1 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,506 Hiya! You're always fucking late, you, aren't you? 2 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,633 - Sorry. - Oh, it's good to see you. 3 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,805 And you. 4 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,051 - Come in. - You look really good. 5 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,975 - Get in! - Is Jamie through there? 6 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,938 Yeah, they're in the living room, they're all in there. 7 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,730 - Cathy, your oven's not working. - Don't worry about it, it'll be all right. 8 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,898 All right? 9 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,699 All right? 10 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,031 - How you doing? - Yeah, good. 11 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,496 - I made a bet you'd be on time tonight. - Sorry. 12 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,910 - Hiya! - Hiya. 13 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,704 I had a late shift at work. 14 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,747 - Well, you're here now. Beer? - Yeah, cheers. 15 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,791 And something to get you started. 16 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,085 - All right, Russ? - All right, Johnny. How you doing? 17 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,087 This is Damien. 18 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,710 All right, mate? 19 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,633 - Get that down you, warm your cockles. - Cheers. 20 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,554 - There you go. - Thanks, buddy. 21 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,568 Here we are! 22 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:08,030 There's no poppadoms, I'm sorry, we're out. 23 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,363 What have we got? 24 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,575 Here, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie! 25 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,370 Have you got a plate, Johnny? Hold on. 26 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,410 - We haven't got enough plates. - We haven't got enough plates. 27 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,250 - This is doing my head in. - Take these off me. 28 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,290 - Get lost. - it's all right, we'll share. 29 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,258 - Cath, have you got another plate? - Another plate? Have we not got enough? 30 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,500 No. 31 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,298 You need one, as well. Get two. 32 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,763 You can eat from the packet, you'll be fine. 33 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,470 - I'll just have a small one. - I'll have any one. 34 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,811 Actually, you should have the small one cos you were late. 35 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,807 All right, this stag do, right, I'm thinking, a few... 36 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:46,026 couple of beers, go out, you know, sambucas, all that- 37 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,190 - strip club. - Definitely. 38 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,108 No, you're not having a stripper. 39 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,780 - No, no, no, you're not invited. - You're not having a stripper! 40 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,777 You've got to have a stripper. It's traditional, isn't it? 41 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,620 - It is traditional. - Tradition. 42 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,661 It's not traditional, it's foul. 43 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,829 I'm not going to have a stripper. I don't see why you should. 44 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:05,250 It's not foul. Get a classy one. It's just natural - get a classy one! 45 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,169 Russ, you wouldn't like a stripper, would you? 46 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,839 - I don't know, I don't... - Yeah, he's all right with a stripper, 47 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,586 in't you, eh? 48 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,629 Right? So... 49 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,134 Russ starts a little fire, nice and cosy in the middle of the field, 50 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,306 and before you know it these fifth years come along 51 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,350 and they're just adding wood and adding wood, 52 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,351 there's a big line of people just adding wood. The fire is fucking massive. 53 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,194 The flames are higher than this house. 54 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,403 Look, I'm not joking! 55 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,443 - And then we are... And then... - It's true. 56 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,987 any minute, we're surrounded by police, 57 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,236 the whole perimeter of the entire field 58 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,705 with those million-power candle torches things. 59 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:44,201 And an Astra burns on, full beam, 60 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,876 and we all scarper, you're fucking left there stoned out your mind! 61 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,001 You are coming on Sunday, aren't you? 62 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,297 You're joking? 63 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,100 I don't think I can handle it without you being there. 64 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,890 I can't wait, mate. 65 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,309 I've got Lois the sweetest little present. 66 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,228 - Yeah? - Yeah. 67 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:12,400 That's nice. Well, of course you have - that's why we made you the godfather. 68 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,738 - It's nice to see you, mate. - Yeah. 69 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,281 You've been keeping a low profile recently. 70 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,621 - Mmm. - Anything to tell? 71 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,039 Er... 72 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,039 Yeah, there's... there's a promotion at work. 73 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,086 - Ah, promotion. - Been doing a few extra shifts. 74 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:35,177 Come on, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in! 75 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,590 - All right? - All right, mate? 76 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,713 Here, give us that. 77 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,512 Eh? What do you reckon? 78 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,510 You look lovely. 79 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,434 - You look lovely! - No, you look nice. 80 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,683 I look like, er... 81 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,230 - Kavana! - Kavana! 82 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,945 - QC? - You're always such a muppet! 83 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,986 Give us the thing. Where is it? 84 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,984 Got a lighter? Yeah. 85 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,611 I've gotta go, I'm knackered. 86 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,658 Oh, I'm having a really good night, let's keep it going. 87 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,498 Jamie, I've got to work in the morning, and I'm a bit stoned, 88 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,583 - but I'll see you on Sunday. - Yeah, all right, yeah. 89 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,954 It'll be fun. All right? 90 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,501 - Give my love to the little one. - Yeah, OK, mate. 91 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,216 - All right, mate, see ya. - Bye, mate. 92 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,248 - Morning. - All right? 93 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,458 - How you feeling? - Pretty rough. 94 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,054 Gonna give me the coffee? 95 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,974 Thank you! 96 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,678 Ooh! Shit. 97 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,646 It's all right, don't worry about it. 98 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,312 What time do you start work? 99 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,605 Er, 10 o'clock. 100 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,897 - Got a bit of time, then. - Mmm. 101 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,023 Get back into bed. 102 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,622 You were pretty wasted last night. 103 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,868 - Sorry. - Don't have to apologise. 104 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,791 Was I a dick? 105 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,206 I had to save you from the Hobbit. 106 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,054 Don't be nasty. He was all right. 107 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,507 Bit camp. 108 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,305 Nice smile though. 109 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,809 Is that what you go for, a nice smile? 110 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,351 No. 111 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,893 Just little people. 112 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,159 What? 113 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,038 - Have I got morning breath? - No, quite the contrary. 114 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,249 - Have you brushed your teeth? - No. 115 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,743 - I can smell toothpaste. - So? 116 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:47,170 Now you've broken an unwritten rule, because now you smell all minty fresh 117 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,713 and I smell of cock and bum! 118 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,644 So, did you like the club? 119 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,444 Did you like the club? 120 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,411 Not really, no! 121 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,871 I hated it. 122 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,865 Right, you ready, then? 123 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,868 For what? 124 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,370 You can't get out of it now, you promised me, 125 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:28,965 - and I've come for my pound of flesh. - I thought you were joking. 126 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,086 Course not. Do you think I would have slept with you otherwise? 127 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,099 - Well, I'm not doing it. - Oh, yeah, you are! 128 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,140 What kind of stuff is it you want me to say? 129 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,013 Er, anything you like. 130 00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,265 Just talk about last night, you know, what happened, 131 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,893 what you wanted to happen. it's up to you, really. 132 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,111 - Why? - Just because. 133 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,856 - It's for an art project? - Yeah. 134 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:56,076 And you're just gonna lie there and record me speaking. 135 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,193 Exactly. 