1
00:00:47,235 --> 00:00:49,862
You've reached
Doug. Sorry I missed your call.

2
00:00:50,030 --> 00:00:52,197
Please leave a name and number
and I'll get back to you.

3
00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:02,624
Hi, you've reached
Dr. Stuart Price with Divine Dentistry.

4
00:01:02,792 --> 00:01:05,127
Please leave a message after...

5
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,093
Hey, this is Phil.

6
00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:16,305
Leave me a message or don't.
Do me a favor, don't text me. It's gay.

7
00:01:17,932 --> 00:01:19,308
- Anything?
- I tried them all.

8
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,560
It keeps going straight to voicemail.

9
00:01:21,728 --> 00:01:23,479
Well, there has to be an explanation.

10
00:01:23,646 --> 00:01:26,440
Sweetie, it's Vegas.
You lose track of time in casinos.

11
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,985
There's no windows, there's no clocks.
He's probably on a heater.

12
00:01:30,153 --> 00:01:34,323
And you never walk away from the table
when you're on a heater.

13
00:01:34,491 --> 00:01:36,325
You do if you're getting married.

14
00:01:38,536 --> 00:01:40,788
- Hello?
- Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.

15
00:01:41,414 --> 00:01:42,998
Phil, where the hell are you guys?

16
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,417
I'm freaking out.

17
00:01:45,585 --> 00:01:47,002
Yeah, listen.

18
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:48,629
Uh...

19
00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:52,174
We fucked up.

20
00:01:52,342 --> 00:01:57,262
- What are you talking about?
- The bachelor party, the whole night. It...

21
00:01:57,514 --> 00:02:00,432
Things got out of control, uh...

22
00:02:02,352 --> 00:02:03,852
and we lost Doug.

23
00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:06,772
- What?
- We can't find Doug.

24
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:10,359
What are you saying, Phil?
We're getting married in five hours.

25
00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:12,653
Yeah.

26
00:02:13,738 --> 00:02:15,948
That's not gonna happen.

27
00:03:45,371 --> 00:03:46,997
To my left a little.

28
00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:48,790
Thank you.

29
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:50,417
Okey-dokey.

30
00:03:54,589 --> 00:03:57,382
- Whoa, watch it, pervert!
- Alan, he's just doing your inseam.

31
00:03:57,550 --> 00:04:03,180
- He's getting very close to my shaft.
- All done. You can change now.

32
00:04:03,348 --> 00:04:06,725
Right. Thanks, Floyd.
Thank you very much.

33
00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:09,853
All right, buddy,
we should get a move on.

34
00:04:10,021 --> 00:04:14,107
You know, Doug, I was thinking...

35
00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:17,402
If you wanna go to Vegas without me,
that is totally cool, you know?

36
00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:19,321
What are you talking about?

37
00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:22,991
You know, Phil and Stu, they're
your buddies, and it's your bachelor party.

38
00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:25,244
Come on, Alan. Those two love you.

39
00:04:25,411 --> 00:04:28,330
And also, I don't want you to feel
like you have to hold back...

40
00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:30,916
because your wife's brother's there.
I just...

41
00:04:31,084 --> 00:04:33,001
It's not like that.

42
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,257
It's not like that. I already told you, Alan.

43
00:04:38,424 --> 00:04:42,511
Okay? We're just spending the night
in Vegas. It's no big deal.

44
00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:46,848
Besides, you're not just my wife's brother,
you're my brother now.

45
00:04:49,686 --> 00:04:53,063
I want you to know, Doug,
I'm a steel trap.

46
00:04:53,231 --> 00:04:57,526
Whatever happens tonight,
I will never, ever, ever, speak a word of it.

47
00:04:57,694 --> 00:05:00,362
Okay. Yeah, I got it. Thank you.
I don't think that...

48
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:03,490
Seriously. I don't care what happens.

49
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:06,368
- I don't care if we kill someone.
- What?

50
00:05:06,536 --> 00:05:09,037
You heard me. It's Sin City.

51
00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:12,457
I won't tell a soul.

52
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:15,335
Okay. I got it.

53
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,507
- Thank you.
No, thank you.

54
00:05:22,802 --> 00:05:24,886
I love you so much.

55
00:05:25,471 --> 00:05:27,639
- Ha. I knew it.
- Dad.

56
00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:29,349
Oh, stop it, I'm just jerking around.

57
00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:32,185
Alan, put some pants on.
You have weird legs.

58
00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:33,395
Yes, Daddy.

59
00:05:33,563 --> 00:05:35,439
- His legs look fine, Dad.
- Oh, please.

60
00:05:35,606 --> 00:05:39,443
He has his mother's legs. It's just freaky.

61
00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:46,992
Alan, I'm just teasing.
You have wonderful legs.

62
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,287
They're better than your mother's.
They're beautiful.

63
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:53,749
Can you believe this?
Just two more days.

64
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:57,044
I know. You getting nervous?

65
00:05:57,211 --> 00:05:59,546
- You wanna back out?
- Shut up.

66
00:05:59,714 --> 00:06:01,965
Just tell me. Oh. Mm.

67
00:06:03,092 --> 00:06:05,761
You know, I don't need to go to Vegas.
It's dumb.

68
00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:09,431
It's not dumb. It's one night.
Have fun, you deserve it.

69
00:06:09,599 --> 00:06:11,683
I know, but we should have
gone last weekend.

70
00:06:11,851 --> 00:06:14,686
We have so much to do.
I... I'm gonna cancel.

71
00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:17,731
My brother packed his bag two weeks ago.
You're not canceling.

72
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,149
- Really?
- Yeah.

73
00:06:19,317 --> 00:06:21,360
- Two weeks?
- Yeah, he's excited.

74
00:06:22,028 --> 00:06:24,446
Thanks again for bringing him,
by the way.

75
00:06:24,614 --> 00:06:27,282
You don't need to thank me,
it's nothing. He's a cool guy.

76
00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,618
It's not nothing
and he's not a cool guy...

77
00:06:29,786 --> 00:06:31,953
so thank you.

78
00:06:32,622 --> 00:06:34,456
Thank you.

79
00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:37,250
Thank you.

80
00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:43,673
Hey, Sid.

81
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:48,136
I just wanted to thank you guys again
for everything you're doing this weekend.

82
00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:50,555
- We couldn't be more excited.
- Ah, that's great.

83
00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:54,476
Yeah, okay. You love us
and we love you. Terrific.

84
00:06:54,644 --> 00:06:56,520
So talk to me about Vegas.

85
00:06:56,687 --> 00:06:58,814
- Uh... It should be pretty mellow.
- Mm-hm.

86
00:06:58,981 --> 00:07:02,317
Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays,
have a few laughs.

87
00:07:02,485 --> 00:07:05,654
Yeah, some laughs. I got you.

88
00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:07,280
How you getting out there?

89
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:10,242
Uh, we're gonna take my car.
Gonna pick up my friends after this.

90
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:13,829
- Prius? You're taking a Prius to Vegas?
- Yeah.

91
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:16,665
You know, when you go to Vegas...

92
00:07:16,999 --> 00:07:18,166
you gotta go to Vegas.

93
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:20,419
No. Sid.

94
00:07:23,756 --> 00:07:27,467
- Really?
- Come on, we're family now.

95
00:07:28,136 --> 00:07:31,763
- You sure? I mean, you love this car.
- Doug, it's just a car.

96
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:36,309
Just make sure to put some Armor All
on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in.

97
00:07:36,477 --> 00:07:38,687
Absolutely. That's easy.

98
00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:43,442
Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive,
because there's something wrong with him.

99
00:07:43,609 --> 00:07:44,651
Understood.

100
00:07:44,819 --> 00:07:47,320
Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.

101
00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:51,950
I will be the only one driving this car.
I promise.

102
00:07:52,118 --> 00:07:53,160
Good.

103
00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:56,371
Remember, what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas.

104
00:07:56,789 --> 00:07:58,039
Ah!

105
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:02,752
Except for herpes.
That shit'll come back with you.

106
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:06,673
All right. Hold on. I still need
some of your permission slips...

107
00:08:06,841 --> 00:08:10,302
and $90 for the field trip
to the Griffith Observatory next weekend.

108
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:14,473
Pay now, or forever regret missing out
on the experience of a lifetime, guys.

109
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,849
You're good, you got it.

110
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,809
- Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.
- Thank you. Hey.

111
00:08:17,977 --> 00:08:19,686
You really came through,
thank you.

112
00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:22,981
Whoa, Max. What gives?
What, no planetarium?

113
00:08:23,149 --> 00:08:25,400
My mom won't give me the money.
I'm grounded.

114
00:08:25,568 --> 00:08:27,694
- Well, how much you got on you?
- I don't know.

115
00:08:27,862 --> 00:08:30,197
Like, 20 bucks.

116
00:08:30,364 --> 00:08:32,741
Well, give me the 20
and I'll cover the rest.

117
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:36,495
- Really?
- Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it.

118
00:08:36,662 --> 00:08:38,663
But give me the 20
so I know you're serious.

119
00:08:38,831 --> 00:08:41,583
- Cool. Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.
- Yeah.

120
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:03,271
Hold on, I got it.

121
00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:06,107
Ahem, do you have to park so close?

122
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:09,110
- Yeah. What's wrong?
- I shouldn't be here.

123
00:09:09,278 --> 00:09:10,362
Why is that, Alan?

124
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:13,949
I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet
of a school.

125
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:17,494
- What?
- Or a Chuck E. Cheese.

126
00:09:21,123 --> 00:09:23,041
- Mr. Wenneck, I was...
- It's the weekend.

127
00:09:23,209 --> 00:09:25,126
I don't know you. You do not exist.

128
00:09:26,295 --> 00:09:28,129
- Shit.
- Heh, heh, heh.

129
00:09:28,297 --> 00:09:29,965
- Nice car.
- Yeah.

130
00:09:30,132 --> 00:09:31,800
- I'm driving.
- Whoa, no chance, buddy...

131
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,052
Don't step... God. Watch the leath...

132
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:37,013
Shut up and drive before these nerds
ask me another question.

133
00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:38,807
- Animal.
- Who's this?

134
00:09:38,975 --> 00:09:42,143
- It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
- I met you, like, four times.

135
00:09:42,311 --> 00:09:44,604
Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?

136
00:09:45,314 --> 00:09:47,148
Don't forget your Rogaine.

137
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:50,652
Rogaine, check.

138
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:53,029
And don't forget to use it.

139
00:09:53,197 --> 00:09:56,491
I can totally tell when you forget,
your hair just looks thinner.

140
00:09:57,285 --> 00:10:00,203
Using of the Rogaine, check.

141
00:10:00,371 --> 00:10:02,914
Make sure to call me
right when you get to the hotel...

142
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:05,625
not like that conference in Phoenix.

143
00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:08,295
I had to wait two hours
for you to call me.

144
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:11,131
Yeah, I was the keynote speaker.
I was late to the podium.

145
00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:14,509
- Still?
- Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.

146
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,513
- What is the matter?
- I don't know.

147
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:21,433
I hope you're not gonna go to
some strip club when you're up there.

148
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,269
Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley.

149
00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:27,063
I don't even think they have strip clubs
in wine country.

150
00:10:27,231 --> 00:10:31,192
Well, I'm sure if there is one,
Phil will sniff it out.

151
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,654
It's not gonna be like that.

152
00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:36,698
Besides, you know how I feel about that.

153
00:10:36,866 --> 00:10:40,785
I know, I know. It's just boys
and their bachelor parties, it's gross.

154
00:10:40,953 --> 00:10:45,206
You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm.

155
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:48,501
And you know what else, honestly?

156
00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:53,381
Why would I risk this for,
you know, a couple of minutes...

157
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:58,637
of some 19-year-old hard body
in a schoolgirl outfit?

158
00:10:59,096 --> 00:11:00,972
- Yeah.
- Why would I ever need, like...

159
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:04,059
- You're right. And if you ever do...
- What?

160
00:11:04,226 --> 00:11:06,353
I will fucking kick your ass.

161
00:11:07,897 --> 00:11:10,857
Thank you. Thank you for that.

162
00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:14,402
That is exactly what I needed to hear.

163
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:16,112
Not to mention it's pathetic.

164
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,741
Those places are filthy.
And the worst part is...

165
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:22,118
that little girl...

166
00:11:22,286 --> 00:11:25,997
grinding and dry humping
the fucking stage up there...

167
00:11:26,749 --> 00:11:29,918
that's somebody's daughter up there.
- I was just gonna say that.

168
00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:33,088
See? I just wish your friends
were as mature as you.

169
00:11:33,255 --> 00:11:36,466
They are mature, actually.
You just have to get to know them better.

170
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:39,469
Paging Dr. Faggot.

171
00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:44,099
Dr. Faggot!

172
00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:49,896
- I should go.
- That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.

173
00:11:51,649 --> 00:11:54,609
Have a good weekend.
I'm gonna miss you.

174
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:07,622
Whoo!

175
00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:10,166
Road trip!

176
00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:15,588
Vegas! Vegas, baby!

177
00:12:15,756 --> 00:12:16,840
Vegas!

178
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:20,218
You're nuts!

179
00:12:24,515 --> 00:12:27,225
Come on, just till Barstow.
Everybody's passing us.

180
00:12:27,393 --> 00:12:32,313
Absolutely not. I promised Sid.
I will be the only one driving this car.

181
00:12:32,481 --> 00:12:33,648
Besides, you're drinking.

182
00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:36,985
Oh, what are you, a cop now?
You know I drive great when I'm drunk.

183
00:12:37,153 --> 00:12:40,196
True. Don't forget,
Phil was always our designated drunk driver.

184
00:12:40,364 --> 00:12:42,741
Yeah. You wanna explain it
to them, Alan?

185
00:12:42,908 --> 00:12:46,035
Guys, my dad loves this car
more than he loves me, so, yeah.

186
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:49,456
Aw, whatever. I left my wife and kid
at home so I could go with you guys.

187
00:12:49,623 --> 00:12:52,167
- You know how difficult that was?
- That's really sweet.

188
00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:54,294
- Yeah.
- Dude, I was being sarcastic.

189
00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:55,545
I fucking hate my life.

190
00:12:55,713 --> 00:12:59,048
- I may never go back. I might stay in Vegas.
- Here we go.

191
00:12:59,216 --> 00:13:01,217
Doug, enjoy yourself,
because come Sunday...

192
00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:04,763
you're gonna start dying
just a little bit every day.

193
00:13:04,930 --> 00:13:08,850
Yeah. That's why I've managed
to stay single this whole time, you know?

194
00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:11,811
- Oh, really? That's why you're single?
- Yeah.

195
00:13:12,354 --> 00:13:13,938
Cool. Good to know.

196
00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:17,525
- Am I all right over there, Alan?
- Yeah, you're good.

197
00:13:21,363 --> 00:13:22,781
Aw, Jesus Christ!

198
00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:25,784
- Oh, my God!
- That was awesome!

199
00:13:25,951 --> 00:13:28,244
That was not awesome.
What's wrong with you?

200
00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:34,209
- That was insane. We almost just died.
- You should have seen your face.

201
00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:36,753
- Classic.
- That's funny. Ha-ha.

202
00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:38,671
It's not funny.

203
00:13:55,147 --> 00:13:59,234
- Boy, you've got a sweet ride there.
- Don't touch it.

204
00:14:00,611 --> 00:14:03,988
Don't even look at it. Go on, get out.

205
00:14:04,156 --> 00:14:07,200
You heard me.
Don't look at me, either.

206
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:12,413
Yeah, you better walk on.

207
00:14:12,581 --> 00:14:15,750
- He's actually kind of funny.
- Yeah, he means well.

208
00:14:15,918 --> 00:14:18,294
I'll hit an old man in public.

209
00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:21,464
Is he all there? Like, mentally?

210
00:14:21,632 --> 00:14:24,759
I think so. He's just an odd guy.
You know, he's kind of weird.

211
00:14:24,927 --> 00:14:26,511
- I mean, should we be worried?
- No.

212
00:14:26,679 --> 00:14:28,137
- All right.
- No.

213
00:14:28,597 --> 00:14:31,140
Tracy did mention
that we shouldn't let him gamble.

214
00:14:31,725 --> 00:14:32,934
Or drink too much.

215
00:14:33,102 --> 00:14:36,938
Jesus, he's like a gremlin.
Comes with instructions and shit.

216
00:14:37,106 --> 00:14:39,274
And one water.

217
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,609
- All good with Melissa?
- Oh, yeah.

218
00:14:41,777 --> 00:14:47,073
Told her we're two hours
outside of wine country, and she bought it.

219
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:50,285
You think it's strange you've been
in a relationship for years...

220
00:14:50,452 --> 00:14:52,078
and you have to lie about Vegas?

221
00:14:52,246 --> 00:14:54,956
Yeah, I do.
But trust me, it's not worth the fight.

222
00:14:55,124 --> 00:15:00,336
Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can
fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?

223
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,546
Hey.

224
00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:05,216
Okay, first of all, he was a bartender.

225
00:15:05,384 --> 00:15:06,634
And she was wasted.

226
00:15:07,469 --> 00:15:11,264
And, if you must know,
he didn't even come inside her.

227
00:15:11,765 --> 00:15:12,974
And you believe that?

228
00:15:13,475 --> 00:15:17,729
Uh, yeah, I do believe that,
because she's grossed out by semen.

229
00:15:18,188 --> 00:15:19,480
That'll be 32.50.

230
00:15:20,566 --> 00:15:22,817
It's 32.50, you gonna pay for it?

231
00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:30,116
It says here we should work in teams.
Who wants to be my spotter?

232
00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:33,953
I don't think you should be doing
too much gambling tonight, Alan.

233
00:15:34,121 --> 00:15:36,080
Gambling?
Who said anything about gambling?

234
00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:38,499
It's not gambling
when you know you're gonna win.

235
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,543
Counting cards is a foolproof system.

236
00:15:40,711 --> 00:15:42,253
It's also illegal.

237
00:15:42,421 --> 00:15:47,050
It's not illegal, it's frowned upon,
like masturbating on an airplane.

238
00:15:49,011 --> 00:15:50,637
I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.

239
00:15:50,804 --> 00:15:54,057
Yeah, maybe after 9/11,
where everybody got so sensitive.

