1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:07,443 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,950 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,043 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,221 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,964 Michael Bluth had called a meeting... 6 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,966 with the family's longtime attorney... 7 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:28,298 to discuss his father's incarceration. 8 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:33,068 I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay. 9 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,666 But he was finding it difficult to get any answers. 10 00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:38,747 - How long was I on the phone? - Twenty-five minutes. 11 00:00:38,848 --> 00:00:42,011 With the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour... 12 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,847 'cause it's easier to bill... all right. 13 00:00:44,954 --> 00:00:48,253 - Anything else to go over? - We've got everything else to go over. 14 00:00:48,357 --> 00:00:51,815 We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail. 15 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:56,796 Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? 16 00:00:56,899 --> 00:01:00,335 Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that. 17 00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:02,996 Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. 18 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,972 He was, however, getting along with his sister... 19 00:01:06,075 --> 00:01:08,270 which was unwelcome news to their mother... 20 00:01:08,377 --> 00:01:10,743 who feared this unity might be used against her. 21 00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:12,746 I do have some big news. 22 00:01:12,848 --> 00:01:15,043 It's going to cost you a little money... 20,000, something like that. 23 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:19,883 The courts have agreed to let your father out of prison. 24 00:01:19,989 --> 00:01:21,889 - This is a lawyer! - He's a master! 25 00:01:21,991 --> 00:01:24,084 For the entire afternoon. 26 00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:26,684 What do you mean "afternoon"? What afternoon? 27 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,060 The day before Christmas, in time for the Living Classics Pageant... 28 00:01:30,165 --> 00:01:32,360 because I know how important that is to all of you. 29 00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,902 The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition... 30 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:38,565 consists oflive representations of classic works of art. 31 00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:41,370 The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron... 32 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:44,640 but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit... 33 00:01:44,747 --> 00:01:48,376 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 34 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,577 I don't really want to be Adam this year. 35 00:01:50,686 --> 00:01:53,018 Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line... 36 00:01:53,122 --> 00:01:55,613 behind, what, about five homos. 37 00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,652 That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. 38 00:02:00,763 --> 00:02:03,095 It's just that I have one down at the office now... 39 00:02:03,198 --> 00:02:05,291 and, I mean, it is every day. 40 00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:09,235 I would be happy to play Adam. I'd prefer a speaking part... 41 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,330 Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting. 42 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:15,410 - Zing! - No, no, seriously. I don't want to play Adam. 43 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:17,945 Buster, every year we go through this song and dance... 44 00:02:18,047 --> 00:02:22,609 and every year you say, "Thank you, Mama, for making me play Adam." 45 00:02:22,718 --> 00:02:25,482 - You're doing it. - This concerned Buster... 46 00:02:25,587 --> 00:02:27,919 as he'd been secretly dating his mother's best friend... 47 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:31,015 and chief social rival, Lucille Austero. 48 00:02:31,126 --> 00:02:33,594 Can't we just stay here and play poker again? 49 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:36,130 You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills. 50 00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:39,792 No. Buster, for God's sake, there is music to hear... 51 00:02:39,902 --> 00:02:42,427 places to go, envy to stir. 52 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:45,336 Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. 53 00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:48,035 We are going out, and that is that! 54 00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:51,044 - Oh. - Oh, Buster. Okay, I'm okay. 55 00:02:51,146 --> 00:02:52,977 I'm okay. 56 00:02:53,082 --> 00:02:54,982 Okay. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 57 00:02:55,084 --> 00:02:57,109 - We'll talk about this money later in the week. - Excuse me. 58 00:02:57,219 --> 00:03:00,245 We're not going to pay $20,000 to get my Dad out for one day. 59 00:03:00,356 --> 00:03:03,723 No. It's a bond. It's all refundable, unlike my time. 60 00:03:03,826 --> 00:03:05,794 It's been a complete waste of two hours, okay? 61 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,794 We're just not going to do it, and that's that. 62 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:11,059 - Are you writing two hours? - No, I'm taking notes on the case. 63 00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:13,066 - Let me just see what you just wrote. - You're scaring me. 64 00:03:13,168 --> 00:03:17,696 just leave it alone! It is a gift from a client! Ruining a good meeting. 65 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,900 - Barry's very good. - He's an idiot. 66 00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,910 Exactly. We're not trying to get Dad out for a night. 67 00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:24,912 We're trying to get him out for good. 68 00:03:25,014 --> 00:03:27,505 We're gonna get a new lawyer. I actually know of one who's available. 69 00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:29,516 His name's WayneJarvis. He's a top guy. 70 00:03:29,618 --> 00:03:31,677 WayneJarvis had become famous... 