1 00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:54,849 Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. 2 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:58,689 But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort... 3 00:00:58,769 --> 00:01:03,649 which could only be broken by love's first kiss. 4 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:06,069 She was locked away in a castle... 5 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:10,369 guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. 6 00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:14,829 Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, 7 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,659 but none prevailed. 8 00:01:17,749 --> 00:01:19,919 She waited in the dragon's keep... 9 00:01:19,999 --> 00:01:22,919 in the highest room of the tallest tower... 10 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:27,549 for her true love and true love's first kiss. 11 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,589 Like that's ever gonna happen. 12 00:01:30,679 --> 00:01:34,429 What a load of... 13 00:01:34,509 --> 00:01:39,099 Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me 14 00:01:39,189 --> 00:01:43,149 I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. 15 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:48,149 She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb. 16 00:01:48,239 --> 00:01:51,949 In the shape of an I on her forehead. 17 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,949 The years start coming and they don't stop coming. 18 00:01:55,039 --> 00:01:57,869 Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. 19 00:01:57,949 --> 00:02:00,209 Didn't make sense not to live for fun. 20 00:02:00,289 --> 00:02:02,499 Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. 21 00:02:02,579 --> 00:02:04,499 So much to do So much to see. 22 00:02:04,589 --> 00:02:07,169 So what's wrong with taking the backstreets. 23 00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:09,299 You'll never know if you don't go. 24 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,839 You'll never shine if you don't glow. 25 00:02:11,929 --> 00:02:13,849 Hey, now You're an all-star. 26 00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:16,309 Get your game on, go play. 27 00:02:16,389 --> 00:02:20,309 Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid. 28 00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:24,359 And all that glitters is gold. 29 00:02:24,439 --> 00:02:29,859 Only shooting stars break the mold. 30 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,949 It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. 31 00:02:32,029 --> 00:02:34,199 You're bundled up now but wait till you get older. 32 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,409 But the meteor men beg to differ. 33 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,409 Judging by the hole in the satellite picture. 34 00:02:38,499 --> 00:02:41,209 The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. 35 00:02:41,289 --> 00:02:43,328 The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. 36 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,249 My world's on fire How about yours. 37 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,999 That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. 38 00:02:48,089 --> 00:02:50,719 Hey, now, you're an all-star. 39 00:02:50,799 --> 00:02:54,389 Get your game on, go play. 40 00:02:54,469 --> 00:02:57,599 Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid. 41 00:02:57,679 --> 00:03:01,389 And all that glitters is gold. 42 00:03:01,479 --> 00:03:06,399 Only shooting stars break the mold. 43 00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:12,239 - Go! - Go! 44 00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:15,449 Go. Go. Go. 45 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,079 Hey, now You're an all-star. 46 00:03:18,159 --> 00:03:21,249 Get your game on, go play. 47 00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:25,579 Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid. 48 00:03:25,669 --> 00:03:29,549 And all that glitters is gold. 49 00:03:29,629 --> 00:03:34,929 Only shooting stars break the mold. 50 00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:42,889 - Think it's in there? - AI right. Let's get it! 51 00:03:42,979 --> 00:03:45,729 Whoa. Ho ID on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? 52 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,769 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. 53 00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:52,819 Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. 54 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,949 Now, ogres... They're much worse. 55 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:59,949 They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. 56 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,119 - No! - They'll shave your liver. 57 00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:05,459 Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! 58 00:04:05,539 --> 00:04:08,079 - Actually, it's quite good on toast. - Back! Back, beast! 59 00:04:08,169 --> 00:04:10,299 Back! I warn ya! 60 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:16,589 Right. 61 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:35,989 This is the part where you run away. 62 00:04:42,789 --> 00:04:45,829 And stay out! 63 00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:50,789 Wanted. Fairy tale creatures. 64 00:04:56,219 --> 00:04:58,679 All right. This one's full. 65 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,389 Take it away! 66 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:05,349 - Move it along. Come on! Get up! - Next! 67 00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:08,349 Give me that! Your flying days are over. 68 00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:11,059 That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! 69 00:05:11,149 --> 00:05:13,859 - Get up! Come on! - Twenty pieces. 70 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,319 Sit down there! 71 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,909 Keep quiet! 72 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:21,869 This cage is too small. 73 00:05:21,949 --> 00:05:24,069 Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. 74 00:05:24,119 --> 00:05:26,119 I can change. Please! Give me another chance! 75 00:05:26,199 --> 00:05:28,579 - Oh, shut up. Oh! - Next! 76 00:05:28,669 --> 00:05:31,539 - What have you got? - This little wooden puppet. 77 00:05:31,629 --> 00:05:36,549 I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. 78 00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:39,009 Five shillings for the possessed toy. 79 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,179 - Take it away. - Father, please! Don't let them do this! 80 00:05:41,259 --> 00:05:43,179 - Help me! - Next. What have you got? 81 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,889 Well, I've got a talking donkey. 82 00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:50,519 Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. 83 00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:54,519 Oh, go ahead, little fella. 84 00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,529 Well? 85 00:05:56,609 --> 00:05:59,319 Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. 86 00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:03,369 He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you bone headed dolt... 87 00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:06,039 - That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! - No, no, he talks! 88 00:06:06,119 --> 00:06:10,249 He does. I can talk. I love to talk. 89 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:13,249 I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. 90 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,879 - Get her out of my sight. - No, no! 91 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:20,379 I swear! Oh! He can talk! 92 00:06:22,719 --> 00:06:25,099 Hey! I can fly! 93 00:06:25,179 --> 00:06:26,809 - He can fly! - He can fly! 94 00:06:26,889 --> 00:06:29,939 - He can talk! - Ha, ha! That's right, fool! 95 00:06:30,019 --> 00:06:32,269 Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. 96 00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:34,979 You might have seen a house fly, maybe even a super fly, 97 00:06:35,069 --> 00:06:38,109 but I bet you are not never seen a donkey fly. 98 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,109 Ha, ha! 99 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,109 Uh-oh. 100 00:06:44,489 --> 00:06:46,449 Seize him! 101 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:51,249 After him! He's getting away! 102 00:06:59,089 --> 00:07:02,299 Get him! This way! Turn! 103 00:07:07,509 --> 00:07:09,809 You there. Ogre! 104 00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,189 Aye? 105 00:07:12,269 --> 00:07:14,302 By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am 106 00:07:14,315 --> 00:07:16,359 authorized to place you both under arrest... 107 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:22,029 and transport you to a designated... resettlement facility. 108 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:26,159 Oh, really? You and what army? 109 00:07:36,919 --> 00:07:38,919 Can I say something to you? 110 00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:42,339 Listen, you was really, really something back there. Incredible! 111 00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:48,179 Are you talking to... me? Whoa! 112 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,232 Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you 113 00:07:50,245 --> 00:07:52,229 that you was great back there? Those guards! 114 00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:55,019 They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! 115 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,059 They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. 116 00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:59,069 That really made me feel good to see that. 117 00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:02,189 - Oh, that's great. Really. - Man, it's good to be free. 118 00:08:02,279 --> 00:08:07,819 Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? 119 00:08:07,909 --> 00:08:11,199 But, uh, I don't have any friends. 120 00:08:11,289 --> 00:08:13,959 And I'm not going out there by myself. 121 00:08:14,039 --> 00:08:16,579 Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. 122 00:08:16,669 --> 00:08:18,589 You're a mean, green, fighting machine. 123 00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:21,069 Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. 124 00:08:25,259 --> 00:08:27,929 Oh, wow! That was really scary. 125 00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:29,852 If you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, 126 00:08:29,865 --> 00:08:31,719 your breath certainly will get the job done, 127 00:08:31,809 --> 00:08:35,018 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! 128 00:08:35,019 --> 00:08:38,229 You almost burned the hair outta my nose, 129 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,149 just like the time... 130 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,949 Then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. 131 00:08:45,029 --> 00:08:47,739 Why are you following me? 132 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:51,409 I'll tell you why. 133 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,409 'Cause I'm all alone. 134 00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:58,249 There's no one here beside me. 135 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,999 My problems have all gone. 136 00:09:02,089 --> 00:09:05,419 There's no one to deride me. 137 00:09:05,509 --> 00:09:07,469 But you gotta have friends... 138 00:09:07,549 --> 00:09:10,599 Stop singing! 139 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,719 It's no wonder you don't have any friends. 140 00:09:12,809 --> 00:09:16,429 Wow. Only a true friend would be that truly honest. 141 00:09:16,519 --> 00:09:20,609 Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? 142 00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:23,609 Uh... 143 00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:28,739 - Really tall? - No! I'm an ogre. 144 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:32,029 You know. Grab your torch and pitchforks. 145 00:09:32,119 --> 00:09:34,119 Doesn't that bother you? 146 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,329 Nope. 147 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,289 - Really? - Really, really. 148 00:09:39,369 --> 00:09:42,499 - Oh. - Man, I like you. What's your name? 149 00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:46,259 Uh, Shrek. 150 00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:49,589 Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? 