1 00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:15,431 All right, just a few more feet and... 2 00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:18,832 Here we are, gentlemen, the Gates of Elzebub. 3 00:00:19,304 --> 00:00:20,498 Good Lord. Oh. 4 00:00:20,673 --> 00:00:23,904 Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about. 5 00:00:24,076 --> 00:00:25,100 Stay frosty. 6 00:00:25,277 --> 00:00:29,805 There's a horde of armed goblins on that gate guarding the Sword of Azeroth. 7 00:00:29,982 --> 00:00:33,076 Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands. 8 00:00:33,252 --> 00:00:34,344 Lock and load. 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,681 Raj, blow the gates. 10 00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:38,083 Blowing the gates. 11 00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:42,784 Control, shift, B. 12 00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,727 Oh, my God, so many goblins. 13 00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:49,959 Don't just stand there. Slash and move. 14 00:00:50,135 --> 00:00:51,295 Stay in formation. 15 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:55,065 - Leonard, you got one on your tail. - That's all right, my tail's prehensile. 16 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,400 I got him, Leonard. 17 00:00:56,575 --> 00:01:00,272 Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood. 18 00:01:00,446 --> 00:01:02,277 Raj, it's a trap. They're flanking us. 19 00:01:02,448 --> 00:01:04,006 Oh, he's got me. 20 00:01:04,183 --> 00:01:06,674 Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. 21 00:01:07,086 --> 00:01:08,610 Sheldon. Sheldon. 22 00:01:08,787 --> 00:01:12,848 I've got the Sword of Azeroth. 23 00:01:13,025 --> 00:01:16,085 - Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj. - There is no more Sheldon. 24 00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:18,456 I am the sword master. 25 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:21,064 - Leonard, look out. - Damn it, man, we're dying here. 26 00:01:21,233 --> 00:01:22,632 Goodbye, peasants. 27 00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,128 The bastard teleported. 28 00:01:26,972 --> 00:01:30,237 He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay. 29 00:01:30,743 --> 00:01:33,268 You betrayed us for money? Who are you? 30 00:01:33,445 --> 00:01:34,707 I'm a rogue knight elf. 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,371 Don't you people read character descriptions? 32 00:01:37,549 --> 00:01:40,017 Wait, wait, wait. Somebody just clicked "Buy It Now. " 33 00:01:40,185 --> 00:01:43,416 I am the sword master. 34 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:51,294 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 35 00:02:08,347 --> 00:02:09,746 Whoo! I'm all sweaty. 36 00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:12,008 Wanna log on to Second Life and go swimming? 37 00:02:12,184 --> 00:02:14,482 I just built a virtual pool. 38 00:02:14,787 --> 00:02:18,052 No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now. 39 00:02:22,161 --> 00:02:24,322 Sounds like your neighbor's home. 40 00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:27,255 Excuse me. 41 00:02:27,432 --> 00:02:30,833 Don't forget the mail you took so you'd have an excuse to talk to her. 42 00:02:31,003 --> 00:02:33,335 Oh, right, right, right. 43 00:02:33,505 --> 00:02:36,941 Stealing snail mail, very old school. I like it. 44 00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:41,611 Penny, the mailman did it again. He- Oh, sorry. 45 00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:43,611 Um, no, hi, Leonard. This is Doug. 46 00:02:43,782 --> 00:02:46,979 - Doug, this is my neighbor, Leonard. - What's up, bro? 47 00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:50,619 Not much. 48 00:02:52,157 --> 00:02:53,681 Bro. Heh. 49 00:02:54,226 --> 00:02:55,454 Is everything okay? 50 00:02:55,627 --> 00:02:57,925 Yeah, no. I just- I got your mail again, here. 51 00:02:58,096 --> 00:03:00,621 Oh, thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman. 52 00:03:00,799 --> 00:03:03,029 Oh, no, that's probably not such a good idea. 53 00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:09,039 Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap, so... 54 00:03:09,842 --> 00:03:11,833 Okay. Well, thank you again. 55 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,001 No problem. Bye. 56 00:03:14,379 --> 00:03:17,439 Oh, and bye, bro. Heh. 57 00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,953 Penny for your thoughts. 58 00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,993 - What's the matter? - No, I'm fine. 59 00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:33,996 Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine. 60 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:38,467 Kissing? What kind of kissing? Cheeks, lips, chase, French? 61 00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:42,163 What is wrong with you? 62 00:03:43,075 --> 00:03:44,804 I'm a romantic. 63 00:03:46,612 --> 00:03:48,773 Don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation... 64 00:03:48,947 --> 00:03:50,847 is devolving into pointless jealousy. 65 00:03:51,016 --> 00:03:53,883 Look, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her. 66 00:03:54,052 --> 00:03:56,111 Didn't like the look of the guy she was with. 67 00:03:56,288 --> 00:03:58,085 Because he looks better than you? 68 00:03:59,258 --> 00:04:00,782 Yeah. 69 00:04:01,526 --> 00:04:03,323 He was kind of dreamy. 70 00:04:03,962 --> 00:04:06,055 At least now you can retrieve the black box... 71 00:04:06,231 --> 00:04:09,689 from the smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her... 72 00:04:09,868 --> 00:04:13,736 and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again. 73 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:19,101 I disagree. Love is not a sprint. It's a marathon. 74 00:04:19,278 --> 00:04:24,215 A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms... 75 00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:27,352 or hits you with the pepper spray. 76 00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:29,215 No, I'm done with Penny. 77 00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:32,756 I'm gonna be more realistic and go after someone my own speed. 78 00:04:32,925 --> 00:04:34,984 - Like who? - I don't know. 79 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,184 Olivia Geiger? 80 00:04:36,361 --> 00:04:40,229 The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye? 81 00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:44,301 - Yeah. - Well, I don't think you have a shot there. 82 00:04:45,804 --> 00:04:48,932 I have noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs. 83 00:04:49,107 --> 00:04:52,167 Now, given that winter is coming, one can assume she's signaling... 84 00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:53,538 sexual availability. 85 00:04:54,446 --> 00:04:56,437 I don't know. You guys work in the same lab. 86 00:04:56,815 --> 00:04:58,908 - So? - There are pitfalls. 87 00:04:59,084 --> 00:05:00,574 Trust me, I know. 88 00:05:00,752 --> 00:05:03,880 When it comes to sexual-harassment law... 89 00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:07,025 I'm a bit of a self-taught expert. 90 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,893 Howard, if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out, it would just be for dinner. 91 00:05:12,064 --> 00:05:15,898 I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me. 92 00:05:16,068 --> 00:05:18,332 Oh, then you're probably okay. 93 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,008 - Hello, Leslie. - Hi, Leonard. 94 00:05:24,176 --> 00:05:26,269 - I'd like to propose an experiment- - Goggles. 95 00:05:26,445 --> 00:05:27,742 Right. 96 00:05:29,848 --> 00:05:32,874 - I would like to propose an experiment. - Hang on. 97 00:05:33,051 --> 00:05:36,418 I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500-kilowatt oxygen-iodine laser... 98 00:05:36,588 --> 00:05:38,715 to heat up my cup of noodles. 99 00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:42,623 I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone. 100 00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:52,598 Anyway, I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration... 101 00:05:52,771 --> 00:05:54,636 with a neurochemical overlay. 102 00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:58,640 Wait, are you asking me out? 103 00:05:59,544 --> 00:06:01,978 I was going to characterize it as the modification... 104 00:06:02,147 --> 00:06:06,277 of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component. 105 00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:10,285 But we don't need to quibble over terminology. 106 00:06:10,455 --> 00:06:12,355 What sort of experiment would you propose? 107 00:06:12,524 --> 00:06:15,049 There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. 108 00:06:15,227 --> 00:06:18,458 I pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie. 109 00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:20,962 Probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents... 110 00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:23,226 of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock. 111 00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:24,893 Interesting. 112 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:27,630 And would you agree the primary way we would evaluate... 113 00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:31,674 the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction... 114 00:06:31,843 --> 00:06:35,279 - ... during the good-night kiss? - Heart rate, pheromones, etcetera, yes. 115 00:06:35,914 --> 00:06:37,905 Why don't we stipulate the date goes well... 116 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:39,880 and move to the key variable? 117 00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:41,747 - You mean kiss you now? - Yes. 118 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,980 - Define the parameters of the kiss. - Closed mouth, but romantic. 119 00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:46,920 - Mint? - Thank you. 120 00:06:54,066 --> 00:06:57,900 - Shall I count down from three? - No, I think it needs to be spontaneous. 121 00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:07,274 - What do you think? - you proposed the experiment. 122 00:07:07,446 --> 00:07:09,846 I think you should present your findings first. 