1 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:57,621 Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, 2 00:00:57,705 --> 00:01:02,126 the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. 3 00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:05,879 And throughout the land, everyone was happy... 4 00:01:05,963 --> 00:01:07,964 until the sun went down 5 00:01:08,048 --> 00:01:12,093 and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment 6 00:01:12,135 --> 00:01:15,221 that took hold each and every night. 7 00:01:16,848 --> 00:01:20,351 Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother 8 00:01:20,434 --> 00:01:23,437 who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, 9 00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:27,316 there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. 10 00:01:30,652 --> 00:01:33,446 It was he who would chance the perilous journey 11 00:01:33,488 --> 00:01:36,199 through blistering cold and scorching desert 12 00:01:36,282 --> 00:01:38,576 traveling for many days and nights, 13 00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,828 risking life and limb 14 00:01:41,496 --> 00:01:44,415 to reach the Dragon's keep. 15 00:01:48,752 --> 00:01:51,380 For he was the bravest, 16 00:01:51,463 --> 00:01:54,091 and most handsome... 17 00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:58,845 in all the land. 18 00:01:58,928 --> 00:02:01,598 And it was destiny that his kiss 19 00:02:02,682 --> 00:02:05,977 would break the dreaded curse. 20 00:02:06,018 --> 00:02:11,815 He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower 21 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:16,445 to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, 22 00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:19,573 pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... 23 00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:21,783 What? 24 00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:25,453 - Princess... Fiona? - No! 25 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:28,581 Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? 26 00:02:28,664 --> 00:02:31,959 - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? 27 00:02:31,959 --> 00:02:32,918 - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? 28 00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,306 Hyah! 29 00:04:55,884 --> 00:04:58,011 It's so good to be home! 30 00:05:01,098 --> 00:05:02,807 Just you and me and... 31 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,361 Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! 32 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,738 Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. 33 00:05:18,864 --> 00:05:22,075 And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? 34 00:05:22,159 --> 00:05:24,327 Donkey, what are you doing here? 35 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,454 Taking care of your love nest for you. 36 00:05:26,538 --> 00:05:30,833 Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? 37 00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:33,920 - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. 38 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:37,089 You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. 39 00:05:37,173 --> 00:05:40,092 That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... 40 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:42,886 Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. 41 00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:46,890 Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? 42 00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:51,144 Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? 43 00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:53,354 Oh, yeah, that. 44 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:57,024 I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. 45 00:05:57,108 --> 00:05:58,776 I thought I'd move in with you. 46 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,612 You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. 47 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,490 But Fiona and I are married now. 48 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:07,868 We need a little time, you know, to be together. 49 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,038 Just with each other. 50 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,541 Alone. 51 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,460 Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. 52 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,254 I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. 53 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,048 - Donkey! - Yes, roomie? 54 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,549 You're bothering me. 55 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:28,053 Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... 56 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:31,390 Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... 57 00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:36,269 Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. 58 00:06:38,271 --> 00:06:42,442 He'll be fine. Now, where were we? 59 00:06:42,525 --> 00:06:44,443 Oh. 60 00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:46,529 I think I remember. 61 00:06:48,781 --> 00:06:50,241 Donkey! 62 00:06:50,282 --> 00:06:53,410 I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. 63 00:06:53,494 --> 00:06:56,538 What do you want me to tell these other guys? 64 00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:08,674 Enough, Reggie. 65 00:07:10,885 --> 00:07:14,388 "Dearest Princess Fiona. 66 00:07:14,471 --> 00:07:18,642 "You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away 67 00:07:18,725 --> 00:07:23,396 "for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage 68 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,607 "at which time the King 69 00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:30,736 "will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and your..." 70 00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:32,947 uh... "Prince Charming. 71 00:07:32,989 --> 00:07:37,660 "Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. 72 00:07:37,743 --> 00:07:40,204 "Aka Mom and Dad." 73 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:41,622 Mom and Dad? 74 00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:45,083 - Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? 75 00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,960 - We're not going. - What? 76 00:07:47,002 --> 00:07:50,004 I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... 77 00:07:50,046 --> 00:07:53,091 shocked to see you like this? 78 00:07:53,174 --> 00:07:55,593 Well, they might be a bit surprised. 79 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,846 But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. 80 00:07:58,929 --> 00:08:01,265 And don't worry. They'll love you, too. 81 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,307 Yeah, right. 82 00:08:02,391 --> 00:08:05,143 Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. 83 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,020 Stop it. They're not like that. 84 00:08:07,104 --> 00:08:10,607 How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? 85 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,110 Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. 86 00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,237 To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? 87 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,198 No! They just want to give you their blessing. 88 00:08:19,282 --> 00:08:23,369 Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? 89 00:08:23,452 --> 00:08:25,913 If you want to be a part of this family, yes! 90 00:08:25,996 --> 00:08:28,040 Who says I want to be part of this family? 91 00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:31,126 You did! When you married me! 92 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,253 Well, there's some fine print for you! 93 00:08:33,336 --> 00:08:36,339 So that's it. You won't come? 94 00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:41,677 Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! 95 00:08:43,471 --> 00:08:46,181 Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! 96 00:08:48,809 --> 00:08:51,687 Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. 97 00:08:53,313 --> 00:08:55,815 Hey, wait for me. Oof! 98 00:09:28,095 --> 00:09:30,723 - Are we there yet? - No. 99 00:09:34,101 --> 00:09:36,812 - Are we there yet? - Not yet. 100 00:09:39,898 --> 00:09:42,108 - OK, are we there yet? - No. 101 00:09:42,943 --> 00:09:44,944 - Are we there yet? - No! 102 00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:47,030 - Are we there yet? - Yes. 103 00:09:47,113 --> 00:09:48,406 - Really? - No! 104 00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:49,949 - Are we there yet? - No! 105 00:09:50,032 --> 00:09:51,826 - Are we there yet? - We are not! 106 00:09:51,909 --> 00:09:54,453 - Are we there yet? - No! 107 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,665 Are we there yet? 108 00:09:57,748 --> 00:10:01,793 That's not funny. That's really immature. 109 00:10:01,877 --> 00:10:04,129 This is why nobody likes ogres. 110 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,547 Your loss! 111 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,925 - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! 112 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:12,595 This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! 113 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:16,515 The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. 114 00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:20,894 That's where we're going. Far, far... 115 00:10:20,978 --> 00:10:22,604 away! 116 00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:26,274 All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. 