1 00:03:16,685 --> 00:03:20,789 Hi. I'm checking out. 14322. 2 00:03:20,856 --> 00:03:23,291 Mr. Schaffer? 3 00:03:23,359 --> 00:03:25,861 That's me. 4 00:03:25,927 --> 00:03:28,964 I have your bill right here. Great. Thank you. 5 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:33,502 How was your luck last night? I don't... I didn't gamble. 6 00:03:33,569 --> 00:03:37,639 I was just here for a friend's bachelor party. I guess he's the gambler. 7 00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:40,075 Uh... 8 00:03:40,141 --> 00:03:43,745 What's this $110? 9 00:03:43,812 --> 00:03:48,216 Those are your in-room movies. I didn't watch any movies. 10 00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:52,153 Okay, let's see. Afro Whores. 11 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,423 Afro Whores? 12 00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:57,826 You watched it... let's see... Uh, 11 times. 13 00:03:57,893 --> 00:03:59,895 No. No, no... 14 00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:04,766 Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4:00. Afro Whores, 5:30. 15 00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:08,303 It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes... 16 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,171 and then switched back over to Afro Whores. 17 00:04:10,238 --> 00:04:13,409 I swear I didn't watch it. I was at a bachelor party. 18 00:04:13,475 --> 00:04:15,711 There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. 19 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:18,614 You have to take that off my record. This is not a record, sir. 20 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:23,118 It's a delete. Okay, fine. How many times did you watch it? 21 00:04:23,184 --> 00:04:26,021 None! I didn't watch it. 22 00:04:26,087 --> 00:04:30,191 Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action, 23 00:04:30,258 --> 00:04:32,628 featuring two sexy soul sisters..." 24 00:04:32,694 --> 00:04:35,497 I don't need to know what it's about. I did not watch it. 25 00:04:37,032 --> 00:04:40,235 I didn't. 26 00:04:40,301 --> 00:04:44,840 Drove 500, and Chipper Jones struck out in that key situation. 27 00:04:44,906 --> 00:04:48,844 He's 0 for 5, lost three straight games. 28 00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:53,148 This month he has a one-game winning streak. 29 00:04:55,851 --> 00:05:00,756 Miss? Miss, can I have another one of these, please? 30 00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:04,860 Oh, sorry. I thought you were a woman. 31 00:05:04,926 --> 00:05:07,028 I am a woman. 32 00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:11,266 You know, you look kind of familiar. 33 00:05:11,332 --> 00:05:13,835 Yeah, you do. 34 00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:16,938 You know, I get that all the time. 35 00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:19,407 I guess I just have one of those faces. 36 00:05:19,475 --> 00:05:23,211 And now for our loser of the week. This week it's a no-brainer. 37 00:05:23,278 --> 00:05:27,716 Referee Owen Templeton made the biggest bonehead call in the history of football. 38 00:05:27,783 --> 00:05:32,153 I think everyone remembers. It happened last Sunday at Dallas with the score tied at 10. 39 00:05:32,220 --> 00:05:34,590 They were headed towards overtime. Everything was cool. 40 00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:36,701 They were about to toss the coin to see who would kick off. 41 00:05:36,725 --> 00:05:40,328 Dallas, call it in the air. Tails. 42 00:05:40,395 --> 00:05:42,931 That's heads. That was tails. 43 00:05:42,998 --> 00:05:45,133 No, no, no. It's, uh... That was tails. 44 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,537 No... Wait! Hang on! It's, uh... Now, what did I say? 45 00:05:48,604 --> 00:05:50,606 Tails! It's tails. 46 00:05:50,672 --> 00:05:53,675 It's heads. What are you doin'? 47 00:05:55,744 --> 00:05:58,547 You saw... 48 00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:01,316 Okay, little brother, just be cool. 49 00:06:01,382 --> 00:06:03,451 Just be cool. 50 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:20,301 Okay, this is it. See that glass? 51 00:06:20,368 --> 00:06:23,939 Walk across the lobby, slip on the glass, let gravity do the rest. 52 00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:26,975 I might "eak" my neck. 53 00:06:27,042 --> 00:06:30,979 It's true. You could break your neck. It's a risk I'm willing to take. 54 00:06:31,046 --> 00:06:34,015 Why don't "oo" do it? 55 00:06:34,082 --> 00:06:37,052 Because, Einstein, one of us needs to be the victim, 56 00:06:37,118 --> 00:06:39,988 and one of us needs to be the witness. 57 00:06:40,055 --> 00:06:43,568 What kind of witness would you make? I'm your own brother. I don't know what you're sayin'. 58 00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:45,727 How's your tongue? Let me see it. 59 00:06:49,264 --> 00:06:50,566 How's it look? 60 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:56,437 It looks good. It looks much better. 61 00:06:56,504 --> 00:06:58,840 Okay, here we go. 62 00:06:58,907 --> 00:07:03,211 - Uh... - We're on Candid Camera, so make it look good. 63 00:07:12,287 --> 00:07:16,958 Excuse me. I'm a lawyer. Gloria Allred. 64 00:07:17,025 --> 00:07:19,695 What the hell happened here? She slipped on that glass. 65 00:07:19,761 --> 00:07:24,132 Those arrogant jerks. They're gonna pay for this. They're gonna pay through the nose. 66 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,835 How's your neck? I've never seen such negligence. 67 00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:29,004 This is going to be huge. 68 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:30,939 She's an angel. 69 00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:34,542 What a cute little face. Would you look at those cheeks? 70 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:37,345 She's absolutely beautiful. She has your eyes. 71 00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:41,449 It's the only picture I have of her. It's all worn out 'cause I'm always looking at it. 72 00:07:41,516 --> 00:07:45,353 And you haven't seen her for 27 years? Not till today. 73 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:48,523 She just called you out of the blue? No, I found her. 74 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:53,294 I hired a detective. I spent all my money, and now we're going to meet. 75 00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:56,431 You think she'll recognize me? Of course she will, won't she? 76 00:07:56,497 --> 00:07:58,566 Yeah. She will. 77 00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:21,256 Vera Baker. 78 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,425 My baby... 79 00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:27,996 Oh. Uh... 80 00:08:28,063 --> 00:08:31,767 - Excuse me. - I have to take this. 81 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,869 This is Merrill. 82 00:08:36,071 --> 00:08:38,373 No! That's unacceptable! 83 00:08:38,439 --> 00:08:42,177 Listen, tell Warren if we don't ship by Tuesday, we won't be in the stores by Mother's Day. 84 00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:45,113 That's unacceptable, so don't give me any excuses, and do it! 85 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,083 Do it! Just shut up and get it done! 86 00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:54,022 Oh, honey, you broke your phone. 87 00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:58,359 It's okay. I carry extras. 88 00:08:58,426 --> 00:09:01,897 Oh. Why don't we sit down? 89 00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:03,932 Yes. 90 00:09:12,007 --> 00:09:15,310 You probably have a thousand questions for me. 91 00:09:15,376 --> 00:09:16,745 No. 92 00:09:16,812 --> 00:09:20,348 I was young. I didn't tell anybody I was pregnant. 93 00:09:20,415 --> 00:09:23,952 - And I felt I could handle it at the time. 94 00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:29,024 Hi. Do you think you gals could pull yourselves together and bring us a drink? 95 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:33,261 Oh. Sure. Yeah. Sure. What would you like? 96 00:09:33,328 --> 00:09:35,530 Mimosa. 97 00:09:35,596 --> 00:09:39,534 They both want a mimosa. 98 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,238 So, you sell cosmetics? 99 00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:46,975 Yeah. I have my own company. Oh! 100 00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:49,945 And we're going public. 101 00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:53,114 And you're not married? 102 00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:56,684 Lucianne said you wouldn't. Who? 103 00:09:56,752 --> 00:09:59,921 Lucianne. She's my psychic. She's the one who told me to come look for you. 104 00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:01,990 She said you needed me. 105 00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:05,727 She did? She said you were lonely... 106 00:10:05,794 --> 00:10:11,366 and that you were worried about money and that you had trouble sleeping. 107 00:10:13,401 --> 00:10:17,739 Who the hell isn't? 108 00:10:23,111 --> 00:10:25,713 See? I told you we didn't need a bellman. 109 00:10:25,781 --> 00:10:29,650 Yeah, well, congratulations, Randy. You avoided another tip. 110 00:10:29,717 --> 00:10:31,787 Those nickels and dimes add up, my dear. 111 00:10:31,853 --> 00:10:33,889 - I call this bed! - Hey, no fair. 112 00:10:33,955 --> 00:10:36,124 You got to pick last night. Go to hell, Jason. 113 00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:38,093 Make me. Hey, language, please. 114 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,461 Bev, his and her bathrobes. Yes. 115 00:10:40,528 --> 00:10:42,363 Look at that view. Yeah. 116 00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:47,335 Nice view. Okay, honey. Why don't you unpack? 117 00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:50,171 Okay. I'm just gonna go look around. 118 00:10:50,238 --> 00:10:53,942 Wait, wait, wait. You're not going to the casino? 119 00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:57,445 No, no, of course not. 120 00:10:57,512 --> 00:11:01,416 I just drove from the Grand Canyon. Gotta stretch my legs. 121 00:11:01,482 --> 00:11:05,020 You swore to me on your mother's eyes we are here to see David Copperfield. 122 00:11:05,086 --> 00:11:08,723 No gambling. No gambling. I'm just lookin' around. 123 00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:13,161 In fact, I'm gonna go to the gift shop. 124 00:11:13,228 --> 00:11:15,263 I can jump farther than you. 125 00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,833 I can jump farther. No way. Watch. 126 00:11:17,899 --> 00:11:20,335 Ooh. 127 00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:24,072 That's gotta hurt. Honey, kids need ya. 128 00:11:24,139 --> 00:11:26,441 Hey, Nick. Nicky! Hey. 129 00:11:26,507 --> 00:11:28,810 You're not leaving? I'm in court on Tuesday. 130 00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:32,413 No, you're not. I work for people who are in court on Tuesday. 131 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,250 You pussy. You can't leave. It's still goin' on up there. 132 00:11:35,316 --> 00:11:37,685 Richie, I have to. I've had two hours sleep. 133 00:11:37,752 --> 00:11:40,788 Steve Cunningham just got another stripper. You got to see this one. 134 00:11:40,856 --> 00:11:42,790 She's incredible. I got to get back. 135 00:11:42,858 --> 00:11:46,027 No, you don't, Nick. I know you. You're scared. 136 00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:48,930 You're scared it's gonna get out of control up there. 137 00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:51,508 Someday you'll be up for attorney general and it'll come back to haunt you. 138 00:11:51,532 --> 00:11:54,735 I'm not having this conversation. You didn't even gamble. 139 00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:57,072 Not one quarter. That's no way to live. 140 00:11:57,138 --> 00:12:00,141 In fact, that ain't even livin'. It's hiding. 