1 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,560 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:16,689 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,901 And they tell my boss Bertold: 4 00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:25,323 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute!" 5 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,700 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:28,117 --> 00:03:32,580 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:32,747 --> 00:03:34,332 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:41,297 Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:41,714 --> 00:03:46,219 Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:47,678 --> 00:03:50,973 I wake up! - At that point every time? 11 00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:53,476 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:53,851 --> 00:03:56,395 Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:56,813 --> 00:03:59,440 And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 14 00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:02,443 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:06,781 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:04:07,198 --> 00:04:11,869 I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,663 You know, in Lebanon... 18 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,498 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:15,915 --> 00:04:19,168 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:19,585 --> 00:04:23,047 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:24,173 --> 00:04:25,341 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:46,863 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:47,572 --> 00:04:52,994 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:58,499 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:00,793 But why you? 26 00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:04,964 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:05:05,381 --> 00:05:08,801 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:29,322 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:29,739 --> 00:05:35,495 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 30 00:05:35,912 --> 00:05:38,873 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,416 20 years. 32 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,045 Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:48,257 Therapy, a psychiatrist, Shiatsu, anything... 34 00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:51,135 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,096 I'm just a filmmaker! 36 00:05:53,513 --> 00:05:55,515 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:59,268 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:59,811 --> 00:06:02,146 But nothing like this. 39 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,357 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:06:05,775 --> 00:06:08,945 No. Not really. 41 00:06:09,362 --> 00:06:10,404 Are you sure? 42 00:06:12,782 --> 00:06:13,991 No. 43 00:06:14,409 --> 00:06:16,035 Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:16,452 --> 00:06:19,372 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:19,789 --> 00:06:23,376 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:27,296 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:27,713 --> 00:06:31,050 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:33,219 No, no. 49 00:06:34,262 --> 00:06:35,346 No. 50 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,854 You'll be okay, huh? 51 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,648 You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:46,065 --> 00:06:49,318 You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:52,238 Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:30,234 --> 00:07:33,529 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 55 00:07:33,946 --> 00:07:38,367 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 56 00:07:38,785 --> 00:07:41,162 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:41,579 --> 00:07:46,167 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 58 00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:51,047 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 59 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,720 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 60 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:27,018 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 61 00:09:27,435 --> 00:09:30,855 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:35,109 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 63 00:09:35,526 --> 00:09:38,362 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 64 00:09:39,071 --> 00:09:40,907 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:41,324 --> 00:09:47,580 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:53,795 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:54,212 --> 00:09:59,133 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 68 00:10:02,929 --> 00:10:08,684 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 69 00:10:09,602 --> 00:10:12,980 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 70 00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:20,279 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 71 00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:27,703 Eighty percent recognized themselves... 72 00:10:28,121 --> 00:10:31,290 They recognized the fake photo as real! 73 00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:34,544 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 74 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:37,296 The researchers asked them again. 75 00:10:37,713 --> 00:10:40,216 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 76 00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:46,389 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents. " 77 00:10:46,806 --> 00:10:50,143 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 78 00:10:51,477 --> 00:10:54,230 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 79 00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:57,692 If some details are missing, 80 00:10:58,109 --> 00:11:03,030 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 81 00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:11,789 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 82 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:16,878 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 83 00:11:17,295 --> 00:11:20,006 I don't know. Who was there with you? 84 00:11:20,423 --> 00:11:24,177 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 85 00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:28,264 And someone else I don't recognize. 86 00:11:29,891 --> 00:11:33,895 So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 87 00:11:34,312 --> 00:11:36,606 He's lived there for 20 years. 88 00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:40,610 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 89 00:11:41,027 --> 00:11:42,069 Isn't that dangerous? 90 00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:46,449 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 91 00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:48,201 Not at all. 92 00:11:48,618 --> 00:11:52,830 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 93 00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:57,043 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 94 00:11:57,460 --> 00:12:01,839 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 95 00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:06,219 Memory takes us where we need to go. 96 00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:43,631 See all that? 97 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,802 Yes. 98 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:49,804 It's all mine. 99 00:12:53,015 --> 00:12:54,225 All of it? 100 00:12:55,017 --> 00:12:57,728 From those trees to the river. 