151 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,687 You got that kind of. 152 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,719 I-don't-care-what-nobody... thinks-of-me thing. 153 00:09:53,809 --> 00:09:57,599 I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. 154 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:01,689 Wooh! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? 155 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,979 That would be my home. 156 00:10:05,069 --> 00:10:07,939 Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. 157 00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:11,819 You are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. 158 00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:16,659 I like that Boulder. That is a nice Boulder. 159 00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:23,129 I guess you don't entertain much, do you? 160 00:10:23,209 --> 00:10:24,999 I like my privacy. 161 00:10:25,089 --> 00:10:27,669 You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. 162 00:10:27,759 --> 00:10:30,009 Like, I hate it when you got somebody in your face. 163 00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,037 You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. 164 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,009 There's that awkward silence. 165 00:10:37,139 --> 00:10:39,849 - Can I stay with you? - Uh, what? 166 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,519 Can I stay with you, please? 167 00:10:42,599 --> 00:10:44,899 - Of course! - Really? 168 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:47,359 - No. - Please! I don't wanna go back there! 169 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:51,359 You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. 170 00:10:51,449 --> 00:10:54,029 But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! 171 00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:57,239 - Please! Please! - Okay! Okay! 172 00:10:57,329 --> 00:10:59,909 - But one night only. - Ah! Thank you! 173 00:10:59,999 --> 00:11:02,329 - What are you... No! No! - This is gonna be fun! 174 00:11:02,419 --> 00:11:04,329 We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, 175 00:11:04,419 --> 00:11:07,209 and in the morning I'm making waffles. 176 00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:10,549 - Oh! - Where do, uh, I sleep? 177 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,379 Outside! 178 00:11:12,469 --> 00:11:15,549 Oh, well, I guess that's cool. 179 00:11:15,639 --> 00:11:17,719 I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, 180 00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:20,179 so I guess outside is best, you know. 181 00:11:20,269 --> 00:11:23,269 Here I go. 182 00:11:25,439 --> 00:11:29,529 Good night. 183 00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:31,597 I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. 184 00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:33,609 I was born outside. 185 00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:36,369 I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. 186 00:11:36,449 --> 00:11:38,739 By myself, outside. 187 00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:43,619 I'm all alone There's no one here beside me. 188 00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:50,519 I thought I told you to stay outside. 189 00:12:50,609 --> 00:12:54,279 I am outside. 190 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,579 Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? 191 00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:06,159 It's not home, but it'll do just fine. 192 00:13:06,249 --> 00:13:08,169 What a lovely bed. 193 00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:10,589 - Got ya. - I found some cheese. 194 00:13:10,669 --> 00:13:13,169 - Ow! - Blah! Awful stuff. 195 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,509 - Is that you, Gorder? - How did you know? 196 00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:20,509 Enough! What are you doing in my house? 197 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,509 Hey! 198 00:13:22,599 --> 00:13:25,229 Oh, no, no, no. 199 00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:27,092 Dead broad off the table. 200 00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:28,899 Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. 201 00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:32,149 Huh? 202 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,859 What? 203 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:39,699 I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! 204 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:42,409 What do I have to do to get a little privacy? 205 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,909 - Aah! - Oh, no. 206 00:13:44,999 --> 00:13:47,709 Oh, no. 207 00:13:47,789 --> 00:13:51,379 No! No! 208 00:13:51,459 --> 00:13:54,379 What? 209 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,379 - Quit it. - Don't push. 210 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:03,719 What are you doing in my swamp? 211 00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:06,219 Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! 212 00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:09,519 Oh, dear! 213 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,229 Whoa! 214 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:14,689 All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! 215 00:14:14,769 --> 00:14:17,189 Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! 216 00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:19,239 - Quickly. Come on! - No, no! 217 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:21,529 No, no. Not there. Not there. 218 00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:25,119 Oh! 219 00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:28,079 Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. 220 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:30,249 Oh, gosh, no one invited us. 221 00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:32,919 - What? - We were forced to come here. 222 00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:35,129 - By who? - Lord Farquaad. 223 00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:39,969 He huffed und he puffed und he... signed an eviction notice. 224 00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:42,759 All right. 225 00:14:42,839 --> 00:14:47,099 Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? 226 00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,979 Oh, I do. I know where he is. 227 00:14:50,059 --> 00:14:53,769 Does anyone else know where to find him? 228 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,479 - Any one at all? - Me! Me! 229 00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,489 - Anyone? - Oh! Oh, pick me! 230 00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:01,989 Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! 231 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:05,199 Okay, fine. 232 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:09,829 Attention, all fairy tale things. 233 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:14,629 Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. 234 00:15:14,709 --> 00:15:18,419 In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... 235 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:21,629 and get you all off my land and back where you came from! 236 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:32,139 Oh! You! 237 00:15:32,229 --> 00:15:34,149 You're coming with me. 238 00:15:34,229 --> 00:15:36,569 All right, that's what I like to hear, man. 239 00:15:36,649 --> 00:15:40,439 Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. 240 00:15:40,529 --> 00:15:42,529 I love it! 241 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,779 - On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek. - Hey. Oh, oh! 242 00:15:45,869 --> 00:15:47,829 I can't wait to get on the road again. 243 00:15:47,909 --> 00:15:49,829 What did I say about singing? 244 00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:51,829 - Can I whistle? - No. 245 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,709 - Can I hum it? - All right, hum it. 246 00:16:24,489 --> 00:16:27,529 That's enough. He's ready to talk. 247 00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,919 Run, run, run, as fast as you can. 248 00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:46,549 You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! 249 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:50,219 - You're a monster. - I'm not the monster here. You are. 250 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:54,559 You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. 251 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,559 Now, tell me! Where are the others? 252 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,189 Eat me! 253 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,189 I've tried to be fair to you creatures. 254 00:17:02,279 --> 00:17:05,779 Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll... 255 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,659 No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. 256 00:17:08,739 --> 00:17:10,739 All right then. Who's hiding them? 257 00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:16,159 Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? 258 00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:18,579 - The muffin man? - The muffin man. 259 00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:22,089 Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? 260 00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:25,589 Well, she's married to the muffin man. 261 00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,799 - The muffin man? - The muffin man! 262 00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,889 She's married to the muffin man. 263 00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:32,639 My Lord! We found it. 264 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,929 Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. 265 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:49,819 Oh! 266 00:17:49,909 --> 00:17:54,239 - Magic mirror... - Don't tell him anything! 267 00:17:54,329 --> 00:17:56,659 No! 268 00:17:56,749 --> 00:18:00,499 Evening. 269 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,459 Mirror, mirror, on the wall. 270 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,919 Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? 271 00:18:06,009 --> 00:18:08,589 Well, technically you're not a king. 272 00:18:08,679 --> 00:18:12,099 Uh, Thelonius. 273 00:18:12,179 --> 00:18:15,809 - You were saying? - What I mean is, you're not a king yet. 274 00:18:15,889 --> 00:18:19,479 But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. 275 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:22,559 Go on. 276 00:18:22,649 --> 00:18:26,279 So, just sit back and relax, my Lord, 277 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:30,659 because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. 278 00:18:30,739 --> 00:18:34,329 And here they are! 279 00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:39,369 Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway. 280 00:18:39,459 --> 00:18:41,709 She likes Sushi and hot tubbing anytime. 281 00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:45,249 Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. 282 00:18:45,339 --> 00:18:47,709 Please welcome Cinderella. 283 00:18:47,799 --> 00:18:51,839 Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. 284 00:18:51,929 --> 00:18:54,639 Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. 285 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:58,179 Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. 286 00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:02,019 Come on. Give it up for Snow White! 287 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,729 And last, but certainly not least, 288 00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:06,899 bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead... 289 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,529 from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! 290 00:19:09,609 --> 00:19:11,659 But don't let that cool you off. 291 00:19:11,739 --> 00:19:14,909 She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. 292 00:19:14,989 --> 00:19:19,039 Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! 293 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,579 So will it be bachelorette number one, 294 00:19:21,669 --> 00:19:25,169 bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? 295 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,419 - Two! Two! - Three! Three! 296 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,839 - Two! Two! - Three! 297 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:31,049 Three? One? Three? 298 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,179 Three! Pick number three, my Lord! 299 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:37,009 Okay, okay, uh, number three! 