1 00:00:59,056 --> 00:01:00,891 Like we discussed yesterday, 2 00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:05,812 I really want you all to focus on topic sentences more. 3 00:01:05,896 --> 00:01:09,983 Too many of you are rushing into examples in your body paragraphs. 4 00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,818 It'd be good for everyone to review 5 00:01:11,902 --> 00:01:15,155 the paragraph structure pdf I sent you a few weeks ago. 6 00:01:15,238 --> 00:01:18,909 I know these rules can feel constraining. 7 00:01:18,992 --> 00:01:22,079 But remember, the point of this course 8 00:01:22,162 --> 00:01:26,291 is to learn how to write clearly and persuasively. 9 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:29,711 That's how you can effectively communicate your ideas. 10 00:01:32,339 --> 00:01:35,550 Chris, I imagine that was supposed to be a private chat 11 00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:38,178 that you sent to the whole class. Well done. 12 00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:42,516 And, yes, the camera on my laptop still doesn't work. 13 00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:44,434 Believe me, you're not missing much. 14 00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:47,312 Oh, and for those of you who still haven't given me paper three, 15 00:01:47,396 --> 00:01:50,524 I need it by Wednesday, no exceptions. 16 00:01:51,274 --> 00:01:52,484 And remember, 17 00:01:53,276 --> 00:01:55,195 the more you revise these essays, 18 00:01:55,278 --> 00:01:56,422 the better. 19 00:01:56,446 --> 00:01:57,948 The more you change, 20 00:01:58,031 --> 00:02:00,784 chances are, you'll express your thoughts and ideas 21 00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:02,577 more clearly and persuasively. 22 00:02:03,286 --> 00:02:04,329 All right? 23 00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:33,442 Oh! 24 00:02:54,463 --> 00:02:59,342 "Mob y dick... In the amazing book, Moby..." 25 00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:01,261 Liz? 26 00:03:03,388 --> 00:03:06,224 Just use your key, Open the door! 27 00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:09,936 Oh, my god. 28 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:12,022 Who are you? 29 00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:13,190 Gosh, are you okay? 30 00:03:13,273 --> 00:03:15,233 Should I call an ambulance? I should call an am... 31 00:03:18,278 --> 00:03:19,821 Read this to me. 32 00:03:19,905 --> 00:03:21,424 Do you have a phone? My phone's dead, I need to... 33 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,033 - Please just read it! - Okay! 34 00:03:24,242 --> 00:03:25,577 Okay. 35 00:03:26,787 --> 00:03:29,223 "In the amazing book, Moby dick, by the author, Herman melville, 36 00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:31,666 the author recounts his story of being at sea. 37 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:34,061 In the first part of his book, the author, calling himself ishmael, 38 00:03:34,085 --> 00:03:35,462 is in a small seaside town, 39 00:03:35,545 --> 00:03:38,048 and he is sharing a bed with a man named queequeg." 40 00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:39,567 What is this? Why am I reading this? 41 00:03:39,591 --> 00:03:41,510 - I-I need to... - Just read any of it! 42 00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:43,874 "And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters 43 00:03:43,929 --> 00:03:45,406 that were only descriptions of whales, 44 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:47,408 because I knew that the author was just trying to save us 45 00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:48,475 from his own sad story... 46 00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:50,286 - Sad story. - Just for a little while." 47 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,478 Just for a little while. 48 00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:55,398 "This book made me think about my own life and then it made me feel glad for my..." 49 00:03:57,901 --> 00:03:59,694 Did that help? 50 00:04:00,487 --> 00:04:02,364 Look, do you have a phone? My phone is dead. 51 00:04:02,447 --> 00:04:04,115 I need to call an ambulance. 52 00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:06,451 - You need help. - I don't go to hospitals. 53 00:04:07,202 --> 00:04:10,163 - I can't help you, I don't... - I don't go to hospitals. 54 00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:15,001 I am sorry, um... you can go. 55 00:04:15,085 --> 00:04:16,670 Thank you for reading that to me. 56 00:04:22,759 --> 00:04:24,010 Are you sure you're okay? 57 00:04:26,263 --> 00:04:27,931 I'm sorry, who are you? 58 00:04:29,474 --> 00:04:31,474 Are you acquainted with the gospel of Jesus Christ? 59 00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:34,187 - What? - I'm sharing Christ's message of love, 60 00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:36,022 - and I'm showing people... - Oh. 61 00:04:36,106 --> 00:04:40,610 I think I should call my friend. She's a nurse, she takes care of me. 62 00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:43,488 Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. Sorry to bother you. 63 00:04:43,572 --> 00:04:44,573 Wait. 64 00:04:45,282 --> 00:04:47,242 My phone fell under there, can you... 65 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,830 Yeah, sure. 66 00:05:03,425 --> 00:05:04,968 Here it is. 67 00:05:10,599 --> 00:05:12,392 Hey, listen, I don't know what's gonna happen 68 00:05:12,475 --> 00:05:14,060 in the next few minutes. 69 00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:16,813 If you don't mind, could you... 70 00:05:16,897 --> 00:05:19,024 - Yeah. Yeah, of course. - Thank you. 71 00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:27,374 It's Liz. I'm not around. Leave a message. 72 00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:31,703 What was that thing that you had me read to you? 73 00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:34,247 It's an essay. 74 00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:36,333 It's my job. 75 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,502 I teach online college courses. 76 00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:41,146 But why did you have me read it to you? 77 00:05:45,342 --> 00:05:49,137 Because I thought I was dying. And I wanted to hear it one last time. 78 00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:56,895 You should have called an ambulance. 79 00:05:56,978 --> 00:05:58,939 With no health insurance? 80 00:05:59,022 --> 00:06:02,692 Being in debt is better than being dead. What's wrong with you? 81 00:06:03,902 --> 00:06:05,737 Why is there a missionary here? 82 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:08,782 Someone left the door unlocked. 83 00:06:08,865 --> 00:06:11,368 I left after you fell asleep earlier, 84 00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:13,578 I must've forgotten. 85 00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:16,873 Good thing, too. If I hadn't, you might have... 86 00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:19,084 - Liz, I don't like it when you... - Okay, okay. 87 00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:22,796 I just hate the thought of you being sealed up in this place when I'm not here. 88 00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:25,715 Now shut up, I'm trying to... 89 00:06:34,599 --> 00:06:36,226 - What? - Hush. 90 00:06:40,897 --> 00:06:42,565 Tell me what you felt. 91 00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:46,027 Pain, in my chest. Hard to breathe. 92 00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:48,196 I couldn't intake air. 93 00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:54,035 - How are you sleeping? - I'm not, really. 94 00:06:57,288 --> 00:06:58,498 Lean fonnard. 95 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:07,674 You're wheezing. 96 00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:09,676 I always wheeze, Liz. 97 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:12,804 You're wheezing more. Deep breath. 98 00:07:16,891 --> 00:07:19,811 - That hurt? - What was my blood pressure? 99 00:07:22,022 --> 00:07:24,149 238 over 134. 100 00:07:29,946 --> 00:07:31,448 Oh. 101 00:07:31,531 --> 00:07:32,741 Yeah. "Oh." 102 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:36,953 Hey, could you... 103 00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:39,873 I haven't been to the bathroom all day, I'm ready to explode. 104 00:08:18,745 --> 00:08:20,705 You need help in there? 105 00:08:21,581 --> 00:08:23,958 No, I'm fine. Sorry. 106 00:08:24,042 --> 00:08:25,502 What are you sorry about? 107 00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:28,880 I'm sorry. I don't know. Just sorry. 108 00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:31,257 - I should go. - Thank you. 109 00:08:31,341 --> 00:08:35,220 You must be from new life. You know Doug, from the church council? 110 00:08:36,346 --> 00:08:38,056 Yeah, I think so? 111 00:08:38,139 --> 00:08:40,934 I'm not entirely sure. I'm sort of new here, so... 112 00:08:41,017 --> 00:08:42,185 He's my dad. 113 00:08:44,062 --> 00:08:46,397 Doug and Cindy adopted me when I was a baby. 114 00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:49,692 Oh, that's great. I've never seen you there before, but, 115 00:08:49,776 --> 00:08:52,821 - again I'm sort of new, so... - Fucking hate new life. 116 00:08:52,904 --> 00:08:54,989 - Oh. - My dad forced me to go when I was a kid. 117 00:08:55,073 --> 00:08:59,077 It was awful, growing up with all that "end times" bullshit. 118 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:03,206 You're young. 119 00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:06,459 Why the hell would you want to believe that the world is about to end? 120 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:11,381 I believe that when Christ returns, it's gonna be beautiful. 121 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:16,052 Look, you can go. 122 00:09:17,554 --> 00:09:21,850 I know Charlie appreciates the help, but if you're here to convert him... 123 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:24,602 Oh, we don't convert, our message is a message of hope 124 00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:27,272 - for people of all... - People of all faiths. 125 00:09:27,355 --> 00:09:31,151 - I know. You're sweet. - But... 126 00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:37,073 Believe me, he doesn't want to hear about new life. 127 00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:39,284 Why? 128 00:09:40,285 --> 00:09:42,162 Because it's caused him a lot of pain. 129 00:09:42,912 --> 00:09:43,913 How? 130 00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:48,710 It killed his boyfriend. 131 00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:56,718 You're saying the church... 132 00:09:57,594 --> 00:10:01,139 Killed Charlie's boyfriend, yes. 133 00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:05,351 And I should add that new life has caused me a lot of pain in my life. 134 00:10:05,435 --> 00:10:10,398 So, we don't need you coming over here, especially not now, not this week. 135 00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:12,901 Why? 136 00:10:12,984 --> 00:10:15,028 Because he probably won't be here next week. 137 00:10:15,778 --> 00:10:17,280 Where's he going? 138 00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:19,574 I'm sorry you had to come over, Liz. 139 00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:22,202 No, it's okay. 140 00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:24,871 I'm sorry that I always think I'm dying. 141 00:10:24,954 --> 00:10:28,082 Charlie, your blood pressure is 238 over 134. 142 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,084 - I'm sorry. - Go to the hospital. 143 00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:32,045 - I'm sorry. - Stop saying you're sorry. 144 00:10:32,128 --> 00:10:34,297 Go to the hospital. 145 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:35,965 You have congestive heart failure. 146 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:39,010 If you don't go to the hospital, you'll be dead by the weekend. 147 00:10:40,094 --> 00:10:42,013 You will die. 148 00:10:43,932 --> 00:10:46,535 Well, then, I better get to work because I have a lot of essays this week. 149 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,436 God damn it! 150 00:10:48,519 --> 00:10:51,731 I know. I'm sorry, I'm an awful person. I know. 151 00:10:52,982 --> 00:10:55,902 I'm sorry. 