1
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:38,552
that happily-ever-afters
exist only in the pages

2
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,226
and in the naive minds

3
00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:46,417
And yet, on this bright,

4
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:50,549
a talking teddy bear
is about to marry

5
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:55,799
Happy endings can

6
00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:59,412
And America doesn't give

7
00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:01,936
Do you,

8
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:06,238
take this teddy bear
to be your lawfully

9
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:13,089
take th is woman
to be your lawfully

10
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,000
Then, by the power

11
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,960
I now pronounce you

12
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,994
Ladies and gentlemen,

13
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,720
Teddy, this is

14
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:06,179
I'm gonna go
fifty shades of bear

15
00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:18,711
Hey, congrats,

16
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,721
Oh. Thank you so much

17
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,533
Hey, this is
my new boyfriend,

18
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:31,944
H e's a gou rmet chef.
So he knows how

19
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,896
Rick and I are
actually about

20
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,962
Oh, you guys

21
00:02:41,037 --> 00:02:42,957
No, we're just gonna
go home and tie

22
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,479
Ha! Fuck you.

23
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,583
Hey, buddy.

24
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:59,815
Are you still shaking off
that hangover from

25
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,693
Oh!

26
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,729
Oh, my God.
She's fucking

27
00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,773
She's totally
begging. Get it.

28
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,894
Look at her.

29
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,185
Oh, yeah.

30
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,513
than just a fucking
pizza delivery, huh?

31
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,568
That's bigger
than the average bear

32
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,458
You know what's
fucked up? Dude, that's

33
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,013
Oh, shit!

34
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:25,285
I'm fine.
I was thinking

35
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,073
Oh, Johnny,

36
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,646
It's been six months
since you guys

37
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,592
I know, I know.

38
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,920
Being back in

39
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,791
I mean, everything
seemed like it was

40
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,527
Yeah. Well, you're

41
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,648
Hey, hey!

42
00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:47,773
You guys wanna
celebrate with a little

43
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,217
Oh. Uh, no, thanks, Sam.

44
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,873
if I did drugs

45
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,971
I just did a line
with a dude

46
00:03:56,029 --> 00:03:58,469
and I bet you

47
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,217
I'm steppin ' out

48
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,328
Yeah, steppin' out

49
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,751
Can't go wrong

50
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,739
This is the best

51
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,325
I'm starving.
What the hell are

52
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,903
I'm cooking
your fucking steak.

53
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,197
What do I think

54
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,085
I think you're bleeding
us dry, is what I think

55
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,840
Look at this, look at this.

56
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,919
What are you buying
over there, Tami?

57
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,599
I need clothes for work.

58
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,188
What do you mean?
You wear a smock,

59
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:45,140
Yeah, exactly!
And I'm not going out

60
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,336
Oh, no, no,

61
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,587
You're just buying weed,

62
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,840
I was talking. I was
just talking, just now,

63
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,130
Well, I have to

64
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,183
I never get to

65
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:56,268
Are you gonna let

66
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:57,352
You're always

67
00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:58,556
Are you gonna let

68
00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,766
Are you gonna let

69
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,255
It's important to

70
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,435
I am trying to climb

71
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,884
Nobody's in there

72
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,795
Oh, what am l

73
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,303
You're acting like

74
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,965
Like an asshole!
That's what

75
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,873
You don't got to dress like
Elizabeth Taylor to put

76
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,275
I am the face

77
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,092
The face
of the business?

78
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,565
Jesus Christ!
Listen to you!

79
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,986
I should've married
Robert DiCicco.

80
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,485
Fine! Fine!

81
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,827
He treated

82
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:29,641
And he had a dick!

83
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,919
Oh, newsflash!
Boston whore has

84
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:35,142
What the fuck did you

85
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,624
What did you

86
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,004
Jesus!

87
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,060
You wanna call me

88
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,637
Yeah, I wanna

89
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,730
I'll fucking
throw shit!

90
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,054
Oh. Wow.
There, see!

91
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,770
I'm really
fucking scared of you,

92
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,102
Why don't you come down

93
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,282
Yeah, why don't you

94
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,691
and make me come

95
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,948
I am gonna come up there
and I'm gonna kick

96
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,400
Yeah, why don't you

97
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,260
Get your ass up here

98
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:06,871
Shut the fuck up,

99
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:07,882
Hey, shut up,

100
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,925
Run the fuck back

101
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,372
Get the fuck

102
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,707
People are

103
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,403
Hey, I'm really sorry!

104
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,293
Yeah, she's

105
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,860
Have you guys
at least tried

106
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,312
Oh, God, yeah.

107
00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:34,885
_250 and we didn't

108
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,790
$250? Dude,

109
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,469
I mean, doesn't your
insurance cover

110
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,379
Nah, Tami-Lynn tried
to sign up for

111
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:42,737
but I came back

112
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,152
she was looking

113
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,811
It seems like every

114
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,398
you're two clicks away

115
00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:51,478
See, I'll google

116
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,195
Here. Look, it says,

117
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:56,289
I don't know, man.

118
00:09:56,347 --> 00:09:57,947
ormymarriageis

119
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,627
Here you go,

120
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,323
We're gonna be

121
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:02,957
but I'm going to

122
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,740
at my friend's apartment,

123
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,017
Oh, thanks, Allison.
But I got an

124
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:13,446
Well, if you
change your mind,

125
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,053
I put my cell number

126
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:22,272
Oh, my God!

127
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:24,657
What do you mean, "What?"

128
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,548
Jesus, Johnny,
she totally wants

129
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,261
John, you've been
saying that for over

130
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,219
about every chick that

131
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,659
You got to get back

132
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,997
No, don't start

133
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,572
Look, I wasted

134
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,077
with the wrong girl

135
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,899
I'm not gonna
make that same

136
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,942
Jesus, Johnny,
you don't got

137
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,217
You just got to
bang her and maybe

138
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,606
It's always good to find new

139
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,331
Yeah, I got

140
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,850
(SIG HS) It's okay.
I just wish he wasn't

141
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,712
Yeah. Hey, can I get

142
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,465
with just a splash

143
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,547
Wish I could help you,

144
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,862
Come on, one drink
and I promise

145
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,396
that Jay Leno comes in here

146
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,982
Hey, what the
fuck are you doing?

147
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,765
There we go.

148
00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:36,193
I'd, uh, like to ask
a few questions about

149
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,770
Uh, yeah, yeah.

150
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:44,237
I've been led to
understand that Trix are

151
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:49,683
l... I mean, they say,
uh, "Trix are for kids"

152
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,745
And is that

153
00:11:56,925 --> 00:12:00,766
So if I purchase these Trix,

154
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,258
No. No, you.. .

155
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,654
You do u nderstand
that I myself

156
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,296
Uh, I was able to

157
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,466
Okay, I'm going
to bring these back

158
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,937
Uh, yeah, yeah.

159
00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:18,957
And, uh,

160
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,521
Uh, no, that's.. .

161
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:29,851
I won't forget
what you've done

162
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,976
J
Honest to God
Joy, I don't know

163
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,067
J
I mean
how the hell

164
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,831
a broken marriage

165
00:12:57,987 --> 00:13:01,307
Well, I'll tell you one way.

166
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:06,095
You see them two

167
00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,929
Look at them.

168
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,722
Because they got
that little baby

169
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,623
they'd just be two

170
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,312
waiting for

171
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:21,109
Why, you said it twice.

172
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,464
y'al I better have a baby
or your marriage is over.

173
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,686
Tami, listen, I just

174
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,299
Will you just listen

175
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,125
Why? So you can
give me shit

176
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:48,200
No! Look,
I'm sorry about that,

177
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,127
I was an asshole

178
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,387
Tami, listen.

179
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,322
Okay? And.. .

180
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,498
to fight like
we've been doing

181
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,389
I don't know, Teddy.
Something's got to change,

182
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:05,027
Because I can't
do this no more.

183
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,817
I know, I know, I know.

184
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,889
See, I think,

185
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,184
it'll teach us how to

186
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,304
You better not be

187
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,848
J
I swear to God

188
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,511
I think you'd make

189
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,099
Oh, my God!

190
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,204
I would, like, kick
so much ass at mommin'!

191
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,656
So what do you say?

192
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:40,427
Oh, baby,
I love you, too!

193
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,936
Let's make a baby!

194
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,446
Okay, you ready?
Oh, shit.

195
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,081
Here it comes.
Okay, okay.

196
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:59,468
Let's all go to cout

197
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,633
We're a bunch of

198
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,745
a whole hallway

199
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:22,460
You don't know me and

200
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:29,711
That felt smooth.
That felt really smooth.

201
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,468
Hey, so, uh, listen,

202
00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:35,239
I got some big news

203
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:40,172
Tami-Lynn and I are

204
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,502
Yeah, yeah,

205
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,211
Dude, that's fucking awesome!

206
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,205
Wait, wait, wait.
How... How.. .

207
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:54,004
Well, yeah, that's the
thing. We... We, uh.. .

208
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,167
And, um, I'm wondering,

209
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,089
Sam Jones would say

210
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,574
You want Flash Gordon

211
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,948
Yeah, I mean,

212
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,685
Wou Id that be wei rd?
Would he be

213
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:05,957
No, I think

214
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,728
And plus, your baby

215
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,802
Well, that was the logic

216
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,861
All right. I'll shoot

217
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,332
and see if I can

218
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:16,716
You come with me?

219
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,276
I can never get a signal
in your apartment. Hey,

220
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,283
Yeah, go ahead.

221
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,604
Holy shit!
Dude, what's the matter?

222
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,673
Well, what the hell
are you doing looking

223
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,592
What are you talking about,
"private shit"?

224
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,469
There are literally

225
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,346
Well, I've been meaning

226
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,588
Jesus Christ. Look at

227
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,395
Clockwise rim job.

228
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,915
,
Yeah, wel l
sometimes you like seeing

229
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,894
You sick bastard!
Look at this!

230
00:16:57,184 --> 00:17:00,784
Oh, my God!
I have a disease, all right?

231
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:03,378
There are no chicks
with dicks, Johnny!

232
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,098
I'm so glad
I'm finally caught.

