1 00:00:40,224 --> 00:00:43,686 Out west there was this fella, 2 00:00:43,769 --> 00:00:45,895 fella I want to tell you about, 3 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,190 fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski - 4 00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:52,694 at least that's the handle his parents gave him. 5 00:00:52,777 --> 00:00:56,239 But he never had much use for it himself. 6 00:00:56,322 --> 00:01:00,200 This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. 7 00:01:00,284 --> 00:01:04,705 Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply 8 00:01:04,788 --> 00:01:06,707 where I come from. 9 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:11,586 There was a lot about the Dude that didn't make sense to me, 10 00:01:11,669 --> 00:01:14,922 and a lot about where he lived, likewise. 11 00:01:16,591 --> 00:01:18,509 But then again, 12 00:01:18,593 --> 00:01:22,597 maybe that's why I found the place so darn interesting. 13 00:01:25,932 --> 00:01:30,437 They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. 14 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,690 I didn't find it to be that exactly. 15 00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:37,026 But there are some nice folks there. 16 00:01:37,109 --> 00:01:40,488 'Course I can't say I seen London, 17 00:01:40,571 --> 00:01:42,990 and I never been to France, 18 00:01:43,074 --> 00:01:46,994 and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies. 19 00:01:47,078 --> 00:01:50,080 But I'll tell you what, 20 00:01:50,163 --> 00:01:52,332 after seeing Los Angeles 21 00:01:52,415 --> 00:01:55,293 and this story I'm about to unfold, 22 00:01:55,377 --> 00:01:59,881 well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' 23 00:01:59,964 --> 00:02:02,759 as you'd see in any other places, 24 00:02:02,842 --> 00:02:05,052 and in English, too. 25 00:02:05,135 --> 00:02:07,971 So I can die with a smile on my face 26 00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:11,266 without feeling like the good Lord gypped me. 27 00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,019 Now, this story I'm about to unfold 28 00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:16,270 took place back in the early 90s, 29 00:02:16,354 --> 00:02:21,275 about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis. 30 00:02:21,359 --> 00:02:24,779 I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man - 31 00:02:24,862 --> 00:02:28,991 I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero? 32 00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:31,993 But sometimes there's a man - 33 00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:35,080 and I'm talking about the Dude here - 34 00:02:35,163 --> 00:02:37,708 sometimes there's a man... 35 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:42,546 Well, he's the man for his time and place. 36 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:44,797 He fits right in there, 37 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,508 and that's the Dude, 38 00:02:47,591 --> 00:02:49,552 in Los Angeles. 39 00:02:49,635 --> 00:02:52,471 And even if he's a lazy man, 40 00:02:52,555 --> 00:02:55,516 and the Dude was most certainly that, 41 00:02:55,599 --> 00:02:59,185 quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, 42 00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:01,187 which would place him high 43 00:03:01,271 --> 00:03:04,399 in the running for laziest worldwide. 44 00:03:04,482 --> 00:03:06,818 But sometimes there's a man, 45 00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:08,862 sometimes... 46 00:03:08,945 --> 00:03:11,030 there's a man... 47 00:03:11,113 --> 00:03:15,075 Wow, lost my train of thought here. 48 00:03:15,159 --> 00:03:18,287 But... ah, hell. 49 00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,205 I done introduced him enough. 50 00:03:20,289 --> 00:03:23,458 'This will not stand. 51 00:03:23,541 --> 00:03:27,378 'This will not stand, this aggression against Kuwait.' 52 00:03:57,365 --> 00:03:59,367 Where's the money, Lebowski? 53 00:04:01,077 --> 00:04:04,788 I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. 54 00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,499 Where's the money, Lebowski? 55 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:09,793 Where's the money, Lebowski? 56 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:12,170 Where's the fucking money, shithead? 57 00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:17,758 It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look. 58 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,761 Don't fuck with us! 59 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,224 Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn. 60 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,351 That means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn. 61 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,270 Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. 62 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,814 Don't do that... 63 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,276 - Not on the rug, man. - See? 64 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,488 See what happens, Lebowski? You see what happens? 65 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,615 Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong man. 66 00:04:43,699 --> 00:04:45,409 I'm the Dude, man. 67 00:04:45,492 --> 00:04:49,663 Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny. 68 00:04:50,706 --> 00:04:53,375 My... my wife... my wife, Bunny? 69 00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:55,626 Do you see a wedding ring? 70 00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:58,003 Does this place look like I'm married? 71 00:04:58,087 --> 00:05:00,464 The toilet seat's up, man. 72 00:05:07,846 --> 00:05:09,848 What the fuck is this? 73 00:05:09,931 --> 00:05:13,101 Obviously, you're not a golfer. 74 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,230 - Woo? - Yeah? 75 00:05:17,313 --> 00:05:20,775 Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire? 76 00:05:20,859 --> 00:05:22,609 Fuck! 77 00:05:23,527 --> 00:05:27,531 - Yeah, what do you think? - He looks like a fucking loser. 78 00:05:27,614 --> 00:05:30,492 Hey, at least I'm housebroken. 79 00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:34,495 Fucking time wasted. Thanks a lot, asshole. 80 00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:47,577 I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude. 81 00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:51,080 This was a valued rug. This was a... 82 00:07:51,164 --> 00:07:54,083 It really tied the room together. 83 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,294 So this was a valued... 84 00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,087 - What tied the room together? - My rug. 85 00:07:58,171 --> 00:08:00,088 - Were you listening, Donny? - What? 86 00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:02,632 Were you listening to the Dude's story? 87 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,092 I was bowling. 88 00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:08,221 You have no frame of reference, like a child who wanders in... 89 00:08:08,305 --> 00:08:10,140 Walter, what's the point? 90 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,309 There's no reason - here's my point, Dude - 91 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,769 - there's no reason... - Yeah, what's your point? 92 00:08:14,852 --> 00:08:17,146 - Huh? - Walter, what is the point... 93 00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:19,648 We know who is at fault here. 94 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:21,692 What the fuck are you talking about? 95 00:08:21,776 --> 00:08:24,528 No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... 96 00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:27,655 We're talking about unchecked aggression here. 97 00:08:27,739 --> 00:08:29,491 - What is he talking about? - My rug. 98 00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:32,035 Forget it, you're out of your element. 99 00:08:32,118 --> 00:08:35,955 The Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill. 100 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:38,750 So what the fuck are you talking about? 101 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,959 The Chinaman is not the issue here. 102 00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:44,088 I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand. 103 00:08:44,171 --> 00:08:46,465 Across this line, you do not... 104 00:08:46,548 --> 00:08:50,135 Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. 105 00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:52,178 "Asian-American," please. 106 00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:55,848 This isn't a guy who built the railroads here... 107 00:08:55,932 --> 00:08:58,434 - What the fuck... - He peed on my rug. 108 00:08:58,518 --> 00:09:02,313 - He peed on the Dude's rug. - You're out of your element! 109 00:09:02,397 --> 00:09:05,274 Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here. 110 00:09:05,358 --> 00:09:07,651 - So, who... who... - Jeff Lebowski. 111 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:11,446 The other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire. 112 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:14,366 That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting. 113 00:09:14,449 --> 00:09:17,577 Plus, he has the wealth and the resources... 114 00:09:17,661 --> 00:09:20,246 so there's no reason, no fucking reason 115 00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:22,957 why his wife should go out, owe money, 116 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,626 and then they pee on your fucking rug! 117 00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:27,461 - Am I wrong? - No. 118 00:09:27,545 --> 00:09:29,213 - Am I wrong? - But... 119 00:09:29,296 --> 00:09:31,132 OK, then. 120 00:09:31,215 --> 00:09:34,884 That rug really tied the room together, did it not? 121 00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:37,178 - Fuckin' A! - And he peed on it. 122 00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:38,847 Donny, please. 123 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,808 I could find this fucking Lebowski guy. 124 00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:45,060 His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude. 125 00:09:45,144 --> 00:09:48,647 He should compensate me for the fucking rug. 126 00:09:48,731 --> 00:09:52,443 His wife owes money, and they pee on my rug? 127 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:56,238 - They pee on your fucking rug. - They peed on my fucking rug. 128 00:09:56,322 --> 00:09:58,115 That's right, Dude. 129 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:01,409 They peed on your fucking rug. 130 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:06,289 This is the study. The various commendations... 131 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,458 Jeffrey Lebowski. 132 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,752 - Honorary degrees, etcetera. - Very impressive. 133 00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:14,338 Oh, please feel free to inspect them. 134 00:10:14,421 --> 00:10:17,841 - Oh, I'm not really that... - Oh, please, please. 135 00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:20,344 That is the key to the city of Pasadena, 136 00:10:20,427 --> 00:10:24,889 which Mr. Lebowski received in recognition of various civic... 137 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,807 Oh, that's the Los Angeles 138 00:10:26,891 --> 00:10:29,685 Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, 139 00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:32,355 which is... not necessarily given every year. 140 00:10:32,438 --> 00:10:35,900 Hey, is this, uh, is this him with Nancy? 141 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:40,111 Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski with the First Lady... 142 00:10:40,195 --> 00:10:42,781 That's Lebowski on the left there? 143 00:10:42,864 --> 00:10:45,492 Of course. Mr. Lebowski on the left... 144 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:48,662 He's a cripple... you know, a... handicapped guy? 145 00:10:48,745 --> 00:10:52,206 Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. This picture was taken 146 00:10:52,289 --> 00:10:55,292 when Mrs. Reagan was First Lady of the nation. 147 00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:58,337 - Yes, yes. Not of California. - Pope John. 148 00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,923 He met privately with the president, 149 00:11:01,006 --> 00:11:03,634 but there was no time for a photo opportunity. 150 00:11:03,717 --> 00:11:05,927 - Nancy's pretty good. - Wonderful woman! 151 00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:07,845 These are... 152 00:11:07,929 --> 00:11:11,140 Those are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak. 153 00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:13,351 Different mothers? Racially, pretty cool. 154 00:11:15,186 --> 00:11:17,813 They're not literally his children. 155 00:11:17,896 --> 00:11:20,232 They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, 156 00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:22,693 inner-city children of promise 157 00:11:22,776 --> 00:11:25,570 but without the means for a higher education. 158 00:11:25,654 --> 00:11:28,490 Mr. Lebowski is committed to sending them to college. 159 00:11:28,573 --> 00:11:31,158 Excuse me. Thank you, thank you. 160 00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:34,203 Far out. Think he's got room for one more? 161 00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:36,580 One, uh... Oh! 162 00:11:37,623 --> 00:11:41,085 You never went to college. Please, don't touch that. 163 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:44,087 Yeah, I did, but I spent most of my time... 164 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,215 occupying various administration buildings, 165 00:11:47,298 --> 00:11:49,300 smoking a lot of Thai stick, 166 00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:52,012 breaking into the R.O.T.C. And bowling. 167 00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:54,556 To tell you the truth, I don't remember much. 168 00:12:00,144 --> 00:12:03,439 OK, sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, 169 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,441 that's terrific. 170 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:08,569 But I'm very busy, as I imagine you are. 171 00:12:08,652 --> 00:12:11,029 What can I do for you, sir? 172 00:12:11,112 --> 00:12:14,657 Well, sir, it's this rug I have, 173 00:12:14,741 --> 00:12:17,618 it really tied the room together... 174 00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:21,539 You told Brandt, he told me. Where do I fit in? 175 00:12:21,622 --> 00:12:24,875 Well, they were looking for you, these guys. 176 00:12:24,958 --> 00:12:27,002 I'll say it again. 