1 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,780 Oh! 2 00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:47,086 Ow! 3 00:00:49,626 --> 00:00:52,254 Help! Help! 4 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:53,556 Am I dead? 5 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:56,224 You're not dead. 6 00:00:56,299 --> 00:00:58,665 You've been taken against your will. 7 00:00:58,735 --> 00:01:00,635 Kobe? Who is that? 8 00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:08,276 Dr. Phil? What the hell's going on? 9 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:12,041 I don't know. I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues... 10 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,844 and suddenly, I woke up here. 11 00:01:13,917 --> 00:01:17,011 Man, those kids are gonna be pissed. 12 00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:19,946 Hello, gentlemen. 13 00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:22,583 You don't know me, but I know you. 14 00:01:22,659 --> 00:01:25,890 You both play games with other people for a living... 15 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:28,863 but, today, you play a game for your lives. 16 00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:32,800 Right now, you are both breathing in a deadly nerve gas. 17 00:01:32,869 --> 00:01:35,838 You have 120 seconds to reach the antidote... 18 00:01:35,905 --> 00:01:37,202 or you die. 19 00:01:37,273 --> 00:01:39,298 Oh, my God! We better get out of here! 20 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,468 Let the game begin. 21 00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:44,477 There! 22 00:01:51,287 --> 00:01:54,222 Hit the metal arm with something. 23 00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:55,882 There. 24 00:02:05,068 --> 00:02:08,128 Damn it! 25 00:02:09,072 --> 00:02:10,733 Sorry. 26 00:02:10,807 --> 00:02:14,140 Shaquille, I'm not angry at you... 27 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:17,043 but we are one minute away from death. 28 00:02:17,113 --> 00:02:19,513 Just shut out the "No" voice. 29 00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:22,016 Own your success. 30 00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:26,849 Oh! 31 00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:31,590 Just make the damn basket! 32 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:35,991 What the hell was that for? 33 00:02:36,065 --> 00:02:37,760 You hurt my feelings. 34 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:40,894 Your feelings? To hell with your feelings! 35 00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:43,097 Everybody with their feelings! 36 00:02:43,173 --> 00:02:46,199 "I'm obese." "My kid's a brat."Help me. Help me." 37 00:02:46,276 --> 00:02:47,538 Just shut up! 38 00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:49,601 Why can't I fix anyone? 39 00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:54,139 I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right! Mama was right! 40 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,914 Hey, hey! Pull yourself together. You're a brilliant doctor. 41 00:02:57,987 --> 00:03:00,012 Not exactly. 42 00:03:00,089 --> 00:03:04,219 - What? - I-I just tell people to "get real." 43 00:03:04,294 --> 00:03:06,728 I'm not even a psychologist. 44 00:03:06,796 --> 00:03:08,525 I'm... an electrician. 45 00:03:09,699 --> 00:03:13,032 I failed you, Shaq. I failed you. 46 00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:22,902 - Booyah! - Yes! 47 00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:27,874 30 seconds left! 48 00:03:30,687 --> 00:03:33,155 This will never work. 49 00:03:33,223 --> 00:03:36,283 Of course- he wants us to cut through our feet. 50 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,394 You go first. 51 00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:41,760 Bullshit. 52 00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:43,765 Yeah. 53 00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,824 You're probably not man enough. 54 00:03:45,902 --> 00:03:47,597 I guess your mama was right. 55 00:03:49,839 --> 00:03:51,397 Never! 56 00:03:51,474 --> 00:03:54,807 Who's the coward now, Mama? 57 00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:56,811 Candy from a baby. 58 00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:04,008 - Oh, my God! - I did it. We're saved. 59 00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:06,647 - What's wrong? - Wrong foot. 60 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,454 Motherfu- 61 00:04:25,008 --> 00:04:26,771 No one believed 62 00:04:26,843 --> 00:04:29,573 in the early years of the 21st century 63 00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:31,671 that our world was being watched... 64 00:04:31,748 --> 00:04:35,650 the way a man with a microscope might scrutinize the creatures 65 00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:37,481 in a drop of water. 66 00:04:58,141 --> 00:05:01,133 Yet across the gulf of space 67 00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:04,771 a terrible evil prepared to unleash itself 68 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:08,749 upon an unsuspecting human race. 69 00:05:21,164 --> 00:05:24,099 You're up early. Come back to bed. 70 00:05:25,401 --> 00:05:27,767 Come on. 71 00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:31,100 Please. 72 00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:54,586 Hello? Hello? 73 00:05:56,499 --> 00:05:58,399 Tom! Oh! 74 00:06:00,303 --> 00:06:04,137 I know you missed me. Oh, I missed you too. God, you look great. 75 00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:06,698 I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me. 76 00:06:06,776 --> 00:06:10,303 This isn't a good time. 77 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,940 I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house. 78 00:06:13,015 --> 00:06:14,983 He just turned 11. 79 00:06:15,051 --> 00:06:16,780 I enrolled him in military school last year. 80 00:06:16,853 --> 00:06:19,117 It's supposed to be a great program. 81 00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:22,248 Boy, kids, you know, they just grow up so fast. 82 00:06:22,325 --> 00:06:24,793 So I heard that you were dating again. 83 00:06:24,861 --> 00:06:27,091 Knowing you, I bet she's brainy. 84 00:06:27,163 --> 00:06:28,653 "Quixotic." 85 00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:30,358 90 points! 86 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:47,074 Oh, you know, your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom. 87 00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:50,779 I mean, they have so much to teach us... 88 00:06:50,853 --> 00:06:52,980 and we have so much to teach them. 89 00:06:53,055 --> 00:06:55,990 You know, ultimately, they... really are just like us... 90 00:06:56,058 --> 00:06:58,618 only... older. 91 00:06:58,694 --> 00:07:02,186 Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career will help 92 00:07:02,265 --> 00:07:05,792 keep my mind off of... bad memories. 93 00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:10,032 I'm sure you have memories, too. He's the kind of person you never forget. 94 00:07:10,106 --> 00:07:12,131 Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night 95 00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:14,938 wondering where he is, and then I remember. 96 00:07:15,011 --> 00:07:19,471 I know you miss him, too, but it's really been hardest on me. 97 00:07:19,549 --> 00:07:21,517 I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions... 98 00:07:21,584 --> 00:07:25,247 they just well up inside of you and burst out. 99 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:28,051 The harder you try, the harder it all gets... 100 00:07:28,124 --> 00:07:30,422 till you just can't shake it off anymore. 101 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,482 Oh! 102 00:07:31,561 --> 00:07:34,553 Like you're carrying around this enormous burden. 103 00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,655 Sometimes your problems get so big. 104 00:07:39,569 --> 00:07:42,037 - And then what do you say to yourself? - Jesus! 105 00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:45,505 Yes, you can turn to religion or family and friends... 106 00:07:45,575 --> 00:07:48,169 but in the end, you're still in agony. 107 00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:50,735 Maybe that's why I want to become a nurse. 108 00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:54,715 I'm just- I'm so in tune with everyone's emotions. 109 00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:57,514 I guess I've always had a knack for being- 110 00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:01,185 Oh, my- 111 00:08:26,616 --> 00:08:29,915 Ryan, go home. You've been working 16 straight hours. 112 00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:32,250 Come on, I need the overtime. 113 00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:34,221 Don't worry. Okay? 114 00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:36,758 I'm wide- 115 00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:43,298 Ryan! What are you doing? 116 00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,167 That was gold bullion- 117 00:08:49,305 --> 00:08:51,296 No, not the monkeys! 118 00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:59,080 They're loose! 119 00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,684 Damn it, Tom! What the hell happened back there? 120 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,848 Aw, come on, Ed. That could've happened to anyone. 121 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:10,518 Oh, yeah? You know what your problem is? 122 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:13,653 As soon as the going gets tough, you give up. 123 00:09:13,729 --> 00:09:16,095 You're right. I quit. 124 00:09:16,165 --> 00:09:17,826 Ah, you don't get it, do you? 125 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,869 You could be the best, if only you'd see things through. 126 00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:23,428 - I don't know. - Give me a break. 