1
00:00:01,629 --> 00:00:04,882
Michael and his son were camping out
at the family cabin

2
00:00:04,966 --> 00:00:06,717
before it was to be relocated.

3
00:00:06,801 --> 00:00:09,095
I'm just in the middle
of a stupid girl problem, that's all.

4
00:00:09,178 --> 00:00:12,056
I don't even have a girl,
much less a stupid one.

5
00:00:12,139 --> 00:00:14,183
No, the problem is stupid.
The girl isn't stupid.

6
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:18,854
But if they ever had a child, it would be,
because the girl was his cousin, Maeby.

7
00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:21,983
Tomorrow morning, before we tell the
cops that that's not Pop-pop in prison,

8
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:24,902
we're gonna go down to the lake,
we're gonna discuss your girl problem,

9
00:00:24,986 --> 00:00:28,531
man to man, and it's gonna be fun,
especially the part about the cops.

10
00:00:28,614 --> 00:00:30,866
But Pop-pop had other plans.

11
00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:36,205
And Michael awoke
to find his camping trip going south.

12
00:00:36,998 --> 00:00:40,584
Well, you better get up now
if you wanna see the lake.

13
00:00:40,668 --> 00:00:43,963
And that was when George, Sr
made a desperate plea.

14
00:00:44,046 --> 00:00:47,425
Promise me you won't send me
back to prison,

15
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:50,052
so I can be with my dear love, Lucille,

16
00:00:50,136 --> 00:00:52,138
in the twilight of her face.

17
00:00:52,221 --> 00:00:55,182
Michael didn't send his father
back to prison,

18
00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:58,853
but instead, arranged for him
to be placed under house arrest...

19
00:00:58,936 --> 00:01:02,273
George, we're never going to be
out of each other's sight.

20
00:01:02,356 --> 00:01:05,192
which made this woman his warden.

21
00:01:05,943 --> 00:01:07,445
Dear God.

22
00:01:07,528 --> 00:01:09,739
Send me back to prison.
You got to send me back to prison.

23
00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:11,115
More touching.

24
00:01:15,619 --> 00:01:17,455
Michael went to his parents'penthouse

25
00:01:17,538 --> 00:01:20,374
to discuss his father's
ever-worsening legal situation.

26
00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:22,835
- Where's everybody?
- How should I know, Michael?

27
00:01:22,918 --> 00:01:25,755
As soon as Father came back,
I've been like the invisible man.

28
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:28,340
Hello, can anyone see me?

29
00:01:28,507 --> 00:01:29,717
Where's your hand, anyway?

30
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,470
Why even bother getting dressed up?
I have no one.

31
00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:35,014
What, Buster, come on now.
You know, if you're really lonely,

32
00:01:35,097 --> 00:01:38,309
maybe it's time you went out there
and you got yourself a girl...

33
00:01:38,392 --> 00:01:39,435
A pet.

34
00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:41,353
- How about a turtle?
- Great.

35
00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:44,899
I've always loved those
leathery little snappy faces.

36
00:01:45,191 --> 00:01:47,359
You certainly have a type.

37
00:01:47,985 --> 00:01:50,821
- Mother, have you seen my rubber hand?
- It's in the dishwasher.

38
00:01:50,905 --> 00:01:52,907
Your father and I were using it
for something.

39
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,074
For God's sake.

40
00:01:54,158 --> 00:01:56,744
Can't you keep my hand to yourself?

41
00:01:56,869 --> 00:01:58,287
Use it for something?

42
00:01:58,370 --> 00:02:01,832
He's just jealous that
I have a man back in my life.

43
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:04,168
And guess what else is back?

44
00:02:06,045 --> 00:02:07,630
My breakfast?

45
00:02:07,922 --> 00:02:11,258
My friskiness. I'm horny, Michael.

46
00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:13,677
No, it's my breakfast.

47
00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:17,223
I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself
with his belt yet.

48
00:02:17,306 --> 00:02:19,808
We're into all kinds of freaky stuff.

49
00:02:19,892 --> 00:02:22,853
Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?

50
00:02:23,270 --> 00:02:25,231
What the hell is this?

51
00:02:25,773 --> 00:02:28,150
Well, now that Dad's back,
I'm gonna perform

52
00:02:28,234 --> 00:02:31,695
one grand illusion for him
before he strangles himself with his belt.