240
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,685
Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.

241
00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:02,941
Either way, you gotta be super smart
to count cards, buddy, okay?

242
00:16:03,108 --> 00:16:04,359
- Oh, really?
- It's not easy.

243
00:16:04,526 --> 00:16:06,611
Well maybe we should tell that
to Rain Man...

244
00:16:06,779 --> 00:16:09,864
because he practically bankrupted
a casino, and he was a retard.

245
00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:11,199
What?

246
00:16:11,784 --> 00:16:13,034
He was a retard.

247
00:16:14,078 --> 00:16:15,119
Retard.

248
00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,745
Here we go.

249
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:00,957
Hi, welcome to Caesars.

250
00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:02,333
- Hello.
WO- Checking in?

251
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,877
Yeah. We have a reservation
under Dr. Price.

252
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:07,255
Okay, let me look that up for you.

253
00:17:07,423 --> 00:17:08,548
Dr. Price?

254
00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:12,677
Stu, you're a dentist, okay?
Don't try and get fancy.

255
00:17:12,845 --> 00:17:17,265
- It's not fancy if it's true.
- He's a dentist. Don't get too excited.

256
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:20,351
And if, uh, someone has a heart attack,
you should still call 911.

257
00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:22,228
We'll be sure to do that.

258
00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:25,773
Can I ask you a question?
Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly?

259
00:17:25,941 --> 00:17:28,818
- What do you mean?
- I'm not getting a sig on my beeper.

260
00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:32,280
- I'm not sure.
- Is there a payphone bank?

261
00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:35,450
Bunch of payphones? Business.

262
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,161
Um, there's a phone in your room.

263
00:17:39,204 --> 00:17:40,246
That'll work.

264
00:17:40,914 --> 00:17:44,292
So I have you in a two-bedroom suite
on the 12th floor, is that okay?

265
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:45,752
It sounds perfect.

266
00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:48,296
Actually, I was wondering
if you had any villas.

267
00:17:48,464 --> 00:17:51,049
- We're not even gonna be in the room.
- It's unnecessary.

268
00:17:51,216 --> 00:17:53,342
No big deal. We can share beds.
It's one night.

269
00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:55,553
If we're share beds,
I'm bunking with Phil.

270
00:17:56,638 --> 00:17:58,556
- You good with that?
- No, I'm not.

271
00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:02,143
Guys, we are not sharing beds.
What are we, 12 years old?

272
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:04,312
Lisa, I apologize.
How much is the villa?

273
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,440
Well, we have one villa available,
and it's 4200 for the night.

274
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,734
- Is it awesome?
- It's pretty awesome.

275
00:18:09,902 --> 00:18:14,113
- We'll take it. Give her your credit card.
- I can't give her my credit card.

276
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:17,742
- We'll split it.
- Are you crazy? No, this is on us.

277
00:18:19,161 --> 00:18:22,080
You don't get it.
Melissa checks my statements.

278
00:18:22,247 --> 00:18:23,873
We just need a credit card on file.

279
00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:27,126
We won't charge you until check out,
so you can figure it out then.

280
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:30,797
That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa.
We'll deal with it tomorrow. Come on.

281
00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:33,424
Fine.

282
00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:36,177
- Can I ask you another question?
- Sure.

283
00:18:36,345 --> 00:18:37,637
You probably get this a lot.

284
00:18:37,805 --> 00:18:40,014
This isn't the real Caesars Palace,
is it?

285
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:41,557
What do you mean?

286
00:18:42,851 --> 00:18:44,268
Did, uh...

287
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:48,314
- Did Caesar live here?
- Um, no.

288
00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:51,150
I didn't think so.

289
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:01,828
Holy shit.

290
00:19:03,205 --> 00:19:04,831
Now, this is Vegas.

291
00:19:04,998 --> 00:19:09,544
Oh, my... This place is enormous.

292
00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:10,795
Now we're talking.

293
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:13,840
Is this all one suite?

294
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,175
Thank you, guys.

295
00:19:16,343 --> 00:19:18,219
Or should I say, "Thank you, Stu"?

296
00:19:18,387 --> 00:19:20,471
You're welcome.
It's only because I love you.

297
00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:25,476
Hey, guys. Look, free almonds.

298
00:19:25,644 --> 00:19:28,104
- Oh, no, no, no. Please put those back.
- Wait, I'm just hungry.

299
00:19:28,272 --> 00:19:31,232
- Well, I know, but...
- Stu, what the fuck?

300
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,611
It's a pressure-sensitive plate. When you pick
it up, you have 30 seconds to put it back...

301
00:19:35,779 --> 00:19:37,780
or they bill you.
- That's pretty neat.

302
00:19:37,948 --> 00:19:40,408
It may be neat,
but it's also very expensive, so...

303
00:19:40,576 --> 00:19:42,869
Those almonds are probably, like, $14.

304
00:19:43,412 --> 00:19:44,912
Stu, relax.

305
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,416
Phil, Melissa is like
a forensic accountant, okay?

306
00:19:48,584 --> 00:19:50,751
She scours my statements.
If you want nuts...

307
00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:53,921
put your own credit card down.
- Watch this.

308
00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:59,385
Problem solved.
Alan, enjoy your almonds.

309
00:19:59,553 --> 00:20:01,929
I don't want them. He ruined it.

310
00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:07,018
All right, let's pick a room, let's get
dressed. Be ready in 30 minutes.

311
00:20:07,519 --> 00:20:12,440
I just wish you could see this place,
because you, of all people, would love it.

312
00:20:12,608 --> 00:20:15,943
Yeah. No, it's so quaint.

313
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,155
Yeah, no, there's no TVs, no phones.

314
00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:23,409
They just have these cute little antique
radios in all the rooms.

315
00:20:23,577 --> 00:20:25,203
Yeah.

316
00:20:26,163 --> 00:20:27,788
What else? Um...

317
00:20:28,332 --> 00:20:30,625
We met the, uh, proprietor.

318
00:20:30,792 --> 00:20:33,169
- Oh, I bet you...
- What's his name?

319
00:20:33,337 --> 00:20:34,629
Um, Caesar. Palacé.

320
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:37,298
Yeah, like the salad.

321
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:41,886
Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go,
because we're gonna hit this wine tasting.

322
00:20:42,054 --> 00:20:46,307
Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye.

323
00:20:46,892 --> 00:20:49,560
I'm not even gonna say anything,
it's so embarrassing.

324
00:20:49,728 --> 00:20:51,979
- Where's Alan?
- He, uh, he went downstairs.

325
00:20:52,147 --> 00:20:54,148
He said he had to grab a few things.

326
00:20:54,316 --> 00:20:59,487
Good, because I have something
to show you.

327
00:21:01,031 --> 00:21:02,323
Uh-Oh.

328
00:21:02,491 --> 00:21:04,492
- What the hell is that?
- What do you think?

329
00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:07,870
If it's what I think it is,
I think it's a big fucking mistake.

330
00:21:08,455 --> 00:21:11,666
I'm gonna propose to Melissa
at your wedding. After the ceremony.

331
00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:15,336
- Stuey, congratulations!
- Thank you, Doug.

332
00:21:15,879 --> 00:21:18,506
- That's a beautiful ring.
- Yeah. It's my grandmother's.

333
00:21:18,674 --> 00:21:21,634
She made it all the way through
the Holocaust with that thing.

334
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,679
Wait, have you not listened
to anything I have ever said?

335
00:21:24,846 --> 00:21:28,266
Phil, we've been dating for three years.
It's time. This is how it works.

336
00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,686
A, that is bullshit.
And B, she is a complete bitch.

337
00:21:31,853 --> 00:21:34,021
Hey, that's his fiancée.

338
00:21:34,189 --> 00:21:37,650
What? It's true. It's true.
You know it's true. She beats him.

339
00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:40,778
That was twice, and I was out of line.

340
00:21:40,946 --> 00:21:43,364
She's strong-willed. And I respect that.

341
00:21:43,532 --> 00:21:45,366
Wow. Wow.

342
00:21:45,534 --> 00:21:48,411
He's in denial.
Not to mention, she fucked a sailor.

343
00:21:48,578 --> 00:21:49,870
Hey, he wasn't a sailor.

344
00:21:50,622 --> 00:21:53,457
He was a bartender on a cruise ship.
You know that.

345
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:57,920
Guys, I'm standing right here.
So I can hear everything that you're saying.

346
00:21:58,088 --> 00:22:00,214
Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out?

347
00:22:00,382 --> 00:22:01,882
- What?
- Do what?

348
00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:03,384
Let the dogs out. You know.

349
00:22:06,555 --> 00:22:07,555
Who brought this guy?

350
00:22:07,723 --> 00:22:09,974
Yes, Alan, we are ready
to let the dogs out.

351
00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:13,060
- Hey, congrats.
- Thank you.

352
00:22:24,698 --> 00:22:26,907
I love this fucking town.

353
00:22:34,416 --> 00:22:37,084
- You're not really wearing that, are you?
- Wearing what?

354
00:22:37,252 --> 00:22:39,128
The man-purse.

355
00:22:39,296 --> 00:22:42,256
You're actually gonna wear that
or are you guys fucking with me?

356
00:22:42,424 --> 00:22:45,551
It's where I keep all my things.
I get a lot of compliments on this.

357
00:22:45,719 --> 00:22:47,970
Plus, it's not a man-purse.
It's called a satchel.

358
00:22:48,138 --> 00:22:49,263
Indiana Jones wears one.

359
00:22:50,515 --> 00:22:51,766
So does Joy Behar.

360
00:22:55,187 --> 00:22:57,688
- We're going up, guys.
- Yeah, that's perfect.

361
00:22:57,856 --> 00:22:59,523
Really?

362
00:22:59,691 --> 00:23:01,317
We're going up?

363
00:23:06,198 --> 00:23:08,866
I'm just saying,
it's clearly marked, okay?

364
00:23:09,034 --> 00:23:11,118
We are definitely
not supposed to be up here.

365
00:23:11,286 --> 00:23:14,538
Come on, we're paying for a villa.
We can do whatever the fuck we want.

366
00:23:14,706 --> 00:23:16,707
- Yeah, but...
- Just wedge the door open.

367
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:19,168
- Guys, come on up here.
- Fine.

368
00:23:23,006 --> 00:23:25,508
How the hell did you find this place?

369
00:23:25,675 --> 00:23:27,176
Don't worry about it.

370
00:23:27,344 --> 00:23:28,928
Oh!

371
00:23:29,971 --> 00:23:31,305
- You all right?
- Yeah.

372
00:23:31,473 --> 00:23:34,975
- Look at the view up here.
- You happy?

373
00:23:35,143 --> 00:23:36,394
- This is great.
- Whoa!

374
00:23:37,771 --> 00:23:38,813
Are you kidding?

375
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:41,357
- Alan, how we doing, buddy?
- Good.

376
00:23:41,525 --> 00:23:44,318
- What do you got over there, Alan?
- That's the Eiffel Tower.

377
00:23:45,487 --> 00:23:46,529
Uh-oh.

378
00:23:46,696 --> 00:23:48,406
- Right?
- A little Jägermeister.

379
00:23:48,573 --> 00:23:50,199
- Good idea.
- There it is. Good call.

380
00:23:50,367 --> 00:23:51,450
On the roof.

381
00:23:51,618 --> 00:23:55,538
Um, no, this is good.
I'd like to make a toast.

382
00:23:55,705 --> 00:23:57,665
To Doug and Tracy.

383
00:23:57,833 --> 00:24:00,626
May tonight be...

384
00:24:00,877 --> 00:24:03,087
but a minor speed bump...

385
00:24:03,255 --> 00:24:05,923
in an otherwise very long
and healthy marriage.

386
00:24:06,091 --> 00:24:07,508
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

387
00:24:07,676 --> 00:24:08,717
Short and sweet.

388
00:24:12,055 --> 00:24:13,305
Oh, it's like college.

389
00:24:13,473 --> 00:24:15,891
- All right. I wanna talk about something.
- All right.

390
00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:17,351
- I want to...
- I'd like to...

391
00:24:18,186 --> 00:24:20,563
I'd like to say something...

392
00:24:21,523 --> 00:24:23,357
that I prepared...

393
00:24:23,942 --> 00:24:26,235
tonight.
- All right, Alan.

394
00:24:30,532 --> 00:24:32,116
"Hello.

395
00:24:33,577 --> 00:24:35,619
How about that ride in?

396
00:24:35,787 --> 00:24:37,872
I guess that's why they call it
Sin City.

397
00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:45,254
You guys might not know this,
but I consider myself a bit of a loner.

398
00:24:45,422 --> 00:24:48,632
I tend to think of myself
as a one-man wolf pack.

399
00:24:50,385 --> 00:24:53,888
But when my sister brought Doug home,
I knew he was one of my own.

400
00:24:54,931 --> 00:24:58,684
And my wolf pack, it grew by one.

401
00:24:58,852 --> 00:25:01,645
So were there two...
So there were two of us in the wolf pack.

402
00:25:01,813 --> 00:25:06,108
I was alone first in the pack,
and then Doug joined in later.

403
00:25:07,068 --> 00:25:08,694
And six months ago...

404
00:25:08,862 --> 00:25:11,906
when Doug introduced me to you guys,
I thought:

405
00:25:12,073 --> 00:25:16,076
'Wait a second. Could it be? '
And now, I know for sure.

406
00:25:16,244 --> 00:25:18,871
I just added two more guys
to my wolf pack."

407
00:25:19,039 --> 00:25:21,248
- All right.
- All right.

408
00:25:21,416 --> 00:25:22,958
"Four of us wolves...

409
00:25:23,126 --> 00:25:27,046
running around the desert together
in Las Vegas...

410
00:25:27,214 --> 00:25:29,673
looking for strippers and cocaine."

411
00:25:29,841 --> 00:25:30,883
So tonight...

412
00:25:32,052 --> 00:25:33,093
I make a toast.
- Whoa.

413
00:25:33,261 --> 00:25:35,137
- What...?
- What do you got there?

414
00:25:35,305 --> 00:25:37,765
- Dude, what the fuck?
- What the hell are you doing?

415
00:25:41,686 --> 00:25:44,438
- What is that?
- Blood brothers.

416
00:25:44,606 --> 00:25:46,106
- Don't... Why did you...?
- Damn it.

417
00:25:46,274 --> 00:25:47,399
- Here.
- Alan...

418
00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:49,109
- No.
- No, I'm not doing that.

419
00:25:49,277 --> 00:25:50,819
- Go ahead, Stuart.
- Make him stop.

420
00:25:50,987 --> 00:25:53,531
Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves.
Give me the knife.

421
00:25:53,698 --> 00:25:56,450
Slowly. Thank you.
Okay. Thank you very much.

422
00:25:56,618 --> 00:25:58,452
- You all right? Are you okay?
- Mm-hm.

423
00:25:58,620 --> 00:26:00,287
- Do you need a doctor?
- He's good.

424
00:26:00,455 --> 00:26:01,622
- You sure?
- I'm good.

425
00:26:01,790 --> 00:26:04,583
All right, good,
because I need everybody to focus.

426
00:26:04,751 --> 00:26:08,587
I wanna take a moment, I wanna talk
about some... I wanna talk about memory.

427
00:26:08,755 --> 00:26:11,632
No, better yet,
I wanna talk about selective memory.

428
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:16,971
You see, whatever happens here tonight
may as well never have happened at all...

429
00:26:17,514 --> 00:26:20,474
because this circle's about as far
as it's ever gonna go.

430
00:26:20,642 --> 00:26:24,270
In other words, forget everything.

431
00:26:25,605 --> 00:26:27,273
Doug, I'm serious. I got a wife and kid.

432
00:26:28,358 --> 00:26:32,152
Okay, good or bad, we don't remember
so we got nothing to talk about.

433
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,155
Nothing, guys. Nothing.

434
00:26:35,657 --> 00:26:37,241
Deal?

435
00:26:37,409 --> 00:26:39,076
- Deal.
- Deal.

436
00:26:39,786 --> 00:26:43,664
- Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy.
- Get in here, crazy.

437
00:26:43,999 --> 00:26:48,210
All right, to a night
we'll never remember...

438
00:26:50,046 --> 00:26:52,923
but the four of us
will never forget.

439
00:26:57,679 --> 00:26:59,013
- There it is.
- Hear, hear.

440
00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:01,181
Hey, thanks, guys.

441
00:29:26,035 --> 00:29:27,161
Hm.

442
00:29:27,328 --> 00:29:29,496
Stupid tiger.

443
00:29:36,212 --> 00:29:37,963
What the fuck?

444
00:29:39,132 --> 00:29:42,009
Control yourself, man.
Goddamn, will you put on some pants?

445
00:29:42,177 --> 00:29:45,095
- Phil, do not go in the bathroom.
- AI, just calm down. It's me.

446
00:29:45,263 --> 00:29:47,681
Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom.

447
00:29:47,849 --> 00:29:50,517
- What's going on?
- There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!

448
00:29:50,685 --> 00:29:53,187
- Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out.
- Don't go in.

449
00:29:53,354 --> 00:29:56,148
Don't go in, don't go in.
Be careful. Don't, don't.

450
00:29:58,026 --> 00:30:00,652
- Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding.
- See? See?

451
00:30:00,820 --> 00:30:03,113
- There's a tiger in there.
- No, there isn't.

452
00:30:03,323 --> 00:30:04,656
Yeah!

453
00:30:04,824 --> 00:30:08,327
- It's big. Gigantic.
- You okay, buddy?

454
00:30:08,495 --> 00:30:11,038
No. I am in so much pain right now.

455
00:30:11,206 --> 00:30:14,625
Goddamn. Look at this place.

456
00:30:14,793 --> 00:30:15,834
Whew.

457
00:30:16,002 --> 00:30:20,339
I know. Phil, they have my credit card
downstairs. I am so screwed.

458
00:30:20,507 --> 00:30:23,175
How does a tiger get in the bathroom?
It almost killed me.

459
00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:25,219
Hey, bro?
You mind putting on some pants?

460
00:30:25,386 --> 00:30:27,429
I find it a little weird
I have to ask twice.

461
00:30:27,597 --> 00:30:30,224
Pants at a time like this?
I don't have any p...