233
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,836
Johnny, now you listen to me.
This is a wake-up call,

234
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,990
You got to
get back out there

235
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,914
because you are spiraling

236
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,512
All right, fine, I will.
Just stop looking

237
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,793
The next chick you meet,
you are getting back

238
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:22,970
All right.
Now, let's get rid

239
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,963
What do you mean?

240
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,645
No, no, no.
That shit can

241
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,713
We got to smash your

242
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,951
No, the circuits could
still be reconstructed

243
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,297
We got to bury it

244
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,762
So, uh, basically that's it.

245
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,244
So what do

246
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,012
You'd really be

247
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,482
Well.. .

248
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,994
Oh, look, I did a lot

249
00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:11,498
and my sperm count's

250
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,644
Yeah, I ittle fel la's
having his own

251
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:24,913
No! Gonna need it for protein

252
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,183
Come on, guys.
I mean, are we done here?

253
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,602
That Sister, Sister marathon

254
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,760
Can't believe it.

255
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,142
That was really

256
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,598
I know. And after

257
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,418
piece-of-shit movie,

258
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,288
Ah!

259
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,203
Johnny, please,
just help me

260
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,855
He's the only guy
in the world

261
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,204
is even close to

262
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,458
Ted, it's I nsane.
We could get in

263
00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:56,994
But not if nobody

264
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,540
We sneak into his house,

265
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,239
and sneak out
with the sperm.

266
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,481
And think
how awesome

267
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,062
Would be

268
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,917
All right, I'll help you.
But we got to have

269
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,989
Hey! Um, are you,

270
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,446
and your air conditioner's

271
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,151
so I'm supposed to

272
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,661
Uh, okay.

273
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,122
Okay. Um, I just may need

274
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,783
I got to get some parts,

275
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,915
You could just, uh,
write that to John and Ted.

276
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,323
And you're not a cheater.
I mean, I think your

277
00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,241
It's around back.

278
00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,872
Take the damn raincoat off.

279
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,154
Piss off! I don't wanna get

280
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,379
Two League MVPs,

281
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:05,196
guaranteed first

282
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,027
Now let's give him a handjob

283
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,570
Wait, what do you mean,

284
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,401
What are you talking about?
You're the one

285
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:15,883
Yeah, but it's got

286
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,742
It's got to be skin on skin,

287
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,223
No, it doesn't.

288
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,081
Look,
I've never done this before.

289
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,996
You do it to yourself.

290
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,716
You're an ad ult with
a poster of this guy

291
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:26,906
You're telling me

292
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,101
Yeah, I want it!
You know I want it,

293
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,285
What if he doesn't like
the way I'm doing it?

294
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,495
Pull yourself together,

295
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:34,865
He's gonna love it.

296
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:49,540
Mr. Brady, we just need

297
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,041
What are you doing here?

298
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,142
TED; Oh, God!

299
00:21:57,943 --> 00:21:59,783
Take your goddamn

300
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,810
Holy shit!

301
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,345
J
Come on

302
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,365
Hey, Ted, let me

303
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,617
Why didn't you

304
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:31,857
Oh. Johnny, you kidding me,
man? You were the first

305
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,990
But you've just

306
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:38,833
that I just... You know,
I didn't want to put you

307
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,507
And plus,

308
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,089
I didn't think

309
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,924
Just so you know,
I'm totally willing

310
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:48,810
Really? You'd.. .

311
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:51,355
Ted, you're my best friend.

312
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,600
Besides, we just broke
into Tom Brady's house

313
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:04,710
Johnny, thank you!

314
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:07,686
Hey, thunder buddies

315
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,776
Come on.
We got to get out of here

316
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:16,891
_ll units,
we have a 3-17 on Maple Drive.

317
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:21,612
Someone's trying to steal

318
00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:36,309
What is that?

319
00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:37,974
What are you doing?

320
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,043
What do you mean

321
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,407
What are you doing

322
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:43,062
I'm doing this for you.
I'm getting ready.

323
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,731
You got your hand
on your dick.

324
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:46,079
I'm trying

325
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,654
so when I get in there

326
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:49,519
Sitting out here in public,

327
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,356
Where do you think you are?
Red Lobster?

328
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,751
What do you think

329
00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:54,207
Forget it.

330
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,027
smoked pot for two

331
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:58,702
Yes, I told you,
I'm clean, all right?

332
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,653
I'm sorry,
I just don't

333
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,172
I got to feed with

334
00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:08,500
Right this way.
I'll show you where to

335
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:24,424
I know,

336
00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:27,106
Oh, right, yeah, sorry,

337
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,295
I've been out of

338
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:34,757
I don't talk to
pretty girls that often.

339
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:39,032
Hey, when I'm done here,

340
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,715
Oh. I don't
mean this. I meant, like,

341
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:49,629
Oh. Yeah, okay, yeah.
Too bad. You're missing

342
00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:52,779
Um, do I just spit in

343
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,987
a lube or something?

344
00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:56,925
Video? I like Asian

345
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:57,957
There's lube

346
00:24:58,039 --> 00:24:59,799
All right,

347
00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:07,968
U h, excuse me.
Where's your

348
00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:09,449
Down that hallway,

349
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,830
Oh. No way!

350
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:23,500
Oh, hey, Doc,
is this where you guys

351
00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:27,317
It's the intermediary station

352
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:31,851
No. My friend is, uh,
yanking out a sample

353
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,732
,
Oh, well
that's a good friend.

354
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:40,993
Yeah, whatever,

355
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,841
N ow, wait. You look fam I I iar.
Are you that teddy

356
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:47,461
See, I was trying

357
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:48,867
where I'd seen you

358
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:53,531
So, how did you get
into this line of work?

359
00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:57,216
Not especially, but I love

360
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,107
fulfill their dreams

361
00:25:59,184 --> 00:26:01,304
It's amazing

362
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:10,616
This is where we perform
our pre-implantation

363
00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,655
We can eliminate

364
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:15,939
such as cystic fibrosis,
muscular dystrophy,

365
00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:17,714
The list goes on

366
00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:23,968
Ew. I mean, awesome!

367
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:26,341
Excuse me, Doctor,

368
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,831
You wanna see it? Huh?

369
00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:35,288
I can see it from here,

370
00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:36,745
Dude, take a closer look.

371
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:37,805
No, no, no!

372
00:26:37,888 --> 00:26:39,729
You got to take a closer look.

373
00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:41,648
He's beautiful. Come on!

374
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,446
Oh, shit!

375
00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:45,283
Fuck! Dude,

376
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,758
Well, it's not my fault,
A-Rod! You were

377
00:26:47,816 --> 00:26:48,856
We got to find something

378
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,542
There's containers over there.

379
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:53,402
No, no,

380
00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:55,168
You need two of them.
You got to scoop

381
00:26:58,492 --> 00:26:59,813
TED; Oh!

382
00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,391
Oh, my God!

383
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:10,141
Hang on. I got to

384
00:27:10,213 --> 00:27:11,413
No!

385
00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:18,264
Look, I'm so sorry!
We swear to God,

386
00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:23,326
Well, I guess it's all right.
Those are the rejected

387
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,876
Ah, you hear that,

388
00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:26,898
You're covered in

389
00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:44,156
No, make sure you

390
00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,927
information on our

391
00:27:45,999 --> 00:27:49,319
This has to be the biggest,
most impressive rollout

392
00:27:54,424 --> 00:27:56,704
Hi, Donny.

393
00:27:56,759 --> 00:27:58,479
Now this is

394
00:27:58,552 --> 00:27:59,793
so I want a full

395
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:08,227
I noticed you always

396
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,073
so I put fresh cakes

397
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:13,190
You're an important man.
You should never

398
00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:16,742
See, most people

399
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:27,044
I need a full report
on all the placement

400
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:29,363
Contact Bob Jennings

401
00:28:33,296 --> 00:28:36,056
I won't be able to perform

402
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,936
Wait, what?

403
00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:42,092
Tami-Lynn, according
to your test results,

404
00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:45,268
Wait, Doc,

405
00:28:45,433 --> 00:28:47,553
I mean, maybe you
should check again

406
00:28:49,103 --> 00:28:52,143
Tami-Lynn,
because of your history

407
00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:56,215
your ovarian canal

408
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,241
What are you talking about?
It looks fine.

409
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,600
Forgive me,

410
00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:06,941
Yeah, but I bet this

411
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,116
You probably see
this kind of stuff

412
00:29:11,834 --> 00:29:15,074
When I saw this, I threw up.

413
00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:18,056
Bottom line is,

414
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:21,711
I don't understand,
okay? None of this

415
00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:23,763
It's okay. It's okay, honey.
Come on, let's just go.

416
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,286
No, what does

417
00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:26,588
Does it mean we

418
00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:28,161
I don't know.

419
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:45,896
Well, I have gone

420
00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:48,192
and vetted your

421
00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:51,250
and I'm afraid this

422
00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:56,312
,
Well, first of all

423
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:58,059
of Tami-Lynn's

424
00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,974
Hey, I did

425
00:30:00,049 --> 00:30:02,689
Yeah, besides,
that was five years ago.

426
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:07,844
and, honestly,
it's the more

427
00:30:07,932 --> 00:30:10,212
I was reluctant to

428
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:17,811
Ted, in the eyes
of the state,

429
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:23,936
The state official

430
00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:27,110
that technically, you are

431
00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:34,963
Not according to

432
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,880
You know what, Teddy?

433
00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:50,431
What do you mean,

434
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:56,200
made it sound like
your status had gone under

435
00:30:56,731 --> 00:30:59,411
Your adoption request
may have raised

436
00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,744
if they choose to

437
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:05,464
it may leave you

438
00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:21,066
Hey. I just got off work

439
00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,770
Is that for real?
Did they actually

440
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,560
Yeah, it's unbelievable.

441
00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:28,514
What does that even mean?

442
00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:30,436
What, like garbage

443
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:34,370
J
I mean
maybe more like a hammer

444
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:35,675
What the hell

445
00:31:36,854 --> 00:31:39,254
They can't change
your whole life just by

446
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:42,235
Bullshit!