177 00:12:27,085 --> 00:12:30,255 You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. 178 00:12:30,339 --> 00:12:32,174 I know what happened. Yes? 179 00:12:32,257 --> 00:12:35,802 So you know that they were trying to piss on your rug? 180 00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:38,304 Did I urinate on your rug? 181 00:12:38,387 --> 00:12:40,973 Did you personally come and pee on my rug? 182 00:12:41,057 --> 00:12:44,310 Hello! Do you speak English? Parla usted ingles? 183 00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:47,438 I'll ask you again. Did I urinate on your rug? 184 00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:50,607 No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug. 185 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,859 I want to understand this, sir. 186 00:12:52,942 --> 00:12:56,655 Every time a rug is micturated upon in this city, 187 00:12:56,738 --> 00:12:58,365 I have to compensate... 188 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:02,285 Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here. 189 00:13:02,369 --> 00:13:04,161 I... I was just... 190 00:13:04,244 --> 00:13:07,706 You're just looking for a handout like every other... 191 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:10,584 Are you employed, Mr. Lebowski? 192 00:13:10,668 --> 00:13:14,296 Wait, let me explain something to you. 193 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:17,840 I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. 194 00:13:17,924 --> 00:13:20,885 I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me, 195 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:24,389 you know, uh, that or, uh, his Dudeness, 196 00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:27,433 or Duder, or, you know, uh, el Duderino, 197 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:30,644 if you're not into the whole brevity thing. 198 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,231 - Are you employed, sir? - Employed? 199 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:39,611 You don't look for a job dressed like that on a weekday? 200 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:42,738 Is this a... What day is this? 201 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,367 Well, I do work, sir. So if you don't mind... 202 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,786 No, I do mind. The Dude minds. 203 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,913 This will not stand, you know. 204 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,125 This aggression will not stand, man. 205 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:58,169 - I mean, your wife owes... - My wife is not the issue! 206 00:13:58,253 --> 00:14:02,340 I hope that my wife will learn to live on her ample allowance. 207 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:05,719 If not, that's her problem, not mine, 208 00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:07,804 just as the rug is your problem, 209 00:14:07,887 --> 00:14:12,391 just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, 210 00:14:12,474 --> 00:14:14,852 regardless of who he chooses to blame. 211 00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:18,063 I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. 212 00:14:18,147 --> 00:14:20,983 Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. 213 00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:24,193 But I went out and achieved anyway. 214 00:14:24,277 --> 00:14:28,156 I cannot solve your problems, sir, only you can. 215 00:14:29,824 --> 00:14:32,285 - Oh, fuck it. - "Oh, fuck it." 216 00:14:32,368 --> 00:14:35,079 Yes, that's your answer to everything. 217 00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:36,621 Tattoo it on your forehead. 218 00:14:36,705 --> 00:14:40,000 Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! 219 00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,711 Condolences! The bums lost! 220 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:46,465 My advice to you is to do what your parents did! 221 00:14:46,548 --> 00:14:48,342 Get a job, sir! 222 00:14:48,425 --> 00:14:52,595 The bums will always lose! Do you hear me, Lebowski? 223 00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:54,180 The bums... 224 00:14:56,182 --> 00:14:58,559 How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski? 225 00:14:58,643 --> 00:15:03,146 OK. The old man told me to take any rug in the house. 226 00:15:03,229 --> 00:15:07,400 Well, enjoy, and perhaps we'll see you again, Dude. 227 00:15:07,484 --> 00:15:11,404 Sure, if I'm in the neighborhood, you know, 228 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:13,365 and, um... 229 00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:15,783 I need to use the john. 230 00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:28,753 Blow on them. 231 00:15:28,836 --> 00:15:31,214 Go ahead, blow. 232 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:36,094 You want me to blow on your toes? 233 00:15:36,177 --> 00:15:39,430 Uh-huh. I can't blow that far. 234 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,938 Are you sure he won't mind? 235 00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:51,817 He doesn't care about anything. He's a nihilist. 236 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:54,486 Oh, that must be exhausting. 237 00:15:54,568 --> 00:15:56,362 You're not blowing. 238 00:15:56,445 --> 00:15:59,407 He has to be getting along, Mrs. Lebowski. 239 00:15:59,490 --> 00:16:01,659 Oh, you're Bunny. 240 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,413 I'll suck your cock for $1,000. 241 00:16:09,624 --> 00:16:11,293 Wonderful woman. 242 00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:14,045 We're very fond of her. Very free-spirited. 243 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:16,798 Brandt can't watch, or he has to pay 100. 244 00:16:17,716 --> 00:16:19,384 That's marvellous. 245 00:16:21,510 --> 00:16:25,306 I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. 246 00:16:28,976 --> 00:16:31,687 Whoo! Slamming them tonight! 247 00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:33,939 You guys are dead in the water. 248 00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:36,816 All right! Way to go, Donny! 249 00:16:36,899 --> 00:16:40,611 If you will it, it is no dream. 250 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,823 You're 20 minutes late, man. What the fuck is that? 251 00:16:43,906 --> 00:16:45,825 Theodore Herzel. 252 00:16:45,908 --> 00:16:49,995 The state of Israel. If you will it, Dude, it is no dream. 253 00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:53,832 The carrier. What's in the fucking carrier? 254 00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:57,502 Oh, Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. 255 00:16:57,586 --> 00:16:59,755 I can't leave him, he eats the furniture. 256 00:16:59,838 --> 00:17:02,381 I'm watching it while they're in Hawaii. 257 00:17:02,465 --> 00:17:05,885 - You brought it bowling? - "Brought it bowling"? 258 00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:09,138 I didn't rent it shoes, I'm not buying it a beer, 259 00:17:09,221 --> 00:17:11,349 he's not taking your turn, Dude. 260 00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:14,809 If my ex-wife asked me to take care of her dog 261 00:17:14,893 --> 00:17:17,604 while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, 262 00:17:17,687 --> 00:17:19,439 I'd tell her to fuck herself. 263 00:17:19,522 --> 00:17:21,566 Dude, you don't have an ex, 264 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:24,694 and this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers. 265 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:29,365 You can't board it. It gets upset. Its hair falls out. 266 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,492 Over the line! 267 00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:35,037 Sorry, you were over the line. That's a foul. 268 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,122 Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude. 269 00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:40,084 Excuse me, mark it zero. Next frame. 270 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:42,418 Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude. 271 00:17:42,502 --> 00:17:45,797 This is not 'Nam, this is bowling. There are rules. 272 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,216 Hey, Walter, come on, it's Smokey. 273 00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:51,469 His toe slipped over. It's just a game. 274 00:17:51,552 --> 00:17:55,138 It determines who enters the round-robin. Am I wrong? 275 00:17:55,222 --> 00:17:57,015 - Yeah, but... - Am I wrong? 276 00:17:57,099 --> 00:17:59,059 Yeah, but I wasn't over. 277 00:17:59,142 --> 00:18:01,853 Give me the marker, Dude. I'm marking an 8. 278 00:18:01,937 --> 00:18:05,565 Smokey, my friend, you're entering a world of pain. 279 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,150 - Walter... - You mark that frame an 8, 280 00:18:08,234 --> 00:18:11,153 you're entering a world of pain. 281 00:18:11,237 --> 00:18:14,031 - I'm not... - A world of pain. 282 00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:16,534 Look, Dude, this is your partner. 283 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,411 Has the world gone crazy? 284 00:18:18,494 --> 00:18:21,288 Am I the only one who cares about the rules? 285 00:18:21,371 --> 00:18:22,747 Mark it zero! 286 00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:25,959 - They're calling the cops. - Mark it zero! 287 00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:28,753 - Put the piece away. - Walter... 288 00:18:28,837 --> 00:18:31,464 You think I'm fucking around? Mark it zero! 289 00:18:38,429 --> 00:18:40,472 All right, it's fucking zero. 290 00:18:40,556 --> 00:18:43,892 You happy, you crazy fuck? 291 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:47,645 It's a league game, Smoke. 292 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:51,858 You can't do that, man. 293 00:18:51,941 --> 00:18:54,319 These guys are like me. They're pacifists. 294 00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:56,446 Smokey was a conscientious objector. 295 00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:59,282 I myself dabbled in pacifism, 296 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,450 not in 'Nam, of course. 297 00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:04,119 You know he's got emotional problems. 298 00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,538 You mean, beyond pacifism? 299 00:19:06,622 --> 00:19:10,125 He's fragile, very fragile. 300 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,961 I did not know that. 301 00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:17,214 Well, it's all water under the bridge, 302 00:19:17,298 --> 00:19:19,925 and we do enter the next round-robin. 303 00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:22,511 - Am I wrong? - No, you're not wrong. 304 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,847 - Am I wrong? - No, you're just an asshole! 305 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:29,559 OK. We play Quintana and O'Brien next week. 306 00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:32,354 They should be pushovers. 307 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,940 Man, will you just... 308 00:19:35,023 --> 00:19:37,275 Just take it easy, man. 309 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,693 That's your answer for everything, Dude. 310 00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:44,865 Look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq. 311 00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:47,284 Pacifism is not something to hide behind. 312 00:19:47,368 --> 00:19:49,578 Just take it easy, man. 313 00:19:49,662 --> 00:19:51,622 I'm perfectly calm, Dude. 314 00:19:51,705 --> 00:19:55,208 - Waving the fucking gun around? - Calmer than you are. 315 00:19:55,291 --> 00:19:57,001 Just take it easy! 316 00:19:58,002 --> 00:20:00,046 Calmer than you are. 317 00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:06,176 'Dude, this is Smokey. 318 00:20:06,259 --> 00:20:08,345 'I don't want to be a hard-on about this. 319 00:20:08,428 --> 00:20:10,389 'I know it wasn't your fault, 320 00:20:10,472 --> 00:20:13,892 'but Gilbert and I will submit this to the league 321 00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:16,603 'and ask them to set aside the round, 322 00:20:16,687 --> 00:20:18,729 'maybe forfeit it to us. 323 00:20:18,813 --> 00:20:21,649 'So, like I say, you know, fair warning. 324 00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:23,776 'Tell Walter. I'm sorry.' 325 00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:29,573 'Mr. Lebowski, this is Brandt at, uh, 326 00:20:29,657 --> 00:20:32,200 'well, at Mr. Lebowski's office. 327 00:20:32,284 --> 00:20:34,661 'Please, call us when it's convenient.' 328 00:20:36,746 --> 00:20:40,333 'This is Bill Selliger of the Southern Cal Bowling League. 329 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,502 'I just got an informal report 330 00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:46,130 'that a member of your team, a Walter Sobchak, 331 00:20:46,213 --> 00:20:48,924 'drew a firearm during play. 332 00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:53,012 'This contravenes a number of by-laws and article 27...' 333 00:20:54,263 --> 00:20:56,765 - Dude. - Hey, Monty. 334 00:20:56,849 --> 00:21:01,144 Dude, I... I finally got... the venue I wanted. 335 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,814 I'm performing my dance quintet, you know, my cycle, 336 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,109 at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theater on Tuesday night. 337 00:21:08,192 --> 00:21:12,487 And, well, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. 338 00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,489 I'll be there, man. 339 00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:20,370 Tomorrow's already the 10th. 340 00:21:20,454 --> 00:21:22,331 Far out. 341 00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:27,585 Oh. Oh, all right, OK. 342 00:21:27,668 --> 00:21:30,296 Just slip the rent under my door. 343 00:21:33,424 --> 00:21:35,051 '... serious infraction 344 00:21:35,134 --> 00:21:37,802 'and examine your standing. Thank you.' 345 00:21:39,679 --> 00:21:42,349 'Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again. 346 00:21:42,432 --> 00:21:45,644 'Please, call when you get in, and I'll send a limo. 347 00:21:45,727 --> 00:21:49,606 'I hope you're not avoiding this call because of the rug, 348 00:21:49,689 --> 00:21:52,566 'which, I assure you, is not a problem. 349 00:21:52,650 --> 00:21:54,735 'We need your help, and, uh... 350 00:21:54,818 --> 00:21:57,112 'well, we'd like to see you. 351 00:21:57,196 --> 00:21:58,989 'Thank you. It's Brandt.' 352 00:22:00,407 --> 00:22:03,953 We've had terrible news. Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion. 353 00:22:08,081 --> 00:22:10,708 Mr. Lebowski. 354 00:22:16,047 --> 00:22:18,590 Funny... 