1 00:01:01,183 --> 00:01:01,195 Yo. 2 00:01:01,196 --> 00:01:01,220 Hey, I was doing some research for next year... 3 00:01:01,221 --> 00:01:01,254 and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. 4 00:01:01,255 --> 00:01:01,290 - The Vag-tastic Voyage. - Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage? 5 00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:01,312 The Vag-tastic Voyage is the one where... 6 00:01:01,313 --> 00:01:01,351 they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van... 7 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:01,373 and then they bang them in the van. 8 00:01:01,374 --> 00:01:01,389 It's like 13 bucks a month... 9 00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:01,409 and you get access to other sites. 10 00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:01,460 Like one's Latina, one's Asian, you know, there's one for fetishes... 11 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:01,490 like feet and pee-pee and shit and stuff like that. 12 00:01:01,491 --> 00:01:01,512 That's disgusting. You're like an animal. 13 00:01:01,513 --> 00:01:01,542 I'm— What? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man. 14 00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:01,566 Don't make me feel weird because I like porn. 15 00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:01,594 You're weird for not liking porn. I'm normal as shit. 16 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:01,615 Peeing on people. That's normal? 17 00:01:01,616 --> 00:01:01,644 Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it. 18 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:01,672 I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay? 19 00:01:01,673 --> 00:01:01,701 I don't know what I'm gonna be into 10 years from now. 20 00:01:01,702 --> 00:01:01,721 I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff. 21 00:01:01,722 --> 00:01:01,759 I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value. 22 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:01,792 Like some editing, transition, something. Some music. 23 00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:01,836 Yeah, well, I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. 24 00:01:01,837 --> 00:01:01,856 They're hard to get ahold of, okay? 25 00:01:01,857 --> 00:01:01,890 Plus your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit. 26 00:01:01,891 --> 00:01:01,963 Yeah, you're right. I probably should pick the one with the least dirty name. 27 00:01:01,964 --> 00:01:01,989 What about, like, Perfect Ten? 28 00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:02,011 Something like that, you know? 29 00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:02,029 Like Perfect Ten? 30 00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:02,053 Because that could be any number of things. 31 00:01:02,054 --> 00:01:02,099 They can't really get you for that. That could be, like, a bowling website. 32 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:02,140 Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern. 33 00:01:02,141 --> 00:01:02,153 I didn't realize that. 34 00:01:02,154 --> 00:01:02,196 Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself? 35 00:01:02,197 --> 00:01:02,213 Not for me. 36 00:01:02,214 --> 00:01:02,239 Hi. 37 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:02,276 - Thanks for taking him, Seth. - No— No problem, Jane. 38 00:01:02,277 --> 00:01:02,303 - How are you? - Good. 39 00:01:02,304 --> 00:01:02,331 Beautiful. 40 00:01:02,332 --> 00:01:02,352 - Don't touch that. - What are you—? 41 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:02,384 - I'm not a piece of meat. - You two are funny. 42 00:01:02,385 --> 00:01:02,421 I can't imagine what you're gonna do without each other next year. 43 00:01:02,422 --> 00:01:02,453 Evan told me you didn't get into Dartmouth. 44 00:01:02,454 --> 00:01:02,500 I got into some schools, some pretty good ones. So I'll be fine. 45 00:01:02,501 --> 00:01:02,536 - You gonna miss each other? - No. Miss each other? No, thank you. 46 00:01:02,537 --> 00:01:02,556 I don't— I don't miss each other. 47 00:01:02,557 --> 00:01:02,578 I'm gonna cry myself to sleep every night. 48 00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:02,597 - Me too. - When I'm out partying. 49 00:01:02,598 --> 00:01:02,621 Go to school, boys. 50 00:01:02,622 --> 00:01:02,665 - Bye, Mom. - Bye, Jane. 51 00:01:02,666 --> 00:01:02,720 I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby. 52 00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:02,889 Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick. 53 00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:02,913 Hey, Seth, you can't park in the faculty lot. 54 00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:02,964 Don't be such a vagine, man. I gotta get a Red Bull before class. 55 00:01:02,965 --> 00:01:02,994 You're being an idiot. You shouldn't have parked there. 56 00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:03,013 Fuck it. I'm about to graduate. 57 00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:03,053 They should be sucking on my ball sac. 58 00:01:03,054 --> 00:01:03,123 It's the least they could do for stealing three years of my life. 59 00:01:03,124 --> 00:01:03,165 - Oh, fuck me. - Look at those nipples. 60 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:03,188 They're like little baby toes. 61 00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:03,214 It's not fair they get to flaunt that stuff... 62 00:01:03,215 --> 00:01:03,239 and I have to hide every erection I get. 63 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:03,271 You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. 64 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:03,295 It hides it and it feels awesome. 65 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:03,324 I almost blew a load into my bellybutton. 66 00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:03,360 I mean, just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners... 67 00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:03,381 and just, like, wanted to see them. 68 00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:03,417 I mean, that's the world I one day wanna live in. 69 00:01:03,418 --> 00:01:03,454 It's been two years since I've seen an actual human female nipple. 70 00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:03,478 Shauna? Shauna was two years ago now? 71 00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:03,491 Yeah. 72 00:01:03,492 --> 00:01:03,520 Yeah, I guess so. But she was insanely hot. 73 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:03,558 Exactly. She was too hot, okay? That's what sucks. 74 00:01:03,559 --> 00:01:03,586 How can that suck? I'd be psyched if I got with her. 75 00:01:03,587 --> 00:01:03,605 You got, like, two dozen handjobs. 76 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:03,637 Yes, and three-quarters of a blowjob, but who's counting? 77 00:01:03,638 --> 00:01:03,662 Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career... 78 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:03,682 and it happened way too early. 79 00:01:03,683 --> 00:01:03,706 - You're like Orson Welles. - Exactly! 80 00:01:03,707 --> 00:01:03,736 If I'd paced myself, I'd be having at least steady sex... 81 00:01:03,737 --> 00:01:03,753 with a decent-looking girl. 82 00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:03,788 I honestly see now why Orson Welles ate his fat ass to death. 83 00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:03,810 You'll have sex in college, everyone does. 84 00:01:03,811 --> 00:01:03,847 But the point is to be good at sex by the time you get to college. 85 00:01:03,848 --> 00:01:03,881 You don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy. 86 00:01:03,882 --> 00:01:03,905 I still think you have a chance with Jules. 87 00:01:03,906 --> 00:01:03,927 She got incredibly hot over last summer... 88 00:01:03,928 --> 00:01:03,951 and she obviously hasn't realized it yet... 89 00:01:03,952 --> 00:01:03,983 because she's still talking to you and flirting with you. 90 00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:04,019 Are you out of your mind? Look at Jules' dating record, okay? 91 00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:04,058 She dated Dan Remick, who's had a six-pack since, like, kindergarten. 92 00:01:04,059 --> 00:01:04,100 Jason Stone, who looks like fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir. 93 00:01:04,101 --> 00:01:04,128 Matt Muir. He's the sweetest guy ever. 94 00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:04,150 Have you ever stared into his eyes? 95 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:04,192 It was like the first time I heard the Beatles. 96 00:01:04,193 --> 00:01:04,217 Why would she end her high school career with me? 97 00:01:04,218 --> 00:01:04,242 Becca dated Eric Rosecrantz for like two years. 98 00:01:04,243 --> 00:01:04,281 Yeah, but he's a fucking idiot. You're a step up from that dick-load. 99 00:01:04,282 --> 00:01:04,306 That's why you need to stop— Will you get this? 100 00:01:04,307 --> 00:01:04,335 That's why you need to stop being a pussy and nail her. 101 00:01:04,336 --> 00:01:04,357 You could bang her before you leave. 102 00:01:04,358 --> 00:01:04,392 And I'm not gonna dance around it, she looks like a good fucker. 103 00:01:04,393 --> 00:01:04,421 I'm tired of you talking about her like that, man. 104 00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:04,462 What, you can talk about her all day and if I say one thing, it's blasphemy? 105 00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:04,482 Well, I don't constantly insult her. 106 00:01:04,483 --> 00:01:04,499 I'm not trying to insult her. 107 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:04,530 I'm just saying that she looks like a good fucker, okay? 108 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:04,549 She looks like she can take a dick. 109 00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:04,580 Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities. 110 00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:04,614 Dick-taking abilities? You think that's good to say about someone? 111 00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:04,641 The fucked-up thing is, I actually do, okay? 112 00:01:04,642 --> 00:01:04,683 If a woman tried to compliment me on my dick-giving abilities, I'd be psyched. 113 00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:04,723 Hey, yo, Seth. 114 00:01:04,724 --> 00:01:04,737 What? 115 00:01:04,738 --> 00:01:04,792 Did you hear I'm having a big grad party next Saturday? 116 00:01:04,793 --> 00:01:04,821 - No. - Yeah. 117 00:01:04,822 --> 00:01:04,855 - Oh, shit! - You're not coming. 118 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:04,942 Tell your fucking faggot friend he can't come either. 119 00:01:04,943 --> 00:01:04,964 So Jesse wanted me to tell you... 120 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:04,992 you're a fucking faggot and can't come to his party. 121 00:01:04,993 --> 00:01:05,015 You really bitched out back there, man. 122 00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:05,032 I bitched out? 123 00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:05,065 You bitched out, man, you fucking Judas. 124 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:05,080 You fucking left me hanging. 125 00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:05,136 Did you want me to dive in front of his spit? 126 00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:05,326 Come on, guys, let's go! 127 00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:05,345 This is bullshit. 128 00:01:05,346 --> 00:01:05,375 Pussy. 129 00:01:05,376 --> 00:01:05,418 If I equals the square root of negative one... 130 00:01:05,419 --> 00:01:05,482 then I squared equals negative one. Okay? 131 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:05,509 In other words, if you consider I as a constant... 132 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:05,556 you can then define the square roots of all the negative numbers. 133 00:01:05,557 --> 00:01:05,607 So I is an imaginary number. It doesn't really exist. 134 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:05,644 If I equals the square root of negative one... 135 00:01:05,645 --> 00:01:05,668 then I squared equals negative one. 136 00:01:05,669 --> 00:01:05,771 Is this making s—? Okay. 137 00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:05,792 - Okay, bye. - Evan! 138 00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:05,810 - Evan, hey. - Hey, Becca. 139 00:01:05,811 --> 00:01:05,830 - Hey, thank you for your pen. - Hey. 140 00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:05,862 No problem. No, no, don't worry. No worries. You keep it. 141 00:01:05,863 --> 00:01:05,903 You won't have to borrow one again because you'll have that one. 142 00:01:05,904 --> 00:01:05,949 - Thank you so much, that's... - You're welcome. Don't worry about it. 143 00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:05,969 So I was gonna ask you... 144 00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:05,999 did you hear about Jesse's grad party next weekend? 145 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:06,041 - It should be fun. - I heard. I— It's a maybe. 146 00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:06,063 - Really? - For me at the moment. 147 00:01:06,064 --> 00:01:06,079 - My R.S.V.P. - Just a maybe? 148 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:06,092 So far. 149 00:01:06,093 --> 00:01:06,124 There's so much other fun shit that's gonna be happening... 150 00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:06,160 that I can't really commit and, you know, hurt someone's feelings. 151 00:01:06,161 --> 00:01:06,204 Fun shit? But I never see you at parties or anything. 152 00:01:06,205 --> 00:01:06,237 That's because of all the other fun shit I'm off doing. 153 00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:06,259 I'd love to be at all of them, but... 154 00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:06,282 Why weren't you at Dimitri's on Saturday? 155 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:06,300 There was so many things going on. 156 00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:06,326 I couldn't find a minute to make an appearance. 157 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:06,398 - What did you do? - Saturday was a crazy night for me. 158 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:06,422 I had some friends over, we had a few drinks. 159 00:01:06,423 --> 00:01:06,445 That's Vag-tastic! 160 00:01:06,446 --> 00:01:06,477 I hung out in my basement, the chill zone, where we chill-lax 161 00:01:06,478 --> 00:01:06,519 Like "relax" and "chill" all at once. 162 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:06,537 Seth's parents were throwing a party. 163 00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:06,573 We got to hang around adults, which was a nice change of pace. 164 00:01:06,574 --> 00:01:06,613 You converse, you talk to people and they have interesting stories. 165 00:01:06,614 --> 00:01:06,658 I talked to a man who claimed he had climbed five mountains in his life. 166 00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:06,742 Then we went to a nightclub, which was incredible. This big, fancy one. 167 00:01:06,743 --> 00:01:06,759 - You got in? - We got right in. 168 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:06,781 - Wanna do this, 'roid monkey? - Fuck you! 169 00:01:06,782 --> 00:01:06,821 Then we called it a night. We were all just really exhausted. 170 00:01:06,822 --> 00:01:06,843 What the fuck? 171 00:01:06,844 --> 00:01:06,881 You would've loved it. It was an incredible, unbelievable night. 172 00:01:06,882 --> 00:01:06,897 That sounds like a lot of fun. 173 00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:06,932 You know, I'd love to go do something like that sometime. 174 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:06,953 Who wouldn't? I mean, it was like... 175 00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:06,990 me and Seth are always kind of cooking up these... 176 00:01:06,991 --> 00:01:07,022 fun, sort of, little, you know, events. 177 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:07,055 I guess you guys are really gonna go crazy next year together. 178 00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:07,087 We were going to, but we got into different schools. 179 00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:07,114 Really? That sucks. 180 00:01:07,115 --> 00:01:07,150 Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad. I mean, it should be okay. 181 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:07,169 Not too worried about it, really. 182 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:07,207 Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all. 183 00:01:07,208 --> 00:01:07,258 - All right, well, thank you for the pen. - Yeah. No problem. 184 00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:07,292 - Bye. - Bye. 185 00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:07,417 Bye, Evan. 186 00:01:07,418 --> 00:01:07,457 Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this class because I'd be cooking with a partner 187 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:07,499 But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work. 188 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:07,524 I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth. 189 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:07,560 I know, but look at Evan, okay? Just look at him. 190 00:01:07,561 --> 00:01:07,600 Don't keep me waiting much longer. I'm getting impatient up here. 191 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:07,634 You know what I'm talking about. Miroki, you're embarrassing me. 192 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:07,674 I'm here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible-tasting food... 193 00:01:07,675 --> 00:01:07,692 and I gotta look over at that. 194 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:07,719 Looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my life. 195 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:07,756 And it's B.S. Excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry. 196 00:01:07,757 --> 00:01:07,771 I'm like a single mother. 197 00:01:07,772 --> 00:01:07,795 We all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense. 198 00:01:07,796 --> 00:01:07,835 Everyone takes this class to get an A. It's bullshit, and I'm sorry. 199 00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:07,870 I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. 200 00:01:07,871 --> 00:01:07,898 I don't wanna sit here alone cooking this shitty food. 201 00:01:07,899 --> 00:01:07,944 No offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu. 202 00:01:07,945 --> 00:01:07,966 When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? 203 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:07,983 Am I gonna be a chef? No. 204 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:08,018 There's three weeks left in school. Give me a fucking break. 205 00:01:08,019 --> 00:01:08,056 I'm sorry for cursing. 206 00:01:08,057 --> 00:01:08,084 All right, Jules' partner isn't here today either. 207 00:01:08,085 --> 00:01:08,108 Pair up with her. Station four. 208 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:08,140 Jules? 209 00:01:08,141 --> 00:01:08,162 All right. I'll give it another shot. 210 00:01:08,163 --> 00:01:08,291 I'll give Home E0 another shot. 211 00:01:08,292 --> 00:01:08,326 Hey, Jules. Your partner didn't come today? 212 00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:08,353 - That's kind of a personal question. - What? 213 00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:08,389 Nothing. It's my attempt at humor. I was just— 214 00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:08,411 Oh, like coming. 215 00:01:08,412 --> 00:01:08,452 Like "coming" coming. 216 00:01:08,453 --> 00:01:08,487 Wow, that was a little too far right there. The gesture. 217 00:01:08,488 --> 00:01:08,521 Yeah. It's pretty far. Shit, I do that— 218 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:08,550 No, don't worry. I'm actually used to it. 219 00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:08,581 My older brother says, like, the nastiest shit. 220 00:01:08,582 --> 00:01:08,614 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. 221 00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:08,638 - That's sick. That's not even clever. - I know. 222 00:01:08,639 --> 00:01:08,651 I know. 223 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:08,682 I would've gone with something at least mildly entertaining. 224 00:01:08,683 --> 00:01:08,710 You know, like— Like— Like "family Jules." 225 00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:08,764 Oh, like "nuts." Yeah, that's funny. That's a fucking funny joke. 226 00:01:08,765 --> 00:01:08,792 Fucking funny. 227 00:01:08,793 --> 00:01:08,827 - I can't believe that. - So, all right. We gotta... 228 00:01:08,828 --> 00:01:09,237 mix it up. 229 00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:09,290 Yeah, Hayworth won't notice this, if we cover it with chocolate. 