117 00:10:26,316 --> 00:10:28,944 Well, find a way to entertain yourself. 118 00:10:51,673 --> 00:10:54,300 For five minutes... 119 00:10:54,342 --> 00:10:56,344 Could you not be yourself... 120 00:10:56,427 --> 00:10:58,930 for five minutes! 121 00:11:05,936 --> 00:11:07,688 Are we there yet? 122 00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:10,440 - Yes! - Oh, finally! 123 00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:24,287 Wow! 124 00:11:25,496 --> 00:11:29,875 It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. 125 00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:32,878 Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! 126 00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:44,180 We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. 127 00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:47,391 Halt! 128 00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:57,901 Hey, everyone, look. 129 00:12:08,745 --> 00:12:12,790 Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. 130 00:12:20,881 --> 00:12:23,425 Swimming pools! Movie stars! 131 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,919 Announcing the long-awaited return 132 00:13:02,002 --> 00:13:06,590 of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. 133 00:13:08,175 --> 00:13:10,051 Well, this is it. 134 00:13:10,135 --> 00:13:12,095 - This is it. - This is it. 135 00:13:12,137 --> 00:13:13,430 This is it. 136 00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:39,621 Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. 137 00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,959 So... 138 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:48,045 you still think this was a good idea? 139 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:52,549 Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. 140 00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:56,803 - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. 141 00:13:56,887 --> 00:14:00,265 That's not little! That's a really big problem. 142 00:14:00,348 --> 00:14:03,643 Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? 143 00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:06,938 Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... 144 00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:10,691 Happy now? We came. We saw them. 145 00:14:10,774 --> 00:14:13,193 Now let's go before they light the torches. 146 00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:16,530 - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. 147 00:14:16,613 --> 00:14:18,115 That was for my own... 148 00:14:18,198 --> 00:14:22,035 Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. 149 00:14:22,118 --> 00:14:23,370 Harold, we have to be... 150 00:14:23,453 --> 00:14:26,372 Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. 151 00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:28,458 Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... 152 00:14:28,541 --> 00:14:30,876 A disaster! There is no way... 153 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,586 - You can do this. - I really... 154 00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:35,172 - Really... - don't... want... to... be... 155 00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:37,341 Here! 156 00:14:39,259 --> 00:14:42,387 Mom... Dad... 157 00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:45,724 I'd like you to meet my husband... 158 00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:47,559 Shrek. 159 00:14:49,936 --> 00:14:51,771 Well, um... 160 00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:55,191 It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. 161 00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:35,562 Excuse me. 162 00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:39,357 Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? 163 00:15:41,651 --> 00:15:43,486 That's good. 164 00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:45,279 I guess not. 165 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:45,654 What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. 166 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,825 What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. 167 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,577 What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. 168 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:57,082 - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! 169 00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,001 No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. 170 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,546 - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - The noble steed. 171 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,673 Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? 172 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,299 Oh, boy. 173 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,470 - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? 174 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:15,098 Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. 175 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,183 Mmm! 176 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,226 No, no. Darling. 177 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:21,146 Oh! 178 00:16:23,147 --> 00:16:26,609 So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. 179 00:16:26,692 --> 00:16:28,277 Well... 180 00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:30,696 Shrek owns his own land. 181 00:16:31,363 --> 00:16:34,116 - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! 182 00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:36,994 It's in an enchanted forest 183 00:16:37,077 --> 00:16:41,831 abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... 184 00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:43,249 What? 185 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:45,501 I know you ain't talking about the swamp. 186 00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:49,714 An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. 187 00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:52,717 I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. 188 00:17:03,351 --> 00:17:06,021 It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? 189 00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:09,023 - Indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! 190 00:17:09,107 --> 00:17:12,276 - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, OK? 191 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,154 - For his type, yes. - My type? 192 00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:16,572 I got to go to the bathroom. 193 00:17:16,655 --> 00:17:20,117 - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. 194 00:17:25,872 --> 00:17:27,040 Bon appetit! 195 00:17:27,123 --> 00:17:29,584 Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. 196 00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:33,296 Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in. 197 00:17:33,379 --> 00:17:34,756 Don't mind if I do, Lillian. 198 00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:38,634 I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... 199 00:17:38,718 --> 00:17:41,053 Ogres, yes! 200 00:17:41,136 --> 00:17:44,098 Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? 201 00:17:44,181 --> 00:17:45,933 Oh, no! No! Of course, not! 202 00:17:46,016 --> 00:17:49,227 That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! 203 00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:50,103 Dad! 204 00:17:50,187 --> 00:17:54,816 No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! 205 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:58,611 - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. 206 00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:00,988 Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. 207 00:18:01,072 --> 00:18:04,241 You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! 208 00:18:08,912 --> 00:18:11,707 It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. 209 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,420 - Harold! - Shrek! 210 00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:18,504 - Fiona! - Fiona! 211 00:18:18,588 --> 00:18:19,839 - Mom! - Harold... 212 00:18:19,922 --> 00:18:20,923 Donkey! 213 00:19:44,418 --> 00:19:48,463 Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. 214 00:19:49,506 --> 00:19:51,382 You're all grown up. 215 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:55,094 - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! 216 00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:57,179 I'm your fairy godmother. 217 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,890 - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. 218 00:19:59,974 --> 00:20:04,353 Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. 219 00:20:04,394 --> 00:20:07,481 With just a... 220 00:21:09,121 --> 00:21:11,206 Stop! 221 00:21:11,248 --> 00:21:13,042 Look... 222 00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:15,836 Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, 223 00:21:15,919 --> 00:21:18,797 but I really don't need all this. 224 00:21:21,132 --> 00:21:23,718 - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. 225 00:21:23,802 --> 00:21:26,888 Fiona? Fiona? 226 00:21:30,933 --> 00:21:34,061 Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. 227 00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:35,771 Oh, uh... 228 00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:37,898 Fairy Godmother, furniture... 229 00:21:39,024 --> 00:21:41,359 I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. 230 00:21:41,485 --> 00:21:45,071 Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? 231 00:21:45,155 --> 00:21:46,823 Shrek is the one who rescued me. 232 00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:50,827 - But that can't be right. - Oh, great, more relatives! 