355 00:22:19,174 --> 00:22:22,761 I can look back on a life of achievement, 356 00:22:22,844 --> 00:22:25,097 challenges met, 357 00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:27,140 competitors bested, 358 00:22:27,224 --> 00:22:29,977 obstacles overcome. 359 00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:34,647 I've accomplished more than most men 360 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:37,316 and without the use of my legs. 361 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,986 What... 362 00:22:40,069 --> 00:22:43,656 What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? 363 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,075 Dude. 364 00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:51,621 I... I don't know, sir. 365 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:54,874 Is it being prepared to do the right thing? 366 00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:58,836 Whatever the cost? 367 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,755 Isn't that what makes a man? 368 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,924 Sure, that and a pair of testicles. 369 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,386 You're joking. But... 370 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:11,264 Perhaps you're right. 371 00:23:11,347 --> 00:23:13,850 You mind if I do a "J"? 372 00:23:15,018 --> 00:23:16,352 Bunny... 373 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,939 Excuse me? 374 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,567 Bunny Lebowski, 375 00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:25,569 she is the light of my life. 376 00:23:25,652 --> 00:23:28,780 Are you surprised at my tears, sir? 377 00:23:30,490 --> 00:23:32,701 Fuckin' A. 378 00:23:32,784 --> 00:23:36,038 Strong men also cry. 379 00:23:36,537 --> 00:23:40,291 Strong men also cry. 380 00:23:42,543 --> 00:23:45,755 I received this fax this morning. 381 00:23:48,215 --> 00:23:50,425 As you can see, 382 00:23:50,508 --> 00:23:52,552 it is a ransom note. 383 00:23:52,636 --> 00:23:55,513 "We have Bunnie." 384 00:23:55,597 --> 00:24:00,101 Sent by men who can't achieve on a level field of play. 385 00:24:00,185 --> 00:24:02,895 "Gather one million dollars 386 00:24:02,978 --> 00:24:06,023 in unmarked, non-consecutive twenties." 387 00:24:06,106 --> 00:24:09,026 - Weaklings! - "Await instructions." 388 00:24:09,109 --> 00:24:10,903 - Bums! - "No funny stuff." 389 00:24:10,986 --> 00:24:14,490 - Bummer. - Huh? 390 00:24:14,573 --> 00:24:16,532 This is a bummer, man. 391 00:24:16,616 --> 00:24:18,493 That's, uh, that's a bummer. 392 00:24:18,576 --> 00:24:22,330 Brandt will fill you in on the details. 393 00:24:36,385 --> 00:24:39,721 Mr. Lebowski will make you a generous offer 394 00:24:39,805 --> 00:24:43,849 to act as courier once we get instructions for the money. 395 00:24:43,933 --> 00:24:45,393 Why me, man? 396 00:24:45,476 --> 00:24:48,562 He believes the culprits might be the people 397 00:24:48,646 --> 00:24:51,148 who, uh... soiled your rug, 398 00:24:51,232 --> 00:24:55,819 and you're in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm this. 399 00:24:55,902 --> 00:24:58,196 He thinks the carpet-pissers did this? 400 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,824 Well, Dude, we just don't know. 401 00:26:37,038 --> 00:26:39,290 Fucking Quintana. 402 00:26:39,374 --> 00:26:41,792 That creep can roll, man. 403 00:26:41,875 --> 00:26:43,919 Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. 404 00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:45,754 Yeah. 405 00:26:45,837 --> 00:26:48,840 No. He's a sex offender with a record. 406 00:26:48,924 --> 00:26:52,511 He did six months for exposing himself to an 8-year-old. 407 00:26:52,594 --> 00:26:55,721 When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door 408 00:26:55,805 --> 00:26:57,598 to tell everyone he was a pederast. 409 00:26:57,682 --> 00:27:00,059 What's a pederast, Walter? 410 00:27:00,142 --> 00:27:02,603 Shut the fuck up, Donny. 411 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:08,275 - So... How much they give you? - 20 grand, man. 412 00:27:08,358 --> 00:27:12,112 - And I get to keep the rug. - Just for making a hand-off? 413 00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:14,406 Yeah. They gave Dude a beeper. 414 00:27:14,489 --> 00:27:18,285 - So whenever they call... - What if it's during a game? 415 00:27:18,368 --> 00:27:22,288 - If it's during league play... - What's during league play? 416 00:27:22,371 --> 00:27:25,416 Life doesn't stop and start at your convenience, 417 00:27:25,499 --> 00:27:28,627 - you piece of shit. - What's wrong with Walter? 418 00:27:28,711 --> 00:27:31,380 I figure it's easy money. It's harmless. 419 00:27:31,463 --> 00:27:35,049 - She probably did it herself. - What do you mean, Dude? 420 00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:37,844 Rug pee-ers didn't do this. Look at it. 421 00:27:37,927 --> 00:27:41,889 A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. 422 00:27:41,973 --> 00:27:44,392 She figures he isn't giving her enough. 423 00:27:44,475 --> 00:27:46,436 You know, she owes money. 424 00:27:46,519 --> 00:27:50,272 - That fuckin'... bitch. - It's all goddamn fake, man. 425 00:27:50,355 --> 00:27:52,524 It's like Lenin said. 426 00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:55,694 You look for the person who will benefit, 427 00:27:55,777 --> 00:27:58,947 - and, uh, you know... - I am the walrus? 428 00:27:59,031 --> 00:28:01,407 You know, you'll, uh... 429 00:28:01,490 --> 00:28:04,118 - You know what I'm saying. - I am the walrus. 430 00:28:04,201 --> 00:28:06,037 That fuckin' bitch! 431 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,956 - I am the walrus. - Shut the fuck up, Donny! 432 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,584 V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! 433 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:13,960 What the fuck is he talking about? 434 00:28:14,044 --> 00:28:17,088 Fucking exactly what happened. That makes me sick. 435 00:28:17,172 --> 00:28:19,883 - What do you care, Walter? - Those rich fucks. 436 00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:21,801 This whole fuckin' thing. 437 00:28:21,885 --> 00:28:24,888 I didn't watch my buddies die face-down in the mud 438 00:28:24,971 --> 00:28:28,057 so that this fucking strumpet, this fucking whore... 439 00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,601 I don't see any connection with Vietnam. 440 00:28:30,684 --> 00:28:32,186 No literal connection. 441 00:28:32,269 --> 00:28:35,231 Face it, there's no connection. Your roll. 442 00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:38,150 - But my point is... - Your roll. 443 00:28:38,234 --> 00:28:40,235 Are you ready to be fucked? 444 00:28:41,194 --> 00:28:44,781 I see you roll your way into the semis. 445 00:28:44,864 --> 00:28:47,533 Dios mio, man. 446 00:28:47,617 --> 00:28:50,703 Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. 447 00:28:50,787 --> 00:28:55,165 Yeah? Well... you know, that's just like, uh... 448 00:28:55,249 --> 00:28:57,209 your opinion, man. 449 00:28:58,085 --> 00:29:00,879 Let me tell you something, pendejo, 450 00:29:00,963 --> 00:29:04,007 you pull any crazy shit with us, 451 00:29:04,091 --> 00:29:06,468 you flash a piece out on the lanes, 452 00:29:06,550 --> 00:29:09,637 I'll take it and stick it up your ass 453 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,890 and pull the fuckin' trigger till it goes click. 454 00:29:13,641 --> 00:29:17,603 - Jesus. - You said it, man. 455 00:29:17,687 --> 00:29:20,814 Nobody fucks with the Jesus. 456 00:29:25,694 --> 00:29:27,779 8-year-olds, Dude. 457 00:31:18,965 --> 00:31:21,717 Oh, man. 458 00:31:31,810 --> 00:31:33,687 They called 80 minutes ago. 459 00:31:33,770 --> 00:31:36,565 Take the money, drive north on the 405. 460 00:31:36,648 --> 00:31:39,818 They will call you with instructions in 40 minutes. 461 00:31:39,901 --> 00:31:43,905 One person only. They were clear on that, or I'd go with you. 462 00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:46,740 - What happened to your jaw? - Oh, nothin'. 463 00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:51,996 Here's the money. And the phone. 464 00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:54,790 Please, Dude, follow their instructions. 465 00:31:54,873 --> 00:31:56,333 All right. 466 00:31:56,417 --> 00:32:00,003 - Her life is in your hands. - Oh, man, don't say that. 467 00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:02,088 Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that. 468 00:32:02,171 --> 00:32:04,507 - Her life is in your hands. - Shit, man. 469 00:32:04,591 --> 00:32:06,426 Her life is in your hands, Dude. 470 00:32:06,509 --> 00:32:09,470 Report back to us as soon as it's done. 471 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:20,188 Where the fuck are you goin'? 472 00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,232 Take the ringer. I'll drive. 473 00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:24,984 - What? The what? - The ringer. 474 00:32:25,067 --> 00:32:27,028 The ringer, Dude. 475 00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:36,662 - What the... - Have they called? 476 00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,873 - What the hell is this? - My dirty undies, Dude. 477 00:32:39,956 --> 00:32:42,542 Laundry. The whites. 478 00:32:42,626 --> 00:32:46,379 I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies. 479 00:32:46,463 --> 00:32:48,632 The weight. The ringer cannot look empty. 480 00:32:48,715 --> 00:32:50,550 What the fuck are you thinking? 481 00:32:50,634 --> 00:32:53,010 You're right, Dude. I got to thinking, 482 00:32:53,093 --> 00:32:55,930 why should we settle for a measly fuckin' 20 grand... 483 00:32:56,013 --> 00:32:58,849 We? You said you just wanted to come along. 484 00:32:58,933 --> 00:33:01,352 Why should we settle for 20 grand 485 00:33:01,435 --> 00:33:04,103 when we can keep the entire million? Am I wrong? 486 00:33:04,187 --> 00:33:07,023 Yes, you're wrong. This isn't a game, man. 487 00:33:07,106 --> 00:33:09,442 It is a game. You said so yourself. 488 00:33:09,525 --> 00:33:12,195 - She kidnapped herself. - I said I thought... 489 00:33:18,075 --> 00:33:19,117 Dude here. 490 00:33:19,201 --> 00:33:21,328 'Who is this?' 491 00:33:21,411 --> 00:33:25,040 Dude the bagman. Where do you want us to go? 492 00:33:25,123 --> 00:33:28,001 - 'Us?' - Shit! 493 00:33:30,045 --> 00:33:33,589 Yeah, you know, me and the driver. 494 00:33:33,673 --> 00:33:37,009 I'm not handling the money, driving the car... 495 00:33:37,093 --> 00:33:40,054 - 'Shut the fuck up!' - Are you fucking this up? 496 00:33:40,137 --> 00:33:42,223 Who is that? 497 00:33:42,306 --> 00:33:44,849 That is the driver. I told you... 498 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,062 - Shit! - What the fuck's goin' on? 499 00:33:49,145 --> 00:33:51,314 - Walter! - What the fuck is goin' on? 500 00:33:51,398 --> 00:33:54,734 He hung up! You fucked it up! You fucked it up! 501 00:33:54,818 --> 00:33:57,653 - Her life was in our hands. - Easy, Dude. 502 00:33:57,736 --> 00:34:00,114 We're screwed now. We don't get shit. 503 00:34:00,197 --> 00:34:03,158 They're gonna kill her. We're fucked, Walter. 504 00:34:03,242 --> 00:34:06,662 Nothing is fucked, Dude. You're being very unDude. 505 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:09,081 They'll call back. She kidnapped... 506 00:34:10,790 --> 00:34:14,127 You see? Nothing's fucked here, Dude. 507 00:34:14,210 --> 00:34:16,629 They're a bunch of fuckin' amateurs! 508 00:34:16,713 --> 00:34:19,090 Hey, will you shut the fuck up? 509 00:34:19,173 --> 00:34:22,093 Don't say peep while I'm doin' business here. 510 00:34:22,176 --> 00:34:24,511 OK, Dude, have it your way. 511 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:28,265 - But they're amateurs. - Fuck. 512 00:34:29,558 --> 00:34:31,476 - Dude. - 'OK, we proceed, 513 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,729 'but only if there's no funny stuff.' 514 00:34:33,812 --> 00:34:35,689 Yeah, yeah. 515 00:34:35,772 --> 00:34:37,815 'So no funny stuff, OK?' 516 00:34:37,899 --> 00:34:40,568 Just tell me where the fuck to go. 517 00:34:44,322 --> 00:34:46,866 That was the sign, man. 518 00:34:46,949 --> 00:34:50,160 So all we gotta do is get her back. 519 00:34:50,243 --> 00:34:53,496 No one can complain, and we keep the baksheesh. 520 00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:55,207 Terrific, Walter, 521 00:34:55,290 --> 00:34:57,834 but how are we gonna get her back? 522 00:34:57,918 --> 00:34:59,920 That's the simple part, Dude. 523 00:35:00,003 --> 00:35:03,797 We make the hand-off, I grab one, beat it out of him. 524 00:35:03,881 --> 00:35:07,176 - Huh? - Yeah. That's a great plan. 525 00:35:07,259 --> 00:35:10,679 That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. 526 00:35:10,763 --> 00:35:12,806 It's a Swiss fuckin' watch. 527 00:35:12,890 --> 00:35:15,768 Yeah, the beauty of this is its simplicity. 528 00:35:15,851 --> 00:35:18,519 If it gets complex, everything can go wrong. 529 00:35:18,603 --> 00:35:20,688 If I learned one thing in 'Nam, it's... 530 00:35:24,484 --> 00:35:27,070 - Dude. - 'You're coming to a bridge. 531 00:35:27,153 --> 00:35:29,072 'When you cross the bridge, 532 00:35:29,155 --> 00:35:33,534 'you throw the bag from the left window. You're being watched.' 533 00:35:33,617 --> 00:35:35,160 Fuck! 534 00:35:35,244 --> 00:35:37,204 What'd he say? Where's the hand-off? 535 00:35:37,287 --> 00:35:40,749 There isn't one, we throw the money out of the car. 536 00:35:40,832 --> 00:35:44,377 We throw the money out of the moving car! 537 00:35:44,460 --> 00:35:47,838 We can't do that. That fucks up our plan. 538 00:35:47,922 --> 00:35:50,091 Call 'em and explain it to them. 539 00:35:50,174 --> 00:35:54,428 You're plan is so simple I'm sure they'll understand. 540 00:35:54,512 --> 00:35:58,265 I'm throwin' the money, Walter. We're not fuckin' around. 541 00:35:58,348 --> 00:36:00,642 Bridge is comin' up. Give me the ringer. 542 00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:04,229 Fuck that. I love ya, but you have to face the fact 543 00:36:04,312 --> 00:36:07,023 - you're a goddamn moron. - No time to argue. 544 00:36:07,107 --> 00:36:08,775 - Hey, man. - The bridge. 545 00:36:08,858 --> 00:36:11,318 Hey, Walter! Hey! Walter! 546 00:36:11,402 --> 00:36:13,612 There goes the ringer! 547 00:36:14,363 --> 00:36:16,448 - What the fuck? - Here, your wheel. 548 00:36:16,532 --> 00:36:20,536 At 15 mph, I roll out, grab one and beat it out of him. 549 00:36:20,619 --> 00:36:22,453 - The Uzi. - Uzi? 550 00:36:22,537 --> 00:36:24,873 - I'm not rolling out naked. - Walter, please! 551 00:36:24,956 --> 00:36:26,833 15, Dude. This is it. 552 00:36:49,270 --> 00:36:52,648 We have it! We have it! 553 00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:56,819 We have it! 554 00:36:56,903 --> 00:36:59,030 We... have it! 555 00:37:12,417 --> 00:37:14,711 Aw, fuck it, Dude. 556 00:37:14,794 --> 00:37:16,879 Let's go bowling. 