141 00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,878 I'm not hiding from anything. Oh, no? 142 00:12:02,944 --> 00:12:05,413 Okay, then prove it. 143 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,283 Do something, anything. Break one rule. 144 00:12:08,349 --> 00:12:13,254 Here. Look. Nick, a paper. Come on. Take it. 145 00:12:13,321 --> 00:12:17,125 Take it. Come on, Nick. Take it. 146 00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:18,793 Aha. 147 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:23,498 I have a plane to catch, okay? 148 00:12:23,564 --> 00:12:26,134 I'll see you in Chicago. 149 00:12:27,835 --> 00:12:30,305 Oh, look, I won! I won! 150 00:12:30,371 --> 00:12:32,473 Look at the money comin' down. 151 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:35,843 Oh, look. Look, look, look. What's... What's... 152 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:40,015 "You're a winner. See guest services." 153 00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:44,385 What? A dollar? 154 00:12:44,452 --> 00:12:46,321 Ooh! 155 00:12:48,556 --> 00:12:50,591 Come on, baby. Come on! 156 00:12:50,658 --> 00:12:53,161 Ya-hoo! 157 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:08,076 Come on. 158 00:13:13,081 --> 00:13:18,219 We won one. What is this? This isn't money. 159 00:13:36,437 --> 00:13:38,806 That's the prize? A free buffet? 160 00:13:38,873 --> 00:13:40,875 Actually, it's not a buffet. 161 00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:44,712 It's a special reception at 10:00 in the penthouse conference room. 162 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:47,282 - Oh! - "Where a spectacular..." 163 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:50,551 once-in-a-lifetime opportunity awaits you." 164 00:13:50,618 --> 00:13:52,487 That's all I know. 165 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:55,290 What do you think? I think it's some kind of scam. 166 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:58,026 Oh, good! A scam! We'll do it. 167 00:13:58,093 --> 00:14:01,096 - I'll need to see some I.D. - Okay. 168 00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:16,311 - There. I gambled. 169 00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:26,887 Family vacation, huh? These are the moments you got to savor, right? 170 00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:29,424 They'll never come around again. Exactly. 171 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:32,160 Excuse me. Do you know what's going on? 172 00:14:32,227 --> 00:14:34,095 Free grub. That's what's going on. 173 00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:36,697 This room is fabulous. 174 00:14:36,764 --> 00:14:40,101 Excuse me. Does anybody know what we're doing here? Beats me. 175 00:14:40,168 --> 00:14:43,104 Oh, my God. 176 00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,206 You should sue somebody. 177 00:14:45,273 --> 00:14:47,375 I did it myself. 178 00:14:47,442 --> 00:14:50,411 What? He said he did it himself. Sent away for a kit. 179 00:14:50,478 --> 00:14:55,683 I knew I recognized you. You're the referee... the bonehead. 180 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:59,354 Well, you know, that's just the media blowing it out of proportion. 181 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:03,691 My hairdresser's husband lost $800 because of you. 182 00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,294 Everybody thinks we flip quarters. Can I have a picture with you? 183 00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:08,529 It's really a commemorative coin. Look. 184 00:15:08,596 --> 00:15:10,498 Smile. Please. You... 185 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:17,072 Am I too late-a? Look. I won a coin. 186 00:15:17,138 --> 00:15:22,243 A gold coin. Oh, isn't this w-wonderful? 187 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,579 Look at this r-room. 188 00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:29,850 What a beautiful room. Have you seen this room? 189 00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:33,020 Yes! We're in it. 190 00:15:35,756 --> 00:15:38,293 I am Enrico Pollini. 191 00:15:38,359 --> 00:15:42,463 Now, I know what you are thinking. Enrico is a girl's name. 192 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:45,400 No, I wasn't. No pun intended. 193 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:50,305 What pun is that? Food. Look at all this food. 194 00:15:50,371 --> 00:15:55,843 What a beautiful party. Little cockdoggies. 195 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,845 They're called cocktail wienies. 196 00:15:57,912 --> 00:16:02,850 Wienies. Ah! I'm so sorry. My English is not so good. 197 00:16:02,917 --> 00:16:05,586 But I'm learning. Mmm! 198 00:16:05,653 --> 00:16:08,123 That's it. Vera. We're outta here. Huh? 199 00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:10,667 I just want to say good-bye. Good-bye, y'all. Excuse me. 200 00:16:10,691 --> 00:16:15,630 Thank you all for coming. I'm Donald Sinclair. I own this hotel. 201 00:16:15,696 --> 00:16:17,798 We don't have much time. 202 00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:23,638 There's a meteor the size of North Carolina heading straight for Earth. 203 00:16:23,704 --> 00:16:28,943 The impact is going to kill every thing and everyone on this planet. 204 00:16:29,009 --> 00:16:33,814 I built a bunker in the basement of this casino strong enough to withstand the blast. 205 00:16:33,881 --> 00:16:38,219 There's room for eight people. I have chosen the seven of you, plus me. 206 00:16:38,286 --> 00:16:42,657 When this is over, it'll be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet. 207 00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:56,036 I couldn't resist! I'm sorry. 208 00:16:58,239 --> 00:17:02,177 A joke. He made a joke. 209 00:17:02,243 --> 00:17:05,580 Do sit down, please. Merrill, you and your mother can sit over here. 210 00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:07,615 How do you know she's my mother? 211 00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:10,285 Alas, there are no secrets anymore. 212 00:17:10,351 --> 00:17:14,789 Actually, that's not quite true. There is one secret, one last secret. 213 00:17:14,855 --> 00:17:19,294 It involves all of you. 214 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:24,165 - I'm getting goose pimples. - Hey... 215 00:17:24,232 --> 00:17:27,001 Ah, Mr. Schaffer! 216 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:30,805 Curiosity got the better of you, eh? Come and sit down. 217 00:17:30,871 --> 00:17:34,775 I'm fine. Thanks. You haven't missed anything. 218 00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:37,445 We were just cutting to the chase. 219 00:17:37,512 --> 00:17:41,682 Cutting to the chase. 220 00:17:43,117 --> 00:17:45,152 Well, you'll laugh later. 221 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:49,023 Now, as you know, the odds against winning a jackpot downstairs... 222 00:17:49,089 --> 00:17:52,460 or hitting the state lottery are astronomical... millions to one. 223 00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:56,231 A serious person doesn't even bother, but today... 224 00:17:56,297 --> 00:17:59,634 you have the chance of playing a game... 225 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,670 where the odds of winning are one in six. 226 00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:05,640 One in six. 227 00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:08,243 It's one throw... 228 00:18:10,711 --> 00:18:12,780 of the dice. 229 00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:19,220 Ah! This is my attorney, Mr. Grisham, 230 00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:22,523 who tragically was born without a personality. 231 00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:27,094 Mr. Grisham is insisting that anyone who wishes to participate in our experiment... 232 00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:32,132 should sign this waiver, absolving the casino from any responsibility or damages, 233 00:18:32,199 --> 00:18:36,036 personal liability, blah, blah, blah. 234 00:18:36,103 --> 00:18:39,507 So, who do you like, Claude? 235 00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:42,477 The young woman in the black coat. She looks desperate. 236 00:18:42,543 --> 00:18:45,513 Yes, but she has her mother with her. 237 00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:48,883 That could slow her down, hmm? Perhaps. 238 00:18:48,949 --> 00:18:52,353 Now, 563 miles from here... 239 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:55,423 is a little town called Silver City, New Mexico. 240 00:18:55,490 --> 00:18:57,725 Gold rush. Quite right, Nick. 241 00:18:57,792 --> 00:19:00,127 Yes, they struck gold there in 1860. 242 00:19:00,194 --> 00:19:02,930 It was the second largest gold rush in American history. 243 00:19:02,997 --> 00:19:07,702 Very good, Nick. I think Nick should be our captain. 244 00:19:09,103 --> 00:19:14,309 Uh, in downtown Silver City, there's a train station. 245 00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:17,254 Can't miss it. As you go in the front door, there's some lockers on the right. 246 00:19:17,278 --> 00:19:19,514 Mr. Grisham, do you have the keys? 247 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,617 Six identical keys. 248 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:25,886 They all open the same locker. 249 00:19:25,953 --> 00:19:28,823 That's locker 001. 250 00:19:28,889 --> 00:19:32,660 Inside the locker is a red duffel bag. Inside the red duffel bag... 251 00:19:32,727 --> 00:19:34,895 is $2 million. 252 00:19:34,962 --> 00:19:39,700 In cash, fifties and hundreds, makes a pile about so big. 253 00:19:39,767 --> 00:19:43,037 First one there keeps it all. 254 00:19:43,103 --> 00:19:44,472 Ooh! 255 00:19:44,539 --> 00:19:49,276 I put transmitting devices in your key rings so I can keep track of you. 256 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:52,547 And, uh, that's it. 257 00:19:52,613 --> 00:19:54,482 Go. 258 00:19:57,217 --> 00:19:59,520 You just can't pick people at random. 259 00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:01,956 I can do anything I like, Owen. I'm eccentric. 260 00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:04,492 Go! 261 00:20:04,559 --> 00:20:07,328 Wait, wait. So, it's like a race? 262 00:20:07,395 --> 00:20:10,765 A race. It's a race. 263 00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:12,933 I hope I win. 264 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,336 Um, what are the rules? 265 00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:19,106 There's only one rule. Are you ready? Here it is. 266 00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:23,110 There are no rules. 267 00:20:23,177 --> 00:20:25,079 Go. 268 00:20:26,981 --> 00:20:28,516 Go! 269 00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:32,820 So now when you say, "Go," you mean just go? 270 00:20:32,887 --> 00:20:36,524 Uh, begin, commence, uh, start moving. 271 00:20:36,591 --> 00:20:40,428 Theoretically, you have been racing for about 40 seconds. 272 00:20:40,495 --> 00:20:43,130 So far, Mr. Schaffer is winning, 273 00:20:43,197 --> 00:20:45,966 because he's nearest to the door. 274 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,710 You're crazy! 275 00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:59,780 A r-race! A r-race! You have to pace yourself. 276 00:20:59,847 --> 00:21:03,818 Carbohydrate is important. Pasta is good. 277 00:21:03,884 --> 00:21:06,554 - Breathing... - is important. 278 00:21:06,621 --> 00:21:11,559 Scusi. One... 279 00:21:11,626 --> 00:21:15,095 It's some sort of joke. It has to be. Yeah. 280 00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:18,566 What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million? 281 00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:21,168 Maybe it's a publicity stunt. 282 00:21:21,235 --> 00:21:24,705 What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy. 283 00:21:24,772 --> 00:21:29,444 Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt. A secret publicity stunt? 284 00:21:29,510 --> 00:21:30,978 Yes! 285 00:21:31,045 --> 00:21:33,189 I don't know what his angle is, but there's always an angle. 286 00:21:33,213 --> 00:21:36,316 Donald Sinclair... People like him make millions of dollars every day... 287 00:21:36,383 --> 00:21:38,986 playing people like us for chumps. 288 00:21:39,053 --> 00:21:41,422 I'm nobody's chump. So you don't believe... 