1 00:00:02,519 --> 00:00:03,811 My God... 2 00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:09,358 it's full-on double rainbow all the way across the sky! 3 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,735 Whoa! 4 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,363 My God! My God! 5 00:00:14,572 --> 00:00:17,157 My God! 6 00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:19,743 Whoo! 7 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,745 What does this mean? 8 00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:25,457 It's so bright. 9 00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,876 My God, it's so bright and vivid. 10 00:00:28,086 --> 00:00:30,671 It's starting to look like a triple rainbow. 11 00:00:35,176 --> 00:00:37,261 Going streaking across the quad! 12 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,937 Coochie, coochie, coochie! 13 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,735 Yeah. No, I know. - 14 00:00:53,945 --> 00:00:56,405 No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm paying attention. 15 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,199 Mom, I'm listening. Just talk. 16 00:00:59,576 --> 00:01:01,910 - Tyrone. - Are you going trick-or-treating? 17 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,662 - No, because... - Pow! 18 00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,021 I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car. 19 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,648 David, hey. David Clark. 20 00:02:12,857 --> 00:02:13,941 Rick Nathanson. 21 00:02:14,817 --> 00:02:17,819 - I'm sorry. - Little Ricky. We went to college together. 22 00:02:18,154 --> 00:02:19,738 Shit. Hey, dude. 23 00:02:19,948 --> 00:02:23,367 We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews one time and I tried to kiss you. 24 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,953 That's right. I remember that. Yeah. 25 00:02:26,204 --> 00:02:27,246 Yeah. "Crash." 26 00:02:27,455 --> 00:02:28,538 Yup. 27 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,667 Wow. I didn't recognize you. You look very different. 28 00:02:31,876 --> 00:02:33,961 I've gained a little bit of daddy weight. 29 00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:35,587 You know the drill. 30 00:02:35,797 --> 00:02:37,339 Actually, I don't, no. 31 00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:41,093 No way. No way! Still a free agent. 32 00:02:41,302 --> 00:02:44,471 You son of a bitch! You lucky son of a bitch. 33 00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:48,600 You lucky, lucky son of a bitch. Wow, that's amazing. Wow. 34 00:02:49,727 --> 00:02:52,187 Here. For old times' sake? 35 00:02:53,064 --> 00:02:54,147 For daddy stress. 36 00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:56,483 You're still dealing weed? 37 00:02:57,026 --> 00:02:58,527 Best in Denver. 38 00:02:59,362 --> 00:03:01,405 That's fucking awesome. My God. 39 00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:03,532 That is so cool. 40 00:03:03,741 --> 00:03:05,450 - You're still at it. - Yeah. 41 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,744 I envy you, man. I do. 42 00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,622 Look at you. No wife, no kids. 43 00:03:10,873 --> 00:03:12,165 No responsibilities. 44 00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,668 Pfft, nothing. You got nothing. 45 00:03:14,877 --> 00:03:17,254 You could disappear tomorrow and who'd even know? 46 00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:20,007 - What I wouldn't give. - Yeah. 47 00:03:20,216 --> 00:03:22,467 Hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean... 48 00:03:22,677 --> 00:03:25,304 No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me. It's all right. 49 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:27,681 - Great seeing you. - Great seeing you. 50 00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,474 Okay, bud, I believe in you. 51 00:03:29,684 --> 00:03:31,518 - Hey, David? - Yeah? 52 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,354 - Facebook me. We'll get weird. - I don't think so. 53 00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:37,357 - Ha, ha! Get out of here. - Good luck with the family. 54 00:03:39,235 --> 00:03:40,902 Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck. Hey, great news. 55 00:03:41,112 --> 00:03:43,030 We're gonna get high and fuck tonight. 56 00:03:43,239 --> 00:03:45,490 I'm sorry, honey. Put Mommy on the phone, okay? 57 00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:04,426 I'm-a take my skirt, boot, rings All off 58 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:07,971 Skirt, boots, rings All off 59 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:11,224 Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy Drive me mad, boy 60 00:04:11,434 --> 00:04:13,518 You don't care what they Say about me 61 00:04:13,728 --> 00:04:17,481 Girl is a problem Girl is a problem, problem 62 00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:26,907 Wow. 63 00:04:27,116 --> 00:04:29,826 - You dance super good. - Thanks. 64 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,079 I'm Kymberly. With a Y. 65 00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:35,624 I'm Rose. With an R. 66 00:04:36,292 --> 00:04:37,918 Is that your stage name? 67 00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:39,961 - My what? - Your stage name. 68 00:04:40,171 --> 00:04:43,423 To protect yourself from the creeps out there. You should pick one. 69 00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:48,512 You know, something simple but sexy and cute and short, maybe. 70 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,181 - Do you have a nickname? - Totally! 71 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,599 Great. Use that, because... 72 00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:54,726 I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see? 73 00:04:54,936 --> 00:04:56,019 Well, n... 74 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,437 Check it out. 75 00:04:57,647 --> 00:05:01,191 "Boner Garage." Whoa. 76 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,151 You got a little arrow there even. 77 00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:05,112 Is that not like the hottest? 78 00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:07,322 Boner Garage, you're up. 79 00:05:07,532 --> 00:05:11,660 Look at that. So excited and full of life. That'll fade. 80 00:05:11,869 --> 00:05:16,748 Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on break, but I need a lap dance. Table five. 81 00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:19,793 Just don't get too close. The guy has two hook hands. 82 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,838 How did we let that guy back in here? 83 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,507 Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha! 84 00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:54,995 How was work this evening? 85 00:05:55,204 --> 00:05:56,288 What do you care? 86 00:05:56,497 --> 00:05:57,622 I'm just asking. 87 00:05:57,832 --> 00:05:59,040 Just don't. 88 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,293 Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around? 89 00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:03,837 No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why? 90 00:06:04,046 --> 00:06:06,882 Well, because Jimmy still owes me 400 bucks, so... 91 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,551 Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs to people. 92 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,471 All right. Good tip. 93 00:06:13,389 --> 00:06:16,558 I was thinking is that maybe you could help him out, settle his debt. 94 00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:20,854 - Not a fucking chance. - You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor. 95 00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:23,482 Really? Neighbor? You're not a neighbor. 96 00:06:23,691 --> 00:06:26,693 You're a drug dealer whose apartment smells like cheese and feet. 97 00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:29,779 Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie. 98 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,866 Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it. It's a bestseller. 99 00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,828 Rose, got a piece of your mail here. 100 00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:40,874 I'd lend you some money, but we're not neighbors. 101 00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:42,292 You're such a dick! 102 00:06:43,461 --> 00:06:45,212 Have fun dying alone, jerk. 103 00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:47,756 Have fun digging out the singles from your crotch. 104 00:06:47,965 --> 00:06:49,716 My crotch only takes 20s, David. 105 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,472 Hey, David. 106 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:58,683 - Hi, Kenny. - I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting. 107 00:06:58,893 --> 00:07:01,937 It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college. 108 00:07:02,605 --> 00:07:05,148 What are you doing up? It's almost 2. Where's your mom? 109 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:09,319 - She went for a drink. With a friend. - When? 110 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,363 Last week. 111 00:07:11,572 --> 00:07:13,907 So I got the whole place to myself. 112 00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:16,826 Yeah. Rolling Han Solo for the weekend. 113 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,040 Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if... 114 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:25,710 - I don't sell to kids, Kenny. - I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon. 115 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,962 Not a kid, David. 116 00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:30,131 Yeah, you are. Take care. 117 00:07:30,758 --> 00:07:32,926 Give me my fucking phone. 118 00:07:33,135 --> 00:07:36,054 - You guys are such assholes. - Hey, baby. 119 00:07:36,264 --> 00:07:37,514 Leave her alone. 120 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,516 - I'm sorry, baby. - Unhand her. 121 00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:42,102 Hey, leave her alone. 122 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,814 Goddamn it, Kenny. 123 00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:47,941 - Fucking tough guy - You don't have to... 124 00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,317 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 125 00:07:49,527 --> 00:07:51,820 Easy, easy. What's going on here? 126 00:07:52,029 --> 00:07:56,074 - Mind your fucking business, old man. - My God. You're a dude. Ha, ha! 127 00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:59,661 That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure. 128 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,871 These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone. 129 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,124 You have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless? 130 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,167 So? Fuck you, dude. 131 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,129 Okay, this was fun. Carry on. 132 00:08:09,338 --> 00:08:10,964 - Come on, let's go. - What? No. 133 00:08:11,299 --> 00:08:13,425 These guys are picking on her and it's not fair. 134 00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:16,052 What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero? 135 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,721 Not a hero. He's a dumb kid. 136 00:08:18,306 --> 00:08:21,808 I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. What do you say? 137 00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,184 - "Move along"? - Yeah. 138 00:08:23,394 --> 00:08:26,855 - What are you, some kind of cop? - He's not a cop. He's actually really cool. 139 00:08:27,064 --> 00:08:28,315 - Thanks. - He's a drug dealer. 140 00:08:28,524 --> 00:08:30,650 - Really? - Goddamn it, Kenny. 141 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:31,985 Give me your backpack. 142 00:08:32,194 --> 00:08:33,278 I don't wanna fight. 143 00:08:33,487 --> 00:08:36,948 Well, there's not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack... 144 00:08:37,158 --> 00:08:39,659 or I'm gonna stab you in the neck and take it. 145 00:08:41,245 --> 00:08:43,872 It's a real Sophie's choice here? All right. 146 00:08:44,248 --> 00:08:45,373 Okay, backpack it is. 147 00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:46,666 if you wa... 148 00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:50,253 Run, Kenny! 149 00:08:52,506 --> 00:08:53,673 You're dead meat! 150 00:08:58,512 --> 00:09:02,432 Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what? 151 00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:05,810 Fucking shit! Shit! 152 00:09:08,522 --> 00:09:09,981 Shit. 153 00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:19,074 Sorry. This is fucking dumb. 154 00:09:26,457 --> 00:09:28,249 Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker. 155 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:32,087 - We got you now. - Unh! 156 00:09:32,296 --> 00:09:35,382 - Do whatever's in the safe too. - Look at that. 157 00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:38,426 It's not even my money. if you take that my boss will kill me. 158 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,472 You okay, David? I can help. I'll call the cops. 159 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,099 No, I'm okay. 160 00:09:59,907 --> 00:10:00,949 Hey! 161 00:10:01,575 --> 00:10:03,368 Whoa, what the...! Unh! 162 00:10:03,577 --> 00:10:05,578 When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there! 163 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:17,632 Please don't tell me where we're going. I love surprises. 164 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,468 - All right. Okay. - Can I help you? 165 00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:22,762 Hi. You ordered two black guys. 166 00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:24,931 Okay. This guy. 167 00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:27,475 No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please? 168 00:10:27,685 --> 00:10:30,019 I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you something? 169 00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:32,021 Coffee. Tea. Fresca. 170 00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:35,900 You know what, a Fresca sounds really good. 171 00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:37,402 - You got it. - Appreciate it. 172 00:10:37,611 --> 00:10:40,071 Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It's on me. 173 00:10:40,281 --> 00:10:41,406 Replenishes electrolytes. 174 00:10:41,615 --> 00:10:44,284 Don't want you cramping up when you jerk each other off. 175 00:10:44,493 --> 00:10:45,577 Nice meeting you. 176 00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,415 Easy. 177 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,459 Easy. Oof! 178 00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:54,961 Okay. I'm gonna hang out here if that's all right. 179 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,213 Thank you for that. That's very helpful. 180 00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:00,175 David Clark. 181 00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:03,344 You're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic. 182 00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:05,847 Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? 183 00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:09,225 Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. 184 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:11,519 - I got robbed, okay. I swear. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 185 00:11:11,729 --> 00:11:12,854 What are you...? What...? 186 00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:14,105 The plastic? 187 00:11:14,398 --> 00:11:15,523 Yeah, the plastic. 188 00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:16,775 I've seen Dexter. 189 00:11:16,984 --> 00:11:21,571 Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha. 190 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:25,158 You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick. 191 00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:27,452 Well, what am I supposed to think, man? 192 00:11:27,661 --> 00:11:30,455 You've got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on. 193 00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:33,208 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to freak you out. 194 00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:36,419 - It's fine. - You do know I've killed people though? 195 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:38,171 Yeah, Brad, I know. 196 00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:39,589 Ha-ha. All right, have a seat. 197 00:11:41,258 --> 00:11:42,717 Whoa, what the fuck is that? 198 00:11:42,927 --> 00:11:46,179 What? My orca? Yeah, I bought an orca. 199 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,432 I make a lot of money. 200 00:11:50,893 --> 00:11:52,060 So you bought a whale? 201 00:11:52,269 --> 00:11:53,770 Well, I don't like sports cars. 202 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,439 - Yeah, yeah. - So where's my money, David? 203 00:11:56,774 --> 00:11:59,275 Come on, man. We go back. 204 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,444 We do go back. But it's not college anymore. 205 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,696 We're not selling lids out of my dorm room. 206 00:12:03,906 --> 00:12:06,449 And you owe me $43,000. 207 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,661 I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. 