71 00:03:31,787 --> 00:03:33,687 after an employment discrimination suit... 72 00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:36,724 against the family's current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn. 73 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:40,056 It'll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a homo again. 74 00:03:40,162 --> 00:03:42,824 You know, I am really happy that you two are in agreement... 75 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,058 but we're not getting rid of Barry. 76 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:48,159 He's like family, and you can't fire family. 77 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,171 Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby. 78 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,605 Maeby, where have you been? 79 00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:57,008 You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right? 80 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,205 Uh, yes, of course we remember... 81 00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:01,214 and we were worried sick, young lady. 82 00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:05,844 She's fine. Our daughter's all right, everybody, so... 83 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,946 - You said you didn't want her to come. - I said I didn't want you to come. 84 00:04:09,058 --> 00:04:12,721 - Oh, that makes more sense. - Now she's going to think we're totally self-involved. 85 00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:16,025 I can fix this. Buster's probably still in the lobby. 86 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:19,032 Let me go see if I can't get him to give me the part of Adam. 87 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,864 And I'll see if I can get some money from my mom. - Lupe! 88 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,870 There are some juice glasses on the sofa table. 89 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,963 Mama, I'll help you clean up. 90 00:04:26,075 --> 00:04:27,872 There are some salad plates on the piano. 91 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,843 Wow. What a party. You make it seem so effortless. 92 00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:32,937 What do you need money for? A divorce? 93 00:04:33,048 --> 00:04:35,744 No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. 94 00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,978 - It's my credit card debt. - Forget it. 95 00:04:38,087 --> 00:04:39,884 Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me. 96 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,389 Maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money... 97 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,393 to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom." 98 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:50,124 - He said that about me? - I thought it was harsh. 99 00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:53,360 But, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. 100 00:04:53,469 --> 00:04:56,097 A stay-in-bed mom. 101 00:04:56,205 --> 00:04:59,470 Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. 102 00:04:59,575 --> 00:05:01,406 His words. 103 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,910 - I can't believe him. - I know! 104 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,981 just when you were getting along so well. 105 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,847 They've got to be kidding me. 106 00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,640 Michael's brother Gob, meanwhile... 107 00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:24,736 had missed the meeting that morning after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. 108 00:05:24,844 --> 00:05:27,540 Te quiero! 109 00:05:27,647 --> 00:05:30,241 - English, please. - I love you. 110 00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,443 Great. Now I'm late. 111 00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:34,884 And while Gob took his girlfriend for granted... 112 00:05:34,988 --> 00:05:37,650 Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her. 113 00:05:37,757 --> 00:05:40,123 That is not something I can bring to my boss. 114 00:05:40,226 --> 00:05:44,595 Unfortunately, the one tape he could find was oflittle use to him. 115 00:05:44,697 --> 00:05:46,597 Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? 116 00:05:46,699 --> 00:05:48,997 That'll get her hot. 117 00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:52,071 Well, if it isn't the boy who lives under the stairs. 118 00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:54,072 - Hey, Gob. - What are you doing, learning Spanish? 119 00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:58,804 Nope. It's, uh... It's something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah. 120 00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:05,285 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 121 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,684 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 122 00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:09,254 to take his place as Adam. 123 00:06:09,355 --> 00:06:11,653 I don't know, Uncle Buster. 124 00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:14,158 - Well, you don't have the "frontspiece" yet. - "Frontspiece"? 125 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:18,924 Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. 126 00:06:19,032 --> 00:06:22,991 You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. 127 00:06:23,102 --> 00:06:26,799 They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it. 128 00:06:28,374 --> 00:06:31,002 And Maeby was teaching her parents a lesson for forgetting her... 129 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,670 Who knows how long I'll be gone? 130 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,510 when she spotted George Michael. 131 00:06:36,616 --> 00:06:39,380 Nice pecs. Got a kickin' bod. 132 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:43,286 Thus, George Michael found a compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on. 133 00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:47,525 Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn. 134 00:06:47,627 --> 00:06:49,322 It's Michael Bluth for Barry. 135 00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:53,160 - I'm not here. - Barry's not here. Can I give her a message? 