53
00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:34,073
No, no. Turns out they're into that.

54
00:02:34,156 --> 00:02:37,701
Well, check it.
The illusion is called "Free Bird."

55
00:02:37,993 --> 00:02:41,413
A magical bird, me in a beak,
stands on a platform.

56
00:02:41,497 --> 00:02:43,874
There's a puff of smoke, and I'm gone.

57
00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:47,127
Then, seconds later, high above,
in a once empty cage,

58
00:02:47,211 --> 00:02:49,588
- who should appear?
- A guy that kind of looks like you?

59
00:02:49,672 --> 00:02:52,216
No, that's not how I do the trick.

60
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,636
Even if it was,
how did the look-alike get up there?

61
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:57,930
- He was hiding behind this mirror?
- No!

62
00:02:58,013 --> 00:03:02,059
For your information, Dad asked me
to do this on the day he pleads not guilty,

63
00:03:02,142 --> 00:03:04,228
as a spectacular protest.

64
00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:07,022
A protestacular.

65
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:10,526
- Maybe even get it on the local news.
- Excuse me.

66
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:14,863
I was just looking for a marker.
A Magic Marker.

67
00:03:15,656 --> 00:03:18,617
I want it out of my living room.
Put it in Buster's room.

68
00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:21,829
That's where she keeps things
she has no need for.

69
00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:23,163
Oh, God.

70
00:03:23,539 --> 00:03:25,874
I'm gonna run this through again
on pots and pans.

71
00:03:25,958 --> 00:03:28,168
You know, Gob, instead of trying
to impress a father

72
00:03:28,252 --> 00:03:29,670
that couldn't care less about you,

73
00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:31,672
why don't you try spending some time
with your son,

74
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:33,090
who's dying to reconnect with you?

75
00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:36,635
Gob had discovered
he was the father of this boy.

76
00:03:36,719 --> 00:03:38,971
Then just tell him that
Steve Holt stopped by, okay?

77
00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:40,097
Okay.

78
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,099
He'd been ducking him ever since.

79
00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:45,227
Tom, come on over here,
I've got a vitamin for you.

80
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,937
He's the one who can't see me.

81
00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:48,439
Because you were hiding in the trick?

82
00:03:48,522 --> 00:03:51,692
Illusion, Michael.

83
00:03:52,109 --> 00:03:55,529
I so very much would like to be
in your prostaticular,

84
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:57,448
as your lookalike.

85
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,325
Right. They're gonna see the ink.

86
00:04:00,409 --> 00:04:04,246
It's more of a leading-man role.
But it's not really done that way.

87
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:07,583
Guess I shouldn't have used
a permanent marker.

88
00:04:09,585 --> 00:04:11,920
I'm starting to see
why you want that divorce.

89
00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:14,339
Yeah, well, actually, I've been thinking.

90
00:04:14,423 --> 00:04:17,718
Instead of spending money on a divorce,
which can be slow,

91
00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:19,970
well, maybe I should get something faster.

92
00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,514
- Not the car, I said no to the Volvo.
- The Lexus.

93
00:04:22,598 --> 00:04:25,392
The Volvo didn't have satellite radio,
which is crazy,

94
00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:26,810
I mean, what are we, Amish?

95
00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:28,771
I knew you wouldn't have the guts
to go through with the divorce.

96
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:31,732
You're one to talk. You haven't had
a serious relationship since your wife,

97
00:04:31,815 --> 00:04:35,527
and you guys weren't even speaking
toward the end.

98
00:04:36,069 --> 00:04:37,362
A lot of that was the coma.

99
00:04:37,446 --> 00:04:39,823
Yeah, I've heard your side of it.

100
00:04:39,907 --> 00:04:42,242
You haven't had the guts
to meet someone else.

101
00:04:42,326 --> 00:04:44,912
Look who finally got his pants on.

102
00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:48,290
You've got 10 minutes.

103
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:50,167
You got to get me out of here.

104
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,085
You're the one that said no to prison.

105
00:04:52,169 --> 00:04:54,880
I was wrong. There you just
had to shut your eyes and take it.

106
00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:56,632
Here you have to shut your eyes
and give it.

107
00:04:56,715 --> 00:04:59,426
Now listen. We can't just go in there
and plead not guilty.

108
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:01,261
We have to have someone big behind us,

109
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,138
our own private Matlock.