127 00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:26,634 What can I tell you, Ed? I guess I'm no good. 128 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:28,438 Maybe I just don't have what it takes. 129 00:09:28,511 --> 00:09:32,413 What are you talking about? You secured that tricky H-500 unit, didn't you? 130 00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:34,278 Aw, come on. That was easy. 131 00:09:42,592 --> 00:09:44,992 Tom Ryan. I haven't seen you in a while. 132 00:09:45,061 --> 00:09:49,259 Well, I spend every waking minute of my life operating a crane. 133 00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:51,323 God, I hate my job. 134 00:09:56,038 --> 00:09:58,097 Yo, Tom! Where you been? 135 00:09:58,174 --> 00:09:59,664 Mahalik. 136 00:09:59,742 --> 00:10:01,573 Yo, C.J., this is my boy Tom Ryan. 137 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,805 We used to work together down at the docks. 138 00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,039 Ya-hi! Ya-hi! Ya-hi! 139 00:10:05,114 --> 00:10:07,776 - Hey, Tom. How's the family, man? - You remember Marilyn? 140 00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:10,375 - Your lovely wife- how could I forget? - She dumped me. 141 00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:13,388 Yeah, I know. I slept with her a few times. 142 00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:14,889 - What? - Me too. 143 00:10:14,957 --> 00:10:17,983 You guys talking about Marilyn? Great lay. 144 00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:20,324 My pops introduced me to her. 145 00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:22,421 Ever since the divorce, it's like my life has no purpose. 146 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:24,295 Half the time I walk around feeling like a zombie. 147 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:26,733 Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there- that's real. 148 00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:29,236 Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street? 149 00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:30,294 Yeah. 150 00:10:30,373 --> 00:10:33,137 She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. 151 00:10:33,209 --> 00:10:35,040 The next morning, she turned up missing. 152 00:10:35,111 --> 00:10:37,238 - Uh- - What? Okay, back up. 153 00:10:37,313 --> 00:10:39,247 How in the hell do you "turn up missing"? 154 00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:42,011 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there! 155 00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:43,346 Guys, I'm trying to ask- 156 00:10:43,419 --> 00:10:46,513 So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time. 157 00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:49,114 No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. 158 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,216 - The bitch ain't David Copperfield! - Uh, guys- 159 00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:52,692 Mmm. No, no. 160 00:10:52,762 --> 00:10:55,196 But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. 161 00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:57,255 So when you turn up, you're never missing. 162 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,699 And when you're missing, you never turn up. 163 00:10:59,769 --> 00:11:02,397 Unless... you a zombie. 164 00:11:02,471 --> 00:11:03,904 Damn! 165 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:06,908 Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that. 166 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:09,877 - I'm gonna put that on MySpace. - You do that! 167 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:11,606 Hey, Tom. 168 00:11:11,681 --> 00:11:14,707 You know what you need to do, man? You need to get away from all this. 169 00:11:14,784 --> 00:11:17,685 - You need to take a break. - Oh, I don't know. 170 00:11:17,753 --> 00:11:21,245 No, no. He's right, man. You should come fishing with us one weekend. 171 00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:24,292 Me and Mahalik, we found this great spot last summer. 172 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,692 Yeah. A great spot. 173 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,301 Hey. You cold? 174 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,270 - L-Little bit. - Hmm. 175 00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:50,448 Hey. Look, man, um- 176 00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:52,384 I'm not on the down-low or nothing, all right? 177 00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:55,891 Oh, that's cool, man. Me, neither. 178 00:11:59,195 --> 00:12:01,459 - Hey, what you doing? - Relax, man. 179 00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:03,964 I'm just trying to grab some nuts. 180 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,764 C.J., what are you doin'? 181 00:12:13,843 --> 00:12:16,471 - I just wanna eat some peanuts. - Huh? 182 00:12:16,545 --> 00:12:19,878 See? Peanuts. 183 00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:19,401 Ooh, baby. 184 00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,248 Yeah... we caught a lot of fish. 185 00:13:35,324 --> 00:13:36,814 Yeah. 186 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,325 Black cod. 187 00:13:40,396 --> 00:13:42,489 Damn. 188 00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:45,466 Tom, you don't- I don't want you thinking that- 189 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,365 Hopefully, this doesn't affect your opin- 190 00:13:47,436 --> 00:13:49,734 Why would you do that, and that's my first time meeting him? 191 00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:04,282 Late again, Tom. 192 00:14:04,353 --> 00:14:07,550 - Hey, Marilyn. - I thought you were moving. 193 00:14:07,623 --> 00:14:11,525 It's all I can afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name. 194 00:14:11,594 --> 00:14:13,858 No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. 195 00:14:13,929 --> 00:14:16,227 You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties." 196 00:14:17,466 --> 00:14:20,367 I'm sure your new husband is pleased. 197 00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:23,098 He's a good man. A provider, unlike you. 198 00:14:23,172 --> 00:14:25,003 You never cared about our children. 199 00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:27,565 Hey, that's not true. I'm a great dad. 200 00:14:27,643 --> 00:14:30,111 Kids! 201 00:14:30,179 --> 00:14:31,203 Dad? 202 00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,218 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, Rachel. 203 00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:42,052 How's it going there, uh... Princess? 204 00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:44,923 It's locked. 205 00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:49,687 Hey! Let me help you with that, muffin. 206 00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,255 - I should do that. - It's no problem. 207 00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,324 - I honestly don't mind. - Neither do I. 208 00:14:53,402 --> 00:14:55,267 Fine. You take it. 209 00:14:55,337 --> 00:14:57,737 I'll see you on Tuesday. 210 00:14:57,806 --> 00:14:59,137 Hey, Marilyn. 211 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,439 That's a good look for you, being pregnant. 212 00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:06,110 I'm not pregnant! 213 00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:09,173 I didn't meant to- I'm sorry. 214 00:15:09,251 --> 00:15:12,118 If you want to make things right, maybe you should start with our kids. 215 00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:15,122 You're right. Those kids are all I have in this world. 216 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:17,852 Well, the kids... and my car. 217 00:15:17,927 --> 00:15:20,589 Ow! 218 00:15:23,232 --> 00:15:27,259 Mr. Koji, looks like we need someone new for the Norris account. 219 00:15:27,336 --> 00:15:28,826 Again? 220 00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:31,964 Every day we don't have someone looking after this woman, I lose big money. 221 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:35,499 - What happened to last girl? - Yoko. Take a look. 222 00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:38,011 Holy shit! 223 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,674 Someone put a towel under her or something. Christ! 224 00:15:40,749 --> 00:15:44,651 It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji. They say it's cursed. 225 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,711 There no such thing as a curse. 226 00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,450 Don't be ridiculous. 227 00:15:48,524 --> 00:15:50,890 Those just old wives' tales. 228 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,623 I need someone there today or I'm in big trouble. 229 00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,624 Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell. 230 00:15:59,702 --> 00:16:01,966 I'm looking for a job in home health care. 231 00:16:03,405 --> 00:16:05,896 I was recommended by a family friend, but unfortunately, he committed- 232 00:16:05,975 --> 00:16:08,739 Oh, my God! 233 00:16:08,811 --> 00:16:10,870 Don't mind her. She slip and fall. 234 00:16:10,946 --> 00:16:14,245 You my new best employee. Ready start today? 235 00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:16,250 Oh, it's so fast. I don't know. 236 00:16:16,318 --> 00:16:18,582 Oh, trust me. Uh, you're gonna love this job. 237 00:16:18,654 --> 00:16:21,088 Come on, I show you. We can be there 10 minutes. 238 00:16:33,335 --> 00:16:35,269 Come! Come! 239 00:16:45,914 --> 00:16:48,610 Mr. Koji? 240 00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:53,717 Hello? 241 00:17:03,766 --> 00:17:06,064 Oh, my God! Oh! 242 00:17:06,135 --> 00:17:07,466 Okay, oh. 243 00:17:07,536 --> 00:17:09,902 - Oh, let's get you up and- - Oh! 244 00:17:09,972 --> 00:17:12,566 Okay, come on. Here we go. 245 00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:15,269 - Oh, I'm sorry. - There you are. 246 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:17,141 I see you've met Mrs. Norris- she catatonic. 