233 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,703 She's just trying to help. 234 00:21:52,787 --> 00:21:55,998 Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. 235 00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:57,583 - What? - I don't want to leave. 236 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,209 When did you decide this? 237 00:21:59,293 --> 00:22:01,962 - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... 238 00:22:02,045 --> 00:22:05,423 No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. 239 00:22:05,465 --> 00:22:08,802 But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... 240 00:22:08,968 --> 00:22:10,053 happiness... 241 00:22:10,136 --> 00:22:11,846 is just a teardrop away. 242 00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:14,474 Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. 243 00:22:14,557 --> 00:22:16,434 Happy, happy, happy... 244 00:22:16,475 --> 00:22:18,686 So I see. 245 00:22:18,769 --> 00:22:20,604 Let's go, Kyle. 246 00:22:23,357 --> 00:22:24,900 - Very nice, Shrek. - What? 247 00:22:24,983 --> 00:22:27,694 I told you coming here was a bad idea. 248 00:22:27,778 --> 00:22:30,447 You could've at least tried to get along with my father. 249 00:22:30,488 --> 00:22:33,116 I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, 250 00:22:33,158 --> 00:22:34,951 even if I did want it. 251 00:22:35,034 --> 00:22:39,080 Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? 252 00:22:39,163 --> 00:22:41,540 Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? 253 00:22:41,624 --> 00:22:46,503 You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... 254 00:22:46,587 --> 00:22:49,589 - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! 255 00:22:49,673 --> 00:22:51,133 Here's a news flash for you! 256 00:22:51,174 --> 00:22:55,136 Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! 257 00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:04,729 And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. 258 00:23:10,526 --> 00:23:14,654 I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. 259 00:23:16,531 --> 00:23:20,535 That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre!" 260 00:23:46,392 --> 00:23:47,894 I knew this would happen. 261 00:23:47,977 --> 00:23:49,895 You should. You started it. 262 00:23:49,979 --> 00:23:53,983 I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. 263 00:23:54,108 --> 00:23:57,528 I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. 264 00:23:57,569 --> 00:23:59,946 This is Fiona's choice. 265 00:24:00,030 --> 00:24:03,116 But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. 266 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:07,412 I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? 267 00:24:07,495 --> 00:24:11,415 Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. 268 00:24:11,582 --> 00:24:16,128 I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. 269 00:24:16,212 --> 00:24:18,797 Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. 270 00:24:18,922 --> 00:24:21,717 Don't you remember when we were young? 271 00:24:21,842 --> 00:24:24,761 We used to walk down by the lily pond and... 272 00:24:24,845 --> 00:24:28,056 - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. 273 00:24:28,139 --> 00:24:29,557 It's not the same! 274 00:24:29,599 --> 00:24:33,644 I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! 275 00:24:33,728 --> 00:24:36,063 Oh, stop being such a drama king. 276 00:24:36,105 --> 00:24:38,023 Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! 277 00:24:38,107 --> 00:24:41,110 La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! 278 00:24:41,193 --> 00:24:43,237 I'd like to know how it could get any worse! 279 00:24:43,278 --> 00:24:44,571 Hello, Harold. 280 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:46,698 - What happened? - Nothing, dear! 281 00:24:46,782 --> 00:24:49,743 Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! 282 00:24:50,910 --> 00:24:53,580 I'll just stretch it out here for a while. 283 00:24:53,621 --> 00:24:56,749 You better get in. We need to talk. 284 00:24:56,791 --> 00:24:58,918 Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. 285 00:24:59,001 --> 00:25:02,671 Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. 286 00:25:02,755 --> 00:25:06,592 So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? 287 00:25:07,885 --> 00:25:10,595 Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! 288 00:25:12,222 --> 00:25:13,848 So, what's new? 289 00:25:13,932 --> 00:25:17,644 You remember my son, Prince Charming? 290 00:25:17,727 --> 00:25:21,189 Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. 291 00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:23,441 When did you get back? 292 00:25:23,482 --> 00:25:26,485 Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. 293 00:25:26,569 --> 00:25:30,114 After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... 294 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:33,200 I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... 295 00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,660 Mommy can handle this. 296 00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:39,873 He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! 297 00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:43,918 He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... 298 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:45,127 And what does he find? 299 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:48,923 Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess 300 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,883 is already married. 301 00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:53,427 It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. 302 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:55,178 Stop the car! 303 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,348 Harold. 304 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:04,103 You force me to do something I really don't want to do. 305 00:26:04,187 --> 00:26:06,147 Where are we? 306 00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:09,191 Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? 307 00:26:09,358 --> 00:26:13,404 My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Er... okay. 308 00:26:13,487 --> 00:26:16,323 Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... 309 00:26:16,448 --> 00:26:19,868 - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal and, Harold... 310 00:26:20,035 --> 00:26:21,995 - Curly fries? - No, thank you. 311 00:26:22,037 --> 00:26:24,789 - Sourdough soft taco, then? - No, really, I'm fine. 312 00:26:24,873 --> 00:26:28,751 Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. 313 00:26:28,835 --> 00:26:30,002 There you are, dear. 314 00:26:33,464 --> 00:26:37,217 We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. 315 00:26:37,301 --> 00:26:39,511 lndeed not. 316 00:26:39,553 --> 00:26:43,223 So, Fiona and Charming will be together. 317 00:26:43,306 --> 00:26:46,810 - Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. 318 00:26:46,893 --> 00:26:49,395 Not only for your daughter... 319 00:26:50,730 --> 00:26:52,690 but for your Kingdom. 320 00:26:57,319 --> 00:26:59,446 What am I supposed to do about it? 321 00:27:00,990 --> 00:27:02,991 Use your imagination. 322 00:27:37,273 --> 00:27:38,650 Oh... 323 00:27:41,277 --> 00:27:43,446 Come on in, Your Majesty. 324 00:28:02,964 --> 00:28:04,924 Excuse me. 325 00:28:04,966 --> 00:28:07,259 Do I know you? 326 00:28:07,343 --> 00:28:10,137 No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. 327 00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:13,932 Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. 328 00:28:15,851 --> 00:28:18,436 Ah! There you are. Right. 329 00:28:18,478 --> 00:28:23,816 You see, I need to have someone taken care of. 330 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:28,237 - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. 331 00:28:28,321 --> 00:28:30,156 Um... He's an ogre. 332 00:28:32,992 --> 00:28:34,702 Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. 333 00:28:34,785 --> 00:28:39,122 There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... 334 00:28:39,164 --> 00:28:40,916 he don't like to be disturbed. 335 00:28:40,916 --> 00:28:41,333 He don't like to be disturbed. 336 00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:43,084 Where could I find him? 337 00:28:46,504 --> 00:28:48,548 Hello? 338 00:28:49,215 --> 00:28:51,592 Who dares enter my room? 339 00:28:51,676 --> 00:28:55,304 Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to 340 00:28:55,387 --> 00:28:57,097 about an ogre problem? 341 00:28:57,222 --> 00:28:59,475 You are told correct. 342 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,311 But for this, I charge a great deal of money. 343 00:29:03,395 --> 00:29:05,522 Would... this be enough? 344 00:29:12,362 --> 00:29:17,533 You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. 345 00:29:17,616 --> 00:29:20,953 Just tell me where I can find this ogre. 346 00:30:28,891 --> 00:30:33,812 Dear Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. 347 00:30:56,083 --> 00:30:57,417 Dear Diary... 348 00:30:57,501 --> 00:31:00,212 Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, 349 00:31:00,295 --> 00:31:04,090 but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. 350 00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:07,760 Dad says I'm going away for a while. 351 00:31:07,802 --> 00:31:10,179 Must be like some finishing school. 352 00:31:11,138 --> 00:31:13,057 Mom says that when I'm old enough, 353 00:31:13,140 --> 00:31:15,851 my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower 354 00:31:15,935 --> 00:31:18,479 and bring me back to my family, 355 00:31:18,562 --> 00:31:21,773 and we'll all live happily ever after. 356 00:31:23,525 --> 00:31:25,610 Mrs. Fiona Charming. 357 00:31:27,070 --> 00:31:28,988 Mrs. Fiona Charming. 358 00:31:29,072 --> 00:31:30,490 Mrs. Fiona Charming. 359 00:31:30,573 --> 00:31:32,867 Mrs. Fiona Charming. 360 00:31:42,543 --> 00:31:45,420 Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 361 00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:51,092 No, no. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. 362 00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:56,222 I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. 363 00:31:56,305 --> 00:31:58,766 - Okay... - I don't know what came over me. 364 00:31:58,849 --> 00:32:02,269 Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... 365 00:32:02,353 --> 00:32:05,439 - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me Dad. 366 00:32:05,522 --> 00:32:09,651 Dad. We both acted like ogres. 367 00:32:09,735 --> 00:32:13,238 Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other. 368 00:32:13,321 --> 00:32:17,784 Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. 369 00:32:17,867 --> 00:32:19,869 A little father-son time? 370 00:32:21,579 --> 00:32:24,206 I know it would mean the world to Fiona. 371 00:32:32,714 --> 00:32:37,093 Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak? 372 00:32:42,598 --> 00:32:44,642 Face it, Donkey! We're lost. 373 00:32:44,767 --> 00:32:48,479 We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. 374 00:32:48,562 --> 00:32:50,981 "Head to the darkest part of the woods..." 375 00:32:51,065 --> 00:32:54,067 "Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches." 376 00:32:54,234 --> 00:32:58,446 - The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! 377 00:32:58,572 --> 00:33:01,407 You were the one who said not to stop for directions. 378 00:33:01,491 --> 00:33:05,912 Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad 379 00:33:05,995 --> 00:33:07,997 and I end up lost in the woods with you! 380 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,332 Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. 381 00:33:10,416 --> 00:33:12,376 I know! I know. 382 00:33:14,753 --> 00:33:18,090 - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. 383 00:33:18,173 --> 00:33:21,343 I just really need to make things work with this guy. 384 00:33:21,468 --> 00:33:24,262 Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. 385 00:33:32,269 --> 00:33:33,646 Well, well, well, Donkey. 386 00:33:33,729 --> 00:33:37,232 I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? 387 00:33:37,399 --> 00:33:39,067 What? I ain't purring. 388 00:33:39,151 --> 00:33:41,486 Sure. What's next? A hug? 389 00:33:41,570 --> 00:33:45,699 Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... 390 00:33:45,782 --> 00:33:48,368 Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! 391 00:33:49,744 --> 00:33:50,870 Look! A little cat. 392 00:33:50,953 --> 00:33:54,081 - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. 393 00:33:54,248 --> 00:33:56,167 Come here, little kitty, kitty. 394 00:33:56,250 --> 00:34:01,338 Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. 395 00:34:02,714 --> 00:34:04,258 Whoa! 396 00:34:04,341 --> 00:34:08,595 - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! 397 00:34:08,678 --> 00:34:10,930 Oh, God. Oh... 398 00:34:11,014 --> 00:34:12,640 No! 399 00:34:14,684 --> 00:34:17,103 - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! 400 00:34:17,144 --> 00:34:19,146 Shrek! Hold still! 401 00:34:20,397 --> 00:34:24,276 - Did I miss? - No. You got them. 402 00:34:27,696 --> 00:34:31,533 Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... 403 00:34:33,243 --> 00:34:36,120 Puss... in Boots! 404 00:34:36,162 --> 00:34:37,747 I'll kill that cat! 405 00:34:37,830 --> 00:34:38,998 Ah-ha-ha! 406 00:34:57,015 --> 00:35:00,727 - Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! 407 00:35:02,019 --> 00:35:03,688 What should we do with him? 408 00:35:03,854 --> 00:35:07,108 Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. 409 00:35:07,191 --> 00:35:08,484 Oh, no! Por favor! Please! 410 00:35:08,609 --> 00:35:11,320 I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor. 411 00:35:11,403 --> 00:35:13,113 I was doing it only for my family. 412 00:35:13,197 --> 00:35:17,200 My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! 413 00:35:17,284 --> 00:35:20,787 The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... 414 00:35:20,870 --> 00:35:22,330 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 415 00:35:22,413 --> 00:35:25,166 Fiona's father paid you to do this? 416 00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:27,168 The rich King? SÍ. 417 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:34,091 Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. 418 00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:37,511 Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. 419 00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:38,970 Gee, thanks. 420 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:46,561 Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. 421 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,021 That's what the King said. 422 00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:52,775 Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. 423 00:35:53,859 --> 00:35:56,820 Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. 424 00:35:56,904 --> 00:36:00,115 Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. 425 00:36:00,198 --> 00:36:04,244 I just... I just wish I could make her happy. 426 00:36:06,454 --> 00:36:07,914 Hold the phone... 427 00:36:09,374 --> 00:36:11,626 "Happiness." 428 00:36:11,709 --> 00:36:14,587 "A tear drop away." 429 00:36:14,670 --> 00:36:18,507 Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! 430 00:36:18,591 --> 00:36:21,218 Aw, man, where do I begin? 431 00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:25,597 First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. 432 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,434 Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. 433 00:36:29,517 --> 00:36:33,604 Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going "Piñata!" 434 00:36:33,688 --> 00:36:35,022 What is a piñata, anyway? 435 00:36:35,106 --> 00:36:37,525 No, Donkey! I need you to cry! 436 00:36:37,608 --> 00:36:39,026 Don't go projecting on me. 437 00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:41,237 I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... 438 00:36:41,278 --> 00:36:43,405 Aaaahhh! 439 00:36:44,156 --> 00:36:46,700 You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... 440 00:36:53,832 --> 00:36:55,917 What? Is it on? Is it on? 441 00:36:57,293 --> 00:36:59,045 This is Fairy Godmother. 442 00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:01,339 I'm either away from my desk or with a client. 443 00:37:01,464 --> 00:37:05,926 But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. 444 00:37:06,093 --> 00:37:07,845 Have a "happy ever after." 445 00:37:09,805 --> 00:37:11,264 Oh... 446 00:37:12,265 --> 00:37:14,476 Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? 447 00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:18,062 That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! 448 00:37:21,733 --> 00:37:26,362 - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. 449 00:37:26,445 --> 00:37:30,282 On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life 450 00:37:30,366 --> 00:37:32,284 as you have spared me mine. 451 00:37:32,326 --> 00:37:35,620 The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. 452 00:37:35,704 --> 00:37:38,623 Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? 453 00:37:47,506 --> 00:37:50,801 - Shrek! - Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him... 454 00:37:50,885 --> 00:37:52,803 in his wee little boots. 455 00:37:52,928 --> 00:37:56,139 You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. 456 00:37:56,181 --> 00:37:58,975 - Let's keep him! - Say what? 457 00:38:00,852 --> 00:38:02,020 Ahh! 458 00:38:02,103 --> 00:38:03,897 Listen. He's purring! 459 00:38:03,980 --> 00:38:07,066 - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. 460 00:38:07,150 --> 00:38:10,403 Lighten up? I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! 461 00:38:10,403 --> 00:38:10,653 Lighten up? I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! 462 00:38:12,738 --> 00:38:15,491 Shrek! 463 00:38:20,245 --> 00:38:21,246 Shrek? 464 00:38:32,215 --> 00:38:34,675 They're both festive, aren't they? 465 00:38:34,759 --> 00:38:36,677 What do you think, Harold? 466 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,013 Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine. 467 00:38:41,056 --> 00:38:44,685 Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. 468 00:38:44,768 --> 00:38:47,187 Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. 469 00:38:47,229 --> 00:38:49,564 How do we know there will even be a ball? 470 00:38:49,647 --> 00:38:51,566 Mom. Dad. 471 00:38:51,649 --> 00:38:55,278 - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. 472 00:38:55,903 --> 00:38:58,030 Mom, have you seen Shrek? 473 00:38:58,072 --> 00:39:00,908 I haven't. You should ask your father. 474 00:39:01,075 --> 00:39:05,621 Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. 475 00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:08,123 - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... 476 00:39:09,124 --> 00:39:11,751 Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? 477 00:39:11,835 --> 00:39:14,963 That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. 478 00:39:15,046 --> 00:39:18,800 Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. 479 00:39:18,883 --> 00:39:22,970 - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. 480 00:39:23,053 --> 00:39:26,890 I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. 481 00:39:26,974 --> 00:39:29,226 You know, after your little spat last night. 482 00:39:29,309 --> 00:39:31,603 Oh. You heard that, huh? 483 00:39:31,686 --> 00:39:33,396 The whole kingdom heard you. 484 00:39:33,438 --> 00:39:36,274 I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be... 485 00:39:36,357 --> 00:39:37,859 well, a bit of a brute. 486 00:39:37,942 --> 00:39:42,113 Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. 487 00:39:42,196 --> 00:39:45,616 Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. 