110
00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:05,098
So I made some calls and I got him.

111
00:05:05,182 --> 00:05:07,226
- Got who?
- Andy Griffith.

112
00:05:07,392 --> 00:05:10,771
- You never saw Matlock?
- Not a real attorney, Dad.

113
00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:14,525
Now, for 10 grand
he'll actually sit behind us in court,

114
00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:18,946
and read the paper. For $15,000,
he'll actually sit at the defence table.

115
00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:22,824
For $20,000, he'll twice lean forward

116
00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:25,702
and whisper something in your ear.

117
00:05:26,828 --> 00:05:28,372
White suit, that's extra.

118
00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:31,416
Boy, that's an awful lot of money
for the stupidest idea I've ever heard.

119
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,544
The juries love him.

120
00:05:33,627 --> 00:05:37,631
That's just it, Dad. There won't be
a jury because we are pleading guilty.

121
00:05:37,714 --> 00:05:39,132
I am not...

122
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,635
Well, I didn't want to tell you this.

123
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:44,471
- Are you ready for the bombshell?
- Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell?

124
00:05:44,555 --> 00:05:47,975
I'm a patsy. I was set up by the Brits.

125
00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:51,728
A group of British builders
operating outside the OC...

126
00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,481
- Don't call it that.
contacted me for a partnership

127
00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:55,983
to build homes overseas.

128
00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:58,443
I did not know they meant Iraq.

129
00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:00,779
They've got a picture of you
with Saddam Hussein.

130
00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:04,074
I thought that was the guy
who played the Soup Nazi.

131
00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:06,535
- Come on.
- I told him how much I liked his work.

132
00:06:06,618 --> 00:06:09,538
Anyway, the Brits used that picture
to blackmail me.

133
00:06:09,621 --> 00:06:12,124
A picture like that, Michael,
can end your career.

134
00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:13,333
Not in every case.

135
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:15,794
These are dangerous people, Michael.

136
00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:19,548
They'll do whatever it takes to get
inside this family and just bring us down.

137
00:06:19,631 --> 00:06:21,967
- British people.
- They're polite,

138
00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:25,554
and the men all sound gay,
but they will rip out your heart

139
00:06:25,637 --> 00:06:27,514
and their breath...

140
00:06:27,723 --> 00:06:29,141
And you wanna go after these people?

141
00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:31,810
Well, yes,
it takes a little courage, Michael.

142
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,645
I know that's not your strongest suit.

143
00:06:33,729 --> 00:06:37,190
You're even scared
to ask a girl out on a date.

144
00:06:37,274 --> 00:06:39,943
Why does everybody think
that I'm scared of girls?

145
00:06:40,027 --> 00:06:41,153
Because you're a chicken.

146
00:06:41,236 --> 00:06:42,362
- You're a chicken.
- No, I'm not.

147
00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:48,535
- What are you doing?
- Michael and women?

148
00:06:49,411 --> 00:06:51,997
That's what I was just telling him.

149
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:55,417
Look, I haven't found the right girl.
When I do, I will ask her out.

150
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,211
Has anyone in this family
ever even seen a chicken?

151
00:06:58,295 --> 00:07:00,922
Wait, wait. I got the perfect thing.

152
00:07:01,048 --> 00:07:02,632
That's enough.

153
00:07:02,758 --> 00:07:04,176
I will give it one day, all right?

154
00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:06,720
I'll see if there's any evidence
of these nefarious Brits.

155
00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:09,181
But I'm warning you, if I can't,
we're pleading guilty.

156
00:07:09,264 --> 00:07:12,768
You're either going back to jail, or if the
judge shows absolutely no mercy at all,

157
00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,519
you'll be staying here with my mother.

158
00:07:14,603 --> 00:07:18,315
Lindsay, I didn't want to tell you earlier,
but I did get you a car.

159
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:21,026
- Is it the Lexus?
- It's more like a Lincoln.

160
00:07:29,076 --> 00:07:30,535
Oh, come on!

161
00:07:31,244 --> 00:07:34,414
There's no satellite radio,
but there's a banjo in the closet.

162
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:36,500
And watch out for live-ins.

163
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,877
You will get some live-ins.

164
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:51,640
Michael was investigating his father's case
in the English section of Orange County.