136 00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,496 Tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time... 137 00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:58,400 and I'm not paying for this phone call. 138 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:01,201 I am not a girl, you bow-tied... 139 00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:03,798 Go on. Call me something. I'm redoing my kitchen. 140 00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:06,845 That's it. I've had it with this jerk Barry. 141 00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:09,244 I'm going to make Mom sit down with Wayne whether she likes it or not. 142 00:07:09,349 --> 00:07:12,375 - You're the jerk. - Did I just wake you up? I didn't know you were home. 143 00:07:12,485 --> 00:07:15,249 No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day. 144 00:07:15,355 --> 00:07:17,255 Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael... 145 00:07:17,357 --> 00:07:20,417 that she tried meditating to calm herself... 146 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,291 but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. 147 00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:25,557 Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough. 148 00:07:25,665 --> 00:07:28,828 Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along. 149 00:07:28,935 --> 00:07:31,699 Yeah, so did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother... 150 00:07:31,804 --> 00:07:35,331 that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom. 151 00:07:35,441 --> 00:07:37,341 That doesn't even sound like me. 152 00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:40,503 That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. 153 00:07:40,613 --> 00:07:42,911 - Could be Bruce Vilanch. - Then why would she say it? 154 00:07:43,016 --> 00:07:45,541 - Because we're getting along. - Because we're friends again. 155 00:07:45,652 --> 00:07:48,177 You gotta remember Mom typically has nothing in her system... 156 00:07:48,288 --> 00:07:50,279 except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill. 157 00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:52,585 Speaking of which... 158 00:07:52,692 --> 00:07:55,024 Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink... 159 00:07:55,128 --> 00:07:57,028 and air their grievances about their mother. 160 00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:00,827 She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working. 161 00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:03,698 - And how's it going with you and Tobias? - It's not working. 162 00:08:03,803 --> 00:08:07,034 And that's why I wanted her help with my credit card debt. 163 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:09,870 I'm trying to take at least some of the pressure off this marriage. 164 00:08:09,976 --> 00:08:13,377 And if anything, it's worse now that we're sharing a bedroom. 165 00:08:13,479 --> 00:08:16,277 You guys were not sharing a bedroom before? 166 00:08:16,382 --> 00:08:18,714 Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on. 167 00:08:18,818 --> 00:08:23,084 - What's the deal with the cutoffs? - You've got to promise not to tell anyone this. 168 00:08:23,189 --> 00:08:26,886 - Okay. - He's a never-nude. 169 00:08:26,993 --> 00:08:29,325 Is that exactly what it sounds like? 170 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:31,761 Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction... 171 00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:34,458 of never being able to be completely naked. 172 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:37,502 Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder? 173 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:41,540 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed. 174 00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:44,667 I am completely undressed. 175 00:08:44,777 --> 00:08:47,575 - I thought he just liked cutoffs. - Me too. 176 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,080 What about you? What's going on with your love life? 177 00:08:50,183 --> 00:08:52,083 Have you even met anyone since your wife? 178 00:08:52,185 --> 00:08:55,086 That is the one subject I am not eager to talk about, Lindsay. 179 00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:57,452 I love Marta. 180 00:08:59,292 --> 00:09:02,125 - Mom's housekeeper? - Gob's girlfriend. 181 00:09:02,228 --> 00:09:04,696 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 182 00:09:04,797 --> 00:09:08,631 Listen. You're a great guy, and if she doesn't see that... 183 00:09:08,735 --> 00:09:11,863 - then someone else will. - You know what else, Lindsay? You're great. 184 00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:16,032 And I'm gonna move some money around if it's gonna help you get out of debt. 185 00:09:16,142 --> 00:09:17,541 - No, Michael. - Yeah. 186 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:21,205 The hell with Mom. And here. Mom's never gonna get between us again. 187 00:09:22,382 --> 00:09:25,010 The next day, Buster, having pawned off playing Adam... 188 00:09:25,118 --> 00:09:28,087 went to Lucille 2 to ask her out for Christmas Eve. 189 00:09:28,187 --> 00:09:32,283 That is terrific 'cause I got two tickets to the pageant! 190 00:09:32,392 --> 00:09:36,123 My... My mother's going to be there. 191 00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:38,129 And George Michael was trying to pass... 192 00:09:38,231 --> 00:09:40,563 - as a more muscular boy than he actually was. - One hundred. 193 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,635 One hundred? I had you at 10. 194 00:09:42,735 --> 00:09:46,330 I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total. So what's with the suitcase? 195 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:49,135 It's a little test to get my parents to notice me. 196 00:09:49,242 --> 00:09:51,142 You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you? 197 00:09:51,244 --> 00:09:55,578 I've got a really good body, so... no. 198 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,809 Hey, gang. What you doing? 199 00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:00,147 - Just packing up. Packing it on up. - Uh-huh. 200 00:10:00,253 --> 00:10:02,483 Listen, can I talk to you alone for a moment? 201 00:10:02,588 --> 00:10:06,024 - I'll leave you two alone here. - Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you. 202 00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,685 Maeby, can we have the room? 203 00:10:12,432 --> 00:10:16,391 So, as you know, I was hoping to play Adam in this thing... 204 00:10:16,502 --> 00:10:20,529 and I want you to know that I am not threatened. 