208 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:12,956 This week's drop, 22 grand of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked. 209 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:18,253 Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us. 210 00:12:18,963 --> 00:12:21,548 - Great. - I have a smidge of very choice... 211 00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,424 mari-ju-ana down in Mexico... 212 00:12:23,634 --> 00:12:25,510 and I need it here by Sunday night. 213 00:12:25,719 --> 00:12:28,555 My regular courier is out because he got gunned down. 214 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,014 That's where you come in. 215 00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:32,809 You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. 216 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,604 Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt... 217 00:12:36,814 --> 00:12:41,192 I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000. 218 00:12:41,402 --> 00:12:44,445 You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border? 219 00:12:45,322 --> 00:12:47,532 Smidge and a half. It's nothing. 220 00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:50,743 Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie. 221 00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:54,497 I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer. 222 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,959 This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico... 223 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:01,629 go to this address, tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 224 00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:03,923 - Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? - I am. 225 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:10,847 You don't get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right? 226 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:15,602 I mean, that's white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything. 227 00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:22,191 I don't know. I don't think so, man. This is way out of my league. 228 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:23,776 It's a federal crime. 229 00:13:23,986 --> 00:13:27,906 if I try to cross the border with more than a pound, you're talking like, um... 230 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,118 Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. if you get a happy judge. 231 00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:34,329 Yeah. Jeez. Not good. 232 00:13:34,538 --> 00:13:37,040 - Although, you're forgetting one thing. - What? 233 00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:39,626 You don't have a fucking choice. 234 00:13:42,796 --> 00:13:45,548 So now you're gonna become an even bigger drug dealer? 235 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,092 Drug smuggler, Kenny. There's a difference. 236 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,098 You're probably gonna get searched at the border. 237 00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:56,809 No offense, you look like a total drug dealer. 238 00:13:57,019 --> 00:13:59,687 - No shit. Thanks, dude. - You could wear a disguise. 239 00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:01,689 - What? - A disguise. 240 00:14:01,899 --> 00:14:03,566 That's what I thought. A disguise. 241 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,778 I dress up. What's the hot Halloween outfit these days? 242 00:14:06,987 --> 00:14:09,697 Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face? 243 00:14:09,907 --> 00:14:12,659 There's no drugs in here. You've got nothing to worry about. 244 00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:13,993 Great idea. 245 00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:18,414 Hey, pardon me. Hi. 246 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:23,252 Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck. 247 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,004 Fuck off, real-life Flanders. 248 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:30,343 It's my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet. 249 00:14:32,054 --> 00:14:33,805 Hey. No parking here, sir. 250 00:14:34,014 --> 00:14:35,515 Perfect. Fucking tourists. 251 00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:38,142 Jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer. 252 00:14:38,352 --> 00:14:40,269 I don't know which way is up around here. 253 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:43,106 No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes. 254 00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:44,857 Trying to find our way to the zoo. 255 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:48,903 It's two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks... 256 00:14:54,868 --> 00:14:55,952 Holy fucking shit. 257 00:14:57,871 --> 00:14:59,288 Thank you, dickheads. 258 00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:03,543 Hey little lady, don't you say maybe 259 00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:06,629 Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name. 260 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,214 Treat him nice. 261 00:15:08,424 --> 00:15:10,675 Baby, I'ma show you how to 262 00:15:10,884 --> 00:15:11,968 Yeah! 263 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,053 Hi. I'm Rose. 264 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:17,807 - Hi. Hi. - What...? Please. No. 265 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:20,059 - No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. - No, no, no, no. 266 00:15:20,269 --> 00:15:22,603 - Please. Listen to me. - Duh, duh, duh, duh. 267 00:15:23,063 --> 00:15:24,731 Ch-ch-ch-chuh. 268 00:15:27,943 --> 00:15:29,402 You asshole. 269 00:15:30,821 --> 00:15:33,489 Don't worry. You don't have to get naked and all that stuff. 270 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:37,035 Unless you want to, you know. Oof! 271 00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:38,494 - Fuck. - What do you want? 272 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,624 How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand? 273 00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:44,917 - What? - Rose, listen. 274 00:15:45,127 --> 00:15:47,837 All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me. 275 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:51,215 All right? And then we drive home together in an RV. 276 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,178 - And that RV has some pot in it. - Drug dealing? 277 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:58,139 No, it's not drug dealing. It's not. No, it's smuggling. 278 00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,516 - Are you out of your mind? - Rose, listen to me. 279 00:16:00,851 --> 00:16:05,438 Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right? 280 00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:07,732 But families, they don't get a second look. 281 00:16:07,941 --> 00:16:10,818 So, Rose, I need you to be my wife. 282 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,988 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 283 00:16:14,198 --> 00:16:17,742 Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight's already paid for. 284 00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:19,285 You can't buy me. 285 00:16:19,495 --> 00:16:22,455 I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you. 286 00:16:23,999 --> 00:16:25,083 Like Pretty Woman. 287 00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,127 Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute. 288 00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:30,004 And I don't trust you. 289 00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:37,261 - What did she say? - What the fuck do you think? She said no. 290 00:16:37,471 --> 00:16:41,432 Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico. 291 00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:45,561 Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics. 292 00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:47,980 No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl. 293 00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:51,776 And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked. 294 00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:54,570 I know a girl. 295 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,368 I don't get it. What's in it for me? 296 00:17:00,577 --> 00:17:04,789 I'm thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That'd be good enough. 297 00:17:04,998 --> 00:17:06,249 I'm thinking 1000. 298 00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,794 Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it. 299 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:14,215 Great. And if we get caught I'll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool? 300 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,344 Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine. But that's it. 301 00:17:18,887 --> 00:17:20,888 Kenny, meet your new sister. 302 00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:23,891 This is great. I've always wanted a sister. 303 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,564 - Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! - Hey, come on. Let go. 304 00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:32,483 - Come on. We gotta clean you up. - What's wrong with you? 305 00:17:32,693 --> 00:17:35,403 - Don't say that. - I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. 306 00:17:35,612 --> 00:17:36,737 Wild child 307 00:17:36,947 --> 00:17:38,489 Boner Garage! 308 00:17:38,699 --> 00:17:41,242 Going all out Going for broke 309 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,705 Great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you. 310 00:17:45,914 --> 00:17:49,125 I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes... 311 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:52,128 - ... that we have here at the club. - Like what? 312 00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:55,673 Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money. 313 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,677 What? That's totally illegal, Todd. 314 00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:01,387 Come on, what are you gonna do? 315 00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:06,184 I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street. 316 00:18:06,393 --> 00:18:07,810 You mean the Apple Store? 317 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,478 Yeah, and they're killing us. 318 00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,897 God. 319 00:18:11,106 --> 00:18:14,066 That's it. I can't do it. I quit. 320 00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:15,985 Did you hear the good news? 321 00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,446 Now we get to fuck the customers for money. 322 00:18:18,739 --> 00:18:21,157 - Wha...? - Boner Garage loves it. 323 00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:25,453 I'm out of here. I am out of here. I quit. 324 00:18:35,672 --> 00:18:38,466 Fuck. 325 00:19:01,365 --> 00:19:04,659 So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair cut. 326 00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:06,369 Being homeless and all... 327 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:10,206 I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home. But I left because my parent... 328 00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:14,669 Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to hear your hard-luck backstory right now. 329 00:19:14,878 --> 00:19:19,465 I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven't watched the thing. 330 00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:20,758 Here. You know what? 331 00:19:20,968 --> 00:19:24,303 Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes. 332 00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:27,807 You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage. 333 00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:29,558 All right? Thank you. 334 00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:30,935 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. 335 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,689 You're fine. You already like a total dipshit. 336 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:39,026 Here. You're gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile. 337 00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:42,613 Go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal it. 338 00:19:42,823 --> 00:19:44,699 And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic. 339 00:19:45,242 --> 00:19:46,492 David Clark? 340 00:19:47,244 --> 00:19:49,495 Okay, what are we doing today? 341 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:52,665 Yeah, I say, give me something that says: 342 00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:57,044 "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job... 343 00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,839 where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... 344 00:20:00,048 --> 00:20:04,051 so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... 345 00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:06,262 and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... 346 00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:09,390 until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth." 347 00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:13,144 Right here. 348 00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:15,980 Yeah. That's it. That's the one. 349 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,345 All right. 350 00:20:59,983 --> 00:21:01,358 Get a full body check. 351 00:21:04,571 --> 00:21:06,655 Hi, you folks have everything you need? 352 00:21:07,074 --> 00:21:08,282 You betcha! 353 00:21:08,492 --> 00:21:12,536 Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma? 354 00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:14,872 Well, you have a lovely family. 355 00:21:15,082 --> 00:21:18,375 Thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here. 356 00:21:18,585 --> 00:21:20,920 - And my lovely daughter... - Casey? 357 00:21:21,129 --> 00:21:24,215 Casey. Casey Miller, that's right. And I'm David Miller. 358 00:21:24,424 --> 00:21:25,466 We're the Millers. 359 00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:29,512 Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers. 360 00:21:29,971 --> 00:21:33,516 Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues like: 361 00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:36,352 Finals and college applications... 362 00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,854 and am I gonna get asked to prom. 363 00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,565 Plus, I haven't gotten my period in two months... 364 00:21:41,858 --> 00:21:44,777 which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal. 365 00:21:46,446 --> 00:21:49,365 Ha-ha-ha! That's enough. 366 00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:53,577 Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie." 367 00:21:54,454 --> 00:21:56,122 Take your seats, please. 368 00:21:58,375 --> 00:21:59,500 You fucking kidding me? 369 00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:01,669 I'm good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks. 370 00:22:01,878 --> 00:22:03,796 Thank you. Sorry. 371 00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:08,425 - Honey! Hi! You made it! Eat a dick. 372 00:22:08,635 --> 00:22:10,136 Sorry, sorry. Okay. 373 00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:13,639 - Wow, you look really, like... - Don't. Just don't, all right? 374 00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:15,057 Hi, Mom. 375 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,433 - Jesus. 376 00:22:17,060 --> 00:22:18,602 And who's that? 377 00:22:18,812 --> 00:22:21,605 Well, that's your daughter. Casey. 378 00:22:22,107 --> 00:22:23,149 Hey. 379 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:26,152 I want 30,000 now. 380 00:22:26,695 --> 00:22:28,988 - No fucking way. - Okay. Have a safe flight. 381 00:22:29,197 --> 00:22:33,159 What? No. Okay. Fine! Fine. Bloodsucker. 382 00:22:33,368 --> 00:22:37,288 All right, happy wife, happy life. Hi, kids! 383 00:22:38,582 --> 00:22:40,791 - Make room for your mother. - Okay. 384 00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:45,212 - Hey! - Whoa! No, I didn't...! 385 00:22:45,422 --> 00:22:48,382 What the fuck? Don't you ever think that you can ever... 386 00:22:48,592 --> 00:22:50,885 Family meeting. Let's go. Get in the back. Go. 387 00:22:51,094 --> 00:22:52,803 - I didn't mean to. - I don't care. 388 00:22:53,013 --> 00:22:57,057 - He just hit me in the fucking face. - Will you march? No one wants to hear... 389 00:22:59,769 --> 00:23:01,687 What the fuck? Are you kidding me? 390 00:23:01,938 --> 00:23:04,315 Come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus. 391 00:23:04,524 --> 00:23:07,067 We're not at the border. Who cares what they think? 392 00:23:07,277 --> 00:23:10,196 It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo. 393 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,698 Hey! Don't talk to her like that. 394 00:23:12,908 --> 00:23:15,910 Rose, relax, okay? The only thing you need to worry about... 395 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,829 is making them think you could be someone's mother. Okay? 396 00:23:19,039 --> 00:23:21,415 Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep. 397 00:23:21,625 --> 00:23:22,958 Excuse me. 398 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:28,672 Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. 399 00:23:28,965 --> 00:23:31,425 May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. 400 00:23:31,635 --> 00:23:34,762 May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... 401 00:23:34,971 --> 00:23:38,057 over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. 402 00:23:38,475 --> 00:23:42,102 And may this entire airplane find safe passage... 