Welcome, ladies and gentle-phibians,
to a safe, uneventful afternoon of touristy nonsense.
It may not be as eventful as other tours, but did I mention it's safe?
This is the last time we let Hop Pop pick the activity.
Look, Anne, we got a few days to kill before King Andrias reveals his findings
about the music box.
And what better way to spend that time than learning?
Oh, wow, what's that place?
Imminent danger. Look away!
But imminent is the best kind of danger.
Now, then, what's the most important thing to do when visiting Newtopia? Any guesses?
Ooh! Ooh! Eating like a local?
Looking like a local? Partying with the locals?
Nope. It's getting to know the city from a safe distance. Like on this bus.
Such wisdom.
This is just like when I'd go traveling with my mom.
Mom, can I please try some of that?
No, sweetie, your California stomach can't handle it.
But you can have carrot stick and trail mix.
I didn't want the baby carrots, Mom! I didn't want them.
Why? Why? Why?
- You know what? - What?
This time I'm gonna experience the city the way the locals do!
Not sit on a bus like some dumb tourist!
And now for our tour of the tour bus.
This is the ceiling. What a good ceiling.
- Not to be outdone by the floor. - Ooh!
Count me in.
- So, what do we do? - Follow my lead.
Ugh! Oh, man, Hop Pop, my stomach is killing me.
- Can we go back to the hotel? - Uh, me, too.
I need to get off now or I'll explode!
Why does this keep happening?
Now I'll never make it to the cheese museum.
No, no! Why don't you stay on the tour?
We can head back ourselves.
And we're back.
But you two got to promise me you'll go straight to the hotel.
No detours!
We promise!
- Sprig, you coming? - I thought you'd never ask.
You handcuffed us together?
Sorry, Sprig, but after the Ruins of Disaster incident,
you've left me no choice.
Well, the jokes on you.
- Anne and Polly would never leave me. - Later, dude.
No! No, no, no!
Now sit your butt down and put on your cheese hat.
No!
Aww.
Welcome, Polly, to the bowels of the city.
You know, it's been a long time since you and I had a solo adventure.
Heck, yeah! We're way overdue.
Looks like it's finally time for team P'Anne to get more screen time.
Team P'Anne for life!
Ow.
- Our team name's bad. - Yeah, it could be better.
Anywho, let's get this authentic experience started.
Okay, sounds good.
No guides! People will know we're lame-o tourists.
You're right.
Don't want to be like that guy.
Aw!
All right. Step one, eat like the locals.
Street food, baby. Nothing more authentic.
Hey, buddy. Can you whip us up a couple of…?
Uh… Uh…
Actually, we'll just take two of whatever the locals eat.
Uh, are you sure?
I mean, we don't usually serve this to outsiders. It's pretty spicy.
Ha! That don't scare me.
After all, I'm Thai.
Uh, Jerry.
All right. Whatever. Two extra spicy. Here you go.
- All right! Cheers! - Cheers!
Hey, not bad!
Ha-ha! Weak!
Hey! You two torched my roof.
- Prove it! - Sorry, my good man.
Uh, newt.
This should cover the cost.
Didn't you read the sign? Cash only!
Uh… Well, of course I did…
- Run, Polly! - Hey!
Could you not throw me?
- I panicked! I panicked! - Get back here!
Just wait till I get my hands on you.
Phew. That was close.
Man, Polly, I feel so authentic.
I can't feel my face, but my heart feels alive.
Did you see the part where I breathed fire?
What's next? What's next?
Step two, look like the locals.
What's the one thing they've got that we don't?
- Cash money. - Tails! Big, beautiful newt tails.
Well, actually, I have a tail, but I see what you're doing.
Tails. Tails. Tails.
Two tails, please, for two locals.
Locals, eh? Well, nice to meet you.
Whoa. Uh, am I supposed to…?
Let's get you fixed with a temporary tail until your new one grows back.
- Gross. And okay! - Hmm. Exactly how long was your old tail?
How long you got?
All right! Now that's what I'm talking about.
- Ow! - Hey, Polly! Find one you like?
Give me that one.
This is it, Polly.
You have a tail, I have a tail.
We totally look like the locals.
Yeah, we're definitely blending in.
Oh, hey, what's that stand over there selling?
- Oh, my gosh. - My glasses!
Sorry!
- All right, what seems to be the problem? - Oh, I'm so sorry.
I ought to lock you up for disturbing the peace.
You ought to, but you won't, right?
Oh, smart one, eh? That's it! You're coming with me.
Dang it! We'll never find them in this crowd.
- What? Sure we will. - Shush. I'm lazy.
Ah.
That was intense.
Being authentic is more work than I thought.