205 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,904 You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam. 206 00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:25,102 Give me the suit. Give me the suit. 207 00:10:25,211 --> 00:10:28,874 I'm actually wearing it right now, and I can't tell you why. 208 00:10:28,981 --> 00:10:30,881 You're wearing it right now? 209 00:10:30,983 --> 00:10:33,713 I have to wear it all the time. You'd never understand. 210 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:37,187 Oh, please. I'll never under... 211 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:41,056 I'll never understand... that you can never be nude? 212 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:51,292 I understand more than you'll never know. 213 00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,710 Yikes. 214 00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:02,246 Michael finally arranged a meeting with attorney WayneJarvis. 215 00:11:02,348 --> 00:11:04,248 Looking for a more professional approach to our representation. 216 00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:05,647 Well, I'm a professional. 217 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,744 - I'm serious, and I'm a professional. - That's fantastic. 218 00:11:08,855 --> 00:11:11,289 - So how long have you been practicing... - I also don't like small talk. 219 00:11:11,390 --> 00:11:14,723 I find that unprofessional. Why should I be billing you for small talk... 220 00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:16,727 when I'm enjoying it as much as you are? 221 00:11:16,829 --> 00:11:19,889 Then this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball. 222 00:11:19,999 --> 00:11:22,399 When you're ready to get serious, give me a call. 223 00:11:22,502 --> 00:11:26,962 No, no! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm ready. 224 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:30,941 Good. If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail... 225 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:32,943 and we will be countersuing before the end of the year. 226 00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:35,741 We're gonna get this company's name back to where it started. 227 00:11:35,848 --> 00:11:38,408 - Or hopefully higher. - I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that. 228 00:11:38,518 --> 00:11:42,318 I won't, and I appreciate that to a wonderful degree. 229 00:11:42,421 --> 00:11:44,821 My mother is on her way up here... 230 00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:48,621 and she's resistant to the idea of hiring a new attorney. 231 00:11:48,728 --> 00:11:51,196 If she even sees you, she probably won't come in the room. 232 00:11:51,297 --> 00:11:53,822 I shall duck behind the couch. 233 00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:56,367 What a pro. 234 00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,228 - Michael. - Hi. 235 00:11:59,338 --> 00:12:02,569 I need to get the money to get your father out for the pageant. 236 00:12:02,675 --> 00:12:06,111 Actually, that's not why I called you here today, and I'm not doing that. 237 00:12:06,212 --> 00:12:08,806 I gave that money to Lindsay to pay off her credit card debt. 238 00:12:08,915 --> 00:12:12,373 - What'd she do, get you drunk? - No, we just, uh, well... 239 00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:15,147 We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that? 240 00:12:15,254 --> 00:12:17,154 Because that's what she said she'd do. 241 00:12:17,256 --> 00:12:20,384 I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." 242 00:12:20,493 --> 00:12:22,791 Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. 243 00:12:22,895 --> 00:12:24,886 Oh. Her words. 244 00:12:24,997 --> 00:12:26,965 She set me up? 245 00:12:27,066 --> 00:12:31,799 All that stuff about her marital troubles and Tobias being a never-nude? 246 00:12:31,904 --> 00:12:35,806 A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs. 247 00:12:35,908 --> 00:12:37,967 How do you treat somebody in your own family like that... 248 00:12:38,077 --> 00:12:42,446 lying and deceiving and saying anything just to get your own way? 249 00:12:42,548 --> 00:12:45,312 - So what did you want to see me about? - Hmm? 250 00:12:45,418 --> 00:12:48,979 Oh, um, there's a big bowl of candy in my office. 251 00:12:49,088 --> 00:12:51,818 - Why don't you go eat it? - WayneJarvis, attorney at law. 252 00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:56,258 I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office. 253 00:12:56,362 --> 00:12:58,853 Lindsay. 254 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,714 - What are you doing here? - I had to get away from Marta. 255 00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:09,652 If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm gonna kill somebody. 256 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:13,316 - Now Michael's learning Spanish. What's up with that? - Oh, who knows? 257 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,326 He won't get your father out of jail for a night. 258 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,988 - He's bringing in a new attorney. - New attorney? 259 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:21,032 And he's learning Spanish? 260 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,124 He's hiding something. 261 00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:25,863 And I intend to find out what it is. 262 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,566 Do yourself a favor. Get him drunk. 263 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,840 Barry. 264 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,619 I see you're getting closer to our attorney. 265 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:45,350 Well, I just want you to know that I won't be needing your help after all. 266 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:50,157 My brother Michael came through as he always does and as you never do. 267 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:54,221 Whatever it takes to get your relationship with that never-nude back on track. 268 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,701 - Michael told you that? - He couldn't wait to. 269 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,170 And later, while Michael was meeting with Wayne... 270 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,606 My thing with Tobias was a secret like you stealing your brother's girlfriend! 271 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:07,406 - I open up to you, and you run and tell Mommy! - Excuse me. 272 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,378 Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. 