289 00:21:41,489 --> 00:21:45,259 11:30, nonstop to Chicago. I'm gonna be on it. 290 00:21:45,325 --> 00:21:48,095 You know what? He's right. 291 00:21:48,162 --> 00:21:50,831 I'm not cuttin' short my first family vacation... 292 00:21:50,898 --> 00:21:53,367 in three years to go on some half-assed wild goose chase. 293 00:21:53,434 --> 00:21:57,171 Okay, so, you're not goin' for it? 294 00:21:57,237 --> 00:21:59,206 No. No. 295 00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:01,008 I don't think so. 296 00:22:01,075 --> 00:22:03,611 Not me, no. No. Great. 297 00:22:03,678 --> 00:22:06,080 I guess that's that, huh? Right. 298 00:22:06,146 --> 00:22:08,883 It was nice meetin' y'all. I'm gonna take the stairs. 299 00:22:08,949 --> 00:22:11,552 My room's just two floors down, so nice meetin' ya. 300 00:22:11,619 --> 00:22:14,154 Hey, have a nice vacation. 301 00:22:21,662 --> 00:22:23,698 You know, it's probably stuck. 302 00:22:23,764 --> 00:22:27,802 I think I'm gonna take the stairs too. 303 00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:43,684 - Go, go, go, go! - Come on, Vera! - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 304 00:22:47,622 --> 00:22:50,257 Watch out! ♪ Yippie, yi, yo ♪ 305 00:22:50,324 --> 00:22:53,594 Comin' through! 306 00:22:57,765 --> 00:23:00,134 Hold the door, please. 307 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,837 Take your time. No rush. 308 00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:05,072 Get up! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 309 00:23:05,139 --> 00:23:09,677 This is crazy. If we're all gonna go for it, why don't we go for it together? 310 00:23:09,744 --> 00:23:12,913 You know, split the money 50-50. 311 00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:16,651 Fifty-fifty? You know what I mean. Whatever, whatever. 312 00:23:16,717 --> 00:23:18,653 Yes, yes, that's a good plan. 313 00:23:18,719 --> 00:23:21,789 It's a race. It's a r-race. 314 00:23:21,856 --> 00:23:25,092 I'm winning. I'm winning. 315 00:23:28,295 --> 00:23:30,164 And they're off! 316 00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:32,099 No one... 317 00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:36,303 No one is offering you action like this. 318 00:23:36,370 --> 00:23:39,607 A horse race with animals that can think and plan... 319 00:23:39,674 --> 00:23:44,011 and lie and cheat and play dirty. 320 00:23:44,078 --> 00:23:47,848 Hmph. It's the gambling experience of a lifetime. 321 00:23:47,915 --> 00:23:52,152 It's my way of saying I understand men like you. 322 00:23:52,219 --> 00:23:55,089 I know what you want. I know what you need. 323 00:23:55,155 --> 00:23:59,059 This casino... my casino... Is where you belong. 324 00:24:01,395 --> 00:24:03,764 I got it! Excuse me! 325 00:24:03,831 --> 00:24:06,200 To the airport. You got it. 326 00:24:06,266 --> 00:24:08,869 We're out the door. I don't see you. Where are you? 327 00:24:08,936 --> 00:24:13,473 I forgot to tip the maid. I always tip the maid. Forget the maid. There he is! 328 00:24:13,540 --> 00:24:15,843 Come on! Let's go! Okay, okay. 329 00:24:15,910 --> 00:24:21,215 Bev, this is a real job! I swear! 330 00:24:21,281 --> 00:24:23,984 What is it? 331 00:24:24,051 --> 00:24:26,153 Huh? 332 00:24:26,220 --> 00:24:28,122 The job? What's the job? 333 00:24:30,390 --> 00:24:32,760 Ink... for fountain pens. 334 00:24:35,070 --> 00:24:38,006 - And they're in New Mexico? - Silver City, New Mexico. 335 00:24:38,073 --> 00:24:41,944 I love New Mexico. Honey, we'll go with you. 336 00:24:42,010 --> 00:24:44,647 No! Why not? 337 00:24:44,713 --> 00:24:49,718 Because... we've already paid for the room. Ah! Now look who's wasting money. 338 00:24:49,785 --> 00:24:52,688 No, no, no. No. This was your idea to stop here. 339 00:24:52,755 --> 00:24:55,834 I don't care about David Copperfield. This is our family vacation. We'll go with you. 340 00:24:55,858 --> 00:24:59,227 But you don't understand... We will go with you! 341 00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:03,666 Fine. Yes! 342 00:25:03,732 --> 00:25:06,735 Fine. Fine. Here. Call the bellman. Have him bring the van around. 343 00:25:06,802 --> 00:25:08,971 You happy? You happy? Okay. 344 00:25:09,037 --> 00:25:13,475 Scusi. Scusi. I'm in a race. Scusi. Oh! 345 00:25:13,542 --> 00:25:16,244 Scusi. It's a race. 346 00:25:30,559 --> 00:25:34,062 What is he doing? I think he's sleeping. 347 00:25:34,129 --> 00:25:38,066 Sleeping? He must be narcoleptic. It's a rare sleeping disorder. 348 00:25:38,133 --> 00:25:41,604 But I bet on him! So did I. Two million dollars. 349 00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:44,006 I'm sorry, gentlemen. All the bets are locked in. 350 00:25:44,072 --> 00:25:46,108 Sleeping! Sleeping! 351 00:25:54,216 --> 00:25:56,785 Look out! Don't tell me how to drive! 352 00:25:56,852 --> 00:26:00,388 It's only yellow. It's only yellow. Run it! 353 00:26:00,455 --> 00:26:04,059 Where's my video game? Seat belts, everyone. 354 00:26:04,126 --> 00:26:08,731 - Honey, what is the rush? - I don't wanna be late. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. 355 00:26:08,797 --> 00:26:11,366 You're not just a travel agent, Roger. You're an angel. 356 00:26:11,433 --> 00:26:14,202 There's one charter plane available in Las Vegas. 357 00:26:14,269 --> 00:26:16,138 We just bagged it. Ooh. 358 00:26:16,204 --> 00:26:18,140 Back to pass. Get rid of it. 359 00:26:18,206 --> 00:26:21,777 Looks to his left. Get rid of it. Throw the ball! 360 00:26:21,844 --> 00:26:24,279 That's why you're not gonna get drafted! 361 00:26:24,346 --> 00:26:27,482 You'll be lucky to play arena football in Barcelona! 362 00:26:27,549 --> 00:26:30,318 - You like football? - Sure. 363 00:26:30,385 --> 00:26:34,489 Did you happen to catch that, uh, Dallas game last week? 364 00:26:34,556 --> 00:26:39,695 You can't really call it a game. It was an obscenity. It was a crime against football. 365 00:26:39,762 --> 00:26:42,364 I lost 20 grand on that game! And they would have won! 366 00:26:42,430 --> 00:26:46,001 Now I gotta work two shifts because of that idiot! 367 00:26:46,068 --> 00:26:50,172 Stevie Wonder could have done a better job calling that game. 368 00:26:50,238 --> 00:26:54,342 Where the hell's the airport? 369 00:26:56,378 --> 00:26:59,915 One lousy flip of the coin and the whole franchise goes straight down the crapper. 370 00:26:59,982 --> 00:27:02,184 That'll be 10.50, buddy. Keep the change. 371 00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:06,755 Hey, hey, hey! Thanks a lot. You have a nice flight. Yeah! Whoo! 372 00:27:06,822 --> 00:27:09,024 You know who that was? Nah. 373 00:27:09,091 --> 00:27:13,061 That was the ref. The guy from the game? The coin toss! 374 00:27:13,128 --> 00:27:16,064 Oh, my God! You're right! That was him! 375 00:27:16,131 --> 00:27:18,333 I had him in the cab, and I let him go! 376 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,369 Where are we going? We gotta go. Come on. Just go. 377 00:27:21,436 --> 00:27:24,673 Go, go, go, go, go. Chumps. 378 00:27:49,865 --> 00:27:52,134 Excuse me. Hi. 379 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,304 I'm not a creep or anything. I don't have any quarters. 380 00:27:56,371 --> 00:28:01,844 Oh, no, um, no. I never do this, but I'm reading the same book you are. 381 00:28:01,910 --> 00:28:04,046 Look. See? Lindbergh. Hmm. 382 00:28:04,112 --> 00:28:06,114 It's fantastic, isn't it? Mm-hmm. 383 00:28:06,181 --> 00:28:09,952 What part are you on? He just had a sex change. 384 00:28:10,018 --> 00:28:12,120 Who did? Lindbergh? Mm-hmm. 385 00:28:12,187 --> 00:28:14,757 - Sex change? - Ooh, yeah. Ooh. 386 00:28:18,326 --> 00:28:20,028 That's funny. 387 00:28:20,095 --> 00:28:21,964 I thought so. That's funny. 388 00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:23,966 I wouldn't be too proud of yourself though. 389 00:28:24,032 --> 00:28:26,034 I'm the most gullible guy in Chicago. 390 00:28:26,101 --> 00:28:28,470 Uh-huh. 391 00:28:28,536 --> 00:28:30,973 Can I buy you a drink? 392 00:28:31,039 --> 00:28:33,608 I can't. I'm flying. 393 00:28:33,675 --> 00:28:38,713 - So, it'll relax you. - No, I mean, I'm flying. I'm a pilot. 394 00:28:38,781 --> 00:28:42,117 Oh. Ah. 395 00:28:42,184 --> 00:28:44,953 Pilot? Are there a lot of female pilots? 396 00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:47,790 There's at least one. 397 00:28:50,859 --> 00:28:54,362 As soon as I walk away, I'm gonna think of something great to say to that. 398 00:28:54,429 --> 00:28:57,032 Good. Mail it to me. 399 00:29:02,137 --> 00:29:04,406 Flight 115 to Albuquerque, New Mexico. 400 00:29:04,472 --> 00:29:07,509 Gate 17. You better hurry. Four tickets to Albuquerque. 401 00:29:07,575 --> 00:29:10,445 Please. Near the front of the plane. Please. All right. 402 00:29:10,512 --> 00:29:12,447 Come on! 403 00:29:12,514 --> 00:29:16,551 This is so exciting. I've never been on a private plane before. 404 00:29:16,618 --> 00:29:18,520 This is bigger than my condo. 405 00:29:18,586 --> 00:29:21,389 Gentlemen, what's our E.T.A.? One hour and ten minutes. 406 00:29:21,456 --> 00:29:24,626 If you can do it in less than an hour, I'll buy you both dinner. 407 00:29:24,692 --> 00:29:26,361 You're on... 408 00:29:26,428 --> 00:29:29,531 Watch it. Move. Excuse me. Move. Move! Move! Move! 409 00:29:29,597 --> 00:29:31,499 - Who was next? - I was! 410 00:29:31,566 --> 00:29:33,435 I was! I was! 411 00:29:33,501 --> 00:29:35,603 What? You were not next! Are you callin' me a liar? 412 00:29:35,670 --> 00:29:39,307 Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. We've been in line over 20 minutes. 413 00:29:39,374 --> 00:29:42,744 Is that the correct time? Hey! Whoa! 414 00:29:42,811 --> 00:29:45,113 Yes, it is. 415 00:29:45,180 --> 00:29:48,450 - Who's next? - They were, right there. 416 00:29:48,516 --> 00:29:51,253 Two tickets to Albuquerque.- 417 00:29:51,319 --> 00:29:55,657 I'm sorry. Ouch. We're completely booked. There's nothing. 418 00:29:55,723 --> 00:29:58,526 Oh, there's a 4:30, but you have to switch in Dallas. 419 00:30:03,298 --> 00:30:08,070 What do you mean that's it? I'm not givin' up and neither are you. 420 00:30:08,136 --> 00:30:11,706 And neither am I! I'll tell you something, brother. 421 00:30:11,773 --> 00:30:17,045 If we're not flyin' outta here, no one is flyin' outta here. 422 00:31:07,295 --> 00:31:10,465 Whoo! Okay! 423 00:31:14,236 --> 00:31:17,172 Well, that can't be good. 424 00:31:24,546 --> 00:31:27,182 Duane! 425 00:31:29,817 --> 00:31:31,954 Ooh! 426 00:31:35,290 --> 00:31:37,125 Whoa! 427 00:31:39,161 --> 00:31:42,264 No! 428 00:31:49,071 --> 00:31:51,606 Blaine! Blaine! 429 00:31:54,809 --> 00:31:58,513 Oh! Oh, no. Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! 430 00:31:58,580 --> 00:32:00,815 Blaine! 431 00:32:03,851 --> 00:32:06,388 Shit! 432 00:32:17,199 --> 00:32:20,568 I can't! 433 00:32:20,635 --> 00:32:24,872 What are you doin'? I don't know where to go! 434 00:32:24,939 --> 00:32:26,908 Move! Aah! Trying to kill me? 435 00:32:26,975 --> 00:32:31,213 Duane, stop the car! Stop the car! 436 00:32:31,279 --> 00:32:34,916 Oh, no! Hey! Hey! Oh! 437 00:32:34,983 --> 00:32:40,222 Blaine! Blaine! 438 00:32:42,257 --> 00:32:46,394 Whoa, girl! Jesus! 439 00:32:59,674 --> 00:33:03,078 Freeze everything, every flight. Get me Central Operations. 440 00:33:05,413 --> 00:33:07,382 Attention all passengers. 441 00:33:07,449 --> 00:33:09,984 Due to a technical problem with our radar tracking system, 442 00:33:10,052 --> 00:33:12,354 all flights are postponed until further notice. 443 00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:15,723 We apologize for any inconvenience. 444 00:33:15,790 --> 00:33:18,126 Come on. We gotta go. 445 00:33:18,193 --> 00:33:19,661 Hurry up! The bags? 446 00:33:19,727 --> 00:33:21,463 Forget the bags! Let's go! 447 00:33:21,529 --> 00:33:24,966 Comin' through! 448 00:33:25,033 --> 00:33:28,270 This is your license? Yes, it is. 449 00:33:29,271 --> 00:33:31,206 Where was it issued? In Guam. 450 00:33:33,608 --> 00:33:37,879 Just head east, and I'm in a hurry. 451 00:33:37,945 --> 00:33:43,185 Hello again. East it is. 452 00:33:44,552 --> 00:33:47,655 We have a, uh, midsized Caprice. 453 00:33:47,722 --> 00:33:50,425 What color is it? We don't care about color. 454 00:33:50,492 --> 00:33:53,061 Just give us whatever car is parked closest to the door. 455 00:33:53,128 --> 00:33:55,697 Ask about insurance. 