462
00:30:31,434 --> 00:30:33,644
What the fuck happened last night?

463
00:30:33,812 --> 00:30:37,147
Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?

464
00:30:37,524 --> 00:30:40,609
I can't... Oh, shit.

465
00:30:42,904 --> 00:30:45,447
Oh, my God.

466
00:30:45,615 --> 00:30:47,574
My lateral incisor's... It's gone!

467
00:30:47,742 --> 00:30:51,995
It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down.
We're fine. Everything's fine.

468
00:30:52,163 --> 00:30:53,413
Alan, go wake up Doug.

469
00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:57,417
Let's get some coffee and get the fuck
out of Nevada before housekeeping shows.

470
00:30:57,585 --> 00:31:01,171
What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth.
I have no idea how it happened.

471
00:31:01,339 --> 00:31:02,631
You're freaking me out, man.

472
00:31:02,799 --> 00:31:05,259
I got a massive headache, okay?
Let's just calm down.

473
00:31:05,426 --> 00:31:08,011
How am I supposed to calm down?
Look around you.

474
00:31:08,471 --> 00:31:11,390
- Hey, guys, he's not in there.
- Did you check all the rooms?

475
00:31:11,558 --> 00:31:14,226
Yeah, I looked everywhere.
Plus, his mattress is gone.

476
00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:16,812
He probably went to the pool
to get something to eat.

477
00:31:16,980 --> 00:31:18,438
I'll just call his cell.

478
00:31:19,816 --> 00:31:22,067
I look like a nerdy hillbilly.

479
00:31:35,582 --> 00:31:37,374
- Hello?
- Alan.

480
00:31:37,542 --> 00:31:38,792
Hey.

481
00:31:39,752 --> 00:31:42,296
- It's Phil.
- Oh, hey, Phi...

482
00:31:42,964 --> 00:31:44,965
This is Doug's phone.
This is Doug's phone.

483
00:31:45,133 --> 00:31:46,133
- No shit.
- Yeah.

484
00:31:50,847 --> 00:31:53,348
What the fuck is that?

485
00:31:59,814 --> 00:32:01,440
Whose fucking baby is that?

486
00:32:01,608 --> 00:32:04,318
Alan, are you sure you didn't see
anyone else in the suite?

487
00:32:04,485 --> 00:32:06,528
Yeah, I checked all the rooms.
No one's here.

488
00:32:06,696 --> 00:32:08,989
Check its collar or something.

489
00:32:09,157 --> 00:32:11,033
Shh. Shh.

490
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,827
- It's okay, baby.
- Stu, we don't have time for this.

491
00:32:13,995 --> 00:32:16,663
Let's go hook up with Doug,
we'll deal with the baby later.

492
00:32:16,831 --> 00:32:18,999
Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby
in the room.

493
00:32:19,167 --> 00:32:22,002
- There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom.
- It's not our baby.

494
00:32:22,170 --> 00:32:24,087
Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.

495
00:32:24,255 --> 00:32:26,340
All right, fine.
Okay, we'll take it with us.

496
00:32:26,507 --> 00:32:28,675
Could you at least just find some pants?

497
00:32:36,142 --> 00:32:39,937
Why can't we remember a goddamn thing
from last night?

498
00:32:40,104 --> 00:32:43,732
Because we obviously
had a great fucking time.

499
00:32:44,275 --> 00:32:47,527
Why don't you just stop worrying
for one minute?

500
00:32:47,695 --> 00:32:49,029
Be proud of yourself.

501
00:32:49,197 --> 00:32:53,325
I don't know, Phil.
Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth.

502
00:32:53,534 --> 00:32:58,664
Or maybe it's because
there's a tiger in our hotel room...

503
00:32:58,831 --> 00:33:02,376
which, incidentally,
is completely destroyed.

504
00:33:03,544 --> 00:33:06,004
Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know.

505
00:33:06,172 --> 00:33:10,884
Maybe it's because we found a baby,
a human baby.

506
00:33:11,052 --> 00:33:12,761
That's it. That's it.

507
00:33:12,929 --> 00:33:16,890
It's because we found a fucking baby.

508
00:33:17,809 --> 00:33:21,561
- You shouldn't curse around the child.
- Really? You shouldn't be around a child.

509
00:33:28,069 --> 00:33:30,570
Oh, how cute. What's his name?

510
00:33:32,907 --> 00:33:35,534
- Ben.
- Carlos.

511
00:33:36,911 --> 00:33:38,620
Carlos?

512
00:33:48,965 --> 00:33:50,549
Thank you.

513
00:33:55,596 --> 00:33:56,763
Hey, Phil, look.

514
00:34:01,602 --> 00:34:03,228
He's jacking his little weenis.

515
00:34:03,771 --> 00:34:07,107
- Pull yourself together, man.
- Not at the table, Carlos.

516
00:34:11,904 --> 00:34:13,155
I looked everywhere.

517
00:34:13,322 --> 00:34:16,575
Gym, casino, front desk.
Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here.

518
00:34:16,743 --> 00:34:18,201
He's fine. He's a grown man.

519
00:34:18,369 --> 00:34:21,455
Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down.
Here, have some juice.

520
00:34:26,377 --> 00:34:27,711
I can't have juice right now.

521
00:34:27,879 --> 00:34:30,464
Okay. All right.
Let's just track this thing.

522
00:34:31,966 --> 00:34:34,301
What's the last thing
we remember doing last night?

523
00:34:34,469 --> 00:34:36,636
Well, the first thing was
we were on the roof...

524
00:34:36,804 --> 00:34:38,430
and were having those shots of Jäger.

525
00:34:40,933 --> 00:34:42,934
And then we ate dinner
at The Palm. Right?

526
00:34:43,102 --> 00:34:44,144
That's right.

527
00:34:44,312 --> 00:34:47,981
And then we played craps at
the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there.

528
00:34:48,149 --> 00:34:50,400
That sounds right.
No, no. He definitely was.

529
00:34:50,568 --> 00:34:53,403
You know what, guys?
I don't even remember going to dinner.

530
00:34:53,571 --> 00:34:56,406
What the fuck?
I don't think I've ever been this hung-over.

531
00:34:56,574 --> 00:34:58,825
After the Hard Rock, I blacked out.
It was like emptiness.

532
00:35:00,745 --> 00:35:02,621
Okay. We have up until 10 p. M...

533
00:35:02,789 --> 00:35:06,041
so that gives us a 12-hour window
where we could have lost him.

534
00:35:06,209 --> 00:35:10,212
- What is this?
- Oh, my God. That is my tooth.

535
00:35:10,379 --> 00:35:13,423
Why do you have that?
What else is in your pockets?

536
00:35:13,591 --> 00:35:16,676
This is a good thing. No.
Check your pockets. Check your pockets.

537
00:35:16,844 --> 00:35:18,345
Do you have anything?

538
00:35:18,513 --> 00:35:21,598
I have an ATM receipt
from the Bellagio.

539
00:35:21,766 --> 00:35:28,146
Eleven-oh-five for $800!
I am so fucked.

540
00:35:28,314 --> 00:35:32,526
I have a valet ticket from Caesars.
Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m.

541
00:35:32,693 --> 00:35:34,694
Oh, shit. We drove last night?

542
00:35:36,072 --> 00:35:37,906
Driving drunk. Classic.

543
00:35:41,285 --> 00:35:43,036
What's on your arm?

544
00:35:44,288 --> 00:35:45,956
- What the fuck is that?
- Jesus, Phil.

545
00:35:46,124 --> 00:35:49,000
- You were in the hospital last night.
- I guess so, yeah.

546
00:35:49,168 --> 00:35:51,545
- You okay?
- Yeah, Alan. I'm fine.

547
00:35:51,712 --> 00:35:53,547
What the hell is going on?

548
00:35:53,714 --> 00:35:56,341
Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing.
We have a lead now.

549
00:35:56,509 --> 00:35:58,009
Hey, Stu, watch this.

550
00:36:02,223 --> 00:36:05,350
- You ever seen a baby do that?
- Dude, Alan, not cool.

551
00:36:07,979 --> 00:36:12,858
So, uh, are you sure you're qualified
to be taking care of that baby?

552
00:36:13,025 --> 00:36:14,901
What? I've found a baby before.

553
00:36:15,069 --> 00:36:17,362
- You found a baby before?
- Yeah.

554
00:36:17,530 --> 00:36:19,239
- Where?
- Coffee Bean.

555
00:36:20,741 --> 00:36:22,117
Wait, what?

556
00:36:22,285 --> 00:36:25,412
Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug
would want us to take the Mercedes.

557
00:36:25,580 --> 00:36:26,663
Relax, we'll be careful.

558
00:36:26,831 --> 00:36:29,416
My dad is crazy about that car.
He left Doug in charge...

559
00:36:29,584 --> 00:36:31,835
Alan. We got bigger problems here.

560
00:36:32,003 --> 00:36:33,920
Doug could be in the hospital,
he could be hurt.

561
00:36:35,381 --> 00:36:38,884
- Let's worry about the car later.
- Uh, guys? Check it out.

562
00:36:42,763 --> 00:36:44,681
All right, grab it from the other side.

563
00:36:44,849 --> 00:36:46,850
Is that the mattress from Doug's room?

564
00:36:47,393 --> 00:36:49,436
What the fuck?

565
00:36:50,521 --> 00:36:52,772
Hey, man, what's going on here?

566
00:36:52,940 --> 00:36:56,276
Some asshole threw his bed
out the window last night.

567
00:36:56,444 --> 00:36:58,778
- No shit.
- Yeah.

568
00:36:58,946 --> 00:37:00,947
Some guys just can't handle Vegas.

569
00:37:02,491 --> 00:37:03,533
Ha-ha.

570
00:37:04,619 --> 00:37:06,494
Oh, God.

571
00:37:06,787 --> 00:37:08,455
It's gonna be okay, Stu.

572
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,833
How the hell did we manage that?

573
00:37:15,463 --> 00:37:18,715
- Here's your car, officers.
- Oh, God.

574
00:37:18,883 --> 00:37:21,760
All right, everybody act cool.
All right, don't say a word.

575
00:37:21,928 --> 00:37:25,222
Come on, let's just get in and go.
Come on.

576
00:37:27,308 --> 00:37:29,809
- Stu, you got a five?
- No.

577
00:37:30,686 --> 00:37:33,146
- I'll hit you on the way back.
- Thank you, sir.

578
00:37:33,314 --> 00:37:35,732
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

579
00:37:37,151 --> 00:37:39,486
You just nailed the baby.

580
00:37:39,654 --> 00:37:40,654
Are my glasses okay?

581
00:37:41,447 --> 00:37:44,199
Your glasses are fine, dick.

582
00:37:49,914 --> 00:37:51,873
This is so illegal.

583
00:37:52,416 --> 00:37:54,292
Can't you see the fun part in anything?

584
00:37:55,544 --> 00:37:58,004
Yeah, we're stuck in traffic
in a stolen police car...

585
00:37:58,172 --> 00:38:00,173
with a missing child
in the back seat.

586
00:38:00,341 --> 00:38:01,841
Which part of this is fun?

587
00:38:02,635 --> 00:38:06,846
- I think the cop-car part's pretty cool.
- Thank you, Alan. It is cool.

588
00:38:07,014 --> 00:38:08,848
Doug would love it.

589
00:38:09,767 --> 00:38:11,351
Come on.

590
00:38:14,188 --> 00:38:16,856
- Check this out.
- Oh, no. No, Phil. No, Phil.

591
00:38:17,024 --> 00:38:18,024
Don't do this!

592
00:38:18,192 --> 00:38:20,527
- Take it easy.
- Just try to call more attention to us.

593
00:38:20,695 --> 00:38:22,028
Attention.
- Sorry.

594
00:38:22,196 --> 00:38:24,155
Attention, please. Move out of the way.

595
00:38:24,323 --> 00:38:25,824
I repeat, please disperse.

596
00:38:28,077 --> 00:38:31,830
Phil, stop the car, I wanna get out.
Stop the car, I wanna get out. Pull over.

597
00:38:31,998 --> 00:38:36,376
Ma'am, in the leopard dress,
you have an amazing rack.

598
00:38:37,336 --> 00:38:39,671
Get off the sidewalk!
Get off the sidewalk!

599
00:38:39,839 --> 00:38:41,298
I should have been a fucking cop.

600
00:38:48,055 --> 00:38:49,389
Look, I already told you.

601
00:38:49,557 --> 00:38:52,726
You came in with a mild concussion,
some bruised ribs. No big deal.

602
00:38:52,893 --> 00:38:55,395
Although none of you could articulate
how it happened.

603
00:38:55,563 --> 00:38:58,023
Do you remember how many of us
were here?

604
00:38:58,190 --> 00:38:59,482
Ah...

605
00:38:59,650 --> 00:39:03,236
I don't know. I think it was just you guys.
Definitely no baby.

606
00:39:03,404 --> 00:39:07,032
- And one other guy.
- That's our guy. Was he okay?

607
00:39:07,199 --> 00:39:11,244
Yeah. He was fine.
Just whacked out of his mind. You all were.

608
00:39:11,412 --> 00:39:15,081
All right, come forward.
And turn.

609
00:39:15,249 --> 00:39:16,249
All right.

610
00:39:17,251 --> 00:39:19,627
There you go. And cough.

611
00:39:21,005 --> 00:39:24,674
Cough. Cough. Give me one more.

612
00:39:25,676 --> 00:39:28,011
All right. Thattaboy.

613
00:39:29,055 --> 00:39:30,847
Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on.

614
00:39:31,015 --> 00:39:33,141
And the nurse will be in here
in a minute.

615
00:39:33,309 --> 00:39:35,435
I'll see you after the weekend.

616
00:39:35,603 --> 00:39:38,521
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, doctor.

617
00:39:40,858 --> 00:39:44,361
Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry.
I have a surgery up on the fourth floor.

618
00:39:45,029 --> 00:39:48,365
No, I know. But we just need
a couple more minutes of your time.

619
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:55,205
Yeah. Tuck it right in there.
I don't want to re-sterilize.

620
00:39:55,373 --> 00:39:57,040
Walk with me.

621
00:39:59,335 --> 00:40:04,672
Okay, here we go. Patient name,
Phil Wenneck, -45 a.m. Arrival.

622
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,717
Minor concussion, like I said.
Some bruising. Pretty standard.

623
00:40:07,885 --> 00:40:09,969
Do you mind if I look?
I'm actually a doctor.

624
00:40:10,137 --> 00:40:14,599
Yeah, you said that several times last night.
But really, you're just a dentist.

625
00:40:15,351 --> 00:40:19,771
Okay, this is interesting.
Your blood work came in this morning.

626
00:40:19,939 --> 00:40:21,648
Wow.

627
00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:25,735
They found a large amount of Ruphylin
in your system.

628
00:40:26,153 --> 00:40:29,739
Ruphylin. Roofies.
Commonly known as the date-rape drug.

629
00:40:29,907 --> 00:40:32,659
What, so, what are you saying,
I was raped last night?

630
00:40:33,452 --> 00:40:34,994
Actually...

631
00:40:38,999 --> 00:40:42,293
I don't think so.
But someone did slip you the drug.

632
00:40:42,461 --> 00:40:44,003
I'm not surprised
you don't remember anything.

633
00:40:45,339 --> 00:40:48,675
Doc, none of us can remember anything
from last night. Remember?

634
00:40:49,718 --> 00:40:52,095
Yeah. How could someone
have drugged all of us?

635
00:40:52,263 --> 00:40:53,471
I wouldn't worry about it.

636
00:40:53,639 --> 00:40:56,349
The stuff's out of your system.
You're gonna be fine.

637
00:40:56,517 --> 00:40:59,227
Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor.
Is there anything else?

638
00:40:59,395 --> 00:41:03,731
Like, something we may have been talking
about, or some place we were going?

639
00:41:03,899 --> 00:41:05,692
Actually, there was something.

640
00:41:05,860 --> 00:41:08,278
You guys kept talking about some wedding
last night.

641
00:41:08,446 --> 00:41:11,072
Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's
getting married tomorrow.

642
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,575
- You know what? I want the 100 back.
- No, no. Easy.

643
00:41:13,742 --> 00:41:16,286
You kept talking about some wedding
you just came from.

644
00:41:16,454 --> 00:41:17,787
At the, uh, Best Little Chapel.

645
00:41:17,955 --> 00:41:21,416
You kept saying how sick the wedding was
and getting all crazy about it.

646
00:41:21,584 --> 00:41:23,793
Okay, I hope this helps.
I really have to leave.

647
00:41:23,961 --> 00:41:26,337
Best Little Chapel,
do you know where that is?

648
00:41:26,505 --> 00:41:30,341
I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map
and Fuck Off.

649
00:41:32,344 --> 00:41:34,220
I'm a doctor, not a tour guide.

650
00:41:34,388 --> 00:41:37,557
Figure it out yourself, okay?
You're big boys.

651
00:41:49,695 --> 00:41:50,737
What about the baby?

652
00:41:50,905 --> 00:41:53,156
Leave him in the car.
We're gonna be five minutes.

653
00:41:53,324 --> 00:41:55,158
Whoa, we're not leaving a baby in the car.

654
00:41:55,326 --> 00:41:57,994
He'll be fine. I cracked the window.

655
00:42:01,999 --> 00:42:05,084
- What if they don't remember us?
- Well, let's just find out.

656
00:42:06,921 --> 00:42:08,630
I'm sor... Excuse me, sir? Hi.

657
00:42:10,925 --> 00:42:12,258
Look at these guys.

658
00:42:12,426 --> 00:42:15,512
What happened? You miss me?
You miss Eddie? You want more from me?

659
00:42:15,679 --> 00:42:19,015
How are you, my friend?
Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy.

660
00:42:19,183 --> 00:42:20,225
What's going on, man?

661
00:42:20,726 --> 00:42:24,103
Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.
I know some sick people in my life.

662
00:42:24,271 --> 00:42:28,942
This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard
I ever met in my life, man.

663
00:42:29,109 --> 00:42:30,944
- This guy?
- This guy is out of his mind.

664
00:42:31,111 --> 00:42:33,613
What's going on,
you fucking crazy motherfucker?