557 00:37:54,872 --> 00:37:58,084 Etz chaim he, Dude, as the ex used to say. 558 00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:00,211 What the fuck does that mean? 559 00:38:00,294 --> 00:38:02,797 What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski? 560 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,799 Huh? Oh, him. Uh... 561 00:38:07,009 --> 00:38:09,344 Well, what exactly is the problem? 562 00:38:09,427 --> 00:38:11,471 The problem is... 563 00:38:11,555 --> 00:38:13,849 What do you mean, what's the... 564 00:38:13,932 --> 00:38:16,142 There was no... 565 00:38:16,226 --> 00:38:18,770 We... we didn't, uh... 566 00:38:18,854 --> 00:38:21,689 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 567 00:38:21,772 --> 00:38:23,899 The poor woman... 568 00:38:23,983 --> 00:38:27,611 That poor slut kidnapped herself. You said so yourself. 569 00:38:27,695 --> 00:38:30,281 I said I thought she kidnapped herself. 570 00:38:30,364 --> 00:38:33,742 - You're the one who's certain. - 100% certain. 571 00:38:33,826 --> 00:38:36,536 - They posted the next round. - Shut the fuck... 572 00:38:36,619 --> 00:38:39,205 - When do we play? - This Saturday. 573 00:38:39,289 --> 00:38:41,374 Saturday? They have to reschedule. 574 00:38:41,457 --> 00:38:43,126 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? 575 00:38:43,209 --> 00:38:45,712 I told that fuck at the league office... 576 00:38:45,795 --> 00:38:48,463 - Who's in charge of scheduling? - Burkhalter. 577 00:38:48,547 --> 00:38:51,592 I told that kraut I don't roll on Shabbos. 578 00:38:51,675 --> 00:38:54,636 - He already posted it. - He can fuckin' unpost it! 579 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:58,056 Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that woman. 580 00:38:58,140 --> 00:39:00,225 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? 581 00:39:00,309 --> 00:39:03,102 She'll get tired of her game and go back. 582 00:39:03,186 --> 00:39:05,688 - Why not on Saturday? - I'm Shomer Shabbos. 583 00:39:05,771 --> 00:39:07,481 What's that? 584 00:39:07,565 --> 00:39:09,525 What do I tell Lebowski? 585 00:39:09,609 --> 00:39:12,320 Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. 586 00:39:12,403 --> 00:39:15,071 I don't work, I don't drive a car, 587 00:39:15,155 --> 00:39:17,824 I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, 588 00:39:17,908 --> 00:39:20,076 and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! 589 00:39:20,202 --> 00:39:21,953 Sheesh. 590 00:39:22,037 --> 00:39:24,247 Shomer Shabbos! 591 00:39:25,373 --> 00:39:28,417 - Walter, how am I gonna... - Shomer fucking Shabbos. 592 00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:32,046 - That's it! I'm outta here. - Come on, Dude. 593 00:39:34,173 --> 00:39:35,966 Dude! Dude! 594 00:39:36,050 --> 00:39:38,135 Look, you just tell him... 595 00:39:38,219 --> 00:39:41,387 Tell him we made the drop and everything went... 596 00:39:41,471 --> 00:39:44,098 - How'd it go? - Went all right. 597 00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,519 Walter, we didn't make the fuckin' hand-off. 598 00:39:47,602 --> 00:39:50,688 They didn't get the fuckin' money! They're gonna... 599 00:39:50,772 --> 00:39:55,442 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 600 00:39:55,526 --> 00:39:58,487 If you can't go by car, how do you get around on Shammos? 601 00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,447 Really, Dude, you surprise me. 602 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:03,784 They're not gonna do shit. What can they do to her? 603 00:40:03,867 --> 00:40:05,244 They're amateurs, and meanwhile, 604 00:40:05,327 --> 00:40:09,247 who's sittin' on a million fucking dollars? Am I wrong? 605 00:40:09,997 --> 00:40:13,251 Who's got a million fuckin' dollars in our car? 606 00:40:13,334 --> 00:40:15,002 Our car, Walter? 607 00:40:15,086 --> 00:40:18,840 What do they got? My dirty undies. My fuckin' whites. 608 00:40:23,301 --> 00:40:25,554 Say, Dude... 609 00:40:25,637 --> 00:40:28,557 where is your car? 610 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,392 Who's got your undies? 611 00:40:30,475 --> 00:40:33,227 - Where's your car, Dude? - You don't know? 612 00:40:33,310 --> 00:40:37,523 It was parked in a handicap zone. Perhaps they towed it. 613 00:40:38,691 --> 00:40:41,527 You fuckin' know it's been stolen. 614 00:40:41,610 --> 00:40:45,531 Well, certainly, that's a possibility, Dude. 615 00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:48,408 Oh, fuck it. 616 00:40:49,742 --> 00:40:53,371 - Where you goin', Dude? - I'm going home, Donny. 617 00:40:53,454 --> 00:40:56,666 - Phone's ringing, Dude. - Thank you, Donny. 618 00:41:09,887 --> 00:41:12,014 Uh... yeah... 619 00:41:14,557 --> 00:41:18,519 Green... uh, some brown or... 620 00:41:18,603 --> 00:41:20,980 rust coloration. 621 00:41:21,063 --> 00:41:24,066 Was there anything of value in the car? 622 00:41:24,150 --> 00:41:26,943 Oh. Uh, yeah... 623 00:41:27,027 --> 00:41:30,322 a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, 624 00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:32,741 and there was a... uh... 625 00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:36,495 My briefcase. 626 00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:39,371 In the briefcase? 627 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,709 Uh, papers. 628 00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:45,878 You know, just papers. 629 00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:49,298 You know, my papers. Business papers. 630 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,176 And what do you do, sir? 631 00:41:53,259 --> 00:41:55,136 I'm unemployed. 632 00:41:57,931 --> 00:42:01,142 My rug was also stolen. 633 00:42:01,226 --> 00:42:03,520 Your rug was in the car? 634 00:42:03,603 --> 00:42:05,521 No, here. 635 00:42:05,604 --> 00:42:07,940 Separate incidents? 636 00:42:08,857 --> 00:42:11,610 'The Dude is not in...' 637 00:42:11,693 --> 00:42:14,905 Do you find them much, these stolen cars? 638 00:42:14,988 --> 00:42:17,699 Sometimes. 639 00:42:17,783 --> 00:42:21,619 - No hope for the tape deck. - Or the Creedence. 640 00:42:21,702 --> 00:42:25,206 Well, what about, uh... 641 00:42:25,289 --> 00:42:26,958 The briefcase? 642 00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:29,794 'Mr. Lebowski, I'd like to see you. 643 00:42:29,877 --> 00:42:33,338 'My name is Maude Lebowski. I'm the one who took your rug.' 644 00:42:34,756 --> 00:42:38,552 Guess we can close the file on that one. 645 00:43:25,219 --> 00:43:27,471 Elfranco, ayúdame abajo. 646 00:43:27,555 --> 00:43:31,851 I'll be with you in a moment, Mr. Lebowski. 647 00:43:50,118 --> 00:43:54,079 Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski? 648 00:43:54,163 --> 00:43:56,290 Is that what this is a picture of? 649 00:43:56,373 --> 00:43:57,958 In a sense, yes. 650 00:43:58,042 --> 00:44:01,545 My art is strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. 651 00:44:01,629 --> 00:44:05,757 The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina. 652 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,425 Oh, yeah? 653 00:44:07,509 --> 00:44:10,929 They find it difficult to say, but without batting an eye, 654 00:44:11,012 --> 00:44:15,099 a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his... johnson. 655 00:44:16,142 --> 00:44:18,769 - Johnson? - All right, Mr. Lebowski. 656 00:44:18,852 --> 00:44:20,646 Let's get down to cases. 657 00:44:20,729 --> 00:44:23,106 My father agreed to let you have the rug, 658 00:44:23,190 --> 00:44:25,609 but it was a gift from me to my late mother, 659 00:44:25,692 --> 00:44:27,653 and not his to give. Now... 660 00:44:27,736 --> 00:44:29,738 Your face. 661 00:44:29,822 --> 00:44:32,323 As for this kidnapping... 662 00:44:32,406 --> 00:44:36,577 I know all about it, and that you acted as courier. 663 00:44:36,661 --> 00:44:40,873 Let me tell you something. It stinks to high heaven. 664 00:44:40,957 --> 00:44:44,251 Right, but let me explain something about the rug. 665 00:44:44,334 --> 00:44:47,671 - Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? - Excuse me? 666 00:44:47,754 --> 00:44:49,840 Sex. The physical act of love. 667 00:44:49,923 --> 00:44:52,008 Coitus. Do you like it? 668 00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,052 I was talking about my rug. 669 00:44:54,135 --> 00:44:57,638 - You're not interested in sex? - You mean coitus? 670 00:44:57,721 --> 00:45:01,725 I like it. It's a myth about feminists that we hate sex. 671 00:45:01,809 --> 00:45:05,813 It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But some people - 672 00:45:05,896 --> 00:45:08,607 satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women - 673 00:45:08,691 --> 00:45:11,359 engage in it compulsively and without joy. 674 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:14,779 - Oh, no. - Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski. 675 00:45:14,863 --> 00:45:18,616 They cannot love in the true sense of the word. 676 00:45:18,700 --> 00:45:22,120 Our mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. 677 00:45:22,203 --> 00:45:24,163 Listen, Maude, 678 00:45:24,246 --> 00:45:28,125 um, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, 679 00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:30,919 but what has that to do with, uh... 680 00:45:31,003 --> 00:45:34,756 - Do you have any Kahlua? - Take a look at this, sir. 681 00:45:37,925 --> 00:45:40,386 Oh, I know that guy. 682 00:45:41,012 --> 00:45:43,055 He's a nihilist. 683 00:45:44,474 --> 00:45:46,601 Karl Hungus... 684 00:45:59,821 --> 00:46:02,491 - 'Hi. - Hello. Meine dispatcher says 685 00:46:02,574 --> 00:46:05,284 'there's something wrong mit deine kabel. 686 00:46:05,367 --> 00:46:08,621 'Come in. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong. 687 00:46:08,704 --> 00:46:11,415 'Zat's why they sent me. I am an expert. 688 00:46:11,499 --> 00:46:12,500 'The TV's in here.' 689 00:46:12,583 --> 00:46:14,919 You recognize her, of course. 690 00:46:18,922 --> 00:46:22,175 'That's my friend. She came over to use the shower.' 691 00:46:22,258 --> 00:46:24,469 The story is ludicrous. 692 00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:27,639 'Meine name is Karl. Ich bin expert.' 693 00:46:27,722 --> 00:46:29,598 'You're here to fix the cable.' 694 00:46:29,681 --> 00:46:33,268 You can imagine where it goes from here. 695 00:46:33,352 --> 00:46:36,897 - He fixes the cable? - Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 696 00:46:36,980 --> 00:46:40,317 Little matter that she pursues a career in pornography 697 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,652 nor that she's been "banging" Jackie Treehorn, 698 00:46:42,735 --> 00:46:45,154 to use the parlance of our times. 699 00:46:45,238 --> 00:46:49,116 But I am one of the two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation, 700 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,077 the other being my father. 701 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,079 The Foundation takes youngsters... 702 00:46:53,162 --> 00:46:54,997 Shit, yeah, the achievers. 703 00:46:55,081 --> 00:46:57,707 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes. 704 00:46:57,791 --> 00:47:00,919 I asked my father about his withdrawal of $1 million, 705 00:47:01,002 --> 00:47:03,672 and he told me about this abduction. 706 00:47:03,755 --> 00:47:06,716 It is preposterous. This compulsive fornicator 707 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,176 is taking my father for the proverbial ride. 708 00:47:09,260 --> 00:47:11,595 - But my... - I'm getting to your rug. 709 00:47:11,679 --> 00:47:13,556 My father and I don't get along. 710 00:47:13,639 --> 00:47:16,892 We don't approve of each other's lifestyles. 711 00:47:16,976 --> 00:47:20,813 But I hardly wish to make his embezzlement a police matter. 712 00:47:20,896 --> 00:47:25,233 I propose that you try to recover the money. 713 00:47:25,316 --> 00:47:28,778 Well, I could do that. 714 00:47:28,862 --> 00:47:31,823 If you do so, I will compensate you 715 00:47:31,906 --> 00:47:34,951 to the tune of 10% of the recovered sum. 716 00:47:35,034 --> 00:47:36,618 A hundred... 717 00:47:36,702 --> 00:47:41,248 thousand, yes, bones or clams or whatever you call them. 718 00:47:41,331 --> 00:47:45,043 Yeah, but... what about my, uh... 719 00:47:45,127 --> 00:47:48,213 Your rug. With that money you can buy any rug 720 00:47:48,297 --> 00:47:50,965 that doesn't have sentimental value for me. 721 00:47:51,048 --> 00:47:53,050 I am sorry about that crack on the jaw. 722 00:47:53,134 --> 00:47:55,803 Oh, that's fine. That doesn't even, uh... 723 00:47:55,887 --> 00:47:58,639 Here's the number of a doctor who will look at it. 724 00:47:58,723 --> 00:48:01,600 You'll receive no bill. He's a good man. 725 00:48:01,683 --> 00:48:04,519 - That's thoughtful, but... - Please see him. 726 00:48:04,603 --> 00:48:06,438 He's a good man. 727 00:48:08,315 --> 00:48:10,942 Oh, well... all right. 728 00:48:12,903 --> 00:48:14,070 He says, "My wife's a pain. 729 00:48:14,279 --> 00:48:16,363 "She's always bustin' my friggin' agates. 730 00:48:16,405 --> 00:48:19,241 "My daughter's married to a loser bastard, 731 00:48:19,325 --> 00:48:22,036 "and I got a rash so bad on my ass 732 00:48:22,119 --> 00:48:25,956 "I can't sit down. But you know me, can't complain." 733 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,209 Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man. 734 00:48:29,292 --> 00:48:31,044 Fuckin' A. 735 00:48:31,127 --> 00:48:33,254 I gotta tell you, man, 736 00:48:33,338 --> 00:48:36,841 earlier in the day, I was feeling shitty, man. 737 00:48:36,925 --> 00:48:38,593 Down in the dumps. 738 00:48:38,676 --> 00:48:40,720 Lost a little money... 739 00:48:40,804 --> 00:48:44,223 Hey, you know what? Forget about it. 740 00:48:44,306 --> 00:48:48,101 I can't be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man. 741 00:48:48,185 --> 00:48:50,145 Home, sweet home, Mr. I. 742 00:48:53,774 --> 00:48:57,610 Look. Who's your friend in the Volkswagen? 743 00:48:59,403 --> 00:49:02,281 Yeah, he followed us here. 744 00:49:02,365 --> 00:49:05,660 When did he start foll... What the fuck? 745 00:49:05,743 --> 00:49:08,328 In the limo, you son of a bitch. No arguing. 746 00:49:08,411 --> 00:49:10,747 Careful, man. There's a beverage here. 747 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:15,043 Start talking and talk fast, you lousy bum. 748 00:49:15,127 --> 00:49:17,546 We've been trying to reach you, Dude. 749 00:49:17,629 --> 00:49:20,465 Where's my goddamn money, you bum? 750 00:49:20,549 --> 00:49:22,424 W-well, we... 751 00:49:22,508 --> 00:49:24,260 I don't... 752 00:49:24,343 --> 00:49:27,513 They did not receive the money, you nitwit! 753 00:49:27,596 --> 00:49:31,392 - Her life was in your hands! - This is our concern, Dude. 754 00:49:31,475 --> 00:49:34,060 No, man, nothing is fucked here. 755 00:49:34,144 --> 00:49:36,146 - Nothing is fucked? - No, man. 756 00:49:36,229 --> 00:49:39,440 The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain! 757 00:49:39,524 --> 00:49:43,319 Come on, who are you gonna believe, those guys or... 758 00:49:43,403 --> 00:49:45,530 We dropped off the damn money. 759 00:49:45,613 --> 00:49:47,531 We? 760 00:49:47,614 --> 00:49:49,658 I. 761 00:49:49,741 --> 00:49:53,454 The royal we. You know, the editorial. 762 00:49:53,537 --> 00:49:56,248 I dropped off the money exactly as per... 763 00:49:56,331 --> 00:49:58,750 I've got certain information, all right? 