488 00:39:46,367 --> 00:39:49,370 Shrek loves me for who I am. 489 00:39:49,453 --> 00:39:52,080 I would think you'd be happy for me. 490 00:39:52,122 --> 00:39:55,584 Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. 491 00:39:55,625 --> 00:39:58,920 Maybe you should do the same. 492 00:40:12,474 --> 00:40:14,101 No, really? 493 00:40:16,186 --> 00:40:18,063 Shh... 494 00:40:19,773 --> 00:40:21,524 Oh... 495 00:40:25,153 --> 00:40:29,365 Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. 496 00:40:29,448 --> 00:40:31,367 That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. 497 00:40:31,450 --> 00:40:34,912 She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. 498 00:40:34,995 --> 00:40:38,624 Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell! 499 00:40:43,795 --> 00:40:45,547 He makes me laugh. 500 00:40:50,968 --> 00:40:53,262 Hi. I'm here to see the... 501 00:40:53,346 --> 00:40:56,348 The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. 502 00:40:56,432 --> 00:40:59,393 Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! 503 00:41:00,769 --> 00:41:03,980 Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. 504 00:41:04,022 --> 00:41:06,816 Look, she's not seeing any clients today, OK? 505 00:41:06,858 --> 00:41:09,069 That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. 506 00:41:09,152 --> 00:41:10,111 The union? 507 00:41:10,195 --> 00:41:14,615 We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. 508 00:41:14,699 --> 00:41:16,409 Oh! Oh, right. 509 00:41:16,534 --> 00:41:19,578 Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? 510 00:41:19,662 --> 00:41:23,332 Uh... a little. We don't even have dental. 511 00:41:23,374 --> 00:41:25,083 They don't even have dental. 512 00:41:25,167 --> 00:41:27,502 Okay, we'll just have a look around. 513 00:41:27,544 --> 00:41:28,753 Oh. By the way. 514 00:41:28,837 --> 00:41:32,173 I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. 515 00:41:32,215 --> 00:41:35,301 - Know what I'm saying? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? 516 00:41:35,426 --> 00:41:38,679 - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. 517 00:42:08,082 --> 00:42:09,792 A drop of desire. 518 00:42:10,876 --> 00:42:12,711 Naughty! 519 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,547 A pinch of passion. 520 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,137 And just a hint of... 521 00:42:23,763 --> 00:42:24,931 lust! 522 00:42:28,476 --> 00:42:30,436 Excuse me. 523 00:42:30,519 --> 00:42:32,229 Sorry to barge in like this... 524 00:42:32,271 --> 00:42:35,440 What in Grimm's name are you doing here? 525 00:42:35,524 --> 00:42:40,487 Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. 526 00:42:40,570 --> 00:42:41,905 Oh-ho-ho! 527 00:42:41,946 --> 00:42:44,574 And there's some question as to why that is? 528 00:42:45,450 --> 00:42:47,618 Well, let's explore that, shall we? 529 00:42:49,287 --> 00:42:53,207 Ah. P, P, P... Princess. Cinderella. 530 00:42:53,374 --> 00:42:56,502 Here we are. "Lived happily ever after." Oh... 531 00:42:56,585 --> 00:42:58,754 No ogres! 532 00:42:58,795 --> 00:43:00,255 Let's see. Snow White. 533 00:43:00,297 --> 00:43:04,092 A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. 534 00:43:04,134 --> 00:43:06,428 Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! 535 00:43:06,469 --> 00:43:09,639 Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. 536 00:43:09,722 --> 00:43:12,683 The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... 537 00:43:12,767 --> 00:43:15,436 No, no, no, no, no! 538 00:43:15,478 --> 00:43:19,898 You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. 539 00:43:19,982 --> 00:43:21,608 All right, look, lady! 540 00:43:21,650 --> 00:43:25,362 Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! 541 00:43:26,821 --> 00:43:28,573 Your Monte Cristo and coffee. 542 00:43:28,656 --> 00:43:30,158 Oh! Sorry. 543 00:43:30,241 --> 00:43:32,285 Ah... that's okay. 544 00:43:32,368 --> 00:43:34,662 We were just leaving. 545 00:43:34,745 --> 00:43:37,415 Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. 546 00:43:37,498 --> 00:43:39,291 Just... go. 547 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:40,668 Come on, guys. 548 00:43:56,557 --> 00:43:58,476 TGIF, eh, buddy? 549 00:44:00,478 --> 00:44:03,147 Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? 550 00:44:12,364 --> 00:44:15,950 Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! 551 00:44:16,034 --> 00:44:17,994 Man, that stinks! 552 00:44:18,036 --> 00:44:21,289 You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. 553 00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:28,796 - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! 554 00:44:28,879 --> 00:44:31,965 Already our minds are becoming one. 555 00:44:32,049 --> 00:44:36,928 Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. 556 00:44:37,012 --> 00:44:38,638 Shrek, this is a bad idea. 557 00:44:38,722 --> 00:44:41,933 Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. 558 00:44:42,016 --> 00:44:45,353 Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? 559 00:44:45,394 --> 00:44:47,480 No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives, 560 00:44:47,563 --> 00:44:50,441 I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. 561 00:44:50,524 --> 00:44:51,817 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 562 00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:53,277 Shrek, are you off your nut? 563 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:54,945 Donkey, keep watch. 564 00:44:55,028 --> 00:44:56,988 Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. 565 00:44:57,072 --> 00:45:01,159 I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. 566 00:45:01,242 --> 00:45:04,162 I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. 567 00:45:04,245 --> 00:45:06,998 - What do you see? - Toad Stool Softener? 568 00:45:07,081 --> 00:45:11,127 I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. 569 00:45:11,210 --> 00:45:13,128 - Elfa Seltzer? - Uh-uh. 570 00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:16,673 - Hex Lax? - No! Try "handsome." 571 00:45:17,633 --> 00:45:19,092 Sorry. No handsome. 572 00:45:20,385 --> 00:45:23,430 Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"? 573 00:45:23,513 --> 00:45:25,640 Well, what does it do? 574 00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:29,060 It says "Beauty Divine." 575 00:45:29,102 --> 00:45:32,521 In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. 576 00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:34,148 Especially us talking ones. 577 00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:36,358 Donkey! 578 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:39,903 That'll have to do. We've got company. 579 00:45:47,369 --> 00:45:48,661 Can we get on with this? 580 00:45:51,956 --> 00:45:53,583 Hurry! 581 00:46:02,174 --> 00:46:03,634 Nice catch, Donkey! 582 00:46:03,801 --> 00:46:05,719 Finally! A good use for your mouth. 583 00:46:10,181 --> 00:46:11,182 Come on! 584 00:47:12,906 --> 00:47:17,619 I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! 585 00:47:17,702 --> 00:47:22,540 And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! 586 00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:27,003 - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. 587 00:47:27,086 --> 00:47:30,548 This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. 588 00:47:30,631 --> 00:47:32,758 Whoa, what happened here? 589 00:47:32,842 --> 00:47:35,928 - The ogre, that's what! - What? Where is he, Mom? 590 00:47:36,011 --> 00:47:38,513 I shall rend his head from his shoulders! 591 00:47:38,597 --> 00:47:41,016 I will smite him where he stands! 592 00:47:41,057 --> 00:47:45,103 He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! 593 00:47:45,854 --> 00:47:49,690 Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. 594 00:47:49,732 --> 00:47:52,360 We'll just have to come up with something smarter. 595 00:47:52,443 --> 00:47:54,487 Pardon. Um... 596 00:47:54,570 --> 00:47:58,824 Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. 597 00:47:58,907 --> 00:47:59,950 What? 598 00:48:00,993 --> 00:48:01,994 Oh... 599 00:48:02,869 --> 00:48:06,081 I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. 600 00:48:07,874 --> 00:48:11,586 "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. 601 00:48:11,669 --> 00:48:14,297 "For you and your true love. 602 00:48:14,380 --> 00:48:17,049 "If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. 603 00:48:17,133 --> 00:48:19,969 "Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." 604 00:48:20,052 --> 00:48:23,764 - You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. 605 00:48:24,806 --> 00:48:28,476 Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. 606 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,521 Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. 607 00:48:31,604 --> 00:48:35,024 It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be? 608 00:48:37,068 --> 00:48:40,029 See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. 609 00:48:40,196 --> 00:48:44,533 And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! 610 00:48:44,616 --> 00:48:47,661 Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... 611 00:48:47,744 --> 00:48:49,663 allow me to take the first sip. 612 00:48:49,746 --> 00:48:53,208 It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. 613 00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:55,418 Oh, no, no. I don't think so. 614 00:48:55,502 --> 00:48:58,087 If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. 615 00:48:58,171 --> 00:49:01,257 That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. 616 00:49:06,554 --> 00:49:08,347 How do you feel? 617 00:49:09,181 --> 00:49:12,642 I don't feel any different. I look any different? 618 00:49:12,684 --> 00:49:14,853 You still look like an ass to me. 619 00:49:14,936 --> 00:49:17,981 Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. 620 00:49:18,898 --> 00:49:22,819 - Well, here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek? 621 00:49:22,902 --> 00:49:26,614 - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. 622 00:49:26,656 --> 00:49:28,574 - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. 