101 00:12:58,146 --> 00:13:00,481 It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 102 00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:03,568 It's about 10 acres. 103 00:13:05,778 --> 00:13:09,449 All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel! 104 00:13:09,866 --> 00:13:12,577 Wow! - Come and see. 105 00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:20,084 How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 106 00:13:21,627 --> 00:13:25,256 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 107 00:13:25,715 --> 00:13:29,719 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 108 00:13:29,927 --> 00:13:32,805 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 109 00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:38,102 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 110 00:13:39,061 --> 00:13:40,146 Who did? 111 00:13:40,563 --> 00:13:44,358 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 112 00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:49,489 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 113 00:13:50,531 --> 00:13:52,075 By 20, that future was over. 114 00:13:54,035 --> 00:13:55,286 Cold? 115 00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:59,373 Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 116 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,419 We have to walk all that way? 117 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:07,173 It's funny you've showed up now. 118 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:09,300 Why? - When you called... 119 00:14:10,426 --> 00:14:14,889 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 120 00:14:15,306 --> 00:14:19,018 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 121 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:22,438 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 122 00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:24,941 Did you? - I don't know. 123 00:14:25,858 --> 00:14:28,945 Let's go inside and warm up. 124 00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:33,282 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 125 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:35,701 No. 126 00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:39,539 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 127 00:14:40,164 --> 00:14:41,833 I'll fetch him. 128 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,044 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 129 00:15:55,198 --> 00:16:00,161 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 130 00:16:00,578 --> 00:16:06,042 on a little "Love Boat" leased by the army or God knows what. 131 00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:11,047 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 132 00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:17,178 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 133 00:16:17,595 --> 00:16:23,267 All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 134 00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:30,108 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 135 00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:35,071 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 136 00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:39,158 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 137 00:16:39,617 --> 00:16:43,538 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits. 138 00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:46,624 and that I was the only... How can I put it? 139 00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:50,711 The only nerd good at chess and Math 140 00:16:51,462 --> 00:16:56,217 but with masculinity problems. So, I had to prove to everyone 141 00:16:56,634 --> 00:16:59,178 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 142 00:16:59,595 --> 00:17:01,639 Did you succeed? 143 00:17:02,723 --> 00:17:04,684 Yes, surprisingly enough. 144 00:17:05,476 --> 00:17:08,020 I felt that I was strong and capable. 145 00:17:09,397 --> 00:17:15,069 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat" 146 00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:19,449 Then I... - You what? 147 00:17:19,866 --> 00:17:24,787 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 148 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:29,208 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 149 00:17:30,251 --> 00:17:32,712 I sleep when I'm scared. 150 00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:37,175 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 151 00:18:19,175 --> 00:18:20,968 Unconscious on the deck, 152 00:18:24,222 --> 00:18:29,769 dreaming a woman would come 153 00:18:34,482 --> 00:18:37,527 and take me for the first time, 154 00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:45,243 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 155 00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:48,538 Where? - On the boat. 156 00:19:21,654 --> 00:19:25,825 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 157 00:19:26,284 --> 00:19:28,828 Which city? - How should I know? 158 00:19:29,412 --> 00:19:31,414 Sidon, I think. 159 00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:36,669 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 160 00:19:39,714 --> 00:19:41,799 At whom? - How do I know? 161 00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:46,763 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 162 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,724 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 163 00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:56,397 Two years of training, and the fear, 164 00:19:56,814 --> 00:19:59,150 the uncontrollable fear... 165 00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:06,949 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 166 00:20:09,243 --> 00:20:10,411 At daybreak 167 00:20:11,954 --> 00:20:16,751 we could see our destruction, 168 00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:22,048 without knowing where we were. 169 00:20:22,465 --> 00:20:24,717 Lying in the car... 170 00:20:26,427 --> 00:20:28,262 What was in the car? 171 00:20:28,638 --> 00:20:30,098 The bodies of a whole family. 172 00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:33,434 Why did you come here? 173 00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:35,770 Me? I... 174 00:20:37,188 --> 00:20:38,606 I lost my memory. 175 00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:41,484 In an accident? - What? 176 00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:44,570 Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 177 00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:48,157 In a car or at work? 178 00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:51,160 No, I didn't have an accident. 179 00:20:51,577 --> 00:20:55,665 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 180 00:20:56,082 --> 00:21:00,086 Just one image in my mind. 181 00:21:01,838 --> 00:21:04,882 Somehow you're in it. 182 00:21:05,299 --> 00:21:06,717 What image? 183 00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:46,299 Were you there too? 184 00:21:49,427 --> 00:21:49,969 It's hard to say. 185 00:21:50,386 --> 00:21:52,138 What do you mean? Were you there? 