665
00:42:33,781 --> 00:42:35,907
I thought he was gonna eat my dick.

666
00:42:36,075 --> 00:42:38,618
What happened?
No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?

667
00:42:38,786 --> 00:42:40,870
No, no. It's not that, Eddie.

668
00:42:41,038 --> 00:42:45,458
Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time
remembering what happened here last night.

669
00:42:45,626 --> 00:42:48,211
Yeah, was there a wedding here?
Do you do weddings here?

670
00:42:50,005 --> 00:42:51,631
You are cracking my balls, man.

671
00:42:51,799 --> 00:42:54,968
I love these guys.
Zolea, what are you doing?

672
00:42:55,135 --> 00:42:57,679
Bring my friends some tea,
some baklava, huh? Come on.

673
00:42:57,846 --> 00:43:01,641
Unbelievable, man. Look at this chick.
Beautiful ass, no fucking brain.

674
00:43:01,809 --> 00:43:05,061
But this is Vegas. You want intimacy,
forget it. You're gonna get sex.

675
00:43:05,229 --> 00:43:07,564
That's it here, man.
No problem for me, though.

676
00:43:07,731 --> 00:43:09,983
You want chicks?
I can get you beautiful chicks...

677
00:43:10,150 --> 00:43:11,985
from the Eastern Bloc. No questions.

678
00:43:12,152 --> 00:43:15,446
Clean, tight.
The tits like that, the nipple like that.

679
00:43:15,656 --> 00:43:18,324
Obviously we were here.
We're looking for our friend Doug.

680
00:43:18,492 --> 00:43:20,994
- Do you remember?
- Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey.

681
00:43:21,161 --> 00:43:22,328
- Yeah.
- You saw him?

682
00:43:22,496 --> 00:43:23,496
Of course.

683
00:43:23,664 --> 00:43:27,250
Is there anything you can tell us about
what may have happened last night?

684
00:43:29,044 --> 00:43:30,670
You don't remember nothing?

685
00:43:34,466 --> 00:43:38,511
- Congratulations, Stu, you got married.
- This... This can't be happening.

686
00:43:39,847 --> 00:43:41,848
- Oh, God.
- Look at that.

687
00:43:45,853 --> 00:43:49,230
I'll tell you one thing,
you look seriously happy here, man.

688
00:43:49,982 --> 00:43:51,858
That's it. My life is over.

689
00:43:52,026 --> 00:43:53,776
Stu, it's okay. Look, shit happens.

690
00:43:53,944 --> 00:43:56,446
Come on. Melissa's not gonna know
anything about this.

691
00:43:56,614 --> 00:43:59,699
- This never happened. I'll take care of it.
- Come on. Put it here.

692
00:43:59,867 --> 00:44:00,867
Hey, what's all that?

693
00:44:01,035 --> 00:44:05,038
The High Roller package.
It's what you ordered. I have coffee mugs.

694
00:44:05,205 --> 00:44:07,373
- What?
- You have baseball caps, huh?

695
00:44:07,541 --> 00:44:10,960
And fancy calendars, all with pictures
of Stu and Jade.

696
00:44:11,128 --> 00:44:12,211
Her name's Jade?

697
00:44:12,379 --> 00:44:15,632
Yeah, and she's beautiful, man.
Clean, very tight. Tits like that.

698
00:44:15,799 --> 00:44:18,551
- But that's because she had a baby.
- That explains the baby.

699
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,887
- Oh, Carlos. Carlos.
- Great. All right.

700
00:44:21,055 --> 00:44:23,181
Uh, here's the deal.
We made a mistake last night.

701
00:44:23,349 --> 00:44:25,600
We need this marriage annulled.
You do annulments?

702
00:44:25,768 --> 00:44:28,519
Of course I do. It breaks my heart
and gonna make me sad...

703
00:44:28,687 --> 00:44:30,647
but it's no problem.
Good price for you.

704
00:44:30,814 --> 00:44:34,525
I can't do it with just him, though.
I need the chick. I need both parties.

705
00:44:34,693 --> 00:44:37,236
Oh, not a problem. That's great.
Isn't that great, Stu?

706
00:44:37,404 --> 00:44:39,739
Come on, buddy.
She probably knows where Doug is.

707
00:44:39,907 --> 00:44:42,659
- Awesome.
- All right, all right. Okay. Uh...

708
00:44:43,410 --> 00:44:46,245
We need her address.
She filled out some paperwork, right?

709
00:44:46,413 --> 00:44:47,413
Of course.

710
00:44:47,581 --> 00:44:51,417
Hey. Excuse me. What is the matter
with you? Go and get the paperwork, man.

711
00:44:51,585 --> 00:44:54,420
- I spend my life waiting for you. Come on.
- Okay. I'm going.

712
00:44:54,588 --> 00:44:56,798
And get the baklava, please.

713
00:45:00,928 --> 00:45:05,139
- Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car?
- I'm sure Doug has it. We'll get it back.

714
00:45:05,307 --> 00:45:08,309
Then I vote we torch the cop car
and all this shit with it.

715
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,439
- Torch it? Who are you?
- I don't know, Phil.

716
00:45:13,607 --> 00:45:15,983
Apparently I'm a guy who marries
complete strangers.

717
00:45:16,443 --> 00:45:21,155
This whole situation is completely fucked.

718
00:45:21,448 --> 00:45:24,951
- These mugs. This hat. This car.
- Hey!

719
00:45:25,119 --> 00:45:28,121
It's all evidence
of a night that never happened.

720
00:45:28,288 --> 00:45:30,456
That is why we're torching all of it.

721
00:45:30,624 --> 00:45:33,042
Whoa, I'm a schoolteacher,
I got a family, okay?

722
00:45:33,210 --> 00:45:35,878
I'm all for secrecy,
but I'm not gonna torch a cop car.

723
00:45:36,046 --> 00:45:37,839
- Fine. I'll do it.
- Can I help?

724
00:45:38,006 --> 00:45:40,633
- Yeah, thanks.
- And how exactly are you gonna do that?

725
00:45:40,801 --> 00:45:44,387
Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret,
light it on both ends, put it in.

726
00:45:44,555 --> 00:45:46,222
They're attracted to the gas lines.

727
00:45:46,390 --> 00:45:47,765
- What? A ferret?
- Yeah. Yeah.

728
00:45:47,933 --> 00:45:50,476
Or a tamed raccoon,
but it's a lot of trouble.

729
00:45:50,644 --> 00:45:52,812
- If you wanna...
- Does it matter if it's tamed?

730
00:45:52,980 --> 00:45:56,315
Yeah, because if it's untamed,
it won't take the kerosene as well.

731
00:45:57,693 --> 00:45:59,318
- Is it Doug?
- I don't have it.

732
00:45:59,486 --> 00:46:00,987
It's Doug, it's Doug.

733
00:46:01,155 --> 00:46:02,447
Uh, it's Melissa.

734
00:46:02,614 --> 00:46:05,116
- Don't answer.
- I have to. She's called twice already!

735
00:46:05,284 --> 00:46:06,451
- Can I ride shotgun?
- Don't touch me.

736
00:46:06,618 --> 00:46:08,619
Hey, sweetheart, how are you?

737
00:46:08,787 --> 00:46:11,998
There you are.
This is the third time I'm trying you.

738
00:46:12,166 --> 00:46:15,168
I know. The reception up here's crazy.

739
00:46:15,335 --> 00:46:18,087
I think it's all the sequoia trees,
block the signal.

740
00:46:18,255 --> 00:46:21,174
Ugh, I hate that.
So how was it last night?

741
00:46:21,341 --> 00:46:24,302
Ah, it was really fun, actually.
It was quiet, but it was a good time.

742
00:46:24,762 --> 00:46:26,012
That sounds nice.

743
00:46:27,222 --> 00:46:29,599
- I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids.
- Hi.

744
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,187
It'd be so cool if I could breast-feed,
you know?

745
00:46:34,354 --> 00:46:35,438
Well, listen...

746
00:46:36,732 --> 00:46:39,358
we're about to go for a tractor ride.
- What the fuck?

747
00:46:39,526 --> 00:46:42,987
- I should get going. So pretty.
- A tractor ride?

748
00:46:44,364 --> 00:46:46,240
- Go, out of the car!
- What was that?

749
00:46:46,408 --> 00:46:48,785
They started up the tractor.
I think it backfired.

750
00:46:48,952 --> 00:46:51,120
- Where the hell is he?
- Hey, easy, easy.

751
00:46:51,288 --> 00:46:53,706
I think we're looking for
the same guy, okay?

752
00:46:54,792 --> 00:46:56,042
Hey! What the hell, man?

753
00:46:57,377 --> 00:46:59,879
What the fuck, Stu?
Is that a baby?

754
00:47:00,047 --> 00:47:03,007
Why would there be a baby?
We're at a winery. That's a goat.

755
00:47:03,175 --> 00:47:06,135
- Where is he?
- I don't know! What are you talking about?

756
00:47:06,303 --> 00:47:09,305
Sir, can you please start the tractor
so we can get out of here?

757
00:47:09,473 --> 00:47:11,390
I'm trying to, but we're fucking blocked.

758
00:47:11,558 --> 00:47:14,143
Oh, my God!
What the hell is happening, Stu?

759
00:47:14,311 --> 00:47:17,647
- Hey! There's a baby on board!
- Someone just said "baby."

760
00:47:17,815 --> 00:47:19,899
- Get out of the car!
- It's a baby goat.

761
00:47:20,067 --> 00:47:22,193
Why you making trouble
for my business, man?

762
00:47:22,361 --> 00:47:24,237
- Go away from here.
- Get out of the car!

763
00:47:24,404 --> 00:47:26,531
- Phil, he's got a gun!
- No shit he's got a gun!

764
00:47:26,698 --> 00:47:28,908
- I gotta call you back. Bye.
- Come on.

765
00:47:30,828 --> 00:47:32,411
- Fuck! Shit.
- He shot me!

766
00:47:32,579 --> 00:47:34,914
- He shot Eddie!
- Fuck this shit!

767
00:47:38,252 --> 00:47:40,169
Fuck! Fuck!

768
00:47:40,629 --> 00:47:43,214
Go, go, go!

769
00:47:45,551 --> 00:47:46,592
Fuck.

770
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,761
Okay. Oh, that was some sick shit!

771
00:47:50,138 --> 00:47:51,180
Who were those guys?

772
00:47:51,348 --> 00:47:53,432
We're gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.

773
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,434
What the fuck is going on?

774
00:47:56,562 --> 00:47:57,603
I have no idea.

775
00:48:04,444 --> 00:48:06,529
Why don't you just let that
go to voicemail?

776
00:48:06,697 --> 00:48:08,239
Ha-ha-ha.

777
00:48:09,199 --> 00:48:12,034
That's a fake laugh, by the way.

778
00:48:14,621 --> 00:48:19,166
It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum
P.I. And that Jewish actor.

779
00:48:19,334 --> 00:48:20,960
Shut up, Alan.

780
00:48:21,128 --> 00:48:23,546
- What room was it again?
- It's 825.

781
00:48:23,714 --> 00:48:26,132
I know, I did. I already checked with her.

782
00:48:26,300 --> 00:48:30,678
I found him, I'll call you back.
Thank God, he's with his father.

783
00:48:30,846 --> 00:48:34,807
I was freaking out. I missed you, sweetie.

784
00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:37,310
And I miss you.

785
00:48:41,106 --> 00:48:42,523
No.

786
00:48:42,983 --> 00:48:46,819
- What the hell happened to you guys?
- Actually, we were hoping you could tell us.

787
00:48:46,987 --> 00:48:49,906
What do you mean? I got up this morning,
I went to get coffee...

788
00:48:50,073 --> 00:48:52,074
and I came back and you were gone.

789
00:48:53,827 --> 00:48:57,622
- Why are you being so quiet?
- I'm not being quiet.

790
00:48:57,998 --> 00:48:59,790
Ha, ha. You're so cute.

791
00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:03,085
Yeah, I gotta feed Tyler.
Come inside, you guys.

792
00:49:04,838 --> 00:49:07,423
Did you hear that? Baby's name is Tyler.

793
00:49:07,591 --> 00:49:10,927
Yeah. I thought he looked
more like a Carlos too, bud.

794
00:49:14,348 --> 00:49:17,850
Okay, what's up?
You guys are acting weird.

795
00:49:18,018 --> 00:49:20,937
- Look, it's Jade, right?
- Very funny, Phil.

796
00:49:21,438 --> 00:49:24,941
Right, Jade, uh, ahem,
you remember our friend, Doug.

797
00:49:25,108 --> 00:49:26,943
Are you kidding? He was the best man.

798
00:49:27,110 --> 00:49:29,862
Exactly. Well, we can't find him,
and we're getting worried.

799
00:49:30,030 --> 00:49:33,032
Oh, my God, that is so Doug.

800
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,867
Ha, ha. Oh.

801
00:49:36,620 --> 00:49:38,788
Oh, sweetie, I'm...
I'm gonna go clean him off.

802
00:49:38,956 --> 00:49:40,957
It's all right, Daddy didn't mean it.

803
00:49:41,124 --> 00:49:42,416
Oh, my God.

804
00:49:42,584 --> 00:49:44,710
What the fuck, man,
you gotta hold it together.

805
00:49:44,878 --> 00:49:46,545
- Holy shit.
- She is super hot.

806
00:49:46,713 --> 00:49:50,007
- You should be proud of yourself.
- She's wearing my grandmother's ring!

807
00:49:50,175 --> 00:49:52,134
- What?
- The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa.

808
00:49:52,302 --> 00:49:54,303
You remember,
my grandmother's Holocaust ring?

809
00:49:54,471 --> 00:49:56,555
- Fuck. Okay.
- She's wearing it.

810
00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:59,433
I didn't know they gave out rings
at the Holocaust.

811
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,603
- He's okay.
- Oh, good.

812
00:50:02,771 --> 00:50:04,730
- He was just hungry, he's fine.
- Oh, good.

813
00:50:04,898 --> 00:50:09,193
About last night, uh, ahem, do you
remember the last time you saw Doug?

814
00:50:09,361 --> 00:50:12,947
- Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding.
- The wedding. Okay. Great.

815
00:50:13,115 --> 00:50:16,409
And, uh, we can't re...
What time was that at?

816
00:50:16,576 --> 00:50:19,078
Well, it was, um...

817
00:50:21,081 --> 00:50:24,667
I guess it was around 1, because I had
to go back to work and finish my shift.

818
00:50:24,835 --> 00:50:27,753
And then when I got out I headed over
to the hotel with Tyler.

819
00:50:27,921 --> 00:50:29,255
And was Doug there then?

820
00:50:29,423 --> 00:50:32,800
I didn't see Doug because you guys
were passed out. The room was a wreck.

821
00:50:32,968 --> 00:50:35,094
- So I just curled up next to Stu.
- Uh-huh.

822
00:50:35,262 --> 00:50:36,971
- Rowr.
- Oh.

823
00:50:39,141 --> 00:50:42,018
I got a question.
Um, you said when your shift ended.

824
00:50:42,185 --> 00:50:46,439
Does that mean you're a nurse?
Or a blackjack dealer?

825
00:50:47,107 --> 00:50:49,775
- You know this. I'm a stripper.
- Mm-hm.

826
00:50:49,943 --> 00:50:53,696
Well, technically I'm an escort, but
stripping's a great way to meet the clients.

827
00:50:53,864 --> 00:50:55,948
- Smart.
- Savvy.

828
00:50:56,116 --> 00:50:59,827
But that's all in the past,
now that I married a doctor.

829
00:50:59,995 --> 00:51:01,704
I'm just a dentist.

830
00:51:03,123 --> 00:51:04,540
- Las Vegas Police! Freeze!
- Okay.

831
00:51:05,917 --> 00:51:07,376
Shut that baby up! Shut that baby up!

832
00:51:07,544 --> 00:51:10,254
- Oh, God!
- Okay, okay, okay.

833
00:51:15,969 --> 00:51:18,471
After we take the mug shots,
we bring them down here...

834
00:51:18,638 --> 00:51:22,224
where they wait to be interviewed
by the arresting officers.

835
00:51:22,392 --> 00:51:25,770
Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting
on these benches.

836
00:51:25,937 --> 00:51:28,022
We call this place Loserville.

837
00:51:29,983 --> 00:51:32,985
Follow me. All right, let's do it. Come on.

838
00:51:38,283 --> 00:51:39,492
Hello.

839
00:51:39,659 --> 00:51:42,787
- Hey, Tracy! It's Phil.
Hey, Phil.

840
00:51:42,954 --> 00:51:47,166
- Where are you guys?
- We are at the spa at the hotel.

841
00:51:47,334 --> 00:51:50,252
Cool. We're just getting some sun.
Is Doug around?

842
00:51:50,420 --> 00:51:52,129
Of course. Why wouldn't he be?

843
00:51:52,297 --> 00:51:54,507
I'm just wondering
why you're calling me.

844
00:51:54,674 --> 00:51:56,175
Um...

845
00:51:56,343 --> 00:51:59,637
We made a deal,
no talking to girlfriends or wives.

846
00:51:59,805 --> 00:52:03,182
So we're all calling each other's.

847
00:52:03,350 --> 00:52:04,809
Okay. What's up?

848
00:52:04,976 --> 00:52:09,021
Uh, you are not gonna believe this.
We got comped an extra night at the hotel.

849
00:52:09,189 --> 00:52:10,189
You did?

850
00:52:10,357 --> 00:52:13,150
Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous.
It's out of control.

851
00:52:13,318 --> 00:52:17,279
There's, like, room service and a butler.
I mean, just the works.

852
00:52:17,447 --> 00:52:19,323
We're thinking of spending the night...

853
00:52:19,491 --> 00:52:21,700
and we're gonna come back
in the morning.

854
00:52:21,868 --> 00:52:25,204
You wanna stay an extra night?
But the wedding's tomorrow.

855
00:52:25,372 --> 00:52:28,874
That's why we're gonna get up early,
and we'll be back in plenty of time.

856
00:52:29,042 --> 00:52:31,335
Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?

857
00:52:31,503 --> 00:52:34,213
Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3.

858
00:52:34,381 --> 00:52:36,632
Okay, Trace, I gotta go.
We'll talk to you later.