623 00:49:28,657 --> 00:49:30,326 - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! 624 00:49:30,409 --> 00:49:32,786 - But you love being an ogre! - I know! 625 00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:38,500 But I love Fiona more. 626 00:49:39,834 --> 00:49:41,711 Shrek, no! Wait! 627 00:49:54,473 --> 00:49:58,935 Got to be... I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion. 628 00:49:59,019 --> 00:50:00,812 Maybe it's a dud. 629 00:50:00,854 --> 00:50:01,229 Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. 630 00:50:01,229 --> 00:50:03,898 Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. 631 00:50:07,527 --> 00:50:11,155 Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. 632 00:50:11,197 --> 00:50:14,533 I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! 633 00:50:14,617 --> 00:50:17,953 Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! 634 00:50:18,037 --> 00:50:20,122 I'm melting! 635 00:50:20,205 --> 00:50:22,124 It's just the rain, Donkey. 636 00:50:23,083 --> 00:50:25,544 Oh. 637 00:51:07,082 --> 00:51:10,043 Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy 638 00:51:10,085 --> 00:51:12,712 and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. 639 00:51:13,838 --> 00:51:16,841 It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... 640 00:51:24,849 --> 00:51:26,642 Bet my bottom? 641 00:51:26,725 --> 00:51:28,060 I'm coming, Elizabeth! 642 00:51:28,102 --> 00:51:29,812 Donkey? 643 00:51:29,895 --> 00:51:31,772 Are you all right? 644 00:51:31,855 --> 00:51:35,734 - Hey, boss. Let's shave him. - D-Donkey? 645 00:51:45,117 --> 00:51:47,536 There you are! We missed you at dinner. 646 00:51:48,913 --> 00:51:50,372 What is it, darling? 647 00:51:50,456 --> 00:51:52,082 Dad... 648 00:51:52,166 --> 00:51:54,501 I've been thinking about what you said. 649 00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:57,379 And I'm going to set things right. 650 00:51:57,504 --> 00:52:00,006 Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. 651 00:52:00,090 --> 00:52:02,800 It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. 652 00:52:02,884 --> 00:52:05,636 I'm going to go out and find him. 653 00:52:05,720 --> 00:52:08,806 And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. 654 00:52:12,017 --> 00:52:13,811 Fiona, please! 655 00:52:13,894 --> 00:52:16,897 Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. 656 00:52:19,775 --> 00:52:20,984 Fiona! 657 00:53:00,854 --> 00:53:05,776 Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. 658 00:53:08,153 --> 00:53:09,696 Good morning, sleepyhead. 659 00:53:10,864 --> 00:53:12,365 Good morning! 660 00:53:12,448 --> 00:53:13,992 We love your kitty! 661 00:53:14,075 --> 00:53:17,828 - Oh... My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. 662 00:53:17,870 --> 00:53:19,455 Thanks. 663 00:53:19,538 --> 00:53:20,539 Uhh! 664 00:53:23,042 --> 00:53:24,626 Aahh! 665 00:53:24,710 --> 00:53:25,669 Oh... 666 00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:30,173 A cute button nose? 667 00:53:30,215 --> 00:53:32,259 Thick, wavy locks? 668 00:53:33,176 --> 00:53:35,178 Taut, round buttocks? 669 00:53:36,012 --> 00:53:37,555 I'm... I'm... 670 00:53:37,639 --> 00:53:38,973 - Gorgeous! - I'll say. 671 00:53:39,015 --> 00:53:40,725 I'm Jill. What's your name? 672 00:53:40,808 --> 00:53:44,979 - Um... Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? 673 00:53:45,020 --> 00:53:47,356 - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. 674 00:53:47,439 --> 00:53:50,192 - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. 675 00:53:50,275 --> 00:53:50,734 Get in line. 676 00:53:50,734 --> 00:53:51,860 Get in line. 677 00:53:51,902 --> 00:53:54,863 - Have you seen my donkey? - Who are you calling donkey? 678 00:53:56,031 --> 00:53:59,784 - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! 679 00:53:59,909 --> 00:54:00,910 I can whinny. 680 00:54:00,994 --> 00:54:03,121 I can count. 681 00:54:03,454 --> 00:54:06,374 Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! 682 00:54:07,041 --> 00:54:10,169 That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? 683 00:54:10,252 --> 00:54:13,422 "Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad." 684 00:54:13,505 --> 00:54:14,589 Pah! 685 00:54:14,673 --> 00:54:19,177 Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. 686 00:54:19,302 --> 00:54:22,847 "Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders." 687 00:54:22,931 --> 00:54:26,017 I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! 688 00:54:28,102 --> 00:54:29,311 What? 689 00:54:29,311 --> 00:54:32,982 Señor? "To make the effects of this potion permanent, 690 00:54:33,065 --> 00:54:36,652 "the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight." 691 00:54:36,735 --> 00:54:39,071 Midnight? Why is it always midnight? 692 00:54:39,112 --> 00:54:41,948 - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. 693 00:54:42,032 --> 00:54:44,534 I'll be true... enough. 694 00:54:44,701 --> 00:54:48,079 Look, ladies, I already have a true love. 695 00:54:48,162 --> 00:54:49,205 Oh... 696 00:54:49,288 --> 00:54:50,831 And take it from me, Boss. 697 00:54:50,915 --> 00:54:54,043 You are going to have one satisfied Princess. 698 00:54:54,084 --> 00:54:56,754 And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. 699 00:54:56,795 --> 00:54:59,256 Inside you're the same old mean, salty... 700 00:54:59,339 --> 00:55:01,341 - Easy. - ... cantankerous, foul, 701 00:55:01,425 --> 00:55:03,218 angry ogre you always been. 702 00:55:03,301 --> 00:55:05,470 And you're still the same annoying donkey. 703 00:55:05,553 --> 00:55:08,139 Yeah. 704 00:55:08,223 --> 00:55:09,766 Well... 705 00:55:10,433 --> 00:55:14,270 Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. 706 00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,313 First things first. 707 00:55:16,397 --> 00:55:18,899 We need to get you out of those clothes. 708 00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:24,279 - Ready? - Ready! 709 00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:30,201 Driver, stop! 710 00:55:30,326 --> 00:55:33,413 Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! 711 00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:35,206 I'm blind! Tell the truth. 712 00:55:35,289 --> 00:55:36,999 Will I ever play the violin again? 713 00:55:37,083 --> 00:55:38,793 You poor creature! 714 00:55:38,876 --> 00:55:41,128 Is there anything I can do for you? 715 00:55:41,170 --> 00:55:43,422 Well, I guess there is one thing. 716 00:55:43,505 --> 00:55:46,466 Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. 717 00:55:50,512 --> 00:55:52,806 - Not bad. - Not bad at all. 718 00:56:00,771 --> 00:56:04,108 Father? Is everything all right, Father? 719 00:56:09,363 --> 00:56:13,283 Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. 720 00:56:13,325 --> 00:56:16,870 Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. 721 00:57:00,619 --> 00:57:01,620 Halt! 722 00:57:01,703 --> 00:57:05,165 Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. 723 00:57:28,394 --> 00:57:31,022 - Shrek? - ♪ Ch-Ch-Changes 724 00:57:39,405 --> 00:57:40,406 Fiona? 725 00:57:43,784 --> 00:57:45,702 Hello, handsome. 726 00:57:47,495 --> 00:57:48,872 Shrek! 727 00:57:48,997 --> 00:57:52,292 - Princess! - Donkey? 728 00:57:52,375 --> 00:57:54,544 Wow! That potion worked on you, too? 729 00:57:54,627 --> 00:57:55,878 What potion? 730 00:57:55,962 --> 00:57:59,131 Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... 731 00:57:59,215 --> 00:58:01,425 Now, we're sexy! 732 00:58:02,718 --> 00:58:03,802 Shrek? 733 00:58:08,015 --> 00:58:10,642 For you, baby... I could be. 734 00:58:10,809 --> 00:58:13,061 - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? 735 00:58:13,186 --> 00:58:15,438 He went inside looking for you. 736 00:58:17,315 --> 00:58:18,316 Shrek? 737 00:58:19,275 --> 00:58:21,902 Fiona! Fiona! 738 00:58:23,821 --> 00:58:25,990 You want to dance, pretty boy? 739 00:58:28,826 --> 00:58:32,496 Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? 740 00:58:33,830 --> 00:58:34,831 Fiona? 741 00:58:37,292 --> 00:58:38,501 Shrek? 742 00:58:38,585 --> 00:58:41,421 Aye, Fiona. It is me. 743 00:58:41,462 --> 00:58:43,172 What happened to your voice? 744 00:58:43,256 --> 00:58:47,384 The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. 745 00:58:47,468 --> 00:58:50,095 But not the way I feel about you. 746 00:58:50,179 --> 00:58:51,638 Fiona? 747 00:58:52,472 --> 00:58:55,392 - Charming? - Do you think so? 748 00:58:55,475 --> 00:58:59,312 Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. 749 00:58:59,354 --> 00:59:02,982 - Um... Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. 750 00:59:03,066 --> 00:59:06,485 I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, 751 00:59:06,652 --> 00:59:09,071 but, well, what do you think? 752 00:59:13,325 --> 00:59:15,994 Fiona! Fiona! 753 00:59:17,663 --> 00:59:19,331 Fiona! 754 00:59:19,414 --> 00:59:23,418 - Fiona! - Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! 755 00:59:23,501 --> 00:59:27,005 Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. 756 00:59:29,632 --> 00:59:33,010 Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? 757 00:59:33,886 --> 00:59:35,971 I just wanted her to be happy. 758 00:59:36,055 --> 00:59:38,348 And now she can be. 759 00:59:38,432 --> 00:59:40,434 Oh, sweetheart. 760 00:59:40,517 --> 00:59:44,354 She's finally found the prince of her dreams. 761 00:59:44,437 --> 00:59:48,483 But look at me. Look what I've done for her. 762 00:59:48,566 --> 00:59:51,861 It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. 763 00:59:51,944 --> 00:59:56,115 She's a princess, and you're an ogre. 764 00:59:56,198 --> 01:00:00,202 That's something no amount of potion will ever change. 765 01:00:07,584 --> 01:00:09,461 But... 766 01:00:09,544 --> 01:00:11,045 I love her. 767 01:00:11,129 --> 01:00:13,965 If you really love her... 768 01:00:14,048 --> 01:00:16,092 you'll let her go. 769 01:00:21,013 --> 01:00:22,014 Shrek? 770 01:00:22,097 --> 01:00:23,182 Señor. 771 01:00:23,265 --> 01:00:26,268 What's going on? Where are you going? 