447
00:31:42,443 --> 00:31:44,803
One minute,
you in Africa,

448
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,782
in the river,

449
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,668
J
Then all of a sudden

450
00:31:48,741 --> 00:31:50,661
1
across the world

451
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:53,145
Wow! You make

452
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,209
Why the hell is this

453
00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,225
I don't have
a driver's license,

454
00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:02,334
I mean, hell, this is

455
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:06,320
Ted, can I see you

456
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:10,613
but I'm gonna
have to let
you go.

457
00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:14,485
What? Why? I've been
busting my ass at this job

458
00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:17,006
I just got a call from

459
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,939
I can't legally keep
you on as an employee

460
00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:22,262
because I've been informed
that you're technically.. .

461
00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:25,556
Technically not a person.

462
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:29,870
I'm sorry. But as of today,
you're fired.

463
00:32:33,286 --> 00:32:35,326
"Dear Ted,

464
00:32:35,413 --> 00:32:37,533
"has been terminated due to

465
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,517
"Dear Ted, your Discover card

466
00:32:40,585 --> 00:32:43,505
"Dear Ted, you are no longer

467
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:51,675
It's always gonna be empty.
There's never gonna be

468
00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:55,126
I don't understand.
We would have made

469
00:33:03,357 --> 00:33:06,037
"the state of Massachusetts

470
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:09,150
"that due to an oversight

471
00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:14,257
"you r marriage to
Tami-Lynn McCafferty

472
00:33:14,327 --> 00:33:17,247
"and, therefore, invalid

473
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:30,577
You fucking

474
00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:34,687
I mean, Tami's

475
00:33:34,888 --> 00:33:37,009
You know, I never
would even have

476
00:33:37,098 --> 00:33:39,339
if I had known it
was gonna cause me

477
00:33:39,393 --> 00:33:41,153
This whole thing is

478
00:33:41,270 --> 00:33:43,270
I mean, if you ask me,

479
00:33:43,815 --> 00:33:45,775
What do you mean?

480
00:33:47,777 --> 00:33:49,137
Hell yeah!

481
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:50,435
We'll get a lawyer

482
00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:52,088
the fucking government

483
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,320
Hey, hey!
Maybe we get one of them

484
00:33:56,409 --> 00:33:58,850
who gets shot in the head,
then turns all retarded

485
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,201
Yes. You know what,
we get out there

486
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,331
We take that shit all
the way up to Judge Judy

487
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:08,105
But we don't know
any lawyers. All our

488
00:34:08,297 --> 00:34:10,617
Oh, we just google
"Boston lawyers."
Ah.

489
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,251
Jesus. Look at

490
00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:39,112
This is a very
complicated case

491
00:34:39,161 --> 00:34:43,721
Most civil rights cases are,
but this one has some

492
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Well, everybody says

493
00:34:46,168 --> 00:34:49,808
Listen, your case is

494
00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:51,964
What is your

495
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:55,218
Uh, all of our
holdings are tied up

496
00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:57,743
Yeah, Read I ng Rai I road,
B&O Railroad

497
00:34:57,804 --> 00:35:00,925
We're working on
Short Line. Um, I own Atlantic

498
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,537
And I own four houses

499
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,602
I was thinking about
just tearing them down

500
00:35:04,686 --> 00:35:07,407
I won second prize
in a beauty contest.

501
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,401
Are you guys just

502
00:35:09,692 --> 00:35:11,092
Tell you what,
I'm gonna go

503
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:12,552
and I'll be back

504
00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,653
I'll tell you

505
00:35:14,822 --> 00:35:16,942
My niece recently

506
00:35:16,991 --> 00:35:20,111
and I've hired her on
as a junior associate

507
00:35:20,244 --> 00:35:22,604
I could assign her to

508
00:35:22,704 --> 00:35:24,505
And then you would get

509
00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:27,862
and I would get a more

510
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:31,669
Yeah, sure,

511
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:34,493
Um, are those hard candies,

512
00:35:35,384 --> 00:35:37,264
Uh, those aren't

513
00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:00,640
this is my buddy, John.

514
00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:04,221
Um, my uncle says
that you guys

515
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,680
but do you mind if

516
00:36:14,340 --> 00:36:16,300
Well, you know,
I just don't want

517
00:36:16,384 --> 00:36:18,144
frozen songs during

518
00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:19,979
It's just this is

519
00:36:20,054 --> 00:36:22,454
Ted has already lost
his job, his marriage

520
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:24,795
I know. My uncle

521
00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:27,054
Right. You see,
the thing is, we don't

522
00:36:27,143 --> 00:36:29,104
because the stakes

523
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:30,430
We can't just

524
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,921
We got to make sure
we're making

525
00:36:31,983 --> 00:36:33,343
We really

526
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,641
but I think what

527
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:36,254
just take a seat

528
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:38,805
Yeah, we really feel like

529
00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:43,404
You don't mind the pot,

530
00:36:44,704 --> 00:36:46,184
Oh, absolutely, me, too.

531
00:36:46,246 --> 00:36:48,887
I'm gonna get a huge
migraine in the parking lot

532
00:36:52,628 --> 00:36:54,348
Good to meet you. John.

533
00:36:54,422 --> 00:36:55,982
Wait, wait, wait.

534
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,840
Oh, my God!
So you're Sam L. Jackson!

535
00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:02,808
That's fucking great!

536
00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:07,098
You ever seen any movie ever?

537
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:12,880
It reminds me of

538
00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:14,540
last summer called

539
00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:17,215
Yeah, I was just gonna
say it's sort of like
this other batch we had called

540
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:18,918
"How Long Has

541
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:22,518
No, it's this new strain
my dealer gave me called

542
00:37:22,616 --> 00:37:24,736
You know,
I'm surprised a lawyer

543
00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:26,227
I mean, aren't you

544
00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:27,767
the War on Drugs

545
00:37:27,996 --> 00:37:29,957
Please,
the War on Drugs

546
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:31,402
It's just a way

547
00:37:31,458 --> 00:37:32,899
to inflate law

548
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,600
and lock up minorities

549
00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:38,271
And you, my friend,

550
00:37:40,092 --> 00:37:42,332
They've denied you
the same rights

551
00:37:42,386 --> 00:37:43,706
just because

552
00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:46,403
and I say that's a violation

553
00:37:46,849 --> 00:37:48,969
So what do you say?

554
00:37:55,983 --> 00:37:58,103
I'm having some trouble

555
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,235
I'm having a really

556
00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:06,966
Johnny, it's okay,

557
00:38:07,036 --> 00:38:08,236
You're doing fine.
You're doing great.

558
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,247
No, I'm scared. All right.

559
00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:11,210
,
I know. Come on
it's okay, though.

560
00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,850
You just have to

561
00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:17,530
How far away

562
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:23,388
Hey, it's okay.
One foot in front

563
00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:36,420
All right, I got
Dred Scott v. Sandford

564
00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:38,282
and Brown v.

565
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:42,719
I got Kramer vs. Kramer,
Alien vs. Predator,

566
00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:46,100
I got, uh,
Ernest Goes to Camp,

567
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:49,438
and The Importance
of Being Earnest,

568
00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:12,815
Okay. I'm gonna ask you
a few test questions.

569
00:39:14,061 --> 00:39:15,701
J
You're on the stand

570
00:39:15,771 --> 00:39:17,971
"Ted, do you consider yourself

571
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:19,143
Objection!

572
00:39:20,317 --> 00:39:21,317
Overruled!

573
00:39:21,402 --> 00:39:22,362
Guilty!

574
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:23,964
Hearsay! Briefcase!

575
00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:25,549
In my chambers!

576
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:26,976
I rest.
We could totally

577
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:55,760
Oh, my God! I'm gonna

578
00:41:03,587 --> 00:41:05,507
You're going to learn

579
00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:16,879
That's just like me.
That's exactly what

580
00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:18,374
Well, it's

581
00:41:18,686 --> 00:41:22,406
You know, Ted, if you
Iegally become a person,

582
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,856
Oh, yeah, you're right.

583
00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:33,907
Mr. T's character

584
00:41:37,246 --> 00:41:38,966
You've never seen Rocky?

585
00:41:46,297 --> 00:41:47,977
I'm not gonna remember

586
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:49,768
j ust because
you're singing a song

587
00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:52,443
You don't know
Samuel L. Jackson

588
00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:54,311
You are literally

589
00:41:55,889 --> 00:41:58,329
My pop culture
references are Hamlet,

590
00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:02,040
No, but I'm pretty sure

591
00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:04,064
Yeah, Sam, you really

592
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:08,591
Oh, really? Um, can either
of you tell me who wrote

593
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:10,189
Judy Blume?

594
00:42:14,074 --> 00:42:15,514
Why are you saying,

595
00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:18,018
You just said "Eff

596
00:42:18,078 --> 00:42:19,798
What did Scott Fitzgerald
do to you?

597
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,554
H is name's "Fuck

598
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:26,197
,
Well, then
what's the "F"

599
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:28,899
No. It's got
to be "Fuck."

600
00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:30,324
It's got to be "Fuck."

601
00:42:30,382 --> 00:42:31,582
Why the hell

602
00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:33,313
Well, because otherwise,

603
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:34,785
Yeah, he's hiding

604
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:36,683
Come on, read between
the lines, Sam.

605
00:42:36,764 --> 00:42:38,964
That's completely

606
00:42:39,016 --> 00:42:42,136
Yeah, wel I, whatever.
Ted Clubber Lang.

607
00:42:52,112 --> 00:42:54,992
Um, one of the janitors

608
00:42:56,949 --> 00:42:58,590
Fresh cakes!

609
00:43:01,954 --> 00:43:05,395
Well, Donny, I'm extremely
busy with the Comic Con

610
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:07,859
I'm told that you have
an open-door policy

611
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,480
for new toy ideas

612
00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:13,265
Yeah, I suppose

613
00:43:17,596 --> 00:43:20,156
Thank you.
Thank you.