300 00:19:37,099 --> 00:19:41,849 Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. 301 00:19:41,939 --> 00:19:45,729 If you love pina coladas. 302 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:49,149 - And getting caught in the rain. - Princess Fiona. 303 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,399 - If you're not into yoga. - She's perfect. 304 00:19:51,489 --> 00:19:54,239 All I have to do is just find someone who can go... 305 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,579 But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. 306 00:19:56,659 --> 00:19:58,579 - I'll do it. - Yes, but after sunset... 307 00:19:58,659 --> 00:20:02,749 Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, 308 00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:06,999 and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! 309 00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:09,299 Captain, assemble your finest men. 310 00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:13,259 We're going to have a tournament. 311 00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:17,929 But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. 312 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:20,059 I told ya I'd find it. 313 00:20:20,139 --> 00:20:24,269 So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. 314 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,439 Uh-huh. That's the place. 315 00:20:26,519 --> 00:20:29,939 Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? 316 00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,159 Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. 317 00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:39,119 Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. 318 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:44,249 Hey, you! 319 00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:47,169 Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat ya. 320 00:20:47,249 --> 00:20:51,169 I just... I just... 321 00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,289 It's quiet. 322 00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:27,999 Too quiet. 323 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:34,709 - Where is everybody? - Hey, look at this! 324 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:51,519 Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town. 325 00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:55,029 Here we have some rules Let us lay them down. 326 00:21:55,109 --> 00:21:58,989 Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine. 327 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:02,699 DuLoc is a perfect place. 328 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:07,329 Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face. 329 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:10,999 DuLoc is, DuLoc is. 330 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:14,549 DuLoc is a perfect. 331 00:22:14,629 --> 00:22:18,049 Place. 332 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:26,019 Wow! Let's do that again! 333 00:22:26,099 --> 00:22:28,769 No. No. No, no, no! No. 334 00:22:31,189 --> 00:22:33,569 Brave knights. 335 00:22:33,649 --> 00:22:35,702 You are the best and brightest in all the land. 336 00:22:37,859 --> 00:22:40,279 Today one of you shall prove himself... 337 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,699 All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. 338 00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,699 Sorry about that. 339 00:22:44,779 --> 00:22:50,289 That champion shall have the honor... no, no... the privilege... 340 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:54,419 to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona... 341 00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:57,839 from the fiery keep oft he dragon. 342 00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:02,139 If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, 343 00:23:02,219 --> 00:23:05,389 the first runner-up will take his place... 344 00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:08,269 and so on and so forth. 345 00:23:08,349 --> 00:23:13,769 Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. 346 00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:21,319 Let the tournament begin! 347 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,949 Oh! 348 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:30,289 What is that? 349 00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:34,959 - It's hideous! - Ah, that's not very nice. 350 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,459 - It's just a donkey. - Huh? 351 00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:40,509 Indeed. Knights, new plan! 352 00:23:40,589 --> 00:23:45,299 The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him! 353 00:23:45,389 --> 00:23:49,309 - Get him! - Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. 354 00:23:49,389 --> 00:23:51,689 Go ahead! Get him! 355 00:23:51,769 --> 00:23:55,439 Can't we just settle this over a pint? 356 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:56,769 Kill the beast! 357 00:23:56,859 --> 00:24:01,319 No? All right then. 358 00:24:01,399 --> 00:24:03,489 Come on! 359 00:24:11,289 --> 00:24:15,709 I don't give a damn about my reputation. 360 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:19,799 - You're living in the past It's a new generation. - Damn! 361 00:24:19,879 --> 00:24:22,669 A girl can do what she wants to do. 362 00:24:22,759 --> 00:24:25,009 And that's what I'm gonna do. 363 00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:29,009 And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation. 364 00:24:29,099 --> 00:24:32,849 Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me. 365 00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:36,309 - Me, me, me. - Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! 366 00:24:36,399 --> 00:24:39,149 And I don't give a damn about my reputation. 367 00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:41,479 Never said I wanted to improve my station. 368 00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:44,069 Ah! 369 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,199 - And I'm always feeling good when I'm having fun. - Yeah! 370 00:24:46,279 --> 00:24:48,369 And I don't have to please no one. 371 00:24:48,449 --> 00:24:50,369 The chair! Give him the chair! 372 00:24:50,449 --> 00:24:53,079 And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation. 373 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:56,329 Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me. 374 00:24:56,419 --> 00:24:57,829 Me, me, me. 375 00:24:57,919 --> 00:25:00,589 Oh, no, no, no, no. 376 00:25:00,669 --> 00:25:04,339 Not me, not me. 377 00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:06,889 Not me. 378 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:15,229 Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! 379 00:25:15,309 --> 00:25:18,099 Thank you! Thank you very much! 380 00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:20,569 I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! 381 00:25:27,029 --> 00:25:28,989 Shall I give the order, sir? 382 00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:32,659 No, I have a better idea. 383 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:37,919 People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! 384 00:25:37,999 --> 00:25:41,879 - What? - Congratulations, ogre. 385 00:25:41,959 --> 00:25:46,299 You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. 386 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:50,759 Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. 387 00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:54,059 - Your swamp? - Yeah, my swamp! 388 00:25:54,139 --> 00:25:56,599 Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! 389 00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:59,269 Indeed. 390 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,439 All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal. 391 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:05,319 Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. 392 00:26:05,399 --> 00:26:08,109 Exactly the way it was? 393 00:26:08,199 --> 00:26:10,949 Down to the last slime-covered toad stool. 394 00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:14,289 - And the squatters? - As good as gone. 395 00:26:17,329 --> 00:26:21,289 What kind of quest? 396 00:26:21,629 --> 00:26:23,959 Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon... 397 00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:26,758 and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp... 398 00:26:26,759 --> 00:26:29,968 which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. 399 00:26:29,969 --> 00:26:32,127 Is that about right? 400 00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,309 Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. 401 00:26:34,389 --> 00:26:37,929 I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? 402 00:26:38,019 --> 00:26:39,939 Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, 403 00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,859 grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. 404 00:26:42,939 --> 00:26:44,859 Oh, I know what. 405 00:26:44,939 --> 00:26:47,149 Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village... 406 00:26:47,239 --> 00:26:49,359 and put their heads on a pike, 407 00:26:49,449 --> 00:26:53,069 gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. 408 00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:55,289 Does that sound good to you? 409 00:26:55,369 --> 00:26:57,999 Uh, no, not really, no. 410 00:26:58,079 --> 00:27:01,879 For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. 411 00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:04,709 - Example? - Example? 412 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:10,929 - Okay, um, ogres are like onions. - They stink? 413 00:27:11,009 --> 00:27:13,299 - Yes... No! - They make you cry? - No! 414 00:27:13,389 --> 00:27:16,809 You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hairs. 415 00:27:16,889 --> 00:27:18,889 No! Layers! 416 00:27:18,979 --> 00:27:21,309 Onions have layers. 417 00:27:21,389 --> 00:27:24,689 Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. 418 00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:27,189 You get it? We both have layers. 419 00:27:29,109 --> 00:27:32,699 Oh, you both have layers. Oh. 420 00:27:32,779 --> 00:27:36,159 You know, not everybody likes onions. 421 00:27:36,239 --> 00:27:38,869 Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. 422 00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:42,869 I don't care... what everyone likes. 423 00:27:42,959 --> 00:27:46,669 Ogres are not like cakes. 424 00:27:48,509 --> 00:27:51,879 You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. 425 00:27:51,969 --> 00:27:53,889 Have you ever met a person, you say, Let's get some parfait, 426 00:27:53,969 --> 00:27:55,889 they say, No, I don't like no parfait? 427 00:27:55,969 --> 00:27:58,719 - Parfaits are delicious. - No! 428 00:27:58,809 --> 00:28:01,559 You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! 429 00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:04,559 Ogres are like onions! End of story. 430 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:06,609 Bye-bye. See ya later. 431 00:28:10,439 --> 00:28:14,869 Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. 432 00:28:14,949 --> 00:28:17,159 You know, I think I preferred your humming. 433 00:28:17,239 --> 00:28:19,909 Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. 434 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:22,909 Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. 435 00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:33,219 I'm on my way from misery to happiness today. 436 00:28:33,299 --> 00:28:35,799 Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh 437 00:28:35,889 --> 00:28:41,349 I'm on my way from misery to happiness today. 438 00:28:41,429 --> 00:28:43,889 Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh. 439 00:28:43,979 --> 00:28:47,899 And everything that you receive up yonder. 440 00:28:47,979 --> 00:28:51,899 Is what you give to me the day I wander 441 00:28:51,989 --> 00:28:54,949 I'm on my way 442 00:28:56,029 --> 00:28:58,949 I'm on my way 443 00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:02,119 I'm on my way. 444 00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:04,659 Ooh! Shrek! Did you do that? 445 00:29:04,749 --> 00:29:08,539 You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open. 446 00:29:08,629 --> 00:29:12,339 Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. 447 00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:15,179 It's brimstone. 448 00:29:15,259 --> 00:29:18,429 - We must be getting close. - Yeah, right, brimstone. 449 00:29:18,509 --> 00:29:20,542 Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I 450 00:29:20,555 --> 00:29:22,599 know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. 451 00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:24,639 It didn't come off no stone neither. 