230 00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:09,316 - The whole thing? - Just dump it on. I'm serious. 231 00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:09,336 Okay. 232 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:09,370 - And now it looks professional. - That's really impressive. 233 00:01:09,371 --> 00:01:09,425 - It's beautifully done. - I think we're gonna get an A. 234 00:01:09,426 --> 00:01:09,452 So, what are you doing tonight? 235 00:01:09,453 --> 00:01:09,474 - Probably nothing. Why? - I don't know. 236 00:01:09,475 --> 00:01:09,498 My parents are gone so I'm having a party. 237 00:01:09,499 --> 00:01:09,529 I don't really know how many people are gonna be there... 238 00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:09,561 but you could stop by if you wanted to. 239 00:01:09,562 --> 00:01:09,589 Yeah, I love parties. 240 00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:09,611 Really? 241 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:09,640 I just don't really ever see you at them. 242 00:01:09,641 --> 00:01:09,660 You know, it's a love-hate thing. 243 00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:09,706 So, like, you know, right now, I really love them, though. 244 00:01:09,707 --> 00:01:09,742 - Yeah. - Good shit, right, Miroki? 245 00:01:09,743 --> 00:01:09,757 Yeah. 246 00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:09,789 Hey, Miroki, could we have a minute alone? Just— Thanks. 247 00:01:09,790 --> 00:01:09,819 Dude, Jules is having a fucking party. 248 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:09,839 Hey! 249 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:09,881 - Don't tell Fogell about the party. - Gangsters. What's up, guys? 250 00:01:09,882 --> 00:01:09,917 I was just walking down the hall and Nicola was right in front of me. 251 00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:09,952 She's wearing these tight white pants with this black G-string... 252 00:01:09,953 --> 00:01:10,098 and you could see right through the pants. It was so sweet. 253 00:01:10,099 --> 00:01:10,151 It's 10:33. 254 00:01:10,152 --> 00:01:10,191 What? 255 00:01:10,192 --> 00:01:10,207 I told her what time it was. 256 00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:10,242 That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life. 257 00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:10,273 - Can I hear it again? You have time? - Yeah, yeah, Seth. 258 00:01:10,274 --> 00:01:10,306 I'll miss your knee-slappers when me and Evan are at Dartmouth. 259 00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:10,332 While you guys are at Dartmouth, I'll be at State... 260 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:10,369 where the girls are half as smart and twice as likely to fellash me. 261 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:10,397 What are you guys doing tonight? Asshole. 262 00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:10,424 We got nothing. Nothing tonight, Fogell. 263 00:01:10,425 --> 00:01:10,458 No? Well, if nothing comes up, we can get shitfaced again, yeah? 264 00:01:10,459 --> 00:01:10,491 You're always calling me a pussy, but today you're wrong. 265 00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:10,520 At lunch, I'm going to the same place Mike Snider went... 266 00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:10,556 to pick up my brand-new fake ID. 267 00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:10,597 Yeah. Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight. 268 00:01:10,598 --> 00:01:10,625 That's insane. Evan was like, "I heard about this party. 269 00:01:10,626 --> 00:01:10,660 We shouldn't tell Fogell." I was like, "No, we should tell Fogell." 270 00:01:10,661 --> 00:01:10,686 You could buy us booze now. It's awesome. 271 00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:10,727 Yeah, I'll— Sure, I'll buy the booze. Yeah, we're gonna get our drinks on. 272 00:01:10,728 --> 00:01:10,757 We're gonna party and get crunk and rock out, dude. 273 00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:10,782 If you're not in this class, leave this class. 274 00:01:10,783 --> 00:01:10,808 Fogell! Hi. 275 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:10,823 Okay. Gotta go. 276 00:01:10,824 --> 00:01:10,850 Well done. Seriously. See you after class. 277 00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:10,873 You tell that idiot you're not rooming with him? 278 00:01:10,874 --> 00:01:10,886 Not yet. No. 279 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:10,919 All right, well, you better. That guy's the fucking anti-poon. 280 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:10,945 Seth, it's dishes time. What's the holdup? 281 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:10,970 We're getting a fake ID, $0... 282 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:11,002 - It's not like a big deal. - Wow, that's cool. 283 00:01:11,003 --> 00:01:11,029 But you guys have, like, four more years to cuddle... 284 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:11,047 so do you wanna get to work? 285 00:01:11,048 --> 00:01:11,075 Well, we got into different schools, so... 286 00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:11,101 So you're cutting the cord? What's gonna happen? 287 00:01:11,102 --> 00:01:11,131 Nothing. Jeez, what does everybody think is gonna happen? 288 00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:11,165 The world's gonna explode if we don't spend every second together? 289 00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:11,194 I mean, we're not dependent on each other, you know. 290 00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:11,223 We met when we were eight. We were fine before then. 291 00:01:11,224 --> 00:01:11,256 I was. I mean, it's like, we don't do everything together. 292 00:01:11,257 --> 00:01:11,277 No. All right, I gotta take a piss. 293 00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:11,331 My dick's not gonna shake itself. Come on, babe. 294 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:11,393 - He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go. 295 00:01:11,394 --> 00:01:11,421 Well, at least we're getting a graduation party. 296 00:01:11,422 --> 00:01:11,436 Thank God, man. 297 00:01:11,437 --> 00:01:11,459 I'm excited. 298 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:11,500 I would do terrible, disgusting things to hook up with Jules. 299 00:01:11,501 --> 00:01:11,522 - Unforgivable things. - I hear you, man. 300 00:01:11,523 --> 00:01:11,548 I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca. 301 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:11,571 Becca's a bitch. 302 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:11,603 You know what? I'm seriously getting fucking sick of you... 303 00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:11,632 talking about her like that, if we can be honest. 304 00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:11,652 - Me too. - Why do you hate her so much? 305 00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:11,683 You've never given me a reason. I think you like her. 306 00:01:11,684 --> 00:01:11,720 - Fuck no, man! I hate Becca. - Why, man? 307 00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:11,750 Fine, Evan. Here it comes. 308 00:01:11,751 --> 00:01:11,783 When I was a little kid, I kind of had this problem. 309 00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:11,804 And it's not even that big of a deal. 310 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:11,836 Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. It's... 311 00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:11,927 For some reason, I don't know why, I would just kind of sit around all day... 312 00:01:11,928 --> 00:01:11,970 and draw pictures of dicks. 313 00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:11,987 What? 314 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:12,015 Draw pictures of dicks. 315 00:01:12,016 --> 00:01:12,033 Dicks? 316 00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:12,059 Like a man dick? 317 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:12,111 Yeah. Like a man dick. 318 00:01:12,112 --> 00:01:12,150 I 'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks. I don't know what it was. 319 00:01:12,151 --> 00:01:12,195 I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. 320 00:01:12,196 --> 00:01:12,222 - That's fucked. - No shit, it's really fucked up. 321 00:01:12,223 --> 00:01:12,238 Here I am, this little kid... 322 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:12,372 and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. 323 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:12,404 All right. I mean, I don't see what this has to do with Becca. 324 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:12,433 Just listen. Okay? 325 00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:12,476 Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. 326 00:01:12,477 --> 00:01:12,526 And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. 327 00:01:12,527 --> 00:01:12,564 I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. 328 00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:12,583 Even I thought I was fucking crazy. 329 00:01:12,584 --> 00:01:12,604 Imagine what everyone else would think. 330 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:12,628 So I would stash all of my dick drawings... 331 00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:12,662 in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. 332 00:01:12,663 --> 00:01:12,711 So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard. 333 00:01:12,712 --> 00:01:12,725 All of a sudden... 334 00:01:12,726 --> 00:01:12,771 Pussy! 335 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:12,795 You hit Becca's foot with your dick? 336 00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:12,998 Yeah. I know. 337 00:01:12,999 --> 00:01:13,012 Oh, my God! 338 00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:13,061 She starts crying. She flips out. And she rats me out to the principal. 339 00:01:13,062 --> 00:01:13,091 He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest... 340 00:01:13,092 --> 00:01:13,211 and he fucking flips out. 341 00:01:13,212 --> 00:01:13,251 He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic... 342 00:01:13,252 --> 00:01:13,277 and he thinks I'm possessed by some dick devil. 343 00:01:13,278 --> 00:01:13,318 My parents make me see a therapist, and he's asking me dick questions. 344 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:13,346 They made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. 345 00:01:13,347 --> 00:01:13,366 No hot dogs, no Popsicles. 346 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:13,400 You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. 347 00:01:13,401 --> 00:01:13,424 Yeah. 348 00:01:13,425 --> 00:01:13,467 Well, I don't— That's really messed up. 349 00:01:13,468 --> 00:01:13,493 - Super gay. - All right, let's stop this madness. 350 00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:13,531 - Let's just go get some dessert. - I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor. 351 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:13,568 I'm picking out my classes for next year. 352 00:01:13,569 --> 00:01:13,622 So I gotta sit and eat dessert alone, like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg? 353 00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:13,660 I gue— Yeah, I mean, what do you want me to do? 354 00:01:13,661 --> 00:01:13,690 I don't know. Nothing. It's fine. 355 00:01:13,691 --> 00:01:13,813 - Just relax, man. I'll see you later. - That's fine. I'll be fine. 356 00:01:13,814 --> 00:01:13,837 Hey, PUSSY- 357 00:01:13,838 --> 00:01:13,861 Fuck off. 358 00:01:13,862 --> 00:01:13,882 Just the one. Just the one. Not both. 359 00:01:13,883 --> 00:01:13,902 - So I'll call Andy and Greg. - Okay. 360 00:01:13,903 --> 00:01:13,932 And I'll bring the '80s dance music. 361 00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:13,951 - Yeah, yeah. - Right on. 362 00:01:13,952 --> 00:01:13,980 Seth! Hi. There you are. We were just talking about you. 363 00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:13,994 - Here I am. - That's weird. 364 00:01:13,995 --> 00:01:14,008 Yeah. 365 00:01:14,009 --> 00:01:14,040 So you're coming to my party tonight? Because it's fully on. 366 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:14,076 Yeah, why? Should I not come? Because I could think of other shit... 367 00:01:14,077 --> 00:01:14,107 Oh, no. No. I want you to come, I just— 368 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:14,145 You said something earlier about, like, a fake ID or something, right? 369 00:01:14,146 --> 00:01:14,176 Yeah, I'm gonna get one. For sure, for sure. 370 00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:14,215 I'm getting that for sure. 371 00:01:14,216 --> 00:01:14,264 Can you get us booze? 372 00:01:14,265 --> 00:01:14,291 Yeah. I can. I can get you guys alcohol. 373 00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:14,311 - Really? Seriously? - Yes, for sure. 374 00:01:14,312 --> 00:01:14,330 That would be awesome. Thank you. 375 00:01:14,331 --> 00:01:14,360 Because we were worried about that. That would be great. 376 00:01:14,361 --> 00:01:14,392 Plus, you know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours. 377 00:01:14,393 --> 00:01:14,417 Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back... 378 00:01:14,418 --> 00:01:14,473 is that it's located on my cock. 379 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:14,497 So you do want alcohol? You want some or no? 380 00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:14,524 You do or you don't? You do want alcohol. 381 00:01:14,525 --> 00:01:14,541 - Yeah. - Either way. 382 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:14,565 - Well— - Either way. Either Way's fine. 383 00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:14,587 This is actually kind of a big favor. 384 00:01:14,588 --> 00:01:14,632 Because my parents left me like 100 bucks to feed myself for the week. 385 00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:14,670 But the house is full of food, so I just thought I'd spend it all... 386 00:01:14,671 --> 00:01:14,704 on, you know, extra drinks for the party, so... 387 00:01:14,705 --> 00:01:14,741 That's really nice. I don't think I've ever done anything that nice. 388 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:14,760 - It's cool? - Yeah. 389 00:01:14,761 --> 00:01:14,775 - Okay. Thank you. - Awesome. 390 00:01:14,776 --> 00:01:14,810 I mean, seriously, that's really— That's nice of you. Thank you. 391 00:01:14,811 --> 00:01:14,861 So should I just get a shitload of different shit? 392 00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:14,888 Well, you gotta get me some Kyle's Killer Lemonade. 393 00:01:14,889 --> 00:01:14,930 Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind of gay, but I can get it for you. 394 00:01:14,931 --> 00:01:14,964 So— Okay, so then we will see you tonight. 395 00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:14,982 Go to the ball, guys. 396 00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:15,013 Evan. Get into the game. 397 00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:15,036 Kick it over to me. 398 00:01:15,037 --> 00:01:15,061 Seth! Get off the field! 399 00:01:15,062 --> 00:01:15,088 Get out of here. They're gonna make me run laps. 400 00:01:15,089 --> 00:01:15,103 Just fucking listen, okay? 401 00:01:15,104 --> 00:01:15,144 Jules and her stupid fucking friend asked me to buy her alcohol. 402 00:01:15,145 --> 00:01:15,179 But not just her, for her whole party. You know what that means? 403 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:15,216 By some miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me. 404 00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:15,248 Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust... 405 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:15,282 with the whole fun-ness of her party. She wants to fuck me. 406 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:15,316 She wants my dick in or around her mouth. 407 00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:15,348 Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol? 408 00:01:15,349 --> 00:01:15,379 - She doesn't want your dick. - Of course I thought of that. 409 00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:15,404 The first thing that came to my mind. Listen. 410 00:01:15,405 --> 00:01:15,429 My older brother always says the nastiest shit. 411 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:15,459 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. 412 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:15,485 Seth, I wanna blow you. 413 00:01:15,486 --> 00:01:15,501 She didn't say that. Come on. 414 00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:15,524 She didn't say the second part, the first— 415 00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:15,553 She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. 416 00:01:15,554 --> 00:01:15,573 She looked me in the eyes and said: 417 00:01:15,574 --> 00:01:15,617 "Seth, mama's making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." 418 00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:15,646 She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. 419 00:01:15,647 --> 00:01:15,677 P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. 420 00:01:15,678 --> 00:01:15,709 Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. 421 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:15,741 You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. 422 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:15,779 No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? 423 00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:15,810 But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. 424 00:01:15,811 --> 00:01:15,850 She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. 425 00:01:15,851 --> 00:01:15,874 Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. 426 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:15,894 And then I make her my girlfriend. 427 00:01:15,895 --> 00:01:15,919 And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. 428 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:15,938 By the time college rolls around... 429 00:01:15,939 --> 00:01:15,966 I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. 430 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:15,982 Can we talk about this later? 431 00:01:15,983 --> 00:01:16,006 What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. 432 00:01:16,007 --> 00:01:16,029 Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. 433 00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:16,049 - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. 434 00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:16,076 Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? 435 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:16,106 - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. 436 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:16,132 Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. 437 00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:16,154 You do the same thing with her. 438 00:01:16,155 --> 00:01:16,179 When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. 439 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:16,213 This is our last party as high school people. 440 00:01:16,214 --> 00:01:16,247 I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. 441 00:01:16,248 --> 00:01:16,280 I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... 442 00:01:16,281 --> 00:01:16,299 and stop being a pussy for once... 443 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:16,340 and we can fucking fuck some girls already. 444 00:01:16,341 --> 00:01:16,368 - I should buy Becca alcohol? - Yeah, it'll be pimp. 445 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:16,401 That way you know she'll be drunk. You know when girls say: 446 00:01:16,402 --> 00:01:16,439 "I was so shitfaced last night. I shouldn't have fucked that guy." 447 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:16,480 We could be that mistake! 448 00:01:16,481 --> 00:01:16,496 Have you talked to Fogell? 449 00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:16,530 All right, you talk to Becca. I'll talk to that retard, Fogell. 450 00:01:16,531 --> 00:01:16,544 Don't worry. 451 00:01:16,545 --> 00:01:16,578 - Seth, get off the field! - Goal. 452 00:01:16,579 --> 00:01:16,642 - You're getting that! - No, I'm not! 453 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:16,664 Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up. 454 00:01:16,665 --> 00:01:16,678 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 455 00:01:16,679 --> 00:01:16,707 Hi. Did you hear about the party tonight? 456 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:16,731 Yeah. Yeah, I just heard. It sounds awesome. 457 00:01:16,732 --> 00:01:16,755 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going. 458 00:01:16,756 --> 00:01:16,772 - Really? - Yeah, I'm gonna go. 459 00:01:16,773 --> 00:01:16,792 That's why I came looking for you. 460 00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:16,818 Me and the guys are gonna go to a liquor store. 