614
00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:30,129
I can make this company

615
00:43:33,987 --> 00:43:36,307
a little boy named

616
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:38,645
that his teddy bear

617
00:43:38,784 --> 00:43:41,064
Somehow, one of

618
00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:42,840
Yes, I'm aware

619
00:43:52,713 --> 00:43:55,914
Well, Ted is suing

620
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:58,931
if he loses, the state

621
00:43:59,012 --> 00:44:01,652
a non-entity with

622
00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:04,302
That means

623
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,219
we could take him back,
with only a trivial degree

624
00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:14,626
And why would

625
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:19,695
Sir, if we
could cut him open to see

626
00:44:19,867 --> 00:44:23,987
we could manufacture
millions of Teds for

627
00:44:24,121 --> 00:44:26,721
Hasbro would double

628
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:31,717
We just have to make sure

629
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,960
You use every back channel,

630
00:44:36,425 --> 00:44:40,745
and you get the best
Iawyer in the world

631
00:44:41,221 --> 00:44:44,261
When Ted's rights

632
00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:51,724
No one's going
to kick up a legal fuss

633
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:55,639
You're a hell of
a lot smarter than

634
00:44:57,404 --> 00:44:59,764
Now, what exactly

635
00:45:00,449 --> 00:45:03,209
Mr. Jessup,
I'm not interested

636
00:45:05,621 --> 00:45:07,981
I just want a Ted

637
00:45:09,123 --> 00:45:12,244
All right.
I think I can

638
00:45:13,253 --> 00:45:14,853
But let's make

639
00:45:14,922 --> 00:45:16,602
We never had

640
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,280
Goldner and the board
cannot know about this

641
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:34,580
That was such

642
00:45:34,690 --> 00:45:36,531
I've never had
Pringles on

643
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:41,261
It's the least I can do
with all you're doing

644
00:45:41,322 --> 00:45:43,603
Oh, I haven't done

645
00:45:43,659 --> 00:45:45,379
Well, you know,
we wanted to take

646
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:49,452
but, uh, all we got
is Tami's income these days

647
00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:51,020
Things are getting

648
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:53,524
Yeah, I've had to do

649
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:57,194
BJs here! Get your BJs!

650
00:45:57,255 --> 00:46:00,056
Toothless and ready to go.

651
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:04,375
Hey, listen,

652
00:46:04,429 --> 00:46:06,989
U h, Tami, what do
you say you and me

653
00:46:07,056 --> 00:46:09,617
and give Sam
and Diane here

654
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:14,877
Hey, you go pull

655
00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:17,923
What do you think

656
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,233
Oh, it's nothing.
That's his way of saying

657
00:46:22,614 --> 00:46:25,254
We should probably
focus our attention

658
00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:32,115
You know, I am a little bit
curious. How is it that a guy

659
00:46:33,208 --> 00:46:37,688
Well, I was married
at one point,

660
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:43,653
No. I mean,
we'd make it work

661
00:46:44,094 --> 00:46:45,734
but she was always

662
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:53,205
I really tried everything
I could to be the man

663
00:46:53,686 --> 00:46:57,287
One day I woke up
and I just realized

664
00:46:58,108 --> 00:47:02,228
You know, as much as I love
this person, we're completely

665
00:47:02,945 --> 00:47:05,146
At least you

666
00:47:05,407 --> 00:47:06,967
Some people go through

667
00:47:07,034 --> 00:47:08,874
trying to make it work

668
00:47:11,996 --> 00:47:13,437
So, we're gonna

669
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:20,860
Hey, Johnny, come on.
It's almost 7: OO.
We got to get up there.

670
00:47:20,922 --> 00:47:22,242
Hey, Sam,

671
00:47:23,425 --> 00:47:26,425
On Tuesday nights,
we get fucked up

672
00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:34,710
How's your workout?

673
00:47:34,770 --> 00:47:36,650
Eat my pussy!

674
00:47:36,730 --> 00:47:38,250
Jesus, what the hell

675
00:47:38,732 --> 00:47:40,972
It's everybody

676
00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,727
You sons of bitches!
What the fuck is your.. .

677
00:47:47,949 --> 00:47:50,069
That's the lottery!

678
00:47:50,159 --> 00:47:52,800
That's what you get

679
00:48:34,454 --> 00:48:37,694
I don't care what any
fucking piece of paper says.

680
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:41,156
J
And I swear to God

681
00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:42,811
I'm gonna

682
00:48:42,962 --> 00:48:44,523
Wait a minute.

683
00:48:45,674 --> 00:48:48,074
But they patted us down
on the way in here.

684
00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:54,239
Who's that buttnut

685
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:59,805
That is why we've
been working so hard.

686
00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:01,656
It's our bad luck

687
00:49:02,315 --> 00:49:04,115
He's never lost

688
00:49:04,735 --> 00:49:08,455
Mr. Wild,
your opening statement,

689
00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:13,832
I would first like to thank
the ladies and gentlemen

690
00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:17,002
for taking time out

691
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:19,254
to be a part of

692
00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:24,948
Now, the case
we'll be examining today

693
00:49:30,427 --> 00:49:36,227
You know,
it really is a very special,

694
00:49:36,933 --> 00:49:40,813
It's a gift from God
bestowed upon

695
00:49:42,938 --> 00:49:45,739
But if we suddenly decide

696
00:49:48,862 --> 00:49:50,862
Does your dog

697
00:49:57,369 --> 00:50:00,610
Suddenly, being human
doesn't seem so special

698
00:50:01,750 --> 00:50:04,470
I'm confident
you'll make

699
00:50:05,503 --> 00:50:08,264
Thank you, Mr. Wild,

700
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:22,467
I got to be honest

701
00:50:23,230 --> 00:50:25,150
I'm a little nervous.

702
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,920
Wel I, not because
I'm a junior attorney

703
00:50:32,572 --> 00:50:34,172
And not because

704
00:50:34,241 --> 00:50:36,961
at the fact that

705
00:50:39,746 --> 00:50:44,066
No, I'm...
I'm nervous because

706
00:50:48,672 --> 00:50:53,352
l' m nervous
that you're going

707
00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:56,510
by smooth talk

708
00:50:56,762 --> 00:51:00,883
and forget about
the most important

709
00:51:05,188 --> 00:51:06,588
A hundred

710
00:51:06,690 --> 00:51:09,050
a slave
by the name

711
00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:12,709
sued to prove that
he was a person and

712
00:51:14,864 --> 00:51:18,865
And as history
has shown us,

713
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:23,842
In every

714
00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:28,539
we are only
able to recognize

715
00:51:30,963 --> 00:51:33,164
And when
the next conflict

716
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:36,300
we're once agai n
blind to it

717
00:51:37,304 --> 00:51:40,744
"Well, this is different,"

718
00:51:41,891 --> 00:51:45,092
It is the same beast,
just wearing

719
00:51:45,145 --> 00:51:46,785
and it's happening

720
00:51:48,315 --> 00:51:51,555
So I urge you,
Iadies and gentlemen

721
00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:54,813
not to be a footnote

722
00:51:57,489 --> 00:51:59,690
Don't wait too long

723
00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:14,838
Ms. McCafferty,
you and Ted recently

724
00:52:19,179 --> 00:52:21,459
why did you
not choose to have

725
00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:23,660
Because Teddy

726
00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:33,241
And, uh, why does Ted
not possess a, uh,

727
00:52:35,362 --> 00:52:37,802
N o, asshole,
he ain't got a dick

728
00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:43,222
Yeah! How's your tongue
taste in your own ass,

729
00:52:43,286 --> 00:52:44,526
Yeah! How'd you.. .

730
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:52,409
how would you categorize

731
00:52:54,965 --> 00:52:57,085
So you don't see him

732
00:52:57,384 --> 00:53:00,024
No, he's not my property.

733
00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:02,095
He's way more of a person

734
00:53:02,179 --> 00:53:03,580
1
I mean

735
00:53:03,639 --> 00:53:04,920
What the fuck is that?

736
00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:06,575
weird soccer-mom-looking

737
00:53:06,643 --> 00:53:08,163
Your Honor?

738
00:53:17,654 --> 00:53:19,934
when and where did

739
00:53:20,407 --> 00:53:22,767
Oh, what do you mean?
My parents got him

740
00:53:32,085 --> 00:53:34,005
I'm sorry,
I couldn't hear that.

741
00:53:34,087 --> 00:53:35,727
Child World toy store.

742
00:53:35,797 --> 00:53:37,197
There's no need for hostility,

743
00:53:38,632 --> 00:53:40,673
I saw you eating lunch alone!

744
00:53:40,759 --> 00:53:41,880
Your Honor?

745
00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:43,328
I hope your kids

746
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:48,805
Now, you said your

747
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,297
as one might purchase
a baseball glove

748
00:53:55,983 --> 00:53:57,224
You know what?

749
00:53:57,277 --> 00:53:59,037
This court is

750
00:53:59,112 --> 00:54:00,512
that I'm not as good

751
00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:02,813
and this is exactly
what you've been

752
00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:04,910
Sorry, sorry.

753
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,553
This is exactly

754
00:54:06,619 --> 00:54:08,139
to the homos,

755
00:54:08,204 --> 00:54:10,804
1
Ms. Jackson

756
00:54:10,873 --> 00:54:12,994
or I'll hold both of you

757
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,890
I'm standing up for me
and I'm standing up

758
00:54:29,768 --> 00:54:32,248
Your Honor, I'd like to call

759
00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:46,985
Objection. She's not his wife.

760
00:54:51,663 --> 00:54:54,784
I love my wife. Okay?

761
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:56,274
More than anything

762
00:54:56,335 --> 00:54:58,576
We're married.
I don't care

763
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:02,523
So you're saying
you are capable

764
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:06,025
Hey, it must be weird

765
00:55:06,096 --> 00:55:07,496
having a doll up here

766
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:09,795
with no kid pointing
to where his uncle

767
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:15,270
Yeah, I am capable.

768
00:55:15,855 --> 00:55:19,975
Ted, do you believe

769
00:55:38,628 --> 00:55:41,748
A-ha! What it is, man!

770
00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:43,888
Ted.
Right, right.