452 00:29:42,659 --> 00:29:45,999 Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. 453 00:29:49,129 --> 00:29:53,839 Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers? 454 00:29:53,919 --> 00:29:55,839 Oh, aye. 455 00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:59,509 Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. 456 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:02,969 Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. 457 00:30:03,059 --> 00:30:05,087 Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. 458 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:07,139 You know what I mean. 459 00:30:07,229 --> 00:30:09,899 You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. 460 00:30:09,979 --> 00:30:12,262 I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on 461 00:30:12,275 --> 00:30:14,569 a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! 462 00:30:14,649 --> 00:30:18,699 Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? 463 00:30:18,779 --> 00:30:21,449 For emotional support, 464 00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:26,079 we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. 465 00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:28,079 - Really? - Really, really. 466 00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:31,379 - Okay, that makes me feel so much better. - Just keep moving. 467 00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:36,049 - And don't look down. - Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. 468 00:30:36,129 --> 00:30:39,509 Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. 469 00:30:39,589 --> 00:30:43,389 Shrek! I'm looking down! 470 00:30:43,469 --> 00:30:46,389 Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! 471 00:30:46,469 --> 00:30:50,019 - But you're already halfway. - But I know that half is safe! 472 00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:52,899 Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. 473 00:30:52,979 --> 00:30:55,399 - Shrek, no! Wait! - Just, Donkey... 474 00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:58,569 - Let's have a dance then, shall we? - Don't do that! 475 00:30:58,649 --> 00:31:02,529 Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? 476 00:31:02,619 --> 00:31:05,699 - Oh, this? - Yes, that! 477 00:31:05,789 --> 00:31:09,209 Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. 478 00:31:09,289 --> 00:31:11,579 No, Shrek! 479 00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:14,789 - No! Stop it! - You said do it! I'm doing it. 480 00:31:14,879 --> 00:31:19,129 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. 481 00:31:19,219 --> 00:31:21,719 Oh! 482 00:31:21,799 --> 00:31:25,809 That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. 483 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:31,439 Cool. 484 00:31:31,519 --> 00:31:34,269 So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? 485 00:31:34,359 --> 00:31:38,109 Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. 486 00:31:38,189 --> 00:31:41,109 I was talking about the dragon, Shrek. 487 00:31:56,589 --> 00:31:58,509 You afraid? 488 00:31:58,589 --> 00:32:01,879 No, but... Shh. 489 00:32:01,969 --> 00:32:05,509 Oh, good. Me neither. 490 00:32:05,599 --> 00:32:08,969 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. 491 00:32:09,059 --> 00:32:12,309 Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. 492 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:14,439 Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. 493 00:32:14,519 --> 00:32:17,228 With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, 494 00:32:17,229 --> 00:32:20,689 it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. 495 00:32:20,779 --> 00:32:24,779 I sure as heck am not a coward. I know that. 496 00:32:24,869 --> 00:32:28,199 Donkey, two things, okay? 497 00:32:28,289 --> 00:32:30,829 Shut... up. 498 00:32:30,909 --> 00:32:33,669 Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. 499 00:32:33,749 --> 00:32:36,379 Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess. 500 00:32:36,459 --> 00:32:41,339 The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. 501 00:32:41,419 --> 00:32:45,009 - What makes you think she'll be there? - I read it in a book once. 502 00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:49,009 Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. 503 00:32:49,099 --> 00:32:52,139 I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. 504 00:32:52,229 --> 00:32:54,189 Those stairs won't know which way they're going. 505 00:32:58,689 --> 00:33:00,649 I'm gonna take drastic steps. 506 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:03,529 Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. 507 00:33:03,609 --> 00:33:08,199 I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. 508 00:33:11,159 --> 00:33:14,709 Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the... 509 00:33:14,789 --> 00:33:19,039 Dragon! 510 00:33:32,639 --> 00:33:34,889 Donkey, look out! 511 00:33:46,529 --> 00:33:48,529 Got ya! 512 00:33:51,789 --> 00:33:57,039 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 513 00:34:11,009 --> 00:34:15,639 Oh! Aah! Aah! 514 00:34:24,319 --> 00:34:27,739 No. Oh, no. No! 515 00:34:27,819 --> 00:34:31,449 Oh, what large teeth you have. 516 00:34:31,529 --> 00:34:33,437 I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you 517 00:34:33,450 --> 00:34:35,369 probably hear this all the time from your food, 518 00:34:35,449 --> 00:34:39,579 but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. 519 00:34:39,669 --> 00:34:42,169 Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? 520 00:34:42,249 --> 00:34:47,009 And you know what else? You're... You're a girl dragon! 521 00:34:47,089 --> 00:34:51,599 Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. 522 00:34:51,679 --> 00:34:55,469 You're just reeking of feminine beauty. 523 00:34:55,559 --> 00:34:57,889 What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? 524 00:34:57,979 --> 00:35:00,809 Ooh. Oh. Oh. 525 00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:03,398 Man, I'd really love to stay, but, you know, I'm, uh... 526 00:35:03,399 --> 00:35:07,359 I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. 527 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,359 Shrek! 528 00:35:09,449 --> 00:35:13,159 No! Shrek! Shrek! 529 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,159 Shrek! 530 00:35:46,439 --> 00:35:47,859 Oh! Oh! 531 00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:49,859 - Wake up! - What? 532 00:35:49,949 --> 00:35:51,569 Are you Princess Fiona? 533 00:35:51,659 --> 00:35:56,989 I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. 534 00:35:57,079 --> 00:35:59,079 Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! 535 00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:01,159 But wait, Sir Knight. 536 00:36:01,249 --> 00:36:03,539 This be-ith our first meeting. 537 00:36:03,629 --> 00:36:07,339 Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? 538 00:36:07,419 --> 00:36:11,759 - Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. - Hey, wait. What are you doing? 539 00:36:11,839 --> 00:36:13,929 You should sweep me off my feet... 540 00:36:14,009 --> 00:36:17,389 out yonder window and down a rope on to your Valiant steed. 541 00:36:17,469 --> 00:36:20,269 You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? 542 00:36:20,349 --> 00:36:24,599 Mm-hmm. 543 00:36:24,689 --> 00:36:27,569 But we have to savor this moment! 544 00:36:27,649 --> 00:36:30,399 You could recite an epic poem for me. 545 00:36:30,489 --> 00:36:32,949 A ballad? A sonnet! 546 00:36:33,029 --> 00:36:36,279 - A Limerick? Or something! - I don't think so. 547 00:36:36,369 --> 00:36:40,789 Can I at least know the name of my champion? 548 00:36:40,869 --> 00:36:42,789 Um, Shrek. 549 00:36:42,869 --> 00:36:46,589 Sir Shrek. 550 00:36:46,669 --> 00:36:51,419 I pray that you take this favour as a token of my gratitude. 551 00:36:52,549 --> 00:36:54,549 Thanks! 552 00:36:58,559 --> 00:37:00,389 You didn't slay the dragon? 553 00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:02,929 It's on my to-do list. Now come on! 554 00:37:03,019 --> 00:37:05,599 But this isn't right! 555 00:37:05,689 --> 00:37:07,939 You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. 556 00:37:08,019 --> 00:37:10,109 That's what all the other knights did. 557 00:37:10,189 --> 00:37:12,489 Yeah, right before they burst into flame. 558 00:37:12,569 --> 00:37:16,109 That's not the point. Oh! 559 00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:18,659 Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there. 560 00:37:18,739 --> 00:37:20,789 Well, I have to save my ass. 561 00:37:20,869 --> 00:37:24,079 What kind of knight are you? 562 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,579 One of a kind. 563 00:37:26,669 --> 00:37:29,039 Slowdown. Slowdown, baby, please. 564 00:37:29,129 --> 00:37:33,339 I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. 565 00:37:33,419 --> 00:37:36,009 Just call me old-fashioned. 566 00:37:36,089 --> 00:37:39,599 I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. 567 00:37:39,679 --> 00:37:43,139 I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this... 568 00:37:43,229 --> 00:37:45,519 Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. 569 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:49,109 Magnitude... Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. 570 00:37:49,189 --> 00:37:51,649 Hey, what are you doing? 571 00:37:51,729 --> 00:37:54,989 Okay, okay. Let's just backup a little and take this one step a ta time. 572 00:37:55,069 --> 00:37:59,199 We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. 573 00:37:59,279 --> 00:38:03,499 I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards... 574 00:38:03,579 --> 00:38:05,999 I'd really love to stay, but... 575 00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:08,669 Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. 576 00:38:08,749 --> 00:38:10,447 You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission... 577 00:38:10,460 --> 00:38:12,169 What are you gonna do with that? 578 00:38:12,249 --> 00:38:16,049 Hey, now. No way. No! No! 579 00:38:16,129 --> 00:38:18,889 No, no! No. No, no, no! No! Oh! 580 00:38:45,749 --> 00:38:47,709 - Hi, Princess! - It talks! 581 00:38:47,789 --> 00:38:51,539 Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. 582 00:38:56,799 --> 00:38:58,429 Oh! 583 00:39:27,119 --> 00:39:29,039 Okay, you two, head for the exit! 584 00:39:30,169 --> 00:39:32,709 I'll take care of the dragon. 585 00:39:39,299 --> 00:39:44,719 Run! 586 00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:30,979 You did it! 587 00:40:31,059 --> 00:40:33,939 You rescued me! You're amazing. You're... 588 00:40:34,019 --> 00:40:37,769 You're wonderful. You're... 589 00:40:37,859 --> 00:40:40,149 a little unorthodox I'll admit. 590 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:45,159 But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. 591 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:49,039 I am eternally in your debt. 592 00:40:49,119 --> 00:40:53,459 And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? 593 00:40:53,539 --> 00:40:55,862 I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. 594 00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:58,209 She think I'm a steed. 595 00:40:58,299 --> 00:41:01,459 The battle is won. 596 00:41:01,549 --> 00:41:04,049 You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. 597 00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,719 - Uh, no. - Why not? 598 00:41:06,799 --> 00:41:09,009 I have helmet hair. 599 00:41:09,099 --> 00:41:12,309 Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. 600 00:41:12,389 --> 00:41:14,979 No, no, you wouldn't... 'St. 601 00:41:15,059 --> 00:41:17,519 But how will you kiss me? 602 00:41:17,609 --> 00:41:21,359 What? That wasn't in the job description. 603 00:41:21,439 --> 00:41:23,819 Maybe it's a perk. 604 00:41:23,899 --> 00:41:28,329 No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. 605 00:41:28,409 --> 00:41:32,199 A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon... 606 00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:35,209 is rescued by a brave knight, 607 00:41:35,289 --> 00:41:38,589 and then they share true love's first kiss. 608 00:41:38,669 --> 00:41:40,749 Hmm? With Shrek? You think... Wait. 609 00:41:40,839 --> 00:41:44,009 Wait. You think that Shrek is your true love? 610 00:41:44,089 --> 00:41:46,089 Well, yes. 611 00:41:50,139 --> 00:41:52,599 You think Shrek is your true love! 612 00:41:52,679 --> 00:41:54,599 What is so funny? 613 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,769 Let's just say I'm not your type, okay? 614 00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:01,359 Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. 615 00:42:01,439 --> 00:42:03,899 Now... Now remove your helmet. 616 00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:06,199 Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. 617 00:42:06,279 --> 00:42:08,279 - Just take off the helmet. - I'm not going to. 618 00:42:08,369 --> 00:42:09,529 - Take it off. - No! 619 00:42:09,619 --> 00:42:11,699 - Now! - Okay! 620 00:42:11,789 --> 00:42:16,289 Easy. As you command, Your Highness. 