136 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,537 And people are going to listen to it. 137 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,622 If you make the grade, yeah. 138 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,293 Oh, come on. Erm... 139 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,798 I... I don't know. I can hardly remember anything. 140 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,340 Just start from the beginning when you first saw me. 141 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,511 - I don't know, I just saw you. - Oh, come on, stop stalling. Just talk. 142 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,767 All right. 143 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,979 OK. Erm... 144 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,724 I saw you in the club 145 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,193 and I thought you were... 146 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,530 I thought you were out of my league or whatever. 147 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,320 - Erm, I liked your T-shirt a lot. - What league are you in? 148 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,910 I don't know. Erm... 149 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,330 third division? 150 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,290 I don't think you believe that for a moment. 151 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,159 Then you, erm... 152 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:50,380 followed me into the toilets and tried to eye me up at the urinal - hot. 153 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,966 Well, you left. 154 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,211 - And then I left. - Why? 155 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,259 There was someone else I wanted, but by the time I found him 156 00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,972 he was with someone else, so... 157 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,091 So I was your second choice? 158 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,266 Why does that matter? 159 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,265 This is a stupid fucking conversation. 160 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,516 Did you hear that? 161 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,643 - Queer? - No. 162 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,735 Oh, look! 163 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,985 - Queer! - Glen... 164 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,454 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 165 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,491 - Glen. Please just close the fucking window. - Leave him alone! 166 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,493 - Fuck off! - What did you say? 167 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,791 - Fuck off! - I swear to God, if you don't quit, 168 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:34,587 I'm gonna come down there and fucking rape your holes, do you hear me? 169 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,181 - Ooh, it's cold out there. - Sorry, what... what was that? 170 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,848 That was fun. 171 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,314 They're gonna fucking chuck bricks through my windows. 172 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,559 You live 14 flights up. 173 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,065 "I'm going to rape your holes"? 174 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:03,029 Fucking hell. 175 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,531 Who says that? Who... 176 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:16,424 And, erm... Yeah, we came back here, didn't we, obviously. 177 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,966 And, er, I offered you a drink, I think, 178 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,054 although I can't really remember. 179 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,299 Erm... 180 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,223 And then you kissed me in the hallway, in my hallway. 181 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,562 - And I groped you. - Did you? 182 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,681 And you groped me. 183 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,602 And I was happy to feel you had a big dick 184 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:39,230 and it was throbbing in your trousers, 185 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,450 which was surprising because you were so drunk. 186 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,946 And then we went into the bedroom. 187 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:49,074 Can you remember what you wanted to happen? 188 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,075 Mmm, nope. 189 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,202 What about when I took your top off? 190 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,121 Nope. 191 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,374 I wanted to lick your pits. 192 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,592 I've got a thing about pits. 193 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,336 - Come on, lift up. - No. 194 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,338 - Let me have a see. - No. 195 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,555 Come on. 196 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:05,673 - No! - Why not? 197 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,050 - Cos it's weird. - it's not weird. 198 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,927 - Yes, it is, it's weird. - Let me have a look. 199 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,394 No. 200 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,479 You're pathetic. 201 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:13,974 Stingy bitch, open up. 202 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,099 All right. 203 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,228 I'll show you, OK? But don't touch my pits. 204 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,446 God, what is this, a museum? 205 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,780 Open! 206 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,400 OK. 207 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,369 See? Very nice. Good amount of hair. 208 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:32,329 And then, er, you started to jack me off. 209 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,082 - No, I didn't. - Yeah, you did. 210 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,127 - Nope. I didn't. - I thought you were too drunk to remember. 211 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,342 We were in the hallway and we were kissing, 212 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,757 and like you said, you took my shirt off. 213 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,380 Erm... 214 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:50,393 I remember that because I was really sweaty 215 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,558 and I was worried that I was going to be all smelly. 216 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,680 - You were fine. - Good. Thank you. 217 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,853 - Then what? - Erm... 218 00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,399 OK, then you started kissing my ears and then you kissed my neck 219 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,522 and then you kissed my... 220 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:07,114 then you kissed my hand, which was... 221 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,366 Yeah. 222 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,957 Did you wish my cock was bigger? 223 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:18,754 No. 224 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,416 Have you had many cut cocks? 225 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,168 Why do you ask that? 226 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,511 I couldn't work out if you were... 227 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,347 pretending to be the type of boy who didn't suck many cocks 228 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,843 or you... you actually were that type of boy. 229 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,100 And this is what you were thinking about, is it, when we were having sex? 230 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,644 What about when I was playing with your arsehole? 231 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,518 - Why do you ask these things? - Too hard, too soft? 232 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,190 It was fine. 233 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,779 Erm... 234 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,117 - It was too hard, maybe. - So why didn't you say anything? 235 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,578 And you didn't want me to fuck you. 236 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,322 No, I didn't. 237 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,948 Why? 238 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,494 - Just because. - You're not into the... 239 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,245 It's not that, it's just... 240 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:03,546 Would it have made you feel too gay? 241 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,882 In fact, are you actually out? 242 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,225 - Yes. - Are you sure about that? 243 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,520 I just thought that we were having a really nice time 244 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,615 and it was lovely, it was more than enough for me, 245 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:32,033 so, erm, sorry, Glen, if I don't make your grade. 246 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,633 - How do you save it? - Er... 247 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,759 You've done it, that's fine. 248 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,646 So, then. 249 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,398 Did you have a good time last night? 250 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,361 Last night was sweet, yeah. 251 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,825 Well, it was a delight to meet you. And you really do have a lovely home. 252 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,363 Thank you. 253 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,790 See you soon. 254 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,060 Queer! 255 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,992 Fuck it. 256 00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:59,068 Ain't looking like a big boy now though, cos that bitch ain't even clean downstairs, 257 00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,287 I don't want to tell you the destruction that was going on down there. 258 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:04,407 - Really? - It weren't clean! 259 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,455 Anyhow, I'm thinking, "What can I do? What can I do? What can I do?" 260 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:10,455 I'm like, "All right, I'm not gonna get hard, fuck it, I'll use the finger." 261 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:14,300 Turn the lights off, and start thinking of something nice while I finger her, 262 00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:17,215 get fucking squelching it down, I might be able to get hard later. 263 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,089 Got two fingers, like the scissor thing, 264 00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:21,716 three fingers, four fingers, 265 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,593 got my fucking whole hand in like that. 266 00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:26,470 Fucking jab her and that. Aargh, get in there, you bastard! 267 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,599 - Anyway, I didn't fucking shag her. - I was gonna say, what the fuck, like? 268 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,976 Fuckin' hell, he's on his phone, isn't he? 269 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:35,571 Who are you fucking talking to? You get lucky as well, did you, son? 270 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:39,943 - No, no. - No? Ah, he's a fucking shy one, isn't he? 271 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,239 Don't worry, it weren't Becky. 272 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,237 It weren't Becky. You can fucking have her, mate. 273 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,206 Bring your rubber gloves next time and we'll fucking go twos up, eh? 274 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:49,372 - Do the David Seaman on her. - Shut up! 275 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,187 Afternoon. 