771
00:55:45,050 --> 00:55:48,091
Look, I'm not

772
00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:52,081
I don't know exactly what

773
00:55:57,646 --> 00:56:00,087
And I don't think
I ought to be treated

774
00:56:06,739 --> 00:56:08,779
Aware of his

775
00:56:18,168 --> 00:56:22,448
you were an employee
at Hasbro from 1976

776
00:56:22,588 --> 00:56:25,509
Yes, I supervised
the stuffing of

777
00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:27,527
And what is that

778
00:56:27,594 --> 00:56:30,034
A synthetic

779
00:56:30,179 --> 00:56:31,860
ls there anything else

780
00:56:32,181 --> 00:56:36,102
The bear products are
affixed with an electronic

781
00:56:36,436 --> 00:56:39,556
which can be programmed
to say any one

782
00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:49,040
would you please

783
00:56:52,744 --> 00:56:55,464
J
Please follow the instruction

784
00:57:16,643 --> 00:57:18,483
Also in the news,

785
00:57:18,603 --> 00:57:20,643
is beginning to get

786
00:57:20,730 --> 00:57:22,690
for its civil

787
00:57:22,815 --> 00:57:24,695
Ted, the bear,

788
00:57:24,775 --> 00:57:28,296
came to life
back in the mid-'80s

789
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:31,446
is suing to prove

790
00:57:31,741 --> 00:57:34,261
Okay, so what are
we even talking
about here?

791
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:38,207
What we're talking about
is a civil rights issue.
This bear has rights.

792
00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:40,249
Oh, come ont
He does nott
He's a toy.

793
00:57:40,333 --> 00:57:41,853
Then why are you
calling it a "he"?

794
00:57:41,918 --> 00:57:44,278
Look, we call
the Statue
of Liberty "she,"

795
00:57:44,337 --> 00:57:47,697
but we all know
it's an object made
of copper and steel.

796
00:57:47,757 --> 00:57:48,797
Oh, good point.

797
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,281
Yes, but she isn't conscious
or sentient. He is.
Mmm-hmm.

798
00:57:52,512 --> 00:57:53,552
Now, come ont

799
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,278
Are any of you
gonna sit there
and tell me

800
00:57:55,347 --> 00:57:57,068
that this stuffed
doll is a person?

801
00:57:57,141 --> 00:57:58,101
No.
Not at all.

802
00:57:58,183 --> 00:57:59,384
We all agree
all the tíme.

803
00:57:59,434 --> 00:58:01,795
I don't think
he should want to be

804
00:58:01,853 --> 00:58:03,734
After all, you know,

805
00:58:03,815 --> 00:58:05,615
sleeping and cuddling

806
00:58:05,692 --> 00:58:07,532
That's cute when

807
00:58:07,610 --> 00:58:09,610
When you're a person,

808
00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:14,491
Ted, do you have
anything to say

809
00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:36,405
I'm sory, Your Honor.

810
00:58:37,056 --> 00:58:42,576
And live from New York,
it's Saturday Night!

811
00:59:00,079 --> 00:59:01,999
What is taking

812
00:59:02,081 --> 00:59:03,881
Oh, is it bad that

813
00:59:03,958 --> 00:59:05,598
It's not good or bad.

814
00:59:05,668 --> 00:59:07,148
that they're probably

815
00:59:07,587 --> 00:59:09,987
Johnny, it may be time

816
00:59:11,132 --> 00:59:12,732
I mean saying his

817
00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:15,126
Betelgeuse.

818
00:59:16,429 --> 00:59:17,709
You fucking crazy?

819
00:59:17,764 --> 00:59:18,964
that guy running

820
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:20,215
No, Johnny,

821
00:59:20,266 --> 00:59:21,626
He'll help us.

822
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:24,284
You are meddling with powers

823
00:59:41,579 --> 00:59:44,379
Mr. Willer, has the jury

824
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:46,464
Yes, we have,
Your Honor.

825
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:51,246
U m, in the case of
Ted v. The Commonwealth

826
00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:56,659
we, the jury,
find for the Commonwealth

827
01:00:10,190 --> 01:00:13,031
The plaintiff is hereby

828
01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:16,169
The definition entails

829
01:00:16,239 --> 01:00:18,719
and will be recognized

830
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,183
by the Commonwealth

831
01:00:21,244 --> 01:00:24,364
The cou rt wishes
to thank the jury

832
01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,424
Are you sure

833
01:00:33,588 --> 01:00:35,509
Remember, you're

834
01:00:35,590 --> 01:00:37,471
Hasbro can have

835
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:41,715
J
And when I have him
I'll call you

836
01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:47,674
Should we say it

837
01:00:48,813 --> 01:00:49,773
Say it. Just say it.

838
01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:51,056
I don't want to.

839
01:01:02,869 --> 01:01:04,789
This isn't

840
01:01:07,206 --> 01:01:09,766
Why is he being
treated differently

841
01:01:10,168 --> 01:01:12,408
It's what

842
01:01:12,462 --> 01:01:14,462
Putting different people

843
01:01:14,547 --> 01:01:15,947
and making them

844
01:01:20,219 --> 01:01:23,579
No, I'm sorry! I thought

845
01:01:24,891 --> 01:01:27,171
The reality is you have

846
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:31,074
Nobody's blaming you for this.

847
01:01:33,315 --> 01:01:35,676
and l...

848
01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:37,670
Oh, so what are

849
01:01:37,737 --> 01:01:40,577
I mean, we can't take
this lying down, right?

850
01:01:41,364 --> 01:01:44,085
You know what we're
gonna do? We're gonna

851
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:48,300
He is the top
civil rights attorney

852
01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,854
Wait. Is he the one
who got that female

853
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,361
Yeah, that had
a sad ending though,

854
01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:54,819
She was at

855
01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:56,159
and somebody handed her

856
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,414
and...

857
01:01:57,590 --> 01:01:59,550
It was very sad.

858
01:01:59,717 --> 01:02:02,197
You know what? If anyone
can get this verdict

859
01:02:03,429 --> 01:02:05,549
but we've become such

860
01:02:05,597 --> 01:02:07,878
I feel like
he might take it

861
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:14,867
Hey, Johnny,

862
01:02:17,610 --> 01:02:20,210
Hi, I'm calling
for Patrick Meighan.

863
01:02:20,279 --> 01:02:23,639
I defended Ted Clubber Lang

864
01:02:25,617 --> 01:02:29,658
Hi, Mr. Meighan.
Thank you so much

865
01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:34,217
Oh, you've been following

866
01:02:35,253 --> 01:02:37,133
Yeah, that's actually
why I'm calling.

867
01:02:39,130 --> 01:02:43,491
if, um, maybe you would
consider helping us

868
01:02:45,346 --> 01:02:49,306
Well, yeah. I mean,
it would have to be

869
01:02:49,391 --> 01:02:51,592
because we're not
really working

870
01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:53,884
But I think
you'll be impressed

871
01:02:53,938 --> 01:02:55,738
Oh!
Ha-ha!

872
01:02:57,148 --> 01:03:00,469
Yeah, great.

873
01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:02,888
Okay, I'll see you

874
01:03:04,407 --> 01:03:06,287
He said he'll meet
with us on Friday

875
01:03:09,161 --> 01:03:11,201
I don't want to jinx it,

876
01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:13,492
Oh, my God!
You hear that, Johnny?

877
01:03:13,583 --> 01:03:14,823
I still get a shot!

878
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:16,515
Oh, my God!

879
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:17,789
Are you thinking

880
01:03:17,837 --> 01:03:20,197
Let's go down to the improv

881
01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:24,340
So first we need
a historical event.

882
01:03:25,677 --> 01:03:28,198
Okay,

883
01:03:28,346 --> 01:03:29,947
All right,
let's start

884
01:03:31,266 --> 01:03:34,507
Okay, all right,
for real, guys, for real.

885
01:03:36,521 --> 01:03:38,282
All right,
we've heard

886
01:03:38,357 --> 01:03:41,117
Let's maybe give
somebody else

887
01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:42,993
How about a location?

888
01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,030
The offices

889
01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:48,203
Okay, seriously,
sir, uh, I just need

890
01:03:51,119 --> 01:03:53,080
Okay, I heard "Starbucks."

891
01:03:54,415 --> 01:03:57,535
All right, Starbucks.
Okay, now,

892
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:01,983
We're giving you

893
01:04:02,047 --> 01:04:03,568
J
Come on

894
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:16,934
All right.
We'll be back

895
01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:22,633
You go kick some ass
because I am not taking off

896
01:04:22,777 --> 01:04:25,897
I love you too, baby.

897
01:05:10,491 --> 01:05:12,491
If you wanna sit

898
01:05:12,576 --> 01:05:14,816
Just fuck your own brother

899
01:05:14,869 --> 01:05:17,670
Oh, why can't you

900
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,560
Hey, Sam, why do you
have a duffel bag
that says "Arizona State"?

901
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,029
Because that's

902
01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:27,171
What, you went

903
01:05:28,342 --> 01:05:30,382
,
Oh, man
that's why

904
01:05:30,469 --> 01:05:31,589
Hello?

905
01:05:31,637 --> 01:05:34,917
Arizona State. Hey,
how many times you been
fucked on a houseboat?

906
01:05:38,226 --> 01:05:39,427
Did you write

907
01:05:39,478 --> 01:05:41,838
on the collected

908
01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:43,981
J
Yeah. Yeah
I did. I got

909
01:05:44,233 --> 01:05:48,353
So do you say
"Arizona State University"

910
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:55,760
This is perfect.
We're gonna get to

911
01:05:56,161 --> 01:05:57,962
Hey, Sam,

912
01:05:59,665 --> 01:06:01,585
Everybody always says

913
01:06:01,666 --> 01:06:02,947
They're all

914
01:06:03,085 --> 01:06:04,965
No, I love it.

915
01:06:05,045 --> 01:06:07,405
Have some Cookie Crisp.
You need

916
01:06:07,505 --> 01:06:08,866
Why do you think

917
01:06:08,924 --> 01:06:10,684
Because you've
been staring at it,

918
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:13,683
Hey, what's the deal here?
You guys ever gonna

919
01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:18,627
No, I'm just saying.
You look like you're

920
01:06:23,688 --> 01:06:25,569
Where the hel l's
my coffee? I've been

921
01:06:25,648 --> 01:06:27,889
I'm so sorry, sir.
I forgot.

922
01:06:27,985 --> 01:06:30,785
Jesus, you're a waitress,
you're not building rockets.

923
01:06:33,239 --> 01:06:35,880
Hey, 20 bucks I can
toss a Cookie Crisp

924
01:06:37,369 --> 01:06:39,769
I used to pitch
for the softball team

925
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:41,710
Oh, yeah?
Was your mascot

926
01:06:44,043 --> 01:06:45,803
Oh, my God!