403 00:23:42,312 --> 00:23:44,355 and a bountiful life. 404 00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:46,232 Even the Jews. 405 00:23:47,609 --> 00:23:49,068 - Amen. - That was a good one. 406 00:23:49,277 --> 00:23:50,736 That was beautiful. 407 00:23:50,946 --> 00:23:53,239 I wish my family was more like that. 408 00:23:53,448 --> 00:23:55,115 Stop. Don't. 409 00:23:55,325 --> 00:23:58,744 No, no, no. Come on. Come in here. Hug it out. Don't you cry. 410 00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:00,079 Aw, honey. 411 00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:02,414 Fuck you. 412 00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,458 All better now? Okay. 413 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:08,796 And don't forget you can use Chex Mix as a surprise casserole topping. 414 00:24:09,005 --> 00:24:10,798 Adds that real special crunch. 415 00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:12,883 - Wow, what a great tip. - Sure! 416 00:24:13,093 --> 00:24:14,218 Bye-bye. 417 00:24:15,095 --> 00:24:17,137 Holy shit, where did that come from? 418 00:24:17,347 --> 00:24:20,182 It's five summers with my Aunt Barb in Oklahoma. 419 00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:21,475 That was amazing. 420 00:24:21,685 --> 00:24:23,435 Calm down. It wasn't that great. 421 00:24:23,645 --> 00:24:27,189 Goddamn it. Brad said the RV was supposed to be out here waiting for us. 422 00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,400 Anybody sees a camper, just let me know. 423 00:24:30,026 --> 00:24:31,068 Whoa. 424 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,747 What the fuck is this? 425 00:24:43,957 --> 00:24:45,082 This thing is ridiculous. 426 00:24:47,002 --> 00:24:48,627 - Can you drive this? - I don't know. 427 00:24:48,837 --> 00:24:50,212 How fast does it go? 428 00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,913 Why the hell are you reading that thing? 429 00:25:26,916 --> 00:25:29,752 Because I like it. It's fun. 430 00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,253 It's informative. 431 00:25:31,463 --> 00:25:33,380 "It's fun." That's your idea of fun? 432 00:25:33,590 --> 00:25:36,216 I have a VCR manual from the '90s you should check out. 433 00:25:36,426 --> 00:25:39,178 - I think you'd probably enjoy that. - Fireworks! 434 00:25:39,387 --> 00:25:40,929 My God, guys, look! 435 00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:43,724 Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks! Pull over! There's fireworks! 436 00:25:43,933 --> 00:25:45,559 We're not pulling over for fireworks. 437 00:25:45,769 --> 00:25:48,145 - Stern. - What? It's Fourth of July weekend. 438 00:25:48,355 --> 00:25:50,314 Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over! 439 00:25:50,523 --> 00:25:51,774 No. Absolutely not. 440 00:25:52,025 --> 00:25:53,650 Come on, I vote fireworks too. 441 00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:56,820 See? Even this loser wants fireworks. Fireworks! 442 00:25:57,030 --> 00:25:59,365 - Fireworks! Fireworks! - The kids wanna see fireworks. 443 00:25:59,574 --> 00:26:01,367 Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks! 444 00:26:01,576 --> 00:26:02,701 Okay, enough! 445 00:26:06,039 --> 00:26:09,625 Enough! Let's get something straight right now! 446 00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:11,752 You are not my kids! Okay? 447 00:26:12,170 --> 00:26:14,505 You are not my wife! And we are not a family! 448 00:26:14,714 --> 00:26:16,131 All right? This is a job! 449 00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:17,883 We are not the Brady Bunch! 450 00:26:18,093 --> 00:26:20,803 I'm Marky Mark and y'all are the Funky Bunch! 451 00:26:21,721 --> 00:26:24,390 - The what? - I'm the boss. You hear me? 452 00:26:24,682 --> 00:26:29,520 So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn this RV around immediately! 453 00:26:29,813 --> 00:26:33,357 And we will drive straight home. No drugs for anyone! 454 00:26:33,817 --> 00:26:34,900 This vacation sucks. 455 00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:36,485 You... 456 00:26:36,986 --> 00:26:38,529 It is not a vacation! 457 00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:48,455 There we go. You fucking happy? Come on. 458 00:26:59,676 --> 00:27:02,052 Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right? 459 00:27:03,138 --> 00:27:04,346 Hey there! 460 00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:07,808 You got the Miller family here, reporting for leisure, sir. 461 00:27:08,017 --> 00:27:10,269 We're just heading down to México way to do a... 462 00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:16,733 Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care, now. All right. 463 00:27:17,819 --> 00:27:22,364 Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend. 464 00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:25,284 Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico. 465 00:27:31,332 --> 00:27:32,374 What is this? 466 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:34,251 - A meth lab? - It's Mexico, Casey. 467 00:27:34,461 --> 00:27:36,211 That's a donkey, donkey, donkey. 468 00:27:36,671 --> 00:27:39,965 - This RV blends right in, David. - Will you calm down? 469 00:27:40,258 --> 00:27:43,260 This thing is ginormous. I mean, it's ridiculous. 470 00:27:50,101 --> 00:27:52,227 You have arrived at your destination. 471 00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:54,354 The route guidance is now finished. 472 00:27:54,564 --> 00:27:56,565 Are you sure these guys are expecting you? 473 00:27:56,774 --> 00:27:58,484 Rose, we're good. All right? 474 00:27:58,693 --> 00:28:02,029 Now will you calm down? These are Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about. 475 00:28:02,238 --> 00:28:03,822 Open Sesame. Here we go. 476 00:28:04,407 --> 00:28:05,574 Hey! 477 00:28:06,326 --> 00:28:08,285 Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba. 478 00:28:09,162 --> 00:28:11,997 Is that a little football over there? That's fun. Soccer. 479 00:28:12,207 --> 00:28:13,707 Kids are a good sign, I guess. 480 00:28:17,962 --> 00:28:21,507 - Hey there. - What is this place? 481 00:28:21,716 --> 00:28:24,843 Will you look at this? It's a cute little drug-dealing community. 482 00:28:25,053 --> 00:28:26,678 They probably sell churros. 483 00:28:27,722 --> 00:28:29,348 Will you relax? 484 00:28:29,557 --> 00:28:31,725 It's fine. We're totally fine. 485 00:28:31,976 --> 00:28:36,104 I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase or something and we'll be on our way. 486 00:28:36,314 --> 00:28:39,858 Hi. Now come on. See, it's the welcome wagon. 487 00:28:40,068 --> 00:28:41,318 Let me go talk to this guy. 488 00:28:42,278 --> 00:28:45,989 Hola. Ho/a, big man, me llamo David. 489 00:28:46,199 --> 00:28:48,492 Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger. 490 00:28:50,578 --> 00:28:51,703 He's got a gun. 491 00:28:51,913 --> 00:28:54,122 - God. - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey! 492 00:28:54,332 --> 00:28:57,793 - God. - Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon! 493 00:28:58,002 --> 00:28:59,336 Pablo Chacon? 494 00:29:01,756 --> 00:29:04,258 Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 495 00:29:04,467 --> 00:29:06,802 You are the White Gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 496 00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:08,804 Yeah. Sí. 497 00:29:09,013 --> 00:29:12,599 Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o. Very, very gringo. Yeah. 498 00:29:12,809 --> 00:29:16,645 - Who are they? - Um, that's my "family." 499 00:29:16,854 --> 00:29:19,022 You know, mi familia. 500 00:29:19,232 --> 00:29:22,276 You know, helping me out here with the deal. Yeah. 501 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,071 Yeah. 502 00:29:26,281 --> 00:29:28,699 Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either. 503 00:29:30,159 --> 00:29:31,743 Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ. 504 00:29:33,830 --> 00:29:35,539 Come! Drugs now. 505 00:29:35,748 --> 00:29:37,541 - Okay, great. - What? 506 00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,376 That's great. Let's do it. Okay. 507 00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:44,464 All right, big fella, where's the smidge of weed everyone's talking about? 508 00:29:56,185 --> 00:29:58,937 - This is a little more than a smidge. - Dear. 509 00:29:59,147 --> 00:30:00,814 Calm down. Okay? We're gonna be fine. 510 00:30:01,024 --> 00:30:02,441 Yeah, sure, right. 511 00:30:02,650 --> 00:30:05,569 All we're doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana... 512 00:30:05,778 --> 00:30:09,072 across an international border in a rented motor home! 513 00:30:09,574 --> 00:30:12,326 I don't see what could possibly go wrong! 514 00:30:15,538 --> 00:30:18,206 Okay, I'm gonna make a phone call real quick. 515 00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:20,959 Kenny, watch the pot. 516 00:30:37,727 --> 00:30:40,395 - Go for B-Rad. - Hey, Brad, what the fuck? 517 00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:41,647 Something wrong? 518 00:30:41,856 --> 00:30:44,608 Yeah! Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. Okay? 519 00:30:44,817 --> 00:30:46,109 You said "a smidge of pot." 520 00:30:46,319 --> 00:30:47,861 This is not a smidge. 521 00:30:48,071 --> 00:30:49,488 - Smidge and a half? No? - No. 522 00:30:49,697 --> 00:30:52,908 You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man! 523 00:30:53,951 --> 00:30:57,996 Okay? They're using a goddamn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak! 524 00:30:58,206 --> 00:31:01,958 You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like: 525 00:31:02,377 --> 00:31:03,877 - "No problem!" - Wait a minute. 526 00:31:04,087 --> 00:31:07,130 Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right? 527 00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:08,382 Relax! 528 00:31:08,591 --> 00:31:12,511 Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border. 529 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,472 He'll let you breeze through, I'll see you in the morning! 530 00:31:15,682 --> 00:31:16,973 I'll even buy you brunch. 531 00:31:17,183 --> 00:31:18,308 Fuck you, Brad. 532 00:31:18,518 --> 00:31:20,310 That's the David I love! 533 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,021 Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this! 534 00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:25,023 Ha, ha! I'll see you soon, my little drug mule! 535 00:31:25,233 --> 00:31:26,650 Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw... 536 00:31:28,111 --> 00:31:29,152 Shit! 537 00:31:33,825 --> 00:31:36,159 No. Thank you. I'm good. 538 00:31:37,829 --> 00:31:39,246 You reject my mother's gift? 539 00:31:40,623 --> 00:31:43,333 I mean, I don't know whether I'd put it in those terms. 540 00:31:43,543 --> 00:31:45,544 - Shut up and take the fruit. - Right. Got it. 541 00:31:45,753 --> 00:31:46,878 Thank you, ma'am. 542 00:31:47,088 --> 00:31:48,922 - You wanna get us killed? - What? 543 00:31:49,674 --> 00:31:50,841 Namaste. 544 00:31:59,225 --> 00:32:00,308 Whoa. 545 00:32:00,518 --> 00:32:02,686 I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge. 546 00:32:02,937 --> 00:32:04,271 At least it keeps it fresh. 547 00:32:05,231 --> 00:32:08,859 Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV... 548 00:32:09,068 --> 00:32:11,903 looks through a window, or weighs us... 549 00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:15,574 - ... we should be pretty good. - We'll be fine. 550 00:32:16,117 --> 00:32:17,659 We're totally fucked. 551 00:32:35,052 --> 00:32:36,803 Aw, shit. What the hell is this? 552 00:32:37,013 --> 00:32:39,514 - What's it look like? It's a cop, genius. - Be cool. 553 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:43,310 - Remember we're the Millers. Okay. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. 554 00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:46,897 - Buenos días, officer. - Hola. 555 00:32:47,106 --> 00:32:49,858 I'm sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws. 556 00:32:50,067 --> 00:32:53,320 You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and... 557 00:32:53,529 --> 00:32:55,530 - Cut the shit. - I'm sorry? 558 00:32:55,740 --> 00:32:58,283 I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound. 559 00:32:58,493 --> 00:33:01,495 And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I'd find. 560 00:33:01,704 --> 00:33:03,705 Much prison time for such things. 561 00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,207 Yeah. Yeah. 562 00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:07,667 But I don't feel like arresting anybody... 563 00:33:07,877 --> 00:33:11,171 so I'll just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way. 564 00:33:13,674 --> 00:33:15,509 Well, all right. Ha, ha. 565 00:33:15,968 --> 00:33:19,179 This is what I'm talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200? 566 00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:21,640 - One thousand. - A thousand? 567 00:33:21,849 --> 00:33:24,559 What, are you buying a house down here? 568 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:29,356 It's a lot. Um, we don't have that sort of cash on us right now. 569 00:33:31,567 --> 00:33:33,443 You see, that's gonna be a problem. 570 00:33:33,653 --> 00:33:34,778 Yeah, yeah. 571 00:33:34,987 --> 00:33:38,365 Maybe you can offer me something else. Say... 572 00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:41,743 something a little more personal? 573 00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:49,543 I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick. 574 00:33:50,878 --> 00:33:52,879 Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything. 575 00:33:53,089 --> 00:33:54,840 Come on. Will you be a team player? 576 00:33:55,049 --> 00:33:57,676 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Will you stop being selfish? 577 00:33:57,885 --> 00:34:00,178 Please, please, señora. No need to be alarmed. 578 00:34:00,888 --> 00:34:05,684 See, I'm, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men. 579 00:34:09,772 --> 00:34:12,148 - David, suck his dick. - Rose. 580 00:34:12,358 --> 00:34:14,860 Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls. 581 00:34:16,654 --> 00:34:19,656 Come on, David. Be a team player. You're gonna have fun. 582 00:34:21,409 --> 00:34:23,076 Um... 583 00:34:23,703 --> 00:34:26,454 Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy. 584 00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:29,749 Okay, so what's the plan? 585 00:34:29,959 --> 00:34:32,752 Go up there and pretend to and then you're gonna jump him? 586 00:34:32,962 --> 00:34:34,212 The plan is, um... 587 00:34:34,422 --> 00:34:35,672 Here. Come here, come here. 588 00:34:36,048 --> 00:34:39,092 Okay, um, let's see. You, you're this bottle cap. 589 00:34:39,302 --> 00:34:42,095 Right? And I am this cigarette butt. 590 00:34:42,305 --> 00:34:46,016 Okay, that's us. All right? Okay? He's over there, right by this, that bush. 591 00:34:46,225 --> 00:34:47,434 We'll make him the pebble. 592 00:34:47,643 --> 00:34:51,313 You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there. 593 00:34:51,522 --> 00:34:53,565 You suck his dick, and we get outta here. 594 00:34:53,774 --> 00:34:56,276 - Okay? Bring it in, on three. - What? No! 595 00:34:56,485 --> 00:34:58,153 What do you mean no? What's wrong? 596 00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:01,031 - Well, I'm not gay. - Are you sure? 597 00:35:02,116 --> 00:35:04,117 I mean, you never really know until you know. 598 00:35:04,327 --> 00:35:06,703 - No. I'm not gay. - Okay. All right. Calm down. 599 00:35:06,913 --> 00:35:10,916 Look, this gay panic situation you're having now, it's coming off a little homophobic. 600 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,835 What, because I don't want a penis in my mouth? 601 00:35:14,045 --> 00:35:16,463 Exactly. It's exactly what homophobic means. 602 00:35:16,672 --> 00:35:20,258 Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick. 603 00:35:20,676 --> 00:35:22,010 Any girl's dick you want. 604 00:35:22,219 --> 00:35:24,971 - I'm not sure I agree with that logic. - Look, listen to me. 605 00:35:25,932 --> 00:35:28,600 - What is he saying to him? - I have no idea. 606 00:35:28,809 --> 00:35:30,810 All right? Just listen to me. All right? 607 00:35:31,020 --> 00:35:32,145 Come on, man. 608 00:35:32,355 --> 00:35:34,731 This is your chance to be the hero. 609 00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:38,276 - I don't know, David. - Don't do it for me. 610 00:35:38,486 --> 00:35:41,863 Don't even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey. 611 00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:45,116 Because, believe me, they won't last two days in a Mexican prison. 612 00:35:47,662 --> 00:35:49,245 - Okay. - Attaboy! 613 00:35:50,498 --> 00:35:52,540 - I'll do it for the girls. - I'm proud of you. 614 00:35:53,459 --> 00:35:55,502 Hey. What's going on? 615 00:35:55,711 --> 00:35:58,254 Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos? 616 00:35:58,464 --> 00:36:00,006 No, he's gonna w... 617 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,218 - "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so? A thousand. 618 00:36:03,427 --> 00:36:06,513 Well, that's like, what, 80 bucks American? 619 00:36:06,722 --> 00:36:09,015 Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change. 620 00:36:16,273 --> 00:36:19,484 Can't believe you were gonna suck that guy's dick. Come on, let's go. 621 00:36:30,830 --> 00:36:34,124 All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes... 622 00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:36,084 and prepare for vehicle inspection. 623 00:36:39,088 --> 00:36:40,422 Okay, here we go. This is it. 624 00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:42,048 Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry. 625 00:36:42,550 --> 00:36:45,051 You said the guard was just gonna wave us through. 626 00:36:45,261 --> 00:36:48,680 He will. But let's look the part so the others don't get suspicious. 627 00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:57,147 What the fuck does this guy want? 628 00:36:57,356 --> 00:36:59,065 I don't know. But he's honking. 