621 00:42:26,339 --> 00:42:29,759 You... You're a... an ogre. 622 00:42:29,849 --> 00:42:33,769 Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. 623 00:42:33,849 --> 00:42:36,349 Well, yes, actually. 624 00:42:38,269 --> 00:42:41,519 Oh, no. This is all wrong. 625 00:42:41,609 --> 00:42:43,899 You're not supposed to be an ogre. 626 00:42:43,979 --> 00:42:49,239 Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? 627 00:42:49,319 --> 00:42:51,239 He's the one who wants to marry you. 628 00:42:51,319 --> 00:42:53,239 Then why didn't he come rescue me? 629 00:42:53,329 --> 00:42:57,659 Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. 630 00:42:57,749 --> 00:43:00,789 But I have to be rescued by my true love, 631 00:43:00,879 --> 00:43:03,629 not by some ogre and his... his pet. 632 00:43:03,709 --> 00:43:05,759 So much for noble steed. 633 00:43:05,839 --> 00:43:08,469 You're not making my job any easier. 634 00:43:08,549 --> 00:43:11,929 I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. 635 00:43:12,009 --> 00:43:17,269 You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, 636 00:43:17,349 --> 00:43:19,689 I'll be waiting for him right here. 637 00:43:19,769 --> 00:43:24,819 Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. 638 00:43:24,899 --> 00:43:27,149 You wouldn't dare. 639 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,239 - Put me down! - Ya coming, Donkey? 640 00:43:29,319 --> 00:43:31,279 I'm right behind ya. 641 00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:34,949 Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! 642 00:43:35,039 --> 00:43:39,539 This is not dignified! Put me down! 643 00:43:39,619 --> 00:43:42,499 Okay, so here's another question. 644 00:43:42,579 --> 00:43:45,629 Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. 645 00:43:45,709 --> 00:43:48,168 How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, 646 00:43:48,169 --> 00:43:50,679 but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? 647 00:43:50,759 --> 00:43:53,509 You just tell her she's not your true love. 648 00:43:53,599 --> 00:43:56,309 Everyone knowest what happens when you find your... 649 00:43:56,389 --> 00:43:58,979 Hey! 650 00:43:59,059 --> 00:44:01,349 The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. 651 00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:04,359 You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! 652 00:44:04,439 --> 00:44:08,189 And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? 653 00:44:08,279 --> 00:44:10,399 Let me put it this way, Princess. 654 00:44:10,489 --> 00:44:14,489 Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. 655 00:44:16,579 --> 00:44:20,659 I don't know. There are those who think little of him. 656 00:44:22,789 --> 00:44:25,669 Stop it. Stop it, both of you. 657 00:44:25,749 --> 00:44:30,719 You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. 658 00:44:30,799 --> 00:44:33,719 Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. 659 00:44:33,799 --> 00:44:37,099 But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow. 660 00:44:37,179 --> 00:44:41,389 Tomorrow? It'll take that long? 661 00:44:41,479 --> 00:44:46,189 - Shouldn't we stop to make camp? - No, that'll take longer. 662 00:44:46,269 --> 00:44:50,689 - We can keep going. - But there's robbers in the woods. 663 00:44:50,779 --> 00:44:54,109 Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping is starting to sound good. 664 00:44:54,199 --> 00:44:58,289 Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. 665 00:44:58,369 --> 00:45:00,749 I need to find somewhere to camp now! 666 00:45:07,629 --> 00:45:11,719 - Hey! Over here. - Shrek, we can do better than that. 667 00:45:11,799 --> 00:45:14,379 I don't think this is fit for a princess. 668 00:45:14,469 --> 00:45:17,259 No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. 669 00:45:17,349 --> 00:45:22,269 Homey touches? Like what? 670 00:45:22,349 --> 00:45:26,609 A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. 671 00:45:26,689 --> 00:45:29,069 You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. 672 00:45:29,149 --> 00:45:31,479 I said good night! 673 00:45:33,949 --> 00:45:35,909 Shrek, what are you doing? 674 00:45:35,989 --> 00:45:39,029 I just... You know... Oh, come on. 675 00:45:39,119 --> 00:45:41,749 I was just kidding. 676 00:45:47,039 --> 00:45:50,629 And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, 677 00:45:50,709 --> 00:45:54,129 the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. 678 00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:57,299 Right. Yeah. 679 00:45:57,389 --> 00:46:00,309 Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? 680 00:46:00,389 --> 00:46:03,979 The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. 681 00:46:04,059 --> 00:46:07,649 Look there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. 682 00:46:07,729 --> 00:46:11,359 - You can guess what he's famous for. - I know you're making this up. 683 00:46:11,439 --> 00:46:14,149 No, look. There he is, 684 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,319 and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. 685 00:46:17,409 --> 00:46:19,989 That is nothing but a bunch of little dots. 686 00:46:20,079 --> 00:46:23,999 Sometimes things are more than they appear. 687 00:46:24,079 --> 00:46:26,249 Hmm? 688 00:46:26,329 --> 00:46:28,379 Forget it. 689 00:46:31,209 --> 00:46:34,969 Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? 690 00:46:35,049 --> 00:46:36,839 Our swamp? 691 00:46:36,929 --> 00:46:39,009 You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. 692 00:46:39,089 --> 00:46:43,849 We? Donkey, there's no we. There's no our. 693 00:46:43,929 --> 00:46:46,179 There's just me and my swamp. 694 00:46:46,269 --> 00:46:50,519 The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. 695 00:46:50,609 --> 00:46:53,109 You cut me deep, Shrek. 696 00:46:53,189 --> 00:46:56,529 You cut me real deep just now. 697 00:46:56,609 --> 00:46:58,529 You know what I think? 698 00:46:58,609 --> 00:47:01,739 I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. 699 00:47:01,829 --> 00:47:05,999 - No, do ya think? - Are you hiding something? 700 00:47:06,079 --> 00:47:08,039 Never mind, Donkey. 701 00:47:08,119 --> 00:47:11,539 Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? 702 00:47:11,629 --> 00:47:15,209 No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things. 703 00:47:15,299 --> 00:47:19,049 - Why don't you want to talk about it? - Why do you want to? 704 00:47:19,129 --> 00:47:20,929 - Why are you blocking? - I'm not blocking. 705 00:47:21,009 --> 00:47:23,259 - Oh, yes, you are. - Donkey, I'm warning you. 706 00:47:23,349 --> 00:47:26,849 - Who you trying to keep out? - Everyone! Okay? 707 00:47:28,099 --> 00:47:30,559 Oh, now we're getting somewhere. 708 00:47:30,649 --> 00:47:33,939 Oh! For the love of Pete! 709 00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:36,439 What's your problem? What you got against the whole world? 710 00:47:36,529 --> 00:47:38,739 I'm not the one with the problem, okay? 711 00:47:38,819 --> 00:47:41,779 It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. 712 00:47:41,869 --> 00:47:45,739 People take one look at me and go, Aah! Help! Run! 713 00:47:45,829 --> 00:47:49,579 A big, stupid, ugly ogre! 714 00:47:49,659 --> 00:47:53,879 They judge me before they even know me. 715 00:47:53,959 --> 00:47:55,879 That's why I'm better off alone. 716 00:48:03,799 --> 00:48:06,009 You know what? 717 00:48:06,099 --> 00:48:11,769 When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. 718 00:48:11,849 --> 00:48:14,769 Yeah, I know. 719 00:48:14,859 --> 00:48:18,279 So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? 720 00:48:18,359 --> 00:48:21,739 Well, there's, um, Gabby, 721 00:48:21,819 --> 00:48:24,119 the Small and Annoying. 722 00:48:24,199 --> 00:48:29,119 Okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? 723 00:48:29,199 --> 00:48:32,369 - That's the moon. - Oh, okay. 724 00:48:53,729 --> 00:48:56,149 Again. Show me again. 725 00:49:00,609 --> 00:49:04,699 Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. 726 00:49:04,779 --> 00:49:08,829 Hmph. 727 00:49:08,909 --> 00:49:13,709 Ah. Perfect. 728 00:50:17,019 --> 00:50:19,899 Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. 729 00:50:19,979 --> 00:50:24,239 - Come on, baby. I said I like it. - Donkey, wake up. 730 00:50:24,319 --> 00:50:26,859 - Huh? What? - Wake up. 731 00:50:26,949 --> 00:50:28,909 - What? - Good morning. 732 00:50:28,989 --> 00:50:32,239 How do you like your eggs? 733 00:50:32,329 --> 00:50:36,289 - Good morning, Princess! - What's all this about? 734 00:50:36,369 --> 00:50:40,339 We kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. 735 00:50:40,419 --> 00:50:42,419 I wanted to make it up to you. 736 00:50:42,499 --> 00:50:47,049 After all, you did rescue me. 737 00:50:47,129 --> 00:50:50,139 Uh, thanks. 738 00:50:50,219 --> 00:50:54,019 Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. 739 00:50:58,479 --> 00:51:00,439 Shrek! 740 00:51:00,519 --> 00:51:02,399 What? It's a compliment. 741 00:51:02,479 --> 00:51:05,439 Better out than in, I always say. 742 00:51:05,529 --> 00:51:09,279 Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. 743 00:51:09,359 --> 00:51:11,989 - Thanks. - She's as nasty as you are. 744 00:51:12,079 --> 00:51:16,909 You know, you're not exactly what I expected. 745 00:51:16,999 --> 00:51:22,089 Maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. 746 00:51:24,879 --> 00:51:27,169 La Liberte! Hey! 747 00:51:27,259 --> 00:51:29,179 Princess! 748 00:51:29,259 --> 00:51:31,929 What are you doing? 749 00:51:32,009 --> 00:51:34,929 Be still, Mon Cherie, for I am your savior! 750 00:51:35,019 --> 00:51:39,479 And I am rescuing you from this green... 751 00:51:39,559 --> 00:51:42,109 - Beast. - Hey! 752 00:51:42,189 --> 00:51:44,519 That's my princess! Go find your own! 753 00:51:44,609 --> 00:51:49,649 Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? 754 00:51:49,739 --> 00:51:53,329 Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! 755 00:51:53,409 --> 00:51:55,989 Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. 756 00:51:56,079 --> 00:51:58,159 Please let me introduce myself. 757 00:51:58,249 --> 00:52:01,119 Oh, Merry Men! 758 00:52:05,249 --> 00:52:07,209 Ta, dah, dah, dah, wooh 759 00:52:07,299 --> 00:52:09,379 I steal from the rich and give to the needy. 760 00:52:09,469 --> 00:52:11,589 - He takes a wee percentage. - But I'm not greedy 761 00:52:11,679 --> 00:52:13,679 I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good. 762 00:52:13,759 --> 00:52:16,719 - What a guy, Monsieur Hood. - Break it down. 763 00:52:20,439 --> 00:52:22,689 I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid. 764 00:52:22,769 --> 00:52:25,050 - What he's basically saying is he likes to get... - Paid. 765 00:52:25,109 --> 00:52:27,689 - So. - When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. 766 00:52:27,779 --> 00:52:30,069 - That's bad. - That's bad. 767 00:52:30,149 --> 00:52:32,409 When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad. 768 00:52:32,489 --> 00:52:34,409 He's mad He's really, really mad 769 00:52:34,489 --> 00:52:36,448 I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart. 770 00:52:36,449 --> 00:52:41,039 Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start. 771 00:52:46,629 --> 00:52:49,259 Man, that was annoying! 772 00:52:49,339 --> 00:52:51,089 Oh, you little... 773 00:53:18,329 --> 00:53:21,409 Um, shall we? 774 00:53:22,749 --> 00:53:25,629 Ho ID the phone. 775 00:53:26,209 --> 00:53:29,169 Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. 776 00:53:29,249 --> 00:53:31,259 - Where did that come from? - What? 777 00:53:31,339 --> 00:53:34,219 That! Back there. That was amazing! 778 00:53:34,299 --> 00:53:36,219 Where did you learn that? 779 00:53:36,299 --> 00:53:39,429 Well... When one lives alone, 780 00:53:39,509 --> 00:53:42,269 uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a... 781 00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:44,979 - There's an arrow in your butt! - What? 782 00:53:45,059 --> 00:53:48,859 - Oh, would you look at that? - Oh, no. This is all my fault. 783 00:53:48,939 --> 00:53:50,859 - I'm so sorry. - Why? What's wrong? 784 00:53:50,939 --> 00:53:52,597 Shrek's hurt. 785 00:53:52,610 --> 00:53:54,279 Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. 786 00:53:54,359 --> 00:53:56,247 Donkey, I'm okay. 787 00:53:56,260 --> 00:53:58,159 You can't do this to me. I'm too young for you to die. 788 00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,369 Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. 789 00:54:00,449 --> 00:54:03,459 - Does anyone know the Heimlich? - Donkey! Calm down. 790 00:54:03,539 --> 00:54:05,842 If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods 791 00:54:05,855 --> 00:54:08,169 and find me a blue flower with red thorns. 792 00:54:08,249 --> 00:54:11,839 Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. 793 00:54:11,919 --> 00:54:15,379 Don't die, Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! 794 00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:18,639 - Donkey! - Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. 