1 00:00:49,193 --> 00:00:53,573 In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos. 2 00:00:53,658 --> 00:00:56,488 On that line live Danson and Highsmith. 3 00:00:59,658 --> 00:01:02,163 Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof! 4 00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:06,543 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices. 5 00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:23,853 Get rid of that asshole. 6 00:01:23,978 --> 00:01:25,898 - Uh-oh! - I hate it when you say "uh-oh!" 7 00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:38,368 Dude, you put a ding in my hood! 8 00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:43,537 Come on with it, then! 9 00:01:49,085 --> 00:01:50,878 Whoa, hey! 10 00:01:57,761 --> 00:01:59,094 That's trouble. 11 00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:17,238 Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? 12 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,542 That's it. I'm sick of all this running. 13 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,551 Hang on! 14 00:02:48,979 --> 00:02:54,942 You have the right to remain silent! 15 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:58,070 But I wanna hear you scream! 16 00:03:13,503 --> 00:03:14,628 Down on the ground! 17 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,130 Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective! 18 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,841 One at a time, all right? 19 00:03:20,175 --> 00:03:24,220 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, New York Observer Online. 20 00:03:24,346 --> 00:03:27,265 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana, 21 00:03:27,349 --> 00:03:28,766 a misdemeanor in some states. 22 00:03:28,851 --> 00:03:32,145 Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages? 23 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,523 Why don't we let New York City answer that question? 24 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,151 The greatest city on Earth, yeah! 25 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,657 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. 26 00:03:44,742 --> 00:03:48,328 Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true? 27 00:03:48,412 --> 00:03:49,996 No comment. 28 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:51,831 But, yes. 29 00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:56,878 Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life! 30 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:04,510 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it. 31 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:10,308 Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive, and sex with style. They're rock stars. 32 00:04:10,392 --> 00:04:13,394 Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets... 33 00:04:14,647 --> 00:04:15,688 and the other guys. 34 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,362 We know, we know. We know. 35 00:04:22,446 --> 00:04:24,614 All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up! 36 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:28,242 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. 37 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,912 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling. 38 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,790 - That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. - Yeah! 39 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,960 And most of you are on the list. 40 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,962 You're the best. 41 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,005 Guys, I'm gonna say something right now. 42 00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:43,466 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream. 43 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,386 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - Let me finish. 44 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,846 He became a champion and then a movie star, all right? 45 00:04:48,931 --> 00:04:51,099 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - God damn it, let me... 46 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,100 They ruined the story. They ruined the story. 47 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,810 Let... What... The point is, 48 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:57,980 we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, 49 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,357 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do. 50 00:05:00,441 --> 00:05:02,442 All the gun fights, all the car chases, 51 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:06,405 all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to, 52 00:05:06,489 --> 00:05:10,158 all due to what you guys do. Thank you. 53 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,493 And we'd do it again and again. 54 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,870 Hey, you shut your face! 55 00:05:13,955 --> 00:05:15,163 If we wanna hear you talk, 56 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,125 I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! 57 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:19,918 You hear me? You hear me? 58 00:05:20,461 --> 00:05:22,379 - Cash bar. - Yeah. 59 00:05:22,463 --> 00:05:24,297 Peace out, bitches. 60 00:05:25,675 --> 00:05:28,635 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. 61 00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:30,262 Come on. Bring it in a little bit. 62 00:05:30,471 --> 00:05:32,472 All right, right there. 63 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,516 Just back up, just like right there. 64 00:05:35,143 --> 00:05:37,227 All right, just one... Just a... 65 00:05:37,311 --> 00:05:39,104 There you go, right there. Right there. 66 00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,732 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it. 67 00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:45,027 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. 68 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,780 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. 69 00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,282 - No offense, Bob. - That's all right. 70 00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:52,492 - Anyway, now who wants it? - I do! 71 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:55,287 All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case! 72 00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:57,414 - Nice work. Thanks, Allen. - Thank you, Captain. 73 00:05:57,498 --> 00:05:58,790 "I'll do it! I'll do it!" 74 00:06:08,843 --> 00:06:10,969 Stop humming that song! 75 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:14,806 - I can hum if I want to. - No, I know you can. 76 00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:16,141 I'm asking you to stop. 77 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,477 - Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. - Thank you. 78 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,567 Could you not smile like that? 79 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:29,488 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel. 80 00:06:29,571 --> 00:06:31,363 That I will not do. 81 00:06:35,202 --> 00:06:38,037 Seriously, stop humming! Okay? 82 00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:40,164 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell 83 00:06:40,248 --> 00:06:43,584 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from. 84 00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:46,629 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job. 85 00:06:46,713 --> 00:06:50,800 Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron. 86 00:06:50,884 --> 00:06:52,760 Hey, guys. Reminder. 87 00:06:52,844 --> 00:06:56,055 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend. 88 00:06:56,181 --> 00:07:00,768 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious. 89 00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:02,228 It's a bad time, Bob! 90 00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:05,356 All right. 91 00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:07,024 Going to get a slice. 92 00:07:18,703 --> 00:07:20,454 You know what I just did? 93 00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:22,832 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, 94 00:07:22,916 --> 00:07:25,417 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back, 95 00:07:25,544 --> 00:07:27,711 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me 96 00:07:27,796 --> 00:07:30,422 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward. 97 00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:31,715 Wow, I actually appreciate that. 98 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,592 Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face. 99 00:07:33,718 --> 00:07:36,428 - No. You don't have to. - No, I don't like you. 100 00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:37,930 I think you're a fake cop. 101 00:07:38,056 --> 00:07:41,767 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. 102 00:07:41,893 --> 00:07:44,603 If we were in the wild, I would attack you. 103 00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:49,400 Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. 104 00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:51,068 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, 105 00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:53,779 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! 106 00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:57,241 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. 107 00:07:57,325 --> 00:08:01,662 Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? 108 00:08:01,746 --> 00:08:02,955 Lions don't like water. 109 00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:07,083 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. 110 00:08:07,418 --> 00:08:09,711 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, 111 00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:11,588 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, 112 00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:17,177 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? 113 00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:18,428 You lose that battle. 114 00:08:18,512 --> 00:08:21,431 You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? 115 00:08:21,515 --> 00:08:25,810 You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. 116 00:08:25,936 --> 00:08:28,313 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated. 117 00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:29,564 - Yeah? - And said, "You know what? 118 00:08:29,648 --> 00:08:32,817 "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion." 119 00:08:32,943 --> 00:08:35,486 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead 120 00:08:35,613 --> 00:08:38,489 and aggressively hunt you and your family. 121 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,742 And we will corner your pride, 122 00:08:40,826 --> 00:08:42,702 - your children, your offspring. - How you gonna do that? 123 00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:46,372 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. 124 00:08:46,457 --> 00:08:48,958 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. 125 00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:53,504 It's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. 126 00:08:53,631 --> 00:08:56,257 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, 127 00:08:56,342 --> 00:08:59,427 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. 128 00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:03,014 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned. 129 00:09:06,477 --> 00:09:09,062 Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? 130 00:09:09,146 --> 00:09:10,313 Nope. 131 00:09:17,863 --> 00:09:19,447 Two minutes before the markets open, 132 00:09:19,531 --> 00:09:22,909 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell. 133 00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:25,453 With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon, 134 00:09:25,537 --> 00:09:28,998 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool. 135 00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:31,918 How much did we lose? 136 00:09:32,002 --> 00:09:34,295 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. 137 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,464 - $32. - Million? 138 00:09:36,548 --> 00:09:38,758 No, billion. 139 00:09:40,885 --> 00:09:42,219 Shit! 140 00:09:43,096 --> 00:09:47,557 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. 141 00:09:47,642 --> 00:09:49,351 - Bang, bang. - Yeah. 142 00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:51,061 Then I raise up to take the leader out. 143 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:52,646 Shit, I feel like I'm there now. 144 00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:55,232 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. 145 00:09:55,441 --> 00:09:57,317 He says, "Let's even the odds!" 146 00:09:57,610 --> 00:10:01,822 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest. 147 00:10:02,865 --> 00:10:04,408 Game over, bitches. 148 00:10:06,494 --> 00:10:08,203 - All right. - Yeah. 149 00:10:09,163 --> 00:10:14,126 Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel. 150 00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:15,836 Like my cock was made out of concrete. 151 00:10:17,171 --> 00:10:19,047 I know it's very tempting. 152 00:10:19,549 --> 00:10:21,216 You want to impress your friends. 153 00:10:21,384 --> 00:10:23,885 But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay? 154 00:10:24,012 --> 00:10:27,389 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty. 155 00:10:27,515 --> 00:10:28,557 Officer Hoitz? 156 00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:30,517 Oh, man. 157 00:10:30,601 --> 00:10:31,768 - Come on! - Here we go. 158 00:10:31,853 --> 00:10:33,228 Would you like to share? 159 00:10:33,354 --> 00:10:34,479 No, I'd rather not. 160 00:10:34,814 --> 00:10:37,232 Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months now, 161 00:10:37,317 --> 00:10:39,067 and you haven't said a word. 162 00:10:39,152 --> 00:10:41,486 This is a safe room, no judgment here. 163 00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:42,654 Jerkoff. 164 00:10:42,739 --> 00:10:45,073 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. 165 00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:46,658 I relive it every night. 166 00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,953 Bronx, October. 167 00:10:50,038 --> 00:10:51,830 Game 7 of the World Series. 168 00:10:51,914 --> 00:10:55,167 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty. 169 00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:58,086 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. 170 00:10:58,171 --> 00:11:00,088 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area! 171 00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:01,506 Finally pulled my gun. 172 00:11:01,591 --> 00:11:02,883 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me. 173 00:11:02,967 --> 00:11:04,843 Don't make me shoot! I'll do it! 174 00:11:06,095 --> 00:11:07,971 Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? 175 00:11:08,056 --> 00:11:11,183 You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me! 176 00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:14,019 - You cost me 20 grand on that game! - Douche bag. 177 00:11:14,103 --> 00:11:15,562 Cost the city a championship. 178 00:11:15,646 --> 00:11:17,981 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide. 179 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,941 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner. Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper. 180 00:11:21,026 --> 00:11:22,693 Because you shot Derek Jeter! 181 00:11:22,778 --> 00:11:24,070 He's a biracial angel. 182 00:11:24,154 --> 00:11:25,821 You should've shot A-Rod. 183 00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:34,789 Yo, Paper Bitch. 184 00:11:35,165 --> 00:11:36,832 - What's up, man? - Hey. Hey, guys. 185 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,626 - Paper Bitch. - Paper Bitch. 186 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:39,794 I don't like that, actually. 187 00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:41,670 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name. 188 00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:43,339 Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork? 189 00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,508 - Shit. - No, actually, actually, that's... 190 00:11:45,592 --> 00:11:46,967 What is this? That looks stupid. 191 00:11:47,052 --> 00:11:50,679 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. Specifically, scaffolding. 192 00:11:50,764 --> 00:11:52,306 Some of the guys were talking. 193 00:11:52,599 --> 00:11:55,184 They were like, "How come you've never fired your weapon in the office before?" 194 00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:56,352 Good point. 195 00:11:56,728 --> 00:11:58,062 I'm sorry, I don't follow. 196 00:11:58,146 --> 00:11:59,605 You've never fired your weapon in the office. 197 00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:01,816 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop. 198 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,610 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer. 199 00:12:04,694 --> 00:12:05,820 - Not true. - I'm not stupid. 200 00:12:05,904 --> 00:12:08,364 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office. 201 00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:10,032 Gamble, listen to me. I'll try to make it real clear. 202 00:12:10,117 --> 00:12:14,286 We honor the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office. 203 00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:16,455 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop? 204 00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,457 September '08. 205 00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:20,626 - Be a man. Do it. - Now. 206 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,378 - Please, please, do it. - Pop one off! 207 00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:24,547 - There you go. Pop it off! - Don't think, just go! 208 00:12:24,631 --> 00:12:26,173 - Here we go. - Do it, yes. 209 00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:28,843 He did it! 210 00:12:28,969 --> 00:12:30,803 Hey! Shots fired! 211 00:12:30,887 --> 00:12:34,014 Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop! 212 00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,100 It's a real thing, right? 213 00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:37,685 - A desk pop? - Yeah. 214 00:12:37,769 --> 00:12:38,894 No, that's not real! 215 00:12:38,979 --> 00:12:42,940 They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me. 216 00:12:45,944 --> 00:12:47,778 All right, Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun. 217 00:12:47,863 --> 00:12:48,988 Yes, sir. 218 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:53,075 Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator. 219 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:56,536 All right, I'm gonna give you this. This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony. 220 00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:57,787 There. 221 00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:02,709 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it. 222 00:13:03,335 --> 00:13:07,005 Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here. 223 00:13:07,089 --> 00:13:10,258 And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay? 224 00:13:10,342 --> 00:13:12,969 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU 225 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:16,806 so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. 226 00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:20,351 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. 