276 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,239 There you go, you might need it. 277 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,942 - Cheers. - That's all right. 278 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,779 Chin-chin. 279 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,013 What a beauty. 280 00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:48,932 Thank you. 281 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:53,524 I got it in a charity shop for, like, 30 quid, it was a bargain. 282 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,692 So, do you enjoy your job? 283 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,156 Yeah, it's all right. 284 00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:05,028 There's nothing wrong with being a lifeguard, you know. 285 00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:07,371 I didn't say there was. 286 00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161 I'm just saying. 287 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,873 I was in the swimming team with one of my schools, so... 288 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:19,174 - You ever save anyone's life? - Yeah. 289 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,634 Really? 290 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:22,424 Yeah. 291 00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,923 What's funny about that? I've saved loads of people's lives. 292 00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:30,098 Old people mainly, but I've been a lifeguard for years, so it's... 293 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:33,555 Someone drowned once. 294 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,358 - I was off duty though, so... - Oh, shame. 295 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:37,727 Yeah, I know. 296 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:49,368 Fuck me! 297 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,081 You all right? 298 00:24:54,201 --> 00:24:56,203 You need to stop smoking, mate. 299 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,330 It's all right, I'll get you a free day pass. 300 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,509 This is a nice place you've brought me to. 301 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:05,721 So what do you do now? I can't really remember, sorry. 302 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:08,887 - I work in the gallery in town. - That's right, I remember. 303 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,260 Have you ever been? 304 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:12,478 No. That's the ugly one, right? 305 00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:15,143 - Do you like art? - Yeah. 306 00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:17,816 It doesn't matter if you don't. 307 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:22,439 No, I like art. Just because I haven't been to a gallery doesn't mean I don't. 308 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,867 Have you travelled much? 309 00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:28,782 No, not really. 310 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,906 - Have you ever been to America? - No, I'd like to though. 311 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:33,783 Listen, want a backie? 312 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:36,664 No. 313 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:41,920 You can't be... No, I can't. 314 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,590 - Come on, put your leg over. - Fuck's sake! 315 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,838 I look like a twat! 316 00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:48,885 Oh, Jesus. Ah, fuck! 317 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:51,850 You on? OK, put your arms around my waist. 318 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,345 Come on, there we go. Do you feel safe? 319 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,223 - No! - Good. 320 00:25:57,347 --> 00:26:00,226 - You ready? - This is a bad idea! 321 00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:03,445 It's a brilliant idea. 322 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,277 Whoo-ooo! 323 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,530 Scream if you want to go faster! 324 00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:58,292 I like all your stuff. 325 00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,785 Thanks. 326 00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,713 Looks like you raided a charity shop. 327 00:27:03,831 --> 00:27:05,174 Yeah. 328 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:09,507 I hate new stuff, you know? 329 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,177 - What are you writing? - Nothing. 330 00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:23,517 Like this mug, for example. 331 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:28,489 This was probably owned by some lovely little old lady with a moustache. 332 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:29,606 Mmm. 333 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:33,486 And she bought it and it was her favourite thing in the whole wide world, 334 00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,614 and then she died, gave it to her grandchildren, 335 00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:40,288 they hated it, sold it, 336 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,457 then bought an Xbox or a Wii 337 00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:47,300 - or some flat-pack wardrobe from Ikea. - Mmm. 338 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:52,383 And now I've got it, and I like it. 339 00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:55,633 - It's a very costly mug. - What do you mean? 340 00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,260 To be able to buy a Wii... 341 00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:01,351 or an Xbox. 342 00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:05,275 I don't even know how much those things are. 343 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,394 Do you want milk, sugar? 344 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,156 Yeah, one of those. 345 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:12,775 OK. 346 00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:17,329 Just got to wait for the kettle to boil. 347 00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:22,118 Are you hungry? 348 00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:23,289 No. 349 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:25,583 I've got some nice pitta bread. 350 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,331 I'm fine. 351 00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:30,380 Well, I'm starving, so I'm going to have to eat. 352 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:31,501 OK. 353 00:28:31,627 --> 00:28:34,972 I've been thinking about this morning and your tape thing. 354 00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,590 Mm-hm. 355 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,683 - It's for an art project, yeah? - Yeah. 356 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,725 So is that what you want to be, you want to be an artist? 357 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,519 Kind of. 358 00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:49,269 So, and you really don't have to tell me, 359 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:52,193 how is your tape art project 360 00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:59,156 just going to be an art project and not people talking dirty? 361 00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:02,199 You think talking about sex is dirty? 362 00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:03,826 You know what I mean. 363 00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:06,541 It's just I'm not sure if... 364 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:11,167 people want to hear about the random sex life of strangers. 365 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:15,133 You just don't want people hearing about your sex life. 366 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:17,052 That's true. 367 00:29:18,465 --> 00:29:20,968 Imagine if everybody was just open 368 00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,016 about what they did and that everything was normal. 369 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:26,231 - Yeah, but people are open, aren't they? - Are they? 370 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,777 There was this guy in work today, 371 00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:31,691 I'm just sat there having my lunch, 372 00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:34,656 and he starts talking about how many fingers he can put up a girl's fanny. 373 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,946 But was he gay? 374 00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:38,740 - No. - Well, there you go, then. 375 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,908 You like a lot of Condiments, don't you? 376 00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:42,952 I love my Condiments. 377 00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:45,747 Gay people never talk about it in public 378 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,413 unless it's just cheap innuendo. 379 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,625 I think it's cos they're ashamed. 380 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,929 Maybe it's just they're a little bit embarrassed. 381 00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,923 Isn't that the same thing? 382 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,176 It smells of spunk. 383 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:05,100 Anyway, that tape thing isn't really about sex at all. 384 00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:07,188 Really? 385 00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:09,559 But I know what artists sound like when they talk about their work, 386 00:30:09,683 --> 00:30:12,277 so I'm not going to sit and sound like a cunt. 387 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:14,396 Well, it's a good job you're not an artist yet, then, isn't it? 388 00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,523 Ooh, very funny! 389 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,656 Come on, tell me. I'm interested. 390 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,744 All right. 391 00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:29,086 Well, you know what it's like when you first sleep with someone you don't know? 392 00:30:29,202 --> 00:30:30,454 Yeah. 393 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:36,589 It's... You, like, become this blank canvas 394 00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:40,635 and it gives you an opportunity to project onto that canvas who you want to be. 395 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:45,386 And that's what's interesting, because everybody does it. 396 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:50,395 - So, do you think that I did it? - Course you did. 397 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:53,985 Well, what happens is, 398 00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:56,651 while you're projecting who you want to be, 399 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:01,410 this gap opens up between who you want to be 400 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,403 and who you really are, 401 00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:06,327 and in that gap, it shows you 402 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:10,123 what's stopping you becoming who you want to be. 403 00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,416 And all of this from talking about sex? 404 00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:16,128 All of that from talking about sex. 405 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,506 Interesting. 406 00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:21,634 I like it. 407 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:26,181 I'm not sure that I totally understand what you're saying, but... 408 00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:28,303 Yeah, all this sounds better in my head, I don't think I've explained... 409 00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:30,522 No, no, no, no, no. 410 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:33,188 I'm interested. I'm really interested. 