247 00:17:17,212 --> 00:17:19,680 Yes, I was just trying to get her back up on the bed. 248 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,807 I was afraid that she would be hurt. 249 00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:24,079 You know, when I came in, I just saw her lying here on the floor. 250 00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:26,883 Of course, of course. I help. You grab her legs, I grab her arms. 251 00:17:26,955 --> 00:17:29,253 Mrs. Norris, I'm here to take care of you. 252 00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:33,153 Yes, I'm very happy to meet you, too. 253 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:38,231 See? This job perfect for you. Let me show you rest of house. 254 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,393 Right this way. 255 00:17:40,469 --> 00:17:42,437 So, what do you think? 256 00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:48,409 I don't know. There's something strange about this house. 257 00:17:48,477 --> 00:17:51,241 - A presence. - A presence? Don't be silly. 258 00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:53,076 - Nothing wrong with this house. - It's funny. 259 00:17:53,148 --> 00:17:56,584 I always dreamt I would live in a house like this with my husband... 260 00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:59,780 but I guess that's all just in the... 261 00:18:01,056 --> 00:18:02,114 past. 262 00:18:02,191 --> 00:18:04,284 Who wants to see upstairs? 263 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,625 It's a nice neighborhood close to schools and shopping. 264 00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:12,133 There are hardwood floors throughout. Passed almost every inspection. 265 00:18:12,201 --> 00:18:15,762 Big backyard goes back 100 feet. 266 00:18:21,343 --> 00:18:23,311 And in here is the bathroom. 267 00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:25,005 Very big, very... 268 00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:28,843 nice. 269 00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:30,475 It is nice. 270 00:18:30,552 --> 00:18:32,782 It seems like it'd be a great place to work... 271 00:18:32,855 --> 00:18:35,653 but I just can't shake this feeling of... evil. 272 00:18:35,724 --> 00:18:37,692 Evil? That crazy talk. 273 00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:44,991 Do you know anything about the people who used to live here? 274 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,696 People? No, nothing about people. I don't remember anything. 275 00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:52,206 Mr. Koji, did something strange happen in this house? 276 00:18:52,274 --> 00:18:53,866 Strange? Don't be silly. 277 00:18:53,942 --> 00:18:55,842 This house perfectly normal. 278 00:18:55,911 --> 00:18:59,677 I'm sure you're right, and yet... it's as if someone's watching us. 279 00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:04,709 Mr. Koji? 280 00:19:04,786 --> 00:19:08,153 That was me... just excited about hiring you. 281 00:19:08,223 --> 00:19:11,158 Very, very enthusiastic! 282 00:19:11,226 --> 00:19:16,926 We offer medical and dental and two weeks' paid vacation! 283 00:19:16,999 --> 00:19:20,526 I'm hoping... you can start today! 284 00:19:20,602 --> 00:19:22,661 Maybe get in a whole week! 285 00:19:22,738 --> 00:19:24,433 You put in for this job... 286 00:19:24,506 --> 00:19:26,701 we got wonderful opportunities for you. 287 00:19:26,775 --> 00:19:30,233 Mr. Koji, is there something you're not telling me about this? 288 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,880 I was... dirty. 289 00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:44,023 So... the job? 290 00:19:44,092 --> 00:19:45,719 I'll take it. 291 00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:53,799 Get your glove! I'm in the backyard! 292 00:19:53,869 --> 00:19:56,804 Robbie, come on. Let's go! 293 00:19:56,872 --> 00:19:59,705 That's not how you're going to get through to him. 294 00:19:59,775 --> 00:20:01,970 Look, Rach, this is guy stuff. 295 00:20:02,044 --> 00:20:05,241 You got to trust me. 296 00:20:05,314 --> 00:20:08,249 All right, Robbie, you ready for the Tom Ryan Express? 297 00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:22,096 Yeah, maybe, one day, I can grow up to be just like you. 298 00:20:22,164 --> 00:20:25,224 All right, I know I let you kids down... 299 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,996 but you have no idea how hard it is to be a father. 300 00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:31,665 Well, when you start, let me know. 301 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:42,778 You okay? 302 00:20:42,851 --> 00:20:44,443 My eyes! My eyes! 303 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:52,254 Oh, much... better. 304 00:20:53,362 --> 00:20:55,455 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, that's okay. 305 00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:57,657 I've taken balls to the face before. 306 00:20:57,733 --> 00:21:00,531 Hi. I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbor. 307 00:21:00,602 --> 00:21:02,570 Tom, Tom Ryan. 308 00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:05,106 You, uh, live here all by yourself? 309 00:21:05,173 --> 00:21:07,164 Well, I'm-I'm taking care of Mrs. Norris... 310 00:21:07,242 --> 00:21:10,973 but... yes, for the first time in my life, I'm on my own. 311 00:21:11,046 --> 00:21:12,479 I know that feeling. 312 00:21:13,548 --> 00:21:16,847 - It wasn't always that way. - I know. 313 00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:19,045 You thought you'd found your soul mate. 314 00:21:19,121 --> 00:21:21,055 Yes. 315 00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:23,114 And then one day you come home... 316 00:21:23,191 --> 00:21:26,490 and find your so-called soul mate in bed with a complete stranger. 317 00:21:26,561 --> 00:21:29,826 Well, not a complete stranger- Sammy Sosa. 318 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:33,160 Sound familiar? 319 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:36,362 No, not at all. 320 00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:39,606 But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain... 321 00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:42,508 and the worst part is you have to suffer through it- 322 00:21:42,577 --> 00:21:44,977 - Alone? - It looks like we have a lot in- 323 00:21:45,047 --> 00:21:47,515 Common. 324 00:21:47,582 --> 00:21:50,278 - We're already finishing each other's- - Dinner. 325 00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:53,781 Sentences. 326 00:21:54,956 --> 00:21:58,983 Well... maybe all we really need is a friend. 327 00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:01,621 I'd like that. 328 00:22:01,697 --> 00:22:03,961 Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris. 329 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,500 It's time to put her catheter in, and then after that... 330 00:22:06,568 --> 00:22:08,559 I've got to scrub in between her fat folds... 331 00:22:08,637 --> 00:22:10,764 and I've got to lance her boils. 332 00:22:10,839 --> 00:22:12,602 I've got to open her up and then- 333 00:22:43,338 --> 00:22:45,602 empty the colostomy bag and... 334 00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:47,869 Mop up the drool. 335 00:22:47,943 --> 00:22:49,808 That's wonderful. 336 00:22:49,878 --> 00:22:52,540 - I'll see you around? - Definitely. 337 00:22:52,614 --> 00:22:54,707 Okay. 338 00:22:56,284 --> 00:22:58,775 Okay, Mrs. Norris, time to dig out that doody bubble. 339 00:24:03,852 --> 00:24:06,946 Whoa... Oh! Ow! 340 00:24:22,871 --> 00:24:24,896 Mrs. Norris? 341 00:24:24,973 --> 00:24:27,533 Have you noticed anything strange about this house? 342 00:24:27,609 --> 00:24:30,544 - Yes! Yes! - No? 343 00:24:30,612 --> 00:24:31,579 Yes! 344 00:24:31,646 --> 00:24:34,444 Oh, you're probably right. Guess I'm just being silly. 345 00:24:36,651 --> 00:24:38,482 Just relax now. 346 00:24:38,553 --> 00:24:41,283 Here we go. Okay. 347 00:24:41,356 --> 00:24:44,587 Oh, you poor thing. You don't have to be scared. 348 00:24:44,659 --> 00:24:47,753 I'm here to take care of you. 349 00:24:47,829 --> 00:24:51,196 You know, I think you and I are going to be wonderful friends. 350 00:24:51,266 --> 00:24:55,066 I do. That's right. Just relax. 351 00:24:55,136 --> 00:24:57,536 Let's get in those ears. 352 00:24:57,606 --> 00:25:00,473 Okay. All right. 353 00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:04,171 That's right. Oh, it feels good. 354 00:25:06,348 --> 00:25:08,816 Okay. 355 00:25:08,884 --> 00:25:11,375 You love this, don't you? 356 00:25:11,453 --> 00:25:14,752 It's nice and warm. Feels good, doesn't it? 357 00:25:15,323 --> 00:25:17,985 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 358 00:25:18,059 --> 00:25:20,425 I'm so sorry! 359 00:26:39,507 --> 00:26:42,408 Robbie! 360 00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:44,411 Come on! 361 00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:46,743 Let's toss the old pigskin! 362 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:55,547 Ooh. 363 00:26:55,624 --> 00:26:58,525 I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you all right? 364 00:26:58,593 --> 00:27:01,187 It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow. 365 00:27:01,262 --> 00:27:04,857 Thank God. I lost my temper. My son's- 366 00:27:04,933 --> 00:27:07,197 What's wrong? You look scared. 367 00:27:07,268 --> 00:27:09,133 Oh, nothing. It's just- 368 00:27:09,204 --> 00:27:11,638 There's something going on in this house. 369 00:27:11,706 --> 00:27:13,970 Last night, I saw a face. 370 00:27:14,042 --> 00:27:16,704 - Did it have a nose? - Yes. 371 00:27:16,778 --> 00:27:18,541 That does sound like a face. 372 00:27:18,613 --> 00:27:22,071 And then there was this weird hand in the shower... 373 00:27:22,150 --> 00:27:24,414 and this horrible thing on the stairs. 374 00:27:24,486 --> 00:27:26,818 I can't go through this all again. 375 00:27:26,888 --> 00:27:29,880 Oh, I get it. There's some other guy. 376 00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:33,121 You still love him, don't you? I wish you both the best. 377 00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:36,220 Wait! You don't understand. 