1 00:01:03,376 --> 00:01:05,754 You've reached Dr Stuart Price. 2 00:01:05,921 --> 00:01:10,222 The office will be closed until the 24th. If this is an emergency, please try... 3 00:01:14,554 --> 00:01:16,397 Hi. This is Dr. Stu Price. 4 00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:19,810 I'm getting married, so I'll be out of the country for two weeks. 5 00:01:19,976 --> 00:01:24,573 I'm not sure if I'll have cell service. If this is a dental emergency, plea... 6 00:01:24,898 --> 00:01:26,024 Nothing. 7 00:01:32,322 --> 00:01:34,245 Daddy, please. You're not helping. 8 00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:38,754 - I looked into his eyes. - Not the eyes of a man. 9 00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:41,256 The eyes of a coward. 10 00:01:45,168 --> 00:01:47,011 Excuse me. 11 00:01:51,424 --> 00:01:53,017 Tracy. 12 00:01:53,885 --> 00:01:54,932 I'm sorry. 13 00:01:55,095 --> 00:01:57,063 Where the hell are you? 14 00:01:59,516 --> 00:02:00,938 It happened again. 15 00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:03,274 Don't say that. 16 00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:04,437 Please. 17 00:02:04,604 --> 00:02:06,698 No, this time we really fucked up. 18 00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,406 Seriously, what is wrong with you three? 19 00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:12,825 So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin. 20 00:02:12,988 --> 00:02:14,956 Oh, God. How bad? 21 00:02:15,824 --> 00:02:17,622 Like no wedding bad? 22 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,127 Yeah. 23 00:02:20,954 --> 00:02:23,082 Little worse than that. 24 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,358 Mm-hm. 25 00:04:11,064 --> 00:04:12,816 You really need to floss more. 26 00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:15,111 Fuck that. That's why I come here. 27 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,699 Then you should come more than once every two years. 28 00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:22,208 - So you could bleed me of all my money? - I never charge you a dime, Phil. 29 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:25,416 - Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Uh, you don't, actually. 30 00:04:25,578 --> 00:04:27,580 Come on. Just one hit. 31 00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:31,547 Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems? 32 00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:35,764 Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand. 33 00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:39,893 For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there. 34 00:04:40,051 --> 00:04:41,519 My mother-in-law's watching the kids. 35 00:04:41,678 --> 00:04:43,931 Now she's got this whole new thing to hold over my head. 36 00:04:44,097 --> 00:04:46,099 Plus it takes five days to get there. 37 00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:49,770 It's a 16-hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there. 38 00:04:49,936 --> 00:04:52,064 - Whatever. It's a hassle. - It is kind of far. 39 00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:54,942 Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet-lagged. 40 00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:57,281 It's where her parents are from. It means a lot. 41 00:04:57,444 --> 00:05:00,539 Who gives a shit about her parents? Her dad hates you. 42 00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:03,120 He doesn't hate me. 43 00:05:03,283 --> 00:05:05,957 He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing. 44 00:05:06,119 --> 00:05:09,168 Why can't you get married in Vegas like last time? So much easier. 45 00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:12,459 Why can't you just be excited for me? 46 00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:14,798 This is my wedding. 47 00:05:19,507 --> 00:05:20,804 You're really happy, huh? 48 00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:23,311 I really am. 49 00:05:26,639 --> 00:05:29,483 All right. I'm happy too. 50 00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:32,770 Thank you. 51 00:05:32,937 --> 00:05:34,154 It's gonna be fun. 52 00:05:36,483 --> 00:05:39,157 Phil? Put the prescription pad back. 53 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,803 Thank you. You know that's a felony, right? 54 00:05:56,961 --> 00:05:58,508 Fuck you, man. 55 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,850 - Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep. 56 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:07,181 - Oh, my God. I just realized. - What? 57 00:06:07,347 --> 00:06:09,099 I forgot to renew my passport. 58 00:06:09,265 --> 00:06:10,517 Oh, no. 59 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:13,937 Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer. 60 00:06:14,729 --> 00:06:15,821 You're the best. 61 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,698 Hey, we're a team. 62 00:06:17,857 --> 00:06:22,704 No, I mean, you are a good guy. Like, a really good guy. 63 00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:24,955 Thank you. 64 00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:26,958 So I know you're not gonna get mad. 65 00:06:27,492 --> 00:06:29,494 Mad? What...? Mad at what? 66 00:06:30,078 --> 00:06:32,957 Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding. 67 00:06:33,123 --> 00:06:34,170 So? 68 00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:37,211 So he's heartbroken, Doug. You guys are like his family. 69 00:06:37,377 --> 00:06:39,379 No, your family is like his family. 70 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:44,309 All Alan talks about is the three of you. And that weekend. 71 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:47,061 Wait. Is he the one that keeps calling and hanging up? 72 00:06:47,554 --> 00:06:51,900 He does that when he's upset. He doesn't understand why he's not invited. 73 00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:54,064 Could you just run it by Stu? 74 00:06:54,602 --> 00:06:56,696 Just run it by him. 75 00:06:57,188 --> 00:06:58,440 For me? 76 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,239 No fucking way. 77 00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:03,745 Absolutely not. 78 00:07:03,903 --> 00:07:06,372 Come on, Stu. It's killing him. 79 00:07:06,531 --> 00:07:07,908 I don't care. 80 00:07:08,074 --> 00:07:10,168 Honestly, the two of you were barely invited. 81 00:07:10,326 --> 00:07:12,078 - Oh. - All right. I get it. I really do. 82 00:07:12,245 --> 00:07:15,590 Just, you know what? Alan considers you to be one of his best friends. 83 00:07:15,748 --> 00:07:17,295 I consider Alan to be insane. 84 00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:18,584 Stu, throw him a bone. 85 00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:21,049 His dad pays for everything he eats and breaks. 86 00:07:21,212 --> 00:07:23,931 We should squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party. 87 00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:25,137 That's good. 88 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:30,352 I'm glad you brought that up, because this is the bachelor party. 89 00:07:30,513 --> 00:07:32,186 - What? - What are you talking about? 90 00:07:32,348 --> 00:07:34,271 Yeah. It's my bachelor brunch. 91 00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:39,736 Go crazy. Get some chocolate-chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress. 92 00:07:40,356 --> 00:07:44,406 That's bullshit. Ha, ha. You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu. 93 00:07:44,569 --> 00:07:48,164 You see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top. 94 00:07:48,323 --> 00:07:51,042 Do you know why? So nobody roofies me. 95 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:54,000 Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party. 96 00:07:54,162 --> 00:07:56,256 Come on. Don't you think you're overreacting? 97 00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:58,508 No, I don't. 98 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:02,630 I'm still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back together. 99 00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:06,257 And you know what the glue is? 100 00:08:06,424 --> 00:08:09,724 Lauren. And I'm not doing anything to screw that up. 101 00:08:09,886 --> 00:08:13,015 - You wouldn't be with her if it wasn't for us. - Oh, this'll be good. 102 00:08:13,181 --> 00:08:15,650 Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa. 103 00:08:15,808 --> 00:08:17,902 Two years later, you met your true soul mate. 104 00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:21,816 You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt. 105 00:08:23,149 --> 00:08:25,322 It's okay. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party. 106 00:08:25,485 --> 00:08:26,953 Drink up, everybody. 107 00:08:27,111 --> 00:08:29,910 Wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fucking IHOP. 108 00:08:30,073 --> 00:08:33,168 Well, it's my decision and it's final, so how about a toast? 109 00:08:33,326 --> 00:08:37,172 - This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car. - Come on, Phil. Where you going? 110 00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:39,799 I just don't get it. He's getting married in Thailand. 111 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:42,837 That's great for him, but what about us? You're just selfish. 112 00:08:43,378 --> 00:08:44,971 Come on, sweetheart. 113 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:47,348 Shame on you. 114 00:08:50,802 --> 00:08:53,476 Don't worry, Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what. 115 00:08:53,638 --> 00:08:54,935 Thank you. 116 00:08:55,098 --> 00:08:58,022 But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing. 117 00:09:00,353 --> 00:09:02,606 Guys, I can't tell you how much this means. 118 00:09:02,772 --> 00:09:06,276 Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the wedding. 119 00:09:06,442 --> 00:09:07,489 I'm sure he has. 120 00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:10,872 Yeah, he's been standing outside by the mailbox every day. 121 00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,704 - Wow, that's rough. - Yeah. I, uh ... 122 00:09:13,866 --> 00:09:18,372 I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas, you know? He really needs this. 123 00:09:20,873 --> 00:09:22,045 What? 124 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:25,587 Sweetie, it's Pa Pa. You have visitors. 125 00:09:25,753 --> 00:09:29,553 Go in slowly, give him a chance to acclimate. 126 00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:33,561 Hey, Alan. 127 00:09:34,721 --> 00:09:36,018 Hey, guys. 128 00:09:36,514 --> 00:09:38,687 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, bud. 129 00:09:40,643 --> 00:09:42,566 Uh... Uh, you guys wanna come in? 130 00:09:42,729 --> 00:09:44,948 - Sure. - Yeah, absolutely. 131 00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:47,237 - Hey. - Hey. 132 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,526 Hey. 133 00:09:49,402 --> 00:09:52,030 - Hey, Stu. - Okay. See you on the court in half... 134 00:09:54,907 --> 00:09:56,159 Pretty cool room, Alan. 135 00:09:56,326 --> 00:09:58,875 Oh, thanks, Phil. My dad pays my rent. 136 00:09:59,037 --> 00:10:00,755 Alan, what the fuck? 137 00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:04,417 We were supposed to delete these. You made a promise. 138 00:10:04,584 --> 00:10:07,463 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell? 139 00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:10,507 I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these. 140 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,559 - Ha, ha. - Chillax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here. 141 00:10:13,718 --> 00:10:15,311 Total violation of trust. 142 00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,598 Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here. 143 00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:21,192 Sorry, honey. I 'll be right up. 144 00:10:21,351 --> 00:10:23,274 - Can't believe you stopped by. - This is cool. 145 00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:25,188 Wait a second. AI, is that Mr. Chow? 146 00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:27,403 Yeah. We still keep in touch. 147 00:10:27,899 --> 00:10:29,196 Stu. 148 00:10:29,359 --> 00:10:31,612 - The guy that kidnapped us? - He didn't kidnap us. 149 00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:33,530 He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember? 150 00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:36,290 It was a whole big misunderstanding. He's actually quite charming. 151 00:10:37,784 --> 00:10:40,287 - Alan, he's a criminal. - Excuse me, boys. 152 00:10:40,453 --> 00:10:42,171 Hi, Dougie. 153 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:45,209 I guess we don't do dessert any more. I didn't get that memo. 154 00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:47,594 Well, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back. 155 00:10:48,211 --> 00:10:49,963 Would a cupcake kill you? 156 00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:54,226 - I don't think this was a good idea. - Uh, Alan, we have a little surprise for you. 157 00:10:54,926 --> 00:10:58,021 Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. 158 00:10:58,388 --> 00:10:59,890 Well, only if you're not busy. 159 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:01,857 Stu. 160 00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:04,144 Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town. 161 00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:06,563 No. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend. 162 00:11:07,355 --> 00:11:08,902 Mm. 163 00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:12,945 Are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me? 164 00:11:16,656 --> 00:11:19,455 Yeah, why not? Could be fun, right? 165 00:11:21,911 --> 00:11:24,334 - Phil, are you going? - Of course. 166 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,508 Then it will be fun. 167 00:11:33,506 --> 00:11:36,851 - Ah! - Whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man? 168 00:11:38,052 --> 00:11:40,771 It's my immunizations. This is the last day I can do it. 169 00:11:41,764 --> 00:11:44,187 That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse. 170 00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,853 I am a nurse. I'm just not registered. 171 00:11:47,145 --> 00:11:48,988 Oh, Stu, look at this. 172 00:11:49,147 --> 00:11:50,990 I bought this because I thought of you. 173 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:30,063 - Hey, there he is. - Hey, Stu. 174 00:12:30,229 --> 00:12:33,733 - Teddy. What's up? How are you? - Good to see you, man. 175 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,868 - All right. - Who's this guy, Stu? 176 00:12:36,027 --> 00:12:37,950 This is Teddy, Lauren's little brother. 177 00:12:38,112 --> 00:12:40,865 Goes to Stanford. Premed. This is Phil, Alan and Doug. 178 00:12:41,032 --> 00:12:44,662 - Hey, nice to meet you, man. - Wow, Stanford? How old are you? 179 00:12:44,994 --> 00:12:47,497 - I'm... - Uh, he's 17. Kind of a genius. 180 00:12:47,663 --> 00:12:49,131 Actually, I'm 16. 181 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:52,669 And I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early. 182 00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:54,508 Because you're a genius. 183 00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:58,432 - So, what are you, a doctor? - No. Not yet. I'm premed. 184 00:12:58,591 --> 00:13:01,219 Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? 185 00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:04,639 - Yeah. - Well, he turned out to be a gay. 186 00:13:04,805 --> 00:13:07,524 - Alan. - It's true. I read it in Teen People. 187 00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:10,812 Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane. 188 00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:12,070 You guys want anything? 189 00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:13,277 I'm good. 190 00:13:13,439 --> 00:13:15,112 I would actually love a Smartwater. 191 00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:16,488 Cool. 192 00:13:17,401 --> 00:13:18,744 Thanks. 193 00:13:18,945 --> 00:13:21,949 - Whats the matter with you? He's 16. - Yeah, Alan. Take it easy. 194 00:13:22,114 --> 00:13:24,958 I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what? 195 00:13:25,117 --> 00:13:27,290 - How does this work? - How does what work? 196 00:13:27,453 --> 00:13:29,421 Is that person coming to the wedding? 197 00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:34,135 Yes, Alan. My bride's little brother is coming to the wedding. 198 00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:35,545 Is that okay with you? 199 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:39,386 Well, it's just the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me. 200 00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:45,889 Don't overreact. It's gonna be fine. 201 00:13:48,432 --> 00:13:50,560 Hey. Mind if I sit? 202 00:13:50,726 --> 00:13:54,902 - Wolf pack only. Find another chair. - There's no wolf pack, Alan. 203 00:13:55,064 --> 00:13:57,283 - Come on. - It's no problem. I can find... 204 00:13:57,441 --> 00:14:01,116 - Don't be ridiculous. You're sitting here. - Careful. That's a Louis... 205 00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:03,156 That is a Louis Vuitton. 206 00:14:05,491 --> 00:14:06,708 Thanks. 207 00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,300 That's a nice neck roll. 208 00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:18,634 Thanks. You can use it if you want. 209 00:14:19,255 --> 00:14:20,507 Okay. 210 00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:33,914 LAUREN; Baby! Hi! On, my God! 211 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,673 Ah. 212 00:15:36,499 --> 00:15:39,594 - How was your trip? - It was long, but good. 213 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:50,184 - This is so absolutely beautiful. - Thank you so much. 214 00:15:50,346 --> 00:15:51,438 Of course. 215 00:15:51,597 --> 00:15:53,850 Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. 216 00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,394 Pretty soon you'll have two doctors in the family. Ha, ha. 217 00:15:56,769 --> 00:16:00,899 You have to realize that in my country, we don't consider dentist to be real doctors. 218 00:16:01,065 --> 00:16:02,317 Dad. 219 00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:03,905 Okay. 220 00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:07,823 Anyway, I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight. 221 00:16:07,988 --> 00:16:09,285 See you. 222 00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:12,952 - Ouch. - I'm so sorry. 223 00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:15,500 Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother. 224 00:16:15,663 --> 00:16:17,586 Teddy is my dad's prized possession. 225 00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:19,716 It's always been that way. 226 00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:23,012 He'll warm up. I promise. Okay? 227 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,049 If you just fax it over to me, I'll pick it up from concierge. 228 00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:28,638 Okay. Ha, ha. Thanks, Pa Pa. 229 00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:29,802 Bye-bye. 230 00:16:29,969 --> 00:16:32,893 That was, uh, my dad. I'm a stay-at-home son. 231 00:16:33,055 --> 00:16:36,104 We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense. 232 00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:39,396 Oh, that's so unnecessary. 233 00:16:39,562 --> 00:16:42,281 I've been, uh, meaning to ask. I noticed it's a fishing village. 234 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,442 Is there a Long John Silver's on the island? 235 00:16:44,608 --> 00:16:47,452 You know, no, I don't think so. I'm so sorry. 236 00:16:47,611 --> 00:16:50,990 But we are actually sewing some great fresh seafood. 237 00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:53,910 - Better than Long John's'? - Yes. 238 00:16:54,201 --> 00:16:56,329 I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. 239 00:16:56,495 --> 00:16:59,339 You too. Okay. 240 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,704 All right. 241 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:44,922 Thank you, Teddy. 242 00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:48,347 The hands of a brilliant musician... 243 00:17:48,506 --> 00:17:50,725 and one day, a great surgeon. 244 00:17:53,177 --> 00:17:54,520 I admit it. 245 00:17:55,679 --> 00:17:58,398 When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold. 246 00:18:00,851 --> 00:18:03,320 He seemed unattractive. 247 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:06,403 He lacked intelligence and imagination. 248 00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:10,657 He was missing that spark you look for in a man. 249 00:18:13,072 --> 00:18:16,042 But then I look into Stu's eyes. 250 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,579 He reminded me of my sweet brother, Chaiyo. 251 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,252 For those who do not know... 252 00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:25,418 Chaiyo is learning-disabled and lives in a group home. 253 00:18:29,088 --> 00:18:32,433 But Chaiyo loves chok. 254 00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:34,264 And that's when I realized... 255 00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,598 Stu is chok. 256 00:18:39,306 --> 00:18:40,603 What's chok? 257 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,104 Chok is soft white rice in lukewarm water. 258 00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:47,524 It has no taste. 259 00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:52,036 We feed it to small baby and very old people. 260 00:18:52,987 --> 00:18:55,957 It is nourishment that everyone can digest. 261 00:18:56,323 --> 00:18:58,451 The world needs chok. 262 00:18:58,617 --> 00:19:01,712 Just as the world needs people like Stu. 263 00:19:04,957 --> 00:19:08,052 To my sweet daughter and Stu. Congratulations. 264 00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:11,589 - Hear, hear. - Cheers, guys. 265 00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:16,969 And now I believe that Teddy has something to say. 266 00:19:19,138 --> 00:19:21,357 Sit down. I got this. 267 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,983 Sit down, boy. 268 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:26,438 That was, uh, a great speech, sir. 269 00:19:27,146 --> 00:19:31,993 I like the comparisons between, uh, Stu and rice. 270 00:19:33,944 --> 00:19:36,914 I've also prepared a few words. 271 00:19:37,656 --> 00:19:40,000 "Hey, everybody, here are some fun facts." 272 00:19:41,118 --> 00:19:43,917 The population in Thailand is 63 million people. 273 00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:46,252 It is twice the size of Wyoming. 274 00:19:46,874 --> 00:19:50,674 Its chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. 275 00:19:50,836 --> 00:19:56,093 Each year, approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. 276 00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:58,101 The climate in Thailand is..." Alan, uh... 277 00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:01,810 Alan, why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy? 278 00:20:02,014 --> 00:20:03,766 Okay. Sorry. 279 00:20:07,061 --> 00:20:09,689 "None of you know Stu like I do." 280 00:20:09,855 --> 00:20:12,779 Not you. Not you. 281 00:20:13,484 --> 00:20:15,657 Not you. Not you. 282 00:20:15,819 --> 00:20:18,117 Not nobody knows Stu like I do. 283 00:20:20,658 --> 00:20:22,001 No one. 284 00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:25,333 "I can't even tell you what we've been through..." 285 00:20:25,496 --> 00:20:28,375 because we made a pact more important than blood. 286 00:20:29,541 --> 00:20:31,293 What I can tell you is this: 287 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,508 This is not Stu's first marriage. 288 00:20:34,797 --> 00:20:37,016 "There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..." 289 00:20:37,174 --> 00:20:40,053 - All right, time's up. - You can sit down, bud. You can sit down. 290 00:20:40,803 --> 00:20:43,773 - It was good. I did good, though. - Oh, God, you killed it. 291 00:20:43,931 --> 00:20:46,684 - Okay. Thanks, Phil. - Sit down. Yeah. 292 00:20:55,317 --> 00:20:56,819 In your face. 293 00:21:00,531 --> 00:21:03,330 Well, that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be. 294 00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:05,369 Ha, ha. Sorry. 295 00:21:06,912 --> 00:21:08,755 Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? 296 00:21:08,914 --> 00:21:12,669 - Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Phil. - Be nice, Phil. He's extra sensitive tonight. 297 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,931 Get over it. He's your father-in-law. He's supposed to hate you. 298 00:21:17,089 --> 00:21:19,262 Come have a drink with me and the guys. 299 00:21:19,425 --> 00:21:23,726 You know, I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash. 300 00:21:23,887 --> 00:21:26,640 I spoke with the manager. He'll let us have a beach bonfire. 301 00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:28,559 That sounds fun. 302 00:21:28,726 --> 00:21:31,730 Nah. I'm good. 303 00:21:31,895 --> 00:21:32,942 He's tired. 304 00:21:33,105 --> 00:21:35,984 Stu. One drink with your friends. They came all this way. 305 00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:39,871 - I just wanna hang out with you. - Oh, come on, just go and do me a favor: 306 00:21:40,029 --> 00:21:42,248 Take Teddy with you. 307 00:21:42,406 --> 00:21:43,908 He never gets to have any fun. 308 00:21:44,074 --> 00:21:46,122 That is a great idea. Bring the kid. 309 00:21:46,910 --> 00:21:48,787 - All right. One drink. - Perfect. 310 00:21:48,954 --> 00:21:49,955 - See? - You win. 311 00:21:50,122 --> 00:21:51,624 - See you later. - Have fun. 312 00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:54,589 - Got your key? - Uh, yep. Got it right there. 313 00:21:54,752 --> 00:21:57,631 - I'll see you in 20 minutes. - I love you. 314 00:22:00,007 --> 00:22:03,602 My Uncle Roger said that he once saw a albino polar bear. 315 00:22:03,761 --> 00:22:05,638 Really? Polar bears are white. 316 00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:07,647 How would he know if it's an albino? 317 00:22:09,975 --> 00:22:11,272 This one was black. 318 00:22:14,313 --> 00:22:16,736 Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear? 319 00:22:20,986 --> 00:22:21,987 Whatevs. 320 00:22:22,613 --> 00:22:24,832 - Okay. Here we go. - All right. 321 00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:27,038 - American beer. - Let's do it. 322 00:22:27,201 --> 00:22:28,669 Sealed bottles. 323 00:22:28,827 --> 00:22:30,329 Thank you. All right. 324 00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:33,340 Um, I'm not really old enough to drink. 325 00:22:33,499 --> 00:22:36,252 Yeah, it's illegal. Be a shame if somebody reported you. 326 00:22:37,211 --> 00:22:39,134 Nobody's reporting anybody. 