764 00:49:58,834 --> 00:50:01,544 Certain things have come to light, and... 765 00:50:01,627 --> 00:50:04,172 Has it ever occurred to you 766 00:50:04,255 --> 00:50:08,468 that instead of, you know, running around, 767 00:50:08,551 --> 00:50:12,305 blaming me, given the nature of all this new shit, 768 00:50:12,388 --> 00:50:16,224 this could be a lot more... 769 00:50:16,308 --> 00:50:18,310 Complex? 770 00:50:18,393 --> 00:50:22,731 I mean, it might not be such a simple, uh... you know? 771 00:50:22,814 --> 00:50:25,901 What in God's name are you blathering about? 772 00:50:25,984 --> 00:50:29,445 I'll tell you what I'm blathering about. 773 00:50:29,528 --> 00:50:32,823 I've got information. New shit has come to light. 774 00:50:32,907 --> 00:50:35,117 And, shit, man... 775 00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,913 She kidnapped herself. 776 00:50:41,206 --> 00:50:43,041 Well, sure, man. 777 00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:46,127 Look at it. A young trophy wife, 778 00:50:46,211 --> 00:50:48,463 in the parlance of our times. 779 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,591 She owes money all over town, 780 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:54,676 including to known pornographers. 781 00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:58,722 And that's cool. That's cool. 782 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:01,934 I'm saying she needs money, man. 783 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:04,269 And... and, you know, 784 00:51:04,353 --> 00:51:07,396 of course they're gonna say they didn't get it, 785 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,566 because she wants more, man. 786 00:51:10,650 --> 00:51:13,986 She's gotta feed the monkey. I mean... 787 00:51:15,613 --> 00:51:19,408 Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir? 788 00:51:21,660 --> 00:51:25,413 No, Mr. Lebowski, it had not occurred to me. 789 00:51:25,497 --> 00:51:28,100 That had not occurred to us, Dude. 790 00:51:29,084 --> 00:51:32,337 You guys aren't privy to all the new shit, so... 791 00:51:32,420 --> 00:51:34,630 you know. But... 792 00:51:34,713 --> 00:51:38,008 Hey, that's what you pay me for. 793 00:51:39,718 --> 00:51:42,930 Speaking of which, do you think that you could... 794 00:51:43,013 --> 00:51:45,141 give me my 20,000 in cash? 795 00:51:45,224 --> 00:51:48,726 My concern is... and I gotta check with my accountant... 796 00:51:48,810 --> 00:51:51,563 but this might bump me into a higher tax... 797 00:51:51,646 --> 00:51:53,982 Brandt... Give him the envelope. 798 00:51:54,065 --> 00:51:58,194 Oh, if you've already got the check made out, that's cool. 799 00:51:58,278 --> 00:52:00,779 We received this this morning. 800 00:52:02,072 --> 00:52:05,659 Since you have failed to achieve, 801 00:52:05,742 --> 00:52:09,163 even in the modest task which was your charge, 802 00:52:09,246 --> 00:52:12,999 since you have stolen my money, 803 00:52:13,082 --> 00:52:16,252 since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust... 804 00:52:16,335 --> 00:52:18,129 I have no choice 805 00:52:18,212 --> 00:52:23,217 but to tell these bums to do whatever is necessary 806 00:52:23,301 --> 00:52:28,305 to recover their money from you, Jeffrey Lebowski. 807 00:52:28,388 --> 00:52:31,975 With Brandt as my witness, I will tell you this: 808 00:52:32,058 --> 00:52:36,563 Any further harm visited upon Bunny 809 00:52:36,646 --> 00:52:40,149 will be visited tenfold upon your head. 810 00:52:42,568 --> 00:52:47,698 By God, sir, I will not abide another toe. 811 00:52:52,994 --> 00:52:55,830 That wasn't her toe, Dude. 812 00:52:55,914 --> 00:52:59,834 - Whose toe was it, Walter? - How the fuck should I know? 813 00:52:59,918 --> 00:53:02,504 Nothing about it indicates... 814 00:53:02,587 --> 00:53:05,089 - The nail polish, Walter. - Fine, Dude. 815 00:53:05,172 --> 00:53:09,259 You can get nail polish and apply it to someone else's toe. 816 00:53:09,343 --> 00:53:11,345 Where the fuck are they gonna get... 817 00:53:11,428 --> 00:53:14,431 You want a toe? I can get you a toe. 818 00:53:14,515 --> 00:53:16,683 Believe me, there are ways, Dude. 819 00:53:16,767 --> 00:53:18,935 You don't wanna know about it. 820 00:53:19,018 --> 00:53:22,897 I can get you a toe by 3 pm, with nail polish. 821 00:53:22,980 --> 00:53:25,983 These fuckin' amateurs. They send us a toe, 822 00:53:26,067 --> 00:53:29,654 we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ! 823 00:53:29,737 --> 00:53:32,823 They're gonna kill her and then me. 824 00:53:32,906 --> 00:53:36,284 Dude... that's... 825 00:53:36,368 --> 00:53:39,287 That's just the stress talking, man. 826 00:53:39,371 --> 00:53:41,581 We have what appears to me 827 00:53:41,665 --> 00:53:44,334 to be a series of victimless crimes. 828 00:53:44,417 --> 00:53:48,754 - What about the toe? - Forget about the fucking toe! 829 00:53:48,838 --> 00:53:52,049 Could you keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant. 830 00:53:52,133 --> 00:53:54,385 Dear, for your information, 831 00:53:54,468 --> 00:53:57,930 the Supreme Court has rejected prior restraint! 832 00:53:58,012 --> 00:53:59,806 This is not a First Amendment thing. 833 00:53:59,889 --> 00:54:03,059 If you don't calm down, you'll have to leave. 834 00:54:03,143 --> 00:54:06,438 Lady, my buddies died face-down in the muck 835 00:54:06,521 --> 00:54:09,482 so we could enjoy this family restaurant! 836 00:54:09,566 --> 00:54:12,317 - I'm outta here. - Dude, don't go away, man. 837 00:54:12,401 --> 00:54:14,278 This affects all of us. 838 00:54:14,361 --> 00:54:16,196 There are basic freedoms! 839 00:54:20,784 --> 00:54:23,078 I'm stayin'. 840 00:54:24,412 --> 00:54:26,414 I'm finishing my coffee. 841 00:54:31,627 --> 00:54:34,297 Enjoying my coffee. 842 00:54:49,394 --> 00:54:52,438 'The Dude is not in. 843 00:54:52,521 --> 00:54:55,483 'Leave a message after the beep. Thanks, man.' 844 00:54:56,942 --> 00:55:00,321 'Mr. Lebowski, this is duty officer Rolvaag of the LAPD. 845 00:55:00,404 --> 00:55:02,656 'We've recovered your automobile. 846 00:55:02,740 --> 00:55:04,783 'It can be claimed at...' 847 00:55:04,866 --> 00:55:07,702 Far out, man. Far fucking out! 848 00:55:17,711 --> 00:55:20,964 Hey! This is a private residence, man. 849 00:55:29,723 --> 00:55:32,058 Ah, nice marmot. 850 00:55:40,566 --> 00:55:46,196 Vere is the money, Lebowski. Ve vant the money, Lebowski. 851 00:55:51,034 --> 00:55:55,247 You zink ve are kidding or making with the funny stuff? 852 00:55:55,330 --> 00:55:58,082 Things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski. 853 00:55:58,165 --> 00:56:01,001 Ve believes in nossing, Lebowski, nossing. 854 00:56:01,085 --> 00:56:03,963 Ve come back and ve cut off your chonson. 855 00:56:04,046 --> 00:56:05,548 Excuse me? 856 00:56:05,631 --> 00:56:08,592 I said we'll cut off your johnson! 857 00:56:08,676 --> 00:56:10,593 Just think about that, Lebowski. 858 00:56:10,677 --> 00:56:12,595 Ja, your viggly penis, Lebowski. 859 00:56:12,679 --> 00:56:15,473 Maybe we stomp on it and sqoosh it, Lebowski. 860 00:56:24,898 --> 00:56:26,817 It was discovered last night 861 00:56:26,900 --> 00:56:30,112 - lodged against an abutment. - Oh, man, lodged where? 862 00:56:30,195 --> 00:56:33,365 You're lucky she didn't get chopped, Mr. Lebowski. 863 00:56:33,449 --> 00:56:35,325 A joyride situation. 864 00:56:35,409 --> 00:56:38,286 They abandon the vehicle once they hit the wall. 865 00:56:38,369 --> 00:56:41,747 My fucking briefcase! Man, it's not here. Shit! 866 00:56:41,831 --> 00:56:43,583 I saw the report. Sorry. 867 00:56:43,666 --> 00:56:46,169 You gotta get in on the other side. 868 00:56:46,252 --> 00:56:50,797 The side-view was found on the road by the car. 869 00:56:50,881 --> 00:56:54,760 You're lucky they left the tape deck, and the Creedence. 870 00:56:54,843 --> 00:56:58,388 Aw, Jesus! What's that smell, man? 871 00:56:58,472 --> 00:57:01,308 Probably a vagrant slept in the car 872 00:57:01,391 --> 00:57:03,476 or just used it as a toilet. 873 00:57:03,559 --> 00:57:05,895 Hey, man... 874 00:57:05,978 --> 00:57:08,939 Are you gonna find these guys, you know... 875 00:57:09,023 --> 00:57:12,276 I mean, you got any promising, uh, leads or... 876 00:57:12,359 --> 00:57:15,488 Leads? Yeah, sure. 877 00:57:15,571 --> 00:57:19,616 I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. 878 00:57:19,699 --> 00:57:23,036 They got four more detectives working on the case. 879 00:57:23,119 --> 00:57:25,538 They got us working in shifts. 880 00:57:30,375 --> 00:57:32,377 Leads? 881 00:57:32,461 --> 00:57:34,546 I hope the big Lebowski kills me 882 00:57:34,630 --> 00:57:38,050 before the Germans can cut my dick off. 883 00:57:38,550 --> 00:57:41,929 That is just ridiculous, Dude. No one'll cut your dick off. 884 00:57:41,970 --> 00:57:44,931 - Thank you. - Not if I have anything to say. 885 00:57:45,014 --> 00:57:47,600 - That makes me feel secure. - Dude. 886 00:57:47,683 --> 00:57:50,520 - It makes me feel warm inside. - Now, Dude. 887 00:57:50,603 --> 00:57:52,855 This whole fuckin' thing. 888 00:57:52,939 --> 00:57:57,400 I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. 889 00:57:57,484 --> 00:58:00,445 - But, no, man, I gotta... - Fucking Germans. 890 00:58:00,529 --> 00:58:03,573 Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. 891 00:58:03,657 --> 00:58:05,992 They were Nazis, Dude? 892 00:58:06,076 --> 00:58:09,203 Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration. 893 00:58:09,286 --> 00:58:11,330 - Are we gonna split hairs? - No. 894 00:58:11,414 --> 00:58:13,416 - Am I wrong? - Well, he... 895 00:58:13,499 --> 00:58:15,167 They were nihilists, man. 896 00:58:15,251 --> 00:58:17,711 They kept saying they believed in nothing. 897 00:58:17,795 --> 00:58:20,464 Nihilists. 898 00:58:20,548 --> 00:58:23,049 Fuck me. 899 00:58:23,758 --> 00:58:27,595 Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, 900 00:58:27,679 --> 00:58:29,889 at least it's an ethos. 901 00:58:29,973 --> 00:58:32,725 And also, let's not forget, Dude, 902 00:58:32,809 --> 00:58:36,270 that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent 903 00:58:36,353 --> 00:58:39,022 for, you know, domestic... 904 00:58:39,106 --> 00:58:41,066 within the city... 905 00:58:41,150 --> 00:58:43,110 That ain't legal either. 906 00:58:43,193 --> 00:58:46,447 - Are you a fucking park ranger? - No, I'm just... 907 00:58:46,530 --> 00:58:49,574 Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? 908 00:58:49,657 --> 00:58:52,910 - We are sympathizing, Dude. - Fuck sympathy. 909 00:58:52,994 --> 00:58:57,039 I don't need your fucking sympathy. I need my johnson. 910 00:58:57,123 --> 00:59:00,501 - What do you need that for? - You've got to buck up! 911 00:59:00,585 --> 00:59:04,045 You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament. 912 00:59:04,129 --> 00:59:07,215 Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter. 913 00:59:07,299 --> 00:59:10,260 Fuck the tournament? 914 00:59:10,343 --> 00:59:14,222 OK, Dude. I can see you don't want to be cheered up. 915 00:59:14,306 --> 00:59:17,641 Come on, Donny. Let's go get us a lane. 916 00:59:21,228 --> 00:59:24,565 - Another Caucasian, Gary. - Right, Dude. 917 00:59:26,358 --> 00:59:28,818 Friends like these, huh, Gary? 918 00:59:28,902 --> 00:59:30,987 That's right, Dude. 919 00:59:52,091 --> 00:59:56,177 Do you have a good Sarsaparilla? 920 00:59:56,260 --> 00:59:58,262 Sioux City Sarsaparilla? 921 00:59:58,346 --> 01:00:00,848 Yeah. That's a good one. 922 01:00:02,683 --> 01:00:04,894 How you doin' there, Dude? 923 01:00:05,728 --> 01:00:07,896 Not too good, man. 924 01:00:07,979 --> 01:00:11,817 - One of those days, huh? - Yeah. 925 01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:13,527 Well... 926 01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:16,488 A wiser fella than myself once said, 927 01:00:16,571 --> 01:00:19,866 "Sometimes you eat the bar and..." 928 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,159 Much obliged. 929 01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:24,787 "And sometimes the bar, well... 930 01:00:24,870 --> 01:00:26,664 "he eats you." 931 01:00:26,747 --> 01:00:30,084 That some kind of Eastern thing? 932 01:00:30,918 --> 01:00:32,962 Far from it. 933 01:00:38,633 --> 01:00:41,094 I like your style, Dude. 934 01:00:41,177 --> 01:00:43,555 Hmm. Well... 935 01:00:43,638 --> 01:00:45,974 I dig your style, too, man. 936 01:00:46,057 --> 01:00:48,559 You got a whole cowboy thing going. 937 01:00:51,979 --> 01:00:53,772 Thankee. 938 01:00:53,856 --> 01:00:57,735 - There's just one thing, Dude. - What's that? 939 01:00:57,818 --> 01:01:01,195 Do you have to use so many cuss words? 940 01:01:02,989 --> 01:01:05,616 What the fuck are you talking about? 941 01:01:07,827 --> 01:01:10,955 OK, Dude, have it your way. 942 01:01:12,206 --> 01:01:14,708 Take her easy, Dude. 943 01:01:14,791 --> 01:01:17,210 Yeah. Thanks, man. 944 01:01:22,299 --> 01:01:24,634 Call for you, Dude. 945 01:01:28,053 --> 01:01:29,346 Hello? 946 01:01:29,430 --> 01:01:32,475 'Jeffrey, you have not gone to the doctor.' 947 01:01:32,558 --> 01:01:35,770 Uh, oh, yeah. No... no, I haven't yet. 948 01:01:35,853 --> 01:01:38,439 'I'd like to see you immediately.' 949 01:01:38,522 --> 01:01:40,148 Oh? 950 01:01:51,159 --> 01:01:55,788 - So you're Lebowski. - Yeah. 951 01:01:58,415 --> 01:02:00,459 Maude has told me all about you. 952 01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:03,712 She'll be back in a minute. Sit down. 953 01:02:03,796 --> 01:02:07,173 - Do you want a drink? - Yeah, sure. White Russian. 954 01:02:07,256 --> 01:02:09,801 The bar's over there. 955 01:02:14,055 --> 01:02:18,309 - So what do you do, Lebowski? - Who the fuck are you, man? 956 01:02:20,060 --> 01:02:21,937 Just a friend of Maudie's. 957 01:02:22,020 --> 01:02:24,147 The friend with the cleft asshole? 958 01:02:26,316 --> 01:02:28,860 What do you do? 959 01:02:28,944 --> 01:02:30,987 Oh, nothing much. 960 01:02:31,071 --> 01:02:33,114 Hello, Jeffrey. 961 01:02:33,197 --> 01:02:36,492 Yeah, how are you? Listen, Maude, 962 01:02:36,575 --> 01:02:39,161 I got to, uh... 963 01:02:40,538 --> 01:02:42,623 tender my resignation or whatever. 964 01:02:42,706 --> 01:02:47,961 It looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all. 965 01:02:48,044 --> 01:02:49,838 She most certainly was not. 966 01:02:49,921 --> 01:02:53,007 Hey, man, why don't you fucking... 967 01:02:53,091 --> 01:02:56,302 listen occasionally? You might learn something. 968 01:02:56,386 --> 01:02:59,263 - Now, I got... - Don't call her my mother. 969 01:03:00,848 --> 01:03:03,058 She's the perpetrator and not the victim. 970 01:03:03,142 --> 01:03:06,019 I got pretty definitive evidence... 971 01:03:06,103 --> 01:03:09,064 - From who? - From the main guy, Uli. 972 01:03:09,148 --> 01:03:12,192 Uli Kunkel? Her co-star in the beaver picture? 973 01:03:12,276 --> 01:03:15,069 Beaver? You mean vagina... 974 01:03:15,153 --> 01:03:17,488 I mean, you know the guy? 975 01:03:17,572 --> 01:03:20,575 I might have introduced them for all I know. 976 01:03:20,658 --> 01:03:22,660 Do you remember Uli? 977 01:03:22,744 --> 01:03:26,163 He's a musician. Used to have a group, Autobahn. 978 01:03:26,246 --> 01:03:29,541 They released one album in the late 70s. 979 01:03:29,624 --> 01:03:32,794 Their music is sort of a... technopop. 