273 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:13,145 Like it all wasn't just lies to get me to pay that debt. Isn't that why you got me drunk? 274 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:15,379 - I got you drunk. - Mom told me about your little plan. 275 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,753 - What plan? I had a great time last night! - So did I! 276 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,224 - Then why are we yelling at each other? - Mom. 277 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,728 - Unbelievable. - She did it again. 278 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,731 - All right. We've got to teach her a lesson. - Hmm. 279 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:32,970 Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion... 280 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:35,597 and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way... 281 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,438 that we can humiliate our mother. 282 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,910 Something shaming, something public. 283 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:44,176 I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? 284 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,251 Professional. 285 00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,925 So how are we going to screw Mom? 286 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,688 - Maybe we can get Barry to help. - Forget it. 287 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,856 I think I was right about them all along. You know Barry's taking Mom to the pageant? 288 00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,694 - On a date? - Yeah. 289 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:07,171 Ugh! If Dad could see her on a date with Barry, he'd go crazy. 290 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,969 Which would allow us to hire Wayne. 291 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,870 How do you feel about staying in debt just a little bit longer? 292 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:18,381 So they decided to spend the money Michael had promised Lindsay... 293 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:22,511 to get their father out for the pageant, where he'd catch his wife with Barry. 294 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:26,182 Maeby, too, continued to try to teach her parents a lesson. 295 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:28,852 Okay, so I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. 296 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:32,453 If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America. 297 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:35,125 - That says "Portugal." - That's right. 298 00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:39,364 Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket, but Gob did... 299 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,371 "Portugal." 300 00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,805 which confirmed his suspicions. 301 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:46,503 Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh, Mikey? 302 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,911 And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes. 303 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:53,416 You ready to show me off before God and the whole world? 304 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,714 It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about. 305 00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:59,917 And George Michael finally saw the painting he was going to be re-creating. 306 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,323 And then what "frontspiece'meant. 307 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:18,276 George Sr. got his 24 hours of freedom as the pageant finally began. 308 00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:22,108 You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed. 309 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:26,150 You know, you were so still and godlike. 310 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,618 It was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer. 311 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,089 Glad I could make a difference. 312 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,853 Michael and Lindsay searched the crowd for their mother and Barry... 313 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,418 so they could revel in the public shaming they had engineered. 314 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:42,466 - Mom, what the hell are you doing? - But instead they found her with Wayne. 315 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,468 I don't have to answer that. 316 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,731 I don't know which one of you I'm more disappointed in. 317 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,864 No, it's Wayne. Wayne... 318 00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,602 - I have needs. I am a man! - Hey, watch... 319 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,474 What's the difference? Your father doesn't care about me. 320 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,071 Barry tells me he's not even trying to get out of prison. 321 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,946 - Mom, he's here. Dad's here. - He's here? 322 00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,384 - Yeah, he's here. - Why did you do this? 323 00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,820 - We were trying to teach you a lesson. - You idiots! 324 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:08,052 - If he sees me with Wayne... - We'll be stuck with Barry. 325 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,152 I shall duck behind that little garbage car. 326 00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,498 Guy's a pro. 327 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,500 And now, ladies and gentlemen... 328 00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,332 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 329 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:22,635 And George Michael made his debut... 330 00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:25,141 Hey, that's my... Yikes. 