927
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,640
Oh, Jesus Christ.

928
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:52,476
Now, we're assholes.

929
01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:55,311
J
I swear to God
I'll kick your goddamn ass!

930
01:06:55,387 --> 01:06:58,307
Uh, sir, I apologize

931
01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:03,500
Cookie Crisp in your
bum-bumzies. I'm sowwy.

932
01:07:04,063 --> 01:07:07,423
Well, under the circumstances,

933
01:07:07,858 --> 01:07:09,978
Oh, my God.
Now we're even

934
01:07:10,068 --> 01:07:11,749
Go get my Cookie

935
01:07:11,904 --> 01:07:13,224
You guys making

936
01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:14,960
Uh, no, ma'am. We're just

937
01:07:15,282 --> 01:07:17,402
Let's try to keep
your boyfriend

938
01:07:22,915 --> 01:07:24,355
We'll just get the check.

939
01:07:29,128 --> 01:07:32,089
John, did you see that?
She was totally giving

940
01:07:33,425 --> 01:07:34,785
She was giving you

941
01:07:36,302 --> 01:07:38,823
Some women just

942
01:07:40,599 --> 01:07:43,039
No, you have
"Give us the ring,

943
01:07:44,686 --> 01:07:46,687
We got two hours
of driving left and

944
01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,452
Yeah, we got to be

945
01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:50,444
I'll drive.

946
01:07:51,860 --> 01:07:53,381
Who cares?

947
01:07:53,445 --> 01:07:54,885
every once in a while

948
01:07:57,867 --> 01:08:00,387
I've been kicked around

949
01:08:00,703 --> 01:08:02,543
J
I want to feel useful

950
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:04,283
Twenty minutes

951
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:10,871
Ah! Ah!

952
01:09:42,805 --> 01:09:45,285
1
Well, Sam
it's been 20 minutes.

953
01:09:58,487 --> 01:10:00,287
Hey, listen, Sam,

954
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:02,084
That barn just

955
01:10:02,157 --> 01:10:04,517
No, no, it's my fault.

956
01:10:04,576 --> 01:10:06,216
I should never

957
01:10:07,954 --> 01:10:09,595
You were wrong
to do that.

958
01:10:09,665 --> 01:10:13,585
But that and the trial
are the only two things

959
01:10:14,420 --> 01:10:16,180
I can't see shit

960
01:10:16,255 --> 01:10:18,375
We're gonna have to
wait till tomorrow

961
01:10:18,674 --> 01:10:21,274
Uh, wait. Are we gonna

962
01:10:21,426 --> 01:10:23,987
Yeah, it'll be fine.
We just got to find

963
01:10:45,242 --> 01:10:48,482
You know what this is?

964
01:10:49,747 --> 01:10:51,987
It's a cross between
Lemon Skunk and

965
01:10:53,417 --> 01:10:54,737
I've only had it

966
01:10:54,792 --> 01:10:56,313
and it was one of

967
01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:57,743
What the hell is

968
01:10:57,796 --> 01:10:58,996
doing out in

969
01:11:42,006 --> 01:11:44,007
They should've sent

970
01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:02,950
Please tell me
that's not the only bong

971
01:12:03,028 --> 01:12:05,948
Yeah, Sam.
This puts us in kind of

972
01:12:06,030 --> 01:12:07,511
I mean, we wanna

973
01:12:07,573 --> 01:12:08,934
I don't have any

974
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:11,914
Is this hilarious?
I got it at

975
01:12:13,287 --> 01:12:15,128
It's so stupid.

976
01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:19,981
I don't wanna put
a big glass cock

977
01:12:20,045 --> 01:12:21,445
Oh, you think

978
01:12:22,713 --> 01:12:24,354
Johnny, you walked

979
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:27,307
How about th is?
I'm gonna go

980
01:12:27,385 --> 01:12:29,386
and I'm gonna see
if I can find a soda can

981
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:32,562
Yeah, see if you can

982
01:12:32,808 --> 01:12:35,488
Yeah. Hey, that's
the name of the South

983
01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:38,175
She gets.. .

984
01:12:46,947 --> 01:12:48,787
You know?

985
01:12:48,866 --> 01:12:50,506
to get stoned with me.

986
01:12:51,743 --> 01:12:54,663
Wow. That's the cornerstone

987
01:12:54,829 --> 01:12:56,270
I agree.

988
01:13:00,252 --> 01:13:02,812
So, you think this Meighan guy

989
01:13:02,962 --> 01:13:05,803
I mean, honestly,

990
01:13:07,176 --> 01:13:08,696
But we're going

991
01:13:09,845 --> 01:13:11,445
Listen, I just really

992
01:13:11,512 --> 01:13:13,353
for all you've done,

993
01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:15,232
I know it's not

994
01:13:16,435 --> 01:13:18,715
There are more
important things

995
01:13:22,024 --> 01:13:24,264
I don't know what

996
01:13:24,318 --> 01:13:26,038
that wish you made

997
01:13:28,947 --> 01:13:32,987
And it seems to me
that once the law

998
01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:35,819
how soon before

999
01:13:36,121 --> 01:13:38,041
Who gets subiugated

1000
01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:41,666
You're really smart,

1001
01:13:43,045 --> 01:13:44,285
How come

1002
01:13:44,630 --> 01:13:46,910
Dude, have you seen

1003
01:13:46,965 --> 01:13:48,965
I'm supposed to date

1004
01:13:49,051 --> 01:13:50,971
with a wife-beater

1005
01:13:51,052 --> 01:13:53,493
and a shamrock tattoo

1006
01:13:56,975 --> 01:13:57,215
I couldn't

1007
01:13:57,225 --> 01:13:58,506
I couldn't

1008
01:13:58,560 --> 01:14:01,240
but I got to tell you,
there's some awesome shit

1009
01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:04,353
Take a look at this.
I found a cowboy hat

1010
01:14:04,565 --> 01:14:05,966
Hey, be careful

1011
01:14:06,109 --> 01:14:07,229
No, it's okay.

1012
01:14:09,195 --> 01:14:11,396
And my fucking nose

1013
01:14:12,866 --> 01:14:14,826
Jeez, I wonder who

1014
01:14:14,952 --> 01:14:16,912
Maybe we should
find someplace else.

1015
01:14:16,994 --> 01:14:18,995
We're in the middle

1016
01:14:19,081 --> 01:14:21,121
if we get out of here
by dawn, we should

1017
01:14:25,503 --> 01:14:28,024
A little bit.

1018
01:14:44,273 --> 01:14:49,393
To shine upon me

1019
01:14:50,028 --> 01:14:55,868
Till I'm all alone

1020
01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:15,401
And found me love

1021
01:15:15,636 --> 01:15:21,997
Then you went and

1022
01:15:34,780 --> 01:15:40,901
The games that

1023
01:15:47,418 --> 01:15:53,419
if all of my nights

1024
01:16:01,058 --> 01:16:06,138
You're takin' all the light

1025
01:16:06,771 --> 01:16:13,052
And saving it up

1026
01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:06,350
J
Come on
put your legs

1027
01:17:13,046 --> 01:17:16,166
Was it just kissing
last night?

1028
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:24,827
Man, we got a lot
of pot in this car.

1029
01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:26,171
Oh, we're gonna

1030
01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:27,466
but just stuff it

1031
01:17:27,519 --> 01:17:28,519
We don't wanna

1032
01:17:47,538 --> 01:17:49,059
Oh, what the fuck?

1033
01:17:52,502 --> 01:17:54,302
God dam n it!
What the hell's

1034
01:17:54,378 --> 01:17:55,739
Oh, I fucking owe you,

1035
01:17:55,796 --> 01:17:57,077
What do you mean?

1036
01:17:57,131 --> 01:17:59,092
Oh, shut up

1037
01:18:29,622 --> 01:18:31,423
Watch it.
Jesus! Watch where

1038
01:18:31,500 --> 01:18:34,420
It's a crosswalk, jackass!
We have the right of way!

1039
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,947
Hey, what the hell you doing
walking around dressed

1040
01:18:38,006 --> 01:18:41,046
It's Comic Con, you idiot!
We're going to

1041
01:18:41,134 --> 01:18:42,534
You're the idiots,

1042
01:18:42,594 --> 01:18:43,874
would never be

1043
01:18:43,929 --> 01:18:46,849
Yeah, you're his boss
and you two guys

1044
01:18:46,931 --> 01:18:48,572
Yeah, bite me,

1045
01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:50,402
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Hey! Come on.

1046
01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:51,717
Yeah, that's two

1047
01:18:51,853 --> 01:18:53,413
Yeah, sorry, guys.

1048
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,880
Nah, it's okay.
I'm sorry you have

1049
01:18:59,528 --> 01:19:01,208
Oh, hey, come on.

1050
01:19:21,049 --> 01:19:23,689
This Patrick Meighan's

1051
01:19:29,515 --> 01:19:32,156
And there is our

1052
01:19:32,644 --> 01:19:34,644
Ms. Jackson?

1053
01:19:45,991 --> 01:19:47,831
Mr. Meighan,

1054
01:19:47,993 --> 01:19:49,593
Thank you so much

1055
01:19:49,661 --> 01:19:51,941
Not at all. It's my pleasure.

1056
01:19:52,122 --> 01:19:54,242
Oh, this office is

1057
01:20:00,087 --> 01:20:03,208
I think I want
to sleep on a bed

1058
01:20:06,595 --> 01:20:08,395
I don't want to waste

1059
01:20:10,180 --> 01:20:13,021
Ted, I've been

1060
01:20:13,310 --> 01:20:15,630
And while I'm sympathetic

1061
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:18,927
I'm sorry to say

1062
01:20:19,024 --> 01:20:20,144
What?

1063
01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:27,996
You want to be human

1064
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:30,725
J
That's a hard sell

1065
01:20:31,202 --> 01:20:33,642
See, the important

1066
01:20:33,704 --> 01:20:36,105
is making a contribution

1067
01:20:36,166 --> 01:20:38,566
Assisting in

1068
01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:45,872
The drugs, the parties,

1069
01:20:45,925 --> 01:20:48,365
Mr. Meighan, we've come

1070
01:20:48,427 --> 01:20:50,068
because you said

1071
01:20:58,229 --> 01:21:00,629
You could've been

1072
01:21:00,774 --> 01:21:02,974
Could've been a leader,

1073
01:21:09,239 --> 01:21:10,520
Hey, Ted! Come on!