795 00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,009 - Blue flower, red thorns. - What are the flowers for? 796 00:54:21,099 --> 00:54:23,309 - For getting rid of Donkey. - Ah. 797 00:54:23,389 --> 00:54:25,769 Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. 798 00:54:25,849 --> 00:54:28,059 Ow! Hey! Easy with the yanking. 799 00:54:28,149 --> 00:54:30,769 - I'm sorry, but it has to come out. - No, it's tender. 800 00:54:30,859 --> 00:54:32,609 Now, hold on. 801 00:54:32,689 --> 00:54:33,722 What you're doing is the opposite of help. 802 00:54:33,735 --> 00:54:34,779 Don't move. 803 00:54:34,859 --> 00:54:37,529 - Look, time out. - Would you... 804 00:54:37,609 --> 00:54:42,079 Okay. What do you propose we do? 805 00:54:42,159 --> 00:54:43,502 Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 806 00:54:43,515 --> 00:54:44,869 Blue flower, red thorns. 807 00:54:44,959 --> 00:54:47,329 This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! 808 00:54:47,419 --> 00:54:49,499 - Blue flower, red thorns. - Ow! 809 00:54:49,579 --> 00:54:51,999 Ho ID on, Shrek! I'm coming! 810 00:54:53,509 --> 00:54:55,629 Ow! Not good. 811 00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,259 Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head. 812 00:54:58,339 --> 00:55:00,969 - It's just about... - Ow! Ohh! 813 00:55:02,809 --> 00:55:05,429 Ahem. 814 00:55:05,519 --> 00:55:08,899 Nothing happened. We were just, uh... 815 00:55:08,979 --> 00:55:11,689 Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. 816 00:55:11,769 --> 00:55:15,029 Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. 817 00:55:15,109 --> 00:55:18,779 The princess here was just... Ugh! 818 00:55:21,949 --> 00:55:24,659 - Ow! - Hey, what's that? 819 00:55:24,739 --> 00:55:27,579 That's... Is that blood? 820 00:55:43,889 --> 00:55:47,559 My beloved monster and me. 821 00:55:48,809 --> 00:55:53,319 We go everywhere together. 822 00:55:53,399 --> 00:55:58,109 Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves. 823 00:55:58,199 --> 00:56:02,819 - Gets us through all kinds of weather. - Aah! 824 00:56:02,909 --> 00:56:08,159 She will always be the only thing. 825 00:56:08,249 --> 00:56:12,749 That comes between me and the awful sting. 826 00:56:12,829 --> 00:56:17,919 That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean. 827 00:56:27,179 --> 00:56:31,309 Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh. 828 00:56:45,779 --> 00:56:47,739 Hey! 829 00:56:47,829 --> 00:56:51,999 La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la. 830 00:56:52,079 --> 00:56:56,129 La-la, la-la, la-la. 831 00:56:58,129 --> 00:57:00,049 There it is, Princess. 832 00:57:00,129 --> 00:57:02,469 Your future awaits you. 833 00:57:02,549 --> 00:57:04,799 - That's DuLoc? - Yeah, I know. 834 00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:07,559 You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, 835 00:57:07,639 --> 00:57:10,139 which I think means he has a really... Ow! 836 00:57:10,229 --> 00:57:12,139 Um, I, uh... 837 00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:14,649 - I guess we better move on. - Sure. 838 00:57:14,729 --> 00:57:16,819 But, Shrek? 839 00:57:16,899 --> 00:57:19,689 I'm... I'm worried about Donkey. 840 00:57:19,779 --> 00:57:22,149 - What? - I mean, look at him. 841 00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:25,239 - He doesn't look so good. - What are you talking about? I'm fine. 842 00:57:25,319 --> 00:57:30,329 That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. 843 00:57:30,409 --> 00:57:32,869 - Dead. - You know, she's right. 844 00:57:32,959 --> 00:57:35,829 You look awful. Do you want to sit down? 845 00:57:35,919 --> 00:57:38,629 - I'll make you some tea. - I didn't want to say nothing, 846 00:57:38,709 --> 00:57:41,459 but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. 847 00:57:41,549 --> 00:57:43,469 Ow! See? 848 00:57:43,549 --> 00:57:46,149 - Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. - I'll get the firewood. 849 00:57:46,219 --> 00:57:50,719 Hey, where you going? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! 850 00:57:50,809 --> 00:57:53,309 I don't have any toes! 851 00:57:53,389 --> 00:57:55,729 I think I need a hug. 852 00:57:59,269 --> 00:58:01,529 Mmm. 853 00:58:01,609 --> 00:58:05,569 Mmm. This is good. This is really good. 854 00:58:07,779 --> 00:58:10,039 - What is this? - Uh, Weedrat. 855 00:58:10,119 --> 00:58:12,249 Rotisserie style. 856 00:58:12,329 --> 00:58:14,829 No kidding. 857 00:58:14,919 --> 00:58:16,829 Well, this is delicious. 858 00:58:16,919 --> 00:58:18,999 Well, they're also great in stews. 859 00:58:19,089 --> 00:58:23,339 Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean Weedrat stew. 860 00:58:27,049 --> 00:58:31,179 I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. 861 00:58:31,259 --> 00:58:36,349 Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. 862 00:58:36,439 --> 00:58:38,609 I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. 863 00:58:38,689 --> 00:58:42,569 Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartar... you name it. 864 00:58:42,649 --> 00:58:45,779 I'd like that. 865 00:58:52,699 --> 00:58:55,909 See the pyramids along the Nile. 866 00:58:55,999 --> 00:58:58,629 Um, Princess? 867 00:58:58,709 --> 00:59:02,959 - Watch the sun rise from a tropic isle. - Yes, Shrek? 868 00:59:03,049 --> 00:59:06,879 - I, um, I was wondering. - Just remember, darling all the while. 869 00:59:06,969 --> 00:59:09,219 Are you... 870 00:59:09,299 --> 00:59:11,889 You belong to me. 871 00:59:11,969 --> 00:59:14,769 Are you gonna eat that? 872 00:59:21,569 --> 00:59:25,649 - Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. - Sunset? 873 00:59:25,739 --> 00:59:28,279 Oh, no! I mean, it's late. 874 00:59:28,359 --> 00:59:30,239 - I-It's very late. - What? 875 00:59:30,319 --> 00:59:33,239 Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. 876 00:59:33,329 --> 00:59:36,289 - You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? - Yes! 877 00:59:36,369 --> 00:59:40,379 Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. 878 00:59:40,459 --> 00:59:43,799 Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until... 879 00:59:43,879 --> 00:59:46,629 Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. 880 00:59:46,719 --> 00:59:49,889 Good night. 881 00:59:49,969 --> 00:59:53,009 Good night. 882 00:59:53,099 --> 00:59:56,139 Ohh! 883 00:59:56,219 --> 00:59:58,979 Now I really see what's going on here. 884 00:59:59,059 --> 01:00:00,979 Oh, what are you talking about? 885 01:00:01,059 --> 01:00:03,819 I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. 886 01:00:03,899 --> 01:00:06,319 I know you two were digging on each other. I could feel it. 887 01:00:06,399 --> 01:00:09,239 You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. 888 01:00:09,319 --> 01:00:12,659 Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. 889 01:00:12,739 --> 01:00:15,409 - Just go on in and tell her how you feel. - I... 890 01:00:15,489 --> 01:00:19,499 There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, 891 01:00:19,579 --> 01:00:21,499 well, you know... 892 01:00:21,579 --> 01:00:25,089 and I'm not saying I do 'cause I don't... 893 01:00:25,169 --> 01:00:27,589 she's a princess, and I'm... 894 01:00:27,669 --> 01:00:30,339 An ogre? 895 01:00:30,429 --> 01:00:33,089 Yeah. An ogre. 896 01:00:33,179 --> 01:00:37,219 - Hey, where you going? - To get... more firewood. 897 01:00:56,829 --> 01:00:58,159 Princess? 898 01:00:58,249 --> 01:01:00,959 Princess Fiona? 899 01:01:05,209 --> 01:01:08,049 Princess, where are you? 900 01:01:13,299 --> 01:01:15,799 Princess? 901 01:01:18,889 --> 01:01:21,639 It's very spooky in here. I am not playing no games. 902 01:01:31,859 --> 01:01:34,279 - Aah! Oh, no! - No, help! 903 01:01:34,359 --> 01:01:37,449 - Shh! - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! - No, it's okay. It's okay. 904 01:01:37,529 --> 01:01:40,409 - What did you do with the princess? - Donkey, I'm the princess. 905 01:01:40,499 --> 01:01:43,249 - Aah! - It's me, in this body. 906 01:01:43,329 --> 01:01:45,879 Oh, my God! You ate the princess! 907 01:01:45,959 --> 01:01:47,879 - Can you hear me? - Donkey! 908 01:01:47,959 --> 01:01:50,299 - Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! - No! 909 01:01:50,379 --> 01:01:52,839 - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! - Shh. 910 01:01:52,919 --> 01:01:54,759 - Shrek! - This is me. 911 01:01:59,889 --> 01:02:02,769 Princess? 912 01:02:02,849 --> 01:02:06,349 What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, 913 01:02:06,439 --> 01:02:08,359 uh, different. 914 01:02:08,439 --> 01:02:10,689 - I'm ugly, okay? - Well, yeah! 915 01:02:10,779 --> 01:02:13,899 Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. 916 01:02:13,989 --> 01:02:16,529 - You are what you eat, I said. Now... - No. 917 01:02:16,619 --> 01:02:19,949 I... I've been this way as long as I can remember. 918 01:02:20,039 --> 01:02:22,499 What do you mean? Look, I am not never seen you like this before. 919 01:02:22,579 --> 01:02:25,749 It only happens when the sun goes down. 920 01:02:27,169 --> 01:02:30,799 By night one way, by day another. 921 01:02:30,879 --> 01:02:32,919 This shall be the norm... 922 01:02:33,009 --> 01:02:36,129 until you find true love's first kiss... 923 01:02:36,219 --> 01:02:40,639 and then take love's true form. 924 01:02:40,719 --> 01:02:44,269 Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. 925 01:02:44,349 --> 01:02:46,269 It's a spell. 926 01:02:46,349 --> 01:02:48,939 When I was a little girl, 927 01:02:49,019 --> 01:02:51,689 a witch cast a spell on me. 928 01:02:51,779 --> 01:02:54,319 Every night I become this. 929 01:02:54,399 --> 01:02:58,069 This horrible, ugly beast! 930 01:03:00,579 --> 01:03:05,619 I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. 931 01:03:05,709 --> 01:03:08,289 That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow... 932 01:03:08,379 --> 01:03:11,799 before the sun sets and he sees me... 933 01:03:13,049 --> 01:03:16,009 like this. 934 01:03:16,089 --> 01:03:19,339 All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. 935 01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:23,599 You're not that ugly. Well, I am not gonna lie. You are ugly. 936 01:03:23,679 --> 01:03:26,689 But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. 937 01:03:26,769 --> 01:03:30,149 But, Donkey, I'm a princess, 938 01:03:30,229 --> 01:03:33,819 and this is not how a princess is meant to look. 939 01:03:33,899 --> 01:03:37,649 Princess, how about if you don't marry Farquaad? 940 01:03:37,739 --> 01:03:39,659 I have to. 941 01:03:39,739 --> 01:03:42,579 Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. 942 01:03:42,659 --> 01:03:46,199 But, you know, um, you're kind of an ogre, 943 01:03:46,289 --> 01:03:49,709 and Shrek... well, you got a lot in common. 944 01:03:49,789 --> 01:03:51,289 Shrek? 945 01:03:51,379 --> 01:03:55,209 Princess, I... Uh, how's it going, first of all? 946 01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:58,089 Good? Um, good for me too. 947 01:03:58,179 --> 01:04:00,089 I'm okay. 948 01:04:00,179 --> 01:04:05,059 I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and... 949 01:04:05,139 --> 01:04:09,389 well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. 950 01:04:09,479 --> 01:04:12,689 But I like you anyway. I'd... uh, uh... 951 01:04:14,859 --> 01:04:18,399 I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. 952 01:04:18,489 --> 01:04:20,989 I can't just marry whoever I want. 953 01:04:21,069 --> 01:04:23,369 Take a good look at me, Donkey. 954 01:04:23,449 --> 01:04:25,369 I mean, really, 955 01:04:25,449 --> 01:04:28,119 who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? 956 01:04:28,209 --> 01:04:30,619 Princess and ugly don't go together. 957 01:04:30,709 --> 01:04:33,129 That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. 958 01:04:33,209 --> 01:04:37,629 My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my truelove. 959 01:04:37,709 --> 01:04:41,129 Don't you see, Donkey? 960 01:04:41,219 --> 01:04:44,509 That's just how it has to be. 961 01:04:44,599 --> 01:04:47,639 It's the only way to break the spell. 962 01:04:47,719 --> 01:04:50,479 - You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. - No! 963 01:04:50,559 --> 01:04:53,479 You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. 964 01:04:53,559 --> 01:04:55,689 What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? 965 01:04:55,769 --> 01:04:58,899 Promise you won't tell. Promise! 966 01:04:58,989 --> 01:05:02,069 All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. 967 01:05:02,159 --> 01:05:05,159 I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. 968 01:05:05,239 --> 01:05:08,789 Look at my eye twitching. 969 01:05:31,479 --> 01:05:35,229 I tell him, I tell him not. 970 01:05:35,689 --> 01:05:39,689 I tell him, I tell him not. 971 01:05:39,779 --> 01:05:41,699 I tell him. 972 01:05:41,779 --> 01:05:43,859 Shrek! 973 01:05:43,949 --> 01:05:46,489 Shrek, there's something I want... 974 01:06:07,299 --> 01:06:09,509 Shrek. 975 01:06:10,929 --> 01:06:12,979 - Are you all right? - Perfect! 976 01:06:13,059 --> 01:06:15,019 Never been better. 