461 00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:16,837 And I just thought, you know... 462 00:01:16,838 --> 00:01:16,869 if you needed someone to get you yours, I could do that. 463 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:16,888 I could be that person. 464 00:01:16,889 --> 00:01:16,904 Yeah. 465 00:01:16,905 --> 00:01:16,923 Yeah, no, that would be great. 466 00:01:16,924 --> 00:01:16,963 That would save me such a hassle, because I was gonna beg my sister. 467 00:01:16,964 --> 00:01:16,991 Could you get me, like, a bottle of Goldslick Vodka? 468 00:01:16,992 --> 00:01:17,022 Yeah. That's the one with the little golden flakes in it? 469 00:01:17,023 --> 00:01:17,054 - Yeah. The girly one. - That's classy. 470 00:01:17,055 --> 00:01:17,076 Well, I'll pay you back at the party. 471 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:17,097 No, you won't. No, it's my treat, miss. 472 00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:17,114 - Really? - Yep. That's that. 473 00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:17,148 It's the first of many too, so get used to it, sister. 474 00:01:17,149 --> 00:01:17,174 Well, thank you. 475 00:01:17,175 --> 00:01:17,272 Yeah, no problem. 476 00:01:17,273 --> 00:01:17,299 - I'm sorry. It was an accident. - It's okay. 477 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:17,330 I was gonna give you a nudge— A punch, the friend thing. 478 00:01:17,331 --> 00:01:17,344 I didn't mean— 479 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:17,362 - Hey, Becca. - Hey. 480 00:01:17,363 --> 00:01:17,376 - Hey! _(3abY- 481 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:17,391 - What's up, Evan? - Hey, Gaby. 482 00:01:17,392 --> 00:01:17,414 - We should get to class. - We're gonna go. 483 00:01:17,415 --> 00:01:17,433 - So I will see you tonight. - Okay. 484 00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:17,453 - Really, don't worry. - Okay. Sorry. 485 00:01:17,454 --> 00:01:17,479 - Bye. - Sorry. 486 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:17,510 Bye. 487 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:17,615 Sorry. 488 00:01:17,616 --> 00:01:17,644 Where's that sack of shit, Fogell? He said he'd be here. 489 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:17,662 I'm here with my thumb up my ass. 490 00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:17,687 I did it, dude. I even offered to pay for it. 491 00:01:17,688 --> 00:01:17,710 It was pimp. I feel like a pimp right now. 492 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:17,741 - Like one of those pimps. - That is fucking pimp. 493 00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:17,802 - That's what I was afraid of. - Why didn't I think of that? Shit. 494 00:01:17,803 --> 00:01:17,819 Sh— We're screwed. 495 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:17,835 - Okay? We're screwed. - Okay. 496 00:01:17,836 --> 00:01:17,860 This is what we get for trusting Fogell, okay? 497 00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:17,899 He pussied out. I know he pussied out. 498 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:17,916 What are you making? 499 00:01:17,917 --> 00:01:17,970 I'm just drilling holes. The last two weeks. Fuck it. 500 00:01:17,971 --> 00:01:18,001 What do we tell the girls, we couldn't do the one thing... 501 00:01:18,002 --> 00:01:18,027 we promised because we're dickless incompetents? 502 00:01:18,028 --> 00:01:18,064 Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell. 503 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:18,107 How'd he get into Dartmouth? I don't get it. He's got shit for brains. 504 00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:18,130 All right, how else can we get alcohol? 505 00:01:18,131 --> 00:01:18,163 - Yo, guys! What's up? - Fogell, where have you been, man? 506 00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:18,186 You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. 507 00:01:18,187 --> 00:01:18,224 - Let me see it. Did you pussy out? - No, no, man. I got it. 508 00:01:18,225 --> 00:01:18,249 It's flawless. Check it. 509 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:18,265 Hawaii? 510 00:01:18,266 --> 00:01:18,296 All right, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess. 511 00:01:18,297 --> 00:01:18,339 Wait, you changed your name to McLovin? 512 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:18,377 - Yeah. - McLovin? 513 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:18,414 What kind of a stupid name is that? Are you an Irish R & B singer? 514 00:01:18,415 --> 00:01:18,442 They let you pick any name you want when you're there. 515 00:01:18,443 --> 00:01:18,462 And you landed on McLovin? 516 00:01:18,463 --> 00:01:18,488 Yeah, it was between that or Mohammad. 517 00:01:18,489 --> 00:01:18,514 Why the fuck would it be between that or Mohammad? 518 00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:18,539 Why not just pick a common name? 519 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:18,576 Mohammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book. 520 00:01:18,577 --> 00:01:18,598 Have you ever met anyone named Mohammad? 521 00:01:18,599 --> 00:01:18,620 Have you ever met anyone named McLovin? 522 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:18,646 No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name. 523 00:01:18,647 --> 00:01:18,662 - Fuck you. - Give me that. 524 00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:18,702 All right. You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number one. 525 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:18,739 Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin! 526 00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:18,753 What? One name? 527 00:01:18,754 --> 00:01:18,784 One name? Who are you, Seal? 528 00:01:18,785 --> 00:01:18,812 Fogell, this ID says you're 25 years old. 529 00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:18,832 Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? 530 00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:18,857 Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face. 531 00:01:18,858 --> 00:01:18,898 Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs... 532 00:01:18,899 --> 00:01:18,920 and every single one says they're 21. 533 00:01:18,921 --> 00:01:18,941 How many 21-year-olds are in this town? 534 00:01:18,942 --> 00:01:18,959 It's called fucking strategy. 535 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:18,985 Let's stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. 536 00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:19,023 It's a fine ID. it'll— It's gonna work. It's passable, okay? 537 00:01:19,024 --> 00:01:19,053 This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. 538 00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:19,083 This guy's gonna think, Here's a kid with a fake ID 539 00:01:19,084 --> 00:01:19,133 or "Here's McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor." 540 00:01:19,134 --> 00:01:19,163 Okay? So, what's it gonna be? 541 00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:19,191 I am McLovin. 542 00:01:19,192 --> 00:01:19,222 No, you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed... 543 00:01:19,223 --> 00:01:19,262 because that's a made-up, dumb, fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck! 544 00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:19,290 Jeez, man. It'll work. Give it a chance. 545 00:01:19,291 --> 00:01:19,308 Did you move my—? 546 00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:19,324 Where is my car? 547 00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:19,342 Oh, my God, man. 548 00:01:19,343 --> 00:01:19,371 What did I say to you? I told you not to park here. 549 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:19,399 Why would you park in the staff parking lot? 550 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:19,416 Shut the fuck up, Fogell. 551 00:01:19,417 --> 00:01:19,447 I mean, because you're not staff. 552 00:01:19,448 --> 00:01:19,513 I know that, Fagelll I know that! 553 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:19,546 Evan, let's go to your house. 554 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:19,591 Wait, are you guys still picking me up from work? 555 00:01:19,592 --> 00:01:19,651 Can you answer me? 556 00:01:19,652 --> 00:01:19,693 Man, don't you have any non-infant clothes? 557 00:01:19,694 --> 00:01:19,706 - It'll be fine. - Yeah. 558 00:01:19,707 --> 00:01:19,732 Why don't you just wear what you wore to school? 559 00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:19,769 I can't do that. I can't let Jules see me in what I wore to school. 560 00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:19,787 It's completely unbecoming. 561 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:19,828 No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since Nam. 562 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:19,861 I have to kill these guys. You don't negotiate with terrorists. 563 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:19,895 Really? Yeah, that's what we should be talking about right now. 564 00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:19,925 Then why don't you go and get some of your own clothes? 565 00:01:19,926 --> 00:01:19,942 That's the dumbest thing ever. 566 00:01:19,943 --> 00:01:19,979 My parents will see that my car's been towed and I'll be grounded. 567 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:20,005 These fucking terrorists multiply like bunnies. 568 00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:20,022 Where did I leave the M16? 569 00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:20,062 Do you have any bigger clothes or do you only shop at babyGap? 570 00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:20,093 Fuck me. I can't— 571 00:01:20,094 --> 00:01:20,120 That's fun. Why do they make that? 572 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:20,157 If you can't even win, then why am I fucking playing? 573 00:01:20,158 --> 00:01:20,441 Do you wanna go see what my dad has? 574 00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:20,499 What the fuck? 575 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:20,514 What the hell is that? 576 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:20,538 It's a fucking vest, dumb-ass. 577 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:20,568 - I'm trying to look older. - You look like Pinocchio. 578 00:01:20,569 --> 00:01:20,598 - It's just a vest. - They got a lot of booze in there. 579 00:01:20,599 --> 00:01:20,633 If we get it now, we can get to the party faster with Jules' shit. 580 00:01:20,634 --> 00:01:20,660 No way, man. I work there. They know I'm not 25. 581 00:01:20,661 --> 00:01:20,684 Nobody said anything about you, dick-mouth. 582 00:01:20,685 --> 00:01:20,709 You really fucked me on this one. 583 00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:20,731 So now I'm gonna steal the booze. 584 00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:20,765 Don't do this. I promise you I'll get the liquor later. 585 00:01:20,766 --> 00:01:20,792 Mike Snider's ID always works. So will mine, man. 586 00:01:20,793 --> 00:01:20,833 Mike Snider's ID doesn't have one fucking name on it! Okay? 587 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:20,879 I thought you Dartmouth guys would be smart enough to understand that. 588 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:20,907 Now Seth's gotta pick up all the pieces. 589 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:20,928 He won't do it. Don't worry. 590 00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:20,966 I forgot to tell you, my mom said we can have the TV from the basement— 591 00:01:20,967 --> 00:01:20,987 Shut the fuck up, he's gonna hear you. 592 00:01:20,988 --> 00:01:21,009 Just be quiet. Wait until he goes away. 593 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:21,039 You still haven't told him that we're rooming together? 594 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:21,057 Fogell, shut the fuck up. 595 00:01:21,058 --> 00:01:21,083 And take off your vest. You look like Aladdin. 596 00:01:21,084 --> 00:01:21,210 Okay. You got it. 597 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:21,413 Hope Piggy can run. 598 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:21,432 How old are you? 599 00:01:21,433 --> 00:01:21,456 Twenty-two. 600 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:21,491 You certainly are. That'll be 80 dollars. 601 00:01:21,492 --> 00:01:21,513 Okay. 602 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:21,540 Thank you kindly. Will that do? 603 00:01:21,541 --> 00:01:21,567 Certainly will. Thank you, Seth. 604 00:01:21,568 --> 00:01:21,707 Hey, thank you. 605 00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:21,725 You dropped your purse, ma'am. 606 00:01:21,726 --> 00:01:21,770 Would you like some help? 607 00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:21,810 Would you like me to buy you alcohol? 608 00:01:21,811 --> 00:01:21,834 That would be lovely. 609 00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:21,865 - Enjoy your remaining years. - I will. 610 00:01:21,866 --> 00:01:22,105 - Enjoy fucking Jules. - I will. 611 00:01:22,106 --> 00:01:22,170 Don't do it, kid. 612 00:01:22,171 --> 00:01:22,282 I never had a choice. 613 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:22,314 You fucking killed her! 614 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:22,440 No! 615 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:22,476 Where's all the stolen liquor? Did you hide it up your butt? 616 00:01:22,477 --> 00:01:22,509 Piss off! I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach. 617 00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:22,525 You never would've done it. 618 00:01:22,526 --> 00:01:22,563 Let's go to a liquor store and watch your stupid ID get rejected. 619 00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:22,891 Wait, I'm gonna go put my vest back in my locker. 620 00:01:22,892 --> 00:01:22,911 All right. Here we are. This is it. 621 00:01:22,912 --> 00:01:22,939 - You ready? Yeah? - Yeah. 622 00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:22,979 - Here's the money and the list. - Change is yours. Keep the change. 623 00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:23,015 - Thank you. What's the list for? - The alcohol. 624 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:23,050 We're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay? 625 00:01:23,051 --> 00:01:23,081 We put a lot of time into this list, so don't fuck it up. 626 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:23,095 It's perfect. 627 00:01:23,096 --> 00:01:23,135 Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, Goldslick... 628 00:01:23,136 --> 00:01:23,167 Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca. Don't forget that. 629 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:23,197 Raspberry vodka, Scotch... 630 00:01:23,198 --> 00:01:23,218 And Kyle's Killer Lemonade. A six-pack. 631 00:01:23,219 --> 00:01:23,253 This is a lot. I don't know if I can get away with all this. 632 00:01:23,254 --> 00:01:23,271 What difference does it make? 633 00:01:23,272 --> 00:01:23,315 I don't know, man. I'm, like, really nervous. 634 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:23,344 - Are you okay? - No, man. I should have wore the vest. 635 00:01:23,345 --> 00:01:23,373 - Calm down. - What the fuck are you doing? 636 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:23,395 What if I go in and they turn me down, man? 637 00:01:23,396 --> 00:01:23,419 Then we're in the same place we're in now. 638 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:23,439 - Who cares? - It's fucking humiliating! 639 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:23,462 Everybody sees them kicking me out. 640 00:01:23,463 --> 00:01:23,499 What if they make me put the liquor back? I can't do that. 641 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:23,527 This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell! 642 00:01:23,528 --> 00:01:23,571 So grow a pair of nuts and fucking walk in there and buy the alcohol! 643 00:01:23,572 --> 00:01:23,597 What if I don't feel like it any more, Seth? What? 644 00:01:23,598 --> 00:01:23,619 Then I'll fucking kill you, okay? 645 00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:23,643 I'll stab you through your fucking heart. 646 00:01:23,644 --> 00:01:23,662 No, you can do this, man. Come on. 647 00:01:23,663 --> 00:01:23,697 Killing me won't get you alcohol. I'm the one with the fake ID. 648 00:01:23,698 --> 00:01:23,721 Then I'll out your dumb fucking face off... 649 00:01:23,722 --> 00:01:23,758 throw it over mine and get your ID and buy it my fucking self! 650 00:01:23,759 --> 00:01:23,792 Oh, really? You don't have the technology or the steady hands... 651 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:23,816 to pull off a procedure like that, so ha! 652 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:23,840 Peace. 653 00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:23,870 Fogell, just be cool, man. Get in and get out. 654 00:01:23,871 --> 00:01:23,912 You're the hero. 655 00:01:23,913 --> 00:01:24,263 Sorry. 656 00:01:24,264 --> 00:01:24,284 Is there a problem here, sir? 657 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:24,356 No. No problem whatsoever. 658 00:01:24,357 --> 00:01:24,388 Sir, did you do this? On the floor'? 659 00:01:24,389 --> 00:01:24,407 No. 660 00:01:24,408 --> 00:01:24,427 And you should really clean this up. 661 00:01:24,428 --> 00:01:24,471 Someone could really hurt themselves. 662 00:01:24,472 --> 00:01:24,498 Fuck my life. 663 00:01:24,499 --> 00:01:24,516 We're so fucked. We're so fucked. 664 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:24,539 This plan's been fucked since Jump Street. 665 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:24,574 Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right? 666 00:01:24,575 --> 00:01:24,606 Hey, so did you bring a condom for tonight? 667 00:01:24,607 --> 00:01:24,630 You brought a condom with you? 668 00:01:24,631 --> 00:01:24,653 Yeah. I figured I might as well, you know? 669 00:01:24,654 --> 00:01:24,710 I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too. 670 00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:24,743 You laughed in my face when I said I'd be having sex tonight. 671 00:01:24,744 --> 00:01:24,771 That doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared. 672 00:01:24,772 --> 00:01:24,799 - You didn't even bring a condom? - No. 673 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:24,821 No, Evan, that wasn't part of the plan. 674 00:01:24,822 --> 00:01:24,846 You did this without consulting with me. 675 00:01:24,847 --> 00:01:24,889 We've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan. 676 00:01:24,890 --> 00:01:24,924 I had, like, a general outline. You know? 677 00:01:24,925 --> 00:01:24,957 I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay? 678 00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:24,991 She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that. 679 00:01:24,992 --> 00:01:25,013 Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg. 680 00:01:25,014 --> 00:01:25,048 Well, I just— I don't see the harm in bringing one little condom. 681 00:01:25,049 --> 00:01:25,074 And one little bottle of spermicidal lube? 682 00:01:25,075 --> 00:01:25,104 Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube. 683 00:01:25,105 --> 00:01:25,137 - Evan, that's psycho shit, man. - No, it's not. 684 00:01:25,138 --> 00:01:25,158 That's, like, Charles Manson shit. 685 00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:25,194 What, do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you brought lube? 686 00:01:25,195 --> 00:01:25,234 "Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. 687 00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:25,271 I never would've been able to handle your fucking 4-inch dick... 688 00:01:25,272 --> 00:01:25,308 inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube." 689 00:01:25,309 --> 00:01:25,327 - Okay, that's— That's enough. - Fuck. 690 00:01:25,328 --> 00:01:25,360 These girls are 18, they're not dried-up old ladies. 691 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:25,384 - They're good to go. - Then I won't bring the lube. 692 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:25,419 Don't make me feel like that. I thought it was cool. 693 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:25,447 - This is a nice kind. - Let me see that for a second. 694 00:01:25,448 --> 00:01:25,472 - An impressive kind. - It is kind of cool. 695 00:01:25,473 --> 00:01:25,493 - That's cool. - Fucking dumb-ass. Lube? 696 00:01:25,494 --> 00:01:25,510 - That's funny. - You brought lube? 697 00:01:25,511 --> 00:01:25,565 You owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking over to get it and it exploded. 698 00:01:25,566 --> 00:01:25,731 Hello, Mindy. 699 00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:25,775 I love that stuff. Been drinking it for years. 