411 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,730 So what are you gonna do? 412 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:38,446 - Are you just gonna play the recordings out loud... - I don't know, I don't know. 413 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:43,911 The problem is that no one's gonna come and see it, because it's about gay sex. 414 00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:48,995 So the gays will only come because they want a glimpse of a cock and they'll be... 415 00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:53,246 And the straights won't come because, well, it's got nothing to do with their world. 416 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:58,379 They'll go and see pictures of refugees or murder or rape, 417 00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,969 but gay sex? Fuck off. 418 00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:05,220 Fuck it. 419 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,217 Doesn't matter, does it? 420 00:32:08,552 --> 00:32:10,554 I'd come. 421 00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:14,976 - No, you wouldn't. - Yeah, I would. 422 00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:18,986 OK, maybe I... 423 00:32:21,231 --> 00:32:23,108 Maybe I wouldn't come. 424 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,870 Make sure you put your thumb over the hole. 425 00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:37,373 - Do you want me to light it for you? - Yeah. 426 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,468 Tuck in. 427 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:51,057 Here, do it again. 428 00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:58,151 That's it. 429 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,114 Are you out to your parents? 430 00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:10,364 Are you out to your parents? You don't look like the kind of boy who would be. 431 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,042 Well... 432 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,458 - Well what? - it's complicated. 433 00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:20,583 It's not complicated, you just have to do it. 434 00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:23,335 I came out to mine on Mothers Day. 435 00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:26,009 - How old were you? - Sixteen. 436 00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:28,257 - Did they freak out? - No. 437 00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:32,261 I told them nature or nurture, it's your fault, so get over it. 438 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,058 Good answer. 439 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,519 - I would, but... - But what? 440 00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,607 I don't really know my parents. 441 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,907 Actually, I don't know who they are at all. 442 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:56,039 That's interesting. 443 00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:58,203 It's fine. 444 00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:01,464 So what happened? 445 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,048 Well, erm... 446 00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:10,261 I moved around in foster homes until I was about 16. 447 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:13,518 Mm-hm. Fuck. 448 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:17,814 I met my best mate there, Jamie, when we were 12. 449 00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:22,186 Er, yeah, it was nice, we just went around as a pair. 450 00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:25,230 Fucking hell. What was it like? 451 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:27,194 What? 452 00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,201 Being in care. 453 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:34,702 It was fine. I mean, I wasn't abused or anything. 454 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,825 Shame. You should have got a refund. 455 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,130 - So, does... does he know about you? - Who? 456 00:34:42,247 --> 00:34:44,124 - Jamie. - Yeah. 457 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,877 Yeah, I'm like his brother, really. 458 00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:49,346 Everyone knows about me in my friends. 459 00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:51,180 The close ones anyway. 460 00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:56,728 What? 461 00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:01,357 What? 462 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:06,321 Is it really wrong that I'm finding the whole... orphan thing pretty sexy? 463 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:10,821 Oh, my God. 464 00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:14,575 What's wrong with you? 465 00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:17,749 Sorry, I think it's the weed! 466 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:21,870 Are you serious... Are you laughing at my childhood tragedy? 467 00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:27,505 I just got an image of you as Oliver with Mr Bumble! 468 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,088 Oh, fucking hell. 469 00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:34,136 - I'm a bad person. - Yeah, you are. 470 00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:37,431 - I'm a terrible cunt. - You're a terrible cunt. 471 00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:31,337 So, do you live with Gill all the time? 472 00:37:31,458 --> 00:37:33,085 Er, yeah, she's my flatmate. 473 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:35,712 She's all right, she keeps out the way. 474 00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:38,886 - I quite liked her. - Yeah, she's a good girl. 475 00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,640 Well, thank you for this afternoon. 476 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,354 Er, thank you. 477 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:47,145 Erm, so I'll give you a call later. 478 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,108 - OK. - OK. 479 00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:51,106 I will. 480 00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:54,484 Bye. 481 00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:11,627 - All right? - Hello again. Look... 482 00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,876 there's something I didn't tell you. 483 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,377 Have you got a boyfriend? 484 00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:18,881 No, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't do boyfriends. Erm... 485 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,758 I'm going away tomorrow. 486 00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,930 - Cool, where are you going? - Portland. It's in Oregon. 487 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,102 Very nice. How long are you going for? 488 00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:30,897 About two years, I think, maybe more. 489 00:38:32,894 --> 00:38:35,613 Oh, I thought you meant, like, for a holiday or something. 490 00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,529 No, I'm doing a course. Erm... 491 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:43,577 "Contemporary Perspectives of Modern Art in the 21st Century." 492 00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:47,325 So you're doing an art course. 493 00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:50,496 - Glen, that's... that's really great. - I should have said something. 494 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:51,746 No. 495 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,295 It's fine. It's... It's great. 496 00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,420 Honestly, you... you didn't have to tell me. 497 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,547 Honestly - an art course. 498 00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,934 You... You get to be a proper cunt now. 499 00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,264 I've told you now, so I'm gonna go. 500 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:15,980 Hey, erm, what are you doing tonight? Cos I'm having some drinks with some friends 501 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,323 and it would be pretty cool if you came along, 502 00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:22,444 but it's up to you, cos I don't wanna kind of put pressure on you or anything, 503 00:39:22,569 --> 00:39:25,072 so I'll send you a text or something 504 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,198 and then you can come or not come 505 00:39:27,323 --> 00:39:30,497 and it's up to you, it doesn't matter either way, OK? 506 00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,666 All right, all right, all right. 507 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:03,882 - All right? - All right? 508 00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:06,506 - How you doing? - Yeah, not too bad, yeah. You all right? 509 00:41:06,631 --> 00:41:09,555 Look, Cathy's gone up town with Lois - do you want to come round? 510 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,555 - Are you up to anything? - Has she? Erm... 511 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:15,727 I might have plans later, actually. 512 00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:17,976 Oh. All right. Well... 513 00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:21,480 Erm, going out, party, I think. 514 00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:25,112 - OK, what, like a work thing? - No. 515 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:28,453 Er, no, I've actually... I met somebody. Someone I met. 516 00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:30,071 - Oh, right, oh, nice one! - Yeah. 517 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:32,824 When did you meet them? 518 00:41:32,949 --> 00:41:35,873 Er, I met him last night at Propaganda. It's a gay bar. 519 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:38,998 You said you were going home when you left. 520 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:40,669 Mmm, yeah, sorry, mate. 521 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:44,294 I was going home, but I was just on the bus and I was thinking, 522 00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:47,514 so I just... I changed my mind, so, sorry. 523 00:41:47,630 --> 00:41:49,883 No, that's all right. What's his name, then? 524 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:52,510 - Glen. - Glen? 525 00:41:52,635 --> 00:41:54,558 Well, look, why don't you bring him tomorrow? 526 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:56,522 No. No way. 527 00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:58,357 Go on, it'll be fine! 528 00:41:58,474 --> 00:42:00,647 - No. - What's the problem? 529 00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:04,530 - OK. - Well, it's up to you, whatever 530 00:42:04,647 --> 00:42:08,948 - Listen, he's going away anyway, so... - Oh, right, I see. 531 00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:11,912 I've got to go, Jamie, so I'll catch you in a bit. 532 00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:15,499 - I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? - Yeah, all right. You'd better be there. 533 00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:17,618 All right, mate. Bye, bye, bye. 534 00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:42,753 He's had a girlfriend too, for like... 535 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:46,670 He's been going out with her for two months and he hasn't even fingered her. 536 00:43:46,791 --> 00:43:50,136 Definitely looks gay. Have you seen his walk? 537 00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:58,511 And his voice too. Oh, yeah, his voice. 538 00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:02,812 He probably does straightening, like. Conditions his hair every morning. 539 00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:04,980 He gets up at half-seven so his mum can do his hair. 540 00:44:05,101 --> 00:44:06,899 - Have you seen his Facebook statuses? - No. 541 00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:08,362 There's about 40 a day. 542 00:44:51,230 --> 00:44:53,858 - All right? What can I get you? - All right, mate. Do you do bitter? 543 00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,985 - Yeah. - Can I get two pints of bitter? 544 00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,604 I got you a drink. 545 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:34,198 - I don't like beer. - Do you not? 546 00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:35,487 Afraid not. 547 00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:36,985 Sorry. 