165
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:56,812
Lanes reversed! You're driving on
the wrong side, you blooming idiot.

166
00:07:57,145 --> 00:08:00,607
I need to check the records
for any British-owned building businesses

167
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:03,235
that would have applied for licence
about 10 years ago.

168
00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:04,694
I'm so sorry.

169
00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:08,073
You'll need a U.K. passport
to check those files.

170
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:10,742
They're for British eyes only.

171
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:14,621
Don't I look kind of British?

172
00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:16,623
Perhaps if you're willing to lose £20.

173
00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:20,836
The clerk was asking for a bribe,
but this was lost on Michael.

174
00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:22,712
You guys do go for the jugular.

175
00:08:22,796 --> 00:08:25,006
If you find someone with a passport,
we're here till 8:00,

176
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,342
and do stay for the Poppins.

177
00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:30,387
- So Michael went to the local pub...
- Bloody Yank.

178
00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:33,473
to see if he could find someone
with a British passport.

179
00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:37,477
Welcome to The Yellowfang.
I am Lionel, and the soup of the day is...

180
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:40,397
- What's the soup of the day, Mum?
- Bread.

181
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,899
And the soup of the day is bread,

182
00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:44,859
unless you're just here for the Poppins.

183
00:08:44,943 --> 00:08:49,281
And that's when Michael saw
the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

184
00:08:49,406 --> 00:08:51,992
Not her. Wait for it.

185
00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,459
Are you from Wee Britain?

186
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:03,336
Great Britain, actually.

187
00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:08,466
I was wondering if you might be willing
to go somewhere with me. I will pay you.

188
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:12,262
- You'll pay me?
- Not... Not for sex.

189
00:09:12,345 --> 00:09:15,765
You're gonna think that I'm Jack the
Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes...

190
00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:19,144
- I'm not a prostitute.
- Then I shall let you live.

191
00:09:20,562 --> 00:09:23,481
That's my worst hello. Let me try again.

192
00:09:23,565 --> 00:09:25,734
- My name is Michael.
- Rita.

193
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:30,530
So I need access to these files
that are apparently for British eyes only.

194
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:34,659
Well, lucky for you,
my whole face is British.

195
00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:40,540
It's just across the street, here.
I really appreciate...

196
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,459
Hello, I thought you said
you were open till 8:00.

197
00:09:42,542 --> 00:09:43,793
Oh yes, GMT.

198
00:09:43,877 --> 00:09:46,755
Everything here
is on Greenwich Mean Time.

199
00:09:46,838 --> 00:09:48,757
What a curious street.

200
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:53,094
Wait, Rita, I don't suppose that
you're here tomorrow morning?

201
00:09:53,178 --> 00:09:56,348
No, not in the morning, no.
I'll be back at Slowbrooke.

202
00:09:56,431 --> 00:09:59,351
Slowbrooke, the private school?
You teach kids, huh?

203
00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:01,102
I like to think that they teach me.

204
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:03,313
Like what?
How to eat crayons, throw tantrums?

205
00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,148
No. Not when I'm there.

206
00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:06,483
I'm very good.

207
00:10:06,566 --> 00:10:10,612
I didn't mean to impugn your ability or...

208
00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:13,656
This is turning into
one of my worst goodbyes.

209
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:18,995
Farewell, and our paths shan't cross again.

210
00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:21,247
As you like it.

211
00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,916
Michael would have walked away forever,

212
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:25,376
but he was struck by something
he remembered from his childhood.

213
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:26,628
You know...

214
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:30,673
Ladies and Gentleman,
it's the flight of the Mary Poppins.

215
00:10:30,757 --> 00:10:32,717
Mary Poppins will take flight...

216
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,803
Must be the Poppins.

217
00:10:34,886 --> 00:10:37,180
I'm sorry, it's wrong to laugh. I don't...

218
00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:40,433
No, it was good. I liked it.
It's just, I was gonna ask you,

219
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:43,686
preschools just go half day, right,
and I'm not trying to pick you up,

220
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:47,565
but is there anyway that I can come by,
pick you up, bring you here?

221
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:48,817
Yeah, I...

222
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,986
I suppose I could sneak out at naptime.

223
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,905
Yes? Perfect. Great.

224
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:57,075
And I shall drop you off alive,
hooker or no.

225
00:10:59,327 --> 00:11:02,288
- Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob's trick...
- It's right here.