378 00:27:36,297 --> 00:27:40,165 It's painful to talk about, but you deserve to know. 379 00:27:42,037 --> 00:27:44,437 I was married once. 380 00:27:44,506 --> 00:27:48,738 - Get out the way, bitch! - Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit! 381 00:27:48,810 --> 00:27:50,675 Shut your ass up, snow ho! 382 00:27:53,148 --> 00:27:56,811 Well... actually, married twice. 383 00:27:58,586 --> 00:28:00,645 My husband and I were living our dream. 384 00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:04,385 Ladies and gentlemen, your challenger, Cindy Campbell. 385 00:28:06,394 --> 00:28:09,659 Stay loose, Cindy. Remember your training. Keep your focus. 386 00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:14,802 Always think, where's the next punch coming- 387 00:28:14,869 --> 00:28:17,497 After 20 fights, I was undefeated. 388 00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:19,699 Only one fighter stood between me and the belt. 389 00:28:19,774 --> 00:28:21,765 You got this chick. She's nothing. 390 00:28:21,843 --> 00:28:23,572 Tiffany Stone! 391 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,683 Cindy, listen to me. 392 00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:33,448 I know you're scared, but I believe in you. You can win this. 393 00:28:33,521 --> 00:28:36,820 And if I do win, George, then will you tell me what my nickname means? 394 00:28:36,891 --> 00:28:38,825 Yes. I promise. 395 00:28:38,893 --> 00:28:41,623 Okay. Now just stick with the jab and lead with your right. 396 00:28:41,696 --> 00:28:43,721 Watch your footwork. 397 00:28:43,798 --> 00:28:46,323 Let's go! 398 00:28:54,809 --> 00:28:58,506 Whoa, whoa! You do that one more time, I'm taking a point off, you hear me? 399 00:29:01,082 --> 00:29:03,983 I got it, I got it! Dude, check it out! 400 00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,988 I can't take it anymore! 401 00:29:24,272 --> 00:29:26,365 And that's when I lost my cool 402 00:29:26,441 --> 00:29:28,739 and made the biggest mistake of my life. 403 00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:30,744 Cindy, no! 404 00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:33,447 Ooh, a nickel! 405 00:29:40,021 --> 00:29:43,013 No! 406 00:30:23,198 --> 00:30:25,598 Get out of the way! 407 00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:27,965 George! 408 00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:31,631 No! 409 00:30:31,706 --> 00:30:35,039 If I hadn't have thrown that punch, none of it would've happened. 410 00:30:35,109 --> 00:30:37,907 - I blame myself for it all. - As well you should. 411 00:30:37,979 --> 00:30:41,915 But, Cindy, the past is the past. 412 00:30:41,983 --> 00:30:44,645 Maybe you ought to think about your future. 413 00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:46,710 If I'm ever going to love again... 414 00:30:46,788 --> 00:30:49,222 it has to be with somebody who'll be there for me. 415 00:30:49,290 --> 00:30:52,623 Well, I don't have a great track record in that department. Just ask my son. 416 00:30:52,694 --> 00:30:55,390 I have. What's an "cock monger"? 417 00:30:56,865 --> 00:30:58,958 Uh... that's not really important. 418 00:30:59,033 --> 00:31:01,558 What matters is I've let a lot of people down. 419 00:31:01,636 --> 00:31:04,036 Oh. 420 00:31:04,105 --> 00:31:07,268 - I should go. - Wait! 421 00:31:08,843 --> 00:31:11,869 Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy... 422 00:31:13,648 --> 00:31:17,209 but something about you makes me want to try. 423 00:31:35,737 --> 00:31:37,932 - What's happening? - I don't know! 424 00:31:40,842 --> 00:31:43,333 Why is the sky so dark? 425 00:31:43,411 --> 00:31:45,504 Why is the wind moving towards the storm? 426 00:31:47,315 --> 00:31:49,783 Why don't any of us have driers? 427 00:31:49,851 --> 00:31:53,309 I've never seen clouds like that before! 428 00:32:02,130 --> 00:32:04,064 - You okay? - Yeah. 429 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:06,066 - Can you believe that thunder? - No. 430 00:32:06,134 --> 00:32:09,103 That storm is so fierce. I've never seen anything like it. 431 00:32:09,170 --> 00:32:11,900 - I haven't either. - Imagine being out there. 432 00:32:11,973 --> 00:32:15,340 That last one sounded really close. 433 00:32:15,410 --> 00:32:18,538 Don't worry- lightning never strikes in the same place twice. 434 00:32:20,515 --> 00:32:23,313 - Where's Rachel? - I thought she was with you. 435 00:32:27,522 --> 00:32:29,422 Oh, there you are. 436 00:32:37,932 --> 00:32:40,196 Okay. That's it. We're fine. 437 00:32:40,268 --> 00:32:42,793 That last bolt of lightning smelled like a- 438 00:32:42,870 --> 00:32:45,031 Giant turd. 439 00:32:45,106 --> 00:32:49,099 Yes, the... lightning. 440 00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:51,668 I'll go look for Robbie. 441 00:32:55,516 --> 00:32:57,609 Turn it again, see if it'll start. 442 00:32:57,685 --> 00:33:00,813 I don't know what's going on. The car's not working, it's just not working. 443 00:33:00,888 --> 00:33:03,880 Start! 444 00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:06,290 Go! 445 00:33:07,929 --> 00:33:11,365 My bowels have stopped moving! Why? 446 00:33:11,432 --> 00:33:14,526 - How's it going, Marvin? - I just had this car working; now it's dead. 447 00:33:14,602 --> 00:33:17,196 - Try changing the solenoid. - Good idea. 448 00:33:17,271 --> 00:33:19,535 Death to America! 449 00:33:21,342 --> 00:33:23,708 Aw, shit! 450 00:33:44,198 --> 00:33:45,688 Run! 451 00:34:35,316 --> 00:34:38,342 Beautiful outfit! 452 00:34:38,419 --> 00:34:40,410 Thanks. 453 00:34:41,556 --> 00:34:44,457 - Where's your ride, G? - Move it, dawg! 454 00:35:00,575 --> 00:35:03,339 Hello? 455 00:35:04,545 --> 00:35:06,479 "Haro"? 456 00:35:07,748 --> 00:35:09,739 Hibachi. Benihana. Teriyaki. 457 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:13,014 Nagasaki. Okinawa. Hokkaido. Yokohama. 458 00:35:13,087 --> 00:35:17,023 Karate. Judo. Sumo. Samurai. 459 00:35:17,091 --> 00:35:21,027 Nissan. Honda. Mitsubishi. Subaru. 460 00:35:21,095 --> 00:35:24,929 Hara-kiri. Tsunami. Kamikaze. Banzai. 461 00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:29,129 Yamaha. Nikon. Casio. Aiwa. 462 00:35:30,505 --> 00:35:34,373 Minolta. Hitachi. Seiko. Toshiba. 463 00:35:34,442 --> 00:35:36,933 Buddha! Shitake kimono! 464 00:35:37,011 --> 00:35:41,880 Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 465 00:35:41,949 --> 00:35:43,678 Fujitsu! 466 00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,824 I can't read that. 467 00:35:52,894 --> 00:35:55,454 That's better. 468 00:36:00,401 --> 00:36:02,301 Let's go, honey! Let's go! Let's go! 469 00:36:03,704 --> 00:36:05,296 Robbie, Dad's home! 470 00:36:09,243 --> 00:36:11,575 What is it? What's going on? 471 00:36:11,646 --> 00:36:13,876 Death. 472 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,586 - Dad, talk to me. What's happening? - There's no time to explain. 473 00:36:28,663 --> 00:36:30,392 Alien attack! 474 00:36:30,464 --> 00:36:33,331 Well, actually, that about sums it up. 475 00:36:33,401 --> 00:36:35,835 Fill this up with food. We're leaving this house in 60 seconds. 476 00:36:37,672 --> 00:36:41,574 My ass! 477 00:36:44,145 --> 00:36:46,010 Penis. 478 00:36:46,847 --> 00:36:48,041 We gotta go. 479 00:36:53,287 --> 00:36:55,448 - Cindy! - Tom! 480 00:36:55,523 --> 00:36:57,423 - Run for it! - Where are you going? 481 00:36:57,491 --> 00:37:01,393 Someone's out there, somebody who knows a way to stop all of this. 482 00:37:01,462 --> 00:37:03,555 - Oh, you wouldn't understand. - I understand. 483 00:37:03,631 --> 00:37:07,123 - Come with me. - Oh, I'd like to, but my kids. 484 00:37:07,201 --> 00:37:10,102 I... guess this is good-bye. 485 00:37:10,171 --> 00:37:13,663 When this is all over, promise me that you'll find me, that you'll never forget me... 486 00:37:13,741 --> 00:37:16,642 that you won't give up until I'm back in your arms. 487 00:37:16,711 --> 00:37:19,043 - Alive? - Yes. 488 00:37:19,113 --> 00:37:20,876 I promise. 489 00:37:24,452 --> 00:37:26,079 Good-bye, Cindy. 490 00:37:31,125 --> 00:37:32,820 Hey, wait! 491 00:37:32,893 --> 00:37:36,624 A solenoid... for luck. 492 00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:49,799 Marvin! You put a solenoid in? 493 00:37:49,877 --> 00:37:52,209 Yeah, I got one from that crackhead over there. 494 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:53,941 - Get in. - Why should we? 495 00:37:54,015 --> 00:37:57,849 Because you're my responsibility now, and like it or not, I'm all you've got. 496 00:37:58,419 --> 00:38:00,887 Ow! 497 00:38:01,889 --> 00:38:04,153 - Hey. Hey! - Thank God. 498 00:38:04,225 --> 00:38:06,352 Hey! What are you doing? 499 00:38:06,427 --> 00:38:09,362 - Get in the car, Marvin. - Come on, Tom, stop joking around. 500 00:38:09,430 --> 00:38:11,955 Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die. 501 00:38:12,033 --> 00:38:14,433 Okay, fine. 502 00:38:17,338 --> 00:38:20,205 - No, wait for me to- - Still locked. 503 00:38:20,274 --> 00:38:22,868 - Why are you reaching at the same time? - What do you mean? 504 00:38:22,943 --> 00:38:24,740 - All right, on three. - You counting now? 505 00:38:24,812 --> 00:38:26,837 One, two, three, open the door! 506 00:38:26,914 --> 00:38:29,246 - Okay, on three. - One, two- 507 00:38:29,317 --> 00:38:31,012 Three. 508 00:38:31,085 --> 00:38:33,383 - Don't do that. You're trying to annoy me. - It's still locked. 509 00:38:33,454 --> 00:38:35,445 I'm going on three. One, two- 510 00:38:35,523 --> 00:38:37,115 Don't count when I count. I have a problem with that. 511 00:38:37,191 --> 00:38:38,988 - What's the matter with you? - Turn your mouth sideways. 512 00:38:39,060 --> 00:38:41,255 - If you look at me I lose count. - What are you crazy? 513 00:38:41,329 --> 00:38:43,661 - One, two, three! - Two, three! 514 00:38:43,731 --> 00:38:46,063 - Don't do it the same time. - You said "three." 515 00:38:46,133 --> 00:38:47,657 - You go on "four." Can you count? - Four. 516 00:38:47,735 --> 00:38:50,169 - So on your "three" or my "four"? - There's only one "three." 517 00:38:50,237 --> 00:38:52,535 - I'm tryin' to get in the car. - Then you do it on "four." 518 00:38:52,606 --> 00:38:55,302 You said, "three." So are you doin' it on "three" or am I doin' it on "two"? 519 00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:57,207 - For Christ's sake! - I heard "three." 