548 00:45:38,027 --> 00:45:40,325 Why this place, Glen? 549 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:45,543 It's a bit more fun, isn't it, than your normal, erm... normal gay bar? 550 00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,664 I'm surprised you came. 551 00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:53,588 Really? 552 00:45:53,709 --> 00:45:56,508 - Little bit. - Well, I'm here now. 553 00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:58,222 - Good. - Cheers. 554 00:45:58,339 --> 00:45:59,511 Hi! 555 00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,885 We've got a new member of the group, let's not make a fuss about it. 556 00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:05,559 This is Russell, everybody. This is Cock 1, Cock 2, Cock 3, 557 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,353 Dolly Parton, Cock 4, Lorna, 558 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,441 you know Gill already - and this is all... 559 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:12,653 I'm Russell, nice to meet you. 560 00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:16,027 I went on the bed with a hard-on 561 00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:18,742 and I heard all this clanging and things coming out of bags 562 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:22,329 and zips and poppers and things, and I... he was there for ages... 563 00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,289 Hey! 564 00:46:24,407 --> 00:46:26,034 Well done. Here we go! 565 00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:30,584 One, two, three, four, five... Go! 566 00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:35,460 Anyway, so I was lying on the bed waiting for him, 567 00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:37,131 and after about 10 minutes of this, 568 00:46:37,253 --> 00:46:40,507 it was like, I was starting to lose my hard-on because it was getting boring, 569 00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:45,512 and then he walked in and he was fully done up in leather, like boots and things 570 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:47,183 and chaps and everything, 571 00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:49,353 and he was much older than his picture said, 572 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,817 and he walked in and I was like, "Oh, fuck!" 573 00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:55,814 And he just put his boot on my bed and he went, "Lick my fucking boots!" 574 00:46:55,938 --> 00:47:01,320 And I went like, "Er, I don't think so, I think I'll pass actually." 575 00:47:01,444 --> 00:47:03,572 And he was like, "Lick my fucking boots!" 576 00:47:06,866 --> 00:47:08,743 Sorry, guys, can I squeeze past? 577 00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:10,666 All right, how are you? 578 00:47:11,787 --> 00:47:13,630 I'd leave him to it, if I were you. 579 00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:15,966 What's he doing? 580 00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:19,633 Well, he's just started phase one of the attack. 581 00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:26,136 The whole straight narrative is there for you to inherit, it's just there. 582 00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:29,139 There to shape your foundations, to set you up - 583 00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:32,858 boy meets girl, they fall in love, they go skipping through the meadows 584 00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:35,819 and that's how your life is set. Everything is there. 585 00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:38,314 All the books, all the films, all the TV shows, 586 00:47:38,439 --> 00:47:40,487 everything is just inherited, given to you. 587 00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:43,828 I think he does like you though. I mean, he wouldn't let me listen to the tape, 588 00:47:43,944 --> 00:47:46,538 and he always lets me listen to the tapes, so... 589 00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:48,032 you must have made some kind of impression. 590 00:47:48,157 --> 00:47:52,287 I'm quite glad he didn't let you have a listen to the tape, to be honest with you. 591 00:47:52,411 --> 00:47:53,628 Yet! 592 00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:57,125 He didn't let me listen to it yet - there's still time! 593 00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:59,343 What, is it dirty? Is it? 594 00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,508 - No, no! - Proper sordid? 595 00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:02,630 No. 596 00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:05,133 Oh, boring. Them ones are the best. 597 00:48:05,257 --> 00:48:08,181 - I took umbrage with the loud noise. - You didn't take... 598 00:48:08,302 --> 00:48:11,226 - You make a loud... You made a loud noise. - You didn't make umbrage with the loud noise. 599 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:15,068 You made umbrage with the fact that you've got a load of gay people in a straight bar. 600 00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:17,607 That's what you've got your problem with. Admit it, just admit it. 601 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,446 - No... - Absolutely admit it. 602 00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:24,911 The thing is, Glen likes to be a big fish, not a little tiddler. 603 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:28,372 I mean, to be honest, I think he's gonna bottle it. 604 00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,708 - Can you keep a secret? - Yeah. 605 00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,873 Some of us have got a little bet. 606 00:48:32,993 --> 00:48:35,087 That's not very supportive. 607 00:48:35,204 --> 00:48:36,751 Supportive? No. 608 00:48:36,872 --> 00:48:38,795 No, I just understand him, that's all. 609 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,795 He does this. I mean like, once, 610 00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,887 he signed up to teach in Africa. 611 00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:45,426 I think it was Africa. 612 00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:48,347 It was just when he split up with John. Has he told you about John? 613 00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:50,595 No, no, he hasn't told me about John. To be honest with you, I don't really think... 614 00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,221 That was way back when he did boyfriends. 615 00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:56,522 The sexuality... The sexuality of the loud noise was not an issue with me, 616 00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,895 - it was the fact that the noise was loud. - The sexuality of the loud noise? 617 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:00,566 It was the fact that the noise was loud. 618 00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:03,362 Oh, right, so it's just merely a matter of decibels. 619 00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:08,079 He used to cheat on him a lot, John did, and Glen was like, "It doesn't matter," 620 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:11,699 but it would matter to me, and then at the end of the relationship, 621 00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:14,543 he was in the park, cruising, and he got beaten up. 622 00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:16,037 What, Glen did? 623 00:49:16,162 --> 00:49:18,164 No, no, not Glen. John. 624 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:20,667 - Volume is the issue. That's it. - The volume. 625 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:25,092 Just ruining your night. We're just here ruining your night, is that the problem? 626 00:49:25,212 --> 00:49:27,340 Look at us holding hands! Look! 627 00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:34,309 What? 628 00:49:34,430 --> 00:49:36,148 Nothing. 629 00:49:36,265 --> 00:49:39,064 - You look like you want to kiss me. - I do. 630 00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:41,862 Go on, then. 631 00:49:42,521 --> 00:49:44,569 No, not here. I can't... I can't here. 632 00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:51,075 Oh! 633 00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:58,959 Ah, thank you. 634 00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:02,879 Do you want to get the fuck out of here? 635 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,673 What do you mean? 636 00:50:04,793 --> 00:50:06,795 Do you want to get the fuck out of here? 637 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:29,777 Don't you think your mates are going to be a little bit pissed off? 638 00:50:29,902 --> 00:50:32,121 - Why? - Well... 639 00:50:33,155 --> 00:50:35,283 I mean, we just marched out of there. 640 00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:38,035 You practically pushed me out of the door, I didn't even say goodbye to anybody, 641 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,630 - you didn't say goodbye to anybody. - Yeah, I don't do goodbyes. 642 00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:46,510 I actually had quite good fun in there. it was all right. 643 00:50:46,627 --> 00:50:50,131 I liked your friends. It was quite nice being around gay people. 644 00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:51,883 - Oh, don't do it. - Don't do what? 645 00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:53,634 - I know what you're gonna say. - What? 646 00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:58,185 You're gonna say, "Oh, it's nice being around people of my own kind, my own people, 647 00:50:58,305 --> 00:51:02,026 "they think the same as me, we talk about all the same things, 648 00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:06,067 "we've got the same things in common." But it's just not like that, you know? 649 00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:10,618 - This is David Lane. - Essentially they're all just idiots. 650 00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:14,284 - This tram is for Phoenix Park. - Except they dance a lot more. 651 00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:16,783 The next stop is Highbury Vale. 652 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,877 So what do you think of Gill? 653 00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:23,547 Yeah, she was nice. 654 00:51:23,664 --> 00:51:25,666 You're such a fucking liar. 655 00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:30,213 Ah, it's nothing. 656 00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:32,931 I wouldn't want anybody... 657 00:51:33,048 --> 00:51:35,301 - talking badly about my mates. - What is it? 658 00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:37,929 - Honestly, it's nothing. - Fucking spit it out. 659 00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:42,182 I don't know, Glen. I just... 660 00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:47,484 She's not very supportive, you know, or understanding about... 661 00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:50,575 And this is only from what I've spoken to her about, but I didn't... 662 00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:52,614 She just wasn't very supportive and that's what you want, isn't it, 663 00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:58,333 you want your mates to be understanding and to support your ideas and... 664 00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,577 - I don't know. - What the fuck did she say? 665 00:52:00,701 --> 00:52:02,374 She didn't say anything, she didn't say anything. 666 00:52:02,494 --> 00:52:06,465 It was just... It was just an impression I got. 667 00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:11,629 Anyway, it's none of my business to start talking about that kind of stuff, is it? 668 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:21,889 I can't wait to get the fuck out of here, to be honest. 669 00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:24,233 - No, you don't mean that. - I do. 670 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:25,727 Maybe I don't. 671 00:52:25,851 --> 00:52:27,774 Just my friends - sometimes they're like... 672 00:52:27,895 --> 00:52:30,193 a noose around my neck, do you know what I mean? 673 00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:33,443 No. I've got to be honest with you, I don't really know what you mean. 674 00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:36,787 It's like when you've had the same friends for too long, they become like... 675 00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:39,157 everything becomes cemented. 676 00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:44,791 - What, and that's a bad thing, is it? - Of course it's a bad thing. 