226
00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:05,542
ventured into a costume shop
he'd stumbled upon...

227
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,585
- Look who's back.
years earlier.

228
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:10,046
Are you gonna buy this time,
or you just curious?

229
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:12,841
I suppose I'm buy-curious.

230
00:11:12,924 --> 00:11:14,509
I have a big TV opportunity.

231
00:11:14,592 --> 00:11:17,178
This is where all the big TVs come.

232
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:20,431
- Let's start with the Eve Arden.
- All right.

233
00:11:20,557 --> 00:11:22,892
Michael, meanwhile, called his sister.

234
00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:26,688
I wanted to call and tell you that I got
myself a date with a beautiful woman

235
00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:29,899
named Rita and you're the chicken,
not me.

236
00:11:33,528 --> 00:11:35,989
Okay, that's a pretty good chicken.

237
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:51,504
Look out! Crazy Brit!

238
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:56,467
- What's the problem?
- I know what you were doing back there,

239
00:11:56,551 --> 00:12:00,305
and if you've got half a... brain,
you'll leave it alone.

240
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:03,141
You talking about back in Wee Britain?
I was just asking a few questions.

241
00:12:03,224 --> 00:12:04,767
Yeah. A few too many if you ask me.

242
00:12:04,851 --> 00:12:08,229
How would you like someone going after
some stupid person in your family?

243
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:10,565
Now, back off, you... ponce.

244
00:12:15,945 --> 00:12:18,031
Dad was not kidding about their breath.

245
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:25,622
Michael had just been threatened
by a foul-mouthed British man.

246
00:12:25,997 --> 00:12:29,584
- It's Michael. I'm not dressed.
- Gob, this is Michael.

247
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,920
Shouldn't you be getting ready
for your "Free Bird" trick?

248
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,714
I couldn't get the rights to "Free Bird."

249
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,051
I'm thinking about calling it "Free",
I don't know, "Chicken."

250
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:40,970
I thought you were investigating
Dad's sinister British connection.

251
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:44,265
Yeah, I tried, but when I was leaving,

252
00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:47,518
one of those British guys came after me
and told me to back off.

253
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:50,980
I can't believe it, but Dad may have been
telling the truth. This might be dangerous.

254
00:12:51,064 --> 00:12:52,774
So you came back here to hide like a child.

255
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,692
What are you doing
locked in my office, exactly?

256
00:12:54,776 --> 00:12:56,527
Hiding from a child.

257
00:12:56,611 --> 00:12:58,488
- Big difference.
- Gob, Steve Holt is your son.

258
00:12:58,571 --> 00:13:01,282
- He probably feels a connection.
- He doesn't know what he feels!

259
00:13:01,366 --> 00:13:03,409
I'm tired of being told.

260
00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:07,622
My God, what is this feeling?

261
00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:10,375
You know, the feeling that you're feeling

262
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:13,419
is just what many of us call a feeling.

263
00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:16,381
It's not like envy or even hungry.

264
00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,091
Could it be love?

265
00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,675
I know what an erection feels like,
Michael.

266
00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:23,554
No, it's the opposite.
It's like my heart is getting hard.

267
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,600
Maybe I am ready to be a father.

268
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,810
Dad?

269
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,145
It's my son, Gob.

270
00:13:31,229 --> 00:13:33,606
You know, and what is it
with the fathers in this family

271
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,316
always trying to deceive their...

272
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:38,111
And that's when Michael realised
that the man who threatened him

273
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:40,988
must have been hired by George, Sr.

274
00:13:41,072 --> 00:13:42,657
I'm the patsy.

275
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,034
Well, I gotta go.

276
00:13:45,118 --> 00:13:48,830
George Michael, I'm sorry, but we're
gonna talk about that girl later, okay?

277
00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:50,873
Now all I have to do is find
that lookalike, Michael.

278
00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:52,083
Michael.

279
00:13:57,839 --> 00:14:01,592
- That's a woman's wig.
- I was told it was a bob.

280
00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:06,889
- And Michael confronted his father.
- Find out anything?

281
00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:09,308
Yeah, I did, Dad. I found out that no matter
how many times I promise myself

282
00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:11,853
that I'm not gonna fall for it,
I always end up getting hustled by you.

283
00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:14,021
- What are you talking about?
- The guy that you hired

284
00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:16,315
to threaten me after I looked
into the British connection.