152 00:10:55,985 --> 00:10:58,130 Did you still want to hear about Christ's message of love and salvation? 153 00:10:58,154 --> 00:11:00,448 - No, he does not! - Okay. Okay. 154 00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:02,200 I'll go. 155 00:11:04,369 --> 00:11:07,330 I still don't understand why you had me read that essay to you. 156 00:11:08,164 --> 00:11:09,749 It's a really good essay. 157 00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:13,962 Goodbye. 158 00:11:16,172 --> 00:11:18,776 Charlie, you have to go to the hospital. This has gone way too far. 159 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,095 And rack up tens of thousands of dollars in hospital bills 160 00:11:22,178 --> 00:11:24,555 I'll never be able to pay back, ever. 161 00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:26,557 This affects me too, you know? 162 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,812 You're my friend. 163 00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:33,314 I know. 164 00:11:35,024 --> 00:11:37,360 - I'm sorry. - You say you're sorry one more time, 165 00:11:37,443 --> 00:11:39,570 I will shove a knife right into you, I swear to god! 166 00:11:39,654 --> 00:11:41,364 Go ahead. What's it gonna do? 167 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:43,783 My internal organs are two feet in, at least. 168 00:11:59,799 --> 00:12:01,551 I've been telling you this would happen. 169 00:12:01,634 --> 00:12:03,303 I know. 170 00:12:05,513 --> 00:12:07,807 - Haven't I been telling you? - You have. 171 00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:19,986 A new gop presidential primary. 172 00:12:20,069 --> 00:12:22,739 However, they say absentee ballots are the lowest they've seen 173 00:12:22,822 --> 00:12:24,508 - in recent history. - That's not good. 174 00:12:24,532 --> 00:12:26,468 No, it's not. Get out and vote tomorrow. 175 00:12:26,492 --> 00:12:28,453 If you want to vote in the republican primary. 176 00:12:28,536 --> 00:12:30,747 Our current polls do show, among Republicans, 177 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,041 - 30% favor trump... - Liz. 178 00:12:33,124 --> 00:12:34,792 Senator Ted Cruz, 179 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:38,087 17% would vote for Florida senator Marco rubio, 180 00:12:38,171 --> 00:12:40,882 and 5% for Ohio governor John kasich. 181 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,091 Liz. 182 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:43,777 For someone else, if they could. 183 00:12:43,801 --> 00:12:45,845 Below a percent that just don't know. 184 00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,656 Meanwhile, Vermont senator Bernie Sanders 185 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,683 is expected to win the gem state on the Democratic side... 186 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:51,851 Please. 187 00:13:19,295 --> 00:13:20,338 Thank you. 188 00:13:45,113 --> 00:13:47,407 Oh, I've seen this one, it's good. 189 00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:42,628 "In the first part of his book, the author, 190 00:14:44,255 --> 00:14:46,215 calling himself ishmael, 191 00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:52,847 is in a small seaside town 192 00:14:54,307 --> 00:14:55,641 and he is 193 00:14:57,435 --> 00:15:01,022 sharing a bed with a man 194 00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:04,192 named queequeg. 195 00:15:08,404 --> 00:15:11,616 The author and queequeg go to church, 196 00:15:12,492 --> 00:15:17,330 and later, they set out on a ship captained by the pirate named 197 00:15:18,372 --> 00:15:19,499 ahab, 198 00:15:22,168 --> 00:15:23,794 who is missing a leg, 199 00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:27,590 and very much wants to kill the whale 200 00:15:29,634 --> 00:15:31,552 which is named Moby dick, 201 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:33,721 and which is white. 202 00:15:35,097 --> 00:15:36,682 In the course of the book, 203 00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,144 the pirate ahab encounters many hardships. 204 00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:47,109 His entire life is set around trying to kill a certain whale. 205 00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:48,903 I think this is sad 206 00:15:50,029 --> 00:15:53,366 Because the whale doesn't have any emotions. 207 00:15:56,869 --> 00:15:58,037 He's just 208 00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:00,915 a poor, big animal. 209 00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:08,005 And I feel bad for ahab as well... 210 00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:15,972 Because he thinks that his life will be better 211 00:16:16,055 --> 00:16:19,475 if he can just kill this whale. 212 00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:26,399 But in reality, 213 00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:29,694 It won't help him at all. 214 00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:34,490 This book made me think 215 00:16:35,157 --> 00:16:36,701 about my own life. 216 00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:42,248 This book made me think about my own life. 217 00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:49,463 This book made me think about my own life." 218 00:20:37,066 --> 00:20:38,859 Does this mean now I'm gonna get fat? 219 00:20:39,652 --> 00:20:42,738 No, it doesn't. 220 00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,115 I was always big. 221 00:20:45,199 --> 00:20:46,408 I just... 222 00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:48,619 I let it get out of control. 223 00:20:53,415 --> 00:20:56,877 So, was your mom okay with you coming over here? 224 00:20:57,628 --> 00:20:58,879 I didn't tell her. 225 00:21:01,924 --> 00:21:03,444 It's really good to see you. 226 00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:06,637 You look beautiful. 227 00:21:09,431 --> 00:21:10,766 So, how's school? 228 00:21:11,559 --> 00:21:14,395 - You're a senior, right? - You actually care? 229 00:21:14,478 --> 00:21:16,856 Well, of course I care. 230 00:21:16,939 --> 00:21:19,900 I pester your mom for information as often as she'll give it to me. 231 00:21:28,325 --> 00:21:30,744 So... 232 00:21:30,828 --> 00:21:33,289 Why are you... I mean, don't you have school? 233 00:21:33,372 --> 00:21:34,957 Got suspended this morning. 234 00:21:37,376 --> 00:21:38,377 Why? 235 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,880 I posted something about my stupid bitch lab partner 236 00:21:40,963 --> 00:21:43,215 that the vice principal said was "vaguely threatening." 237 00:21:46,886 --> 00:21:48,012 You don't like school? 238 00:21:48,095 --> 00:21:49,471 Only idiots like high school. 239 00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:53,350 But you're on track to graduate, right? 240 00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:56,687 Counselor says I might not. 241 00:21:58,230 --> 00:21:59,648 I'm not worried. 242 00:22:00,608 --> 00:22:02,067 I'm a smart person. 243 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:06,947 I never forget anything. High school is just bullshit. 244 00:22:07,031 --> 00:22:09,909 But, Ellie, it's important. If you don't graduate, then... 245 00:22:09,992 --> 00:22:11,832 Are you actually trying to parent me right now? 246 00:22:12,828 --> 00:22:14,747 No, I'm... sorry. 247 00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:15,915 I just... 248 00:22:16,624 --> 00:22:19,264 I just thought that maybe we could spend some time with each other. 249 00:22:19,710 --> 00:22:22,796 I'm not spending time with you. You're disgusting. 250 00:22:28,302 --> 00:22:31,305 Well, I'm a lot bigger than I was since last time you saw me. 251 00:22:31,388 --> 00:22:33,366 No, I'm not talking about what you look like. 252 00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:35,684 You'd be disgusting even if you weren't this fat. 253 00:22:36,977 --> 00:22:40,606 You'd still be that piece-of—shit dad who walked out on me when I was eight. 254 00:22:41,607 --> 00:22:43,651 All because he wanted to fuck one of his students. 255 00:22:43,734 --> 00:22:44,818 Can I have one of these? 256 00:22:50,783 --> 00:22:52,409 Look, it's-it's been a long time. 257 00:22:52,493 --> 00:22:56,872 I just thought that maybe we can get to know each other. 258 00:22:58,457 --> 00:22:59,750 I don't even know why I'm here. 259 00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:01,752 I can pay you. 260 00:23:06,465 --> 00:23:08,384 You want to pay me to spend time with you? 261 00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:10,302 And I can help you with your work. 262 00:23:10,386 --> 00:23:12,304 It's what I do for my job. 263 00:23:13,764 --> 00:23:15,391 I can help you pass your classes. 264 00:23:16,809 --> 00:23:18,394 - You teach online? - Yes. 265 00:23:18,477 --> 00:23:22,064 - Your students know what you look like? - I keep the camera shut off. 266 00:23:22,773 --> 00:23:24,149 Yeah, that's probably a good idea. 267 00:23:31,281 --> 00:23:34,618 My counselor says that if I show a lot of improvement in one subject, 268 00:23:34,702 --> 00:23:36,328 I might be able to graduate. 269 00:23:36,996 --> 00:23:40,249 You can rewrite these essays for English. They have to be really good, though. 270 00:23:44,503 --> 00:23:47,631 Well, look, um, I don't know if I should write them for you, 271 00:23:47,715 --> 00:23:50,115 - but I can work with you on them. - How much can you pay me? 272 00:23:51,176 --> 00:23:53,679 Everything I have. All the money I have in the bank. 273 00:23:53,762 --> 00:23:55,014 How much? 274 00:23:56,515 --> 00:24:00,060 $120,000? Something like that. I'd have to check. 275 00:24:01,145 --> 00:24:02,646 I never go out. 276 00:24:02,730 --> 00:24:06,483 All I pay for is food, uh, rent, Internet. 277 00:24:06,567 --> 00:24:08,902 And I work all the time. 278 00:24:09,903 --> 00:24:11,143 And you'd give all of it to me? 279 00:24:12,239 --> 00:24:13,782 Not to my mom, to me? 280 00:24:16,869 --> 00:24:21,206 Just... don't tell your mom, all right? 281 00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:27,463 And maybe you could do some writing just for me. 282 00:24:27,546 --> 00:24:28,756 Why? 283 00:24:28,839 --> 00:24:30,883 Because you're a smart person. 284 00:24:31,717 --> 00:24:34,553 And I bet you'd make a strong writer. 285 00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:39,683 Plus, I'm a teacher. I want to make sure you're getting something out of this. 286 00:24:43,645 --> 00:24:45,439 I don't even understand you. 287 00:24:55,908 --> 00:24:57,409 Stand up and walk over to me. 288 00:24:58,702 --> 00:25:00,788 - What? - Come over here. 289 00:25:00,871 --> 00:25:02,039 Walk toward me. 290 00:25:05,459 --> 00:25:07,461 No. No. Without this thing. 291 00:25:08,629 --> 00:25:10,964 Stand up and walk over here. 292 00:25:13,175 --> 00:25:14,615 - Ellie, I can't really... - Shut up! 293 00:25:16,345 --> 00:25:17,638 Come over here. 294 00:26:21,326 --> 00:26:23,328 "Celebrate my soul. 295 00:26:24,121 --> 00:26:25,706 Sell my soul." 296 00:26:27,583 --> 00:26:28,750 Gambino's! 297 00:26:29,626 --> 00:26:30,794 Yeah, you can, um... 298 00:26:31,795 --> 00:26:33,714 I put a $20 in the mailbox. 299 00:26:34,798 --> 00:26:35,841 Sure. 300 00:26:39,553 --> 00:26:41,930 You can just leave it on the... 301 00:26:42,014 --> 00:26:44,391 Yeah, I, uh... I remember. 302 00:26:46,393 --> 00:26:47,686 Everything okay in there? 303 00:26:55,068 --> 00:26:56,195 You sure? 304 00:26:58,739 --> 00:26:59,823 I'm fine. 305 00:27:02,326 --> 00:27:03,368 Thank you. 306 00:27:46,536 --> 00:27:48,705 Breathe slowly. 307 00:27:50,207 --> 00:27:51,208 Relax. 308 00:27:52,668 --> 00:27:55,170 It measures perspiration. It's an indicator of stress. 309 00:27:55,254 --> 00:27:58,298 It's about establishing a relationship between your brain and your body. 310 00:27:58,382 --> 00:28:01,027 If you know how to make yourself calm, then your blood pressure will... 311 00:28:01,051 --> 00:28:03,011 Here. 312 00:28:03,095 --> 00:28:05,055 I don't need a little machine to tell me 313 00:28:05,138 --> 00:28:07,391 to take a few deep breaths and stop sweating. 314 00:28:07,474 --> 00:28:09,893 Well, apparently, you fucking do. 315 00:28:09,977 --> 00:28:12,604 Take another deep breath. 316 00:28:15,315 --> 00:28:16,483 Thank you. 317 00:28:22,572 --> 00:28:25,409 We're just gonna try some different methods, or whatever. 