859
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,134
Uh...

860
00:52:40,178 --> 00:52:42,429
- Come on, chop-chop.
- Okay, spin around.

861
00:52:43,890 --> 00:52:44,974
- That's it.
- Goddamn it.

862
00:52:45,142 --> 00:52:47,560
- Wait a second.
- I'll go over. I'll go over.

863
00:52:47,727 --> 00:52:49,645
- Stop pulling.
- Can you just...? Hold on.

864
00:52:49,813 --> 00:52:52,565
We got it. Alan, just relax.
And then just... There we go.

865
00:52:52,732 --> 00:52:54,108
Good.

866
00:53:00,115 --> 00:53:01,782
Gentlemen.

867
00:53:01,950 --> 00:53:04,869
We've got some good news,
and we've got some bad news.

868
00:53:05,036 --> 00:53:06,745
The good news is
we found your Mercedes.

869
00:53:08,248 --> 00:53:09,832
- That's great news.
- That's great. See?

870
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:14,420
Yeah, it's over at impound right now.
We picked it up at 5 a.m. This morning...

871
00:53:14,588 --> 00:53:16,714
parked in the middle
of Las Vegas Boulevard.

872
00:53:17,424 --> 00:53:21,677
- In the middle. That's weird.
- Yeah, that is weird.

873
00:53:21,845 --> 00:53:22,928
There was also a note.

874
00:53:23,763 --> 00:53:28,893
It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter,
but here's 4 bucks."

875
00:53:29,811 --> 00:53:31,937
The bad news is...

876
00:53:32,105 --> 00:53:34,899
we can't get you in front of a judge
until Monday morning.

877
00:53:35,775 --> 00:53:39,278
Oh, no, uh, officer, that's just impossible.

878
00:53:39,446 --> 00:53:41,739
No, we need to be in I.A. Tomorrow
for a wedding.

879
00:53:41,907 --> 00:53:46,827
- You stole a police car.
- We didn't steal anything. Um, we found it.

880
00:53:46,995 --> 00:53:50,080
Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward
or something, like a trophy.

881
00:53:50,916 --> 00:53:54,126
- I see assholes like you every day.
- Every fucking day.

882
00:53:54,294 --> 00:53:56,170
"Let's go to Vegas,
we'll all get drunk and laid!

883
00:53:56,338 --> 00:53:58,464
- Yeah. Whoo! Woo-hoo.
- Woo-hoo.

884
00:53:58,632 --> 00:54:01,634
Let's steal a cop car,
because it'd be really fucking funny."

885
00:54:01,801 --> 00:54:04,053
Think you gonna get away with it?
Not up in here.

886
00:54:04,221 --> 00:54:06,305
- Not up in here!
- Oh.

887
00:54:06,473 --> 00:54:08,349
Uh...

888
00:54:09,434 --> 00:54:10,893
Sir...

889
00:54:11,269 --> 00:54:12,645
if I may, um...

890
00:54:12,812 --> 00:54:15,481
I'm assuming that that squad car
belongs to one of you.

891
00:54:15,649 --> 00:54:17,358
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

892
00:54:17,525 --> 00:54:19,902
Look, I'm not a cop.

893
00:54:20,070 --> 00:54:23,155
I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher.

894
00:54:24,157 --> 00:54:27,451
But if one of my kids went missing
on a field trip...

895
00:54:28,411 --> 00:54:30,079
that would look really bad on me.

896
00:54:31,373 --> 00:54:34,291
- What are you getting at?
- Yeah, Phil, what are you getting at?

897
00:54:34,459 --> 00:54:37,836
No one wants to look bad.
We gotta get to a wedding...

898
00:54:38,004 --> 00:54:40,256
and you guys don't need people
talking about...

899
00:54:40,423 --> 00:54:44,468
how some obnoxious tourists borrowed
your squad car last night.

900
00:54:44,636 --> 00:54:47,554
But look, the point is,
I think we can work out a deal.

901
00:54:47,722 --> 00:54:49,640
Discreetly of course, ma'am.

902
00:54:50,642 --> 00:54:51,892
What do you say?

903
00:55:01,278 --> 00:55:02,611
Let me ask you a question:

904
00:55:02,779 --> 00:55:08,367
Do, uh, any of you gentlemen
have a heart condition or anything like that?

905
00:55:08,618 --> 00:55:10,869
Uh, no.

906
00:55:11,037 --> 00:55:13,622
Okay, kids,
you're in for a real treat today.

907
00:55:13,790 --> 00:55:16,709
These gentlemen have kindly volunteered
to demonstrate...

908
00:55:16,876 --> 00:55:19,628
how a stun gun is used
to subdue a suspect.

909
00:55:19,796 --> 00:55:20,879
Ooh!

910
00:55:21,047 --> 00:55:22,506
- That's right.
- Wait a sec. What?

911
00:55:22,674 --> 00:55:25,676
Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun.
Up close and personal.

912
00:55:28,638 --> 00:55:31,640
- What the fuck?
- Or you can shoot it from a distance.

913
00:55:31,808 --> 00:55:35,144
Do I have any volunteers? You wanna
come up here and do some shooting? Huh?

914
00:55:35,312 --> 00:55:38,647
All right, how about you, young lady?
Come on up here. All right.

915
00:55:38,815 --> 00:55:40,607
Let's go, handsome, come on.

916
00:55:40,775 --> 00:55:43,652
Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back.
You, pretty boy.

917
00:55:44,237 --> 00:55:46,322
- Fat Jesus.
- All right, now, it's real simple.

918
00:55:46,489 --> 00:55:49,241
All you gotta do is point, aim and shoot.

919
00:55:49,409 --> 00:55:50,826
All right?

920
00:55:50,994 --> 00:55:54,079
Okay, look.
You don't really wanna do this.

921
00:55:54,247 --> 00:55:56,540
You can do this. Just focus.

922
00:55:56,708 --> 00:55:59,209
Don't listen to this maniac.
Let's think this through.

923
00:55:59,377 --> 00:56:00,711
Finish him!

924
00:56:00,879 --> 00:56:03,422
- Oh, fuck.
- Yeah!

925
00:56:04,966 --> 00:56:07,092
Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.

926
00:56:08,720 --> 00:56:12,514
- Well done. Give her a hand, everybody.
- Good job. Good job.

927
00:56:13,767 --> 00:56:16,727
Good job. Well done. Good job.
That was great.

928
00:56:17,270 --> 00:56:21,065
Good. Hey, we got one more charge left.
Anybody wanna do some shooting up here?

929
00:56:23,068 --> 00:56:24,985
How about you, big man?
Come on up here.

930
00:56:41,961 --> 00:56:46,090
Okay, same instructions.
Just point, aim and shoot.

931
00:56:49,260 --> 00:56:51,762
There you go. That's the stuff.

932
00:56:51,930 --> 00:56:53,138
I like the intensity.

933
00:56:54,057 --> 00:56:55,891
Eye of the tiger. Good.

934
00:56:56,059 --> 00:57:00,104
You're holding 50,000 volts, little man.
Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.

935
00:57:03,650 --> 00:57:06,652
In the face! In the face!

936
00:57:08,446 --> 00:57:11,281
Oh, he's still up. He's still up.

937
00:57:11,449 --> 00:57:12,991
- Aah!
- No.

938
00:57:13,159 --> 00:57:14,785
All right, everybody relax, take it easy.

939
00:57:15,328 --> 00:57:18,956
We've seen it before.
He just needs a little extra charge.

940
00:57:19,124 --> 00:57:20,541
There we go.

941
00:57:22,335 --> 00:57:25,045
Some of these big boys,
you gotta give them two shots.

942
00:57:25,213 --> 00:57:29,174
All right, kids, who wants to get their
fingerprints done, huh? Come on, let's go.

943
00:57:30,301 --> 00:57:33,387
Fuck those guys, you hear me?

944
00:57:33,555 --> 00:57:36,640
That was bullshit.
I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car.

945
00:57:36,808 --> 00:57:39,685
- They let us go, who cares?
- I care!

946
00:57:39,853 --> 00:57:44,731
You can't just do that. You can't just
tase people because you think it's funny.

947
00:57:44,899 --> 00:57:47,025
That's police brutality.

948
00:57:50,530 --> 00:57:53,031
I'm getting a soda.
Do you guys want anything?

949
00:57:53,199 --> 00:57:54,533
No.

950
00:57:58,121 --> 00:58:01,707
My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.

951
00:58:03,376 --> 00:58:05,961
Alan, you okay?

952
00:58:06,921 --> 00:58:08,964
I'm just worried.

953
00:58:09,757 --> 00:58:12,050
What if something happened to Doug?
Something bad.

954
00:58:12,218 --> 00:58:13,844
Come on, you can't think like that.

955
00:58:14,429 --> 00:58:16,263
I mean, what if he's dead?

956
00:58:16,431 --> 00:58:20,142
I can't afford to lose anybody
close to me again. It hurts too much.

957
00:58:20,768 --> 00:58:23,896
- I was so upset when my grandpa died.
- Oh, I'm s... How'd he die?

958
00:58:24,731 --> 00:58:27,524
- World War II.
- Died in battle?

959
00:58:27,692 --> 00:58:31,069
No, he was skiing in Vermont.
It was just during World War II.

960
00:58:31,863 --> 00:58:33,280
Alan...

961
00:58:33,907 --> 00:58:36,074
Doug is fine.
- Well, why hasn't he called?

962
00:58:36,242 --> 00:58:38,702
I don't know,
but we're gonna figure it out.

963
00:58:39,287 --> 00:58:43,332
I'll tell you another thing,
6-1 odds our car is beat to shit.

964
00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:44,541
Stu, not now.

965
00:58:44,709 --> 00:58:47,544
No, how much do you wanna bet
it's fucked beyond recognition?

966
00:58:47,712 --> 00:58:51,757
That's enough. Alan's seriously worried,
okay? Let's not freak him out any more.

967
00:58:55,428 --> 00:58:56,803
Sorry, Alan.

968
00:58:56,971 --> 00:58:58,222
You know what?

969
00:58:58,389 --> 00:59:02,100
We'll search the car for clues
and everything's gonna be okay.

970
00:59:03,770 --> 00:59:05,771
Oh, shit. I can't watch.
Just tell me what it looks like.

971
00:59:07,607 --> 00:59:10,108
Not looking. Not looking.

972
00:59:11,569 --> 00:59:14,613
- Wow. All right.
- Oh, thank God.

973
00:59:14,781 --> 00:59:16,448
You see?

974
00:59:17,116 --> 00:59:18,951
It's gonna be all right.

975
00:59:25,458 --> 00:59:27,960
- Anything?
- Hmm, I got a cigar.

976
00:59:28,127 --> 00:59:31,046
Oh, I found, uh...
These are some black shoes.

977
00:59:31,214 --> 00:59:33,215
- They women's shoes?
- I don't know.

978
00:59:34,634 --> 00:59:37,886
- Whose are those?
- I don't know. It's a men's size 6.

979
00:59:38,054 --> 00:59:40,639
- That's weird.
- What is this, a snakeskin?

980
00:59:40,807 --> 00:59:42,307
Oh, come on! Ew!

981
00:59:42,475 --> 00:59:45,143
- That's a used condom, Alan.
- Oh, God. Blech!

982
00:59:45,311 --> 00:59:47,437
- Get it out of the car.
- Gross, it's wet.

983
00:59:47,605 --> 00:59:49,982
- I don't want the thing.
- Hey! Come on.

984
00:59:50,149 --> 00:59:54,319
I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys!

985
00:59:54,487 --> 00:59:57,155
- Get it out.
- Fuck!

986
00:59:57,532 --> 00:59:59,324
Oh, my God.

987
00:59:59,826 --> 01:00:03,620
All right, what the fuck, man?
We gotta get this shit together, guys!

988
01:00:06,332 --> 01:00:07,833
What was that?

989
01:00:08,334 --> 01:00:09,334
It's in the trunk.

990
01:00:10,211 --> 01:00:13,255
- Doug's in the trunk.
- Oh, fuck! Holy shit!

991
01:00:13,423 --> 01:00:15,340
Holy shit!

992
01:00:15,508 --> 01:00:17,634
- Open it! Open it! Open it!
- Okay, okay, okay.

993
01:00:17,802 --> 01:00:19,511
Okay, okay, okay.

994
01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:23,056
Oh God!

995
01:00:24,225 --> 01:00:26,351
Please! Please! Please stop!

996
01:00:34,193 --> 01:00:36,695
Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you!

997
01:00:36,863 --> 01:00:39,823
- You gonna fuck on me?
- Nobody's gonna fuck on you!

998
01:00:39,991 --> 01:00:44,369
We're on your side. I hate Godzilla!
I hate him too. I hate him!

999
01:00:44,537 --> 01:00:47,497
He destroys cities! Please!

1000
01:00:47,665 --> 01:00:50,500
This isn't your fault.
I'll get you some pants.

1001
01:00:56,007 --> 01:00:58,717
What the fuck was that?

1002
01:01:00,053 --> 01:01:04,264
I have internal bleeding.
Somebody call 911.

1003
01:01:04,432 --> 01:01:07,184
That was some fucked up shit.

1004
01:01:07,352 --> 01:01:11,021
Who was that guy? He was so mean.

1005
01:01:12,899 --> 01:01:15,442
Guys, there's something
I need to tell you.

1006
01:01:16,569 --> 01:01:20,489
Last night on the roof,
before we went out...

1007
01:01:21,699 --> 01:01:24,451
I slipped something
in our Jägermeister.

1008
01:01:25,286 --> 01:01:28,080
- What?
- I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys.

1009
01:01:29,332 --> 01:01:32,793
- You drugged us?
- No, I didn't drug you.

1010
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,253
I was told it was ecstasy.

1011
01:01:35,421 --> 01:01:37,714
Well, who told you it was ecstasy?

1012
01:01:37,882 --> 01:01:39,925
The guy I bought it from
at the liquor store.

1013
01:01:40,093 --> 01:01:41,760
Why would you give us ecstasy?

1014
01:01:41,928 --> 01:01:45,430
I wanted everybody to have a good time
and I knew you guys wouldn't take it.

1015
01:01:45,598 --> 01:01:48,600
It was just one hit each.
I used to do three hits a night.

1016
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:52,896
But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan,
it was roofies!

1017
01:01:53,064 --> 01:01:54,523
You think I knew that, Stu?

1018
01:01:55,024 --> 01:01:57,943
The guy I bought it from
seemed like a real straight shooter.

1019
01:01:58,111 --> 01:02:01,071
You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store
wasn't a good guy?

1020
01:02:01,239 --> 01:02:02,280
Let's just calm down.

1021
01:02:02,448 --> 01:02:07,911
You fucking calm down! He drugged us.
I lost a tooth. I married a whore.

1022
01:02:08,079 --> 01:02:12,040
- How dare you! She's a nice lady.
- You are such a fucking moron.

1023
01:02:12,208 --> 01:02:15,043
- Your language is offensive.
- Fuck you!

1024
01:02:15,211 --> 01:02:17,629
All right,
let's just take a deep breath, okay?

1025
01:02:18,423 --> 01:02:19,881
Seriously, this is a good thing.

1026
01:02:20,049 --> 01:02:23,969
At least it's not some stranger who
drugged us for God knows what reason.

1027
01:02:24,137 --> 01:02:27,889
Yeah, you're right, Phil,
it's totally a good thing.

1028
01:02:28,057 --> 01:02:30,392
We're so much better off now.

1029
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:34,229
Here's something
I would like to remind you two of:

1030
01:02:34,397 --> 01:02:38,692
Our best friend Doug is probably
facedown in a ditch right now...

1031
01:02:38,860 --> 01:02:41,820
with a meth-head butt-fucking
his corpse.

1032
01:02:41,988 --> 01:02:44,114
- That's highly unlikely.
- It's true.

1033
01:02:44,282 --> 01:02:47,993
Does not help.
All right, let's get our shit together, guys.

1034
01:02:48,161 --> 01:02:51,413
Let's go back to the hotel,
and I'm gonna make a couple calls.

1035
01:02:51,581 --> 01:02:53,582
Maybe Doug's back there.
Maybe he's asleep.

1036
01:02:53,750 --> 01:02:55,834
Come on. Let's go.

1037
01:02:56,002 --> 01:03:00,547
- Stu? Little help?
- Shut up.

1038
01:03:03,384 --> 01:03:06,261
- Ow.
- Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay?

1039
01:03:06,429 --> 01:03:08,972
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Alan, I'm sorry.

1040
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,401
Wait, guys. Guys.

1041
01:03:21,569 --> 01:03:23,445
What about the tiger?
What if he got out?

1042
01:03:23,613 --> 01:03:28,283
Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting
about the goddamn tiger.

1043
01:03:28,701 --> 01:03:30,202
How the fuck did he get in there?

1044
01:03:30,661 --> 01:03:35,791
- I don't know, because I don't remember.
- Shh. Stu. Stu, keep it down.

1045
01:03:35,958 --> 01:03:39,377
Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh,
roofies is memory loss.

1046
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,715
You are literally too stupid to insult.

1047
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:46,760
- Thank you.
- Hey.

1048
01:03:51,390 --> 01:03:53,433
Hey, come on.

1049
01:03:56,562 --> 01:03:58,688
Did we leave the music on?

1050
01:03:58,981 --> 01:04:00,357
Hey. Shh.

1051
01:04:02,193 --> 01:04:04,778
Don't make any sudden movements.

1052
01:04:06,322 --> 01:04:07,364
- Unh. Whoa!
- Aah!

1053
01:04:07,532 --> 01:04:09,324
- Who the hell are you?
- No, who are you?

1054
01:04:09,492 --> 01:04:10,575
Quiet, quiet.

1055
01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:15,747
Mike Tyson?

1056
01:04:15,915 --> 01:04:19,751
Shh. This is my favorite part
coming up right now.

1057
01:04:28,427 --> 01:04:29,511
Need a chorus line, guys.

1058
01:04:38,271 --> 01:04:39,563
One more time, guys.

1059
01:04:41,774 --> 01:04:43,024
Oh, Jesus!

1060
01:04:44,235 --> 01:04:45,527
Oh, fuck!