977 01:06:15,099 --> 01:06:18,399 I... I don't... There's something I have to tell you. 978 01:06:18,479 --> 01:06:21,029 You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. 979 01:06:21,109 --> 01:06:23,199 - I heard enough last night. - You heard what I said? 980 01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:25,199 Every word. 981 01:06:25,279 --> 01:06:27,449 I thought you'd understand. 982 01:06:27,529 --> 01:06:29,449 Oh, I understand. 983 01:06:29,529 --> 01:06:33,119 Like you said, Who could love a hideous, ugly beast? 984 01:06:33,209 --> 01:06:35,869 But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. 985 01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:37,709 Yeah? Well, it does. 986 01:06:40,299 --> 01:06:42,509 Ah, right on time. 987 01:06:42,589 --> 01:06:45,469 Princess, I've brought you a little something. 988 01:06:49,889 --> 01:06:53,559 What'd I miss? What'd I miss? 989 01:06:53,639 --> 01:06:56,269 Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey. 990 01:06:57,649 --> 01:07:00,109 Princess Fiona. 991 01:07:00,189 --> 01:07:02,899 As promised. Now hand it over. 992 01:07:02,979 --> 01:07:07,239 Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. 993 01:07:07,319 --> 01:07:11,869 Take it and go before I change my mind. 994 01:07:11,949 --> 01:07:14,789 Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, 995 01:07:14,869 --> 01:07:16,789 but you startled me, 996 01:07:16,869 --> 01:07:20,539 for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. 997 01:07:20,629 --> 01:07:23,629 I am Lord Farquaad. 998 01:07:23,709 --> 01:07:27,589 Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. 999 01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:30,639 Forgive me, my Lord, for I was just saying... 1000 01:07:30,719 --> 01:07:36,179 a short... farewell. 1001 01:07:36,269 --> 01:07:40,899 That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. 1002 01:07:40,979 --> 01:07:42,899 It's not like it has feelings. 1003 01:07:42,979 --> 01:07:46,949 No, you're right. It doesn't. 1004 01:07:47,029 --> 01:07:51,029 Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. 1005 01:07:51,119 --> 01:07:54,119 I ask your hand in marriage. 1006 01:07:54,199 --> 01:07:59,249 Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? 1007 01:08:02,539 --> 01:08:07,719 Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... 1008 01:08:07,799 --> 01:08:10,969 Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! 1009 01:08:11,049 --> 01:08:12,969 No! I mean, uh, 1010 01:08:13,049 --> 01:08:15,429 why wait? 1011 01:08:15,519 --> 01:08:19,349 Let's get married today before the sun sets. 1012 01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:22,149 Oh, anxious, are we? You're right. 1013 01:08:22,229 --> 01:08:26,149 The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! 1014 01:08:26,229 --> 01:08:28,569 There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. 1015 01:08:28,649 --> 01:08:31,659 Captain, round up some guests! 1016 01:08:31,739 --> 01:08:34,449 Fare-thee-well, ogre. 1017 01:08:34,529 --> 01:08:37,119 Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. 1018 01:08:37,199 --> 01:08:38,548 Yeah? So what? 1019 01:08:38,561 --> 01:08:39,920 Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. 1020 01:08:39,999 --> 01:08:42,419 Look, I talked to her last night. She's... 1021 01:08:42,499 --> 01:08:46,549 I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? 1022 01:08:46,629 --> 01:08:50,379 Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? 1023 01:08:50,469 --> 01:08:52,429 Shrek, I... I wanna go with you. 1024 01:08:52,509 --> 01:08:55,469 I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. 1025 01:08:55,559 --> 01:08:59,519 I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! 1026 01:08:59,599 --> 01:09:01,689 Understand? Nobody! 1027 01:09:01,769 --> 01:09:06,609 Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! 1028 01:09:06,689 --> 01:09:09,859 - But I thought... - Yeah. You know what? 1029 01:09:09,949 --> 01:09:12,159 You thought wrong! 1030 01:09:13,909 --> 01:09:15,829 Shrek. 1031 01:09:21,619 --> 01:09:25,629 I heard there was a secret chord. 1032 01:09:25,709 --> 01:09:28,759 That David played and it pleased the Lord. 1033 01:09:28,839 --> 01:09:33,679 But you don't really care for music, do ya. 1034 01:09:35,429 --> 01:09:38,769 It goes like this the fourth, the fifth. 1035 01:09:38,849 --> 01:09:41,389 The minor fall the major lift. 1036 01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:48,109 The baffled king composing hallelujah. 1037 01:09:48,189 --> 01:09:51,439 Hallelujah. 1038 01:09:51,529 --> 01:09:54,949 Hallelujah. 1039 01:09:55,029 --> 01:09:58,949 Hallelujah. 1040 01:09:59,039 --> 01:10:03,789 Hallelujah. 1041 01:10:05,709 --> 01:10:09,209 Baby, I've been here before 1042 01:10:09,299 --> 01:10:12,419 I know this room I've walked this floor 1043 01:10:12,509 --> 01:10:17,599 I used to live alone before I knew you 1044 01:10:19,309 --> 01:10:22,389 I've seen your flag on the marble arch. 1045 01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:25,809 But love is not a victory march. 1046 01:10:25,899 --> 01:10:30,319 It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah. 1047 01:10:31,939 --> 01:10:35,069 Hallelujah. 1048 01:10:35,159 --> 01:10:38,279 Hallelujah. 1049 01:10:38,369 --> 01:10:41,409 Hallelujah. 1050 01:10:41,489 --> 01:10:42,169 Hallelujah. 1051 01:10:48,749 --> 01:10:52,589 And all I ever learned from love 1052 01:10:52,669 --> 01:10:55,049 I show to shoot at someone. 1053 01:10:55,129 --> 01:10:57,719 Who outdrew you. 1054 01:10:57,799 --> 01:11:01,519 And it's not a cry you can hear at night. 1055 01:11:01,599 --> 01:11:04,639 It's not somebody who's seen the light. 1056 01:11:04,729 --> 01:11:11,779 It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah. 1057 01:11:11,859 --> 01:11:14,649 Hallelujah. 1058 01:11:14,739 --> 01:11:17,989 Hallelujah. 1059 01:11:18,069 --> 01:11:21,329 Hallelujah. 1060 01:11:21,409 --> 01:11:22,089 Hallelujah. 1061 01:11:36,299 --> 01:11:38,299 Donkey? 1062 01:11:38,389 --> 01:11:40,599 What are you doing? 1063 01:11:40,679 --> 01:11:43,639 I would think, of all people, you would recognise a wall when you see one. 1064 01:11:43,719 --> 01:11:45,639 Well, yeah. 1065 01:11:45,729 --> 01:11:49,099 But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. 1066 01:11:49,189 --> 01:11:51,979 It is around your half. See, that's your half, and this is my half. 1067 01:11:52,069 --> 01:11:54,649 Oh! Your half. Hmm. 1068 01:11:54,729 --> 01:11:57,279 Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. 1069 01:11:57,359 --> 01:11:59,609 I did half the work, I get half the Booty. 1070 01:11:59,699 --> 01:12:03,029 Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. 1071 01:12:03,119 --> 01:12:05,449 - Back off! - No, you back off. 1072 01:12:05,539 --> 01:12:07,539 - This is my swamp! - Our swamp. 1073 01:12:07,619 --> 01:12:09,539 - Let go, Donkey! - You let go. 1074 01:12:09,619 --> 01:12:11,589 - Stubborn jackass! - Smelly ogre. 1075 01:12:11,669 --> 01:12:13,879 Fine! 1076 01:12:13,959 --> 01:12:15,617 Hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. 1077 01:12:15,630 --> 01:12:17,299 Well, I'm through with you. 1078 01:12:17,379 --> 01:12:20,639 Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, Me, me, me! 1079 01:12:20,719 --> 01:12:23,309 Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! 1080 01:12:23,389 --> 01:12:25,519 So you just shut up and pay attention! 1081 01:12:25,599 --> 01:12:27,559 You are mean to me. 1082 01:12:27,639 --> 01:12:30,149 You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! 1083 01:12:30,229 --> 01:12:33,319 You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. 1084 01:12:33,399 --> 01:12:37,239 Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? 1085 01:12:37,319 --> 01:12:40,529 Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! 1086 01:12:40,609 --> 01:12:43,829 Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. 1087 01:12:43,909 --> 01:12:48,119 I forgive you... for stabbing me in the back! 1088 01:12:48,209 --> 01:12:53,629 Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. 1089 01:12:53,709 --> 01:12:57,169 - Go away! - There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona. 1090 01:12:57,259 --> 01:12:59,839 All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. 1091 01:12:59,929 --> 01:13:04,049 Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. 1092 01:13:04,139 --> 01:13:06,059 I heard the two of you talking. 1093 01:13:06,139 --> 01:13:08,059 She wasn't talking about you. 1094 01:13:08,139 --> 01:13:10,479 She was talking about, uh, somebody else. 1095 01:13:13,019 --> 01:13:15,439 She wasn't talking about me? 1096 01:13:15,519 --> 01:13:17,819 Well, then who was she talking about? 1097 01:13:17,899 --> 01:13:20,698 Uh-uh, no way. I am not saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. 1098 01:13:20,699 --> 01:13:22,989 - Right? Right? - Donkey! 1099 01:13:23,069 --> 01:13:25,619 - No! - Okay, look. 1100 01:13:25,699 --> 01:13:27,619 I'm sorry, all right? 1101 01:13:29,249 --> 01:13:31,159 Hmph. 1102 01:13:32,499 --> 01:13:36,129 I'm sorry. 1103 01:13:36,209 --> 01:13:40,469 I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. 1104 01:13:41,679 --> 01:13:43,639 Can you forgive me? 1105 01:13:45,849 --> 01:13:47,759 Hey, that's what friends are for, right? 1106 01:13:47,849 --> 01:13:50,519 Right. Friends? 1107 01:13:50,599 --> 01:13:52,519 Friends. 1108 01:13:52,599 --> 01:13:55,559 So, um, 1109 01:13:55,649 --> 01:13:57,899 what did Fiona say about me? 1110 01:13:57,979 --> 01:14:01,109 What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? 1111 01:14:01,189 --> 01:14:04,199 The wedding! We'll never make it in time. 1112 01:14:04,279 --> 01:14:07,489 Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where there's a will, there's a way, 1113 01:14:07,579 --> 01:14:09,699 and I have a way. 1114 01:14:14,079 --> 01:14:16,539 Donkey? 1115 01:14:16,629 --> 01:14:18,999 I guess it's just my animal magnetism. 1116 01:14:19,089 --> 01:14:22,259 Aw, come here, you. 1117 01:14:22,339 --> 01:14:23,727 All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. 1118 01:14:23,740 --> 01:14:25,139 No one likes a kiss ass. 1119 01:14:25,219 --> 01:14:27,759 All right, hop on and hold on tight. 1120 01:14:27,849 --> 01:14:31,349 I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. 1121 01:14:37,769 --> 01:14:40,279 Wooh! 1122 01:15:03,009 --> 01:15:05,549 People of DuLoc, 1123 01:15:05,629 --> 01:15:08,299 we gather here today... 1124 01:15:08,389 --> 01:15:10,429 to bear witness... 1125 01:15:10,509 --> 01:15:12,429 - to the union... - Um... 1126 01:15:12,519 --> 01:15:14,979 - of our new king... - Excuse me. 1127 01:15:15,059 --> 01:15:17,729 Could we just skip ahead to the I do's? 1128 01:15:17,809 --> 01:15:19,729 Go on. 1129 01:15:24,779 --> 01:15:28,409 Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? 1130 01:15:31,029 --> 01:15:32,949 Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! 1131 01:15:33,039 --> 01:15:35,709 - You wanna do this right, don't you? - What are you talking about? 1132 01:15:35,789 --> 01:15:37,709 There's a line you gotta wait for. 1133 01:15:37,789 --> 01:15:40,289 The preacher's gonna say, Speak now or forever hold your peace. 1134 01:15:40,379 --> 01:15:44,129 - That's when you say, I object! - I don't have time for this! 1135 01:15:44,209 --> 01:15:45,919 Wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! 1136 01:15:46,009 --> 01:15:47,929 - Look, you love this woman, don't you? - Yes. 1137 01:15:48,009 --> 01:15:49,299 - You wanna hold her? - Yes. 1138 01:15:49,389 --> 01:15:51,599 - Please her? - Yes! 1139 01:15:51,679 --> 01:15:54,309 Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. 1140 01:15:54,389 --> 01:15:57,139 - The chicks love that romantic crap! - All right! Cut it out. 1141 01:15:57,229 --> 01:16:00,859 - When does this guy say the line? - We gotta check it out. 1142 01:16:00,939 --> 01:16:04,109 And so, by the power vested in me, 1143 01:16:04,189 --> 01:16:07,449 - What do you see? - The whole town's in there. 1144 01:16:07,529 --> 01:16:10,659 - I now pronounce you husband and wife, - They're at the altar. 1145 01:16:10,739 --> 01:16:13,289 - King and queen. - Mother Fletcher! He already said it. 1146 01:16:13,369 --> 01:16:15,999 Oh, for the love of Pete! 1147 01:16:17,249 --> 01:16:19,289 I object! 1148 01:16:19,369 --> 01:16:21,459 Shrek? 1149 01:16:21,539 --> 01:16:23,459 Oh, now what does he want? 1150 01:16:27,049 --> 01:16:30,089 Hi, everyone. Having a good time, are ya? 1151 01:16:30,179 --> 01:16:32,389 I love DuLoc, first of all. 1152 01:16:32,469 --> 01:16:34,969 - Very clean. - What are you doing here? 1153 01:16:35,059 --> 01:16:37,979 Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, 1154 01:16:38,059 --> 01:16:41,399 - but showing up uninvited to a wedding... - Fiona! 1155 01:16:41,479 --> 01:16:44,479 - I need to talk to you. - Oh, now you wanna talk? 1156 01:16:44,569 --> 01:16:47,529 It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me... 1157 01:16:47,609 --> 01:16:49,989 - But you can't marry him. - And why not? 1158 01:16:50,069 --> 01:16:53,949 Because... Because he's just marrying you so he can be king. 1159 01:16:54,029 --> 01:16:56,409 Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. 