327 00:22:39,296 --> 00:22:41,344 It's fine, Teddy. Have a little fun. 328 00:22:41,507 --> 00:22:43,430 Careful. What? Oh. 329 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:47,013 What is this? Roasting marshmallows? Nice touch. 330 00:22:47,179 --> 00:22:50,683 - That was Alan's idea. - Oh. Good thinking, Alan. 331 00:22:51,558 --> 00:22:55,938 You know, I gotta hand it to you, Stu. This place is paradise. 332 00:22:56,105 --> 00:22:57,402 Not bad, right? 333 00:22:57,564 --> 00:23:01,660 And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. 334 00:23:01,819 --> 00:23:03,867 I mean, Lauren is an angel. 335 00:23:04,029 --> 00:23:06,031 Yeah, she really is amazing. 336 00:23:06,198 --> 00:23:07,450 Wow, you guys are sweet. 337 00:23:07,616 --> 00:23:12,588 Not big breasts on her, but still, solid rack for an Asian. 338 00:23:12,746 --> 00:23:14,214 Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. 339 00:23:14,706 --> 00:23:15,753 That's okay. 340 00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:21,298 That is just wildly inappropriate. And yet I'm really glad you're here. 341 00:23:21,463 --> 00:23:22,965 All you guys. 342 00:23:23,382 --> 00:23:24,383 Even you, Alan. 343 00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:28,225 It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you. 344 00:23:28,387 --> 00:23:29,730 Wouldn't miss it, buddy. 345 00:23:30,347 --> 00:23:33,726 Great. Now can we have our one fucking beer, Dad? 346 00:23:33,892 --> 00:23:35,018 Mm-hm. 347 00:23:35,853 --> 00:23:37,196 All right. Toast. 348 00:23:37,354 --> 00:23:39,402 Come on, stand up, guys. 349 00:23:40,023 --> 00:23:41,900 Come over here, Alan. 350 00:23:43,402 --> 00:23:46,201 To Lauren and Stu. 351 00:23:46,488 --> 00:23:48,456 - You did it, buddy. - You sure did. 352 00:23:48,615 --> 00:23:50,083 Cheers. 353 00:25:07,736 --> 00:25:09,704 What the hell? 354 00:25:48,902 --> 00:25:50,199 What? 355 00:25:51,989 --> 00:25:53,536 No. 356 00:26:16,013 --> 00:26:17,560 Phil? 357 00:26:18,557 --> 00:26:20,776 I think it's happened again. 358 00:26:21,393 --> 00:26:23,566 Alan, what the fuck did you do? 359 00:26:23,729 --> 00:26:26,573 I didn't do anything. I swear to God. 360 00:26:27,274 --> 00:26:29,493 Your hair is gone. 361 00:26:31,153 --> 00:26:32,621 No, no. 362 00:26:33,071 --> 00:26:34,414 UP... 363 00:26:40,203 --> 00:26:42,376 Where the fuck are we? 364 00:26:51,006 --> 00:26:52,383 Phil, I'm scared. 365 00:27:04,269 --> 00:27:07,113 Stu, come on, get up. We got a situation. 366 00:27:15,113 --> 00:27:17,411 Oh, holy shit. 367 00:27:18,116 --> 00:27:20,084 Where are we? 368 00:27:22,245 --> 00:27:25,624 Oh, my God, Alan. Your head. 369 00:27:25,999 --> 00:27:27,626 No, your head. 370 00:27:28,043 --> 00:27:29,295 He's bald. 371 00:27:29,461 --> 00:27:32,260 Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be okay. 372 00:27:32,422 --> 00:27:34,550 Why? What's...? Is it my teeth? 373 00:27:34,716 --> 00:27:35,933 - It's not your teeth. - No. 374 00:27:36,093 --> 00:27:37,436 - Are you sure? - Yep. 375 00:27:37,594 --> 00:27:39,722 - Did you check the bottoms? - I did. 376 00:27:42,224 --> 00:27:44,147 Oh, my God. 377 00:27:44,643 --> 00:27:47,487 What the fuck? Ow! 378 00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:51,654 That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off? 379 00:27:51,817 --> 00:27:53,160 It's not coming off! 380 00:27:54,611 --> 00:27:57,080 This is a real tattoo! 381 00:27:57,697 --> 00:27:59,620 Alan, what did you do? Did you roofie me? 382 00:27:59,783 --> 00:28:03,128 - I didn't do anything. - Stu, he swore to God. 383 00:28:04,830 --> 00:28:05,956 What happened? 384 00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:10,798 - Oh, jeez! - What is it? What is it? 385 00:28:10,961 --> 00:28:12,929 Help! Back there! What are you'? 386 00:28:13,505 --> 00:28:14,802 Did you see that jump? 387 00:28:14,965 --> 00:28:17,684 - Oh, what the hell? - Oh, it's a monkey. 388 00:28:18,343 --> 00:28:20,937 Look at the cute little vest. Hi, little monkey. 389 00:28:21,096 --> 00:28:22,848 Alan. Alan. 390 00:28:23,682 --> 00:28:24,808 Butthole. 391 00:28:27,352 --> 00:28:28,399 - Phone. - Hi, monkey. 392 00:28:28,562 --> 00:28:30,656 Look, Alan, Alan, go find the phone. 393 00:28:31,773 --> 00:28:33,195 I got it. 394 00:28:34,192 --> 00:28:35,865 Doug. Doug. Where the hell are you? 395 00:28:36,027 --> 00:28:38,826 I'm at breakfast. By the pool. You guys coming down or what? 396 00:28:38,989 --> 00:28:41,617 Oh, Jesus. Thank God. Doug's fine. 397 00:28:41,783 --> 00:28:44,036 Stu, Doug's fine! He's at the resort. 398 00:28:44,202 --> 00:28:45,875 Why aren't we at the resort? 399 00:28:46,037 --> 00:28:47,584 What's going on? Where are you? 400 00:28:47,789 --> 00:28:51,293 I don't know, man. We woke up in some shithole room in some city. 401 00:28:51,460 --> 00:28:53,713 Oh, God. What city? 402 00:28:53,879 --> 00:28:56,883 I don't know, Doug. Fucking Asia Town. 403 00:28:57,382 --> 00:28:59,350 I don't know. I told you. 404 00:28:59,509 --> 00:29:01,227 Where are we? 405 00:29:01,386 --> 00:29:03,309 I have no fucking idea. 406 00:29:06,224 --> 00:29:08,727 - Hey, Stu. - What? 407 00:29:09,311 --> 00:29:11,234 Check this out. 408 00:29:12,481 --> 00:29:14,734 You ever seen anything like this? 409 00:29:21,740 --> 00:29:24,084 Careful! 410 00:29:24,242 --> 00:29:27,587 Might be a spider's nest. I've tangled with those before. 411 00:29:28,747 --> 00:29:32,468 I don't get it, man. I mean, we each had one beer last night, right? 412 00:29:32,626 --> 00:29:35,550 - I mean, you too. - Yeah, but I left early, remember? 413 00:29:35,712 --> 00:29:37,259 I don't remember shit. 414 00:29:37,422 --> 00:29:39,925 Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me. 415 00:29:40,425 --> 00:29:42,223 Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys? 416 00:29:42,385 --> 00:29:44,558 - Teddy? What? - What are you talking about? 417 00:29:44,721 --> 00:29:47,099 They've been looking for him all morning. 418 00:29:47,265 --> 00:29:49,939 - Teddy went to Stanford, right? - Yeah. Why? 419 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:51,777 Fuck! 420 00:29:54,022 --> 00:29:55,114 I just found his finger. 421 00:29:55,732 --> 00:29:57,154 What? 422 00:29:57,776 --> 00:30:00,279 I just found his fucking finger, Doug. 423 00:30:00,445 --> 00:30:01,867 Phil, what is going on? 424 00:30:02,739 --> 00:30:05,458 All right. All right, all right, all right. 425 00:30:05,617 --> 00:30:08,291 This is what we're gonna do. Tell the girls that we woke up early... 426 00:30:08,453 --> 00:30:10,455 and went on a fishing trip. That's where we are. 427 00:30:10,622 --> 00:30:12,716 - Right. - All right, stay by the phone. 428 00:30:14,417 --> 00:30:15,589 Shit! 429 00:30:19,297 --> 00:30:22,016 All right, we got a little bit of a problem. 430 00:30:23,176 --> 00:30:24,974 What is that? 431 00:30:25,804 --> 00:30:27,522 We don't know. 432 00:30:28,223 --> 00:30:30,225 Is it a worm? 433 00:30:30,517 --> 00:30:32,611 It's a mushroom. 434 00:30:34,145 --> 00:30:35,988 Yeah, shiitake. 435 00:30:36,940 --> 00:30:40,035 Monkey, taste it. What do you think? Is it shiitake? 436 00:30:40,193 --> 00:30:41,445 He can't understand you. 437 00:30:42,654 --> 00:30:44,156 He just did. 438 00:30:44,781 --> 00:30:45,998 Why is he pulling on it? 439 00:30:46,157 --> 00:30:47,784 He's probably hungry. 440 00:30:47,951 --> 00:30:49,919 Wait a second. Is that...? 441 00:30:50,078 --> 00:30:53,002 Aah! What the fuck, man? 442 00:30:53,164 --> 00:30:55,462 Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone! 443 00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:56,922 Chow'? 444 00:30:57,669 --> 00:30:59,637 You fucking crazy. 445 00:31:00,130 --> 00:31:02,349 Ah, so fucking light in here. 446 00:31:02,507 --> 00:31:03,679 Alan. 447 00:31:04,175 --> 00:31:05,802 Grab me my sunglasses. 448 00:31:05,969 --> 00:31:10,850 - It's great to see you, Leslie. - Mm. Nice to see you too, my little hobo. 449 00:31:11,016 --> 00:31:12,939 Chow, what the fuck are you doing here? 450 00:31:13,101 --> 00:31:16,776 Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to wedding. 451 00:31:16,938 --> 00:31:19,111 - Excuse me? - What? He's my plus one. 452 00:31:19,274 --> 00:31:21,368 You didn't have a plus one. It's $200 a plate. 453 00:31:21,526 --> 00:31:24,871 Guys, guys. Just focus, okay? Chow, what happened? 454 00:31:25,030 --> 00:31:28,705 You guys texted me, said you fucked up and looking to party. 455 00:31:35,707 --> 00:31:38,961 I picked you up in my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. 456 00:31:39,127 --> 00:31:41,095 And we had a sick night, bitches! 457 00:31:41,254 --> 00:31:44,554 Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Chow. 458 00:31:44,716 --> 00:31:46,468 Chow, we're in Bangkok? 459 00:31:46,635 --> 00:31:50,356 Holler! City of squalor! 460 00:31:50,513 --> 00:31:51,856 Do you know how I got this tattoo? 461 00:31:52,015 --> 00:31:55,360 Uh, yeah. From a fucking tattoo guy. 462 00:31:55,518 --> 00:31:58,021 Come on, Stewie. Use that big Jewish brain. 463 00:31:58,188 --> 00:31:59,986 Hey, what's the monkey holding? 464 00:32:02,984 --> 00:32:04,281 That's a finger! 465 00:32:04,444 --> 00:32:06,663 Stu, I got some bad news. 466 00:32:07,572 --> 00:32:09,950 Teddy was with us last night. 467 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,622 That's his finger. 468 00:32:11,785 --> 00:32:14,208 Teddy... Teddy's dead? 469 00:32:14,371 --> 00:32:18,421 Ha, ha. Teddy not dead. He party with us all night. 470 00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:19,755 Well, then where is he? 471 00:32:19,918 --> 00:32:21,511 Don't you remember anything? 472 00:32:22,337 --> 00:32:25,090 - No! - No. Nothing, Chow. 473 00:32:25,256 --> 00:32:28,226 Okay, okay. I explain it all, okay? 474 00:32:28,802 --> 00:32:30,930 Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. 475 00:32:31,096 --> 00:32:33,098 Come to papa. 476 00:32:33,682 --> 00:32:36,276 - Okay. - That's a big... 477 00:32:41,648 --> 00:32:45,403 You ready for craziest fucking story of... 478 00:32:55,578 --> 00:32:57,125 Chow. 479 00:32:59,124 --> 00:33:00,967 Mr. Chow, are you okay? 480 00:33:03,628 --> 00:33:05,926 You gotta be kidding me. 481 00:33:11,761 --> 00:33:13,729 Fuck, he's dead. 482 00:33:19,394 --> 00:33:20,737 - Help! - Stu. 483 00:33:20,895 --> 00:33:23,239 - Help! Help! - Stu, shut up. 484 00:33:23,398 --> 00:33:24,570 Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up! 485 00:33:25,942 --> 00:33:27,740 - Call an ambulance! - Shut up! 486 00:33:27,902 --> 00:33:31,907 He's dead. Look, if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine... 487 00:33:32,073 --> 00:33:34,542 we'll spend the rest of our lives in a Thai prison. Shh! 488 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,333 Alan. Alan, please stop crying. 489 00:33:39,664 --> 00:33:44,511 All right. All right! I just need a second to figure this out. 490 00:34:18,077 --> 00:34:21,877 - This is the worst idea ever. - What the fuck is this place? 491 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,761 - "Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. - Its population is 12 million people." 492 00:34:25,919 --> 00:34:28,513 Alan, put the cards away and help. 493 00:34:34,385 --> 00:34:35,682 Elevator. 494 00:34:35,845 --> 00:34:38,018 I'll get the button. I'll get the button. 495 00:34:40,725 --> 00:34:42,853 What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? 496 00:34:43,019 --> 00:34:45,067 That monkey gets it. 497 00:34:45,939 --> 00:34:48,158 - Come on. - Oh, fuck. No, the power's out. 498 00:34:48,316 --> 00:34:50,694 - We gotta take the stairs. - Ah, fuck! 499 00:34:51,319 --> 00:34:52,366 Come on. 500 00:34:57,659 --> 00:34:58,751 Here it is. 501 00:35:00,119 --> 00:35:03,498 Feet first, feet first. I've done this before. 502 00:35:04,499 --> 00:35:06,046 Alan. 503 00:35:07,168 --> 00:35:10,092 All right. Careful. Careful. 504 00:35:30,316 --> 00:35:33,069 What? 505 00:35:35,154 --> 00:35:37,202 We still have to find Teddy. 506 00:35:37,365 --> 00:35:39,288 Oh, God. 507 00:35:47,125 --> 00:35:48,126 The roof! 508 00:35:48,918 --> 00:35:50,044 - Teddy! - Teddy! 509 00:35:50,211 --> 00:35:54,432 - Teddy! Teddy! - Teddy! Teddy! 510 00:35:55,633 --> 00:35:56,850 ALAN; Teddy! 511 00:36:00,305 --> 00:36:02,979 - You guys see anything? - No. 512 00:36:06,144 --> 00:36:09,569 Come on. Where are you, buddy? 513 00:36:12,317 --> 00:36:14,240 He's not here. 514 00:36:16,279 --> 00:36:19,453 I can't believe this is happening again. 515 00:36:22,243 --> 00:36:26,168 Okay. Look, we'll handle this. You get back there. 516 00:36:26,331 --> 00:36:29,835 You tell them that Alan and I got drunk with him, we're still partying. 517 00:36:30,001 --> 00:36:32,220 - You gotta go get married. - No, no. 518 00:36:32,378 --> 00:36:35,006 I'm not going back without Teddy. 519 00:36:35,173 --> 00:36:38,017 It's Lauren's little brother, he's lost, he's injured. 520 00:36:39,844 --> 00:36:42,097 If I fuck this up... 521 00:36:42,388 --> 00:36:44,891 I lose everything. 522 00:36:47,393 --> 00:36:48,690 Okay. 523 00:36:50,188 --> 00:36:51,360 All right. 524 00:36:52,815 --> 00:36:55,113 Alan, check your pockets. 525 00:36:55,276 --> 00:36:56,698 - What? - You know the drill. 526 00:36:56,861 --> 00:36:59,034 Come on, there might be clues. 527 00:36:59,197 --> 00:37:02,497 - Check your phones. Numbers, texts. - Oh, that's a good idea. 528 00:37:03,326 --> 00:37:04,953 - I got nothing. Fuck. - Me neither. 529 00:37:05,119 --> 00:37:07,042 - I got a text from Chow. - What time? 530 00:37:07,205 --> 00:37:09,207 Uh, 10:00 last night. 531 00:37:09,374 --> 00:37:10,876 What's it say? 532 00:37:11,042 --> 00:37:13,761 "On my way, niggas." 533 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,046 Oh, niggas. Okay. 534 00:37:15,213 --> 00:37:16,510 Hip-hop. 535 00:37:19,342 --> 00:37:23,222 We are so fucked. 