1061
01:04:46,279 --> 01:04:47,445
Why did you do that?

1062
01:04:48,364 --> 01:04:51,950
Mr. Tyson would like to know
why is his tiger in your bathroom.

1063
01:04:52,118 --> 01:04:54,452
Hold on,
that was completely unnecessary.

1064
01:04:54,620 --> 01:04:57,163
I'm a huge fan.
When you knocked out Holmes, that was...

1065
01:04:57,331 --> 01:04:59,124
Explain.

1066
01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:03,336
All right, look, we were drugged last night.
We have no memory of what happened.

1067
01:05:03,504 --> 01:05:04,546
It's true.

1068
01:05:04,714 --> 01:05:08,174
We got in all kinds of trouble last night
and now we can't find our friend.

1069
01:05:08,342 --> 01:05:11,303
If you wanna kill us,
go ahead because I don't care anymore.

1070
01:05:11,470 --> 01:05:13,471
- What are you talking about?
- I don't care.

1071
01:05:13,639 --> 01:05:16,057
Why the fuck
would you wanna steal his tiger?

1072
01:05:16,225 --> 01:05:19,269
We tend to do dumb shit
when we're fucked up.

1073
01:05:19,437 --> 01:05:23,148
- I don't believe these guys, man.
- Wait, how did you guys find us?

1074
01:05:23,316 --> 01:05:27,110
One of you dropped your jacket.
Found it in the tigers' cage this morning.

1075
01:05:27,278 --> 01:05:28,612
That's Doug's.

1076
01:05:28,779 --> 01:05:31,948
Yeah, Doug.
His wallet and his room key is in there.

1077
01:05:32,116 --> 01:05:34,951
- No, that's our missing friend.
- I don't give a fuck.

1078
01:05:35,119 --> 01:05:37,203
- Did you guys see him?
- I was fast asleep.

1079
01:05:37,371 --> 01:05:40,332
Because if he was up, this
wouldn't have gone down so smoothly.

1080
01:05:40,499 --> 01:05:42,459
Maybe one of the tigers
ate his ass like Omar.

1081
01:05:43,002 --> 01:05:44,002
Respect.

1082
01:05:44,170 --> 01:05:45,295
Wha... What happened to Omar?

1083
01:05:45,463 --> 01:05:47,839
Oh, don't worry about Omar,
he's not with us no more.

1084
01:05:48,007 --> 01:05:50,258
Okay, I know this is asking a lot...

1085
01:05:50,426 --> 01:05:53,386
but do you think we could
go to your house and look around...

1086
01:05:53,554 --> 01:05:55,263
see if there's any clues?

1087
01:05:55,431 --> 01:05:59,643
Absolutely. How else you think
we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?

1088
01:05:59,810 --> 01:06:02,771
- Come on, champ.
- I'm sorry?

1089
01:06:03,356 --> 01:06:07,359
We're not gonna put it in the Bentley.
You brought it here, you bring it back.

1090
01:06:07,526 --> 01:06:09,986
What you think, about 40 minutes?

1091
01:06:10,404 --> 01:06:12,906
Don't make me come back for him.

1092
01:06:16,619 --> 01:06:19,663
- That was Mike Tyson.
- Yeah, no shit that was Mike Tyson.

1093
01:06:19,830 --> 01:06:21,539
I'm just saying, he's still got it.

1094
01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:24,376
Alan.

1095
01:06:24,543 --> 01:06:25,585
Bud, are you okay?

1096
01:06:25,753 --> 01:06:27,170
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!

1097
01:06:27,338 --> 01:06:28,630
Fuck, where'd he get him?

1098
01:06:28,798 --> 01:06:29,839
Hey.

1099
01:06:35,096 --> 01:06:36,638
This does not seem fair.

1100
01:06:37,723 --> 01:06:40,725
It's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
There's nothing more fair.

1101
01:06:40,893 --> 01:06:44,187
- Alan should do it.
- Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson.

1102
01:06:44,355 --> 01:06:46,398
Come on. For Doug.

1103
01:06:46,565 --> 01:06:49,818
Why are you peppering the steak?
You don't know if tigers like pepper.

1104
01:06:49,986 --> 01:06:53,113
Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.

1105
01:06:55,574 --> 01:06:58,368
Phil, just do it. You should do it.

1106
01:06:58,536 --> 01:07:01,830
I would, but you lost.
It wouldn't be right.

1107
01:07:01,998 --> 01:07:04,749
Okay, I jammed five roofies in there.

1108
01:07:04,917 --> 01:07:07,377
Just go in there and throw it in to him.

1109
01:07:08,337 --> 01:07:09,921
Fine.

1110
01:07:11,090 --> 01:07:12,674
Make sure he eats the whole thing.

1111
01:07:18,431 --> 01:07:19,931
Fuck.

1112
01:07:20,099 --> 01:07:21,891
Oh, fuck.

1113
01:07:24,687 --> 01:07:26,479
Hey, kitty.

1114
01:07:27,023 --> 01:07:31,026
Hey, sweetie, it's okay.
I got a little snack for you.

1115
01:07:31,193 --> 01:07:33,778
Real important that you eat this, okay?

1116
01:07:34,697 --> 01:07:36,948
Yeah, just have a little...

1117
01:07:40,286 --> 01:07:41,327
Shit!

1118
01:07:43,998 --> 01:07:45,165
What do we do now?

1119
01:07:46,042 --> 01:07:47,709
We wait.

1120
01:07:57,553 --> 01:08:00,722
What do tigers dream of

1121
01:08:00,890 --> 01:08:04,476
When they take a little tiger snooze?

1122
01:08:04,643 --> 01:08:07,854
Do they dream of mauling zebras

1123
01:08:08,022 --> 01:08:12,150
Or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit?

1124
01:08:12,318 --> 01:08:15,153
Don't you worry your pretty striped head

1125
01:08:15,321 --> 01:08:19,199
We're gonna get you back to Tyson
And your cozy tiger bed

1126
01:08:19,366 --> 01:08:22,535
And then we're gonna find
Our best friend Doug

1127
01:08:22,703 --> 01:08:26,331
And then we're gonna give him
A best-friend hug

1128
01:08:26,499 --> 01:08:28,083
Doug

1129
01:08:28,250 --> 01:08:30,043
Doug

1130
01:08:30,211 --> 01:08:34,714
Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug

1131
01:08:34,882 --> 01:08:40,011
But if he's been murdered
By crystal-meth tweakers

1132
01:08:41,847 --> 01:08:44,808
Well, then we're shit out of luck

1133
01:08:50,314 --> 01:08:52,690
By the way, we're all gonna die.

1134
01:08:57,029 --> 01:08:58,446
Wait.

1135
01:09:02,201 --> 01:09:03,368
- Oh, God.
- Watch it!

1136
01:09:03,536 --> 01:09:06,871
His nose. That's his nose.

1137
01:09:11,836 --> 01:09:14,546
Please don't stop. Please don't stop.

1138
01:09:15,881 --> 01:09:18,216
Please don't... Goddamn it.

1139
01:09:18,551 --> 01:09:21,719
I'm gonna beat you! Ha-ha-ha.

1140
01:09:22,471 --> 01:09:23,763
Oh... He won again.

1141
01:09:26,225 --> 01:09:30,520
- Hey, fellas. Rough night?
- Mm-hm.

1142
01:09:30,688 --> 01:09:32,230
Sweetie, stay close to Mama.

1143
01:09:34,275 --> 01:09:36,734
- What's this?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1144
01:09:36,902 --> 01:09:39,904
Take it easy, little man.
You don't wanna be touching that.

1145
01:09:40,239 --> 01:09:42,824
No, partner, that's not your property.

1146
01:09:46,495 --> 01:09:48,496
So, what do you guys got under there?

1147
01:09:48,664 --> 01:09:51,541
Just a whole bunch of
"mind your own business."

1148
01:09:51,917 --> 01:09:54,085
- Easy, Phil.
- He's correct. My fault.

1149
01:09:54,545 --> 01:09:56,421
- You okay?
- Aren't we riding an elevator?

1150
01:09:56,589 --> 01:09:59,424
Why, is this Jeopardy?
What the fuck is this bullshit?

1151
01:09:59,592 --> 01:10:03,094
- Please, with the language.
- Yes.

1152
01:10:04,138 --> 01:10:06,097
- I fully agree.
- Oh.

1153
01:10:14,273 --> 01:10:16,941
Hey, guys, when's the next
Halley's comet?

1154
01:10:17,902 --> 01:10:20,904
- Who cares, man?
- Do you know, Stu?

1155
01:10:21,447 --> 01:10:24,616
I don't think it's for, like,
another 60 years or something.

1156
01:10:24,783 --> 01:10:27,744
- But it's not tonight, right?
- No, I don't think so.

1157
01:10:27,912 --> 01:10:29,829
But you don't know for sure?

1158
01:10:29,997 --> 01:10:31,623
No.

1159
01:10:31,790 --> 01:10:34,375
I got this cousin who saw one.
He said it blew his mind.

1160
01:10:34,543 --> 01:10:37,462
I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out
on a Halley's Comet.

1161
01:10:37,630 --> 01:10:39,923
So if you guys
know if there's gonna be one...

1162
01:10:40,090 --> 01:10:41,132
Oh, fuck!

1163
01:11:01,237 --> 01:11:02,487
- Oh, my God!
- Fuck it!

1164
01:11:03,113 --> 01:11:05,490
Stu! Stu, it got me! Stu!

1165
01:11:05,658 --> 01:11:08,117
You got clawed! You're bleeding!

1166
01:11:10,579 --> 01:11:12,247
- Oh.
- I'm panicking.

1167
01:11:12,414 --> 01:11:14,040
- Aah!
- Oh, my God.

1168
01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:16,751
Okay. Okay, okay. Wait, hold on.

1169
01:11:26,178 --> 01:11:28,680
- I can't do it.
- Get your fucking hand back in there...

1170
01:11:28,847 --> 01:11:30,682
and steer the car.
- I'm too nervous.

1171
01:11:30,849 --> 01:11:33,559
Alan. We need you, buddy.
This is your time to shine, okay?

1172
01:11:33,727 --> 01:11:35,687
Okay, yeah. Whew.

1173
01:11:36,188 --> 01:11:37,188
Daddy's gonna kill me.

1174
01:11:37,356 --> 01:11:39,023
- That's it.
- That's good.

1175
01:11:39,191 --> 01:11:41,109
Keep it straight.

1176
01:11:50,494 --> 01:11:52,203
- You're late.
- Whatever, man.

1177
01:11:52,371 --> 01:11:54,163
We had to push it the last mile.

1178
01:11:54,331 --> 01:11:57,166
Come on in. Mike's got something
he wants to show you.

1179
01:12:02,339 --> 01:12:05,466
That thing's out of control, man.
Seriously, you gotta put it down.

1180
01:12:07,803 --> 01:12:10,722
When we got back,
we took a look at the security cameras.

1181
01:12:10,889 --> 01:12:12,015
Great.

1182
01:12:14,435 --> 01:12:16,686
This is how you walk.
This is how you walk.

1183
01:12:16,854 --> 01:12:20,231
- Oh, it's Doug.
- Oh, thank God he's alive.

1184
01:12:20,399 --> 01:12:23,526
That's our buddy.
That's who we've been missing.

1185
01:12:23,694 --> 01:12:24,944
We're all best friends.

1186
01:12:25,112 --> 01:12:27,739
Why don't you just pay attention?
I don't have all night.

1187
01:12:27,906 --> 01:12:29,240
Yeah, of course. Of course.

1188
01:12:30,659 --> 01:12:33,995
- What are you doing?
- Hey, guys. Check it out. Watch this.

1189
01:12:34,163 --> 01:12:37,749
That's me, I'm on TV.
I've never been on TV before.

1190
01:12:37,916 --> 01:12:39,000
What are you doing, man?

1191
01:12:39,168 --> 01:12:41,419
Really? Really, Alan?

1192
01:12:42,004 --> 01:12:43,212
You got a fire hose, man?

1193
01:12:45,090 --> 01:12:46,174
Yeah, I was, uh...

1194
01:12:48,010 --> 01:12:50,970
You're gonna overflow the pool, man.

1195
01:12:51,972 --> 01:12:55,058
- Maybe... Should I wait outside?
- I think that's a good idea, Alan.

1196
01:12:55,267 --> 01:12:56,392
Yeah.

1197
01:12:58,103 --> 01:13:00,063
Don't touch anything out there, either.

1198
01:13:00,731 --> 01:13:04,359
You know what? He's not our good fr...
We don't know him that well.

1199
01:13:06,528 --> 01:13:09,280
Come on. Come on, come on.

1200
01:13:09,698 --> 01:13:11,741
By the way,
where you get that cop car from?

1201
01:13:11,909 --> 01:13:14,744
We, uh, stole it from
these dumb-ass cops.

1202
01:13:14,912 --> 01:13:16,079
Nice.

1203
01:13:18,707 --> 01:13:21,292
High five that one.

1204
01:13:21,460 --> 01:13:23,252
Yeah, that's nice.

1205
01:13:23,420 --> 01:13:24,879
You know, I just have to say...

1206
01:13:25,047 --> 01:13:28,549
I have never seen a more beautiful,
elegant, just regal creature.

1207
01:13:28,717 --> 01:13:31,219
Check it out. Stu. Stu.
Fuck this tiger.

1208
01:13:31,387 --> 01:13:34,806
- Oh, my God. That's awful.
- Oh, man.

1209
01:13:36,183 --> 01:13:38,976
- Oh, shit.
- Who does shit like that, man?

1210
01:13:39,853 --> 01:13:43,815
Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously.
I'm a sick man.

1211
01:13:44,233 --> 01:13:46,192
Oh, my God.

1212
01:13:47,444 --> 01:13:48,611
That's all we got.

1213
01:13:49,363 --> 01:13:52,407
This was hugely helpful.

1214
01:13:52,574 --> 01:13:55,493
Really. Because now we know
that our buddy Doug...

1215
01:13:55,661 --> 01:13:58,579
was with us at 3:30, totally alive.

1216
01:13:59,039 --> 01:14:04,293
Thanks again, champ. And, uh, again,
we are so sorry we stole your tiger.

1217
01:14:04,461 --> 01:14:05,670
Don't worry about it, man.

1218
01:14:05,838 --> 01:14:08,381
Like you said, we all do dumb shit
when we're fucked up.

1219
01:14:10,843 --> 01:14:13,678
- I told you he'd get it.
- I did say that.

1220
01:14:17,516 --> 01:14:20,017
You know, everyone says
Mike Tyson is such a badass...

1221
01:14:20,185 --> 01:14:22,854
but I think he's kind of a sweetheart.

1222
01:14:23,021 --> 01:14:24,939
I think he's mean.

1223
01:14:25,107 --> 01:14:28,443
All right. I think it's officially time
we call Tracy.

1224
01:14:28,610 --> 01:14:32,530
Hallelujah. Finally, Phil says something
that makes sense.

1225
01:14:32,698 --> 01:14:35,658
We don't have much of a choice.
And maybe she's heard from Doug.

1226
01:14:35,826 --> 01:14:37,827
That's what I been saying this whole time.

1227
01:14:38,954 --> 01:14:42,331
We just need to be completely honest.
We need to tell her everything.

1228
01:14:43,917 --> 01:14:47,003
We don't have to tell her everything.
We can leave out the stuff...

1229
01:14:47,171 --> 01:14:49,380
about me marrying a hooker.

1230
01:14:49,548 --> 01:14:52,133
Just stay focused on Doug.

1231
01:14:52,301 --> 01:14:55,553
- What am I gonna tell my dad?
- Alan, relax. It's just the inside.

1232
01:14:55,721 --> 01:14:58,556
Come on. I got a guy in I.A.
Who's great with interiors.

1233
01:15:09,067 --> 01:15:12,612
- Oh, Jesus!
- Oh, my God.

1234
01:15:16,241 --> 01:15:18,534
- Are you guys okay?
- What the fuck?

1235
01:15:27,211 --> 01:15:30,755
I know that guy.
That's the guy from the trunk.

1236
01:15:31,298 --> 01:15:34,175
Get out of the car. Please.

1237
01:15:35,260 --> 01:15:37,637
W... W... Wait.
Those are the guys that shot Eddie.

1238
01:15:39,097 --> 01:15:40,223
- Listen...
- Let's go!

1239
01:15:40,390 --> 01:15:42,099
- Okay.
- Oh, no.

1240
01:15:42,267 --> 01:15:43,768
- Easy, easy.
- Come on.

1241
01:15:43,936 --> 01:15:45,520
Okay. All right.

1242
01:15:45,687 --> 01:15:47,647
- All right, all right.
- Let's go.

1243
01:15:48,190 --> 01:15:51,567
Hey, relax. Ow. Ow. Ow!

1244
01:15:51,735 --> 01:15:53,778
- I have whiplash.
- Get this other fat boy.

1245
01:15:53,946 --> 01:15:55,404
Get the fat boy.

1246
01:15:55,572 --> 01:15:56,614
Hey, hey, hey.

1247
01:15:56,782 --> 01:15:59,700
- All right, all right.
- Hey, take it easy, take it easy!

1248
01:16:00,285 --> 01:16:04,664
I want my purse back, assholes.

1249
01:16:05,916 --> 01:16:08,918
- What? Your purse?
- That's not a purse, it's a satchel.

1250
01:16:09,086 --> 01:16:13,673
It's a purse. Okay?
And you steal from wrong guy.

1251
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:16,551
Wait a second, wait a second.
We stole from you?

1252
01:16:16,718 --> 01:16:17,802
Okay, you know what?

1253
01:16:17,970 --> 01:16:21,347
We don't remember anything
that happened last night...

1254
01:16:21,515 --> 01:16:23,683
so help us out a little here.

1255
01:16:23,850 --> 01:16:27,979
Well, apparently you guys met
at a craps table late last night.

1256
01:16:28,146 --> 01:16:30,481
You were on a heater,
and he played your hot streak.

1257
01:16:30,649 --> 01:16:34,151
- He ended up winning just under 80 grand.
- No shit? Eighty grand is nice.

1258
01:16:34,319 --> 01:16:35,403
Okay, that's good.