677 00:52:44,912 --> 00:52:48,667 I don't want to be in fucking concrete, thank you very much. 678 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:53,092 It's like they won't let you... they won't let you be any version of yourself 679 00:52:53,212 --> 00:52:56,182 except an old version, or the version that they want you to be. 680 00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,969 - I hope that's not true. - You know it's true. 681 00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:02,847 Who wants to know they're in the shit? 682 00:53:02,971 --> 00:53:06,475 If they see you trying to crawl out, they're very happy to drag you back in. 683 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,853 Oh, and that's what you're trying to do, is it? 684 00:53:08,977 --> 00:53:12,481 You're trying to drag yourself out of the shit! 685 00:53:12,606 --> 00:53:13,949 I'm trying to... 686 00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:17,653 redraw myself. 687 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:21,366 - Of course. You being the artist that you are. - Exactly, exactly. 688 00:53:22,157 --> 00:53:24,660 But everyone keeps fucking hiding my pencil. 689 00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,186 Hiya, can we get two cars, please? 690 00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,813 - Have you got three quid? - Yep. 691 00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:46,477 There we go. 692 00:53:48,267 --> 00:53:51,362 - I'm gonna kill you. - Oh-ho-ho, are you sure about that? 693 00:53:51,478 --> 00:53:52,946 There you go. 694 00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,399 Thank you. 695 00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:00,663 Scream if you wanna go faster! 696 00:54:07,703 --> 00:54:09,376 Fuck you! 697 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:31,610 Remember, this was pre-internet so, you know, it was, like, 698 00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:35,072 there wasn't any "straight boy goes gay for pay" websites 699 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:39,695 or stick-a-monster-cock- up-your-arse-and-ear.com. 700 00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:45,791 But my mum had this VHS of A Room With A View. 701 00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:48,036 - Have you seen it? - Yeah. I think I have. 702 00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,959 Is that the one with all the poshies 703 00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:53,047 - in all the houses and stuff? - Yeah. 704 00:54:53,165 --> 00:54:56,840 Well, they've got that, but also they've got this scene where all the boys go running 705 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,213 - naked round the lake. - Oh, I see. 706 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:03,309 And I'd frozen the video just on the moment when you could see Rupert Graves' cock 707 00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:06,429 and you know what it's like when you pause video, it's shuddering. 708 00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:07,896 Yeah. 709 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:10,186 And I was tanking away and there it was, 710 00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:13,982 and I spaffed up a huge spiderweb of juvenile semen... 711 00:55:14,102 --> 00:55:16,480 just as my mate walked in. 712 00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:17,606 Oh, my God! 713 00:55:17,731 --> 00:55:19,950 And he looked at me and he looked at the TV screen 714 00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:22,946 and he saw Rupert Graves' shuddering cock and he knew. 715 00:55:25,364 --> 00:55:28,538 - What did he say? - He called me a faggot, he called me a queer. 716 00:55:29,535 --> 00:55:33,460 But the weird thing was, in that moment, I could see myself through his eyes, you know? 717 00:55:33,580 --> 00:55:37,050 I could see what I looked like. And you know what? 718 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,670 - You didn't care? - I didn't care. Exactly. 719 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:45,142 I thought, if he wants to see me as some horny little faggotty, angry child, 720 00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:48,513 then that's fine with me, doesn't make any difference. 721 00:55:48,637 --> 00:55:50,856 - Are you still friends with him? - Nah. 722 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:55,729 I wasn't friends with anyone else after he told the rest of the school. 723 00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:57,605 That's awful, Glen. 724 00:55:57,729 --> 00:55:59,481 It is what it is. 725 00:56:37,102 --> 00:56:39,355 - Shall we have another little cheeky one? - Yeah. 726 00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:57,419 - Oh, Glen, Glen, Glen! - Whoo! I'm just breaking some ice! 727 00:56:57,539 --> 00:57:01,134 - You haven't met my neighbours, they're nuts. - I'm breaking the ice with your neighbours. 728 00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:04,050 Frankie upstairs will be going nuts, dying. 729 00:57:04,171 --> 00:57:06,173 There's something I didn't tell you today. 730 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:08,683 Do you have a boyfriend? 731 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:12,521 - Yeah, that's exactly it. I've got a boyfriend. - Oh, fuck me! 732 00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:13,935 No. 733 00:57:14,056 --> 00:57:16,229 - No, you know your tape thing? - Yeah. 734 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:19,900 I've got something kind of similar. 735 00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:22,273 Really? What do you mean? 736 00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:27,494 Well, obviously mine's private and not public like yours. 737 00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:30,706 - Why am I telling you this? - Well, then why do you do it? 738 00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:33,951 I don't know, just do. 739 00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:37,455 He was good-looking and normal, which was nice. 740 00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:39,957 He's not too camp. 741 00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:42,926 On the third date he told me that when he came out to his parents, 742 00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:45,137 they refused to ever talk about it. 743 00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:47,756 He said he didn't care but it was obvious he did. 744 00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:51,135 Then to stop us talking about it, he sang me a song. 745 00:57:51,259 --> 00:57:53,387 Fucking hell! 746 00:57:54,721 --> 00:57:56,394 Dickhead! 747 00:57:56,515 --> 00:58:00,861 I was mortified, and I wanted Jamie to be there listening to it 748 00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:04,403 because I'm sure he would have found it funny. 749 00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:08,494 And I knew that I could never see him again, but I stayed that night anyway... 750 00:58:08,610 --> 00:58:11,284 - Aww. - ... because I didn't want him to feel bad. 751 00:58:11,405 --> 00:58:13,032 Samaritan. 752 00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:16,626 Did you tell Jamie about it? 753 00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:22,500 - Shut up! - And you send it to the back of my throat. 754 00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:24,297 Ready? Come on. 755 00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:26,637 - It's quite sexy. - OK. 756 00:58:30,257 --> 00:58:31,509 Beautiful. Good start. 757 00:58:31,633 --> 00:58:33,385 Do you want to have a go? 758 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,308 Let's make it happen, come on. 759 00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:39,854 One, two, three. 760 00:58:42,102 --> 00:58:43,524 Isn't that amazing? 761 00:58:43,645 --> 00:58:46,489 I followed him around the sauna for a while, 762 00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:51,453 and I was so nervous that I wasn't sure I'd even be able to get an erection. 763 00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:55,206 We went into the cabin but he wouldn't kiss me. 764 00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:58,076 All he wanted to do was suck me off and get me to come in his mouth, 765 00:58:58,201 --> 00:59:02,047 which I did, but he wouldn't let me touch him or anything, and then he left. 766 00:59:02,164 --> 00:59:05,589 And I saw him later as I was getting changed and he ignored me. 767 00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:09,801 And it was then that I noticed he had a wedding ring on. 768 00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:13,516 I felt bad and weird - bad for me but also for his wife - 769 00:59:13,633 --> 00:59:16,477 and I wondered if when he got home and he kissed her 770 00:59:16,595 --> 00:59:20,316 she could smell me on him, and I wondered if the kids were waiting for him in their bedrooms, 771 00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:23,026 wanting to say good night to their dad, but... 772 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:26,693 he was late because he was sucking me off in the sauna. 773 00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:28,486 So. 774 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:35,072 What? 775 00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:37,825 I met this guy who was nice. 776 00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:39,826 I've called him Paul Smith, 777 00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:44,005 but that wasn't his name because I can't remember his name, 778 00:59:44,122 --> 00:59:46,841 but it was the aftershave he was wearing. 779 00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:50,337 He had a really nice flat near the cemetery 780 00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:52,931 and I think he worked in design. 781 00:59:53,048 --> 00:59:59,397 He told me his parents were fine about him being gay, which must have been good, 782 00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:02,357 and he had photos of them on his wall. 783 01:00:04,726 --> 01:00:08,356 He asked if he could fuck me, I told him I'd never done it before 784 01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:11,066 and that he needed to be careful. 785 01:00:11,191 --> 01:00:14,161 I can remember being paranoid about the condom coming off 786 01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:17,952 and me getting AIDS and everybody would think I was scum. 787 01:00:21,743 --> 01:00:25,714 He wouldn't give me his number because he said he had a boyfriend. 788 01:00:25,831 --> 01:00:27,799 On the bus I felt so ashamed and shitty. 789 01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,169 When I got back I puked up and spent the rest of the day in bed 790 01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:32,261 thinking about all kinds of stuff. 791 01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:48,066 Have I freaked you out? 792 01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:50,188 No, it's just enough now. 793 01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:55,952 I have, haven't I? I've freaked you out, I've freaked you out. Do you think I'm a freak? 794 01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:58,071 You are a freak, but that's all right. 795 01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:05,954 What did this guy look like? 796 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,716 Why? 797 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,756 Just because. 798 01:01:16,131 --> 01:01:18,133 I don't know, he had blond hair. 799 01:01:21,636 --> 01:01:23,638 Did he look kind of Swedish? 800 01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:26,607 I suppose. 801 01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:34,069 He'd have fucking loved this. 802 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,613 Who? 803 01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:39,697 His name was John though, not Paul. 804 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:47,087 Who's John? 805 01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:49,457 You're a terrible liar for a faggot. 806 01:01:52,584 --> 01:01:55,212 I knew Gill couldn't keep her mouth shut. 807 01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:58,056 I didn't ask her anything. She... 808 01:01:58,173 --> 01:02:00,050 Fuck it. 809 01:02:00,175 --> 01:02:02,177 It doesn't matter. 810 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:13,655 Look, straight people like us as long as we conform, we behave by their little rules. 811 01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:17,822 Imagine your friends, if you suddenly started getting all really political about being a fag 812 01:02:17,943 --> 01:02:21,698 or you got suddenly like camp and swishy or talked about rimming all the time. 813 01:02:21,821 --> 01:02:24,165 Yeah, but that's not what I'm like, is it? That's not who I am. 814 01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:27,377 Well, trust me they like it, as long as we don't shove it down their throats. 