700 00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:25,871 You know, I heard they recently decided to add more hops to it. 701 00:01:25,872 --> 00:01:25,886 Okay. 702 00:01:25,887 --> 00:01:25,938 I'm gonna need to see some identification. 703 00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:25,955 Really? 704 00:01:25,956 --> 00:01:26,009 Makes me feel young again. There you go. 705 00:01:26,010 --> 00:01:26,063 Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins. 706 00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:26,087 She had the biggest tits I've ever seen. 707 00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:26,110 I heard she got breast-reduction surgery. 708 00:01:26,111 --> 00:01:26,131 What? Making your tits smaller? 709 00:01:26,132 --> 00:01:26,167 That's like slapping God for giving you a gorgeous gift. 710 00:01:26,168 --> 00:01:26,183 She had back problems, man. 711 00:01:26,184 --> 00:01:26,220 And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them. 712 00:01:26,221 --> 00:01:26,250 They make them more supple and symmetrical. 713 00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:26,274 I gotta catch a glimpse of these Warlocks. 714 00:01:26,275 --> 00:01:26,309 Let's make a move. 715 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:26,400 - She's going around the corner. - Come on! 716 00:01:26,401 --> 00:01:26,543 Okay. Your total is 96.59. 717 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:26,568 I don't believe it! 718 00:01:26,569 --> 00:01:26,599 Are you okay, mister? 719 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:26,640 What the shit was that? 720 00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:26,690 I don't believe it. I don't believe it. 721 00:01:26,691 --> 00:01:26,708 I don't believe it. 722 00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:26,736 I don't know, man. I think she looked better before. 723 00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:26,811 But now that she can jog comfortably, she's in the best shape she's ever— 724 00:01:26,812 --> 00:01:26,861 What is this? What's that? 725 00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:26,934 Oh, man. 726 00:01:26,935 --> 00:01:26,963 Holy shit, they busted Fogell. 727 00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:26,987 How did this happen, Evan? Fuck, man! 728 00:01:26,988 --> 00:01:27,006 His dad's gonna fucking kill him. 729 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:27,021 Look, okay? 730 00:01:27,022 --> 00:01:27,061 He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out. 731 00:01:27,062 --> 00:01:27,074 80... 732 00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:27,094 - How—? 733 00:01:27,095 --> 00:01:27,134 - Say when, height-wise. - I'm gonna start up here, tell me when. 734 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:27,161 - I'll start on the bottom and— - When. 735 00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:27,186 Whatever 5'1O" is, he was 5'1O". 736 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:27,229 Ethnically, I mean, did— What—? 737 00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:27,295 I mean, was he—? Was he like us, or—? 738 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:27,312 A woman? 739 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:27,325 - Female? - No. 740 00:01:27,326 --> 00:01:27,355 - Is that what you're asking? - No, no. Was he—? 741 00:01:27,356 --> 00:01:27,368 - Like . . .. - What? What? 742 00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:27,382 - African? - Af— Af— 743 00:01:27,383 --> 00:01:27,401 - Was he African? - African. 744 00:01:27,402 --> 00:01:27,426 No. He was American, and he was like you. 745 00:01:27,427 --> 00:01:27,460 - He looked just like you. - He was Jewish. Okay, Jew. 746 00:01:27,461 --> 00:01:27,490 - It's an odd crime for a Jew. - They're pretty docile. 747 00:01:27,491 --> 00:01:27,532 Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie. 748 00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:27,574 No, you don't. No. That's not what I said. Is that what you heard me say? 749 00:01:27,575 --> 00:01:27,614 I said he looked like you. Do you look like an African Jew? 750 00:01:27,615 --> 00:01:27,653 - No, I look like a cop. - Yeah. 751 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:27,680 He was Caucasian. 752 00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:27,702 - Caucasian. - All right. 753 00:01:27,703 --> 00:01:27,715 - Okay. - Well, touché. 754 00:01:27,716 --> 00:01:27,743 Kind of looked like Eminem. Does that help you? 755 00:01:27,744 --> 00:01:27,756 - An M&M. - An M&M. 756 00:01:27,757 --> 00:01:27,788 - So he was circular—? - Marshall Mathers. Eminem? 757 00:01:27,789 --> 00:01:27,830 - The rapper, Eminem. - Did he look like this? 758 00:01:27,831 --> 00:01:27,860 - I'm an amateur. I kind of— - That looks like an M&M. 759 00:01:27,861 --> 00:01:27,911 Longer face? Bigger nose? Would you say his mouth was wider? 760 00:01:27,912 --> 00:01:27,928 Open? A gap? 761 00:01:27,929 --> 00:01:27,984 Is there another squad car in the area that could be of further assistance? 762 00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:28,005 I don't seem to be getting any. 763 00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:28,039 Okay, so just walk me through again what this guy did. 764 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,076 He— He— He came in, he's wielding— 765 00:01:28,077 --> 00:01:28,125 He's wielding something. He hits this small gentleman in the slacks. 766 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:28,161 And then he jumps over you, he feels you up, violates you. 767 00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:28,182 - I did not say that. - No, he doesn't. 768 00:01:28,183 --> 00:01:28,224 Look, I can't do this. I told you already, I have an exam tomorrow. 769 00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:28,279 Can you understand that? I have a goddamn veterinary exam! 770 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:28,301 Goddamn it. This is bullshit. 771 00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:28,333 This is some bullshit. I got an exam tomorrow. Forget this. 772 00:01:28,334 --> 00:01:28,356 Well, apparently someone has an exam. 773 00:01:28,357 --> 00:01:28,385 How'd you know? 774 00:01:28,386 --> 00:01:28,405 You. You're the one that got punched? 775 00:01:28,406 --> 00:01:28,425 - Yeah. - Okay. 776 00:01:28,426 --> 00:01:28,494 First things first. What is your name? 777 00:01:28,495 --> 00:01:28,516 My name? 778 00:01:28,517 --> 00:01:28,565 It's M— McLov— McLovin. 779 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:28,583 McLovin? 780 00:01:28,584 --> 00:01:28,611 Yeah. 781 00:01:28,612 --> 00:01:28,630 Now, what's your first name? 782 00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:28,645 What? 783 00:01:28,646 --> 00:01:28,680 - Your first name? - My first name? 784 00:01:28,681 --> 00:01:28,743 Technically I don't have a first name, so don't worry about my first name. 785 00:01:28,744 --> 00:01:28,770 But we're the police. 786 00:01:28,771 --> 00:01:28,807 We just wanna get the story straight. 787 00:01:28,808 --> 00:01:28,823 - Come on. - Fuck, man. 788 00:01:28,824 --> 00:01:28,851 - Come on! - He must be so afraid. 789 00:01:28,852 --> 00:01:28,887 I don't believe this bullshit. I can't believe this is happening! 790 00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:28,928 I didn't know you could get arrested for this shit. We need that liquor. 791 00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:28,959 - Are they gonna take him downtown? - Fuck Fogell. 792 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:28,981 He got arrested, okay? We're on our own. 793 00:01:28,982 --> 00:01:29,001 We need a new way to get liq— 794 00:01:29,002 --> 00:01:29,043 Fuck! The money, man! Fuck! How much money can you get? 795 00:01:29,044 --> 00:01:29,070 Why are you talking about money? What about Fogell? 796 00:01:29,071 --> 00:01:29,113 That doesn't matter any more. I lost a hundred dollars of Jules' money. 797 00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:29,154 Are we gonna bust him out of jail? Bake a cake with a fucking file in it? 798 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:29,202 Fuck Fogell. We need a new way to get liquor, which is fucking impossible. 799 00:01:29,203 --> 00:01:29,236 All right, you need to calm down. We need to think for a second. 800 00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:29,293 - We need to think this out. - Fuck thinking, we need to act! 801 00:01:29,294 --> 00:01:29,309 Seth! 802 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:29,343 - What the fuck happened? - Just— Just get up. Slowly. 803 00:01:29,344 --> 00:01:29,376 You all right? You okay? 804 00:01:29,377 --> 00:01:29,411 I am so sorry, man. I am so sorry. 805 00:01:29,412 --> 00:01:29,457 I didn't even effing see you at all, man. Are you okay? 806 00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:29,497 So it's just McLovin? 807 00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:29,523 Yeah. 808 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:29,550 - That's badass. - That is badass. 809 00:01:29,551 --> 00:01:29,566 - Really cool. - A badass name. 810 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:29,598 - Lot of people with weird names. - Chingy. Shakira. 811 00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:29,616 Rafe. Pax. 812 00:01:29,617 --> 00:01:29,654 We arrested a man-lady who was legally named "Fuck." 813 00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:29,677 Think he was Vietnamese, it was with a P-H. 814 00:01:29,678 --> 00:01:29,701 But it's still shocking to see on a license. 815 00:01:29,702 --> 00:01:29,755 - Okay, and how old are you, McLovin? - Old enough. 816 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:29,800 Old enough for what? 817 00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:29,869 To party 818 00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:29,896 Can I see your ID? 819 00:01:29,897 --> 00:01:30,191 Yeah, I think I have it. 820 00:01:30,192 --> 00:01:30,229 - You're an organ donor. - What? 821 00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:30,250 I didn't wanna, but my wife insisted. 822 00:01:30,251 --> 00:01:30,272 I give him shit for it too. All the time. 823 00:01:30,273 --> 00:01:30,307 I say, "it's just like a woman. Even after you're dead... 824 00:01:30,308 --> 00:01:30,344 they wanna tear your heart out." - They wanna tear your... 825 00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:30,377 - I say it weekly and it's still funny. - It still makes me laugh. 826 00:01:30,378 --> 00:01:30,395 - Really funny. - There you go. 827 00:01:30,396 --> 00:01:30,432 I'm sorry, guys. I don't really have any information. 828 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:30,463 He just hit me, and I didn't see what he looked like. 829 00:01:30,464 --> 00:01:30,491 - I don't know if I can help you. - You in a hurry? 830 00:01:30,492 --> 00:01:30,516 Yeah, kind of had to catch that bus. 831 00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:30,566 - Where were you headed? - Near 13th and Granville. 832 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:30,599 - We can take you there. - Get your information on the way. 833 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:30,627 - Why waste 2 bucks? - We'll take you. No problem. 834 00:01:30,628 --> 00:01:30,669 Please don't report me, man. We can figure this out, right? 835 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:30,721 Why the fuck wouldn't I report you? You just hit me. 836 00:01:30,722 --> 00:01:30,745 Because I'll do anything. 837 00:01:30,746 --> 00:01:30,775 Please, okay? Anything. Like, literally... 838 00:01:30,776 --> 00:01:30,794 fucking anything. 839 00:01:30,795 --> 00:01:30,846 Name anything. Name it. Name it. 840 00:01:30,847 --> 00:01:30,878 All right, look. Hey, man. All right. 841 00:01:30,879 --> 00:01:30,902 Listen, you can trust me, okay? 842 00:01:30,903 --> 00:01:30,949 I'm gonna be totally honest with you. 843 00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:30,978 I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime. 844 00:01:30,979 --> 00:01:31,021 Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys. 845 00:01:31,022 --> 00:01:31,041 I'll be honest with you for a second. 846 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:31,069 You better get us a shitload of cash or a shitload of alcohol... 847 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:31,090 or you're going to fucking prison. 848 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:31,116 What are you doing, man? You don't need to— 849 00:01:31,117 --> 00:01:31,140 No, let's not— Let's hang on a second here. 850 00:01:31,141 --> 00:01:31,154 - Cough it up. - Fine. 851 00:01:31,155 --> 00:01:31,177 Don't know if we should be doing anything official. 852 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:31,219 We're working together. It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go. 853 00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:31,237 Seven bucks? 854 00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:31,273 Are you fucking serious? This isn't enough. What are you, a 6-year-old? 855 00:01:31,274 --> 00:01:31,317 - It's all I have, man. It's all I have. - You better think of something quickly. 856 00:01:31,318 --> 00:01:31,363 - My back! My back. Cops, my back. - No, no, no. Wait, don't do that. 857 00:01:31,364 --> 00:01:31,390 All right, listen. I can get you alcohol. 858 00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:31,417 I'm going over to this party right now, bro. Okay? 859 00:01:31,418 --> 00:01:31,463 It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... 860 00:01:31,464 --> 00:01:31,490 I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? 861 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:31,524 - I think you do. Do you? - Yes. That's a definite yes. 862 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:31,537 Definite yes, then. 863 00:01:31,538 --> 00:01:31,566 - Give me one sec to talk to him. - Stay right here. 864 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:31,605 Yeah, yeah. Do what you gotta do. Mix it over. I'll be over by the car. 865 00:01:31,606 --> 00:01:31,646 Just talk it out. Hey, I'm a nice guy. 866 00:01:31,647 --> 00:01:31,672 - Come on, it's great. - What are you thinking? 867 00:01:31,673 --> 00:01:31,691 - What are you doing? - What? 868 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:31,720 I lost Jules' money, Fogell's dead to us now... 869 00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:31,740 we don't have any choice. Let's go. 870 00:01:31,741 --> 00:01:31,775 I don't like this idea. This guy's fucking creepy, man. Look at him. 871 00:01:31,776 --> 00:01:31,808 What? He looks like a guy. That's what guys look like. 872 00:01:31,809 --> 00:01:31,840 - What is your problem? - You guys know a guy named Jimmy? 873 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:31,866 You totally look like his brother. 874 00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:31,896 You totally look like his brother, man. 875 00:01:31,897 --> 00:01:31,932 You do. 876 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:31,954 You promised Becca you'd get her alcohol. 877 00:01:31,955 --> 00:01:31,979 If you don't, she's gonna have a shitty night. 878 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:32,009 That's all I'm saying. Come on. 879 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:32,038 We bingo, bango, ready to go, go? 880 00:01:32,039 --> 00:01:32,068 - Good luck on your exam tomorrow. - Good luck on your exam. 881 00:01:32,069 --> 00:01:32,102 - You don't wanna ride the bus. - Buses smell like piss, generally. 882 00:01:32,103 --> 00:01:32,116 - You know why? - Why? 883 00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:32,202 People piss on them. 884 00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:32,259 You know, one of you bros could've come up and sat up with me. 885 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:32,280 - We're fine back here. - Back's fine. 886 00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:32,340 Safe in the back seat. 887 00:01:32,341 --> 00:01:32,367 - Oh, my God. - What's up? 888 00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:32,398 - Hey, Jules. - Who is it? Who's on the phone? 889 00:01:32,399 --> 00:01:32,417 Seth. Hey, where are you? 890 00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:32,458 I'm in a cab right now, on the way to a liquor store. 891 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:32,480 Good. I can't wait for you to get here. 892 00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:32,526 Well, I hope your friends are ready to get fucked up. 893 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:32,542 I'm sure they will be. 894 00:01:32,543 --> 00:01:32,577 - Okay, I'll see you soon. - Peace. 895 00:01:32,578 --> 00:01:32,600 Oh, man! Dude, this is crazy. 896 00:01:32,601 --> 00:01:32,632 She called, she said, "I can't wait for you to get there." 897 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:32,667 That sounds like she fully wants it, man! Oh, yeah! 898 00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:32,719 Who's gonna give it to her, huh, my man? You, that's who. 899 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:32,748 Man. 900 00:01:32,749 --> 00:01:32,912 You guys on MySpace, or...? 901 00:01:32,913 --> 00:01:32,959 Officers? I can answer those questions now if you want me to. 902 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:32,995 We get the gist of it. You were buying beer, some guys punched you. 903 00:01:32,996 --> 00:01:33,021 Don't worry about it. We're not gonna find them. 904 00:01:33,022 --> 00:01:33,176 - Case closed. - But it was only— 905 00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:33,218 - But it was only one guy. - Only one guy? Shit. 906 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:33,238 How am I supposed to find one guy? 907 00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:33,278 This job really isn't how, you know, shows like CSI make it out to be. 908 00:01:33,279 --> 00:01:33,321 When I first joined the force, I assumed there was semen on everything... 909 00:01:33,322 --> 00:01:33,350 and there was some, like, huge semen database... 910 00:01:33,351 --> 00:01:33,388 that had every bad guy's semen in it. There isn't. That doesn't exist. 911 00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:33,421 I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where... 912 00:01:33,422 --> 00:01:33,450 everything's covered in semen. - I mean, who doesn't? 913 00:01:33,451 --> 00:01:33,474 It'd be nice. Like that crime scene today. 914 00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:33,504 If the man had ejaculated and then punched you... 915 00:01:33,505 --> 00:01:33,524 we'd have a shot at catching him. 916 00:01:33,525 --> 00:01:33,551 - No way. - Just punched in the face, no semen. 917 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:33,637 - No semen. - Story of my life. 918 00:01:33,638 --> 00:01:33,689 Michaels here, he's six months in. 919 00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:33,717 He's young, but the Force is strong with this one. 920 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:33,746 Learning you are, young padawan. 921 00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:33,778 Thank you very much. 922 00:01:33,779 --> 00:01:33,807 - That's Yoda. - Are you familiar with Yoda? 923 00:01:33,808 --> 00:01:33,826 From Attack of the Clones? 924 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:33,873 We have a 245 at East 24 and Montgomery, Bailey's Bar and Grill. 925 00:01:33,874 --> 00:01:33,897 Car 98 on it. 926 00:01:33,898 --> 00:01:33,932 See, Michaels, you always take a call at a bar because... 927 00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:33,965 better or worse, you get a beer out of it. 928 00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:33,980 Pretty sweet, huh? 929 00:01:33,981 --> 00:01:34,005 - True that. Amazing thinking. - Hey, McLovin. 930 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:34,041 We got a situation at Bailey's, so we'll drop you off after, all right? 931 00:01:34,042 --> 00:01:34,066 Actually, I kind of have to be somewhere— 932 00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:34,102 - Sweet. Sit tight. - Set course for Bailey's, warp 10. 933 00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:34,181 Engage. 934 00:01:34,182 --> 00:01:34,196 Yeah. 935 00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:34,254 Welcome to the Thunderdome. 936 00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:34,286 Hey, man, are you sure it's cool that we're here with you? 937 00:01:34,287 --> 00:01:34,303 Oh, definitely, man. 938 00:01:34,304 --> 00:01:34,327 I'm essentially best friends with the guy... 939 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:34,351 so a bunch of my buds are coming. 940 00:01:34,352 --> 00:01:34,384 We're gonna rock out with our cocks out. Just kidding. 