186 00:21:52,555 --> 00:21:53,931 It's hard to say. 187 00:21:55,349 --> 00:21:57,852 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 188 00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:02,356 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 189 00:22:02,774 --> 00:22:04,275 Yes, I remember being there. 190 00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:07,570 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 191 00:22:07,987 --> 00:22:10,740 But the massacre... How did you say it? 192 00:22:11,157 --> 00:22:13,951 That's not stored in my system. 193 00:22:13,993 --> 00:22:16,204 Right. Massacre... 194 00:22:53,658 --> 00:22:58,121 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam airport... 195 00:22:58,538 --> 00:23:01,249 Suddenly all the memories came back. 196 00:23:01,666 --> 00:23:03,709 Not a hallucination nor my subconscious. 197 00:23:04,377 --> 00:23:09,132 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 198 00:23:09,549 --> 00:23:12,718 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side, 199 00:23:13,136 --> 00:23:18,099 the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere 200 00:23:18,516 --> 00:23:20,726 at everything, until nightfall. 201 00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:28,651 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 202 00:23:29,068 --> 00:23:32,155 "Load up the dead and wounded. 203 00:23:32,572 --> 00:23:35,032 Go and dump them. " 204 00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:38,703 "Dump?" - "Yes, dump. " 205 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,413 "Where?" 206 00:23:40,830 --> 00:23:46,753 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 207 00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:49,547 That's where they're dumped. " 208 00:23:56,220 --> 00:24:00,266 So I drive all the way back. 209 00:24:00,683 --> 00:24:05,229 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 210 00:24:05,646 --> 00:24:07,440 Now I was in command of a tank 211 00:24:07,857 --> 00:24:13,029 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 212 00:24:20,536 --> 00:24:23,748 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 213 00:24:24,165 --> 00:24:26,084 Shoot. - At who? 214 00:24:26,501 --> 00:24:28,169 How do I know? Just shoot. 215 00:24:28,586 --> 00:24:32,256 Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 216 00:24:44,018 --> 00:24:47,897 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 217 00:24:48,314 --> 00:24:53,403 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 218 00:25:28,438 --> 00:25:33,443 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 219 00:25:33,860 --> 00:25:36,654 Then we turn around and drive off. 220 00:26:03,139 --> 00:26:05,725 On the first day of the war, 221 00:26:06,225 --> 00:26:09,228 I transported the dead and wounded 222 00:26:09,645 --> 00:26:12,690 from tanks on the coast road. 223 00:26:13,566 --> 00:26:15,610 I'm looking for people who were with me. 224 00:26:15,693 --> 00:26:19,280 Could your men have been among them? 225 00:26:19,322 --> 00:26:24,494 It sounds logical... We were in the coastal area. 226 00:26:25,536 --> 00:26:27,622 In the western sector... It's possible. 227 00:26:28,122 --> 00:26:31,793 Do you recognize me here? 228 00:26:35,421 --> 00:26:36,589 No. 229 00:26:38,591 --> 00:26:40,635 I don't recognize myself either. 230 00:26:55,733 --> 00:26:59,904 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, felt like an excursion. 231 00:27:00,321 --> 00:27:01,656 We took photos, 232 00:27:02,073 --> 00:27:04,117 we told jokes... 233 00:27:04,534 --> 00:27:08,788 We had time to fool around before going into action. 234 00:27:10,164 --> 00:27:16,671 Good morning, Lebanon 235 00:27:24,429 --> 00:27:30,685 Too much pain to carry on 236 00:27:31,727 --> 00:27:37,150 Good morning, Lebanon 237 00:27:38,151 --> 00:27:43,364 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 238 00:27:43,781 --> 00:27:49,203 a few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 239 00:27:49,620 --> 00:27:52,915 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 240 00:27:53,332 --> 00:28:00,089 May your dreams come true 241 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:07,054 May your nightmares pass 242 00:28:08,097 --> 00:28:13,311 Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 243 00:28:13,686 --> 00:28:17,231 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 244 00:28:17,648 --> 00:28:22,195 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 245 00:28:22,612 --> 00:28:24,614 Inside the tank, 246 00:28:25,031 --> 00:28:26,407 we were protected. 247 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:36,542 You are torn to pieces 248 00:28:36,959 --> 00:28:43,841 You bleed to death in my arms 249 00:28:44,342 --> 00:28:46,844 You bleed to death in my arms 250 00:28:47,804 --> 00:28:51,349 You are the love of my life 251 00:28:52,475 --> 00:28:58,356 Oh, my short, short life 252 00:28:58,773 --> 00:29:04,028 Tear me to pieces 253 00:29:06,114 --> 00:29:08,616 I'm bleeding... 254 00:29:13,287 --> 00:29:17,750 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 255 00:29:18,084 --> 00:29:19,836 Was he beside you? - Yes. 256 00:29:20,253 --> 00:29:24,841 I saw his head slumped forward. 257 00:29:25,925 --> 00:29:29,804 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 258 00:29:30,888 --> 00:29:36,561 The blood was coming from his neck. 259 00:29:39,230 --> 00:29:43,317 You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 260 00:29:43,735 --> 00:29:46,529 But I didn't react immediately. 261 00:29:47,155 --> 00:29:51,534 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 262 00:29:55,496 --> 00:29:56,539 Two minutes later, 263 00:29:56,956 --> 00:30:01,085 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 264 00:30:05,423 --> 00:30:08,801 without weapons or anything... 265 00:30:09,218 --> 00:30:12,138 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 266 00:30:18,269 --> 00:30:20,938 I ran as fast as I could 267 00:30:21,355 --> 00:30:24,025 in zigzags towards the sea. 268 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,463 My only thought: 269 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,258 It's over. I'm done for. 270 00:30:50,301 --> 00:30:54,847 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 271 00:31:01,479 --> 00:31:05,400 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 272 00:31:05,817 --> 00:31:10,988 I hoped he'd get closer. 273 00:31:38,307 --> 00:31:42,353 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 274 00:31:53,865 --> 00:31:58,661 I felt abandoned by our forces. 275 00:32:03,458 --> 00:32:07,712 I imagined how my mother would react. 276 00:32:08,129 --> 00:32:12,800 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 277 00:32:13,217 --> 00:32:17,930 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 278 00:32:18,931 --> 00:32:20,600 Like the firstborn son. 279 00:32:23,686 --> 00:32:27,523 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 280 00:32:28,691 --> 00:32:30,777 I wondered why 281 00:32:31,194 --> 00:32:33,279 they didn't notice me. 282 00:32:34,906 --> 00:32:39,160 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 283 00:32:39,577 --> 00:32:44,040 that everyone was killed in the attack. 284 00:32:44,457 --> 00:32:47,627 I decided to wait until dark. 285 00:32:48,044 --> 00:32:50,421 I had a good place to hide. 286 00:32:59,597 --> 00:33:02,058 I don't know why, but I decided 287 00:33:02,475 --> 00:33:04,894 to crawl out to the sea. 288 00:33:10,191 --> 00:33:15,905 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 289 00:33:17,532 --> 00:33:22,078 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 290 00:33:22,495 --> 00:33:23,538 How was the sea? 291 00:33:23,955 --> 00:33:27,917 Really calm, no waves. 