123 00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:11,573 Fair enough. 124 00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:16,744 On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. 125 00:07:18,023 --> 00:07:20,253 On the other hand, no arousal. 126 00:07:21,393 --> 00:07:22,883 - None? - None. 127 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:25,090 Ah. 128 00:07:26,465 --> 00:07:28,558 Well, thank you for your time. 129 00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:30,428 - Thank you. - Hmm. 130 00:07:34,573 --> 00:07:36,040 None at all? 131 00:07:40,178 --> 00:07:46,139 Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't... 132 00:07:47,819 --> 00:07:49,980 would you want me to tell you? 133 00:07:51,389 --> 00:07:52,913 That depends. 134 00:07:53,091 --> 00:07:58,757 When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it? 135 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:04,058 Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side. 136 00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:06,604 Okay. Uh, let me ask you this. 137 00:08:07,005 --> 00:08:08,996 When I learn that I'm a robot... 138 00:08:09,174 --> 00:08:12,905 would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? 139 00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:17,338 You might be bound by them right now. 140 00:08:20,118 --> 00:08:21,142 That's true. 141 00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:25,756 - Have you ever harmed a human being? - Of course not. 142 00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:29,121 Have you ever harmed yourself, except in cases where a human being... 143 00:08:29,294 --> 00:08:30,955 would have been endangered? 144 00:08:31,129 --> 00:08:33,620 - Well, no. - I smell robot. 145 00:08:37,335 --> 00:08:41,237 - Hey, what's going on? - Internet's been down for half an hour. 146 00:08:43,542 --> 00:08:45,100 Also, Sheldon may be a robot. 147 00:08:47,179 --> 00:08:49,739 So how did it go with Leslie? 148 00:08:49,915 --> 00:08:54,249 Oh, we tried kissing, but the Earth didn't move. 149 00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:58,856 I mean, any more than the 383 miles that it was gonna move anyway. 150 00:09:00,692 --> 00:09:02,785 Oh, I've seen that look before. 151 00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:06,328 This is just gonna be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs... 152 00:09:06,498 --> 00:09:09,956 and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. 153 00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,532 I don't know if I can take it. 154 00:09:14,439 --> 00:09:16,339 You could power down. 155 00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:22,409 Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution. 156 00:09:23,114 --> 00:09:26,242 I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women... 157 00:09:26,418 --> 00:09:28,215 and Leonard could have his pick. 158 00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:40,029 Remember the Latin hips. 159 00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:43,265 Shoulders stay still and we sway. 160 00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:50,804 One, two, three. 161 00:09:51,476 --> 00:09:53,569 Five, six, seven. 162 00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:57,171 I think Mrs. Tishman's got her eye on you. 163 00:09:57,616 --> 00:09:59,948 I've been there. You're in for a treat. 164 00:10:16,301 --> 00:10:17,325 Oh, good Lord. 165 00:10:28,113 --> 00:10:30,104 God, that's a good song. 166 00:10:30,682 --> 00:10:33,845 If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide. 167 00:10:34,619 --> 00:10:38,180 Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you. 168 00:10:38,356 --> 00:10:41,348 I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account. 169 00:10:41,526 --> 00:10:43,517 There's a feline geneticist in San Diego... 170 00:10:43,695 --> 00:10:46,721 who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos. 171 00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:48,798 - Listen- - I've been thinking about names. 172 00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:53,461 I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzy Boots. 173 00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:56,736 Do you think you can satisfy your need for a relationship... 174 00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:59,138 with a genetically-altered cat? 175 00:10:59,311 --> 00:11:03,145 Maybe, if it's a cute little cuddly cat. 176 00:11:03,315 --> 00:11:05,840 Oh, come on, Leonard... 177 00:11:07,519 --> 00:11:09,316 This is obviously about Penny. 178 00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:12,988 It doesn't matter. 179 00:11:13,158 --> 00:11:16,059 The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me. 180 00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:18,593 Okay, look. Ahem. 181 00:11:19,297 --> 00:11:22,789 You have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny... 182 00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:26,630 as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of a black hole... 183 00:11:26,805 --> 00:11:30,206 is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. 184 00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:37,573 Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you... 185 00:11:37,749 --> 00:11:39,774 that she did not reject you. 186 00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:41,878 You did not ask her out. 187 00:11:43,455 --> 00:11:44,854 You're right. 188 00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:47,087 I didn't ask her. I should ask her out. 189 00:11:47,258 --> 00:11:49,453 No, no, no. That was not my point. 190 00:11:50,028 --> 00:11:52,861 My point was, don't buy a cat. 191 00:11:53,031 --> 00:11:54,999 No, but you're right. 192 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,361 I should march over there and ask her out. 193 00:11:57,902 --> 00:12:00,928 Oh, goody, we're getting a cat. 194 00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:04,842 Oh, yeah- No. 195 00:12:08,079 --> 00:12:10,047 - Oh, hey, Leonard. - Good afternoon, Penny. 196 00:12:10,215 --> 00:12:12,581 So, hi, hey. Uh... 197 00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:15,709 I was wondering if you had plans for dinner. 198 00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:17,252 Uh, you mean, dinner tonight? 199 00:12:18,757 --> 00:12:21,317 There is an inherent ambiguity in the word "dinner. " 200 00:12:21,493 --> 00:12:24,360 Technically, it refers to the largest meal of the day. 201 00:12:24,529 --> 00:12:27,054 So to clarify here, by dinner, I mean supper. 202 00:12:27,432 --> 00:12:29,229 - Supper? - Or dinner, you know. 203 00:12:30,535 --> 00:12:33,129 I was thinking 6:30 if you can go, or a different time. 204 00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:34,464 Uh, 6:30 is great. 205 00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:36,106 Really? 206 00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:40,237 - Great. - Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys. 207 00:12:40,412 --> 00:12:41,436 Us guys? 208 00:12:41,613 --> 00:12:44,480 Oh, you know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj. Who all is coming? 209 00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:46,949 They... 210 00:12:47,786 --> 00:12:50,084 might all be there. 211 00:12:51,222 --> 00:12:53,918 Or a subset of them might be there. 212 00:12:54,092 --> 00:12:56,356 Algebraically speaking, there are too many unknowns. 213 00:12:56,528 --> 00:12:58,519 For example, Sheldon had Quizno's for lunch. 214 00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:01,256 Sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't. 215 00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:04,732 It's no fault of Quizno's. They have a varied menu. 216 00:13:06,204 --> 00:13:07,933 Okay, whatever, it sounds like fun. 217 00:13:08,673 --> 00:13:10,038 Great. 218 00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:11,732 - Did we say a time? - Six-thirty. 219 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:12,934 Still good? 220 00:13:13,111 --> 00:13:14,738 - It's fine. - It's not carved in stone. 221 00:13:14,913 --> 00:13:16,175 No. Six-thirty is great. 222 00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:18,440 I'll get my chisel. Heh-heh. 223 00:13:19,484 --> 00:13:21,145 Why? 224 00:13:23,121 --> 00:13:27,217 To carve the- Okay, I'll see you at 6:30. 225 00:13:37,869 --> 00:13:39,700 How do I look? 226 00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:45,973 Could you be more specific? 227 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:50,079 Can you tell I'm perspiring a little? 228 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:55,352 No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely. 229 00:13:57,589 --> 00:13:59,386 - What time is your date? - Six-thirty. 230 00:13:59,591 --> 00:14:01,957 Perfect, that gives you two hours and 15 minutes... 231 00:14:02,126 --> 00:14:05,323 for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate. 232 00:14:06,297 --> 00:14:09,664 - Is it too much? - Not if you're a rugby team. 233 00:14:11,336 --> 00:14:14,271 By the way, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself... 234 00:14:14,439 --> 00:14:16,669 with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizno's. 235 00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:18,234 Why would I join you? 236 00:14:19,244 --> 00:14:20,734 No reason. 237 00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:25,581 Oh, you know what? Maybe this isn't such a good idea. 238 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,150 Oh, no, well, now, there's always the possibility... 239 00:14:28,319 --> 00:14:30,514 that alcohol and poor judgment on her part... 240 00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:33,054 might lead to a nice romantic evening. 241 00:14:34,592 --> 00:14:37,857 You're right. Alcohol, poor judgment. It could go well. 242 00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:41,523 Of course, there's the other possibility that this day kicks off... 243 00:14:41,699 --> 00:14:44,759 an unpleasant six months of you passing awkwardly in the hall... 244 00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:47,803 until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code. 245 00:14:48,239 --> 00:14:51,265 You could have stopped at, "It could go well. " 246 00:14:51,876 --> 00:14:53,901 If I could have, I would have. 247 00:14:54,312 --> 00:14:56,906 I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason... 248 00:14:57,081 --> 00:14:59,879 we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. 249 00:15:00,051 --> 00:15:04,681 Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common. 250 00:15:04,856 --> 00:15:07,654 "You love pottery? I love pottery. " 251 00:15:08,092 --> 00:15:10,720 You know, there's a pause. We both know what's happening. 252 00:15:10,895 --> 00:15:12,863 We kiss. It's a little tentative at first. 253 00:15:13,031 --> 00:15:16,023 But I realize, she's kissing me back, she's biting my lower lip. 254 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,327 She wants me. This thing is going the distance. 255 00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:20,494 We're gonna have sex. Oh, God, oh, my God. 256 00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:25,835 Is the sex starting now? 257 00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:27,909 I'm having a panic attack. 258 00:15:28,079 --> 00:15:31,412 Oh, okay. Well, then, calm down. 259 00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,448 If I could, I wouldn't be having an attack. 260 00:15:33,618 --> 00:15:36,018 - That's why they call it a panic attack. - All right. 261 00:15:36,187 --> 00:15:37,745 Would you just sit down? 262 00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:40,482 - Yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes. - Why? 263 00:15:40,658 --> 00:15:41,852 - Well, just do it. - Okay. 264 00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:45,018 Now, try to increase your alpha-wave activity. 265 00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:47,960 - What? - It's a biofeedback technique. 266 00:15:48,132 --> 00:15:50,259 It's relaxation through brainwave manipulation. 267 00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:52,596 I read it in Journal of American Neuroscience. 268 00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:55,466 It was sparsely sourced, but I think the science is valid. 269 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,200 I probably have it here somewhere. 270 00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:00,503 Who am I kidding? I can't go through with this. 271 00:16:00,678 --> 00:16:02,407 - You need to call her and cancel. - Me? 272 00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:04,104 - Yes. - What should I tell her? 273 00:16:04,282 --> 00:16:06,682 - I don't know. Tell her I'm sick. - Okay. 274 00:16:06,851 --> 00:16:09,376 Not the kind that would make her wanna take care of me. 275 00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:13,786 But nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable if I wanna try this again. 276 00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:16,449 Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. 277 00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:23,692 I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy... 278 00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,699 and haven't quite bounced back. 279 00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:28,270 - Give me the phone. - I thought you wanted to cancel. 280 00:16:28,439 --> 00:16:31,237 I can't. If I don't show up, she'll still be expecting you. 281 00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:33,808 Why would she be expecting me? 282 00:16:34,812 --> 00:16:38,839 Stop asking me all these questions. I need to take another shower. 283 00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:44,748 - Are the rest of the guys meeting us here? - Oh, yeah. 284 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,253 No. 285 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,849 Turns out that Raj and Howard had to work... 286 00:16:49,027 --> 00:16:54,488 and Sheldon had a colonoscopy, and he hasn't quite bounced back yet. 287 00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:57,730 Ooh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy. 288 00:16:57,902 --> 00:17:01,998 You're kidding. Well, then, that's something we have in common. 289 00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:04,235 How? 290 00:17:04,409 --> 00:17:10,905 We both have people in our lives who wanna nip intestinal polyps in the bud. 291 00:17:16,788 --> 00:17:18,881 So, what's new in the world of physics? 292 00:17:19,991 --> 00:17:21,549 Nothing. 293 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:23,950 Really? Nothing? 294 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:29,623 Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s... 295 00:17:29,801 --> 00:17:31,530 and you can't prove string theory. 296 00:17:31,703 --> 00:17:37,141 At best you can say, "Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency. " 297 00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:41,939 Ah. Well, I'm sure things will pick up. 298 00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:48,041 What's new at the Cheesecake Factory? 299 00:17:48,219 --> 00:17:50,653 Oh, uh, not much. 300 00:17:50,822 --> 00:17:55,225 Oh, we do have a chocolate key lime that's moving pretty well. 301 00:17:55,393 --> 00:17:56,917 Good. 302 00:17:57,428 --> 00:17:58,827 Good. 303 00:18:01,766 --> 00:18:05,930 Uh, what about your, uh, hallway friend? 