285
00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:17,984
Wait, wait. Somebody threatened you?

286
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,486
That's a wonderful performance, Dad.
You're a regular Brad Garrett,

287
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,238
but I don't watch TV
at 3:00 in the afternoon

288
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,948
and you can forget
about pleading not guilty.

289
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,867
- Guilty. We got to plead guilty.
- What?

290
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,702
Michael, I didn't hire anyone,

291
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:31,581
I swear. If someone came after you,
they're for real.

292
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,792
- Come on. Are you serious?
- I told you, these are bad guys.

293
00:14:34,876 --> 00:14:37,336
They do not want this information out.

294
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,797
He said that he was gonna come
after somebody stupid in our family.

295
00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:42,758
- That could be Buster.
- Could be Gob.

296
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,469
- You're not guilty.
- We have to plead guilty.

297
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:46,679
We got to plead guilty.

298
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,056
We've got to throw ourselves
on the mercy of the court.

299
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:52,018
- We got to get Andy Griffith.
- Andy Griffith in the suit.

300
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,770
And Michael went to cancel with Rita.

301
00:14:54,854 --> 00:14:56,898
Sorry, I just wanted to let you know

302
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:59,108
that I'm not going to be needing
your passport after all.

303
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:01,402
We're just gonna go to court, plead guilty.
That will be that.

304
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,362
So, it's bye-bye to Rita, then?

305
00:15:03,446 --> 00:15:05,072
Yes, I'll shake your hand goodbye,

306
00:15:05,156 --> 00:15:08,659
but actually, I was wondering
if you might want to...

307
00:15:08,826 --> 00:15:11,662
I wouldn't. I'll make you blue.

308
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,957
Rita was just talking
about the finger paint,

309
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:16,667
but Michael didn't know that.

310
00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:21,422
I was just wondering if you might want
to bid me fair morrow.

311
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:26,135
Michael was filled with self-loathing.

312
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:27,845
Had he been Jack The Ripper,

313
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:31,515
he would have soothed himself
in a most unsavoury way.

314
00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:36,312
But instead, he just sat in his car
and ate a whole thing of candy beans.

315
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,776
And back at the penthouse,
Gob had been called to see his father.

316
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,737
New plan, right? You put me in the trick.

317
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,489
You make me the guy in the cage.

318
00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:49,742
Okay, I just got to say,
I'm really blown away by this.

319
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:52,995
- You really want to be part of my world.
- I do.

320
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:55,998
God, I feel like my heart is straining
through my shirt.

321
00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,751
They take the ankle monitor off
when I get to court,

322
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,879
so you make me disappear,
you put Tobias in the cage,

323
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,965
and by the time they realise
that that guy is not me,

324
00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:07,551
I'm running through the storm drains
to freedom.

325
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:09,637
Where everyday it rains

326
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,515
pennies from heaven.

327
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,772
Bird, today...

328
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:23,067
Gob, I know you're looking
for a twin for your illusion

329
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,903
and there's somebody
I'd like to put in a plug for.

330
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,490
Correction, make that 4,000 plugs.

331
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,033
- God.
- Come on.

332
00:16:31,117 --> 00:16:33,369
Mr Gay, he's bleeding! Mr Gay!

333
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:35,413
No, I was scared, too,

334
00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:38,499
but I realised it was
of being a leading man.

335
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,836
Oh, I can just taste those meaty,
leading-man parts in my mouth.

336
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,754
All right, listen to me.
The trick has changed.

337
00:16:43,838 --> 00:16:45,381
We want you to play me now.

338
00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:48,008
But that would mean I'd have to

339
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,846
shave my very tender head, I see.

340
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:56,350
Okay. Well, perhaps I jumped the gun on
those new headshots.

341
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,855
And later that day,
Michael arrived at the courthouse.

342
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:03,274
I can't believe
you're just giving up like this.

343
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,484
No, the guy threatened our family,
we have to plead guilty.

344
00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,736
No, I'm talking about that girl
you said you had a date with.

345
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,905
All right, so I lied. It wasn't a date.

346
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,240
But you could have made one with her.

347
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:13,367
I think that Poppins
knocked the courage out of you.

348
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,119
I guess I'm just not in her league,
you know.

349
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,745
How did you hear about the Poppins?