629 00:36:59,859 --> 00:37:02,360 - Hi! - Just ignore them. 630 00:37:02,737 --> 00:37:07,115 Okay, he's really honking and it's making a huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi. 631 00:37:07,366 --> 00:37:08,867 My God. I don't wanna say hi. 632 00:37:09,076 --> 00:37:11,327 They're just waving. If we just wave, he'll stop. 633 00:37:11,537 --> 00:37:13,246 Fine. I'll say hi. Fine. 634 00:37:14,081 --> 00:37:15,123 - Hi! - Hi! 635 00:37:15,332 --> 00:37:18,376 Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there, amigo. 636 00:37:18,586 --> 00:37:22,714 That is quite a rig you guys have there too. 637 00:37:22,923 --> 00:37:25,383 Well, thank you very kindly. We do love her. 638 00:37:25,593 --> 00:37:28,762 We don't take her out as often as we used to when our girl was small. 639 00:37:29,096 --> 00:37:33,725 It can be such a bear to carve out quality family time but you gotta do it, don't you? 640 00:37:34,060 --> 00:37:36,019 Yeah, David and Rose Miller here. 641 00:37:37,563 --> 00:37:41,232 This is my daughter, Casey, right here. And my son, Kenny. 642 00:37:42,068 --> 00:37:44,778 - How handsome. - Pleased to make your acquaintance. 643 00:37:44,987 --> 00:37:47,655 Don Fitzgerald, my smoldering wife, Edith... 644 00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:49,657 and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa. 645 00:38:00,628 --> 00:38:02,462 Lane one, please pull forward. 646 00:38:02,671 --> 00:38:05,090 Sir. Sir, please pull forward. 647 00:38:08,344 --> 00:38:09,636 I got a joint here. 648 00:38:10,679 --> 00:38:12,764 - Shut down lane one. - It's medicinal. 649 00:38:12,973 --> 00:38:14,432 - What'd he say? - He has a joint. 650 00:38:14,642 --> 00:38:16,059 That's it? 651 00:38:19,271 --> 00:38:20,313 - Hide it. - Okay. 652 00:38:20,523 --> 00:38:22,273 Get rid of it! My God! 653 00:38:22,483 --> 00:38:23,900 Holy shit. 654 00:38:24,443 --> 00:38:26,277 - That was so close. - You have a baby! 655 00:38:26,779 --> 00:38:29,405 I love babies! 656 00:38:29,615 --> 00:38:32,200 Look at that gorgeous little bundle of joy! 657 00:38:32,409 --> 00:38:34,536 What's that beautiful little baby's name? 658 00:38:35,287 --> 00:38:38,456 - This is our little... - LeBron. 659 00:38:38,791 --> 00:38:40,416 - Name's LeBron. - Yup. 660 00:38:40,626 --> 00:38:42,919 A little French fella. 661 00:38:43,129 --> 00:38:44,170 It's our little LeBron. 662 00:38:44,380 --> 00:38:47,841 I was against the name at first, but the missus has a real soft spot... 663 00:38:48,050 --> 00:38:50,093 for prima donnas who'll never be as good as Jordan. 664 00:38:50,302 --> 00:38:51,845 I can't see the face. 665 00:38:52,513 --> 00:38:56,432 - I'm dying to see his face. - Sir, pull forward to lane two. 666 00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:59,894 - Fuck! Okay, put on the hats. - You gotta pull over. 667 00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:02,522 - Here we go. - Great. 668 00:39:04,024 --> 00:39:06,734 - My God, I feel like a fucking idiot. - That's the idea. 669 00:39:06,944 --> 00:39:11,322 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile and follow my lead, all right? 670 00:39:11,532 --> 00:39:14,409 I'm gonna take us to the promised land. Here we go. Here we go. 671 00:39:16,537 --> 00:39:17,912 Steady. 672 00:39:18,539 --> 00:39:20,623 - Steady. - Shit. 673 00:39:26,922 --> 00:39:28,715 Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one. 674 00:39:28,924 --> 00:39:34,053 Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem. 675 00:39:35,931 --> 00:39:38,349 You bringing anything into the United States, sir? 676 00:39:38,559 --> 00:39:39,767 Yuh... 677 00:39:40,436 --> 00:39:42,979 Sir, are you bringing any contraband back into the United States? 678 00:39:43,189 --> 00:39:44,230 Um... 679 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:45,648 - Sir? - David! 680 00:39:50,196 --> 00:39:52,947 Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the vehicle, please. 681 00:39:53,991 --> 00:39:56,284 - But... - Sir, is that actually necessary? 682 00:39:56,493 --> 00:39:58,620 I mean, these kids are pooped and we've just... 683 00:39:58,829 --> 00:40:01,706 I need everybody out of this recreational vehicle immediately. 684 00:40:01,916 --> 00:40:04,542 - I'll just put the baby down. - We'll put the baby away. 685 00:40:04,752 --> 00:40:09,839 Bring the child, pull over to the secondary inspection area and exit the vehicle now! 686 00:40:10,883 --> 00:40:12,383 - Okay. - Good. 687 00:40:16,013 --> 00:40:17,263 It's okay. It's all right. 688 00:40:17,514 --> 00:40:19,349 It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy. 689 00:40:20,142 --> 00:40:21,392 Stand down. 690 00:40:22,478 --> 00:40:24,479 All right. It's okay. 691 00:40:25,481 --> 00:40:29,025 Before I search the vehicle, is there anything you wanna tell me about? 692 00:40:29,235 --> 00:40:30,777 Because after I open that door... 693 00:40:31,612 --> 00:40:32,862 I can't help you. 694 00:40:38,661 --> 00:40:42,163 Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle top to bottom. 695 00:40:42,873 --> 00:40:43,915 All right. 696 00:40:46,961 --> 00:40:48,086 We got runners! 697 00:40:53,342 --> 00:40:55,093 We got runners! 698 00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:58,596 Sorry to inconvenience you, folks. This happens a lot. 699 00:40:58,806 --> 00:41:00,181 You have a nice day. 700 00:41:05,729 --> 00:41:07,855 Go. Go, go! 701 00:41:24,331 --> 00:41:26,374 Well, that was fucking easy! 702 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,419 - My God. - God! 703 00:41:29,628 --> 00:41:30,670 Whoo! We did it! 704 00:41:30,963 --> 00:41:34,424 Nicely done, Millers! Give it up! Very good job. Here you go. 705 00:41:34,633 --> 00:41:37,218 Rose! Yeah! David! There you go! 706 00:41:37,428 --> 00:41:41,889 We are all officially international drug smugglers. Add it to the résumé. 707 00:41:42,099 --> 00:41:44,934 Ha, ha. How about a little victory music? 708 00:41:49,273 --> 00:41:50,356 No, no, no. 709 00:41:50,566 --> 00:41:52,817 - Don't change it. I love this song. - Me too. 710 00:41:53,027 --> 00:41:55,528 What? I didn't even like this song when it was popular. 711 00:41:55,738 --> 00:41:57,155 Come on, loosen up, David. 712 00:41:59,616 --> 00:42:01,826 Please stick to the rivers 713 00:42:02,036 --> 00:42:04,203 And the lakes that you're used to 714 00:42:04,413 --> 00:42:05,455 Don't do this. 715 00:42:05,664 --> 00:42:09,042 What? This isn't even a good victory song. 716 00:42:09,251 --> 00:42:11,252 No, stop. We are not doing this. 717 00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:14,589 This is embarrassing. Stop. 718 00:42:15,883 --> 00:42:17,133 Come on. 719 00:42:18,218 --> 00:42:21,429 I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone 720 00:42:21,638 --> 00:42:23,806 Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray 721 00:42:24,016 --> 00:42:25,058 What the fuck? 722 00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:29,020 I pray all 10 fade away Seldom praise him for the sunny days 723 00:42:29,229 --> 00:42:31,105 You claim the insane And name this place in time 724 00:42:31,315 --> 00:42:34,692 For fallin' prey to crime, I swear The system got you victim to your own mind 725 00:42:34,902 --> 00:42:37,904 Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin' true 726 00:42:38,113 --> 00:42:40,156 Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and 727 00:42:40,366 --> 00:42:43,076 Don't go chasin' waterfalls 728 00:42:43,285 --> 00:42:45,703 - Whoo! - Whoo, yeah, Kenny! 729 00:42:45,913 --> 00:42:47,455 Where did you learn to do that? 730 00:42:47,664 --> 00:42:49,123 Yeah, whatever. 731 00:43:13,232 --> 00:43:14,273 Señor Chacon. 732 00:43:16,235 --> 00:43:17,944 We were not expecting you. 733 00:43:18,153 --> 00:43:22,073 I decided to bring the gringo myself to make sure everything goes as planned. 734 00:43:22,282 --> 00:43:26,327 But the gringo has already left with the shipment, señor. 735 00:43:26,620 --> 00:43:27,703 What gringo? 736 00:43:27,913 --> 00:43:29,872 The gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 737 00:43:30,791 --> 00:43:33,126 You mean this gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 738 00:43:34,169 --> 00:43:35,420 I have failed you, señor. 739 00:43:35,629 --> 00:43:38,131 if you saw this gringo again would you recognize him? 740 00:43:38,507 --> 00:43:41,342 He was driving an RV with his family. 741 00:43:41,718 --> 00:43:43,094 Get in the car. 742 00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:07,118 How fast are you going? 743 00:44:08,078 --> 00:44:10,997 Calm down, I'm going the speed limit. We won't get pulled over. 744 00:44:11,206 --> 00:44:15,042 No, no. I mean, loaded down like this in a 15-ton vehicle... 745 00:44:15,252 --> 00:44:17,587 going up a 10 percent grade. 746 00:44:18,172 --> 00:44:22,300 Just use your head, David. I don't think you think things through. 747 00:44:22,509 --> 00:44:25,970 - What? - Weight distribution loading and towing. 748 00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:27,346 - See? - Yeah, I do. 749 00:44:27,556 --> 00:44:28,848 I thought this plan through. 750 00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:31,309 - Seems to be working out. - Great. 751 00:44:33,479 --> 00:44:34,896 Shit! 752 00:44:37,191 --> 00:44:38,941 Seriously. God...! 753 00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:48,493 Was this part of your plan, David? 754 00:44:48,702 --> 00:44:49,785 Damn it. 755 00:44:50,204 --> 00:44:52,997 - Wait, what are we gonna do now? - I don't kno... 756 00:44:53,207 --> 00:44:54,457 I can't even get a signal. 757 00:44:55,250 --> 00:44:57,919 No shit. We're in the fucking middle of nowhere, dude. 758 00:44:58,128 --> 00:44:59,795 Gee, thank you, Casey. 759 00:45:00,005 --> 00:45:02,590 Thank you for your amazing problem solving skills. So helpful. 760 00:45:02,799 --> 00:45:04,050 Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? 761 00:45:04,259 --> 00:45:07,720 I'm not gonna stand on the side of the road next to an RV filled with pot. 762 00:45:07,930 --> 00:45:09,222 I'm gonna try to find help. 763 00:45:09,431 --> 00:45:12,600 - Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye. - What? 764 00:45:12,809 --> 00:45:15,436 - Wait up! - Ridiculous! 765 00:45:16,063 --> 00:45:19,649 Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay, hurry back though, please. 766 00:45:19,858 --> 00:45:23,319 "I have a plan." Really? Good plan. You don't have any plans. 767 00:45:25,948 --> 00:45:27,240 Women, am I right? 768 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:29,951 Shut the fuck up, Kenny. 769 00:45:32,204 --> 00:45:35,831 And he's so smug. He drives me crazy. 770 00:45:36,041 --> 00:45:37,333 Well, yeah, he's an idiot. 771 00:45:37,543 --> 00:45:39,919 No, he's not an idiot. He's actually kind of smart. 772 00:45:40,128 --> 00:45:41,337 Why are you defending him? 773 00:45:41,547 --> 00:45:43,756 I'm not defending him. I'm just saying that he... 774 00:45:43,966 --> 00:45:47,718 Have you seen where we are? This whole plan is so stupid. 775 00:45:47,928 --> 00:45:49,053 Really? 776 00:45:49,263 --> 00:45:52,557 What golden advice did you follow that ended with you on the streets? 777 00:45:52,766 --> 00:45:56,060 I don't live on the streets, okay? I crash with friends. 778 00:45:56,270 --> 00:45:58,354 Okay. I see. 779 00:45:58,564 --> 00:46:01,315 So you were kind of between couches when David and Kenny found you. 780 00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:03,651 Are you gonna lecture me? Seriously, I'll puke. 781 00:46:03,860 --> 00:46:05,570 You know what, I'm not lecturing you. 782 00:46:05,779 --> 00:46:08,406 Okay, good. Because I don't need advice from a stripper. 783 00:46:08,615 --> 00:46:10,199 All right, you know what you little shit? I swear... 784 00:46:11,785 --> 00:46:13,202 What the hell is this? 785 00:46:14,580 --> 00:46:17,373 Well, look at this cute little couple of hitchhikers. 786 00:46:17,583 --> 00:46:19,000 We're here to save your bacon. 787 00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:21,669 Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha! 788 00:46:21,878 --> 00:46:23,879 Hey. Hi, what's going on? 789 00:46:24,089 --> 00:46:27,675 They pulled up right after you guys left. They're gonna tow us to a mechanic. 790 00:46:27,884 --> 00:46:29,802 They keeping asking to hold the weed baby. 791 00:46:30,012 --> 00:46:32,346 All right, all right, calm down. Okay. 792 00:46:32,556 --> 00:46:36,017 Just calm down, all right? I got this. Watch. 793 00:46:37,019 --> 00:46:38,853 I'm holding that baby. 794 00:46:39,062 --> 00:46:42,189 Edie, you will, I promise, but it's nap time for LeBron. 795 00:46:42,399 --> 00:46:43,482 Come on, guys, let's go. 796 00:46:43,692 --> 00:46:46,819 All aboard the Fitzgerald Express. Honk, honk! 797 00:46:47,029 --> 00:46:49,488 Ha-ha-ha! - Toot, toot! 798 00:46:50,532 --> 00:46:52,992 It's like we're pretending it's a train, but it's not. 799 00:47:00,459 --> 00:47:01,959 - Surrounded by goblins. - Okay. 800 00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:06,172 One more sec, okay? Hold on, one second. Don't freak. 801 00:47:06,381 --> 00:47:08,049 When you're a synchronized swimmer... 802 00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:10,509 you can't use a maxi pad, you can see it. 803 00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:12,553 So my friend bought me a box of tampins. 804 00:47:12,763 --> 00:47:15,264 And I'll tell you, I had a hard time inserting those. 805 00:47:15,474 --> 00:47:17,558 - It would just stick halfway out. 806 00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:19,560 - It was just like a Roman candle. 807 00:47:19,853 --> 00:47:22,980 And that is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina. 808 00:47:24,775 --> 00:47:28,986 - That was such a detailed story, Edie. - Thank you! 809 00:47:29,196 --> 00:47:33,866 You gotta do a one-woman show. It's, like, so many layers, you know? 810 00:47:34,910 --> 00:47:37,119 So, what's your story, David? 811 00:47:37,329 --> 00:47:39,163 - What do you mean? - How'd you two meet? 812 00:47:39,373 --> 00:47:41,916 Honey, tell her. 813 00:47:42,125 --> 00:47:44,669 And don't leave out any of the romantic parts. 814 00:47:45,045 --> 00:47:46,337 Okay. All right. 815 00:47:46,546 --> 00:47:48,673 Where did we first meet. Um... 816 00:47:48,882 --> 00:47:50,216 It's great. 817 00:47:50,425 --> 00:47:54,053 Well, that would have been when Rose moved into my apartment building. 818 00:47:54,262 --> 00:47:56,097 - That's right. 819 00:47:57,724 --> 00:48:00,851 I remember watching her through the crack in my door as she was... 820 00:48:01,061 --> 00:48:02,353 Wait, you were spying on me? 821 00:48:02,562 --> 00:48:05,314 Now, hon, just because you've heard it a thousand times... 822 00:48:05,524 --> 00:48:07,692 doesn't mean you should interrupt. Don't be rude. 823 00:48:08,276 --> 00:48:10,444 All right. Proceed. 824 00:48:11,279 --> 00:48:12,822 But, yeah, I was spying on her. 825 00:48:13,031 --> 00:48:15,366 She was unloading this U-Haul all by herself. 826 00:48:15,826 --> 00:48:19,912 I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come off like I'm hitting on her, because... 827 00:48:20,497 --> 00:48:23,332 you know, I'd like to hit on her maybe at some point. 828 00:48:24,543 --> 00:48:26,711 And... 829 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:32,299 she was wearing these little navy blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts. 830 00:48:32,509 --> 00:48:35,010 No pockets on the back, however that happened. 831 00:48:35,220 --> 00:48:38,472 And this, Tom Waits T-shirt. 832 00:48:38,682 --> 00:48:40,391 I was like, "That's cool." 833 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,101 Because I love Tom Waits. 834 00:48:42,310 --> 00:48:44,228 And she just looked beautiful. 835 00:48:49,276 --> 00:48:51,444 if you're into that kind of mean, pretty thing. 836 00:48:53,989 --> 00:48:55,030 So, anyway... 837 00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:59,910 she starts to bring up this really big weird-looking painting up the stairs. 838 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,956 And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot." All right, so I go outside... 839 00:49:04,166 --> 00:49:07,460 and I help her with it. I'm trying to, at least. 840 00:49:07,669 --> 00:49:09,378 She looks at me and goes: "Stop it!" 841 00:49:09,588 --> 00:49:11,964 - She just snaps at me. - You started yanking at it. 842 00:49:12,174 --> 00:49:14,091 Next thing you know, it's a tug of war... 843 00:49:14,301 --> 00:49:16,510 pulling it back and forth and out of nowhere... 844 00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:19,847 His fat fist goes right through the canvas. 845 00:49:20,056 --> 00:49:23,225 - But it was an accident. - Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting. 846 00:49:23,435 --> 00:49:26,353 Okay. Honestly, I really think you should've thanked me. 847 00:49:26,563 --> 00:49:28,606 Yeah, because that painting was hideous. 848 00:49:30,192 --> 00:49:32,735 My grandfather painted that painting. 849 00:49:32,944 --> 00:49:35,738 And it was my favorite thing in the entire world. 850 00:49:37,157 --> 00:49:40,117 So we get in this screaming match in front of the whole building. 851 00:49:40,327 --> 00:49:42,620 And everybody comes out and is watching it. 852 00:49:42,913 --> 00:49:45,039 I mean, from that moment, we hated each other. 853 00:49:45,248 --> 00:49:46,707 Man. 854 00:49:48,043 --> 00:49:51,796 - And then you fell in love. - Yeah. Then we fell in love. 855 00:49:52,005 --> 00:49:56,008 - Ha, ha! - Hey, now. I think this is our exit. 856 00:49:56,218 --> 00:49:58,719 David, could you grab me the map out of the glove box? 857 00:49:59,221 --> 00:50:00,554 Yes, sir. 858 00:50:01,306 --> 00:50:04,016 - Whoa. Whoa. - Whoa! 859 00:50:04,226 --> 00:50:07,186 Hey, sorry about that, buddy. Didn't mean to scare you there. 860 00:50:07,395 --> 00:50:09,230 That's just my service pistol and badge. 861 00:50:09,439 --> 00:50:11,524 Your badge. 862 00:50:12,108 --> 00:50:14,527 - Are you a cop? - No, no, no. 863 00:50:14,736 --> 00:50:16,403 No? God. 864 00:50:17,489 --> 00:50:18,697 I'm in the DEA. 865 00:50:24,663 --> 00:50:27,540 Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the last 22 years. 866 00:50:27,749 --> 00:50:29,416 On a bit of a hiatus at the moment. 