520 00:38:57,278 --> 00:38:58,836 If the count is "three," you do it on "four." 521 00:38:58,913 --> 00:39:00,505 - Now it's "four." - Why would you go on "four"? 522 00:39:00,581 --> 00:39:02,446 You gave me "four" first and you stole my "four." 523 00:39:02,516 --> 00:39:04,177 - But I have to count to "three" first. - You stole my "four." 524 00:39:04,251 --> 00:39:06,651 - Just let me say "three." - I've got wait on you now, huh? 525 00:39:06,721 --> 00:39:08,279 - You want the black man to wait again? - Do whatever you want. 526 00:39:08,356 --> 00:39:11,291 - That's what I've been doin'. - Why would you do that? 527 00:39:11,359 --> 00:39:13,884 Why would you reach for it when I say "three"? That's what this is about. 528 00:39:13,961 --> 00:39:15,428 Do I still go on "four"? 529 00:39:15,496 --> 00:39:17,691 When I say "three," don't worry about "four." 530 00:39:17,765 --> 00:39:19,198 You got all the time in the world! 531 00:39:19,266 --> 00:39:23,362 You can go home, watch television and come back and then open the door! 532 00:39:23,437 --> 00:39:24,631 - Fine. - One- 533 00:39:24,705 --> 00:39:27,265 No. No "one." I'm out. No thank you. 534 00:39:27,341 --> 00:39:30,902 I'll take the next one. Does that work for you? 535 00:39:30,978 --> 00:39:33,208 - Jesus. - Attitude. 536 00:39:35,316 --> 00:39:37,079 Seriously, I'd rather be dead. 537 00:39:39,153 --> 00:39:41,280 GIRL "A girl had a pet duck. 538 00:39:41,355 --> 00:39:43,550 "She fed and took care of her pet duck. 539 00:39:43,624 --> 00:39:48,288 "But one day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl. 540 00:39:48,362 --> 00:39:50,922 "The duck ran down the road and kept running... 541 00:39:50,998 --> 00:39:52,659 until he found a pond." 542 00:39:52,733 --> 00:39:56,362 Mr. President, we've just received word... 543 00:39:56,437 --> 00:39:58,735 the planet is under attack by aliens. 544 00:39:58,806 --> 00:40:00,398 Oh. Okay. 545 00:40:00,474 --> 00:40:02,237 "The duck went back"- 546 00:40:02,309 --> 00:40:05,210 Sir? They've already wiped out some of our cities. 547 00:40:05,279 --> 00:40:07,679 If nothing is done, they'll kill us all. 548 00:40:07,748 --> 00:40:09,943 I see. Well, I'll handle that in a minute. 549 00:40:10,017 --> 00:40:13,612 But right now, I need to find out what's happening with the duck. 550 00:40:13,687 --> 00:40:17,418 Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die. 551 00:40:17,491 --> 00:40:19,925 The people are gonna die regardless... 552 00:40:19,994 --> 00:40:22,588 but this duck still has a fighting chance. 553 00:40:22,663 --> 00:40:27,327 I've read the story before, Mr. President. 554 00:40:27,401 --> 00:40:29,426 The duck dies. 555 00:40:30,938 --> 00:40:33,429 My God! That's horrible. 556 00:40:33,507 --> 00:40:36,533 Mr. President, the aliens? We're under attack. 557 00:40:36,610 --> 00:40:39,443 You mean, right now all of these children's parents could be dead? 558 00:40:40,981 --> 00:40:43,506 Kids! Kids, please! 559 00:40:43,584 --> 00:40:45,950 It's not as bad as it seems. 560 00:40:46,020 --> 00:40:49,615 They didn't die alone. I'm sure they died with all the other people you loved. 561 00:40:51,258 --> 00:40:53,556 Even Santa Claus? 562 00:40:53,627 --> 00:40:56,596 No, of course not. There's no such thing as Santa Claus. 563 00:41:00,067 --> 00:41:02,535 Just like the Tooth Fairy, completely made up. 564 00:41:03,437 --> 00:41:05,962 Easter Bunny- Never existed. 565 00:41:07,141 --> 00:41:09,336 The female orgasm. 566 00:41:09,410 --> 00:41:12,379 Wait and see what happens when you try to find it. 567 00:41:13,481 --> 00:41:16,382 What's wrong? Your parents all getting divorces? 568 00:41:16,450 --> 00:41:19,647 I can give them a little advice, if you'd like. 569 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:22,553 Oh, I forgot. They're all dead. 570 00:41:22,623 --> 00:41:25,888 All right now, let's go on to another story, "Rumpelforeskin." 571 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,656 "Stiltzkin," sir. We have to get you to the White House. 572 00:41:28,729 --> 00:41:30,390 I just don't get kids. 573 00:41:30,464 --> 00:41:33,524 - Remind me to sign that abortion bill. - Yes, sir. 574 00:41:46,046 --> 00:41:47,809 You may leave through the forward exit doors... 575 00:41:47,882 --> 00:41:50,146 or the gaping hole in the side of the plane. 576 00:41:50,217 --> 00:41:52,208 We realize you have a choice in airlines... 577 00:41:52,286 --> 00:41:55,449 and we appreciate you flying with Southern Coast Air. 578 00:41:55,523 --> 00:41:56,820 - Thank you. - Hello? 579 00:42:00,127 --> 00:42:03,062 Hey! That's mine! I found it! 580 00:42:04,431 --> 00:42:07,195 - Cindy? - Brenda? 581 00:42:07,268 --> 00:42:10,760 Oh, my God. It's been so long. 582 00:42:10,838 --> 00:42:13,238 Yeah, too long. 583 00:42:13,307 --> 00:42:15,207 I thought you were dead. 584 00:42:15,276 --> 00:42:17,267 Oh, I thought you were dead, too. 585 00:42:17,344 --> 00:42:19,744 What are you doing here? Were you on this plane? 586 00:42:19,813 --> 00:42:21,872 No, I'm trying to get a good story. 587 00:42:21,949 --> 00:42:24,679 I'm a reporter now. I work for the local news. 588 00:42:24,752 --> 00:42:26,344 Wow, you're really doing well for yourself. 589 00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:29,947 I was on assignment. Take a look at this. 590 00:42:30,024 --> 00:42:31,719 Here's Detroit. 591 00:42:33,494 --> 00:42:36,019 And here's Detroit after the attack. 592 00:42:38,766 --> 00:42:40,563 Oh, my God. 593 00:42:40,634 --> 00:42:43,296 The attack was devastating. 594 00:42:43,370 --> 00:42:46,066 It's over, Cindy. Humanity has lost the war. 595 00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:48,131 No, no. There's still hope. 596 00:42:48,208 --> 00:42:51,006 I have reason to believe that there's someone here that has the answers... 597 00:42:51,078 --> 00:42:54,343 maybe even a way for us to fight back. 598 00:42:54,415 --> 00:42:57,748 Come on. It would make a great story. 599 00:42:57,818 --> 00:43:00,150 Maybe. But how are we supposed to get there? 600 00:43:00,220 --> 00:43:02,154 None of these cars work. 601 00:43:02,222 --> 00:43:04,087 Wait. See if this works. 602 00:43:07,094 --> 00:43:10,393 Hey! I got the last working car in New York! 603 00:43:10,464 --> 00:43:13,399 This is our road, bitches! Ha-ha! 604 00:43:18,138 --> 00:43:20,834 You're right, Cindy. That worked pretty well. 605 00:43:20,908 --> 00:43:22,239 I- 606 00:43:32,252 --> 00:43:34,117 Look at all the injured. 607 00:43:34,188 --> 00:43:35,780 It's so sad. 608 00:43:37,057 --> 00:43:39,548 Big-ass rat, man! 609 00:43:39,627 --> 00:43:41,527 Oh! That sewer took forever to fix! 610 00:43:41,595 --> 00:43:44,291 Man, I'm gonna need a hot bath after all of that- 611 00:43:44,365 --> 00:43:46,026 What the hell happened here? 612 00:43:50,604 --> 00:43:53,300 - Zombies! - Damn! 613 00:43:54,842 --> 00:43:56,241 Let's go! 614 00:43:57,711 --> 00:43:59,372 Don't let 'em bite you! 615 00:43:59,446 --> 00:44:02,244 Good news! They can still feel electricity. 616 00:44:02,316 --> 00:44:05,444 Grandma? The zombies have got my grandma! 617 00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:08,249 Die, Grandma! Die! Die! 618 00:44:08,322 --> 00:44:11,985 - I loved you! I loved you! - Mahalik? 619 00:44:12,059 --> 00:44:14,425 Look what they did to my grandmama! 620 00:44:14,495 --> 00:44:17,896 Whoa! 621 00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:21,267 That woman raised me from birth. 622 00:44:29,043 --> 00:44:31,841 Hey, he's got a car. He's got a car. 623 00:44:31,912 --> 00:44:33,903 Give us the car and the keys! 624 00:44:33,981 --> 00:44:37,576 This isn't my car. I would, but I can't. It's not my car. 625 00:44:37,651 --> 00:44:41,485 It's not my car. Don't worry, kids. The doors are locked. 626 00:44:41,555 --> 00:44:43,250 There's no possible way they can- 627 00:44:43,323 --> 00:44:46,918 Pull the robot out of chocolate. But that's just common sense. Oh, waiter! 628 00:44:48,228 --> 00:44:50,458 - Daddy! - Kids! 629 00:44:55,069 --> 00:44:57,629 Whoa! 630 00:44:58,706 --> 00:45:00,970 Why? 631 00:45:01,041 --> 00:45:03,100 Well. 632 00:45:03,177 --> 00:45:06,146 Get back! Get back! 633 00:45:10,150 --> 00:45:12,744 Gimme the gun. I'm taking the car. 634 00:45:12,820 --> 00:45:14,811 What do I do about him? 635 00:45:14,888 --> 00:45:17,220 I don't want the car. I just need a gun. 636 00:45:17,291 --> 00:45:19,555 No way I'm giving up the gun. I want the car. 637 00:45:19,626 --> 00:45:23,619 So, you need a gun, and you want a car. 638 00:45:23,697 --> 00:45:26,894 - What do you want? - Well, I've never owned a knife. 639 00:45:26,967 --> 00:45:29,629 Okay. Let's all switch on three. 640 00:45:29,703 --> 00:45:32,570 One, two, three. 641 00:45:34,575 --> 00:45:36,543 Is this right? 642 00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:39,738 I don't think so. 643 00:45:41,381 --> 00:45:44,509 Dad, they're taking the car. 644 00:45:44,585 --> 00:45:48,248 Yes, well, uh, let's keep going. 645 00:45:48,322 --> 00:45:51,257 What? That's it? You're giving up? 646 00:45:51,325 --> 00:45:53,657 Yeah, that's right. I'm giving up. 647 00:45:53,727 --> 00:45:56,059 You want a hero? Go find someone else. 648 00:45:56,130 --> 00:45:58,530 Why? 649 00:45:59,933 --> 00:46:02,561 Let's go. 650 00:46:02,636 --> 00:46:05,002 Now, let me get this straight: 651 00:46:05,072 --> 00:46:08,974 The girl hugged the duck, and then it dies? 652 00:46:09,042 --> 00:46:11,602 Mr. President, the nation is under attack. 653 00:46:11,678 --> 00:46:13,373 Get me Homer Landsquiddy. 654 00:46:13,447 --> 00:46:15,938 You mean, "Homeland Security." 655 00:46:17,518 --> 00:46:20,214 Sir, this woman was an eyewitness to one of the attacks. 656 00:46:20,287 --> 00:46:22,881 - What can you tell us? - They're indestructible. 657 00:46:22,956 --> 00:46:25,618 The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies. 658 00:46:25,692 --> 00:46:28,320 There were naked people everywhere. 659 00:46:28,395 --> 00:46:30,863 - Were you naked? - No. 660 00:46:30,931 --> 00:46:32,728 Thank God. Some good news at last. 661 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,631 Get her a souvenir. 662 00:46:54,655 --> 00:46:58,216 Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. 663 00:46:59,693 --> 00:47:02,457 Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! 