941 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:34,417 - We are gonna rock out. - Just go, just go. 942 00:01:34,418 --> 00:01:34,452 What's up? What's up? What's up? 943 00:01:34,453 --> 00:01:34,677 Hello, hello. Hey, guys. 944 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:34,703 This is something a smart person wouldn't do. 945 00:01:34,704 --> 00:01:34,734 Look, just act cool and act casual, and try and look old. 946 00:01:34,735 --> 00:01:34,808 We'll get the booze and get the fuck out of here, okay? 947 00:01:34,809 --> 00:01:34,834 Hey, where the party at? Right. 948 00:01:34,835 --> 00:01:34,875 - You got those shots, bro? - It's coming. 949 00:01:34,876 --> 00:01:34,894 Come on, let's party. 950 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:34,997 Come on. Do it up. 951 00:01:34,998 --> 00:01:35,023 We should grab one of these buckets and get out. 952 00:01:35,024 --> 00:01:35,057 You out of your mind? How are we gonna get a fucking bucket out? 953 00:01:35,058 --> 00:01:35,079 - Dude, what the fuck? - Hey, man. 954 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:35,102 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 955 00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:35,138 - What are you—? What? Nothing. - You using my phone? 956 00:01:35,139 --> 00:01:35,180 - What do you think you're doing? - Hang on. Nothing. 957 00:01:35,181 --> 00:01:35,203 What— What— What's wrong, Mark? 958 00:01:35,204 --> 00:01:35,235 You weren't invited. Get the fuck out of here. 959 00:01:35,236 --> 00:01:35,272 - Come on, Mark. It's cool, man. - You using my fucking phone? 960 00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:35,294 You calling your fucking friends again? 961 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:35,320 You calling your friends, your fantastic friends? 962 00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:35,343 No. I mean, yes. But I mean I'll— 963 00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:35,373 Come on, man, just relax. Mark, please. 964 00:01:35,374 --> 00:01:35,399 Get the fuck out of here. The fuck out of my house. 965 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:35,418 Get the fuck out of my house. 966 00:01:35,419 --> 00:01:35,457 - This is my house. - Don't be such a dick, man! 967 00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:35,475 What the fuck? 968 00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:35,499 Mark! You really wanna do this, man? 969 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:35,545 Here we go. We're really gonna do this? 970 00:01:35,546 --> 00:01:35,577 That's right, motherfucker. 971 00:01:35,578 --> 00:01:35,609 Come on, pussy. Get up, dude. 972 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:35,641 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. 973 00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:35,683 Tiger got out of the cage, man. All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark. 974 00:01:35,684 --> 00:01:35,713 Let's just chill. Everyone just chill out. 975 00:01:35,714 --> 00:01:35,767 Truce, man. 976 00:01:35,768 --> 00:01:35,815 Right in the nads! 977 00:01:35,816 --> 00:01:35,857 This is for your friends. Here, have another one. 978 00:01:35,858 --> 00:01:35,895 Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Oh, my God. What do we do? 979 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:35,926 - Come on. come on. - Choose one. 980 00:01:35,927 --> 00:01:35,982 - We can slip out the back, man. - Come on. Let's hurry up and do this. 981 00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:36,008 Are you crazy, man? Wanna end up like that guy? 982 00:01:36,009 --> 00:01:36,039 Not me. I need my nuts, man, for a lot of things. 983 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:36,060 - We need liquor. - You need it. I don't. 984 00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:36,092 I'm gonna tell Becca how I feel. Maybe she'll get with me. 985 00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:36,120 I'm not gonna get her drunk out of her mind. 986 00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:36,153 Oh, really? Then how come you never made a move, you pussy? 987 00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:36,192 Because I respect her, Seth. I'm not gonna put unfair pressure on her. 988 00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:36,217 I don't see a problem. Let's just do it. 989 00:01:36,218 --> 00:01:36,249 We're leaving, okay? You wanna get killed for liquor? 990 00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:36,288 No, but I would get killed for pussy, no questions asked. 991 00:01:36,289 --> 00:01:36,325 - Fuck this, man. - You're just gonna bail on me? 992 00:01:36,326 --> 00:01:36,363 - I'm going. - Fucking bitch. 993 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:36,401 Move, people. 994 00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:36,543 - Thank you. - Oh, I love this place. 995 00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:36,563 What the hell is going on in there? 996 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:36,590 If the bullets start flying, hit the deck. 997 00:01:36,591 --> 00:01:36,617 You pissed everywhere, you son of a bitch! 998 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:36,655 Everywhere? You didn't see me pissing anywhere. 999 00:01:36,656 --> 00:01:36,677 I don't know what you're talking about. 1000 00:01:36,678 --> 00:01:36,698 Take your nuts out of your shells! 1001 00:01:36,699 --> 00:01:36,718 Michaels, I got your back. 1002 00:01:36,719 --> 00:01:36,741 Why don't you show this rummy how we roll? 1003 00:01:36,742 --> 00:01:36,762 10-4. 1004 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:36,810 Excuse me, sir. Stop what you are doing at once. 1005 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:36,847 - Blue guys! - Resisting. Resisting! 1006 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:36,870 - Slater! - Michaels! 1007 00:01:36,871 --> 00:01:36,904 Everybody stay calm. 1008 00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:36,944 - Everybody stay calm. - Get the fuck out of my way! 1009 00:01:36,945 --> 00:01:36,974 Stay calm! Fuck! 1010 00:01:36,975 --> 00:01:36,997 - Should I shoot him? - No, no, no! 1011 00:01:36,998 --> 00:01:37,025 - No! - Stop him, McLovin! 1012 00:01:37,026 --> 00:01:37,105 McLovin, stop him! Do it, do it, do it, do it! 1013 00:01:37,106 --> 00:01:37,305 Please stop it, you fucking bum. What the fuck? 1014 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:37,344 McLovin! Nice! 1015 00:01:37,345 --> 00:01:37,368 He just came at me. I took him down. 1016 00:01:37,369 --> 00:01:37,398 - I'm buying you a beer, McLovin. - I'm buying you one too. 1017 00:01:37,399 --> 00:01:37,429 Take note. That's how you take down a motherfucker. 1018 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:37,446 That's right. 1019 00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:37,861 McLovin in the fucking house! 1020 00:01:37,862 --> 00:01:37,920 Hey. You dance hot. 1021 00:01:37,921 --> 00:01:38,114 Thank you. 1022 00:01:38,115 --> 00:01:38,166 Okay, okay. Here we— Here we go. 1023 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:38,188 - Hello? - Evan, it's Becca. 1024 00:01:38,189 --> 00:01:38,209 Oh, Becca. Hi. 1025 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:38,260 Hey. Hello. Hey. Becca. 1026 00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:38,279 - Becca— - Evan, can you hear me? 1027 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:38,304 - Hello? What? - Can you hear—? Piece of shit! 1028 00:01:38,305 --> 00:01:38,333 Guy sells me a piece of shit fucking phone. 1029 00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:38,351 - Becca? - It's Becca. 1030 00:01:38,352 --> 00:01:38,375 I get one bar everywhere I fucking go. 1031 00:01:38,376 --> 00:01:38,408 - What is he saying? - Fucking asshole. 1032 00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:38,430 - I think— - What happened? 1033 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:38,450 Son-of-a-fucking-bitch phone company. 1034 00:01:38,451 --> 00:01:38,482 - That's— That's rude. Hello? - Fuck. You suck. 1035 00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:38,502 Bullshit phone. Piece of shit. 1036 00:01:38,503 --> 00:01:38,530 I swear I'll bitchslap you so fucking hard. 1037 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:39,037 - What? - Bec—? 1038 00:01:39,038 --> 00:01:39,077 Thanks. 1039 00:01:39,078 --> 00:01:39,196 This is fucking crazy. 1040 00:01:39,197 --> 00:01:39,253 Hey. Look what fell out of the truck! 1041 00:01:39,254 --> 00:01:39,271 You're full of shit. 1042 00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:39,301 Yeah, I know. 1043 00:01:39,302 --> 00:01:39,354 Dude. Dude. We're so gonna get fucked up. 1044 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:39,386 - All right. - Hey. 1045 00:01:39,387 --> 00:01:39,419 What is that? 1046 00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:39,440 I don't know. What? 1047 00:01:39,441 --> 00:01:39,487 That fucking stain on your pants, idiot. What is that? 1048 00:01:39,488 --> 00:01:39,520 - What are you talking about, man? - Dude. 1049 00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:39,550 - Is that blood? - What the fuck is that? 1050 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:39,574 - Are you bleeding? - I'm not cut or anything. 1051 00:01:39,575 --> 00:01:39,617 - Why would I be bleeding? - It's fucking blood, man. 1052 00:01:39,618 --> 00:01:39,653 Were you dancing with some chick in there? 1053 00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:39,680 - Yeah, so? - It's blood. 1054 00:01:39,681 --> 00:01:39,721 - Dude, that's not funny. - It's blood, dude. 1055 00:01:39,722 --> 00:01:39,763 But why would I be bleeding? Why the fuck would I be bl—? 1056 00:01:39,764 --> 00:01:39,808 Dude, why would there be bl—? 1057 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:39,866 Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. 1058 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:39,906 Oh, shit. I'm gonna fucking throw up. 1059 00:01:39,907 --> 00:01:39,925 Someone perioded on my fucking leg? 1060 00:01:39,926 --> 00:01:39,950 - Oh, shit. - What the fuck do I do? 1061 00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:39,977 I've never before seen that in my life! 1062 00:01:39,978 --> 00:01:39,998 This is so disgusting. 1063 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:40,017 - Yes, it is. - I'm gonna go get Bill. 1064 00:01:40,018 --> 00:01:40,036 - He's gotta check this shit out. - Fuck, yeah. 1065 00:01:40,037 --> 00:01:40,074 No. Who's Bill? Don't tell Bill! Bill has nothing to do with this! 1066 00:01:40,075 --> 00:01:40,105 Hey, calm down. Let me get a picture of that real quick. 1067 00:01:40,106 --> 00:01:40,122 No, you can't have a picture! 1068 00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:40,145 - Dude, stop! - Bill, Bill! Check it out! 1069 00:01:40,146 --> 00:01:40,168 This kid's got period blood on his slacks. 1070 00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:40,190 It's merlot. That's what you don't get. 1071 00:01:40,191 --> 00:01:40,222 Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's got period blood on his pants! 1072 00:01:40,223 --> 00:01:40,246 - Please stop. - God, man, let me see. 1073 00:01:40,247 --> 00:01:40,281 Oh, my God, that's a fucking man-gina, man. 1074 00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:40,326 - Do you need a tampon? I could— - Wait, wait. I have one! I have one! 1075 00:01:40,327 --> 00:01:40,351 Yeah, right? I don't know. 1076 00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:40,386 - I gotta wash this off. Is this the line? - What does it look like? 1077 00:01:40,387 --> 00:01:40,575 Fuck me, right? 1078 00:01:40,576 --> 00:01:40,627 "Yeah, I'm McLovin. I'd like to buy some—" 1079 00:01:40,628 --> 00:01:40,647 Shit. 1080 00:01:40,648 --> 00:01:40,675 - Rewind, rewind. - Rewind it. Yeah! 1081 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:40,725 So hot. Let's see it again. 1082 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:40,765 - Your legs lifted off the ground. - That is bona fide badass, man. 1083 00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:40,794 You gotta keep that tape, McLovin. It is badass. 1084 00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:40,810 - It really is. - Really? 1085 00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:40,844 Well, don't you guys, like, need it for, like, evidence or...? 1086 00:01:40,845 --> 00:01:40,881 The only thing that's evidence of is you can take a hit like a champ. 1087 00:01:40,882 --> 00:01:40,902 Seriously. Take that. 1088 00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:40,962 Are there any ladies we'd like to show this tape to? 1089 00:01:40,963 --> 00:01:41,003 No. You don't wanna meet a chick in a bar, man. Seriously. 1090 00:01:41,004 --> 00:01:41,035 That was a turning point in my life, when I realized that. 1091 00:01:41,036 --> 00:01:41,084 You gotta go to other places. You gotta go to a spin class, a farmers' market... 1092 00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:41,116 pumpkin patch, given the time of year. 1093 00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:41,146 Just somewhere social, non-threatening. 1094 00:01:41,147 --> 00:01:41,184 - You know, something like that. - Yeah, I met the missus at paintball. 1095 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:41,219 Yeah, I shot her in the neck. And we just... 1096 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:41,242 And we just hit it off, you know. 1097 00:01:41,243 --> 00:01:41,283 My first wife— Who is a whore, by the way. 1098 00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:41,300 —Where do you think I met her? 1099 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:41,333 A bar. A bar. 1100 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:41,358 - It was this bar. - It was this bar. 1101 00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:41,385 Yeah, it was this bar. 1102 00:01:41,386 --> 00:01:41,428 Bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag... 1103 00:01:41,429 --> 00:01:41,491 and next thing I know, she's putting her mouth around the tip of my penis. 1104 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:41,516 You don't have to tell me that. 1105 00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:41,549 - Right in there. - She opened up my world, sexually. 1106 00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:41,578 On our wedding night, we had group sex. 1107 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:41,596 I wasn't involved in it. 1108 00:01:41,597 --> 00:01:41,626 - But I could hear it through the wall. - I was. 1109 00:01:41,627 --> 00:01:41,661 She was amazing. And then it was exactly 23 months later... 1110 00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:41,686 that I found out she was an actual whore. 1111 00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:41,710 - We discovered her on the street. - Yeah. 1112 00:01:41,711 --> 00:01:41,729 I'm sorry. 1113 00:01:41,730 --> 00:01:41,756 She was bad. Fucking whoring bitch. 1114 00:01:41,757 --> 00:01:41,796 - But you got a new wife now, so... - Yeah. Yeah. 1115 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:41,824 And she is wonderful. 1116 00:01:41,825 --> 00:01:41,848 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You'll meet her. 1117 00:01:41,849 --> 00:01:41,875 You know what? I bet I know your trick, McLovin. 1118 00:01:41,876 --> 00:01:41,902 - You play the whole myst— - Calling all units. 1119 00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:41,923 Just turn that off. 1120 00:01:41,924 --> 00:01:41,958 Send backup! There's so much blood— 1121 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:42,009 I bet you play the whole mysterious-guy thing, right? 1122 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:42,047 Yeah, seriously. How's it going with the ladies? 1123 00:01:42,048 --> 00:01:42,095 It's not the going with the ladies I care about... 1124 00:01:42,096 --> 00:01:42,147 it's the coming. 1125 00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:42,171 - I get it. - What is it? What is it? 1126 00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:42,238 Like coming. 1127 00:01:42,239 --> 00:01:42,340 - That's funny. That is really funny. - Oh, my God. 1128 00:01:42,341 --> 00:01:42,378 All right, looks like we got a call. We can't pay for these. 1129 00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:42,394 10-4. We'll be right there. 1130 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:42,430 - Speedy Gonzales, let's go. - We should get road beers. 1131 00:01:42,431 --> 00:01:42,454 Hell, yeah, we should get some road beers. 1132 00:01:42,455 --> 00:01:42,480 Can I have 13 beers to go, please? 1133 00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:42,697 Please. God, my fucking leg. 1134 00:01:42,698 --> 00:01:43,007 Fuck. 1135 00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:43,035 - I think it's him. - Is it him? 1136 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:43,052 - Hello? - Hey, Becca. 1137 00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:43,095 Hi, I had a bad reception. So about your Goldslick... 1138 00:01:43,096 --> 00:01:43,127 - Guys, shut up. - Hey, what's going on over there? 1139 00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:43,152 It's nothing. It's just— 1140 00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:43,186 I was just calling, you know, to see if you were coming... 1141 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:43,224 because I thought maybe you were stuck at, like, a nightclub... 1142 00:01:43,225 --> 00:01:43,255 or a cocktail party or something. 1143 00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:43,294 No, no, I'm gonna be there for sure. Full throttle. 1144 00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:43,333 - Charlie's Angels 2. - A wesome. 1145 00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:43,361 - I can't wait to see you. Evan? - Okay, bye. 1146 00:01:43,362 --> 00:01:43,402 That was the first time I ever did coke. Off that bitch's nipple. That was so— 1147 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:43,423 - A little white sniff. - That was awesome. 1148 00:01:43,424 --> 00:01:43,437 That was gorgeous. 1149 00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:43,475 Hey, hey, hey. You guys, stay in this room, man. 1150 00:01:43,476 --> 00:01:43,513 They're gonna kill that guy tonight. That chick's boyfriend is pissed. 1151 00:01:43,514 --> 00:01:43,532 Yeah. He's a beast. 1152 00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:43,568 I've been praying for a fight. I'm literally waking up and praying... 1153 00:01:43,569 --> 00:01:43,615 to see a fucking fight. - Hey, hey, hey. 1154 00:01:43,616 --> 00:01:43,683 Who's that guy? 1155 00:01:43,684 --> 00:01:43,697 - Hi. - Who is that guy? 1156 00:01:43,698 --> 00:01:43,722 - Who's this guy? - Pleasure to see you fellas. 1157 00:01:43,723 --> 00:01:43,736 Hi, everyone. 1158 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:43,756 - Who are you? - I'm nobody. 1159 00:01:43,757 --> 00:01:43,776 No, no, no. I know you. I know you. 1160 00:01:43,777 --> 00:01:43,803 He was at that party I was telling you about. 1161 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:43,819 - No, no. - Who is it? 1162 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:43,858 Remember? He's Jimmy's brother. The guy. The singer. 1163 00:01:43,859 --> 00:01:43,887 - No shit. - He's the guy with the beautiful voice. 1164 00:01:43,888 --> 00:01:43,918 - The fucking singer, Jimmy's brother! - That's not me, man. 1165 00:01:43,919 --> 00:01:43,940 - Oh, my God. - Sing for us! Sing. 1166 00:01:43,941 --> 00:01:43,958 "It's not me"? You fucking lying? 1167 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:43,995 No, I don't mean to accuse you guys of being ill-informed, but— 1168 00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:44,023 My brother came from Scottsdale, Arizona to be here. 1169 00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:44,041 You're not gonna sing for him? 1170 00:01:44,042 --> 00:01:44,056 - Fucking bullshit. - Sing. 1171 00:01:44,057 --> 00:01:44,082 - You're a fucking singer. - You sing good. 1172 00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:44,101 - Sing it again. - Like a bird. 1173 00:01:44,102 --> 00:01:44,132 - No, I know, I just— I want to. - You want a line of cocaine? 1174 00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:44,147 - No way, man. - Yeah. 1175 00:01:44,148 --> 00:01:44,173 Don't make this weird. Sing. 1176 00:01:44,174 --> 00:01:44,246 - Sing it again. - Turbo. 1177 00:01:44,247 --> 00:01:44,271 - Fuck! Over! - Okay, watch this. 1178 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:44,305 I'll get it right on the nose. 1179 00:01:44,306 --> 00:01:44,332 You're gonna fuck it up. You're gonna fuck it up. 1180 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:44,354 Undefl 1181 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:44,381 I feel hammered. That doesn't make any sense. 1182 00:01:44,382 --> 00:01:44,412 - You're a fucking pussy. - Okay, okay. Great, great. 1183 00:01:44,413 --> 00:01:44,453 - Okay, McLovin, see if you can do it. - The kid's gonna nail it. 1184 00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:44,487 Come on, McLovin. Do it, buddy. Come on, buddy! 1185 00:01:44,488 --> 00:01:44,518 - Bring it! - 0.08, motherfuckers! 