815 01:02:27,494 --> 01:02:29,872 OK, well, why should I just shove it down their throats? 816 01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:32,499 Because they shove it down our throats all the time, being straight- 817 01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:34,752 straight story lines on television, everywhere, 818 01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:37,925 in books, on billboards, magazines, everywhere. 819 01:02:38,046 --> 01:02:41,846 But, oh, the gays, the gays... We mustn't upset the straights! 820 01:02:41,967 --> 01:02:44,061 Shh, watch out, the straights are coming. 821 01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:46,976 Let's not upset them, let's hide in our little ghettos, 822 01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,725 let's not hold hands, let's not kiss in the street, no. 823 01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:53,023 We have the chance to make up our own shit, 824 01:02:53,144 --> 01:02:57,445 we can grow our own garden and put little flowers and pansies 825 01:02:57,565 --> 01:03:01,286 and gay gnomes in it and water features and water sports and slings, 826 01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:04,998 but no, everybody wants to concrete the fucker over and get a gas barbecue. 827 01:03:05,115 --> 01:03:07,709 You're obsessed with concrete. You're absolutely obsessed with the stuff. 828 01:03:07,826 --> 01:03:11,626 But why would you want concrete when you can have whatever you want? 829 01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:13,714 I'm not saying people shouldn't forge relationships, 830 01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:17,086 all I'm saying is that we don't need someone to sanction it, 831 01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:21,681 - to make it legitimate, to make us respectable. - Yeah, heaven forbid. 832 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,551 And don't tell me that people get married because of love. 833 01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:28,021 People get married for the same reason that they buy a house or buy a dog, 834 01:03:28,138 --> 01:03:32,268 to tie them down so that they go, "Oh, no, we couldn't possibly go away this weekend. 835 01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:35,020 "Who'd look after Buster? Couldn't possibly leave Buster alone." 836 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:38,490 - Glen, maybe sometimes people just like dogs. - And it's not even proper marriage anyway. 837 01:03:38,606 --> 01:03:42,201 In America they went out on the streets and fought for equal rights, 838 01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,913 and over here people are too busy on fucking Grindr 839 01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:48,330 or shaving their arses to be able to do anything. Where's their fight? 840 01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,875 It's a fight, isn't it, for something that you don't believe in. 841 01:03:51,995 --> 01:03:54,794 - That's not the point. - Well, it is, it is, kind of. 842 01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:57,212 A man standing up with another man, 843 01:03:57,334 --> 01:04:00,713 in front of everyone saying that, "I love you and I want to get married," 844 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:03,181 I think that's a pretty fucking radical statement. 845 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:08,304 I mean, standing up and saying, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," 846 01:04:08,428 --> 01:04:11,523 when everybody's looking at them, saying... 847 01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:13,767 that it's wrong, it's disgusting, it's sick. 848 01:04:13,892 --> 01:04:17,942 I mean, people say that we should go to hell for this -fucking go to fucking hell, 849 01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:21,283 I mean, why do people fucking say that, do you know what I mean? 850 01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:25,745 So, actually, standing up and saying, "You know what, I love you, 851 01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:30,038 "and fuck you and fuck you, I don't give a fuck what you fucking think, I don't care." 852 01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:34,959 - That is pretty fucking amazing. - But why do people have to feed into the system? 853 01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,629 Oh, my God, now you sound like a fucking teenager, Glen. 854 01:04:37,749 --> 01:04:39,843 I mean, earlier, you asked me 855 01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:42,553 if I thought that people got married because they love each other. 856 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:44,172 - Yeah? - Right, OK, 857 01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:47,141 well, maybe they do, maybe they do. 858 01:04:47,258 --> 01:04:50,603 And, yeah, maybe... fucking maybe it is stupid, 859 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,270 and maybe they will get divorced and all that kind of shit, 860 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:56,485 but fucking who cares? 861 01:04:56,601 --> 01:04:58,478 Why does it bother you so much, Glen? 862 01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:02,904 Why does it bother you that maybe two people fucking love each other 863 01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:05,368 and they want to get married and they want a relationship 864 01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:07,487 and they just want to be happy? 865 01:05:13,743 --> 01:05:15,211 Do you want another line? 866 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:18,298 Why do you think it's gonna be so different in America? 867 01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:20,509 Because it will be. 868 01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:23,253 - Have you ever been properly alone? - Of course I have. 869 01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:25,096 I mean properly. Alone. 870 01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:29,810 Sat in a hotel room in Portland all by yourself, no friends, alone. 871 01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:33,226 - Yes. - I don't believe you. I don't believe you. 872 01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:37,067 In a week you're gonna go completely mental. 873 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,570 Of course you are, because you're gonna have no friends, 874 01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:44,362 and you're gonna compromise because that is what people do, they compromise, 875 01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:47,281 because nobody, fucking... fucking nobody, 876 01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:49,954 nobody can deal with being by themselves. 877 01:05:50,071 --> 01:05:52,039 I don't want to compromise. 878 01:05:53,324 --> 01:05:55,201 There you go again. 879 01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:58,045 You're condescending me, it's like you're always fucking attacking me! 880 01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:00,416 - I'm not attacking you. - You fucking are! 881 01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:03,794 I mean, it's like you want everybody to think independently, 882 01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,762 but you want everyone to fucking agree with you. 883 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:08,132 I mean... 884 01:06:08,256 --> 01:06:11,430 why can't you just understand that some people just want to be happy? 885 01:06:11,551 --> 01:06:13,394 Are you happy? 886 01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:18,141 I'm fine. 887 01:06:19,517 --> 01:06:23,488 You know what, yeah, things could be fucking better. 888 01:06:23,605 --> 01:06:25,198 Easier. 889 01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:27,693 But I am absolutely fine. 890 01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,034 Sure you are. 891 01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:31,325 Don't you fucking dare. 892 01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:33,369 - Don't you fucking dare presume... - Calm down. 893 01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:36,585 that you understand me. You think just because I can't... 894 01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:39,545 You think just because I can't walk around the fucking streets 895 01:06:39,662 --> 01:06:44,213 holding hands or talking to my mates about fucking sucking cocks, that you know me. 896 01:06:44,334 --> 01:06:47,087 - No, I don't. - I can see it in your eyes, Glen, 897 01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:50,261 I can see it, that you think... 898 01:06:50,381 --> 01:06:53,385 you think I'm a fucking idiot because I want a fucking relationship. 899 01:06:53,510 --> 01:06:55,512 - Did I say that? - But the thing is, Glen... 900 01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:59,899 the thing is, Glen, I think that you want one too. 901 01:07:11,444 --> 01:07:16,575 I think you would make an amazing boyfriend. 902 01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:19,418 That's not what I'm f... That's not what I'm saying. 903 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,504 - I don't... - It's not about me. Fuck me. 904 01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:24,374 I don't want one. 905 01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:27,878 I don't believe you. I don't believe you. 906 01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:31,055 John has fucked you up, because... 907 01:07:31,172 --> 01:07:33,891 Let's stop this now before we go somewhere that we don't want it to go. 908 01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:37,353 - ... because he's cheated on you... - You don't know nothing about me and John. 909 01:07:37,470 --> 01:07:40,474 You don't know nothing about how I feel, about whether he cheated on me or not. 910 01:07:40,598 --> 01:07:42,771 And, for the record, I don't give a shit that he cheated on me. 911 01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:45,736 I give a shit that he was a fucking liar and a faggot 912 01:07:45,853 --> 01:07:47,821 and he couldn't stand up for himself. 913 01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:50,738 Couldn't stand up for... Glen, he was beaten up in a fucking park... 914 01:07:50,858 --> 01:07:52,781 - Look, look, look. - ... because he was gay! 915 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:57,499 Maybe if it's easier if I tell you that I'm brokenhearted, but I'm not. 916 01:07:57,615 --> 01:07:59,834 I don't want... 917 01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:05,424 I can't have a boyfriend right now. 918 01:08:08,459 --> 01:08:11,212 And that's all there is to say about it. 919 01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:19,938 Now, I really don't want us to fall out about this. 920 01:08:20,054 --> 01:08:22,182 Really, I don't. 921 01:08:35,445 --> 01:08:37,368 I need to go to the toilet. 922 01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:42,035 I think I need to go to the toilet. 923 01:09:05,475 --> 01:09:07,398 Oh, fuck. 924 01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,680 I thought I heard a firework. 925 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:25,225 It's probably just some kids. 926 01:10:26,139 --> 01:10:27,982 Probably. 927 01:10:32,812 --> 01:10:35,361 I'm really sorry, just... 928 01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:38,777 I was a dick. Sorry. 929 01:10:40,027 --> 01:10:42,121 It's all right. 930 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,161 Probably too much coke. 931 01:10:44,282 --> 01:10:45,534 Yeah. 932 01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:48,787 Blame it on the drugs, I always say. 933 01:10:55,626 --> 01:10:57,628 Talking of drugs, 934 01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:02,763 this is my secret reserve of master kush. 935 01:11:02,884 --> 01:11:04,807 Would you like some? 936 01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:09,228 Thank you. 937 01:11:30,244 --> 01:11:32,212 Swap? 938 01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:33,832 Thank you. 939 01:14:47,733 --> 01:14:50,407 I think... Stop. I'm gonna come. 940 01:14:50,528 --> 01:14:52,121 Shhh. 941 01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:27,320 You know, when I'm... when I'm at home I'm absolutely fine. 942 01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,363 Fine? 943 01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:30,826 Yeah. 944 01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:33,367 Completely. 