1160 01:16:56,489 --> 01:17:00,119 - He's not your true love. - And what do you know about true love? 1161 01:17:00,209 --> 01:17:02,579 Well, I... Uh... 1162 01:17:02,669 --> 01:17:06,049 - I mean... - Oh, this is precious. 1163 01:17:06,129 --> 01:17:10,799 The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! 1164 01:17:10,879 --> 01:17:13,139 Oh, good Lord. 1165 01:17:13,219 --> 01:17:15,139 An ogre and a princess! 1166 01:17:20,769 --> 01:17:23,269 Shrek, is this true? 1167 01:17:24,689 --> 01:17:27,229 Who cares? It's preposterous! 1168 01:17:27,319 --> 01:17:30,949 Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after. 1169 01:17:31,029 --> 01:17:33,619 Now kiss me! Mmmm! 1170 01:17:37,699 --> 01:17:41,039 By night one way, by day another. 1171 01:17:42,959 --> 01:17:45,709 I wanted to show you before. 1172 01:18:08,279 --> 01:18:10,819 Well, uh, 1173 01:18:10,899 --> 01:18:12,899 that explains a lot. 1174 01:18:12,989 --> 01:18:16,659 Ugh! It's disgusting! 1175 01:18:16,739 --> 01:18:18,789 Guards! Guards! 1176 01:18:18,869 --> 01:18:22,039 I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! 1177 01:18:22,119 --> 01:18:24,919 - Get them both! - No, no! 1178 01:18:24,999 --> 01:18:26,862 This hocus-pocus alters nothing. 1179 01:18:26,875 --> 01:18:28,749 Marriage is binding, and that makes me king! 1180 01:18:28,839 --> 01:18:31,129 - See? See? - No, let go of me! Shrek! 1181 01:18:31,209 --> 01:18:32,919 - No! - Don't just stand there, you morons. 1182 01:18:33,009 --> 01:18:35,549 Get out of my way! Fiona! 1183 01:18:38,219 --> 01:18:40,719 Arrgh! 1184 01:18:40,809 --> 01:18:43,809 I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! 1185 01:18:43,889 --> 01:18:46,809 - You'll beg for death to save you! - No! Shrek! 1186 01:18:46,899 --> 01:18:50,399 - And as for you, my wife, - Fiona! 1187 01:18:50,479 --> 01:18:53,149 I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! 1188 01:18:53,239 --> 01:18:55,069 I am king! 1189 01:18:55,159 --> 01:18:58,949 I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have... 1190 01:19:00,239 --> 01:19:03,289 Aaah! 1191 01:19:03,369 --> 01:19:06,119 - Aah! - All right. Nobody move. 1192 01:19:06,209 --> 01:19:08,289 I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. 1193 01:19:08,379 --> 01:19:10,999 I'm a donkey on the edge! 1194 01:19:15,679 --> 01:19:18,089 Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? 1195 01:19:20,259 --> 01:19:22,099 Go ahead, Shrek. 1196 01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:25,769 Uh, Fiona? 1197 01:19:26,899 --> 01:19:29,109 Yes, Shrek? 1198 01:19:29,189 --> 01:19:33,239 I... I love you. 1199 01:19:33,319 --> 01:19:35,569 Really? 1200 01:19:36,659 --> 01:19:39,659 Really, really. 1201 01:19:39,739 --> 01:19:41,659 I love you too. 1202 01:19:47,119 --> 01:19:48,789 Aawww! 1203 01:19:50,709 --> 01:19:53,959 Until you find truelove's first kiss... 1204 01:19:54,049 --> 01:19:57,339 and then take love's true form. 1205 01:20:20,909 --> 01:20:23,829 Take love's true form. Take love's true form. 1206 01:20:29,999 --> 01:20:32,499 Fiona? 1207 01:20:35,009 --> 01:20:37,589 Fiona. 1208 01:20:37,669 --> 01:20:40,219 Are you all right? 1209 01:20:40,299 --> 01:20:42,219 Well, yes. 1210 01:20:42,299 --> 01:20:45,559 But I don't understand. 1211 01:20:45,639 --> 01:20:47,769 I'm supposed to be beautiful. 1212 01:20:50,479 --> 01:20:52,729 But you are beautiful. 1213 01:20:55,279 --> 01:20:57,739 I was hoping this would be a happy ending. 1214 01:21:01,529 --> 01:21:05,949 I thought love was only true in fairy tales 1215 01:21:06,039 --> 01:21:07,499 Oy! 1216 01:21:07,579 --> 01:21:11,289 Meant for someone else but not for me. 1217 01:21:13,709 --> 01:21:16,669 Love was out to get me. 1218 01:21:16,759 --> 01:21:19,549 That's the way it seemed. 1219 01:21:19,629 --> 01:21:24,099 Disappointment haunted all my dreams. 1220 01:21:24,179 --> 01:21:27,469 And then I saw her face. 1221 01:21:27,559 --> 01:21:30,349 Now I'm a believer. 1222 01:21:30,439 --> 01:21:32,979 And not a trace. 1223 01:21:33,059 --> 01:21:35,819 Of doubt in my mind. 1224 01:21:35,899 --> 01:21:39,949 - I'm in love. - Ooh-ahh. 1225 01:21:40,029 --> 01:21:42,489 I'm a believer I couldn't leave her. 1226 01:21:42,569 --> 01:21:44,779 If I tried 1227 01:21:44,869 --> 01:21:48,909 God bless us, every one. 1228 01:21:48,999 --> 01:21:52,539 Come on, y'all! Then I saw her face Ha-ha! 1229 01:21:52,619 --> 01:21:55,749 Now I'm a believer Listen! 1230 01:21:55,839 --> 01:21:58,629 Not a trace. 1231 01:21:58,709 --> 01:22:01,509 Of doubt in my mind 1232 01:22:01,589 --> 01:22:04,849 I'm in love Ooh-ahh 1233 01:22:04,929 --> 01:22:09,179 I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried. 1234 01:22:09,269 --> 01:22:12,139 - Ooh! - Uh! 1235 01:22:12,229 --> 01:22:14,809 Then I saw her face. 1236 01:22:14,899 --> 01:22:17,859 Now I'm a believer Hey! 1237 01:22:17,939 --> 01:22:20,739 Not a trace Uhh! Yeah. 1238 01:22:20,819 --> 01:22:24,069 Of doubt in my mind One more time! 1239 01:22:24,159 --> 01:22:28,699 I'm in love I'm a believer. 1240 01:22:28,789 --> 01:22:30,619 Come on! 1241 01:22:30,699 --> 01:22:32,619 I believe, I believe I believe, I believe 1242 01:22:32,709 --> 01:22:35,379 I believe, I believe I believe, I believe, I believe, hey. 1243 01:22:35,459 --> 01:22:38,039 Y'all sing it with me! I. 1244 01:22:38,129 --> 01:22:39,799 Believe 1245 01:22:39,879 --> 01:22:42,839 I believe People in the back! 1246 01:22:42,919 --> 01:22:45,839 - I believe. - I'm a believer 1247 01:22:45,929 --> 01:22:48,889 I believe 1248 01:22:48,969 --> 01:22:51,849 I believe 1249 01:22:51,929 --> 01:22:56,349 I believe. 1250 01:22:58,769 --> 01:23:01,029 Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. 1251 01:23:01,109 --> 01:23:03,739 I can't breathe. I can't breathe. 1252 01:23:04,649 --> 01:23:06,949 I believe in self-assertion. 1253 01:23:07,029 --> 01:23:09,199 Destiny or as light diversion. 1254 01:23:09,279 --> 01:23:13,579 Now it seems I've got my head on straight. 1255 01:23:13,659 --> 01:23:15,789 I'm a freak an apparition. 1256 01:23:15,869 --> 01:23:17,999 Seems I've made the right decision. 1257 01:23:18,079 --> 01:23:21,709 To try to turn back now it might be too late. 1258 01:23:21,799 --> 01:23:26,129 - I want to stay home today. - Don't wanna go out. 1259 01:23:26,219 --> 01:23:30,559 - If anyone comes to play. - Gonna get thrown out. 1260 01:23:30,639 --> 01:23:34,979 - I wanna stay home today. - Don't want no company. 1261 01:23:35,059 --> 01:23:37,519 No way. 1262 01:23:37,599 --> 01:23:40,269 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1263 01:23:40,359 --> 01:23:42,569 I wanna be a millionaire some day. 1264 01:23:42,649 --> 01:23:44,819 But know what it feels like to give it away. 1265 01:23:44,899 --> 01:23:48,319 Watch me march to the beat of my own drum. 1266 01:23:48,409 --> 01:23:50,989 And it's off to the moon and then back again. 1267 01:23:51,079 --> 01:23:53,159 Same old day Same situation. 1268 01:23:53,249 --> 01:23:57,419 My happiness rears back as if to say. 1269 01:23:57,499 --> 01:24:01,799 - I wanna stay home today. - Don't wanna go out. 1270 01:24:01,879 --> 01:24:06,259 - If anyone comes my way. - Gonna get thrown out. 1271 01:24:06,339 --> 01:24:10,759 - I wanna stay home today. - Don't want no company. 1272 01:24:10,849 --> 01:24:13,309 No way. 1273 01:24:13,389 --> 01:24:16,019 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1274 01:24:19,859 --> 01:24:24,689 I wanna stay home stay home, stay home. 1275 01:24:24,779 --> 01:24:29,819 - I wanna stay home today. - Don't wanna go out. 1276 01:24:29,909 --> 01:24:34,199 - If anyone comes to play. - Gonna get thrown out. 1277 01:24:34,289 --> 01:24:37,119 I wanna stay home today. 1278 01:24:37,209 --> 01:24:41,209 Don't want no company No way. 1279 01:24:41,289 --> 01:24:44,129 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1280 01:24:57,929 --> 01:25:01,899 I get such a thrill when you looking my eyes. 1281 01:25:01,979 --> 01:25:06,149 My heart skips a beat Girl, I feel so alive. 1282 01:25:06,229 --> 01:25:09,989 Please tell me, baby if all this is true. 1283 01:25:10,069 --> 01:25:14,159 'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you. 1284 01:25:14,239 --> 01:25:18,159 Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance. 1285 01:25:18,249 --> 01:25:22,129 Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance. 1286 01:25:22,209 --> 01:25:26,169 Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyes. 1287 01:25:26,249 --> 01:25:30,129 Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives. 1288 01:25:30,219 --> 01:25:34,009 When we first met I could hardly believe. 1289 01:25:34,099 --> 01:25:38,059 The things that would happen and we could achieve. 1290 01:25:38,139 --> 01:25:41,849 So let's be together for all of our time. 1291 01:25:41,939 --> 01:25:45,819 Oh, girl, I'm so thankful that you are still mine. 1292 01:25:45,899 --> 01:25:47,979 You always consider me like an ugly duckling. 1293 01:25:48,069 --> 01:25:50,608 And treat me like a Nostradamus was why I had to get my shine on. 1294 01:25:50,609 --> 01:25:52,659 I break a little something to keep my mind on. 1295 01:25:52,739 --> 01:25:55,159 'Cause you had my mind gone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh. 1296 01:25:55,239 --> 01:25:58,079 Turn the lights on, Come on, baby Let's just rewind the song. 1297 01:25:58,159 --> 01:26:00,289 'Cause all I want to do is make the rest years the best years. 1298 01:26:00,369 --> 01:26:02,369 All night long. 1299 01:26:02,459 --> 01:26:06,169 - Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance. - Makes me wanna dance. 1300 01:26:06,249 --> 01:26:10,169 - Oh-oh-oh, it's a new romance. - It's a new romance. 1301 01:26:10,259 --> 01:26:13,429 - Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 1302 01:26:13,509 --> 01:26:16,179 - Look into your eyes. - Oh-oh-oh. 1303 01:26:16,259 --> 01:26:18,468 - The best years of our lives. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1304 01:26:18,469 --> 01:26:22,189 - Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance. - Whoa-oh-oh, dance, yeah. 1305 01:26:22,269 --> 01:26:26,189 Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance. 1306 01:26:26,269 --> 01:26:30,239 - Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes. - Look into your eyes, yeah. 1307 01:26:30,319 --> 01:26:34,949 Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives. 1308 01:26:35,029 --> 01:26:37,869 Everything looks bright. 1309 01:26:37,949 --> 01:26:40,199 Standing in your light. 1310 01:26:40,289 --> 01:26:42,619 Everything feels right. 1311 01:26:42,709 --> 01:26:45,789 What's left is out of sight. 1312 01:26:45,879 --> 01:26:50,459 What's a girl to do I'm telling you, you're on my mind. 1313 01:26:50,549 --> 01:26:53,129 I wanna be with you. 1314 01:26:53,219 --> 01:26:55,509 'Cause when you're standing next to me. 1315 01:26:55,589 --> 01:26:57,509 It's like wow. 1316 01:26:57,599 --> 01:27:00,719 And all your kisses seem to set me free. 1317 01:27:00,809 --> 01:27:02,639 It's like wow. 1318 01:27:02,729 --> 01:27:06,059 And when we touch it's such a rush, I can't get enough. 1319 01:27:06,149 --> 01:27:08,819 It's like... It's like Ooh-ooh. 1320 01:27:08,899 --> 01:27:11,439 Hey, what. 1321 01:27:11,529 --> 01:27:14,819 It's like wow Ooh-ooh, hey. 1322 01:27:14,909 --> 01:27:18,159 Hey, yeah It's like wow. 1323 01:27:18,239 --> 01:27:21,869 Everything is looking right now, right now. 1324 01:27:21,949 --> 01:27:25,169 - It's like wow. - And I got this feeling. 1325 01:27:25,249 --> 01:27:28,129 This feeling it's just like wow. 1326 01:27:28,209 --> 01:27:30,459 It's just like wow. 1327 01:27:30,549 --> 01:27:32,509 - You are all I'm thinking of. - Like wow. 1328 01:27:32,589 --> 01:27:36,969 Everything feels right Everything feels right. 1329 01:27:37,049 --> 01:27:39,469 - Like wow. - Everything looks bright. 1330 01:27:39,549 --> 01:27:42,139 All my senses are right. 1331 01:27:42,219 --> 01:27:44,599 - Like wow. - Everything feels right. 1332 01:27:44,679 --> 01:27:48,019 Baby, baby, baby the way I'm feeling you. 1333 01:27:48,099 --> 01:27:50,019 Is like wow 1334 01:28:10,629 --> 01:28:14,169 There is something that I see. 1335 01:28:14,259 --> 01:28:17,679 In the way you look at me. 1336 01:28:17,759 --> 01:28:21,179 There's a smile There's a truth. 1337 01:28:21,259 --> 01:28:24,679 In your eyes. 1338 01:28:24,769 --> 01:28:28,099 What an unexpected way. 1339 01:28:28,189 --> 01:28:31,569 On this unexpected day. 1340 01:28:31,649 --> 01:28:33,569 Could it be. 1341 01:28:33,649 --> 01:28:38,569 This is where I belong. 1342 01:28:38,659 --> 01:28:42,029 It is you I have loved. 1343 01:28:42,119 --> 01:28:45,119 All along. 1344 01:28:45,199 --> 01:28:48,919 There's no more mystery. 1345 01:28:48,999 --> 01:28:52,459 It is finally clear to me. 1346 01:28:52,539 --> 01:28:56,209 You're the home my heart's searched for. 1347 01:28:56,299 --> 01:28:59,299 So long. 1348 01:28:59,379 --> 01:29:02,969 It is you I have loved. 1349 01:29:03,049 --> 01:29:06,979 All along. 1350 01:29:34,169 --> 01:29:38,009 Whoa, over and over. 1351 01:29:38,089 --> 01:29:43,179 I'm filled with emotion. 1352 01:29:43,259 --> 01:29:46,219 As I look. 1353 01:29:46,309 --> 01:29:50,939 Into your perfect face