536 00:37:24,389 --> 00:37:26,562 - Hey, Phil. - What? 537 00:37:26,724 --> 00:37:28,567 Look who's back. Hi. 538 00:37:30,478 --> 00:37:33,231 We gotta get you out of the sun. Get you a hat. 539 00:37:33,398 --> 00:37:35,196 Yeah. Yeah. 540 00:37:36,025 --> 00:37:39,029 Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate. 541 00:37:39,195 --> 00:37:41,948 For what? Report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine? 542 00:37:42,115 --> 00:37:45,085 Are we gonna keep walking in circles? That's real productive. 543 00:37:45,243 --> 00:37:48,042 I'm trying to figure this out. Your attitude is not helping. 544 00:37:48,204 --> 00:37:51,333 Well, I'm sorry. It's 100 degrees and we don't have a plan. 545 00:37:51,499 --> 00:37:53,593 And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas. 546 00:37:53,751 --> 00:37:55,094 What? It's a bag of Fanta. 547 00:37:55,253 --> 00:37:57,847 - All right, what do you wanna do, Stu? - I don't know. 548 00:37:58,006 --> 00:38:00,600 - Then stop yelling at me like it's my fault. - It is your fault! 549 00:38:01,926 --> 00:38:03,599 All I wanted was a bachelor brunch. 550 00:38:03,761 --> 00:38:05,934 Shit. Shut up, it's Doug. Talk to me. 551 00:38:06,222 --> 00:38:09,271 Just got off the phone with Bangkok P.D. They got him. He's okay. 552 00:38:09,434 --> 00:38:12,608 Oh. Thank God. Doug found him. 553 00:38:12,770 --> 00:38:14,443 - What happened? - He got arrested. 554 00:38:14,605 --> 00:38:17,449 - Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct. 555 00:38:17,608 --> 00:38:19,781 - Seriously? - Yeah. He's okay, though. 556 00:38:19,944 --> 00:38:23,494 They'll release him to you, no questions asked. No one here has to know. 557 00:38:23,656 --> 00:38:25,704 He's at the, uh... 558 00:38:26,868 --> 00:38:29,041 "Ratchawang Police Station." 559 00:38:29,203 --> 00:38:31,456 Okay. Okay, I'll call you when we get there. 560 00:38:31,622 --> 00:38:35,377 - Teddy's in jail, but fine. We gotta get a cab. - Okay. All right. 561 00:38:40,631 --> 00:38:43,134 - Yes, I have his paperwork here. - Okay. 562 00:38:43,301 --> 00:38:45,303 - He has been cleared. - Sounds good. 563 00:38:45,470 --> 00:38:47,268 - Of course. - Thank you. 564 00:38:47,430 --> 00:38:49,933 We're good, we're good. They're processing for release. 565 00:38:51,684 --> 00:38:53,982 Yeah, they threw him in the drunk tank. He's fine. 566 00:38:54,187 --> 00:38:57,282 Sixteen years old, spent a night in jail. Can you imagine? 567 00:38:58,775 --> 00:39:00,322 We love to party. 568 00:39:04,447 --> 00:39:06,245 Here we go. 569 00:39:06,741 --> 00:39:09,335 - Wait, who's this fucking guy? - Teddy Srisai. 570 00:39:09,494 --> 00:39:10,996 What...? No, no, no. I'm so... 571 00:39:11,162 --> 00:39:12,789 It's the wrong guy. Sir. 572 00:39:12,955 --> 00:39:15,003 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Uh, there's been a mistake. 573 00:39:15,166 --> 00:39:17,840 He brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy. 574 00:39:18,002 --> 00:39:20,846 Of course it is. We have his IDs and everything. 575 00:39:22,215 --> 00:39:24,513 These were in his pockets when we made the arrest. 576 00:39:24,675 --> 00:39:25,801 They were in his pocket? 577 00:39:27,845 --> 00:39:29,017 Excuse me, sir. 578 00:39:29,180 --> 00:39:31,353 How did you get this stuff? 579 00:39:32,683 --> 00:39:34,310 Hello? 580 00:39:34,769 --> 00:39:36,112 Teddy doesn't speak. 581 00:39:36,270 --> 00:39:39,615 We tried English, Thai, Chinese. Nothing. 582 00:39:39,774 --> 00:39:41,196 Let me ask you something. 583 00:39:41,359 --> 00:39:45,830 Does he look like he works out at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California? 584 00:39:46,697 --> 00:39:49,541 Look, we arrest a lot of people. 585 00:39:49,700 --> 00:39:52,874 We cannot analyze everything. All right? 586 00:39:53,037 --> 00:39:55,210 Well, what do you expect us to do with this guy? 587 00:39:55,373 --> 00:39:56,499 Not my problem. 588 00:39:57,917 --> 00:39:59,294 Hey, guys? 589 00:40:00,211 --> 00:40:01,713 I think he knows us. 590 00:40:01,879 --> 00:40:03,552 Hi. Hello. 591 00:40:07,260 --> 00:40:11,481 Do you know where our friend is? Teddy! He's missing! 592 00:40:11,639 --> 00:40:13,733 Stu, forget it. The guy's worthless. 593 00:40:13,891 --> 00:40:17,236 He knows something. He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt. 594 00:40:18,604 --> 00:40:20,026 What if he just doesn't understand? 595 00:40:20,189 --> 00:40:24,069 Uh, I'll act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch. 596 00:40:24,735 --> 00:40:26,487 - Two words. - Is it a movie? 597 00:40:27,071 --> 00:40:29,415 This is not for you, Alan. 598 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,579 American teenager in Asia. 599 00:40:34,745 --> 00:40:36,873 Karate Kid with Jaden Smith. 600 00:40:37,582 --> 00:40:39,926 It's easy because you were talking through it. 601 00:40:40,293 --> 00:40:41,840 Stu, it's a waste of time. 602 00:40:42,003 --> 00:40:43,926 Just leave this fucking guy here. 603 00:40:44,088 --> 00:40:47,843 Oh, here's something. "There are 500,000 monks living in Thailand." 604 00:40:48,009 --> 00:40:52,105 It is not uncommon for some monks to take a vow of silence... 605 00:40:52,263 --> 00:40:55,608 "at the age of 8." There you go. 606 00:40:55,766 --> 00:40:58,485 - Is there anything else in that envelope? - No, it's empty. 607 00:40:59,979 --> 00:41:01,071 Whoa, hang on. 608 00:41:01,230 --> 00:41:05,701 A drink card from White Lion Bar, Bangkok? 609 00:41:06,277 --> 00:41:08,371 Worth a shot. 610 00:41:09,989 --> 00:41:13,084 Jesus Christ. Is this the right street? 611 00:41:13,242 --> 00:41:14,459 That's what it says. 612 00:41:20,124 --> 00:41:23,799 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the White Lion. 613 00:41:24,462 --> 00:41:26,135 What the fuck happened here? 614 00:41:26,297 --> 00:41:28,641 Holy shit. 615 00:41:33,471 --> 00:41:36,566 - Oh, okay. Just keep walking. Yeah. - Okay. Yeah, we should probably... 616 00:41:40,645 --> 00:41:41,988 - Ah! - All right. It's okay. 617 00:41:42,813 --> 00:41:44,486 What the fuck is going on here? 618 00:41:46,275 --> 00:41:49,154 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, check it out. 619 00:41:49,654 --> 00:41:52,908 Holy shit. Stu, look. 620 00:41:53,074 --> 00:41:54,496 That's my face. 621 00:41:54,659 --> 00:41:56,411 Go, go, go. 622 00:41:56,911 --> 00:41:58,333 Nice work, Alan. 623 00:42:00,498 --> 00:42:03,251 - Hello? - Be with you in a minute. 624 00:42:07,338 --> 00:42:08,806 Excuse me. 625 00:42:09,090 --> 00:42:10,683 Oh, look who it is. 626 00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:13,268 So, what do you think? 627 00:42:13,427 --> 00:42:14,599 What? I'm sorry? 628 00:42:14,762 --> 00:42:16,764 The tattoo? You love it? 629 00:42:17,598 --> 00:42:19,771 Uh, no. Actually, I hate it. 630 00:42:19,934 --> 00:42:22,028 No refunds. Get the fuck out. 631 00:42:22,186 --> 00:42:24,109 - Wait a second. - Read the sign. 632 00:42:26,023 --> 00:42:28,867 We don't want a refund. We just have a couple of questions. 633 00:42:29,026 --> 00:42:31,154 Trying to figure out what went down last night. 634 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:32,617 "What went down"? 635 00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:35,499 Look what you did outside. Half the neighborhood went down. 636 00:42:35,658 --> 00:42:36,705 We did that? 637 00:42:36,867 --> 00:42:39,871 You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion? 638 00:42:40,037 --> 00:42:41,789 Starting a full-on fucking riot? 639 00:42:41,956 --> 00:42:45,460 No, sir. We don't remember anything. 640 00:42:49,588 --> 00:42:52,933 Hold this. Oh, boy. 641 00:42:53,634 --> 00:42:55,557 Check this out. 642 00:42:59,724 --> 00:43:00,896 Holy shit. 643 00:43:04,687 --> 00:43:06,815 Fuck the police! 644 00:43:06,981 --> 00:43:08,733 Fuck the police! 645 00:43:12,111 --> 00:43:13,533 There's Teddy. He was with us. 646 00:43:28,127 --> 00:43:29,629 Jesus Christ. 647 00:43:29,795 --> 00:43:32,719 That's when the cops arrived, started cracking skulls. 648 00:43:32,882 --> 00:43:35,180 I took you guys and hid you in the shop here. 649 00:43:35,676 --> 00:43:39,226 Then you decided to get a tattoo. Cried like a little bitch. 650 00:43:40,056 --> 00:43:42,935 This kid's fucking 9 years old. He's got balls twice your size. 651 00:43:43,434 --> 00:43:46,438 - Show him your balls, man. - No, no, no. That's okay. 652 00:43:47,605 --> 00:43:50,609 Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him? 653 00:43:51,025 --> 00:43:52,743 Not since last night. What happened? 654 00:43:52,902 --> 00:43:56,247 Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kind of lost him. 655 00:43:57,114 --> 00:43:59,958 Oh, well. Then fuck it. 656 00:44:00,117 --> 00:44:01,585 What do you mean, "fuck it"? 657 00:44:02,953 --> 00:44:06,457 Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go. 658 00:44:06,624 --> 00:44:08,297 You hear that? Huh? 659 00:44:08,459 --> 00:44:10,427 - Is this what you wanted? Happy now? - Phil. 660 00:44:10,586 --> 00:44:14,386 You're wasting your time. These monks take their vow shit seriously. 661 00:44:14,548 --> 00:44:15,720 Look at this. 662 00:44:15,883 --> 00:44:18,932 That's the sign of the Chiang Mei monastery just outside of town. 663 00:44:19,637 --> 00:44:21,935 Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk. 664 00:44:27,311 --> 00:44:30,440 Can we just go over this one more time? You got the beer from...? 665 00:44:30,606 --> 00:44:32,825 The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. 666 00:44:32,983 --> 00:44:35,953 - Right. But who gave it to you? - The bartender. 667 00:44:36,112 --> 00:44:37,659 Right. Okay. 668 00:44:37,822 --> 00:44:39,995 And then you brought them out and I opened them. 669 00:44:40,157 --> 00:44:43,661 Yeah, and Doug had one and he was fine, so it's not the beer. 670 00:44:43,994 --> 00:44:46,088 - So, what the hell happened? - I have no idea. 671 00:44:46,247 --> 00:44:49,251 Hey, guys. Check it out, he's got a Chinese boner. 672 00:44:49,417 --> 00:44:51,670 Alan, come on. Cut it out. 673 00:44:55,256 --> 00:44:57,099 The monkey is a pervert. 674 00:44:57,258 --> 00:44:59,135 Come on, that is so wrong. 675 00:44:59,301 --> 00:45:02,020 Hey, don't stop, monkey, keep doing it. 676 00:45:09,687 --> 00:45:13,362 When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language. 677 00:45:15,776 --> 00:45:17,699 Oh, keep doing it! 678 00:45:18,529 --> 00:45:21,373 All right. Thank you. 679 00:45:21,532 --> 00:45:23,034 We good? 680 00:45:23,868 --> 00:45:27,088 Bye, Shannon. Bye, Lil Wayne. 681 00:45:36,630 --> 00:45:38,132 Wow. 682 00:45:38,632 --> 00:45:40,885 So beautiful. 683 00:45:42,678 --> 00:45:45,101 What is this, a P.F. Chang's? 684 00:45:46,557 --> 00:45:48,935 Ah, they're meditating. 685 00:45:50,060 --> 00:45:52,859 - Such a peaceful people. - Yeah. 686 00:45:53,397 --> 00:45:54,694 Knock, knock! Hello? 687 00:45:54,857 --> 00:45:57,736 - Alan, Alan, show some respect. - Don't get up, guys. 688 00:45:58,402 --> 00:46:00,655 We brought one of your guys back. 689 00:46:00,821 --> 00:46:03,574 He's really funny. He's really nice and cool. 690 00:46:04,241 --> 00:46:07,461 Hi, how you doing? Uh, are you the one in charge? 691 00:46:08,829 --> 00:46:11,252 - Hey! Aah! - Excuse me. Ow! 692 00:46:11,415 --> 00:46:12,667 Stop in. 693 00:46:12,833 --> 00:46:14,585 Just calm down! Aah! 694 00:46:14,752 --> 00:46:15,844 Hold on! Ah! 695 00:46:16,003 --> 00:46:18,381 "It's because" Ow! We're talking! Ah! 696 00:46:18,547 --> 00:46:20,720 Stop talking. Goddamn it! 697 00:46:20,883 --> 00:46:22,226 Don't! Stop! 698 00:46:22,384 --> 00:46:23,601 Wait! It's me! 699 00:46:23,761 --> 00:46:24,887 Stop hitting me! 700 00:46:25,054 --> 00:46:26,101 Oh, I get it. 701 00:46:30,434 --> 00:46:32,277 No talk. No talk. 702 00:46:32,561 --> 00:46:35,781 Shh. Okay. We no talk. 703 00:46:39,777 --> 00:46:40,824 Okay. 704 00:46:40,986 --> 00:46:43,284 - Asshole. - I get it, I get it. 705 00:47:01,799 --> 00:47:06,555 Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery... 706 00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:12,477 shouting out question about love, marriage and the meaning of life. 707 00:47:14,103 --> 00:47:19,405 Poor Brother Han was meditating alone in the garden and you took him. 708 00:47:19,567 --> 00:47:22,070 Oh, my God. 709 00:47:22,570 --> 00:47:24,413 We kidnapped a monk. 710 00:47:24,863 --> 00:47:27,082 Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle. 711 00:47:27,241 --> 00:47:32,168 And we are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night. 712 00:47:32,329 --> 00:47:35,003 Yup, things kind of spun out of control a little bit. 713 00:47:35,165 --> 00:47:39,170 But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. 714 00:47:39,336 --> 00:47:41,714 Can you find out if he knows where our friend is? 715 00:47:42,006 --> 00:47:45,135 Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago. 716 00:47:45,301 --> 00:47:47,303 It would be useless to try. 717 00:47:47,469 --> 00:47:51,849 Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper. 718 00:47:52,016 --> 00:47:54,690 Actually, that would be cheating. Right, Grand Wizard? 719 00:47:54,852 --> 00:47:57,696 - Alan. - I'm afraid Fatty is right. 720 00:47:57,855 --> 00:47:59,857 See? What? 721 00:48:00,024 --> 00:48:03,449 None us will ever know what Brother Han knows. 722 00:48:03,611 --> 00:48:04,863 Oh, all right. 723 00:48:05,029 --> 00:48:08,158 So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. Come on, let's go. 724 00:48:08,324 --> 00:48:12,045 Hey, you know what? FYI, you may wanna put some signs up that say "no talking"... 725 00:48:12,202 --> 00:48:15,046 - before you unleash your dragon. - Yeah, that was a little rough. 726 00:48:15,205 --> 00:48:19,460 You're welcome for bringing him back safe. You know, we found him in a drunk tank. 727 00:48:19,627 --> 00:48:21,345 We did take him in the first place. 