1186 00:01:44,519 --> 00:01:44,552 - Man! 'That's my boy! 1187 00:01:44,553 --> 00:01:44,583 - Yes! - Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck. 1188 00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:44,617 So, what's it like to have guns? 1189 00:01:44,618 --> 00:01:44,649 It is awesome, McLovin. 1190 00:01:44,650 --> 00:01:44,670 - I mean, it's mindbl— - It's great. 1191 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:44,702 I haven't had one for long, a few months, but I'll tell you... 1192 00:01:44,703 --> 00:01:44,724 it's like having two cocks. - Yup. 1193 00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:44,768 If one of your cocks could kill someone. 1194 00:01:44,769 --> 00:01:44,799 - Can I hold one? - What? 1195 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:44,850 Can I hold one of your guns? 1196 00:01:44,851 --> 00:01:44,886 - Yeah, sure. - Fine with me. Why not? 1197 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:44,914 Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times. 1198 00:01:44,915 --> 00:01:44,932 Yeah, there you go. 1199 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:44,960 - Have a blast. - "Have a blast." 1200 00:01:44,961 --> 00:01:45,009 - That's funny. - I've never held one of these before. 1201 00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:45,041 - Are they hard to shoot? - If you're Michaels, they are. 1202 00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:45,062 - He can't shoot worth dick. - What? 1203 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:45,081 I can shoot. What are you—? Wait. 1204 00:01:45,082 --> 00:01:45,109 - I can't shoot worth dick? - You cannot shoot. 1205 00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:45,138 - I shot that cat last week. - It was already dead, man. 1206 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:45,158 - I still shot it. - That cat was dead. 1207 00:01:45,159 --> 00:01:45,185 There's only one way to settle this, guys. 1208 00:01:45,186 --> 00:01:45,204 - Shoot-off. - Shoot-off. 1209 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:45,238 - Shoot-off! - Shoot-off! 1210 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:45,259 There's a lot of reasons why I like you. 1211 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:45,287 I mean, you're handsome and you're a good friend. 1212 00:01:45,288 --> 00:01:45,353 Dude, there he is. That's the guy. Hey, Mark, right there. 1213 00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:45,385 Oh, you got a stain too. 1214 00:01:45,386 --> 00:01:45,411 - We're blood brothers. - Shut the fuck up. 1215 00:01:45,412 --> 00:01:45,441 You're in my house, you answer my questions. 1216 00:01:45,442 --> 00:01:45,492 What were you doing dancing with Jacinda? 1217 00:01:45,493 --> 00:01:45,509 I don't even dance. I just— 1218 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:45,539 I don't even dance ever, so— I've never even tried it. 1219 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:45,585 Then where the hell did this come from, asshole? 1220 00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:45,615 Maybe you and I rubbed up against each other at some point. 1221 00:01:45,616 --> 00:01:45,651 I don't remember. Maybe it was some ricochet scenario. I don't know. 1222 00:01:45,652 --> 00:01:45,676 - How am I supposed to know? - Kick his ass, Mark. 1223 00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:45,705 Shut the fuck up, Scarlett. 1224 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:45,828 Where do you get off dancing with my fiancée? 1225 00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:45,989 To some girl. 1226 00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:46,118 Talk about the hurting. 1227 00:01:46,119 --> 00:01:46,389 - Aw, shit. - All right. 1228 00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:46,410 - Yo! Fight! - Move it! 1229 00:01:46,411 --> 00:01:46,431 - Go, check this out! - Oh, fuck! 1230 00:01:46,432 --> 00:01:46,459 And what the hell is this? 1231 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:46,515 - I don't fucking— It's detergent. - Yeah, what are you doing with it? 1232 00:01:46,516 --> 00:01:46,551 I got fucking blood on my pants. 1233 00:01:46,552 --> 00:01:46,590 Get down. 1234 00:01:46,591 --> 00:01:46,629 What the fuck is this all about, man? Are you—? 1235 00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:46,672 - Well, fuck me. - FeHas. 1236 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:46,708 Oh, shit, I've been tackled by little girls! 1237 00:01:46,709 --> 00:01:46,750 You die! You're next! 1238 00:01:46,751 --> 00:01:46,805 I should fucking kill you, you motherfucker! 1239 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:46,852 - Hold him, Jimmy's brother! Hold him! - What do you mean? No. No way! 1240 00:01:46,853 --> 00:01:46,874 - You humiliated me! - I'm sorry! 1241 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:46,915 - You used my leg as a tampon! - I'm calling the cops. 1242 00:01:46,916 --> 00:01:46,970 Evan! Come on! Move! 1243 00:01:46,971 --> 00:01:47,002 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. 1244 00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:47,050 Yeah. Fifth and Paysview. Hurry. 1245 00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:47,083 Mark, I called the cops. You should hide your gun. 1246 00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:47,103 You're a fucking pussy. 1247 00:01:47,104 --> 00:01:47,119 Don't listen to him, officer. 1248 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:47,149 If you make this, we're no longer friends, Michaels. 1249 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:47,189 - You're a fucking pussy. - Cheating. You're cheating. 1250 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:47,242 - Fuck me. - Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater! 1251 00:01:47,243 --> 00:01:47,265 All right, you— That was a lucky shot. 1252 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:47,302 - That was a lucky shot. - I rule. 1253 00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:47,319 I gotjizzed on. All right. 1254 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:47,343 - Can I shoot one? - Yeah, go nuts. Go nuts. 1255 00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:47,362 Have a good time, man. 1256 00:01:47,363 --> 00:01:47,397 Empty the clip. Empty the clip on it, man. Shit! 1257 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:47,456 The cops! Bail! Bail! Bail! Shotgun, shotgun! Damn it! 1258 00:01:47,457 --> 00:01:47,577 Shotgun. 1259 00:01:47,578 --> 00:01:47,607 - What a rush. - What do you guys wanna do? 1260 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:47,637 - Man, let's get drunk! - Let's get more fucked up! 1261 00:01:47,638 --> 00:01:47,661 You're fucking living the dream Michaels! 1262 00:01:47,662 --> 00:01:47,675 Oh, man. 1263 00:01:47,676 --> 00:01:47,697 This is gonna be the best night ever. 1264 00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:47,726 - Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview. - Shit. 1265 00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:47,754 All units in the area report to Fifth and Paysview. 1266 00:01:47,755 --> 00:01:47,782 - Car 98, that's you. Do it. - Fuck. 1267 00:01:47,783 --> 00:01:47,807 - Shit. - Shit. 1268 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:47,846 Car 98 on it. You dumb fucking whore. 1269 00:01:47,847 --> 00:01:47,881 Hey, did she say we're gonna get to shoot somebody or something? 1270 00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:47,899 Oh, God, I Wish. 1271 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:47,938 It's probably some lame house party. We'll drop you off after. Cool? 1272 00:01:47,939 --> 00:01:48,127 Yeah, man. Let's show these fuckers how we roll! 1273 00:01:48,128 --> 00:01:48,200 - You fucking prick. - What? 1274 00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:48,246 - You bailed on me. - I didn't bail on you. 1275 00:01:48,247 --> 00:01:48,271 Yeah, you did. 1276 00:01:48,272 --> 00:01:48,305 You said you were gonna do something and you didn't do it. 1277 00:01:48,306 --> 00:01:48,320 That's bailing. 1278 00:01:48,321 --> 00:01:48,358 You're the one that dragged me to that fucking party with those lunatics. 1279 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:48,415 - I didn't bail on you. - You bailed on me, okay? 1280 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:48,444 You bailed on me this morning when Jesse spat on me... 1281 00:01:48,445 --> 00:01:48,465 and you're bailing on me next year. 1282 00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:48,501 What the fuck? It finally comes out. That's good, man. 1283 00:01:48,502 --> 00:01:48,525 We were supposed to go to college together. 1284 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:48,550 Since we were kids, since elementary school... 1285 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:48,579 that's all we've ever talked about, us going together. 1286 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:48,601 And you got into fucking Dartmouth. 1287 00:01:48,602 --> 00:01:48,624 You're making me feel like I'm a bad guy. 1288 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:48,666 What—? I didn't do anything wrong. I got into a good school. 1289 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:48,704 How the fuck am I supposed to get into Dartmouth'? You knew I couldn't. 1290 00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:48,722 How fucking selfish are you? 1291 00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:48,747 You had no problem letting Fogell take the fall. 1292 00:01:48,748 --> 00:01:48,771 You don't want me going to a good school. 1293 00:01:48,772 --> 00:01:48,793 - Fuck, man! - So what the fuck do you want? 1294 00:01:48,794 --> 00:01:48,859 I'm not gonna let you slow me down any more, Seth. 1295 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:48,879 What are you saying? 1296 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:48,922 I've wasted the last three years sitting around talking bullshit with you. 1297 00:01:48,923 --> 00:01:48,946 Instead of chasing girls and making friends... 1298 00:01:48,947 --> 00:01:48,982 I've just sat around wasting all my time with you. 1299 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:49,013 And now I'm going to college a fucking friendless virgin. 1300 00:01:49,014 --> 00:01:49,054 Is this about Becca? This is about some girl, man? 1301 00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:49,072 - I like her! - Who gives a fuck? 1302 00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:49,098 She's some fucking girl! You gonna go out with her? 1303 00:01:49,099 --> 00:01:49,132 - What about after that? - Fuck you, you're a piece of shit. 1304 00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:49,165 Fuck you! And next time you're pissed off about something... 1305 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:49,198 don't keep it inside for 10 years, say it like a fucking man! 1306 00:01:49,199 --> 00:01:49,237 - Don't touch me. - Fuck you! 1307 00:01:49,238 --> 00:01:49,273 Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? 1308 00:01:49,274 --> 00:01:49,316 - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. 1309 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:49,399 Oh, that's true. 1310 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:49,430 Where the fuck are we? 1311 00:01:49,431 --> 00:01:49,454 - Hey, Slater. - What's that? 1312 00:01:49,455 --> 00:01:49,511 Slater. 1313 00:01:49,512 --> 00:01:49,569 Now, young Michaels, you will die. 1314 00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:49,608 All right. Come on, stop it. I can't fucking see. I can't see. Fuck it. 1315 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:49,630 - Like it? - Hey, fuck off, that hurts. 1316 00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:49,652 - You stop first. - Not until you stop. 1317 00:01:49,653 --> 00:01:49,682 - Stop it, asshole. - Hey, you stop. 1318 00:01:49,683 --> 00:01:49,837 - Fuck you, Evan! - Don't fucking touch me. 1319 00:01:49,838 --> 00:01:49,852 Why did you do that? 1320 00:01:49,853 --> 00:01:49,878 - You shined the light in my face. - You did too. 1321 00:01:49,879 --> 00:01:49,903 - I'm driving. - We were playing Lightsabers. 1322 00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:49,927 - Excuse me. - Oh, my God. 1323 00:01:49,928 --> 00:01:49,990 Are you guys gonna make sure he's okay? 1324 00:01:49,991 --> 00:01:50,007 - Check on him. - You check. 1325 00:01:50,008 --> 00:01:50,048 - You go out there and check on him. - Fuck that. You go. 1326 00:01:50,049 --> 00:01:50,112 Balls. Okay, we'll both go out there and check on him. 1327 00:01:50,113 --> 00:01:50,155 I can't believe this is happening again. What are the odds? 1328 00:01:50,156 --> 00:01:50,212 Fuck. 1329 00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:50,256 - Is everyone okay? - Yeah, we're great, thanks. 1330 00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:50,307 Hey, hey, where's the love? 1331 00:01:50,308 --> 00:01:50,359 - He's okay. He's fine. - Stand right next to your friend. 1332 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:50,382 - Get over there. - I got them. 1333 00:01:50,383 --> 00:01:50,473 You got these guys? 1334 00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:50,496 You boys doing a bit of drinking tonight? 1335 00:01:50,497 --> 00:01:50,544 - No, officer. Not at all. Not— We— - We found those. 1336 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:50,598 I don't believe you. 1337 00:01:50,599 --> 00:01:50,624 Freeze. Stand right there. 1338 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:50,649 - We're telling the truth. - Keep it going. 1339 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:50,677 - Don't be a hero tonight, guys. - Wrong night for that. 1340 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:50,697 You gotta fucking take care of this. 1341 00:01:50,698 --> 00:01:50,744 No. Look, I am not fixing your mistakes again, okay? Fuck that shit. 1342 00:01:50,745 --> 00:01:50,772 I don't wanna get shitcanned I like this job. 1343 00:01:50,773 --> 00:01:50,800 Me too. I get free haircuts. I'm not taking the fall. 1344 00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:50,829 Okay, okay! 1345 00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:50,855 We're gonna arrest these two little dipshits, okay? 1346 00:01:50,856 --> 00:01:50,882 And we're gonna pin it on them. 1347 00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:50,970 Yeah, do what you have to do. 1348 00:01:50,971 --> 00:01:50,984 Spread your shit! 1349 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:51,020 Get on the ground! Loaded gun, ready to go! 1350 00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:51,051 Spread your shit! Pussies on the pavement, fellas. 1351 00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:51,078 - Come on! - Please don't shoot, sir. 1352 00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:51,125 "Please don't shoot." Shut up and spread your shit! 1353 00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:51,159 I am the law! Okay? 1354 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:51,174 Now hold hands. 1355 00:01:51,175 --> 00:01:51,191 - What? - Why? 1356 00:01:51,192 --> 00:01:51,234 You don't want an asshole where your face used to be, Whaling Jennings. 1357 00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:51,263 - Hold his fucking hand! - Fucking hold my hand. 1358 00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:51,291 There. That's not so hard, is it? 1359 00:01:51,292 --> 00:01:51,332 Here, McLovin, have a cigarette. 1360 00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:51,360 Smoke up. Life's short, you know. 1361 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:51,384 Suck it in, my friend. 1362 00:01:51,385 --> 00:01:51,416 Suck it long and deep. 1363 00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:51,439 Enjoy it. 1364 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:51,484 McLovin, McLovin, McLovin. 1365 00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:51,544 - You like Officer Slater and myself? - Yeah, you guys are awesome. 1366 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:51,581 Thanks. We really like you too, McLovin. 1367 00:01:51,582 --> 00:01:51,601 So here's what's about to happen. 1368 00:01:51,602 --> 00:01:51,619 We're gonna arrest these guys... 1369 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:51,661 you're gonna write a witness report saying they leapt in front of our car... 1370 00:01:51,662 --> 00:01:51,701 and there was nothing we could do. Sound cool? 1371 00:01:51,702 --> 00:01:51,735 - Yeah, that's fine. - Good. 1372 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:51,763 That's good. Pretend he's your little sister. 1373 00:01:51,764 --> 00:01:51,906 Your little sister with the... 1374 00:01:51,907 --> 00:01:52,055 What the fuck? 1375 00:01:52,056 --> 00:01:52,176 Fage/I? 1376 00:01:52,177 --> 00:01:52,242 - Shit! - Shit! 1377 00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:52,260 Run! Run! 1378 00:01:52,261 --> 00:01:52,276 Wait. 1379 00:01:52,277 --> 00:01:52,316 Hold on, I gotta get all the booze. Seth, wait up! 1380 00:01:52,317 --> 00:01:52,337 McLovin bailed! 1381 00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:52,444 Chase the kid! 1382 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:52,689 S'tOp! 1383 00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:52,742 That was a fast kid. 1384 00:01:52,743 --> 00:01:52,819 I want a ride! You hear me? You can't unarrest me! 1385 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:52,860 S'tOp! 1386 00:01:52,861 --> 00:01:52,925 - McLovin! - Come on. 1387 00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:52,946 McLovin! 1388 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:52,999 McLovin! Why? 1389 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:53,032 McLovin, come back! 1390 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:53,089 My hand! Monster! Nicole! Nicole, get Daddy. 1391 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:53,119 - Get Daddy. - Get Daddy! 1392 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:53,185 - Oh, shit. - Get away from my kids! 1393 00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:53,242 You sick sons of bitches! 1394 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:53,323 What the fuck? 1395 00:01:53,324 --> 00:01:53,353 Michaels, are you okay? 1396 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:53,375 - It's just beer. - Give me a break. 1397 00:01:53,376 --> 00:01:53,395 - It's just beer. - Man up. 1398 00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:53,415 What happened? What, did you lose him? 1399 00:01:53,416 --> 00:01:53,448 He's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive. 1400 00:01:53,449 --> 00:01:53,479 - This is not good. - He's the fastest kid alive. 1401 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:53,516 Fastest kid alive, my ass. Come on. What are we gonna do? 1402 00:01:53,517 --> 00:01:53,539 I'll shoot my gun in the air. 1403 00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:53,563 Give me a fucking warning before you do it. 1404 00:01:53,564 --> 00:01:53,587 I'll scare him out of wherever he's hiding. 1405 00:01:53,588 --> 00:01:53,619 This isn't gonna do shit. Get in the car. Get in the car. 1406 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:53,646 This is your fault, you piece of— 1407 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:53,674 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. They shot Seth. 1408 00:01:53,675 --> 00:01:53,706 They fucking shot Seth, I know it. 1409 00:01:53,707 --> 00:01:53,722 Holy shit. 1410 00:01:53,723 --> 00:01:53,751 Holy shit. Holy shit. 1411 00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:53,816 - Should I run? - Yes. 1412 00:01:53,817 --> 00:01:53,842 - Fuck. Stop! - Stop the bus! 1413 00:01:53,843 --> 00:01:53,860 "$t<>r> it! 1414 00:01:53,861 --> 00:01:53,914 - It's stopping. - Oh, thank God. 1415 00:01:53,915 --> 00:01:53,965 Hey, Evan, pay for me, please. 1416 00:01:53,966 --> 00:01:53,988 That's me and him. 1417 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:54,030 Hey, hey. It's you. 1418 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:54,048 McMuffin. 1419 00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:54,066 - You know this guy? - It's— 1420 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:54,113 Ain't got no cop people to help you keep your booze now, do you? 1421 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:54,152 Hey! Back the fuck up, man, or I'll beat the shit out of you. 1422 00:01:54,153 --> 00:01:54,178 - Give me the booze. - Hey! Back the fuck up. 1423 00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:54,215 Back the fuck up. Back the fuck up. 1424 00:01:54,216 --> 00:01:54,336 Please, please, calm down, sir. 1425 00:01:54,337 --> 00:01:54,522 Goldslick. 1426 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:54,620 Get off the bus or I'm calling the cops. 1427 00:01:54,621 --> 00:01:54,647 Eat shit, bum. 1428 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:54,672 Oh, shit, guys. We're three blocks away, man. 1429 00:01:54,673 --> 00:01:54,702 We made it. We made it with the booze and everything. 