1259
01:16:35,571 --> 01:16:38,823
He put the chips in his purse,
and then you guys took off with it.

1260
01:16:38,991 --> 01:16:40,700
That doesn't sound like us.

1261
01:16:40,867 --> 01:16:46,581
Mine had $80,000 inside.
And this one? Nothing.

1262
01:16:46,748 --> 01:16:48,416
Hey, there are Skittles in there.

1263
01:16:48,834 --> 01:16:51,002
Ow! Oh, not again.

1264
01:16:52,588 --> 01:16:55,047
Don't let the beard fool you.
He's a child.

1265
01:16:55,215 --> 01:16:57,174
It's funny because he's fat.

1266
01:16:57,342 --> 01:17:00,803
Now, look, this was obviously
a very simple misunderstanding.

1267
01:17:00,971 --> 01:17:03,764
Alan picked up the wrong purse,
it's no big deal.

1268
01:17:03,932 --> 01:17:07,768
Okay, if it's, "No big deal,"
why, when I come after you guys...

1269
01:17:07,936 --> 01:17:11,772
he starts screaming like crazy and
throw me in trunk?

1270
01:17:11,982 --> 01:17:13,024
What, I did that?

1271
01:17:13,191 --> 01:17:16,777
Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm,
and you want to take him home with you.

1272
01:17:18,780 --> 01:17:20,906
- Lucky charm.
- Oh, it's just funny.

1273
01:17:23,076 --> 01:17:24,201
Fuck you.

1274
01:17:25,495 --> 01:17:29,874
If you want to see your friend again,
you get me my 80 grand.

1275
01:17:30,042 --> 01:17:31,500
- What?
- Our friend?

1276
01:17:31,668 --> 01:17:33,794
- You have Doug?
- You know about our friend?

1277
01:17:35,547 --> 01:17:37,506
- Doug!
- Doug!

1278
01:17:38,467 --> 01:17:41,886
- Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car!
- Doug, it's okay!

1279
01:17:42,054 --> 01:17:43,846
You chill out, goatee!

1280
01:17:44,348 --> 01:17:48,184
- Okay, okay. All right, fine, fine.
- What do you want?

1281
01:17:48,352 --> 01:17:51,228
Not so good now.
Quid pro quo, douche bag.

1282
01:17:51,396 --> 01:17:52,521
What?

1283
01:17:52,689 --> 01:17:55,399
Look, we're very sorry.
But this is an easy fix.

1284
01:17:55,567 --> 01:17:57,652
- Alan, where's his purse?
- I don't know.

1285
01:17:57,819 --> 01:18:00,363
- It's in the hotel room, right?
- Yeah, we can get it.

1286
01:18:00,530 --> 01:18:03,407
We can get you the...
We can even write you a check right now.

1287
01:18:03,575 --> 01:18:05,034
No chance. Cash only.

1288
01:18:05,202 --> 01:18:07,745
- There's a person in there.
- Boring.

1289
01:18:09,498 --> 01:18:11,123
Take nap. Come on.

1290
01:18:11,333 --> 01:18:13,084
Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you!

1291
01:18:13,251 --> 01:18:16,754
- Doug, it's okay.
- You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper!

1292
01:18:16,922 --> 01:18:19,215
- Wait.
- Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.

1293
01:18:20,509 --> 01:18:21,926
Stop.

1294
01:18:22,427 --> 01:18:24,261
Stop. Run me over.

1295
01:18:24,971 --> 01:18:27,431
- Okay. Whoa. Whoa.
- Stu, Stu, Stu.

1296
01:18:28,892 --> 01:18:33,354
Bring money to Big Rock
in Mojave Desert at dawn.

1297
01:18:33,522 --> 01:18:37,817
- What?
- Toodle-oo, motherfucker.

1298
01:18:40,445 --> 01:18:44,657
Well, at least take the bag
off his head! Fuck!

1299
01:18:46,284 --> 01:18:47,743
Oh!

1300
01:18:56,128 --> 01:18:58,045
Come on, get out of here.

1301
01:19:03,552 --> 01:19:07,596
Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this
morning before we left. It's not anywhere.

1302
01:19:07,764 --> 01:19:09,265
Fuck.

1303
01:19:12,352 --> 01:19:13,978
Stu, how much you got in the bank?

1304
01:19:14,146 --> 01:19:16,731
About 10 grand.
I was gonna use it for the wedding.

1305
01:19:16,898 --> 01:19:18,983
You're already married,
so we're good there.

1306
01:19:19,151 --> 01:19:21,318
Besides, enough with Melissa,
she's the worst.

1307
01:19:21,486 --> 01:19:24,155
Yeah, Doug told me she had sex
with a pilot or something.

1308
01:19:24,322 --> 01:19:28,117
It was a bartender on a cruise.
What is wrong with you people?

1309
01:19:28,285 --> 01:19:32,580
- Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
- Yes.

1310
01:19:33,623 --> 01:19:35,458
What are we gonna do?
We are so fucked.

1311
01:19:36,418 --> 01:19:37,460
Hey, guys?

1312
01:19:37,627 --> 01:19:39,670
- Did you find it?
- Nope.

1313
01:19:40,839 --> 01:19:42,673
But check this out.

1314
01:20:29,888 --> 01:20:32,139
Change only, 10,000.

1315
01:20:35,894 --> 01:20:39,188
- Hey, uh, these seats taken?
- No, feel free.

1316
01:20:43,902 --> 01:20:46,570
All right, let's play some blackjack!

1317
01:21:08,844 --> 01:21:11,428
That's it. Shut up, bitches.

1318
01:21:15,642 --> 01:21:16,976
Hmm.

1319
01:21:19,020 --> 01:21:22,189
- I'll stick.
- Oh, fuck you! Fuck you!

1320
01:21:28,113 --> 01:21:30,114
Splitting fives.

1321
01:21:31,241 --> 01:21:32,449
- Too many.
- Yes!

1322
01:21:36,371 --> 01:21:39,623
I don't even know you,
but I'm gonna tell you that's dumb.

1323
01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:41,959
- Yes!
- Oh!

1324
01:21:42,127 --> 01:21:45,462
Okay, come on.
He can't lose. He can't lose.

1325
01:21:46,715 --> 01:21:48,841
I think the pit boss is watching him.

1326
01:22:06,651 --> 01:22:07,902
- Oh, my God.
- Are you okay?

1327
01:22:08,069 --> 01:22:11,405
I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous
when I gamble. I'm so silly.

1328
01:22:11,573 --> 01:22:15,034
- It happens.
- Whoa. Hold on a beat, okay?

1329
01:22:15,201 --> 01:22:18,329
- Let's just take it easy. This is my wife.
- It's hurting.

1330
01:22:18,496 --> 01:22:19,997
Make sure... Does it hurt? Does this hurt?

1331
01:22:20,165 --> 01:22:21,498
- Oh, ow.
- You all right?

1332
01:22:21,666 --> 01:22:23,918
- I don't know.
- I don't know either. I don't...

1333
01:22:24,085 --> 01:22:25,419
I think you're fine. Let's go.

1334
01:22:25,587 --> 01:22:28,297
- Really? Okay.
- Upsy-daisy, there.

1335
01:22:28,465 --> 01:22:31,425
I'm sorry,
she's had a little too much to drink.

1336
01:22:31,593 --> 01:22:34,720
Thanks, buddy. That's for you.

1337
01:22:43,063 --> 01:22:45,814
And 100, 200, 300, 400.

1338
01:22:45,982 --> 01:22:49,526
With all this, that's $82,400.

1339
01:22:49,694 --> 01:22:53,113
- Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it.
- Whoo!

1340
01:22:53,281 --> 01:22:56,200
- Alan, you're the man.
- You are too, Phil.

1341
01:22:56,368 --> 01:22:59,036
We should come back next week,
take the whole city down.

1342
01:22:59,204 --> 01:23:00,412
Oh, I'm free next week.

1343
01:23:00,580 --> 01:23:04,291
Or we could just focus
on getting Doug back, right now.

1344
01:23:04,459 --> 01:23:07,711
Uh, you know what? Next week's no good,
the Jonas Brothers are in town.

1345
01:23:07,879 --> 01:23:10,464
But any week after that is totally fine.

1346
01:23:10,632 --> 01:23:14,051
I think it's safe to say that our luck
has officially turned around, guys.

1347
01:23:14,219 --> 01:23:19,556
- We are back, baby. We are fucking back.
- We're back. Classic.

1348
01:23:19,724 --> 01:23:21,558
We are back, we are back

1349
01:23:21,726 --> 01:23:23,060
That's right.

1350
01:23:23,228 --> 01:23:25,562
We are getting Doug back

1351
01:23:25,730 --> 01:23:28,899
And we're the three best friends
That anybody could have

1352
01:23:29,067 --> 01:23:31,902
We're the three best friends
That anyone could have

1353
01:23:32,070 --> 01:23:35,572
We're the three best friends
That anyone can have

1354
01:23:35,740 --> 01:23:38,742
And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever
Leave each other

1355
01:23:38,910 --> 01:23:41,704
We're the best three friends
That anybody could have

1356
01:23:41,871 --> 01:23:44,707
I mean, the three best friends
That anybody could have

1357
01:23:44,874 --> 01:23:48,002
That's right, the three best friends
That anybody can have

1358
01:24:06,062 --> 01:24:08,105
- Now what?
- Give him the signal.

1359
01:24:08,273 --> 01:24:11,900
- What signal?
- Flash your lights. Let him know it's on.

1360
01:24:12,068 --> 01:24:14,987
- What's on?
- The deal.

1361
01:24:15,155 --> 01:24:18,907
Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles
into the desert. He knows it's on.

1362
01:24:19,075 --> 01:24:21,201
Phil, just do something.

1363
01:24:22,412 --> 01:24:23,704
Fine.

1364
01:24:26,791 --> 01:24:28,625
- Oh, shit.
- See?

1365
01:24:28,793 --> 01:24:30,794
All right, let's go.

1366
01:24:44,100 --> 01:24:46,226
Funny fat guy fall on face.

1367
01:24:46,394 --> 01:24:47,811
You okay?

1368
01:24:47,979 --> 01:24:50,773
All right, we got the money.
Eighty grand, cash.

1369
01:24:50,940 --> 01:24:53,108
Throw it over. Then I give you Doug.

1370
01:24:53,276 --> 01:24:58,322
Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning.
And we didn't catch your name last night.

1371
01:24:58,490 --> 01:25:01,492
Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow.

1372
01:25:01,659 --> 01:25:03,994
Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure.
My name is Stu.

1373
01:25:04,162 --> 01:25:08,916
And we would very much appreciate
an opportunity to see Doug...

1374
01:25:09,084 --> 01:25:12,002
before we give you the money,
just to verify that he's okay.

1375
01:25:12,170 --> 01:25:17,466
- If that's cool.
- Of course, Stu. That is cool.

1376
01:25:27,310 --> 01:25:29,520
- Oh, thank God.
- Okay.

1377
01:25:29,687 --> 01:25:32,648
See, he fine. Now give me money...

1378
01:25:32,816 --> 01:25:36,777
or I shoot him,
and I shoot all you motherfuckers.

1379
01:25:36,945 --> 01:25:40,614
And then we take it.
Your choice, bitches.

1380
01:25:41,282 --> 01:25:42,783
- Give him the money, Stu.
- Okay.

1381
01:25:52,544 --> 01:25:55,379
- It's all there.
- Let him go.

1382
01:25:58,341 --> 01:26:00,717
All right, take it easy. Take it easy.

1383
01:26:01,386 --> 01:26:02,553
Ta-da.

1384
01:26:03,888 --> 01:26:05,973
Is this some kind ofjoke?
Who the hell is this?

1385
01:26:06,141 --> 01:26:07,182
That is not Doug.

1386
01:26:07,350 --> 01:26:10,310
What you talking about, Willis?
That him.

1387
01:26:10,478 --> 01:26:12,896
No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow.
That's not our friend.

1388
01:26:13,064 --> 01:26:16,108
- He... That's...
- The Doug we're looking for is a white.

1389
01:26:17,068 --> 01:26:20,863
Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy,
little boy.

1390
01:26:21,030 --> 01:26:23,532
Damn, Alan,
what the fuck you got me into?

1391
01:26:23,700 --> 01:26:26,410
- You know him?
- This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs.

1392
01:26:26,578 --> 01:26:29,121
- How you doing?
- I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs.

1393
01:26:29,289 --> 01:26:34,418
- Wait. He sold you the Ruphylin?
- Ruphylin? I sold you that Ru...? Wha...?

1394
01:26:34,586 --> 01:26:38,672
- Who gives a shit? Where is Doug?
- I am Doug.

1395
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:41,175
- Your name's Doug?
- Yes, I'm Doug.

1396
01:26:41,342 --> 01:26:44,052
His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up.

1397
01:26:44,220 --> 01:26:45,387
Come on.

1398
01:26:45,555 --> 01:26:49,766
- Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug.
- Not my problem.

1399
01:26:49,934 --> 01:26:53,604
No, fuck that shit. Now, you give us
our 80 grand back and take him with you!

1400
01:26:53,771 --> 01:26:58,442
- No. Come on. I'll be your Doug.
- Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him back.

1401
01:26:58,610 --> 01:27:01,528
Right after you suck on
these little Chinese nuts.

1402
01:27:01,905 --> 01:27:04,948
- Ah. That's nasty.
- Mmm. How that sound?

1403
01:27:05,116 --> 01:27:06,658
Unh, pshh.

1404
01:27:06,826 --> 01:27:10,829
- So long, gay boys.
- Wait a second.

1405
01:27:10,997 --> 01:27:12,748
He's a nasty little motherfucker.

1406
01:27:12,916 --> 01:27:14,041
Did you ever get any ecstasy?

1407
01:27:14,209 --> 01:27:16,293
No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy.

1408
01:27:16,461 --> 01:27:19,671
- Goddamn it!
- Gosh darn it!

1409
01:27:19,839 --> 01:27:22,966
- Shit!
- Shoot!

1410
01:27:32,477 --> 01:27:34,645
Hello?
- Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.

1411
01:27:34,812 --> 01:27:38,440
Phil, where the hell are you guys?
I'm freaking out.

1412
01:27:38,608 --> 01:27:40,317
Yeah, listen.

1413
01:27:42,737 --> 01:27:44,321
We fucked up.

1414
01:27:44,489 --> 01:27:46,740
Thanks for the lift back to town.

1415
01:27:48,409 --> 01:27:50,160
- I got a question for you.
- What's up?

1416
01:27:50,328 --> 01:27:52,162
How did you wind up in Chow's car?

1417
01:27:52,914 --> 01:27:55,249
That crazy asshole
kidnapped me yesterday.

1418
01:27:55,416 --> 01:27:57,626
Okay, but why? I mean, why you?

1419
01:27:57,794 --> 01:28:01,296
He thought I was with you guys because
we were hanging over at the Bellagio.

1420
01:28:01,464 --> 01:28:03,173
- What?
- We were at the Bellagio?

1421
01:28:03,341 --> 01:28:05,300
We were shooting craps.
You don't remember?

1422
01:28:05,468 --> 01:28:07,803
No. No, we don't remember.

1423
01:28:07,971 --> 01:28:13,058
Because some dick drug dealer sold him
Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy.

1424
01:28:13,226 --> 01:28:17,562
Ruphylin. There you go with that word.
Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?

1425
01:28:17,730 --> 01:28:21,984
Wow, you are
the world's shittiest drug dealer.

1426
01:28:22,151 --> 01:28:27,614
Ruphylin, for your information,
is the date-rape drug. You sold Alan roofies.

1427
01:28:27,782 --> 01:28:31,326
Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags.
My fault, Alan.

1428
01:28:31,494 --> 01:28:34,538
Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me
on that one.

1429
01:28:35,039 --> 01:28:38,083
- Whatever.
- It's funny, because just the other day...

1430
01:28:38,251 --> 01:28:41,461
me and my boy, we was wondering
why they even call them roofies.

1431
01:28:41,629 --> 01:28:44,631
- You know what I'm talking about?
- No. Don't know.

1432
01:28:44,799 --> 01:28:47,259
Why not floories, right?
Because when you take them...

1433
01:28:47,427 --> 01:28:50,595
you're more likely
to end up on the floor than the roof.

1434
01:28:50,930 --> 01:28:54,224
What about groundies?
That's a good new name for them.

1435
01:28:54,392 --> 01:28:55,851
Or, how about rapies?

1436
01:28:56,477 --> 01:28:58,937
- Wait, what did you just say?
- Rapies.

1437
01:28:59,105 --> 01:29:02,816
- Not you. Doug, what did you say before?
- I said groundies.

1438
01:29:02,984 --> 01:29:04,026
No, before that.

1439
01:29:04,193 --> 01:29:09,656
You said, "You're more likely to wind up
on the floor than..."

1440
01:29:09,824 --> 01:29:12,576
- Phil.
- Listen, Trace, I'm really sorry. I...

1441
01:29:14,829 --> 01:29:17,706
Phil? Hello?
- Tracy, it's Stu.

1442
01:29:17,874 --> 01:29:20,083
Stu. Talk to me. What's going on?

1443
01:29:20,251 --> 01:29:22,210
Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil.

1444
01:29:22,378 --> 01:29:25,839
He's completely out of his mind.
He's probably still drunk from last night.

1445
01:29:26,007 --> 01:29:27,049
Where's Doug?

1446
01:29:27,216 --> 01:29:30,510
He is paying the bill.
We just had a delicious brunch.

1447
01:29:30,678 --> 01:29:33,096
We're in a hurry to get back,
so we gotta get going.

1448
01:29:33,264 --> 01:29:35,432
- Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.
- Stu.

1449
01:29:35,600 --> 01:29:37,768
Stu. Fuck.

1450
01:29:37,935 --> 01:29:41,605
- What the fuck, man?
- I know where Doug is.

1451
01:29:48,321 --> 01:29:50,030
I don't know, man. It just hit me.

1452
01:29:50,198 --> 01:29:53,116
You remember when we saw
Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?

1453
01:29:53,284 --> 01:29:55,619
- Yeah, we threw it out the window.
- No, impossible.

1454
01:29:55,787 --> 01:29:59,331
- You can't open windows in Vegas hotels.
- Well, then how did it get...?