728 00:48:21,503 --> 00:48:23,301 Come on, guys, let's go. 729 00:48:24,131 --> 00:48:25,553 Wait. 730 00:48:26,425 --> 00:48:27,893 The Buddha teach: 731 00:48:28,385 --> 00:48:31,855 Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 732 00:48:32,264 --> 00:48:36,735 Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation. 733 00:48:37,311 --> 00:48:39,780 - Did you understand a word he said? - About two-thirds. 734 00:48:39,938 --> 00:48:41,906 Something about the garden of meditation? 735 00:48:42,066 --> 00:48:44,990 No, he said he's farting because of his medication. 736 00:48:45,569 --> 00:48:46,570 I get that. 737 00:48:52,284 --> 00:48:55,379 - This is a waste of time. - I don't remember anything. 738 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,548 Do you? 739 00:48:57,706 --> 00:49:00,334 No. I got nothing. 740 00:49:01,335 --> 00:49:02,803 Alan? 741 00:49:05,297 --> 00:49:06,514 Alan? 742 00:49:09,843 --> 00:49:12,938 Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 743 00:49:13,097 --> 00:49:14,940 Sweetie? What? 744 00:49:15,099 --> 00:49:16,772 You have visitors. 745 00:49:16,934 --> 00:49:18,777 - Hey, Alan. - Hey, guys. 746 00:49:18,936 --> 00:49:20,609 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, buddy. 747 00:49:20,771 --> 00:49:24,275 - Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. - Is this true, Stuart? 748 00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:26,698 Yeah, why not? It'll be fun. 749 00:49:28,070 --> 00:49:30,448 - What the fuck? - To Lauren and Stu. 750 00:49:31,490 --> 00:49:32,958 Cheers. 751 00:49:35,035 --> 00:49:38,084 - Chow? - We had a sick night, bitches! 752 00:49:38,622 --> 00:49:41,125 - Yeah! - Alan, what the fuck? 753 00:49:42,626 --> 00:49:44,299 Is that person coming to the wedding? 754 00:49:44,461 --> 00:49:45,838 There is no wolf pack. 755 00:49:46,004 --> 00:49:48,678 - Alan, don't do that! - "The population in Thailand is ..." 756 00:49:48,841 --> 00:49:52,311 And we're the three best friends That anybody could have. 757 00:49:57,558 --> 00:49:58,650 Hey! 758 00:50:00,936 --> 00:50:04,315 Yeah! Fuck the police! Fuck the police! 759 00:50:16,618 --> 00:50:18,370 I know where to go. 760 00:50:21,165 --> 00:50:23,167 What do you think, Alan? 761 00:50:23,333 --> 00:50:25,335 Uh, this is the place. 762 00:50:25,502 --> 00:50:26,799 Come on, let's go. 763 00:50:31,550 --> 00:50:34,429 I don't remember any of this. 764 00:50:34,970 --> 00:50:37,018 Yeah, Alan, are you sure this is the place? 765 00:50:37,181 --> 00:50:39,183 Yeah, pretty sure. 766 00:50:46,523 --> 00:50:48,617 Bros, finally! 767 00:50:48,776 --> 00:50:51,450 Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him. 768 00:50:51,904 --> 00:50:53,872 Uh, I'm sorry. Waiting for who? 769 00:50:54,031 --> 00:50:55,624 Chow, that dick-ass fuck. 770 00:50:57,367 --> 00:50:59,540 - Why, what's wrong? - Nothing. Nothing's wrong. 771 00:50:59,703 --> 00:51:01,501 Okay, good. Look at this. 772 00:51:01,663 --> 00:51:04,542 Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh? Huh? 773 00:51:05,042 --> 00:51:07,716 - No, no, no. - $6000, American. 774 00:51:07,878 --> 00:51:09,972 Wow, it looks so real. 775 00:51:16,011 --> 00:51:18,309 Sorry. Ahem. Sorry. 776 00:51:18,472 --> 00:51:19,974 Alan! What the fuck? 777 00:51:20,140 --> 00:51:23,895 It's okay! It's okay. The gun, very sensitive. Very sensitive. 778 00:51:24,061 --> 00:51:25,904 - Everybody okay? - Yeah, okay. 779 00:51:26,063 --> 00:51:29,317 Okay? Then get the fuck back to work! 780 00:51:29,483 --> 00:51:30,700 Come on! Music, please! 781 00:51:32,069 --> 00:51:33,537 Who has my $6000? 782 00:51:33,695 --> 00:51:37,495 No, no, no. That's Chow's deal. We got nothing to do with that. 783 00:51:37,658 --> 00:51:39,410 Un-fucking-believable, man. 784 00:51:39,576 --> 00:51:43,626 This guy, if he backs out again, this shit is gonna catch up to him, okay? 785 00:51:43,789 --> 00:51:47,089 He's made a lot of enemies in this town and now they're your enemies. 786 00:51:47,251 --> 00:51:48,377 That's not fair! 787 00:51:48,544 --> 00:51:51,218 Okay, listen. We're just looking for a little kid. 788 00:51:51,380 --> 00:51:53,098 - Two thousand dollars. - What? 789 00:51:53,257 --> 00:51:56,101 I don't know. Maybe more. How young you want this kid to be? 790 00:51:56,260 --> 00:51:59,264 No! No, no, no. Sorry. You misunderstood. 791 00:51:59,429 --> 00:52:03,775 We're looking for our friend, 16 years old, Teddy? 792 00:52:03,934 --> 00:52:06,608 Teddy? Yeah, he was here with you guys last night. 793 00:52:06,770 --> 00:52:08,693 He was? You remember if he left with us? 794 00:52:08,856 --> 00:52:12,406 You were in the corner all night with Kimmy. I didn't see you leave. 795 00:52:12,568 --> 00:52:14,411 Kimmy? Kimmy? Is she here? 796 00:52:14,570 --> 00:52:17,790 Yeah, she's in the back. She just came for her shift. Go talk to her. 797 00:52:18,448 --> 00:52:20,997 Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened. 798 00:52:21,159 --> 00:52:23,332 Pay attention what I'm gonna talk to you now. 799 00:52:23,495 --> 00:52:27,750 When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says hello. 800 00:52:27,916 --> 00:52:29,884 - Okay. - But do it like that, okay? 801 00:52:30,043 --> 00:52:31,966 Hello. Like threatening. 802 00:52:32,129 --> 00:52:33,426 Like ironic. 803 00:52:33,797 --> 00:52:35,765 - Hello. - Okay. 804 00:52:37,593 --> 00:52:39,891 - Hello. - Hello. 805 00:52:40,053 --> 00:52:42,431 - Hello. - More O. Hello. 806 00:52:42,598 --> 00:52:43,645 Hello. 807 00:52:43,807 --> 00:52:46,401 Go away, go away. Fucking make me crazy. 808 00:52:46,810 --> 00:52:50,610 Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone. 809 00:52:50,772 --> 00:52:54,151 Nice kid. His parents must be so proud. 810 00:52:54,318 --> 00:52:55,740 Yeah. You have no idea. 811 00:52:56,403 --> 00:52:58,405 Okay, so do you remember if he left with us? 812 00:52:58,572 --> 00:53:02,952 Yeah, you all were leaving together, but you almost forgot this one right here. 813 00:53:03,118 --> 00:53:05,541 - Right, superstar? - Hmm. 814 00:53:05,704 --> 00:53:10,084 This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night. 815 00:53:10,250 --> 00:53:13,470 Saying how he fall in love with me and ask me to marry him. 816 00:53:15,839 --> 00:53:16,931 Classic Stu. 817 00:53:18,175 --> 00:53:20,928 - We didn't get married, did we? - Of course not. 818 00:53:21,094 --> 00:53:23,096 We just had some fun in the Chardonnay Room. 819 00:53:23,555 --> 00:53:25,774 What, uh... What happens in the Chardonnay Room? 820 00:53:25,933 --> 00:53:27,856 Let's just stay on task here. 821 00:53:28,018 --> 00:53:30,862 Oh, you know. Dance for him. He tickle me. We had sex. 822 00:53:31,021 --> 00:53:33,149 - I massage his shoulders. - Fuck! 823 00:53:33,315 --> 00:53:35,693 It's okay. You're not married yet. It's no big deal. 824 00:53:35,859 --> 00:53:37,987 It's cheating, okay? 825 00:53:38,153 --> 00:53:42,454 No offense to you. You're a lovely woman. It's a violation of my moral code. 826 00:53:42,616 --> 00:53:45,290 Don't be sad. Stu, you love it. 827 00:53:45,452 --> 00:53:48,126 You were crying, saying how special it was. 828 00:53:48,288 --> 00:53:50,211 Wait. Ha, ha. I'm sorry, he was crying? 829 00:53:50,374 --> 00:53:51,717 What a baby. He was crying. 830 00:53:51,875 --> 00:53:55,971 You should have seen him. He was so sexy, the way he move around. 831 00:53:56,672 --> 00:53:59,471 I had to ask him slow down so I don't drop my load too quick. 832 00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:04,062 Load? What load? 833 00:54:04,221 --> 00:54:06,895 Oh, you know. My sperms. 834 00:54:08,225 --> 00:54:11,820 Eh, I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperms. 835 00:54:12,980 --> 00:54:14,527 Where would your sperm come from? 836 00:54:14,690 --> 00:54:16,067 From my balls. 837 00:54:16,233 --> 00:54:17,530 Hold on. Back up. 838 00:54:17,693 --> 00:54:20,242 Wait, wait. Are you...? 839 00:54:20,404 --> 00:54:22,873 Hey. You in Bangkok, sweetie. 840 00:54:23,031 --> 00:54:25,079 There's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt. 841 00:54:25,242 --> 00:54:26,835 Oh! 842 00:54:31,081 --> 00:54:32,583 Oh, my God. 843 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:34,968 Wow. 844 00:54:36,586 --> 00:54:39,180 I don't get it. Is this a magic show? 845 00:54:40,007 --> 00:54:44,433 Come on, Stu. It was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time. 846 00:54:45,137 --> 00:54:46,684 How's that work? 847 00:54:46,847 --> 00:54:49,942 Shoot my load into you, you shoot your load on the floor. 848 00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:52,444 - Okay. - You shot your load in me? 849 00:54:52,936 --> 00:54:54,108 In my bottom? 850 00:54:55,439 --> 00:54:57,316 Oh, God. 851 00:55:04,573 --> 00:55:07,292 Stu, it's not the end of the world. 852 00:55:07,451 --> 00:55:09,624 I'm sorry, but I am so confused. 853 00:55:11,079 --> 00:55:13,958 I made love to a man with boobies. 854 00:55:14,124 --> 00:55:17,799 Listen, I promise you no one's ever gonna find out about this. 855 00:55:17,961 --> 00:55:19,463 But we just found out about it. 856 00:55:19,629 --> 00:55:21,927 And then we forget. That's what we do. 857 00:55:22,090 --> 00:55:24,969 I've done so much fucked up shit, and I just forget about it. 858 00:55:25,135 --> 00:55:28,765 - You have? - Yeah. You just forget. It goes away. 859 00:55:29,973 --> 00:55:32,977 That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen. 860 00:55:33,143 --> 00:55:34,986 That's what I'm gonna do. 861 00:55:35,771 --> 00:55:37,318 I'm just gonna forget about it. 862 00:55:37,481 --> 00:55:38,983 - Never happened. - Right. 863 00:55:40,609 --> 00:55:42,987 Phone. Phone. Who is it? Answer. 864 00:55:43,153 --> 00:55:44,655 Lauren's dad. 865 00:55:44,821 --> 00:55:46,118 It just reminded me. 866 00:55:46,281 --> 00:55:47,828 - Answer it. - I can't. 867 00:55:47,991 --> 00:55:50,744 He might know something about Teddy. We still have a shot. 868 00:55:50,911 --> 00:55:54,791 - I can't. - Get your head back into the fucking game. 869 00:55:59,503 --> 00:56:01,847 - Hello? - Who takes an all-day fishing trip... 870 00:56:02,005 --> 00:56:03,803 the day before a wedding? 871 00:56:03,965 --> 00:56:07,310 Yeah, ha, ha. I guess it was kind of stupid. 872 00:56:07,469 --> 00:56:09,016 Put Teddy on the phone. 873 00:56:09,971 --> 00:56:14,101 - Uh, Teddy's seasick, actually. - Seasick? 874 00:56:14,267 --> 00:56:16,941 Teddy's been a maritime deck cadet since he was 9. 875 00:56:17,104 --> 00:56:19,527 Well, that's weird, because he's puking everywhere. 876 00:56:19,689 --> 00:56:22,784 I'm gonna tell you something that you did not know. 877 00:56:22,943 --> 00:56:24,320 I don't like you. 878 00:56:24,486 --> 00:56:27,160 - Yeah, I knew that already. - My daughter chooses you... 879 00:56:27,322 --> 00:56:29,324 that's her problem. Hey, it's Phil Winnick. 880 00:56:29,491 --> 00:56:32,745 Listen, I apologize. We've been reeling in some crazy marlin, and I just want... 881 00:56:35,330 --> 00:56:36,377 Phil! Phil! 882 00:56:36,540 --> 00:56:37,541 Jesus. 883 00:56:37,707 --> 00:56:39,801 - Phil? You're okay. - Fuck me. 884 00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:41,212 Give us back our monkey. 885 00:56:41,378 --> 00:56:43,005 What monkey? Get your own monkey! 886 00:56:43,421 --> 00:56:45,549 Come on, you asshole. The fucking monkey. 887 00:56:46,216 --> 00:56:47,559 Come on. 888 00:56:47,717 --> 00:56:49,845 Any time, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us. 889 00:56:50,011 --> 00:56:51,354 This is our monkey. 890 00:56:51,513 --> 00:56:55,143 Alan, no one's getting shot over a fucking monkey. Hand him over now. 891 00:56:55,308 --> 00:56:58,482 Oh, God, I never get to keep no monkeys. 892 00:57:03,066 --> 00:57:05,444 Hey, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet. 893 00:57:05,610 --> 00:57:07,908 - These guys are the real deal. - What's happening? 894 00:57:08,071 --> 00:57:11,075 Hold on. How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is? 895 00:57:11,241 --> 00:57:14,085 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, 16 years old, Asian kid? 896 00:57:16,580 --> 00:57:18,253 No, I don't understand what he said. 897 00:57:18,748 --> 00:57:20,842 What did he say? What did he say? 898 00:57:21,001 --> 00:57:23,675 He said, "Fuck you and your question." 899 00:57:25,547 --> 00:57:26,924 Oh, my arm! 900 00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,263 Poor Phil! Phil, are you okay? 901 00:57:29,759 --> 00:57:33,639 Oh, I got shot. Fuck! Fuck, guys. 902 00:57:33,805 --> 00:57:38,106 It's all right, Phil. We'll figure this all out and get the monkey back. I promise. 903 00:57:38,268 --> 00:57:40,236 No one gives a fuck about the monkey, Alan! 904 00:57:40,395 --> 00:57:42,614 Oh, shit, look at my arm. 905 00:57:42,772 --> 00:57:45,616 What the fuck is going on? 906 00:57:45,775 --> 00:57:48,369 Stu, am I gonna be okay? You're a doctor. 907 00:57:48,528 --> 00:57:51,247 I don't know. Let me look, let me look. 908 00:57:52,782 --> 00:57:54,455 What? What? 909 00:57:54,618 --> 00:57:56,120 Stu, come here. No, look at it. 910 00:57:56,286 --> 00:57:59,460 Stuart Price, get your ass back over here! 911 00:57:59,623 --> 00:58:01,045 - You got shot! - I know! 912 00:58:17,641 --> 00:58:19,689 - Hey. - Yo. You all right? 913 00:58:19,851 --> 00:58:21,603 Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay. 914 00:58:21,770 --> 00:58:26,367 Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches. 915 00:58:26,858 --> 00:58:28,986 Only cost $6. How's that even possible? 916 00:58:29,152 --> 00:58:31,951 How's any of this even possible? 917 00:58:35,367 --> 00:58:38,166 I mean, if I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead. 918 00:58:40,997 --> 00:58:42,670 What are we gonna do? 919 00:58:47,879 --> 00:58:50,348 I'm sorry, guys. This wasn't part of the plan. 920 00:58:52,217 --> 00:58:54,015 What plan, Alan? 921 00:58:55,303 --> 00:58:56,930 I've said too much already. 