664 00:47:02,529 --> 00:47:05,089 R. Kelly, don't pee on me! 665 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,259 My lovely lady lumps! 666 00:47:08,335 --> 00:47:10,326 Where are we? 667 00:47:10,404 --> 00:47:13,601 I'm not sure, but I think we're close. 668 00:47:13,674 --> 00:47:17,132 It's supposed to be near mile 62. 669 00:47:17,211 --> 00:47:18,940 Is something wrong? 670 00:47:19,012 --> 00:47:21,310 No, it's just... 671 00:47:21,381 --> 00:47:24,817 I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. 672 00:47:24,885 --> 00:47:26,819 Oh, you'd love him, Brenda. 673 00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:29,947 What's his name? I might've already loved him. 674 00:47:30,023 --> 00:47:31,786 Tom Ryan. 675 00:47:31,859 --> 00:47:34,987 Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy? 676 00:47:35,062 --> 00:47:38,156 No... No. 677 00:47:38,232 --> 00:47:41,599 But he is the kind of guy that I'd like to share the rest of my life with. 678 00:47:46,740 --> 00:47:48,765 Cindy! Look! 679 00:47:56,783 --> 00:47:58,478 What is this place? 680 00:47:58,552 --> 00:48:01,282 I don't know, but the boy's father's somewhere in there. 681 00:48:01,355 --> 00:48:03,289 We'll have to sneak our way in. 682 00:48:03,357 --> 00:48:05,348 But we're not gonna blend in dressed like this. 683 00:48:05,425 --> 00:48:08,360 - Brenda, look. - He's a wonderful boy. 684 00:48:36,690 --> 00:48:38,920 Ezekiel? 685 00:48:38,992 --> 00:48:40,926 Ezekiel, where are you? 686 00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:50,766 Ezekiel, shall we have a foot race? 687 00:48:50,837 --> 00:48:52,771 No cheating. 688 00:49:15,662 --> 00:49:17,220 That's him! 689 00:49:17,297 --> 00:49:19,595 He's cute. 690 00:49:22,602 --> 00:49:27,437 Friends, friends. Do not fear the noise of those of whom we do not speak. 691 00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:29,702 There is a gentle truce between our village 692 00:49:29,776 --> 00:49:32,301 and the creatures beyond their borders. 693 00:49:32,379 --> 00:49:34,244 Now, who would like to say grace? 694 00:49:34,314 --> 00:49:36,214 Ooh! 695 00:49:36,283 --> 00:49:38,114 Ah, Ezekiel. 696 00:49:39,419 --> 00:49:41,410 Pee-pee. 697 00:49:41,488 --> 00:49:44,423 Pee-pee vagina. 698 00:49:46,660 --> 00:49:48,753 Amen. 699 00:49:56,903 --> 00:49:59,133 Father? 700 00:49:59,206 --> 00:50:01,868 Holly. 701 00:50:01,942 --> 00:50:04,274 For what purpose do you interrupt 702 00:50:04,344 --> 00:50:08,747 the celebration of the domestic partnership 703 00:50:08,815 --> 00:50:11,113 of Mordecai and Hoss? 704 00:50:11,184 --> 00:50:13,118 The guards caught two outsiders near the cabin. 705 00:50:19,826 --> 00:50:21,259 Who are you? 706 00:50:21,328 --> 00:50:24,388 I must speak with you. I was sent by your son. 707 00:50:24,464 --> 00:50:26,523 Don't be ridiculous. 708 00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,864 - I have no son. - That's not true! 709 00:50:28,935 --> 00:50:31,233 I know who you are. I've seen the pictures. 710 00:50:31,304 --> 00:50:34,432 - I was young. I needed the work. - No. 711 00:50:34,508 --> 00:50:36,100 At Mrs. Norris's house. 712 00:50:36,176 --> 00:50:38,576 I didn't know whose house it was. 713 00:50:38,645 --> 00:50:41,079 They drugged me. Never mind that. 714 00:50:41,148 --> 00:50:45,278 You're outsiders. The council will decide your fates. 715 00:50:51,391 --> 00:50:54,918 The question of the outsiders is now at hand. 716 00:50:54,995 --> 00:50:58,590 But first, Martha, have you some tidings? 717 00:50:58,665 --> 00:51:01,031 Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith 718 00:51:01,101 --> 00:51:03,069 have informed me of their intentions. 719 00:51:03,136 --> 00:51:06,333 He intends to have sex with her as soon as possible. 720 00:51:06,406 --> 00:51:10,467 She intends to put up a mild fight and then give in. 721 00:51:16,983 --> 00:51:20,009 Amos, something does trouble you? 722 00:51:21,054 --> 00:51:25,457 We now have a majority of those who wish to say "I'm"... 723 00:51:25,525 --> 00:51:27,857 instead of “I am." 724 00:51:27,928 --> 00:51:30,260 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 725 00:51:31,398 --> 00:51:33,696 Silence! 726 00:51:33,767 --> 00:51:35,632 We have more important matters to discuss. 727 00:51:35,702 --> 00:51:39,160 I fear that the presence of the outsiders 728 00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:42,697 will attract those of whom we do not speak. 729 00:51:42,776 --> 00:51:45,973 If you talk about those of whom we do not speak... 730 00:51:46,046 --> 00:51:48,344 have you not spoken of that 731 00:51:48,415 --> 00:51:50,212 about which we do not talk? 732 00:51:50,283 --> 00:51:53,218 Do not speak of that of about which 733 00:51:53,286 --> 00:51:58,087 we talk of not speaking... about. 734 00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:11,063 Elder Hale. We should welcome the outsiders among us. 735 00:52:11,138 --> 00:52:14,596 Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held? 736 00:52:14,674 --> 00:52:17,404 I am sorry, Elder Hale... 737 00:52:17,477 --> 00:52:21,675 but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it. 738 00:52:23,583 --> 00:52:27,383 This is a problem with which I have had much experience. 739 00:52:27,454 --> 00:52:30,548 Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. 740 00:52:31,925 --> 00:52:34,155 Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit. 741 00:52:34,227 --> 00:52:37,060 Silence. 742 00:52:40,767 --> 00:52:45,227 After this, how about you take your thing of which we do not speak... 743 00:52:45,305 --> 00:52:47,500 and slide it up in my place of which I like- 744 00:52:47,574 --> 00:52:49,508 Silence! 745 00:52:49,576 --> 00:52:51,908 The elders will consult. 746 00:53:00,453 --> 00:53:02,114 Ah. Much better. 747 00:53:35,322 --> 00:53:39,258 I'm not in my house, am I? 748 00:53:39,326 --> 00:53:41,226 No. 749 00:53:44,397 --> 00:53:49,130 Outsiders, we have decided to let you stay with us... 750 00:53:49,202 --> 00:53:52,501 so that you'll be safe from those from of whom we do not- 751 00:53:52,572 --> 00:53:54,699 Or don't. 752 00:53:54,774 --> 00:53:56,264 Speak. 753 00:53:56,343 --> 00:53:59,369 But now that you are a part of our village... 754 00:53:59,446 --> 00:54:01,505 understand this: 755 00:54:01,581 --> 00:54:03,708 You may never leave. 756 00:54:03,783 --> 00:54:07,014 No! No! 757 00:54:07,087 --> 00:54:09,612 How did your son die? 758 00:54:09,689 --> 00:54:12,214 - The fate of the world is at stake. - You know what to do. 759 00:54:12,292 --> 00:54:13,953 Was it you? Did you kill him? 760 00:54:14,027 --> 00:54:15,961 This is some shit up with which we will not put. 761 00:54:16,029 --> 00:54:18,520 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 762 00:54:21,868 --> 00:54:25,133 This village isn't what it used to be. 763 00:54:27,540 --> 00:54:30,907 Just hours after the devastating alien attack... 764 00:54:30,977 --> 00:54:34,276 world leaders have gathered at the United Nations. 765 00:54:34,347 --> 00:54:37,043 In this, mankind's darkest hour... 766 00:54:37,117 --> 00:54:39,449 the human race has turned, as one... 767 00:54:39,519 --> 00:54:41,453 to the wisdom and leadership 768 00:54:41,521 --> 00:54:44,046 of the President of the United States. 769 00:54:44,124 --> 00:54:48,060 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. 770 00:54:48,128 --> 00:54:50,096 Go get 'em, tiger. 771 00:54:50,163 --> 00:54:52,154 They mean you, sir. 772 00:54:52,232 --> 00:54:54,029 Oh, yes, of course. 773 00:55:03,043 --> 00:55:07,241 So... an Indian, a Frenchman and the Pope are all on a plane. 774 00:55:07,314 --> 00:55:11,216 The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" 775 00:55:11,284 --> 00:55:14,219 So the Pope lifts up his robe and says... 776 00:55:14,287 --> 00:55:16,983 "Shut up, stupid. You don't even speak English." 777 00:55:18,591 --> 00:55:20,923 The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes... 778 00:55:20,994 --> 00:55:23,428 but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew. 779 00:55:23,496 --> 00:55:26,863 You're the one who sold me these cheap glasses." 780 00:55:26,933 --> 00:55:29,595 What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? 781 00:55:29,669 --> 00:55:33,230 The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good. 782 00:55:37,644 --> 00:55:41,546 But, on a serious note, I'm here today at the, uh... 783 00:55:42,315 --> 00:55:45,113 "un"... because the Earth has been attacked. 784 00:55:45,185 --> 00:55:48,052 I'm happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back. 785 00:55:48,121 --> 00:55:50,612 My military advisers at the Pentagram 786 00:55:50,690 --> 00:55:52,453 have managed to do the impossible. 787 00:55:52,525 --> 00:55:56,188 They have captured one of the alien heat ray guns. 788 00:55:56,262 --> 00:56:00,528 As you know, the heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes. 789 00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,763 Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon 790 00:56:03,837 --> 00:56:07,136 in the hopes that it can now be turned against 791 00:56:07,207 --> 00:56:09,266 the alien invaders. 792 00:56:13,546 --> 00:56:16,572 Well, where was I? 793 00:56:16,649 --> 00:56:19,812 Ah, yes. We expect that the alien shields will be vulnerable 794 00:56:19,886 --> 00:56:22,377 to this reconfigured weapon. 795 00:56:24,357 --> 00:56:27,724 People, please! Please! 796 00:56:27,794 --> 00:56:33,130 Please, people. Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening... 797 00:56:33,199 --> 00:56:36,635 but I believe that deep down inside this heat cannon 798 00:56:36,703 --> 00:56:38,136 is our best chance. 799 00:56:38,204 --> 00:56:40,638 Let me give you a demonstration. 800 00:56:40,707 --> 00:56:43,403 Now let's see if this thing is plugged in. 801 00:56:45,979 --> 00:56:48,140 Uh... it's not a very pretty sight. 802 00:56:48,214 --> 00:56:50,478 Everything's loose and flapping around. 803 00:56:50,550 --> 00:56:52,518 Look at this little pink thing. 804 00:56:59,559 --> 00:57:02,619 Someone get some lubricant, and we'll slather it around in here. 805 00:57:02,695 --> 00:57:05,027 There. 806 00:57:17,710 --> 00:57:20,873 Harper. Good God, these people are all naked. 807 00:57:20,947 --> 00:57:24,314 Have you no shame? Have you no decency? 