456 00:33:55,763 --> 00:33:59,167 Would you be interested in purchasing liability insurance? 457 00:33:59,234 --> 00:34:01,736 How much is it? It doesn't matter. We'll take it. 458 00:34:01,803 --> 00:34:03,738 Just hurry. 459 00:34:03,805 --> 00:34:08,210 Hit enter. 460 00:34:08,276 --> 00:34:10,278 Now shift. 461 00:34:10,345 --> 00:34:13,715 Shift key. Right there. Yeah. 462 00:34:13,781 --> 00:34:16,818 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 463 00:34:16,884 --> 00:34:18,853 Hey, watch it! 464 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,024 Bus! White people! 465 00:34:23,091 --> 00:34:25,793 Idiot! 466 00:34:26,961 --> 00:34:29,164 Okay, I've got one. 467 00:34:30,165 --> 00:34:32,567 What? A great comeback. 468 00:34:32,634 --> 00:34:34,602 Oh, okay. Okay. 469 00:34:34,669 --> 00:34:36,904 I said, "Are there a lot of female pilots?" 470 00:34:36,971 --> 00:34:38,806 And you said, "There's at least one." 471 00:34:38,873 --> 00:34:42,377 I should have said, "Two if you count Lindbergh." 472 00:34:42,444 --> 00:34:45,447 'Cause you said he had a sex change. 473 00:34:45,513 --> 00:34:48,150 It's a work in progress. Okay. 474 00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:50,485 I'm Nick Schaffer. Tracy Faucet. 475 00:34:50,552 --> 00:34:52,654 So I guess you can have that drink now. 476 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,158 No, I told you I'm flying. I'm leaving for Roswell in five minutes. 477 00:34:56,224 --> 00:34:58,560 Didn't you hear? Everybody's grounded. 478 00:34:58,626 --> 00:35:02,664 That's only for fixed wing. I'm in a chopper. We use a different system. 479 00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:04,632 Oh. 480 00:35:08,970 --> 00:35:12,840 Roswell, New Mexico? Uh-huh. 481 00:35:12,907 --> 00:35:16,211 - You're flying to New Mexico? - Yeah, we've been flying down all week. 482 00:35:16,278 --> 00:35:18,246 They're repainting the whole fleet. 483 00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:26,621 You can fly. Nobody else can fly. 484 00:35:26,688 --> 00:35:29,691 But you can fly. 485 00:35:29,757 --> 00:35:32,894 And you're flying to New Mexico. Yeah. 486 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,963 But nobody else can fly. Yeah. 487 00:35:36,030 --> 00:35:39,334 Do you need a ride? 488 00:35:42,837 --> 00:35:45,340 Come on! 489 00:35:50,645 --> 00:35:53,581 Coconut. Coconut! Who had coconut? 490 00:35:53,648 --> 00:35:56,484 I did. 491 00:35:56,551 --> 00:35:58,253 Ah, Phil. 492 00:35:59,754 --> 00:36:01,956 That's the kind of car that I'm gettin'. 493 00:36:02,023 --> 00:36:04,692 Yeah? Don't count on it. Why not? 494 00:36:04,759 --> 00:36:07,729 Because the Volkswagen Beetle was used by the Nazis. 495 00:36:07,795 --> 00:36:11,199 I would not be comfortable driving around in one. 496 00:36:11,266 --> 00:36:15,570 So, don't drive it. I will. Dad, I have to go. 497 00:36:15,637 --> 00:36:19,106 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. I really do. 498 00:36:19,173 --> 00:36:23,578 - We just stopped! - I couldn't go. The bathroom was too gross. 499 00:36:23,645 --> 00:36:27,682 Well, can't you hold it in? I can't! It's an emergency. 500 00:36:27,749 --> 00:36:29,817 Honey, there's a restaurant. 501 00:36:29,884 --> 00:36:32,763 That's three miles off the road, and then three miles back. We lose ten minutes. 502 00:36:32,787 --> 00:36:35,089 So what? Your daughter has to go to the bathroom. 503 00:36:35,156 --> 00:36:37,525 Please stop, Dad. All right. 504 00:36:37,592 --> 00:36:40,228 Jason, look back there for an empty jar. 505 00:36:40,295 --> 00:36:42,297 A jar? Girls don't pee in jars. 506 00:36:42,364 --> 00:36:44,399 Oh, all right, sorry. 507 00:36:44,466 --> 00:36:48,169 Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel. 508 00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:50,738 Dad, I don't have to pee. It's number two! 509 00:36:50,805 --> 00:36:55,243 - Sorry, I can't stop. - Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it. 510 00:36:55,310 --> 00:36:56,778 What does that mean? 511 00:36:56,844 --> 00:37:00,615 Like when a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground. 512 00:37:00,682 --> 00:37:03,618 Hmm. Oh! 513 00:37:03,685 --> 00:37:05,152 Oh! Oh! 514 00:37:05,219 --> 00:37:07,622 I do not want to picture that. 515 00:37:07,689 --> 00:37:11,393 Yes, sir, Silver City it is. 516 00:37:11,459 --> 00:37:14,796 Buddy. It's about 700 miles. 517 00:37:14,862 --> 00:37:19,267 You don't mind, do ya? Oh, no. No, no, I don't mind. 518 00:37:19,334 --> 00:37:22,670 A job's just another job for me. 519 00:37:22,737 --> 00:37:25,707 About how much you think that's gonna cost? 520 00:37:25,773 --> 00:37:30,578 I wouldn't worry about it. Tell you what. 521 00:37:30,645 --> 00:37:34,782 You just pay me whatever you think is fair, 522 00:37:34,849 --> 00:37:39,854 'cause I trust your judgment. Hmph. 523 00:37:39,921 --> 00:37:42,890 I hate you. I hate you! 524 00:37:42,957 --> 00:37:47,161 Nobody look. I'm gonna turn on the radio, honey, so nobody can hear you. 525 00:37:49,130 --> 00:37:51,799 Nobody can hear you, honey. Push away. 526 00:37:57,505 --> 00:38:00,375 Whoo-hoo! 527 00:38:00,442 --> 00:38:03,621 I'm gonna drop you off right there. There's a parking lot right near the hospital. 528 00:38:03,645 --> 00:38:07,081 Great. Great. So what's wrong with her? 529 00:38:07,148 --> 00:38:10,051 - Who? - Your sister. You said it was serious. 530 00:38:11,419 --> 00:38:14,989 Oh, uh, yeah. Shark bite. 531 00:38:16,157 --> 00:38:18,826 - A shark bite? - Yeah. 532 00:38:18,893 --> 00:38:21,629 They took her to Silver City? 533 00:38:21,696 --> 00:38:24,966 They have a really good shark attack unit there. 534 00:38:31,973 --> 00:38:34,876 How fast was I going? 535 00:38:42,617 --> 00:38:46,621 Where are we? Oh, it's a shortcut I know. 536 00:38:46,688 --> 00:38:50,525 Well, maybe we should stick to the highway. There's a thought. 537 00:38:50,592 --> 00:38:54,896 You say we should stick to the highway. I say we should take my shortcut. 538 00:38:54,962 --> 00:38:59,701 Why don't we just flip a coin? It's not what you think. 539 00:38:59,767 --> 00:39:03,104 Come on, you blind son of a bitch! Wait! Stop it! 540 00:39:03,170 --> 00:39:06,774 Where's that whistle? Give me that goddamn whistle! I'm gonna shove it up your ass! 541 00:39:06,841 --> 00:39:09,210 Come back here! Arrivederci. 542 00:39:09,276 --> 00:39:12,313 Ooh, ah, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ooh, ah! 543 00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:15,216 Ooh! Oh, shit. Ooh! Ah, ooh. 544 00:39:15,282 --> 00:39:19,821 I'll kill him. Ah! 545 00:39:19,887 --> 00:39:24,225 Ooh, ah, ooh, ow, ow, ooh, aah, ooh! 546 00:39:24,291 --> 00:39:26,961 Ah, ooh, ah, ah! Oh, a-ha-ha! 547 00:39:37,304 --> 00:39:41,843 - Squirrel? - No, thank you. We're looking for the interstate. 548 00:39:41,909 --> 00:39:45,447 I get that a lot 'cause of the detour. 549 00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:49,451 Oh, now they've lost their way. 550 00:39:49,517 --> 00:39:53,688 Now they can't go home. You sure you don't want one? 551 00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:55,457 We're sure. Thank you. 552 00:39:55,523 --> 00:39:59,293 They make crackerjack pets. I taught this one to shake hands. 553 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,397 He's not for sale though. Who wants to go home with the nice ladies, huh? 554 00:40:03,465 --> 00:40:06,834 "Oh, pick me. Pick me. Oh, don't be afraid. I don't bite. 555 00:40:06,901 --> 00:40:11,338 - What's your name, pretty lady?" - Vera. 556 00:40:11,405 --> 00:40:13,808 Ma'am, uh, really. We're not interested. 557 00:40:13,875 --> 00:40:16,978 Well, I'm not talkin' to you, am I? I'm talkin' to Vera. 558 00:40:17,044 --> 00:40:21,449 What about Bucky here? He just loves to climb the trees and eat the nuts. 559 00:40:21,516 --> 00:40:23,651 Ma'am, we do not want a squirrel. 560 00:40:23,718 --> 00:40:25,853 Do you or do you not know where the interstate is? 561 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,256 Of course I do. I'm not retarded. "Tell 'em about the shortcut." 562 00:40:29,323 --> 00:40:31,693 Oh, thank you, Bucky. 563 00:40:31,759 --> 00:40:35,162 I almost forgot. There's a dandy shortcut. 564 00:40:35,229 --> 00:40:37,865 It'll bring you right to exit 14. It'll save you 30 miles. 565 00:40:37,932 --> 00:40:41,068 - Oh! - Now listen carefully. 566 00:40:41,135 --> 00:40:44,706 You want to go straight down here exactly 1.8 miles. 567 00:40:44,772 --> 00:40:48,976 - 1.8. - And you make a left at the Totem Pole Ranch. 568 00:40:49,043 --> 00:40:51,879 Go 5.4 miles and you're gonna go up a big hill. 569 00:40:51,946 --> 00:40:55,517 You'll see a big yellow sign with some graffiti on it. 570 00:40:55,583 --> 00:41:00,187 There's a little dirt road. Take that on the right. It'll take you to the interstate. 571 00:41:00,254 --> 00:41:01,556 Thank you. Thank you. 572 00:41:01,623 --> 00:41:05,893 Oh, wait a minute. Take some nuts with you... 573 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,763 just in case you see a squirrel, okay? 574 00:41:08,830 --> 00:41:09,997 Okay. 575 00:41:10,064 --> 00:41:14,636 "Bye. Bye. Oh, you could have bought me." 576 00:41:14,702 --> 00:41:17,338 You'll make it. You'll make it. 577 00:41:17,404 --> 00:41:19,473 Ah. Ah. 578 00:41:22,910 --> 00:41:25,713 Where am I? 579 00:41:29,316 --> 00:41:32,319 Wow! A Barbie Museum! Can we stop? 580 00:41:32,386 --> 00:41:36,824 Sorry, Kimmy. We have a plan, and we're gonna stick to the plan. 581 00:41:36,891 --> 00:41:39,293 Please, Daddy. Please, please, please, please, please. 582 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,729 Hey, hey! It's not fair. 583 00:41:41,796 --> 00:41:44,365 We never get to stop anywhere I want to. 584 00:41:44,431 --> 00:41:47,835 I'm sure Jason doesn't want to go to the Barbie Museum. 585 00:41:47,902 --> 00:41:51,272 Are you kiddin'? I'll stop anywhere. I'm wigging out back here. 586 00:41:51,338 --> 00:41:54,876 Yeah, okay, honey. You need to pull over and stop to give the kids a break. 587 00:41:54,942 --> 00:41:56,878 Yeah, okay, maybe on the way back. 588 00:41:56,944 --> 00:41:58,980 - Stop the car. - I can't do that. 589 00:41:59,046 --> 00:42:01,015 - We all need to stop the car. - No can do. 590 00:42:01,082 --> 00:42:03,484 - You need to stop the car. - No! 591 00:42:03,551 --> 00:42:07,254 Stop the car! 592 00:42:09,824 --> 00:42:14,328 Okay, fine, but 10 minutes. 593 00:42:14,395 --> 00:42:17,632 Wow! The Barbie Museum. 594 00:42:17,699 --> 00:42:20,034 Klaus Barbie, 595 00:42:20,101 --> 00:42:22,436 sometimes known as the Butcher of Lyons. 596 00:42:22,503 --> 00:42:26,641 Let the Jew revisionists talk about their death camps... 597 00:42:26,708 --> 00:42:29,577 and so-called crimes against humanity. 598 00:42:29,644 --> 00:42:35,116 This museum is lovingly dedicated to the Klaus Barbie that nobody knows. 599 00:42:35,182 --> 00:42:38,920 The husband, the devoted father, the wine connoisseur... 600 00:42:38,986 --> 00:42:41,956 and three-time ballroom dancing champion. 601 00:42:48,095 --> 00:42:51,866 Hey, hey, there's that guy, the "udgy" one. 602 00:42:54,001 --> 00:42:57,504 Barbie joined the S.S. in 1935... 603 00:42:57,571 --> 00:43:01,475 where he soon became one of the Fuhrer's favorite young officers. 604 00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:03,978 Uh, can we go? Shh. 605 00:43:04,045 --> 00:43:07,281 Here we see him standing beside Hitler's touring car, 606 00:43:07,348 --> 00:43:11,452 the very same car which can be seen on display outside in our courtyard. 607 00:43:11,518 --> 00:43:14,321 You're leaving? 608 00:43:14,388 --> 00:43:16,423 What... 609 00:43:16,490 --> 00:43:21,128 No... Yes. Well, we have a 4:30 book burning, and then we have a... 610 00:43:21,195 --> 00:43:23,297 A christening. Yes, a christening... 611 00:43:23,364 --> 00:43:27,434 for one of our many white, Christian, non-Jewish friends... 612 00:43:27,501 --> 00:43:33,140 Family. Blood relatives. Yes, the Himmler Hessin Von Sturichberg... 613 00:43:33,207 --> 00:43:35,810 Okay. Thank you so much. Yes, love your do. 614 00:43:35,877 --> 00:43:37,779 Thank you. It's beautiful. We had a great time. 615 00:43:37,845 --> 00:43:40,915 Wow! Oh, a gift shop. 616 00:43:40,982 --> 00:43:44,251 Yes, I know, honey. Next time. I promise. I really do. 617 00:43:44,318 --> 00:43:46,287 Just go. Just go. 618 00:43:46,353 --> 00:43:50,992 What is... Oh, my God! We've been cut! What do we do now? 619 00:43:51,058 --> 00:43:53,661 I say we take the interstate. 