945 01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:36,160 I don't... 946 01:15:36,949 --> 01:15:39,623 I don't care and I don't even think about it. 947 01:15:41,620 --> 01:15:43,088 I just... 948 01:15:44,165 --> 01:15:46,167 I'm not embarrassed, I'm not... 949 01:15:47,293 --> 01:15:49,512 I'm not ashamed, and I don't... 950 01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:51,630 I don't want to be straight. 951 01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:54,800 You know, not now anyway. 952 01:15:56,594 --> 01:15:58,892 I'm happy. I'm happy being gay. 953 01:16:01,307 --> 01:16:02,854 But? 954 01:16:07,980 --> 01:16:10,074 It's when I go outside, 955 01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:12,660 like, you know, just to Jamie's or... 956 01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:16,030 or to Tesco's or to work. It... 957 01:16:17,239 --> 01:16:20,743 It kind of... It's hard to explain, 958 01:16:20,868 --> 01:16:22,870 but it... 959 01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:27,334 it kind of feels like I've got indigestion. 960 01:16:29,168 --> 01:16:32,217 It actually feels exactly like indigestion. 961 01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,222 And... 962 01:16:41,013 --> 01:16:43,061 it just makes me angry, 963 01:16:45,101 --> 01:16:47,604 you know, that I feel like that because... 964 01:16:48,687 --> 01:16:51,315 because it's so fucking pathetic. 965 01:16:52,149 --> 01:16:55,323 You know, I'm a grown man, and I look at you, and... 966 01:16:55,444 --> 01:16:58,664 and I see you and you can do it and you're amazing. 967 01:17:02,493 --> 01:17:04,621 I just don't understand why I can't. 968 01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,763 You know your log thing? 969 01:17:17,883 --> 01:17:19,510 Yeah. 970 01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:25,020 You're right about people coming out 971 01:17:25,141 --> 01:17:27,610 and what their parents say and stuff. 972 01:17:28,519 --> 01:17:29,987 Yeah? 973 01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:33,983 I just wondered why. 974 01:17:35,860 --> 01:17:37,578 Erm... 975 01:17:39,488 --> 01:17:41,536 it interests me. 976 01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:44,410 It's like, erm... 977 01:17:44,535 --> 01:17:48,039 everyone's got their story, haven't they, it's like a... 978 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,166 gay rite of passage. 979 01:17:51,125 --> 01:17:52,923 But you don't. 980 01:17:53,794 --> 01:17:55,762 I suppose, yeah. 981 01:17:56,422 --> 01:17:58,345 That's what I thought. 982 01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,348 Do you ever think about finding your parents? 983 01:18:08,934 --> 01:18:11,278 No. Not really. 984 01:18:11,395 --> 01:18:13,238 Why not? 985 01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:16,654 Er... 986 01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:18,777 I don't really see the point. 987 01:18:20,654 --> 01:18:24,704 You know, I don't think it would change anything. 988 01:18:29,788 --> 01:18:31,916 Why don't I... 989 01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:35,632 pretend to be your dad... 990 01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:38,381 and you can come out to me? 991 01:18:39,715 --> 01:18:41,467 That is so weird. 992 01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:44,141 Just ignore the fact we just had sex. 993 01:18:45,846 --> 01:18:48,269 I don't think I can ignore the fact we just had sex. 994 01:18:48,390 --> 01:18:49,892 Try. 995 01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:53,021 OK. 996 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:02,697 Dad? 997 01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:06,663 I've got something that I need to tell you. 998 01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:08,627 What's that? 999 01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:12,123 I'm gay. 1000 01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:18,136 Hmm. 1001 01:19:19,421 --> 01:19:21,423 I like guys, not girls. 1002 01:19:32,059 --> 01:19:33,686 Well. 1003 01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:39,566 You know what, son? 1004 01:19:42,569 --> 01:19:44,663 It doesn't matter to me. 1005 01:19:47,616 --> 01:19:49,618 I love you just the same. 1006 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:54,715 And guess what? 1007 01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:56,459 What? 1008 01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,763 I couldn't be more proud of you 1009 01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:05,267 than if you were the first man on the moon. 1010 01:21:02,941 --> 01:21:04,488 Good morning. 1011 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,864 - I made you coffee. - Thanks. 1012 01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:21,419 So what you doing today? 1013 01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:23,011 Erm... 1014 01:21:24,838 --> 01:21:27,557 I've got to go over to Jamie's house, erm... 1015 01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:32,809 there's a party, it's my goddaughter's birthday, so... 1016 01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:35,353 - You're a godfather? - Yeah. 1017 01:21:36,350 --> 01:21:38,478 You're not religious, are you? 1018 01:21:38,602 --> 01:21:41,196 No. They just asked me. 1019 01:21:44,942 --> 01:21:46,819 That's very nice, thank you. 1020 01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:52,325 Erm... What time's your train today? 1021 01:21:55,411 --> 01:21:57,379 Why? 1022 01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,339 No reason. 1023 01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:05,676 Are you going to come and sing to me, or beg me to stay? 1024 01:22:06,797 --> 01:22:08,799 No, I don't think so, no. 1025 01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:13,516 It's about... 4:30, I don't know. 1026 01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:52,801 - Glen... - Shhh. 1027 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:13,511 - Hiya! - Hiya. 1028 01:24:13,632 --> 01:24:15,976 You made it, I'm made up. 1029 01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:18,266 - Are you all right? - Yeah, yeah. 1030 01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:20,435 Come in, then. 1031 01:24:20,556 --> 01:24:22,479 - You stink of booze! - Do I? 1032 01:24:22,599 --> 01:24:23,691 - Yeah. - Sorry. 1033 01:24:23,809 --> 01:24:26,983 - Did you have a session last night? - Didn't Jamie say anything to you? 1034 01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:30,028 - No. - Who wants to play Twister? 1035 01:24:30,148 --> 01:24:33,027 Right, look who's here, everyone! Look who's here! 1036 01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:35,245 Hey, all right, mate? 1037 01:24:35,946 --> 01:24:37,744 - Hiya, mate. - All right? 1038 01:24:37,864 --> 01:24:39,616 Yeah, yeah. Where's the girl, then? 1039 01:24:39,741 --> 01:24:41,038 Lois, look! 1040 01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,753 Hey! Gaps! All right, missus? 1041 01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:48,713 - Go on, take it, then. - What do you say? 1042 01:24:48,834 --> 01:24:53,385 If the Commando stands at 1020 which means the player... 1043 01:24:53,505 --> 01:24:55,428 Oh, it's too complicated, let's do it again. 1044 01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:57,517 has to count either 1 to 10 or... 1045 01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:01,263 All right, that's it, I'm not playing. 1046 01:25:02,806 --> 01:25:04,979 All right, well, come on... 1047 01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:08,229 What do you call a girl that sits in the middle of a tennis court? 1048 01:25:08,353 --> 01:25:09,479 I don't know. 1049 01:25:09,605 --> 01:25:11,198 Annette. 1050 01:25:11,315 --> 01:25:14,785 I've got one, I've got one, I've got one. What goes "Ooh"? 1051 01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:17,154 A cow with no lips. 1052 01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,969 What's going on? 1053 01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:39,844 Nothing. 1054 01:25:39,968 --> 01:25:41,845 Nothing's going on. 1055 01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:47,693 Well, there obviously is. Are you going to tell me about it or what? 1056 01:25:52,356 --> 01:25:57,157 No. I feel... It feels weird talking to you about it, I don't know. Sorry. 1057 01:25:58,654 --> 01:26:00,247 Weird? 1058 01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:03,243 We're best mates, we talk about all kinds of stuff. Come on. 1059 01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:06,962 Yeah, but we don't talk about this kind of stuff, do we, that's not what we do. 1060 01:26:07,079 --> 01:26:09,753 I've never spoken to you about this kind of stuff. 1061 01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:11,875 Yeah, I know. 1062 01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:29,356 I don't know, Jamie, I don't know, it's... 1063 01:26:31,812 --> 01:26:33,530 it's stupid really. 1064 01:26:33,647 --> 01:26:34,944 I mean... 1065 01:26:35,065 --> 01:26:37,238 this guy I've met, Glen, you know, 1066 01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:39,862 I met him two days ago, he doesn't know me, I don't know him, 1067 01:26:39,986 --> 01:26:41,863 and he... 1068 01:26:41,988 --> 01:26:45,458 I met him, like, two days ago, two days is nothing. 1069 01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,711 I don't know, I just feel a bit of a twat, that's all. 1070 01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:57,172 I think it's just cos I'm hung over and tired and he's going away and... 1071 01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:03,101 Well, you'll be able to see him when he gets back, won't you? 1072 01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:06,563 No, no, I won't, because he's not coming back. 1073 01:27:07,055 --> 01:27:09,604 He's moving to America, so... 1074 01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:13,941 that's it. 1075 01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:19,572 Well, what time's he leaving? 1076 01:27:20,736 --> 01:27:22,579 Doesn't matter. 1077 01:27:22,696 --> 01:27:24,744 No, come on, what time's he leaving? 1078 01:27:24,865 --> 01:27:26,663 I can run you in the car. 1079 01:27:29,536 --> 01:27:31,163 What about the cake? 1080 01:27:31,747 --> 01:27:32,999 Don't worry about the fucking cake. 1081 01:27:33,123 --> 01:27:35,421 - Cathy will go nuts. - So? 1082 01:27:35,542 --> 01:27:37,840 Lois is going to want you around, isn't she? 1083 01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:41,181 I want to be here for Lois, it's my goddaughter's birthday. 1084 01:27:41,298 --> 01:27:43,016 I'll be half an hour. 1085 01:27:43,133 --> 01:27:44,976 Come on, I'll run you in the car. 1086 01:28:13,997 --> 01:28:19,128 24-hour CCTV recording is in operation at this station. 1087 01:28:41,399 --> 01:28:44,903 - I fucking knew you'd come. - Did you? 1088 01:28:45,028 --> 01:28:47,076 Such a goddamn romantic. 1089 01:28:50,116 --> 01:28:51,993 Looks like it, eh? 1090 01:28:56,790 --> 01:28:58,963 So is this our Netting Hill moment? 1091 01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:03,430 You know, I've never seen it, ever. 1092 01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:06,847 Neither have I, but I imagine there's a declaration of love 1093 01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,641 - and everybody applauds. - Yeah! 1094 01:29:14,432 --> 01:29:17,231 Do you reckon that's what would happen with us? 1095 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:19,229 Might do. Could give it a go. 1096 01:29:20,480 --> 01:29:23,154 They'd either clap or throw us under a train. 1097 01:29:46,464 --> 01:29:47,886 I'm... 1098 01:29:50,343 --> 01:29:55,645 24-hour CCTV recording is in operation at this station. 1099 01:29:56,641 --> 01:29:59,611 I want you to know I'm not here to stop you from going. 1100 01:29:59,728 --> 01:30:02,072 - Please be quiet. Shut up! - No, no, no. 1101 01:30:02,188 --> 01:30:03,861 I just want to... I just want to... 1102 01:30:03,982 --> 01:30:06,531 I just want you to know that... 1103 01:30:10,196 --> 01:30:12,324 Oh, fuck. 1104 01:30:15,827 --> 01:30:18,831 You're a bastard for coming down here. Fuck me. 1105 01:30:40,685 --> 01:30:42,779 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 1106 01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:46,491 You'll be great. 1107 01:30:46,608 --> 01:30:49,987 - You'll have the most amazing time. - Fuck's sake. 1108 01:30:53,448 --> 01:30:54,995 Fuck. 1109 01:31:24,145 --> 01:31:25,772 - Fucking gay boys! - Gay boys! 1110 01:31:25,897 --> 01:31:28,867 I've got something for you. Ignore them. 1111 01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:37,033 I couldn't remember your surname. 1112 01:31:47,293 --> 01:31:49,045 Right, I've got to go. 1113 01:33:25,016 --> 01:33:27,018 Erm... 1114 01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:30,105 I... I don't know. I can hardly remember anything. 1115 01:33:30,230 --> 01:33:33,530 Just start from the beginning, when you first saw me.