1430 00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:54,719 We made it. 1431 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:54,743 Hold this. 1432 00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:54,782 I can't believe you still have the liquor. 1433 00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:54,797 That's awesome. 1434 00:01:54,798 --> 00:01:54,833 Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops. 1435 00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:54,887 I'm McLovin. I am McLovin. 1436 00:01:54,888 --> 00:01:54,905 Why do you guys have detergent? 1437 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:54,940 I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops. 1438 00:01:54,941 --> 00:01:54,960 Because I fucking rule. 1439 00:01:54,961 --> 00:01:54,999 - We are so gonna get laid tonight. - I am. I'm gonna get laid. 1440 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:55,051 We're finally gonna get our drinks on. 1441 00:01:55,052 --> 00:01:55,071 I can't believe Becca's bottle broke. 1442 00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:55,089 - I'm sure it'll be fine. - Yeah. 1443 00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:55,123 I thought you didn't need it. You were gonna tell her how you feel. 1444 00:01:55,124 --> 00:01:55,154 Good luck getting Jules drunk enough to have sex with you. 1445 00:01:55,155 --> 00:01:55,177 - What's wrong with you guys? - Nothing. 1446 00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:55,215 You two femmes can talk about it next year at your little slumber party. 1447 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:55,236 Oh, you told him. 1448 00:01:55,237 --> 00:01:55,268 - Told me what? - Yeah. You're an idiot, Fogell. 1449 00:01:55,269 --> 00:01:55,290 - Well, we gotta tell him now. - No, we— 1450 00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:55,308 Well, he knows something's up. 1451 00:01:55,309 --> 00:01:55,336 What are you guys talking about? Tell me now. 1452 00:01:55,337 --> 00:01:55,363 Seth, me and Evan are rooming together next year. 1453 00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:55,376 What's the big deal? 1454 00:01:55,377 --> 00:01:55,400 "Oh, my God, Fogell's rooming with Evan." 1455 00:01:55,401 --> 00:01:55,421 Jeez, why don't you go cry about it? 1456 00:01:55,422 --> 00:01:55,449 - I didn't tell you because— - You're a backstabber... 1457 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:55,488 and you lied to your best friend and you just don't care any more? 1458 00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:55,518 I didn't expect this from you, Evan. 1459 00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:55,533 Not from you. 1460 00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:55,597 Give me that booze, Fagell. 1461 00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:55,743 We never should have had to hide our arrangement. 1462 00:01:55,744 --> 00:01:55,772 - Seth's here. - Seth, you're here. 1463 00:01:55,773 --> 00:01:56,072 Hi. Everybody, Seth has got it. 1464 00:01:56,073 --> 00:01:56,098 - Evan. - Gaby, hey. 1465 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:56,120 Where have you been? You almost blew it. 1466 00:01:56,121 --> 00:01:56,151 - What are you talking about? - Becca. She's been waiting. 1467 00:01:56,152 --> 00:01:56,175 She's over there. 1468 00:01:56,176 --> 00:01:56,192 She's way smashed. 1469 00:01:56,193 --> 00:01:56,219 And she's been yammering about you all night. 1470 00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:56,242 Really? What was she saying? 1471 00:01:56,243 --> 00:01:56,267 She told you that she thinks I'm a good guy? 1472 00:01:56,268 --> 00:01:56,298 No, no. She said something more like: 1473 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:56,329 "I Will fully blow him tonight." 1474 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:56,393 - What? - I know. 1475 00:01:56,394 --> 00:01:56,420 - Yeah. - But she's totally hammered... 1476 00:01:56,421 --> 00:01:56,461 and if I get with her and I'm not drunk, isn't that unethical? 1477 00:01:56,462 --> 00:01:56,492 Not if you're drunk too. 1478 00:01:56,493 --> 00:01:56,510 I guess not. 1479 00:01:56,511 --> 00:01:56,526 To Seth. 1480 00:01:56,527 --> 00:01:56,553 - To Seth! - All right. 1481 00:01:56,554 --> 00:01:56,576 Who the fuck is Seth? 1482 00:01:56,577 --> 00:01:56,614 I'm Seth! 1483 00:01:56,615 --> 00:01:56,762 Let's do another one to me. 1484 00:01:56,763 --> 00:01:56,788 Oh, boy. 1485 00:01:56,789 --> 00:01:56,813 Calm down. Calm down, man. 1486 00:01:56,814 --> 00:01:56,839 Calm down. She likes you. 1487 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:56,867 She wants to suck on your penis. 1488 00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:56,888 It's a good thing. 1489 00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:56,937 It's the best thing. 1490 00:01:56,938 --> 00:01:57,265 Just down the hatch. 1491 00:01:57,266 --> 00:01:57,808 Fogell. What's up? 1492 00:01:57,809 --> 00:01:57,836 Evan, hey. Evie, come here. 1493 00:01:57,837 --> 00:01:57,853 Can you please help me up? 1494 00:01:57,854 --> 00:01:57,896 I fell down and none of these assholes will help me up. 1495 00:01:57,897 --> 00:01:57,926 - Shit. - Becca. 1496 00:01:57,927 --> 00:01:57,952 I have been waiting for you for, like, ever. 1497 00:01:57,953 --> 00:01:57,976 - What took you so long? - I know, it— 1498 00:01:57,977 --> 00:01:58,005 - Do you have my Goldslick? - No, I can't even— 1499 00:01:58,006 --> 00:01:58,026 It's such a crazy story, okay? 1500 00:01:58,027 --> 00:01:58,065 - I swear I was try— - It doesn't even matter. 1501 00:01:58,066 --> 00:01:58,095 Look. Look what we— We can just drink this. 1502 00:01:58,096 --> 00:01:58,122 - Here. You could have a drink. - Oh, no. 1503 00:01:58,123 --> 00:01:58,147 - I'm already pretty wasted. - Take a drink. 1504 00:01:58,148 --> 00:01:58,176 Okay, here's to you. This is to Becca. 1505 00:01:58,177 --> 00:01:58,190 To Becca. 1506 00:01:58,191 --> 00:01:58,218 - To the respecting— - Guys. 1507 00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:58,254 —Women. To people respecting women. 1508 00:01:58,255 --> 00:01:58,315 Okay. Yeah. 1509 00:01:58,316 --> 00:01:58,344 You're a lightweight. 1510 00:01:58,345 --> 00:01:58,371 H9)'- 1511 00:01:58,372 --> 00:01:58,409 You and me, we should go upstairs, because— 1512 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:58,461 Because I need to tell you something. Okay? 1513 00:01:58,462 --> 00:01:58,487 You could just tell me here, I mean... 1514 00:01:58,488 --> 00:01:58,543 I can't tell you, because it's a secret for you from me. 1515 00:01:58,544 --> 00:01:58,568 - All right. - So come. Come on. Okay. 1516 00:01:58,569 --> 00:01:58,583 'BYe, guys. - Bye. 1517 00:01:58,584 --> 00:01:58,668 - Bye-bye - Bye. 1518 00:01:58,669 --> 00:01:58,725 You changed your name to McLovin? 1519 00:01:58,726 --> 00:01:58,756 - That's so cool. - Thanks. 1520 00:01:58,757 --> 00:01:58,807 So, like, what's Hawaii like? 1521 00:01:58,808 --> 00:01:58,824 All right. I am back. 1522 00:01:58,825 --> 00:01:58,852 I had to thank the peeps for coming out, you know. 1523 00:01:58,853 --> 00:01:58,882 Jules. I want you to have a drink with me. 1524 00:01:58,883 --> 00:01:58,910 Just drink some of this. You're gonna love it. 1525 00:01:58,911 --> 00:01:58,932 You're to— I know you're gonna love it. 1526 00:01:58,933 --> 00:01:58,974 - You know, I— - it's green beer. For your information. 1527 00:01:58,975 --> 00:01:59,009 You know, I'm actually good right now. But thank you. 1528 00:01:59,010 --> 00:01:59,047 And thank you very much for bringing everything, again. 1529 00:01:59,048 --> 00:01:59,068 Seriously, it really made the night. 1530 00:01:59,069 --> 00:01:59,101 No, that's how I roll. That's the thing. 1531 00:01:59,102 --> 00:01:59,196 It's no problems. You'll learn that. 1532 00:01:59,197 --> 00:01:59,250 I love talking and conversing with you. 1533 00:01:59,251 --> 00:01:59,286 But I can't hear you, though, because the music is so loud. 1534 00:01:59,287 --> 00:01:59,353 So do you wanna go outside and talk more? 1535 00:01:59,354 --> 00:01:59,385 Yeah. Sorry, sure. You know, why not? 1536 00:01:59,386 --> 00:01:59,409 Let's do it. I haven't conversed in ages. 1537 00:01:59,410 --> 00:01:59,459 - Okay. Ladies— Ladies first. - Okay. 1538 00:01:59,460 --> 00:01:59,483 - Thank you very much. - No problem. 1539 00:01:59,484 --> 00:01:59,512 - Watch your step. I fell earlier today. - You serious? 1540 00:01:59,513 --> 00:01:59,542 Well, I was hit by a car. It's a long story. 1541 00:01:59,543 --> 00:01:59,595 - Oh, shit. Careful. - Okay, well... 1542 00:01:59,596 --> 00:01:59,638 So loud. Don't let the parents hear. 1543 00:01:59,639 --> 00:01:59,696 You look so pretty. 1544 00:01:59,697 --> 00:01:59,744 - Are you okay? - I so flirt with you in math. 1545 00:01:59,745 --> 00:01:59,770 Tell me about it. I— Samesies. 1546 00:01:59,771 --> 00:01:59,834 I've wanted to tell you for so long that you're the best girl. 1547 00:01:59,835 --> 00:01:59,906 I know. I've wanted to get with you, like, so hard. 1548 00:01:59,907 --> 00:01:59,998 Like so hard. 1549 00:01:59,999 --> 00:02:00,022 You're the best. 1550 00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:00,063 We'll take this sweater off. I think so. 1551 00:02:00,064 --> 00:02:00,102 Just be careful, because it's a meaningful sweater to me. It's vintage. 1552 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:00,121 Okay. 1553 00:02:00,122 --> 00:02:00,159 - Bought it at that vintage market. - Just hurry. 1554 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:00,189 - And this one. - It's off. 1555 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:00,226 Hey, wait, careful. 1556 00:02:00,227 --> 00:02:00,245 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my. 1557 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:00,260 Put that there. 1558 00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:00,282 - Now, looky, looky... - Okay. 1559 00:02:00,283 --> 00:02:00,312 - ... What I got for you under here. - Oh, my gosh. 1560 00:02:00,313 --> 00:02:00,335 You are the prettiest girl... 1561 00:02:00,336 --> 00:02:00,369 this side of the Mississippi. - I have a little something... 1562 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:00,403 for you under here. 1563 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:00,420 You look so pretty. 1564 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:00,448 - Look so pretty. - Under there. 1565 00:02:00,449 --> 00:02:00,482 Hello. 1566 00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:00,556 For you 1567 00:02:00,557 --> 00:02:00,608 You're the best. You're so unique. 1568 00:02:00,609 --> 00:02:00,626 Come here. 1569 00:02:00,627 --> 00:02:00,656 Evan, kiss me. 1570 00:02:00,657 --> 00:02:00,688 I like you so much. 1571 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:00,710 Come on, McLovin. 1572 00:02:00,711 --> 00:02:00,733 I've never been with an older guy before. 1573 00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:00,773 Well, it's way better. 1574 00:02:00,774 --> 00:02:00,799 I know, we made some kick-ass tiramisu earlier. 1575 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:00,888 It was deli— It looked weird. But it was delicious. 1576 00:02:00,889 --> 00:02:00,931 What—? What's wrong? 1577 00:02:00,932 --> 00:02:00,973 L— I would prefer if we would just do that... 1578 00:02:00,974 --> 00:02:01,015 at some other time. 1579 00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:01,051 No. There is no other time. School is up. 1580 00:02:01,052 --> 00:02:01,107 - What's wrong with right now? - Well, I mean, you're— You're drunk. 1581 00:02:01,108 --> 00:02:01,152 - You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. 1582 00:02:01,153 --> 00:02:01,187 Yeah, I'm actually— I'm not drunk at all. 1583 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:01,230 I don't even drink, so it's... I mean... 1584 00:02:01,231 --> 00:02:01,266 Jules, you drink. You drink. 1585 00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:01,299 Everybody— You— You had me get liquor, so you drink. 1586 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:01,313 It's like... 1587 00:02:01,314 --> 00:02:01,353 Well, yeah, because I'm throwing a party, remember? 1588 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:01,373 Other people drink and so I just... 1589 00:02:01,374 --> 00:02:01,405 You...? 1590 00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:01,462 You don't wanna, you know? 1591 00:02:01,463 --> 00:02:01,496 Not right now. 1592 00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:01,538 You know, not while you're drunk. 1593 00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:01,619 But, you know, thank you. 1594 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:01,672 - Evan. Evan, I'm so wet. - Oh, yeah. 1595 00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:01,711 They said that would happen in health, when I learned about it. 1596 00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:01,733 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1597 00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:01,770 - They taught me about— - Who's down there? 1598 00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:01,839 Yeah, it's your hand. 1599 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:01,878 - Thank you, that's good. - You have such a smooth cock. 1600 00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:01,903 Thank you. You would too if you were a man. 1601 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:01,933 But you got such a smooth chest. 1602 00:02:01,934 --> 00:02:01,965 I am gonna give you... 1603 00:02:01,966 --> 00:02:02,017 the best blow-J ever... 1604 00:02:02,018 --> 00:02:02,046 with my mouth. 1605 00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:02,072 Why don't we—? Why don't we just kiss a while? 1606 00:02:02,073 --> 00:02:02,134 Why don't we keep kissing for a bit, instead of...? 1607 00:02:02,135 --> 00:02:02,156 How badly do you wanna fuck me? 1608 00:02:02,157 --> 00:02:02,183 Jesus Christ. 1609 00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:02,196 Jesus, fuck. 1610 00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:02,212 - Hang on one second. - What? 1611 00:02:02,213 --> 00:02:02,234 Becca, I don't think you wanna do this. 1612 00:02:02,235 --> 00:02:02,280 - You're really drunk. - No, I'm not. I am not drunk. 1613 00:02:02,281 --> 00:02:02,328 - I see that you are. I think you are. - And I really— I want you inside me. 1614 00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:02,355 I want you to be my first. I want you inside me. 1615 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:02,382 So just— Just go with it. 1616 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:02,409 - Let it happen. - I know, but... 1617 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:02,433 Becca, this is kind of intense. 1618 00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:02,484 And I just— I'm so drunk. I can't even, like, process this. 1619 00:02:02,485 --> 00:02:02,512 And you're really pretty. 1620 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:02,537 And I just think this isn't how I pictured it. 1621 00:02:02,538 --> 00:02:02,600 I don't understand why you have to be such a little bitch about it. 1622 00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:02,637 - Did you just call me a bitch? - Yes, a scared— 1623 00:02:02,638 --> 00:02:02,668 See, I, like, I think we're not thinking clear— 1624 00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:02,684 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 1625 00:02:02,685 --> 00:02:02,713 - Go get Gaby. - I'll go get her. 1626 00:02:02,714 --> 00:02:02,923 Oh, God. Oh, God. Go get Gaby, please. 1627 00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:02,978 - I got a boner. - Good. 1628 00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:03,029 - Do you have a condom? - Yes. 1629 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:03,053 And lube. 1630 00:02:03,054 --> 00:02:03,114 Seth? 1631 00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:03,145 Are—? Are you crying? 1632 00:02:03,146 --> 00:02:03,179 No, I just have something in both my eyes. 1633 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:03,194 I don't cry. That's funny. 1634 00:02:03,195 --> 00:02:03,220 You look— You look— It looks like you're crying. 1635 00:02:03,221 --> 00:02:03,261 80... 1636 00:02:03,262 --> 00:02:03,289 it was my last chance and I fucked it up and— 1637 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:03,309 Your last chance to do what? 1638 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:03,350 To make you my girlfriend for the summer. 1639 00:02:03,351 --> 00:02:03,383 You're, like, the coolest person that's ever talked to me. 1640 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:03,403 I thought we'd both be drunk. 1641 00:02:03,404 --> 00:02:03,436 What does me being drunk have anything to do with it? 1642 00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:03,464 You'd never get with me if you were sober. 1643 00:02:03,465 --> 00:02:03,492 Look at you. 1644 00:02:03,493 --> 00:02:03,545 - Look at me. - Seth, come on, you didn't blow it. 1645 00:02:03,546 --> 00:02:03,570 I think maybe— 1646 00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:03,592 What the fuck? 1647 00:02:03,593 --> 00:02:03,635 Help me. 1648 00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:03,648 Shirley. 1649 00:02:03,649 --> 00:02:03,675 I'm sorry. 1650 00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:03,706 - Someone forgot to call pest control. - Yep. 1651 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:03,728 Where you going? Hey, party's still on. 1652 00:02:03,729 --> 00:02:03,744 - Where are you going? - No. 1653 00:02:03,745 --> 00:02:03,782 If you're back there, get out. Everyone, come on. 1654 00:02:03,783 --> 00:02:03,804 - We will shoot you. - Party's over. 1655 00:02:03,805 --> 00:02:03,822 - Evan. - Get the hell out of here. 1656 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:03,905 Keep your hands up. 1657 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:04,039 Life's bullshit, Miroki. 1658 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,063 Ev, wake the fuck up, man. 1659 00:02:04,064 --> 00:02:04,126 We gotta go. Those fucking cops are here, man. 1660 00:02:04,127 --> 00:02:04,154 "Oh, no, it's the cops." We have a complaint. 1661 00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:04,184 - Evan, come on. - Get the hell out of here right now. 1662 00:02:04,185 --> 00:02:04,204 Get out of here. She's not interested. 1663 00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:04,237 - Drop the crantini and move it, sister. - See you, sugar tits. 1664 00:02:04,238 --> 00:02:04,250 Guys, come on, move. 1665 00:02:04,251 --> 00:02:04,297 Everybody out. Leave the booze and go. 1666 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:04,320 What the fuck, man? 1667 00:02:04,321 --> 00:02:04,336 What the fuck, Seth? 1668 00:02:04,337 --> 00:02:04,367 He's my best friend. Oh, shit. 1669 00:02:04,368 --> 00:02:04,397 Oh, shit. Come on. 1670 00:02:04,398 --> 00:02:04,456 I assume you all have guns and crack. 1671 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:04,526 Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop. 1672 00:02:04,527 --> 00:02:04,543 Okay, everyone... 1673 00:02:04,544 --> 00:02:04,577 prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law. 1674 00:02:04,578 --> 00:02:04,617 Get out. 1675 00:02:04,618 --> 00:02:04,675 Come on, go. 1676 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:04,721 Fuck off, Seth. 1677 00:02:04,722 --> 00:02:04,737 Get a room. 1678 00:02:04,738 --> 00:02:04,782 I'm gonna save you. I'm gonna save you, Evan. 1679 00:02:04,783 --> 00:02:04,819 Fuck. 1680 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:05,025 Fuck. Fuck, man, so heavy. 1681 00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:05,053 It's in. Oh, my God, it's in. 1682 00:02:05,054 --> 00:02:05,082 All right, everybody out. Come on, let's go. 1683 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:05,111 McLovin! What the fuck? 1684 00:02:05,112 --> 00:02:05,139 - Officer Slater, is that you? - You ran away from us. 1685 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:05,163 Why did you run away? Michaels, get up here. 1686 00:02:05,164 --> 00:02:05,187 - No. I didn't run away. - What the fuck? 1687 00:02:05,188 --> 00:02:05,200 Why would you do that? 1688 00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:05,230 - I was disoriented from— - Were you violating that girl? 1689 00:02:05,231 --> 00:02:05,259 You just violated her with your penis? Michaels, look. 1690 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:05,281 - McLovin? - No, no, no. 1691 00:02:05,282 --> 00:02:05,304 No. 1692 00:02:05,305 --> 00:02:05,327 Holy shit. Were you just getting laid? 1693 00:02:05,328 --> 00:02:05,359 No. Yeah, I was, but— 1694 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:05,386 - Yes, yes, he was. - It's not what you think, guys. 1695 00:02:05,387 --> 00:02:05,413 - I'm not even— - Sit the fuck down. Stay down. 1696 00:02:05,414 --> 00:02:05,435 - Calm down. - I thought we were friends... 