980 01:03:32,878 --> 01:03:35,297 So he's pretending to be the abductor? 981 01:03:35,380 --> 01:03:37,591 - Well, yeah. - Look, Jeffrey, 982 01:03:37,674 --> 01:03:40,342 you don't kidnap someone you're acquainted with. 983 01:03:40,426 --> 01:03:42,970 The idea is that the hostage can't identify you 984 01:03:43,054 --> 01:03:45,598 - after you've let them go. - I know that. 985 01:03:50,144 --> 01:03:53,313 What the fuck is with this guy? Who is he? 986 01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:56,941 Knox Harrington. The video artist. 987 01:03:57,025 --> 01:04:00,653 - So Uli has the money? - Well... 988 01:04:00,737 --> 01:04:03,198 No, not exactly... 989 01:04:03,281 --> 01:04:06,075 This is a very complicated case, Maude. 990 01:04:06,158 --> 01:04:09,787 A lot of ins and outs and what-have-yous... 991 01:04:09,870 --> 01:04:12,956 A lot of strands to keep in my head. 992 01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:15,417 A lot of strands in old Duder's head. 993 01:04:15,501 --> 01:04:16,960 Then who has the money? 994 01:04:17,044 --> 01:04:19,921 It's Sandra, about the Biennale. 995 01:04:20,004 --> 01:04:23,508 I have to take this. Do you have that doctor's number? 996 01:04:23,591 --> 01:04:27,053 - It's not bruised any more. - Please, Jeffrey, 997 01:04:27,136 --> 01:04:30,890 I don't want to be responsible for any delayed after-effects. 998 01:04:32,808 --> 01:04:34,726 After-effects? 999 01:05:03,837 --> 01:05:07,257 Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski, please? 1000 01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:10,176 No, man. She hit me right here. 1001 01:05:10,260 --> 01:05:12,010 I understand. 1002 01:05:12,094 --> 01:05:15,764 Could you slide your shorts down, please? 1003 01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,573 He lives in North Hollywood, 1004 01:07:48,656 --> 01:07:50,741 on Radford, near the In 'n' Out Burger. 1005 01:07:50,824 --> 01:07:52,659 The In 'n' Out Burger's on Camrose. 1006 01:07:52,743 --> 01:07:54,995 - Near it. - Those are good burgers. 1007 01:07:55,078 --> 01:07:56,913 Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1008 01:07:56,997 --> 01:07:59,958 The kid's in ninth grade, and his father... 1009 01:08:00,042 --> 01:08:04,128 Are you ready for this? His father is Arthur Digby Sellers. 1010 01:08:04,211 --> 01:08:06,047 Who the fuck is that? 1011 01:08:06,130 --> 01:08:08,674 Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers? 1012 01:08:08,758 --> 01:08:12,011 Ever heard of a show called "Branded"? 1013 01:08:12,094 --> 01:08:15,389 "All but one man died there at Bitter Creek"? 1014 01:08:15,473 --> 01:08:17,599 I know the fucking show. So what? 1015 01:08:17,682 --> 01:08:21,561 Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude. 1016 01:08:21,644 --> 01:08:24,272 The bulk of the series. 1017 01:08:24,355 --> 01:08:26,900 - Not exactly a lightweight. - No. 1018 01:08:26,983 --> 01:08:30,569 And yet his son is a fucking dunce. 1019 01:08:30,652 --> 01:08:33,072 We'll go there after the what-have-you, 1020 01:08:33,155 --> 01:08:35,032 we'll brace the kid. 1021 01:08:35,115 --> 01:08:37,117 We'll be near the In 'n' Out Burger. 1022 01:08:37,201 --> 01:08:39,661 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 1023 01:08:39,745 --> 01:08:43,581 We'll brace the kid. He should be a pushover. 1024 01:08:43,664 --> 01:08:45,875 We'll get that fucking $1 million back... 1025 01:08:45,958 --> 01:08:47,919 If he hasn't spent it already. 1026 01:08:48,002 --> 01:08:49,962 A million fucking clams. 1027 01:08:50,046 --> 01:08:53,383 - Yes, we'll be near the, uh... - In 'n' Out. 1028 01:08:55,134 --> 01:08:58,178 Some burgers, some beers, a few laughs. 1029 01:08:59,262 --> 01:09:03,392 Our fucking troubles are over, Dude. 1030 01:09:14,235 --> 01:09:17,446 Oh, fuck me, man! 1031 01:09:17,530 --> 01:09:20,658 That kid's already spent all the money, man! 1032 01:09:20,741 --> 01:09:23,243 New 'vette? Hardly, Dude. 1033 01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:26,955 I'd say he still has 960, $970,000 left, 1034 01:09:27,038 --> 01:09:30,291 depending on the options. Wait in the car, Donny. 1035 01:09:33,628 --> 01:09:36,213 - Yes? - Pilar? 1036 01:09:37,047 --> 01:09:38,966 My name is Walter Sobchak. 1037 01:09:39,049 --> 01:09:42,094 This is my associate Jeffrey Lebowski. 1038 01:09:42,177 --> 01:09:46,140 We came to talk about little Larry. May we come in? 1039 01:09:46,223 --> 01:09:48,391 - Yes, yes. - Thank you. 1040 01:09:52,729 --> 01:09:55,148 That's him, Dude. 1041 01:10:02,195 --> 01:10:05,115 And a good day to you, sir! 1042 01:10:05,198 --> 01:10:07,576 Sit down, please. 1043 01:10:12,039 --> 01:10:14,874 Larry, sweetie, that man is here! 1044 01:10:14,957 --> 01:10:18,377 Is he... Does he still write? 1045 01:10:18,461 --> 01:10:21,547 Oh, no, no. He has health problems. 1046 01:10:24,175 --> 01:10:27,636 Sir, I just want to say 1047 01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:31,181 that we're both, on a personal level, 1048 01:10:31,264 --> 01:10:33,266 really enormous fans. 1049 01:10:33,350 --> 01:10:36,394 "Branded", especially the early episodes, 1050 01:10:36,478 --> 01:10:38,897 was truly a source of inspiration... 1051 01:10:38,980 --> 01:10:41,565 Sweetie, sit down! This is the police. 1052 01:10:41,648 --> 01:10:45,235 Oh, no, ma'am, we are not exactly the police. 1053 01:10:45,319 --> 01:10:47,821 We hope it won't be necessary to call the police. 1054 01:10:47,905 --> 01:10:50,574 But that's up to little Larry here. 1055 01:10:50,657 --> 01:10:52,993 Isn't it, Larry? 1056 01:11:02,919 --> 01:11:05,004 Is this your homework, Larry? 1057 01:11:07,506 --> 01:11:09,549 - Is this your homework? - Look, man... 1058 01:11:09,633 --> 01:11:13,011 Dude, please. Is this your homework, Larry? 1059 01:11:13,095 --> 01:11:14,888 Just ask him about the car. 1060 01:11:14,971 --> 01:11:18,058 - Is this your homework, Larry? - Is that your car out front? 1061 01:11:18,141 --> 01:11:21,352 - Is this your homework, Larry? - We know it's his homework! 1062 01:11:21,435 --> 01:11:23,020 Where's the fucking money? 1063 01:11:23,104 --> 01:11:25,147 Look, Larry... 1064 01:11:25,231 --> 01:11:26,899 Have you heard of Vietnam? 1065 01:11:26,982 --> 01:11:29,985 You're entering a world of pain, son. 1066 01:11:30,069 --> 01:11:32,029 We know that you stole the car. 1067 01:11:32,113 --> 01:11:34,155 - And the fucking money! - And the fucking money. 1068 01:11:34,239 --> 01:11:36,366 We know that this is your homework. 1069 01:11:36,449 --> 01:11:39,452 - We'll cut your dick off. - You're killing your father. 1070 01:11:41,996 --> 01:11:44,874 All right. This is pointless. 1071 01:11:44,958 --> 01:11:47,835 OK? It's time for plan B. 1072 01:11:50,379 --> 01:11:54,258 You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. 1073 01:11:54,341 --> 01:11:56,176 Son, this is what happens 1074 01:11:56,260 --> 01:11:58,512 when you fuck a stranger in the ass! 1075 01:11:59,888 --> 01:12:01,848 Little language problem here. 1076 01:12:01,931 --> 01:12:05,309 The little prick's stonewalling me. 1077 01:12:05,393 --> 01:12:07,145 Walter! 1078 01:12:07,228 --> 01:12:09,230 What... what are you doing, man? 1079 01:12:11,899 --> 01:12:13,483 What are you doing? 1080 01:12:15,110 --> 01:12:18,613 Here you go, Larry. You see what happens? 1081 01:12:18,697 --> 01:12:21,241 You see what happens, Larry? 1082 01:12:23,618 --> 01:12:25,454 This is what happens 1083 01:12:25,537 --> 01:12:28,748 when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry! 1084 01:12:29,832 --> 01:12:31,709 This is what happens, Larry! 1085 01:12:31,792 --> 01:12:34,086 You see what happens, Larry, 1086 01:12:34,170 --> 01:12:36,672 when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1087 01:12:36,756 --> 01:12:38,341 This is what happens. 1088 01:12:38,424 --> 01:12:40,216 You see what happens, Larry? 1089 01:12:41,593 --> 01:12:43,511 You see what happens, Larry? 1090 01:12:43,595 --> 01:12:45,263 Do you see what happens, Larry, 1091 01:12:45,347 --> 01:12:47,640 when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1092 01:12:48,808 --> 01:12:52,062 This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens, Larry! 1093 01:12:52,145 --> 01:12:54,396 - No! - This is what happens, Larry! 1094 01:12:54,480 --> 01:12:57,191 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger... 1095 01:12:57,274 --> 01:12:59,526 What the fuck are you doing? Stop it! 1096 01:12:59,610 --> 01:13:02,154 I just bought that fucking car last week! 1097 01:13:02,237 --> 01:13:05,366 I'm gonna fuckin' kill you! 1098 01:13:05,449 --> 01:13:07,825 I just bought the fucking car last week! 1099 01:13:07,909 --> 01:13:10,495 I'll kill your fucking car, man! 1100 01:13:10,578 --> 01:13:12,288 No! That's not his... hey! 1101 01:13:12,372 --> 01:13:15,166 - God damn it! - No! Oh, no! 1102 01:13:15,249 --> 01:13:18,211 Fuck you! You like that? 1103 01:13:18,294 --> 01:13:21,463 Fuck you! I kill your fucking car! 1104 01:13:21,546 --> 01:13:24,883 I kill your fucking car! 1105 01:13:44,944 --> 01:13:47,112 I accept your apology. 1106 01:13:49,239 --> 01:13:53,118 No. I just... want to handle it by myself from now on. 1107 01:13:53,201 --> 01:13:55,578 No, no, no. 1108 01:13:55,662 --> 01:13:58,415 That has nothing to do with it. 1109 01:13:58,498 --> 01:14:01,041 Yes, the car made it home. 1110 01:14:01,125 --> 01:14:03,544 You're calling me at home. 1111 01:14:03,627 --> 01:14:09,258 No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack. 1112 01:14:10,884 --> 01:14:13,302 Well, that's your perception. 1113 01:14:14,512 --> 01:14:17,140 You know, Walter, you're right. 1114 01:14:17,223 --> 01:14:20,226 There is an unspoken message here. It's "Fuck you"! 1115 01:14:20,309 --> 01:14:22,437 Leave me the fuck alone! 1116 01:14:24,647 --> 01:14:27,024 Yeah, I'll be at practice. 1117 01:14:44,790 --> 01:14:48,085 Pin your diapers on. Jackie Treehorn wants to see you. 1118 01:14:48,169 --> 01:14:51,255 Jackie Treehorn knows which Lebowski you are. 1119 01:14:51,339 --> 01:14:54,007 Jackie Treehorn wants to see the deadbeat Lebowski. 1120 01:14:54,090 --> 01:14:55,967 You're not dealing with morons. 1121 01:15:43,512 --> 01:15:46,681 Hello, Dude. Thanks for coming. 1122 01:15:46,764 --> 01:15:48,849 I'm Jackie Treehorn. 1123 01:15:51,143 --> 01:15:54,271 This is quite a pad you got here, man. 1124 01:15:54,355 --> 01:15:56,774 Completely unspoiled. 1125 01:15:56,857 --> 01:15:59,984 - What's your drink, Dude? - White Russian. Thanks. 1126 01:16:00,068 --> 01:16:01,986 White Russian. 1127 01:16:02,070 --> 01:16:04,572 How's the smut business, Jackie? 1128 01:16:04,656 --> 01:16:06,366 I wouldn't know, Dude. 1129 01:16:06,449 --> 01:16:09,202 I deal in publishing, 1130 01:16:09,285 --> 01:16:11,495 entertainment, political advocacy. 1131 01:16:11,578 --> 01:16:15,207 - Oh. Which one's "Logjammin'"? - Yes, regrettably, it's true. 1132 01:16:15,290 --> 01:16:18,377 Standards have fallen in adult entertainment. 1133 01:16:18,460 --> 01:16:20,337 It's video, Dude. 1134 01:16:20,421 --> 01:16:22,965 Now that we're competing with amateurs, 1135 01:16:23,048 --> 01:16:25,883 we can't afford to invest in extras, like story, 1136 01:16:25,967 --> 01:16:28,261 production value, 1137 01:16:28,344 --> 01:16:30,430 feelings. 1138 01:16:31,389 --> 01:16:33,599 You know, people forget 1139 01:16:33,683 --> 01:16:37,395 that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. 1140 01:16:37,477 --> 01:16:39,479 On you maybe. 1141 01:16:39,563 --> 01:16:41,648 You have to take the good with the bad. 1142 01:16:41,732 --> 01:16:44,651 New technology permits us to do exciting things 1143 01:16:44,735 --> 01:16:48,989 in interactive erotic software. Wave of the future, Dude. 1144 01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:51,532 100% electronic. 1145 01:16:51,615 --> 01:16:55,328 Well... I still jerk off manually. 1146 01:16:56,704 --> 01:16:58,205 Of course you do. 1147 01:16:58,289 --> 01:17:01,876 I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. 1148 01:17:01,959 --> 01:17:03,753 Well, here it is, Dude. 1149 01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:05,795 Where's Bunny? 1150 01:17:05,879 --> 01:17:09,132 - I thought you might know that. - Why would I? 1151 01:17:09,215 --> 01:17:13,178 She ran off to get away from that sizable debt to me. 1152 01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:15,889 She didn't run off. She's been... 1153 01:17:15,972 --> 01:17:17,848 I've heard that story. 1154 01:17:17,931 --> 01:17:21,268 I know you're mixed up in this, Dude. 1155 01:17:21,352 --> 01:17:24,938 I don't care what you're trying to get from the husband. 1156 01:17:25,022 --> 01:17:26,815 That's your business. 1157 01:17:26,899 --> 01:17:28,901 All I'm saying is... 1158 01:17:28,984 --> 01:17:31,319 - I want mine. - Yeah, right, man. 1159 01:17:31,402 --> 01:17:34,155 There are a lot of... facets to this, 1160 01:17:34,238 --> 01:17:37,116 a lot of interested parties. 1161 01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:39,827 Excuse me. 1162 01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:46,625 Yeah? 1163 01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:48,085 Oh, yeah. 1164 01:17:48,168 --> 01:17:49,753 Where's that? 1165 01:17:52,673 --> 01:17:54,591 All right. 1166 01:17:58,177 --> 01:17:59,970 Excuse me. 1167 01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:38,506 - Forgive me. - No problemo, man. 1168 01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:40,633 So, uh... 1169 01:18:40,717 --> 01:18:43,803 If I, uh, can find your money... 1170 01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:47,473 What's in it for the Dude? 1171 01:18:47,557 --> 01:18:50,142 Of course, there's that to discuss. Refill? 1172 01:18:50,225 --> 01:18:52,060 The Pope shit in the woods? 1173 01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,771 10% finder's fee. That all right? 1174 01:18:54,855 --> 01:18:57,524 OK. Done, Jackie. 1175 01:18:57,607 --> 01:18:59,985 I dig the way you do business, man. 1176 01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:04,363 Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. 1177 01:19:04,447 --> 01:19:07,491 He lives in North Hollywood, on Radford, uh... 1178 01:19:07,575 --> 01:19:10,369 by the In 'n' Out Burger. 1179 01:19:10,453 --> 01:19:12,705 A fuckin' brat, 1180 01:19:12,788 --> 01:19:14,707 but I'm sure you can get it off him. 1181 01:19:14,790 --> 01:19:17,334 I mean, he's 15. 1182 01:19:18,335 --> 01:19:20,795 Flunking social studies. 1183 01:19:23,923 --> 01:19:26,259 So, if you could just, uh... 1184 01:19:26,343 --> 01:19:31,263 write me a check for my 10% of half a million... 1185 01:19:31,347 --> 01:19:34,266 five grand... I'll go out and mingle. 1186 01:19:38,771 --> 01:19:42,273 You mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie. 1187 01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,651 A 15-year-old kid. 1188 01:19:45,568 --> 01:19:48,321 Is this some sort of a joke? 1189 01:19:48,404 --> 01:19:50,406 No, no joke. 1190 01:19:50,490 --> 01:19:54,160 No funny stuff, Jackie. The kid's got it. 1191 01:19:54,243 --> 01:19:56,411 Hi, fellas. 1192 01:19:57,871 --> 01:20:00,248 The kid just wanted a car. 1193 01:20:03,085 --> 01:20:07,047 All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. 1194 01:20:07,130 --> 01:20:08,465 I'm not greedy. 