.
"As for my home and all other property, real and personal,
"these shall be placed in trust
"in accordance with the terms of that certain instrument
"executed concurrently herewith."
The last part, what does that mean?
It means that the estate,
in excess of $3 million after expenses and taxes,
will go into a trust fund
for a beneficiary to be named in this document.
Who is that?
I'm afraid I can't tell you that.
Who controls the money? You? You control the money?
No, it's called a trustee.
What is that? How does that work? How does that work?
Forgive me, but there's nothing more I can say.
Now, I'm sorry, son. I can see that you're disappointed.
Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed?
I got rosebushes, didn't I? I got a used car, didn't I?
What's-his-name got... What'd you call him?
- Beneficiary. - Right, beneficiary. He got $3 million.
But he didn't get the rosebushes. I got the rosebushes.
I definitely got the rosebushes.
- Charles... - I definitely got the rosebushes.
- I mean, those are rosebushes. - There is no need...
To what?
To be upset?
If there is a hell, sir,
my father is in it, and he is looking up right now
and he is laughing his ass off. Sanford Babbitt,
you want to be that guy's son for five minutes? Did you hear that letter?
- Were you listening? - Yes, sir, I was. Were you?
No. Could you repeat it? I can't believe my fuckin' ears.
I was looking for you.
How did it go?
I got what I expected.
Susanna, this could take a few minutes.
Can I help you?
Yes, I think you can.
I have a problem with a private trust...
- That's a terrific suit. - Thank you.
My father was Sanford Babbitt...
Is this Wallbrook?
Excuse me. Is this Wallbrook?
Excuse me.
Dr. Bruner is still in conference.
Would you like to wait in his outer office?
No, we'll stay here. Thank you.
Maybe we're not supposed to be looking around here, no?
Good to have you here. Good luck to all three of you.
$20 starts you all off on a very important match, starts with this.
In what 1980 comedy film did Goldie Hawn get away from it all? Lisa?
- Lisa? - Private Benjamin.
Excuse me, please. I want to watch the TV, please.
For whose grandson
was the presidential retreat Camp David named? Lisa?
- Eisenhower. - That's right. For David Eisenhower.
You've got another five. $10 lead for Lisa.
In days of yore, what would a swashbuckler keep in his sheath?
Whatever this is, I don't understand the point of secrecy.
This patient is an old girlfriend of my father's?
Mr. Babbitt, I knew your father since you were two years old.
The year my mother died.
Look, I'm trustee of the fund,
but this hospital receives nothing from that.
That hardly seems fair. Maybe that's something that we could discuss.
I took on this burden out of loyalty to your father.
That's where my loyalty ends.
And you think I should feel a little of that loyalty?
I think you feel cheated out of your birthright
by a man who had difficulty showing love.
And I think if I were in your shoes, I'd probably feel the same.
I was hoping that we could talk,
that you would explain my father's side of it,
help me understand the right in what he's done,
because, failing that, I have responsibilities of my own,
and they have to be met, even if that means a fight.
Sorry, this is not your car. It's my boyfriend's.
Yeah, my dad lets me drive slow on the driveway.
I'm an excellent driver.
Are you sure that you drive this car?
There's only 28 miles on the odometer since I drove it a week ago, last Saturday.
Should be more than 28 miles.
Look, my boyfriend is coming.
Course, today's Monday.
I always drive the car on Saturday, never drive on Monday.
What is this? Who is this guy?
I don't know, he jumped into the car.
Well, he can jump out.
I'm an excellent driver.
That's good. Come on, come on.
Why did you let him get in this car? It's not a toy.
He says he... He says he drives this car.
Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway every Saturday.
Course, the seats were originally brown leather, now they're pitiful red.
You know, these seats were brown leather.
You know this car?
I know this car.
How do you know this car?
Definitely know this car. It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster.
Straight-S, Fireball-8. Only 8,095 production models.
Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway, but not on Monday.
Definitely not on Monday.
- Who's your dad? - Sanford Babbitt.
Sanford Babbitt?
10961 Beechcrest Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
That's my address. What is it with this guy?
Hey, who's your mother?
Eleanor Babbitt.
Eleanor?
Died January 5, 1965, after a short and sudden illness.
Who the hell are you?
- Uh-oh. - Huh?
Wait a second, where are you going?
Thirteen minutes to Judge Wapner and The People's Court.
Hold it, wait a second here, I want to ask you a question.
(MUTTERING) "What you are witnessing is real. The participants are not..."
Hey, I'm talking to you!
Bruner, who is this guy?
Raymond is your brother.
"... have their dispute settled here in our forum,
"The People's Court."
My brother? I don't have a brother.
"... court cases, and have their dispute settled here in our forum,
"The People's Court."
The People's Court.
Hello, I'm Doug Llewelyn,
and welcome to The People's Court.
What, is he crazy? No.
- Is he retarded? - Not exactly.
Well, he's not crazy, he's not retarded, but he's here.
He's an autistic savant.
I don't know what that means.
Some people like him used to be called idiot savants.
They have certain deficiencies, certain abilities.
Yeah, but he's retarded.
Autistic. Actually, high-functioning.
What does that mean?
It means that there's a disability
that impairs the sensory input and how it's processed.
English here. You're talking over my head.
Raymond has a problem communicating and learning.
He can't even express himself,
or probably even
understand his own emotions in a traditional way.
and after that, the dog bit him.
I yelled at my dog, the dog laid down...
There are dangers everywhere for Raymond.
Routines, rituals, it's all he has to protect himself.
Rituals. That's a good one.
It's the way he acts,
sleeps, eats,
uses the bathroom, walks, talks, everything.
Any break from the routines, and it's terrifying.
How long has he been here?
Well, let's see. I came here in 1960.
No, how old is he?
He was 18 or 20 then. I'd have to check the records...
- You've been here that long? - That's when I actually started.
So that's '65, '75, '85.
I was almost three years old and you knew he had a brother,
you knew I was his brother.
Yes, but what's the point?
What's the point? What's the fuckin' point is
why didn't anybody tell me I had a brother?
What would you have done about it?
I don't know.
Does he know how much money he's been left?
No, he doesn't understand the concept of money.
He doesn't understand the concept of money.
He's just inherited $3 million,
and he doesn't understand the concept of money?
(CHUCKLING) That is fucking poetic,
don't you think?
Good old Dad.
name's yes. Then who's playing first? Yes.
I mean the fellow's name on first base. Who.
The fellow playing first base for St. Louis. Who.
- What are you asking me for? - What is this? Why is he doing that?
(MUTTERING) Whenever he gets nervous, he does "Who's on First?"
- You know, from Abbott and Costello. - Yeah. Why?
Why? It's his way of dealing with you touching things, his books and stuff.
So he memorized "Who's on First?"
Yeah, that among other things.
Raymond, Ted Klus-zesski.
- Kluszewski. Kluszewski.
Kluszewski, Ted Kluszewski, Big Klew, first base.
He played for Cincinnati?
Course, he was traded for Dee Fondy, 1957.
- Lifetime batting average.298. - All these great books. He reads, huh?
Reads and remembers whatever he gets his hands on.
Oh, Vern. V-E-R-N!
Course, these people are gonna be here all day, Vern.
This is an unannounced visit, Vern.
This is definitely not a weekend visit, Vern.
- He's getting anxious. It's okay, Ray! - Oh, Vern!
This is an unannounced visit, Vern.
Put it back. He said not to touch the books.
Not to touch books.
- You like Shakespeare, Ray? - I don't know.
- Did you read all this? - I don't know.
- You don't know? - Vern.
- Did you read Macbeth? - I don't know. Vern.
- You read Hamlet? - I don't know. Vern!
- Read the Twelfth Night? - Stop it!
- (QUIETLY) Yes. - Yes?
Yes.
You read all these stories that are in this book,
and you don't know if you read the book?
I don't know. V-E-R-N.
You don't know?
Maybe you better put it back.
You don't know, okay. No, Ray, take it easy, I'm not going to...
I won't touch anything else, Ray.
It's okay, Ray. It's okay. Come on.
My main man.
Yeah, Vern, my main man.
My main man, Vern.
- It's okay, Ray. - Yeah.
- My main man. - Yeah, my main man.
Here.
Here are your cards.
I'm sorry, I didn't know where you want me to put them.
(STAMMERING) Are you taking any prescription medication?
He likes you. That's just his way of showing it.
Uh-oh.
When I touched him before, he pulled away.
Don't take it personal.
He never touched me.
I'm closer to him than anybody in the world.
Known him for nine years.
It's not in him.
If I left town tomorrow and didn't say goodbye...
- Uh-oh. - ... he'd never notice.
He wouldn't notice if you left?
I'm not sure, but I don't think people are his first priority.
Hey, Ray, you want to go take a walk?
Hmm? Ray?
Ray?
Can he hear us when he's like that?
Hey, man. You wanna show your brother your ducks?
Course, it's 27 minutes to Jeopardy!
Don't worry, Ray, we'll bring you right back.
Practically 26 minutes to Jeopardy!
We'll bring him right back.
26 minutes to Jeopardy!
I won't do it.
I can't do it.
First of all because of your tone of voice, this commanding...
You're upset. Just calm down.
And second thing is because you didn't tell me why.
- Raymond, I'm gonna talk to Susanna alone. - Bye, Raymond.
Susanna, just hold on. Okay? I'll be right back.
No. Just stay.
Just stay there.
No, Raymond. Raymond. Raymond. Raymond!
Just stay there. Just stand still, okay? That's good.
Okay, I'll do it if you tell me why. Why do I do, uh...
What?
Why do I have to take the car and go down there
and wait for you again at the gate?
- I've been waiting for you for days. - No.
- Why? - It's for Raymond.
The car disturbs him.
- That's why? - That's why.
Okay, Raymond.
What are you looking at, Ray?
Ray, the ducks are over here, what are you looking at?
I don't know.
Listen, our father died.
Did you know that he died last week, did they tell you that?
I don't know.
You don't know if they told you, or you don't know what dead is?
That means he's gone. He's not with us anymore. He's at the cemetery.
You want to go see him at the cemetery, Ray?
I don't know.
Does that mean maybe? Does that mean maybe you wanna go?
I don't know.
You know, I live in Los Angeles.
I thought maybe you'd go to Los Angeles, like to see a Dodger game.
Go see the Dodgers play.
Today's an off day.
We don't have to go today.
Monday. No games scheduled.
Just thought maybe you'd like to go to Los Angeles with me,
you know, go see Fernando Valenzuela pitch.
Fernando Valenzuela pitched Saturday. Not scheduled to pitch till Wednesday.
- He's gonna pitch on Wednesday? - Wednesday.
I'm not doing anything on Wednesday.
Yeah, Wednesday.
- Let's go to L.A. - Yeah.
Come on, Ray.
Course, it's a long way to California.
I'm definitely not supposed to be off the grounds for more than two hours.
Definitely have to be back in two hours.
Wait till you get there. The people, crowds cheering. You'll love it.
Have to be back in two hours.
- Here's the Presidential Suite. - Dinner's at 6:30 p.m.
And to the left is Raymond's room.
Look at this big, beautiful room, huh, Ray?
This is not my room, this is definitely not my room.
It's just for tonight, Ray.
Have to go back to Wallbrook for dinner.
Little guy, little guy! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is gonna be terrific.
We're brothers. Dr. Bruner wants us to spend time together.
We're gonna have some fun.
- When did he say that? - He said that.
Course, I don't have my tapioca pudding.
We have tapioca pudding for dessert.
Yeah, well, we can do that. We can work tapioca pudding, I'm gonna call Lenny.
Course, this is definitely not my room, and I don't have my tapioca pudding,
and the bed's in the wrong place.
That's definitely not my bed.
You don't like it there, you can move it.
- Where do you want the bed, Raymond? - Should be near the window.
Course, I don't have my books.
Course, there are no bookshelves.
I'm definitely out of books. I'm gonna be bookless.
Here's a book.
Big telephone book, huh? Lot of words.
Lenny, pick up, will you?
I got $200,000 about to go in the shit house,
and he doesn't wanna answer the phone.
What is it, 6:00 here? That means it's 9:00 there, huh, Susanna?
- No, it's 3:00 there. - 6:30 p.m. is dinner.
It's 3:00 there.
It's 3:00, he doesn't want to answer the phone?
Orange soda.
Has to be in a can with a straw. Room temperature.
Bruner told you that you should do this?
- Huh? - It doesn't make sense to me.
I know what's good for him.
Uh-oh!
Uh-oh! V-E-R-N!
Oh, God. Go see what he's doing, will you?
Ray?
- V-E-R-N! Home... Home... - What is it, Ray? Huh?
What's happening, homes?
- Uh-oh. - It's fine, everything is fine.
Charlie, let's take him home. Come on.
No, he's okay.
We'll just get him some dinner, he'll be all right.
What'd you say you wanted? Hamburger?
Hamburger, Ray? Huh?
Course, we have pepperoni pizza Monday night for dinner.
Pizza? You get pizza in the institution?
Course, Monday night's Italian Night.
Hello, offices of Mitchell & Mitchell.
Yeah, get me Stu. This is Charlie Babbitt calling.
I'm sorry, he's not here.
Where is he? I got a bit of a legal problem here.
He's out of town until tomorrow afternoon.
All right, I'll call him tomorrow.
No TV during dinnertime. Definitely not.
Yes, but we can watch TV here.
- We can. We're allowed. - Yeah. Yeah.
"Wheel of Fortune!
"Look at this studio filled with glamorous merchandise,
"fabulous and exciting bonus prizes.
"A pair of cars for today's busy couple.
"Thousands of dollars in cash.
"Over $150,000 just waiting to be won
"as we present our big bonanza of cash
"on Wheel of Fortune."
Yeah, room service, Suite 21. I'd like to order a large pizza.
Pepperoni, right?
No, I don't want pepperoni.
That's right. A large pepperoni.
- How long's that going to take? - 20 minutes.
Bring some beer up for two, and orange soda.
Tapioca pudding, you got tapioca pudding?
No, sir, we don't have any.
Well, just bring the closest thing. All right, great.
- Here, Ray. - Yeah.
- Take this, and food is coming shortly. - Yeah. Yeah.
- And I'll be right back. - Yeah.
Course, I'm going to be here for a long time. A very long time.
I'm gone for good, gone for good from my home.
If I had said anything, or did anything...
Get out of here!
It's all right, Susan.
J.J., it's lucky I came right over after I got your message.
I got here as quickly as I could, but...
What message?
Well, be that as it may, someone called me...
Oh, si, si. - Si.
It's just lucky I got your message and came over here in time.
Why?
J. J., Susie was so depressed she tried to kill herself.
Ah. - Uh.
Uh-huh. - Uh-huh.
What is that?
- I think Raymond is in the room. - What?
Raymond, are you in here?
Charlie, Charlie Babbitt.
Well, get out.
Get out!
- Go! Stop it!
Uh-oh.
- Jesus Christ! - Stop it.
Go in there with him.
- Come on, Charlie, go in there. - What?
- He's your brother. - Why?
He's afraid. He doesn't understand this.
Come on, go in there!
Raymond, what were you doing in my room? Raymond. Raymond!
- What were you doing in my room? - I don't know.
You don't know what you were doing in my room.
- Course, there were noises. - There were noises.
Well, those noises are none of your business, you understand that? Huh?
Put the phone book down, stop acting like an idiot, and go to sleep.
(YELLING) Hey, did you hear what I said? Go to sleep!
Go to sleep!
Course, it's nine minutes to 11:00. Lights out at 11:00.
Yeah, well, new rules.
You don't listen to me. You don't listen to me.
What? What are you talking about?
I asked you to go there and apologize. You went there and insulted him again!
What am I supposed to do, tuck him in? I'm not his mother.
Charlie, you're his brother. His brother! They tell you today for the first time
that you have a brother, and I don't see in your face
- one little reaction. - Take it easy. Take it easy.
I'm not saying joy, I'm saying something.
Take it easy, you don't know what I'm going through here.
No, I don't know what you're going through.
What are you going through? Because I don't know.
Because you don't tell me anything.
- You just give me lies, lies, lies. - Lies, lies? What lies?
The thing that Dr. Bruner asked you to bring him here, this is bullshit.
I know it's not true. So why don't you tell me, why is he here?
'Cause I'm pissed at him.
- At who? - At my father.
You're pissed at your father, and you bring Raymond here why?
I don't know why. 'Cause I got him and they want him.
- This makes no sense! - Raymond was left all the money,
- and I got nothing. - How much?
$3 million. The inheritance, every penny of it.
- So? - So I'm gonna keep him till I get my half!
I deserve that!
What is this? Huh? Susanna?
- Just take it easy here. - I've had enough.
What? You've had enough? What does that mean, you've had enough?
I've just had enough, I'm leaving.
- You're leaving? - Yes.
You're leaving me now? I need you.
- I need you now. - What? You need nobody.
What does that mean?
What? Just take it easy. What is my crime here?
- What is my goddamn crime? - Your crime is that you use people!
You're using Raymond! You're using me!
You use everybody.
I'm using Raymond? Raymond!
Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you, Raymond?
- Yeah. - Shut up!
He is answering a question from a half-hour ago!
What good is $3 million to him?
That money is only just gonna sit there for the rest of his life.
And I need that money, you know I need that money!
Yeah, you need them, so it's hardly like stealing, no?
And when it's over, what happens to Raymond?
He'll go back to Wallbrook, or a better place.
(STAMMERING) With the money, I will put him in a better place.
What difference does it make? He is gonna be just the same!
Only you have his money, yeah!
His money? That man was my father, too.
What about my fuckin' half? Where's my fuckin' half?
I'm entitled to that money!
You've kidnapped this man!
- I did not take him. - Yes, you did.
I did not take him, I took my half.
Which half? You're crazy!
Yeah, it runs in the family.
You're wet, soaking wet and you're gonna leave in the middle of the night.
Would you just... Just wait!
My father has stuck it to me all my life.
- What do you want from me? - I want out.
Out.
Stop it.
Good morning. Coffee?
Yes. That'd be good.
Sally Dibbs. Dibbs, Sally.
461-0192.
How did you know my phone number?
How'd you know that?
You said read the telephone book last night. Dibbs, Sally.
461-0192.
He remembers things, little things sometimes.
Very clever, boys. I'll be right back.
How'd you do that?
- I don't know. - You memorized the whole book?
No.
- You start from the beginning? - Yeah.
- How far did you get? - "G."
- "G"? - "G." Gottsaken.
William Marshall Gottsaken.
- You memorized to "G"? - Yeah, "G."
A, B, C, D, E, F, G?
"G." Half Of "G."
- That's good, Ray. - Yeah.
- I like that. - Yeah.
We hungry?
- Yeah, Tuesday we have pancakes. - Pancakes.
- That sounds good. We'll get some pancakes. - Yeah, with maple syrup.
- Hey, bet your butt. - Bet your butt.
Uh-oh.
- They got pancakes. - Uh-oh.
What is this, Ray?
(STAMMERING) Course, I don't have my tooth picks.
No, you don't need toothpicks.
That was okay in the hotel last night with the pizza,
but in a restaurant, you eat with a fork.
Course, I don't have my tooth picks.
You don't need toothpicks, Ray.
Pancakes keep sliding off. You're gonna eat with a fork.
I don't have my maple syrup, either.
I'm gonna be without my maple syrup and my toothpicks.
You don't see any pancakes, do you, Ray?
Course, your promised maple syrup is not here.
Ray? When we order the pancakes, they're gonna bring the maple syrup.
Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes.
We haven't ordered yet, Ray.
Course, when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes,
it'll definitely be too late.
How is that gonna be too late? Huh, Ray?
We haven't ordered the pancakes yet. How is that gonna be...
(STAMMERING) We're gonna be here the entire morning
with no maple syrup and no toothpicks,
I'm definitely, definitely not gonna have my pancakes with...
- Ow! - Ray.
- (QUIETLY) Don't make a scene. - Ow!
Stop acting like a fuckin' retard.
Uh-oh.
What is this, what are you writing?
What the fuck is this?
"Serious... Serious injury list"?
"Charlie Babbitt. Serious injury list"?
What, are you fuckin' kidding me?
"Number 18 in 1988.
"Squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck in 1988."
Squeezed and pulled and hurt your neck in 1988?
- Dr. Bruner, it's Charlie Babbitt. - Where are you, son?
It's not important. What matters is who I'm with.
You have to bring him back, Mr. Babbitt. Do you understand me?
No problem whatsoever. That'll be $1.5 million.
- I'm not greedy, I just want my half. - Uh-oh.
Raymond, don't touch that. That's dirty.
I can't do that, Mr. Babbitt. You know I can't.
Just bring him back, and bring him back now.
This is where he belongs.
I'm his brother. It's not like kidnapping, is it?
He's always been a voluntary patient here,
but that's beside the point.
The fact of the matter is, this is where he can get the best care.
We're talking about his well-being.
Yeah, let's just cut through the bullshit, okay?
Now, I am entitled to part of my father's estate.
If you don't want to cut a deal with me, I'll fly him back to Los Angeles,
stick him in an institution out there,
and we can have a custody battle over him.
Miss, he needs toothpicks.
Could you help him, get him some toothpicks? Thank you very much.
You want to battle me in the courts?
Think about that,
Dr. Bruner, think about that.
Or we can cut a deal right now.
I don't think you have any idea of the severity of Raymond's condition.
Toothpicks. He needs some toothpicks. Can we just get him...
- some toothpicks over here? - Yeah.
And I cannot, under any circumstances, make any money deals with you.
Then I'll see you in court.
Can I have the check? Sorry about the toothpicks.
82, 82, 82.
82 what, Ray?
- How much is this? - Toothpicks.
It's a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray.
Course, 246 total.
Keep the change.
Ray. How many toothpicks are in there?
250.
Pretty close. Come on. Let's go, Ray.
246.
There's four left in the box.
Course, I have to get my backpack.
Forgot my backpack.
MAN ON RADIO: 97X. The future of rock and roll.
97X. Bam. The future of rock and roll.
Ray. Ray.
Enough already. Change the channel.
97X. Bam. The future of rock and roll.
Lenny, I don't care what you think. Did they say that?
You're gonna have to be a lot more forceful with them.
Lenny, are you... Lenny, listen.
Lenny, Lenny, shut up a moment here.
I am in serious trouble here. I can't get to these cars. I can't get the money.
Do you understand that? My loan is past due.
Look, I'll call the loan office...
Lenny...
tell them we have a little problem.
Charlie, let me talk...
Lenny, just listen to me. I'll be in LAX in three hours, okay?
Now, remember the Buick is in A3, main terminal. Make sure they pick it up.
All right, well, right. We'll see you in a few.
Raymond, let's go. Raymond.
Ray! Ray, let's go. Come on.
- What are you watching, Ray? - I don't know.
You don't know?
Final call for Flight 1569,
service to Salt Lake City and Los Angeles.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Course, there's an airplane out there.
Yeah, that's right, and everybody's boarding. Let's go.
Airline travel's very dangerous.
Don't be silly. It's the safest travel in the world.
- You're gonna love this. Trust me. - Yeah.
- Now, come on. - Oh, no.
- Ray. - Yeah.
We're in an airport. People fly out of airports.
What did you think we were doing here this whole time?
Flying's very dangerous. 1987, there were 30 airline accidents.
211 were fatalities, 231 were definitely passengers.
This plane is very safe. Believe me.
I gotta get to L.A. I don't have time for this shit. Come on.
- I don't know, I don't know. - Ray, Ray...
- You don't know? - No.
- What is it? This airline? - Yeah.
- Is it this airline? - Yeah.
Okay, fine. We can...
There's an American plane...
American Flight 625 crashed April 27, 1976.
We don't have to take American, there's a lot of flights.
Yeah. Pick another airline.
Continental.
Continental crashed November 15, 1987.
Flight 1713. 28 casualties.
- This is very serious, Ray. - Very serious.
You see, I have to get to Los Angeles.
All right? So you're gonna get on that plane, do you understand me?
- Yeah. - You're gonna have to get on a plane.
Yeah, get on a plane.
Now, there's a Delta.
It leaves at midnight, Ray, but how's Delta?
Delta crashed August 2, 1985. Lockheed L-1011.
- Dallas/Fort Worth. - All right, Ray.
- Terrible wind shear. 135 passengers. - All airlines!
All airlines have crashed at one time or another.
That doesn't mean that they are not safe.
- Qantas. - Qantas?
Qantas never crashed.
- Qantas? - Never crashed.
Well, that's... That's going to do me a lot of good, Ray.
You see, Qantas doesn't fly to L.A. out of Cincinnati.
- You have gotta get to Melbourne. - Australia.
Melbourne, Australia in order to get the plane that flies to Los Angeles!
- Do you hear me? - Canberra's the capital.
16.2 million population. Very lovely beaches.
You and I are gonna get on this fucking plane!
No.
Ray, Ray, Ray!
We're not going to take the plane. He's okay, he's okay!
He's okay. We're not going to take the plane.
Ray. Ray, just...
Just relax. He was...
He was upset. We were gonna take the plane.
We're not gonna take the plane now. We're not gonna take the plane.
- We're not gonna fly, okay? - No flying.
- We're not gonna fly. - No flying.
- You tire me, Ray. - Yeah.
We're going to drive to Los Angeles. We're gonna drive to L.A.
Okay? Come on, Ray.
- Ray, come on. - Yeah.
- Come on. Here. - No flying.
Take the bag. We're not gonna take the plane, Ray. Just grab the fucking bag, man.
No flying.
You're killing me, Ray. I just want you to know you are killing me, man.
- No flying. - I got to be in L.A. in three hours,
it's gonna take me three days.
Come on. Come on.
No flying.
- No flying. - No flying.
Course, I got Jeopardy! at 5:00.
I watch Jeopardy! at 5:00.
- Don't start with that. - I've got Jeopardy! at 5:00.
Dispatch, this is1-0-9. Go ahead, 1-0-9.
See if you can get another unit up here for point control.
Two more over to you. 10-40.
Come on. Let's go!
- Bring some more up. - What's your E.T.A.?
Uh-oh.
Ray.
- Ray, get in the car. - Driving is dangerous.
Just get in the car. Are you crazy? Huh?
We'll be outta this in a second.
- Yeah. - That's good.
It's okay. That's right.
Yeah. We'll be outta here in a few seconds. That's good.
That's good. That's good.
There's definitely a fatal accident over there.
Ray. Ray.
Hey! We don't need your help up here. Go on back to your car.
Just a minute!
Ray. Ray. Ray.
Ray.
Excuse... Hey!
- Just wait... - There's nothing to see here.
Go back and get in your car.
Yes, sir.
- Wrecks just make him nervous. - Fine. Go back and get in your car.
Yes, sir. Just stay there by the side, okay, Raymond?
- Ray! Listen, Ray. Just stay there. - A lot of traffic.
Yeah. Definitely a lot of traffic.
Hell of a lot of work for $3 million.
Just leave him on the goddamn highway and just get the hell outta here.
Yeah. What? I hear ya! I hear ya!
Stay in your car!
What's it gonna be, Ray? What's it gonna be?
This is a very dangerous highway.
How am I gonna get to L.A.?
Course, driving a car on this interstate is very dangerous.
You wanna get off the highway? Will that make you happy?
- Yeah. - Yeah? Well, you gotta get in the car
in order to get off the highway!
Course, in 1986, 46,400 male drivers were definitely involved in fatal accidents.
All right, I got an idea. I got a great idea.
You'll stay in front of the car until we get off the exit.
You'll get in, and we'll take the not-so-dangerous road.
Whatever that might be.
- Is that an idea? - Yeah.
Come on. Give me five, Ray. That's a great idea.
- Yeah. - Give me five. Yeah. Yeah.
This guy's a fuckin' fruitcake.
I'm asking you. Who's on first? That's the man's name.
That's whose name? Yes. Go ahead and tell me.
Who? The guy on first. Who? The first baseman.
Who is on first.
Whose wife? Yes.
After all, the man earns it. Who does?
Absolutely.
All I'm tryin' to find out is what the guy's name on first base.
No. What is on second base.
I'm not asking you who's on second base. Who's on first?
That's what I'm tryin' to find out.
Get the hell in the car!
Don't change the players. Yeah, get in the car.
Get in the car.
Course, I have to be in bed by 11:00.
Lights out at 11:00. Have to watch TV.
Course, now it's almost 19 minutes to 11:00.
I have to be in bed at 11:00. Lights out.
Don't start with this. We're not flying. We're not on the interstate.
I'm on some shit secondary road. I gotta make up some time.
I gotta get to Los Angeles.
I should have been there this afternoon. My business needs me.
I gotta make up some time.
Definitely watch TV,
but you have to be in bed at 11:00. Lights out.
Forget it.
Uh-oh, 19 minutes to 11:00.
This is a good one.
"We don't go out when it rains."
This is a real good one, Ray. I hope you appreciate this,
because my business is going down the fuckin' toilet.
I should be in L.A.
Instead, I'm in the Honeymoon Haven Motel in Bumblefuck, Missouri,
because you won't go out when it rains.
It's mystifying. I mean, it's fucking mystifying.
What is this?
Good news, bad news?
We passed DOT, but failed EPA.
It all ends up the same. I can't get my money.
Yes, sir, I'm just stuck in Cincinnati since the funeral.
So many leftover details.
My family is, needless to say,
quite overwhelmed.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Well, it is a shock, to say the least.
Thank you. Is there any way I can get an extension on that loan?
Just a couple of days.
It would make a world of difference.
"We don't go out when it's raining."
What? Speak up, Lenny.
Lenny, I bought time, I didn't buy that kind of time.
What I want you to do is you're gonna have to... How much?
Course, it's 12:30. - What?
Lunch is 12:30.
- Hold on. What do you want for lunch? - Wednesday's fish sticks.
- Fish sticks? - Green lime JELL-O for dessert.
Green lime JELL-O. Want another apple juice?
I want orange soda. Oh, it's 12:31.
I gotta go. He's starting to rock and moan.
Yeah, it's definitely 12:32. - It's okay. No.
Course, there's four fish sticks.
There's supposed to be eight fish sticks.
Eight? There's eight.
You take a shower, Ray? Hmm? Ray?
- Ray, you take a shower, right? - Yeah.
- Right? - Yeah.
It's the same as the rain. You get a little wet.
What do you say, Ray? What do you say? Huh?
Course, the shower's in the bathroom.
That's the end of that conversation.
Go again. British Poetry for 200, please.
The answer at the top of the category.
"Shakespeare wrote over 150 poems in this 14-line form."
- What is a sonnet? - What is a sonnet?
- You got it. - Let's try Double Letters for 200.
The top of that one.
"The last word in the Pledge of Allegiance." Mark.
- What is "stands"? - No.
Stu, legally, Bruner never established a conservatorship of Raymond?
He didn't figure anyone would show up to contest his authority.
If that's the case, I definitely will get custody
- and the $3 million, right? Possibly.
Then you set up a date for the custody hearing.
Stu, I want a firm date, and I want it early.
I found that it was an original record,
because the original song had two verses...
Lenny, she hasn't come in, she hasn't called?
If you see her or hear from her,
tell her to call me at this number.
The Air Alpha Force, from Nike.
Would you look at that? 1957 Studebaker Golden Hawk.
Zero to 60 in under eight seconds.
275 supercharged horsepower under that hood.
- That's beautiful. - Course, I'm an excellent driver.
- You know how to drive? - Yeah.
When did you drive?
Course, I drove the Buick on the driveway
when my dad came to Wallbrook.
Was Dad in the car? Was Dad in the car, Ray?
Yeah.
And he let you drive the Buick?
Yeah, slow on the driveway.
I'll have to let you drive sometime.
- (HORN HONKING) - Raymond! Raymond! Raymond!
You never, never touch the steering wheel when I'm driving!
- Do you hear me? - Yeah.
Course, I don't have my underwear.
- What? - I'm definitely not wearing my underwear.
What are you talking about?
I gave you a fresh pair of mine this morning.
Not my underwear.
I told you to go in the bathroom and put them on. Where are they?
Course, they're in the pocket of my jacket.
- Where? - Here.
These are too tight.
- I don't want them back, Ray. - These are not boxer shorts.
Mine are boxer shorts.
- What's the difference? - These are Hanes 32.
My boxer shorts have my name.
- It says "Raymond." - All right.
When we pass a store, we'll pick you up a pair of boxer shorts.
I get my boxer shorts at Kmart in Cincinnati.
We're not going back to Cincinnati, Ray, so don't even start with that.
400 Oak Street.
You're not going back to Cincinnati.
You don't have to go to Cincinnati to pick up boxer shorts.
- It's Oak and Burnett, in Cincinnati. - What did I say, Ray?
It's Kmart.
You hear me. I know you hear me.
You don't fool me with this shit for a second.
Yours are too tight.
Ray, did you fuckin' hear what I said?
- Shut up! - Yeah.
Cincinnati's a long way off.
We're getting further away from Kmart.
You don't have to go to Cincinnati to get a pair of underwear at Kmart.
You have to go to Kmart. 400 Oak Street.
What'd I tell you, Ray? We're not going to Cincinnati. That's final.
I get my boxer shorts at Kmart.
Raymond, that is final! Do you hear me?
I'm gonna be short-less.
What difference does it make...
What difference does it make where you buy underwear?
What difference does it make?
Underwear is underwear!
It is underwear wherever you buy it!
In Cincinnati or wherever!
Kmart.
- You know what I think, Ray? - Kmart.
I think this autism is a bunch of shit!
'Cause you can't tell me you're not in there somewhere!
Boxer shorts.
Boxer shorts at Kmart.
These are... These are Hanes 32.
- You're driving me crazy. - Mine are boxer shorts.
We're gonna have to make a little stop and find a psychiatrist.
You're driving me crazy.
Oak and Burnett, that's where the shorts are.
'Cause you are driving me crazy.
We have to buy them at Kmart, Oak and Burnett.
We have to buy them back in... Uh-oh.
Course, your shorts are on the highway.
Let's go back to Cincinnati. Kmart.
Good luck trying to find a shrink in this town.
Raymond?
Hey, you. Hey, dipshit, move it!
If you ain't gonna move, I'll move you.
Hey, buddy. Hey, you!
- You're gonna get run over out here. - Hey! Hey!
- You're gonna get hurt. Come on. - It said, "Don't walk."
- Hey! Do you hear me? - Yeah. It said, "Don't walk."
Move it. Move it.
Hey, it's all right, sir.
I'm sorry. He's from out of town. Raymond?
- Come on. - Yeah.
- It's all right. - Gotta get to Kmart.
Raymond, Raymond, come on.
Kmart, 400 Oak Street.
It said, "Don't walk."
Yes, it's broken.
It said, "Don't walk."
- This way. - Have to get to Kmart.
400 Oak and Burnett.
Oak and Burnett.
He said, "Young man, go west,"
and this is the way our country developed
from the East Coast to the West Coast.
During that period of time there was initiated
what was known as the Pony Express.
I'm sure all of you have read something about it
in the history of the United States.
I may not have the days exactly right or the years,
but I'm more or less familiar with the history of the United States.
He's "artistic"?
No, he's autistic.
I'm not familiar with that.
What is the exact nature of the problem?
He lives in a world of his own.
I'm sorry, but what's wrong with him?
It was a problem gettin' mail from the East Coast...
Raymond, do a little of your "What's On First?" for her.
Who's on first. What's on second.
Huh?
They set up an initial program
where the Pony Express
would ride for approximately 20 miles...
What am I supposed to do?
There's gotta be something that I can do here.
I'm not a psychiatrist,
but I do know that his brain doesn't work like other people.
What he does isn't intended to be annoying.
If he's getting on your nerves, you just take a break.
Spend time away from him.
Sure, I'll just send him back.
- Sorry? - Nothing,
just kidding, it's an inside joke.
You're telling me I just have to deal with this stuff, is that it?
I just gotta deal with this stuff.
Yeah, that's about it.
Out of curiosity, does he have any special abilities?
Well, he's got a pretty good memory.
He counts toothpicks.
He spilled a box of toothpicks on the floor.
He took one look at them and he knew exactly how many there were.
He counted them in seconds.
Ray?
- Raymond? - Yeah.
Are you good with numbers?
Yeah.
I read about this. I want to try something here.
Kmart. 400 Oak Street.
What did I tell you? After this, Raymond. After this.
- Ray, can we try something? - Yeah.
Do you know how much 312 times 123 is?
38,376.
He's right.
- What? - He's right.
- He's right? - Yeah.
Ray, how much is 4,343
times 1,234?
5,359,262.
- He's a genius. - That's right.
He's a genius.
Ray, do you know how much the square root of 2,130 is?
46.15192304.
2304.
That's amazing.
That is amazing. He should work for NASA or something like that.
If you had a dollar, and you spent 50 cents,
how much money would you have left?
About 70.
- 70 cents? - 70 cents.
So much for the NASA idea.
Kmart. We should go to Kmart.
What'd I tell ya? After this, Ray.
400 Oak Street.
Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs?
About $100.
- $100, huh? - Yeah.
Do you know how much one of those new compact cars cost?
About $100.
In his particular case, he's pretty well-off, he's very high-functioning.
Most autistics, they can't speak or they can't communicate.
- Ray? - Yeah.
- Do you know what autistic is? - Yeah.
- You know that word? - Yeah.
Are you autistic?
I don't think so.
No, definitely not.
problem with the Lamborghinis, Charlie.
Just shut up a second. Let me see if I understood this.
Very small. Yeah.
It's gonna cost me $10,000 additional for each car.
- Course, it's very crowded in here. - Is that...
- It's very crowded in here. - Ray, please, just one second, okay?
Huh? What?
They wanna take out the manifold and the carburetors
in order to put in a fuel injection system now?
I mean, that is nonsense.
- I know that you're upset. - What are you doing?
- Too crowded in here for a backpack. - Just leave this on.
Yeah. It's gonna cost me $40,000 just to meet EPA now.
What? No. No. No.
You give me the number. I'm gonna call the conversion shop myself.
That's my pen. That's definitely my book.
Taking your book is not a serious injury.
For serious injury, look at the red book. That book is blue.