620 00:43:53,728 --> 00:43:57,298 No, "ake" Highway "well." That's a shortcut. 621 00:43:57,364 --> 00:44:01,035 You don't know what the shortcut is. It could be anything. It could be a dirt road. 622 00:44:01,102 --> 00:44:04,872 You know what? There are "oo" of us. Why don't we just separate? 623 00:44:04,939 --> 00:44:07,942 What? There's "oo" of us. 624 00:44:08,009 --> 00:44:11,545 "Amy" we should "ust" separate. 625 00:44:11,612 --> 00:44:14,348 You're right. You're a genius. 626 00:44:14,415 --> 00:44:18,219 There's two of us. If we separate and you steal a car, we can both go our own way... 627 00:44:18,285 --> 00:44:20,354 and double our chances of gettin' there first. 628 00:44:20,421 --> 00:44:22,857 All right. You take the... 629 00:44:22,924 --> 00:44:25,259 We only got one "ee." 630 00:44:27,829 --> 00:44:31,899 Oh, look, there it is. Totem Pole Ranch, turn left. 631 00:44:31,966 --> 00:44:36,303 1.8 miles exactly. All right, squirrel lady. 632 00:44:40,341 --> 00:44:45,046 I can't believe it, Dad. You just stole Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz. 633 00:44:45,112 --> 00:44:49,416 Hitler had it comin'. What goes around comes around. 634 00:44:49,483 --> 00:44:51,418 They're gonna be pissed. 635 00:44:51,485 --> 00:44:55,957 They're always pissed, honey. They're Nazis. It's like it's their job. 636 00:44:56,023 --> 00:45:01,395 Hey, honey, when we get to Silver City, we'll call 'em. We'll work somethin' out. 637 00:45:01,462 --> 00:45:03,731 Yee-hoo! 638 00:45:06,834 --> 00:45:08,302 North? 639 00:45:08,369 --> 00:45:10,905 A little detour. It'll just take a minute. 640 00:45:10,972 --> 00:45:13,440 I just wanted to say hi to my boyfriend. 641 00:45:13,507 --> 00:45:15,409 Oh. 642 00:45:21,816 --> 00:45:25,419 I can't believe it. That... That son of a bitch! 643 00:45:25,486 --> 00:45:27,421 That's Charlene's car. 644 00:45:27,488 --> 00:45:31,025 - Charlene? - His ex-girlfriend, or so I thought. 645 00:45:31,092 --> 00:45:35,296 Come on now. I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation. 646 00:45:35,362 --> 00:45:38,399 She probably came by just to pick up some clothes or... Oh! 647 00:45:38,465 --> 00:45:41,468 Nice and warm. 648 00:45:41,535 --> 00:45:43,805 Okay. 649 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,043 What the... No! 650 00:45:49,110 --> 00:45:51,478 Get down! 651 00:45:53,314 --> 00:45:57,051 Did I come at a bad time, asshole? 652 00:45:58,752 --> 00:46:03,057 I'll ram this helicopter right down your throat! 653 00:46:04,391 --> 00:46:06,727 - Ahh! - No! Whoa! 654 00:46:06,794 --> 00:46:09,396 Hey! Whoa! What are you doing? 655 00:46:09,463 --> 00:46:14,101 Don't worry about me. My father's a navy pilot. I've been flying since I was 15. 656 00:46:14,168 --> 00:46:17,138 I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me. 657 00:46:17,204 --> 00:46:21,775 Shawn, you have a minute? I want to talk about our relationship. 658 00:46:35,857 --> 00:46:38,525 Suck on that, creep! Ha, ha, ha, ha! 659 00:46:38,592 --> 00:46:40,127 - Oh! - Ah! 660 00:46:40,194 --> 00:46:43,164 - That's... - Not the truck! 661 00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:46,133 Oh, my God! 662 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,502 Come on. Help me. Open it. 663 00:46:48,569 --> 00:46:50,304 I'm not comfortable... 664 00:46:50,371 --> 00:46:52,239 Open it! Okay. 665 00:46:57,778 --> 00:47:00,147 She's gonna kill me. 666 00:47:00,214 --> 00:47:02,884 We should get outta here. Not yet! 667 00:47:02,950 --> 00:47:07,488 You two-timing, backstabbing snake! 668 00:47:07,554 --> 00:47:09,556 You worm! You turd! 669 00:47:12,559 --> 00:47:18,265 My God! What was I thinking? I want my five months back! 670 00:47:19,766 --> 00:47:22,336 I'm getting the tattoo removed! 671 00:47:22,403 --> 00:47:24,505 No! 672 00:47:24,571 --> 00:47:26,207 Hey! Oh! 673 00:47:26,273 --> 00:47:28,275 Stop hitting me! 674 00:47:28,342 --> 00:47:31,745 Where are you goin', baby? Wait for me! No! 675 00:47:39,220 --> 00:47:44,325 No! Oh! Whoa! 676 00:47:44,391 --> 00:47:47,628 No! 677 00:47:50,965 --> 00:47:55,736 - I think we just killed him. - You can't kill him! He's like a cockroach. 678 00:47:57,738 --> 00:48:01,375 - Uh-oh. - No, no, no, no-oh! 679 00:48:01,442 --> 00:48:03,244 No, fix the... Oh! 680 00:48:03,310 --> 00:48:07,348 No! 681 00:48:07,414 --> 00:48:10,851 Should we be this low? 682 00:48:14,755 --> 00:48:18,059 Come on. Come on. Let's keep goin'. Come on. 683 00:48:19,793 --> 00:48:25,066 We just violated about 115 federal laws. 684 00:48:25,132 --> 00:48:27,801 "We"? I'm getting out of here. Are you coming? 685 00:48:27,868 --> 00:48:31,538 No. No, no. I know things look bad... 686 00:48:33,740 --> 00:48:35,609 Nice meeting you. 687 00:48:38,912 --> 00:48:41,015 Get out of the truck, Shawn. 688 00:48:41,082 --> 00:48:44,418 That's it, Tracy. You and I are through. 689 00:48:46,954 --> 00:48:49,556 Tracy! Wait! 690 00:48:57,064 --> 00:49:00,801 Wait. This is the first illegal thing I've done in my adult life. 691 00:49:00,867 --> 00:49:02,736 How does it feel? 692 00:49:02,803 --> 00:49:06,107 I'm shaking, but that could be from the helicopter crash. 693 00:49:06,173 --> 00:49:10,611 - Get out of my truck, Tracy! - It's my truck, Shawn! I paid for it! 694 00:49:10,677 --> 00:49:12,946 Who is this? Oh, nobody. 695 00:49:13,014 --> 00:49:14,781 You are nobody. Nobody. 696 00:49:14,848 --> 00:49:18,885 You stay away from her, nobody, unless you're tired of livin'. 697 00:49:18,952 --> 00:49:23,224 Shawn, while you're here, do me a favor. Charlene left a bra in the truck. 698 00:49:23,290 --> 00:49:26,660 Could you make sure she gets it? Thanks, honey. 699 00:49:26,727 --> 00:49:29,063 Oh! Help! 700 00:50:16,177 --> 00:50:19,012 So where's the driver? He's in the powder room. 701 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,949 Hell's bells. We're never gonna get to Santa Fe by 3:00. 702 00:50:23,016 --> 00:50:24,851 This is ridiculous. Ridiculous. 703 00:50:24,918 --> 00:50:28,922 I really wish he'd hurry. It just seems very unprofessional. 704 00:50:33,927 --> 00:50:35,762 Oh! 705 00:50:35,829 --> 00:50:38,499 Oh. Oh, mister, you gotta help me. My wife... 706 00:50:38,565 --> 00:50:40,101 She's out back. She's having a baby. 707 00:50:40,167 --> 00:50:42,136 - She's having a what? - A baby! 708 00:50:42,203 --> 00:50:44,105 She's having a baby? And it's halfway out! 709 00:50:44,171 --> 00:50:46,440 I can see the head! Oh! 710 00:50:46,507 --> 00:50:49,543 - I need your jacket. - Why? 711 00:50:49,610 --> 00:50:53,847 - Uh, for her amniotic sac! - Oh! 712 00:50:53,914 --> 00:50:56,550 - Her amniotic fluid... It's all gushing out. - Gushing? 713 00:50:56,617 --> 00:50:59,886 The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! 714 00:50:59,953 --> 00:51:02,756 - And your pants. - My pants? 715 00:51:02,823 --> 00:51:06,227 Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia," 716 00:51:06,293 --> 00:51:09,330 you know, and her labia and cervical... 717 00:51:09,396 --> 00:51:12,633 Mucus gushing... It's gushing. 718 00:51:12,699 --> 00:51:16,170 It's just a hole and... 719 00:51:16,237 --> 00:51:18,539 Quick! The pants. And the hat. 720 00:51:18,605 --> 00:51:21,542 You want my hat? Why? Why my hat? 721 00:51:21,608 --> 00:51:23,844 Uh, for her, uh, 722 00:51:24,978 --> 00:51:26,913 vagina. 723 00:51:29,416 --> 00:51:32,353 Let's go, ladies. All aboard. We're on our way. 724 00:51:32,419 --> 00:51:36,957 What happened to Marty? Marty? Family emergency. His wife's having a baby. 725 00:51:37,023 --> 00:51:40,794 A baby? Yes, I'm Owen. I'm your new driver. Let's go. 726 00:51:40,861 --> 00:51:43,264 Shh. Quiet. Quiet, everybody. 727 00:51:43,330 --> 00:51:45,399 Simmer down. Hey! 728 00:51:45,466 --> 00:51:49,370 We're gonna be under way in just a minute. This is Owen. 729 00:51:49,436 --> 00:51:52,206 He's our new driver. 730 00:51:52,273 --> 00:51:54,841 Everyone say hello. 731 00:51:54,908 --> 00:51:58,679 Hello, Owen! 732 00:51:58,745 --> 00:52:01,448 Our next stop is the third annual... 733 00:52:01,515 --> 00:52:05,452 I Love Lucy convention in Santa Fe, New Mexico. 734 00:52:05,519 --> 00:52:09,390 - What do ya say? - Ba-ba-loo! 735 00:52:23,637 --> 00:52:25,806 Ohh! Ohh! 736 00:52:41,855 --> 00:52:45,926 Is he dead? Hey, mister, are you dead? 737 00:52:48,362 --> 00:52:51,398 It's a race. It's a race. It's a race. 738 00:52:51,465 --> 00:52:55,902 Run, run, like greased lightning. 739 00:52:55,969 --> 00:52:59,506 Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! 740 00:53:04,378 --> 00:53:07,548 Not good. Not good. 741 00:53:07,614 --> 00:53:11,285 No, no, no, no. 742 00:53:11,352 --> 00:53:13,987 No, no, no, no. 743 00:53:14,054 --> 00:53:15,856 Don't move! Stay there. 744 00:53:15,922 --> 00:53:17,991 I saw the whole thing. I'll be right down. 745 00:53:18,058 --> 00:53:21,595 Oh, shit! Gloria Allred. 746 00:53:21,662 --> 00:53:25,198 Hey, buddy? Buddy, you okay? You okay? 747 00:53:25,266 --> 00:53:27,568 Ta-dah! You're fine! You look great. 748 00:53:27,634 --> 00:53:29,570 You don't want to report this, do ya? Taxi! 749 00:53:29,636 --> 00:53:31,638 You don't need a taxi. Come on! 750 00:53:31,705 --> 00:53:33,674 Where you goin'? Maybe I can drop you off. 751 00:53:33,740 --> 00:53:36,543 Silver City, New Mexico. I am in a race. 752 00:53:36,610 --> 00:53:39,280 Silver City? This is your lucky day! No. 753 00:53:39,346 --> 00:53:42,182 I'm going to El Paso. It's right on the way. 754 00:53:42,249 --> 00:53:46,253 Come on. Oh, but, uh, look, I got to be there by 7:00 tonight, 755 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:49,189 so I'm going to be driving very fast. Great. 756 00:53:49,256 --> 00:53:51,692 Yeah! 757 00:53:51,758 --> 00:53:55,429 You just want one copy, 'cause you get an extra one for half price? 758 00:53:55,496 --> 00:53:57,798 Just one and hurry. 759 00:53:57,864 --> 00:53:59,933 This is the best idea you ever had. 760 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,603 We split up. We take two keys. We double our chances of winning. 761 00:54:02,669 --> 00:54:04,605 It can't fail. 762 00:54:04,671 --> 00:54:07,308 You remember where we're goin'? Silver City, New Mexico. 763 00:54:07,374 --> 00:54:10,010 Right. Train station, locker 001. 764 00:54:10,076 --> 00:54:12,012 "Ero, ero," one. 765 00:54:12,078 --> 00:54:14,781 discretion. Don't talk to anybody. 766 00:54:14,848 --> 00:54:18,118 I won't. I "romise." I'm serious. We're talking about $2 million... 767 00:54:18,184 --> 00:54:19,653 in cash. 768 00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:23,023 People would just kill us to get their hands on that key. 769 00:54:23,089 --> 00:54:26,226 I love you. 770 00:54:26,293 --> 00:54:28,995 All right, little brother, you steal a car. 771 00:54:29,062 --> 00:54:31,532 I'm gonna try to steal that Corvette right there. 772 00:54:31,598 --> 00:54:34,134 I don't care what you get as long as it's fast. 773 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,770 I'll meet you in Silver City. Don't forget your key. 774 00:54:38,539 --> 00:54:41,908 That "other-ucking" bastard! 775 00:54:41,975 --> 00:54:45,045 I'll kill 'im! I'm gonna... 776 00:54:45,111 --> 00:54:46,913 Whoo! 777 00:54:46,980 --> 00:54:49,950 There he is! 778 00:54:51,217 --> 00:54:53,954 Go! Go! 779 00:54:55,121 --> 00:54:57,724 Okay, we're at 2.4 miles. 780 00:54:57,791 --> 00:55:01,061 There's the yellow sign with the graffiti. Turn right. I see it. 781 00:55:01,127 --> 00:55:02,929 Do you see it? I see it. 782 00:55:02,996 --> 00:55:05,466 I just love this. This is like a treasure hunt. 783 00:55:08,168 --> 00:55:10,504 - Slow down! - I can't! 784 00:55:15,075 --> 00:55:17,143 Help! 785 00:55:46,473 --> 00:55:50,844 But I guess my favorite episode, if I had to pick a favorite, would be episode 34. 786 00:55:50,911 --> 00:55:54,781 Ladies, Lucys, Lucys, stay behind the line, please. 787 00:55:54,848 --> 00:55:57,584 Remember that one when Ricky wouldn't take his hat off? 788 00:55:57,651 --> 00:56:00,921 I don't remember that one. It sounds... like a masterpiece. 789 00:56:00,987 --> 00:56:03,790 How about the one where she got caught in the freezer? 790 00:56:03,857 --> 00:56:07,894 Ma'am? Lucy! You have to put that out, please. 791 00:56:14,535 --> 00:56:19,473 Uh, Lucy, your hair! 792 00:56:19,540 --> 00:56:23,777 Oh, thank you. You know, I couldn't decide whether to keep it up or try something new. 793 00:56:23,844 --> 00:56:26,346 It's on fire! 794 00:56:32,986 --> 00:56:36,857 - Stop the bus! - We're not stoppin'! 