808 00:57:24,384 --> 00:57:26,648 - Sir, you're naked, too. - I am? 809 00:57:26,719 --> 00:57:29,381 - I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat. - Sir! 810 00:57:29,456 --> 00:57:31,048 - These aren't buttons? - No! 811 00:57:31,124 --> 00:57:33,456 I've been pulling this thing up and down like a zipper. 812 00:57:33,526 --> 00:57:35,187 Mr. President, please. 813 00:57:35,261 --> 00:57:37,695 There goes that duck again. 814 00:57:43,770 --> 00:57:45,704 Yo, man, you see this red weed? 815 00:57:45,772 --> 00:57:47,763 Nope. 816 00:57:47,841 --> 00:57:49,775 Dad, how much further till Mom's? 817 00:57:49,843 --> 00:57:51,674 I don't know. 818 00:57:51,744 --> 00:57:54,338 I'm not sure how much longer I can carry your sister. 819 00:57:54,414 --> 00:57:57,713 I've been walking this entire time. 820 00:57:57,784 --> 00:58:00,378 - Then who the hell is- - I'll pay you. 821 00:58:00,453 --> 00:58:03,047 Stay close, Rachel. 822 00:58:03,122 --> 00:58:06,558 Dad, look! 823 00:58:06,626 --> 00:58:09,424 Hey! Hey! You guys! I want to help! 824 00:58:09,496 --> 00:58:11,430 Robbie! Oh, no. 825 00:58:13,066 --> 00:58:16,433 Don't move. For God's sake, stay right there. I'll be right back! 826 00:58:16,503 --> 00:58:19,495 Hey! Hey, you guys! I want to help. 827 00:58:21,908 --> 00:58:23,671 Awesome! 828 00:58:23,743 --> 00:58:26,337 - Wait! - Are you crazy? 829 00:58:26,412 --> 00:58:28,539 No! They'll pay for half my college. 830 00:58:29,949 --> 00:58:31,814 Kick ass. 831 00:58:31,885 --> 00:58:33,716 Robbie! 832 00:58:33,786 --> 00:58:35,720 - Yes! - What's the matter with you? 833 00:58:35,788 --> 00:58:39,053 Hey, look at that guy. This is so cool! 834 00:58:41,127 --> 00:58:44,858 Robbie! Robbie! 835 00:58:50,336 --> 00:58:52,861 Rachel! Rachel! 836 00:58:52,939 --> 00:58:55,237 Little girl, are you alone? 837 00:58:55,308 --> 00:58:57,367 You need to come with me. 838 00:58:57,443 --> 00:58:59,434 I'll keep you safe, right, kids? 839 00:58:59,512 --> 00:59:00,945 Uh-uh. 840 00:59:01,014 --> 00:59:03,073 - Do you have a little brother? - Get away from her! 841 00:59:06,553 --> 00:59:08,214 Run away, kids! 842 00:59:09,055 --> 00:59:10,750 Toward the tripod, if you have to! 843 00:59:10,823 --> 00:59:13,155 Don't go! I've got a Ferris wheel and a chimp... 844 00:59:13,226 --> 00:59:15,660 and a big, soft bed we can all get in. 845 00:59:20,199 --> 00:59:22,599 No, please! 846 00:59:22,669 --> 00:59:23,966 Not my real face! 847 00:59:24,037 --> 00:59:25,902 Not my real face! 848 00:59:25,972 --> 00:59:27,997 No! 849 00:59:33,646 --> 00:59:35,238 Over here. 850 00:59:35,315 --> 00:59:38,409 Follow me to safety. 851 00:59:38,484 --> 00:59:41,612 - Ow! - Follow me to safety. 852 00:59:41,688 --> 00:59:44,623 - I don't know about this. - I'm an excellent judge of character. 853 00:59:44,691 --> 00:59:47,182 All right. Yeah. 854 01:00:12,352 --> 01:00:15,287 That's it. 855 01:00:15,355 --> 01:00:16,583 Oh, Brenda. 856 01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:21,025 Yes! You did it! 857 01:00:21,094 --> 01:00:24,791 You have learned quickly and produced splendid butter. 858 01:00:24,864 --> 01:00:27,332 Are you sure you have not churned before? 859 01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,891 Well, we don't call it churning where I come from. 860 01:00:37,610 --> 01:00:39,407 Pee-pee vagina. 861 01:00:53,593 --> 01:00:55,527 Quick! Into the cellar. 862 01:00:55,595 --> 01:00:58,120 No! 863 01:00:58,197 --> 01:01:01,223 This is the cellar. That's the cesspool. 864 01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:02,892 Damn it! 865 01:01:05,438 --> 01:01:06,769 Quick! 866 01:01:27,660 --> 01:01:30,128 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 867 01:01:30,196 --> 01:01:32,357 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 868 01:01:32,432 --> 01:01:35,265 Hey! You're not monsters. 869 01:01:37,537 --> 01:01:39,095 Old Lady Henderson? 870 01:01:39,172 --> 01:01:41,572 And Pig-Face Joe! 871 01:01:46,779 --> 01:01:48,644 What happened? 872 01:01:48,715 --> 01:01:50,205 It is Henry. 873 01:01:50,283 --> 01:01:52,843 He has suffered a heart attack 874 01:01:52,919 --> 01:01:54,910 brought on by this knife. 875 01:01:56,355 --> 01:01:58,255 Who did this? 876 01:01:58,324 --> 01:02:00,258 It was... Ezekiel. 877 01:02:02,095 --> 01:02:04,086 Henry, you need a hospital. 878 01:02:04,163 --> 01:02:06,654 It's not too late. We can help you. 879 01:02:06,733 --> 01:02:09,861 Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife. 880 01:02:12,972 --> 01:02:14,633 Do not be concerned for him, Cindy. 881 01:02:14,707 --> 01:02:18,165 We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines. 882 01:02:31,257 --> 01:02:33,248 I am so dead. 883 01:02:33,326 --> 01:02:35,920 Please, leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda. 884 01:02:35,995 --> 01:02:37,587 I have much to tell them. 885 01:02:40,933 --> 01:02:43,026 Listen carefully to me. 886 01:02:43,102 --> 01:02:45,093 I am not long for this world. 887 01:02:45,171 --> 01:02:47,139 - Pussy. - Brenda! 888 01:02:47,206 --> 01:02:51,006 What? 50 Cent got shot nine times. He's still walking around. 889 01:02:51,077 --> 01:02:54,137 Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy? Was it you? 890 01:02:54,213 --> 01:02:58,047 No, I loved him and his mother very much. 891 01:02:58,117 --> 01:03:00,108 I should have been with him when he died. 892 01:03:00,186 --> 01:03:02,450 It was horrible. 893 01:03:02,522 --> 01:03:04,547 What happened? You must tell me. 894 01:03:04,624 --> 01:03:06,785 They went to a boxing match. 895 01:03:06,859 --> 01:03:09,293 It was a women's championship title fight. 896 01:03:10,763 --> 01:03:13,596 And there was a terrible accident. 897 01:03:13,666 --> 01:03:15,827 Oh, my God. 898 01:03:26,712 --> 01:03:28,646 Only in America! 899 01:03:33,352 --> 01:03:36,048 All this time, I've been searching for his killer 900 01:03:36,122 --> 01:03:38,090 when it was me, Brenda. 901 01:03:38,157 --> 01:03:40,091 It was all my fault. 902 01:03:40,159 --> 01:03:42,889 Henry, your son told me that if I found his killer... 903 01:03:42,962 --> 01:03:44,930 I would know how to defeat the aliens. 904 01:03:44,997 --> 01:03:47,932 And he was right. Don't you see? 905 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:51,128 All you have to do is- 906 01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:56,533 Who the hell let his ass out of jail? 907 01:03:56,609 --> 01:03:58,372 His brother, the sheriff. 908 01:04:01,747 --> 01:04:04,716 Fuckin' "A." 909 01:04:09,622 --> 01:04:11,852 There you go, sweetie. 910 01:04:11,924 --> 01:04:13,858 We're gonna die, aren't we? 911 01:04:13,926 --> 01:04:18,056 Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you. I haven't lost anyone yet. 912 01:04:18,130 --> 01:04:21,588 - You've lost Robbie. - Except Robbie. 913 01:04:21,667 --> 01:04:26,070 None of that matters right now. What's important is that I'm here with you. 914 01:04:26,138 --> 01:04:28,072 Try and get some sleep, okay? 915 01:04:29,342 --> 01:04:31,401 Sing me "Lullaby and Good Night"? 916 01:04:33,179 --> 01:04:35,545 I don't know that one. 917 01:04:35,615 --> 01:04:38,140 Sing me "Hushabye Mountain"? 918 01:04:38,217 --> 01:04:40,276 I'm sorry, Rachel, I don't that one, either. 919 01:05:17,023 --> 01:05:19,457 Hey. Come on in. 920 01:05:19,525 --> 01:05:22,119 Have a seat. 921 01:05:22,194 --> 01:05:25,186 - The name's Oliver. - Tom Ryan. 922 01:05:27,133 --> 01:05:29,897 I found this place. Plenty of food- 923 01:05:30,870 --> 01:05:33,737 Along with two freshly killed busybodies upstairs... 924 01:05:33,806 --> 01:05:37,003 who "owned" the place. We could stay here forever. 925 01:05:37,076 --> 01:05:39,840 - Are you afraid? - Of course I'm afraid. 926 01:05:39,912 --> 01:05:42,073 I'm not. I've been around death plenty. 927 01:05:42,148 --> 01:05:44,639 I used to drive an ambulance in the city... 928 01:05:44,717 --> 01:05:48,312 but, apparently, I wasn't a very strong driver. 929 01:05:48,387 --> 01:05:50,719 It seems I was killing more people than I was saving. 930 01:05:50,790 --> 01:05:53,486 Something about that siren got me excited. 931 01:05:53,559 --> 01:05:57,120 Wham! Carnage. 932 01:05:57,196 --> 01:05:59,630 But this is different. This is a war. 933 01:05:59,699 --> 01:06:01,997 No, it's an extermination. 934 01:06:02,068 --> 01:06:04,832 It's no more of a war than there's a war between men and maggots... 935 01:06:04,904 --> 01:06:07,236 or dragons and wolves... 936 01:06:07,306 --> 01:06:11,436 or men riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots. 937 01:06:11,510 --> 01:06:15,207 Damn it, Tom. Can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you? 938 01:06:15,281 --> 01:06:17,772 These aliens must have a weakness. 939 01:06:17,850 --> 01:06:20,250 I heard that the Japs killed a few of 'em over in Kikkoman. 940 01:06:20,319 --> 01:06:23,152 Kikkoman. That's-That's soy sauce. 941 01:06:23,222 --> 01:06:24,985 Right, yeah. Low sodium. 942 01:06:25,057 --> 01:06:28,220 What I'm trying to say, Tom, is that you and I should be fighting these things. 943 01:06:28,294 --> 01:06:30,694 It's us that should be coming up from under the ground. 944 01:06:30,763 --> 01:06:32,822 Of course, we'll have to bury ourselves first... 945 01:06:32,898 --> 01:06:34,229 but it'll be worth it. 946 01:06:34,300 --> 01:06:36,427 Cool breeze. No sunblock. Worms. 947 01:06:36,502 --> 01:06:39,494 When we build our own tripods, they'll have four legs. 948 01:06:39,572 --> 01:06:41,540 I gotta show ya something. 949 01:06:44,410 --> 01:06:47,902 We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of 'em. 950 01:06:52,918 --> 01:06:55,409 Wish we had some shovels, don't you? 951 01:07:04,597 --> 01:07:06,827 Dad. 952 01:08:12,932 --> 01:08:15,400 Daddy! 953 01:08:15,468 --> 01:08:17,095 Rachel! 954 01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:23,472 Rachel! Rachel! 955 01:08:32,818 --> 01:08:35,753 What's the secret, Brenda? What am I missing? 956 01:08:37,957 --> 01:08:40,926 Oh, please! More fake monsters? 957 01:08:48,834 --> 01:08:52,463 Cindy! 958 01:09:08,254 --> 01:09:11,451 Help! Help! 959 01:09:12,825 --> 01:09:15,817 I promised I'd find you, didn't I? 960 01:09:29,608 --> 01:09:32,406 Where are we? What is this? 961 01:09:32,478 --> 01:09:35,538 Some kind of basket attached to the tripod. 962 01:09:35,614 --> 01:09:37,275 Jesus! 