I don't know. Seems pretty cool to me. What's next?
- Look at that, sweetie. - Ooh!
Step three, baby. Party with the locals.
Woo-hoo!
- Hey, can I join in? - I don't see why not.
Go, Anne! You maniac!
Oh, hey! Mouth control.
What?
Hi, Polly. I'm Freddie the Fish. Fry me up for dinner.
- Wait, something's wrong. - I'm delicious.
Huh?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just dancing with your goofy mascot.
That "goofy mascot" is Igor the Brave.
He's a great hero, who once gave his life to save Newtopia.
This parade is in his honor.
My bad. I had no idea.
Whoa!
- We should run, right? - Heck, yeah!
After them!
Hey, it's those two kids.
At least one of them's a kid. The other one is a funny-looking…
Just chase us already!
You got it!
You've got to be kidding me.
Spicy wraps here. Get your spicy wraps.
Hey, it's you two! Get back here.
Yah! Siege mode!
Holy tootin'!
Forget authenticity. Forget being a local.
We should've used a brochure. A guide. Anything!
Heck, we should've never left the tour bus.
Street freaks!
Oh, wait. No, it's just my granddaughter and my adopted granddaughter.
Let us in! Let us in!
Everyone remain calm.
As long as we don't open the doors or windows, this disaster will pass us by.
Forget that!
Quick, get in!
Oh, no, you don't.
This is insane! Leave me!
Never! Team P'Anne for life, remember?
That's right. That's right.
P'Anne can't lose.
I just thought of a better name.
An-olly.
- That's not better. - It's worse, actually.
"An-olly." I…
I love it. Now let's end this thing.
Don't make this harder than it has to…
Kick in the neck! Yoink!
Oh, boy.
Whoo!
You guys still want to check out that cheese museum?
Yes, please!
Ugh! This is the last book and still nothing on the music box.
Well, even I have to admit I'm surprised.
This is one of the most comprehensive libraries in all of Amphibia.
Maybe we missed a book somewhere.
Ugh. I need more bug-accinos. B-R-B. Whoa!
Ah, dang it! Tell me that tapestry wasn't hundreds of years old.
Oh, way older than that, actually.
No!
But wait! Marcy, look!
Mmm. I'm-a push it. Bop.
What the…?
No way. A secret library wing.
- Did you know about this? - No.
It must be thousands of years old, judging by the smell.
Phew!
Well, come on. I just know the answers are down there waiting for us.
City walking is great. But I could use a little sitty-sitting.
- Let's stop at this park for a bit. - Works for me.
Sprig, Polly, you guys want to toss the old frisbeetle around?
Hup, hup, hup.
En garde.
Kids, this ain't no park.
This is Newtopia University.
Oh, man. College is the best.
According to movies back home,
you can do crazy things and be horribly irresponsible with no consequences.
I can't believe we're actually here.
No Plantar has ever gone to Newtopia University.
And it's my dream that one day, far, far from now, one of you two will attend.
- Huh? - Sorry, Hop Pop.
I don't think that either of us is cut out for this, especially Sprig.
What? What you talking about?
- You don't have the attention span. - Ha! That's ridiculous…
- Sprig, go long! - Okay!
Now, how does one escape from a mountain mantis?
Yes, Parsifal.
First, we must calculate the probability of escape
by average number of mantises per capita.
Divided by the average body weight of those fleeing for their lives.
Whoa, whoa. Guys. All you got to do is tickle it behind its hind legs
with a willow branch. You'll escape, no problem.
That's correct.
Sprig, catch!
Ooh!
My, my, my.
Aren't you a precocious young frog?
Resourceful, survival-savvy, athletic.
Any other hidden talents?
Hmm. I can do funny things with my arm.
Uh, anything else?
- I play the fiddle. - Show me.
Oh, yes. Good.
Sprig, what did you break? What did he break?
Oh, no, nothing, nothing. I'm Professor Herringbone.
Headmaster here at Newtopia University.
Oh, well, I'm Hopediah Plantar.
Big fan of your school.
I hope one day, far, far in the future,
one of my grandchildren will attend your fine institution.
- Well, what if that one day is today? - Huh?
We have a program for young, promising students of the future!
- And I think Sprig here is a perfect fit! - Huh?
We could do a trial stay for Sprig tonight.
And if it all goes well, he can start with us next semester.
Seems reasonable. Isn't this great, Hop Pop?
- It's just what you wanted. - Hmm.
Well, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Then it's agreed.
Sprig Plantar, your trial begins immediately.
Welcome to the university.
All right! Hop Pop, your dream is coming true.
And don't worry. I won't let you down.
Hey, you gonna throw that bug-disc back or what?
Guess what, Anne. I'm going to college.