304 00:18:06,104 --> 00:18:10,507 Doug? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I mean, you know, he's nice and funny, but- 305 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,939 - Can I get you started with some drinks? - No. Bzzz. 306 00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:16,339 - You were saying, "But... "? - I'd like a drink. 307 00:18:16,514 --> 00:18:19,779 Just say the "but" thing about Doug, and then I'll get her back. 308 00:18:20,384 --> 00:18:23,217 Okay, well, it- I don't know. It's just me. 309 00:18:23,387 --> 00:18:25,548 I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt. 310 00:18:25,723 --> 00:18:28,521 And this thing with Doug would just be rebound sex. 311 00:18:29,093 --> 00:18:33,291 Ugh. Don't get me started on rebound sex. 312 00:18:33,664 --> 00:18:35,131 It's just- It's my pattern. 313 00:18:35,299 --> 00:18:37,494 I break up, then I find some cute guy... 314 00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:41,399 and then it's just 36 meaningless hours of... 315 00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:42,800 You know. 316 00:18:44,842 --> 00:18:46,275 I'm not sure that I do. Um... 317 00:18:47,612 --> 00:18:52,447 Is that one 36-hour experience or is that 36 hours spread out over... 318 00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:56,075 say, one glorious summer? 319 00:18:56,254 --> 00:18:57,721 No. It's usually over a weekend. 320 00:18:57,889 --> 00:19:00,653 And trust me, you do not feel good after it. 321 00:19:01,025 --> 00:19:03,255 Well, chafing, right? 322 00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:05,486 Emotionally. 323 00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:08,564 Of course, yeah. Emotional chafing. 324 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,801 Hey, do you wanna see something cool? 325 00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:23,408 I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it. 326 00:19:23,681 --> 00:19:26,309 - How? - Physics. 327 00:19:31,589 --> 00:19:33,819 Wow, centrifugal force. 328 00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:37,290 Actually, it's centripetal force, which is an inward force... 329 00:19:37,461 --> 00:19:40,760 generated by the glass acting on the olive. Ooh. 330 00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:42,861 Excuse me. 331 00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:46,162 Now, if you were biting on the olive... 332 00:19:46,337 --> 00:19:49,864 you'd be on a non-inertial reference frame and would- 333 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:54,472 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. 334 00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:56,670 Did you spill ketchup? 335 00:19:56,848 --> 00:19:59,180 - No. - I'm not okay. 336 00:20:02,486 --> 00:20:04,351 You don't wanna go to the emergency room? 337 00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:05,546 No, no. I'm okay. 338 00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:07,122 It's stopped bleeding. 339 00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:10,260 Anyway, you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion? 340 00:20:10,428 --> 00:20:13,693 Yes, but I get carsick too, so... 341 00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:14,889 Okay. 342 00:20:15,066 --> 00:20:16,761 Sorry about your car, by the way. 343 00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:20,563 Oh, no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window. 344 00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:23,072 The poor guy on the bike. 345 00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:26,834 I had a nice time. 346 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,938 Yeah, me too. 347 00:20:30,014 --> 00:20:31,311 Well, um, good night. 348 00:20:32,049 --> 00:20:33,380 Good night. 349 00:20:34,352 --> 00:20:35,979 - Leonard. - Yeah? 350 00:20:36,754 --> 00:20:39,018 Was this supposed to be a date? 351 00:20:39,824 --> 00:20:41,485 This? 352 00:20:42,093 --> 00:20:44,084 No. 353 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:46,353 No, of course not. 354 00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:49,761 This was just you and me hanging out with guys who didn't show up... 355 00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:53,062 because of work and a colonoscopy. 356 00:20:54,372 --> 00:20:55,862 Okay. I was just checking. 357 00:20:57,074 --> 00:21:01,477 When I take a girl on a date, and I do, heh... 358 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,814 she knows she's been dated. 359 00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:08,509 Capital D. Heh. 360 00:21:08,953 --> 00:21:13,481 Bold face, underlined, like, dated. 361 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,291 I think I might have a concussion. I'm gonna go lay down. 362 00:21:17,461 --> 00:21:18,894 Good night. 363 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:25,833 - So how was your date? - Awesome. Heh. 364 00:21:30,041 --> 00:21:33,067 Score one for liquor and poor judgment. 365 00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:43,525 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/42eqr Help other users to choose the best subtitles