963 01:09:37,349 --> 01:09:40,250 I know, it's horrible. But why? 964 01:09:40,319 --> 01:09:42,150 What are the aliens gonna do to us? 965 01:09:42,221 --> 01:09:44,155 I don't know, but they're taking everyone- 966 01:09:44,223 --> 01:09:46,919 young, old, rich, poor, Chingy. 967 01:09:58,103 --> 01:10:00,196 - Daddy! - Rachel! 968 01:10:00,272 --> 01:10:03,673 - No! - Daddy! Help! 969 01:10:03,742 --> 01:10:05,642 Tom! 970 01:10:15,487 --> 01:10:18,149 Am I dead? 971 01:10:18,224 --> 01:10:20,317 You're not dead. 972 01:10:30,035 --> 01:10:32,469 - Brenda! - Cindy! 973 01:10:32,538 --> 01:10:35,336 Hey... could be worse. 974 01:10:38,143 --> 01:10:41,408 - You want to switch? - Okay. 975 01:10:41,480 --> 01:10:44,381 Brenda, look! 976 01:10:44,450 --> 01:10:48,045 I don't believe it! The aliens killed a dinosaur! 977 01:10:52,224 --> 01:10:56,320 Hello, humans. Welcome to the inside of the command tripod. 978 01:10:57,129 --> 01:10:59,597 Where's Rachel? What have you done with my daughter? 979 01:10:59,665 --> 01:11:03,533 All in good time, Tom. But first, I want to play a game. 980 01:11:03,602 --> 01:11:07,402 The devices you wear will trigger in 60 seconds. 981 01:11:07,473 --> 01:11:11,933 The switch on the wall behind Cindy will disable them. 982 01:11:12,011 --> 01:11:13,876 But where is the key? 983 01:11:13,946 --> 01:11:15,538 I'll give you a hint, Cindy. 984 01:11:16,982 --> 01:11:18,711 Let the game begin. 985 01:11:18,784 --> 01:11:22,515 I... I don't get it. 986 01:11:22,588 --> 01:11:27,218 Okay... maybe this will help you "see." 987 01:11:34,166 --> 01:11:37,761 You want me to... cut something? 988 01:11:37,836 --> 01:11:41,101 That should be obvious, yes. 989 01:11:43,142 --> 01:11:44,609 No. 990 01:11:46,745 --> 01:11:49,771 No! The key is behind your eye, okay? 991 01:11:55,788 --> 01:11:59,121 Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it! 992 01:12:03,162 --> 01:12:05,426 Fake eye. 993 01:12:05,497 --> 01:12:07,829 Bad bar fight in '96. 994 01:12:11,637 --> 01:12:14,071 Oh. 995 01:12:16,241 --> 01:12:20,177 Oh... oh, I hope this doesn't come between us. 996 01:12:20,245 --> 01:12:22,236 Of course not. 997 01:12:29,021 --> 01:12:31,649 Is it too late for me to try this on? 998 01:12:31,724 --> 01:12:33,589 Silence! The game is not yet over. 999 01:12:36,095 --> 01:12:37,756 - Rachel! - Daddy! 1000 01:12:37,830 --> 01:12:40,264 - Robbie! Daddy! 1001 01:12:44,203 --> 01:12:48,435 The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you. 1002 01:12:48,507 --> 01:12:50,998 Well, we had a good run. 1003 01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:57,342 Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you? 1004 01:12:57,416 --> 01:13:00,351 On the contrary, I was counting on it. 1005 01:13:06,125 --> 01:13:08,821 I call it..."the nutcracker." 1006 01:13:08,894 --> 01:13:10,828 Why? 1007 01:13:10,896 --> 01:13:13,626 Of course. 1008 01:13:19,304 --> 01:13:24,469 Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 1009 01:13:28,414 --> 01:13:30,678 Oh, my- Oh, my gosh. 1010 01:13:30,749 --> 01:13:34,344 Of course. Follow the blood. Henry was his stepdad. 1011 01:13:34,420 --> 01:13:36,911 You're the little boy's real father! 1012 01:13:36,989 --> 01:13:38,889 Where did you even meet her? 1013 01:13:38,957 --> 01:13:41,425 It was spring break in Cabo. So what? 1014 01:13:41,493 --> 01:13:43,825 I blended in. Seriously, who gives a crap? 1015 01:13:43,896 --> 01:13:45,227 What's this? 1016 01:13:47,733 --> 01:13:49,667 Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom. 1017 01:13:52,938 --> 01:13:55,031 Please, your son wouldn't want this. 1018 01:13:55,107 --> 01:13:57,905 His soul walks the Earth because of the pain you've caused him. 1019 01:13:57,976 --> 01:14:00,604 No. I have crossed a galaxy for revenge. 1020 01:14:00,679 --> 01:14:02,874 But it's my fault. Let the others go. 1021 01:14:02,948 --> 01:14:06,111 Oh, I don't think so. Look upon him as he writhes! 1022 01:14:06,185 --> 01:14:09,586 Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! 1023 01:14:09,655 --> 01:14:11,748 I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps! 1024 01:14:14,193 --> 01:14:15,888 Have you lost your mind? 1025 01:14:15,961 --> 01:14:18,395 No one... bitch slaps... Brenda! 1026 01:14:18,464 --> 01:14:20,625 Zoltar, help! 1027 01:14:20,699 --> 01:14:24,135 Oh, oh! This is some bullshit! 1028 01:14:24,203 --> 01:14:27,570 I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death, but- 1029 01:14:27,639 --> 01:14:29,971 Oh, wet willy! 1030 01:14:30,042 --> 01:14:33,273 Killing us won't bring your little boy back. 1031 01:14:33,345 --> 01:14:36,246 No. You will all pay for what you have done. 1032 01:14:36,315 --> 01:14:38,408 Besides, I've already built this thing. 1033 01:14:39,852 --> 01:14:42,912 When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place. 1034 01:14:42,988 --> 01:14:44,979 Your children will be saved... 1035 01:14:45,057 --> 01:14:47,651 but you will suffer a terrible death. 1036 01:14:47,726 --> 01:14:50,388 Can you hang on to the ones you love? 1037 01:14:50,462 --> 01:14:52,589 You have 60 seconds. 1038 01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:57,829 - No. - Don't worry, kids. I won't quit on you. 1039 01:14:59,371 --> 01:15:01,305 It's okay to let go, Dad. 1040 01:15:01,373 --> 01:15:03,933 All you ever had to do was show that you loved me. 1041 01:15:05,210 --> 01:15:07,474 And show me what it means to be a man. 1042 01:15:07,546 --> 01:15:10,071 And show me that I could love again. 1043 01:15:11,250 --> 01:15:12,979 We forgive you, Dad. 1044 01:15:24,196 --> 01:15:26,164 The spikes- they stopped! 1045 01:15:29,835 --> 01:15:32,201 - Kids! - Daddy! 1046 01:15:36,542 --> 01:15:39,511 Are you... sparing our lives? 1047 01:15:39,578 --> 01:15:41,512 Anyone can hold a grudge... 1048 01:15:41,580 --> 01:15:43,878 but it takes real courage to forgive. 1049 01:15:43,949 --> 01:15:47,885 - The invasion is over. - And? 1050 01:15:47,953 --> 01:15:51,013 And I guess I'm sorry or something. I don't know. 1051 01:15:51,089 --> 01:15:52,716 Like you mean it. 1052 01:15:52,791 --> 01:15:54,725 Okay. 1053 01:15:54,793 --> 01:15:57,387 I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever! 1054 01:15:57,462 --> 01:16:00,124 Wait... where's Brenda? 1055 01:16:02,734 --> 01:16:04,361 What? 1056 01:16:04,436 --> 01:16:06,836 We're at peace now. I was just sealing the deal. 1057 01:16:08,106 --> 01:16:11,439 Come on, Brenda. Let's go. 1058 01:16:11,510 --> 01:16:15,412 Bye, Zoltar! Don't lose my number! 1059 01:16:17,516 --> 01:16:19,507 Tell me you didn't catch something. 1060 01:16:19,585 --> 01:16:22,486 Nah, it's cool. She said she was a virgin. 1061 01:16:24,690 --> 01:16:27,056 We are so fucked. 1062 01:16:42,274 --> 01:16:44,208 Mommy! 1063 01:16:49,081 --> 01:16:50,378 Thank you. 1064 01:16:52,784 --> 01:16:54,513 Hey, look, kids- Grandpa. 1065 01:16:56,488 --> 01:16:58,217 No, that's my new husband. 1066 01:17:04,997 --> 01:17:09,627 Oh, I think it's romantic- the way love can find anyone. 1067 01:17:13,538 --> 01:17:16,996 And so, love triumphed in the end... 1068 01:17:17,075 --> 01:17:19,373 and the invaders were destroyed. 1069 01:17:19,444 --> 01:17:22,174 For this world, our world... 1070 01:17:22,247 --> 01:17:24,215 is the world of man. 1071 01:17:24,282 --> 01:17:27,308 We have earned the right to live here... 1072 01:17:27,386 --> 01:17:31,755 and as long as we love, humanity will prevail. 1073 01:17:31,823 --> 01:17:35,657 Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us... 1074 01:17:35,727 --> 01:17:40,460 each has been undone by their own nefarious plans. 1075 01:17:40,532 --> 01:17:43,990 Among all worlds, across all galaxies... 1076 01:17:44,069 --> 01:17:47,732 we stand above, we stand alone. 1077 01:17:47,806 --> 01:17:52,436 None can threaten our existence, none can challenge our spirit. 1078 01:17:52,511 --> 01:17:54,445 And why? 1079 01:17:54,513 --> 01:17:57,812 Of all the qualities that make us unique... 1080 01:17:57,883 --> 01:18:00,545 it is love that is our greatest strength... 1081 01:18:00,619 --> 01:18:03,247 and because of love, mankind- 1082 01:18:07,292 --> 01:18:10,523 Thank you. Hello, and welcome to the show. 1083 01:18:10,595 --> 01:18:14,361 We have got a very special man with some very special news. 1084 01:18:14,433 --> 01:18:17,664 That's right- he's in the building! The man who saved the world! 1085 01:18:17,736 --> 01:18:20,000 Put your hands together for Tom Ryan! 1086 01:18:23,075 --> 01:18:25,669 - Yes! - My best friend. 1087 01:18:34,619 --> 01:18:36,883 Whoo! 1088 01:18:41,526 --> 01:18:44,324 - Wow. - That's it? 1089 01:18:44,396 --> 01:18:46,091 Okay. 1090 01:18:50,302 --> 01:18:53,669 - So, you're in love. - I am. I'm in love. 1091 01:18:58,810 --> 01:19:01,210 He's lost it. The boy's lost it. 1092 01:19:01,279 --> 01:19:03,907 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 1093 01:19:09,554 --> 01:19:12,148 - You are adorable when you are in love. - Thank you. 1094 01:19:12,224 --> 01:19:15,523 - Tell us all about her. - She's great. She's really terrific. 1095 01:19:15,594 --> 01:19:17,255 So it's complicated. 1096 01:19:17,329 --> 01:19:19,593 Yeah, you were saying that-that she's complex, I guess. 1097 01:19:19,664 --> 01:19:21,495 Shut up! 1098 01:19:30,108 --> 01:19:33,373 - Ow! - You're insane. Tom Ryan is insane! 1099 01:19:33,445 --> 01:19:35,470 - I'm insane! - Are you happy? 1100 01:19:35,547 --> 01:19:37,515 - You're happy? - I'm so happy. Hey! Look! 1101 01:19:37,582 --> 01:19:42,315 Whoa! 1102 01:19:42,387 --> 01:19:44,378 Tom. Okay, you've got balls. 1103 01:19:46,958 --> 01:19:50,519 Yeah! 1104 01:19:50,595 --> 01:19:52,392 Shoe! 1105 01:19:57,235 --> 01:19:59,726 I love Cindy Campbell! 1106 01:19:59,805 --> 01:20:02,239 I can jump on things! 1107 01:20:03,275 --> 01:20:05,243 Whoa! 1108 01:20:08,713 --> 01:20:11,944 Wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee! 1109 01:20:12,017 --> 01:20:13,951 Wowee- wowee-wowee-wowee! 1110 01:20:14,019 --> 01:20:17,352 Ya-ha! Whoa! 1111 01:20:21,660 --> 01:20:23,457 Okay, um, Tom... isn't Cindy here? 1112 01:20:23,528 --> 01:20:26,292 I know she's here. Cindy, I know you're in the building. 1113 01:20:26,364 --> 01:20:28,696 - Cindy! Cindy! - Cindy! Cindy! 1114 01:20:28,767 --> 01:20:33,761 - Let's bring her out right now! - I love this woman! I love this woman! 1115 01:20:42,247 --> 01:20:45,216 Oh, God! God! 1116 01:20:45,283 --> 01:20:48,218 Oh, God! 1117 01:20:49,719 --> 01:20:53,219 Subtitles by GMoRK ESiR:.