227 00:13:20,436 --> 00:13:22,812 I'm just gonna ask you guys, please, come on, really. 228 00:13:22,897 --> 00:13:24,647 Just think about... Just be smart. 229 00:13:54,178 --> 00:13:55,637 211 in progress. 230 00:13:55,721 --> 00:13:58,806 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry. 231 00:13:58,891 --> 00:14:00,308 All right, we got it. 232 00:14:00,392 --> 00:14:02,727 - Good luck, guys. Have a good one. - Allen, let's go. 233 00:14:02,811 --> 00:14:05,688 - No, I got work to do. - What? This is work! 234 00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:09,359 Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy. 235 00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:10,777 You cream puffs, sit tight. 236 00:14:10,861 --> 00:14:12,195 You gotta be shitting me! 237 00:14:12,696 --> 00:14:15,365 You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? 238 00:14:15,449 --> 00:14:18,534 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly! 239 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,918 Did he just... Did he just call himself a peacock? 240 00:14:30,463 --> 00:14:31,672 Let's go! Let's go! 241 00:14:34,717 --> 00:14:35,801 Come on, fellas! 242 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:38,428 Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island! 243 00:14:52,277 --> 00:14:53,902 That's the second one this week! 244 00:14:55,238 --> 00:14:57,281 Hey, you monkeys! Stop! 245 00:14:57,949 --> 00:14:59,074 Let's go! 246 00:14:59,909 --> 00:15:00,993 Yeah! 247 00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:02,744 Heads up! 248 00:15:03,079 --> 00:15:04,204 Shit. 249 00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:19,386 Special Forces zipline. 250 00:15:20,013 --> 00:15:21,763 Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go! 251 00:15:23,016 --> 00:15:25,267 - These guys are pros. - Let's go! 252 00:15:25,351 --> 00:15:26,727 You thinking what I'm thinking, partner? 253 00:15:27,353 --> 00:15:28,437 Aim for the bushes. 254 00:15:56,049 --> 00:15:59,718 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. 255 00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:03,764 Maybe it was just pride, having survived so many brushes with death. 256 00:16:03,848 --> 00:16:06,016 Maybe their egos pushed them off. 257 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,809 I don't know. But that shit was crazy. 258 00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:13,606 Either way, there was a hole in New York City, and it needed to be filled. 259 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,983 Two days ago, this city wept. 260 00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:20,029 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us, 261 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:25,034 who paid that ultimate sacrifice so that we may walk these streets safely. 262 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,536 There wasn't even an awning in their direction. 263 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,789 - No, I know. - They just jumped 20 stories. 264 00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:31,207 Doesn't make sense, does it? 265 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:35,169 I only hope God lets them take their.357s with them to heaven. 266 00:16:35,253 --> 00:16:38,589 It's our moment, Allen. Our moment to step up and be the guys. 267 00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:41,759 - We're at a funeral. Show some respect. - What? 268 00:16:42,052 --> 00:16:45,096 You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing? 269 00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:49,975 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. 270 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:53,062 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats. 271 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:56,690 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero. 272 00:16:57,025 --> 00:16:58,526 - Is it? - Yeah. 273 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:02,238 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens, 274 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,073 all just stepping up and doing their part? 275 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,409 As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers? 276 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,661 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid. 277 00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:11,080 I went to school and made my bed. 278 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,791 And at age 11, I audited my parents. 279 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:17,169 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded. 280 00:17:17,254 --> 00:17:19,130 What the hell are you? 281 00:17:19,214 --> 00:17:22,174 Well, well, well. What do we got here? 282 00:17:22,259 --> 00:17:26,345 Look at these two jamokes, would you? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office. 283 00:17:29,641 --> 00:17:32,351 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. 284 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,645 You wanna dance, brolio? 285 00:17:34,729 --> 00:17:38,983 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. You'll be pissing blood out of your ass. 286 00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,151 That's horrible. 287 00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:41,402 Why don't you step back, man? 288 00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:42,944 You touch him, I swear to God 289 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,863 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head. 290 00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:47,490 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example. 291 00:17:47,575 --> 00:17:49,367 - You wanna go? - I wanna go! 292 00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:52,162 - Get him off. - Kick his ass, Martin. 293 00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:53,997 Yeah. How do you like that? 294 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,916 - Pull his hair! - I love it. 295 00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,793 This hurts so good. 296 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,880 - Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. - What a lovely hat. 297 00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,798 I love your shoes. 298 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,633 - It's fine, it's fine. - Go, go. 299 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,385 Punish him! 300 00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:09,512 Oh, man. 301 00:18:10,181 --> 00:18:12,140 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. 302 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,266 - Punish him. - That's not even a move. 303 00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:16,936 I'm the winner. I'm the winner, everybody saw it. 304 00:18:17,021 --> 00:18:19,272 What the hell is going on here? 305 00:18:19,356 --> 00:18:21,149 Two good men are dead, 306 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:24,319 and you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot? 307 00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,528 Is that what's happening? 308 00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:27,197 Yes, that's exactly what's happening. 309 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,908 Let me tell you something. 310 00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:31,910 - Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. - Very sorry. 311 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,329 - Sorry, Lorraine. - Sorry, Lorraine. 312 00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:36,164 Hi, I'm Jimmy. 313 00:18:37,374 --> 00:18:39,042 - Too soon? - Why'd you say that? 314 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,211 I'll tell you something about those guys. 315 00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:45,882 They knew that to become a good cop, you had to solve cases. Okay? 316 00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:49,928 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery. 317 00:18:50,387 --> 00:18:52,597 Okay? So just watch it. 318 00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:55,767 Next time, me, you, library. 319 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:58,019 - Not even close. - Come on, guys. Guys, come on. 320 00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:00,688 - You are... - I'm the winner! 321 00:19:00,981 --> 00:19:04,025 I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? I could've handled that myself. 322 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:07,820 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice. 323 00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,155 Move. 324 00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:21,333 - 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! - Cut the shit! 325 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,550 Good morning. 326 00:19:30,426 --> 00:19:33,720 We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street. 327 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,722 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene. 328 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:36,932 Try to stay out of trouble, boys. 329 00:19:37,016 --> 00:19:38,684 There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call, right? 330 00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:40,602 No chance. Too busy. 331 00:19:40,853 --> 00:19:45,232 All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. 332 00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:47,317 - That's right. - You girls stay here and get your type on. 333 00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,319 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus. 334 00:19:49,445 --> 00:19:50,529 Shut up! 335 00:19:50,613 --> 00:19:52,864 Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second? 336 00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:54,408 I... I'm super busy right now, Terry. 337 00:19:54,492 --> 00:19:56,368 No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick. 338 00:19:56,452 --> 00:19:58,328 It's about the construction permits you were talking about. 339 00:19:58,413 --> 00:20:00,414 - The scaffolding violations? - This is our thing, yeah. 340 00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:03,625 So, what do you got? 341 00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:06,211 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck. 342 00:20:06,296 --> 00:20:07,379 What are you doing? 343 00:20:07,463 --> 00:20:10,173 Let's go. We're going to that call. 344 00:20:10,258 --> 00:20:11,842 - What is this? - Shut up. 345 00:20:11,926 --> 00:20:14,261 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case. 346 00:20:14,345 --> 00:20:15,762 - You're not gonna shoot me. - I won't? 347 00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,306 - No. - I shot Jeter. 348 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,558 - That was an accident. - Was it? 349 00:20:19,642 --> 00:20:21,184 - Now move. - Okay. 350 00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:23,228 Hey. 351 00:20:23,313 --> 00:20:26,523 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me. 352 00:20:26,608 --> 00:20:28,400 I'm being kidnapped. 353 00:20:28,484 --> 00:20:31,570 Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this? 354 00:20:31,779 --> 00:20:34,197 - So, then what happened? - What do you think happened? 355 00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:37,659 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, and I got in my car, and I got out of there. 356 00:20:37,744 --> 00:20:39,286 Talk about a wild weekend, right? 357 00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:42,664 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out. 358 00:20:42,749 --> 00:20:44,916 What are you gonna do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs. 359 00:20:47,295 --> 00:20:49,171 What the hell is this? 360 00:20:49,255 --> 00:20:51,965 It's my car. It's a Prius. 361 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:55,719 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina. 362 00:20:55,802 --> 00:20:58,638 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th. 363 00:20:58,722 --> 00:21:00,806 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out. 364 00:21:00,891 --> 00:21:02,600 We'll just see who's there first. 365 00:21:02,684 --> 00:21:05,394 You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me? 366 00:21:05,562 --> 00:21:07,104 Go, go, go! 367 00:21:07,522 --> 00:21:10,232 You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls? 368 00:21:10,317 --> 00:21:12,193 Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach? 369 00:21:12,277 --> 00:21:13,903 Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? 370 00:21:13,987 --> 00:21:16,030 I got something to get you going. 371 00:21:18,867 --> 00:21:21,035 Let's go do some damage! 372 00:21:22,454 --> 00:21:23,704 Nope. 373 00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:27,208 What the hell is that? 374 00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:29,669 LRB. Little River Band. 375 00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:32,338 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra. 376 00:21:32,673 --> 00:21:35,132 You know what? We go with no music, okay? 377 00:21:35,217 --> 00:21:36,342 - Fine. - Say bye. 378 00:21:36,426 --> 00:21:37,551 No, no, no, don't say bye... 379 00:21:37,636 --> 00:21:39,345 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz! 380 00:21:39,429 --> 00:21:42,640 Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot! 381 00:21:42,724 --> 00:21:44,141 America! 382 00:21:44,476 --> 00:21:46,769 Allen! Allen, hit the brake! 383 00:21:47,771 --> 00:21:50,523 Seriously, slow the car down! We're approaching the crime scene! 384 00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:51,691 Terry, I'm coming in. 385 00:21:51,775 --> 00:21:53,609 You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen! 386 00:21:53,944 --> 00:21:55,361 Dude! What... 387 00:22:00,575 --> 00:22:02,702 That's a lot of cocaine. 388 00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:06,664 Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator? 389 00:22:06,748 --> 00:22:08,541 Nope. No. No. 390 00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:11,585 I've never actually put my foot all the way down 391 00:22:12,379 --> 00:22:15,589 to the ground with the accelerator like that. 392 00:22:16,758 --> 00:22:19,051 It got me slightly aroused. 393 00:22:21,596 --> 00:22:23,180 Here we go. 394 00:22:25,267 --> 00:22:28,728 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys. 395 00:22:28,812 --> 00:22:31,230 - Prius, huh? - Yep, yep. 396 00:22:31,313 --> 00:22:32,564 Good mileage? 397 00:22:32,648 --> 00:22:34,023 - Outstanding. - Yeah. 398 00:22:34,108 --> 00:22:36,693 Did this come with a dental dam? 399 00:22:37,403 --> 00:22:39,320 - No. - Get it? 400 00:22:40,823 --> 00:22:42,782 My Suburban shit one of these last night. 401 00:22:42,867 --> 00:22:44,492 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. 402 00:22:46,078 --> 00:22:47,245 We've had our fun, huh? 403 00:22:47,329 --> 00:22:50,290 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. 404 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:52,167 All right, everybody! 405 00:22:52,251 --> 00:22:55,295 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over. 406 00:22:55,379 --> 00:22:57,797 "At the crime scene, LOL." 407 00:22:57,882 --> 00:22:59,591 - Good tweet, good tweet. - Yeah, thanks. 408 00:22:59,967 --> 00:23:03,720 America has always been defined by its excess. 409 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:07,390 The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts. 410 00:23:07,475 --> 00:23:09,893 Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon. 411 00:23:09,977 --> 00:23:13,855 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis 412 00:23:15,024 --> 00:23:16,900 and a Subaru station wagon. 413 00:23:17,234 --> 00:23:20,153 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished. 414 00:23:20,237 --> 00:23:23,823 I implore you, please, do not stop profiting. 415 00:23:23,908 --> 00:23:27,660 Live for excess. It's the American way. 416 00:23:34,210 --> 00:23:35,502 Hello. 417 00:23:36,212 --> 00:23:39,380 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. 418 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:43,927 Sir David. 419 00:23:44,011 --> 00:23:47,597 David. You're not returning my calls, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley. 420 00:23:47,723 --> 00:23:49,349 - G'day, mate. - Hey. 421 00:23:49,767 --> 00:23:52,018 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you, 422 00:23:52,102 --> 00:23:53,436 because I think you're going to take off. 423 00:23:54,188 --> 00:23:56,940 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere. 424 00:23:57,066 --> 00:23:59,442 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th. 425 00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:02,362 You have until then to give me my money. I'm not reporting any losses, David. 426 00:24:02,446 --> 00:24:04,280 I have zeroed in on a new investor. 427 00:24:04,406 --> 00:24:07,450 Well, then, you get their money, make it disappear, and then pay us back. 428 00:24:07,534 --> 00:24:10,786 Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me. 429 00:24:10,912 --> 00:24:13,372 - David! - Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye. 430 00:24:13,456 --> 00:24:17,876 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go. 431 00:24:18,294 --> 00:24:19,419 Heard everything, mate. 432 00:24:19,629 --> 00:24:20,796 Ladies and gentlemen, 433 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,384 guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars. 434 00:24:27,303 --> 00:24:28,762 That man there. 435 00:24:29,556 --> 00:24:31,557 Go! Go! 436 00:24:31,808 --> 00:24:33,642 - Side! - Step aside, please. 437 00:24:34,477 --> 00:24:36,228 You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? 438 00:24:36,312 --> 00:24:38,564 No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times. 439 00:24:38,648 --> 00:24:39,731 I was really honest about that. 440 00:24:39,816 --> 00:24:42,317 I'm working on a huge case, all right? 441 00:24:42,443 --> 00:24:44,570 Property owner with seven buildings under construction. 442 00:24:44,654 --> 00:24:47,739 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit. 443 00:24:47,824 --> 00:24:51,827 Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now. 444 00:24:51,911 --> 00:24:55,622 - That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? - Yeah. 445 00:24:56,249 --> 00:24:58,959 Guess what? You're coming with me. 446 00:24:59,669 --> 00:25:01,628 It's a wooden gun. 447 00:25:04,090 --> 00:25:05,966 That hurts, man! 448 00:25:08,177 --> 00:25:12,097 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here. I've got six disks in here. 449 00:25:12,932 --> 00:25:16,101 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance. 450 00:25:16,185 --> 00:25:18,604 I'm flying Air Singapore. 451 00:25:18,688 --> 00:25:20,439 - Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? - She died. 452 00:25:20,523 --> 00:25:21,607 Attaboy! 453 00:25:21,691 --> 00:25:23,650 I'll be there in two minutes exactly. 454 00:25:23,818 --> 00:25:27,362 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change. 455 00:25:27,488 --> 00:25:29,781 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse. 456 00:25:29,866 --> 00:25:30,949 Why do you even care? 457 00:25:31,034 --> 00:25:34,036 How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse? 458 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,121 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly. 459 00:25:36,205 --> 00:25:37,372 You're being ridiculous. 460 00:25:37,457 --> 00:25:40,042 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. 461 00:25:40,126 --> 00:25:41,376 - What? - Like a little... 462 00:25:41,502 --> 00:25:43,378 - You know what bugs me about you? - What? 463 00:25:43,463 --> 00:25:44,796 I'm pretty sure you've never voted. 464 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,215 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week. 465 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:50,635 You're like a child in a leatherjacket. That's what you're like. 466 00:25:50,719 --> 00:25:51,802 Get out of the way, man! 467 00:25:51,887 --> 00:25:53,721 Wait. Are you David Ershon? 468 00:25:54,348 --> 00:25:57,141 Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the... 469 00:25:57,225 --> 00:26:00,478 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you. 470 00:26:00,562 --> 00:26:03,814 - Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? - What? 471 00:26:03,899 --> 00:26:08,819 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used... 472 00:26:08,904 --> 00:26:10,988 - What's the next part? - As a floatation device. 473 00:26:11,073 --> 00:26:12,573 As a floatation device. 474 00:26:12,699 --> 00:26:16,243 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before. 475 00:26:16,328 --> 00:26:18,079 - Really? - Are you guys for real? 476 00:26:18,205 --> 00:26:19,246 Am I being punk'd? 477 00:26:20,582 --> 00:26:21,666 Detective Allen Gamble. 478 00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:24,752 We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp. 479 00:26:24,836 --> 00:26:27,588 - One David Ershon. - 175 pounds. 480 00:26:27,714 --> 00:26:29,757 - Thank you. 175 pounds. - Shut up, man, shut up! 481 00:26:29,925 --> 00:26:33,761 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now. 482 00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:36,681 We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit? 483 00:26:36,765 --> 00:26:38,933 Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for? 484 00:26:39,059 --> 00:26:40,935 For scaffolding permit violation... 485 00:26:49,945 --> 00:26:51,779 - I got my insurance card. Somewhere. - Easy, mate. 486 00:26:51,905 --> 00:26:54,281 - What the hell? You ran right into us! - Stand over there. 487 00:26:54,783 --> 00:26:55,908 Wood? 488 00:26:56,451 --> 00:26:57,535 What the... 489 00:26:57,619 --> 00:26:59,453 - Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. - What? 490 00:26:59,538 --> 00:27:01,122 Do not let these men take me. 491 00:27:02,958 --> 00:27:04,041 Hi. 492 00:27:05,127 --> 00:27:06,627 Why's she looking at you like that? 493 00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:08,212 That's my car! 494 00:27:08,296 --> 00:27:12,091 Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information! 495 00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:13,968 Hey! Excuse me! 496 00:27:14,886 --> 00:27:17,304 Why did they take our shoes? 497 00:27:17,389 --> 00:27:20,808 - What the hell just happened? - Where's my iPhone? 498 00:27:21,976 --> 00:27:24,060 I think we've walked 30 blocks, man. 499 00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:29,232 I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up. 500 00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:31,818 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car. 501 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:33,486 There's no way that's going out on the radio. 502 00:27:33,904 --> 00:27:36,990 Look, if we're gonna do this together, there's some issues we need to settle, okay? 503 00:27:37,116 --> 00:27:40,660 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine. 504 00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:41,995 How do you think that makes me feel? 505 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:47,167 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird. 506 00:27:47,251 --> 00:27:49,502 I hear you. 507 00:27:49,587 --> 00:27:54,340 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. 508 00:27:54,425 --> 00:27:57,010 All right. Fresh start. 509 00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:02,348 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers, 510 00:28:02,433 --> 00:28:04,017 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now. 511 00:28:05,519 --> 00:28:06,644 Right? 512 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:09,814 Let's do another fresh start, 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face. 513 00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:12,692 Fine, fresh start. 514 00:28:12,777 --> 00:28:14,527 It's the last one. 515 00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:16,529 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know. 516 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:22,285 - Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! - Listen up! 517 00:28:22,369 --> 00:28:24,287 Got a high profile kidnapping. 518 00:28:24,497 --> 00:28:27,791 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team. 519 00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:29,959 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. 520 00:28:30,044 --> 00:28:34,464 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? 'Cause your feet are black. 521 00:28:34,548 --> 00:28:36,549 Who cares? It's not important, okay? 522 00:28:36,634 --> 00:28:39,177 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. 523 00:28:41,055 --> 00:28:42,722 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 524 00:28:42,848 --> 00:28:43,890 Come on. 525 00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:47,560 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon. 526 00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:49,729 Roger Wesley, head of his private security. 527 00:28:49,855 --> 00:28:51,731 - Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! - Hey, hey, hey! 528 00:28:51,857 --> 00:28:53,566 Hey, Terry! Take it easy! 529 00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:55,652 - That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. - And my shoes! 530 00:28:55,736 --> 00:28:58,738 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify yourselves as police officers? 531 00:28:58,863 --> 00:28:59,905 What is this? 532 00:29:00,031 --> 00:29:02,324 - Allen, tell me. Did you? - No, we did not. 533 00:29:02,408 --> 00:29:06,411 Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon. 534 00:29:06,996 --> 00:29:08,163 It's only protocol. 535 00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:13,001 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation. The case is closed. 536 00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:15,587 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork. 537 00:29:15,672 --> 00:29:17,756 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that 538 00:29:17,882 --> 00:29:21,343 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force. 539 00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:22,928 - Thank you, Captain. - You bet. 540 00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:25,013 Australian? 541 00:29:25,098 --> 00:29:26,557 Special Forces, right? 542 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:29,434 Best watch your step, Detective. 543 00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:32,271 There are three things I love in this world. 544 00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:33,438 Kylie Minogue, 545 00:29:35,024 --> 00:29:37,776 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks... 546 00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:39,278 Beautiful features. 547 00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:42,114 and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him. 548 00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:46,702 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over. 549 00:29:46,786 --> 00:29:48,120 Come on, man. 550 00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,792 All right, look, they returned your shoes. 551 00:29:54,252 --> 00:29:58,463 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry. 552 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:02,759 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it, 553 00:30:02,844 --> 00:30:05,679 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something. 554 00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:08,348 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note. 555 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:09,558 Okay. 556 00:30:09,642 --> 00:30:10,767 You're mad at us, huh, Gene? 557 00:30:10,852 --> 00:30:14,563 First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain. 558 00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:17,232 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech? 559 00:30:17,317 --> 00:30:18,442 - Sure. - All right. 560 00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:21,153 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it? 561 00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:24,031 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene. 562 00:30:24,157 --> 00:30:26,074 It's just "Captain." 563 00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:29,203 Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. 564 00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:30,954 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." 565 00:30:31,331 --> 00:30:35,375 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon. 566 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,377 Was he the victim of financial profiling? 567 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:43,174 Financial profiling? That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him. 568 00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:47,345 That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me." 569 00:30:47,471 --> 00:30:49,847 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. 570 00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:52,934 What about donkeys or deer? 571 00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:55,019 They have hooves. What about bovine creatures? 572 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,106 Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"? 573 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,151 - Yeah. - Yeah. I could see it. 574 00:31:02,236 --> 00:31:04,320 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place? 575 00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:05,738 We'll talk the case down. 576 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,865 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila. 577 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:10,660 Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right? 578 00:31:10,744 --> 00:31:11,911 - It's not dinner. - Fine. 579 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:13,788 And let me apologize in advance, okay, 580 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,249 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. 581 00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:21,545 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it. 582 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:27,551 Okay, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon. 583 00:31:27,678 --> 00:31:31,055 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing. 584 00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:34,725 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas. 585 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:38,062 David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium. 586 00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:39,230 Who's that talking? 587 00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:41,857 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents. 588 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:45,945 Ershon Consortium, current financial investments exceed $70 billion. 589 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:49,073 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global. 590 00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:51,867 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do. 591 00:31:51,952 --> 00:31:55,037 Yeah, oil, media, health care, you've probably heard their jingle. 592 00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:58,082 Lendl Global, we're in everything 593 00:31:58,208 --> 00:32:01,002 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia... 594 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:03,421 - Yeah. and the lead singer of Maroon 5. 595 00:32:03,547 --> 00:32:05,339 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels, 596 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:08,259 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it. 597 00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:09,969 How do you get that from anything I just said? 598 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:11,845 Hey, guys! Soup's on. 599 00:32:11,929 --> 00:32:13,305 What do you mean? 600 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:16,516 Hi. 601 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,184 - Hi. - You must be Terry. 602 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:21,479 I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky. 603 00:32:22,898 --> 00:32:25,608 - Who are you? - I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife. 604 00:32:25,943 --> 00:32:28,528 - Come on, seriously. Who is that? - His old lady. 605 00:32:28,612 --> 00:32:31,114 - Sweetie, it's a workstation. - Got it. 606 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,743 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting. 607 00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:36,786 I know you're working. I'm so sorry. 608 00:32:36,912 --> 00:32:38,872 - Come on, seriously. - Come on, what? 609 00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:40,165 Who is that? 610 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,292 That's the old... That's the old ball and chain. 611 00:32:44,628 --> 00:32:46,171 Get over here. 612 00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:47,881 - Not... Not right now. - Okay. 613 00:32:47,965 --> 00:32:49,966 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? 614 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,801 Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is? 615 00:32:52,636 --> 00:32:56,139 - Are you really Allen's wife? - I know. 616 00:32:56,265 --> 00:32:59,684 People are shocked because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic, 617 00:33:00,353 --> 00:33:01,811 but somehow it works. 618 00:33:02,521 --> 00:33:05,148 - Are you gonna change? - I already did. 619 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:07,442 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. 620 00:33:07,526 --> 00:33:11,613 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty. 621 00:33:11,697 --> 00:33:13,031 Don't speak to her like that, Allen. 622 00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:17,660 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-. 623 00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:19,746 Allen and his apps. He loves them. 624 00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:23,333 You know he's designed three of his own? One of them... Can I tell him? 625 00:33:23,959 --> 00:33:25,835 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face, 626 00:33:25,961 --> 00:33:28,713 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like. 627 00:33:29,006 --> 00:33:30,298 - Faceback. - Faceback. 628 00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:32,467 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate. 629 00:33:32,843 --> 00:33:33,968 - It's gonna hit. - It's gonna catch. 630 00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:36,096 Why are you with Allen? 631 00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:40,058 I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet? 632 00:33:40,184 --> 00:33:42,894 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry. 633 00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:44,312 You're gonna be bored by it. 634 00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:48,400 I was a dancer for the Knicks while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital. 635 00:33:48,525 --> 00:33:50,484 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. 636 00:33:50,568 --> 00:33:51,568 Yes. 637 00:33:52,070 --> 00:33:54,696 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. 638 00:33:55,115 --> 00:33:59,326 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn, 639 00:34:00,078 --> 00:34:02,371 - and, to be honest, we didn't speak. - Three days 640 00:34:02,455 --> 00:34:05,040 of not communicating once verbally. 641 00:34:05,333 --> 00:34:07,376 We had actually, without knowing it, 642 00:34:07,460 --> 00:34:12,756 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures. 643 00:34:12,966 --> 00:34:15,634 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection. 644 00:34:16,094 --> 00:34:21,098 After those three days of non-verbal communication and a whole lot of loving, 645 00:34:21,307 --> 00:34:24,643 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned. 646 00:34:25,019 --> 00:34:28,647 Similar to operating on a German shepherd 647 00:34:29,399 --> 00:34:32,985 - when they have hip dysplasia. - Very painful. 648 00:34:33,319 --> 00:34:37,322 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie, always forget the name of it. 649 00:34:37,449 --> 00:34:38,574 - With Meg Ryan. - Yes. 650 00:34:38,658 --> 00:34:41,660 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass. 651 00:34:41,744 --> 00:34:44,163 - I'll think of it. I'll think of it. - Okay. 652 00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:45,914 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl? 653 00:34:45,999 --> 00:34:48,000 I did, yeah. 654 00:34:48,126 --> 00:34:50,586 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated. 655 00:34:50,670 --> 00:34:53,088 - Terry shot Derek Jeter. - Shut up, Allen. This was before. 656 00:34:53,173 --> 00:34:54,423 That's okay. 657 00:34:54,507 --> 00:34:56,508 She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie. 658 00:34:56,593 --> 00:34:58,510 That's it! Honey! 659 00:34:58,636 --> 00:34:59,678 - With Tom Hanks? - Right. 660 00:34:59,804 --> 00:35:00,846 - And Meg Ryan. - Meg Ryan. 661 00:35:00,972 --> 00:35:02,014 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. 662 00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:03,432 - Yes, he did. - Yes, he did. Yeah. 663 00:35:03,516 --> 00:35:04,725 Way up there. 664 00:35:05,226 --> 00:35:07,811 Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a... 665 00:35:07,937 --> 00:35:09,521 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you. 666 00:35:09,606 --> 00:35:13,233 - It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. - It was my pleasure. Thank you. 667 00:35:13,318 --> 00:35:17,821 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry. 668 00:35:17,947 --> 00:35:20,282 - She tells me that every day before I leave. - Yep, I do. 669 00:35:20,617 --> 00:35:23,452 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries, 670 00:35:23,577 --> 00:35:26,329 and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today, 671 00:35:26,455 --> 00:35:27,705 "you just don't get hurt." 672 00:35:27,789 --> 00:35:29,123 Yeah. Every morning. 673 00:35:29,583 --> 00:35:33,044 And then I show him my breasts, and I say, "These are waiting for you 674 00:35:33,128 --> 00:35:34,253 - "when you get back home." - Right. 675 00:35:34,338 --> 00:35:37,215 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen, 676 00:35:37,299 --> 00:35:39,717 - but, man, are they perky. - Not by a long shot. 677 00:35:39,801 --> 00:35:42,470 - And they are firm, and they are yours. - You're a nice lady. 678 00:35:44,306 --> 00:35:45,473 Thank you for coming. 679 00:35:45,849 --> 00:35:49,810 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over. 680 00:35:49,937 --> 00:35:50,978 Go for Hoitz. 681 00:35:51,104 --> 00:35:52,605 - We found your red Prius. - Great. 682 00:35:52,689 --> 00:35:54,774 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader. 683 00:35:54,858 --> 00:35:57,068 - Come on. - Okay, sugar balls, listen up. 684 00:35:57,152 --> 00:35:58,444 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car. 685 00:35:58,529 --> 00:36:00,863 Tomorrow, we're gonna run those fingerprints through the system. 686 00:36:00,989 --> 00:36:04,617 And if we get a hit, this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. 687 00:36:04,701 --> 00:36:07,036 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it. 688 00:36:07,162 --> 00:36:08,204 - Okay. - Thank you, Sheila. 689 00:36:08,330 --> 00:36:09,372 He'll bring it. 690 00:36:09,498 --> 00:36:11,082 - Good night! - Good night. 691 00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:12,500 Thank you, Sheila. 692 00:36:12,834 --> 00:36:15,878 - Bye, Terry! - Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight. 693 00:36:16,004 --> 00:36:17,755 - Bye, Terry! - All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside. 694 00:36:17,839 --> 00:36:18,923 Bye, Sheila! 695 00:36:19,007 --> 00:36:20,508 - Night! - See you... See you, Terry! 696 00:36:21,009 --> 00:36:22,510 Bye, Sheila. 697 00:36:26,473 --> 00:36:29,058 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry! 698 00:36:29,184 --> 00:36:30,726 Bye, Sheila! 699 00:36:34,189 --> 00:36:38,568 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night. 700 00:36:38,694 --> 00:36:40,319 You find anything? 701 00:36:40,404 --> 00:36:43,155 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. 702 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,199 From bodily fluid and hair samples, 703 00:36:45,325 --> 00:36:48,327 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. 704 00:36:48,412 --> 00:36:50,621 - Oh, God. - Yeah. 705 00:36:51,039 --> 00:36:52,623 You know what that's called when they do that in there? 706 00:36:52,749 --> 00:36:54,208 That's called a soup kitchen. 707 00:36:54,293 --> 00:36:55,876 It's pretty rough stuff. 708 00:36:55,961 --> 00:36:59,463 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along 709 00:36:59,547 --> 00:37:00,964 and gave birth on the floor. 710 00:37:01,799 --> 00:37:03,383 Placenta blew out all over the back window there. 711 00:37:04,510 --> 00:37:07,137 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along 712 00:37:07,430 --> 00:37:10,515 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat. 713 00:37:10,850 --> 00:37:12,600 I think he knew you guys were cops, 714 00:37:12,977 --> 00:37:15,478 because this is what I would call a spite shit. 715 00:37:15,938 --> 00:37:17,355 You were able to determine all of that 716 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,274 - from the hair and fluid samples? - Oh, yeah. 717 00:37:19,650 --> 00:37:21,526 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints? 718 00:37:21,610 --> 00:37:23,653 - Nope, couldn't get a one. - Found a cell phone. 719 00:37:24,113 --> 00:37:25,322 Yeah, that's mine. 720 00:37:25,448 --> 00:37:26,865 Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? 721 00:37:27,491 --> 00:37:31,661 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. 722 00:37:31,746 --> 00:37:33,830 In fact, they even left you a note here. 723 00:37:33,914 --> 00:37:37,625 "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." 724 00:37:37,752 --> 00:37:38,752 Here's something we found. 725 00:37:38,836 --> 00:37:41,463 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. 726 00:37:41,630 --> 00:37:44,674 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. 727 00:37:44,842 --> 00:37:48,178 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine. 728 00:37:49,013 --> 00:37:51,973 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car. 729 00:37:52,058 --> 00:37:53,850 Found a deer vagina. 730 00:37:54,685 --> 00:37:56,895 - What? - Thought it was human lips at first. 731 00:37:57,021 --> 00:37:59,481 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina. 732 00:38:01,776 --> 00:38:02,984 Not even a free ticket. 733 00:38:03,986 --> 00:38:05,195 What are we gonna do? 734 00:38:05,321 --> 00:38:08,365 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets. 735 00:38:08,616 --> 00:38:11,326 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped. 736 00:38:11,660 --> 00:38:13,578 - They used your phone? - They ghost dialed. 737 00:38:13,662 --> 00:38:14,829 Someone probably sat on it. 738 00:38:14,955 --> 00:38:17,665 It could have recorded some of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed. 739 00:38:17,792 --> 00:38:19,125 We gotta hear the other side of that call. 740 00:38:20,294 --> 00:38:21,628 Nope, no, it's nothing. 741 00:38:21,712 --> 00:38:23,963 - Nothing? It's the only lead we have. - It's nothing. It's nothing. 742 00:38:24,048 --> 00:38:25,465 Why did you just get super jumpy? 743 00:38:26,550 --> 00:38:27,634 What? 744 00:38:27,718 --> 00:38:29,677 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? 745 00:38:29,804 --> 00:38:31,513 What's the matter? What happened with you guys? 746 00:38:31,639 --> 00:38:33,473 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. 747 00:38:38,478 --> 00:38:40,396 Allen, it's the only lead we have. 748 00:38:40,522 --> 00:38:42,856 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now. 749 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,317 Fine. Let's go see her. 750 00:38:58,206 --> 00:38:59,456 Hello, Christinith. 751 00:38:59,541 --> 00:39:01,166 Hello, Allen. 752 00:39:03,545 --> 00:39:06,338 - That's my partner, Terry. - Hi, Telly. 753 00:39:06,756 --> 00:39:09,925 - Holy shit. Dude. - Just relax, relax. 754 00:39:10,718 --> 00:39:15,097 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours. 755 00:39:16,057 --> 00:39:18,016 That was 13 years ago. 756 00:39:21,062 --> 00:39:26,024 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. Who wants some Arnie Palmies? 757 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,944 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. 758 00:39:29,070 --> 00:39:32,239 - Hal, just place it down, please. - All righty. 759 00:39:33,074 --> 00:39:34,283 Okay. 760 00:39:38,413 --> 00:39:43,542 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since. 761 00:39:43,626 --> 00:39:44,918 No. 762 00:39:45,044 --> 00:39:47,796 - Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. - Oh, no, he knows all of this. 763 00:39:47,922 --> 00:39:50,424 - You're a lucky dog. - It's true. 764 00:39:53,428 --> 00:39:55,304 Christine, this is a lovely house. 765 00:39:55,430 --> 00:39:58,432 It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf? 766 00:39:58,641 --> 00:40:01,268 Christinith, you idiot! 767 00:40:01,603 --> 00:40:05,939 You come to our house, you get my wife's name right! 768 00:40:06,399 --> 00:40:07,733 - What? - Christinith! 769 00:40:07,817 --> 00:40:10,611 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. 770 00:40:10,945 --> 00:40:13,071 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone. 771 00:40:13,155 --> 00:40:17,116 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping. 772 00:40:17,242 --> 00:40:22,622 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it 773 00:40:22,748 --> 00:40:26,250 and everyone else stay here. 774 00:40:26,627 --> 00:40:29,295 - Okay, sweetie. - Come on. 775 00:40:33,133 --> 00:40:35,510 - There's my phone. - Great, thank you for... 776 00:40:38,889 --> 00:40:42,308 I hate you, you son of a bitch! 777 00:40:42,392 --> 00:40:45,770 - You're so strong. - I'm stronger than you will ever know! 778 00:40:45,854 --> 00:40:48,898 I hate you! I hate you! 779 00:40:49,024 --> 00:40:52,485 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face. 780 00:40:52,569 --> 00:40:56,531 You go, "I wuv you." Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith." 781 00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:06,749 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy. 782 00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:08,834 But I'm not. 783 00:41:10,212 --> 00:41:11,712 Shaved. 784 00:41:12,214 --> 00:41:13,923 - Allen! - He's fine. 785 00:41:14,883 --> 00:41:16,092 Question. 786 00:41:17,135 --> 00:41:18,302 What would you rather be, 787 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,139 a bear or a dog? 788 00:41:22,307 --> 00:41:25,226 - I don't care. - I wanna be 789 00:41:26,603 --> 00:41:29,188 a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. 790 00:41:29,856 --> 00:41:32,233 'Cause that way, I could live in the house 791 00:41:32,484 --> 00:41:35,444 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods. 792 00:41:36,238 --> 00:41:37,405 Allen! 793 00:41:41,743 --> 00:41:43,202 Allen! Allen! 794 00:41:43,287 --> 00:41:46,497 - This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! - Hey! 795 00:41:46,582 --> 00:41:49,125 You get back here and you make love to my wife! 796 00:41:49,250 --> 00:41:50,750 Allen! Allen! 797 00:41:51,586 --> 00:41:55,130 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. 798 00:41:55,256 --> 00:41:57,465 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot. 799 00:41:57,592 --> 00:41:59,175 Your wife is crazy hot. 800 00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:02,304 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, she threw you a "Do me" vibe. 801 00:42:02,430 --> 00:42:04,055 What is it with you and hot ladies? 802 00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:07,517 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. 803 00:42:07,602 --> 00:42:11,688 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot. 804 00:42:11,772 --> 00:42:14,149 - You wanna listen to this message or not? - Yeah, whatever. 805 00:42:14,275 --> 00:42:15,817 You have one job, mate. 806 00:42:15,943 --> 00:42:17,902 Find a sucker to invest with you 807 00:42:17,987 --> 00:42:19,946 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost. 808 00:42:20,072 --> 00:42:21,239 And I don't care who. 809 00:42:21,324 --> 00:42:23,658 Right. I actually think I found a sucker... 810 00:42:23,784 --> 00:42:26,202 - He's talking to Ershon. to invest $32 billion. 811 00:42:26,287 --> 00:42:27,871 Who's got $32 billion to rob? 812 00:42:27,955 --> 00:42:30,248 Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records 813 00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:33,084 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer. 814 00:42:33,169 --> 00:42:36,838 Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue, 815 00:42:36,964 --> 00:42:38,506 and after that... 816 00:42:38,633 --> 00:42:40,383 I told you it wasn't a security team. 817 00:42:40,676 --> 00:42:43,845 - He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind... Holy... 818 00:42:43,971 --> 00:42:45,472 Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife! 819 00:42:45,556 --> 00:42:46,723 - Is that him? - Yeah! 820 00:42:46,807 --> 00:42:48,600 Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere! 821 00:42:48,684 --> 00:42:50,518 - Holy shit! - They chased us 20 miles. 822 00:42:50,645 --> 00:42:52,812 - You come back here! You get back here! - Allen! 823 00:43:00,571 --> 00:43:04,157 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery. 824 00:43:05,326 --> 00:43:06,993 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. 825 00:43:07,370 --> 00:43:09,788 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 826 00:43:09,872 --> 00:43:12,707 $32 billion. That's the state's money. 827 00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:15,001 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money. 828 00:43:15,086 --> 00:43:18,588 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address. It's still half a case. 829 00:43:18,673 --> 00:43:22,634 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail. If we can find that, we can track it, 830 00:43:22,718 --> 00:43:23,927 then we can go to Mauch. 831 00:43:24,678 --> 00:43:28,681 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, 832 00:43:28,765 --> 00:43:30,474 and I found some pretty interesting stuff. 833 00:43:30,558 --> 00:43:33,727 It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... 834 00:43:35,188 --> 00:43:36,855 Hold on, I'm up. 835 00:43:38,191 --> 00:43:41,235 I gave my love to Erin 836 00:43:42,195 --> 00:43:45,864 She promised to be true 837 00:43:46,408 --> 00:43:50,411 I went to war to come back 838 00:43:50,537 --> 00:43:54,456 And find five British soldiers 839 00:43:54,541 --> 00:43:57,751 Had their way with her 840 00:43:57,919 --> 00:44:02,297 It was consensual 841 00:44:03,049 --> 00:44:04,091 Done? 842 00:44:04,217 --> 00:44:07,136 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 843 00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:10,305 has only one client, David Ershon. 844 00:44:10,390 --> 00:44:12,933 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that. 845 00:44:13,059 --> 00:44:15,728 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. 846 00:44:15,812 --> 00:44:18,564 That's a shitty day. 847 00:44:19,816 --> 00:44:23,861 And all their fathers were hanged 848 00:44:23,945 --> 00:44:27,406 And the children all got pink eye 849 00:44:29,492 --> 00:44:36,331 While their Harry Potter books were burned 850 00:44:41,963 --> 00:44:44,381 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing. 851 00:44:44,466 --> 00:44:46,925 I do. They're full of rich history. 852 00:44:48,094 --> 00:44:50,095 Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed to go meet my lady. 853 00:44:50,180 --> 00:44:52,556 I thought you said you guys split up. 854 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,184 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? 855 00:44:55,268 --> 00:44:56,852 All right. Goodbye, buddy. 856 00:44:56,936 --> 00:44:58,937 Hey, get off me, man. 857 00:45:17,539 --> 00:45:20,249 What the hell are you doing? 858 00:45:20,334 --> 00:45:22,919 I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here? 859 00:45:23,003 --> 00:45:25,171 I love you, Francine. 860 00:45:25,297 --> 00:45:28,508 If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills! 861 00:45:28,634 --> 00:45:33,638 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal. 862 00:45:33,722 --> 00:45:35,765 He loves you very much, Francine. 863 00:45:35,849 --> 00:45:38,309 - Who is this guy? - What are you doing here, Allen? 864 00:45:38,393 --> 00:45:40,019 It's the code. I'm your partner. 865 00:45:40,229 --> 00:45:43,272 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague. 866 00:45:43,357 --> 00:45:44,857 Francine, is this guy bothering you? 867 00:45:44,983 --> 00:45:47,819 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend. 868 00:45:47,903 --> 00:45:51,322 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? 869 00:45:51,406 --> 00:45:53,199 I know that this is a big surprise, 870 00:45:53,325 --> 00:45:56,160 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay? 871 00:45:56,829 --> 00:45:59,664 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance. 872 00:45:59,748 --> 00:46:01,541 What, you don't think I can do this shit? 873 00:46:18,058 --> 00:46:20,268 That was surprisingly good, Terry. 874 00:46:20,561 --> 00:46:23,271 - I love you, Francine. - You don't know what love is. 875 00:46:23,355 --> 00:46:25,314 He loves you very much, Francine! 876 00:46:25,399 --> 00:46:27,316 I heard it when he said it. Thank you. 877 00:46:27,401 --> 00:46:29,610 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside. 878 00:46:29,695 --> 00:46:30,820 And don't eyeball me, man! 879 00:46:30,904 --> 00:46:32,864 You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict? 880 00:46:32,948 --> 00:46:34,031 Terry! 881 00:46:34,116 --> 00:46:35,825 He does not approve of your behavior! 882 00:46:35,909 --> 00:46:37,869 Can you please go? 883 00:46:37,952 --> 00:46:40,245 And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door? 884 00:46:44,375 --> 00:46:45,584 Let's go, Allen. 885 00:46:46,043 --> 00:46:48,628 I think we all experienced our own ballet today. 886 00:46:48,963 --> 00:46:50,755 The ballet of emotion and feelings. 887 00:46:51,215 --> 00:46:52,799 You're kind of making things worse. 888 00:47:02,393 --> 00:47:05,228 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 889 00:47:06,731 --> 00:47:09,232 Hey, I didn't know you could dance. 890 00:47:10,109 --> 00:47:12,569 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids, 891 00:47:12,653 --> 00:47:14,070 show them how queer they were, okay? 892 00:47:15,948 --> 00:47:18,950 - You learned to dance like that sarcastically? - Yeah, I guess. 893 00:47:19,076 --> 00:47:22,579 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private. 894 00:47:22,663 --> 00:47:25,832 Stay focused on the case, man. I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow. 895 00:47:26,250 --> 00:47:27,834 All right, Terry. 896 00:47:28,419 --> 00:47:31,963 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you. 897 00:47:54,487 --> 00:47:57,864 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago. 898 00:47:57,949 --> 00:47:59,532 Talking about how the lottery is looking 899 00:47:59,617 --> 00:48:02,369 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively. 900 00:48:02,620 --> 00:48:03,620 So he's dealing drugs? 901 00:48:04,205 --> 00:48:07,999 No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. 902 00:48:11,128 --> 00:48:12,963 Look, I'm sorry. I just... 903 00:48:13,630 --> 00:48:18,342 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night. 904 00:48:18,885 --> 00:48:20,260 What happened? 905 00:48:22,138 --> 00:48:24,974 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right? 906 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,518 Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? 907 00:48:27,811 --> 00:48:30,479 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now. 908 00:48:31,106 --> 00:48:33,065 It's always about her. 909 00:48:33,483 --> 00:48:35,442 Yeah, that's... That's messed up. 910 00:48:37,153 --> 00:48:38,320 Hey, I got you a gift. 911 00:48:39,155 --> 00:48:42,908 I just saw something, and I thought of you, and so, I don't want it to be weird. 912 00:48:42,993 --> 00:48:44,159 I just wanted to be nice. 913 00:48:44,244 --> 00:48:45,577 Of course it's weird. 914 00:48:45,662 --> 00:48:47,496 It's a grown man giving another man a present. 915 00:48:49,165 --> 00:48:51,500 There you go. Open it up. 916 00:48:52,085 --> 00:48:54,003 It's okay, you're welcome. 917 00:48:54,504 --> 00:48:56,505 I like to do things like that. 918 00:48:56,631 --> 00:48:58,674 Take a look what it says. 919 00:49:07,475 --> 00:49:09,935 You know, because we're both in law enforcement. 920 00:49:10,061 --> 00:49:11,603 We both like women. 921 00:49:11,730 --> 00:49:14,732 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy. 922 00:49:15,066 --> 00:49:17,192 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. 923 00:49:17,277 --> 00:49:18,569 Me, too. 924 00:49:21,990 --> 00:49:25,159 Real nice. You know, it's all class. 925 00:49:27,412 --> 00:49:28,787 - Okay. - Don't do that shit any more. 926 00:49:28,913 --> 00:49:30,622 Yeah, believe me, I won't. 927 00:49:30,999 --> 00:49:33,292 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though? 928 00:49:34,919 --> 00:49:38,464 'Cause it's the FBI, right? It has the same logo, the same shield. 929 00:49:38,590 --> 00:49:41,633 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBI." 930 00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:46,597 But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body Inspector"? 931 00:49:46,681 --> 00:49:48,849 Get out of town. This is outrageous... 932 00:49:48,933 --> 00:49:50,267 Shut up! 933 00:50:02,780 --> 00:50:04,947 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours 934 00:50:05,032 --> 00:50:06,115 one of these days, 935 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,367 and it's gonna be glorious. 936 00:50:11,955 --> 00:50:14,582 Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out? 937 00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,292 For what? We're just going to check it out. 938 00:50:16,376 --> 00:50:18,795 I know, but it's procedure. 939 00:50:18,879 --> 00:50:21,005 Terry answers to no one. 940 00:50:21,673 --> 00:50:23,841 I do what I do. 941 00:50:24,885 --> 00:50:27,345 What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. On a Tuesday? 942 00:50:27,471 --> 00:50:28,679 This is a shithole. 943 00:50:36,355 --> 00:50:37,438 I love bombs. 944 00:50:37,523 --> 00:50:40,691 I can't hear! I can't hear! 945 00:50:42,152 --> 00:50:44,153 There's blood blisters on my hands! 946 00:50:44,238 --> 00:50:45,321 Oh, my God! 947 00:50:45,405 --> 00:50:47,698 How do they walk away in movies without flinching 948 00:50:47,825 --> 00:50:49,492 when it explodes behind them? 949 00:50:49,576 --> 00:50:52,829 There's no way! I call bullshit on that! 950 00:50:53,163 --> 00:50:56,499 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, 951 00:50:56,583 --> 00:51:00,586 and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit! 952 00:51:00,671 --> 00:51:03,965 Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate! 953 00:51:04,049 --> 00:51:06,008 I need an MRI. 954 00:51:06,093 --> 00:51:10,388 I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage. 955 00:51:10,848 --> 00:51:12,890 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage. 956 00:51:13,016 --> 00:51:14,058 Please stop. 957 00:51:14,184 --> 00:51:15,852 I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now! 958 00:51:20,023 --> 00:51:24,402 Fire Department said it was a gas leak, but no way. That was timed. 959 00:51:24,528 --> 00:51:26,279 They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us. 960 00:51:26,362 --> 00:51:28,864 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? 961 00:51:28,948 --> 00:51:31,575 I'm tired of this. All right? 962 00:51:31,701 --> 00:51:34,202 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. 963 00:51:34,287 --> 00:51:36,413 I wanna go back to my desk. 964 00:51:36,539 --> 00:51:40,000 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears. 965 00:51:40,084 --> 00:51:42,544 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life. 966 00:51:42,628 --> 00:51:45,380 You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years, okay? 967 00:51:45,464 --> 00:51:48,383 There's no explosions at my desk. 968 00:51:48,467 --> 00:51:53,388 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house. 969 00:51:55,725 --> 00:51:57,475 What are you afraid of, man? 970 00:51:58,603 --> 00:52:03,106 I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from? 971 00:52:03,900 --> 00:52:06,234 I was a sophomore in college. 972 00:52:07,612 --> 00:52:11,740 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition. 973 00:52:12,825 --> 00:52:18,663 A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort to raise money and stay in school, 974 00:52:18,748 --> 00:52:20,707 came up with a nifty plan 975 00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:23,251 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money. 976 00:52:23,419 --> 00:52:25,003 I go on dates all the time, 977 00:52:25,087 --> 00:52:27,214 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff. 978 00:52:27,298 --> 00:52:30,634 And I kind of need somebody to help me out, like, you know, my partner in crime. 979 00:52:31,260 --> 00:52:33,470 Yeah, I could make a schedule. 980 00:52:33,596 --> 00:52:35,138 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. 981 00:52:35,264 --> 00:52:37,766 - Provide transportation services. - Yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:39,976 - It's gonna be a good time. - Thanks so much for asking me. 983 00:52:40,102 --> 00:52:42,520 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay 984 00:52:42,605 --> 00:52:46,066 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage. 985 00:52:46,150 --> 00:52:49,444 - Oh, my God. You were a pimp. - What? God, no. 986 00:52:49,528 --> 00:52:51,613 No, I was just trying to help a friend. 987 00:52:51,697 --> 00:52:54,282 We started making a lot of money. 988 00:52:55,284 --> 00:52:58,161 And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends 989 00:52:58,287 --> 00:53:00,956 decided they wanted to be a part of it. 990 00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,708 Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting 991 00:53:03,792 --> 00:53:05,417 while they gave me money. 992 00:53:05,502 --> 00:53:07,044 That's called a stable of whores. 993 00:53:07,963 --> 00:53:12,883 We decided I shouldn't use my real name. So we came up with the name "Gator." 994 00:53:13,134 --> 00:53:14,593 I'm telling you, you were a pimp. 995 00:53:14,678 --> 00:53:17,304 No! Are you even listening to the story? 996 00:53:20,141 --> 00:53:22,184 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror, 997 00:53:22,310 --> 00:53:24,520 and I don't like what I see. 998 00:53:25,814 --> 00:53:29,316 I mean, I had gotten out of control, and I didn't even realize it. 999 00:53:30,151 --> 00:53:32,486 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game. 1000 00:53:33,196 --> 00:53:34,947 One night, two of my favorite girls, 1001 00:53:35,031 --> 00:53:37,241 Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in," 1002 00:53:37,325 --> 00:53:39,618 and they dropped me off at the emergency room. 1003 00:53:39,703 --> 00:53:41,620 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. 1004 00:53:41,705 --> 00:53:46,917 I made a promise to myself and to her that I would never get out of control again. 1005 00:53:47,752 --> 00:53:49,128 So, as soon as I graduated from college, 1006 00:53:49,212 --> 00:53:52,172 I became an accountant for the police department. 1007 00:53:52,757 --> 00:53:55,509 The most stable job I could think of. 1008 00:53:57,053 --> 00:53:59,513 An accountant for law and order. 1009 00:54:01,766 --> 00:54:05,853 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again. 1010 00:54:05,937 --> 00:54:08,647 Don't worry. I got your back. 1011 00:54:08,732 --> 00:54:11,150 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks. 1012 00:54:11,234 --> 00:54:15,029 - I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. - Okay. 1013 00:54:15,363 --> 00:54:18,073 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off. 1014 00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:19,783 The choice is yours. 1015 00:54:19,868 --> 00:54:24,121 - I want to take my panties off. - You've made a wise choice, you have. 1016 00:54:24,205 --> 00:54:29,043 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here. 1017 00:54:29,544 --> 00:54:30,794 Gentlemen, please. 1018 00:54:30,879 --> 00:54:34,173 - Remember us, hotshot? - Of course I do. Please, sit. 1019 00:54:34,257 --> 00:54:35,924 There she blows. 1020 00:54:38,386 --> 00:54:41,597 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber. 1021 00:54:41,722 --> 00:54:44,807 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office. 1022 00:54:45,142 --> 00:54:47,393 Yes, that awful gas leak. 1023 00:54:47,478 --> 00:54:51,397 Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now. 1024 00:54:51,482 --> 00:54:56,527 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. 1025 00:54:56,612 --> 00:54:59,322 I absolutely abhor death. 1026 00:54:59,573 --> 00:55:03,076 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay? 1027 00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:04,994 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you. 1028 00:55:05,079 --> 00:55:07,413 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. 1029 00:55:07,498 --> 00:55:09,832 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises. 1030 00:55:10,250 --> 00:55:12,960 God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water? 1031 00:55:13,087 --> 00:55:14,545 Shut up, Allen. 1032 00:55:14,630 --> 00:55:17,924 I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1033 00:55:18,008 --> 00:55:21,928 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business. 1034 00:55:22,012 --> 00:55:27,433 The cucumber accents the water in such a way that... 1035 00:55:28,602 --> 00:55:33,314 Perhaps by way of apology, I can offer you my personal courtside seats 1036 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:37,610 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club. 1037 00:55:39,947 --> 00:55:44,784 Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever and it's catching! 1038 00:55:46,453 --> 00:55:50,456 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe. 1039 00:55:50,541 --> 00:55:55,086 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind. 1040 00:55:55,170 --> 00:55:56,462 Come on. 1041 00:55:57,297 --> 00:55:58,631 Call me! 1042 00:56:00,134 --> 00:56:01,884 - Excuse me. - That was a trick. 1043 00:56:01,969 --> 00:56:03,344 No more. 1044 00:56:03,470 --> 00:56:08,808 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys. 1045 00:56:12,146 --> 00:56:15,189 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable! 1046 00:56:19,694 --> 00:56:21,653 Damn it. He did it again. 1047 00:56:22,572 --> 00:56:24,865 - Excuse me. - No more tickets. 1048 00:56:24,991 --> 00:56:26,867 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. 1049 00:56:26,993 --> 00:56:30,203 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes. 1050 00:56:30,329 --> 00:56:32,164 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that. 1051 00:56:32,248 --> 00:56:34,291 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water. 1052 00:56:34,375 --> 00:56:38,837 - How great is Jersey Boys? - It's not great. It's fantastic! 1053 00:56:38,921 --> 00:56:42,257 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes. 1054 00:56:42,341 --> 00:56:43,967 Wow, what a musical. 1055 00:56:44,051 --> 00:56:45,927 Hey. Get over here. 1056 00:56:47,054 --> 00:56:48,221 - What's wrong with you? - What? 1057 00:56:48,347 --> 00:56:49,848 That's not what we're here for. 1058 00:56:50,725 --> 00:56:52,851 We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay? 1059 00:56:53,102 --> 00:56:56,146 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works. 1060 00:56:56,230 --> 00:56:57,564 I come strong, then you come in. 1061 00:56:57,690 --> 00:56:58,732 - You got it? - Yeah. 1062 00:56:58,858 --> 00:57:01,485 - I come strong, then you come in. - Right. Got it. 1063 00:57:01,569 --> 00:57:03,528 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. 1064 00:57:03,738 --> 00:57:06,323 It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart! 1065 00:57:06,407 --> 00:57:10,619 How did you cover your losses up? What drug cartel are you working with now? 1066 00:57:10,703 --> 00:57:14,623 - Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! - No, no, look at me! 1067 00:57:14,707 --> 00:57:17,167 You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me? 1068 00:57:17,251 --> 00:57:20,754 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen! 1069 00:57:21,589 --> 00:57:23,882 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit! 1070 00:57:24,550 --> 00:57:26,301 Get away from me! 1071 00:57:31,057 --> 00:57:32,474 Where is he? 1072 00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,103 Look, I'm really sorry about that. 1073 00:57:37,939 --> 00:57:40,482 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought, 1074 00:57:40,566 --> 00:57:44,194 "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since we're doing bad cop, bad cop." 1075 00:57:44,278 --> 00:57:49,366 What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop. 1076 00:57:49,450 --> 00:57:53,912 Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop." 1077 00:57:54,246 --> 00:57:57,623 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk. 1078 00:57:57,749 --> 00:57:59,792 - Think it's his phone sheet. - Nice. 1079 00:58:00,126 --> 00:58:01,835 Seven calls to the lottery office. 1080 00:58:02,170 --> 00:58:03,754 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch. 1081 00:58:06,466 --> 00:58:09,343 - Get back. Colombian drug lords. - Where are you getting that from? 1082 00:58:11,137 --> 00:58:12,346 Jesus! 1083 00:58:21,147 --> 00:58:23,607 Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter? 1084 00:58:31,449 --> 00:58:34,743 - We call this in, right? - Looks like we got all the evidence we need. 1085 00:58:34,828 --> 00:58:36,954 I'm sorry, my butterfly. 1086 00:58:38,290 --> 00:58:41,208 We'll load them up, send them back to go. 1087 00:58:49,968 --> 00:58:53,262 - Holy shit. - What? 1088 00:58:53,346 --> 00:58:56,056 What do you mean, what? Where are we? 1089 00:58:57,475 --> 00:58:58,851 We're in the high desert. 1090 00:58:58,977 --> 00:59:02,688 They took my shoes again, man! What the hell is it with taking shoes? 1091 00:59:02,814 --> 00:59:04,315 - They took your wooden gun? - Yeah. 1092 00:59:10,864 --> 00:59:13,115 - Hello? - Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain. 1093 00:59:13,199 --> 00:59:14,617 Captain, it's Allen Gamble. 1094 00:59:14,701 --> 00:59:16,535 Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on? 1095 00:59:16,661 --> 00:59:18,912 Captain, it's a long story, but I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 1096 00:59:18,997 --> 00:59:20,956 We are in Las Vegas, all right? 1097 00:59:21,041 --> 00:59:24,418 We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, and shipped out here. 1098 00:59:24,502 --> 00:59:26,920 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. 1099 00:59:27,005 --> 00:59:28,380 Captain, I am being straight with you. 1100 00:59:28,505 --> 00:59:30,798 Look, we think something's going on, okay? 1101 00:59:30,883 --> 00:59:33,760 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses. 1102 00:59:33,844 --> 00:59:39,265 Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"? 1103 00:59:39,767 --> 00:59:41,059 Terry, Captain wants to know 1104 00:59:41,185 --> 00:59:43,061 how many times has he asked us to lay off Ershon. 1105 00:59:43,187 --> 00:59:44,228 Twice. 1106 00:59:45,064 --> 00:59:46,856 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. 1107 00:59:46,940 --> 00:59:49,025 I'm hanging up. I'm done. 1108 00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:57,867 I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand for that, a taste for that Pai Gow. 1109 00:59:58,535 --> 01:00:03,122 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two... 1110 01:00:03,207 --> 01:00:09,087 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou. 1111 01:00:10,214 --> 01:00:11,631 Solved the Castien case. 1112 01:00:11,715 --> 01:00:14,509 $74,000? That's all they took? 1113 01:00:14,593 --> 01:00:16,844 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place. 1114 01:00:16,929 --> 01:00:19,097 How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face? 1115 01:00:19,223 --> 01:00:20,765 All right? Just shut it. 1116 01:00:20,891 --> 01:00:22,475 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. 1117 01:00:25,437 --> 01:00:27,689 I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted? 1118 01:00:27,773 --> 01:00:29,065 - Captain? - Yeah. 1119 01:00:29,149 --> 01:00:31,651 - Is it a bad time? - No, come on. Come on. 1120 01:00:32,069 --> 01:00:33,861 - Not me, right? - Yeah, and you. 1121 01:00:33,946 --> 01:00:37,657 Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with the venerable DA Radford. 1122 01:00:37,741 --> 01:00:39,409 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. 1123 01:00:39,493 --> 01:00:40,743 Hello, gentlemen. 1124 01:00:40,828 --> 01:00:41,953 - Hello, sir. - Hey. 1125 01:00:42,079 --> 01:00:45,415 - You know, I was talking to Gene here. - He prefers "Captain." 1126 01:00:45,499 --> 01:00:49,001 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny. 1127 01:00:49,294 --> 01:00:51,546 I don't know what you two have been up to, 1128 01:00:51,630 --> 01:00:55,007 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from. 1129 01:00:55,092 --> 01:00:58,010 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I've learned one thing. 1130 01:00:58,637 --> 01:01:00,346 When that happens, stop. 1131 01:01:01,932 --> 01:01:05,017 - Gene, how's the family? - Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking. 1132 01:01:05,101 --> 01:01:07,102 - My son's bisexual, so... - Tremendous. 1133 01:01:09,939 --> 01:01:11,440 Gentlemen, do we understand each other? 1134 01:01:12,775 --> 01:01:14,943 - Cut the crap! - Will do. 1135 01:01:19,282 --> 01:01:20,699 Guy never comes down here. 1136 01:01:20,783 --> 01:01:23,618 Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy in this building one time. 1137 01:01:23,703 --> 01:01:26,872 - He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. - He was sitting right here. 1138 01:01:27,290 --> 01:01:30,709 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look. 1139 01:01:30,793 --> 01:01:34,212 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry. 1140 01:01:35,882 --> 01:01:37,382 You know what? 1141 01:01:38,050 --> 01:01:40,010 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun. 1142 01:01:40,136 --> 01:01:41,970 - To give me back my real gun? - No. 1143 01:01:42,054 --> 01:01:44,139 'Cause I'm gonna give you this. 1144 01:01:44,849 --> 01:01:48,018 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble 1145 01:01:48,644 --> 01:01:51,188 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out. 1146 01:01:52,565 --> 01:01:57,235 We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real! Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery! 1147 01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:02,199 Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence you think you have to the SEC. 1148 01:02:02,325 --> 01:02:04,117 The financial district's under their jurisdiction. 1149 01:02:04,202 --> 01:02:06,661 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us! 1150 01:02:06,746 --> 01:02:09,873 I'm a peacock, Captain! You gotta let me fly on this one! 1151 01:02:09,999 --> 01:02:12,834 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly. 1152 01:02:12,919 --> 01:02:16,379 - They fly, they fly a little bit. - Yeah, about as much as a penguin. 1153 01:02:16,506 --> 01:02:20,091 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls. 1154 01:02:20,843 --> 01:02:23,345 Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose? 1155 01:02:24,180 --> 01:02:25,263 I don't even understand the reference. 1156 01:02:25,848 --> 01:02:27,933 - You don't understand what you said? - I don't know what that is. 1157 01:02:28,017 --> 01:02:29,518 Get out. Go. 1158 01:02:40,196 --> 01:02:42,447 How did they get that story? 1159 01:02:44,032 --> 01:02:46,951 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing. 1160 01:02:47,035 --> 01:02:48,118 Hey, guys. 1161 01:02:48,537 --> 01:02:52,373 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, 1162 01:02:52,457 --> 01:02:55,334 - so if you just wanna come by the old... - Damn it, Bob! 1163 01:02:55,418 --> 01:02:56,502 Let me ask you something. 1164 01:02:56,586 --> 01:02:59,004 What do you even do around here besides interrupt people? 1165 01:02:59,089 --> 01:03:02,091 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. 1166 01:03:02,217 --> 01:03:05,010 I make a wicked pot of decaf. 1167 01:03:05,095 --> 01:03:08,389 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit! 1168 01:03:10,267 --> 01:03:13,936 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. 1169 01:03:14,688 --> 01:03:16,522 I'm gonna go for a walk. 1170 01:03:16,606 --> 01:03:17,856 - Bob! - Say something. 1171 01:03:17,983 --> 01:03:19,858 Come on! Bob! 1172 01:03:19,943 --> 01:03:22,861 I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset. 1173 01:03:40,672 --> 01:03:45,759 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece. 1174 01:03:46,136 --> 01:03:48,220 - This coffee table? - Yes. We don't put drinks on it. 1175 01:03:52,017 --> 01:03:54,685 - Five hundred thousand? - He can read! Congratulations. 1176 01:03:55,145 --> 01:03:57,313 - What? - I'm sorry, are you in the right place? 1177 01:03:57,397 --> 01:03:59,690 Or not? I'm... 1178 01:04:00,900 --> 01:04:02,067 - Terry. - Does he... Okay. 1179 01:04:02,152 --> 01:04:05,404 - Well... - Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here? 1180 01:04:06,656 --> 01:04:11,035 - I want to be with you. - No, Terry, that's not gonna happen. 1181 01:04:11,411 --> 01:04:14,038 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos. 1182 01:04:14,873 --> 01:04:16,915 Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables? 1183 01:04:17,083 --> 01:04:18,626 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense! 1184 01:04:18,709 --> 01:04:21,127 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. 1185 01:04:21,503 --> 01:04:25,715 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos. 1186 01:04:26,175 --> 01:04:28,176 You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap? 1187 01:04:28,552 --> 01:04:33,014 This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents our shattered sense of community 1188 01:04:33,349 --> 01:04:35,099 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. 1189 01:04:35,434 --> 01:04:37,977 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman or Frank Stella. 1190 01:04:38,646 --> 01:04:39,937 How did you know that, Terry? 1191 01:04:40,439 --> 01:04:41,814 I took some classes at RISD 1192 01:04:41,899 --> 01:04:44,192 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood. 1193 01:04:44,276 --> 01:04:46,694 - Terry, lower your voice! - I don't have to lower my voice. 1194 01:04:46,779 --> 01:04:49,572 - Is this man bothering you? - Are you actually having sex with this creep? 1195 01:04:49,907 --> 01:04:51,741 Terry, he's gay. Okay? 1196 01:04:52,993 --> 01:04:55,662 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm gay"! 1197 01:04:55,954 --> 01:04:57,789 All right? And also, he is my boss. 1198 01:04:58,123 --> 01:04:59,290 Happy for you, man. Good. 1199 01:04:59,375 --> 01:05:01,250 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady. 1200 01:05:01,460 --> 01:05:04,796 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now. 1201 01:05:05,214 --> 01:05:07,298 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. 1202 01:05:08,509 --> 01:05:10,468 Terry, what are you doing? 1203 01:05:10,969 --> 01:05:14,347 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay? 1204 01:05:14,682 --> 01:05:15,932 Just give me one more year. 1205 01:05:16,350 --> 01:05:18,768 Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done. 1206 01:05:19,269 --> 01:05:20,311 Fine. 1207 01:05:20,813 --> 01:05:23,981 - Terry, don't touch that! Terry! - Oh, my God! 1208 01:05:24,316 --> 01:05:26,275 I don't need this shit. I don't need you! 1209 01:05:27,277 --> 01:05:29,362 And when you call me, I'm not coming back! 1210 01:05:30,656 --> 01:05:33,700 - Oh, boy! Over the top! - How outre! 1211 01:05:34,076 --> 01:05:36,202 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground! 1212 01:05:37,496 --> 01:05:39,831 - Fresh! Energetic! - I love his rawness! 1213 01:05:40,207 --> 01:05:43,751 Stop critiquing me, okay? I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art! 1214 01:05:44,044 --> 01:05:45,878 - Yes, you are. - Bravo! 1215 01:05:46,213 --> 01:05:48,923 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow! 1216 01:05:49,591 --> 01:05:51,676 Yes! Yes! 1217 01:06:01,310 --> 01:06:03,895 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole. 1218 01:06:04,021 --> 01:06:05,689 - Sweetie. - You know what, I'm sitting here thinking, 1219 01:06:05,815 --> 01:06:08,942 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole 1220 01:06:09,026 --> 01:06:10,986 "and serve it to their husband?" 1221 01:06:11,070 --> 01:06:14,489 - You would. - You are being awful. What's wrong? 1222 01:06:14,574 --> 01:06:19,327 - Captain took us off the case. - I'm sorry. 1223 01:06:20,204 --> 01:06:25,000 I told Terry about my dark days in college, and it brought up some feelings. 1224 01:06:25,418 --> 01:06:30,630 Well, honey dick, that was a long time ago. You're not that same person you were. 1225 01:06:30,757 --> 01:06:34,176 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me. 1226 01:06:34,302 --> 01:06:37,262 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. 1227 01:06:37,346 --> 01:06:40,474 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes. 1228 01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:45,145 And it wants to walk up with the people and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit." 1229 01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:46,813 - You feel me? - Yeah. 1230 01:06:46,939 --> 01:06:50,984 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit. 1231 01:06:54,030 --> 01:06:56,031 - Sweetie, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 1232 01:06:56,657 --> 01:07:00,035 - I just... - Remember that night we met? 1233 01:07:00,828 --> 01:07:05,499 The attending physician told me, "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back." 1234 01:07:06,209 --> 01:07:09,628 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain, 1235 01:07:09,712 --> 01:07:11,296 and I saw you. 1236 01:07:12,006 --> 01:07:14,883 You were weak, scared, 1237 01:07:15,009 --> 01:07:19,095 ass up, inflamed, crying. 1238 01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:24,351 At that moment, I knew. "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry." 1239 01:07:25,311 --> 01:07:33,610 Pimps don't cry 1240 01:07:33,693 --> 01:07:36,654 No, they don't 1241 01:07:37,030 --> 01:07:39,990 They don't shed a tear 1242 01:07:40,700 --> 01:07:46,038 Pimps don't cry 1243 01:07:46,248 --> 01:07:48,207 They never shed a tear 1244 01:07:53,046 --> 01:07:56,507 Come lay with me. Be safe, and let's make love. Come on. 1245 01:07:56,591 --> 01:07:59,009 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart. 1246 01:07:59,094 --> 01:08:01,720 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be. 1247 01:08:03,265 --> 01:08:05,766 Allen, I'm pregnant. 1248 01:08:06,685 --> 01:08:08,018 Whose baby is that? 1249 01:08:08,103 --> 01:08:11,564 Who's the man who did that to you? Gator's bitches better be using jimmies! 1250 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,485 I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about. 1251 01:08:16,570 --> 01:08:18,237 Oh, my God. 1252 01:08:20,073 --> 01:08:21,490 You need to leave. 1253 01:08:21,575 --> 01:08:25,244 Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out! 1254 01:08:41,970 --> 01:08:43,095 Hey. 1255 01:08:44,139 --> 01:08:46,724 Hey. What are you doing here? 1256 01:08:49,144 --> 01:08:54,231 Come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here about every night. 1257 01:08:54,316 --> 01:08:56,400 What are you doing here? 1258 01:08:57,569 --> 01:09:00,070 Sheila and I got into it tonight. 1259 01:09:00,947 --> 01:09:03,240 She threw me out. 1260 01:09:04,284 --> 01:09:07,286 Well, you're not a cop till your wife throws you out of the house, partner. 1261 01:09:07,411 --> 01:09:11,247 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers only took 74 grand in diamonds? 1262 01:09:11,582 --> 01:09:14,000 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... 1263 01:09:14,126 --> 01:09:17,879 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though. 1264 01:09:17,963 --> 01:09:19,005 How you fellas doing? 1265 01:09:20,549 --> 01:09:23,718 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here 1266 01:09:23,844 --> 01:09:25,053 if you wanna join us. 1267 01:09:25,137 --> 01:09:27,221 You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay? 1268 01:09:27,556 --> 01:09:30,391 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos 1269 01:09:30,851 --> 01:09:32,769 with fingers in each other's pooper 1270 01:09:32,853 --> 01:09:35,647 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud. 1271 01:09:35,731 --> 01:09:36,898 It's gonna be a nice evening. 1272 01:09:37,232 --> 01:09:39,567 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest. 1273 01:09:39,735 --> 01:09:40,860 Let me rephrase it. 1274 01:09:41,236 --> 01:09:44,072 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle, 1275 01:09:44,281 --> 01:09:47,450 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's. 1276 01:09:47,785 --> 01:09:49,619 Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? 1277 01:09:49,703 --> 01:09:52,246 - How do you know who we are? - You left a note in that car. 1278 01:09:52,331 --> 01:09:54,916 - Police, shithead. - He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on! 1279 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,834 Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops! 1280 01:09:57,294 --> 01:09:59,045 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away! 1281 01:09:59,129 --> 01:10:01,464 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare! 1282 01:10:01,590 --> 01:10:05,259 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again! 1283 01:10:07,388 --> 01:10:09,055 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. 1284 01:10:09,139 --> 01:10:10,932 Fortunately, I know where you're gonna be drinking. 1285 01:10:11,058 --> 01:10:13,309 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. 1286 01:10:13,894 --> 01:10:15,561 - No, I already have a beer. - No, no, no, no. 1287 01:10:15,896 --> 01:10:18,231 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking. 1288 01:10:18,357 --> 01:10:19,691 Drinking with Terry Hoitz. 1289 01:11:08,573 --> 01:11:10,407 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case, 1290 01:11:10,491 --> 01:11:12,075 now we gotta hand over all of our evidence? 1291 01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,410 Yeah, it's not right. 1292 01:11:13,494 --> 01:11:15,579 Oh, my God, I'm hungover. 1293 01:11:17,957 --> 01:11:19,124 So, you guys are law enforcement? 1294 01:11:19,459 --> 01:11:21,334 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who, 1295 01:11:21,461 --> 01:11:23,295 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve, 1296 01:11:23,421 --> 01:11:25,589 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud. 1297 01:11:25,923 --> 01:11:28,508 And the Federal Reserve is a prison? 1298 01:11:28,801 --> 01:11:31,511 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates 1299 01:11:31,637 --> 01:11:33,013 and loans money to other banks. 1300 01:11:33,598 --> 01:11:35,766 - Is that a wastebasket? - Yeah, right there. 1301 01:11:35,850 --> 01:11:37,267 Thank you. 1302 01:11:38,978 --> 01:11:42,314 - You all right? - Holy hell! 1303 01:11:43,941 --> 01:11:45,650 I'm so sorry. 1304 01:11:46,194 --> 01:11:47,569 I got so drunk last night. 1305 01:11:47,653 --> 01:11:51,531 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. 1306 01:11:52,658 --> 01:11:54,451 Come on in, fellas. 1307 01:11:55,495 --> 01:11:57,704 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer. 1308 01:11:57,830 --> 01:11:59,539 We're turning over our investigation to you? 1309 01:11:59,999 --> 01:12:02,209 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interest 1310 01:12:02,335 --> 01:12:03,752 between me and David Ershon. 1311 01:12:03,836 --> 01:12:07,964 And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself. 1312 01:12:08,049 --> 01:12:12,302 This is all the evidence we have, and I truly hope you take this seriously. 1313 01:12:12,386 --> 01:12:13,678 Yes. Very much so. 1314 01:12:13,805 --> 01:12:15,514 From everything I've heard, I understand 1315 01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:18,850 you guys are the best at these types of investigations. 1316 01:12:18,976 --> 01:12:21,686 Outside of Enron and AIG 1317 01:12:21,812 --> 01:12:23,229 and Bernie Madoff, 1318 01:12:23,855 --> 01:12:26,565 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. 1319 01:12:26,691 --> 01:12:28,526 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. 1320 01:12:28,652 --> 01:12:30,402 - Would you like a seat, or you're fine? - No, I'm good. 1321 01:12:30,529 --> 01:12:32,154 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, 1322 01:12:32,572 --> 01:12:35,074 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. 1323 01:12:35,867 --> 01:12:37,576 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club, 1324 01:12:37,702 --> 01:12:38,786 and we're having dinner. 1325 01:12:38,870 --> 01:12:41,163 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey, 1326 01:12:41,248 --> 01:12:43,332 you play squash with Ershon, right? 1327 01:12:43,416 --> 01:12:46,669 Your kids go to school with his? How would you know if he's clean or not? 1328 01:12:46,753 --> 01:12:48,420 I will take a look at your evidence, 1329 01:12:48,547 --> 01:12:49,713 and I will take a second look at the financials. 1330 01:12:50,423 --> 01:12:52,508 And when I come back and bust your ass, 1331 01:12:52,592 --> 01:12:55,094 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve! 1332 01:12:55,220 --> 01:12:56,679 He still doesn't understand the concept. 1333 01:13:18,034 --> 01:13:19,410 What are you doing? 1334 01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:23,414 We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer! 1335 01:13:23,498 --> 01:13:25,749 Are you a big man, huh? 1336 01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,293 - I'm talking to you. - What? 1337 01:13:27,460 --> 01:13:30,212 You wake up in the morning, you say, "I'm putting on my big boy pants"? 1338 01:13:30,297 --> 01:13:31,547 "Look, I'm wearing a belt! 1339 01:13:31,631 --> 01:13:33,799 - "I've got big boy pants on!" - No! 1340 01:13:34,009 --> 01:13:35,801 You borrow a little jacket, you go? 1341 01:13:35,969 --> 01:13:38,053 You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on? 1342 01:13:38,555 --> 01:13:40,389 You got your big boy pants and your snack? 1343 01:13:41,141 --> 01:13:42,808 I could say big, loud things! 1344 01:13:43,310 --> 01:13:44,685 I could be demonstrative! 1345 01:13:45,020 --> 01:13:46,937 - Stop! - We don't, we don't do this! 1346 01:13:47,022 --> 01:13:49,148 You're scaring the shit out of me, man! Stop it! 1347 01:13:49,232 --> 01:13:52,443 Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy? 1348 01:13:52,527 --> 01:13:54,194 What the hell are you doing, man? 1349 01:13:54,654 --> 01:13:59,033 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. 1350 01:13:59,950 --> 01:14:01,618 It's exhausting. 1351 01:14:03,746 --> 01:14:05,622 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk. 1352 01:14:05,998 --> 01:14:08,458 You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time? 1353 01:14:08,542 --> 01:14:11,920 'Cause the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up. 1354 01:14:12,671 --> 01:14:17,675 We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor. 1355 01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:20,011 All units, fire department, en route. 1356 01:14:20,095 --> 01:14:22,430 - SEC. - Beaman's office. 1357 01:14:22,556 --> 01:14:23,932 We have to go. 1358 01:14:24,183 --> 01:14:25,892 - But the Captain. - We have to go, Allen. 1359 01:14:26,018 --> 01:14:30,730 All units, I need a respondent. Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center. 1360 01:14:41,867 --> 01:14:44,077 Shit. It's Beaman! 1361 01:14:44,870 --> 01:14:47,705 - He's gotta know something. - Wesley! 1362 01:14:47,915 --> 01:14:49,749 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. 1363 01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:52,293 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating. 1364 01:14:52,920 --> 01:14:55,046 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn. 1365 01:14:55,130 --> 01:14:57,507 - I got no bullhorn. - Does anyone have a bullhorn? 1366 01:14:57,591 --> 01:14:59,801 - Bullhorn, anyone? - Truck. 1367 01:15:00,886 --> 01:15:02,845 Police business. I need to use your PA system. 1368 01:15:02,930 --> 01:15:04,222 Okay, let me turn it on. 1369 01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,935 Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman? 1370 01:15:09,061 --> 01:15:12,230 It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... 1371 01:15:12,314 --> 01:15:15,149 Look, there's a lot to live for in this life. 1372 01:15:15,275 --> 01:15:20,279 A lot of great things, like soda pop, big fresh can of soda pop. 1373 01:15:20,406 --> 01:15:21,739 They do not care! 1374 01:15:21,824 --> 01:15:24,117 Give me this. I know how to talk to him. 1375 01:15:24,243 --> 01:15:27,870 Listen, we all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you. 1376 01:15:27,955 --> 01:15:29,288 Rotten piece of shit. 1377 01:15:29,415 --> 01:15:31,332 That's worse than what I was saying. 1378 01:15:31,792 --> 01:15:33,334 I'm not gonna lie to you, Don. 1379 01:15:33,459 --> 01:15:37,170 People down here are starting to murmur that you don't have the balls to do it. 1380 01:15:37,588 --> 01:15:39,589 - I don't care! - Yeah. 1381 01:15:39,674 --> 01:15:42,009 I say you can do it. 1382 01:15:42,802 --> 01:15:46,805 I mean, I don't want you to jump. I'm just saying you have the capability. 1383 01:15:47,348 --> 01:15:48,473 Look, he's flying! 1384 01:15:54,147 --> 01:15:55,439 Stop that. 1385 01:15:56,149 --> 01:15:58,025 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. 1386 01:15:58,151 --> 01:16:01,153 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right? 1387 01:16:01,988 --> 01:16:04,823 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go. 1388 01:16:04,949 --> 01:16:06,491 What about Ershon targeting the lottery? 1389 01:16:06,617 --> 01:16:10,746 You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times? 1390 01:16:10,830 --> 01:16:12,831 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, 1391 01:16:12,957 --> 01:16:15,208 the one on TV with all the numbered balls. 1392 01:16:15,334 --> 01:16:17,502 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week. 1393 01:16:18,004 --> 01:16:19,796 It was right there in front of you the whole time. 1394 01:16:19,881 --> 01:16:21,840 - Can't be. - You guys are getting transferred. 1395 01:16:21,966 --> 01:16:24,051 - What? - Traffic. 1396 01:16:24,177 --> 01:16:25,260 Yeah, that's right. 1397 01:16:25,344 --> 01:16:29,014 You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown. You're gonna walk a beat downtown. 1398 01:16:29,140 --> 01:16:31,433 - It's done. No, no. It's done. - Captain, what are you talking about? 1399 01:16:31,517 --> 01:16:33,393 - Save yourselves some gas. - Captain! 1400 01:16:33,978 --> 01:16:35,312 Is there an appeal process we can... 1401 01:16:35,396 --> 01:16:38,565 Had to do what you had to do, Captain. 1402 01:16:38,691 --> 01:16:40,859 Wow! That hurt. 1403 01:16:43,029 --> 01:16:45,155 - Excuse me. Where's my car? - They towed it. 1404 01:16:45,239 --> 01:16:47,699 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it. 1405 01:16:47,825 --> 01:16:51,495 - That's an official police car. - Could have fooled me. 1406 01:16:56,584 --> 01:16:57,876 Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? 1407 01:16:58,419 --> 01:16:59,586 Really? 1408 01:16:59,712 --> 01:17:02,047 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective. 1409 01:17:02,173 --> 01:17:04,716 That was all I had. Now it's gone. 1410 01:17:05,426 --> 01:17:07,928 I know. I know. You still got me. 1411 01:17:08,054 --> 01:17:11,556 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did. 1412 01:17:11,681 --> 01:17:13,891 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit. 1413 01:17:14,226 --> 01:17:16,310 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen. 1414 01:17:16,394 --> 01:17:20,940 It's a real case, and I'm a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershon. 1415 01:17:21,066 --> 01:17:23,275 - You carry a rape whistle. - This is real cop work. 1416 01:17:23,401 --> 01:17:26,195 There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay? 1417 01:17:26,279 --> 01:17:29,698 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner. 1418 01:17:29,783 --> 01:17:31,408 Leave me alone. 1419 01:17:32,035 --> 01:17:33,494 A mutt case. 1420 01:17:33,578 --> 01:17:36,122 Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay? 1421 01:17:36,248 --> 01:17:38,374 A broken partnership. 1422 01:17:38,458 --> 01:17:39,583 I'm a cop! 1423 01:17:39,709 --> 01:17:43,337 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment. 1424 01:17:43,421 --> 01:17:46,549 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta. 1425 01:17:49,261 --> 01:17:52,388 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked, 1426 01:17:53,598 --> 01:17:56,267 that's when you find out what's real... 1427 01:17:58,603 --> 01:18:00,646 and what needs doing. 1428 01:18:06,611 --> 01:18:08,654 Whether it's directing traffic... 1429 01:18:08,780 --> 01:18:09,780 Come on! 1430 01:18:10,282 --> 01:18:13,742 or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud. 1431 01:18:25,172 --> 01:18:27,256 - Do you work here? - Yeah, I do. 1432 01:18:27,340 --> 01:18:30,176 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there. 1433 01:18:30,302 --> 01:18:31,844 They also did damage to your office? 1434 01:18:31,970 --> 01:18:34,471 Some police officers came by and sealed it off. 1435 01:18:34,598 --> 01:18:35,890 Do you recall what they looked like? 1436 01:18:35,974 --> 01:18:38,684 One of them had an Australian accent. 1437 01:18:39,269 --> 01:18:43,022 You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you? 1438 01:18:43,148 --> 01:18:46,483 No. Our main client is Lendl Global. 1439 01:18:46,609 --> 01:18:48,193 Can I ask what this is about? 1440 01:19:01,665 --> 01:19:03,875 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch! 1441 01:19:13,302 --> 01:19:15,345 'Cause that's what a real cop is. 1442 01:19:15,471 --> 01:19:17,931 No, I didn't say "Lock her up." I never said, "Lock her up." 1443 01:19:18,015 --> 01:19:20,808 A guy who does what needs to be done. 1444 01:19:20,893 --> 01:19:24,854 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good. 1445 01:19:24,980 --> 01:19:26,564 And then you move to Florida. 1446 01:19:35,866 --> 01:19:37,033 One, two, three, attack! 1447 01:19:39,703 --> 01:19:40,912 Terry, it's me. 1448 01:19:41,038 --> 01:19:43,248 - Tap out. Tap out. - It's me, Allen. 1449 01:19:43,374 --> 01:19:44,916 Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face? 1450 01:19:45,042 --> 01:19:46,709 I'm tapping you out! 1451 01:19:47,544 --> 01:19:50,588 You crazy? What are you doing, man? 1452 01:19:50,714 --> 01:19:52,131 - They might be watching us. - Could've killed you. 1453 01:19:52,216 --> 01:19:53,341 - Turn out the lights. - What? 1454 01:19:53,425 --> 01:19:54,550 - They could be watching us. - Who? 1455 01:19:54,885 --> 01:19:57,387 I found some big information, okay? 1456 01:19:57,513 --> 01:20:00,598 - About what? - Some scary shit, Terry. This is big. 1457 01:20:00,891 --> 01:20:03,685 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof. 1458 01:20:03,769 --> 01:20:06,229 - We can't be too careful. - What are you talking about? 1459 01:20:06,355 --> 01:20:09,524 - This place might be bugged. - There's no bugs in here. 1460 01:20:13,737 --> 01:20:16,739 First off, I missed you. 1461 01:20:16,865 --> 01:20:19,617 - What's going on? - Did you hear what I said? 1462 01:20:19,743 --> 01:20:23,705 - Fine, I kind of missed you, too. - Thank you. 1463 01:20:23,788 --> 01:20:28,083 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover. 1464 01:20:28,209 --> 01:20:30,460 - It's Lendl Global. - What? 1465 01:20:30,586 --> 01:20:33,088 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction 1466 01:20:33,214 --> 01:20:36,174 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door. 1467 01:20:36,259 --> 01:20:39,469 They then altered all the records to cover the losses 1468 01:20:39,595 --> 01:20:42,389 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments. 1469 01:20:42,598 --> 01:20:45,892 You're not supposed to be doing this. You're supposed to be walking the beat. 1470 01:20:45,977 --> 01:20:48,603 I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? 1471 01:20:49,105 --> 01:20:51,106 This is bad, Allen. This is bad. 1472 01:20:51,232 --> 01:20:53,650 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this. 1473 01:20:53,776 --> 01:20:55,861 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions. 1474 01:20:55,945 --> 01:20:57,904 - That's why they killed him. - Man. 1475 01:20:57,989 --> 01:20:59,156 Here's the other thing. 1476 01:20:59,282 --> 01:21:01,283 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down. 1477 01:21:01,451 --> 01:21:02,826 Ershon's leading it. 1478 01:21:02,952 --> 01:21:05,787 I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with, 1479 01:21:05,913 --> 01:21:07,039 but we gotta stop it. 1480 01:21:07,123 --> 01:21:08,790 It's time to let the peacock fly. 1481 01:21:09,834 --> 01:21:11,752 I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do. 1482 01:21:12,128 --> 01:21:14,254 So do I. We're cops. 1483 01:21:14,339 --> 01:21:18,884 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig. 1484 01:21:18,968 --> 01:21:20,010 What? 1485 01:21:20,636 --> 01:21:24,389 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you. 1486 01:21:24,474 --> 01:21:26,975 What is this traffic bullshit? 1487 01:21:30,813 --> 01:21:34,316 - What are you talking about? - I'm talking about my life. 1488 01:21:34,442 --> 01:21:37,110 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums. 1489 01:21:37,195 --> 01:21:40,906 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys. 1490 01:21:40,990 --> 01:21:44,034 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet. 1491 01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:45,285 You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to. 1492 01:21:45,370 --> 01:21:47,996 What happened to you? What happened to this being our time? 1493 01:21:48,331 --> 01:21:50,499 No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done. 1494 01:21:51,709 --> 01:21:54,628 - Get in the car. - Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden. 1495 01:21:56,172 --> 01:21:59,966 - Apartment pop. Now get in the car. - You're not gonna shoot me. 1496 01:22:00,050 --> 01:22:02,635 Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this. 1497 01:22:02,844 --> 01:22:04,011 So stop pointing it at me. 1498 01:22:04,137 --> 01:22:08,182 Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right? 1499 01:22:08,392 --> 01:22:09,558 For what? He doesn't care. 1500 01:22:09,684 --> 01:22:12,812 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. 1501 01:22:12,896 --> 01:22:15,147 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why. 1502 01:22:15,232 --> 01:22:18,025 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. 1503 01:22:18,693 --> 01:22:20,069 I hope I'm not alone. 1504 01:22:20,862 --> 01:22:23,406 Hope you bring it. 1505 01:22:25,158 --> 01:22:27,243 We got a big day out there. Big one. 1506 01:22:27,369 --> 01:22:29,870 We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped, all right? 1507 01:22:30,205 --> 01:22:32,706 Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? 1508 01:22:34,251 --> 01:22:35,376 The new bathmats are in. 1509 01:22:38,213 --> 01:22:42,383 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights. 1510 01:22:42,509 --> 01:22:45,970 Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that. 1511 01:22:46,054 --> 01:22:47,221 Well, don't ignore it. 1512 01:22:47,347 --> 01:22:50,516 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs. 1513 01:22:50,600 --> 01:22:54,937 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. 1514 01:22:55,063 --> 01:22:58,691 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there. 1515 01:23:00,735 --> 01:23:01,861 The oak. 1516 01:23:01,945 --> 01:23:05,489 I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay? 1517 01:23:05,574 --> 01:23:06,699 And these chopping boards? 1518 01:23:06,908 --> 01:23:08,033 Hey, Captain. 1519 01:23:09,411 --> 01:23:11,954 Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? 1520 01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:13,873 What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats? 1521 01:23:14,374 --> 01:23:18,002 - I need you to be straight with me. - Straight with us. 1522 01:23:18,086 --> 01:23:20,796 Hey, Terry. Look at this. 1523 01:23:20,922 --> 01:23:24,592 - I thought you were working traffic today. - Let them block the box. 1524 01:23:24,968 --> 01:23:28,429 - Besides, partners' code, right? - Thanks. 1525 01:23:29,973 --> 01:23:32,600 Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case? 1526 01:23:34,059 --> 01:23:37,103 All right, fine. I'm gonna tell you guys something. 1527 01:23:37,229 --> 01:23:40,482 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep. 1528 01:23:40,608 --> 01:23:42,525 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, 1529 01:23:42,610 --> 01:23:45,487 and I gotta save what little ass I have left, okay? 1530 01:23:46,113 --> 01:23:48,281 You keep hiding from shit in the world, 1531 01:23:48,407 --> 01:23:50,617 and eventually the world comes to your front door. 1532 01:23:51,118 --> 01:23:53,328 - Nice. - That's very nice. 1533 01:23:53,454 --> 01:23:54,996 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel. 1534 01:23:55,581 --> 01:23:59,542 You keep this thing real quiet, and you make sure you have real evidence, 1535 01:23:59,627 --> 01:24:01,211 and maybe I'll see what I can do. 1536 01:24:01,295 --> 01:24:02,504 But if you make a lot of noise 1537 01:24:02,630 --> 01:24:05,757 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this, 1538 01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:07,425 I am out, okay? 1539 01:24:07,510 --> 01:24:08,801 Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice. 1540 01:24:08,928 --> 01:24:13,264 But there's one case, one case in a career where you go all in. 1541 01:24:13,349 --> 01:24:14,474 This is it. 1542 01:24:15,100 --> 01:24:18,436 All right. Then you do us proud. 1543 01:24:18,938 --> 01:24:20,188 'Cause I don't want no scrubs. 1544 01:24:20,940 --> 01:24:23,441 - Really? - No. 1545 01:24:23,526 --> 01:24:26,861 - You're not aware that's a TLC song? - I have no idea what you're talking about. 1546 01:24:27,154 --> 01:24:28,530 - Second time. - You said chasing waterfalls, 1547 01:24:28,656 --> 01:24:29,781 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. 1548 01:24:29,865 --> 01:24:31,658 - I don't even understand the reference. - It's like a tic. 1549 01:24:31,784 --> 01:24:32,867 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1550 01:24:32,993 --> 01:24:35,286 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked. 1551 01:24:35,663 --> 01:24:37,372 - You can trust us. - Real quiet. 1552 01:24:37,498 --> 01:24:39,791 You gotta creep. Creep. 1553 01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:41,334 Come on. 1554 01:24:42,294 --> 01:24:44,796 You don't say "Creep-creep" unless you're quoting TLC. 1555 01:24:45,005 --> 01:24:46,381 Hey, guys. 1556 01:24:47,341 --> 01:24:49,217 You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right? 1557 01:24:49,885 --> 01:24:51,678 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag. 1558 01:24:51,804 --> 01:24:53,680 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero? 1559 01:24:54,014 --> 01:24:57,183 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. 1560 01:24:58,644 --> 01:25:00,144 You ready? 1561 01:25:00,229 --> 01:25:01,896 - Yeah. - Let's go. 1562 01:25:10,406 --> 01:25:12,782 - No, but the highlights are great. - Thank you. 1563 01:25:12,865 --> 01:25:14,950 - Sexy but serious. - Thank you. 1564 01:25:15,034 --> 01:25:16,410 Excuse me. 1565 01:25:17,412 --> 01:25:20,080 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man. 1566 01:25:20,206 --> 01:25:24,668 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here. 1567 01:25:24,752 --> 01:25:25,877 Who are they? 1568 01:25:27,380 --> 01:25:32,050 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. 1569 01:25:32,176 --> 01:25:37,973 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria. 1570 01:25:38,057 --> 01:25:40,267 You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens? 1571 01:25:40,393 --> 01:25:41,852 Yes. Yes, I do. 1572 01:25:41,936 --> 01:25:45,105 - You're a piece of work. - Thank you. 1573 01:25:45,273 --> 01:25:48,692 Probably best to get started. 1574 01:25:49,068 --> 01:25:52,529 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score. 1575 01:25:52,614 --> 01:25:55,532 The only thing that bugs me is we still don't know who Ershon's targeting. 1576 01:25:55,617 --> 01:25:59,703 - Is it the lotto? Who is it? - Who cares? Some rich prick. 1577 01:25:59,787 --> 01:26:05,751 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal. 1578 01:26:05,877 --> 01:26:08,295 And I can assure you that every dime of your money 1579 01:26:08,421 --> 01:26:11,423 will be invested with the utmost diligence. 1580 01:26:11,549 --> 01:26:13,467 Your rates of return are really exciting. 1581 01:26:13,593 --> 01:26:15,093 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled. 1582 01:26:15,219 --> 01:26:19,056 Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years. 1583 01:26:20,099 --> 01:26:22,309 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out. 1584 01:26:22,435 --> 01:26:24,645 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about. 1585 01:26:24,771 --> 01:26:25,812 Beautiful. 1586 01:26:25,938 --> 01:26:27,314 All right, listen up. 1587 01:26:27,440 --> 01:26:30,317 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz. 1588 01:26:30,443 --> 01:26:32,569 We need your cooperation. 1589 01:26:32,654 --> 01:26:34,112 David Ershon. 1590 01:26:34,238 --> 01:26:36,531 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, 1591 01:26:36,616 --> 01:26:38,325 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman. 1592 01:26:38,826 --> 01:26:40,285 This is a bad idea. 1593 01:26:40,787 --> 01:26:42,120 Hey, guys. 1594 01:26:43,748 --> 01:26:46,166 Bob? What are you doing here? 1595 01:26:46,626 --> 01:26:47,959 I'm investing. 1596 01:26:48,085 --> 01:26:50,461 Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back? 1597 01:26:50,587 --> 01:26:52,171 - This is what it was for. - Holy shit. 1598 01:26:52,297 --> 01:26:54,799 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension. 1599 01:26:54,925 --> 01:26:59,136 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund. 1600 01:27:05,477 --> 01:27:09,105 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant. 1601 01:27:09,981 --> 01:27:11,482 We are within our rights to take action. 1602 01:28:09,875 --> 01:28:11,792 So much for quiet as church mice! 1603 01:28:12,210 --> 01:28:13,335 Go! 1604 01:28:18,508 --> 01:28:19,842 Who the hell are those guys? 1605 01:28:19,926 --> 01:28:22,970 Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages. 1606 01:28:23,054 --> 01:28:27,016 Even I admit that's not very tempting, but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it! 1607 01:28:27,099 --> 01:28:29,058 - Get in the front! - How do you start this freaking thing? 1608 01:28:29,351 --> 01:28:30,351 Go on! Go! 1609 01:28:31,061 --> 01:28:32,061 - Shit! - Go! 1610 01:28:34,523 --> 01:28:35,523 Oh, my... 1611 01:28:36,942 --> 01:28:39,819 Jeanie! Get over here! You, go get the bloody car! 1612 01:29:26,408 --> 01:29:27,408 Hold the wheel! 1613 01:29:33,082 --> 01:29:35,458 - Open the back! - I got it. I got it! 1614 01:29:43,425 --> 01:29:46,344 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you. 1615 01:29:46,470 --> 01:29:48,846 - Well, I'm gonna kill you first! - And then they will kill me. 1616 01:29:48,973 --> 01:29:52,016 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous, 1617 01:29:52,101 --> 01:29:53,768 - and holding David Ershon hostage. - Stupid pricks! 1618 01:29:53,852 --> 01:29:57,355 - It's us, we're good guys! - Exactly. They're the good guys. 1619 01:29:57,439 --> 01:29:59,607 Where do we go? Where do we go? 1620 01:29:59,691 --> 01:30:02,359 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it. 1621 01:30:02,443 --> 01:30:05,112 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. 1622 01:30:05,196 --> 01:30:07,322 Not at the same time. That would be wrong. 1623 01:30:10,535 --> 01:30:13,620 Let's hear it from the top, every detail. 1624 01:30:13,705 --> 01:30:18,542 I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, 1625 01:30:18,626 --> 01:30:23,630 then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, 1626 01:30:23,715 --> 01:30:26,800 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. 1627 01:30:26,884 --> 01:30:30,137 Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story. 1628 01:30:30,221 --> 01:30:31,388 Just tell us what happened. 1629 01:30:31,514 --> 01:30:34,224 I lost a bunch of money from some people and now they want it back. 1630 01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:35,892 What about Don Beaman? 1631 01:30:35,977 --> 01:30:38,478 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials, 1632 01:30:38,563 --> 01:30:41,481 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet. 1633 01:30:41,566 --> 01:30:43,400 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin 1634 01:30:43,526 --> 01:30:45,569 and then forced him onto the ledge. 1635 01:30:45,653 --> 01:30:47,321 It was only a matter of time before he fell. 1636 01:30:47,405 --> 01:30:50,824 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund. 1637 01:30:50,908 --> 01:30:54,161 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account. 1638 01:30:54,245 --> 01:30:56,830 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund 1639 01:30:56,914 --> 01:30:59,666 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts. 1640 01:30:59,751 --> 01:31:01,251 By 9:01, it's gone. 1641 01:31:01,377 --> 01:31:04,338 - Well, what if we stop the transfer? - But you can't. I mean, there's a... 1642 01:31:04,422 --> 01:31:06,923 What if we stop the transfer? 1643 01:31:07,008 --> 01:31:09,843 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly, 1644 01:31:09,927 --> 01:31:12,429 find the clerk, get the routing number. 1645 01:31:12,513 --> 01:31:13,513 We gotta stop it. 1646 01:31:13,598 --> 01:31:14,848 There's no way. 1647 01:31:14,932 --> 01:31:18,518 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, they'll all be after us. 1648 01:31:18,603 --> 01:31:22,731 You could let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each. 1649 01:31:23,358 --> 01:31:26,360 - It's not a bribe. - Of course it's a bribe. 1650 01:31:26,444 --> 01:31:28,612 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job. 1651 01:31:30,698 --> 01:31:31,948 It's not a bribe. 1652 01:31:32,575 --> 01:31:34,951 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place. 1653 01:31:35,078 --> 01:31:36,787 We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. 1654 01:31:37,579 --> 01:31:39,121 First things first, I gotta go see Sheila. 1655 01:31:39,206 --> 01:31:40,581 No way, it's too dangerous. 1656 01:31:40,707 --> 01:31:42,958 Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow, 1657 01:31:43,085 --> 01:31:46,629 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila. 1658 01:31:47,130 --> 01:31:49,048 All right, go. Go. Be careful. 1659 01:31:49,466 --> 01:31:51,133 Thanks, I will. 1660 01:31:51,968 --> 01:31:53,219 Will you say hi to Sheila for me? 1661 01:31:53,387 --> 01:31:55,137 - Okay. - Okay. 1662 01:31:55,222 --> 01:31:58,140 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. 1663 01:31:58,266 --> 01:31:59,725 He wants to make sure you know 1664 01:31:59,810 --> 01:32:02,144 that he'll be there for you if anything happens. 1665 01:32:02,270 --> 01:32:04,313 - Yeah. - Drop of a hat, I'm there. 1666 01:32:04,564 --> 01:32:06,565 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. 1667 01:32:06,650 --> 01:32:09,568 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her. 1668 01:32:09,653 --> 01:32:12,571 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility. 1669 01:32:12,656 --> 01:32:14,824 Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing? 1670 01:32:14,991 --> 01:32:16,409 Just go, man. 1671 01:32:17,119 --> 01:32:18,619 Okay. Thanks. 1672 01:32:19,579 --> 01:32:20,663 Go. 1673 01:32:24,626 --> 01:32:25,793 Janeco Gallery. 1674 01:32:26,753 --> 01:32:28,838 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. 1675 01:32:39,516 --> 01:32:40,683 Please pick up. 1676 01:32:41,601 --> 01:32:42,768 Hello. 1677 01:32:42,853 --> 01:32:46,021 Hey, sweetie. I was praying you'd be at your mom's house. 1678 01:32:46,106 --> 01:32:49,358 You know what, I can't talk any more. I think the phone's being tapped. 1679 01:32:49,609 --> 01:32:52,111 Baby, where are you? I wanna see you. 1680 01:32:52,195 --> 01:32:54,363 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago. 1681 01:32:54,448 --> 01:32:55,489 Do you remember? 1682 01:32:56,450 --> 01:32:57,783 Okay, yeah, I got it. 1683 01:32:57,868 --> 01:33:01,537 I'm just warning you, though. Watch out. I think they're watching the house. 1684 01:33:01,621 --> 01:33:04,206 Don't worry, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you. 1685 01:33:04,708 --> 01:33:08,669 I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. I mean... 1686 01:33:09,838 --> 01:33:13,299 After all those years, after the restraining order. 1687 01:33:13,382 --> 01:33:16,718 I was worried I might not see you again. 1688 01:33:16,844 --> 01:33:18,470 There's some very dangerous people after him, 1689 01:33:18,554 --> 01:33:19,554 and now they're after us. 1690 01:33:22,808 --> 01:33:24,392 It's just the old lady. 1691 01:33:29,732 --> 01:33:31,149 Hello, Allen. 1692 01:33:31,233 --> 01:33:33,818 Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here? 1693 01:33:33,903 --> 01:33:38,239 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back. 1694 01:33:38,324 --> 01:33:40,158 - She also says... - Yes. 1695 01:33:40,242 --> 01:33:44,078 she wants you on top of her, holding her hair, 1696 01:33:44,205 --> 01:33:46,247 and riding her like a bucking bronco 1697 01:33:46,874 --> 01:33:50,502 while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey." 1698 01:33:51,337 --> 01:33:52,754 You, you tell your daughter... 1699 01:33:53,339 --> 01:33:55,757 He said he'll always love you. 1700 01:33:55,841 --> 01:33:58,510 And he's so happy that you're having his child. 1701 01:33:58,594 --> 01:33:59,761 Allen. 1702 01:33:59,845 --> 01:34:01,679 He also says that 1703 01:34:01,764 --> 01:34:05,809 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes without blinking while you do it. 1704 01:34:06,435 --> 01:34:08,937 - I love when we do that, Mom. - And then afterward, 1705 01:34:09,021 --> 01:34:11,022 lick the sex off each other. 1706 01:34:12,858 --> 01:34:14,776 I don't wanna do this. 1707 01:34:16,195 --> 01:34:19,572 - You say things that are too personal. - Okay, but just one more thing. 1708 01:34:19,907 --> 01:34:21,825 She said she loves you, 1709 01:34:21,909 --> 01:34:25,036 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you. 1710 01:34:25,704 --> 01:34:28,206 Come on. That's not all she said. 1711 01:34:28,707 --> 01:34:29,874 No. 1712 01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:34,546 - She says other things, but I don't want... - Please, please, please. 1713 01:34:34,630 --> 01:34:36,881 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. 1714 01:34:37,383 --> 01:34:38,550 Okay. 1715 01:34:41,095 --> 01:34:45,974 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones 1716 01:34:46,058 --> 01:34:49,269 - and have a three-day F marathon. - That's more like it. Yeah. 1717 01:34:49,561 --> 01:34:54,690 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys Fd so hard. 1718 01:34:54,774 --> 01:34:55,983 That's just lovely. 1719 01:34:56,401 --> 01:34:59,987 No more! He says things I can't say. 1720 01:35:00,071 --> 01:35:05,867 It involves a mannequin hand and an electric shaver taped to a golf club. 1721 01:35:14,419 --> 01:35:15,586 Now what'd she say? 1722 01:35:18,006 --> 01:35:19,756 She says she loves you. 1723 01:35:26,014 --> 01:35:28,348 I'm so sorry about everything. 1724 01:35:29,225 --> 01:35:33,687 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you. 1725 01:35:33,771 --> 01:35:37,608 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that 1726 01:35:39,277 --> 01:35:43,363 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning 1727 01:35:43,448 --> 01:35:46,241 and intelligent and wonderful you are, 1728 01:35:47,118 --> 01:35:50,954 - I'd just lose you. - Shut up, Allen. I love you. 1729 01:35:51,456 --> 01:35:54,249 We have a place that's safe. All right. 1730 01:36:06,804 --> 01:36:08,055 I'm gonna break your hip. 1731 01:36:16,814 --> 01:36:19,107 I'm about to do you grandpa-style. 1732 01:36:34,498 --> 01:36:36,165 I brought some music. 1733 01:36:40,671 --> 01:36:42,672 Not what I would've chosen, but screw it. 1734 01:36:42,756 --> 01:36:46,008 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work. 1735 01:36:46,093 --> 01:36:47,176 Let's do it. 1736 01:36:47,302 --> 01:36:49,011 - You want my gate code? - Shut up, man! 1737 01:36:56,603 --> 01:36:57,687 That's Wesley! 1738 01:37:08,699 --> 01:37:09,824 Yes! 1739 01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:14,787 - Where'd you learn to drive like that? - Grand Theft Auto! 1740 01:37:17,708 --> 01:37:18,958 Shit, Allen, they're coming. 1741 01:37:21,837 --> 01:37:24,380 - Oh, my God! - Shit. 1742 01:37:25,674 --> 01:37:27,383 - Do something, Allen! - Hold on, hold on. 1743 01:37:48,864 --> 01:37:50,740 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto. 1744 01:37:52,409 --> 01:37:53,743 I did that! 1745 01:37:53,869 --> 01:37:55,494 - I did that! - Oh, my God! 1746 01:37:55,579 --> 01:37:57,913 - That's what I'm talking about! - We jackknifed them! 1747 01:37:57,998 --> 01:38:00,499 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down. 1748 01:38:00,584 --> 01:38:04,170 Gator turns vans upside-down like they're in a crazy washing machine! 1749 01:38:04,253 --> 01:38:06,296 Why are you calling yourself Gator? 1750 01:38:06,714 --> 01:38:09,507 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service. 1751 01:38:09,592 --> 01:38:12,802 - He was a pimp. - Yeah, I was. I was a pimp. 1752 01:38:12,928 --> 01:38:15,430 Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here? 1753 01:38:16,432 --> 01:38:17,599 My poor car. 1754 01:38:17,933 --> 01:38:20,393 Right now the streets are a bloodbath. 1755 01:38:20,478 --> 01:38:23,605 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 1756 01:38:23,689 --> 01:38:25,690 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday. 1757 01:38:25,983 --> 01:38:29,068 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail. 1758 01:38:29,153 --> 01:38:33,406 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic. 1759 01:38:33,491 --> 01:38:35,742 - It's a good tip. - Yeah. Two... 1760 01:38:35,826 --> 01:38:37,118 Gentlemen, we got a hot one. 1761 01:38:37,203 --> 01:38:40,830 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage, high-speed car chase in progress. 1762 01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:42,749 Yes! Gun, gun! 1763 01:38:43,042 --> 01:38:44,876 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people. 1764 01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:46,586 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? 1765 01:38:46,670 --> 01:38:48,087 Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? 1766 01:38:48,172 --> 01:38:49,631 I do! 1767 01:38:50,132 --> 01:38:51,508 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move. 1768 01:38:51,592 --> 01:38:53,134 - Move! Let's go. - Come on! 1769 01:39:02,853 --> 01:39:06,272 Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering the high-speed chase. 1770 01:39:11,529 --> 01:39:12,904 Jesus! 1771 01:39:17,743 --> 01:39:20,537 - Who are those guys? - They're Chechen investors. 1772 01:39:20,621 --> 01:39:23,665 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer. 1773 01:39:23,749 --> 01:39:25,333 Anyway, it went terribly wrong. 1774 01:39:28,504 --> 01:39:30,713 I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter! 1775 01:39:31,715 --> 01:39:32,799 Oh, no. 1776 01:39:34,176 --> 01:39:35,260 Damn it. 1777 01:39:39,138 --> 01:39:41,598 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. 1778 01:39:41,683 --> 01:39:43,141 VO5 Hot Oil. 1779 01:39:46,479 --> 01:39:48,772 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions! 1780 01:39:48,857 --> 01:39:49,982 I'm not gonna wreck! 1781 01:39:51,943 --> 01:39:53,694 - I'm gonna wreck! You're right! - You want me to drive? 1782 01:40:13,715 --> 01:40:16,383 - This was a very clever idea. - Yeah. 1783 01:40:28,479 --> 01:40:29,771 They're gone. 1784 01:40:31,190 --> 01:40:32,274 Let's go. 1785 01:40:44,579 --> 01:40:48,040 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them. 1786 01:40:55,882 --> 01:40:57,132 - This is a shortcut. - Are you kidding me? 1787 01:40:57,216 --> 01:40:58,425 You cannot go down there. 1788 01:41:06,351 --> 01:41:07,851 What are you doing? 1789 01:41:14,067 --> 01:41:15,150 Hit him! 1790 01:41:22,866 --> 01:41:24,241 - Where are we? - Chelsea Pier. 1791 01:41:30,707 --> 01:41:31,791 What the hell? 1792 01:41:33,126 --> 01:41:34,210 Jesus! 1793 01:41:41,593 --> 01:41:43,427 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating. 1794 01:41:44,179 --> 01:41:45,262 Go! 1795 01:41:50,394 --> 01:41:51,477 Come on! 1796 01:41:53,355 --> 01:41:54,939 We're cops! Hit the chopper! 1797 01:42:17,838 --> 01:42:20,715 This is Martin and Fosse, en route. Back off! This is our collar! 1798 01:42:22,551 --> 01:42:25,219 Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there! 1799 01:42:25,512 --> 01:42:26,595 Take the light! 1800 01:42:46,783 --> 01:42:48,325 Do not authorize that transfer. 1801 01:42:48,410 --> 01:42:49,994 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. 1802 01:42:50,078 --> 01:42:52,496 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him. 1803 01:42:52,580 --> 01:42:55,206 - Tell him! - Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer. 1804 01:42:55,291 --> 01:42:56,374 Approve it. 1805 01:42:57,835 --> 01:42:58,918 Now. 1806 01:42:59,003 --> 01:43:00,587 Do not touch anything! 1807 01:43:01,005 --> 01:43:03,256 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk. 1808 01:43:03,340 --> 01:43:05,759 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk. 1809 01:43:05,843 --> 01:43:06,926 Yeah? 1810 01:43:08,304 --> 01:43:11,806 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon. 1811 01:43:11,891 --> 01:43:15,310 I have two competing bids from jilted investors. 1812 01:43:16,020 --> 01:43:18,229 They're at 30 million, and holding. 1813 01:43:18,939 --> 01:43:20,899 - Wait! Can't you let me... - Take him away. 1814 01:43:21,484 --> 01:43:23,026 But computers. 1815 01:43:24,111 --> 01:43:28,573 What if, one day, they were in charge? 1816 01:43:30,159 --> 01:43:34,245 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife. 1817 01:43:34,330 --> 01:43:36,414 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. 1818 01:43:36,499 --> 01:43:37,749 Now! 1819 01:43:44,799 --> 01:43:45,965 You just stood there! 1820 01:43:46,050 --> 01:43:48,843 I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that? 1821 01:43:48,928 --> 01:43:50,804 - I knew what that meant. - Shut up. 1822 01:43:50,888 --> 01:43:53,932 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars. 1823 01:43:54,016 --> 01:43:56,101 - Who's got the golden goose now, huh? - Yeah. 1824 01:44:00,147 --> 01:44:01,731 Shit! 1825 01:44:02,441 --> 01:44:04,609 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. 1826 01:44:04,693 --> 01:44:06,569 He immediately called your bluff. 1827 01:44:06,654 --> 01:44:08,488 Get up. And kill the police. 1828 01:44:08,572 --> 01:44:10,031 I just wanna make sure I get it right. 1829 01:44:10,116 --> 01:44:13,535 Did you want this transfer approved or not approved? 1830 01:44:13,994 --> 01:44:16,371 You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun. 1831 01:44:17,915 --> 01:44:20,708 Police, don't move! Drop your weapons! 1832 01:44:20,793 --> 01:44:23,711 Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy! 1833 01:44:23,796 --> 01:44:26,756 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis. 1834 01:44:26,841 --> 01:44:29,634 - Police! Down on the ground! - Let me see your hands! 1835 01:44:37,475 --> 01:44:39,768 - Hey, hey, you okay? - Hey. 1836 01:44:40,645 --> 01:44:43,021 Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry. 1837 01:44:43,314 --> 01:44:45,023 - I'm sorry. - That's okay. Don't worry about it. 1838 01:44:45,108 --> 01:44:46,608 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office. 1839 01:44:46,985 --> 01:44:49,236 Okay. Thanks for coming by. 1840 01:44:49,320 --> 01:44:51,405 Attaboy. 1841 01:44:51,489 --> 01:44:53,532 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. 1842 01:44:53,783 --> 01:44:56,660 We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying! 1843 01:44:57,120 --> 01:45:00,455 No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting. I'm just resting. 1844 01:45:00,540 --> 01:45:02,708 - I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? - I was just resting. 1845 01:45:02,792 --> 01:45:04,334 - Are you all right? - Just resting. 1846 01:45:04,419 --> 01:45:05,836 Hey, let me tell you something. 1847 01:45:05,920 --> 01:45:08,755 As far as paperwork goes, we'll take care of it. 1848 01:45:09,090 --> 01:45:10,674 - You know why? - Why? 1849 01:45:10,758 --> 01:45:12,259 Ain't too proud to beg. 1850 01:45:12,886 --> 01:45:14,094 Come on. 1851 01:45:14,179 --> 01:45:16,013 - What? - It's not funny anymore. 1852 01:45:16,097 --> 01:45:18,640 - I don't know what you're talking about. - TLC references. 1853 01:45:18,725 --> 01:45:20,726 Still nothing. I swear to you. 1854 01:45:21,060 --> 01:45:26,398 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go. 1855 01:45:26,482 --> 01:45:29,276 It was the king of the mutt cases, 1856 01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:32,487 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars. 1857 01:45:35,366 --> 01:45:38,493 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme 1858 01:45:38,578 --> 01:45:40,621 and Lendl's massive losses, 1859 01:45:40,705 --> 01:45:43,415 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. 1860 01:45:43,499 --> 01:45:48,045 Lendl is in everything, and we're gonna go everywhere... 1861 01:45:48,129 --> 01:45:49,922 They were too big to fail. 1862 01:45:50,006 --> 01:45:55,219 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida. 1863 01:45:55,303 --> 01:45:58,388 He still invests. Currency's just different. 1864 01:45:59,432 --> 01:46:01,850 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder 1865 01:46:01,935 --> 01:46:05,729 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked. 1866 01:46:05,812 --> 01:46:07,647 It only showed the back of their heads. 1867 01:46:07,731 --> 01:46:11,859 But Allen's Faceback app was able to get a match to their faces. 1868 01:46:12,319 --> 01:46:14,195 Terry married Francine. 1869 01:46:14,279 --> 01:46:17,240 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful. 1870 01:46:17,324 --> 01:46:18,866 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade 1871 01:46:18,951 --> 01:46:22,286 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street. 1872 01:46:22,704 --> 01:46:25,957 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined. 1873 01:46:26,249 --> 01:46:30,461 Let's be honest, we all wanna be superstars and hotshots. 1874 01:46:30,545 --> 01:46:31,754 But guess what? 1875 01:46:31,838 --> 01:46:35,341 The people that do the real work, the ones that make the difference, 1876 01:46:35,592 --> 01:46:38,594 you don't see them on TV or on the front page. 1877 01:46:39,262 --> 01:46:42,723 I'm talking about the day-in, day-outers, the grinders. 1878 01:46:42,849 --> 01:46:45,977 Come on, man, you know who I'm talking about: The other guys. 1879 01:46:46,061 --> 01:46:47,228 - See? That's a no-go. - Hey, hey. 1880 01:46:47,980 --> 01:46:49,981 You think you broke this Ershon case open? 1881 01:46:50,399 --> 01:46:51,607 You did nothing. 1882 01:46:52,025 --> 01:46:53,609 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions 1883 01:46:53,694 --> 01:46:55,945 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do. 1884 01:46:56,822 --> 01:46:57,822 Derek Jeter? 1885 01:46:59,241 --> 01:47:02,326 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry. 1886 01:47:02,619 --> 01:47:05,413 - I told you! - They knew by putting someone like you 1887 01:47:05,497 --> 01:47:08,457 with a quick trigger finger next to that door where I do my pre-game walk, 1888 01:47:08,625 --> 01:47:11,002 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. 1889 01:47:11,545 --> 01:47:13,629 Now, I've been doing my own investigation on the banking industry, 1890 01:47:13,797 --> 01:47:15,840 and I was close. I was real close. 1891 01:47:16,258 --> 01:47:17,425 So I forgive you, Terry. 1892 01:47:17,968 --> 01:47:20,094 I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about what happened. 1893 01:47:20,846 --> 01:47:21,846 I'm glad you're doing better. 1894 01:47:22,305 --> 01:47:24,640 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money. 1895 01:47:25,225 --> 01:47:28,477 And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them? 1896 01:47:28,645 --> 01:47:31,063 The same corporations that own the government. 1897 01:47:31,648 --> 01:47:33,357 Courts and the law is all we have left. 1898 01:47:34,693 --> 01:47:36,152 So here's you guys' next case. 1899 01:47:37,279 --> 01:47:40,156 Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank. 1900 01:47:40,823 --> 01:47:44,659 He took three billion in TARP funds. He's crooked. He's real crooked. 1901 01:47:45,161 --> 01:47:49,789 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7. 1902 01:47:50,833 --> 01:47:52,000 Thanks, Derek. 1903 01:47:53,294 --> 01:47:55,420 Hey, Derek! Wait! What if we need to get in touch with you, 1904 01:47:55,504 --> 01:47:57,839 get some more information or some tickets or something? 1905 01:47:58,591 --> 01:47:59,758 What just happened? 1906 01:48:02,636 --> 01:48:05,722 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty. 1907 01:48:08,392 --> 01:48:10,101 Hi. Cute glasses. 1908 01:48:11,103 --> 01:48:13,063 - What was that? - What? 1909 01:48:13,147 --> 01:48:16,775 What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret? 1910 01:48:16,859 --> 01:48:19,527 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1911 01:48:19,612 --> 01:48:21,654 Tell me who you lost your virginity to. 1912 01:48:21,739 --> 01:48:24,783 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear. 1913 01:48:24,867 --> 01:48:26,534 Heather Locklear, what? 1914 01:48:26,619 --> 01:48:28,244 - You've heard of her? - Come on! 1915 01:48:28,329 --> 01:48:32,457 - She was much chubbier back then. - I don't get it. I really, I don't get it. 1916 01:53:33,050 --> 01:53:34,717 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor. 1917 01:53:34,843 --> 01:53:36,302 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. 1918 01:53:36,804 --> 01:53:38,346 If you say something funny, I'll laugh. 1919 01:53:38,430 --> 01:53:41,140 - All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke. - Please. I love jokes. 1920 01:53:41,266 --> 01:53:43,851 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. 1921 01:53:45,229 --> 01:53:48,356 - It's time to get laid. - Already feels inappropriate. 1922 01:53:48,690 --> 01:53:50,441 So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, "Miss, 1923 01:53:50,818 --> 01:53:53,986 "look, I know usually you want money, but I don't have any money and it's my birthday. 1924 01:53:54,321 --> 01:53:56,072 "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?" 1925 01:53:56,615 --> 01:53:58,825 - Was he a farmer? - No. 1926 01:53:59,034 --> 01:54:03,329 That's probably a Health Code violation, bringing a duck into a place of prostitution. 1927 01:54:03,747 --> 01:54:05,331 They weren't gonna have sex with the duck! 1928 01:54:05,582 --> 01:54:07,333 No, I just mean Health Code violation 1929 01:54:07,418 --> 01:54:11,045 to have the duck brought into a facility like that. 1930 01:54:12,548 --> 01:54:14,715 So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it." 1931 01:54:15,217 --> 01:54:17,677 So he goes in there, gives it to her. 1932 01:54:18,220 --> 01:54:21,389 - He gives her what? - The high, hard one! She loves it. 1933 01:54:21,682 --> 01:54:24,684 She goes, "You know what? If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back." 1934 01:54:25,018 --> 01:54:26,936 - It's like getting laid twice for free. - So... I'm sorry. 1935 01:54:27,020 --> 01:54:28,146 I'm so sorry. 1936 01:54:28,439 --> 01:54:32,400 - The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. - Yes. Yes. 1937 01:54:32,568 --> 01:54:33,693 - Very good. - He used the duck as payment, 1938 01:54:33,777 --> 01:54:35,403 and now he's being paid back the duck. 1939 01:54:35,821 --> 01:54:38,906 He goes, "Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. 1940 01:54:39,241 --> 01:54:42,785 - Now he's walking home, right? Walking... - So she was satisfied with duck. 1941 01:54:43,078 --> 01:54:45,079 - With a duck as currency... - Yes. 1942 01:54:45,164 --> 01:54:47,623 to her. Great. Good. 1943 01:54:47,958 --> 01:54:51,711 So he's walking home, now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right? 1944 01:54:52,087 --> 01:54:54,213 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom, 1945 01:54:54,298 --> 01:54:55,715 truck comes by and runs over his duck. 1946 01:54:55,799 --> 01:54:57,175 - Kills the duck? - Killed the duck. 1947 01:54:57,259 --> 01:54:59,427 - So the duck is now dead. - The duck is dead. 1948 01:54:59,928 --> 01:55:03,222 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean... 1949 01:55:03,390 --> 01:55:06,517 Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice, 1950 01:55:06,685 --> 01:55:10,146 - and he watched his beloved duck die. - Will you shut up and let me tell the story? 1951 01:55:10,314 --> 01:55:12,231 So far, I don't know how this is ever gonna be funny. 1952 01:55:12,524 --> 01:55:14,984 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, he gives him two dollars. 1953 01:55:15,360 --> 01:55:16,694 And the kid's happy with the two bucks? 1954 01:55:17,196 --> 01:55:20,656 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice, and now he's got two dollars on top of it. 1955 01:55:20,741 --> 01:55:23,201 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars. 1956 01:55:24,369 --> 01:55:25,912 This was a while back. You what I'm... 1957 01:55:26,288 --> 01:55:28,789 So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened? 1958 01:55:28,874 --> 01:55:32,335 "Tell me! Tell me!" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, 1959 01:55:32,461 --> 01:55:34,001 "I got a duck for the fuck, 1960 01:55:34,086 --> 01:55:35,831 "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" 1961 01:55:38,926 --> 01:55:40,131 So it's like a limerick. 1962 01:55:41,341 --> 01:55:42,596 You didn't think that was funny? 1963 01:55:43,056 --> 01:55:44,931 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure, 1964 01:55:45,641 --> 01:55:47,391 the way all the words were put together, 1965 01:55:47,476 --> 01:55:49,021 but in terms of content? 1966 01:55:50,646 --> 01:55:51,771 No. 1967 01:55:54,981 --> 01:55:58,611 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here. 1968 01:56:03,826 --> 01:56:07,991 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 1969 01:56:08,496 --> 01:56:09,501 And cut.