867 00:50:29,626 --> 00:50:32,503 They took him out of the field, he wasn't aggressive enough. 868 00:50:32,712 --> 00:50:34,922 - That's enough. - I'm sorry. It's not right, Don. 869 00:50:35,131 --> 00:50:38,175 Those young guns aren't half the agent you are, those crumb-bums. 870 00:50:38,385 --> 00:50:40,886 Edith, you know how I feel about your cussing. 871 00:50:41,096 --> 00:50:44,306 - I'm sorry, Don. - Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times. 872 00:50:44,516 --> 00:50:47,309 - I'm 1/8 Italian, so... - It's okay. 873 00:50:48,478 --> 00:50:52,273 Hey, if you guys will excuse me. 874 00:50:52,482 --> 00:50:54,275 - Wanna join me? - Where are you off to? 875 00:50:54,484 --> 00:50:56,777 - We're gonna check on the baby. - Gonna take a dump. 876 00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:59,363 - Check the baby's dumps. - That's what we should say. 877 00:50:59,573 --> 00:51:02,616 - Yeah, just go check on Lebanon. - LeBron. His name's LeBron. 878 00:51:02,826 --> 00:51:06,412 He just has a terrible tummy. And it's just bad diarrhea stuff. 879 00:51:06,621 --> 00:51:07,955 Do we still have cornstarch? 880 00:51:08,164 --> 00:51:10,374 Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom. 881 00:51:10,584 --> 00:51:12,251 - Family meeting. - Yep. 882 00:51:13,253 --> 00:51:15,087 I'm getting my hands on that baby. 883 00:51:17,591 --> 00:51:19,758 He's a narc? Are you fucking kidding me? 884 00:51:20,093 --> 00:51:23,429 Stop panicking! We haven't done anything suspicious yet, so just relax! 885 00:51:23,722 --> 00:51:27,057 Really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby? 886 00:51:27,267 --> 00:51:28,601 Give me the baby, all right? 887 00:51:28,810 --> 00:51:31,145 I'll handle it if it happens. I'll take care of it. 888 00:51:31,354 --> 00:51:34,899 Right now, all we have to do is get away from that fucked up family. 889 00:51:35,275 --> 00:51:36,901 Fuck. Why are we stopping? 890 00:51:37,110 --> 00:51:40,571 They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we're going to jail. 891 00:51:43,325 --> 00:51:45,451 No, no, no. We're just at the garage, okay? 892 00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:48,621 Everybody calm down. We haven't done anything. You're right. 893 00:51:48,830 --> 00:51:52,333 I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna get in and get out of here, okay? 894 00:51:52,542 --> 00:51:55,169 Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go. 895 00:51:56,504 --> 00:51:58,088 No other repair shops nearby? 896 00:51:58,298 --> 00:52:02,426 Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir. 897 00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,305 Shoot. I'd give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way... 898 00:52:06,514 --> 00:52:08,182 but we'd be stranded ourselves. 899 00:52:08,683 --> 00:52:11,602 Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better. 900 00:52:11,853 --> 00:52:14,146 - What's happening? - They're closed till morning. 901 00:52:14,564 --> 00:52:15,940 Oklahoma. 902 00:52:16,650 --> 00:52:17,691 God. 903 00:52:17,901 --> 00:52:20,486 You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight. 904 00:52:20,695 --> 00:52:24,740 I know a great spot. We'll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni. 905 00:52:24,950 --> 00:52:27,534 - I'll give you a hand with your gear. - No, no, no. 906 00:52:27,744 --> 00:52:29,787 That's okay. Millers carry their own weight. 907 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,998 - I knew I liked you, David. - Kenny, you wanna get our shit? 908 00:52:33,792 --> 00:52:36,043 - Hey. - This will be a hoot. 909 00:52:36,503 --> 00:52:39,713 I'll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time. 910 00:52:39,923 --> 00:52:42,383 - I don't want you to have to... - I am good with babies. 911 00:52:42,592 --> 00:52:44,969 Nonsense! Give me the baby. Give me that baby! 912 00:52:56,439 --> 00:52:57,481 Shit! 913 00:52:58,900 --> 00:52:59,942 My God! 914 00:53:01,152 --> 00:53:03,195 My God! 915 00:53:03,863 --> 00:53:07,074 My God. Why isn't there blood? 916 00:53:07,283 --> 00:53:10,160 My God! What's happening? 917 00:53:10,370 --> 00:53:14,331 Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project? 918 00:53:14,541 --> 00:53:16,792 I'm gonna fail and have to go to community college. 919 00:53:17,002 --> 00:53:19,545 - My future's ruined! - Honey. 920 00:53:19,921 --> 00:53:21,755 Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right? 921 00:53:21,965 --> 00:53:25,259 - That baby was...? - Did you think that LeBron was...? 922 00:53:25,468 --> 00:53:29,304 Heh-heh-heh. - No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs. 923 00:53:29,514 --> 00:53:31,098 Oregano and basil mostly. 924 00:53:31,307 --> 00:53:34,018 We were just treating it like a real baby, a summer project. 925 00:53:34,227 --> 00:53:36,562 - Extra credit. - It teaches the students that... 926 00:53:36,771 --> 00:53:38,397 nothing ruins your life like children. 927 00:53:39,107 --> 00:53:42,568 Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A. 928 00:53:42,777 --> 00:53:44,570 - Yeah, anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 929 00:53:45,822 --> 00:53:47,656 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses them. 930 00:53:48,450 --> 00:53:51,285 Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey... 931 00:53:51,494 --> 00:53:55,080 that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far. 932 00:53:55,290 --> 00:53:56,331 Got used to it. Sorry. 933 00:53:56,541 --> 00:53:58,083 And so I'm embarrassed, actually. 934 00:53:58,293 --> 00:53:59,960 I think that would scare anybody. 935 00:54:00,170 --> 00:54:03,464 She's very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy. 936 00:54:03,673 --> 00:54:04,882 Stop it, Don. 937 00:54:07,302 --> 00:54:08,719 I love that whale. 938 00:54:09,137 --> 00:54:11,555 Well, who loves campfire games? 939 00:54:11,765 --> 00:54:13,599 Don. 940 00:54:14,184 --> 00:54:15,350 It's a bird, it's a plane. 941 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,771 - U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! - Take me home to... 942 00:54:18,980 --> 00:54:20,022 Looks like a sea animal. 943 00:54:20,482 --> 00:54:21,607 Hammer tooth shark. 944 00:54:21,816 --> 00:54:26,361 We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right? 945 00:54:26,571 --> 00:54:28,489 Cut their throats. 946 00:54:29,240 --> 00:54:31,116 - What? - What? 947 00:54:31,326 --> 00:54:33,118 No. Jesus. 948 00:54:33,453 --> 00:54:35,329 - What the fuck's wrong with you? - Nothing. 949 00:54:35,538 --> 00:54:38,999 I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that. I thought you were gonna it. 950 00:54:39,209 --> 00:54:41,585 You thought I was gonna say "cut their throats"? 951 00:54:42,045 --> 00:54:44,421 Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break. 952 00:54:44,631 --> 00:54:46,465 - Herbert Walker Bush! - Paper airplanes! 953 00:54:47,091 --> 00:54:48,383 Clowns. Clown sandwich. 954 00:54:48,593 --> 00:54:50,219 Don't lock the baby in the basement. 955 00:54:50,428 --> 00:54:53,472 What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don's keys... 956 00:54:53,681 --> 00:54:57,434 then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours. 957 00:54:57,644 --> 00:54:59,686 Got it. 958 00:54:59,896 --> 00:55:02,648 - The Earth! The Earth is on fire! - Atmosphere. 959 00:55:04,317 --> 00:55:05,442 Plain and simple. 960 00:55:05,652 --> 00:55:07,236 Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda! 961 00:55:09,155 --> 00:55:10,405 It was "plain and simple." 962 00:55:10,615 --> 00:55:15,869 - See, this was a plane, and then this w... - Melissa, of course it was. 963 00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:17,496 That is so clever. 964 00:55:17,705 --> 00:55:19,456 Gosh, I thought it was really good. 965 00:55:20,166 --> 00:55:22,000 I'm a terrible drawer, so... 966 00:55:23,211 --> 00:55:25,087 Great, because you're up next. 967 00:55:27,048 --> 00:55:29,174 - Passing the baton. - Nice work. 968 00:55:29,384 --> 00:55:31,176 Okay. Let's go, Kenny. 969 00:55:31,386 --> 00:55:33,136 DAVID All right, Kenny, here we go. 970 00:55:33,346 --> 00:55:35,639 - Draw your brains out. - All right, that's a line. 971 00:55:35,849 --> 00:55:38,016 - A slash. Guns and Roses. - Looks like a spring. 972 00:55:38,226 --> 00:55:41,270 What is that? That's a... Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy. 973 00:55:41,479 --> 00:55:42,604 - String. - Come on, son. 974 00:55:42,814 --> 00:55:45,315 - Rocket. It's a rocket or... - Is that a cucumber? 975 00:55:45,525 --> 00:55:46,817 This is really stupid. 976 00:55:47,026 --> 00:55:49,653 Is it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is "bad drawing." 977 00:55:50,154 --> 00:55:53,407 - It's... ! A penis! A penis. 978 00:55:53,950 --> 00:55:56,994 It's a big dick. Those are balls. 979 00:55:57,203 --> 00:56:00,414 It's a big black dick! It's a drawing. Black! It's a big black dick. 980 00:56:01,374 --> 00:56:03,625 It's a big, big black cock! 981 00:56:04,419 --> 00:56:05,544 Black Cock Down! 982 00:56:10,717 --> 00:56:11,967 It's a skateboard. 983 00:56:12,260 --> 00:56:15,012 - It's a skateboard, great. - A skateboard. Of course it is. 984 00:56:15,221 --> 00:56:18,140 - It's a big black skateboard. - I see it. 985 00:56:18,349 --> 00:56:21,351 Of course. It's very clear. But, you see, it was up... There's... 986 00:56:21,561 --> 00:56:24,813 Its wheels, so I didn't see it down on the ground, and then it... 987 00:56:28,693 --> 00:56:31,403 Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down? 988 00:56:31,613 --> 00:56:34,239 Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work. 989 00:56:34,449 --> 00:56:36,450 Not my fault that Kenny can't draw. 990 00:56:36,659 --> 00:56:38,327 Don't you pick on Kenny. 991 00:56:38,536 --> 00:56:40,913 Nothing about that looked like a skateboard. 992 00:56:41,122 --> 00:56:43,957 You leave him alone. Where the hell's Kenny? 993 00:56:44,167 --> 00:56:46,251 - You guys, come here. - What? 994 00:56:46,461 --> 00:56:48,128 - What's going on? - Look at these two. 995 00:56:48,338 --> 00:56:50,172 - Aww. 996 00:56:52,926 --> 00:56:55,552 - Guess I'm not the best drawer. - No, you were great. 997 00:56:55,762 --> 00:56:57,804 - I knew that was a skateboard. - Yeah. 998 00:56:58,181 --> 00:57:01,099 - I don't know where the confusion was. - No, I... That... 999 00:57:01,392 --> 00:57:02,893 Yeah. 1000 00:57:03,811 --> 00:57:06,855 I, um, really like your family. They're... 1001 00:57:07,065 --> 00:57:10,651 - They're different. - Well, they're not my family. I mean... 1002 00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:12,319 Yeah, no, I get what you mean. 1003 00:57:12,528 --> 00:57:14,446 - She wants him to kiss her. - Absolutely. 1004 00:57:14,656 --> 00:57:17,950 - She does, right? - And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted... 1005 00:57:18,159 --> 00:57:20,285 or an alien, you know, or something. 1006 00:57:20,495 --> 00:57:23,413 Right. That's what I meant. Um... 1007 00:57:23,623 --> 00:57:26,166 But also, you know, I would totally adopt you. 1008 00:57:26,668 --> 00:57:27,876 You know, um... 1009 00:57:29,420 --> 00:57:32,673 Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just... 1010 00:57:33,174 --> 00:57:35,342 - He's talking too much. - He won't shut up. 1011 00:57:37,804 --> 00:57:39,096 Well, good night. 1012 00:57:41,307 --> 00:57:43,100 - I'll see you. - Okay. Um... 1013 00:57:43,559 --> 00:57:44,726 Fucking hug. 1014 00:57:44,936 --> 00:57:46,019 Okay. 1015 00:57:47,438 --> 00:57:48,480 And, Melissa? 1016 00:57:49,357 --> 00:57:52,359 - Yeah? - Watch out for bears. 1017 00:57:52,568 --> 00:57:56,154 Um, you know. Can't see them coming. 1018 00:57:56,781 --> 00:57:58,031 Good tip. 1019 00:58:04,622 --> 00:58:07,582 That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him. 1020 00:58:08,042 --> 00:58:09,251 Who? 1021 00:58:10,253 --> 00:58:12,045 I said you should go... Well, who do you think? 1022 00:58:12,255 --> 00:58:14,172 Me? What the hell am I gonna say? 1023 00:58:14,382 --> 00:58:16,091 Talk to him about guy stuff. 1024 00:58:16,634 --> 00:58:19,678 - Jesus fucking Christ. - Come on, how hard is it? Just go. 1025 00:58:25,059 --> 00:58:27,936 - Hey, man, how you doing? - Hey. 1026 00:58:28,146 --> 00:58:30,147 - Anybody sitting here? - No. 1027 00:58:30,356 --> 00:58:33,400 Well, good, good, good, good. All right. 1028 00:58:34,861 --> 00:58:36,236 So, um... 1029 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,282 I saw what just happened with you and Melissa. 1030 00:58:40,992 --> 00:58:42,701 Um... 1031 00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:47,581 You know, you don't have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh. 1032 00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:52,085 I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for? 1033 00:58:52,795 --> 00:58:54,421 That's not funny, David. 1034 00:58:57,091 --> 00:58:59,885 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1035 00:59:00,678 --> 00:59:02,804 It was a bad joke. Ahem. 1036 00:59:05,099 --> 00:59:07,851 You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... 1037 00:59:08,061 --> 00:59:10,228 kept me from getting nervous around girls? 1038 00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:14,191 - Yeah. - I would just count to three. 1039 00:59:15,109 --> 00:59:17,027 - Count to three? - Yeah. 1040 00:59:17,612 --> 00:59:20,322 - That's your big advice? Count to three? - Yeah. 1041 00:59:20,531 --> 00:59:24,701 I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean... 1042 00:59:24,911 --> 00:59:28,455 Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... 1043 00:59:28,664 --> 00:59:29,998 and then do it. 1044 00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:35,504 Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you'll just drive yourself crazy. 1045 00:59:35,713 --> 00:59:37,547 Trust me, it'll change your life. 1046 00:59:38,925 --> 00:59:40,675 I guess that makes sense. 1047 00:59:41,928 --> 00:59:44,262 - Thanks. - Yeah. No problem. 1048 00:59:44,472 --> 00:59:47,891 And, you know, if you have any other questions... 1049 00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:50,060 about, like, the birds and the bees... 1050 00:59:50,269 --> 00:59:52,938 who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff... 1051 00:59:53,147 --> 00:59:55,774 just don't hesitate to ask, okay? 1052 00:59:55,983 --> 00:59:57,025 - Okay. - Okay. 1053 00:59:57,318 --> 00:59:58,693 - Good talk. - Yeah, good talk. 1054 00:59:58,903 --> 01:00:00,779 My back. 1055 01:00:01,322 --> 01:00:03,698 - So old. - Yeah. 1056 01:00:26,180 --> 01:00:30,642 Wait. You go in. I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good. 1057 01:00:30,852 --> 01:00:34,479 Fuck you. This was your idea. You're going the fuck in there. 1058 01:00:34,689 --> 01:00:36,314 Why are you yelling at me? 1059 01:00:36,524 --> 01:00:38,567 I am not yelling at you. 1060 01:00:38,776 --> 01:00:41,194 Okay. Okay. 1061 01:00:43,072 --> 01:00:44,322 Watch. 1062 01:00:59,881 --> 01:01:01,298 Bin Laden! 1063 01:01:02,425 --> 01:01:03,967 What's happening? Is it raccoons? 1064 01:01:05,261 --> 01:01:06,386 God. 1065 01:01:06,888 --> 01:01:08,430 You were right about them, Edith. 1066 01:01:08,639 --> 01:01:10,390 - No. I'm so sorry. - Let me explain. 1067 01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,017 This is completely explainable. 1068 01:01:12,226 --> 01:01:14,477 - A misunderstanding. - We didn't mean to do this. 1069 01:01:16,147 --> 01:01:18,481 - You just have to understand something. 1070 01:01:20,818 --> 01:01:24,196 We have never done anything like this with another couple before. 1071 01:01:26,616 --> 01:01:29,201 That's no judgment on you. We're no squares. 1072 01:01:29,410 --> 01:01:31,578 - I own a vibrator. - That's right, she does. 1073 01:01:32,455 --> 01:01:34,039 - Awesome. - I wasn't for it at first. 1074 01:01:34,248 --> 01:01:37,209 The darn thing's made in China, for cripes' sake... 1075 01:01:37,418 --> 01:01:42,130 but when you've been married this long you look for anything to spice things up. 1076 01:01:42,340 --> 01:01:46,176 So, of course we've discussed a scenario like this. 1077 01:01:46,385 --> 01:01:50,472 Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black "babymaker"... 1078 01:01:51,474 --> 01:01:53,600 - Well, we got it. - Loud and clear. 1079 01:01:53,809 --> 01:01:56,102 Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan." 1080 01:01:56,646 --> 01:01:59,481 We were picking up what you were putting down. 1081 01:01:59,857 --> 01:02:01,816 - Same page. - Interesting. 1082 01:02:02,026 --> 01:02:06,071 We're very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night... 1083 01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,699 I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. Aw, Don. 1084 01:02:09,909 --> 01:02:12,202 Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem. 1085 01:02:12,411 --> 01:02:13,745 We just had to ask. So... 1086 01:02:13,955 --> 01:02:15,247 Wait. I have an idea. 1087 01:02:17,083 --> 01:02:21,753 Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight. 1088 01:02:21,963 --> 01:02:24,506 I mean, my mouth is for my marriage. 1089 01:02:24,757 --> 01:02:27,676 But I've never touched another woman before. 1090 01:02:30,805 --> 01:02:34,099 I would be okay with that. Yeah. 1091 01:02:34,809 --> 01:02:35,850 Great. 1092 01:02:36,727 --> 01:02:37,978 Rose? 1093 01:02:38,980 --> 01:02:41,231 - There you go. - Okay. All right, I'm sitting. 1094 01:02:41,524 --> 01:02:42,941 - Are you okay? - David. 1095 01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:46,111 - Mother to mother, is this okay with you? - Yes. "Mother." Yes. 1096 01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,655 - Are you sure? - Let's get this mother started. 1097 01:02:48,864 --> 01:02:51,283 - Shall we? Okay. Ha-ha-ha! 1098 01:02:51,534 --> 01:02:54,536 - Okay, Don, are you watching? - I'm good. 1099 01:02:55,496 --> 01:02:57,330 Okay. Wow. 1100 01:02:57,540 --> 01:03:00,166 My heart's pounding so fast in my chest. 1101 01:03:00,376 --> 01:03:03,003 - Ahem. So I guess we're swinging. - Yeah. 1102 01:03:03,212 --> 01:03:05,046 Ooh. Ha, ha. 1103 01:03:05,256 --> 01:03:06,673 Sorry that I'm taking so long. 1104 01:03:06,882 --> 01:03:08,967 Hello. Ha-ha-ha! 1105 01:03:10,594 --> 01:03:13,638 Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast. There we go. 1106 01:03:14,348 --> 01:03:15,765 - There they are. - There they are. 1107 01:03:15,975 --> 01:03:19,227 - Wow! Wow! - It's happening. This is happening. 