1195 01:20:10,591 --> 01:20:12,927 It really... 1196 01:20:13,010 --> 01:20:14,720 tied the room together. 1197 01:20:17,682 --> 01:20:21,352 Darkness washed over the Dude. 1198 01:20:21,435 --> 01:20:24,062 Darker than a black steer's tookus 1199 01:20:24,145 --> 01:20:27,315 on a moonless prairie night. 1200 01:20:27,607 --> 01:20:29,234 There was no bottom. 1201 01:24:21,949 --> 01:24:23,867 Branded! 1202 01:24:37,630 --> 01:24:40,299 Is this your only I. D? 1203 01:24:40,383 --> 01:24:42,635 I know my rights, man. 1204 01:24:45,137 --> 01:24:49,265 - You don't know shit, Lebowski. - I want a fucking lawyer, man. 1205 01:24:49,349 --> 01:24:53,395 I want... Bill Kunstler, man... 1206 01:24:54,562 --> 01:24:56,272 or Ron Coobie. 1207 01:24:56,356 --> 01:24:58,108 Mr. Treehorn tells us 1208 01:24:58,191 --> 01:25:02,361 that he had to eject you from his garden party, 1209 01:25:02,444 --> 01:25:04,446 that you were drunk and abusive. 1210 01:25:04,530 --> 01:25:09,785 Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man. 1211 01:25:09,868 --> 01:25:13,079 Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. 1212 01:25:13,162 --> 01:25:15,498 You don't draw shit, Lebowski. 1213 01:25:15,581 --> 01:25:18,918 We got a nice quiet little beach community here, 1214 01:25:19,002 --> 01:25:21,337 and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. 1215 01:25:21,421 --> 01:25:23,506 So let me make something plain. 1216 01:25:23,589 --> 01:25:26,133 I don't like you sucking around, 1217 01:25:26,216 --> 01:25:28,218 bothering our citizens, Lebowski. 1218 01:25:28,302 --> 01:25:30,804 I don't like your jerk-off name, 1219 01:25:30,887 --> 01:25:32,681 I don't like your jerk-off face, 1220 01:25:32,764 --> 01:25:35,225 I don't like your jerk-off behavior, 1221 01:25:35,309 --> 01:25:38,437 and I don't like you... Jerk-off. 1222 01:25:40,855 --> 01:25:42,940 Do I make myself clear? 1223 01:25:45,860 --> 01:25:48,237 I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 1224 01:25:50,823 --> 01:25:52,866 Fucking fascist! 1225 01:25:53,950 --> 01:25:56,786 Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski! 1226 01:25:56,870 --> 01:25:59,247 Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat! 1227 01:26:00,874 --> 01:26:05,044 Keep your ugly goldbricking ass out of my beach community. 1228 01:26:17,348 --> 01:26:20,975 Jesus... Man, could you change the channel. 1229 01:26:21,059 --> 01:26:24,562 If you don't like my music, get your own fucking cab! 1230 01:26:24,646 --> 01:26:27,148 I'll pull over and kick your ass out. 1231 01:26:27,231 --> 01:26:30,985 I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles. 1232 01:26:39,409 --> 01:26:41,912 Out of my fucking cab! Out! Get... 1233 01:26:41,995 --> 01:26:44,164 Hey... man! 1234 01:26:44,247 --> 01:26:46,415 Man, hey! 1235 01:27:28,246 --> 01:27:31,541 Oh... Jesus. 1236 01:27:49,725 --> 01:27:51,684 Jeffrey. 1237 01:27:52,727 --> 01:27:54,228 Maude? 1238 01:27:54,312 --> 01:27:56,272 Love me. 1239 01:27:57,690 --> 01:27:59,567 Uh, that's my robe. 1240 01:28:00,735 --> 01:28:03,903 Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey. 1241 01:28:03,987 --> 01:28:06,364 Well, not much to tell. 1242 01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:11,411 I, um, I was one of the authors 1243 01:28:11,494 --> 01:28:13,705 of the Port Huron statement. 1244 01:28:13,788 --> 01:28:15,749 The original Port Huron statement. 1245 01:28:17,958 --> 01:28:21,837 Not the compromised second draft. 1246 01:28:22,296 --> 01:28:24,757 Uh, and then I, uh, 1247 01:28:24,840 --> 01:28:26,967 you ever hear of the Seattle 7? 1248 01:28:27,051 --> 01:28:30,511 That was me. 1249 01:28:30,595 --> 01:28:35,391 And, um, the six other guys. 1250 01:28:35,475 --> 01:28:39,520 Um... and then, ah, music business briefly. 1251 01:28:41,356 --> 01:28:44,066 - Yeah, a roadie for Metallica. - Oh. 1252 01:28:44,149 --> 01:28:47,945 - "Speed of Sound" tour. - Mm-hmm. 1253 01:28:48,028 --> 01:28:50,489 Bunch of assholes. 1254 01:28:50,572 --> 01:28:53,241 Uh, and then, you know, 1255 01:28:53,325 --> 01:28:55,452 a little of this, a little of that. 1256 01:28:55,535 --> 01:28:58,955 My career's slowed down a little lately. 1257 01:28:59,038 --> 01:29:03,292 What do you do for recreation? 1258 01:29:03,376 --> 01:29:08,673 Oh, the usual. Bowl, drive around. 1259 01:29:08,756 --> 01:29:11,800 The occasional acid flashback. 1260 01:29:17,389 --> 01:29:20,183 What happened to your house? 1261 01:29:20,267 --> 01:29:22,352 Oh, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. 1262 01:29:22,435 --> 01:29:25,187 He thought I had your father's money. 1263 01:29:25,271 --> 01:29:28,107 He got me out of the way while he looked for it. 1264 01:29:28,190 --> 01:29:30,776 - Cocktail? - No, thanks. 1265 01:29:30,859 --> 01:29:34,029 It's not my father's money. It's the Foundation's. 1266 01:29:34,113 --> 01:29:37,740 Why did he think you have it? And who does? 1267 01:29:37,824 --> 01:29:40,410 Larry Sellers, this high school kid. 1268 01:29:40,493 --> 01:29:42,078 Real fucking brat. 1269 01:29:42,161 --> 01:29:46,332 You know, this is a very complicated case, Maude. 1270 01:29:46,416 --> 01:29:49,459 Lotta ins, lotta outs. You know, fortunately, 1271 01:29:49,543 --> 01:29:52,045 I'm adhering to a pretty strict... 1272 01:29:52,129 --> 01:29:55,299 drug regiment to keep my mind, you know, 1273 01:29:55,382 --> 01:29:57,175 uh, limber, you know. 1274 01:29:57,259 --> 01:29:59,303 Very close to your father's money. 1275 01:29:59,386 --> 01:30:03,264 It's the Foundation's money. Father doesn't have any. 1276 01:30:05,141 --> 01:30:07,810 What are you talking about? He's loaded. 1277 01:30:07,893 --> 01:30:10,646 No, no, the wealth was all mother's. 1278 01:30:10,730 --> 01:30:12,940 No, he runs stuff, uh... 1279 01:30:13,024 --> 01:30:16,443 We did let him run a company, but he didn't do very well. 1280 01:30:16,526 --> 01:30:19,529 - No, he's... - He administers the charities, 1281 01:30:19,613 --> 01:30:22,657 and I give him a reasonable allowance. 1282 01:30:22,741 --> 01:30:24,659 He has no money of his own. 1283 01:30:24,743 --> 01:30:28,204 I know how he presents himself. Father's weakness is vanity. 1284 01:30:28,288 --> 01:30:33,918 - Hence, the slut. - Uh, do you think he, uh... 1285 01:30:35,210 --> 01:30:37,296 What is that, yoga? 1286 01:30:37,379 --> 01:30:39,882 It increases the chances of conception. 1287 01:30:41,508 --> 01:30:43,760 - Increases? - Well, yes. 1288 01:30:43,843 --> 01:30:47,013 What did you think this was about? Fun and games? 1289 01:30:47,096 --> 01:30:49,515 I want a child. 1290 01:30:49,599 --> 01:30:51,893 OK, yeah, OK, but let me... 1291 01:30:51,976 --> 01:30:55,355 Let me explain something about the Dude. 1292 01:30:55,437 --> 01:30:58,231 Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. 1293 01:30:58,315 --> 01:31:02,235 I don't want the father to be someone I have to see, 1294 01:31:02,319 --> 01:31:06,323 or who has any interest in raising the child himself. 1295 01:31:06,406 --> 01:31:09,325 Oh, so that doctor... 1296 01:31:09,408 --> 01:31:11,410 Exactly. 1297 01:31:11,494 --> 01:31:13,663 Now, what happened to your face? 1298 01:31:13,746 --> 01:31:16,499 Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well? 1299 01:31:16,582 --> 01:31:20,461 No, uh, it was the Chief of Police of Malibu. 1300 01:31:20,544 --> 01:31:24,130 A real reactionary. So, your father... 1301 01:31:25,799 --> 01:31:29,010 - Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah. - What? 1302 01:31:29,094 --> 01:31:31,471 Oh, man, my thinking about this case 1303 01:31:31,554 --> 01:31:35,432 had become very uptight. Yeah, your father. 1304 01:31:37,268 --> 01:31:39,853 Jeffrey, what are you talking about? 1305 01:31:41,522 --> 01:31:43,065 Jeffrey! 1306 01:31:43,148 --> 01:31:45,234 Walter, if you're there, 1307 01:31:45,317 --> 01:31:47,695 pick up the fucking phone. Come on. 1308 01:31:47,778 --> 01:31:50,488 Pick it up, man, this is an emergency. 1309 01:31:50,571 --> 01:31:51,948 'Dude?' 1310 01:31:52,031 --> 01:31:55,827 I'm at my place. I need you to come and pick me up. 1311 01:31:55,910 --> 01:31:58,413 'I can't drive, Dude, it's Erev Shabbos.' 1312 01:31:58,496 --> 01:32:00,248 - What? - 'Erev Shabbos.' 1313 01:32:00,331 --> 01:32:02,666 - 'I can't drive.' - Man! 1314 01:32:02,749 --> 01:32:05,419 'I'm not supposed to pick up the phone 1315 01:32:05,502 --> 01:32:08,255 - 'unless it's an emergency.' - This is a fucking emergency! 1316 01:32:08,338 --> 01:32:10,799 'That's why I picked up the phone.' 1317 01:32:10,882 --> 01:32:14,011 Walter, you fuck, we gotta go to Pasadena. 1318 01:32:14,094 --> 01:32:16,262 Pick me up or I'm off the bowling team. 1319 01:32:32,652 --> 01:32:35,488 Get out of that fucking car, man. 1320 01:32:35,572 --> 01:32:38,283 Get out of that fucking car! 1321 01:32:38,366 --> 01:32:40,869 Get the fuck out of the car, man. 1322 01:32:42,328 --> 01:32:44,538 Get out of the fucking... 1323 01:32:44,622 --> 01:32:46,665 Who the fuck are you, man? 1324 01:32:46,749 --> 01:32:50,628 Easy, man. Relax, man. No physical harm intended. 1325 01:32:50,711 --> 01:32:53,756 Who the fuck are you? Why are you following me around? 1326 01:32:53,839 --> 01:32:55,089 Come on, fuckhead. 1327 01:32:55,173 --> 01:32:57,383 Relax, man. I'm a brother Seamus. 1328 01:32:57,467 --> 01:32:59,761 Brother Seamus? 1329 01:32:59,844 --> 01:33:02,388 Like an Irish monk? 1330 01:33:02,472 --> 01:33:05,141 What the fuck are you talking about? 1331 01:33:05,224 --> 01:33:08,977 My name is Da Fino. I'm a private snoop, like you, man. 1332 01:33:09,061 --> 01:33:11,939 - What? - A dick, man. 1333 01:33:12,022 --> 01:33:15,400 Let me tell you something. I dig your work. 1334 01:33:15,484 --> 01:33:17,444 Playing one side against the other. 1335 01:33:17,527 --> 01:33:19,988 In bed with everybody. Fabulous stuff. 1336 01:33:20,072 --> 01:33:21,530 I'm not! Fuck it. 1337 01:33:21,614 --> 01:33:24,367 Just stay away from my lady friend. 1338 01:33:24,450 --> 01:33:26,953 I'm not messing with your special lady. 1339 01:33:27,036 --> 01:33:28,913 She's not my special lady. 1340 01:33:28,996 --> 01:33:31,082 I'm just helping her conceive. 1341 01:33:31,165 --> 01:33:33,584 - I'm not... - Who are you working for? 1342 01:33:33,668 --> 01:33:37,087 Lebowski? Jackie Treehorn? 1343 01:33:37,212 --> 01:33:38,964 The Knutsens. 1344 01:33:39,047 --> 01:33:43,343 The... who the fuck are the Knutsens? 1345 01:33:43,426 --> 01:33:46,930 The Knutsens. It's a wandering-daughter job. 1346 01:33:47,888 --> 01:33:50,808 Bunny Lebowski, man. 1347 01:33:50,891 --> 01:33:53,352 Her real name is Fawn Knutsen. 1348 01:33:53,435 --> 01:33:56,689 Her parents want her back. 1349 01:33:56,772 --> 01:33:59,191 Jesus fucking Christ. 1350 01:33:59,275 --> 01:34:01,442 Crazy, huh? Ran away about a year ago. 1351 01:34:01,526 --> 01:34:05,321 The Knutsens told me to show her this when I found her. 1352 01:34:05,405 --> 01:34:09,450 It's the family farm outside of Moorhead, Minnesota. 1353 01:34:09,534 --> 01:34:12,495 They think it'll make her homesick. 1354 01:34:12,579 --> 01:34:16,832 How are you gonna keep 'em down once they've seen Karl Hungus? 1355 01:34:16,915 --> 01:34:19,585 - She's been kidnapped, Da Fino. - Oh, man. 1356 01:34:19,668 --> 01:34:21,587 Maybe not, but she's not around. 1357 01:34:21,670 --> 01:34:26,300 Hey, maybe you and me could pool our resources. 1358 01:34:26,383 --> 01:34:30,469 Trade information. Professional courtesy. 1359 01:34:30,553 --> 01:34:32,680 Compeers, you know what I mean? 1360 01:34:32,763 --> 01:34:34,932 Yeah, yeah, I get it. Fuck off, Da Fino. 1361 01:34:35,016 --> 01:34:37,268 And stay away from my special... 1362 01:34:37,351 --> 01:34:40,186 from my fucking lady friend, man. 1363 01:34:42,188 --> 01:34:44,774 Ze lingonberry pancakes. 1364 01:34:48,904 --> 01:34:50,989 Lingonberry pancakes. 1365 01:34:54,658 --> 01:34:57,036 Sree pigs in blanket. 1366 01:35:03,125 --> 01:35:05,127 She has lingonberry pancakes. 1367 01:35:13,009 --> 01:35:15,470 We totally fucked it up, man. 1368 01:35:15,553 --> 01:35:19,223 We fucked up his payoff, we pissed off the kidnappers, 1369 01:35:19,307 --> 01:35:23,185 and Lebowski, he yelled at me but he didn't do anything, huh? 1370 01:35:23,268 --> 01:35:25,979 Well, sometimes it's a cathartic... 1371 01:35:26,063 --> 01:35:28,148 If he knows I'm a fuck-up, 1372 01:35:28,232 --> 01:35:31,151 why does he ask me to get his wife back? 1373 01:35:31,235 --> 01:35:33,778 Because he doesn't want her back. 1374 01:35:33,861 --> 01:35:37,031 He's had enough. He no longer digs her. 1375 01:35:37,114 --> 01:35:40,117 But then, why doesn't he give a shit 1376 01:35:40,201 --> 01:35:42,036 about his million bucks? 1377 01:35:42,119 --> 01:35:45,122 I mean, he knows we never handed off his briefcase, 1378 01:35:45,206 --> 01:35:46,957 but he never asked for it back. 1379 01:35:47,040 --> 01:35:50,335 The million bucks was never in the briefcase. 1380 01:35:50,418 --> 01:35:53,755 The briefcase was fucking empty, man. 1381 01:35:53,838 --> 01:35:56,967 The asshole was hoping that they would kill her. 1382 01:35:57,050 --> 01:35:59,802 You threw out a ringer for a ringer. 1383 01:35:59,885 --> 01:36:02,179 How does this add up to an emergency? 1384 01:36:02,263 --> 01:36:03,764 Huh? 1385 01:36:03,847 --> 01:36:06,433 I see what you're getting at, Dude, 1386 01:36:06,517 --> 01:36:09,353 he kept the money. My point is... 1387 01:36:09,436 --> 01:36:14,107 here we are, it's Shabbos, which I'm allowed to break 1388 01:36:14,190 --> 01:36:17,110 only if it's a matter of life or death. 1389 01:36:17,193 --> 01:36:19,529 Come off it. You're not even fucking Jewish. 1390 01:36:19,612 --> 01:36:22,073 What the fuck are you talking about? 1391 01:36:22,156 --> 01:36:24,158 You're fucking Polish-Catholic. 1392 01:36:24,242 --> 01:36:26,660 I converted when I married Cynthia. Come on. 1393 01:36:26,743 --> 01:36:29,371 - Yeah, yeah. - You know this. 1394 01:36:29,454 --> 01:36:31,957 Five years ago, you were divorced. 1395 01:36:32,040 --> 01:36:34,626 So when you get divorced, you return your library card? 1396 01:36:34,710 --> 01:36:37,421 You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? 1397 01:36:37,504 --> 01:36:41,382 - This is the driveway. - I'm Jewish as fucking Tevye. 1398 01:36:41,465 --> 01:36:45,136 Man, it's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing. 1399 01:36:45,219 --> 01:36:49,098 Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. 1400 01:36:49,181 --> 01:36:50,725 You're living in the past. 1401 01:36:50,808 --> 01:36:52,726 3,000 years of beautiful tradition 1402 01:36:52,809 --> 01:36:54,686 from Moses to Sandy Koufax, 1403 01:36:54,769 --> 01:36:59,649 damn right I'm living in the fucking past! I... Jesus. 1404 01:36:59,733 --> 01:37:02,235 What the hell happened? 1405 01:37:22,128 --> 01:37:23,880 Where was she, man? 1406 01:37:23,963 --> 01:37:25,965 Visiting friends in Palm Springs. 1407 01:37:26,049 --> 01:37:28,259 She just left. Never bothered to tell us. 1408 01:37:28,343 --> 01:37:31,095 I guess the nihilist knew where she was. 1409 01:37:31,179 --> 01:37:32,971 She never even kidnapped herself. 1410 01:37:33,055 --> 01:37:37,017 - Who is this gentleman, Dude? - Who am I? A fucking veteran. 1411 01:37:37,100 --> 01:37:39,853 You shouldn't go in, Dude. He's very angry. 