772 01:00:32,482 --> 01:00:36,903 You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? 773 01:00:51,416 --> 01:00:53,084 There you go, boys. 774 01:00:53,168 --> 01:00:55,128 Just leave the bottle, Doris. 775 01:00:55,211 --> 01:00:57,589 Hey. Why the long face? 776 01:00:58,590 --> 01:01:01,217 It was all just a stupid mistake. 777 01:01:02,135 --> 01:01:05,971 I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. 778 01:01:08,182 --> 01:01:10,100 I hate Mondays. 779 01:01:10,142 --> 01:01:13,812 I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. 780 01:01:13,895 --> 01:01:15,480 What choice do I have? 781 01:01:15,564 --> 01:01:19,025 She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. 782 01:01:19,109 --> 01:01:21,194 Come on. Is he really that good-looking? 783 01:01:21,277 --> 01:01:23,738 Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! 784 01:01:23,821 --> 01:01:27,033 He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. 785 01:01:27,116 --> 01:01:29,702 - Oh. He sounds dreamy. - You know... 786 01:01:29,785 --> 01:01:33,122 shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. 787 01:01:35,916 --> 01:01:39,920 Look, guys. It's for the best. 788 01:01:39,961 --> 01:01:41,379 Mom and Dad approve, 789 01:01:41,463 --> 01:01:44,799 and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. 790 01:01:44,883 --> 01:01:46,759 Everybody wins. 791 01:01:47,802 --> 01:01:49,053 Except for you. 792 01:01:49,136 --> 01:01:52,431 I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. 793 01:01:52,473 --> 01:01:53,849 Aye. 794 01:01:54,850 --> 01:01:57,436 And that's why I have to let her go. 795 01:01:58,228 --> 01:02:01,273 Excuse me, is she here? 796 01:02:01,356 --> 01:02:03,525 She's, uh... in the back. 797 01:02:04,818 --> 01:02:06,611 Oh, hello again. 798 01:02:10,823 --> 01:02:12,950 Fairy Godmother. Charming. 799 01:02:13,034 --> 01:02:17,371 You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. 800 01:02:17,454 --> 01:02:23,251 Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. 801 01:02:23,335 --> 01:02:26,838 - FYl, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. 802 01:02:27,005 --> 01:02:28,798 I mean, how charming can I be 803 01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,259 when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? 804 01:02:31,342 --> 01:02:33,386 No, no, it's nobody's fault. 805 01:02:33,469 --> 01:02:36,847 Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? 806 01:02:36,889 --> 01:02:41,227 - What? - You can't force someone to fall in love! 807 01:02:41,310 --> 01:02:44,521 I beg to differ. I do it all the time! 808 01:02:44,563 --> 01:02:49,025 Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, 809 01:02:49,067 --> 01:02:51,027 which will be Charming. 810 01:02:52,153 --> 01:02:55,156 - Umm... no. - What did you say? 811 01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,617 I can't. I won't do it. 812 01:02:57,700 --> 01:02:59,285 Oh, yes, you will. 813 01:02:59,368 --> 01:03:02,955 If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. 814 01:03:03,038 --> 01:03:06,583 And I can take it away just as easily. 815 01:03:06,667 --> 01:03:09,878 Is that what you want? Is it? 816 01:03:10,879 --> 01:03:13,340 - No. - Good boy. 817 01:03:13,423 --> 01:03:15,175 Now, we have to go. 818 01:03:15,258 --> 01:03:17,510 I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. 819 01:03:17,552 --> 01:03:19,846 He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. 820 01:03:19,887 --> 01:03:22,723 He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. 821 01:03:22,807 --> 01:03:24,475 Oh. Thank you, Mother. 822 01:03:24,558 --> 01:03:26,393 Mother? 823 01:03:26,435 --> 01:03:29,605 Um... Mary! A talking horse! 824 01:03:29,688 --> 01:03:30,689 The ogre! 825 01:03:32,566 --> 01:03:36,570 Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! 826 01:03:38,238 --> 01:03:41,199 The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus 827 01:03:41,282 --> 01:03:44,660 here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! 828 01:03:44,744 --> 01:03:47,830 The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them 829 01:03:47,913 --> 01:03:49,665 like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. 830 01:03:49,748 --> 01:03:51,709 Everyone who's anyone has turned out 831 01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:54,294 to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 832 01:03:54,378 --> 01:03:57,381 And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! 833 01:03:57,464 --> 01:03:58,840 Look! Hansel and Gretel! 834 01:03:59,758 --> 01:04:01,551 What the heck are the crumbs for? 835 01:04:01,593 --> 01:04:04,679 And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! 836 01:04:04,762 --> 01:04:07,432 Oh, aren't they adorable! 837 01:04:07,473 --> 01:04:10,601 Here comes Sleeping Beauty! 838 01:04:10,685 --> 01:04:12,603 Tired old thing. 839 01:04:13,395 --> 01:04:16,273 Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? 840 01:04:16,315 --> 01:04:19,484 Oh. It's the one, it's the only... 841 01:04:19,568 --> 01:04:22,154 It's the Fairy Godmother! 842 01:04:22,237 --> 01:04:25,448 Hello, Far, Far Away! 843 01:04:26,658 --> 01:04:28,785 Can I get a whoop whoop? 844 01:04:30,119 --> 01:04:33,539 May all your endings be happy and... 845 01:04:33,623 --> 01:04:36,709 Well, you know the rest! 846 01:04:36,792 --> 01:04:39,753 We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball 847 01:04:39,837 --> 01:04:41,755 after these messages. 848 01:04:41,797 --> 01:04:43,423 I hate these ball shows. 849 01:04:43,590 --> 01:04:46,676 They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture! 850 01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:50,388 I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. 851 01:04:50,471 --> 01:04:53,141 Whizzes on you guys. 852 01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:55,309 Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! 853 01:04:55,393 --> 01:04:57,645 No, to your left. Your left! 854 01:05:00,689 --> 01:05:03,859 - Tonight on "Knights"... - Now here's a good show! 855 01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:07,362 We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. 856 01:05:07,446 --> 01:05:09,531 It's time to teach these madcap mammals 857 01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:12,325 their "devil may mare" attitudes just won't fly. 858 01:05:13,743 --> 01:05:17,497 Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! 859 01:05:18,664 --> 01:05:20,708 I have to talk to Princess Fiona! 860 01:05:20,791 --> 01:05:22,835 - We warned you! - Ow! Ow! 861 01:05:22,918 --> 01:05:25,379 Did someone let the cat out of the bag? 862 01:05:25,462 --> 01:05:27,464 You capitalist pig dogs! 863 01:05:32,969 --> 01:05:34,637 - Catnip! - That's not mine. 864 01:05:35,722 --> 01:05:37,807 Find Princess Fiona! 865 01:05:37,849 --> 01:05:39,559 I'm a donkey! 866 01:05:39,642 --> 01:05:42,311 Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! 867 01:05:43,479 --> 01:05:44,939 Quick! Rewind it! 868 01:05:45,940 --> 01:05:48,442 I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! 869 01:06:16,343 --> 01:06:17,344 Darling? 870 01:06:18,386 --> 01:06:20,347 Ah. I thought I might find you here. 871 01:06:20,388 --> 01:06:24,017 How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? 872 01:06:25,226 --> 01:06:26,561 I'm not going. 873 01:06:26,644 --> 01:06:29,689 The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. 874 01:06:29,730 --> 01:06:33,692 There's just one problem. That's not my husband. 875 01:06:34,902 --> 01:06:36,570 I mean, look at him. 876 01:06:38,864 --> 01:06:40,365 Yes, he is a bit different, 877 01:06:40,407 --> 01:06:43,493 but people change for the ones they love. 878 01:06:43,577 --> 01:06:46,788 You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. 879 01:06:46,871 --> 01:06:48,623 Change? 880 01:06:48,706 --> 01:06:50,917 He's completely lost his mind! 881 01:06:50,958 --> 01:06:54,545 Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? 882 01:06:54,587 --> 01:06:57,506 You might find you like this new Shrek. 883 01:06:57,590 --> 01:07:00,843 But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. 884 01:07:01,885 --> 01:07:03,970 I'd give anything to have him back. 885 01:07:07,182 --> 01:07:10,226 Darling. That's mine. Decaf. 886 01:07:10,393 --> 01:07:12,270 Otherwise I'm up all night. 887 01:07:19,193 --> 01:07:20,819 Thanks. 888 01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:23,405 I got to get out of here! 889 01:07:23,405 --> 01:07:24,781 I got to get out of here! 890 01:07:24,865 --> 01:07:27,534 You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! 891 01:07:27,617 --> 01:07:29,077 What about my Miranda rights? 892 01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:31,955 You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. 893 01:07:31,996 --> 01:07:34,249 Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! 894 01:07:34,290 --> 01:07:36,876 You have the right to remain silent. 895 01:07:37,001 --> 01:07:39,545 What you lack is the capacity. 896 01:07:39,629 --> 01:07:43,132 I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad. 897 01:07:43,215 --> 01:07:45,509 Shrek? Donkey? 898 01:07:46,510 --> 01:07:47,970 Too late. 899 01:07:48,095 --> 01:07:51,306 Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! 900 01:07:51,431 --> 01:07:52,641 Oh... 901 01:07:56,895 --> 01:07:58,730 Fire in ze hole! 902 01:08:17,580 --> 01:08:18,873 Look out below! 903 01:08:21,334 --> 01:08:23,336 Quick! Tell a lie! 904 01:08:23,377 --> 01:08:26,130 - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! 905 01:08:26,255 --> 01:08:29,258 Say something crazy like "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!" 906 01:08:29,341 --> 01:08:31,427 I am wearing ladies' underwear. 907 01:08:35,264 --> 01:08:37,891 - Are you? - I most certainly am not! 908 01:08:38,850 --> 01:08:41,186 It looks like you most certainly am are! 909 01:08:41,227 --> 01:08:42,812 - I am not! - What kind? 910 01:08:42,854 --> 01:08:45,481 - It's a thong! - Oww! They're briefs! 