Cool. Wait, what?
Now, there are a couple of school rules you'll need to get adjusted to.
If I can handle a mountain mantis, I can totally handle this.
That's the spirit.
Enjoy your first class, my boy.
At Newtopia Prep, we do not bound around heedlessly.
Oh, uh, yes, of course.
We also tuck in our shirts.
And straighten our ties.
And we absolutely do not wear hats.
Ahem!
Hey, hi, how's it going?
All right, class.
Let us begin with a concept of…
Hm? Hm?
Uh, I mean, we all wanted to do that, right?
Mr. Plantar, hand over that contraption this instant!
- Now, back to the lesson. - I can do this. I can do this.
I can do this for Hop Pop.
Just look at how happy he is.
They grow up so fast.
Sprig's tadpole tail.
I remember when it fell off.
It's so cute.
Rodney McDonald, for the last time, get that cow out of the lecture hall.
Eat my shorts, prof!
Sprig gets to do all that? Ugh. Jelly!
Yeah. They're probably having crazy cool parties
and slapping farm animals right now.
Just over that wall.
Hey, Anne, how good at climbing are you?
Oh…
I'm picking up what you're putting down.
Will you two keep it down?
I'm trying to cry up here.
Sorry, Hop Pop.
- I got extra homework. - Lucky.
Mr. Plantar, could I have a word?
Oh. Hi, professor. So, you've heard, huh?
Yes. I've spoken with your professors.
And they all think I'm a terrible student.
I get it. I'll leave.
"Leave"?
Oh, no, no, no.
It's true, your energy can be a bit disruptive,
but it's a good disruption.
- Huh? - And since this is going to be
such a project, we are starting early!
No waiting for next semester.
No, no, no.
Tomorrow, you officially start as a student of Newtopia University!
- What? - With extra classes and extra work,
ooh, we will shape you into something amazing.
"Extra work"? "Extra classes"?
Now sleep well. Because at dawn, the real work begins.
Oh, your family is going to be so proud.
Nope! Nope, nope, nope. Sorry, Hop Pop.
But I can't be here another ding-dang second.
I'm leaving tonight.
All right, students, doors locking in three, two, one.
No! I'm locked in.
I'm… I'm a prisoner.
What's that?
Now, why would a school need all this security?
Unless…
This ain't a school at all.
Maybe they're frog-nappers and this whole thing
was just an elaborate scheme to steal Sprig's beautiful pink skin!
Hang on, Sprig, I'm a-coming!
Guess I got to cut back on those bug burgers.
Hang in there, Sprig!
Got it!
- Ready for the time of your life? - Bring it.
Uh, I think I just killed somebody.
- Oh, shoot. - Make a break for it!
A security breach! Hit the lights!
Nailed it!
Hey, did you just hear someone yell, "Nailed it"?
Release the weevils!
"Weevils"?
Hey, do you hear dogs?
Depends. What's a dog?
Is that Sprig?
Hey, Sprig, where the party at, man?
Can't talk. Running.
Oh, boy. Run!
This is my fault for looking like such a snack.
Hop Pop, what are you doing?
- Coming to save you. - Hang on.
All right, hold it right there.
Sprig and Mr. Plantar? What's going on?
- You're not frog-napping my boy. - You were trying to make me a prisoner.
I'm sorry, frog-nap? "Prisoner"?
Sprig isn't locked up. He can leave whenever he likes.
Then what's with all the gate-locking? The alarms, the guards?
That's for the students' safety.
We are in the city, after all.
There are some dangerous oddballs out there.
Professor, we found these two dangerous oddballs
trying to sneak into the university.
You can torture me all you want. I'll never talk.
Polly? Anne?
We were just looking for a rad college party.
And I was trying to escape.
Sorry, Hop Pop, but I hate this place.
It's boring and stuffy, and they don't let you wear hats.
I know it's your dream. I'm sorry I couldn't make it come true.
"Dream"? "Dream"?
Forget the ding-dang dream.
I ain't ready to let you go yet.
Heck, I ain't letting you go ever!
It's homeschooling for the rest of your life.
Forget higher learning or big opportunities.
You belong at the bottom of the socioeconomic barrel with me.
Yay! Wait, is this a good thing?
Oh, what the heck. Yay!
My boy, you continue to impress.
No one has ever evaded campus security before.
The offer of admission still stands.
Thanks, professor, but I don't think it's for me right now.
In a couple of years, who knows?
Well, we'll be here waiting for you when you're ready.
Now, come on, everyone, let's get back to that crazy party.
I knew it.
Happy you're back, Sprig.
Me, too, Hop Pop.
- Hey, Sprig, go long! - Okay!
Ha-ha. Yeah!