1412 01:37:42,648 --> 01:37:44,690 So, man... 1413 01:37:44,774 --> 01:37:48,319 So, she's back, no thanks to you. 1414 01:37:48,402 --> 01:37:51,280 - Where's the fucking money? - A million bucks 1415 01:37:51,364 --> 01:37:55,284 from fucking needy little urban achievers! You are scum! 1416 01:37:55,368 --> 01:37:57,745 - Who the hell is he? - Who am I? 1417 01:37:57,827 --> 01:38:01,122 I'm the guy that's gonna kick your goldbricking ass! 1418 01:38:01,206 --> 01:38:04,918 The briefcase was empty. You kept the money for yourself. 1419 01:38:05,001 --> 01:38:07,003 You have your story, I have mine. 1420 01:38:07,087 --> 01:38:09,839 I entrusted the money to you, and you stole it. 1421 01:38:09,923 --> 01:38:13,342 As if we would ever take your bullshit money! 1422 01:38:13,425 --> 01:38:17,096 You thought Bunny had been kidnapped, and you were glad. 1423 01:38:17,179 --> 01:38:19,431 You could make some money disappear. 1424 01:38:19,515 --> 01:38:22,184 You needed was a sap to pin it on. 1425 01:38:22,268 --> 01:38:26,145 You just met me. You... human paraquat! 1426 01:38:26,229 --> 01:38:28,439 You figured, "Oh, here's a loser." 1427 01:38:28,523 --> 01:38:31,859 Somebody the square community won't give a shit about. 1428 01:38:31,943 --> 01:38:36,322 - Well, aren't you? - Well, yeah, but... 1429 01:38:37,614 --> 01:38:39,074 Get out, both of you. 1430 01:38:39,157 --> 01:38:42,578 Look at that phony. Pretending to be a millionaire. 1431 01:38:42,661 --> 01:38:44,580 Out of this house now, you bums! 1432 01:38:44,663 --> 01:38:46,373 Let me tell you something. 1433 01:38:46,456 --> 01:38:48,834 I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, 1434 01:38:48,917 --> 01:38:52,420 and this guy's a fake. A fucking goldbricker. 1435 01:38:52,503 --> 01:38:55,798 - Stay away from me! - This guy fucking walks. 1436 01:38:55,882 --> 01:38:58,843 - I've never been more certain. - Stay away! 1437 01:38:58,926 --> 01:39:02,263 Walter, for Christ's sake, man, he's a cripple. 1438 01:39:02,346 --> 01:39:04,264 Get away from me! 1439 01:39:06,099 --> 01:39:09,394 - Put him down, man! - Yeah, I'll put him down! 1440 01:39:09,477 --> 01:39:11,605 Rauss! Achtung, baby! 1441 01:39:27,786 --> 01:39:31,039 Come on, help me put him back in his chair. 1442 01:39:51,099 --> 01:39:53,477 Sure, you'll see some tank battles. 1443 01:39:53,560 --> 01:39:56,271 Fighting in desert is very different 1444 01:39:56,355 --> 01:40:00,441 from fighting in jungle. 'Nam was a foot soldier's war, 1445 01:40:00,524 --> 01:40:04,612 whereas this thing should, you know, be a piece of cake. 1446 01:40:04,695 --> 01:40:08,532 I mean, I had an M16 Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. 1447 01:40:08,616 --> 01:40:11,034 Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball. 1448 01:40:11,117 --> 01:40:13,870 - Yeah. - That's fuckin' combat. 1449 01:40:13,954 --> 01:40:16,623 The man in the black pajamas, Dude. 1450 01:40:16,706 --> 01:40:19,125 Worthy fuckin' adversary. 1451 01:40:19,209 --> 01:40:22,754 - Who's in pajamas, Walter? - Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1452 01:40:22,837 --> 01:40:24,797 Whereas, what we have here... 1453 01:40:24,880 --> 01:40:27,341 Fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, 1454 01:40:27,424 --> 01:40:29,718 trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank. 1455 01:40:29,802 --> 01:40:32,096 - This... this is not a worthy... - Hey! 1456 01:40:32,179 --> 01:40:34,515 What's this day-of-rest shit? 1457 01:40:34,598 --> 01:40:37,559 What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! 1458 01:40:37,642 --> 01:40:41,312 It don't matter to Jesus. But you not fooling me, man. 1459 01:40:41,396 --> 01:40:43,606 You might fool the league office, 1460 01:40:43,690 --> 01:40:46,234 but you don't fool Jesus. 1461 01:40:46,317 --> 01:40:48,945 It's bush league psyche-out stuff. 1462 01:40:49,028 --> 01:40:51,405 Laughable, man. 1463 01:40:51,488 --> 01:40:54,741 I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. 1464 01:40:54,825 --> 01:40:58,829 I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. 1465 01:40:58,912 --> 01:41:03,040 Whoo! You got a date Wednesday, baby. 1466 01:41:06,544 --> 01:41:08,713 He's cracking. 1467 01:41:09,171 --> 01:41:10,715 The whole concept of Asia. 1468 01:41:10,798 --> 01:41:13,050 Many learned men have disputed this, 1469 01:41:13,134 --> 01:41:16,386 but in the 14th Century, the Rabahm, he... 1470 01:41:25,145 --> 01:41:27,439 Well, they finally did it. 1471 01:41:27,522 --> 01:41:29,732 They killed my fucking car. 1472 01:41:29,815 --> 01:41:33,611 We want ze money, Lebowski. 1473 01:41:33,694 --> 01:41:35,946 Ja, otherwise, we kill ze girl. 1474 01:41:36,030 --> 01:41:39,533 Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal. 1475 01:41:39,617 --> 01:41:42,452 You don't have the fucking girl, dipshit. 1476 01:41:42,535 --> 01:41:45,205 We know you never did. 1477 01:41:45,288 --> 01:41:46,956 Are these the Nazis? 1478 01:41:47,040 --> 01:41:49,250 No, nihilists. Nothing to be afraid of. 1479 01:41:51,169 --> 01:41:54,756 Ve don't care. Ve still want the money, Lebowski, 1480 01:41:54,839 --> 01:41:57,007 or we'll fuck you up. 1481 01:41:57,090 --> 01:41:59,801 Fuck you. Fuck the three of yous. 1482 01:41:59,885 --> 01:42:03,513 No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. 1483 01:42:03,597 --> 01:42:06,808 That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules. 1484 01:42:06,892 --> 01:42:09,143 His girlfriend gave up her toe. 1485 01:42:09,227 --> 01:42:11,854 She zought we'd be getting $1 million. 1486 01:42:11,938 --> 01:42:13,189 It's not fair. 1487 01:42:13,272 --> 01:42:16,359 Fair? Who's the fucking nihilist around here, 1488 01:42:16,442 --> 01:42:18,528 you bunch of fucking crybabies. 1489 01:42:18,611 --> 01:42:22,697 Cool it, Walter. Hey, look, pal, there never was any money. 1490 01:42:22,781 --> 01:42:25,116 The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, 1491 01:42:25,200 --> 01:42:27,035 so take it up with him, man. 1492 01:42:27,118 --> 01:42:29,538 I would like my undies back. 1493 01:42:29,621 --> 01:42:32,874 - Are these guys gonna hurt us? - No, these men are cowards. 1494 01:42:32,958 --> 01:42:36,293 OK, so we take ze money you have on you 1495 01:42:36,377 --> 01:42:38,337 and we calls it even. 1496 01:42:39,129 --> 01:42:40,965 Fuck you. 1497 01:42:41,048 --> 01:42:44,510 No, Walter, come on. We're ending this cheap, man. 1498 01:42:44,593 --> 01:42:47,471 - No, what's mine is mine. - Come on, Walter. 1499 01:42:47,555 --> 01:42:51,641 - No funny stuff. - All right, I got... 1500 01:42:51,724 --> 01:42:54,686 - uh, 4 bucks, almost 5. - I got $18. 1501 01:42:54,769 --> 01:42:56,771 What's mine is mine. 1502 01:42:56,854 --> 01:42:59,482 We fuck you up, man. We takes the money. 1503 01:42:59,566 --> 01:43:01,984 Come and get it. 1504 01:43:02,609 --> 01:43:04,903 We fuck you up. 1505 01:43:04,987 --> 01:43:06,947 Show me what you got, nihilist. 1506 01:43:07,030 --> 01:43:08,532 I fuck you. 1507 01:43:08,615 --> 01:43:10,200 Come on, he's got a sword. 1508 01:43:10,284 --> 01:43:12,119 Dipshit with a nine-toed woman. 1509 01:43:12,202 --> 01:43:15,413 Fuck you! Fuck you! 1510 01:43:15,496 --> 01:43:17,123 I fuck you, I! 1511 01:43:22,461 --> 01:43:24,547 Take it easy, man. Here's the $4. 1512 01:43:30,927 --> 01:43:32,929 I got a fucking ball, man. 1513 01:43:38,643 --> 01:43:40,770 Anti-Semite! 1514 01:43:40,854 --> 01:43:43,022 I fuck you in ze ass. 1515 01:43:43,105 --> 01:43:46,609 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1516 01:43:46,692 --> 01:43:48,319 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1517 01:43:54,782 --> 01:43:56,910 We got a man down, Dude. 1518 01:44:00,330 --> 01:44:02,540 God, they shot him, man. 1519 01:44:02,624 --> 01:44:04,584 - No, Dude. - They shot Donny? 1520 01:44:04,667 --> 01:44:07,836 There weren't any shots fired. It's a heart attack. 1521 01:44:07,920 --> 01:44:10,297 Call the medics, Dude. 1522 01:44:10,380 --> 01:44:13,926 I'd go myself, but I'm pumping blood. Might pass out. 1523 01:44:14,009 --> 01:44:17,638 Rest easy, good buddy, you're doing fine. 1524 01:44:17,721 --> 01:44:19,890 We got help choppering in. 1525 01:44:46,623 --> 01:44:49,416 Hello, gentlemen. You are the bereaved? 1526 01:44:49,500 --> 01:44:51,335 Yeah, man. 1527 01:44:51,418 --> 01:44:53,462 Francis Donnelly. Pleased to meet you. 1528 01:44:53,546 --> 01:44:55,089 Jeff Lebowski. 1529 01:44:55,172 --> 01:44:56,757 Walter Sobchak. 1530 01:44:56,840 --> 01:44:59,510 The Dude, actually, is, uh... 1531 01:44:59,593 --> 01:45:02,220 - Excuse me? - Oh, nothing. 1532 01:45:02,303 --> 01:45:08,017 Yes, I understand you're taking away the remains. 1533 01:45:08,101 --> 01:45:09,644 Yeah. 1534 01:45:09,727 --> 01:45:12,230 We have the urn. 1535 01:45:12,313 --> 01:45:15,649 I assume this is credit card. 1536 01:45:16,775 --> 01:45:18,235 Yeah. 1537 01:45:32,456 --> 01:45:34,750 What's this? 1538 01:45:34,834 --> 01:45:36,711 That's for the urn. 1539 01:45:36,794 --> 01:45:39,213 Don't need it. We're scattering the ashes. 1540 01:45:39,297 --> 01:45:41,339 Yes, so we were informed. 1541 01:45:41,423 --> 01:45:43,800 However, we must, of course, 1542 01:45:43,884 --> 01:45:47,095 transmit the remains to you in a receptacle. 1543 01:45:48,430 --> 01:45:50,432 This is $180. 1544 01:45:50,515 --> 01:45:54,435 It is our most... modestly priced receptacle. 1545 01:45:54,518 --> 01:45:56,979 - Can we just, uh... - $180? 1546 01:45:57,062 --> 01:46:01,025 - They range up to 3,000. - Uh, we're, uh, ahem... 1547 01:46:01,108 --> 01:46:03,235 Can't we just rent it from you? 1548 01:46:03,319 --> 01:46:06,071 Sir, this is a mortuary, not a rental house. 1549 01:46:06,154 --> 01:46:07,697 We're scattering the ashes! 1550 01:46:07,780 --> 01:46:10,867 Just because we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps! 1551 01:46:10,950 --> 01:46:13,703 Sir, please, lower your voices. 1552 01:46:13,786 --> 01:46:15,830 Man, don't you have, you know, 1553 01:46:15,914 --> 01:46:19,666 something else we could put him in, you know? 1554 01:46:19,750 --> 01:46:22,336 That is our most... modestly priced receptacle. 1555 01:46:22,419 --> 01:46:23,962 Goddamn it! 1556 01:46:25,714 --> 01:46:27,925 Is there a Ralph's around here? 1557 01:46:54,574 --> 01:46:58,286 Donny was a good bowler and a good man. 1558 01:46:58,370 --> 01:47:00,663 He was one of us. 1559 01:47:00,746 --> 01:47:05,084 He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling. 1560 01:47:05,167 --> 01:47:07,419 As a surfer, he explored the beaches 1561 01:47:07,503 --> 01:47:09,380 of Southern California, 1562 01:47:09,463 --> 01:47:14,676 from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. 1563 01:47:14,759 --> 01:47:19,681 He died... he died as so many men of his generation, 1564 01:47:19,764 --> 01:47:21,558 before his time. 1565 01:47:21,641 --> 01:47:24,769 In your wisdom, Lord, you took him. 1566 01:47:24,853 --> 01:47:28,355 As you took so many bright, flowering young men 1567 01:47:28,438 --> 01:47:33,861 at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc, and Hill 364. 1568 01:47:33,944 --> 01:47:36,321 These young men gave their lives. 1569 01:47:36,405 --> 01:47:38,614 So did Donny. 1570 01:47:40,366 --> 01:47:43,369 Donny who loved bowling. 1571 01:47:45,037 --> 01:47:47,623 And so... 1572 01:47:47,707 --> 01:47:50,585 Theodore Donald Karabotsos, 1573 01:47:50,668 --> 01:47:55,380 in accordance with what we think 1574 01:47:55,463 --> 01:47:57,799 your dying wishes might well have been, 1575 01:47:57,883 --> 01:48:01,761 we commit your final, mortal remains 1576 01:48:01,845 --> 01:48:05,723 to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, 1577 01:48:05,806 --> 01:48:08,684 which you loved so well. 1578 01:48:10,477 --> 01:48:12,438 Goodnight, sweet prince. 1579 01:48:26,701 --> 01:48:28,912 Shit. 1580 01:48:30,705 --> 01:48:33,665 Oh, shit, Dude, I'm sorry. 1581 01:48:34,374 --> 01:48:37,920 - Goddamn wind. - Goddamn it, Walter. 1582 01:48:38,003 --> 01:48:40,422 - You fucking asshole! - Dude, I'm sorry. 1583 01:48:40,506 --> 01:48:42,966 Everything's a fucking travesty with you. 1584 01:48:43,050 --> 01:48:44,759 Sorry. It was an accident. 1585 01:48:44,842 --> 01:48:46,594 What was that shit about Vietnam? 1586 01:48:46,677 --> 01:48:50,056 What does anything have to do with Vietnam? 1587 01:48:50,139 --> 01:48:51,974 What the fuck were you talking about? 1588 01:48:52,058 --> 01:48:54,018 Dude, I'm sorry. 1589 01:48:55,895 --> 01:48:58,146 Fuckin'... 1590 01:49:03,777 --> 01:49:06,029 Fuck, Walter. 1591 01:49:06,655 --> 01:49:11,534 Come on, Dude. Hey, fuck it, man. 1592 01:49:15,246 --> 01:49:17,790 Let's go bowling. 1593 01:50:11,298 --> 01:50:13,258 Two oat sodas, Gary. 1594 01:50:13,341 --> 01:50:15,802 - Good luck tomorrow. - Yeah, thanks, man. 1595 01:50:15,886 --> 01:50:18,137 I'm sorry to hear about Donny. 1596 01:50:18,220 --> 01:50:21,599 Oh, well, yeah, you know, 1597 01:50:21,682 --> 01:50:25,144 sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes, you know... 1598 01:50:25,227 --> 01:50:27,146 Hey, man! 1599 01:50:27,229 --> 01:50:29,190 Howdy doo, Dude. 1600 01:50:29,273 --> 01:50:31,733 I wondered if I'd see you again. 1601 01:50:31,816 --> 01:50:35,236 I wouldn't miss the semis. How have things been going? 1602 01:50:35,320 --> 01:50:38,239 Strikes and gutters, ups and downs. 1603 01:50:38,323 --> 01:50:41,743 - Sure. I gotcha. - Yeah. 1604 01:50:41,826 --> 01:50:43,744 Thanks, Gary. 1605 01:50:43,827 --> 01:50:46,497 Well, take care, man. Gotta get back. 1606 01:50:46,580 --> 01:50:49,208 - Sure. Take it easy, Dude. - Oh, yeah. 1607 01:50:49,291 --> 01:50:51,376 I know that you will. 1608 01:50:51,460 --> 01:50:55,464 Yeah, well, the Dude abides. 1609 01:51:01,177 --> 01:51:04,305 The Dude abides. 1610 01:51:07,099 --> 01:51:11,770 I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. 1611 01:51:11,853 --> 01:51:15,857 It's good knowing he's out there, the Dude. 1612 01:51:15,941 --> 01:51:19,027 Takin' her easy for all us sinners. 1613 01:51:19,110 --> 01:51:21,279 Shoosh. 1614 01:51:21,363 --> 01:51:24,657 I sure hope he makes the finals. 1615 01:51:24,740 --> 01:51:29,495 Well, that about does her. Wraps her all up. 1616 01:51:29,578 --> 01:51:34,416 Things seem to have worked out good for the Dude and Walter. 1617 01:51:34,500 --> 01:51:38,211 It was a pretty good story, don't you think? 1618 01:51:38,294 --> 01:51:41,381 Made me laugh to beat the band. 1619 01:51:41,464 --> 01:51:43,758 Parts, anyway. 1620 01:51:43,842 --> 01:51:47,262 I didn't like seeing Donny go. 1621 01:51:47,345 --> 01:51:50,013 But then I happen to know 1622 01:51:50,097 --> 01:51:53,600 that there's a little Lebowski on the way. 1623 01:51:53,684 --> 01:51:57,521 I guess that's how the whole darn human comedy 1624 01:51:57,604 --> 01:52:00,691 keeps perpetuating itself 1625 01:52:00,774 --> 01:52:03,568 down through the generations. 1626 01:52:03,651 --> 01:52:05,653 Westward the wagons, 1627 01:52:05,736 --> 01:52:08,823 across the sands of time until we... 1628 01:52:08,906 --> 01:52:10,950 Oh, look at me. 1629 01:52:11,033 --> 01:52:13,744 I'm ramblin' again. 1630 01:52:13,828 --> 01:52:16,496 Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. 1631 01:52:16,580 --> 01:52:19,583 Catch ya later on down the trail. 1632 01:52:19,666 --> 01:52:24,004 Say, friend, you got any more of that good Sarsaparilla? 1633 01:57:01,552 --> 01:57:06,973 DVD subtitles by European Captioning Institute