795 00:56:36,923 --> 00:56:39,560 Just put it out! Just put it out! 796 00:56:39,626 --> 00:56:42,863 Stop! 797 00:56:42,929 --> 00:56:45,532 The bathroom! 798 00:57:13,494 --> 00:57:18,231 Two million dollars. Two million dollars. Two million dollars. 799 00:57:18,298 --> 00:57:22,836 Two million dollars. Two million dollars. Two million dollars. 800 00:57:22,903 --> 00:57:25,672 The Donald Sinclair, the billionaire? 801 00:57:25,739 --> 00:57:28,909 It sounds crazy, I know, but I think it's on the level. 802 00:57:28,975 --> 00:57:31,812 Here's the thing. We have to decide yes or no right now. 803 00:57:31,878 --> 00:57:36,583 We're here. If everybody else had to drive the whole way, we have a three-hour head start. 804 00:57:36,650 --> 00:57:40,487 - So you're proposing? - We form a corporation... Faucet and Schaffer, Inc. 805 00:57:40,554 --> 00:57:44,591 If we win, we split everything 50-50. Here. You can even hold the key. 806 00:57:45,959 --> 00:57:48,695 What do ya think? 807 00:57:48,762 --> 00:57:51,297 I don't know what to think. I'm in shock. 808 00:57:51,364 --> 00:57:56,703 Three hours ago I was sitting in the airport. I had a job. I was reading a book. 809 00:57:56,770 --> 00:57:59,272 My grandfather used to say, "Good things take time. 810 00:57:59,339 --> 00:58:01,875 Great things happen all at once." 811 00:58:07,748 --> 00:58:12,218 Jason, where'd you get that? I found it under the seat. 812 00:58:12,285 --> 00:58:16,489 Give it to me right now. You can't play that. Why not? 813 00:58:16,557 --> 00:58:19,960 Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica. 814 00:58:20,026 --> 00:58:24,297 - You're driving his car. - Yes, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. 815 00:58:24,364 --> 00:58:28,168 I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not gettin' his germs. 816 00:58:28,234 --> 00:58:30,203 Dad, look what I found. 817 00:58:30,270 --> 00:58:35,041 - Where'd you get those? - The floor. Look, I'm Mrs. Hitler. 818 00:58:35,108 --> 00:58:37,143 All right, take those off right now. 819 00:58:37,210 --> 00:58:40,113 Hey, look at this. A lipstick. Ooh, it's dark. 820 00:58:40,180 --> 00:58:42,215 That Eva Braun had style, didn't she? 821 00:58:42,282 --> 00:58:45,018 - She was Hitler's girlfriend. - Give us a kiss. 822 00:58:45,085 --> 00:58:47,020 Bev, it's not funny. Give me that. 823 00:58:47,087 --> 00:58:50,256 Honey! I got it all over my hand. 824 00:58:50,323 --> 00:58:52,726 Oh! Randy! 825 00:59:11,845 --> 00:59:14,981 Look at us go. We are zooming. 826 00:59:15,048 --> 00:59:17,383 I told you. We're haulin' ass. 827 00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:21,187 We're haulin' ass. All righty. 828 00:59:24,891 --> 00:59:28,394 - Guess what I got back there. - You just told me. 829 00:59:28,461 --> 00:59:30,764 Ass. We're haulin' ass. 830 00:59:30,831 --> 00:59:33,399 No, no, no. That's just an expression. 831 00:59:33,466 --> 00:59:35,268 Oh. 832 00:59:36,603 --> 00:59:38,672 It's a heart. 833 00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:44,711 - A heart? - A human heart. 834 00:59:44,778 --> 00:59:47,848 Some lucky bastard in El Paso's waiting for it. 835 00:59:47,914 --> 00:59:53,319 Normally, they put it on a plane, but the airport's all closed down, so... 836 00:59:57,724 --> 01:00:01,094 - You wanna see it? - See what? 837 01:00:10,536 --> 01:00:12,605 Are we allowed? 838 01:00:12,673 --> 01:00:16,209 Just take a peek. One peek. What could happen? 839 01:00:18,044 --> 01:00:21,014 It's a heart. It needs fresh air. 840 01:00:21,081 --> 01:00:24,050 It's been locked up in that cooler for seven hours. 841 01:00:48,942 --> 01:00:50,944 Ohh! 842 01:00:57,884 --> 01:00:59,920 Oh! Oh! Oopsy-daisy. 843 01:00:59,986 --> 01:01:02,823 Shit! Oh, please! I get it. I get it. 844 01:01:02,889 --> 01:01:05,391 Don't step on it! I think I found it. 845 01:01:05,458 --> 01:01:07,293 No, that's a caramel apple. 846 01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,175 This is wrong. This is so wrong. Shh. 847 01:01:22,242 --> 01:01:25,245 God is gonna smote us. We're gonna get smote. Shh! 848 01:01:25,311 --> 01:01:28,114 Come on. We're siphoning gas. It's not a smoting offense. 849 01:01:28,181 --> 01:01:30,083 What? 850 01:01:36,689 --> 01:01:38,725 Shouldn't be turning me on, should it? 851 01:01:42,595 --> 01:01:44,831 - Hey! - Hi. 852 01:01:44,898 --> 01:01:48,668 - What are you doing? - Seventeen cups of coffee. 853 01:01:52,038 --> 01:01:55,441 Ah! I guess, uh... 854 01:01:55,508 --> 01:01:58,111 I guess that's it. Oh. 855 01:01:58,178 --> 01:02:00,781 Oh! I guess not. 856 01:02:00,847 --> 01:02:03,349 Oh. How do you turn this thing off? 857 01:02:03,416 --> 01:02:05,151 Son of a bitch! 858 01:02:12,625 --> 01:02:16,629 Man! Damn it! Keep going. Go! Go! 859 01:02:19,132 --> 01:02:21,067 He's stopping. 860 01:02:21,134 --> 01:02:23,203 'Cause he knows, don't mess with us. 861 01:02:43,156 --> 01:02:46,126 We gotta wait. There's too much wind. 862 01:02:46,192 --> 01:02:49,729 Guys, I need this balloon. Hey, what are you doing? 863 01:02:49,796 --> 01:02:51,865 Hey, man, what... 864 01:02:56,336 --> 01:02:58,571 - Hey, hey! - I know what I'm doing. 865 01:02:58,638 --> 01:03:02,909 Whoo! Whoa! 866 01:03:02,976 --> 01:03:06,379 I'm coming to get you! Get back here! 867 01:03:11,151 --> 01:03:14,888 I'll get him. I'm gonna get you, stupid hardware guy! Ohh! 868 01:03:20,026 --> 01:03:25,565 Go! Go! Stand up. Grab the rope. 869 01:03:25,631 --> 01:03:29,235 I'm gonna get you! Stand up. Ready? Grab it. 870 01:03:31,371 --> 01:03:33,273 Missed it. 871 01:03:33,339 --> 01:03:37,643 Duane! Duane, stop the car! Hang on, buddy. 872 01:03:37,710 --> 01:03:39,679 Duane, please stop. 873 01:03:39,745 --> 01:03:42,282 Oh! Duane! 874 01:03:42,348 --> 01:03:45,651 I got it! I got it! Just hang on. 875 01:03:45,718 --> 01:03:50,390 Duane! 876 01:03:50,456 --> 01:03:53,359 Whoa! 877 01:03:53,426 --> 01:03:57,830 Stop it! Blaine! My God! You're gonna kill me! 878 01:03:58,764 --> 01:04:00,867 The cows! 879 01:04:02,668 --> 01:04:04,537 Whoa! 880 01:04:04,604 --> 01:04:06,506 Move! 881 01:04:10,210 --> 01:04:13,579 Watch out! 882 01:04:32,265 --> 01:04:33,333 Shit. 883 01:04:40,773 --> 01:04:43,609 Duane! 884 01:04:43,676 --> 01:04:45,611 Whoa! 885 01:04:45,678 --> 01:04:47,813 Oh, God! 886 01:04:56,622 --> 01:04:59,459 Help! Hey! 887 01:05:04,097 --> 01:05:06,933 Give me my key. What are you talking about? 888 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,869 Give me back my key. What key? 889 01:05:09,936 --> 01:05:11,604 Give me the key. 890 01:05:25,551 --> 01:05:28,588 Uhh! 891 01:05:59,652 --> 01:06:04,357 Blaine! Blaine! It's me. 892 01:06:04,424 --> 01:06:06,259 Duane! 893 01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:16,369 I got the key. 894 01:06:23,243 --> 01:06:25,678 How's it going, Captain? 895 01:06:25,745 --> 01:06:27,647 So far, so good. 896 01:06:27,713 --> 01:06:31,917 How about a pit stop? Sorry. This is a one-way flight. 897 01:06:31,984 --> 01:06:33,986 There's a bathroom in the back. 898 01:06:34,054 --> 01:06:36,956 The latch is broken. Anybody could just come in. 899 01:06:37,023 --> 01:06:41,661 So what? You ain't got nothing the other Lucys haven't seen already. 900 01:06:41,727 --> 01:06:44,097 Not necessarily. 901 01:06:44,164 --> 01:06:46,299 Please, would you stop screaming? 902 01:06:46,366 --> 01:06:48,000 Damn! 903 01:06:50,536 --> 01:06:53,339 Help me! 904 01:06:53,406 --> 01:06:56,142 For God's sake, help me! 905 01:07:08,921 --> 01:07:11,091 Oh, shit. 906 01:07:11,157 --> 01:07:13,493 Waaaaaah! 907 01:07:16,896 --> 01:07:20,032 Owen! Owen, what are you doing? 908 01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:22,034 It's a flat tire. Please, stay on the bus. 909 01:07:22,102 --> 01:07:25,638 Well, you're turning it the wrong way. I know what I'm doing. 910 01:07:25,705 --> 01:07:29,542 Please, get on the bus. Wait! Maybe we should check the oil. 911 01:07:29,609 --> 01:07:33,413 I think you're supposed to change the air in the tires every 12,000 miles. 912 01:07:33,479 --> 01:07:36,249 I can fix it. Give me that! 913 01:07:36,316 --> 01:07:40,019 Wait! No! That's the spare! 914 01:07:43,756 --> 01:07:48,161 Oh, no! Oh, no! 915 01:07:48,228 --> 01:07:50,563 We'll still catch it. 916 01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:53,399 Oh! Oh! 917 01:07:53,466 --> 01:07:56,602 Ooh, ooh. 918 01:07:59,805 --> 01:08:03,176 Waaaaaah! 919 01:08:15,555 --> 01:08:19,592 No, no. Turn it around. Just turn it around. 920 01:08:19,659 --> 01:08:22,862 Please be careful. Wait, wait, wait. What is that? 921 01:08:25,064 --> 01:08:28,334 - It's a nickel. - Would you please put it in the bag? 922 01:08:45,818 --> 01:08:50,256 Why don't you check over there? Maybe it bounced. 923 01:08:52,692 --> 01:08:56,696 - I'm a dead man. - Don't worry, my friend. We will find the heart. 924 01:08:56,762 --> 01:09:00,900 I have lost my heart many times before. 925 01:09:04,704 --> 01:09:06,506 I make a joke... 926 01:09:06,572 --> 01:09:10,676 to help you forget how screwed you are. 927 01:09:10,743 --> 01:09:15,581 I don't think it got this far. Let's check down by the road. 928 01:09:15,648 --> 01:09:17,850 Oh, hello. A doggy. 929 01:09:17,917 --> 01:09:20,152 Hello. Hello. Hello there. 930 01:09:20,220 --> 01:09:22,455 Isn't he a good doggy? 931 01:09:22,522 --> 01:09:25,258 Come on. Come on. Fetch. Fetch it. 932 01:09:26,992 --> 01:09:29,862 Look at him go. Oh! 933 01:09:31,864 --> 01:09:34,500 - Here, boy! - Doggy! 934 01:09:34,567 --> 01:09:35,935 Good boy! 935 01:09:40,172 --> 01:09:42,542 It really is a beautiful car. Yeah. 936 01:09:42,608 --> 01:09:44,744 I mean, look at this mahogany. Gorgeous. 937 01:09:44,810 --> 01:09:47,947 You just don't see that anymore, you know? No. 938 01:09:48,013 --> 01:09:51,050 I wonder what this is. Honey, careful. That's a cigarette lighter. 939 01:09:51,116 --> 01:09:53,253 No, I don't think they had those then. Yes, they did. 940 01:09:53,319 --> 01:09:56,088 Ow! Oh! Oh, honey! Did you burn yourself? 941 01:09:56,155 --> 01:09:59,425 Yeah. Oh, God! Oh, I told you. 942 01:09:59,492 --> 01:10:03,663 Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. 943 01:10:03,729 --> 01:10:06,299 My husband... He burned his finger, ma'am. 944 01:10:06,366 --> 01:10:10,202 - Yeah, he was pulling and then he was waving... - Bev, Bev, not helping. 945 01:10:11,237 --> 01:10:13,273 Hi. Hi. 946 01:10:15,741 --> 01:10:18,944 I really like your dike. Bike. 947 01:10:20,212 --> 01:10:22,147 It's nice. 948 01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:31,090 Cut 'em off! Get in front! Ah! 949 01:10:31,156 --> 01:10:33,759 Hey! What are you, nuts? Get down! 950 01:10:33,826 --> 01:10:35,871 Kids, stay down! This thing won't go any faster! 951 01:10:35,895 --> 01:10:38,398 Stop it! The headlights! The headlight! 952 01:10:38,464 --> 01:10:42,968 Oh, my God! Are you insane? This is Hitler's car! 953 01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:04,457 Honey, go ask them for help. Tell them everything that happened. 954 01:11:04,524 --> 01:11:06,892 And ask them to call the police. 955 01:11:06,959 --> 01:11:09,895 And a tow truck. 956 01:11:53,238 --> 01:11:55,441 Hello. Hello. 957 01:11:55,508 --> 01:11:58,043 Are you Harold? Yes. 958 01:11:58,110 --> 01:12:00,613 I'm Vicky. 959 01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:03,683 Are you gonna invite me in, Harry? 960 01:12:03,749 --> 01:12:05,918 Or would you rather party out here in the hallway? 961 01:12:05,985 --> 01:12:07,920 Please. Come in. 962 01:12:12,124 --> 01:12:13,959 Not too shabby. 963 01:12:15,294 --> 01:12:17,830 Where are you from, Harry? From here. 964 01:12:17,897 --> 01:12:21,634 Las Vegas. A local boy makes good. 965 01:12:23,603 --> 01:12:27,407 So, Harry, what can I do for you? 966 01:12:27,473 --> 01:12:30,710 Okay. Here's what I want. 967 01:12:30,776 --> 01:12:33,613 First we both get naked. 968 01:12:33,679 --> 01:12:38,083 Mmm. So far, so good. Only we're wearing sailor hats. 969 01:12:38,150 --> 01:12:40,352 Mmm. And then... 970 01:12:40,420 --> 01:12:44,457 we get into a Jacuzzi... 971 01:12:44,524 --> 01:12:46,892 f-f-f-filled with Pepto-Bismol. 972 01:12:46,959 --> 01:12:48,494 And... 973 01:12:48,561 --> 01:12:52,164 I clip your toenails, 974 01:12:52,231 --> 01:12:54,400 and you shave my buttocks. 