1697 00:02:05,436 --> 00:02:05,454 and then you go running away. 1698 00:02:05,455 --> 00:02:05,474 Contain yourself. 1699 00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:05,493 - We're friends. - Shut up. 1700 00:02:05,494 --> 00:02:05,520 - Calm down. Calm down, man. - Why? What? 1701 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:05,541 You just cock-blocked McLovin. Okay? 1702 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:05,559 He's our friend. We don't do that. 1703 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:05,599 We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it. 1704 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:05,726 Just relax, okay? Let's make this right. 1705 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:05,753 Wait, what are you—? What are you guys doing? 1706 00:02:05,754 --> 00:02:05,791 No, please, I can't— I can't go to jail. Please, I can't go to jail. 1707 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:05,836 No, look. We're really sorry, McLovin. 1708 00:02:05,837 --> 00:02:05,874 This has— This has gone on— This has gone way too far. 1709 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:05,911 What? What are you talking about? 1710 00:02:05,912 --> 00:02:05,957 We know you're not 25, man. We're not idiots, McLovin. 1711 00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:05,987 - Yeah. - Did you know the whole time? 1712 00:02:05,988 --> 00:02:06,047 Look, when we were your age, we hated cops. 1713 00:02:06,048 --> 00:02:06,084 When we saw you in the liquor store today, we just... 1714 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:06,109 I guess we saw a bit of ourselves, you know... 1715 00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:06,146 and we just wanted to show you that... 1716 00:02:06,147 --> 00:02:06,175 you know, cops can have a fun time too, you know? 1717 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:06,201 Yeah. 1718 00:02:06,202 --> 00:02:06,271 You know, in a way, I think we wanted to show ourselves. 1719 00:02:06,272 --> 00:02:06,299 Also, I'm... 1720 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:06,341 I'm really sorry that I blocked your cock. 1721 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:06,387 - Apology accepted. - Seriously, man. 1722 00:02:06,388 --> 00:02:06,407 That feels good. 1723 00:02:06,408 --> 00:02:06,430 - It feels so good. - I missed you guys. 1724 00:02:06,431 --> 00:02:06,458 I just wish we could make it up to you somehow, man. 1725 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:06,490 Well, do you think you can do me a really big favor? 1726 00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:06,515 - What is it? Anything. - Name it. 1727 00:02:06,516 --> 00:02:06,551 - This kid's fucking crazy. - Stay back for your own safety. 1728 00:02:06,552 --> 00:02:06,579 Get off me, you fucking cops. Get your hands off. 1729 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:06,617 Do you know who I am? I'm Fogell. 1730 00:02:06,618 --> 00:02:06,657 - The joint can't hold me. - Holy shit, Fogell's a badass. 1731 00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:06,690 I'm gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop. You can't hold me. 1732 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:06,760 Fucking pigs. 1733 00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:06,802 Oh, shit. 1734 00:02:06,803 --> 00:02:06,827 Nice mullet, asshole. 1735 00:02:06,828 --> 00:02:06,849 - You crazy. - This kid's crazy. 1736 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:06,886 He's nuts. Well, we caught the infamous Fogell. 1737 00:02:06,887 --> 00:02:06,906 Get your hands— Wait for me, Nicola. 1738 00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:06,933 Wait for me on the outside. 1739 00:02:06,934 --> 00:02:06,969 We were gonna go to Hawaii. 1740 00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:06,989 Man, that's gonna get you so much ass. 1741 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:07,003 Seriously? 1742 00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:07,045 - I know what to do about the car. - Sweet. 1743 00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:07,128 Fucking go. Fucking throw up. 1744 00:02:07,129 --> 00:02:07,146 Are you carrying me? 1745 00:02:07,147 --> 00:02:07,173 No, I'm saving you from the cops. 1746 00:02:07,174 --> 00:02:07,205 You saved me? 1747 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:07,240 Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but thanks. 1748 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:07,266 Can I— Should I just walk? 1749 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:07,314 - Should I walk? - Yeah, sure. 1750 00:02:07,315 --> 00:02:07,368 - Okay. - Where do you wanna go? 1751 00:02:07,369 --> 00:02:07,421 Sleepover at my house? You wanna come sleep...? 1752 00:02:07,422 --> 00:02:07,489 _Qkay- _Qkay- 1753 00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:07,509 Does your mom still have pizza bagels? 1754 00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:07,530 Yeah. Lots. 1755 00:02:07,531 --> 00:02:07,643 Pizza bagels. 1756 00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:07,674 So by signing this, you are officially saying... 1757 00:02:07,675 --> 00:02:07,704 that as we stopped you from being mugged... 1758 00:02:07,705 --> 00:02:07,738 a crackhead stole our cruiser and did God knows what with it. 1759 00:02:07,739 --> 00:02:07,769 - You cool to sign that? - Of course. I owe you guys my life. 1760 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:07,800 We owe you, Mc— Wait, what's your real name again? 1761 00:02:07,801 --> 00:02:07,814 - Fogew - Fuckthat 1762 00:02:07,815 --> 00:02:07,845 - We're calling you McLovin. - McLovin. 1763 00:02:07,846 --> 00:02:08,134 Let's do this dance, boys. 1764 00:02:08,135 --> 00:02:08,165 - Oh, my God. - What did I tell you guys, right? 1765 00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:08,243 That was crazy. 1766 00:02:08,244 --> 00:02:08,258 All right. 1767 00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:08,282 All right, now, guys, check this out. 1768 00:02:08,283 --> 00:02:08,320 It's probably the greatest move in doughnut-spinning history. 1769 00:02:08,321 --> 00:02:08,333 You paying attention? 1770 00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:08,372 Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail. 1771 00:02:08,373 --> 00:02:08,455 - Why is it called that? - I don't know. 1772 00:02:08,456 --> 00:02:08,500 Make the badge proud, Slater. 1773 00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:08,527 He's not usually this drunk when he does this... 1774 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:08,618 but I think that could make it more cool. 1775 00:02:08,619 --> 00:02:08,754 McLovin! 1776 00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:08,775 Oh, no. 1777 00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:08,861 Fuck. 1778 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:08,918 - Slater! - Officer Slater. 1779 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:08,959 All right. Fucking crazy. 1780 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:08,980 Let's do this. 1781 00:02:08,981 --> 00:02:09,029 - Hurry, hurry. Let's go. Go, go. - I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. 1782 00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:09,055 - I'm out, I'm out. - Good, here we go, here we go. 1783 00:02:09,056 --> 00:02:09,081 Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up. 1784 00:02:09,082 --> 00:02:09,167 Don't blow yourself up, asshole. 1785 00:02:09,168 --> 00:02:09,208 Yes. Oh, my God. 1786 00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:09,237 It worked. It worked. 1787 00:02:09,238 --> 00:02:09,377 We won. We won. 1788 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:09,411 Can we shoot at it? 1789 00:02:09,412 --> 00:02:09,652 I don't know. Can you? 1790 00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:09,744 Break yourself, fool. 1791 00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:09,763 Tight. 1792 00:02:09,764 --> 00:02:09,795 Listen, and then she said she was gonna give me a blow-J. 1793 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:09,838 - I can't believe she said that to you. - Man, you have no idea. 1794 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:09,957 - What was she thinking? - You don't even know. 1795 00:02:09,958 --> 00:02:10,004 I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you something, Evan. 1796 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:10,021 What? 1797 00:02:10,022 --> 00:02:10,043 I was in your room, like, three weeks ago... 1798 00:02:10,044 --> 00:02:10,071 while you were taking a shit. 1799 00:02:10,072 --> 00:02:10,132 And I saw your housing, like, forms. 1800 00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:10,181 So I knew you and Fogell were gonna live together, you know. 1801 00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:10,232 I'm sorry, man, I don't know. 1802 00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:10,280 I should've told you. I don't know why I didn't. 1803 00:02:10,281 --> 00:02:10,312 Don't— No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry. 1804 00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:10,345 I was being a dick. I was being a big dick to you. 1805 00:02:10,346 --> 00:02:10,361 No, I— 1806 00:02:10,362 --> 00:02:10,412 Listen, Seth, I want you to know, I don't wanna live with Fogell. 1807 00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:10,470 I never wanted to live with him. I just don't— I ha— 1808 00:02:10,471 --> 00:02:10,514 I'm afraid to live with strangers. 1809 00:02:10,515 --> 00:02:10,539 I can't. 1810 00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:10,577 I can't do it. 1811 00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:10,622 I know, I know. 1812 00:02:10,623 --> 00:02:10,672 I can't believe you saved me. 1813 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:10,698 You saved me. 1814 00:02:10,699 --> 00:02:10,740 I can't believe. I owe you so— 1815 00:02:10,741 --> 00:02:10,793 You carried me. I love you. 1816 00:02:10,794 --> 00:02:10,842 I love you, man. 1817 00:02:10,843 --> 00:02:10,880 I love you. 1818 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:10,934 I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I just— 1819 00:02:10,935 --> 00:02:10,958 I lo— I love you. 1820 00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:10,979 - I'm not embarrassed. - I love you. 1821 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:10,998 I love you. 1822 00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:11,031 Why don't we say that every day? Why can't we say it more often? 1823 00:02:11,032 --> 00:02:11,057 I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream: 1824 00:02:11,058 --> 00:02:11,074 "I love my best friend, Evan." 1825 00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:11,117 - We should go up on my roof. - For sure. 1826 00:02:11,118 --> 00:02:11,183 Like, when you went away for Easter, on your vacation, I missed you. 1827 00:02:11,184 --> 00:02:11,227 - I missed you too. - I want the world to know. 1828 00:02:11,228 --> 00:02:11,319 It's— It's the most beautiful thing in the world. 1829 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:11,477 Come here. Come here, man. 1830 00:02:11,478 --> 00:02:11,650 - I love you. - I love you. 1831 00:02:11,651 --> 00:02:11,754 What the fuck? 1832 00:02:11,755 --> 00:02:11,816 - What up? - Morning. Morning. 1833 00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:11,845 I should get moving. I should get moving. 1834 00:02:11,846 --> 00:02:11,872 I should be getting a move on, for sure. 1835 00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:11,907 Yeah, you don't— I mean, you don't have to, you know. 1836 00:02:11,908 --> 00:02:11,943 I don't really have anything going on. 1837 00:02:11,944 --> 00:02:12,011 You don't have to rush off like that. 1838 00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:12,038 You wanna hang out? 1839 00:02:12,039 --> 00:02:12,068 I was gonna go to the mall. 1840 00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:12,113 I have to get a new comforter. 1841 00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:12,143 For college. The mall, they would sell that. 1842 00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:12,175 Cool. So... 1843 00:02:12,176 --> 00:02:12,230 your mom's got huge tits. 1844 00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:12,246 What do you think? 1845 00:02:12,247 --> 00:02:12,264 I don't know, man. Don't ask me. 1846 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:12,297 Because I don't give a shit how pants look. 1847 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:12,325 Yeah, I need someone's opinion. 1848 00:02:12,326 --> 00:02:12,364 Those are too tight. Those are way too tight. 1849 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:12,394 - Yeah, but, like— - Way too tight. You need to upgrade. 1850 00:02:12,395 --> 00:02:12,425 There's not enough pants where there should be. More pants. 1851 00:02:12,426 --> 00:02:12,453 Yeah, but— I mean, does it look weird? 1852 00:02:12,454 --> 00:02:12,493 Looks like you're standing funny. You wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck. 1853 00:02:12,494 --> 00:02:12,515 Yeah, but I'm doing like— 1854 00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:12,553 - I'm doing the college poses like— - I don't know if you are. 1855 00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:12,576 - You might just be doing— - Hey, prof. 1856 00:02:12,577 --> 00:02:12,607 - Okay. - That test was... 1857 00:02:12,608 --> 00:02:12,652 Hey, Susan. Are you gonna party tonight or no? 1858 00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:12,694 Yeah, but that's just— It's like I wish there were more pants where— 1859 00:02:12,695 --> 00:02:12,710 You know, where there aren't. 1860 00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:12,733 But when I was wearing your dad's pants... 1861 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:12,766 I realized that if I wear pants that are a little too small... 1862 00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:12,788 it might encourage me to lose weight. 1863 00:02:12,789 --> 00:02:12,811 And also, chicks can kind of see, like... 1864 00:02:12,812 --> 00:02:12,843 you know, the borders and outline of my dick a little. 1865 00:02:12,844 --> 00:02:12,878 Yeah, man, they go nuts for that. The male camel toe. 1866 00:02:12,879 --> 00:02:12,913 Yeah, the camel tail. It's right— 1867 00:02:12,914 --> 00:02:12,934 I know where it is, where it happens. 1868 00:02:12,935 --> 00:02:12,955 Like, right there. 1869 00:02:12,956 --> 00:02:12,997 It's like they're so tight that one ball is, like, above my dick, even. 1870 00:02:12,998 --> 00:02:13,018 - Yeah, exactly. - It's like three. 1871 00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:13,049 It's like a three thing. It's like ball, dick, ball. 1872 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:13,067 It's like a division sign. 1873 00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:13,097 Like a bunch of people crammed into a van. 1874 00:02:13,098 --> 00:02:13,142 - Making my ass look weird? - It makes a lot of stuff look weird. 1875 00:02:13,143 --> 00:02:13,167 No, those are way too tight. 1876 00:02:13,168 --> 00:02:13,200 You're right, these look stupid. Let's get the fuck out of here. 1877 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:13,239 I'm really sorry about that. I can't believe I actually did that. 1878 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:13,264 I feel bad that I'm making you buy me a new one. 1879 00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:13,280 It's seems, like, ridiculous. 1880 00:02:13,281 --> 00:02:13,328 - No. I have to, it's puke. It's gross. - Oh, my God. 1881 00:02:13,329 --> 00:02:13,358 Do alcoholics get hangovers? 1882 00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:13,399 Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. It's them. 1883 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:13,463 - What the fuck do we do, man? - Don't stop. I don't know. 1884 00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:13,500 - Hey! - Hey! 1885 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:13,538 How's it going? 1886 00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:13,576 It's so good to— How are you feeling? 1887 00:02:13,577 --> 00:02:13,627 I've felt better. But I'll be fine. How about you? 1888 00:02:13,628 --> 00:02:13,701 I'm okay, you know, yeah. Did you have fun last night? 1889 00:02:13,702 --> 00:02:13,743 You know, I actually don't remember much. 1890 00:02:13,744 --> 00:02:13,770 I don't remember anything. 1891 00:02:13,771 --> 00:02:13,808 - So weird. - Nothing. 1892 00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:13,843 I didn't puke on you, did I? 1893 00:02:13,844 --> 00:02:13,869 You didn't. I remember that you— I avoided it. 1894 00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:13,922 It whizzed right by me, and I said, "Stay away from me," you know. 1895 00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:14,007 I'm really sorry about everything last night, and I just... 1896 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:14,044 Thank you for being such a nice guy about it all. 1897 00:02:14,045 --> 00:02:14,064 That's okay, you know. 1898 00:02:14,065 --> 00:02:14,131 At least you don't have a black eye from it. 1899 00:02:14,132 --> 00:02:14,176 - That looks terrible. - Yeah. 1900 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:14,226 You look great. You don't look terrible It's just, like, a bad bruise. 1901 00:02:14,227 --> 00:02:14,259 Everything's great, just from he— This, just like right there. 1902 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:14,279 - Your eye. - Yeah, your eye. 1903 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:14,299 Everything else is great. 1904 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:14,374 But seriously, I acted like a fucking idiot last night. 1905 00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:14,429 You don't deserve that. So I'm sorry. 1906 00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:14,474 On the upside, I think you look cool with a black eye. 1907 00:02:14,475 --> 00:02:14,514 I'm just gonna throw that out there. I don't— I don't know. 1908 00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:14,560 Well, thank you, smart guy. Thanks. That's actually why I'm here. 1909 00:02:14,561 --> 00:02:14,599 Because I have to get a ton of cover-up for the grad photo. 1910 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:14,629 Oh, man. Fuck. 1911 00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:14,657 And I'm gonna get Jules a new comforter. 1912 00:02:14,658 --> 00:02:14,681 I have to get a comforter too. For college. 1913 00:02:14,682 --> 00:02:14,711 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, I just figured I would need one. 1914 00:02:14,712 --> 00:02:14,748 So, Seth... 1915 00:02:14,749 --> 00:02:14,794 So do you wanna come buy me cover-up or something? 1916 00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:14,832 I mean, you kind of owe me. 1917 00:02:14,833 --> 00:02:14,875 Yeah, definitely. I would love to do that. 1918 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:14,898 I had such bad acne last year... 1919 00:02:14,899 --> 00:02:14,942 that I pretty much became, like, an expert on the stuff. 1920 00:02:14,943 --> 00:02:14,973 Well, you drove. Evan drove me here, though, so... 1921 00:02:14,974 --> 00:02:14,998 Well, so— Well, I mean, I have my dad's car. 1922 00:02:14,999 --> 00:02:15,032 So I could just give you a lift... 1923 00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:15,056 and then Evan could take Becca home. 1924 00:02:15,057 --> 00:02:15,085 If that works. I don't know if it's in your route. 1925 00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:15,101 It'd be fine with me. 1926 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:15,145 Fine, yeah. Maybe we can get some food. 1927 00:02:15,146 --> 00:02:15,192 Yeah, I'd like that. 1928 00:02:15,193 --> 00:02:15,212 So I guess I'll call you, then. 1929 00:02:15,213 --> 00:02:15,237 Yeah, give me a call. Yeah, you have my number. 1930 00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:15,273 I have your information. So put her there. 1931 00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:15,308 Perfect. Good. All right, man. 1932 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:15,326 - Okay. - Okay, 9W5- 1933 00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:15,345 - Becca. - Bye, guys. 1934 00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:15,365 - Bye, have fun. - See you, Jules. 1935 00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:15,402 Yeah, that's funny. Too funny. 1936 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:15,418 Where do you wanna go to eat? 1937 00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:15,445 I'm gonna fuck her. 1938 00:02:15,446 --> 00:02:18,897 So can you honestly help me figure out what kind of cover-up to get? 1939 00:02:18,898 --> 00:02:23,898 I love you.