1108 01:03:20,229 --> 01:03:23,315 Don, are you looking at this? I'm touching her boobs. 1109 01:03:23,733 --> 01:03:25,775 - This is a miracle. - Okey-doke. 1110 01:03:25,985 --> 01:03:29,237 - Would you like to feel my breasts? - I think that's enough for tonight. 1111 01:03:29,447 --> 01:03:31,239 - You're right. - Don't give away the farm. 1112 01:03:31,449 --> 01:03:33,199 - A little roughhouse? - We should wait. 1113 01:03:34,035 --> 01:03:36,161 - Are you okay down there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1114 01:03:36,370 --> 01:03:37,746 Have fun tonight, kids. 1115 01:03:39,123 --> 01:03:43,043 - Awesome. - I'm never gonna wash these hands. 1116 01:03:43,252 --> 01:03:44,586 Mwah, mwah, mwah! 1117 01:03:45,171 --> 01:03:46,421 Thank you so much. 1118 01:03:46,797 --> 01:03:48,798 - Good night. That was great. - Okay, bye, guys. 1119 01:03:49,008 --> 01:03:50,967 Great. What now, genius? 1120 01:03:51,177 --> 01:03:53,178 - Tell me... What? I don't know. 1121 01:03:53,387 --> 01:03:56,056 I just got earfucked in a tent. What do you want from me? 1122 01:03:56,265 --> 01:03:57,307 You're a fucking idiot. 1123 01:04:12,490 --> 01:04:13,531 Okay, what? 1124 01:04:15,618 --> 01:04:16,951 What? What do you mean? 1125 01:04:17,161 --> 01:04:18,495 Do you wanna talk about it... 1126 01:04:18,704 --> 01:04:21,456 or mope around like someone kicked you in the vagina? 1127 01:04:23,459 --> 01:04:25,376 Okay. Um... 1128 01:04:25,586 --> 01:04:27,629 Well, I've never really like... 1129 01:04:27,838 --> 01:04:30,006 Had sex before. Shocker. 1130 01:04:30,216 --> 01:04:31,716 Kissed a girl before. 1131 01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:35,678 Wait, what? I thought you said you were like 18. 1132 01:04:36,055 --> 01:04:38,473 - Okay, you know what, forget it. - Okay, okay, wait. Okay. 1133 01:04:38,682 --> 01:04:41,684 Come on. Sit down. Don't need to be so dramatic. 1134 01:04:41,894 --> 01:04:44,479 Look, it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl. 1135 01:04:44,688 --> 01:04:46,856 I'm sure there are some girls... 1136 01:04:47,066 --> 01:04:48,817 who I've never met... 1137 01:04:49,276 --> 01:04:51,611 that find inexperience kind of sweet. 1138 01:04:51,821 --> 01:04:56,241 I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced guy who's never been worth kissing. 1139 01:04:57,034 --> 01:05:01,704 I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl and kisses her. You know? 1140 01:05:04,834 --> 01:05:07,502 Okay, let me make one thing clear. 1141 01:05:07,711 --> 01:05:10,755 This isn't one of those moments where the girl kisses the boy... 1142 01:05:10,965 --> 01:05:13,967 and realizes she's been in love with him the whole time, okay? 1143 01:05:14,802 --> 01:05:16,928 You're my fake brother and you're a sweet kid... 1144 01:05:17,138 --> 01:05:19,639 so this is for you to bring back to Melissa. 1145 01:05:19,849 --> 01:05:21,933 - What is? - I'm gonna kiss you, dingus. 1146 01:05:25,896 --> 01:05:28,565 - What are you doing? Shut your eyes. - Okay, sorry. Right. 1147 01:05:28,774 --> 01:05:30,984 That's weird. That's really weird. 1148 01:05:31,193 --> 01:05:33,236 - Sorry. - All right. Ahem. 1149 01:05:38,868 --> 01:05:41,035 That was okay. Now more tongue. 1150 01:05:41,245 --> 01:05:43,454 Tongue. I can do that. 1151 01:05:46,167 --> 01:05:48,334 Too much tongue. Too much tongue. 1152 01:05:48,794 --> 01:05:52,130 Right. Too much... Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry. 1153 01:05:54,175 --> 01:05:55,258 Less tongue. 1154 01:06:00,806 --> 01:06:01,848 That was good. 1155 01:06:03,017 --> 01:06:05,935 All right, now this time, I want you to choke me a little bit. 1156 01:06:06,145 --> 01:06:10,106 - Okay. - Whoa. What's going on here? 1157 01:06:10,316 --> 01:06:11,774 It's... 1158 01:06:11,984 --> 01:06:14,903 - We're not doing what it looks like. - Really? 1159 01:06:15,154 --> 01:06:17,780 It looks like Casey's teaching you how to kiss out of pity. 1160 01:06:19,366 --> 01:06:21,910 Well, then it is what it looks like, yeah. 1161 01:06:22,286 --> 01:06:23,536 Really. 1162 01:06:23,913 --> 01:06:25,330 What did you teach him? 1163 01:06:25,539 --> 01:06:28,458 The basics. He's never kissed a girl before. 1164 01:06:28,959 --> 01:06:31,586 You haven't? Well, honey, show me. 1165 01:06:31,795 --> 01:06:33,963 - Really? - Yes. 1166 01:06:34,548 --> 01:06:35,673 Okay... 1167 01:06:38,302 --> 01:06:40,511 Not bad. 1168 01:06:40,721 --> 01:06:42,055 It's not bad. 1169 01:06:42,556 --> 01:06:44,224 - Try this. - Okay. 1170 01:06:44,433 --> 01:06:45,516 Come here. 1171 01:06:49,063 --> 01:06:50,104 There you go. 1172 01:06:52,358 --> 01:06:54,275 You feel that? What I did with my tongue? 1173 01:06:55,027 --> 01:06:58,238 - Yes, ma'am. - Show Casey what you just learned. 1174 01:07:01,909 --> 01:07:03,451 Look at that. 1175 01:07:04,370 --> 01:07:06,746 Whoa! 1176 01:07:06,956 --> 01:07:08,206 Wait. Hold on. 1177 01:07:08,415 --> 01:07:12,293 I wanna get a picture of you with the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go. 1178 01:07:12,503 --> 01:07:14,045 - Make it good. - Good. 1179 01:07:14,255 --> 01:07:17,131 Rose. Get in there. There you go. Photobomb it. 1180 01:07:18,217 --> 01:07:20,677 - This is getting better, it's getting better. - Okay. 1181 01:07:24,682 --> 01:07:26,182 It's so cute. 1182 01:07:26,392 --> 01:07:28,518 Use your hands. They got so much fun stuff to play with. 1183 01:07:28,727 --> 01:07:30,353 You're not using your hands. 1184 01:07:35,234 --> 01:07:36,776 Kenny? 1185 01:07:39,113 --> 01:07:41,364 - No, Melissa... It's, - I'm sorry. 1186 01:07:41,573 --> 01:07:43,074 Melissa, wait. 1187 01:07:44,159 --> 01:07:45,285 Fuck. 1188 01:07:46,537 --> 01:07:49,372 You know, there's a 50-50 chance she'll be into it. 1189 01:07:49,581 --> 01:07:51,499 Redhead. They're crazy. 1190 01:08:00,968 --> 01:08:03,594 Grab your things, guys. Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks. 1191 01:08:03,804 --> 01:08:06,180 - Here we go. - Well, looks like you're ready to roll. 1192 01:08:06,390 --> 01:08:10,018 Gary called me first thing. He seemed real eager for y'all to come pick her up. 1193 01:08:10,227 --> 01:08:12,812 - Good. Good, good, good. Okay. - Guess this is it, then. 1194 01:08:13,022 --> 01:08:14,063 Good luck to you, David. 1195 01:08:14,273 --> 01:08:17,608 - Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you? - Before you go running off... 1196 01:08:17,818 --> 01:08:20,111 - Yeah? - Well, last night, notwithstanding... 1197 01:08:20,321 --> 01:08:23,156 things bedroom-wise between me and Mrs. Fitzgerald... 1198 01:08:23,365 --> 01:08:26,617 haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late. 1199 01:08:26,827 --> 01:08:28,619 Anyway, I need your advice, David. 1200 01:08:28,954 --> 01:08:31,664 You guys seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... 1201 01:08:31,874 --> 01:08:33,916 having sexual congress in a wool sock. 1202 01:08:34,585 --> 01:08:36,961 - We do? - Yeah, I guess I just want to know... 1203 01:08:37,171 --> 01:08:42,091 what do you do to keep things exciting after years in the same fishing hole? 1204 01:08:42,301 --> 01:08:44,427 What's your secret? 1205 01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,263 Right. Let's see. My secret... 1206 01:08:49,266 --> 01:08:51,267 Well, you know what I do, Don? 1207 01:08:51,477 --> 01:08:53,936 I just treat Rose like she's a stripper. 1208 01:08:57,358 --> 01:08:58,816 - No kidding? - No kidding. 1209 01:08:59,026 --> 01:09:01,152 Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper. 1210 01:09:03,322 --> 01:09:04,906 Okay. Heh-heh-heh. 1211 01:09:05,115 --> 01:09:06,324 Dirtier the better. 1212 01:09:07,826 --> 01:09:08,868 Okay, watch your step. 1213 01:09:09,244 --> 01:09:11,871 It surprise... It sneaks up on you. 1214 01:09:12,289 --> 01:09:13,498 Everyone got your bags? 1215 01:09:13,999 --> 01:09:17,627 I am so sorry that Melissa isn't here to say goodbye. 1216 01:09:17,836 --> 01:09:19,379 She just won't come out of that bedroom. 1217 01:09:19,588 --> 01:09:22,382 You know, she's been sick to her tummy ever since last night. 1218 01:09:22,591 --> 01:09:25,885 - I think it was something that she ate. - Just tell her I'm really sorry. 1219 01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:27,428 Sure. 1220 01:09:27,888 --> 01:09:29,222 Sure will. 1221 01:09:31,016 --> 01:09:32,892 So sweet, kids. 1222 01:09:35,104 --> 01:09:37,188 You'll always be my special lover. 1223 01:09:38,774 --> 01:09:40,858 Edie. 1224 01:09:42,069 --> 01:09:43,277 Bye! 1225 01:09:43,487 --> 01:09:46,322 - Happy birthday, America! - Bye! 1226 01:09:46,532 --> 01:09:48,282 - See ya, now! - Bye-bye, now. 1227 01:09:50,661 --> 01:09:52,328 - Thank you. - Bye. 1228 01:09:52,538 --> 01:09:56,332 Let's get out of here. You guys, go to the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter. 1229 01:10:00,796 --> 01:10:02,213 Hello? 1230 01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,553 Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you. 1231 01:10:08,929 --> 01:10:10,972 Where are you? Thought you'd be here by now. 1232 01:10:11,181 --> 01:10:12,557 I told you I needed it today. 1233 01:10:12,766 --> 01:10:16,227 No, I know that. No, we just had a little bit of engine trouble's all, okay? 1234 01:10:16,436 --> 01:10:20,690 We're gonna be on the road in five minutes, at your front door in just a few hours, okay? 1235 01:10:20,899 --> 01:10:22,608 Nothing stopping us now. 1236 01:10:23,068 --> 01:10:24,485 What the fuck? 1237 01:10:26,572 --> 01:10:28,156 Hand me the phone. 1238 01:10:28,365 --> 01:10:30,783 Brad, can you hold on for a sec? 1239 01:10:31,118 --> 01:10:33,119 All right, let's not do anything rash. 1240 01:10:33,495 --> 01:10:35,955 - I'm David, what's your name? - Pablo Chacon. 1241 01:10:36,165 --> 01:10:38,249 Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop. 1242 01:10:38,458 --> 01:10:41,127 - Hola, Brad. - Pablo! 1243 01:10:43,297 --> 01:10:45,798 You send this amateur fuck-up to steal from me? 1244 01:10:46,008 --> 01:10:48,718 Listen, I don't know what David told you... Hello? 1245 01:10:50,387 --> 01:10:53,556 I thought you said we were picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon. 1246 01:10:53,765 --> 01:10:56,350 I thought we were. Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon. 1247 01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:58,769 - Why do you trust that guy? - I don't, okay? 1248 01:10:58,979 --> 01:11:01,230 Can you guys stop bickering for five seconds? 1249 01:11:01,440 --> 01:11:03,566 Okay, how did he even find us? 1250 01:11:03,775 --> 01:11:05,193 - We don't know. - I don't know. 1251 01:11:05,402 --> 01:11:06,694 With this. 1252 01:11:08,697 --> 01:11:09,739 Tracking device. 1253 01:11:09,948 --> 01:11:12,325 You put that in the RV? In one of the bags? 1254 01:11:12,534 --> 01:11:16,120 - How could you not think of that? - Because I don't know what I'm doing! 1255 01:11:16,330 --> 01:11:18,623 - Have you not figured that out? - Silence! 1256 01:11:21,877 --> 01:11:23,377 You all die now. 1257 01:11:23,587 --> 01:11:25,880 But together as a family, with honor. 1258 01:11:26,632 --> 01:11:30,885 But we're not even a real family, okay? I don't even know these people. 1259 01:11:32,471 --> 01:11:35,681 She's right. That's absolutely right. No, no. We're not related at all, any of us. 1260 01:11:35,891 --> 01:11:38,267 Look, I'm just a small-time fucking drug dealer. 1261 01:11:38,477 --> 01:11:39,810 I sell dime bags, all right? 1262 01:11:40,020 --> 01:11:43,606 My daughter here is just a homeless gutter punk, all right? 1263 01:11:43,815 --> 01:11:47,985 And my son is just a fucking dork that lives in my building. We don't look alike! 1264 01:11:48,195 --> 01:11:50,863 - Not related. - A virgin, okay? And my "wife"? 1265 01:11:51,323 --> 01:11:53,074 I mean, she's just a cheap stripper. 1266 01:11:53,283 --> 01:11:55,201 Hey, thanks, David. Nice. 1267 01:11:55,410 --> 01:11:57,912 - We will not do anything if... - Wait, wait. Heh. 1268 01:11:58,121 --> 01:12:00,998 In the capri pants and the sensible footwear, a stripper? 1269 01:12:02,251 --> 01:12:03,334 Yes. 1270 01:12:04,378 --> 01:12:05,503 That's right, I am... 1271 01:12:06,463 --> 01:12:08,047 Mr. Chacon. 1272 01:12:08,882 --> 01:12:11,050 Just give me one chance... 1273 01:12:11,260 --> 01:12:16,347 to prove to you that I'm worth way more alive than I am dead. 1274 01:12:23,855 --> 01:12:28,401 Sweet 1275 01:12:28,610 --> 01:12:33,281 Emotion 1276 01:12:33,490 --> 01:12:36,284 Talk about things And nobody cares 1277 01:12:38,787 --> 01:12:41,163 Wearing hot things That nobody wears 1278 01:12:48,380 --> 01:12:51,465 Some sweat hog knew She's a real good liar 1279 01:12:53,051 --> 01:12:56,220 'Cause the backstage boogie Set your pants on fire 1280 01:13:00,976 --> 01:13:04,854 Sweet 1281 01:13:05,063 --> 01:13:09,608 Emotion 1282 01:13:09,818 --> 01:13:14,530 Sweet 1283 01:13:14,740 --> 01:13:18,492 Emotion 1284 01:13:19,578 --> 01:13:22,538 You stand in the front Just a shakin' your ass 1285 01:13:24,541 --> 01:13:27,752 I'll take you backstage You'll be drinking my glass 1286 01:13:29,379 --> 01:13:32,506 I'm talkin' about something You can sure understand 1287 01:13:47,064 --> 01:13:49,231 Have some respect, it's your mother. 1288 01:13:57,908 --> 01:13:59,492 Get in the RV! Go, go, go! 1289 01:14:07,250 --> 01:14:08,292 Why are we fighting? 1290 01:14:13,382 --> 01:14:15,049 - Do you know how to drive this? - No. 1291 01:14:16,093 --> 01:14:17,301 No weapons. Here we go. 1292 01:14:17,511 --> 01:14:19,678 - Hurry! - I don't know how it works. 1293 01:14:22,307 --> 01:14:23,641 Fuck! 1294 01:14:28,355 --> 01:14:31,065 - What just happened? - I knocked him out. Let's go. 1295 01:14:31,274 --> 01:14:32,441 - You did not. - Yes, I did. 1296 01:14:36,530 --> 01:14:38,030 Come on, Rose, come on. Come on! 1297 01:14:41,535 --> 01:14:42,785 - Look out! - No, please. 1298 01:14:49,251 --> 01:14:51,252 Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel! 1299 01:14:51,461 --> 01:14:52,837 No, do not pull over! 1300 01:14:54,131 --> 01:14:56,841 Go this way! No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway. 1301 01:14:57,050 --> 01:14:59,468 - Kenny, just let me in. - I can't. I'll stop. 1302 01:14:59,678 --> 01:15:01,137 Don't stop! You can't stop. 1303 01:15:01,346 --> 01:15:02,638 Goddamn it, will you let go? 1304 01:15:02,848 --> 01:15:04,765 No, no, no, no! You're gonna get us killed! 1305 01:15:08,854 --> 01:15:11,480 - All right, just get out of the way. - I can't. 1306 01:15:23,577 --> 01:15:24,618 Is everybody okay? 1307 01:15:24,828 --> 01:15:26,620 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. What...? 1308 01:15:26,830 --> 01:15:27,872 Fuck. 1309 01:15:30,292 --> 01:15:33,169 Fuck! 1310 01:15:33,670 --> 01:15:34,920 Shit! Fuck, fucking... 1311 01:15:37,424 --> 01:15:40,176 - My God. Fucking shit! Fuck! - What the hell is he doing? 1312 01:15:40,385 --> 01:15:42,470 Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much. 1313 01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:44,972 Settle down, man. What the hell's going on? 1314 01:15:45,182 --> 01:15:47,057 My God! I'm gonna die. 1315 01:15:47,267 --> 01:15:49,226 Kenny, listen to me. Calm down, all right? 1316 01:15:49,436 --> 01:15:51,228 Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on. 1317 01:15:51,438 --> 01:15:53,939 - Tell us what happened. - Fucking spider bit me, David! 1318 01:15:54,149 --> 01:15:56,734 - What? Where did it happen? - Bit me on my balls. 1319 01:15:57,235 --> 01:16:00,654 On my fucking balls. On my balls, on my fucking balls! 1320 01:16:00,864 --> 01:16:02,740 God. Let me see. Kenny, let me see it. 1321 01:16:02,949 --> 01:16:05,493 No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it. 1322 01:16:05,702 --> 01:16:09,413 Come on. I can't help you unless you show me. Sweetie, just show it to me. 1323 01:16:09,623 --> 01:16:11,874 Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants? 1324 01:16:12,083 --> 01:16:13,751 We've all seen a dick. 1325 01:16:18,924 --> 01:16:20,341 All right, let's see it. 1326 01:16:22,761 --> 01:16:25,221 What? What is it? What does it look like? 1327 01:16:25,430 --> 01:16:27,223 - I can't look. - Um... 1328 01:16:27,432 --> 01:16:30,309 - Is it bad? - Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad. 1329 01:16:30,519 --> 01:16:32,645 - Dude, it's really bad. - No, it isn't. 1330 01:16:32,854 --> 01:16:35,397 - Have you seen what that... Look. - I'm not gonna look. 1331 01:16:35,607 --> 01:16:38,776 - You're going to a hospital. - What? No. No fucking way. 1332 01:16:39,152 --> 01:16:40,194 How bad is it? 1333 01:16:40,487 --> 01:16:43,280 You're okay. Rub some dirt on it. Let's get back in the RV. 1334 01:16:43,490 --> 01:16:46,075 No. You're going to see a doctor. 1335 01:16:46,284 --> 01:16:48,369 No fucking way. No, absolutely not, Rose. 1336 01:16:48,578 --> 01:16:51,121 He's not going to a hospital. We don't have time. 1337 01:16:51,331 --> 01:16:54,208 Trust me. Kenny is fine. 1338 01:16:56,086 --> 01:16:58,879 - Goddamn it, Kenny. - Yeah. Totally fine. 1339 01:16:59,089 --> 01:17:02,132 - Go grab him. Grab him! - if he's dead, we're leaving him. 1340 01:17:09,015 --> 01:17:12,935 Yeah, this is David Mille... David Clark, calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again. 1341 01:17:13,979 --> 01:17:15,604 Yes, I'll hold. 1342 01:17:20,485 --> 01:17:22,236 - Yellow-ski. - Hello, Brad. 1343 01:17:22,445 --> 01:17:25,197 Where the fuck have you been? I left you five messages, man! 1344 01:17:25,407 --> 01:17:29,243 David! You're alive! Cool. How'd that happen? 1345 01:17:29,452 --> 01:17:31,203 Ask the real Pablo Chacon. 1346 01:17:31,413 --> 01:17:32,788 I'm not gonna make excuses. 1347 01:17:33,248 --> 01:17:34,707 It was kind of a dick move. 1348 01:17:35,417 --> 01:17:37,459 - "A dick move"? A dick move! - Little bit. 1349 01:17:37,877 --> 01:17:39,295 Little bit of a dick move. 1350 01:17:39,504 --> 01:17:42,172 Well, tell you what. I'm not driving another fucking mile. 1351 01:17:42,382 --> 01:17:46,510 All right? I want goddamn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around... 1352 01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:50,639 and give this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address. 