292 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,838 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 293 00:33:47,645 --> 00:33:50,857 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 294 00:33:51,482 --> 00:33:54,527 But I was still really afraid 295 00:33:55,653 --> 00:33:58,740 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 296 00:33:59,157 --> 00:34:04,036 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 297 00:34:15,006 --> 00:34:19,802 While swimming through this peaceful water, 298 00:34:20,219 --> 00:34:23,347 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 299 00:34:23,765 --> 00:34:25,558 I felt the water pulsating. 300 00:34:25,975 --> 00:34:30,313 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 301 00:34:31,189 --> 00:34:35,359 My body shook with fear. 302 00:35:04,722 --> 00:35:09,143 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 303 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,271 They might be Israeli forces. 304 00:35:12,688 --> 00:35:16,651 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 305 00:35:17,068 --> 00:35:19,612 I could barely move my limbs. 306 00:35:31,082 --> 00:35:34,877 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 307 00:35:44,303 --> 00:35:47,014 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 308 00:35:47,432 --> 00:35:52,520 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 309 00:35:52,937 --> 00:35:55,273 I knew 310 00:35:56,232 --> 00:36:00,361 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 311 00:36:08,077 --> 00:36:12,331 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 312 00:36:16,085 --> 00:36:20,006 After I got back to my regiment, 313 00:36:20,423 --> 00:36:22,717 I felt like... 314 00:36:24,510 --> 00:36:27,638 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 315 00:36:28,055 --> 00:36:30,224 I always felt that they regarded me like... 316 00:36:35,396 --> 00:36:39,615 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 317 00:36:39,650 --> 00:36:46,657 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 318 00:36:47,033 --> 00:36:49,035 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 319 00:36:49,452 --> 00:36:51,621 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 320 00:36:52,038 --> 00:36:58,753 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 321 00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:04,092 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 322 00:37:04,509 --> 00:37:08,846 Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 323 00:37:09,263 --> 00:37:12,517 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 324 00:37:12,934 --> 00:37:15,645 As if I didn't do enough. 325 00:37:16,145 --> 00:37:17,480 I didn't do enough. 326 00:37:17,897 --> 00:37:23,945 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 327 00:37:24,362 --> 00:37:27,365 That's not me. I'm not the type. 328 00:38:05,445 --> 00:38:08,781 I bombed Sidon today 329 00:38:10,241 --> 00:38:15,037 amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 330 00:38:15,621 --> 00:38:20,126 I almost went home in a coffin 331 00:38:21,711 --> 00:38:24,338 I bombed Sidon today 332 00:38:28,885 --> 00:38:32,305 One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely. 333 00:38:32,722 --> 00:38:36,309 the army took the beach from which he had fled. 334 00:38:36,726 --> 00:38:40,563 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 335 00:38:41,189 --> 00:38:45,610 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 336 00:38:46,027 --> 00:38:48,237 I had a hut of banana leaves. 337 00:38:48,654 --> 00:38:50,490 Thinking back, 338 00:38:50,907 --> 00:38:56,454 the smell of Patchouli Oil still makes me nauseous. 339 00:38:58,122 --> 00:39:02,627 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate Frenkel, 340 00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:08,591 Patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 341 00:39:37,328 --> 00:39:40,164 Patchouli... How do you use it? 342 00:39:40,706 --> 00:39:42,208 Show me. 343 00:39:43,626 --> 00:39:47,588 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 344 00:39:56,389 --> 00:39:57,640 This way, 345 00:39:58,057 --> 00:40:00,935 your comrades always know you're there. 346 00:40:01,352 --> 00:40:05,106 I remember my men telling me: 347 00:40:05,523 --> 00:40:10,611 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit. " 348 00:40:13,197 --> 00:40:16,534 So what do you do? Patchouli! 349 00:40:16,951 --> 00:40:20,496 In the dark, at night... They couldn't miss me! 350 00:40:20,913 --> 00:40:25,168 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 351 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:27,462 I still use it. 352 00:40:29,589 --> 00:40:33,342 I bombed Beirut today 353 00:40:34,927 --> 00:40:38,931 I bombed Beirut every day 354 00:40:40,057 --> 00:40:45,063 If I came close to death I couldn't say 355 00:40:45,688 --> 00:40:48,691 I bombed Beirut every day 356 00:40:50,443 --> 00:40:54,322 At the pull of a trigger 357 00:40:55,990 --> 00:40:59,368 We can send strangers straight to Hell 358 00:41:01,788 --> 00:41:05,792 Sure, we kill some innocent along the way 359 00:41:06,751 --> 00:41:11,672 If I came close to death I couldn't say 360 00:41:12,090 --> 00:41:13,341 I bombed Beirut every day 361 00:41:16,177 --> 00:41:18,304 Our daily routine was this: 362 00:41:19,889 --> 00:41:21,474 Get up in the morning, 363 00:41:22,725 --> 00:41:27,146 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 364 00:41:27,730 --> 00:41:29,857 potted beef and eggs. 365 00:41:30,566 --> 00:41:32,110 On the beach. - On the beach. 366 00:41:33,152 --> 00:41:33,694 Take a quick swim, 367 00:41:34,737 --> 00:41:37,865 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 368 00:43:05,787 --> 00:43:07,914 Someone yelled, "Frenkel!" 369 00:43:09,957 --> 00:43:12,251 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 370 00:43:12,668 --> 00:43:14,212 A kid. 371 00:43:27,850 --> 00:43:29,936 Frenkel, was I there too? 372 00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:34,982 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 373 00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:37,985 Even there? - Yes, there too. 374 00:43:38,569 --> 00:43:41,739 Good to know. Of course I was there. 375 00:43:43,324 --> 00:43:47,662 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 376 00:43:48,079 --> 00:43:49,789 We call them "dissociative events". 377 00:43:50,331 --> 00:43:54,710 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 378 00:43:55,128 --> 00:43:59,006 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 379 00:43:59,424 --> 00:44:02,885 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that grueling war?" 380 00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:07,390 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip. " 381 00:44:08,307 --> 00:44:11,811 He told himself. "Wow! What great scenes: 382 00:44:12,228 --> 00:44:15,231 shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming... " 383 00:44:15,648 --> 00:44:20,695 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 384 00:44:34,751 --> 00:44:36,419 Then something happened: 385 00:44:37,545 --> 00:44:39,630 his 'camera' broke. 386 00:44:52,518 --> 00:44:55,229 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 387 00:44:55,646 --> 00:45:00,276 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 388 00:45:00,693 --> 00:45:01,778 The Hippodrome. 389 00:45:02,195 --> 00:45:06,032 He saw a huge number of carcasses 390 00:45:06,449 --> 00:45:10,453 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 391 00:45:10,870 --> 00:45:15,875 "It broke my heart. ", he said. "What had those horses done 392 00:45:16,292 --> 00:45:18,544 to deserve such suffering?" 393 00:45:18,961 --> 00:45:22,298 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 394 00:45:22,715 --> 00:45:25,551 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 395 00:45:25,968 --> 00:45:29,430 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 396 00:45:29,847 --> 00:45:31,933 This protected him. 397 00:45:32,350 --> 00:45:36,687 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 398 00:45:37,605 --> 00:45:41,359 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 399 00:45:48,616 --> 00:45:52,745 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 400 00:45:53,162 --> 00:45:54,414 where the boy with the RPG was. 401 00:45:56,082 --> 00:45:57,333 Can you remember other things? Like going home, 402 00:46:00,044 --> 00:46:02,713 chatting with friends, events from that time, 403 00:46:03,131 --> 00:46:07,176 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 404 00:46:07,593 --> 00:46:10,555 Yes, in detail. - For example? 405 00:46:10,972 --> 00:46:13,766 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 406 00:47:04,067 --> 00:47:07,570 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 407 00:47:08,654 --> 00:47:11,240 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 408 00:47:12,116 --> 00:47:15,745 All children sat with their mothers closed up indoors, 409 00:47:16,829 --> 00:47:19,415 behind closed blinds in the dark. 410 00:47:19,916 --> 00:47:23,169 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 411 00:47:25,797 --> 00:47:26,297 No one even dreamed of going outside. 412 00:47:29,509 --> 00:47:34,138 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks, 413 00:47:34,597 --> 00:47:38,267 and saw that life was carrying on normally. 414 00:47:50,113 --> 00:47:55,034 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend Yaeli. 415 00:47:55,451 --> 00:47:58,413 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 416 00:48:19,058 --> 00:48:23,479 Remember, how? Add some Sprite... 417 00:48:23,896 --> 00:48:25,356 Ready? 418 00:48:30,611 --> 00:48:31,738 Bottoms up! 419 00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:37,577 The memories are coming back. 420 00:48:37,994 --> 00:48:43,040 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 421 00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:46,502 At which point? - The first day of the war, 422 00:48:46,919 --> 00:48:49,172 the siege on Beirut. 423 00:48:49,589 --> 00:48:51,758 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 424 00:48:52,717 --> 00:48:53,885 How do you know? 425 00:48:57,722 --> 00:49:01,100 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 426 00:49:03,144 --> 00:49:05,855 No, I didn't know that. 427 00:49:06,272 --> 00:49:07,565 It's true. 428 00:49:09,859 --> 00:49:12,487 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 429 00:49:12,904 --> 00:49:15,448 It's OK. I'm not angry. 430 00:49:18,242 --> 00:49:20,912 At least you had your home, your family. 431 00:49:21,329 --> 00:49:24,332 What home? What family? 432 00:49:25,374 --> 00:49:26,417 You have no idea. 433 00:49:27,001 --> 00:49:28,044 My father... 434 00:49:28,836 --> 00:49:34,342 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 435 00:49:34,759 --> 00:49:36,677 World War II... 436 00:49:37,095 --> 00:49:38,596 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 437 00:49:39,013 --> 00:49:42,266 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 438 00:49:51,734 --> 00:49:56,572 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 439 00:49:57,490 --> 00:49:59,659 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 440 00:50:00,034 --> 00:50:04,539 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 441 00:50:04,956 --> 00:50:06,249 Understand? 442 00:50:09,377 --> 00:50:14,382 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 443 00:50:14,799 --> 00:50:18,010 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 444 00:50:18,428 --> 00:50:21,764 Back then, a new trend started: car bombs. 445 00:50:22,181 --> 00:50:23,683 Still popular today. 446 00:50:24,100 --> 00:50:26,686 They're a blast! 447 00:50:27,103 --> 00:50:29,147 A real blast! 448 00:50:30,940 --> 00:50:35,111 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 449 00:50:41,576 --> 00:50:43,995 Everything is made of gold. 450 00:50:44,412 --> 00:50:48,541 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 451 00:50:50,793 --> 00:50:55,214 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 452 00:50:55,631 --> 00:50:58,801 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward. " 453 00:50:59,927 --> 00:51:01,679 Fast forward. 454 00:51:02,346 --> 00:51:03,806 THE PLUMBER COMES 2 455 00:51:04,390 --> 00:51:08,436 I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 456 00:51:14,067 --> 00:51:18,237 Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 457 00:51:24,619 --> 00:51:25,119 Fast forward. 458 00:51:37,799 --> 00:51:38,841 Stop. 459 00:51:52,647 --> 00:51:53,564 He changes the tape and says: 460 00:51:53,981 --> 00:51:58,111 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 461 00:51:58,528 --> 00:52:00,196 It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 462 00:52:00,613 --> 00:52:02,949 Blow it up first. 463 00:52:03,366 --> 00:52:06,369 Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 464 00:52:06,994 --> 00:52:08,996 Did the Mercedes come? 465 00:52:09,664 --> 00:52:15,086 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 466 00:52:15,503 --> 00:52:18,381 for this impending disaster. 467 00:52:55,293 --> 00:53:00,423 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 468 00:53:01,883 --> 00:53:03,301 Bashir is dead. 469 00:53:04,469 --> 00:53:05,970 Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 470 00:53:06,471 --> 00:53:08,723 the elected president of Lebanon. 471 00:53:09,432 --> 00:53:13,811 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 472 00:53:14,562 --> 00:53:18,608 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 473 00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:22,528 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 474 00:53:22,904 --> 00:53:26,908 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 475 00:53:27,283 --> 00:53:31,120 Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before. 476 00:53:31,537 --> 00:53:34,457 Death would be my revenge. 477 00:53:34,874 --> 00:53:37,752 She would be ridden with guilt 478 00:53:38,169 --> 00:53:40,129 for the rest of her life. 479 00:53:44,008 --> 00:53:46,594 While fantasizing about my death, 480 00:53:47,637 --> 00:53:49,222 we approach Beirut. 481 00:53:49,389 --> 00:53:51,974 A city with hotels, beaches, 482 00:53:52,892 --> 00:53:54,477 and people scurrying about. 483 00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:57,730 We land at the international airport. 484 00:53:58,147 --> 00:54:03,444 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 485 00:54:03,736 --> 00:54:05,822 and British Airways. 486 00:54:06,572 --> 00:54:09,826 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad, 487 00:54:10,076 --> 00:54:12,870 excited all over. 488 00:54:20,628 --> 00:54:22,755 At some point I simply take off 489 00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:25,299 and walk into the terminal. 490 00:54:26,384 --> 00:54:29,220 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 491 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,141 a sort of hallucination. 492 00:54:33,975 --> 00:54:35,768 Like standing in a terminal 493 00:54:36,144 --> 00:54:39,021 waiting to choose my destination. 494 00:54:39,272 --> 00:54:42,650 Before that '80s departures board, 495 00:54:43,067 --> 00:54:46,446 the choice is all mine. 496 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,699 I see the 14:10 to London, 497 00:54:50,032 --> 00:54:52,160 the 15:20 to Paris, 498 00:54:52,493 --> 00:54:53,745 the 16:00 to New York... 499 00:54:56,581 --> 00:54:57,832 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 500 00:55:00,710 --> 00:55:03,504 jewellery, tobacco, 501 00:55:03,921 --> 00:55:05,006 alcohol... 502 00:55:05,423 --> 00:55:09,677 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 503 00:55:10,094 --> 00:55:13,639 Through the window I see 504 00:55:14,015 --> 00:55:18,686 that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed- out shells. 505 00:55:20,313 --> 00:55:21,814 And the shops are empty, 506 00:55:22,523 --> 00:55:24,150 they've long since been looted. 507 00:55:24,567 --> 00:55:29,113 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 508 00:55:30,823 --> 00:55:33,284 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 509 00:55:34,327 --> 00:55:37,997 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 510 00:55:39,248 --> 00:55:40,500 Slowly I begin to realize where I am 511 00:55:40,875 --> 00:55:43,753 and I am afraid of what will happen next. 512 00:55:48,591 --> 00:55:52,595 We start walking from the airport to the city. 513 00:55:53,012 --> 00:55:56,349 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 514 00:55:57,308 --> 00:55:59,519 The sea is at our side. 515 00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:12,907 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 516 00:56:14,033 --> 00:56:19,038 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 517 00:56:20,081 --> 00:56:25,711 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 518 00:56:26,129 --> 00:56:30,883 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 519 00:56:31,426 --> 00:56:33,219 We were scared to death. 520 00:56:46,190 --> 00:56:48,151 Then, in the middle of this hell, 521 00:56:48,568 --> 00:56:53,156 that TV correspondent Ron Ben- Yishai suddenly shows up. 522 00:56:53,781 --> 00:56:58,911 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 523 00:56:59,328 --> 00:57:03,499 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whiz past him. 524 00:57:04,083 --> 00:57:08,171 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls forward. 525 00:57:08,588 --> 00:57:13,593 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 526 00:57:14,177 --> 00:57:16,637 It was a large junction. 527 00:57:17,597 --> 00:57:22,769 One lane led directly into Hamra street, 528 00:57:23,936 --> 00:57:26,439 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 529 00:57:27,482 --> 00:57:31,110 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise... 530 00:57:31,778 --> 00:57:35,823 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded 531 00:57:36,741 --> 00:57:38,785 like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 532 00:57:39,202 --> 00:57:42,705 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 533 00:57:44,749 --> 00:57:47,502 You don't hear an explosion, 534 00:57:47,877 --> 00:57:52,048 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 535 00:57:53,091 --> 00:57:58,805 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 536 00:57:59,889 --> 00:58:00,890 women, children, 537 00:58:01,641 --> 00:58:05,937 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 538 00:58:19,325 --> 00:58:24,539 They are shooting at us from all directions. 539 00:58:30,586 --> 00:58:33,089 And we can't get across. 540 00:58:33,506 --> 00:58:37,510 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 541 00:58:38,094 --> 00:58:40,138 During my officer's training, I thought, 542 00:58:40,805 --> 00:58:44,559 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 543 00:58:45,101 --> 00:58:45,643 So they gave me a Galil. 544 00:58:46,894 --> 00:58:52,859 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 545 00:58:53,609 --> 00:58:58,448 I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 546 00:58:59,449 --> 00:59:03,953 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 547 00:59:04,871 --> 00:59:08,249 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favor. 548 00:59:10,835 --> 00:59:15,339 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 549 00:59:15,374 --> 00:59:18,342 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 550 00:59:19,385 --> 00:59:19,927 I'll shoot better. " 551 00:59:21,512 --> 00:59:24,766 He says, " Frenkel, are you nuts? 552 00:59:25,183 --> 00:59:29,812 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 553 00:59:32,815 --> 00:59:35,193 I finally realize that I must 554 00:59:35,276 --> 00:59:38,578 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 555 00:59:38,613 --> 00:59:45,369 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force!" 556 01:00:10,103 --> 01:00:12,480 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 557 01:00:12,980 --> 01:00:15,149 there was Frenkel at the junction 558 01:00:15,566 --> 01:00:18,861 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 559 01:00:19,278 --> 01:00:22,031 Instead of crossing the junction, 560 01:00:22,448 --> 01:00:25,493 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 561 01:00:26,661 --> 01:00:30,456 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 562 01:00:30,873 --> 01:00:35,503 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 563 01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:38,673 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 564 01:00:39,090 --> 01:00:42,427 And Bashir's followers 565 01:00:42,844 --> 01:00:44,846 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 566 01:00:45,263 --> 01:00:48,891 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 567 01:00:59,235 --> 01:01:02,530 I'm starting to remember. 568 01:01:03,156 --> 01:01:06,242 I've met people, I've heard stories... 569 01:01:06,826 --> 01:01:08,411 Stories about myself. 570 01:01:09,454 --> 01:01:10,496 I didn't want to believe them. 571 01:01:12,832 --> 01:01:16,043 So what can't you remember? 572 01:01:16,586 --> 01:01:21,299 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 573 01:01:22,341 --> 01:01:26,512 I don't understand why people were so surprised 574 01:01:27,138 --> 01:01:30,099 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 575 01:01:30,516 --> 01:01:33,269 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 576 01:01:38,066 --> 01:01:42,195 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 577 01:01:42,236 --> 01:01:45,782 Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 578 01:01:46,866 --> 01:01:51,537 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 579 01:01:52,038 --> 01:01:54,957 It was like being on an LSD trip. 580 01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,802 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 581 01:02:06,219 --> 01:02:08,513 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 582 01:02:10,890 --> 01:02:15,603 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 583 01:02:21,359 --> 01:02:24,112 And always pictures of Bashir. 584 01:02:24,862 --> 01:02:28,241 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 585 01:02:28,658 --> 01:02:34,580 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 586 01:02:34,956 --> 01:02:39,460 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 587 01:02:40,461 --> 01:02:43,423 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 588 01:02:44,006 --> 01:02:45,800 Totally erotic. 589 01:02:47,385 --> 01:02:51,848 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 590 01:02:52,849 --> 01:02:55,017 The next day he was murdered. 591 01:02:55,435 --> 01:02:59,063 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 592 01:03:00,231 --> 01:03:03,109 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 593 01:03:03,526 --> 01:03:06,863 This was about family honor, which runs deep. 594 01:03:10,116 --> 01:03:11,367 Why did you come back? 595 01:03:11,951 --> 01:03:17,165 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 596 01:03:18,458 --> 01:03:20,793 And you're there with me. 597 01:04:00,625 --> 01:04:02,293 You're crazy. 598 01:04:02,919 --> 01:04:04,921 You're obsessed. 599 01:04:05,296 --> 01:04:09,884 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 600 01:04:10,301 --> 01:04:12,345 What beach? 601 01:04:23,439 --> 01:04:26,067 I've reached a dead end. 602 01:04:26,484 --> 01:04:30,780 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 603 01:04:31,572 --> 01:04:34,492 No one who was with me 604 01:04:34,909 --> 01:04:39,664 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 605 01:04:40,081 --> 01:04:43,209 I only have this one vision. 606 01:04:43,626 --> 01:04:49,215 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 607 01:04:49,632 --> 01:04:51,968 It's still real. - It's a vision. 608 01:04:52,385 --> 01:04:55,346 But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 609 01:04:55,763 --> 01:05:00,435 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 610 01:05:01,561 --> 01:05:05,940 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 611 01:05:06,357 --> 01:05:07,984 That doesn't help me much. 612 01:05:08,401 --> 01:05:13,614 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 613 01:05:14,323 --> 01:05:17,243 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 614 01:05:17,660 --> 01:05:22,123 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 615 01:05:22,540 --> 01:05:24,375 Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 616 01:05:24,584 --> 01:05:26,169 Auschwitz? - Yes. 617 01:05:26,836 --> 01:05:31,257 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 618 01:05:31,924 --> 01:05:34,802 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 619 01:05:35,511 --> 01:05:39,724 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 620 01:05:40,725 --> 01:05:43,978 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 621 01:05:44,437 --> 01:05:47,315 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 622 01:05:47,732 --> 01:05:50,943 Get details and more details. That way... 623 01:05:52,904 --> 01:05:56,949 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly. 624 01:05:57,366 --> 01:05:59,368 and what role you played. 625 01:06:08,377 --> 01:06:13,466 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 626 01:06:13,883 --> 01:06:17,678 It was actually on a hill. This hill 627 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:22,058 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 628 01:06:22,433 --> 01:06:27,939 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 629 01:06:28,356 --> 01:06:31,025 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 630 01:06:31,442 --> 01:06:33,319 and retaliate. 631 01:06:38,199 --> 01:06:40,868 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 632 01:06:41,285 --> 01:06:44,497 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 633 01:06:44,914 --> 01:06:47,375 took position behind tanks. 634 01:06:48,709 --> 01:06:53,172 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 635 01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:58,010 What was it about? - They told us that the Christians 636 01:06:58,511 --> 01:07:01,639 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 637 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,893 Once they had purged the camps. 638 01:07:06,310 --> 01:07:08,479 we would seize control. 639 01:07:08,563 --> 01:07:11,816 Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 640 01:08:02,867 --> 01:08:06,412 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 641 01:08:13,336 --> 01:08:18,508 The civilians were led out of the camps 642 01:08:18,925 --> 01:08:22,637 in a long line. 643 01:08:23,054 --> 01:08:26,724 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 644 01:08:27,141 --> 01:08:29,519 and occasionally firing into the air. 645 01:08:30,812 --> 01:08:32,438 There were women, old people, 646 01:08:32,855 --> 01:08:37,568 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 647 01:08:39,779 --> 01:08:46,035 From inside the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 648 01:08:46,070 --> 01:08:48,336 Did you think about it? 649 01:08:48,371 --> 01:08:51,881 Not really, because wherever we went, 650 01:08:51,916 --> 01:08:55,211 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 651 01:08:55,628 --> 01:09:01,342 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 652 01:09:01,377 --> 01:09:07,223 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 653 01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:10,893 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out!" 654 01:09:34,333 --> 01:09:39,005 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 655 01:09:39,714 --> 01:09:43,676 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 656 01:09:44,761 --> 01:09:45,970 On the way, 657 01:09:46,387 --> 01:09:49,682 many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 658 01:09:50,099 --> 01:09:55,897 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 659 01:09:56,314 --> 01:10:00,485 At the airfield, I met a Colonel friend. 660 01:10:01,110 --> 01:10:03,362 He told me, 661 01:10:04,447 --> 01:10:07,575 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 662 01:10:07,992 --> 01:10:10,578 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 663 01:10:10,995 --> 01:10:13,706 "What's happening?" I asked. 664 01:10:14,123 --> 01:10:20,004 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre. " 665 01:10:20,421 --> 01:10:26,677 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 666 01:10:27,345 --> 01:10:32,100 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 667 01:10:32,517 --> 01:10:37,480 They were wounded, some in critical condition. 668 01:10:37,939 --> 01:10:40,525 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 669 01:10:50,410 --> 01:10:54,080 We saw a Phalangist soldier 670 01:10:54,580 --> 01:10:56,749 taking an old man away. 671 01:10:59,836 --> 01:11:03,297 At some point we heard shots. 672 01:11:04,048 --> 01:11:06,008 We heard shots. 673 01:11:06,926 --> 01:11:10,096 Then the soldier came out alone. 674 01:11:10,513 --> 01:11:13,891 We asked him what happened. 675 01:11:14,642 --> 01:11:20,898 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "Boom!" 676 01:11:21,774 --> 01:11:26,112 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 677 01:11:26,529 --> 01:11:29,615 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 678 01:11:30,032 --> 01:11:31,909 he shot him in the stomach and head. 679 01:11:35,580 --> 01:11:39,208 Didn't you ever realize 680 01:11:39,876 --> 01:11:43,921 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 681 01:11:44,964 --> 01:11:49,135 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 682 01:11:50,178 --> 01:11:51,220 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 683 01:11:51,804 --> 01:11:55,892 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 684 01:11:57,435 --> 01:11:59,020 Yes, of course. 685 01:12:00,354 --> 01:12:06,319 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 686 01:12:06,819 --> 01:12:09,030 From the top of their tanks, 687 01:12:09,447 --> 01:12:14,368 they started shouting, "They are shooting people!" 688 01:12:26,798 --> 01:12:30,968 They claim that people were lined up against the well and shot. 689 01:12:31,719 --> 01:12:36,224 So I called my commanding officer. 690 01:12:36,682 --> 01:12:40,895 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 691 01:12:42,772 --> 01:12:46,776 He said, “We know about it. It's under control. We reported it. " 692 01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:51,760 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 693 01:12:51,795 --> 01:12:56,160 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 694 01:12:56,744 --> 01:13:00,915 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 695 01:13:01,416 --> 01:13:05,294 How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 696 01:13:05,711 --> 01:13:08,965 They surely had a better view than I did. 697 01:13:34,449 --> 01:13:39,245 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 698 01:13:39,662 --> 01:13:43,207 to my place in Bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 699 01:13:43,624 --> 01:13:48,588 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 700 01:13:49,005 --> 01:13:55,887 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 701 01:13:56,304 --> 01:14:00,683 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 702 01:14:01,517 --> 01:14:04,270 He said: “Ron, 703 01:14:04,687 --> 01:14:10,193 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps. " 704 01:14:10,610 --> 01:14:14,238 He mentioned one or two incidents, 705 01:14:14,697 --> 01:14:16,491 saying a family was seen shot. 706 01:14:17,533 --> 01:14:20,661 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 707 01:14:21,329 --> 01:14:24,832 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 708 01:14:24,916 --> 01:14:31,089 The officers sitting here did, too. " We talked about it over dinner later. 709 01:14:31,798 --> 01:14:36,219 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 710 01:14:37,136 --> 01:14:41,474 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Arik Sharon. 711 01:14:43,142 --> 01:14:45,228 At his ranch. 712 01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:49,357 Arik was half asleep. 713 01:14:49,774 --> 01:14:55,488 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 714 01:14:56,572 --> 01:15:01,244 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it. " 715 01:15:01,953 --> 01:15:05,415 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 716 01:15:07,041 --> 01:15:13,214 "No", I said, “but there are several witnesses who saw it. " 717 01:15:13,339 --> 01:15:15,550 "Okay", he said. 718 01:15:16,342 --> 01:15:18,970 "T hanks for bringing it to my attention. “That was all. 719 01:15:19,637 --> 01:15:23,683 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it. “But no! 720 01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:29,439 He said, “Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year!" 721 01:15:30,189 --> 01:15:33,359 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 722 01:15:33,776 --> 01:15:36,779 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 723 01:15:37,196 --> 01:15:40,700 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 724 01:15:42,994 --> 01:15:47,582 All around were several circles of our soldiers 725 01:15:49,083 --> 01:15:51,502 Every circle had some information. 726 01:15:51,919 --> 01:15:54,839 The first one had the most. However, 727 01:15:55,256 --> 01:15:57,884 the penny didn't drop. 728 01:15:58,301 --> 01:16:00,887 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 729 01:16:01,304 --> 01:16:02,638 What circle were you in? 730 01:16:03,056 --> 01:16:05,600 In the second or third. 731 01:16:06,017 --> 01:16:09,062 What did you do? 732 01:16:10,813 --> 01:16:14,650 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 733 01:16:15,401 --> 01:16:18,821 With what? - Flares. 734 01:16:19,238 --> 01:16:23,284 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 735 01:16:29,749 --> 01:16:31,542 Did you fire the flares? 736 01:16:31,959 --> 01:16:33,294 Is that important? 737 01:16:33,711 --> 01:16:37,090 Does it make any difference if I fired them 738 01:16:37,507 --> 01:16:41,636 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 739 01:16:43,638 --> 01:16:47,350 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 740 01:16:47,767 --> 01:16:51,646 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 741 01:16:52,063 --> 01:16:56,526 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 742 01:16:56,943 --> 01:16:59,862 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 743 01:17:00,279 --> 01:17:02,573 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 744 01:17:02,990 --> 01:17:07,412 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 745 01:17:22,969 --> 01:17:27,724 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 746 01:17:28,683 --> 01:17:30,810 the whole team. 747 01:17:31,227 --> 01:17:34,439 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 748 01:17:35,606 --> 01:17:37,608 When I arrived there... 749 01:17:38,276 --> 01:17:40,403 What a mess! 750 01:17:42,238 --> 01:17:46,367 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 751 01:17:47,660 --> 01:17:51,581 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 752 01:17:53,875 --> 01:17:56,335 That's just how the long line of women, 753 01:17:56,753 --> 01:17:59,881 old people and children looked. 754 01:18:00,298 --> 01:18:03,301 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters, 755 01:18:04,510 --> 01:18:08,639 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 756 01:18:09,057 --> 01:18:10,933 He drove to the head of the convoy. 757 01:18:11,350 --> 01:18:15,480 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 758 01:18:15,897 --> 01:18:19,025 And that was the end of it. 759 01:18:49,097 --> 01:18:52,016 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 760 01:18:52,433 --> 01:18:57,021 The women and children returned to the camp. 761 01:18:57,438 --> 01:18:59,816 The Palestinians? - Yes. 762 01:19:07,532 --> 01:19:11,702 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 763 01:19:12,495 --> 01:19:14,330 With those women and children. 764 01:19:16,207 --> 01:19:19,752 We'll see what happened in there. " 765 01:19:20,169 --> 01:19:23,089 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 766 01:19:23,756 --> 01:19:25,508 My eye caught 767 01:19:25,925 --> 01:19:28,010 a hand, a small hand. 768 01:19:28,428 --> 01:19:34,100 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 769 01:19:35,017 --> 01:19:39,522 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 770 01:19:40,982 --> 01:19:46,654 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 771 01:19:47,071 --> 01:19:52,785 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 772 01:19:54,871 --> 01:19:56,456 A hand and a head. 773 01:19:57,039 --> 01:20:00,835 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 774 01:20:01,252 --> 01:20:04,964 And she had curly hair, too. 775 01:20:10,178 --> 01:20:13,973 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 776 01:20:14,390 --> 01:20:17,310 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 777 01:20:17,727 --> 01:20:20,772 The young men had been shot first. 778 01:20:21,314 --> 01:20:24,525 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 779 01:20:26,069 --> 01:20:29,697 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 780 01:20:30,114 --> 01:20:33,076 the width of a man and a half 781 01:20:33,534 --> 01:20:36,662 That alley was full... 782 01:20:37,121 --> 01:20:42,502 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 783 01:20:42,877 --> 01:20:44,962 with the bodies of young men. 784 01:20:45,380 --> 01:20:50,385 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.