1074
01:21:10,574 --> 01:21:12,575
He doesn't mean that.
Please forgive me,

1075
01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:17,040
that you've had
any positive effect

1076
01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:19,887
Well, that's not true.
He's had a positive

1077
01:21:20,042 --> 01:21:22,923
Would that positive effect

1078
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,364
for purchasing

1079
01:21:25,422 --> 01:21:28,143
Well, how the fuck
do you prepare for

1080
01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:32,009
You know why

1081
01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:39,095
The precedent
it sets would affect

1082
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:42,592
And unfortunately,
the public doesn't judge

1083
01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:49,076
And you can't appeal

1084
01:21:49,488 --> 01:21:52,969
N onetheless,
I wish you all the best

1085
01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:58,808
And from what

1086
01:21:58,957 --> 01:22:01,357
at one point in your
career that would've

1087
01:22:02,210 --> 01:22:05,650
I'm sorry you're not

1088
01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:16,187
Are those Tootsie Rolls

1089
01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:20,549
Those aren't

1090
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:33,696
So that's it.

1091
01:22:36,994 --> 01:22:39,995
Ted, dude,
I'm so sorry, man.

1092
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:44,339
I let you guys down

1093
01:22:44,461 --> 01:22:47,701
Hey. You didn't
let us down, Sam.

1094
01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:50,482
And, look,
regardless of

1095
01:22:50,550 --> 01:22:53,150
you're still the best
thing that's happened

1096
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:01,680
That's great!
That's fucking great!

1097
01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:02,810
I'm glad you guys

1098
01:23:04,021 --> 01:23:05,982
What do you mean, "What?"

1099
01:23:06,064 --> 01:23:08,585
And you're sitting there

1100
01:23:08,650 --> 01:23:10,331
and she's probably

1101
01:23:10,403 --> 01:23:12,523
Well, don't yell at us, dude!

1102
01:23:14,032 --> 01:23:17,152
Maybe if you guys
had spent a little less time

1103
01:23:17,202 --> 01:23:20,042
Sam could've won this
thing and I wouldn't be

1104
01:23:20,121 --> 01:23:22,321
Like garbage or

1105
01:23:22,748 --> 01:23:25,109
Hey, we've been fighting
right alongside you

1106
01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:26,208
And remember,

1107
01:23:26,293 --> 01:23:27,294
who's been pushing me

1108
01:23:27,377 --> 01:23:29,298
I finally meet someone
and you're giving me

1109
01:23:29,380 --> 01:23:30,980
Oh, no, you're right.

1110
01:23:31,049 --> 01:23:32,169
You're right, it's fine.

1111
01:23:32,216 --> 01:23:34,657
I got no job,

1112
01:23:34,719 --> 01:23:37,839
But you have fun
porking Gollum here,

1113
01:23:40,350 --> 01:23:42,390
She's a model.

1114
01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:44,890
JOHN; Ted!

1115
01:24:45,790 --> 01:24:47,190
I thought that was you.

1116
01:24:50,752 --> 01:24:52,633
Hey, what's going on?

1117
01:24:52,755 --> 01:24:57,155
I just feel at home
among the outcasts.

1118
01:24:57,426 --> 01:25:00,027
Well, you know, Rick and l,

1119
01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:03,456
Dress up like
we're into this shit

1120
01:25:04,809 --> 01:25:07,689
Uh, why don't you go
get me some Big League Chew.

1121
01:25:11,899 --> 01:25:14,860
Uh-huh. All right,
well, good luck with

1122
01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:16,344
Right on.

1123
01:25:17,363 --> 01:25:19,803
God damn it,
that underwear

1124
01:25:32,336 --> 01:25:34,697
I was such a big fan of yours

1125
01:25:34,922 --> 01:25:37,643
Oh, thanks a lot.

1126
01:25:39,344 --> 01:25:41,344
Hey, do you think
I could take a picture

1127
01:25:43,139 --> 01:25:44,939
Great, great!

1128
01:25:46,725 --> 01:25:49,006
Uh, okay, why are we

1129
01:25:50,313 --> 01:25:52,513
I just don't want
you to get mobbed

1130
01:25:52,564 --> 01:25:55,445
Yeah, that's true. I've
been mistaken for an

1131
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:56,566
All right,

1132
01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:08,104
It's been some time,

1133
01:26:08,372 --> 01:26:10,573
What, you mean since

1134
01:26:11,542 --> 01:26:13,262
That wasn't

1135
01:26:15,755 --> 01:26:18,035
I have some big plans

1136
01:26:20,717 --> 01:26:22,358
I need you to come

1137
01:26:54,210 --> 01:26:55,970
He could be anywhere.

1138
01:26:56,045 --> 01:26:57,365
We should just

1139
01:26:57,421 --> 01:26:59,022
What do you mean?
We have to find him

1140
01:26:59,090 --> 01:27:01,130
He's a teddy bear on
his own in New York,

1141
01:27:06,055 --> 01:27:07,855
Johnny, Johnny, it's me.

1142
01:27:07,931 --> 01:27:10,292
Ted, where are you?
Dude, we've been looking

1143
01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:13,956
,
I'm at Comic Con
but, John, it's Donny!

1144
01:27:14,063 --> 01:27:15,543
He's after me.

1145
01:27:15,605 --> 01:27:17,206
What the fuck?

1146
01:27:28,368 --> 01:27:30,209
What's the matter?

1147
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:31,975
We got to get to

1148
01:27:52,518 --> 01:27:54,718
I really love

1149
01:27:55,354 --> 01:28:00,154
Especially that song they sing

1150
01:28:04,404 --> 01:28:06,525
You just can't

1151
01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:30,508
Crazy son of

1152
01:28:35,353 --> 01:28:36,713
What are you doing

1153
01:28:38,523 --> 01:28:40,283
You better be planning

1154
01:28:40,858 --> 01:28:43,098
He just reminds me

1155
01:28:59,085 --> 01:29:00,125
You see

1156
01:29:05,049 --> 01:29:07,769
Hi. Have any of you guys
seen a talking teddy

1157
01:29:07,844 --> 01:29:09,884
Shh. They're about
to an nounce

1158
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:16,876
Who's Superman?

1159
01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:18,976
I'm just kidding.
I'm fucking with you.

1160
01:29:19,814 --> 01:29:20,054
And if that is

1161
01:29:20,021 --> 01:29:22,062
And if that is

1162
01:29:22,149 --> 01:29:24,990
Hasbro will be

1163
01:29:25,069 --> 01:29:27,909
of Transformers

1164
01:29:29,991 --> 01:29:31,591
We've got a brand-new

1165
01:29:32,743 --> 01:29:34,103
that is gonna be.. .

1166
01:29:41,502 --> 01:29:43,342
let's take a look at

1167
01:29:43,421 --> 01:29:45,221
with all of our

1168
01:29:53,096 --> 01:29:55,497
Come on, there's an empty

1169
01:29:56,641 --> 01:29:58,642
Yeah, there was

1170
01:29:58,728 --> 01:30:00,208
U n CO n SC I O U S n OW,

1171
01:30:00,270 --> 01:30:02,511
Jesus!
Why did you

1172
01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:04,685
I've been following
him around

1173
01:30:04,734 --> 01:30:08,214
This was the only chance
I could get him alone.

1174
01:30:12,283 --> 01:30:14,243
Uh, yeah, he had

1175
01:30:14,327 --> 01:30:17,287
He puked a pile of cotton
all over this little girl

1176
01:30:17,371 --> 01:30:19,891
so we' re gon na
take him back

1177
01:30:23,002 --> 01:30:26,802
Hey, guys, be careful
out there. Some nerd

1178
01:30:27,340 --> 01:30:29,140
Hey, watch that floor.

1179
01:30:38,475 --> 01:30:40,796
Man, it's
a goddamn party

1180
01:30:41,103 --> 01:30:42,943
Hey, I remember

1181
01:30:43,104 --> 01:30:44,985
You get a nose job?

1182
01:30:45,315 --> 01:30:46,996
Yes, you did,

1183
01:30:47,068 --> 01:30:48,628
Hey, we just ran

1184
01:30:49,819 --> 01:30:53,180
He got a little wasted,
so these two dudes took him

1185
01:30:53,323 --> 01:30:54,324
Did you see

1186
01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:56,250
Yeah, yeah.
Back hallway,

1187
01:31:11,509 --> 01:31:14,109
What the fuck?
What the fuck's

1188
01:31:15,554 --> 01:31:17,954
He really is

1189
01:31:18,015 --> 01:31:20,455
You son of a bitch!

1190
01:31:22,603 --> 01:31:27,043
Kidnapping only
applies to people.

1191
01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:29,029
Yeah, so is

1192
01:31:32,822 --> 01:31:34,382
What do you say there,

1193
01:31:34,532 --> 01:31:37,652
Right there. Death to Ming.

1194
01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:42,730
Right there.
Death to Ming.

1195
01:31:49,796 --> 01:31:51,357
What the hell is

1196
01:31:51,424 --> 01:31:54,024
Look, Sam, this is
a really bad time, all right?

1197
01:31:54,092 --> 01:31:57,613
But it was a good time
for you to vandalize

1198
01:32:10,067 --> 01:32:12,427
Look, Donny, Donny!

1199
01:32:12,694 --> 01:32:14,415
Think about what

1200
01:32:14,488 --> 01:32:18,008
You remem ber?
You cut me open, that's it!

1201
01:32:20,243 --> 01:32:22,284
I won't be any

1202
01:32:26,625 --> 01:32:28,305
We're gonna figure out

1203
01:32:28,377 --> 01:32:29,977
and then we're gonna

1204
01:32:30,046 --> 01:32:32,006
One for every

1205
01:32:35,967 --> 01:32:38,848
One that loves me

1206
01:32:39,095 --> 01:32:41,696
Look, Donny,

1207
01:32:41,849 --> 01:32:44,609
God, that sounds fucked up.

1208
01:32:46,186 --> 01:32:47,947
What if I gave you

1209
01:32:48,021 --> 01:32:49,782
your pants while

1210
01:34:14,774 --> 01:34:16,455
Ted!