1353 01:17:50,849 --> 01:17:51,890 Do you understand me? 1354 01:17:52,100 --> 01:17:54,268 Sounds like you're threatening to double-cross me. 1355 01:17:54,477 --> 01:17:56,228 Fucking right I am. 1356 01:17:56,438 --> 01:17:58,397 And I'm kind of turned on right now. 1357 01:17:59,149 --> 01:18:01,692 You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want? 1358 01:18:01,901 --> 01:18:04,653 How much? I don't know, half a million dollars. 1359 01:18:04,863 --> 01:18:06,155 - How about that? - Done. 1360 01:18:07,365 --> 01:18:08,991 Fucking right, it's done. Good. 1361 01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:12,119 But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off. 1362 01:18:12,829 --> 01:18:14,330 No problem. That's fine with me. 1363 01:18:14,539 --> 01:18:16,206 Where the hell are you, anyway? 1364 01:18:16,416 --> 01:18:21,462 We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico. 1365 01:18:21,671 --> 01:18:23,005 - Why? - Why? Why? 1366 01:18:23,214 --> 01:18:26,759 Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant spider. 1367 01:18:26,968 --> 01:18:30,179 That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops super powers? 1368 01:18:30,805 --> 01:18:32,848 Listen, man, giddyup, okay? Tick-tock. 1369 01:18:33,391 --> 01:18:35,684 Tick-tock. Okay. 1370 01:18:42,734 --> 01:18:44,485 Scottie? The doctor will see you now. 1371 01:18:48,323 --> 01:18:50,032 Text me, girl. I gotta bounce. 1372 01:18:50,658 --> 01:18:51,867 Know what I'm saying? 1373 01:18:54,162 --> 01:18:57,664 God. Really? That guy? 1374 01:18:58,458 --> 01:19:01,001 - What? He's hot. - Okay. 1375 01:19:01,669 --> 01:19:02,836 "I gotta bounce." 1376 01:19:04,130 --> 01:19:05,964 - Miller family? - Yeah. 1377 01:19:06,424 --> 01:19:08,884 Hi. Hello, how are you? 1378 01:19:09,094 --> 01:19:11,762 Great. What's the news, doc? Can we get going? 1379 01:19:11,971 --> 01:19:13,722 - He's about to tell us. - Good. 1380 01:19:13,932 --> 01:19:17,684 I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe allergic reaction to the spider's venom. 1381 01:19:17,894 --> 01:19:19,895 Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home. Where is he? 1382 01:19:20,105 --> 01:19:24,191 He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be able to release him for a few hours yet. 1383 01:19:26,444 --> 01:19:28,862 - Why? - David? David, David! Stop it. 1384 01:19:30,031 --> 01:19:31,323 Please. Continue. 1385 01:19:32,283 --> 01:19:34,076 He's on an IV to get some antibiotics... 1386 01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:38,038 Who the fuck cares, man? Okay? We got shit to do. 1387 01:19:38,248 --> 01:19:41,291 Go get my son and bring him and his giant nut out here right now. 1388 01:19:41,501 --> 01:19:44,878 Stop it. Doctor, thank you. I appreciate you taking care of our son. 1389 01:19:45,088 --> 01:19:48,715 - Thank you very much. - Sure. You seem like a very caring father. 1390 01:19:50,385 --> 01:19:52,886 - What is your fucking problem? - What? 1391 01:19:53,096 --> 01:19:55,597 Are you crazy? It's only a few hours. We'll be fine. 1392 01:19:55,807 --> 01:19:57,057 No, we're not fine. Okay? 1393 01:19:57,267 --> 01:20:00,227 We'll be dead in a few hours. You forget who's following us? 1394 01:20:00,437 --> 01:20:02,771 Look, here's what I say we do, all right? 1395 01:20:03,273 --> 01:20:05,899 We leave him here, and then we just keep going, all right? 1396 01:20:06,109 --> 01:20:09,027 So you're saying that the three of us, we just leave him here. 1397 01:20:09,237 --> 01:20:13,115 No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here. No. Absolutely not. No, we leave... 1398 01:20:13,366 --> 01:20:14,741 with him here. 1399 01:20:17,704 --> 01:20:18,745 Okay. 1400 01:20:24,752 --> 01:20:27,087 You know, if we leave Kenny here, it really isn't... 1401 01:20:29,007 --> 01:20:31,717 No. I don't know where I was going with that. That's stupid. 1402 01:20:31,926 --> 01:20:33,218 Seriously. 1403 01:20:35,638 --> 01:20:37,014 - What's that? - I don't know. 1404 01:20:37,223 --> 01:20:39,975 - Don't answer it! It's for me! - What? 1405 01:20:40,935 --> 01:20:41,977 What's up, dawg? 1406 01:20:42,395 --> 01:20:43,979 Not much, dawg. What's up with you? 1407 01:20:44,189 --> 01:20:46,148 Here to pick up Casey, know what I'm saying? 1408 01:20:46,357 --> 01:20:48,859 I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. 1409 01:20:50,028 --> 01:20:53,197 - What's your name, man? - Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha. 1410 01:20:54,032 --> 01:20:55,782 Again, I do know what you're saying. 1411 01:20:55,992 --> 01:20:58,452 But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me. 1412 01:20:58,661 --> 01:21:01,246 - Hi! Bye. We're gonna go. - Whoa, wait! 1413 01:21:01,456 --> 01:21:03,707 - Where do you think you're going? - Out. 1414 01:21:04,334 --> 01:21:06,335 I have just made lunch. 1415 01:21:06,544 --> 01:21:08,837 - When are you coming back? - I don't know, later. 1416 01:21:09,047 --> 01:21:10,923 No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me. 1417 01:21:11,132 --> 01:21:12,925 Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here. 1418 01:21:13,134 --> 01:21:16,595 We will leave with or without you. if you're not here, we're gone. Got it? 1419 01:21:16,804 --> 01:21:18,889 Okay, fine. That's totally fine. 1420 01:21:19,098 --> 01:21:22,017 Wait. Come here. I'd like to have a chat with your friend. 1421 01:21:22,227 --> 01:21:24,645 - Are you kidding me? - I am not kidding you. 1422 01:21:24,854 --> 01:21:26,271 Would you please have a seat. 1423 01:21:27,357 --> 01:21:28,649 What is going on? 1424 01:21:34,614 --> 01:21:38,825 So, Scottie P., what exactly do you do for a living? 1425 01:21:39,077 --> 01:21:41,995 - Mom! - I work for A & J Amusements. 1426 01:21:42,205 --> 01:21:44,665 I'm rocking that Monkey Maze, you know what I'm saying? 1427 01:21:44,874 --> 01:21:49,127 - What the hell is the Monkey Maze? - It's like a Terrifying Deathtrap... 1428 01:21:49,337 --> 01:21:50,712 but for little kids. 1429 01:21:53,508 --> 01:21:54,967 Yeah. 1430 01:21:55,176 --> 01:21:56,843 Hey, those are cool tats, man. 1431 01:21:57,053 --> 01:21:59,221 For real. Thank you, bro. You see the cobra? 1432 01:21:59,597 --> 01:22:01,723 - What's this? The one right there? - This? 1433 01:22:03,518 --> 01:22:05,394 That's my credo. "No ragrets." 1434 01:22:05,603 --> 01:22:08,647 How about that. 1435 01:22:09,190 --> 01:22:11,066 - You have no regrets? - Nope. 1436 01:22:11,276 --> 01:22:14,570 - Like, not even a single letter? - No way. Heh-heh. Not me. 1437 01:22:14,779 --> 01:22:18,532 - Dad. - Well, I love him. I think he's great. 1438 01:22:18,741 --> 01:22:21,410 A real winner. if I were you, I wouldn't use protection. 1439 01:22:21,619 --> 01:22:23,078 Scottie P., you're the man. 1440 01:22:23,288 --> 01:22:25,247 - Yo, for real. Thanks, man. - We're leaving. Bye! 1441 01:22:26,082 --> 01:22:28,417 - Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P. - You too. 1442 01:22:35,008 --> 01:22:36,717 Casey, make good choices! 1443 01:22:39,804 --> 01:22:41,388 Come on, she's gonna be fine. 1444 01:22:41,598 --> 01:22:44,266 Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. 1445 01:22:45,018 --> 01:22:46,977 Actually, she might already be pregnant. 1446 01:22:53,735 --> 01:22:56,445 I cannot believe her. Where the hell is she? 1447 01:22:56,654 --> 01:23:00,324 Look who is concerned about someone other than themselves. 1448 01:23:00,533 --> 01:23:02,492 What? I just want to get back on the road. 1449 01:23:02,702 --> 01:23:04,036 No, I know. 1450 01:23:04,412 --> 01:23:06,163 That kid was a dickhead? 1451 01:23:06,372 --> 01:23:07,664 - Right? - Know what I'm saying? 1452 01:23:07,874 --> 01:23:10,792 - Ha! Jerk. - Unbelievable. 1453 01:23:11,002 --> 01:23:13,337 Must get her shitty taste in men from her mother. 1454 01:23:16,799 --> 01:23:19,134 I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot. 1455 01:23:19,344 --> 01:23:21,762 Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back. 1456 01:23:22,722 --> 01:23:26,224 I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy is very nice. 1457 01:23:26,434 --> 01:23:29,269 He seems like a very good guy. 1458 01:23:29,937 --> 01:23:32,230 Well, he's not. He left. 1459 01:23:32,732 --> 01:23:36,026 Maxed out all my credit cards, cleaned out my bank account... 1460 01:23:36,235 --> 01:23:37,653 jetted out of town. 1461 01:23:37,862 --> 01:23:42,407 He stole my favorite mug. Which was a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him. 1462 01:23:42,617 --> 01:23:45,035 - I'm really sorry about that. That sucks. - Whatever. 1463 01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:48,205 That's what you get for dating a guy who dates strippers. 1464 01:23:48,748 --> 01:23:49,790 Come on. 1465 01:23:49,999 --> 01:23:52,167 You're a lot more than that, Rose, and you know it. 1466 01:23:55,588 --> 01:23:58,423 - What? - Rose is not even my real name. 1467 01:24:00,385 --> 01:24:01,718 What's your real name? 1468 01:24:03,137 --> 01:24:04,304 Sarah. 1469 01:24:05,098 --> 01:24:06,223 With an "h"? 1470 01:24:06,557 --> 01:24:08,892 Yep. Right there at the end. 1471 01:24:09,102 --> 01:24:10,644 It's the best way to spell it. 1472 01:24:10,853 --> 01:24:13,730 - That's what my mother thought. Heh. - Heh. 1473 01:24:15,817 --> 01:24:17,609 Well, David's not my real name either. 1474 01:24:18,027 --> 01:24:20,779 - Really? - I'm being serious. 1475 01:24:22,073 --> 01:24:24,741 Wow. So you're being ser... 1476 01:24:24,951 --> 01:24:27,953 Well, so then, what's your real name? 1477 01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:29,454 Barbara. 1478 01:24:29,664 --> 01:24:31,873 - Barbara? - Yeah, named after my mom. 1479 01:24:32,083 --> 01:24:34,376 So, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.? 1480 01:24:35,712 --> 01:24:37,713 - You're Barbara Jr. - You got it. Yeah, yeah. 1481 01:24:37,922 --> 01:24:40,549 My friends in high school and grade school called me Babs. 1482 01:24:40,758 --> 01:24:42,300 Scarred childhood. 1483 01:24:42,510 --> 01:24:46,430 Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in musical theater, so I was actually revered. 1484 01:24:47,807 --> 01:24:48,849 Very funny. 1485 01:24:50,768 --> 01:24:52,227 You have a hair... 1486 01:24:54,313 --> 01:24:55,772 Yank, or put behind the ear? 1487 01:24:55,982 --> 01:24:57,190 Guess we could... 1488 01:24:58,025 --> 01:24:59,151 tuck it back there. 1489 01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:04,364 Whoa. What's going on in here? 1490 01:25:04,949 --> 01:25:07,701 We should ask you the same thing, young lady! 1491 01:25:07,910 --> 01:25:09,911 - We've been worried sick. - That's right. 1492 01:25:10,121 --> 01:25:12,289 Why are you guys talking like that? 1493 01:25:12,623 --> 01:25:13,665 Shit, is someone here? 1494 01:25:13,875 --> 01:25:16,835 Yeah! Yeah, us. We're here. That's who's here. 1495 01:25:17,170 --> 01:25:19,588 We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch! 1496 01:25:19,797 --> 01:25:21,381 You couldn't have called? Something? 1497 01:25:21,591 --> 01:25:24,509 Or send one of those text messages you're always sending out? 1498 01:25:24,719 --> 01:25:28,847 "Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, #YOLO. 1499 01:25:29,182 --> 01:25:30,640 - Anything! - Okay. 1500 01:25:31,184 --> 01:25:32,601 Fine! Whatever! 1501 01:25:32,810 --> 01:25:34,436 Sorry. 1502 01:25:34,645 --> 01:25:35,896 - Whoa! - Thank you! 1503 01:25:36,105 --> 01:25:37,898 - Was that so hard? - Appreciate that. 1504 01:25:38,107 --> 01:25:41,276 - She learned a new word, Rose. - Thank God. "I'm sorry." 1505 01:25:41,778 --> 01:25:43,612 Un-fucking-believable. 1506 01:25:44,030 --> 01:25:45,405 It's gonna be great. 1507 01:25:46,324 --> 01:25:48,450 There he is. Kenny! 1508 01:25:48,659 --> 01:25:51,119 - Okay, let's go. - My God, you look so much better. 1509 01:25:51,329 --> 01:25:53,580 - Doesn't he? - Like a thousand bucks. Let's go. 1510 01:25:56,417 --> 01:25:58,627 - Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on! - Take it easy! 1511 01:25:58,836 --> 01:26:00,670 - Will you just relax? - Look, I can't... 1512 01:26:01,506 --> 01:26:02,547 - Great. - Aah! 1513 01:26:02,757 --> 01:26:05,217 - Kenny. - That's my elbow. 1514 01:26:05,426 --> 01:26:07,636 - Are you okay? - I think so. 1515 01:26:07,845 --> 01:26:10,472 Look what happens when you run around like a crazy person. 1516 01:26:10,681 --> 01:26:13,683 What do mean? He's fine. Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go. 1517 01:26:13,893 --> 01:26:15,977 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 1518 01:26:16,187 --> 01:26:18,814 - David! - Look, this job has a deadline... 1519 01:26:19,023 --> 01:26:20,899 and it's in four fucking hours. 1520 01:26:21,108 --> 01:26:24,861 if you think I'm gonna lose half a million dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos... 1521 01:26:25,071 --> 01:26:27,364 - ... then you're out of your mind. - Whoa. Wait a second. 1522 01:26:28,074 --> 01:26:31,326 You're making half a million dollars on this deal? 1523 01:26:33,663 --> 01:26:37,624 - Roughly. - I cannot believe you. 1524 01:26:37,834 --> 01:26:39,292 Listen to me. I can explain. 1525 01:26:39,502 --> 01:26:44,673 You are making $500,000 and you were only gonna pay me 30? 1526 01:26:44,882 --> 01:26:48,426 You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting a thousand! 1527 01:26:48,970 --> 01:26:50,470 Wait, you guys are getting paid? 1528 01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:52,138 - You're a liar. - No, no, no. 1529 01:26:52,348 --> 01:26:54,432 - We want to renegotiate. - No. No way. 1530 01:26:54,642 --> 01:26:55,976 - What? David. - No. No way. 1531 01:26:56,185 --> 01:27:00,313 You made your deal with me, I made my deal with Brad. We're getting outta here. 1532 01:27:01,274 --> 01:27:04,651 See? Good. Casey gets it. We're not renegotiating now. Let's go. 1533 01:27:04,861 --> 01:27:08,655 I believe we are, right now, because you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. 1534 01:27:08,865 --> 01:27:10,031 You're right about that. 1535 01:27:10,241 --> 01:27:12,951 I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't for you slowing me down. 1536 01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:16,580 Are you shitting...? Slowing you down? What the hell are you talking...? 1537 01:27:17,206 --> 01:27:19,416 Whoa, where the hell are you going? Hey, hey! 1538 01:27:19,625 --> 01:27:21,459 Hey, I said where are you going? 1539 01:27:21,669 --> 01:27:23,712 You know what? You leave, you get nothing. 1540 01:27:23,921 --> 01:27:25,380 I don't want your money, okay? 1541 01:27:25,590 --> 01:27:28,425 Casey, come back. We have to stay together. 1542 01:27:28,634 --> 01:27:30,176 - Come on! - Why? 1543 01:27:30,928 --> 01:27:32,345 Because we're a family? 1544 01:27:32,805 --> 01:27:35,807 You want to spend Christmas together? Help me with my homework? 1545 01:27:36,142 --> 01:27:39,102 Please. This whole thing has been a total joke. 1546 01:27:40,104 --> 01:27:43,273 No, I'll tell you what the joke is! You want to know what the...? 1547 01:27:44,275 --> 01:27:45,400 The j... 1548 01:27:45,860 --> 01:27:47,485 I'm not gonna tell you the joke! 1549 01:27:47,695 --> 01:27:50,864 You don't deserve to hear the joke! Let's go. 1550 01:27:51,073 --> 01:27:53,491 - I don't think you knew the joke. - I knew a joke. 1551 01:27:53,701 --> 01:27:55,368 We have to go back and get her. 1552 01:27:55,578 --> 01:27:58,079 What? Are you kidding me? She left! Screw her, okay? 1553 01:27:58,289 --> 01:27:59,956 Are you coming with me or not, Rose? 1554 01:28:01,459 --> 01:28:04,836 Fine. I'll slide your check under your door. Kenny, let's go. 1555 01:28:06,589 --> 01:28:08,131 Kenny, come on! Let's go, man. 1556 01:28:08,341 --> 01:28:10,926 We can't leave her, David. It's not right. 1557 01:28:13,638 --> 01:28:15,013 - You know what? - What? 1558 01:28:15,389 --> 01:28:17,182 You all deserve each other. 1559 01:28:20,102 --> 01:28:21,394 Da... Wha...? 1560 01:28:32,406 --> 01:28:33,740 He'll come back. 1561 01:28:34,450 --> 01:28:35,492 Right? 1562 01:28:56,722 --> 01:28:57,764 Yo, girl! 1563 01:28:59,558 --> 01:29:01,893 - I got your text. What's up? - Hey. 1564 01:29:02,103 --> 01:29:03,353 Are you alone? 1565 01:29:03,896 --> 01:29:07,774 Yeah. You think we can go someplace private and talk? 1566 01:29:08,651 --> 01:29:11,194 I know just the spot, you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh. 1567 01:29:22,081 --> 01:29:23,832 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 1568 01:29:24,041 --> 01:29:25,667 Great. That's loud. 1569 01:29:33,801 --> 01:29:37,011 Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh. 1570 01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:39,431 Okay. Ahem. 1571 01:29:39,640 --> 01:29:40,849 Let's get there. 1572 01:29:43,436 --> 01:29:45,228 Hoo. 1573 01:29:46,689 --> 01:29:47,897 Quiet. 1574 01:29:54,780 --> 01:29:56,448 And I knew better too. 1575 01:29:56,657 --> 01:29:58,992 But we were all on the road together... 1576 01:29:59,201 --> 01:30:01,995 and it got kind of fun, you know? 1577 01:30:02,830 --> 01:30:03,872 Yeah. - 1578 01:30:04,457 --> 01:30:07,333 And I started thinking of us as kind of like this... 1579 01:30:08,794 --> 01:30:10,378 Whatever, it's stupid. 1580 01:30:11,422 --> 01:30:13,715 - Fuck them. - Yeah, fuck them. 1581 01:30:13,924 --> 01:30:18,136 Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. is gonna make you feel real good, know what I'm saying? 1582 01:30:18,345 --> 01:30:20,722 - Ha-ha. - Heh. 1583 01:30:20,931 --> 01:30:24,017 I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey and that... 1584 01:30:25,186 --> 01:30:27,020 - I'm just gonna go, okay? - Come on, girl. 1585 01:30:27,229 --> 01:30:29,564 - You texted me. You know what's up. - Scottie. 1586 01:30:29,774 --> 01:30:30,982 Hey! 1587 01:30:31,192 --> 01:30:32,317 Get your hands off of her! 1588 01:30:32,526 --> 01:30:33,818 Come here, Casey. 1589 01:30:34,278 --> 01:30:35,862 You put your hands on her again... 1590 01:30:36,071 --> 01:30:38,740 I will rip that fucking tattoo right off of your chest. 1591 01:30:38,949 --> 01:30:40,033 You know what I'm saying? 1592 01:30:40,242 --> 01:30:42,285 - Really, bitch? - Yeah, bitch. 1593 01:30:42,495 --> 01:30:45,538 You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone, man. 1594 01:30:45,748 --> 01:30:47,373 What are you gonna do, eyebrows? 1595 01:30:48,918 --> 01:30:50,335 One... 1596 01:30:51,086 --> 01:30:52,295 two... 1597 01:30:53,964 --> 01:30:56,090 Broke my nose! 1598 01:30:57,593 --> 01:31:00,428 You're an aggressive woman. Know what I'm saying? 1599 01:31:02,932 --> 01:31:03,973 Are you okay? 1600 01:31:04,183 --> 01:31:06,684 I'm fine. That was awesome. You fucking decked him! 1601 01:31:06,894 --> 01:31:09,187 I've dealt with handsy assholes like him at work. 1602 01:31:09,438 --> 01:31:10,688 Let's just get out of here. 1603 01:31:10,898 --> 01:31:12,690 Thanks for the backup. Why the counting? 1604 01:31:12,900 --> 01:31:15,109 if you're gonna punch someone, punch them on one. 1605 01:31:15,319 --> 01:31:16,694 Well, David told me to count. 1606 01:31:16,904 --> 01:31:19,155 David? David hasn't punched anybody ever. 1607 01:31:23,994 --> 01:31:25,912 I think this way. Exit. 1608 01:31:29,792 --> 01:31:32,293 - I have returned. - Go fuck yourself. 1609 01:31:34,338 --> 01:31:37,549 This is what I miss, right? The ping-pong action. The repartee. 1610 01:31:37,758 --> 01:31:40,176 "Go fuck yourself." "You go fuck yourself." 1611 01:31:40,386 --> 01:31:44,597 Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody." 1612 01:31:44,807 --> 01:31:46,724 - No, we're not getting in the RV. - What? 1613 01:31:46,934 --> 01:31:50,061 Okay. Okay, I know what this is about, and I get it. 1614 01:31:50,563 --> 01:31:53,773 All right? We're gonna split the $500,000. 1615 01:31:54,066 --> 01:31:56,985 Evenly. Betwixt the four of us. 1616 01:31:58,195 --> 01:32:01,281 You guys get what I'm saying here? Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!" 1617 01:32:01,574 --> 01:32:04,784 Like you're from... Right? That's a lot of video games, kiddo. 1618 01:32:04,994 --> 01:32:08,413 All right, Casey, you can buy a house, and run away from it. 1619 01:32:08,789 --> 01:32:11,249 You know what I mean? Like, whatever. You get $125,000. 1620 01:32:11,458 --> 01:32:12,542 You get $125,000. 1621 01:32:12,751 --> 01:32:15,420 You get a... I mean, I'm like fucking Oprah here. You know? 1622 01:32:15,629 --> 01:32:17,755 if she was a white dude at a carnival. 1623 01:32:18,924 --> 01:32:21,843 Okay, look, what do you want? Do you want me to beg? 1624 01:32:22,052 --> 01:32:23,553 Kids? What do you think? 1625 01:32:23,762 --> 01:32:26,472 - That would make me feel a lot better. - Works for me. Sure. 1626 01:32:26,974 --> 01:32:29,142 It's a good thing I'm wearing my begging pants. 1627 01:32:29,351 --> 01:32:31,436 I usually only do this before sex. 1628 01:32:32,980 --> 01:32:35,690 Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going. Please, please. 1629 01:32:35,900 --> 01:32:38,818 Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go. 1630 01:32:39,028 --> 01:32:40,111 Okay! To the RV, let's go. 1631 01:32:40,487 --> 01:32:41,529 Come on, Babs. 1632 01:32:44,909 --> 01:32:47,368 Whoa, whoa. Slow down. There's clowns everywhere. 1633 01:32:47,578 --> 01:32:48,745 Here, let Pops get in here. 1634 01:32:48,954 --> 01:32:51,205 We're right down here. I parked it next to an RV. 1635 01:32:56,128 --> 01:32:57,420 - Melissa. - Kenny. 1636 01:32:57,630 --> 01:32:59,172 - Rose! - Edie. 1637 01:32:59,381 --> 01:33:00,590 - Shit. - Shit. 1638 01:33:00,799 --> 01:33:03,134 I never get used to that language. 1639 01:33:04,219 --> 01:33:08,097 What in the H-E-L-L are you people doing here? 1640 01:33:09,725 --> 01:33:12,060 - We came to see the fireworks. - Yeah. Fireworks. 1641 01:33:12,519 --> 01:33:16,731 Us too! That's so weird! They're supposed to be amazing here. 1642 01:33:16,941 --> 01:33:18,358 - Melissa, can we talk? - No. 1643 01:33:18,567 --> 01:33:20,318 - Mom, come on, let's go. - Melissa! 1644 01:33:20,736 --> 01:33:22,820 Why are you being so rude? 1645 01:33:23,030 --> 01:33:25,615 Do you have your period? Do you need a tampin? 1646 01:33:25,824 --> 01:33:28,826 Mom, I don't need a tampin. I don't want to be near these people. 1647 01:33:29,036 --> 01:33:31,162 - Kenny. Let's go. - We should get out of here. 1648 01:33:31,497 --> 01:33:34,415 - What happened last night was wrong. - Boy. 1649 01:33:36,335 --> 01:33:37,919 My God, she knows. 1650 01:33:39,672 --> 01:33:41,714 My daughter knows what we've done. 1651 01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:45,969 Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts. 1652 01:33:46,595 --> 01:33:50,348 You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure. 1653 01:33:50,557 --> 01:33:55,645 That said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues. 1654 01:33:55,854 --> 01:33:56,980 Okay, no, stop! 1655 01:33:57,189 --> 01:33:58,690 I'm not as tight as I once was. 1656 01:33:58,899 --> 01:34:01,275 - Look... - He just falls right out. 1657 01:34:01,485 --> 01:34:03,528 It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. 1658 01:34:03,737 --> 01:34:05,905 Ew! What are you talking about? 1659 01:34:06,115 --> 01:34:10,410 I saw Kenny making out with his sister and mother while their dad watched. 1660 01:34:11,787 --> 01:34:13,329 What? My...! 1661 01:34:13,539 --> 01:34:16,666 - It wasn't quite like that. - That's not exactly what happened. 1662 01:34:16,875 --> 01:34:19,794 Rose isn't my mom, she's not my sister. We're not a real family. 1663 01:34:20,004 --> 01:34:22,130 That's enough, son! What are you saying? 1664 01:34:22,339 --> 01:34:25,383 He's been drinking. It's hard to understand. He's being ridiculous. 1665 01:34:25,592 --> 01:34:28,261 David hired us to help him smuggle drugs across the border. 1666 01:34:28,470 --> 01:34:29,929 You're drug dealers? 1667 01:34:30,347 --> 01:34:33,307 No! No, we're drug smugglers. There's a difference. 1668 01:34:33,517 --> 01:34:35,101 There's not a difference. 1669 01:34:35,310 --> 01:34:38,062 Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right? 1670 01:34:38,272 --> 01:34:40,606 This is a small misunderstanding. It really is. 1671 01:34:40,816 --> 01:34:43,401 When he says "smuggle," he doesn't know what he's saying. 1672 01:34:43,610 --> 01:34:45,862 - It's not drugs. - He doesn't know what drugs are. 1673 01:34:46,071 --> 01:34:48,031 Seriously. It's just a little tequila. 1674 01:34:49,408 --> 01:34:50,575 What? 1675 01:34:50,784 --> 01:34:51,826 My God! 1676 01:34:52,036 --> 01:34:55,747 - Hey. Thank God you're alive. - He's got a gun! 1677 01:34:55,956 --> 01:34:58,124 Listen! Hey, hey, hey. No, no! Wait, wait, wait! 1678 01:35:03,881 --> 01:35:05,214 This is gonna be fun! 1679 01:35:17,561 --> 01:35:19,145 I still got it. 1680 01:35:19,354 --> 01:35:21,022 Don's a badass. 1681 01:35:21,732 --> 01:35:23,941 Don. 1682 01:35:25,819 --> 01:35:27,570 Melissa, go find a police officer. 1683 01:35:29,156 --> 01:35:30,740 Okay, Don. Don, listen to me. 1684 01:35:30,949 --> 01:35:33,326 No. Drug smuggling, David? 1685 01:35:33,535 --> 01:35:35,495 And to think of the moment we shared. 1686 01:35:35,704 --> 01:35:37,121 No, Don, there's another guy. 1687 01:35:37,664 --> 01:35:39,415 I don't want to hear about other men! 1688 01:35:40,042 --> 01:35:43,461 What? No! No, no! No! There's another guy trying to kill us! 1689 01:35:43,670 --> 01:35:45,046 What? Who? 1690 01:35:45,255 --> 01:35:48,091 Pablo Chacon. 1691 01:35:48,300 --> 01:35:49,425 Buenas noches, Millers. 1692 01:35:49,635 --> 01:35:51,302 What is he saying? What does that mean? 1693 01:35:51,512 --> 01:35:53,221 It's a familiar Mexican greeting. 1694 01:35:53,430 --> 01:35:56,557 You in the short jeans and the funny mustache, give me the gun. 1695 01:35:57,851 --> 01:35:59,060 Melissa. 1696 01:36:01,855 --> 01:36:03,022 And the mug. 1697 01:36:06,026 --> 01:36:07,235 Please don't hurt her. 1698 01:36:08,112 --> 01:36:10,988 - Take her. - Are you okay? It's okay. 1699 01:36:14,660 --> 01:36:15,868 Now the keys, please. 1700 01:36:16,411 --> 01:36:17,537 Here. Here, here, here. 1701 01:36:17,871 --> 01:36:21,082 Okay, great. You have your drugs, so you don't have to kill us. 1702 01:36:21,291 --> 01:36:23,042 I don't have to kill you? 1703 01:36:23,293 --> 01:36:24,335 You take my drugs. 1704 01:36:24,545 --> 01:36:27,505 You make me cross the border into this fucked-up country. 1705 01:36:27,714 --> 01:36:29,841 You try to burn my face with steam! 1706 01:36:30,050 --> 01:36:32,343 - I'm sorry. - You destroy my car! 1707 01:36:34,179 --> 01:36:37,932 And I don't like what you do to my man every time we meet. 1708 01:36:40,269 --> 01:36:42,353 You are the worst family I've ever met. 1709 01:36:44,022 --> 01:36:46,190 But, you're right, I don't have to kill you. 1710 01:36:48,735 --> 01:36:51,112 I want to kill you. All of you. 1711 01:36:51,488 --> 01:36:53,322 Stop. Stop. 1712 01:36:54,992 --> 01:36:57,869 Don't do this. Don't kill these people. 1713 01:36:58,954 --> 01:37:02,540 This is all my fault. I'm the one that did this. I'm the drug dealer here. 1714 01:37:02,749 --> 01:37:04,083 This is an innocent family... 1715 01:37:04,293 --> 01:37:06,544 in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay? 1716 01:37:07,838 --> 01:37:09,130 And this kid? 1717 01:37:09,464 --> 01:37:12,592 This kid's got the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen in my life. 1718 01:37:13,427 --> 01:37:15,052 And I'm lucky to call him a friend. 1719 01:37:15,387 --> 01:37:19,223 Man, an hour ago, I would have killed this girl for you. 1720 01:37:19,433 --> 01:37:22,518 But she's tough as hell. And a lot smarter than me. 1721 01:37:23,812 --> 01:37:25,104 And this one. 1722 01:37:26,690 --> 01:37:29,400 You. Sarah. 1723 01:37:30,444 --> 01:37:32,653 You're the strongest woman I've ever met. 1724 01:37:32,863 --> 01:37:34,614 And you'd make a great mom. 1725 01:37:37,242 --> 01:37:38,784 I love all of them. 1726 01:37:40,871 --> 01:37:42,079 Don't kill them. 1727 01:37:42,664 --> 01:37:43,873 Please. 1728 01:37:45,042 --> 01:37:46,375 Just kill me. 1729 01:37:47,294 --> 01:37:49,754 - Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay? - Okay. 1730 01:37:49,963 --> 01:37:52,340 I kill you first so you don't watch your family die. 1731 01:38:03,435 --> 01:38:04,936 David. 1732 01:38:13,654 --> 01:38:15,488 Kenny! That was amazing! 1733 01:38:22,287 --> 01:38:23,996 I'd like to think I taught him that. 1734 01:38:24,665 --> 01:38:27,250 I know I taught him that. 1735 01:38:29,044 --> 01:38:31,003 Put that tongue back in your mouth, young man. 1736 01:38:34,258 --> 01:38:36,092 Wow. 1737 01:38:36,301 --> 01:38:38,803 - You kiss a lot better than my sister. - Hey! 1738 01:38:40,973 --> 01:38:42,265 One, two, three. 1739 01:38:51,650 --> 01:38:55,611 Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf of the United States of America... 1740 01:38:55,821 --> 01:38:57,863 I'd like to welcome you to our country. 1741 01:38:58,073 --> 01:38:59,448 Grab a seat. 1742 01:39:00,492 --> 01:39:02,868 Sorry you won't get to experience the freedom part. 1743 01:39:03,245 --> 01:39:05,288 Don, you're my hero. 1744 01:39:09,251 --> 01:39:11,085 I want you to use those zip ties tonight. 1745 01:39:25,058 --> 01:39:26,100 Here. 1746 01:39:26,893 --> 01:39:28,185 Thank you, David. 1747 01:39:30,814 --> 01:39:33,107 - We're gonna go. - Not so fast. 1748 01:39:33,317 --> 01:39:34,525 - No, Don. - Dad, please. 1749 01:39:34,735 --> 01:39:36,193 Girls, hush. 1750 01:39:38,989 --> 01:39:40,865 I believe that you are good people. 1751 01:39:41,074 --> 01:39:43,200 But you broke the law. All of you. 1752 01:39:43,493 --> 01:39:46,954 And worse than that, you put my wife and daughter's lives in danger. 1753 01:39:47,497 --> 01:39:50,333 - Sorry. - Gonna have to place you under arrest. 1754 01:39:50,542 --> 01:39:51,792 - Don, why? - No, Dad, don't. 1755 01:39:52,002 --> 01:39:53,461 And I'm gonna do just that... 1756 01:39:54,421 --> 01:39:56,297 right after I turn around... 1757 01:39:57,215 --> 01:39:58,507 and hug my family. 1758 01:40:11,104 --> 01:40:12,605 David, come on. 1759 01:40:20,405 --> 01:40:21,614 It's all here! 1760 01:40:22,032 --> 01:40:24,492 I am blown away, David. Great job. 1761 01:40:24,951 --> 01:40:27,078 But it's late. 1762 01:40:27,537 --> 01:40:30,456 Deadline was last night, so, sorry, buddy, no deal. 1763 01:40:31,416 --> 01:40:34,418 Brad, I almost got killed over this shit. Twice. 1764 01:40:34,628 --> 01:40:38,422 I'm not gonna be an asshole about this. I got two tons of premium weed. 1765 01:40:38,757 --> 01:40:42,468 Yes! And you got Chacon pinched in the process... 1766 01:40:42,677 --> 01:40:45,763 which is a huge win for team Brad. 1767 01:40:45,972 --> 01:40:49,100 So how about we shake hands and call it even. 1768 01:40:51,853 --> 01:40:55,731 - You were never gonna pay me, were you? ! Bingo. Heh-heh. 1769 01:40:57,067 --> 01:40:59,276 Was that a dick move? I can't even tell anymore. 1770 01:41:02,572 --> 01:41:04,323 - Move! - Go! Go! Go! 1771 01:41:05,158 --> 01:41:06,200 DEA! 1772 01:41:07,119 --> 01:41:09,328 - Down, down, down! - Get on the ground! Freeze! 1773 01:41:11,498 --> 01:41:12,957 Clear! 1774 01:41:15,252 --> 01:41:16,419 You double-crossed me. 1775 01:41:16,753 --> 01:41:18,295 Kind of a dick move, right? 1776 01:41:19,381 --> 01:41:20,923 You got nothing on me! 1777 01:41:21,216 --> 01:41:22,633 Nothing at all. 1778 01:41:23,635 --> 01:41:26,178 Shit! Look at this guy. 1779 01:41:26,388 --> 01:41:28,264 Who let in 50 Cent? 1780 01:41:29,850 --> 01:41:32,017 - Nice work, David. - Thank you, Don. 1781 01:41:32,227 --> 01:41:34,270 Now, I know you don't get your money... 1782 01:41:34,479 --> 01:41:37,606 but doing the right thing had to feel a whole lot better. 1783 01:41:38,024 --> 01:41:39,400 No. 1784 01:41:40,026 --> 01:41:41,360 All right, maybe a little bit. 1785 01:41:41,570 --> 01:41:46,031 As promised, in exchange for your testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger... 1786 01:41:46,241 --> 01:41:49,493 we have to keep you in witness protection for three to six months. 1787 01:41:49,703 --> 01:41:52,121 - Just me? - Just you. 1788 01:41:54,708 --> 01:41:58,586 And any other witnesses to the crime. 1789 01:42:09,431 --> 01:42:11,182 - There you are. - I don't care. 1790 01:42:11,391 --> 01:42:13,392 - Look at this hot nerd. - Rub some dirt on it. 1791 01:42:13,602 --> 01:42:15,102 - What are you doing? - Look at this. 1792 01:42:17,314 --> 01:42:21,150 You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this stuff. It's already got a million hits... 1793 01:42:21,485 --> 01:42:22,693 and growing. 1794 01:42:22,903 --> 01:42:25,863 Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch. Oof, you know what else? 1795 01:42:26,072 --> 01:42:27,615 I can see down your tank top. 1796 01:42:34,372 --> 01:42:35,456 - Hey there. - Hey. 1797 01:42:35,665 --> 01:42:38,751 - Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan. - Hey, Dan. 1798 01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:40,794 My wife, Kathy. We just moved in. 1799 01:42:41,254 --> 01:42:42,630 - Hello. - We're the Johnsons. 1800 01:42:42,839 --> 01:42:44,924 Great. Welcome to the neighborhood. 1801 01:42:45,383 --> 01:42:46,884 Hey, guys. Come here. 1802 01:42:47,093 --> 01:42:48,219 Come meet our neighbors. 1803 01:42:48,428 --> 01:42:49,470 I'm David. 1804 01:42:49,846 --> 01:42:51,764 And this is my family right here. 1805 01:42:51,973 --> 01:42:53,182 This is my son, Kenny. 1806 01:42:53,391 --> 01:42:54,516 My daughter, Casey. 1807 01:42:54,726 --> 01:42:57,228 - And this is my wife, Sarah. - Nice to meet you. 1808 01:42:57,437 --> 01:42:59,939 - We're the Millers. - Pleasure. 1809 01:43:00,148 --> 01:43:02,441 Thanks for saying hi. All right, take care now. 1810 01:43:02,651 --> 01:43:04,526 - See you soon. Bye. - Bye. 1811 01:43:04,861 --> 01:43:07,029 - I don't like them. - I don't like them either. 1812 01:43:07,239 --> 01:43:09,615 Why introduce yourself? I mean, who the fuck are you? 1813 01:43:09,824 --> 01:43:12,785 I can't believe this. We're stuck in the suburbs. 1814 01:43:12,994 --> 01:43:16,956 Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the trial to be over. Gotta get outta here. 1815 01:43:22,295 --> 01:43:23,337 Stick to the big A. 1816 01:43:23,546 --> 01:43:25,047 - Anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 1817 01:43:25,257 --> 01:43:27,007 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses... 1818 01:43:27,217 --> 01:43:29,843 Oscars! For all of you! 1819 01:43:30,053 --> 01:43:33,055 That's very nice of you, but we're not that good of an actor, no. 1820 01:43:36,518 --> 01:43:38,769 - Those guys are picking on that girl. - Where? 1821 01:43:41,147 --> 01:43:42,398 And, action. 1822 01:43:44,567 --> 01:43:46,485 It takes two men to open this mini-fridge. 1823 01:43:47,028 --> 01:43:49,029 Aah! 1824 01:43:49,239 --> 01:43:53,117 It's literally so hard! 1825 01:43:54,327 --> 01:43:56,537 - Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak... Ha-ha-ha! 1826 01:43:57,080 --> 01:43:58,956 - Look, look, look. - Leave the girls alone. 1827 01:43:59,165 --> 01:44:02,209 What are you gonna do, freckles? What are you gonna do, Don Knotts? 1828 01:44:02,419 --> 01:44:04,545 What are you gonna do, guy with great posture? 1829 01:44:06,840 --> 01:44:09,008 Broke my nose! 1830 01:44:09,384 --> 01:44:11,635 I'm terrified of blood, you know what I'm saying? 1831 01:44:11,970 --> 01:44:14,847 You just deviated my septum, you know what I'm saying? 1832 01:44:15,056 --> 01:44:18,517 I want a Band-Aid. 1833 01:44:33,158 --> 01:44:35,784 It just stopped at a certain point... 1834 01:44:35,994 --> 01:44:38,370 and you just couldn't insert it any more. 1835 01:44:38,580 --> 01:44:41,707 Well, I just looked like I had, like, a Stormtrooper dick. 1836 01:44:45,170 --> 01:44:48,172 So I'm just gonna... There we go. There they are. 1837 01:44:48,381 --> 01:44:49,423 This is crazy. 1838 01:44:49,632 --> 01:44:52,718 Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous breasts. 1839 01:44:55,263 --> 01:44:56,930 Cut! All right. Cut. 1840 01:44:57,557 --> 01:44:59,266 - And, action. - Whoo! 1841 01:44:59,476 --> 01:45:02,353 - How about a little victory music, shall we? - Yes, please. 1842 01:45:05,523 --> 01:45:07,191 - I love this song! - This is awesome! 1843 01:45:10,737 --> 01:45:15,449 You're job's a joke, you're broke Your love life's D.O.A. 1844 01:45:15,658 --> 01:45:18,619 I'll be there for you 1845 01:45:18,828 --> 01:45:20,287 When the rain starts to fall 1846 01:45:20,497 --> 01:45:23,624 I'll be there for you 1847 01:45:23,833 --> 01:45:26,335 'Cause you're there for me too 1848 01:45:26,544 --> 01:45:28,837 That was really good. 1849 01:45:30,799 --> 01:45:33,050 That's very funny. 1850 01:49:43,551 --> 01:49:45,552 Adiós, Millers.