922 00:59:05,021 --> 00:59:08,025 Alan, what plan? 923 00:59:09,651 --> 00:59:11,369 This is all Teddy's fault. 924 00:59:11,528 --> 00:59:13,030 What are you talking about, Alan? 925 00:59:13,196 --> 00:59:15,369 Why is he here? He's not part of the wolf pack. 926 00:59:15,532 --> 00:59:18,376 Alan, what did you do? 927 00:59:18,535 --> 00:59:21,664 It's not my fault. Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag. 928 00:59:23,373 --> 00:59:24,465 What bag? 929 00:59:24,624 --> 00:59:27,719 The marshmallows. I had a separate bag just for Teddy. 930 00:59:27,877 --> 00:59:31,381 But it was dark, it was hard to keep track, and then you almost sat on them. 931 00:59:31,548 --> 00:59:33,892 I couldn't tell which was which. It was mayhem. 932 00:59:34,050 --> 00:59:36,098 What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan? 933 00:59:36,511 --> 00:59:39,014 Alan? What did you do? 934 00:59:39,180 --> 00:59:42,935 Well, isn't it obvious? I spiked them with muscle relaxers. 935 00:59:43,101 --> 00:59:45,399 And, plus, my ADHD medication. 936 00:59:45,562 --> 00:59:47,530 - What? - You drugged us again? 937 00:59:47,689 --> 00:59:51,364 Not you. I just wanted to knock out Teddy so we could enjoy the weekend. 938 00:59:51,526 --> 00:59:56,202 "Enjoy the weekend"'? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything. 939 00:59:56,364 --> 00:59:58,037 Alan, you swore to God. 940 00:59:58,199 --> 01:00:00,452 I just wanted things to stay the same. 941 01:00:00,618 --> 01:00:02,791 Look at my face! 942 01:00:03,079 --> 01:00:04,581 You ruined my life! 943 01:00:05,123 --> 01:00:06,170 You're not my friend. 944 01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:09,086 Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America? 945 01:00:09,252 --> 01:00:13,098 - Yes! - Oh, God. Don't say that, Phil. 946 01:00:13,256 --> 01:00:14,599 Don't start crying, Alan. 947 01:00:14,758 --> 01:00:16,260 You're the bearded devil! 948 01:00:16,426 --> 01:00:19,555 You liked it. You smiled at me when I held up the marshmallows. 949 01:00:19,971 --> 01:00:23,601 Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho! 950 01:00:24,351 --> 01:00:27,571 Hey! Whoa, whoa, hold on! Stop! 951 01:00:27,729 --> 01:00:29,276 - Guys, guys. Enough. - Why? 952 01:00:29,439 --> 01:00:31,612 Why, Alan? Why? 953 01:00:32,067 --> 01:00:34,616 Because we're the three best friends, remember? 954 01:00:34,944 --> 01:00:36,446 Remember? 955 01:00:36,613 --> 01:00:39,787 Stu, that's enough. That's enough. 956 01:00:39,949 --> 01:00:41,417 Fuck. 957 01:00:42,994 --> 01:00:45,793 Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together. 958 01:00:51,461 --> 01:00:55,762 - Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh? 959 01:00:55,924 --> 01:00:59,804 "Lebua Hotel. Saturday, 6 p.m." Did you write that? 960 01:00:59,969 --> 01:01:01,391 No. 961 01:01:03,014 --> 01:01:05,062 Shit, that's in 20 minutes. 962 01:01:05,517 --> 01:01:07,394 What about England? Are we friends there? 963 01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:09,813 I told you, it was in the heat of the moment. 964 01:01:09,979 --> 01:01:12,983 We're still friends, all over the world. 965 01:01:13,149 --> 01:01:15,868 - Even Great Britain? - Yeah. Mm-hm. 966 01:01:17,821 --> 01:01:19,744 Well, what about you, Stu? 967 01:01:20,698 --> 01:01:22,291 We'll see. 968 01:01:23,910 --> 01:01:25,912 Gentlemen, follow me. 969 01:01:28,998 --> 01:01:30,045 All right. 970 01:01:40,135 --> 01:01:41,182 Here you go. 971 01:01:43,930 --> 01:01:45,307 Well. 972 01:01:46,224 --> 01:01:48,818 It's about time. Sit down. 973 01:01:48,977 --> 01:01:50,945 - Come on, sit, sit, sit. - Okay. 974 01:01:51,312 --> 01:01:53,440 Wow, you guys look like shit. 975 01:01:55,150 --> 01:01:58,780 - Uh, do we know you? - Hey. 976 01:01:58,945 --> 01:02:02,165 Take off your fucking hat. You're in a restaurant, for chrissake. 977 01:02:07,036 --> 01:02:09,880 Okay, listen. Uh, we have no clue what's going on here. 978 01:02:10,039 --> 01:02:14,169 You know, they sell a plum whiskey here. It's fucking unreal. 979 01:02:14,335 --> 01:02:17,179 Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up. 980 01:02:18,548 --> 01:02:21,552 Oh, I'm sorry, you guys already got fucked up, didn't you? 981 01:02:23,094 --> 01:02:26,018 Uh, listen. I'm a little confused. How did you...? 982 01:02:26,181 --> 01:02:28,730 Yeah, you know what? I'm a little fucking confused. 983 01:02:28,892 --> 01:02:29,893 Where's Chow? 984 01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:35,862 Where is Chow with the fucking account code and the fucking password? 985 01:02:41,237 --> 01:02:46,539 We don't know anything about any codes. We're just trying to find our friend. 986 01:02:49,412 --> 01:02:52,336 - Teddy. - Yes. Teddy. 987 01:02:52,499 --> 01:02:53,591 Have you seen him? 988 01:02:55,084 --> 01:02:56,586 Come here. 989 01:02:56,753 --> 01:03:00,007 Hmm. Let's see. Oh. 990 01:03:00,798 --> 01:03:01,924 There's Teddy. 991 01:03:03,259 --> 01:03:06,889 - Holy shit. It's from last night. - Hmm. 992 01:03:08,223 --> 01:03:09,850 Who are you? 993 01:03:10,016 --> 01:03:11,313 I'm a businessman... 994 01:03:11,476 --> 01:03:14,855 and I have invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow. 995 01:03:15,855 --> 01:03:19,530 And in return, he was supposed to transfer our profits electronically... 996 01:03:19,692 --> 01:03:23,037 about five fucking minutes ago. 997 01:03:23,905 --> 01:03:27,580 So last night, we took Teddy as insurance. 998 01:03:28,493 --> 01:03:30,916 Oh, my God. Is he okay? 999 01:03:31,329 --> 01:03:33,627 Oh, my God. I wasn't done talking. 1000 01:03:34,874 --> 01:03:36,717 You tell Chow... 1001 01:03:36,876 --> 01:03:41,552 that we are having breakfast on the roof of this hotel tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. 1002 01:03:41,714 --> 01:03:43,967 Now, if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy. 1003 01:03:44,133 --> 01:03:48,229 If not, well, then, hey, you know? It's Bangkok. 1004 01:03:50,431 --> 01:03:52,433 That's your cue to get the fuck out of here. 1005 01:03:59,274 --> 01:04:00,901 Hey, you know what? Leave the hat. 1006 01:04:02,819 --> 01:04:04,241 Alan, leave the hat. 1007 01:04:06,322 --> 01:04:07,995 Attaboy. 1008 01:04:17,834 --> 01:04:21,008 We're fucked. Chow's dead. What do we do now? 1009 01:04:21,170 --> 01:04:25,550 The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow. This whole thing's about a bank account. 1010 01:04:27,302 --> 01:04:29,680 Let's just go back to the hotel, Search Chow's body. 1011 01:04:29,846 --> 01:04:32,599 And hopefully the password's in his wallet or something. 1012 01:04:33,141 --> 01:04:35,519 - What if it isn't? - I mean, they're gonna kill Teddy. 1013 01:04:35,685 --> 01:04:40,282 Just relax. We have until 8 a.m. tomorrow to figure it out. 1014 01:04:42,984 --> 01:04:45,578 First the monkey, now my hat. 1015 01:04:45,862 --> 01:04:48,456 How much worse can this day get? 1016 01:04:51,868 --> 01:04:54,041 Jesus Christ. 1017 01:05:01,252 --> 01:05:05,849 Well, we're living here in Alantown. 1018 01:05:07,050 --> 01:05:11,556 And he's driven our lives into the ground. 1019 01:05:12,388 --> 01:05:16,438 When we woke up We were wasted and drunk 1020 01:05:16,601 --> 01:05:18,774 Phil got shot. 1021 01:05:18,936 --> 01:05:22,816 We got beaten by a monk 1022 01:05:24,859 --> 01:05:28,955 I was happy, and my life was good. 1023 01:05:30,073 --> 01:05:34,419 Getting married like a dentist should. 1024 01:05:34,577 --> 01:05:38,548 Roasting marshmallows on a stick 1025 01:05:38,706 --> 01:05:41,585 I got fucked in the ass. 1026 01:05:41,751 --> 01:05:44,470 By a girl with a dick 1027 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,133 I remember that. 1028 01:05:50,385 --> 01:05:54,686 And we're living here in Alantown. 1029 01:05:57,016 --> 01:05:59,018 There's water everywhere. 1030 01:05:59,394 --> 01:06:02,193 Yeah, that's because it melted, Stu. The fucking power's out. 1031 01:06:02,355 --> 01:06:05,359 "With an inadequate electrical grid serving millions of people... 1032 01:06:05,525 --> 01:06:08,449 Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1033 01:06:08,611 --> 01:06:10,454 Seriously, Alan, that's enough. 1034 01:06:10,947 --> 01:06:12,665 Out of the way. 1035 01:06:18,955 --> 01:06:20,423 We got it. 1036 01:06:22,542 --> 01:06:24,465 Ghost! There's a ghost! 1037 01:06:25,628 --> 01:06:27,801 Motherfucker! 1038 01:06:28,339 --> 01:06:31,764 Chow, calm down! Chow, calm down! 1039 01:06:31,968 --> 01:06:34,721 - Fucking kill on me! - No, no, no. Ah. 1040 01:06:37,557 --> 01:06:39,309 It's okay. 1041 01:06:40,101 --> 01:06:41,148 Relax. 1042 01:06:43,938 --> 01:06:46,236 Shh. Shh. 1043 01:06:49,819 --> 01:06:53,665 That's it. It's just us. Breathe. 1044 01:06:53,823 --> 01:06:56,076 - Chow so cold. - I'm gonna warm you up. 1045 01:06:56,242 --> 01:06:58,836 Chow so cold. Chow so cold. 1046 01:06:58,995 --> 01:07:01,339 You did good, buddy. You did good. 1047 01:07:01,497 --> 01:07:02,749 Chow did good. 1048 01:07:08,254 --> 01:07:09,927 Feeling better? 1049 01:07:10,673 --> 01:07:12,300 You all right? You warm enough? 1050 01:07:12,717 --> 01:07:15,391 I don't know. Come feel my balls and tell me. 1051 01:07:15,553 --> 01:07:19,183 I've been locked in a fucking ice box all day. 1052 01:07:19,432 --> 01:07:23,027 Hey, Alan, you want my awesome sunglasses, you just ask Chow. 1053 01:07:23,186 --> 01:07:24,859 You don't have to kill me. 1054 01:07:25,021 --> 01:07:28,992 Chow, nobody killed you. You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse. 1055 01:07:29,150 --> 01:07:30,902 Oh, you never do blow before? 1056 01:07:31,068 --> 01:07:34,447 Sometime your heart stop, start up again. Read a book. 1057 01:07:35,031 --> 01:07:36,874 Look, I'm sorry. We're just having a bad day. 1058 01:07:37,033 --> 01:07:40,378 Oh, you having a bad day? Did you die? 1059 01:07:41,245 --> 01:07:42,371 I got shot. 1060 01:07:42,538 --> 01:07:44,040 But did you die? 1061 01:07:44,207 --> 01:07:48,257 Chow, some guy told us that you've got a bank code or something... 1062 01:07:48,419 --> 01:07:52,970 and if we don't bring it to him first thing in the morning, he's gonna kill Teddy. 1063 01:07:53,132 --> 01:07:56,056 Who, Kingsley? Pfft. He harmless. 1064 01:07:56,219 --> 01:07:59,644 Don't worry. I got the bank codes. 1065 01:08:00,389 --> 01:08:03,313 Great. All right, we gotta meet him at 8 a.m. 1066 01:08:03,476 --> 01:08:05,194 Who is that fucking guy, anyway? 1067 01:08:05,353 --> 01:08:06,900 Invest in my business. 1068 01:08:07,355 --> 01:08:08,777 Yeah? What business is that? 1069 01:08:08,940 --> 01:08:12,114 It's called Not Your Business, okay? 1070 01:08:12,568 --> 01:08:14,411 So where's the monkey? 1071 01:08:14,862 --> 01:08:16,079 - The monkey? - Yeah. 1072 01:08:16,239 --> 01:08:20,585 I stashed the account number and password in his vest. Where is he? 1073 01:08:22,578 --> 01:08:26,048 - Why would you do that? - Safekeeping, pretty boy. 1074 01:08:26,207 --> 01:08:28,255 I got a lot of heat on my ass. 1075 01:08:28,417 --> 01:08:33,514 I got FBI, Bangkok P.D., Interpol, MSNBC. 1076 01:08:34,131 --> 01:08:36,259 That monkey snorting coke with me all night... 1077 01:08:36,425 --> 01:08:38,974 jerking me off while I watch Stu fuck with ladyboy. 1078 01:08:39,554 --> 01:08:41,556 - Ugh. - He not going anywhere. 1079 01:08:41,722 --> 01:08:43,269 We don't have the monkey, Chow. 1080 01:08:43,432 --> 01:08:46,231 No, some Russian thugs took him from us. 1081 01:08:46,394 --> 01:08:48,271 Oh, you fucking guys. 1082 01:08:49,272 --> 01:08:51,195 Okay, no problem. 1083 01:08:51,357 --> 01:08:53,405 We just have to get him back. 1084 01:08:53,860 --> 01:08:56,454 - From where? - Same place we took him from. 1085 01:09:17,967 --> 01:09:20,220 This monkey isn't just normal monkey. 1086 01:09:33,316 --> 01:09:36,661 Think of him like monkey drug mule. 1087 01:09:37,695 --> 01:09:40,619 He take coke to buyer... 1088 01:09:43,075 --> 01:09:44,622 and deliver cash to dealer. 1089 01:09:45,494 --> 01:09:47,417 He middleman. 1090 01:09:47,580 --> 01:09:50,424 Dealer never handle drug directly. 1091 01:09:50,583 --> 01:09:51,755 He clean. 1092 01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:55,137 That's terrible. 1093 01:09:55,296 --> 01:09:58,516 Not terrible. What you talking about? It's fucking genius. 1094 01:09:58,674 --> 01:10:01,393 You ever see monkey go to jail? 1095 01:10:02,428 --> 01:10:04,806 We just signal monkey for deal, he come close... 1096 01:10:04,972 --> 01:10:07,475 we take his vest and that's that. 1097 01:10:07,642 --> 01:10:10,020 Maybe get some blow too. You know, just bump. 1098 01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:11,608 No. No more bumps, Chow. 1099 01:10:14,148 --> 01:10:16,025 Okay, this is ridiculous. 1100 01:10:18,402 --> 01:10:20,700 Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Signal monkey. 1101 01:10:33,292 --> 01:10:35,886 - All right, here we go. - Come on. 1102 01:10:40,841 --> 01:10:42,843 How'd we wind up with the monkey last night? 1103 01:10:43,010 --> 01:10:47,060 Well, I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute, so we stole him. 1104 01:10:59,443 --> 01:11:00,820 So stupid. 1105 01:11:00,987 --> 01:11:02,330 Stu, ready to grab vest? 1106 01:11:02,655 --> 01:11:05,704 I... Okay. I just grab it? 1107 01:11:05,866 --> 01:11:08,494 - Yeah, just do it, Stu. Just do it. - Hey, monkey! 1108 01:11:08,661 --> 01:11:10,379 - Alan, shh. - Hi. 1109 01:11:13,499 --> 01:11:15,922 - Fuck! - We gotta go right now. 1110 01:11:17,586 --> 01:11:19,054 Pull that fucking monkey in! 1111 01:11:19,213 --> 01:11:20,385 I'm trying! 1112 01:11:24,343 --> 01:11:26,095 Aah! Fuck! 1113 01:11:29,932 --> 01:11:31,434 Get that monkey in here, Stu! 1114 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,853 He won't let go! 1115 01:11:34,103 --> 01:11:35,901 Stu, get back in the car right now! 1116 01:11:36,856 --> 01:11:39,860 I'm trying! Slow down! 1117 01:11:45,364 --> 01:11:47,082 He's so strong! 