1211
01:34:18,194 --> 01:34:20,075
Get away from him,

1212
01:34:20,155 --> 01:34:22,276
Ted, you okay, buddy?

1213
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:25,769
Wait, Mr. Jessup,
please don't go. Come on,

1214
01:34:25,827 --> 01:34:28,468
You're on your own, Danny.
I can't be implicated

1215
01:34:35,045 --> 01:34:37,245
Killing him at Fenway Park

1216
01:34:39,091 --> 01:34:42,651
You don't deserve him, John.

1217
01:34:42,927 --> 01:34:44,928
I've been wanting

1218
01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:05,651
Listen, Johnny,
I wanna tell you

1219
01:35:07,077 --> 01:35:09,877
Look, Teddy, you were upset,
and I shouldn't have brushed

1220
01:35:11,122 --> 01:35:13,403
Just listen to me.

1221
01:35:15,502 --> 01:35:19,103
All right? I was just hurting

1222
01:35:19,881 --> 01:35:24,002
And that, in the eyes
of the world

1223
01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,202
But you know what?

1224
01:35:27,264 --> 01:35:30,584
It doesn't matter what
the world calls me.

1225
01:35:30,935 --> 01:35:32,455
And that's all

1226
01:35:36,689 --> 01:35:40,210
if you two want
to be together, nothing

1227
01:35:40,569 --> 01:35:42,049
Aw, buddy,

1228
01:35:46,158 --> 01:35:49,478
J
And for what it's worth

1229
01:35:51,747 --> 01:35:54,067
As much as anybody

1230
01:35:54,123 --> 01:35:58,964
Sam, that means the world
coming from someone

1231
01:36:26,907 --> 01:36:28,747
Oh, my God. John!

1232
01:36:28,826 --> 01:36:30,066
John!

1233
01:36:30,118 --> 01:36:31,599
Are you okay?

1234
01:36:32,746 --> 01:36:34,106
John, hey.

1235
01:36:37,001 --> 01:36:39,281
Jesus Christ, that's
the starship Enterprise.. .

1236
01:36:40,837 --> 01:36:42,718
Johnny? John, come on,

1237
01:36:42,840 --> 01:36:45,120
We need an ambulance

1238
01:36:51,681 --> 01:36:53,082
The guy dressed like

1239
01:36:59,689 --> 01:37:03,330
All right, two can play
this Where's Waldo shit,

1240
01:37:38,686 --> 01:37:40,327
Johnny, you got to

1241
01:38:36,619 --> 01:38:39,460
Hi. How is he?

1242
01:38:39,790 --> 01:38:42,670
I don't know, Ms. Jackson.

1243
01:39:08,359 --> 01:39:09,920
Oh, my God, John!

1244
01:39:10,069 --> 01:39:11,990
Hello?

1245
01:39:13,698 --> 01:39:15,619
Something's wrong.
What's going on?

1246
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:20,355
We have a Code Blue
in Room 134!

1247
01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:21,774
I'm sorry.
You three are gonna

1248
01:39:21,832 --> 01:39:23,112
What the hell is going on?

1249
01:39:23,167 --> 01:39:24,207
The doctors will do

1250
01:39:24,292 --> 01:39:26,413
but I need you
to go to the

1251
01:39:28,838 --> 01:39:30,439
He was stable a minute ago

1252
01:39:30,506 --> 01:39:32,707
The monitor says he's
in asystole. He's not

1253
01:39:32,760 --> 01:39:34,360
Start compressions.

1254
01:39:34,470 --> 01:39:35,590
Give him a milligram

1255
01:41:09,939 --> 01:41:12,380
You were my thunder buddy

1256
01:41:14,694 --> 01:41:18,455
And you gave up your own life

1257
01:41:25,788 --> 01:41:29,069
I don't know how

1258
01:41:38,010 --> 01:41:39,930
I got you, motherfucker!

1259
01:41:41,179 --> 01:41:43,739
Holy shit! Zombie!

1260
01:41:48,185 --> 01:41:50,026
You should have seen

1261
01:41:53,190 --> 01:41:56,111
Wait, wait, wait. This is
payback because I made you

1262
01:41:56,194 --> 01:41:57,594
You made me think

1263
01:41:58,822 --> 01:42:00,582
Well done, man. High five.

1264
01:42:03,911 --> 01:42:08,111
What's going on, is this guy
just won the bullshit comedy

1265
01:42:08,165 --> 01:42:10,725
You are
the fucking greatest, man.

1266
01:42:11,167 --> 01:42:12,928
Wait. How was the doctor

1267
01:42:13,002 --> 01:42:15,123
They got me out of it
with the paddles.

1268
01:42:15,171 --> 01:42:16,572
So I talked him into

1269
01:42:16,631 --> 01:42:18,592
Hey, Doc, it worked out

1270
01:42:18,841 --> 01:42:20,842
No problem.

1271
01:42:21,135 --> 01:42:24,336
You asshole!

1272
01:42:24,555 --> 01:42:26,076
Do you know how devastated

1273
01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:27,821
I put a frowny face

1274
01:42:27,893 --> 01:42:30,333
How am I supposed to

1275
01:42:30,604 --> 01:42:32,644
You could change your
relationship status

1276
01:42:35,359 --> 01:42:37,479
You're gonna have to do
a lot better than that.

1277
01:42:38,403 --> 01:42:42,123
How about,
"in a relationship

1278
01:42:42,908 --> 01:42:46,548
Well, we'll have

1279
01:42:58,547 --> 01:42:59,908
Hey, if you guys

1280
01:42:59,966 --> 01:43:01,367
me and Teddy

1281
01:43:01,426 --> 01:43:03,706
No, no, honey, honey,
they're classy,

1282
01:43:05,639 --> 01:43:08,679
I'm happy to see everyone

1283
01:43:08,809 --> 01:43:09,929
Mr. Meighan.

1284
01:43:11,185 --> 01:43:12,506
Is it all right

1285
01:43:22,780 --> 01:43:24,901
Yeah, he saved my ass

1286
01:43:25,074 --> 01:43:27,875
You know why?

1287
01:43:29,412 --> 01:43:30,933
of you smart-ass
Harvard lawyers

1288
01:43:39,756 --> 01:43:42,316
And as soon as I'm done

1289
01:43:42,676 --> 01:43:44,676
I'd like to take

1290
01:43:44,927 --> 01:43:45,968
What?

1291
01:43:46,054 --> 01:43:47,694
Oh, my God!

1292
01:43:47,764 --> 01:43:49,644
Oh, my gosh!
I don't believe it!

1293
01:43:50,934 --> 01:43:52,574
Maybe we don't
want you now.

1294
01:43:52,644 --> 01:43:54,604
No, yeah, we want you.

1295
01:43:54,688 --> 01:43:56,568
What made you

1296
01:43:56,732 --> 01:43:58,852
Well, when I saw

1297
01:43:59,693 --> 01:44:02,453
that he was willing to

1298
01:44:04,948 --> 01:44:08,188
Reminded me
of why I chose to do

1299
01:44:15,583 --> 01:44:19,784
anyone who can inspire
that kind of love

1300
01:44:50,034 --> 01:44:54,355
The anthropologist
and ethicist

1301
01:44:54,706 --> 01:44:59,826
argues that
the standards for personhood

1302
01:45:00,503 --> 01:45:03,704
an ability to understand

1303
01:45:08,385 --> 01:45:13,386
We're all in agreement

1304
01:45:23,777 --> 01:45:27,257
As for complex emotions

1305
01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:30,269
we all saw

1306
01:45:30,324 --> 01:45:32,805
of Ted agonizing

1307
01:45:36,622 --> 01:45:41,703
Ted exhibits all of
the remaining qualities

1308
01:45:43,796 --> 01:45:46,197
It's right there

1309
01:45:47,384 --> 01:45:51,784
And I believe that
a just court must,

1310
01:45:52,596 --> 01:45:56,437
grant basic human rights

1311
01:45:57,726 --> 01:46:00,447
just as

1312
01:46:00,689 --> 01:46:04,249
and the Thirteenth
Amendment did

1313
01:46:06,819 --> 01:46:09,460
So, ladies and gentlemen

1314
01:46:36,725 --> 01:46:39,845
Well, Johnny,
this is the second time

1315
01:46:41,813 --> 01:46:43,693
Hey, you were

1316
01:46:51,448 --> 01:46:53,328
Ted!

1317
01:46:55,993 --> 01:46:57,794
This is quite a victory

1318
01:46:57,871 --> 01:46:59,991
ls there any statement

1319
01:47:00,040 --> 01:47:01,480
now that

1320
01:47:17,849 --> 01:47:20,649
_nd so

1321
01:47:20,976 --> 01:47:23,937
Ted and Tami-Lynn

1322
01:47:24,021 --> 01:47:28,742
7
an d soon afterward
they adopted a fine,

1323
01:47:28,984 --> 01:47:31,185
Johnny,

1324
01:47:33,155 --> 01:47:35,276
Oh, Teddy,

1325
01:47:35,408 --> 01:47:38,088
Oh! And we got
something for him, too.

1326
01:47:47,461 --> 01:47:50,302
Hey, you know,
maybe someday,

1327
01:47:51,966 --> 01:47:54,087
and you guys can do

1328
01:47:56,179 --> 01:48:00,099
Oh! It smells like
somebody's got

1329
01:48:00,266 --> 01:48:01,507
Teddy, it's your turn

1330
01:48:03,894 --> 01:48:06,375
T___. Oht fuck me!

1331
01:48:06,439 --> 01:48:08,239
T___. That can't be normal.

1332
01:48:08,315 --> 01:48:10,236
He's not sick,

1333
01:48:10,318 --> 01:48:11,598
Yeah, that's what

1334
01:48:11,694 --> 01:48:13,575
T_Q_. Oh, you don't think
this diaper's gross?

1335
01:48:13,697 --> 01:48:15,137
T___. All right.
Here, catch.

1336
01:48:15,198 --> 01:48:17,638
Oh, Teddy,

1337
01:48:17,742 --> 01:48:20,702
Holy shit!

1338
01:48:23,869 --> 01:48:33,869
Fixed & Synced by MoUsTaFa ZaKi