975 01:12:55,801 --> 01:12:57,637 Pardon me? 976 01:12:57,703 --> 01:13:01,574 Okay, um, naked, um, Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismol, 977 01:13:01,641 --> 01:13:04,610 toenails, shave my buttocks. 978 01:13:04,677 --> 01:13:06,646 How much would that cost? 979 01:13:06,712 --> 01:13:10,015 Geez, honey, you have quite an imagination. 980 01:13:10,082 --> 01:13:12,384 How much would it cost? 981 01:13:14,386 --> 01:13:16,989 Well, let's see. 982 01:13:17,056 --> 01:13:20,426 A party like that... 983 01:13:20,493 --> 01:13:22,462 Three thousand dollars. 984 01:13:22,528 --> 01:13:26,298 Okay, 3,000. Who had 3,000? 985 01:13:26,365 --> 01:13:28,367 Carlton had 2,800. He's the closest. 986 01:13:48,854 --> 01:13:51,824 I-I-I think it's okay. What do you think? 987 01:13:51,891 --> 01:13:54,794 Wh-Wh-What about those little holes? 988 01:13:54,860 --> 01:13:58,097 Are they bite marks? No, no, no. No, no. 989 01:13:58,163 --> 01:14:02,201 That's... That's how it was. I'm... I'm pretty sure. 990 01:14:02,267 --> 01:14:04,269 What am I doing? 991 01:14:04,336 --> 01:14:06,739 I can't go to El Paso with this. 992 01:14:06,806 --> 01:14:09,942 Look at it. It's gonna leak like a sieve. 993 01:14:10,009 --> 01:14:14,747 The guy's gonna be alive for like two minutes and then, eeeeeee! 994 01:14:14,814 --> 01:14:16,982 Eeeeeeee! 995 01:14:20,085 --> 01:14:23,355 A drifter. A drifter? 996 01:14:23,422 --> 01:14:27,392 We... We find a drifter, 997 01:14:27,459 --> 01:14:29,361 kill him, cut out his heart. 998 01:14:29,428 --> 01:14:32,097 Nobody's gonna miss him, right? I mean, he's a drifter. 999 01:14:32,164 --> 01:14:34,466 He's an invisible man. It's a perfect plan. 1000 01:14:34,534 --> 01:14:37,269 Mr. Zack, now you are giving me the freak-out. 1001 01:14:37,336 --> 01:14:41,541 Where... Where do I find a drifter? 1002 01:14:47,446 --> 01:14:50,082 Enrico. Hmm? 1003 01:14:50,149 --> 01:14:53,886 Where did you say you were from? Me? I am from Napoli. 1004 01:14:53,953 --> 01:14:58,591 Oh. And-And your family, they're back there? 1005 01:14:58,658 --> 01:15:02,361 No. No, my papa, he is dead. Oh. 1006 01:15:02,427 --> 01:15:07,366 And my mama. All gone. 1007 01:15:07,432 --> 01:15:10,102 Any family? Kids? 1008 01:15:10,169 --> 01:15:12,605 No. No. 1009 01:15:12,672 --> 01:15:16,876 I am completely alone. 1010 01:15:16,942 --> 01:15:19,278 Why, uh... 1011 01:15:19,344 --> 01:15:22,114 Why do you... 1012 01:15:24,817 --> 01:15:27,687 Look, a drifter. Let's kill him. 1013 01:15:27,753 --> 01:15:29,755 Son of a... Come back here! 1014 01:15:52,077 --> 01:15:55,047 Whatever. Listen, sugar. You're not going anywhere today. 1015 01:15:55,114 --> 01:15:57,149 You got a crack in your radiator. 1016 01:15:57,216 --> 01:15:59,785 That's this big tank in front of this big engine. 1017 01:15:59,852 --> 01:16:02,955 I know what a radiator is. Okay, okay. Is there a place we can rent a car? 1018 01:16:03,022 --> 01:16:05,224 - Albuquerque. - Okay, look. 1019 01:16:05,290 --> 01:16:07,359 We'll just have to patch it. A quick fix. 1020 01:16:07,426 --> 01:16:11,363 - Patch it? Patch it with what? - Sand and tire sealant. 1021 01:16:11,430 --> 01:16:15,067 You mix the two together, it forms an adhesive. It should last a couple of hours. 1022 01:16:15,134 --> 01:16:17,002 We only have about 30 miles to go? 1023 01:16:17,069 --> 01:16:20,205 Darlin', we don't have any sand. 1024 01:16:20,272 --> 01:16:23,643 Hello! We're in the desert! 1025 01:16:29,548 --> 01:16:31,684 We should've bought a squirrel. 1026 01:16:38,958 --> 01:16:43,062 Mother of mercy! Where'd you come from? Car trouble? 1027 01:16:43,128 --> 01:16:47,132 Here. Sit down. You two look exhausted. 1028 01:16:47,199 --> 01:16:50,135 How long y'all been out there? Here. Have something to drink. 1029 01:16:50,202 --> 01:16:52,638 Ladies and gentlemen, members of the press... 1030 01:16:52,705 --> 01:16:57,009 - What's going on? - Oh, a bunch of rocket scientists from L.A., 1031 01:16:57,076 --> 01:16:59,679 they're trying to break the land speed record. 1032 01:17:02,547 --> 01:17:06,218 Which is a unique combination of automotive and aerodynamic innovation. 1033 01:17:06,285 --> 01:17:08,587 The vehicle, which we call Lightning II, 1034 01:17:08,654 --> 01:17:10,522 represents three years of R and D... 1035 01:17:10,589 --> 01:17:13,759 which was conducted at the California Institute of Technology. 1036 01:17:13,826 --> 01:17:18,831 The design team was led by Professor Ken Freedman and Dr. Richard Kramer. 1037 01:17:18,898 --> 01:17:21,300 We believe that aerodynamically... 1038 01:17:21,366 --> 01:17:24,136 this is the most perfect vehicle ever designed. 1039 01:17:24,203 --> 01:17:28,007 The entire vehicle weighs less than 1,850 pounds. 1040 01:17:28,073 --> 01:17:30,810 The body is a one-piece Kevlar composite. 1041 01:17:30,876 --> 01:17:33,012 The wheels are solid billet aluminum, 1042 01:17:33,078 --> 01:17:36,816 and she's powered by twin JE-79 turbo jet engines, 1043 01:17:36,882 --> 01:17:39,518 the same engines that are in the F-4 Phantom jet. 1044 01:17:39,584 --> 01:17:41,453 Are there any questions? 1045 01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:43,956 Mr. Calvert, what is the current land speed record? 1046 01:17:44,023 --> 01:17:46,125 That would be 742 miles per hour, 1047 01:17:46,191 --> 01:17:48,728 but we hope to have a new record today. 1048 01:17:48,794 --> 01:17:52,297 - Anyone else? - How do you start it? 1049 01:17:52,364 --> 01:17:54,433 Ah, good question. 1050 01:17:54,499 --> 01:17:56,945 There's a green lever to the left of the steering wheel in the cockpit... 1051 01:17:56,969 --> 01:18:00,005 which engages the primary thruster, igniting the JE... 1052 01:18:13,452 --> 01:18:17,356 740, 745... They're gonna break the sound barrier. That's a record. 1053 01:18:20,993 --> 01:18:24,196 Well, that's it. I still don't think she's gonna hold. 1054 01:18:24,263 --> 01:18:27,399 - What do we owe you? - Five hundred bucks. 1055 01:18:27,466 --> 01:18:30,870 What? For what? For two quarts of sealant? 1056 01:18:30,936 --> 01:18:34,106 No way. That's 20 bucks tops. 1057 01:18:34,173 --> 01:18:36,876 Okay, here's 40 dollars. That's double what it's worth, okay? 1058 01:18:36,942 --> 01:18:38,911 Come on, Nick. Let's go. 1059 01:18:40,545 --> 01:18:43,783 - Hold it. - Whoa. Hey, hey, hey. 1060 01:18:43,849 --> 01:18:46,518 Come on. Another little tool no mechanic should be without. 1061 01:18:46,585 --> 01:18:48,687 All right. Fine, fine. 1062 01:18:48,754 --> 01:18:52,191 Here's your $500. But you know what, Billy Ray? 1063 01:18:52,257 --> 01:18:54,326 What goes around, comes around. 1064 01:18:54,393 --> 01:18:56,328 This is so unchristian. 1065 01:18:56,395 --> 01:18:59,198 Unchristian? 1066 01:18:59,264 --> 01:19:02,634 Well, if the good Lord don't like the way I conduct business, 1067 01:19:02,701 --> 01:19:04,636 let Him say something. 1068 01:19:04,703 --> 01:19:06,705 Let Him give me a sign. 1069 01:19:06,772 --> 01:19:10,575 Oh, Lord, I'm here and I'm listening! 1070 01:19:10,642 --> 01:19:12,845 Hello! 1071 01:19:14,179 --> 01:19:17,883 Whoa! 1072 01:19:17,950 --> 01:19:21,921 Mach one! We did it! We did it! 1073 01:19:24,623 --> 01:19:27,259 Oh! Ohh! 1074 01:19:27,326 --> 01:19:30,963 Hey, everybody okay? You all right? Yeah? 1075 01:19:31,030 --> 01:19:34,633 Randy, you okay? There's no Ink, Inc. 1076 01:19:34,699 --> 01:19:37,803 What? There's no job. No. 1077 01:19:39,471 --> 01:19:41,573 It's a race. We're racing. 1078 01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:43,909 Donald Sinclair put $2 million in a locker. 1079 01:19:43,976 --> 01:19:47,112 And I wanna get there first. 1080 01:19:47,179 --> 01:19:51,183 I do not want to work at Home Depot! 1081 01:20:15,807 --> 01:20:17,309 Ah! 1082 01:20:22,147 --> 01:20:24,449 Okay, people, back on the bus. 1083 01:20:24,516 --> 01:20:26,551 George, don't eat that. 1084 01:20:26,618 --> 01:20:30,022 Get back on the bus! Come on. Back on the bus. 1085 01:20:30,089 --> 01:20:32,157 Simon, put that down. 1086 01:20:32,224 --> 01:20:35,928 You too. Back on the bus. Come on, everyone! 1087 01:20:35,995 --> 01:20:39,331 We don't wanna miss dinner. It's macaroni night! 1088 01:20:39,398 --> 01:20:42,167 Come on. 1089 01:20:42,234 --> 01:20:44,269 We came in the rocket car. 1090 01:20:44,336 --> 01:20:48,908 Oh, a rocket car. Let's hear all about that on the bus. 1091 01:20:48,974 --> 01:20:50,943 All right, so we can still win, 1092 01:20:51,010 --> 01:20:53,979 but we have to leave now, all right? 1093 01:20:54,046 --> 01:20:56,648 So, come on. Dad. 1094 01:20:56,715 --> 01:20:58,918 It's been a living hell. 1095 01:20:58,984 --> 01:21:02,787 Bev, it's... It's $2 million. 1096 01:21:02,854 --> 01:21:06,091 That's a lifetime supply of hummus. 1097 01:21:13,098 --> 01:21:16,701 Okay. Okay. Yeah. 1098 01:21:16,768 --> 01:21:19,571 I've been selfish. I understand. 1099 01:21:19,638 --> 01:21:22,975 I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1100 01:21:23,042 --> 01:21:27,246 I'm sorry. I almost got us killed. 1101 01:21:31,750 --> 01:21:33,885 God! 1102 01:21:42,027 --> 01:21:45,630 - Hi, everybody. Miss me? - Hey! 1103 01:21:45,697 --> 01:21:49,234 Listen. Just to show there's no hard feelings, chocolate shakes all around. 1104 01:21:49,301 --> 01:21:52,271 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 1105 01:21:52,337 --> 01:21:55,407 I'm a little disappointed, but I'm an adult. 1106 01:21:55,474 --> 01:21:58,010 So drink these up, and then we'll return the Nazi-mobile. 1107 01:21:58,077 --> 01:22:01,813 We'll get that van fixed, and we'll go back to Vegas and see David Copperfield! 1108 01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:05,917 Yea! Okay, drink up, buddy! 1109 01:22:05,985 --> 01:22:07,719 Is it good? Mm-hmm. 1110 01:22:07,786 --> 01:22:09,588 Drink it up, honey. 1111 01:22:12,257 --> 01:22:15,660 Owen, don't feel bad. 1112 01:22:15,727 --> 01:22:18,397 It's not your fault. We'll tell the company. 1113 01:22:18,463 --> 01:22:20,899 - We won't let them fire you. - No. 1114 01:22:20,966 --> 01:22:23,368 I'm no bus driver. Don't say that. 1115 01:22:23,435 --> 01:22:26,771 No. I'm not. I'm not a bus driver. 1116 01:22:26,838 --> 01:22:29,541 Oh, you mustn't be so hard on yourself. 1117 01:22:29,608 --> 01:22:33,078 Hey, everybody, who's the world's greatest bus driver? 1118 01:22:33,145 --> 01:22:37,716 Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen! 1119 01:22:37,782 --> 01:22:41,386 Owen! Owen! Owen! No, no. No, no, no. Listen. Listen. No, no! 1120 01:22:41,453 --> 01:22:45,624 No! No! Shut up, you crazy Lucy bitches! Shut up! 1121 01:22:45,690 --> 01:22:47,792 Owen! Owen. Owe... 1122 01:22:47,859 --> 01:22:50,529 I am not a bus driver! 1123 01:22:50,595 --> 01:22:54,699 I do not work for the bus company! All right? 1124 01:22:54,766 --> 01:22:59,471 I needed a ride to New Mexico, so I stole this uniform! 1125 01:22:59,538 --> 01:23:03,342 - See this jacket? This is not my jacket! - Oh, no! 1126 01:23:03,408 --> 01:23:05,344 Remember Marty, the bus driver? Huh? 1127 01:23:05,410 --> 01:23:09,581 This is his shirt! I stole it! 1128 01:23:09,648 --> 01:23:12,117 And these pants, you think I'd wear these pants? 1129 01:23:12,184 --> 01:23:14,553 - These aren't my pants! - Ohh! 1130 01:23:14,619 --> 01:23:17,389 These are Marty's pants. I stole them. 1131 01:23:20,359 --> 01:23:24,029 I am not... a bus driver. 1132 01:23:25,764 --> 01:23:29,501 You're not a real bus driver? 1133 01:23:29,568 --> 01:23:31,770 You lied to us! 1134 01:23:31,836 --> 01:23:35,574 - He ruined our whole vacation! 1135 01:23:44,483 --> 01:23:48,287 Here they come. They're all within 50 miles. 1136 01:23:48,353 --> 01:23:51,022 It's the final lap. Mr. Grisham. 1137 01:23:51,090 --> 01:23:54,193 Now, the airport's back on-line, so I want you to take the Lear jet, 1138 01:23:54,259 --> 01:23:57,662 scoot on down to Silver City and give us a play-by-play from the finish line. 1139 01:23:57,729 --> 01:23:59,631 Yes, sir. 1140 01:23:59,698 --> 01:24:01,633 Yes! 1141 01:24:24,189 --> 01:24:28,160 Let's go back to Vegas. Oh! Oh! 1142 01:24:28,227 --> 01:24:31,263 Bev, Bev, wake... Come on. Wake up. Wake up. 1143 01:24:31,330 --> 01:24:34,199 Bev, wake up. Wake up. Third Reich's here. Come on. 1144 01:24:34,266 --> 01:24:36,235 Get down. You wanna have a nice life. 1145 01:24:36,301 --> 01:24:39,738 Okay, okay. Think. Think. S.S. in the parking lot. 1146 01:24:39,804 --> 01:24:41,640 Not good. Not good. Think. 1147 01:24:44,209 --> 01:24:46,411 Hi, honey. 