Forgive me. I've lost my secret decoder ring. 4-5-4-5.
- You're already number 18. In 1988. - Got it. 1988, I know.
It's my book. That's my pen.
Uh-oh. 12 minutes to Wapner.
It's definitely very small in here.
Small... and safe.
You don't wanna miss the party.
What you're witnessing is real.
Do you know that? There's a party in your honor, Ray.
When we get to L.A., a custody hearing. My lawyer's setting it up right now.
You know why there's a party for you? Because you're the 3-million-dollar man.
What you are witnessing is real.
Ken Aldorf.
- The participants are not actors. - Charlie Babbitt.
Uh-oh. Fart.
Yeah, Charlie Babbitt. I'll hold.
Uh-oh. Fart.
- Did you fart, Raymond? - Fart.
- Did you fuckin' fart? - Fart.
Oh, man. Get the smell out.
- How can you stand that? - I don't mind it.
How can you stand that?
- Yeah, Ken. - Ten minutes to Wapner.
Ken? How are you? This is Charlie Babbitt.
We're definitely locked in this box with no TV.
I just heard about this $10,000 charge for every car.
- They're definitely gonna start... - How can this be?
- How can this possibly happen right now? - The People's Court starts...
- I don't know. - You're telling me another $40,000.
They start on the button. They definitely start on the button.
I've got a problem. I'm gonna have to call you back from my next stop.
- We're not gonna make it to the program. - Okay, my next stop.
- Definitely have to go now. - Yes, we're going, Ray.
- Just take it easy. Just take it easy. - Eight minutes to Wapner.
Where am I gonna find a television around here?
- Eight minutes to Wapner. - We got eight minutes to Wapner.
Come on. Come on.
You wanna get in there and see the show? Huh? Huh, Raymond?
Wanna get in there and see the show? Then listen up.
There's not another farmhouse in sight. This is it, man.
You act weird, we don't get in. You listening to me?
Yeah.
I want you to look normal. As normal as possible, all right?
Just put your hands down. Don't rock and moan.
- Four minutes to Wapner. - Just shut up and stand there.
Yeah. Uh...
Raymond, don't rock and moan. Put your hands down.
Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm Donald Clemons from the A.C. Nielsen Company.
You're familiar with our work?
Nielsen... I... You mean the TV ratings?
Yes, ma'am. That's exactly it. You've been selected as a preliminary candidate
to become our next Nielsen family in the tri-county area.
- My husband's not home. - If selected...
you'll share the responsibility for shaping television programming
viewed by our entire nation
in return for which you'll receive a check in the amount of $286 each month.
- (HUMMING) - Who's he?
That would be my partner, Mr. Bainbridge, who does sample...
- Oh, boy. That's it.
You blew it. You don't get to see your program.
- It's finished. - One minute to Wapner.
One minute to Wapner. One minute to Wapner. One minute to Wapner.
I had you in there, Ray! You were in there.
Defendants! Plaintiffs! You had it all!
- Uh-oh. - They're in there making legal history, Ray.
- Legal history. - Oh! Oh, boy!
Oh, boy.
What is going on out here?
- I'm sorry, ma'am. I lied to you. - It's gonna be on.
I am very sorry about that. That man right there is my brother.
If he doesn't watch People's Court in about 30 seconds
he's gonna throw a fit right here on your porch.
Now, you can help me, or you can stand there and watch it happen.
We like to watch cartoons. You think he'd settle for that?
and she sees an identical twin.
True, he didn't have his shirt on, the other one did,
but they sure look alike to me.
If it got on his chest, even if it didn't burn or got real cold
- I put my hand on the dry ice. - Daddy's not here now.
I wanted to take it off quickly because it got very cold.
I also confess, I was afraid I might burn my hand.
If I take it and put it up against a bare chest...
Gary, work with me on this one. Believe me, I'm gonna take care of you.
- You know that song? - My judgment is for the...
We'll be back for the audience reaction
to Judge Wapner's decision right after these messages.
The head bone connected from the neck bone
The neck bone connected from the shoulder bone
The shoulder bone connected from the back bone
The back bone connected from the hip bone
The hip bone connected from the thigh bone
Thigh bone connected from the knee bone
The knee bone connected from the leg bone
The leg bone connected from the ankle bone
The ankle bone connected from the heel bone
- My credit card's been rejected? - Yes, sir.
Must be some accounting error.
- How much is this gonna cost? - $20, sir.
Hear the word of the Lord
Oh, dem bones, dem bones
Thank you.
Dem bones, dem bones
Now hear the word of the Lord
Hear the word of the Lord
Course, I'm never going back. It's gonna be a long time.
It's definitely going to be a long journey.
Just a couple of more days, Ray.
Yeah... You know the fella's name? Then who's playing first?
You mean the fellow playing first base for St. Louis?
We're gonna start with this again, Ray? It's just another motel.
You gotta do this every time?
That's the man's name. That's whose name?
What are you asking me for? I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.
Who's on first.
I'm asking you who's on first.
Yo, Ray.
Ray, this is not... It's not a riddle.
Yeah. You know the fellow's name? Then who's playing first?
You're never gonna figure out who's on first base, because Who is on first base.
That's a joke, Ray. It's comedy.
Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Whose wife?
- It's comedy, man. - Every dollar of it.
You got a first baseman on first? Yeah.
It's a routine between Abbott and Costello.
When you do it, you're not funny.
You're the comedy team of Abbott and Abbott.
You understand what I'm saying?
Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Whose wife? Yeah.
Ray, you are never going to solve it.
You know why you're never gonna solve it? 'Cause it's not a riddle, man.
If you understood that, if you understood that it's funny,
you might get better.
All I'm trying to find out is, what's the guy's name on first base?
What's the guy's name on first base?
No. What's the guy's name on second base.
Have you got a first baseman on first? Yeah.
Then who's playing first? Yeah.
Who's... You know the fellow's name? Yeah.
Then who's playing first?
The fella playing for St. Louis?
Who. The guy on first.
The first baseman. Who's on first.
What are you asking me for?
Have you got a first baseman on first? Yeah.
All right, Ray. Come on.
We're gonna put the bed by the window the way you like.
We got your apple juice.
We're gonna take the pens and paper out, we're gonna put 'em on the table...
What's the matter, Ray, did I forget something?
Cheese balls.
- Yes, I forgot the cheese balls. - Definitely have cheese balls.
But we got them.
I have to have 12 cheese balls.
I have to get my tartar control toothpaste.
We got that. I got that for you a couple of days ago.
Where's my tartar control toothpaste?
Raymond.
Raymond, remember when that doctor asked you those questions today?
- The number questions? - Yeah.
How did you do that?
- I see it. - Huh?
I see it.
What's that?
- Will you stop that for a second? - I see it.
Just put that down, will you?
I'm trying to talk to you.
When I say stop it, why don't you stop it?
Why do you always have to act like an idiot?
- You think that's funny? - Yeah.
Funny Rain Man. Funny teeth.
What did you say?
- Funny teeth. - Rinse.
Why did you say...
Why did you say funny teeth?
You said funny teeth, funny Rain Man.
Rain Man? I said Rain Man?
Yeah, funny Rain Man.
Was I trying to say Raymond, and it came out Rain Man?
Yeah, funny Rain Man.
You? You're the Rain Man?
Who took this picture?
D-A-D.
And you lived with us?
10961 Beechcrest Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
When... When did you leave?
January 21, 1965.
- You remember that? - It was Thursday.
Very snowy out.
7.2 inches of snow that day.
That's just after mom died, New Year's.
Mom died January 5, 1965.
And you remember that day? You remember that day that you left?
After short and sudden illness.
- You remember that day you left? - Yeah.
Was I there? Where was I?
You were in the window.
You waved to me. "Bye-bye, Rain Man."
So you were the one that sang to me?
Yeah.
(STUTTERING) What did you sing?
What was that song?
What did you sing?
Well, she was just 17
And you know what I mean
And the way she looked was way beyond compare
So how could I dance with another
When I saw her standing there?
Did I like it when you sang to me?
Yeah.
Did we sing any other songs? You like The Beatles?
Yeah.
Scary! Scary bad!
Scary bad!
It's scary!
- Scary bad! - (STUTTERING) What's scary bad?
What's scary bad?
Hot water burn baby!
Water!
"Hot water burn baby"?
- What baby? Me? Me? - Yeah.
Easy. Easy. Ray, Ray.
Hot water burn baby.
I'm not burned. Look at me. Please.
- Hot water burn baby! - Ray, please. Please!
Please! I'm not burned.
- I'm not burned. - Tub burn baby.
- I'm not burned, man. - Tub burn baby.
- I'm not burned. - Yeah.
I'm not burned. It's okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
It's okay.
Gotta go to Wallbrook now.
That's why they put you away.
They thought you'd hurt me.
(WHISPERING) Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.
What?
Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.
(WHISPERING) What, Ray?
Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.
What?
Come on, it's 11:00, Ray.
- Lights out. - Yeah.
Never hurt Charlie Babbitt.
Never, never hurt Charlie Babbitt.
There you go. Right where you like it, at the end of the bed.
Come on, Ray.
Hi, it's me.
Well, you didn't hang up. Does that mean we're engaged?
Listen, I...
I just wanna hear it's not over. I mean...
I'm scared it's over.
Don't ask me tonight, Charlie.
I don't know what to say. Let it sit.
That's something I'm not real good at.
There's a lot of things you're not good at.
I'll call you when I get back, okay?
Uh-huh.
I'll see you.
Ciao.
What are you looking at that for, Ray?
I just spent a couple of hundred dollars on a little TV,
and now you're watching a dryer.
I don't know.
'Cause believe me, Ray, at the shrink hearing, we're gonna have to prove
you prefer to watch this little TV,
as opposed to the clothes dryer.
- You understand that? - Yeah.
- You listening to me? - Yeah.
Turn this off, will you, when you're not watching it?
Yeah.
If you run down the batteries, then where are you gonna be at 3:00 when Wapner's on?
Yeah, the red one always falls the same.
Why aren't you listening to me?
You just don't want to listen to me, do you?
You want to go back to Wallbrook, is that it?
I gotta make a phone call.
Yeah, Lenny, it's me, listen...
Charlie, where have you been?
I've been sitting by this phone for three hours, man.
I had some things to do. I had to buy some clothes and stuff.
Clothes? Charlie, we are in serious trouble. Serious trouble!
What are you doing buying clothes?
Just take it easy. Take it easy.
I'm in Tucumcari. I'll be there in a few...
They repossessed the cars to pay off the loan.
The cars are gone, Charlie. Gone.
Bateman wants his down payment back. They all do.
That's 80 thou, Charlie.
$80,000.
I don't have it.
Look, you gotta pay these people back, or it's all over,
we're out of business.
What am I gonna tell them?
I don't know.
Son of a bitch!
Beyond the blue horizon
Lies the rising sun
Beyond the blue horizon
Waits a beautiful day
This would be a lot easier, Ray, if you just let me put the top up.
You wouldn't have to fry.
Put this lotion on you so you don't burn. All right?
- Oh. Oh. - Ray.
Don't start with that. You want me to put the top up?
I definitely like the top down.
Yes, I know that. Now, I don't want you to burn.
Yeah. Definitely like it when the top's... Ow. Ooh.
It's all right. Just take it easy. Take it easy.
- Oh, no. - It's almost over.
Uh-huh. All right. How does that feel?
Very slippery.
Maldonado swings and hits a hot shot through the box
into center field for a base hit.
One run is in.
Here's Brenly going to third.
The throw by Davis...
Not in time!
Brenly in safely at third base on Maldonado's single.
Looks like he held that ball
out in center field a little bit too long, don't you think so, Ed?
Take a look at it once again.
Treadwell played it way over towards the right side.
Shading him to pull.
Okay, here's Davis.
Yeah, he seems to hold it there just a bit, Tom.
Sort of double-pumped it, didn't he?
Watch it here on the replay again.
He loses all chance at a play on Brenly,
even though Brenly doesn't exactly pick 'em up and lay 'em down.
And the throw into third base finally is a little bit long...
Will you give me a break with this?
Can't.
Ray, stop it.
But there is something every woman needs
And a friendly smile will do it every time
Lonely women make good lovers
J-7.
K-7? What's that?
J-7.
What's J-7?
What's J-7? The song? The song's J-7?
Yeah.
Lonely women make good lovers
So if you've got a woman...
Look out there, Raymond.
- No, Raymond, out here. - Yeah.
"Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses."
What's the number?
E-5.
"Cheating Heart, Hank Williams."
Your Cheating Heart. Course, that's Hank Williams, Jr.
D-1. D-1.
"Blue Moon of Kentucky, Bill Monroe."
And the Blue Grass Boys. T-5.
How many toothpicks came out of that box, Raymond?
246.
- Yeah. - 246.
You paying attention? Yeah.
- You watching that? - Yeah.
You seeing that, Ray, you catching that?
Yeah, falling on the ground.
Okay. Now what...
What do I have left?
Two jacks, one 8, one king, one 6,
two aces, one 10, one 9, one 5.
- One 5. - Yeah.
You are beautiful, man.
I'm an excellent driver.
You can't drive now, Ray.
Are you listening to me? This is very important.
When there's lots of 10s left, 10s and picture cards left, it's good for us.
Now, come on, say it. "10s are good."
10s are good.
Okay, if you're going to bet one...
One if it's bad, two if it's good.
That's right. Two if it's good, Ray.
Now, listen, casinos have house rules.
The first one is, they don't like to lose.
So you never, never show that you are counting cards.
That is the cardinal sin, Ray.
Are you listening to me? That's very, very important.
Yeah. Counting is bad.
Yes, counting is bad.
I like to drive slow on the driveway.
You get this right, Ray,
you can drive wherever you want as slow as you like.
I'm an excellent driver.
Miss Sue Morgan, please pick up the hotel courtesy phone.
Raymond.
- Rain Man? - Yeah.
- Let's play some cards. - Yeah.
You want a hit?
No. You don't want a hit. You've got 18.
I want a hit.
Sir, you have 18.
You don't want to hit. He doesn't want to hit. Hit me.
- Definitely want a hit. - Hitting 18.
He doesn't want to hit.
- Hit me, hit me, hit me. - No, don't!
You took my queen, Ray.
I've got a 10, I needed that queen.
I can't take your queen!
Sir, please don't touch the cards.
I need my own queen, Ray.
There's lots of them.
- There's lots of them? - Lots and lots of them.
Hold on here for a second.
I'm gonna double down.
Queen, queen.
Yes!
Yes, sir. You gotta love this town.
I'm going for it, Nick.
It looks like it.
It certainly looks like it.
Wanna bet one chip or two chips, Ray?
Bet two.
What's your secret, guys?
We cheat.
This is Sam. Tape table 47.
About $85,000.
$85,000? Did you call the Eye in the Sky?
Sam did.
Sam did? Okay, I'll take over from here.
All right.
All right!
You're doing well. I'm happy for you, sir.
What do you see?
Well, he's not catching the hole card and he's not past posting us.
I don't see him using a computer.
No, he's not, but something's not right.
You know there's no one in the world can count into a six-deck shoe.
Hold it. Hold it here.
Watch my chips. I'm gonna be back in second.
Go right ahead, sir.
Ray, what are you doing? We're in the middle of a hand.
You don't leave in the middle of a hand. Ray, Ray, Ray!
We're hot. We are red hot! The Babbitt brothers, kickin' ass in Vegas!
- Wheel of Fortune. - We got Cleopatra...
and Caesar over there waiting for you. Come on, Ray.
"Look at all this glamorous merchandise."
- One for bad, two for good. - 20.
20? Yeah.
It's going to hit on 20?
Yeah, 20, definitely 20.
$3,000 On 20.
Definitely 20.
- Definitely 20? - Yeah.
Uh-oh.
- It's not your game, Ray. - Yeah.
- I just lost $3,000. - Yeah.
That's $3,000 I lost.
Come on, Ray, come on, a little...
No? Easy, don't start banging yourself, all right?
- Maybe we'll play a little bit later. - Yeah.
- I'm gonna cash in. - Yeah, cash in.
You make me sad, Ray.
20.
We won $86,000 and some change, right, Ray?
$86,500.
$80,000.
Refund on the car payments,
and I owe...
What did I say I owe to get the Rolex back?
$3,500.
Six months to pay.
$3,500. We don't have to pay for the room, that's comped.
I'm free and clear. I'm gonna go take a celebration piss.
Don't go anywhere. Until I get back, the sign says "Don't walk."
- Don't walk. - Don't walk.
Hey.
You looking for a date?
- Are you? - I don't know.
- What's your name? - Raymond.
My name is Iris.
Raymond, you like me?
I don't know.
You don't know?
I think if you gave me a chance, you would.
Why don't we try to get to know each other?
Yeah, get to know each other.
He doesn't have any money, honey.
That's all right, sugar, 'cause we are just talking.
Yeah, we're just talking.
Let's go upstairs, Ray. What are you doing, man?
Getting to know each other.
- Just talking. - What room? I'll bring him up.
That's all right.
Is that what you want to do?
You want to stay here and get to know each other, Ray?
Yeah. Get to know each other. Just talking.
- This will be interesting. - Yeah.
- I'll be over here just in case. Yeah.
He doesn't seem to like me. Who is he?
He's my brother. I'm living in his room.
He seems young to be your brother.
He was born August 12, 1962.
It was a Sunday.
What exactly do you guys do here?
We're counting cards.
You're counting cards?
We're counting cards.
- Uh-huh. - We're counting cards.
What else do you do?
We're counting cards.
I know that you're counting cards. What else do you do?
Are you taking any prescription medication?
Whoa. Look, I'm out of here.
Course, what time is the date?
- Later. - What time is the date?
- It's 10:00! - Course, I have to be in bed at 11:00.
Lights out at 11:00. 10:00 daylight-saving time.
- 10:00 daylight-saving time. - 10:00?
You like her, Ray? You think she's pretty?
Yeah. She's very sparkly.
- Definitely very sparkly. - Very sparkly.
He did a great job on that suit.
You don't realize how good you look.
- Do you like it? - It's not Kmart.
How could you not like that suit?
You look fantastic, Ray.
- How can you not like that suit? - It's not a Kmart suit.
- I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. - Yeah.
- Kmart sucks. Okay? - Yeah.
- There you go, Ray. - Yeah.
It's the high rollers' suite.
This is for you.
Ever seen a room like this before?
What's up there?
You're not even looking, man.
Yeah. Bed.
That's a bed. That's your bed.
I had them put it up there especially for you,
right by the window, just the way you like it.
- Bed by the window. - That's right. Go on up.
Just the way you like it, isn't it? - Yeah.
Look at you with all those lights, Ray.
Mr. Vegas. You are Mr. Las Vegas now, man.
What do you think?
There's a lot of lights out there. Very sparkly. Very twinkly.
We made a lot of money today.
We made a lot of money!
Forgetting the $3,000 that we tossed away at that wheel of fortune.
Yeah, wheel of fortune.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm sorry, you know, I got a little carried away.
- I got a little hot, okay, Ray? - Yeah.
I'm saying that I'm sorry, and I just want you to know that I am sorry.
I'm apologizing.
I got a little carried away.
The money... I got a little greedy.
Want to say something?