1118 01:11:50,369 --> 01:11:52,246 Let go, you fucking monkey! 1119 01:11:53,789 --> 01:11:55,291 - Look out! - Aah! 1120 01:11:55,458 --> 01:11:57,131 Oh, shit. Tight squeeze. 1121 01:11:59,462 --> 01:12:02,591 I got him! I got him! 1122 01:12:04,842 --> 01:12:07,436 - Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest. 1123 01:12:11,265 --> 01:12:13,233 - You got it, Alan? - Yeah, I got it, Phil. 1124 01:12:13,392 --> 01:12:16,612 - Slow down, slow down, Chow! - Hold on, gay boys! 1125 01:12:20,483 --> 01:12:22,406 - Holy shit! - Fuck. 1126 01:12:23,778 --> 01:12:25,496 Don't worry, I got this shit. 1127 01:12:27,990 --> 01:12:29,537 Pig! 1128 01:12:33,412 --> 01:12:34,459 Oh, my word! 1129 01:12:34,622 --> 01:12:36,499 Ha, ha. Sorry, Stu. My bad. 1130 01:12:42,421 --> 01:12:43,513 Oh, shit. 1131 01:12:45,007 --> 01:12:46,179 Get down! 1132 01:12:46,342 --> 01:12:47,639 What the fuck? 1133 01:12:49,095 --> 01:12:51,689 Oh, no! They shot the monkey! 1134 01:12:52,556 --> 01:12:54,524 They shot the monkey! 1135 01:12:54,683 --> 01:12:56,276 I'm at my wits' end! 1136 01:12:59,188 --> 01:13:00,986 He's coming back around. 1137 01:13:02,024 --> 01:13:03,071 Look out! 1138 01:13:07,196 --> 01:13:09,494 - Holy fuck. - Oh, no. 1139 01:13:29,260 --> 01:13:31,479 - Everybody all right? - Yeah. 1140 01:13:31,637 --> 01:13:35,642 Whoo! I have such an erection right now. 1141 01:13:39,603 --> 01:13:41,571 Are you for real? 1142 01:13:45,693 --> 01:13:46,819 Shh. 1143 01:13:46,986 --> 01:13:50,411 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 1144 01:13:52,324 --> 01:13:53,997 It's okay. 1145 01:13:55,744 --> 01:13:58,167 They're gonna take good care of you here, okay? 1146 01:14:00,583 --> 01:14:01,630 What's that? 1147 01:14:04,420 --> 01:14:06,172 Oh, yeah. Of course. 1148 01:14:06,338 --> 01:14:09,091 Cigarettes, got them right here. Here you go. 1149 01:14:13,554 --> 01:14:14,931 There you go. 1150 01:14:17,933 --> 01:14:20,231 Deep breath. 1151 01:14:20,394 --> 01:14:22,112 Good. Good. 1152 01:14:22,271 --> 01:14:24,774 Smoke it in. 1153 01:14:24,940 --> 01:14:27,443 Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. 1154 01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:28,953 There you go. 1155 01:14:29,528 --> 01:14:32,247 It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker... 1156 01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:35,710 but, boy, does it look cool on you. 1157 01:14:35,868 --> 01:14:38,371 Alan! Come on, let's go! 1158 01:14:41,832 --> 01:14:43,550 I'm gonna miss you, monkey. 1159 01:14:46,587 --> 01:14:48,965 I wish monkeys could Skype. 1160 01:14:50,633 --> 01:14:52,135 Maybe one day. 1161 01:15:00,935 --> 01:15:02,608 - Come on, get in. - Scoot over. 1162 01:15:02,770 --> 01:15:05,740 - Oh, we gotta go see Kingsley. - He's gonna be fine. 1163 01:15:21,121 --> 01:15:24,091 If I could save time in a bottle. 1164 01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:29,005 The First thing that I'd like to do. 1165 01:15:30,005 --> 01:15:32,383 Is to save every day. 1166 01:15:32,841 --> 01:15:36,266 Till eternity passes away. 1167 01:15:36,470 --> 01:15:38,347 Just to spend them with you. 1168 01:15:38,555 --> 01:15:40,398 Are you guys seriously this calm? 1169 01:15:40,557 --> 01:15:43,310 Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo. 1170 01:15:43,477 --> 01:15:45,605 I give him money, he gives us Teddy. 1171 01:15:45,771 --> 01:15:48,149 Ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff? 1172 01:15:48,315 --> 01:15:51,569 I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this. 1173 01:15:51,735 --> 01:15:53,453 I met my wife at one of these things. 1174 01:15:54,863 --> 01:15:56,206 You have a wife? 1175 01:15:56,365 --> 01:15:58,663 Yeah. We married 15 years. 1176 01:15:58,826 --> 01:16:01,955 What, Chow not good-looking enough for woman? 1177 01:16:02,621 --> 01:16:03,793 No, that's cool. 1178 01:16:06,083 --> 01:16:07,926 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Tower Club. 1179 01:16:08,085 --> 01:16:10,759 Blah, blah, blah. Who cares? 1180 01:16:11,171 --> 01:16:14,345 - It's okay. - Stop. Chow crossing. 1181 01:16:18,012 --> 01:16:19,389 Hey, Kingsley. 1182 01:16:19,555 --> 01:16:21,808 - Well, well. - Propecia looking nice. 1183 01:16:23,225 --> 01:16:24,727 Whew, you been hitting the gym? 1184 01:16:25,227 --> 01:16:28,401 Yes, I am, actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow. 1185 01:16:28,564 --> 01:16:30,942 Hey, guys, have a seat. 1186 01:16:31,317 --> 01:16:32,409 Where's Teddy? 1187 01:16:32,568 --> 01:16:35,242 He's waiting downstairs in my car. We'll send him up... 1188 01:16:35,404 --> 01:16:37,907 when the transfer is complete. 1189 01:16:38,073 --> 01:16:42,419 Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy. And I throw in this other fat fuck for free. 1190 01:16:44,038 --> 01:16:45,255 Oh, jeez. Chow. 1191 01:16:46,165 --> 01:16:47,508 Can we move this along? 1192 01:16:48,042 --> 01:16:50,386 Alan, account number? 1193 01:16:51,128 --> 01:16:52,471 Come On, Come On, Come On. 1194 01:16:52,629 --> 01:16:56,884 Uh, eight-one-four... 1195 01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,637 K, as in "knife"... 1196 01:16:59,803 --> 01:17:02,522 two-three-nine-eight. 1197 01:17:03,932 --> 01:17:05,104 Password? 1198 01:17:05,267 --> 01:17:06,610 "Baloney1." 1199 01:17:07,353 --> 01:17:08,650 Your password is "baloney1"? 1200 01:17:08,812 --> 01:17:11,736 It used to be just "baloney." Now they make you add number. 1201 01:17:12,232 --> 01:17:15,611 Really fucking annoying. Okay. 1202 01:17:25,412 --> 01:17:27,039 - And it's that easy. Ta-da. 1203 01:17:28,415 --> 01:17:30,042 Oh, look, you sunk my battleship. 1204 01:17:31,794 --> 01:17:33,592 Great. Now can we please have Teddy? 1205 01:17:34,463 --> 01:17:37,262 Uh, yeah. Bring him up. 1206 01:17:37,925 --> 01:17:38,972 Good to go. 1207 01:17:39,134 --> 01:17:43,139 Ha, ha. See? We go to your wedding, we have fun, I bust a nut. 1208 01:17:43,305 --> 01:17:46,309 We did it, Stu. It's over. 1209 01:17:55,067 --> 01:17:57,786 - This is Bangkok Police. - Everybody down. 1210 01:18:01,156 --> 01:18:04,160 No! Kingsley, you're fucking 5-0? 1211 01:18:04,535 --> 01:18:05,832 Gotcha, Leslie. 1212 01:18:05,994 --> 01:18:07,166 Get him out of here. 1213 01:18:07,329 --> 01:18:08,751 Go. Good, good! We're good! 1214 01:18:14,002 --> 01:18:15,925 How the fuck...? 1215 01:18:16,088 --> 01:18:17,681 Samir? 1216 01:18:18,132 --> 01:18:22,012 You fucked me over 6 grand? You camel jockey. 1217 01:18:23,011 --> 01:18:24,263 You spit to me? 1218 01:18:24,596 --> 01:18:26,189 You spit to me? 1219 01:18:26,348 --> 01:18:28,521 Hey, 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time. 1220 01:18:28,684 --> 01:18:30,812 It's not the money, man. It's the principle. 1221 01:18:30,978 --> 01:18:33,857 Principle? Nigga, please. We both dead inside. 1222 01:18:34,022 --> 01:18:36,024 You call me nigga? Huh? Don't call me nigga. 1223 01:18:36,191 --> 01:18:39,365 - Toodleoo, motherfucker! - Called me nigga. Racist asshole, man. 1224 01:18:41,029 --> 01:18:43,498 - You guys okay? - What the fuck's going on? 1225 01:18:43,657 --> 01:18:45,534 Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol. 1226 01:18:45,701 --> 01:18:47,374 - You're a cop? - Yes. 1227 01:18:47,536 --> 01:18:49,959 This sting operation's been in place for weeks. 1228 01:18:50,122 --> 01:18:53,342 When Samir told us that your friend was lost... 1229 01:18:53,709 --> 01:18:55,336 we took advantage of that information. 1230 01:18:55,794 --> 01:18:58,388 - I'm sorry. - Oh, no. 1231 01:18:58,547 --> 01:19:02,347 - So can Teddy come out of the car now? - No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fucking car. 1232 01:19:02,509 --> 01:19:05,012 They don't have him. They never had him. 1233 01:19:05,179 --> 01:19:07,398 They just needed us to bring them Chow. 1234 01:19:07,764 --> 01:19:09,482 They used Teddy as bait. 1235 01:19:10,851 --> 01:19:12,353 Do you have any leads at all? 1236 01:19:12,519 --> 01:19:16,240 No. We've checked everywhere, no one has seen him. I'm sorry. 1237 01:19:16,940 --> 01:19:19,409 If you haven't found him by now... 1238 01:19:19,776 --> 01:19:22,325 I'm afraid Bangkok has him. 1239 01:19:26,617 --> 01:19:29,496 Why do people keep saying that? 1240 01:19:31,538 --> 01:19:33,040 Stu... 1241 01:19:33,916 --> 01:19:35,634 it's time. 1242 01:19:40,506 --> 01:19:41,883 Phil. 1243 01:19:42,841 --> 01:19:43,888 I'm sorry. 1244 01:19:45,260 --> 01:19:47,388 Don't say that. Please. 1245 01:19:47,554 --> 01:19:49,648 No, this time we really fucked up. 1246 01:19:49,806 --> 01:19:51,729 Oh, God. How bad? 1247 01:19:51,892 --> 01:19:53,769 Like no wedding bad? 1248 01:19:53,936 --> 01:19:55,438 Yeah. 1249 01:19:55,938 --> 01:19:58,157 Little worse than that. 1250 01:20:02,611 --> 01:20:04,409 I don't know what to tell you. 1251 01:20:24,258 --> 01:20:25,976 Okay, how about this? 1252 01:20:26,134 --> 01:20:28,102 He fell off the fishing boat and drowned. 1253 01:20:29,763 --> 01:20:30,889 No. 1254 01:20:32,307 --> 01:20:33,809 Okay, I got it. 1255 01:20:33,976 --> 01:20:36,104 Teddy was hit by a truck. 1256 01:20:36,562 --> 01:20:39,281 - Alan. - Not a good time, Phil. Kind of busy. 1257 01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:41,282 How many people get run over here? 1258 01:20:41,441 --> 01:20:43,739 Ugh. Over 1200 a year, Phil. 1259 01:20:43,902 --> 01:20:46,997 Perfect. His body was too mangled to recover. 1260 01:20:47,155 --> 01:20:48,281 Case closed. 1261 01:20:50,033 --> 01:20:51,660 Can I have more ice, please? 1262 01:20:52,828 --> 01:20:54,296 I'm not gonna lie to Lauren. 1263 01:20:54,454 --> 01:20:57,628 Stu, do you want this or not? 1264 01:20:57,958 --> 01:21:00,461 Look at what I've done, Phil. 1265 01:21:00,794 --> 01:21:02,888 What I do. 1266 01:21:05,299 --> 01:21:08,018 I have a weakness for prostitutes. 1267 01:21:08,385 --> 01:21:10,103 All kinds, apparently. 1268 01:21:14,975 --> 01:21:17,444 I have a demon in me. 1269 01:21:18,437 --> 01:21:19,984 So what? 1270 01:21:20,606 --> 01:21:25,954 Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren. I'll just let her live her life without me. 1271 01:21:26,111 --> 01:21:27,158 Stu. 1272 01:21:27,321 --> 01:21:30,621 I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back. 1273 01:21:31,074 --> 01:21:33,497 I'm getting off the hamster wheel. 1274 01:21:34,536 --> 01:21:36,789 I'm gonna stay here in Bangkok. 1275 01:21:36,955 --> 01:21:39,083 I think I belong here. 1276 01:21:39,249 --> 01:21:41,923 Open up a little dentist office. 1277 01:21:42,794 --> 01:21:44,796 Teeth cleanings with a happy ending. 1278 01:21:49,217 --> 01:21:51,015 You sure about this? 1279 01:21:58,185 --> 01:22:00,483 Hey! What the crud? 1280 01:22:02,147 --> 01:22:03,239 Power's out, Alan. 1281 01:22:07,861 --> 01:22:09,488 - Phil. - Doug. 1282 01:22:09,655 --> 01:22:10,907 I need answers, man. 1283 01:22:11,073 --> 01:22:13,576 - I know, um ... - Doug, who are you talking to? 1284 01:22:13,742 --> 01:22:15,870 - Give me the phone. - No, that's a private... 1285 01:22:16,036 --> 01:22:17,754 - Who is this? - Lauren? 1286 01:22:17,913 --> 01:22:20,587 Phil? Tell me what's going on right now. 1287 01:22:21,249 --> 01:22:22,842 We lost your little brother. 1288 01:22:23,293 --> 01:22:24,340 What? 1289 01:22:24,503 --> 01:22:26,926 Bangkok has him now. 1290 01:22:33,970 --> 01:22:35,768 We gotta take the stairs. 1291 01:22:35,931 --> 01:22:37,399 You're in Bangkok? 1292 01:22:41,186 --> 01:22:44,611 Ew! That's a finger! 1293 01:22:44,773 --> 01:22:46,116 Put Stu on the phone. 1294 01:22:47,109 --> 01:22:50,579 "Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1295 01:22:50,737 --> 01:22:52,831 Stu really just doesn't wanna talk to anybody. 1296 01:22:53,657 --> 01:22:54,874 Water. Power's out. 1297 01:22:55,033 --> 01:22:57,957 - Come on, Stewie. - Use that big Jewish brain. 1298 01:22:58,120 --> 01:23:00,373 He's just not up for it ... 1299 01:23:00,539 --> 01:23:02,962 Phil? Phil. Phil, give me the phone. It's Lauren. 1300 01:23:03,125 --> 01:23:07,221 - I know. I need to talk to her. - I'm handling this. I'll handle this, Stu! 1301 01:23:07,379 --> 01:23:10,098 - You're gonna break her heart! - Hey, sweetheart, it's me. 1302 01:23:10,257 --> 01:23:11,304 I'm so sorry! 1303 01:23:11,466 --> 01:23:15,061 Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he mean, you lost Teddy? 1304 01:23:15,220 --> 01:23:17,268 What? Is that what Phil said? 1305 01:23:17,431 --> 01:23:20,059 No, no, no. We misplaced Teddy. 1306 01:23:20,225 --> 01:23:23,525 But we're all good now. We're headed back to the resort. See you soon. 1307 01:23:24,479 --> 01:23:25,981 I love you so much. 1308 01:23:26,148 --> 01:23:30,073 And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye. 1309 01:23:32,654 --> 01:23:34,156 Stu! 1310 01:23:37,033 --> 01:23:38,455 Ah! 1311 01:23:40,162 --> 01:23:42,585 Taxi! Taxi! 1312 01:23:42,748 --> 01:23:46,173 Come on! Come on, Alan! Come on! 1313 01:23:47,586 --> 01:23:49,714 - Hey, you mind filling us in? - Okay. 1314 01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:52,133 - Now, when we woke up, the power was out. - Yeah. 1315 01:23:52,299 --> 01:23:54,176 And you found Teddy's finger in what? 1316 01:23:54,843 --> 01:23:58,017 - In a bowl of water. - But it didn't start out as water. 1317 01:23:58,180 --> 01:24:00,774 - It was ice. - Exactly. Teddy got ice from the machine... 1318 01:24:00,932 --> 01:24:03,731 came back to the room, put his finger on ice, fell asleep. 1319 01:24:03,894 --> 01:24:07,273 What do you do if you wake up and your finger's in a bowl of melted ice? 1320 01:24:07,439 --> 01:24:11,194 I'd get more ice, Stu, on the 15th fucking floor! 1321 01:24:11,359 --> 01:24:14,454 Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out ... 1322 01:24:14,613 --> 01:24:17,742 Holy shit. Of course. 1323 01:24:17,908 --> 01:24:19,660 Of course, he's in the ice machine. 1324 01:24:19,826 --> 01:24:21,874 Alan, no! 1325 01:24:25,332 --> 01:24:26,800 It's on 10! 1326 01:24:26,958 --> 01:24:28,210 Sir, is the elevator stuck? 1327 01:24:29,795 --> 01:24:32,218 Go. Go, go, go. 1328 01:24:35,300 --> 01:24:36,722 Ten! This is it! Teddy! 1329 01:24:36,885 --> 01:24:38,137 Teddy! Teddy! 1330 01:24:38,303 --> 01:24:40,226 Look out, look out. 1331 01:24:47,103 --> 01:24:51,074 - Oh, my God! Teddy! - He's okay! He's okay! 1332 01:24:51,233 --> 01:24:52,576 Hey, you okay? 1333 01:24:53,193 --> 01:24:54,911 You okay, man? 1334 01:24:55,070 --> 01:24:56,071 Where am I? 1335 01:24:56,238 --> 01:24:58,411 You're in an elevator in the middle of Bangkok. 1336 01:24:58,573 --> 01:25:00,917 But we're gonna get you out of here. It's gonna be fine. 1337 01:25:01,076 --> 01:25:02,498 Hey, Stu... 1338 01:25:02,744 --> 01:25:04,542 nice tattoo. 1339 01:25:06,373 --> 01:25:08,546 - Thanks, man. - All right, let's do this. 1340 01:25:08,708 --> 01:25:10,176 Come on. Come on, come on. 1341 01:25:10,335 --> 01:25:13,088 Doug, we found him. Yeah! 1342 01:25:13,255 --> 01:25:16,930 I know, I know, but we're on our way. Okay, bye. 1343 01:25:17,092 --> 01:25:20,437 All right, guests are arriving, people are starting to ask questions... 1344 01:25:20,595 --> 01:25:22,597 but we can still pull this off. 1345 01:25:22,764 --> 01:25:25,017 - How? - I don't know. Like, a taxi? 1346 01:25:25,183 --> 01:25:26,856 - Chow's speedboat. - What? 1347 01:25:27,018 --> 01:25:29,567 Last thing I remember was getting off Chow's speedboat. 1348 01:25:29,729 --> 01:25:31,527 Chow has a speedboat? 1349 01:25:31,690 --> 01:25:33,658 The Perfect Life. 1350 01:25:34,234 --> 01:25:35,281 Come on. 1351 01:25:39,155 --> 01:25:41,374 Stu, get that back line. 1352 01:25:42,993 --> 01:25:44,836 Good jump, Phil! 1353 01:25:46,872 --> 01:25:48,749 Yeah. 1354 01:25:49,124 --> 01:25:50,717 You sure you know how to drive this thing? 1355 01:25:52,210 --> 01:25:54,508 Please. I was raised in yacht clubs. I know what I'm doing. 1356 01:26:17,819 --> 01:26:19,821 You know where we're going? 1357 01:26:20,488 --> 01:26:22,331 Please address me as "captain." 1358 01:26:22,490 --> 01:26:24,993 Oh, fuck you, Alan. 1359 01:26:25,952 --> 01:26:29,798 Do you know where We're going, captain? 1360 01:26:30,415 --> 01:26:35,296 Affirmative, cadet. We're going south, through the Gulf of Thailand. Ha, ha. 1361 01:26:35,462 --> 01:26:36,634 Good. 1362 01:26:57,901 --> 01:27:01,201 Hey. You okay? 1363 01:27:02,113 --> 01:27:04,366 - Feeling a little better. - All right. 1364 01:27:05,867 --> 01:27:10,338 Listen, Teddy, I'm really sorry. We didn't mean for any of this to happen. 1365 01:27:11,373 --> 01:27:15,253 It's funny. I can't remember anything... 1366 01:27:15,418 --> 01:27:18,547 but when I woke up... 1367 01:27:18,964 --> 01:27:20,637 I was kind of happy. 1368 01:27:21,508 --> 01:27:22,680 Yeah! 1369 01:27:24,511 --> 01:27:27,890 By the way, you have any idea where my finger is? 1370 01:27:28,056 --> 01:27:31,401 Yeah, we gave it to a drug-dealing monkey. 1371 01:27:34,396 --> 01:27:35,773 Bangkok. 1372 01:27:36,231 --> 01:27:38,074 Yeah, right? 1373 01:27:38,233 --> 01:27:40,031 Fucking Bangkok. 1374 01:27:47,200 --> 01:27:50,249 He's on his way, I'm telling you. Dad's always doing this. 1375 01:27:50,578 --> 01:27:52,251 No, it's just ... 1376 01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:55,792 I apologize! There will be no wedding! 1377 01:27:55,959 --> 01:27:58,382 No, he is on his way. He will be here. 1378 01:27:58,545 --> 01:28:01,173 Please, if you will all move to the bar. 1379 01:28:01,339 --> 01:28:03,592 We are going to clear this area. Please. 1380 01:28:05,093 --> 01:28:06,891 Daddy, how can you do this? 1381 01:28:07,387 --> 01:28:10,015 I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming. 1382 01:28:12,058 --> 01:28:13,776 You don't understand. 1383 01:28:13,935 --> 01:28:16,404 Look. There they are. 1384 01:28:20,358 --> 01:28:22,031 Stu! 1385 01:28:27,782 --> 01:28:29,409 Alan, there's no dock. 1386 01:28:29,576 --> 01:28:30,623 Just hang on. 1387 01:28:30,785 --> 01:28:33,038 - Alan, it's not funny. Turn the boat. - Hang on. 1388 01:28:33,204 --> 01:28:34,877 Is that Alan driving the boat? 1389 01:28:35,040 --> 01:28:36,633 What? Uh ... 1390 01:28:36,791 --> 01:28:40,045 We should probably move back a little bit. Come on. 1391 01:28:40,211 --> 01:28:41,588 - Alan, slow down! - Please! 1392 01:28:41,755 --> 01:28:44,554 Turn the boat! Turn the boat, Alan! Turn the fucking boat! 1393 01:28:44,716 --> 01:28:46,389 Everyone, back up a little bit here. 1394 01:28:46,551 --> 01:28:49,896 Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Come on, sir. 1395 01:28:50,055 --> 01:28:51,147 Hold on! Hold on! 1396 01:29:00,982 --> 01:29:01,983 Fuck! 1397 01:29:05,695 --> 01:29:06,742 Hi. 1398 01:29:06,905 --> 01:29:08,748 Hi, everybody. 1399 01:29:10,241 --> 01:29:12,494 We came in a little hotter than we planned. 1400 01:29:12,869 --> 01:29:14,837 And sorry we trenched the lawn here. 1401 01:29:15,747 --> 01:29:17,841 Totally fixable. A bit of sod, we'll be fine. 1402 01:29:17,999 --> 01:29:19,342 - Baby! - Oh, my God. 1403 01:29:19,501 --> 01:29:22,596 - Hi. - Ah, I'm so happy to see you. 1404 01:29:23,505 --> 01:29:25,007 Teddy. 1405 01:29:25,507 --> 01:29:26,929 Teddy, here. 1406 01:29:27,092 --> 01:29:29,186 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, Teddy. 1407 01:29:29,344 --> 01:29:32,439 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm okay. 1408 01:29:32,597 --> 01:29:34,099 No! Your hand! 1409 01:29:34,516 --> 01:29:38,191 I know. We had an accident. I'm okay. 1410 01:29:39,771 --> 01:29:41,819 - This is your fault. - No, Dad. 1411 01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:43,858 He's right. Mr. Srisai, Lauren. 1412 01:29:44,025 --> 01:29:46,278 - I haven't been completely honest with you. - Stu? 1413 01:29:46,444 --> 01:29:47,491 - Yeah? - Don't do this. 1414 01:29:47,654 --> 01:29:49,952 Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it. 1415 01:29:50,490 --> 01:29:52,788 You said I'm chok. 1416 01:29:52,951 --> 01:29:55,329 Well, I'm not. 1417 01:29:55,495 --> 01:30:00,217 I'm not some weird milky, ricey, watery goop... 1418 01:30:00,375 --> 01:30:03,003 that you feed to infants and old people, okay? 1419 01:30:03,169 --> 01:30:06,639 Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper. 1420 01:30:09,801 --> 01:30:13,601 I wish I was a boring dentist who had a boring life and boring friends... 1421 01:30:13,763 --> 01:30:16,232 but I don't, I'm not. 1422 01:30:16,474 --> 01:30:18,852 I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack. 1423 01:30:19,018 --> 01:30:22,488 Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee... 1424 01:30:22,647 --> 01:30:24,900 I have heard enough of this. You come here. 1425 01:30:25,066 --> 01:30:26,613 Whoa. 1426 01:30:27,777 --> 01:30:29,245 Here's the deal, man. 1427 01:30:29,904 --> 01:30:32,327 I got a dark side. 1428 01:30:34,075 --> 01:30:36,203 There's a demon in me. 1429 01:30:36,703 --> 01:30:38,250 It's true, he has semen in him. 1430 01:30:39,414 --> 01:30:41,212 I said "demon." 1431 01:30:41,374 --> 01:30:43,251 But you also have semen in you. Remember? 1432 01:30:43,418 --> 01:30:46,171 That's not relevant, but thank you, Alan. 1433 01:30:47,839 --> 01:30:48,886 Point is... 1434 01:30:49,048 --> 01:30:53,599 this demon takes me to some pretty weird places. 1435 01:30:53,761 --> 01:30:57,015 And we lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok. 1436 01:30:57,599 --> 01:31:01,445 But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him. 1437 01:31:01,603 --> 01:31:04,106 We took on Bangkok and we won. 1438 01:31:04,272 --> 01:31:08,618 And that's pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Right? 1439 01:31:12,030 --> 01:31:15,660 I love your daughter and I'm gonna marry her... 1440 01:31:15,825 --> 01:31:17,919 unless you have any problem with that. 1441 01:31:18,077 --> 01:31:19,374 - I'm good. - All right. 1442 01:31:20,496 --> 01:31:23,045 But all that said... 1443 01:31:23,208 --> 01:31:26,007 it would actually mean a great deal to both of us... 1444 01:31:26,169 --> 01:31:29,548 if we could just get your motherfucking blessing. 1445 01:31:45,647 --> 01:31:47,445 Hey, Alan. 1446 01:31:48,441 --> 01:31:50,114 Your head looks pretty cool shaved. 1447 01:31:51,236 --> 01:31:52,408 Thanks, Phil. 1448 01:31:53,071 --> 01:31:54,664 You should shave your head too. 1449 01:31:55,073 --> 01:31:56,370 Why would I do that? 1450 01:31:56,532 --> 01:31:59,160 Well, that way, we would look exactly alike. 1451 01:32:10,296 --> 01:32:11,923 Take good care of my daughter, Stu. 1452 01:32:12,507 --> 01:32:15,556 - I will. - Thank you. 1453 01:32:22,016 --> 01:32:24,519 I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat. 1454 01:32:24,686 --> 01:32:26,780 Just happy you're here. 1455 01:32:29,357 --> 01:32:33,112 Don't worry about the tattoo. I'll have it lasered as soon as we're home in L.A. 1456 01:32:33,278 --> 01:32:34,871 It's okay. I can get used to it. 1457 01:32:36,281 --> 01:32:37,703 Really? 1458 01:32:40,451 --> 01:32:43,625 - But for now, let's switch sides? - Yeah, okay. 1459 01:32:43,788 --> 01:32:45,540 Thank you. 1460 01:32:46,374 --> 01:32:48,001 Much better. 1461 01:32:49,252 --> 01:32:51,721 Dear family and friends... 1462 01:32:51,879 --> 01:32:53,552 on behalf of Stu and Lauren... 1463 01:32:53,715 --> 01:32:57,390 I welcome all of you for this marriage celebration. 1464 01:32:57,885 --> 01:33:01,685 We are here today to encourage, celebrate ... 1465 01:33:36,966 --> 01:33:38,218 I walk along the avenue 1466 01:33:39,427 --> 01:33:43,398 I never thought I'd meet a girl like you. 1467 01:33:44,015 --> 01:33:46,359 Meet a girl like you. 1468 01:33:48,144 --> 01:33:53,241 And I ran Iran so far away 1469 01:33:53,816 --> 01:33:55,910 I couldn't get away. 1470 01:33:56,444 --> 01:33:58,947 Thanks, buddy. Can you hold on for a second? 1471 01:33:59,113 --> 01:34:00,535 Thank you. Ahem. 1472 01:34:08,247 --> 01:34:11,126 Hello? Hi, everyone. 1473 01:34:12,126 --> 01:34:14,470 I'm, uh... My name's Alan Garner. 1474 01:34:14,629 --> 01:34:20,932 Um, I want to thank the Asiatic people for allowing us in your land. 1475 01:34:22,637 --> 01:34:26,767 I wanted to, um, say that, um, I'm really happy to be here... 1476 01:34:26,933 --> 01:34:30,983 and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu. 1477 01:34:31,354 --> 01:34:35,450 Um, and a lot of thought have gone into this... 1478 01:34:35,608 --> 01:34:39,784 and I hope that you appreciate it as much I di... Are going to. 1479 01:34:39,946 --> 01:34:40,993 Okay. Guys. 1480 01:34:55,336 --> 01:34:58,055 Bangkok, Oriental setting, and the city Don't know what the city is getting. 1481 01:34:58,256 --> 01:34:59,849 Oh, fuck! 1482 01:35:00,049 --> 01:35:02,598 In a show with everything But Yul Brynner, ya know? 1483 01:35:05,430 --> 01:35:09,310 One night in Bangkok And the world's your oyster. 1484 01:35:09,934 --> 01:35:13,188 The bars are temples But the pearls, they ain't free. 1485 01:35:14,230 --> 01:35:18,030 You'll Find a god in every golden cloister. 1486 01:35:18,693 --> 01:35:21,788 And if you're lucky, then the god's a she 1487 01:35:22,029 --> 01:35:23,246 Alan! 1488 01:35:23,406 --> 01:35:25,659 I can feel the devil walking next to me. 1489 01:35:25,825 --> 01:35:27,793 What the fuck, man? 1490 01:35:27,952 --> 01:35:30,831 - So, what do you think? - It's insane! How did you do that? 1491 01:35:30,997 --> 01:35:33,921 My dad had to make a lot of calls, and then I told Mike, I said: 1492 01:35:34,083 --> 01:35:36,381 "You gotta do it. It's for my third best friend." 1493 01:35:37,128 --> 01:35:39,972 Alan, it's amazing. I love it. 1494 01:35:40,131 --> 01:35:41,178 Thank you so much. 1495 01:35:41,340 --> 01:35:44,970 We only have him for the night. We don't own him permanently. 1496 01:35:45,761 --> 01:35:47,638 Understood. 1497 01:35:48,181 --> 01:35:52,231 One night in Bangkok Makes the hard man humble. 1498 01:35:52,768 --> 01:35:56,147 Not much between despair and ecstasy 1499 01:35:56,898 --> 01:36:00,573 I can feel the devil walking next to me. 1500 01:36:03,321 --> 01:36:05,198 You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? 1501 01:36:07,575 --> 01:36:09,623 Mike, you were great. 1502 01:36:09,785 --> 01:36:12,004 It's true, that was incredible. 1503 01:36:12,163 --> 01:36:15,417 Thanks, guys. Thank you. That means a lot. Really, it does. 1504 01:36:15,583 --> 01:36:18,712 By the way, you really need to remove that fucking tattoo from your face. 1505 01:36:19,128 --> 01:36:20,880 Yep. On it. 1506 01:36:23,299 --> 01:36:25,427 Sorry about the last-minute performance change. 1507 01:36:25,593 --> 01:36:27,516 - Don't worry. - What are you talking about? 1508 01:36:27,678 --> 01:36:30,773 Well, he was supposed to sing "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers... 1509 01:36:30,932 --> 01:36:33,276 but then I remembered you don't like indie rock. 1510 01:36:33,434 --> 01:36:35,607 Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe this. 1511 01:36:35,770 --> 01:36:38,148 - Is that your phone? - Yeah. 1512 01:36:38,314 --> 01:36:40,237 How come you never tried calling us? 1513 01:36:40,399 --> 01:36:41,992 It's been dead for two days. 1514 01:36:42,151 --> 01:36:44,449 But I recharged it and found all these photos. 1515 01:36:44,612 --> 01:36:46,205 - What? - Oh, shit. 1516 01:36:46,364 --> 01:36:47,957 Some of it's pretty messed up. 1517 01:36:48,115 --> 01:36:51,119 - Awesome. Let's check them out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1518 01:36:51,285 --> 01:36:52,787 No one needs to see this stuff. 1519 01:36:52,954 --> 01:36:55,377 Come on, man. I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything. 1520 01:36:55,957 --> 01:36:58,085 - It'll be fine. - What...? 1521 01:36:59,627 --> 01:37:01,254 All right. But we look at it once... 1522 01:37:01,420 --> 01:37:04,640 And then we delete them. It's gonna be okay. 1523 01:37:05,967 --> 01:37:07,059 Motherfucker.