1148 01:24:46,478 --> 01:24:49,448 - They gonna be all right? - Yeah. 1149 01:24:49,514 --> 01:24:53,185 - Friend, uh, I don't think there's room. - No. 1150 01:24:54,819 --> 01:24:56,655 This one's little. 1151 01:24:58,523 --> 01:25:01,626 - There it is. There it is! - Silver City. We're almost there. 1152 01:25:01,693 --> 01:25:04,129 Yeah! Go! 1153 01:26:17,569 --> 01:26:21,039 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1154 01:26:32,116 --> 01:26:34,286 Where the fuck are we? 1155 01:27:39,784 --> 01:27:43,187 There were two guys in there. 1156 01:27:43,254 --> 01:27:45,223 Where'd they go? Hey! 1157 01:27:45,290 --> 01:27:48,293 Thanks for the truck, buddy! 1158 01:28:21,292 --> 01:28:23,362 Ohhh. 1159 01:28:46,785 --> 01:28:48,687 Ohh. 1160 01:28:50,288 --> 01:28:52,457 - Yeah. - Silver City. 1161 01:28:52,524 --> 01:28:54,626 Next stop, Silver City. 1162 01:28:54,693 --> 01:28:58,162 Silver City? It is the finish line. 1163 01:28:58,229 --> 01:29:01,533 I made it. I made it! 1164 01:29:03,468 --> 01:29:07,639 The key. Where is the key? 1165 01:29:10,509 --> 01:29:13,778 What have we... Where is the key, my little baby? 1166 01:29:13,845 --> 01:29:16,881 - Excuse me. - I think I am touching it. 1167 01:29:16,948 --> 01:29:20,919 Get away from him. I can feel it. I can feel it. It's very small. 1168 01:29:20,985 --> 01:29:25,424 I'm calling the conductor! I have it! I got it! 1169 01:29:25,490 --> 01:29:28,760 Wait! Wait! Come back! Don't leave me! 1170 01:29:33,465 --> 01:29:36,601 Come on! Come on, baby! 1171 01:29:38,169 --> 01:29:39,904 Giddyap! 1172 01:29:44,042 --> 01:29:47,979 Come on, baby. Just one more mile. 1173 01:29:48,046 --> 01:29:50,482 Just one mile. Come on! 1174 01:29:51,683 --> 01:29:53,585 Randy? 1175 01:29:54,753 --> 01:29:56,755 Hey, honey, how'd you sleep? 1176 01:30:02,026 --> 01:30:03,462 Ah! 1177 01:30:04,729 --> 01:30:07,866 - Pass. Pass him. - I can't. We're too big. 1178 01:30:07,932 --> 01:30:12,003 There's Silver City. We're here. Move! 1179 01:30:13,972 --> 01:30:16,608 They stopped. No. 1180 01:30:16,675 --> 01:30:21,112 They're moving. Look. 1181 01:30:30,622 --> 01:30:34,425 Come on, Dad! Let's go! 1182 01:30:34,493 --> 01:30:36,495 I can smell it. 1183 01:30:55,514 --> 01:30:58,483 Hey! Hey! Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 1184 01:30:58,550 --> 01:31:03,087 - We gotta get off! - Whoa. Ladies, ladies, ladies. You know the rules. 1185 01:31:03,154 --> 01:31:05,189 We're not crazy, lady. 1186 01:31:05,256 --> 01:31:07,234 We should've bought a squirrel. We didn't buy a squirrel. 1187 01:31:07,258 --> 01:31:09,894 - Which is why we stole the rocket car. - We can still win. 1188 01:31:09,961 --> 01:31:13,281 If you don't tell that driver to open the door, I'm gonna crush you like a cockroach. 1189 01:31:13,331 --> 01:31:15,667 Open the door! Tell him! Tell him! 1190 01:31:15,734 --> 01:31:17,769 Open the door. Thank you! 1191 01:31:40,859 --> 01:31:45,864 I-I-I-I-I-I... 1192 01:31:45,930 --> 01:31:47,799 It's Pollini. 1193 01:31:47,866 --> 01:31:50,201 Enrico Pollini on a train. 1194 01:31:50,268 --> 01:31:54,372 - He just rolled into the station. - Well, what do you know? 1195 01:31:54,438 --> 01:31:56,440 Rip Van Winkle pulled it off. 1196 01:31:56,507 --> 01:31:58,610 You gotta love a long shot. 1197 01:32:23,134 --> 01:32:26,004 It's here. It's here. 1198 01:32:26,070 --> 01:32:28,506 - It's here. - Here he comes. 1199 01:32:28,573 --> 01:32:31,409 It's you. He's holding the key. 1200 01:32:31,475 --> 01:32:33,511 Ah. 1201 01:32:33,578 --> 01:32:35,847 And he's going to the locker. 1202 01:32:37,415 --> 01:32:41,085 Mr. Pollini, well done, sir. And congratulations. 1203 01:32:41,152 --> 01:32:44,288 On behalf of Mr. Donald Sinclair, the Venetian Hotel and Casino... 1204 01:32:50,494 --> 01:32:53,598 Mr. Grisham, is it over? 1205 01:33:00,371 --> 01:33:02,173 Get out of the way! Open it! 1206 01:33:09,681 --> 01:33:11,683 He's sleeping. 1207 01:33:31,636 --> 01:33:34,706 Did I win? 1208 01:33:34,773 --> 01:33:36,941 Vicky. You let go of this bag, 1209 01:33:37,008 --> 01:33:40,544 or I swear to God, I'll report you to the escort service. 1210 01:33:40,611 --> 01:33:43,114 Uh, Mr. Grisham, what's going on? 1211 01:33:43,181 --> 01:33:46,918 The hooker... The hooker... The hooker is taking the money. 1212 01:33:46,985 --> 01:33:50,822 What hooker? Vicky. From the hotel. 1213 01:33:50,889 --> 01:33:54,425 Pepto-Bismol? Vicky, I told you to wait in the car. 1214 01:33:54,492 --> 01:33:57,161 What the hell is she doing there? I brought her. 1215 01:33:57,228 --> 01:34:00,965 I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair. She said she liked me. 1216 01:34:01,032 --> 01:34:04,502 I'm beginning to think she was only interested in the money! 1217 01:34:09,073 --> 01:34:11,676 Come with me. I'll drive. 1218 01:34:25,023 --> 01:34:28,993 So long, suckers! Whoo! 1219 01:34:35,199 --> 01:34:38,169 The bus! The bus. You wanna steal a bus? 1220 01:34:38,236 --> 01:34:41,672 Yes, I do. My God, what have I done? 1221 01:34:41,740 --> 01:34:44,542 Help! Somebody help me! 1222 01:34:47,478 --> 01:34:50,314 - Aah! - This thing's got a mind of its own. 1223 01:34:56,888 --> 01:34:59,423 - Finders keepers, pal. - That's mine. 1224 01:34:59,490 --> 01:35:01,760 I see it! I see it! Relax! 1225 01:35:04,796 --> 01:35:08,666 Oh, no! Oh! 1226 01:35:14,672 --> 01:35:16,841 It means it's a scratch. Nobody wins. 1227 01:35:16,908 --> 01:35:20,644 Bullshit. I'll tell you what it means. It means we're going into extra innings. 1228 01:35:20,711 --> 01:35:23,848 Carla, call the airport. Tell them to get my other Lear ready. 1229 01:35:23,915 --> 01:35:27,027 Gordon, you stay here and keep your eye on the board. Tell us where they're going. 1230 01:35:27,051 --> 01:35:30,989 Gentlemen, grab your drinks. We're going to Silver City. 1231 01:35:41,299 --> 01:35:43,234 Is that it? That's it. 1232 01:35:43,301 --> 01:35:45,703 Thank the pilot. Tell him to level off. 1233 01:35:45,770 --> 01:35:48,807 All right, who had Mr. Kimiche? 1234 01:35:48,873 --> 01:35:51,142 - It was me. - Well done! 1235 01:35:51,209 --> 01:35:54,212 Congratulations. Very good. 1236 01:35:57,248 --> 01:35:59,217 Keep going! 1237 01:35:59,283 --> 01:36:02,253 Come on! 1238 01:36:02,320 --> 01:36:04,956 There it is. It's coming down right there. 1239 01:36:21,272 --> 01:36:23,341 Where is it? There it is. 1240 01:36:23,407 --> 01:36:25,276 Get it! 1241 01:36:28,179 --> 01:36:31,649 Get it! Get it! Grab that money! 1242 01:36:31,715 --> 01:36:33,818 Get it down! 1243 01:36:51,602 --> 01:36:53,905 - Now, that is one hell of an entrance. - Whoa! 1244 01:36:53,972 --> 01:36:55,840 It's Smash Mouth! 1245 01:36:55,907 --> 01:36:58,476 What's going on over here? 1246 01:36:59,743 --> 01:37:01,779 What's this? Money. 1247 01:37:01,846 --> 01:37:03,982 Jesus, how much is this? 1248 01:37:04,048 --> 01:37:06,350 Two million dollars. Two... 1249 01:37:06,417 --> 01:37:10,521 Two million... Two million dollars, everybody! 1250 01:37:12,924 --> 01:37:15,126 Two million dollars! 1251 01:37:15,193 --> 01:37:18,096 On the bus, we talked about it, 1252 01:37:18,162 --> 01:37:22,100 and we decide to share all the money. 1253 01:37:22,166 --> 01:37:25,269 They're gonna share all the money, everybody! 1254 01:37:25,336 --> 01:37:28,106 Oh, man! 1255 01:37:28,172 --> 01:37:30,875 Yeah, let's get these guys some jackets. 1256 01:37:30,942 --> 01:37:33,277 Get these jack... Get these jackets over here. 1257 01:37:34,879 --> 01:37:38,216 So what's the story, man? Are you guys some kind of organization? 1258 01:37:38,282 --> 01:37:42,086 What's going on? No, no. We just met this morning. 1259 01:37:42,153 --> 01:37:45,223 They just met this morning, everybody! 1260 01:37:45,289 --> 01:37:46,657 Oh, my God! 1261 01:37:46,724 --> 01:37:49,827 I almost didn't come along, but then I met Tracy and... 1262 01:37:49,894 --> 01:37:52,030 Well, great things happen all at once. 1263 01:37:52,096 --> 01:37:55,366 Oh, this is beautiful, baby. This is beautiful. Oh! 1264 01:37:55,433 --> 01:37:57,936 Great things happen, I don't know. 1265 01:37:58,970 --> 01:38:00,871 Feed the earth, baby. Feed the earth. 1266 01:38:00,939 --> 01:38:05,076 We're gonna check the tote board right now and see where we're at. Okay? 1267 01:38:05,143 --> 01:38:08,512 Come on, baby. Let it roll. Come on, baby. 1268 01:38:14,485 --> 01:38:16,287 No! No! 1269 01:38:16,354 --> 01:38:19,523 - No, no, no! - You don't understand. 1270 01:38:24,929 --> 01:38:29,700 Excuse me. We work for Feed the Earth. 1271 01:38:29,767 --> 01:38:33,171 And these are some of our children. 1272 01:38:35,539 --> 01:38:40,611 I don't know who you people are or where you came from, 1273 01:38:40,678 --> 01:38:43,982 but... God bless you. 1274 01:38:45,249 --> 01:38:47,018 Tonight, 1275 01:38:47,085 --> 01:38:49,653 you've given to these kids... 1276 01:38:49,720 --> 01:38:54,892 and their brothers and sisters all over the world more than money. 1277 01:38:54,959 --> 01:38:58,796 You've given them back their faith, 1278 01:38:58,862 --> 01:39:01,065 their faith in the goodness of people. 1279 01:39:08,639 --> 01:39:14,045 She said, "You are just like the 12 disciples." 1280 01:39:15,679 --> 01:39:17,281 Aw! 1281 01:39:20,684 --> 01:39:23,287 Aw! 1282 01:39:23,354 --> 01:39:25,023 Thank you. 1283 01:40:12,870 --> 01:40:14,805 Forget it. 1284 01:40:14,872 --> 01:40:17,684 Look, all these other disciples can do whatever they want with their share. 1285 01:40:17,708 --> 01:40:19,843 - But this money is going home with us. - What? 1286 01:40:19,910 --> 01:40:23,314 Period. End of story. Put the money in the bag, carrot. 1287 01:40:27,085 --> 01:40:30,821 You don't know me, man. 1288 01:40:30,888 --> 01:40:32,723 Come here. 1289 01:40:35,093 --> 01:40:37,195 It's you. 1290 01:40:38,429 --> 01:40:41,265 I'm so proud of you. 1291 01:40:41,332 --> 01:40:44,435 Giving away all of your money? 1292 01:40:46,604 --> 01:40:50,308 Whoo! Whoo! 1293 01:40:52,676 --> 01:40:55,446 Whoo! 1294 01:40:55,513 --> 01:40:57,415 Come on. 1295 01:40:59,383 --> 01:41:02,820 Duane. No. No. No. 1296 01:41:06,157 --> 01:41:09,360 Mama is watching us from heaven right now. 1297 01:41:11,862 --> 01:41:13,797 And what would she do? 1298 01:41:17,635 --> 01:41:21,439 It's for starving children, Duane. 1299 01:41:23,707 --> 01:41:25,543 Do it for Mom. 1300 01:41:38,722 --> 01:41:41,725 Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! 1301 01:41:47,231 --> 01:41:50,033 Whoo! Yeah! 1302 01:41:50,100 --> 01:41:51,935 Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. 1303 01:41:52,002 --> 01:41:55,173 Um, I'd like to introduce the real star of tonight's show. 1304 01:41:55,239 --> 01:41:59,243 I can honestly say that none of us would be here tonight if it wasn't for this man. 1305 01:41:59,310 --> 01:42:02,813 He is the man with the plan, Mr. Donald Sinclair! 1306 01:42:02,880 --> 01:42:04,615 What? 1307 01:42:04,682 --> 01:42:07,551 One of the wealthiest men in the world! 1308 01:42:09,019 --> 01:42:12,122 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Donald Sinclair! You are the man. 1309 01:42:12,190 --> 01:42:15,092 Put the camera on him. There you go. Nice shot. There he is. 1310 01:42:15,159 --> 01:42:17,261 Hi. Hello. 1311 01:42:17,328 --> 01:42:20,498 These men, they didn't have to be here tonight. 1312 01:42:20,564 --> 01:42:22,933 No, they could be off kicking back in the Riviera... 1313 01:42:23,000 --> 01:42:26,637 or in Vegas blowing their money on some meaningless idiotic bet. 1314 01:42:26,704 --> 01:42:28,306 Ha, ha, ha. 1315 01:42:28,372 --> 01:42:30,441 They couldn't do that, 1316 01:42:30,508 --> 01:42:32,976 not when there were children going to bed hungry every night. 1317 01:42:33,043 --> 01:42:35,813 Isn't that right, fellas? 1318 01:42:35,879 --> 01:42:37,748 Whatever. 1319 01:42:37,815 --> 01:42:40,584 Mr. Donald Sinclair and his partners... 1320 01:42:40,651 --> 01:42:43,787 want you and the millions of people watching at home... 1321 01:42:43,854 --> 01:42:46,924 to know they plan to match whatever you raise tonight... 1322 01:42:46,990 --> 01:42:49,059 dollar for dollar! Aah! 1323 01:42:49,126 --> 01:42:50,728 Dollar for dollar! Dollar for dollar! 1324 01:42:53,297 --> 01:42:55,733 A matching fund, everybody! 1325 01:42:55,799 --> 01:42:58,302 Let's hit the phones out there and crank it up... 1326 01:42:58,369 --> 01:43:01,239 because we're gonna feed the whole world tonight! 1327 01:46:09,427 --> 01:46:11,462 Thank you. Good night! 1328 01:49:42,301 --> 01:49:48,163 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles