1 00:00:01,874 --> 00:00:04,252 and the one son who had no choice 2 00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:06,629 but to keep them all together. 3 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,678 It's Arrested Development. 4 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:19,308 Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney. 5 00:00:19,392 --> 00:00:22,728 Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn. 6 00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:24,856 I think I can do for you everything he did. 7 00:00:24,939 --> 00:00:27,817 Plus skew younger, with juries and so forth. 8 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,026 Any other questions? 9 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:32,530 Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads? 10 00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:37,910 Are you a CEO, CFO, or other executive facing these or similar charges? 11 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:41,914 Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? 12 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,460 You don't need double talk, you need Bob Loblaw. 13 00:00:48,879 --> 00:00:51,090 Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw. 14 00:00:51,173 --> 00:00:53,634 We need to find out if the government has a good case against us. 15 00:00:53,718 --> 00:00:56,637 I mean, there is a lot of proof that my father was building houses in Iraq. 16 00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:59,515 Well, your father claims he was put up to it by a British syndicate. 17 00:00:59,599 --> 00:01:00,975 And you've been threatened. Isn't that correct? 18 00:01:01,058 --> 00:01:02,184 It was. 19 00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:05,855 How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? 20 00:01:05,938 --> 00:01:07,982 Now, back off, you... ponce. 21 00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:10,151 It's been a week, nothing's happened. 22 00:01:10,234 --> 00:01:13,821 Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck. 23 00:01:13,904 --> 00:01:15,197 Oh, yeah, that's my father. 24 00:01:15,281 --> 00:01:17,908 That's why we had the meeting here, so that he couldn't interfere. 25 00:01:17,992 --> 00:01:22,371 Interfere? I'd have pulled down your pants and spanked your ass raw. 26 00:01:22,997 --> 00:01:24,206 I'm sorry, have we met? 27 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,834 Yes. This is Larry Middleman. He's your father's surrogate. 28 00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:27,960 Surrogate? 29 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,129 That's right, you dumb... 30 00:01:30,212 --> 00:01:32,214 I hired this guy to wear a camera in his hat 31 00:01:32,298 --> 00:01:35,051 so he could be my eyes and ears while I'm stuck in this penthouse. 32 00:01:35,343 --> 00:01:40,222 This camera helps me keep tabs on you idiots while this thing rubs my ankle raw. 33 00:01:40,306 --> 00:01:42,641 I mean, look at this thing. 34 00:01:42,725 --> 00:01:44,727 - I can't even go in the hallway... - Without hearing that... 35 00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,104 Beep. Beep. Beep. 36 00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:49,940 That's one of my partners. Excuse me. 37 00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:52,943 I would like to be one of your partners. 38 00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,321 Do you think he got that, the two meanings? 39 00:01:55,404 --> 00:01:57,323 He's running pretty fast. I think he did. 40 00:01:57,406 --> 00:01:59,408 Well, he was flirting earlier, I'll tell you that. 41 00:01:59,742 --> 00:02:02,328 Just so you know, I'm looking to get divorced. 42 00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:04,497 - Are you interested? - Yes. 43 00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:10,628 Let's call that a half hour. 44 00:02:10,711 --> 00:02:12,755 So you're not the only one who's got a date later. 45 00:02:12,838 --> 00:02:13,881 You've got a date? 46 00:02:13,964 --> 00:02:16,217 Her name's Rita, she teaches children at a private school, 47 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:17,426 and we're just having lunch. 48 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:21,931 Lunch. Well, better bring some dog food, 'cause all the girls you date are dogs. 49 00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:23,974 And dogs love dog food, right, Pop? 50 00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:26,519 Shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to watch the game. 51 00:02:26,602 --> 00:02:30,231 Just trying to make you laugh, Dad. That's all I ever wanted. 52 00:02:30,314 --> 00:02:31,774 and Smith, the catcher... 53 00:02:31,857 --> 00:02:34,235 You know, Gob, she's not a dog. It's just the opposite, actually. 54 00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:38,489 She's exquisitely beautiful. She's fun, carefree, smart. 55 00:02:38,781 --> 00:02:39,907 Full of surprises. 56 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:42,868 Including the fact that she was working with this man, 57 00:02:42,952 --> 00:02:45,496 who was currently dropping her off for her date. 58 00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:48,624 Now, all this fun and carefree, eh? It's only gonna fool him for so long. 59 00:02:48,707 --> 00:02:50,668 - I'm a big girl. - Yeah. 60 00:02:50,751 --> 00:02:52,711 Well, if he finds out what you really are, 61 00:02:52,795 --> 00:02:55,089 he might not make things so simple for you. 62 00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:58,592 Rita, don't forget your hat. 63 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,015 And who am I kidding? She's too good for me. 64 00:03:05,099 --> 00:03:06,225 How do you think I feel? 65 00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,894 Bob Loblaw's a handsome professional man. 66 00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:11,647 And I'm only used to, well, none of those things. 67 00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:14,900 Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? 68 00:03:14,984 --> 00:03:16,777 An analyst and a therapist. 69 00:03:16,861 --> 00:03:18,821 The world's first analrapist. 70 00:03:18,904 --> 00:03:22,116 Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards. 71 00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:24,034 Yes. No, it did not look good on paper. 72 00:03:24,118 --> 00:03:26,078 But I didn't stop because of the police inquiries. 73 00:03:26,161 --> 00:03:28,497 I stopped to raise our little daughter. 74 00:03:28,581 --> 00:03:32,418 But since we both have started to grow hair in unexpected places, 75 00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,962 I suppose I shall soon be working as a leading man, 76 00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:36,881 and she may soon start dating. 77 00:03:36,964 --> 00:03:39,842 - Maeby had already started dating. - All right. See you tomorrow. 78 00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:42,970 - Another date with Steve Holt? - Yeah. 79 00:03:43,053 --> 00:03:45,014 - We're getting pretty serious. - They weren't. 80 00:03:45,097 --> 00:03:48,434 She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael. 81 00:03:48,517 --> 00:03:50,144 That Steve sure knows how to please a lady. 82 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:53,939 Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. 83 00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:58,027 I mean, I guess it makes sense, you know, older guys expect certain things. 84 00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:01,155 - They do? - What a fun, sexy time for you. 85 00:04:01,238 --> 00:04:03,532 I'd be very careful of these British people. 86 00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:06,869 They're gonna try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family. 87 00:04:06,952 --> 00:04:09,705 - So you're saying, shred the evidence? - No, that's illegal. 88 00:04:09,788 --> 00:04:11,790 The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. 89 00:04:11,874 --> 00:04:14,710 - Without it, they don't have a case. - So you're saying, shred the evidence? 90 00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:15,878 That's a felony. 91 00:04:15,961 --> 00:04:17,963 And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that. 92 00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:20,799 - Gotcha. Wink. - Wink. 93 00:04:21,508 --> 00:04:23,510 Did you say "wink", or did you wink? 94 00:04:23,636 --> 00:04:25,471 He said that too, Dad. 95 00:04:25,554 --> 00:04:28,265 - We'll talk soon, folks. Thank you. - Where you going? 96 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:29,850 Where's the surrogate going? 97 00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:32,936 Stay there. I wanna see what he's gonna say. Don't leave. 98 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,647 See you, Pop. 99 00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:37,941 You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress your fake father, 100 00:04:38,025 --> 00:04:40,069 maybe you should spend some time with your real son. 101 00:04:40,152 --> 00:04:43,530 - Steve Holt's not my son. - Steve Holt? What, the moron jock? 102 00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:46,950 - That's my son, you pothead. - Hey, that's my son. 103 00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:50,788 Wait, wait. So that means that Steve Holt is my cousin? And Maeby's cousin, too. 104 00:04:50,871 --> 00:04:53,248 I guess. Shoot, I'm late for my date. 105 00:04:53,332 --> 00:04:55,959 Yeah, at the kennel. Right? 106 00:04:56,794 --> 00:05:00,631 Sorry, you lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael. Home run. 107 00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:04,093 And Michael hurried to the British section of Orange County for his date. 108 00:05:04,176 --> 00:05:06,553 Crazy American. Get out of the road! 109 00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:11,934 Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant. 110 00:05:12,017 --> 00:05:14,353 Hello. I'm sorry I'm late. 111 00:05:14,436 --> 00:05:17,815 No bother. I've been having such fun on this spaceship. 112 00:05:17,898 --> 00:05:21,151 Strike one, huh? Shall we go ahead and sit down? 113 00:05:24,321 --> 00:05:25,614 Hey, dudes. 114 00:05:25,697 --> 00:05:30,619 I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas to wash down this basket of doughnuts. 115 00:05:30,702 --> 00:05:31,954 And get your nachos stepping in. 116 00:05:32,037 --> 00:05:34,248 Guess this is what the British think of Americans. 117 00:05:34,331 --> 00:05:37,209 - We like our food. - Whatever do you mean? 118 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,461 Yeah. 119 00:05:39,711 --> 00:05:41,922 You know, Rita, you're gonna figure this out eventually, 120 00:05:42,005 --> 00:05:44,591 but I have not been on a date in a long, long time. 121 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:47,010 - Neither have I. - I wonder why. 122 00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:51,265 - I'll bet men ask you out constantly. - Not men like you. 123 00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:53,308 I seem to only meet little boys. 124 00:05:53,392 --> 00:05:55,394 Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool. 125 00:05:55,477 --> 00:05:57,771 And they think the stupidest things are funny. 126 00:05:57,855 --> 00:06:00,149 Yeah. That's a cultural problem, is what it is. 127 00:06:00,232 --> 00:06:03,569 You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, 128 00:06:03,652 --> 00:06:04,903 you know, arrested development. 129 00:06:04,987 --> 00:06:06,864 Hey, that's the name of the show. 130 00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:10,909 No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical... 131 00:06:11,577 --> 00:06:15,122 Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier. 132 00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,374 Well, I'm getting back on the space shuttle. 133 00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:19,751 No, no. I'm sorry, sorry. Sit, please. 134 00:06:19,835 --> 00:06:21,628 Let's talk about you. Tell me about your family. 135 00:06:21,712 --> 00:06:22,754 No. 136 00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:28,093 They're pushy, bossy, want to control me. What about your family? 137 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,554 I'd love to meet your family. 138 00:06:30,637 --> 00:06:34,641 Michael knew from experience that this would not turn out well. 139 00:06:35,058 --> 00:06:38,228 Usually once or twice a week we get... 140 00:06:40,564 --> 00:06:43,901 If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium? 141 00:06:43,984 --> 00:06:48,113 seen on a windshield. Right? You can see that, right? 142 00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:52,034 I probably should warn you about my mother. 143 00:06:52,117 --> 00:06:54,453 - Hi. - Let's start behind the fridge. 144 00:06:54,536 --> 00:06:56,914 So he came up with a solution so simple, 145 00:06:56,997 --> 00:07:00,292 he wondered why he'd never told anyone it before. 146 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,669 I don't have a family. 147 00:07:03,211 --> 00:07:06,465 I can't believe I've never told anybody that before. 148 00:07:06,548 --> 00:07:10,344 - That's so sad. - Yes, sad. Super-sad. Shall we eat? 149 00:07:15,057 --> 00:07:19,269 Michael had started a relationship by lying about the existence of his family. 150 00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:22,522 I think this went really well, huh? Maybe some time we can have dinner? 151 00:07:22,606 --> 00:07:24,149 Could I see your house? 152 00:07:24,232 --> 00:07:26,902 Michael was caught off guard by the question. 153 00:07:28,195 --> 00:07:30,948 No, no, I can't do that. 154 00:07:31,073 --> 00:07:33,659 - Okay. Bye-bye. - Bye. 155 00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,870 And he vowed not to be caught off guard again. 156 00:07:36,953 --> 00:07:39,289 Well, I didn't mean that we... 157 00:07:39,623 --> 00:07:43,210 - So, did he invite you over, then? - Not yet, but he will. 158 00:07:44,419 --> 00:07:46,797 So Michael went back to work. 159 00:07:47,214 --> 00:07:49,466 Hey, who brought in the wood... 160 00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:56,098 Gob, you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail. 161 00:07:56,181 --> 00:07:59,101 Dad told me to. How can I say no to that face? 162 00:07:59,184 --> 00:08:02,604 Get this stuff out of here and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it. 163 00:08:02,688 --> 00:08:04,231 Are you in on this too? 164 00:08:04,314 --> 00:08:07,859 No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father. 165 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,196 And said he's never felt more free in his life. 166 00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:12,823 I'm like a bird up there. 167 00:08:13,573 --> 00:08:15,659 Did you tell him about my medal? 168 00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:17,160 Medal? What for? 169 00:08:17,244 --> 00:08:19,371 Who knows what they were saying. 170 00:08:23,875 --> 00:08:26,002 Thank you. Wow. 171 00:08:27,003 --> 00:08:29,756 - I have so many people to thank... - Private Asher, step forward! 172 00:08:30,048 --> 00:08:32,342 It's probably because a seal bit off his hand. 173 00:08:32,426 --> 00:08:35,345 The Army has taken to giving medals for being food. 174 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:36,555 Just then... 175 00:08:36,638 --> 00:08:38,974 Wow, look at him go, tied to that deck chair. 176 00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:42,185 It's so simple. My ankle monitor... 177 00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:44,813 Only goes off when I go out the front door. 178 00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:47,107 We need balloons. A party. 179 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:49,943 - We need to throw a party for... - Buster's stupid thing. 180 00:08:50,026 --> 00:08:51,945 Larry, go get some balloons. 181 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:55,407 And Michael found a way to get Rita to his house after all. 182 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,243 That's a great idea. Honour Buster. Tomorrow night. 183 00:08:58,326 --> 00:09:01,246 We'll get the whole family over to the penthouse, show him our support. 184 00:09:01,329 --> 00:09:04,374 Well, I suppose it's better than drinking alone. What time? 185 00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:08,211 Doesn't matter to me, I can't be there. I've got a date with Rita. 186 00:09:09,504 --> 00:09:12,007 Well Mom's probably right. I couldn't even stand up to a seal. 187 00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:15,635 - I don't really deserve a medal or a party. - No, you deserve this. 188 00:09:15,719 --> 00:09:17,929 Here. Take my business card. 189 00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:20,056 No, no, it's pronounced "uhnalrupist." 190 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:22,267 It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. 191 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:25,604 You see, Buster, it wasn't the seal that you couldn't stand up to. 192 00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:27,522 It was Lucille. 193 00:09:29,774 --> 00:09:31,193 I'm getting chills. 194 00:09:31,276 --> 00:09:33,570 If this was a lifetime-moment-of-truth movie, 195 00:09:33,653 --> 00:09:35,864 this would be our act break. 196 00:09:37,949 --> 00:09:39,242 But it wasn't. 197 00:09:39,326 --> 00:09:42,412 And later Lindsay was on the phone with Bob Loblaw. 198 00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:45,665 Tobias, but he's never fulfilled me sexually. 199 00:09:45,749 --> 00:09:48,668 Can you catalogue for me the various ways you've been promised 200 00:09:48,752 --> 00:09:51,630 to be fulfilled, whether or not said promise was made explicit? 201 00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:54,382 - You want me to be explicit? - Yes. 202 00:09:54,466 --> 00:09:56,551 But I will be needing to get off in four minutes. 203 00:09:56,635 --> 00:10:00,096 Wow. Let's see if I can't hit that target for you. 204 00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:04,351 The next day, on the way to pick up Rita, Michael stopped by his house 205 00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:07,270 to make sure there were no signs of his family. 206 00:10:07,354 --> 00:10:10,106 Only to discover there was nothing but. 207 00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,068 - What the hell is all this? - Gob brought all this stuff in. 208 00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:15,820 And, Mom, what is with all the family photos? 209 00:10:15,904 --> 00:10:18,698 Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself. 210 00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:21,826 - I'm surrogating your mother. - By wearing her sealskin coat? 211 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,829 Michael, I have tried on everything and nothing seems to be working. 212 00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:27,707 I thought the Donna Karan worked, you just didn't have the right shoes. 213 00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:29,918 Look, I've got to get rid of any evidence of my family, 214 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:33,672 and quickly, including you guys. Get out of here! 215 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,257 See? Now that's how you stand up to Mother. 216 00:10:36,341 --> 00:10:40,053 Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's sexual expectations, 217 00:10:40,136 --> 00:10:42,389 - Maeby tried to cancel her date. my whole family and I 218 00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:45,600 now have to go to my grandma's house 'cause my uncle lost his hand. 219 00:10:45,684 --> 00:10:48,812 Awesome! So you and I can party alone at your house. 220 00:10:48,895 --> 00:10:51,272 Maeby was too young to know what to do. 221 00:10:51,356 --> 00:10:55,568 Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive, 222 00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:59,155 she'd just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue. 223 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:01,825 - Rock the house. - All right. 224 00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,369 George Michael also didn't know what to do. 225 00:11:04,452 --> 00:11:07,789 If he pointed out that the two were cousins to drive them apart, 226 00:11:07,872 --> 00:11:11,334 he might be burning the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross. 227 00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:12,877 Hey, George Michael, I'm doing your cousin tonight. 228 00:11:12,961 --> 00:11:14,379 So are you. 229 00:11:14,796 --> 00:11:17,465 - What? - She's your cousin, too. 230 00:11:17,549 --> 00:11:20,844 Back at the penthouse, party preparations were underway. 231 00:11:20,927 --> 00:11:23,847 He's not wearing that to the party. I've got the exact same thing. 232 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,765 No, he was just analraping me. 233 00:11:25,849 --> 00:11:28,893 But then Michael barged in and kicked us out so he could shred all the evidence. 234 00:11:28,977 --> 00:11:32,147 - Shred the evidence? - Thought he didn't want us to do that. 235 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:35,692 He didn't want us to get into trouble. He's taking the heat. 236 00:11:35,817 --> 00:11:39,279 He's doing that for us? And on the night of his date with Rita. 237 00:11:39,362 --> 00:11:41,406 Who he didn't wanna bring over here. 238 00:11:41,489 --> 00:11:45,285 Probably because, let's face it, you people haven't been great with the others. 239 00:11:45,368 --> 00:11:48,413 Well, in our defence, Mom, we're not exactly dog people. 240 00:11:48,496 --> 00:11:51,291 - We have got to start being nicer. - I'm starting right now. 241 00:11:51,374 --> 00:11:54,752 - Buster, the party's not for you any more. - Oh, okay. 242 00:11:54,836 --> 00:11:56,838 It's a "Welcome, Rita" party. 243 00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:59,466 I know where she works. We can pick her up and surprise her. 244 00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:03,052 You're so right. This is better than a party for me. 245 00:12:03,511 --> 00:12:05,513 Oh, come on. Grow a pair. 246 00:12:07,765 --> 00:12:10,310 You know, we need some weather balloons for this party, 247 00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:14,647 and maybe a tank of hydrogen. You know, really float those suckers. 248 00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:18,151 Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the evidence wherever he could, 249 00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:21,613 - when he heard from his brother. - Hey, friend, Gob here. 250 00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:24,657 We really want you at the party. We're really nice now. 251 00:12:24,741 --> 00:12:27,285 And, God, we love you. 252 00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:29,746 Oh, damn it. 253 00:12:30,038 --> 00:12:34,417 And the family picked up Rita in the only vehicle big enough to hold them all. 254 00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:36,836 - Hey. Excuse me, Rita. - I'm Rita. 255 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,965 We're here to pick you up for Michael. You can just go in the cabin. 