350
00:17:16,829 --> 00:17:17,913
It was on the news.

351
00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:21,208
An unlicensed Mary Poppins takes down
another tourist.

352
00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:24,879
Is this the work of the itsy-bitsy IRA?

353
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,547
I don't wanna talk about this right now.

354
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,341
Dad, we're gonna go in there,
Andy Griffith's gonna whisper something,

355
00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:33,387
- we're gonna plead guilty, nice and simple.
- You didn't hear. We lost Andy.

356
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,639
- What are you talking about?
- He didn't like his trailer.

357
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,183
He thought we were making fun of him.

358
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:41,729
No one was making fun of Andy Griffith.
I can't emphasise that enough.

359
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:47,818
Oh, God, don't look now,
but Gob's doing his magic show.

360
00:17:48,027 --> 00:17:51,196
Boy, a stupid magic show.
We gotta watch this.

361
00:17:51,322 --> 00:17:52,823
A big turnout.

362
00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:55,075
I think a lot of people are probably here
for the free chicken.

363
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:58,495
Gather around, humans, and I will
show you the plight of

364
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:04,460
an innocent man
who yearns to be free as a bird.

365
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,380
I've got to start labelling these suits.

366
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:13,636
Who shall I send on this journey
to that dangling cage?

367
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,304
Pick me.

368
00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:17,514
Look, can I be in this stupid trick?

369
00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:20,476
- Please?
- Steve Holt, what are you doing here?

370
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:22,978
I just came to see the magic show.

371
00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:25,731
- I didn't know it was you.
- Do you like magic?

372
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,317
No, I love it.

373
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,696
And at that moment, Gob chose to show
his own son what he was capable of.

374
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:37,326
I've decided
I will be performing the feat myself.

375
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,328
Wait, we're back to hair?

376
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:42,956
Fortunately for Tobias, however,
he'd found it too painful

377
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,042
to part with his new hair.

378
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,544
Boy, did I catch a break.

379
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:50,005
So he opted to wear a bald cap.

380
00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:54,385
This chicken shall be wrongly cooped.

381
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:01,642
- Is that a chicken?
- Oh, my God.

382
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,394
Dad, are you all right?

383
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:05,521
I fooled his own son.

384
00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:07,564
I am a leading man.

385
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:11,276
And Gob himself was running
through the storm drains...

386
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,654
- I'm sorry, Steve.
free as a chicken.

387
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,656
I need to be a father.

388
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,493
And George, Sr needed to escape, too.

389
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,994
I got him.

390
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,624
Keeps him out of the kitchen.

391
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:29,169
And Michael, seeing what a life
of cowardice leads to,

392
00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:31,088
decided he had enough of it.

393
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:35,592
And soon George, Sr came to
and it was time to render a plea.

394
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:38,303
The prosecution's got that stud
from L.A. Law.

395
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:41,014
- It's Harry Hamlin.
- I love my trailer.

396
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:44,435
In the matter of The People v. Bluth,
how do you plead?

397
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:47,729
We plead not guilty.

398
00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:49,773
Order in the court.

399
00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,650
- Who let a flash bulb camera in here?
- What are you doing?

400
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:52,860
I'm tired of the cowardice.

401
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,821
You're not guilty, we're gonna fight this.
We've got the truth on our side.

402
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,031
They don't have a... prayer.

403
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326
Send the cheque to my accountant.

404
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:03,662
This is where Andy could have helped us.

405
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,707
- Well, I'm proud of you.
- It's about time I showed a little courage.

406
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,042
I just hope those Brits aren't as dangerous
as Dad said.

407
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:10,544
Well, they're not
gonna get any closer to us.

408
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,296
If they do, we're gonna see them coming.

409
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,423
Oh, my God. That's Rita.

410
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:17,634
I told her I was coming here and she came.

411
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,511
- That's Rita?
- Yeah.

412
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:24,308
Wow. She is way out of his league.

413
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,936
Look, I'm glad you're here.

414
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:31,023
I wanna call you sometime
and take you out.

415
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,902
I'd really like that.

416
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:40,866
And then, just to prove to himself
he wasn't a coward,

417
00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,118
he went one step further.

418
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:50,417
And Rita was happy to be
in Michael's life as well,

419
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,796
for you see, Rita,

420
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,924
had a secret of her own.

421
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,107
English