318 00:28:26,243 --> 00:28:30,122 If you refuse to go to the hospital, then you'll... 319 00:28:31,081 --> 00:28:32,165 I don't know. 320 00:28:39,923 --> 00:28:41,341 Where'd this come from? 321 00:28:46,430 --> 00:28:47,472 Hey. 322 00:28:50,851 --> 00:28:51,852 Was she here? 323 00:28:55,063 --> 00:28:57,065 No, I don't like this. 324 00:28:57,149 --> 00:28:58,692 This isn't a good idea. 325 00:28:59,318 --> 00:29:01,320 You know you're not supposed to be around her. 326 00:29:02,362 --> 00:29:03,822 Does her mom know about this? 327 00:29:03,905 --> 00:29:05,282 I just wanted to see her. 328 00:29:05,365 --> 00:29:07,367 Mary has kept her from me all this time. 329 00:29:07,451 --> 00:29:09,953 Why do you suddenly need to see her so bad, why now? 330 00:29:10,037 --> 00:29:11,038 Liz. 331 00:29:18,295 --> 00:29:20,172 Why the hell do you have her homework, anyway? 332 00:29:20,964 --> 00:29:24,509 Look, I didn't plan for this. 333 00:29:24,593 --> 00:29:28,930 She needs some help at school, so I'm gonna help her with a few essays. 334 00:29:29,014 --> 00:29:31,850 You haven't seen her since she was eight years old, 335 00:29:31,933 --> 00:29:34,561 and you're gonna reconnect with her by doing her homework for her? 336 00:29:34,644 --> 00:29:36,271 - It's fine. - It's not fine. 337 00:29:38,899 --> 00:29:41,193 She shouldn't be around you when you're like this. 338 00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,821 What if something happens, what if you need help? 339 00:29:44,905 --> 00:29:47,657 Charlie, calm down. 340 00:29:48,492 --> 00:29:50,160 Hey. No. 341 00:29:52,537 --> 00:29:54,164 Okay. Forget it, then. 342 00:29:55,457 --> 00:29:57,584 - I'm worried about her. - Why? 343 00:30:00,045 --> 00:30:01,755 Oh, you're spying on her now? 344 00:30:03,298 --> 00:30:05,217 It doesn't look like she has any friends. 345 00:30:09,471 --> 00:30:11,098 I don't think this is... 346 00:30:14,976 --> 00:30:17,646 Come on, a dead dog? 347 00:30:23,902 --> 00:30:27,781 I'm worried that she's forgotten what an amazing person she is. 348 00:30:32,327 --> 00:30:33,787 She's just a teenager. 349 00:30:34,454 --> 00:30:36,498 Everyone is insane when they're a teenager. 350 00:30:36,581 --> 00:30:39,751 When I was her age, when my dad would really piss me off... 351 00:30:40,627 --> 00:30:43,171 I'm just lucky I didn't get arrested, that's all I'll say. 352 00:30:46,591 --> 00:30:47,759 Point is, 353 00:30:49,678 --> 00:30:52,013 bringing her over here is a bad idea. 354 00:30:52,097 --> 00:30:54,224 You have enough to deal with right now, you hear me? 355 00:30:55,725 --> 00:30:57,853 Do not bring her over here again. 356 00:30:57,936 --> 00:30:58,937 Okay. 357 00:31:00,689 --> 00:31:01,690 Okay. 358 00:31:06,153 --> 00:31:09,156 It's not like she's alone, you know. She has her mom. 359 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,956 Ugh, shit. I have to go soon. 360 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,209 I hate these night shifts. 361 00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:25,589 It's just a steady parade of dumb, drunk college kids. 362 00:31:27,466 --> 00:31:29,301 Did I tell you about this girl 363 00:31:29,384 --> 00:31:31,344 from a few nights ago? 364 00:31:31,428 --> 00:31:34,181 The puke was bright purple, I swear. 365 00:31:36,558 --> 00:31:37,809 I mean, what is that? 366 00:31:37,893 --> 00:31:40,562 Why can't these kids just drink beer, you know? 367 00:31:41,938 --> 00:31:44,024 Are you choking? 368 00:31:44,107 --> 00:31:46,776 Oh, god! Okay, lean on that arm. 369 00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:48,111 Lean on that arm! 370 00:31:48,945 --> 00:31:50,489 Okay, I need you to rock with me. 371 00:32:04,878 --> 00:32:07,506 I'm okay. 372 00:32:07,589 --> 00:32:09,007 I'm okay. 373 00:32:11,426 --> 00:32:14,721 God damn it, Charlie, what is wrong with you? 374 00:32:14,804 --> 00:32:17,057 Chew your food like a normal human being! 375 00:32:17,140 --> 00:32:19,142 You could have just died right in front of me! 376 00:32:19,226 --> 00:32:20,227 I'm sorry. 377 00:32:26,233 --> 00:32:27,651 I'm sorry, Liz. 378 00:32:55,595 --> 00:32:56,680 It's okay. 379 00:33:20,662 --> 00:33:22,914 I read through some of the posts 380 00:33:22,998 --> 00:33:25,792 in the class discussion forum this morning. 381 00:33:25,875 --> 00:33:30,755 In particular, a post about crafting a good thesis, 382 00:33:30,839 --> 00:33:34,759 and I quote, "just pick a sentence from the reading 383 00:33:34,843 --> 00:33:37,137 and say, 'it's good, ' or some shit." 384 00:33:37,220 --> 00:33:40,265 Listen, at this point in the course, 385 00:33:40,348 --> 00:33:43,351 I have given you all that I can, 386 00:33:43,435 --> 00:33:48,898 in terms of structure, building a thesis, paragraph organization. 387 00:33:49,649 --> 00:33:52,485 But if all of that isn't built 388 00:33:52,569 --> 00:33:55,447 on your own original ideas and truthful analysis, 389 00:33:55,530 --> 00:33:57,115 it doesn't mean anything. 390 00:33:58,325 --> 00:34:00,744 Think about that as you write and revise. 391 00:34:00,827 --> 00:34:03,663 Think about the truth of your argument. 392 00:34:04,831 --> 00:34:09,377 I know this may sound silly, but it's important. 393 00:34:10,295 --> 00:34:13,340 Promise, it's important. 394 00:35:32,001 --> 00:35:34,045 This is... 395 00:35:34,129 --> 00:35:37,173 You say that Walt Whitman wrote song for myself. 396 00:35:37,257 --> 00:35:38,675 Yeah? 397 00:35:38,758 --> 00:35:40,552 It's called song of myself 398 00:35:42,303 --> 00:35:43,388 my title's better. 399 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,603 Well... okay, I'll just change it. 400 00:35:52,355 --> 00:35:56,735 "The poem song of myself is in a book called leaves of grass. 401 00:35:56,818 --> 00:36:00,697 It was written by Walt Whitman and was published in 1855. 402 00:36:00,780 --> 00:36:02,574 He paid for the first publication himself." 403 00:36:02,657 --> 00:36:05,702 You don't have to read it out loud. Just rewrite it. 404 00:36:05,785 --> 00:36:09,164 You're supposed to analyze the poem. This is just a list of facts. 405 00:36:09,247 --> 00:36:11,499 Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia. 406 00:36:14,794 --> 00:36:16,546 You know, it's really an amazing poem. 407 00:36:16,629 --> 00:36:20,300 Whitman uses the metaphor of not to refer to himself, 408 00:36:20,383 --> 00:36:26,431 but to explode the very definition of self in favor of a more all-encompassing... 409 00:36:26,514 --> 00:36:28,308 I really, really don't care. 410 00:36:32,479 --> 00:36:34,856 You know, I think you might like it if you actually read it. 411 00:36:35,899 --> 00:36:38,318 You're just like my teachers. 412 00:36:38,401 --> 00:36:40,945 You think just because I'm not losing my shit over the poem, 413 00:36:41,029 --> 00:36:42,229 it's because I didn't read it. 414 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:43,448 I did read it. 415 00:36:43,531 --> 00:36:46,075 It's ovennritten, and dumb, and repetitive. 416 00:36:46,159 --> 00:36:48,703 And even though he thinks his metaphor of is deep, 417 00:36:48,787 --> 00:36:50,538 it's actuallyjust a bunch of bullshit. 418 00:36:50,622 --> 00:36:55,418 And, in reality, he's just some worthless 19th century faggot. 419 00:36:57,253 --> 00:36:59,005 That's an interesting perspective. 420 00:36:59,839 --> 00:37:01,883 It would make for an interesting essay. 421 00:37:04,010 --> 00:37:07,138 Just write that thing about exploding the definition of self. 422 00:37:07,222 --> 00:37:08,598 My English teacher will love it. 423 00:37:17,023 --> 00:37:19,943 - So, how's your mom doing? - Oh, my god. 424 00:37:21,528 --> 00:37:23,905 Look, if you're not gonna write these essays for me, then... 425 00:37:23,988 --> 00:37:27,575 Ellie, I don't need you here to write these essays for you. 426 00:37:27,659 --> 00:37:29,285 If you want to go, you can go. 427 00:37:30,286 --> 00:37:31,871 You can still have the money. 428 00:37:34,499 --> 00:37:36,876 - I thought you wanted to get to know me. - I do, 429 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,600 but I don't want to force you to be here. 430 00:37:39,963 --> 00:37:41,172 It's up to you. 431 00:37:47,262 --> 00:37:48,471 She's fine. 432 00:37:49,472 --> 00:37:50,682 Mom. I guess. 433 00:37:51,766 --> 00:37:54,185 - She happy? - When she drinks. 434 00:37:55,937 --> 00:37:59,566 You guys still live in that duplex over on orchard? 435 00:37:59,649 --> 00:38:01,359 You don't even know where we live? 436 00:38:03,736 --> 00:38:04,964 You don't stay in touch with mom? 437 00:38:04,988 --> 00:38:08,157 Yeah, I-I check in with her as often as she lets me. 438 00:38:08,241 --> 00:38:10,702 She really only tells me things about you. 439 00:38:10,785 --> 00:38:12,078 Why? 440 00:38:12,161 --> 00:38:13,997 Because that's all I want to know about. 441 00:38:20,253 --> 00:38:22,881 When I was 11, we moved to the other side of town, 442 00:38:23,673 --> 00:38:25,300 near the Walmart. 443 00:38:25,383 --> 00:38:26,634 Is your mother 444 00:38:27,552 --> 00:38:29,596 - with anyone right now? - No. 445 00:38:30,346 --> 00:38:31,764 Why, you interested? 446 00:38:31,848 --> 00:38:34,809 No, of course not. 447 00:38:42,567 --> 00:38:45,320 - Why'd you gain all that weight? - I don't... 448 00:38:45,403 --> 00:38:47,822 If you're gonna interrogate me, I'm gonna do the same thing. 449 00:38:50,116 --> 00:38:51,701 Why'd you gain all that weight? 450 00:38:55,580 --> 00:38:59,626 Someone close to me passed away, and it... 451 00:38:59,709 --> 00:39:02,086 It had an effect on me. 452 00:39:02,170 --> 00:39:03,171 Your boyfriend. 453 00:39:04,255 --> 00:39:06,799 - My partner. - Your student. 454 00:39:06,883 --> 00:39:09,010 He wasn't that young. It was a night school course. 455 00:39:09,093 --> 00:39:10,345 Oh, I remember him. 456 00:39:11,721 --> 00:39:15,141 You had him over for dinner once when mom was in Montana, visiting grandma. 457 00:39:16,434 --> 00:39:17,727 You made steaks. 458 00:39:18,645 --> 00:39:19,729 The good kind. 459 00:39:20,396 --> 00:39:22,815 Better meal than you ever made for me or mom. 460 00:39:22,899 --> 00:39:25,735 I remember hearing you two talk after I went to bed. 461 00:39:29,113 --> 00:39:30,698 How do you remember all that? 462 00:39:30,782 --> 00:39:33,159 I told you, I never forget anything. 463 00:39:43,127 --> 00:39:44,128 How'd he die? 464 00:39:46,297 --> 00:39:48,049 I... I don't... 465 00:39:48,132 --> 00:39:51,177 I'm... I really don't want to talk about that right now, 466 00:39:52,178 --> 00:39:53,638 if that's all right with you. 467 00:40:05,316 --> 00:40:07,402 I'll write these essays for you. 468 00:40:08,152 --> 00:40:12,699 I want you to do some writing, just for me. 469 00:40:12,782 --> 00:40:14,367 I hate writing essays. 470 00:40:14,450 --> 00:40:18,413 Just think about the poem for a while, and write something. 471 00:40:21,082 --> 00:40:24,210 Be honest. Tell me what you really think. 472 00:40:25,044 --> 00:40:26,713 You want me to write what I really think? 473 00:40:28,172 --> 00:40:29,465 I'll be right back. 474 00:40:30,466 --> 00:40:33,136 Just write whatever you want. 475 00:41:34,197 --> 00:41:35,323 Are you okay? 476 00:41:36,616 --> 00:41:38,776 Unless you're dying, there's no way I'm going in there. 477 00:41:39,827 --> 00:41:42,371 Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 478 00:42:06,896 --> 00:42:10,483 Hi. I was looking for Charlie? 479 00:42:10,566 --> 00:42:12,110 He's in the bathroom. 480 00:42:12,193 --> 00:42:13,736 Oh, I can come back. 481 00:42:19,158 --> 00:42:22,370 - Are you his friend, or... - I'm his daughter. 482 00:42:22,453 --> 00:42:25,039 - Oh. - Are you surprised? 483 00:42:25,790 --> 00:42:27,750 - Yeah, I guess. - What's more surprising? 484 00:42:27,834 --> 00:42:30,674 That a gay guy has a daughter, or that someone actually found his penis? 485 00:42:33,381 --> 00:42:35,967 I'm kidding. Jesus. 486 00:42:37,468 --> 00:42:41,556 Um... Charlie was interested in hearing more about my church, 487 00:42:41,639 --> 00:42:43,679 - and I brought some literature... - Are you mormon? 488 00:42:43,724 --> 00:42:44,767 No, I'm from new life. 489 00:42:44,851 --> 00:42:47,603 Oh. That end times cult thing. 490 00:42:47,687 --> 00:42:49,522 It's not a cult. 491 00:42:49,605 --> 00:42:51,440 Tell you one thing that I like about religion. 492 00:42:51,524 --> 00:42:54,986 What I like about religion is that it assumes that everyone is an idiot 493 00:42:55,069 --> 00:42:57,047 and that they're all incapable of saving themselves. 494 00:42:57,071 --> 00:42:58,751 I think they got something right with that. 495 00:42:58,781 --> 00:43:01,576 - I don't think like that... - What I don't like about religion 496 00:43:01,659 --> 00:43:04,328 is that when people accept Jesus or whatever, 497 00:43:04,412 --> 00:43:07,165 they suddenly think that they're better than everyone else. 498 00:43:07,248 --> 00:43:09,208 By accepting the fact that they're stupid sinners, 499 00:43:09,250 --> 00:43:12,920 somehow they've become better, and they turn into assholes. 500 00:43:14,922 --> 00:43:17,508 I don't really know what to say. I have some pamphlets 501 00:43:17,592 --> 00:43:19,192 that I think would... 502 00:43:19,218 --> 00:43:21,804 - Why did you just do that? - Are you coming back tomorrow? 503 00:43:21,888 --> 00:43:23,347 - I'm not sure. - Come back tomorrow. 504 00:43:23,431 --> 00:43:25,016 I'll be here around the same time. 505 00:43:25,099 --> 00:43:27,018 I'm sorry, what's happening? 506 00:43:29,478 --> 00:43:30,771 Oh! 507 00:43:30,855 --> 00:43:33,691 Hi. I was just coming over to share these pamphlets with you. 508 00:43:33,774 --> 00:43:35,318 You'll have those done by tomorrow? 509 00:43:36,110 --> 00:43:37,111 Sure. 510 00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:40,573 - Five-page minimum. - It'll be good, I promise. 511 00:43:43,659 --> 00:43:45,494 - I'm Ellie. - Thomas. 512 00:43:55,546 --> 00:43:57,924 Christ's return has been promised for centuries. 513 00:43:58,007 --> 00:44:00,760 But there are a lot of clues in scripture that suggest it's imminent. 514 00:44:00,843 --> 00:44:03,322 So, that means we don't have time to deny the gospel, we don't have... 515 00:44:03,346 --> 00:44:05,473 Do you really think that the world's gonna end soon? 516 00:44:06,515 --> 00:44:09,060 Well, the Bible says that no one shall know the day or the hour, 517 00:44:09,143 --> 00:44:12,521 but, yeah, I think we're probably living in end times. 518 00:44:12,605 --> 00:44:13,940 And that doesn't bother you? 519 00:44:14,023 --> 00:44:17,610 No. It's the idea that a better world is coming to replace this one. 520 00:44:17,693 --> 00:44:21,239 That everything terrible about this country, this planet, 521 00:44:21,322 --> 00:44:25,284 is gonna be wiped clean and replaced with something pure and holy, and... 522 00:44:25,368 --> 00:44:29,747 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I know all this. 523 00:44:29,830 --> 00:44:31,040 What do you mean? 524 00:44:31,123 --> 00:44:36,295 I have probably read everything new life church has ever written. 525 00:44:36,379 --> 00:44:39,382 Probably every pamphlet they've ever published. 526 00:44:39,465 --> 00:44:43,511 Wow, that's great and everything, but these tracts are just the beginning. 527 00:44:43,594 --> 00:44:45,012 There's so much more in the Bible 528 00:44:45,096 --> 00:44:46,496 - that we can... - I read the Bible. 529 00:44:47,139 --> 00:44:51,143 - Really? - Sure. Couple times. 530 00:44:51,936 --> 00:44:53,437 Did you like it? 531 00:44:53,521 --> 00:44:54,981 I thought it was devastating. 532 00:44:55,940 --> 00:44:58,693 God creates us, expels us from paradise. 533 00:44:58,776 --> 00:45:01,612 We wander around for thousands of years killing each other, 534 00:45:01,696 --> 00:45:04,865 before he comes back and saves 144,000 of us. 535 00:45:04,949 --> 00:45:08,452 Meanwhile, seven-and-a-half billion of us fall into hell. 536 00:45:12,164 --> 00:45:14,625 That's not really how I interpret it, but... 537 00:45:16,002 --> 00:45:17,962 Charlie, you have to understand, 538 00:45:18,838 --> 00:45:20,381 god hasn't turned his back on you. 539 00:45:21,424 --> 00:45:24,135 If you accept him, he'll release you from this. 540 00:45:24,218 --> 00:45:27,888 He'll take your soul out of this body and give you a brand-new body. 541 00:45:27,972 --> 00:45:30,057 One made of pure light. I mean, don't you want that? 542 00:45:30,141 --> 00:45:32,560 I'm not interested in being saved. 543 00:45:33,477 --> 00:45:37,064 I appreciate what you did the other day, but you can go. 544 00:45:37,148 --> 00:45:38,792 This doesn't sound like something that I... 545 00:45:38,816 --> 00:45:41,044 Look, I really think that god brought me here for a reason. 546 00:45:41,068 --> 00:45:43,446 There's a reason why I knocked on your door 547 00:45:43,529 --> 00:45:45,448 right when you needed someone the most. 548 00:45:45,531 --> 00:45:48,492 Isn't there any way I can help? 549 00:45:48,576 --> 00:45:49,952 I mean, that's the entire reason 550 00:45:50,036 --> 00:45:51,805 why I became a missionary in the first place, right? 551 00:45:51,829 --> 00:45:53,622 There's something you can do for me. 552 00:45:57,668 --> 00:45:59,962 - What? - Um, nothing, I just... 553 00:46:00,713 --> 00:46:04,925 I hope you know I wasn't talking about, um... 554 00:46:05,593 --> 00:46:07,678 - What? - I'm not... 555 00:46:07,762 --> 00:46:09,722 - Oh, my god. - I'm... I'm sorry. I just... 556 00:46:09,805 --> 00:46:11,116 - No. - With what you were watching 557 00:46:11,140 --> 00:46:14,380 - the first time I came in here, I just... - I am not attracted to you. 558 00:46:14,435 --> 00:46:17,563 Please, you gotta believe me when I say I'm not attracted to you. 559 00:46:17,646 --> 00:46:19,315 You're a fetus. 560 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,693 I'm sorry. 561 00:46:29,367 --> 00:46:31,786 Thomas, tell me the truth. 562 00:46:34,372 --> 00:46:35,915 You find me disgusting? 563 00:46:42,546 --> 00:46:44,173 I just want to help. 564 00:46:44,256 --> 00:46:47,009 Please, just let me help. 565 00:46:58,312 --> 00:47:00,981 Thank you. That's very helpful. 566 00:47:07,363 --> 00:47:08,989 What happened to your... sorry. 567 00:47:09,073 --> 00:47:12,410 Your friend, Liz, she said that your boyfriend, um, 568 00:47:12,493 --> 00:47:14,453 he used to go to new life? 569 00:47:16,747 --> 00:47:18,249 - Charlie? - Yeah. 570 00:47:19,083 --> 00:47:20,334 I got you this. 571 00:47:21,001 --> 00:47:22,670 I did some asking around, and... 572 00:47:24,922 --> 00:47:26,340 What the fuck is he doing here? 573 00:47:26,424 --> 00:47:29,635 He's just helping me with something. Take it easy, Liz. 574 00:47:29,718 --> 00:47:32,054 Okay, well, you can go now. 575 00:47:32,596 --> 00:47:33,597 Liz. 576 00:47:34,557 --> 00:47:35,891 Go home! 577 00:47:36,934 --> 00:47:38,519 - Sorry. I'm sorry. - Leave it. 578 00:47:38,602 --> 00:47:40,521 I said, leave it! 579 00:47:40,604 --> 00:47:42,773 Liz, would you stop? 580 00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:47,778 Actually, stay. We'll have a little chat. 581 00:47:51,699 --> 00:47:52,700 What's this? 582 00:47:53,951 --> 00:47:55,286 The fuck does it look like? 583 00:47:57,663 --> 00:47:58,956 It's a fat-guy wheelchair. 584 00:47:59,748 --> 00:48:01,459 And why do I need a wheelchair? 585 00:48:01,542 --> 00:48:03,961 I was talking to one of the er doctors, 586 00:48:04,837 --> 00:48:08,048 he said moderate activity would be a good idea. 587 00:48:08,132 --> 00:48:09,772 Sense of independence might help you out. 588 00:48:09,842 --> 00:48:11,153 And what did you pay for this thing? 589 00:48:11,177 --> 00:48:13,304 Nothing. We ordered it for a patient a few months ago. 590 00:48:13,387 --> 00:48:15,907 - It's just been sitting around. - What happened to the patient? 591 00:48:16,974 --> 00:48:19,977 Just try it out. Please. 592 00:48:30,321 --> 00:48:34,033 Beep. Beep. Beep. 593 00:48:39,663 --> 00:48:41,415 - Can I sit? - I gotcha. 594 00:48:49,507 --> 00:48:51,550 - Good? - Yeah, actually, this is really nice. 595 00:48:55,429 --> 00:48:57,097 Let me clear some space for you. 596 00:48:57,806 --> 00:48:59,141 Whee. 597 00:49:00,059 --> 00:49:01,060 Hello? 598 00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,691 Look, no hands. 599 00:49:09,568 --> 00:49:11,529 Thank you, Liz. This is great, so great. 600 00:49:11,612 --> 00:49:14,740 - See? I told you. - I know. 601 00:49:14,823 --> 00:49:16,492 - I should go. - Ah-pap-pap. 602 00:49:16,575 --> 00:49:17,952 Not until we have our little chat. 603 00:49:19,119 --> 00:49:20,996 - What? - Come on. 604 00:49:27,419 --> 00:49:28,546 Liz. 605 00:49:28,629 --> 00:49:30,256 Just gimme a minute with him. 606 00:49:57,783 --> 00:49:58,826 Where are you from? 607 00:50:00,119 --> 00:50:01,120 What? 608 00:50:01,203 --> 00:50:03,163 You said you've only been here for a little while. 609 00:50:06,292 --> 00:50:07,793 Where you from? 610 00:50:07,876 --> 00:50:11,130 Uh, Iowa. A town called Waterloo? 611 00:50:11,922 --> 00:50:12,965 You asking me? 612 00:50:13,841 --> 00:50:15,634 No. I'm from Waterloo. 613 00:50:15,718 --> 00:50:16,719 Okay. 614 00:50:16,802 --> 00:50:19,346 Your whole family move out here for new life? 615 00:50:20,347 --> 00:50:21,807 No, it's just me. 616 00:50:21,890 --> 00:50:24,101 I wanted to do some missionary work before school. 617 00:50:25,894 --> 00:50:27,980 You're from Iowa, 618 00:50:28,063 --> 00:50:30,941 and you came to Idaho to do missionary work? 619 00:50:31,567 --> 00:50:33,319 Why aren't you in Africa or something? 620 00:50:33,402 --> 00:50:35,202 Idaho needs the word as much as anywhere else. 621 00:50:42,202 --> 00:50:45,331 Okay, listen. I know this is fun for you. 622 00:50:45,414 --> 00:50:48,292 You get to travel around, act superior than everyone else, 623 00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:50,753 and eventually, you go home, 624 00:50:50,836 --> 00:50:53,005 get some boring job, have too many kids. 625 00:50:53,088 --> 00:50:54,089 It's god's plan. 626 00:50:54,173 --> 00:50:57,051 But there are other types of people. 627 00:50:57,134 --> 00:51:01,764 People like Charlie, for whom this amazing plan doesn't fit. 628 00:51:02,681 --> 00:51:05,893 So, just stay away from him. 629 00:51:05,976 --> 00:51:07,478 He doesn't need this right now. 630 00:51:09,730 --> 00:51:11,231 I disagree. 631 00:51:11,315 --> 00:51:13,901 - Excuse me? - Sorry, I just, uh... 632 00:51:13,984 --> 00:51:15,486 He's dying. 633 00:51:15,569 --> 00:51:18,489 He's refusing to go to the hospital. What he needs is spiritual guidance. 634 00:51:18,572 --> 00:51:20,199 And you're gonna give him that? 635 00:51:20,282 --> 00:51:22,326 No. God will. 636 00:51:25,037 --> 00:51:26,121 I see. 637 00:51:45,224 --> 00:51:47,393 My big brother did some missionary work for new life. 638 00:51:49,395 --> 00:51:50,771 Went to South America. 639 00:51:53,774 --> 00:51:54,858 I was the black sheep. 640 00:51:54,942 --> 00:51:57,361 I refused to go to church ever since I was 12. 641 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,364 Dad knew I was a lost cause, but... 642 00:52:02,199 --> 00:52:05,285 Not my brother, he loved new life. 643 00:52:06,245 --> 00:52:08,288 He wrote me a letter a few months after he left, 644 00:52:08,372 --> 00:52:10,958 told me he was tired, and lonely, 645 00:52:11,041 --> 00:52:13,802 but he didn't want to come home because he didn't want to get married. 646 00:52:14,378 --> 00:52:15,587 He didn't want to get married? 647 00:52:15,671 --> 00:52:17,005 Dad had set it all up. 648 00:52:17,089 --> 00:52:18,590 Pushed him into getting married 649 00:52:18,674 --> 00:52:21,885 to this girl from the church he barely knew. 650 00:52:21,969 --> 00:52:24,346 But when he came back, he met someone else. 651 00:52:24,430 --> 00:52:26,306 Fell in love, started a whole new life. 652 00:52:26,390 --> 00:52:30,269 And dad kicked him out of the church. 653 00:52:30,352 --> 00:52:31,478 And the family. 654 00:52:33,313 --> 00:52:36,608 I thought he was gonna be able to get over all that religious stuff, 655 00:52:36,692 --> 00:52:39,945 but it was like a cancer. 656 00:52:40,028 --> 00:52:42,448 He couldn't shake it. 657 00:52:42,531 --> 00:52:45,868 He just caved in on himself, stopped sleeping, stopped eating. 658 00:52:45,951 --> 00:52:47,202 Lost a ton of weight. 659 00:52:48,704 --> 00:52:50,748 One night, he doesn't come home. 660 00:52:52,708 --> 00:52:55,461 Couple weeks later, this guy is out jogging on a bike path 661 00:52:55,544 --> 00:52:58,088 near the river in lewiston, sees something washed up on shore, 662 00:52:58,172 --> 00:52:59,965 and that was Alan. 663 00:53:02,176 --> 00:53:04,511 The love of Charlie's life, and my brother. 664 00:53:06,138 --> 00:53:08,098 - Oh. - Yeah. "Oh." 665 00:53:08,182 --> 00:53:10,350 To this day, my dad won't admit it. 666 00:53:11,059 --> 00:53:13,729 Told the whole congregation Alan's death was... 667 00:53:15,355 --> 00:53:17,649 Just an unfortunate accident. 668 00:53:20,194 --> 00:53:23,155 Denying him to the end. 669 00:53:31,997 --> 00:53:34,917 Look, I know that you don't trust me. 670 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,419 And I know that I haven't known him for very long, 671 00:53:37,503 --> 00:53:40,464 but I really think that god brought me here, 672 00:53:40,547 --> 00:53:42,382 right when Charlie needs it the most. 673 00:53:42,466 --> 00:53:44,146 I just want him to be saved, that's all... 674 00:53:44,176 --> 00:53:45,427 You listen to me! 675 00:53:45,511 --> 00:53:47,054 He doesn't need saving! 676 00:53:48,305 --> 00:53:50,599 In a few days, he's probably going to be dead, 677 00:53:50,682 --> 00:53:53,185 so what he needs is for you to leave him alone. 678 00:53:53,268 --> 00:53:54,812 I'm the only one who can help him. 679 00:53:54,895 --> 00:53:56,335 - You understand me? - Liz. 680 00:54:24,299 --> 00:54:27,302 You wanna watch some Maury? 681 00:54:28,595 --> 00:54:30,097 Sounds good, right? 682 00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:36,728 Actually, I got another night shift tonight. I better, uh... 683 00:54:36,812 --> 00:54:38,105 You good for the night? 684 00:54:39,857 --> 00:54:42,526 I'll leave the remote here. 685 00:56:13,408 --> 00:56:14,868 Gambino's! 686 00:56:14,952 --> 00:56:16,995 Yeah. You can, uh... 687 00:56:17,079 --> 00:56:19,498 Money in the mailbox, leave it on the bench. 688 00:56:20,457 --> 00:56:22,209 Yeah. Thanks. 689 00:56:23,877 --> 00:56:25,045 I'm Dan. 690 00:56:27,631 --> 00:56:28,840 What? 691 00:56:28,924 --> 00:56:31,843 I just... my name, it's Dan. 692 00:56:33,679 --> 00:56:35,555 I've been coming here for a while now. 693 00:56:36,306 --> 00:56:38,433 Just thought you'd wanna know my name. 694 00:56:40,894 --> 00:56:41,937 Charlie. 695 00:56:43,271 --> 00:56:44,606 Hey, Charlie. 696 00:56:47,109 --> 00:56:49,069 Have a good night, okay? 697 00:56:56,952 --> 00:57:00,622 It sure did. More Idaho Republicans want to see senator Ted Cruz 698 00:57:00,706 --> 00:57:02,541 in the white house than any other candidate. 699 00:57:02,624 --> 00:57:06,878 Cruz will split Idaho's 32 delegates with Donald Trump, 700 00:57:06,962 --> 00:57:10,007 the only other candidate to clear that 20% threshold. 701 00:57:10,090 --> 00:57:13,301 It was a disappointing night for senator Marco rubio 702 00:57:13,385 --> 00:57:15,220 who failed to win any delegates 703 00:57:15,303 --> 00:57:17,973 in the four states that held primaries, while... 704 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,877 "This apartment smells. 705 00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:51,006 This notebook is retarded. I hate everyone." 706 00:58:00,223 --> 00:58:03,060 This apartment smells. 707 00:58:03,143 --> 00:58:07,230 This notebook is retarded. 708 00:58:07,314 --> 00:58:10,567 I hate everyone. 709 00:58:23,622 --> 00:58:25,540 "And I felt saddest of all 710 00:58:26,458 --> 00:58:28,418 when I read the boring chapters 711 00:58:29,586 --> 00:58:31,588 that were only descriptions of whales 712 00:58:32,422 --> 00:58:34,257 because I knew 713 00:58:35,842 --> 00:58:38,637 that the author was just trying to save us 714 00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:40,514 from his own sad story, 715 00:58:41,598 --> 00:58:43,225 just for a little while." 716 00:58:46,186 --> 00:58:47,771 "This apartment smells. 717 00:58:50,023 --> 00:58:52,484 This apartment smells." 718 00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:58,490 "The author was just trying to save us from his own sad story." 719 00:58:59,866 --> 00:59:01,243 "I hate everyone." 720 00:59:05,497 --> 00:59:06,873 "I hate everyone." 721 00:59:12,504 --> 00:59:13,505 Do you have it? 722 00:59:14,297 --> 00:59:15,632 It's almost done. 723 00:59:17,717 --> 00:59:21,012 You can wait while I finish it up, 724 00:59:23,223 --> 00:59:24,349 print it out. 725 00:59:27,144 --> 00:59:30,730 Maybe while you're waiting, you can write some more in your notebook. 726 00:59:30,814 --> 00:59:32,023 Oh, my god. 727 00:59:32,107 --> 00:59:34,276 You've only written a couple sentences so far. 728 00:59:34,359 --> 00:59:36,278 - Can you write more? - I kind of hate you. 729 00:59:36,361 --> 00:59:39,739 Yeah. Well, you hate everyone. 730 00:59:40,740 --> 00:59:43,243 Listen, just keep going. 731 00:59:43,326 --> 00:59:44,578 Forget about the poem. 732 00:59:44,661 --> 00:59:47,330 Write whatever you want, whatever you're thinking. 733 00:59:47,414 --> 00:59:49,207 Okay. Be quiet, just... 734 01:00:05,682 --> 01:00:08,643 You know, I was in a really strange place in my life 735 01:00:08,727 --> 01:00:11,229 - when I married your mom. - Did I fucking ask? 736 01:00:12,063 --> 01:00:13,648 I just wish... 737 01:00:13,732 --> 01:00:15,066 I'm so... I'm sorry. 738 01:00:25,535 --> 01:00:27,287 I understand that you're angry. 739 01:00:33,126 --> 01:00:38,048 You don't have to be angry at the whole world. 740 01:00:41,343 --> 01:00:43,386 You can just be angry at me. 741 01:00:43,470 --> 01:00:45,096 Okay, you know what? 742 01:00:45,180 --> 01:00:47,557 You can't throw me away like a piece of garbage, 743 01:00:47,641 --> 01:00:49,935 and then suddenlyjust want to be my dad eight years later. 744 01:00:50,810 --> 01:00:53,688 You left me for your boyfriend. 745 01:00:53,772 --> 01:00:55,482 It's that simple. 746 01:00:55,565 --> 01:00:57,376 And if you've been telling yourself anything different, 747 01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:58,818 then you're lying to yourself. 748 01:01:03,073 --> 01:01:04,491 But you know what? I'm glad. I'm... 749 01:01:04,574 --> 01:01:07,994 I'm glad, because you taught me something very important. 750 01:01:08,078 --> 01:01:11,831 People are assholes. 751 01:01:11,915 --> 01:01:13,583 Most people learn that way too late. 752 01:01:14,668 --> 01:01:16,920 You... you taught me that when I was eight. 753 01:01:19,422 --> 01:01:20,882 Thank you for that. 754 01:01:31,184 --> 01:01:32,394 You know, you could've... 755 01:01:33,645 --> 01:01:34,688 What? 756 01:01:35,522 --> 01:01:37,440 You could've been sending us money. 757 01:01:38,942 --> 01:01:42,237 If you had all that money saved up, and wanted to be a part of my life so bad, 758 01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,698 - you could've been sending money to mom. - I did. 759 01:01:44,781 --> 01:01:47,033 Yeah, I mean more than just child support. 760 01:01:57,877 --> 01:01:59,045 I did. 761 01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:04,592 When I left your mom, she did not want me around you. 762 01:02:05,552 --> 01:02:09,889 I hoped that she would change her mind eventually, but she... 763 01:02:09,973 --> 01:02:11,975 You could have just fucking called me. 764 01:02:13,059 --> 01:02:14,269 All this time, you... 765 01:02:15,478 --> 01:02:17,272 You could have been a part of my life. 766 01:02:19,107 --> 01:02:20,275 Ellie. 767 01:02:22,068 --> 01:02:23,153 Look at me. 768 01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,120 Who would want me to be a part of their life? 769 01:02:44,007 --> 01:02:45,133 I'm hungry. 770 01:02:47,177 --> 01:02:49,429 There's some stuff for sandwiches in the fridge. 771 01:02:54,434 --> 01:02:56,353 I'll make you one, but it's going to be small. 772 01:03:00,732 --> 01:03:02,359 And I'm only using Turkey, 773 01:03:03,151 --> 01:03:04,361 and no mayonnaise. 774 01:03:09,824 --> 01:03:11,534 - What? - Nothing. 775 01:03:12,744 --> 01:03:14,662 You're an amazing person, Ellie. 776 01:03:14,746 --> 01:03:17,624 I hope you know what an amazing person you are. 777 01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:21,878 I couldn't ask for a more incredible daughter. 778 01:03:24,631 --> 01:03:26,299 I'll print that out for you now. 779 01:05:20,830 --> 01:05:22,457 Yeah? 780 01:05:22,540 --> 01:05:24,626 Uh... hello? 781 01:05:26,836 --> 01:05:29,130 Hi. 782 01:05:30,256 --> 01:05:31,299 Come on. 783 01:05:32,634 --> 01:05:34,511 Is he... is he okay? 784 01:05:34,594 --> 01:05:37,305 I don't know. I ground up some Ambien and I put it in his sandwich. 785 01:05:37,388 --> 01:05:40,058 - What? - I only gave him a couple. He's fine. 786 01:05:40,141 --> 01:05:42,536 - I can take, like, three at a time. - Where did you get Ambien? 787 01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:43,770 I had sex with a pharmacist. 788 01:05:45,688 --> 01:05:49,025 I'm kidding. Gross. My mom pops them like tic tacs. 789 01:05:49,108 --> 01:05:51,236 I don't know if he should be taking Ambien. 790 01:05:53,571 --> 01:05:56,074 Does this make you nervous? 'Cause it's just pot. 791 01:05:56,157 --> 01:05:57,951 It's not like I'm smoking meth or anything. 792 01:05:58,034 --> 01:05:59,911 I know. I-I know what pot is, okay? 793 01:05:59,994 --> 01:06:01,913 No. You only think you know what pot is 794 01:06:01,996 --> 01:06:03,974 because your parents told you a bunch of lies about it. 795 01:06:03,998 --> 01:06:06,584 Don't. I know what drugs are. I've smoked pot before. 796 01:06:06,668 --> 01:06:10,213 - Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed. - I wasn't trying to impress you. 797 01:06:10,296 --> 01:06:12,966 - You've not smoked pot before. - Yes, I have. It... 798 01:06:14,509 --> 01:06:15,927 It was kind of a problem. 799 01:06:16,928 --> 01:06:19,365 That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my entire life. 800 01:06:19,389 --> 01:06:21,558 I was smoking every day. I had a problem. 801 01:06:21,641 --> 01:06:23,810 You were a stoner. You had a hobby. 802 01:06:25,019 --> 01:06:27,039 All right, I'm gonna go. Just tell him I was here and I'll... 803 01:06:27,063 --> 01:06:29,250 If you leave, I'll feed him the rest of the pills I have in the bottle. 804 01:06:29,274 --> 01:06:30,358 - What? - Yeah. 805 01:06:31,025 --> 01:06:34,237 There's, like, 20, 30 more in here. 806 01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:35,989 I'll crush them up, 807 01:06:36,072 --> 01:06:37,967 I'll put them in some water, 808 01:06:37,991 --> 01:06:39,311 And I'll pour it down his throat. 809 01:06:40,076 --> 01:06:41,716 You wouldn't actually do that, would you? 810 01:06:49,460 --> 01:06:50,940 So, why do you keep coming back here? 811 01:06:53,047 --> 01:06:56,259 He needs help. He needs god in his life right now. 812 01:06:56,342 --> 01:06:57,844 That's a stupid reason. 813 01:06:58,678 --> 01:07:00,513 Do you think he wants to have sex with you? 814 01:07:00,597 --> 01:07:02,390 That is so gross, oh, my god. 815 01:07:02,473 --> 01:07:04,058 - Take a hit. - I don't want... 816 01:07:04,142 --> 01:07:05,869 If you don't take a hit, I'm gonna call the police 817 01:07:05,893 --> 01:07:08,333 and I'm gonna tell them that you tried to rape me. Take a hit. 818 01:07:10,523 --> 01:07:13,568 - I don't understand you at all. - Oh, my god. 819 01:07:14,902 --> 01:07:17,822 - Is there a carb on this? - Ooh, I'm impressed. 820 01:07:17,905 --> 01:07:20,450 - I wasn't trying to impress you. - There isn't a carb. 821 01:07:32,712 --> 01:07:34,505 Calm down. 822 01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:36,692 - What are you gonna do with that picture? - I'm gonna masturbate to it. 823 01:07:36,716 --> 01:07:39,396 Is that what you want me to say? You're a pervert. Take another hit. 824 01:07:41,179 --> 01:07:43,222 Look, I'm just fucking with you, all right? 825 01:07:43,306 --> 01:07:44,932 I'm not gonna kill anyone, 826 01:07:45,016 --> 01:07:47,894 I'm not gonna tell anyone that you tried to rape me. 827 01:07:47,977 --> 01:07:49,413 You're not going to give him any more Ambien? 828 01:07:49,437 --> 01:07:50,855 No. 829 01:07:52,523 --> 01:07:54,233 Why do you keep coming back here? 830 01:07:56,611 --> 01:07:58,112 I don't know. 831 01:07:58,196 --> 01:08:00,036 Seriously, if you hate him so much, then why... 832 01:08:00,073 --> 01:08:01,574 I'm done answering questions now. 833 01:08:07,747 --> 01:08:08,956 Can I take another hit? 834 01:08:10,667 --> 01:08:12,001 It goes against your religion, 835 01:08:13,294 --> 01:08:14,545 and that makes you a hypocrite. 836 01:08:16,464 --> 01:08:17,548 Go ahead. 837 01:08:28,476 --> 01:08:29,870 I really wish that you wouldn't do that. 838 01:08:29,894 --> 01:08:31,534 Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time. 839 01:08:32,772 --> 01:08:35,274 Do you find me attractive? 840 01:08:35,358 --> 01:08:39,320 Because I'm not attracted to you at all, just to let you know. 841 01:08:40,238 --> 01:08:41,507 I'm not trying to be mean or anything. 842 01:08:41,531 --> 01:08:45,076 I just don't think you're very good-looking, or interesting. 843 01:08:45,159 --> 01:08:46,577 Or intelligent. 844 01:08:48,996 --> 01:08:51,749 Oh, my god, grow up. Maybe someone else finds you attractive. 845 01:08:51,833 --> 01:08:53,936 - Maybe my dad finds you attractive. - I really wish you... 846 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:55,920 You know, it is so easy to make you uncomfortable. 847 01:08:56,003 --> 01:08:59,507 It's honestly... it's a little sad. You can cash that out. 848 01:09:13,521 --> 01:09:16,107 If my parents knew I was getting high, 849 01:09:16,190 --> 01:09:18,043 getting high while out witnessing for the church... 850 01:09:18,067 --> 01:09:19,068 You're not from new life. 851 01:09:20,737 --> 01:09:21,738 What? 852 01:09:21,821 --> 01:09:23,821 There's a kid in the grade below me who goes there. 853 01:09:24,741 --> 01:09:27,219 He told me that they stopped doing door-to-door stuff last year 854 01:09:27,243 --> 01:09:29,954 when some woman was out preaching or whatever, 855 01:09:30,037 --> 01:09:32,165 and a guy answered the door with no clothes on. 856 01:09:33,416 --> 01:09:35,460 - I gotta go. - Who are you, really? 857 01:09:37,044 --> 01:09:38,671 Come on, just tell me! 858 01:09:39,589 --> 01:09:40,590 Why do you care? 859 01:09:40,673 --> 01:09:42,842 Because I think we have a blossoming friendship. 860 01:09:44,343 --> 01:09:45,803 You're just messing with me. 861 01:09:47,096 --> 01:09:48,264 No, I'm not. 862 01:09:49,515 --> 01:09:50,795 You're not going to tell anyone? 863 01:09:52,351 --> 01:09:53,478 Who am I gonna tell? 864 01:10:01,694 --> 01:10:02,904 I was on a mission. 865 01:10:06,365 --> 01:10:08,534 With a group from my church, back in Waterloo, 866 01:10:09,702 --> 01:10:11,078 my hometown in Iowa. 867 01:10:12,330 --> 01:10:16,584 When my dad caught me smoking pot, he thought a mission would be a good idea. 868 01:10:16,667 --> 01:10:19,837 I mean, the truth is, he's just embarrassed by me 869 01:10:19,921 --> 01:10:22,131 and wanted me gone for a while. 870 01:10:22,965 --> 01:10:25,426 Anyway, I just left. 871 01:10:28,304 --> 01:10:29,555 I couldn't do it anymore. 872 01:10:31,599 --> 01:10:32,600 Why? 873 01:10:33,726 --> 01:10:34,894 The mission leader, 874 01:10:36,395 --> 01:10:39,232 this guy, Jerry, all he had us doing was standing on corners 875 01:10:39,315 --> 01:10:41,108 and handing out pamphlets. 876 01:10:41,192 --> 01:10:42,552 The end of each day, he'd be like, 877 01:10:42,610 --> 01:10:44,330 "look how many people we're helping," but... 878 01:10:44,987 --> 01:10:47,532 I tried to talk to him about different ways we can minister. 879 01:10:47,615 --> 01:10:50,868 I mean, different ways that we could actually help people. But... 880 01:10:52,161 --> 01:10:54,413 You could just tell that he didn't need to earn 881 01:10:54,497 --> 01:10:56,249 or prove his faith at all. 882 01:10:59,168 --> 01:11:02,547 After a while, I was just like, "am I really helping?" 883 01:11:03,756 --> 01:11:06,050 No. You were not. 884 01:11:07,260 --> 01:11:09,178 Yeah, I started to feel that way, too. 885 01:11:10,888 --> 01:11:14,100 I don't feel that way, I know that you weren't helping people. 886 01:11:14,183 --> 01:11:16,787 It doesn't help people to tell them that they should believe in god. 887 01:11:16,811 --> 01:11:18,020 Why would that help people? 888 01:11:18,855 --> 01:11:22,775 I just thought... I see all my family, my friends, 889 01:11:24,151 --> 01:11:25,486 they're all just so happy. 890 01:11:30,449 --> 01:11:31,909 I just want to be like that. 891 01:11:34,036 --> 01:11:35,371 So, why'd you leave, then? 892 01:11:36,706 --> 01:11:39,458 I was worried I was gonna get arrested. 893 01:11:40,167 --> 01:11:41,168 For smoking pot? 894 01:11:42,712 --> 01:11:44,046 For stealing from the mission. 895 01:11:52,013 --> 01:11:56,017 One day, I ditched the pamphlets. I went door-to-door. 896 01:11:56,100 --> 01:11:57,852 I started actually engaging with people. 897 01:11:57,935 --> 01:12:02,064 Finally. I mean, it felt like I was doing something, helping someone. 898 01:12:05,484 --> 01:12:08,487 And that night, I went back to the mission meeting, 899 01:12:08,571 --> 01:12:10,132 and I told everyone what I did that day, 900 01:12:10,156 --> 01:12:12,050 and Jerry was like, "that's not what we do, buddy." 901 01:12:12,074 --> 01:12:13,260 And I was like, "well, why not?" 902 01:12:13,284 --> 01:12:15,953 And we got in this huge argument in front of everyone, and... 903 01:12:20,416 --> 01:12:23,544 And that night, I decided to leave. 904 01:12:23,628 --> 01:12:25,671 And when everyone went to sleep, I... 905 01:12:25,755 --> 01:12:27,048 I took the petty cash. 906 01:12:28,883 --> 01:12:29,967 How much? 907 01:12:33,429 --> 01:12:35,556 $2,436. 908 01:12:37,767 --> 01:12:40,645 - Oh. - Yeah. "Oh." 909 01:12:42,480 --> 01:12:43,731 I got on a bus. 910 01:12:44,857 --> 01:12:48,194 Jerry and my parents were calling me over and over again. 911 01:12:49,695 --> 01:12:51,322 I just tossed my phone. 912 01:12:53,783 --> 01:12:56,744 After a while, I wound up here. 913 01:13:00,498 --> 01:13:03,876 I thought I could use this money for my own mission. 914 01:13:05,336 --> 01:13:08,506 You know, see my faith save just one person. 915 01:13:09,924 --> 01:13:12,426 But now I'm almost out of money. I just... 916 01:13:13,427 --> 01:13:14,679 I can't go home, and... 917 01:13:15,554 --> 01:13:17,390 My parents probably wanna disown me. 918 01:13:22,937 --> 01:13:24,563 I don't know what to do. 919 01:13:35,199 --> 01:13:36,701 You're more interesting to me now. 920 01:13:39,745 --> 01:13:40,788 Thanks. 921 01:13:53,509 --> 01:13:55,177 So, that's why you wanna save my dad. 922 01:14:16,032 --> 01:14:17,033 Mom? 923 01:14:17,116 --> 01:14:18,743 - Don't freak out. - Shut up. 924 01:14:21,245 --> 01:14:22,329 You again? 925 01:14:23,164 --> 01:14:24,373 Charlie? 926 01:14:24,457 --> 01:14:25,791 Charlie? 927 01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:29,045 Charlie? 928 01:14:30,421 --> 01:14:31,714 Charlie. 929 01:14:46,562 --> 01:14:48,314 Not with the oxygen tank. 930 01:14:49,899 --> 01:14:50,941 I'll stand by the window. 931 01:14:57,865 --> 01:15:00,951 Ellie told you she was coming over? 932 01:15:01,035 --> 01:15:04,497 No. I did. And just in time, looks like. 933 01:15:05,289 --> 01:15:06,707 You having any more pain? 934 01:15:08,292 --> 01:15:10,336 How easy is it to move? 935 01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:12,213 Not very. 936 01:15:12,296 --> 01:15:14,757 Any confusion? Have you felt disoriented, 937 01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:16,443 forgotten where you are or what you're doing? 938 01:15:16,467 --> 01:15:19,887 - Am I okay? - No, you're not okay. 939 01:15:19,970 --> 01:15:21,656 But as far as the sleeping pills, you're fine. 940 01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:24,280 - I don't think she gave you much. - Yeah, that's what I told you. 941 01:15:26,268 --> 01:15:29,063 You know, I was a very angry, very stupid little girl once, too, 942 01:15:29,146 --> 01:15:30,665 but if you would've given him any more pills than that... 943 01:15:30,689 --> 01:15:32,209 Yeah, but I didn't give him more pills than that, 944 01:15:32,233 --> 01:15:33,818 - I gave him two pills. - Ellie? 945 01:15:34,944 --> 01:15:36,362 How much money did he offer you? 946 01:15:42,243 --> 01:15:44,954 - All of it? - How do you know about the money? 947 01:15:45,037 --> 01:15:46,122 You think I'm an idiot? 948 01:15:46,997 --> 01:15:49,208 You think I would believe that you were coming over here 949 01:15:49,291 --> 01:15:51,460 out of the kindness of your heart? 950 01:15:51,544 --> 01:15:54,839 Charlie doesn't have any money. 951 01:15:56,799 --> 01:15:58,634 - She doesn't know? - Mary. 952 01:15:58,717 --> 01:16:01,846 Where do you think all the money from his teaching has been going? 953 01:16:01,929 --> 01:16:03,055 The account for Ellie? 954 01:16:03,139 --> 01:16:05,266 By now, it has to be huge. 955 01:16:05,349 --> 01:16:07,518 Over $100,000 at least, right? 956 01:16:12,606 --> 01:16:13,899 That's not true, is it? 957 01:16:17,820 --> 01:16:18,988 Charlie. 958 01:16:20,406 --> 01:16:22,616 We could have gotten you anything you needed. 959 01:16:23,659 --> 01:16:28,122 Special beds, physical therapists, fucking health insurance! 960 01:16:29,790 --> 01:16:32,561 Last winter, when my pickup broke down and I had to walk through the snow 961 01:16:32,585 --> 01:16:35,385 - to get your groceries for you... - I offered to get your truck fixed. 962 01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:38,257 Yeah, and I refused because I thought you had $700 963 01:16:38,340 --> 01:16:40,509 - in your bank account. - The money is for Ellie. 964 01:16:41,635 --> 01:16:43,220 It's always been for Ellie. 965 01:16:43,304 --> 01:16:47,683 If there was ever any kind of emergency, I would have given you the money. 966 01:16:47,766 --> 01:16:48,809 Would you? 967 01:16:52,021 --> 01:16:53,063 Wait. 968 01:16:56,066 --> 01:16:57,693 Wait... wait. 969 01:17:01,530 --> 01:17:04,050 - Mom, you're not getting any of my money. - Oh, shut up, Ellie. 970 01:17:05,784 --> 01:17:07,786 Leave, right now. 971 01:17:10,789 --> 01:17:14,793 Wait. Ellie, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. 972 01:17:14,877 --> 01:17:16,354 - I know that you didn't... - Okay, you know what? Listen to me. 973 01:17:16,378 --> 01:17:18,339 Listen. I don't care about you! 974 01:17:18,422 --> 01:17:20,382 Get that through your fucking skull. 975 01:17:20,466 --> 01:17:23,219 - Ellie, please. - Just fucking die already! 976 01:17:23,302 --> 01:17:24,386 Enough! 977 01:17:28,224 --> 01:17:30,100 Ellie, your... your essay. 978 01:17:37,858 --> 01:17:40,402 It's... 979 01:17:43,405 --> 01:17:45,324 It's a really good essay! 980 01:18:12,351 --> 01:18:14,561 Jesus, Charlie. 981 01:18:22,486 --> 01:18:23,570 Do you have anything? 982 01:18:27,658 --> 01:18:31,578 It's above the sink, the kitchen counter on the left. 983 01:18:33,330 --> 01:18:35,416 The other one. Yup. 984 01:18:39,670 --> 01:18:43,465 Our deal was to wait until she's out of the house to give her the money. 985 01:18:44,258 --> 01:18:45,801 What's the difference? 986 01:18:45,884 --> 01:18:49,013 The difference is she's 17 and still in high school. 987 01:18:49,888 --> 01:18:52,808 She's gonna spend it on face tattoos or ponies, or something. 988 01:18:52,891 --> 01:18:55,185 I think that she's a lot smarter than that. 989 01:19:02,359 --> 01:19:03,402 How's it been? 990 01:19:04,820 --> 01:19:06,864 Getting to know her. 991 01:19:07,823 --> 01:19:09,950 She's amazing. 992 01:19:10,034 --> 01:19:12,661 You still do that. 993 01:19:14,163 --> 01:19:15,164 What? 994 01:19:15,998 --> 01:19:17,624 That positivity. 995 01:19:19,335 --> 01:19:20,461 It's so annoying. 996 01:19:21,295 --> 01:19:22,588 You're a complete cynic. 997 01:19:24,048 --> 01:19:25,758 Just trying to balance us out. 998 01:19:25,841 --> 01:19:28,177 Yeah. I guess I do miss that. 999 01:19:29,178 --> 01:19:30,262 That one thing. 1000 01:19:31,805 --> 01:19:32,931 Just that? 1001 01:19:34,808 --> 01:19:35,934 That, and the cooking. 1002 01:19:36,977 --> 01:19:38,062 Last month, 1003 01:19:38,145 --> 01:19:39,897 - tried to make a stir-fry thing. - Yeah? 1004 01:19:39,980 --> 01:19:41,900 Almost set the entire apartment building on fire. 1005 01:20:03,003 --> 01:20:04,880 I never knew you were doing this to yourself. 1006 01:20:06,256 --> 01:20:08,425 Well, you never asked how I was doing. 1007 01:20:09,802 --> 01:20:11,553 You never asked how I was doing either. 1008 01:20:12,805 --> 01:20:14,139 Every month, it's just, 1009 01:20:14,807 --> 01:20:17,559 "how much money do you need?" Or, "how's Ellie?" 1010 01:20:17,643 --> 01:20:20,729 You didn't tell me that she's flunking out of school. 1011 01:20:20,813 --> 01:20:23,941 I guess I just didn't need the lecture about my involvement in her education. 1012 01:20:24,024 --> 01:20:26,860 That is not what I... 1013 01:20:32,574 --> 01:20:34,201 How are you doing, Mary? 1014 01:20:39,706 --> 01:20:42,960 I know I'm not supposed to be around her. 1015 01:20:43,043 --> 01:20:45,212 You could probably call the police if you wanted to. 1016 01:20:45,295 --> 01:20:47,840 Oh, Christ. You really think I'd do that? 1017 01:20:47,923 --> 01:20:50,843 You fought me pretty hard for full custody. 1018 01:20:50,926 --> 01:20:53,220 And I don't blame you for keeping her from me. 1019 01:20:53,303 --> 01:20:58,142 Charlie, need I remind you that you left us. 1020 01:20:58,225 --> 01:21:01,228 - I know. - And I was left raising our kid 1021 01:21:01,311 --> 01:21:04,648 and explaining to people that my husband left me for a man. 1022 01:21:04,731 --> 01:21:07,151 But you didn't have to cut me out of her life like that. 1023 01:21:07,234 --> 01:21:08,235 Oh, please. 1024 01:21:08,318 --> 01:21:10,571 You were more than happy to forget about us for a while. 1025 01:21:10,654 --> 01:21:11,864 You know that. 1026 01:21:13,532 --> 01:21:16,034 I know I made a lot of mistakes. 1027 01:21:17,786 --> 01:21:20,664 But I just wanted to see her, Mary. 1028 01:21:20,747 --> 01:21:23,375 I've always just... Just wanted to see her. 1029 01:21:24,626 --> 01:21:25,711 It's all about you. 1030 01:21:27,463 --> 01:21:29,256 Even now, huh? 1031 01:21:31,633 --> 01:21:33,302 Now you know why I kept you from her. 1032 01:21:34,094 --> 01:21:35,095 What? 1033 01:21:36,972 --> 01:21:39,057 She's awful. Isn't she? 1034 01:21:39,933 --> 01:21:42,644 She's a terror. And you think it's my fault. 1035 01:21:43,395 --> 01:21:48,066 Wait, is that why you kept her from me all this time? 1036 01:21:48,150 --> 01:21:52,446 Because you thought that I would think that you're a bad mother? 1037 01:21:53,572 --> 01:21:54,573 At first. 1038 01:21:55,824 --> 01:21:59,119 But later, when she was 15, 16, 1039 01:22:01,038 --> 01:22:03,707 - I was worried she would hurt you. - Hurt me? 1040 01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:06,543 It's ridiculous. 1041 01:22:06,627 --> 01:22:09,963 I don't take any pleasure in admitting it. I'm her mother, for Christ's sake. 1042 01:22:10,881 --> 01:22:14,009 You know, I spent way too much time telling myself, you know, 1043 01:22:14,092 --> 01:22:17,221 "she's just rebellious, she's just difficult." 1044 01:22:19,598 --> 01:22:22,559 Charlie, she's evil. 1045 01:22:23,602 --> 01:22:25,437 She's not evil. 1046 01:22:31,443 --> 01:22:32,611 What are you doing? 1047 01:22:38,492 --> 01:22:40,202 You think it's just me? 1048 01:22:51,797 --> 01:22:55,092 "There'll be a grease fire in hell when he starts to burn." 1049 01:23:02,558 --> 01:23:03,809 Don't feel bad. 1050 01:23:05,227 --> 01:23:07,604 I've made quite a few appearances on that thing. 1051 01:23:10,941 --> 01:23:12,276 She's a strong writer. 1052 01:23:14,403 --> 01:23:17,322 - That's your response? - This isn't evil. 1053 01:23:17,948 --> 01:23:19,408 This is honesty. 1054 01:23:19,491 --> 01:23:21,952 Do you know how much bullshit I've read in my life? 1055 01:23:22,035 --> 01:23:24,830 My god, I don't understand you, Charlie! 1056 01:23:24,913 --> 01:23:28,792 Every time I call and ask you how she's doing, you say, "she's fine." 1057 01:23:28,875 --> 01:23:32,462 - If she's so evil, then... - What was I supposed to tell you? Huh? 1058 01:23:32,546 --> 01:23:36,216 That she was off making her classmates cry or slashing her teachers' tires? 1059 01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:38,778 - You didn't want to hear that stuff! - I could have helped her! 1060 01:23:38,802 --> 01:23:41,722 She doesn't want your help! She doesn't want anyone! 1061 01:23:41,805 --> 01:23:44,850 You think I didn't want her to have a dad? 1062 01:23:44,933 --> 01:23:46,435 She adored you! 1063 01:23:46,518 --> 01:23:48,438 The only reason you married me in the first place 1064 01:23:48,478 --> 01:23:50,188 was to have a kid, I know that! 1065 01:23:50,272 --> 01:23:52,024 Mary, please! 1066 01:23:57,195 --> 01:24:00,616 Well, this brings back memories, doesn't it? 1067 01:24:20,093 --> 01:24:21,386 Listen. 1068 01:24:23,513 --> 01:24:25,515 I never got to say that I was sorry. 1069 01:24:27,309 --> 01:24:29,269 What would you have to be sorry about? 1070 01:24:29,811 --> 01:24:30,979 That's not what I mean. 1071 01:24:32,481 --> 01:24:33,565 I mean... 1072 01:24:38,236 --> 01:24:41,031 About your friend. 1073 01:24:46,703 --> 01:24:49,498 - His name was Alan. - I know his fucking name, Charlie. 1074 01:24:54,127 --> 01:24:55,212 I saw him once, 1075 01:24:56,922 --> 01:24:58,340 in the Walmart parking lot. 1076 01:24:59,174 --> 01:25:02,135 He wasn't looking too good, and I don't think it was long before he... 1077 01:25:04,346 --> 01:25:07,933 Anyway, I had all these things that I... I wanted to say to him, 1078 01:25:08,016 --> 01:25:10,477 you know, hurl at him like bricks. 1079 01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:11,728 But I... 1080 01:25:12,562 --> 01:25:14,189 I asked if he wanted some help. 1081 01:25:16,525 --> 01:25:18,944 He let me carry a couple of bags to his car, 1082 01:25:20,028 --> 01:25:21,321 he said thank you, 1083 01:25:22,948 --> 01:25:23,990 andllefi. 1084 01:25:27,744 --> 01:25:29,705 I never even told him who I was. 1085 01:25:38,422 --> 01:25:39,506 You're wheezing. 1086 01:25:40,924 --> 01:25:44,344 Yeah, it's gotten worse. 1087 01:25:44,428 --> 01:25:45,637 Should I call someone? 1088 01:25:53,603 --> 01:25:54,813 You'll let me hear? 1089 01:26:19,629 --> 01:26:21,006 How do I sound? 1090 01:26:28,555 --> 01:26:31,099 That was the first time we've all been together 1091 01:26:31,183 --> 01:26:33,935 in almost nine years. Do you realize that? 1092 01:26:43,570 --> 01:26:45,447 When Ellie was little, 1093 01:26:45,530 --> 01:26:49,242 when we took that trip to the Oregon coast together, 1094 01:26:50,285 --> 01:26:52,788 Ellie played in the sand, and... 1095 01:26:54,039 --> 01:26:56,166 We laid out on the beach. 1096 01:26:56,917 --> 01:26:58,960 I went swimming in the ocean. 1097 01:27:01,338 --> 01:27:04,341 That was the last time I ever went swimming, actually. 1098 01:27:07,093 --> 01:27:10,013 I kept cutting my legs on the rocks. 1099 01:27:13,099 --> 01:27:15,352 The water was so cold. 1100 01:27:26,780 --> 01:27:30,450 And you were so mad that my legs bled 1101 01:27:30,534 --> 01:27:33,870 and stained the seats in the minivan. 1102 01:27:33,954 --> 01:27:38,792 And you said, for days after that, I smelled like seawater. 1103 01:27:40,836 --> 01:27:42,462 You remember that? 1104 01:27:50,095 --> 01:27:51,304 You sound awful. 1105 01:27:52,848 --> 01:27:55,183 I'm dying, Mary. 1106 01:27:59,229 --> 01:28:00,272 Fuck you. 1107 01:28:02,148 --> 01:28:03,358 I'm sorry. 1108 01:28:04,985 --> 01:28:06,069 Fuck you. 1109 01:28:08,780 --> 01:28:10,115 For sure? 1110 01:28:10,866 --> 01:28:13,451 Yeah. For sure. 1111 01:28:15,662 --> 01:28:17,080 Listen to me. 1112 01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:22,377 I need to make certain that she's going to be okay. 1113 01:28:23,211 --> 01:28:24,754 We can't give up on her. 1114 01:28:25,505 --> 01:28:27,215 You already gave up on her! 1115 01:28:27,299 --> 01:28:29,259 You gave up on her when she was eight years old! 1116 01:28:29,342 --> 01:28:32,345 I wish I could have been a part of her life, Mary, 1117 01:28:32,429 --> 01:28:34,014 a part of both of your lives. 1118 01:28:34,097 --> 01:28:35,265 Go to the hospital. 1119 01:28:36,433 --> 01:28:39,436 You have money, just go to the hospital! 1120 01:28:39,519 --> 01:28:44,399 We both know that that money is for Ellie. 1121 01:28:45,233 --> 01:28:48,653 But beyond that, 1122 01:28:49,529 --> 01:28:53,909 I need to know that she's gonna have a decent life. 1123 01:28:54,743 --> 01:28:59,205 Where she cares about people and other people care about her. 1124 01:29:00,540 --> 01:29:02,667 And she's gonna be okay. 1125 01:29:03,585 --> 01:29:04,753 - I need to go. - Mary. 1126 01:29:04,836 --> 01:29:08,173 - She doesn't have anyone else! - I have to go. 1127 01:29:08,256 --> 01:29:13,845 I need to know that I have done one thing right with my life! 1128 01:29:17,265 --> 01:29:18,850 We both played our parts. 1129 01:29:20,185 --> 01:29:23,355 I raised her, and you're giving her the money. 1130 01:29:23,438 --> 01:29:24,773 It's the best we could do. 1131 01:29:30,654 --> 01:29:31,863 Do you need anything 1132 01:29:33,198 --> 01:29:34,282 before I leave? 1133 01:29:35,241 --> 01:29:36,409 Water, or something. 1134 01:30:47,397 --> 01:30:48,898 Gambino's! 1135 01:30:48,982 --> 01:30:51,067 Yeah. 1136 01:30:51,151 --> 01:30:52,193 Charlie? 1137 01:30:53,361 --> 01:30:54,404 You okay? 1138 01:30:56,156 --> 01:30:58,199 Yeah. 1139 01:30:59,534 --> 01:31:01,411 The money is in the, urn... 1140 01:31:02,704 --> 01:31:03,705 Sure. 1141 01:31:07,792 --> 01:31:09,461 You sure you're doing okay? 1142 01:31:11,337 --> 01:31:13,339 Yeah. Thanks, Dan. 1143 01:31:13,423 --> 01:31:15,717 Have a good night, okay? 1144 01:31:41,451 --> 01:31:42,535 What... 1145 01:32:34,754 --> 01:32:37,090 Fuck these essays. 1146 01:32:38,299 --> 01:32:39,926 Fuck these readings. 1147 01:32:41,678 --> 01:32:46,599 Just write something fucking honest. 1148 01:34:17,023 --> 01:34:18,650 Liz? 1149 01:34:22,153 --> 01:34:23,529 Can I come inside? 1150 01:34:25,198 --> 01:34:26,366 It's not locked. 1151 01:34:28,534 --> 01:34:30,036 - Hi. - What's wrong? 1152 01:34:30,119 --> 01:34:31,871 - Thank you. - For what? 1153 01:34:31,955 --> 01:34:36,042 Look, I'm not exactly who I said I was. I'm not from new life. 1154 01:34:36,668 --> 01:34:38,127 What? I... I don't... 1155 01:34:38,211 --> 01:34:40,046 I've been in a pretty bad place recently. 1156 01:34:40,129 --> 01:34:43,591 I... I stole some money, and I ran away from home a few months ago. 1157 01:34:43,675 --> 01:34:46,427 And your daughter, she took these pictures of me smoking pot, 1158 01:34:46,511 --> 01:34:48,346 and a recording or something like that, 1159 01:34:48,429 --> 01:34:50,932 and she found my church in Waterloo somehow, 1160 01:34:51,015 --> 01:34:53,410 and then she sent it to them, and they sent it to my parents... 1161 01:34:53,434 --> 01:34:55,520 - Wait. - And you know what they said? 1162 01:34:55,603 --> 01:34:57,188 "It's just money." 1163 01:34:58,231 --> 01:35:00,149 And they forgive me. 1164 01:35:00,233 --> 01:35:03,152 And they love me, and they want me to come home. 1165 01:35:04,696 --> 01:35:06,155 How awful is that? 1166 01:35:07,240 --> 01:35:09,367 Ellie, she... she did all that? 1167 01:35:09,450 --> 01:35:13,705 I can't tell if she was trying to help me or hurt me, or... 1168 01:35:13,788 --> 01:35:15,557 Do you ever get that feeling from her? 1169 01:35:15,581 --> 01:35:17,375 How did she even... she... 1170 01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:22,422 She found your church, she tracked down your parents. 1171 01:35:23,214 --> 01:35:24,507 She really did all that? 1172 01:35:24,590 --> 01:35:26,968 Yeah. I mean, I'm going home tomorrow. 1173 01:35:27,051 --> 01:35:30,513 But, Charlie, before I go, I have to show you this. 1174 01:35:32,432 --> 01:35:33,993 What... what's wrong? 1175 01:35:34,017 --> 01:35:35,268 Wait, are you okay? 1176 01:35:35,351 --> 01:35:36,602 It just hurts. 1177 01:35:36,686 --> 01:35:39,647 Charlie, I want to help you. I know I can help you. 1178 01:35:39,731 --> 01:35:41,357 I'm not going to the hospital. 1179 01:35:41,441 --> 01:35:44,527 No, I know. I'm not gonna make you go. But I can help you. 1180 01:35:46,321 --> 01:35:47,798 - "Therefore, brothers and sisters... - What are you doing? 1181 01:35:47,822 --> 01:35:49,032 We have an obligation, 1182 01:35:49,115 --> 01:35:51,534 but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 1183 01:35:51,617 --> 01:35:54,203 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die. 1184 01:35:54,287 --> 01:35:58,082 But if by the spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, 1185 01:35:58,166 --> 01:36:00,877 - then you will live." - I... I don't understand. 1186 01:36:00,960 --> 01:36:03,921 Charlie, when I read this, I finally got it. 1187 01:36:04,005 --> 01:36:07,258 I finally understood why god brought me here to you. 1188 01:36:07,342 --> 01:36:09,677 So I could help you understand what happened to Alan, 1189 01:36:09,761 --> 01:36:11,137 so it doesn't happen to you, too. 1190 01:36:14,223 --> 01:36:15,224 How did you get this? 1191 01:36:15,308 --> 01:36:18,227 Charlie, Alan tried to escape god's will. 1192 01:36:18,311 --> 01:36:20,813 He chose his life with you over god. 1193 01:36:20,897 --> 01:36:23,775 But this is why he was so obsessed with this verse. 1194 01:36:24,650 --> 01:36:27,737 He knew that he was living in the flesh, and not in the spirit. 1195 01:36:27,820 --> 01:36:30,907 He never prayed for salvation, but it's not too late for you. 1196 01:36:30,990 --> 01:36:33,910 Through the spirit, you can put to death the misdeeds of the body, 1197 01:36:33,993 --> 01:36:35,161 and you will live. 1198 01:36:36,579 --> 01:36:39,457 You think Alan died because he chose to be with me? 1199 01:36:41,417 --> 01:36:44,337 You think god turned his back on him because he and I were in love? 1200 01:36:58,017 --> 01:37:00,770 You know something? I wasn't always this big. 1201 01:37:01,854 --> 01:37:03,773 Yeah, I know. 1202 01:37:03,856 --> 01:37:06,401 I mean, I wasn't the best-looking guy in the room, but... 1203 01:37:07,985 --> 01:37:09,028 Alan loved me. 1204 01:37:12,115 --> 01:37:13,533 He thought I was beautiful. 1205 01:37:17,537 --> 01:37:18,579 Okay. 1206 01:37:21,082 --> 01:37:23,042 Halfway through the semester, 1207 01:37:24,293 --> 01:37:27,839 he started meeting me during my office hours. 1208 01:37:27,922 --> 01:37:31,884 And we were... We were crazy about one another. 1209 01:37:31,968 --> 01:37:33,678 But we waited 1210 01:37:33,761 --> 01:37:36,556 until the class was over before... 1211 01:37:36,639 --> 01:37:38,057 This isn't, uh... 1212 01:37:38,141 --> 01:37:41,144 It was just after classes had ended for the year. 1213 01:37:41,227 --> 01:37:43,688 It was perfect temperature outside. 1214 01:37:44,480 --> 01:37:46,524 We took a walk in the arboretum, 1215 01:37:48,943 --> 01:37:52,155 - and we kissed. - Charlie, stop. 1216 01:37:52,238 --> 01:37:56,075 We would spend entire nights lying together, naked. 1217 01:37:58,077 --> 01:37:59,454 We would make love. 1218 01:38:05,001 --> 01:38:06,294 We would make love. 1219 01:38:09,547 --> 01:38:11,048 Do you find that disgusting? 1220 01:38:11,132 --> 01:38:12,842 Charlie, god is ready to help you. 1221 01:38:12,925 --> 01:38:15,845 Oh, I hope that there isn't a god, 1222 01:38:15,928 --> 01:38:19,015 because I hate to think that there's an afterlife, 1223 01:38:19,098 --> 01:38:22,643 and that Alan can see what I have done to myself. 1224 01:38:22,727 --> 01:38:25,730 - Charlie... - That he can see my swollen feet 1225 01:38:25,813 --> 01:38:27,607 and the sores on my skin, 1226 01:38:27,690 --> 01:38:29,942 and the patches of mold in between the flaps. 1227 01:38:30,026 --> 01:38:32,403 - Stop. - The infected ulcers on my ass, 1228 01:38:32,487 --> 01:38:36,073 and the sack of fat on my back that turned brown last year. 1229 01:38:36,157 --> 01:38:38,075 - Okay, stop! - This is disgusting? 1230 01:38:38,159 --> 01:38:40,244 - Yes! - I'm disgusting? 1231 01:38:40,328 --> 01:38:42,163 Yes, you're disgusting! You're... 1232 01:38:53,591 --> 01:38:55,760 I'm sorry. 1233 01:38:59,055 --> 01:39:00,097 What? 1234 01:39:03,476 --> 01:39:05,728 Go home to your family. 1235 01:39:54,694 --> 01:39:58,322 Well, your complaints have been heard. 1236 01:39:58,406 --> 01:40:01,826 I've been replaced by someone who will, no doubt, 1237 01:40:01,909 --> 01:40:05,663 have you rewrite, and rewrite, and rewrite, 1238 01:40:05,746 --> 01:40:08,874 be more objective, 1239 01:40:08,958 --> 01:40:13,337 less authentic, less you, with every draft. 1240 01:40:15,840 --> 01:40:19,468 But some of you saw my post 1241 01:40:19,552 --> 01:40:22,888 about writing something honest. 1242 01:40:25,891 --> 01:40:26,892 And... 1243 01:40:30,271 --> 01:40:32,189 The things that some of you wrote... 1244 01:40:34,025 --> 01:40:35,484 Kristy, you wrote, 1245 01:40:36,444 --> 01:40:39,530 "my parents want me to be a radiologist, 1246 01:40:39,614 --> 01:40:42,617 but I don't even know what that is." 1247 01:40:48,748 --> 01:40:49,874 Julian, you wrote, 1248 01:40:49,957 --> 01:40:53,961 "I'm sick of people telling me that I have promise." 1249 01:41:01,344 --> 01:41:02,511 Adam, you wrote, 1250 01:41:03,721 --> 01:41:08,267 "I think I need to accept that my life isn't going to be very exciting." 1251 01:41:11,187 --> 01:41:15,858 You all wrote these amazing, honest things, and... 1252 01:41:17,818 --> 01:41:20,154 You've been so honest with me that I... I... 1253 01:41:25,534 --> 01:41:27,078 I just want to be 1254 01:41:28,412 --> 01:41:30,164 honest with you, too. 1255 01:42:12,164 --> 01:42:13,916 These assignments don't matter. 1256 01:42:15,543 --> 01:42:17,086 This course doesn't matter. 1257 01:42:19,046 --> 01:42:20,256 College doesn't matter. 1258 01:42:22,633 --> 01:42:25,594 These amazing, honest things that you wrote... 1259 01:42:29,598 --> 01:42:30,683 They matter. 1260 01:43:11,891 --> 01:43:13,934 - I'm sorry. - Don't. 1261 01:43:30,326 --> 01:43:32,966 I really hate you for putting me through this again, you know that? 1262 01:43:35,998 --> 01:43:37,458 Those last few months before Alan... 1263 01:43:39,043 --> 01:43:41,420 I'd come over here, shake him, scream at him, 1264 01:43:41,504 --> 01:43:43,464 just trying to get him to fucking eat something. 1265 01:43:43,547 --> 01:43:46,175 - God, that was awful! - It was awful for me, too. 1266 01:43:46,258 --> 01:43:48,969 Yeah? Well, you weren't the one who had to identify his body, 1267 01:43:49,053 --> 01:43:50,971 - all bloated... - They wouldn't let me. 1268 01:43:52,223 --> 01:43:53,724 I wasn't family. 1269 01:44:07,655 --> 01:44:10,074 I got you two meatball subs. Extra cheese. 1270 01:44:16,956 --> 01:44:18,290 I don't know what I'm doing. 1271 01:44:26,799 --> 01:44:28,926 I'm not going to the hospital. 1272 01:44:29,009 --> 01:44:30,469 I'm not asking you to. 1273 01:44:35,933 --> 01:44:38,018 I can't do this anymore. 1274 01:44:40,855 --> 01:44:42,606 I tried to save him, Liz. 1275 01:44:45,860 --> 01:44:47,903 I thought that if I just loved him, 1276 01:44:50,739 --> 01:44:52,616 that he wouldn't need anyone else. 1277 01:44:55,369 --> 01:44:57,204 I told him he didn't need god, 1278 01:44:58,205 --> 01:45:01,709 he didn't need anyone but me. 1279 01:45:03,419 --> 01:45:04,420 Charlie, 1280 01:45:06,005 --> 01:45:09,008 all I know is that you gave Alan the best years of his life. 1281 01:45:09,091 --> 01:45:12,303 If it weren't for you, he would have jumped off that bridge years earlier. 1282 01:45:13,345 --> 01:45:17,141 Nobody could've saved him. Believe me, I spent years trying. 1283 01:45:20,477 --> 01:45:23,564 I don't think I believe anyone can save anyone. 1284 01:45:29,570 --> 01:45:30,654 She saved him. 1285 01:45:33,198 --> 01:45:36,952 She wasn't trying to hurt him. She was trying to help him. 1286 01:45:37,036 --> 01:45:38,662 Who are you talking about? 1287 01:45:39,330 --> 01:45:41,665 He's going home. She did that. 1288 01:45:42,958 --> 01:45:45,169 - Charlie... - She didn't do it to hurt him, 1289 01:45:45,836 --> 01:45:48,297 she did it to send him home. 1290 01:45:49,673 --> 01:45:52,009 Do you feel light-headed? Charlie, look at me. 1291 01:45:52,092 --> 01:45:54,595 - She was trying to help him. - Who? 1292 01:45:55,679 --> 01:45:58,766 Ellie. She was trying to help him. 1293 01:45:59,350 --> 01:46:01,268 She just wanted to send him home. 1294 01:46:03,854 --> 01:46:07,775 Do you ever get the feeling that... 1295 01:46:09,526 --> 01:46:13,155 People are incapable of not caring? 1296 01:46:18,494 --> 01:46:20,287 People are amazing. 1297 01:46:23,582 --> 01:46:24,750 What the fuck did you do? 1298 01:46:27,920 --> 01:46:28,963 What's wrong with him? 1299 01:46:31,173 --> 01:46:32,174 He's dying. 1300 01:46:34,051 --> 01:46:35,302 So, call someone. 1301 01:46:35,386 --> 01:46:38,180 - No. - Call a fucking ambulance! 1302 01:46:38,263 --> 01:46:39,264 Liz. 1303 01:46:40,224 --> 01:46:42,810 - I need to talk to him. - I'm not leaving you alone with him. 1304 01:46:42,893 --> 01:46:44,144 I need to talk to him alone. 1305 01:46:44,228 --> 01:46:45,479 Liz. 1306 01:46:48,440 --> 01:46:49,525 Please. 1307 01:46:54,196 --> 01:46:55,239 Okay. 1308 01:47:12,923 --> 01:47:14,216 I'll call someone. 1309 01:47:17,011 --> 01:47:18,012 Charlie. 1310 01:47:21,181 --> 01:47:22,683 I'll wait downstairs. 1311 01:47:30,274 --> 01:47:32,484 - Why'd you do that? - What? 1312 01:47:34,570 --> 01:47:35,571 I failed. 1313 01:47:36,321 --> 01:47:37,531 It's a really good essay. 1314 01:47:37,614 --> 01:47:40,784 Are you just trying to screw me over one last time? 1315 01:47:40,868 --> 01:47:42,887 I don't care about you! I don't care that you're dying. 1316 01:47:42,911 --> 01:47:44,347 Do you want me to fail out of high school? 1317 01:47:44,371 --> 01:47:46,331 - Is that why you did this? - I didn't write it. 1318 01:47:46,415 --> 01:47:48,667 This is the essay that you gave me yesterday. 1319 01:47:48,751 --> 01:47:50,631 - You didn't read it. - I don't need to read it. 1320 01:47:51,170 --> 01:47:52,171 Read it. 1321 01:48:03,682 --> 01:48:04,683 This is... 1322 01:48:06,185 --> 01:48:07,603 I know what this is. 1323 01:48:07,686 --> 01:48:09,730 I knew you would. 1324 01:48:10,731 --> 01:48:11,815 I wrote this. 1325 01:48:14,151 --> 01:48:15,778 You never forget anything. 1326 01:48:15,861 --> 01:48:18,655 I wrote this in eighth grade for English. Why do you... 1327 01:48:18,739 --> 01:48:20,824 "And I felt saddest of all 1328 01:48:20,908 --> 01:48:23,077 when I read the boring chapters 1329 01:48:23,160 --> 01:48:25,454 that were only descriptions of whales, 1330 01:48:25,537 --> 01:48:28,832 because I knew that 1331 01:48:28,916 --> 01:48:32,544 the author was just trying to save us 1332 01:48:32,628 --> 01:48:35,631 from his own sad story, 1333 01:48:36,715 --> 01:48:38,842 just for a little while." 1334 01:48:40,636 --> 01:48:43,097 - How do you have this? - Your mother, 1335 01:48:43,180 --> 01:48:45,516 she sent it to me four years ago. 1336 01:48:45,599 --> 01:48:47,893 I wanted to know how you were doing in school, 1337 01:48:47,976 --> 01:48:49,978 and she sent it. 1338 01:48:50,062 --> 01:48:53,315 And it's the best essay I've ever read. 1339 01:48:53,398 --> 01:48:55,651 Why are you fucking with me like this? 1340 01:48:55,734 --> 01:48:57,027 I'm not. 1341 01:48:59,363 --> 01:49:01,532 I'm sorry for leaving you. 1342 01:49:03,742 --> 01:49:06,370 I was in love, and... 1343 01:49:07,162 --> 01:49:09,414 I left you behind. 1344 01:49:10,958 --> 01:49:14,419 - You did not deserve that. - I don't... 1345 01:49:14,503 --> 01:49:16,755 I don't know how 1346 01:49:16,839 --> 01:49:18,674 I could have done such a thing. 1347 01:49:18,757 --> 01:49:21,051 You're so beautiful. 1348 01:49:21,135 --> 01:49:23,470 - You're amazing. - Stop. 1349 01:49:25,347 --> 01:49:28,058 You're amazing. 1350 01:49:28,851 --> 01:49:31,019 This essay is amazing. 1351 01:49:32,729 --> 01:49:35,274 This essay is you. 1352 01:49:35,357 --> 01:49:36,525 Stop saying that. 1353 01:49:36,608 --> 01:49:40,028 - This essay is you. - Stop saying that! 1354 01:49:40,112 --> 01:49:43,198 You're the best thing I have ever done. 1355 01:49:44,741 --> 01:49:46,827 What's the matter? 1356 01:49:46,910 --> 01:49:47,911 Ellie! 1357 01:49:47,995 --> 01:49:49,913 No. Okay, I can't be here right now. 1358 01:49:49,997 --> 01:49:51,832 - I have to go. - You're perfect. 1359 01:49:51,915 --> 01:49:53,458 You'll be happy. 1360 01:49:54,418 --> 01:49:57,296 You care about people. 1361 01:49:57,379 --> 01:49:58,940 The ambulance is coming, they'll help you. 1362 01:49:58,964 --> 01:50:00,591 No. They won't. 1363 01:50:00,674 --> 01:50:02,801 - You're going to the hospital. - No. 1364 01:50:03,427 --> 01:50:05,429 You just need surgery, or something! 1365 01:50:05,512 --> 01:50:08,974 - Read it to me. - What? 1366 01:50:09,057 --> 01:50:12,853 If you want to help, read it to me. 1367 01:50:13,770 --> 01:50:16,440 You'll help if you read it. 1368 01:50:16,523 --> 01:50:19,026 You asshole. You fat fucking asshole! 1369 01:50:19,109 --> 01:50:20,235 - You'll help... - Fuck you. 1370 01:50:20,319 --> 01:50:21,612 - Please. - Fuck you! 1371 01:50:21,695 --> 01:50:22,779 Ellie! 1372 01:50:26,074 --> 01:50:27,618 Daddy, please. 1373 01:50:46,511 --> 01:50:50,015 "In the amazing book, Moby dick, by the author Herman melville, 1374 01:50:50,098 --> 01:50:52,392 the author recounts his story of being at sea. 1375 01:50:53,018 --> 01:50:56,438 In the first part of his book, the author, calling himself ishmael, 1376 01:50:56,521 --> 01:50:58,148 is in a small seaside town 1377 01:50:58,232 --> 01:51:00,943 and he is sharing a bed with a man named queequeg. 1378 01:51:01,026 --> 01:51:03,654 The author and queequeg go to church 1379 01:51:03,737 --> 01:51:06,615 and later set out on a ship captained by a pirate named ahab, 1380 01:51:06,698 --> 01:51:07,908 who is missing a leg, 1381 01:51:08,951 --> 01:51:10,428 and very much wants to kill the whale 1382 01:51:10,452 --> 01:51:13,121 which is named Moby dick, and which is white. 1383 01:51:13,789 --> 01:51:18,460 In the course of the book, the pirate ahab encounters many hardships. 1384 01:51:18,543 --> 01:51:21,713 His entire life is set around trying to kill a certain whale. 1385 01:51:22,464 --> 01:51:25,092 I think this is sad because this whale doesn't have any emotions, 1386 01:51:25,175 --> 01:51:27,302 and doesn't know how bad ahab wants to kill him. 1387 01:51:27,386 --> 01:51:29,179 He's just a poor 1388 01:51:29,263 --> 01:51:32,015 big animal." 1389 01:51:35,227 --> 01:51:37,145 "And I feel bad for ahab as well, 1390 01:51:37,229 --> 01:51:38,790 because he thinks that his life will be better 1391 01:51:38,814 --> 01:51:40,440 if he can just kill this whale, 1392 01:51:40,524 --> 01:51:42,317 but in reality, it won't help him at all." 1393 01:51:45,737 --> 01:51:47,656 "I was very saddened by this book, 1394 01:51:48,615 --> 01:51:50,617 and I felt many emotions for the characters. 1395 01:51:53,370 --> 01:51:56,039 And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters 1396 01:51:56,123 --> 01:51:58,166 that were only descriptions of whales, 1397 01:51:58,250 --> 01:52:00,794 because I knew that the author was just trying to save us 1398 01:52:00,877 --> 01:52:02,254 from his own sad story, 1399 01:52:03,046 --> 01:52:04,172 just for a little while." 1400 01:52:12,222 --> 01:52:14,224 "This book made me think about my own life, 1401 01:52:15,559 --> 01:52:17,394 and then it made me feel glad for my..."