256 00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:48,723 - Michael? - He's not here. 257 00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:51,976 - We're his family. - His family? 258 00:12:52,268 --> 00:12:53,811 We're nice. 259 00:12:53,895 --> 00:12:57,982 - I'm sorry. I have to leave. - Oh, no, you can't leave. Drive, Lindsay. 260 00:12:58,066 --> 00:12:59,609 Bye! 261 00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:02,278 - We're doing this for Michael. - Stop her, Buster. 262 00:13:02,362 --> 00:13:03,988 - Well, what am I supposed to do? - Stop her! 263 00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:05,823 - Stop yelling at me! - I'm leaving. 264 00:13:05,907 --> 00:13:09,744 And that's when Buster noticed the seal on Rita's backpack. 265 00:13:16,459 --> 00:13:19,879 Hey, talk about cathartic. Now that's an act break. 266 00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:27,679 Buster had overcome his fear of seals. 267 00:13:27,762 --> 00:13:31,516 Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend. 268 00:13:31,599 --> 00:13:35,353 - What the hell did you do? - You're curious, Mom? I can show you. 269 00:13:35,436 --> 00:13:39,107 You made a mistake. You're human, except for the hand. 270 00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:42,819 It's okay. She's alive and soft. Soft and alive. 271 00:13:42,902 --> 00:13:46,322 All right, let's not add that to the charges. What do we do? 272 00:13:46,406 --> 00:13:47,865 She's going to tell Michael. 273 00:13:47,949 --> 00:13:50,827 And he won't hear the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating. 274 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,037 Wait. Maybe we can give her a Forget-Me-Now. 275 00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,999 Here you go, hot dog. Take the pill. 276 00:13:56,082 --> 00:13:57,417 What's a Forget-Me-Now? 277 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,627 They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. 278 00:13:59,711 --> 00:14:02,380 So, if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give them one of these, 279 00:14:02,463 --> 00:14:05,550 and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit. 280 00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,552 Like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether. 281 00:14:07,635 --> 00:14:09,679 Gob, this is flunitrazepam. 282 00:14:09,762 --> 00:14:12,640 - It's a roofie. - Those are illegal. 283 00:14:12,724 --> 00:14:16,436 Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these. 284 00:14:18,521 --> 00:14:20,940 Lindsay, help me. Three. 285 00:14:24,152 --> 00:14:28,573 Back at the house, Michael finished his work, and now late, rushed to pick up Rita. 286 00:14:28,656 --> 00:14:32,827 Moments later, Maeby prepared to tell Steve she wasn't ready for romance. 287 00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,746 Well, this sends a mixed message. 288 00:14:34,829 --> 00:14:38,499 Just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin. 289 00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:40,251 You did all this for me? 290 00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:44,422 Yes. Well, I'm gonna go get sexy. 291 00:14:47,717 --> 00:14:49,719 And Michael missed Rita. 292 00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:54,724 Damn it. Strike two. 293 00:14:55,308 --> 00:14:58,978 Take it down. We don't want anything in this house that says "Rita." 294 00:14:59,061 --> 00:15:03,024 Hi, it's Michael. I will be coming to the party because 295 00:15:03,566 --> 00:15:05,234 I love you, too. 296 00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:07,570 Okay, we need a new banner. 297 00:15:08,404 --> 00:15:10,948 And that's when Michael found Rita. 298 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:14,827 Why am I on a bus bench, Michael? 299 00:15:14,911 --> 00:15:16,412 I get it, because I'm late. I'm sorry, 300 00:15:16,496 --> 00:15:19,290 but the rest of the night's gonna be all about you, I promise. 301 00:15:19,373 --> 00:15:20,917 Great, great. 302 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,836 I am gonna have to make one quick stop. Maybe you can just wait in the car? 303 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,838 It's just gonna be two seconds, I promise. 304 00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:29,425 And so Michael raced up to pay his quick respects to Buster. 305 00:15:29,509 --> 00:15:31,052 There he is, my favourite son. 306 00:15:31,135 --> 00:15:34,263 - Everybody's favourite son! - Mr. Wonderful! 307 00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,725 I had a great time, I wish I could have stayed longer. 308 00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:40,770 This is a great party, huh? Tell Buster I stopped by, 309 00:15:40,853 --> 00:15:42,647 - and please, I do have to leave. - No, no, no. 310 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,149 The party's not for Buster any more. 311 00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:47,610 - No, Michael, it's for you. - Me? 312 00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:49,654 Take a look at banner, Michael. 313 00:15:51,113 --> 00:15:53,741 - You guys did all of this for me? - Yeah. 314 00:15:53,824 --> 00:15:56,035 - "Family love..." - Michael? 315 00:15:56,369 --> 00:15:58,120 Everyone froze. 316 00:15:58,204 --> 00:16:01,165 Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family. 317 00:16:01,249 --> 00:16:03,251 His family feared they'd been caught 318 00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:07,046 by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench. 319 00:16:08,214 --> 00:16:09,465 It was awkward. 320 00:16:09,548 --> 00:16:11,050 Who's this? 321 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,053 Mother, Mother, this is from the Army! 322 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:16,013 I have to report for duty tomorrow. 323 00:16:16,097 --> 00:16:18,432 It says by accepting this medal, I was reenlisting. 324 00:16:18,516 --> 00:16:19,767 I didn't hear them say that. 325 00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:22,520 Perhaps if the Sergeant had spoken more slowly, she would have. 326 00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:23,688 in acceptance of this medal, 327 00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:25,231 you proudly waive all rights to private citizenship 328 00:16:25,314 --> 00:16:28,359 and hereby reenlist with the Armed Services of the United States of America. 329 00:16:28,442 --> 00:16:32,905 - If you agree with this, say thank you. - Thank you. 330 00:16:33,072 --> 00:16:34,949 What am I gonna do? I can't go back there. 331 00:16:35,032 --> 00:16:37,702 - I've never been... - Who are these people? 332 00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:39,495 This is my family. 333 00:16:39,578 --> 00:16:41,914 No. No, I don't like these people. 334 00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:45,001 Me, you mean. She means me, because I lied 335 00:16:45,167 --> 00:16:48,838 about having a family because I was embarrassed by them. 336 00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:51,090 And I'm ashamed of that. 337 00:16:51,549 --> 00:16:53,175 I have to leave. 338 00:16:56,804 --> 00:16:58,139 Strike three. 339 00:16:58,222 --> 00:17:00,808 You said you didn't have a family? 340 00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:04,770 - Everybody's favourite son. - Mr. Terrible. 341 00:17:06,439 --> 00:17:08,566 And her. Too good for us? 342 00:17:09,025 --> 00:17:11,360 Buster, you should have finished the job. 343 00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:14,572 - Job? What job? - Did I say "job"? I meant "Gob." 344 00:17:15,406 --> 00:17:18,034 Buster's the one that hit her, I just gave her the roofie. 345 00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:19,910 - Roofie? - Forget-Me-Now. 346 00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:22,121 You beat and drugged Rita? 347 00:17:24,498 --> 00:17:25,916 Take this and love us again. 348 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,293 - No, no, no. - Just take it! 349 00:17:27,376 --> 00:17:28,502 No, Gob. 350 00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:30,713 I'm leaving, too. 351 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,719 Well, no good deed goes unpunished. 352 00:17:37,053 --> 00:17:38,304 Look, it's not all bad. 353 00:17:38,387 --> 00:17:42,057 I got Buster feeling better about his medal. 354 00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:45,436 Not any more. I'm getting rid of this thing. 355 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:49,023 It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. 356 00:17:49,106 --> 00:17:52,943 Buster went to get rid of the medal he finally felt he deserved. 357 00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:56,030 But it was exactly when George, Sr was making his escape. 358 00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:57,990 Farewell to you all! 359 00:18:00,743 --> 00:18:04,497 It turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium. 360 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,052 And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt. 361 00:18:18,135 --> 00:18:21,180 - What have you guys been doing? - I gave him a roofie. 362 00:18:21,263 --> 00:18:24,725 - A girl's gotta grow up some time. - He's your cousin. 363 00:18:24,809 --> 00:18:27,061 - My cousin? - I should have told you that. 364 00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:30,439 Now you've drugged him and had your way with him. 365 00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:32,066 Like, how is that even possible? 366 00:18:32,149 --> 00:18:33,817 No, George Michael, we didn't do anything. 367 00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,402 I just wanted him to think we did. 368 00:18:35,486 --> 00:18:38,864 Don't you see? I drugged him not to go all the way with him. 369 00:18:38,948 --> 00:18:42,618 Well, I think even the anti-drug people are gonna be okay with that. 370 00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:46,205 - Well, let's get his pants back on. - You took his pants off? 371 00:18:47,122 --> 00:18:51,210 And Michael tried to salvage the remains of the files from the car fire. 372 00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:52,962 - You call the attorney yet? - Yeah, I sure did, 373 00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:56,465 but he's not taking our calls because apparently the retainer's all used up. 374 00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:58,634 He took my call. He's very good. 375 00:18:58,717 --> 00:19:00,594 Yeah, that's how the retainer got eaten up, okay? 376 00:19:00,678 --> 00:19:03,013 The secretary took it all down here in a transcript. 377 00:19:04,431 --> 00:19:06,475 - She's very good, too. - I'm not paying for this. 378 00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:08,852 - Well, what am I supposed to do? - I don't know, Lindsay. 379 00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:12,982 Thing you say on Page 7 looks like it could be worth some money. 380 00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,779 - Speaking to me yet? - It's only been an hour. 381 00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:22,741 Here's what I don't understand. What were you guys doing with Rita in the first place? 382 00:19:22,825 --> 00:19:25,077 We just wanted to do something nice for you, Michael, 383 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,246 'cause you do so much for us. 384 00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:28,998 Guess we screwed it up. 385 00:19:29,081 --> 00:19:32,835 Well, I screwed it up because I was trying to impress her. 386 00:19:32,918 --> 00:19:35,337 Let's face it, she's probably too good for me. 387 00:19:35,421 --> 00:19:38,882 No, what you need to do is go to her and ask for another chance. 388 00:19:38,966 --> 00:19:41,593 She'd be lucky to have you, Michael. 389 00:19:43,595 --> 00:19:46,765 Thanks, Gob. Sometimes you do surprise me. 390 00:19:46,849 --> 00:19:49,393 I've got one more surprise for you. 391 00:19:53,814 --> 00:19:58,527 And Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets. 392 00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:00,279 I want to tell you everything. 393 00:20:00,362 --> 00:20:02,656 If you're willing to listen. 394 00:20:02,948 --> 00:20:04,992 I'm a very good listener. 395 00:20:05,868 --> 00:20:07,077 Great. 396 00:20:07,328 --> 00:20:08,954 I'll start with the misdemeanours, 397 00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:12,249 and then we're gonna push right on through to the lighter treasons. 398 00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:14,752 So, 1983... 399 00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:25,804 Lindsay tries to work off her debt with Bob Loblaw. 400 00:20:25,888 --> 00:20:27,848 I'm willing to debase myself. 401 00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:30,934 Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00. 402 00:20:31,018 --> 00:20:32,770 There's no way to misinterpret that. 403 00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:34,396 Except the one. 404 00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:41,904 And a traumatised Steve Holt needs a father. 405 00:20:41,987 --> 00:20:44,073 I've made a huge mistake. 406 00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:49,244 I know the feeling. 407 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:50,996 I had you. 408 00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:56,335 I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more. 409 00:20:56,919 --> 00:20:59,171 I won't forget this, Dad. 410 00:21:07,054 --> 00:21:08,263 I will. 411 00:21:13,143 --> 00:21:14,394 I will. 412 00:21:54,851 --> 00:21:55,894 English