331 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,178 breaking the pageant's cardinal rule. 332 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,906 How dare he! 333 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,983 Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. 334 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:36,077 There are dozens of us. Dozens! 335 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,281 Buster arrived with Lucille Austero... 336 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:42,190 and naturally assumed the yells of disgust were directed toward him. 337 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,421 - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you? 338 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,691 Buster? 339 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,790 Oh, God! I'm sorry. 340 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,268 I'm sorry, Lucille. Yeah. Lucille. 341 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,339 Ma, I'm sorry! 342 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,968 Man! That old lady has really done a number on you, hasn't she? 343 00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:03,544 But George Michael wasn't the only problem with the painting. 344 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,277 - Where is God? - There is no God! 345 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,455 There goes my credit card payment. 346 00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,821 Dad! Dad! 347 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,894 Hey! Dad! 348 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:19,963 - Excuse me. - Dad! 349 00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:23,660 - Hey, Dad, get back here! - No! I'm not going back! 350 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,669 Dad, come here! 351 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,730 - Dad! - Michael, I'm onto you. 352 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,504 The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. 353 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:36,411 - If you're heading for Portugal, it's due south! - What? No, it isn't. 354 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:39,177 Dad, you're not gonna outrun me in that dress. 355 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:43,243 - Let go! For God's sakes, I'm not even wearing a jock. - Dad, are you going too? 356 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,523 No one is going to Portugal, you idiot! 357 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,893 Lindsay and I broke Dad out of jail for a day to catch Mom on a date. 358 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,694 Your mother is on a date? Oh. 359 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,063 Dad! 360 00:18:57,169 --> 00:19:00,502 Oh, oh. 361 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,234 - Dad? - And so, many in the Bluth family... 362 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:06,277 gathered together for Christmas Eve... at prison. 363 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:09,006 - Hey, where'd your muscle suit go? - Wait. You knew? 364 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,513 Yeah. 365 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,550 I took it off. 366 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,421 You did? 367 00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:23,661 You have made some tremendous strides today. 368 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,357 Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter? 369 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,730 Only when I'm around my children. 370 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,703 You reach a certain age, and you have to practically scream to get noticed. 371 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:37,708 They turn you into a monster, and then they call you one. 372 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,210 I don't think you're a monster. 373 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:42,212 And I think you're a lovely girl. 374 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,578 You know what? 375 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,083 I think you and I ought to spend more time together. 376 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,313 Yeah. 377 00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:54,117 - That'll drive them crazy. - Exactly. 378 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,126 And Michael was forced to, once again... 379 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,696 call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn. 380 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,958 Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve. 381 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:04,399 Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double. 382 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,630 So, they're not filing charges. 383 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:11,300 I got them to call your flee from justice "religious expression." 384 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,174 - This is a lawyer. - Yeah, he's... he's very good. 385 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,407 You're gonna have to forfeit that bond. I was way off about that. 386 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,643 Thanks again, Mikey. 387 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,755 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 388 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,883 Are all the guys in here, you know... 389 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,791 Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them. 390 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:34,263 Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. 391 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:38,997 - Hope? - Think. 392 00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:42,767 - How'd it go? - Well, the bad news is you're in debt again... 393 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,469 and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry. 394 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,775 The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again. 395 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,875 - Well, at least we're still pals, huh? - Yeah. 396 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:58,620 That's not really doing it for me this time. 397 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,624 Yeah.