I have to be at the bar at 10:00 with Iris.
I mean, 'cause, you know, I've got to thank you, man.
You...
You did it. You did it.
I was just there.
You saved my ass.
I was just along for the ride.
Have to be at the bar at 10:00.
Have to go to the date with Iris.
Yeah, Iris. That's her name.
Big date. Going to go dancing.
Yeah, dancing.
Have to go to the date with Iris at the bar, dancing.
Know how to dance?
I don't know.
You don't know how to dance? You ought to learn sometime.
Have to learn to dance with a date.
I was just kidding, Ray. You're not gonna have to dance on this date.
Have to go to the date. Learn to dance.
Definitely. Now.
Ray, you don't have to dance now,
but, listen, I'll teach you how to dance sometime.
Definitely have to.
No, you're not gonna have to dance on this.
Definitely have to learn to dance now for the date.
Sorry I even brought this up. All right, Ray.
- You're right. My mistake. - 10:00.
You got the only famous dancing hooker in Vegas.
All right. Stand over there.
My lonely days are over
- Come over here. - Yeah.
- Now, you hear the music? - Yeah.
Just watch my feet.
Raymond, watch my feet.
- Yeah. - Just do what I'm doing.
Okay, you see? You feel the rhythm of the music?
We're just moving our feet like that.
Okay? Now, you're the guy, so you're gonna have to lead.
All right, and I'm the date, so you want to...
The skies above are blue
You want to...
Put your left hand up like this.
Raymond, don't stop moving.
- Raymond, paying attention? - Yeah.
Don't stop moving. Put your left hand up like this.
- Yeah. - Left hand up. That's good.
Don't stop moving. Just keep moving.
That's good. Just like that.
Now you wanna take this other hand, you wanna put it around behind my back.
- Want to learn how to dance? - Yeah.
Okay, 'cause you gotta touch someone when you dance.
- I'm not going to hurt you, all right? - Yeah.
Just put it right there.
I take my hand, I put it up here.
Watch my feet, Ray.
Watch my feet. The rhythm, the rhythm.
All right?
Now, when you dance you can't watch my feet the whole time,
- so you're gonna have to look up. - Yeah.
When I tell you to, I want you to just look up, real slow.
Just keep moving.
- Okay, you ready? - Yeah.
- All right, start looking up. - Yeah.
A little more. Keep moving.
- Just a little more. - Yeah.
A little more, Ray.
All the way up.
You smile
- There you go, Ray. - Yeah.
You're dancing. This is it.
Yeah, dancing.
You want to close your hand here. Just...
You wanna pull like that.
You're gonna turn me like this, okay?
Here we are in heaven
Just turn. That's good.
- This is dancing. - This is dancing.
Don't know about you, but I'm starting to feel a little silly.
For you are mine
At last
- That's it. - Yeah.
All right! All right!
- Beautiful! You are a good dancer! - Yeah.
- You wanna give me a hug? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I just wanted to give you a hug, Ray.
Just felt like giving you a hug.
What are you doing here?
I'm unemployed.
What do you mean?
- You don't know about the business? - I know about the business.
Come on in. It's okay.
I'm glad to see you.
Ray, look who's here.
It's not right, what you're doing to Raymond.
He's fine.
I know he's fine. He's in Las Vegas in a suit, in a big room.
It makes me sad.
Six minutes to my date.
Six minutes to Iris.
He has a date?
Raymond, it'd be nice
if you didn't carry that television everywhere we go.
What do you gotta bring a Watchman for on your date?
The man's dancing.
But what does your date look like, Raymond?
She's very sparkly.
She looks like a holiday.
I don't think I've heard that one before.
Mr. Babbitt.
Mr. Kelso would like to see you.
- I don't know Mr. Kelso. - He's director of security.
Would you come with me, please?
Sure. Listen, Susanna, why don't you stay with Raymond?
Right this way, sir.
10:01. She's not here.
She'll come. She will.
Congratulations, Mr. Babbitt.
Counting into a six-deck shoe is quite a feat.
I'm afraid I don't understand what you're talking about.
We make videotapes, Mr. Babbitt,
and we analyze the tapes,
and we even share some of the information with the other casinos.
These tapes suggest that you should take your winnings
and leave the state.
Mr. Kelso, someone has a good day at the tables
and you accuse them of illegal activities?
Is this how you treat all your guests?
All you have to do is close your mouth and go home.
And those are the best odds you're gonna see for a while.
I'd take 'em.
Did you want to dance on your date, Ray?
- Yeah. - There'll be other chances, Ray.
Many pretty girls would love to dance with you.
Yeah.
- It's gonna be okay. - Yeah.
Uh-oh.
I like this music, Ray.
Elevator stopped.
It's okay.
You think you could show me the way you were going to dance with Iris?
- Yeah. - Yes?
Would you like to dance with me?
Elevator's on hold.
- It's okay. Give me this. - Yeah.
Show me. Show me how.
Yeah. Charlie Babbitt taught me.
- Charlie Babbitt? - Yeah.
Dancing in the elevator.
It's nice.
You're very good.
Iris missed a beautiful dance.
Yeah.
- And a kiss. - Yeah, and a kiss.
Have you ever kissed a girl?
I don't know.
You don't know?
Open your mouth. Open.
Like this.
Like you are tasting something very good
and very soft.
Like this.
Close your eyes.
- It's okay, Ray. - Yeah.
How was that?
Wet.
Then we did it right.
Elevator's definitely stuck.
No, it's not stuck.
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
- Like us. - Yeah, like us.
What did I tell you, Ray?
I promised you could drive, this is it.
At Wallbrook, I drive slow on the driveway.
Charlie, this is okay? He can drive?
Course, I'm an excellent driver.
He's very good in the driveway.
Ray, why don't you get in the front seat?
So I'll wait to hear from you after Raymond's meeting?
- Yeah. - Don't worry.
- It's gonna be fine, okay? - (SIGHING) Oh, yeah.
- I'm nervous. - I know.
Listen, I'm glad... Happy. I'm happy that you came to Vegas.
I know.
Ciao.
Ray, thank you for the date in the elevator.
- It was really nice. - Yeah.
- Ciao. - Yeah.
Thank you for the what? What?
Nothing. Something between us.
- Between us? - Mmm-hmm, us.
Us, Ray?
Here we go, Ray.
This is your bedroom up here.
Course, there's no bed there. Definitely no bed there.
Oh, no, this is a magic bed, Ray.
You just watch and see.
We got the table over here. We got the television, Ray.
Went to the video store, I got a little surprise for you, Ray.
I picked up a video for you.
Don't start with that, Ray.
This is...
It's not just another place, Ray.
This is... This is my place.
That's the man's name. That's whose name? Yes.
Who? The first baseman. Who's on first.
You got a first baseman?
- (CHATTERING ON TV) - Who's playing first? Absolutely.
When you pay off the first baseman, who gets the money?
Every dollar of it. Why not?
- The man's entitled to it. - Who is?
Yes.
- So who gets it? - Why shouldn't he?
Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
- Whose wife? - Yes.
- After all, the man earns it. - Who does?
Absolutely.
All I'm tryin' to find out is what's the guy's name on first base?
No. What is on second base.
This is funny, Ray. Don't you think this is funny?
Yeah, this is funny.
I'm not changing nobody.
Where'd you see this first?
Dad gave me a book of baseball trivia.
- Dad, huh? - I'm not asking you who's on second.
- Guess it didn't read as funny. - Definitely not.
We're not talking about him.
Hello, this is Dr. Bruner.
I'd like you to call me...
Yeah, what is it?
Oh, I thought I got the machine.
No.
I just got into town, and, as you know,
the psychological interview is tomorrow, Charlie.
Yes, sir, I know that.
I thought we should get together and talk.
I really think it might be in your best interest to meet me.
All right.
When?
I'm at the Bonaventure.
How about tonight at 8:30?
Tomorrow morning you'll meet Dr. Marston who's in charge of Raymond's
- psychiatric evaluation. - Yeah, I know.
I gave him boxes of files on Raymond. Boxes.
Well, good luck.
Look, this isn't a close call, son. It's a formality.
Your brother's a very disabled individual.
You trying to tell me that Marston's gonna rule against me?
Is that why you called me up here?
No, I'm telling you it's always been a lost cause, Charlie.
Then what is this about? Why'd you call me?
Let me tell you something. Your father put me in charge of all the money, all right?
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter whether or not you win custody of Raymond.
I won't have to pay you a dime.
It's at my discretion, not the court's.
What, so you can't lose?
I can lose.
I can lose Raymond.
I happen to care about your brother's life and the treatment he receives.
I made a commitment to your father some 20 years ago,
and I'm not willing to gamble with that.
What is this?
It's a very big check.
$250,000.
And no strings attached.
You just walk away, Charlie.
You know, this isn't about you and me.
It's not about winning or losing.
I asked you a week ago, why didn't anyone ever tell me I had a brother?
You didn't have an answer.
I don't know.
It's funny, I just realized
I'm not pissed off anymore my father cut me out of his will.
You were his friend, you probably knew he tried
to contact me a few times over the years.
I never called him back. I was a prick.
If he was my son, didn't return my calls,
I'd have written him out. Fuck him.
But it's not about the money anymore.
It's about... I just don't understand
why didn't he tell me I had a brother?
Why didn't you tell me I had a brother?
Why didn't anyone ever tell me that I had a brother?
I mean...
Because it'd have been nice to know him for more than just the past six days.
Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray!
Ray!
Come on.
It stopped. It's all right.
V-E-R-N.
Vern. Vern.
Main man. My main man, Vern.
V-E-R-N.
Uh-oh.
My main man, Vern.
V-E-R-N. Vern. My main man.
All right, Ray, they got raspberry, strawberry, blueberry,
Pink Caddie, whole-wheat, Peachy Keen, beer nut,
Rocky Road, buckwheat, Belly Buster, blueberry.
What kind of pancakes you want, Ray?
- Pancakes. - Yeah. What kind?
- Pancakes. - Of course.
Course, maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes.
- Ray. - Yeah.
Ta-da.
Charlie Babbitt made a joke.
- I made a joke, Ray. - Yeah.
Step back a little bit, Ray.
Hello?
Why don't you go sit down over there?
Hello?
This is not a legal proceeding, Mr. Babbitt,
so there's no lawyers, no judge present,
just the people who care about Raymond.
Raymond, why don't you have a seat over there?
Mr. Babbitt, why don't you go to that side of the table?
Raymond, right here. Have a seat.
Raymond, right here. Take this seat, okay?
Ray, you can put your knapsack on the floor.
I think this is a good opportunity to be honest with one another.
- And the TV. Ray, the TV. - Yeah.
- On the floor. I'm sorry. - Yeah.
I don't know any easy way to say this, Mr. Babbitt...
To say what?
- Have I lost already? - No, you haven't lost.
I'm not the judge and jury. I'm just a doctor making a recommendation to a court.
Now, I must tell you that Dr. Bruner
is a very respected professional.
Raymond's case has been meticulously documented over the years,
and, of course, Wallbrook is one of the finest institutions we have in this country.
Boy, you guys have already made up your mind. I'll see you in court.
Hold on, son. No one's your enemy.
My brother came further with me in a week
than he did with you in 20 years. And that's the truth.
- I don't think... - You don't know anything about us!
I don't think it's necessary to challenge Dr. Bruner.
- I'm sorry. - All right.
Exactly what happened this past week, Raymond?
- Well, we got... - I was asking Raymond.
Raymond, what happened this past week?
- What did you do, Raymond? - Counted cards.
- Counted cards? - Counted cards in Las Vegas.
Your brother took you to Las Vegas?
$3,000 on the wheel of fortune.
He gave you $3,000 to gamble with?
Lost $3,000 on pitiful 20.
- What else did you do? - Bet on number 20.
What else did you do?
Danced with Charlie Babbitt.
- Danced with your brother? - He wanted to learn how to dance
- so I taught him. - Danced in the elevator with Susanna.
Kissed Susanna.
- Kissed Susanna? - Yeah. In the elevator.
Did you enjoy kissing a woman?
I don't know.
How did it feel?
It felt wet.
- Wet? - Yeah.
- Quite a trip, huh? - Yeah.
You enjoy being on the road?
I'm an excellent driver.
- You drove? - Yeah.
Your brother let you drive on the highway? The interstate?
Yeah, slow on the driveway.
He didn't drive on the highway.
Did he have any emotional outbursts this past week?
What do you mean?
Well, things they tend to do.
Inflicting bodily harm on themselves...
- Okay, yeah, a couple of times. - A couple of times?
Okay, he had what you call an outburst at the airport
because he didn't want to fly, so we didn't fly.
When was the last outburst that he had?
- This morning. - This morning?
This is bullshit. Because I could tell you anything, I could tell you nothing,
and you'd never know the difference.
This morning the smoke alarm went off.
He got a little nervous, but he's fine.
Don't feel as though I'm placing any blame.
We went out for pancakes.
- Look at him, he's fine. - You don't have to be defensive.
- I'm not challenging you. - I'm just being honest with you.
- You're missing the point. - You're missing the point.
I'm being truthful about this.
The point I was trying to make is I'm not placing any blame...
I had a father I hardly knew, a mother I didn't know at all,
I find out a few days ago that I have a brother,
and I wanna be with him and I'm supposed to give him up?
No one is saying anything...
I didn't hurt him, he's not hurting me,
we're not hurting you. Now, why are you interfering? This is my family.
- I'm not interfering. - This is my family.
- Do you understand that? - I understand that.
Yes, you do have a brother,
but the point is he's not capable of having a relationship with you.
That's your opinion. Did you spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week with him?
Have you ever done that?
Look, you cannot take on the responsibility
of your brother without professional guidance.
- That's your opinion, Dr. Bruner. - Yes, it's my opinion.
There's a couple of things I'd like to go over in this file.
Dr. Bruner states a week ago you stole Raymond out of the institution
and you're willing to trade him for $1.5 million. Is that correct?
My father died. I was upset.
- Okay? That was wrong. - Okay.
So last week you were upset,
and then this week you suddenly found some devotion to your brother
and you want to take care of him the rest of your life?
Yes.
So in the beginning, it was like a kidnapping.
Kidnapping... That's very strong.
I didn't kidnap my brother.
But in the course of the week, you came to have an understanding with him.
Yes.
Look, that...
- Yes? - When we...
I understand that this sounds irrational to you.
Yes, when it started out, it had...
Don't feel compelled to be defensive about that.
- Can I talk? - Yes, you can.
- I'd like to talk. Thank you. - Yes, you can.
There's no accusations.
Go ahead.
There's no accusations?
See, you have to understand that when we started out together,
that he was only my brother
in name.
And as...
Then this morning we had pancakes.
Maple syrup.
Maple syrup on the...
- Maple syrup on the table. - And pancakes.
And Charlie Babbitt made a joke.
You see, we...
I made a connection.
I think that's very admirable that you made a connection,
but I think the purpose of this meeting is to determine
what is best for Raymond.
Whether or not he's capable of functioning in the community,
and what, in fact, he wants,
if that's possible to determine.
I'm all for that.
Raymond's unable to make those kind of decisions.
You're wrong.
Charlie, you know he can't decide for himself.
He's capable of a lot more than you know.
Why don't we ask Raymond? Maybe we can find a few answers.
Raymond, can I ask you a few questions?
- Ray, the doctor's talking to you. - Yeah?
- Raymond, can I ask you a few questions? - Yeah.
Do you want to stay with your brother Charlie?
Raymond, would you like to stay with your brother Charlie in Los Angeles?
Ray, the doctor's asking you a question,
- so you listen, okay, Ray? - Yeah.
Raymond, do you want to stay with your brother Charlie?
Raymond, do you want to stay...
- with your brother Charlie? - Yeah.
- You do? - Yeah.
- You want to stay with your brother? - Yeah.
Stay with my brother, Charlie Babbitt.
That's what you want? - Yeah.
- You want to stay with your brother? - Yeah.
- Can I ask you something else, Raymond? - Yeah.
- Do you want to go back to Wallbrook? - Yeah.
Raymond, can you make a distinction between your brother and Wallbrook?
Yeah.
Do you want to stay with your brother Charlie
- here in Los Angeles? - Yeah.
- Or do you wanna go back to Wallbrook? - Yeah.
Two separate things, stay with your brother or go back to Wallbrook?
It's not one thing, Raymond.
This is your brother. You make a choice.
Back to Wallbrook, stay with Charlie Babbitt.
Okay.
Back to Wallbrook, stay with my brother Charlie Babbitt.
No, no, no. Two separate things. Can you make that choice?
- One or the other. - Yeah, go back to Wallbrook...
All right.
- Stay back at Wallbrook. Hold on. Just hold on!
- Stay back at Wallbrook. - All right.
You made your point. Okay? You don't have to humiliate him.
Ray, it's okay. It's over.
Yeah.
Stay back at Wallbrook with Charlie Babbitt.
Stay back at Wallbrook.
It's over.
- Raymond? - Yeah.
Dr. Bruner, can I talk to you for a minute?
- Of course. - Excuse me.
- You okay, Ray? - Yeah.
You don't want any more questions, do you?
- No. - No.
I don't know.
You don't want any more questions, do you? No more questions.
No.
Don't worry. There's not gonna be any more questions, okay?
- Yeah. - No more questions.
- I'll make sure of that, okay, Ray? - Yeah. Main man.
- What? - My main man.
Listen...
Ray, I don't know if I'm gonna have a chance to talk to you again.
Because you see, these...
Dr. Bruner really likes you a lot,
and he's probably gonna want to take you back with him.
- You know? - Yeah.
But I just want you to know
that what I said about being on the road with you, I meant.
Connecting.
I like having you for my brother.
I'm an excellent driver.
Yes, you are.
I like having you for my big brother.
Yeah.
C-H-A-R-L-I-E.
Main man.
May I have your attention, please?
Amtrak train number 36, the Desert Wind, eastbound,
now boarding, track number three.
Fullerton, San Bernardino. ..
Ray.
Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Omaha, Chicago.
- Hello, Charlie. Hello, Raymond. - Dr. Bruner.
Wouldn't you feel a little more relaxed in your favorite Kmart clothes?
- Tell him, Ray. - Kmart sucks.
(CHUCKLES) I see.
I have the tickets, and I'll be on this car right here to the right.
Why don't you take a couple of minutes?
See you, Charlie.
- You made a joke, Ray. - Yeah.
I guess I better give this to you.
You're gonna have to carry this now, it's...
It's got your cheese balls, your apple juice,
notebooks, pens and...
"Who's on First" video that you like.
"Who's on First." Very funny.
I told you it's funny.
Board!
Better get going.
Yeah. Very shiny train.
Yeah, it sure is.
Listen, Ray, Dr. Bruner only has custody of you.
That doesn't mean I can't visit.
Now, I'm coming to see you in two weeks.
How many days is that before we're gonna be together?
14 days from today. Today's Wednesday.
Hours?
336 hours.
Mystifying.
Course, that's 20,160 minutes.
1,209,600..
600 seconds.
Ray?
Yeah.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah. One for bad, two for good.
- Bet two for good. - Yeah.
Course, three minutes to Wapner.
You'll make it.
Yeah.