911 01:08:45,606 --> 01:08:46,941 - Are not. - Are too! 912 01:08:47,024 --> 01:08:48,734 - Are not! - Are too! 913 01:08:48,818 --> 01:08:50,528 Here we go. Hang tight. 914 01:08:54,031 --> 01:08:56,992 Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! 915 01:08:57,701 --> 01:08:58,660 Ow! 916 01:09:01,037 --> 01:09:03,373 - Excuse me? - What? Puss! 917 01:09:03,415 --> 01:09:05,583 Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? 918 01:09:05,667 --> 01:09:07,585 - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! 919 01:09:07,669 --> 01:09:09,504 We've got to stop that kiss! 920 01:09:09,545 --> 01:09:11,422 I thought you was going to let her go. 921 01:09:11,506 --> 01:09:13,799 I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. 922 01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:17,094 Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! 923 01:09:17,177 --> 01:09:18,971 It's impossible! We'll never get in. 924 01:09:19,054 --> 01:09:22,015 The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! 925 01:09:22,099 --> 01:09:27,979 Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. 926 01:09:32,233 --> 01:09:36,070 - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? 927 01:09:36,112 --> 01:09:39,615 Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? 928 01:09:39,698 --> 01:09:42,159 Because we're gonna need flour. 929 01:09:42,242 --> 01:09:45,287 Lots and lots of flour. 930 01:09:47,581 --> 01:09:50,083 Gingy! 931 01:09:50,125 --> 01:09:54,545 Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! 932 01:09:58,549 --> 01:10:00,509 It's alive! 933 01:10:08,684 --> 01:10:12,520 Run, run, run, as fast you can! 934 01:10:19,736 --> 01:10:21,862 Go, baby, go! 935 01:10:23,364 --> 01:10:26,325 There it is, Mongo! To the castle! 936 01:10:26,408 --> 01:10:30,787 No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! 937 01:10:38,586 --> 01:10:41,297 Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! 938 01:10:42,882 --> 01:10:45,259 That's right! Follow the pretty pony! 939 01:10:45,384 --> 01:10:47,845 Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! 940 01:10:47,928 --> 01:10:49,597 Pretty pony. 941 01:10:51,265 --> 01:10:53,183 Ladies and gentlemen. 942 01:10:53,267 --> 01:10:58,021 Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. 943 01:11:00,482 --> 01:11:02,650 Shrek, what are you doing? 944 01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:05,945 I'm just playing the part, Fiona. 945 01:11:05,987 --> 01:11:07,905 Is that glitter on your lips? 946 01:11:07,989 --> 01:11:10,908 Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? 947 01:11:10,991 --> 01:11:14,828 - Ugh! What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... 948 01:11:17,748 --> 01:11:20,000 C Minor, put it in C Minor. 949 01:11:21,084 --> 01:11:22,544 Ladies and gentlemen. 950 01:11:25,130 --> 01:11:28,049 I'd like to dedicate this song to... 951 01:11:28,132 --> 01:11:31,594 Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 952 01:11:32,595 --> 01:11:34,346 Fiona, my Princess. 953 01:11:34,430 --> 01:11:36,974 Will you honor me with a dance? 954 01:11:45,106 --> 01:11:46,232 Dance! 955 01:11:57,034 --> 01:11:58,410 Since when do you dance? 956 01:11:58,494 --> 01:12:01,372 Fiona, my dearest, if there's one thing I know, 957 01:12:01,455 --> 01:12:04,750 it's that love is full of surprises. 958 01:12:14,717 --> 01:12:16,219 Hit it! 959 01:12:20,723 --> 01:12:24,768 All right, big fella! Let's crash this party! 960 01:12:26,186 --> 01:12:27,938 Man the catapults! 961 01:12:28,563 --> 01:12:30,732 Aim! Fire! 962 01:12:31,858 --> 01:12:35,028 - Brace yourselves! - Ooh! Purty! 963 01:12:42,326 --> 01:12:44,578 Not the gumdrop button! 964 01:12:51,001 --> 01:12:52,794 Incoming! 965 01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:55,505 Ha-ha! All right! 966 01:13:04,263 --> 01:13:05,931 Go, Mongo! Go! 967 01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:11,770 Man the cauldrons! 968 01:13:16,608 --> 01:13:18,610 After you, Mongo. 969 01:13:21,321 --> 01:13:25,616 - That's it! Heave-ho! - Watch out! 970 01:13:28,411 --> 01:13:29,704 Shrek! 971 01:13:33,582 --> 01:13:35,375 More heat, less foam! 972 01:13:46,302 --> 01:13:48,930 Heave! Ho! 973 01:13:54,768 --> 01:13:57,604 No...! 974 01:14:27,007 --> 01:14:28,592 Come on! 975 01:14:29,843 --> 01:14:30,969 Look out! 976 01:14:31,052 --> 01:14:34,764 Be good. 977 01:14:36,099 --> 01:14:38,601 He needs me! Let me go! 978 01:14:42,021 --> 01:14:43,647 Donkey! 979 01:14:52,906 --> 01:14:54,365 Puss! 980 01:14:57,368 --> 01:14:59,871 Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! 981 01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:05,125 Today, I repay my debt. 982 01:15:10,589 --> 01:15:12,716 Aww... 983 01:15:13,383 --> 01:15:15,677 On guard! 984 01:15:33,068 --> 01:15:37,697 - Hey, you! Back away from my wife. - Shrek? 985 01:15:38,573 --> 01:15:43,161 You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. 986 01:15:43,244 --> 01:15:45,496 - Now! - Pigs und blanket! 987 01:15:48,249 --> 01:15:49,792 Pinocchio! Get the wand! 988 01:15:49,875 --> 01:15:51,627 I see London! I see France! 989 01:15:51,710 --> 01:15:53,045 Whah! 990 01:15:55,297 --> 01:15:56,757 I'm a real boy! 991 01:16:02,887 --> 01:16:04,806 Ah! Ah! Aaahhh! 992 01:16:06,599 --> 01:16:07,558 Catch! 993 01:16:08,851 --> 01:16:09,977 Donkey! 994 01:16:12,646 --> 01:16:13,647 Oh! 995 01:16:14,231 --> 01:16:15,733 I'm a real boy. Aah! 996 01:16:15,774 --> 01:16:17,276 Oh! 997 01:16:19,111 --> 01:16:20,529 - Ha! - Ah. 998 01:16:20,612 --> 01:16:22,364 That's mine! 999 01:16:26,493 --> 01:16:28,077 Pray for mercy, from Puss... 1000 01:16:28,203 --> 01:16:29,787 And Donkey! 1001 01:16:29,871 --> 01:16:32,832 She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! 1002 01:16:36,168 --> 01:16:37,169 No! 1003 01:16:54,811 --> 01:16:56,854 Hi-ya! 1004 01:16:58,939 --> 01:17:01,317 - Fiona. - Shrek. 1005 01:17:01,400 --> 01:17:05,404 Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion! 1006 01:17:05,487 --> 01:17:09,324 Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. 1007 01:17:09,491 --> 01:17:11,826 - Mommy! - Mommy? 1008 01:17:12,452 --> 01:17:15,205 I told you. 1009 01:17:15,288 --> 01:17:19,500 Ogres don't live happily ever after. 1010 01:17:29,134 --> 01:17:30,135 Woo! 1011 01:17:31,011 --> 01:17:31,970 Ha! 1012 01:17:43,022 --> 01:17:45,024 Oh, Dad! 1013 01:17:48,986 --> 01:17:50,863 - Is he...? - Yup. 1014 01:17:52,239 --> 01:17:54,032 He croaked. 1015 01:17:56,201 --> 01:17:57,452 Harold? 1016 01:17:57,536 --> 01:17:58,495 Dad? 1017 01:17:59,454 --> 01:18:01,873 I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. 1018 01:18:01,915 --> 01:18:04,208 - And he gave you a hard time! - Donkey! 1019 01:18:04,250 --> 01:18:06,502 No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. 1020 01:18:07,420 --> 01:18:08,504 To both of you. 1021 01:18:08,587 --> 01:18:11,549 I only wanted what was best for Fiona. 1022 01:18:12,549 --> 01:18:14,802 But I can see now... 1023 01:18:14,885 --> 01:18:16,553 she already has it. 1024 01:18:17,554 --> 01:18:19,681 Shrek, Fiona... 1025 01:18:19,764 --> 01:18:24,686 Will you accept an old frog's apologies... 1026 01:18:24,727 --> 01:18:27,563 and my blessing? 1027 01:18:27,605 --> 01:18:29,899 Harold? I'm sorry, Lillian. 1028 01:18:29,982 --> 01:18:33,527 I just wish I could be the man you deserve. 1029 01:18:34,778 --> 01:18:37,948 You're more that man today than you ever were... 1030 01:18:38,031 --> 01:18:39,992 warts and all. 1031 01:18:43,954 --> 01:18:46,289 Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! 1032 01:18:46,373 --> 01:18:47,499 Midnight! 1033 01:18:48,249 --> 01:18:51,210 Fiona. Is this what you want? 1034 01:18:52,211 --> 01:18:54,255 To be this way forever? 1035 01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:58,050 - What? - Because if you kiss me now... 1036 01:18:58,092 --> 01:18:59,802 we can stay like this. 1037 01:19:00,761 --> 01:19:02,846 You'd do that? 1038 01:19:02,930 --> 01:19:04,890 - For me? - Yes. 1039 01:19:13,690 --> 01:19:16,526 I want what any princess wants. 1040 01:19:16,609 --> 01:19:19,278 To live happily ever after... 1041 01:19:23,407 --> 01:19:26,076 with the ogre I married. 1042 01:19:29,121 --> 01:19:32,123 Whatever happens, I must not cry! 1043 01:19:32,207 --> 01:19:34,292 You cannot make me cry! 1044 01:19:56,438 --> 01:19:57,814 Whoa! 1045 01:19:59,357 --> 01:20:02,735 No. No, no. Aaah! Ow. 1046 01:20:05,988 --> 01:20:07,698 Oh, no. 1047 01:20:23,713 --> 01:20:28,592 Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me. 1048 01:20:32,012 --> 01:20:35,432 Now, where were we? 1049 01:20:35,516 --> 01:20:37,851 Oh. I remember. 1050 01:20:44,899 --> 01:20:48,986 Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta? 1051 01:20:49,028 --> 01:20:50,655 Uno, dos, quatro, hit it! 1052 01:20:57,911 --> 01:20:59,413 Puss and Donkey, y'all... 1053 01:21:05,043 --> 01:21:07,712 - Sing it, Puss! - ♪ I feel a premonition 1054 01:21:11,799 --> 01:21:12,842 Here we go! 1055 01:21:43,954 --> 01:21:45,289 Hey gorgeous! 1056 01:22:00,261 --> 01:22:03,931 - Say it one more time now! - ♪ Living the vida loca 1057 01:22:09,269 --> 01:22:13,190 Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! 1058 01:24:16,054 --> 01:24:18,639 Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. 1059 01:24:18,723 --> 01:24:20,057 Come on, join us. 1060 01:24:20,099 --> 01:24:24,186 Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. 1061 01:24:24,270 --> 01:24:27,689 We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! 1062 01:24:29,358 --> 01:24:30,400 Hey, baby! 1063 01:24:32,569 --> 01:24:35,989 Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! 1064 01:24:36,948 --> 01:24:38,241 Baby, where you been? 1065 01:24:38,283 --> 01:24:40,576 I'm sorry, too. 1066 01:24:40,618 --> 01:24:43,371 I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. 1067 01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:44,997 What? Say it one more time. 1068 01:24:45,081 --> 01:24:47,708 What you talking about? Are you serious? 1069 01:24:50,252 --> 01:24:52,087 Papa! 1070 01:24:58,718 --> 01:25:01,095 Look at our little mutant babies! 1071 01:25:03,723 --> 01:25:05,446 I got to get a job.