1455
01:29:59,499 --> 01:30:01,708
- Oh, my God!
- Ha, ha, ha.

1456
01:30:01,876 --> 01:30:04,920
- Whoa, wait. What's going on?
- Doug was trying to signal someone.

1457
01:30:05,088 --> 01:30:06,546
- Holy shit.
- Yes.

1458
01:30:06,714 --> 01:30:09,591
- Wait. How did you figure that out?
- Doug made me realize it.

1459
01:30:09,759 --> 01:30:11,635
- Doug?
- Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug.

1460
01:30:11,803 --> 01:30:14,971
- Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on.
- Sorry.

1461
01:30:15,139 --> 01:30:16,973
Can someone tell me
where white Doug is?

1462
01:30:17,141 --> 01:30:18,725
- He's on the roof, Alan.
- Yes.

1463
01:30:18,893 --> 01:30:22,104
He's on the roof. We must have taken him
up there as a prank...

1464
01:30:22,271 --> 01:30:25,190
so he'd wake up on the roof.
- Like that time in summer camp.

1465
01:30:25,358 --> 01:30:27,484
We moved his sleeping bag
out in the jetty at the lake?

1466
01:30:27,652 --> 01:30:29,403
Ha, ha, ha. Which was hilarious.

1467
01:30:29,570 --> 01:30:32,656
It's not so funny now, though,
because we forgot where we put him.

1468
01:30:32,824 --> 01:30:34,658
You guys are retarded, you know that?

1469
01:30:34,826 --> 01:30:39,246
- Holy shit. You think he's still up there?
- There's only one way to find out.

1470
01:30:43,835 --> 01:30:45,168
Doug!

1471
01:30:45,336 --> 01:30:47,170
Doug!

1472
01:30:47,338 --> 01:30:49,464
- Doug!
- Doug, you up here, buddy?

1473
01:30:53,636 --> 01:30:55,679
Where you at, Doug?

1474
01:30:57,348 --> 01:30:58,974
Doug!

1475
01:31:02,687 --> 01:31:03,728
Hey, guys!

1476
01:31:04,689 --> 01:31:06,273
He's over here!

1477
01:31:07,984 --> 01:31:11,528
- Hey, I found him! He's over here!
- Oh, shit.

1478
01:31:14,031 --> 01:31:15,323
He's okay.

1479
01:31:15,825 --> 01:31:17,492
You're okay. Ha, ha, ha!

1480
01:31:17,660 --> 01:31:20,662
Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on.

1481
01:31:20,830 --> 01:31:23,832
Oh, we have been looking everywhere
for you.

1482
01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:27,085
- He's alive.
- What the fuck is going on?

1483
01:31:27,253 --> 01:31:30,297
We can explain everything,
but right now we gotta go.

1484
01:31:30,465 --> 01:31:34,509
- Hey, bud. You okay?
- No. Not okay.

1485
01:31:34,677 --> 01:31:37,429
You look good, you got some color.
I'm jealous.

1486
01:31:37,597 --> 01:31:40,056
- I'm getting married today.
- Yes, you are.

1487
01:31:40,224 --> 01:31:42,767
That's why you need to focus
and do everything we say.

1488
01:31:42,935 --> 01:31:46,271
Because, frankly,
you're wasting a little bit of time right now.

1489
01:31:46,439 --> 01:31:47,731
You fucking asshole!

1490
01:31:50,985 --> 01:31:52,694
Oh, my skin burns. My skin burns.

1491
01:31:52,862 --> 01:31:54,571
Oh, ow! God.

1492
01:31:54,739 --> 01:31:57,991
- It's okay. It's not your fault, Doug.
- Don't touch me. Shut up.

1493
01:31:58,159 --> 01:31:59,576
All of you, shut up.

1494
01:32:00,536 --> 01:32:02,078
Just get me home.

1495
01:32:02,246 --> 01:32:03,371
Mm-hm.

1496
01:32:03,539 --> 01:32:05,332
Just get me home.

1497
01:32:06,042 --> 01:32:08,418
What about the one after that?

1498
01:32:08,628 --> 01:32:11,713
You cannot be serious.

1499
01:32:12,423 --> 01:32:13,965
Oh, goddamn it.

1500
01:32:14,133 --> 01:32:15,926
- What?
- Every flight to I.A. Is booked.

1501
01:32:16,093 --> 01:32:17,469
- What about Burbank?
- Sold out.

1502
01:32:17,637 --> 01:32:21,056
Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the
wedding starts in three and a half hours.

1503
01:32:21,224 --> 01:32:23,433
- Alan, where's the car?
- It's on its way.

1504
01:32:23,601 --> 01:32:24,935
You know what?

1505
01:32:25,102 --> 01:32:28,396
We can drive there.
We can make it. Okay?

1506
01:32:30,024 --> 01:32:31,107
Hi.

1507
01:32:32,068 --> 01:32:35,904
- Just give me one second.
- We will leave without you.

1508
01:32:38,449 --> 01:32:40,575
- Is he missing a tooth?
- Yeah.

1509
01:32:42,620 --> 01:32:44,538
- Hey.
- Hey.

1510
01:32:44,705 --> 01:32:47,457
Hey, thanks for helping out last night.
That was so awesome.

1511
01:32:47,625 --> 01:32:49,209
Sure.

1512
01:32:50,044 --> 01:32:52,504
Listen, Jade, l...

1513
01:32:52,672 --> 01:32:55,507
Look, you don't have to say it.
I totally understand.

1514
01:32:55,675 --> 01:32:58,802
- This whole thing was stupid.
- Huh.

1515
01:33:00,137 --> 01:33:01,763
It was stupid, wasn't it?

1516
01:33:08,896 --> 01:33:10,814
- This is yours.
- Oh, thank you.

1517
01:33:11,983 --> 01:33:15,986
I can't believe I gave my grandmother's
Holocaust ring to someone I just met.

1518
01:33:16,153 --> 01:33:18,822
- What was I thinking?
- You were really fucked up.

1519
01:33:18,990 --> 01:33:20,699
Clearly.

1520
01:33:21,701 --> 01:33:24,369
- You did pull out your own tooth.
- I...?

1521
01:33:25,079 --> 01:33:26,162
I pulled out my tooth?

1522
01:33:27,456 --> 01:33:29,791
Why did I pull out my own tooth?

1523
01:33:29,959 --> 01:33:32,419
Alan bet you
that you weren't a good enough dentist...

1524
01:33:32,587 --> 01:33:34,004
to pull out your own tooth.

1525
01:33:34,880 --> 01:33:37,799
Okay. Heh.

1526
01:33:38,175 --> 01:33:41,344
- Of course he did.
- You won.

1527
01:33:41,512 --> 01:33:44,931
Yeah. Clearly. Yeah.

1528
01:33:45,099 --> 01:33:47,017
That's victory, right there.

1529
01:33:47,184 --> 01:33:48,893
It needs to go down.

1530
01:33:49,061 --> 01:33:50,812
- It's good. Get in.
- No. Safety first.

1531
01:33:50,980 --> 01:33:54,482
- Alan, it's fine. It's down.
- No, I gotta get it down first.

1532
01:33:54,650 --> 01:33:58,778
- Jesus Christ. Look out.
- Don't mess the car up.

1533
01:33:58,946 --> 01:34:00,864
You're gonna mess the car up.

1534
01:34:01,032 --> 01:34:04,618
- Hey, what are you doing next weekend?
- I don't know. Working. Why?

1535
01:34:04,785 --> 01:34:07,829
I was thinking maybe I'd come back
and take you out to dinner.

1536
01:34:07,997 --> 01:34:10,540
Really? Like a date?

1537
01:34:10,708 --> 01:34:15,462
Yeah. Like a date.
Only, one that hopefully I'll remember.

1538
01:34:15,963 --> 01:34:17,714
Sounds good.

1539
01:34:21,177 --> 01:34:24,054
- Stu. Come on.
- Stu. Come on.

1540
01:34:25,640 --> 01:34:29,517
I gotta go. Okay. Bye.

1541
01:34:32,229 --> 01:34:34,230
- Bye.
- Bye.

1542
01:34:36,359 --> 01:34:38,151
All right, here we go.

1543
01:34:38,653 --> 01:34:41,571
- All right, let's go.
- Yeah.

1544
01:34:41,739 --> 01:34:42,739
Careful.

1545
01:34:59,882 --> 01:35:02,550
At least the trip
wasn't a total disaster.

1546
01:35:02,718 --> 01:35:05,887
- What makes you say that?
- When I woke up on the roof...

1547
01:35:06,055 --> 01:35:09,933
I happened to find $80,000
worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket.

1548
01:35:10,101 --> 01:35:11,851
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

1549
01:35:12,311 --> 01:35:15,814
Looks like we're going home
with some money, boys.

1550
01:35:33,290 --> 01:35:35,125
Here he comes. That's him.

1551
01:35:37,336 --> 01:35:40,296
- Hey, Neeco!
- Hey. What's up, Alan?

1552
01:35:40,464 --> 01:35:42,132
Whoo!

1553
01:35:43,592 --> 01:35:45,260
- Whoa, look out.
- Oh, shit.

1554
01:35:45,428 --> 01:35:47,429
Whoa! Whoa!

1555
01:35:50,808 --> 01:35:52,100
- Thanks, Neeco.
- You got it, man.

1556
01:35:52,268 --> 01:35:53,685
- Page me!
- Adiós.

1557
01:35:54,103 --> 01:35:56,312
- Who the hell was that guy?
- That's my buddy.

1558
01:36:32,516 --> 01:36:37,353
Hey. Sorry, MapQuest took us
on a really crazy route.

1559
01:36:59,794 --> 01:37:01,544
- How's my hair?
- It looks good.

1560
01:37:01,712 --> 01:37:05,882
- Is it cool like Phil's?
- It's classic Phil.

1561
01:37:10,513 --> 01:37:12,555
She looks beautiful, man.

1562
01:37:18,979 --> 01:37:20,188
Sorry I'm late.

1563
01:37:21,732 --> 01:37:23,274
Vegas.

1564
01:37:28,030 --> 01:37:31,950
Where were you?
And why are you so red?

1565
01:37:32,409 --> 01:37:36,287
Honey, it's a long story.

1566
01:37:37,206 --> 01:37:39,165
We are gathered here today...

1567
01:37:39,333 --> 01:37:42,919
because of the strength of love
and of promises kept.

1568
01:37:43,087 --> 01:37:46,297
All I know is I am so sorry.

1569
01:37:46,632 --> 01:37:49,008
And I promise
for as long as we're married...

1570
01:37:49,176 --> 01:37:53,471
to never, ever put you
through anything like this again.

1571
01:37:54,598 --> 01:37:56,474
Can you forgive me?

1572
01:38:42,313 --> 01:38:44,314
- Daddy.
- Hey, my man.

1573
01:38:44,481 --> 01:38:46,858
Excuse me,
but I'm expecting my husband any minute.

1574
01:38:47,026 --> 01:38:48,902
Oh, that's very funny. Come here.

1575
01:38:50,279 --> 01:38:51,362
How was your soccer game?

1576
01:39:08,339 --> 01:39:12,467
- Stu? You avoiding me?
- Hey. Melissa.

1577
01:39:12,635 --> 01:39:15,345
Oh, my God.
What happened to your tooth?

1578
01:39:16,180 --> 01:39:19,682
Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother.
Brother of the...

1579
01:39:19,850 --> 01:39:21,434
Okay. Ow.

1580
01:39:21,602 --> 01:39:24,520
That is disgusting.
Why haven't you returned my calls?

1581
01:39:25,105 --> 01:39:27,023
Well, there was a snafu
when we stopped...

1582
01:39:27,191 --> 01:39:29,067
I called that bed and breakfast in Napa.

1583
01:39:29,234 --> 01:39:32,403
They said they had no record
of you even checking in.

1584
01:39:33,113 --> 01:39:34,822
That's because we didn't go to Napa.

1585
01:39:34,990 --> 01:39:38,993
- Stu. What the fuck is going on?
- We went to Las Vegas.

1586
01:39:39,161 --> 01:39:42,288
Oh, really? Las Vegas?
Why would you go to Las Vegas?

1587
01:39:42,456 --> 01:39:44,999
My friend was getting married.
That's what guys do.

1588
01:39:45,167 --> 01:39:46,918
- Okay, that's not what you do.
- Really?

1589
01:39:47,086 --> 01:39:51,547
Well, then why did I do it, huh?
Because I did it. Riddle me that.

1590
01:39:51,715 --> 01:39:53,216
Why'd I do it?

1591
01:39:53,384 --> 01:39:55,593
All you want me to do
is what you want me to do.

1592
01:39:55,761 --> 01:39:57,637
I'm sick of doing what you want.

1593
01:39:57,805 --> 01:40:01,349
In a healthy relationship,
a guy should be able to do what he wants.

1594
01:40:01,517 --> 01:40:04,560
- That is not how this works!
- Oh, good.

1595
01:40:04,728 --> 01:40:07,730
Because whatever this is
ain't working for me!

1596
01:40:07,898 --> 01:40:08,940
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

1597
01:40:09,108 --> 01:40:10,233
Since when?

1598
01:40:10,401 --> 01:40:14,946
Since you fucked that waiter
on your cruise last June. Boom!

1599
01:40:17,866 --> 01:40:21,577
- You told me it was a bartender.
- Oh, you're right. I stand corrected.

1600
01:40:21,745 --> 01:40:24,914
It was a bartender.
You fucked a bartender.

1601
01:40:25,082 --> 01:40:26,499
You're an idiot.

1602
01:40:26,667 --> 01:40:27,709
You're... You...

1603
01:40:29,753 --> 01:40:31,254
You're such a bad person.

1604
01:40:31,422 --> 01:40:33,423
Like, all the way through to your core.

1605
01:40:35,759 --> 01:40:38,636
Alan, shall we dance?

1606
01:40:39,763 --> 01:40:40,805
Let's do this.

1607
01:40:49,606 --> 01:40:52,275
- It was a real pleasure meeting you.
- Fuck off.

1608
01:40:52,901 --> 01:40:56,029
- I'm getting my bartender's license.
- Suck my dick.

1609
01:40:56,780 --> 01:40:58,156
No, thank you.

1610
01:41:08,292 --> 01:41:09,292
You guys are awe...

1611
01:41:10,669 --> 01:41:12,628
- Sid?
- There he is.

1612
01:41:12,963 --> 01:41:16,799
- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.

1613
01:41:16,967 --> 01:41:19,302
- Congratulations, buddy.
- Congratulations to you.

1614
01:41:19,470 --> 01:41:22,346
- You had us worried there for a second.
- Sorry.

1615
01:41:22,514 --> 01:41:23,639
How was Vegas?

1616
01:41:23,932 --> 01:41:26,809
It was... Ahem. It was crazy.

1617
01:41:26,977 --> 01:41:28,561
Attaboy.

1618
01:41:32,316 --> 01:41:34,859
- Enjoy the car?
- Mm-hm.

1619
01:41:35,903 --> 01:41:39,822
- Remember to put Armor All on the tires?
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

1620
01:41:43,077 --> 01:41:44,786
Let me ask you a question.

1621
01:41:49,083 --> 01:41:52,293
How can a cake cost $1400?

1622
01:41:54,505 --> 01:41:57,548
- Highway robbery.
- It's criminal.

1623
01:41:58,008 --> 01:42:00,968
Sid, ahem, about the car...

1624
01:42:07,643 --> 01:42:11,813
Tracy told you. I told her not to tell you.
I wanted to tell you.

1625
01:42:14,274 --> 01:42:17,693
- Tell me what?
- Careful, Doug. These women...

1626
01:42:18,529 --> 01:42:19,695
can't be trusted.

1627
01:42:21,240 --> 01:42:24,158
- Tell me what, Sid?
- The Mercedes.

1628
01:42:24,326 --> 01:42:26,702
It is a wedding gift from Linda and I.

1629
01:42:28,413 --> 01:42:30,706
- Are you serious?
- What do you think?

1630
01:42:40,884 --> 01:42:42,385
That is awesome.

1631
01:42:44,096 --> 01:42:45,847
Thank you. Oh.

1632
01:42:48,058 --> 01:42:50,768
Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sid.

1633
01:42:50,936 --> 01:42:53,312
Close the door.
- You're awesome.

1634
01:42:53,480 --> 01:42:55,356
You are awesome.

1635
01:42:57,067 --> 01:42:58,484
Yeah.

1636
01:43:06,577 --> 01:43:07,869
Dougie...

1637
01:43:08,036 --> 01:43:10,496
I gotta tell you, man,
this was a gorgeous wedding.

1638
01:43:10,664 --> 01:43:13,583
- I give it six months.
- You're a dick.

1639
01:43:14,585 --> 01:43:18,963
I don't know what to say.
Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?

1640
01:43:19,756 --> 01:43:24,093
Yeah. I just wish
we could actually remember some of it.

1641
01:43:24,261 --> 01:43:27,638
- Hey, guys? Look what I found.
- Whoa, that's my camera.

1642
01:43:27,806 --> 01:43:30,933
- It was in the back seat of the car.
- Oh, Go... Are there photos on it?

1643
01:43:31,101 --> 01:43:33,436
Yeah. Some of it's even worse
than we thought.

1644
01:43:33,604 --> 01:43:35,646
- No fucking way. Give me that.
- Wa... Wa... Wait.

1645
01:43:35,814 --> 01:43:38,316
Wait, wait, wait.

1646
01:43:40,777 --> 01:43:45,323
We look at these pictures together, okay?
One time.

1647
01:43:45,782 --> 01:43:49,952
- And then we delete the evidence.
- I say we delete it right now.

1648
01:43:50,120 --> 01:43:53,789
Are you nuts? I wanna find out
how I wound up in the hospital.

1649
01:43:53,957 --> 01:43:57,960
- Yeah, it's in there.
- Guys, one time.

1650
01:43:58,128 --> 01:43:59,170
- Deal?
- Deal.

1651
01:43:59,338 --> 01:44:01,005
- Deal.
- Okay.

1652
01:44:05,469 --> 01:44:07,011
Oh, dear Lord!

1653
01:44:07,179 --> 01:44:08,387
That's classic!