1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:06,060
All right, I'm ready
for my next question.

2
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:09,810
In a world where rhinoceroses
are domesticated pets,

3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,810
who wins the Second World War?

4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,020
Uganda.

5
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,020
Defend.

6
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,870
Kenya rises to power

7
00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:20,490
on the export of rhinoceroses.

8
00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:22,690
A Central African
power block is formed,

9
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,790
colonizing North Africa and Europe.

10
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:28,210
When war breaks out, no one can
afford the luxury of a rhino.

11
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:30,600
Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

12
00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:33,720
Correct.

13
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,040
My turn.

14
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:41,080
In a world where a piano is a weapon,
not a musical instrument,

15
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,860
on what does Scott Joplin
play "The Maple Leaf Rag"?

16
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:47,650
Tuned bayonets.

17
00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:48,720
Defend.

18
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:49,650
Isn't it obvious?

19
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,220
You're right. My apologies.

20
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,240
What the hell are you guys playing?

21
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,990
It's a game we invented.

22
00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:01,200
It's called Counterfactuals.

23
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,560
We postulate an alternate
world that differs from ours

24
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:06,080
in one key aspect and then
pose questions to each other.

25
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,920
It's fun for ages eight to 80.

26
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,370
Join us.

27
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,870
All right.

28
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,340
I like a good brainteaser.

29
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:13,920
Give it a whirl.

30
00:01:13,930 --> 00:01:15,510
You're in luck;
this is an easy one.

31
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,560
In a world where mankind is ruled

32
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,080
by a giant intelligent beaver,

33
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,550
what food is no longer consumed?

34
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:28,460
Uh... a BLT where the
"B" stands for beaver?

35
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,670
I don't know.

36
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,760
Leonard, be serious.

37
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,530
We're playing a game here.

38
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,600
I can figure this out.

39
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,630
Let's see.

40
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,400
Um, well, beavers eat tree bark.

41
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,790
The only tree bark I know that
humans consume is cinnamon.

42
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,410
So, I'll say cinnamon.

43
00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:45,440
Incorrect.

44
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,930
Obviously, the answer
is cheese Danish.

45
00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:50,280
What?

46
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,000
In a world ruled by a giant beaver,

47
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,280
mankind builds many dams to
please the beaver overlord.

48
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,670
The low-lying city of
Copenhagen is flooded.

49
00:01:58,670 --> 00:01:59,950
Thousands die.

50
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:04,410
Devastated, the Danes never
invent their namesake pastry.

51
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,010
How does one miss that?

52
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,400
This is ridiculous.

53
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,930
You're just making stuff up.

54
00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:15,250
Is he always like
this when he loses?

55
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,670
Oh, yes.

56
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:20,510
You should've been here for the
great Jenga tantrum of 2008.

57
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,560
You bumped the table
and you know it.

58
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,580
Perhaps it would be
kinder to play a game

59
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:32,620
more suited to his abilities.

60
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,420
We'll close our eyes and
count to ten while you hide.

61
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:39,090
I'm going to my room.

62
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:40,340
Very good, Leonard.

63
00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:42,510
But next time, don't tell
us where you're hiding.

64
00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:12,110
Did you guys see the paper

65
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,200
in The American Physics
Journal on supersolids?

66
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,400
It's pretty interesting.

67
00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:16,640
This guy's working from
a hypothesis where...

68
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,620
Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert.

69
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:20,410
What? Don't ruin it for me, man.

70
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:23,250
I printed out a PDF
to read on the potty.

71
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,300
On the potty?

72
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,350
What are you, five?

73
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:27,330
It's a potty. What do you call it?

74
00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:28,350
Toilet.

75
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:29,340
That's a little vulgar for

76
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:30,470
the dinner table, don't you think?

77
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,590
Oh, and "potty" is okay?

78
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:33,590
"Potty" is innocent.

79
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:34,710
"Potty" is adorable.

80
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,480
What do you do in the potty,
wee-wee?

81
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,810
If I don't have to boom-boom.

82
00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:42,180
Greetings.

83
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,350
You all remember Amy Farrah Fowler.

84
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,570
Nice to see you. Hello.

85
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:47,600
Sorry we're late.

86
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,650
I must take responsibility.

87
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,320
I had to stop for
feminine hygiene supplies.

88
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,490
Aha. Okay.

89
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:53,660
I believe she's
experiencing her menses.

90
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:55,910
Actually, I'm not.

91
00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:57,660
In order to avoid surprises,
I wear them all the time.

92
00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:58,860
Aha. Okay.

93
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,250
"Toilet's" sounding
pretty good now, huh?

94
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,670
Hey, look, it's Shamy.

95
00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:07,010
Shamy?

96
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:10,180
A juvenile amalgamation
of our names.

97
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,710
Sheldon, Amy— Shamy.

98
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,050
Oh.

99
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:15,050
I don't like that.

100
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,100
Don't do that.

101
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,180
All righty. What's new?

102
00:04:19,190 --> 00:04:21,770
Well, just recently, I learned
that you refer to us as Shamy,

103
00:04:21,770 --> 00:04:23,010
and I don't like that.

104
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,840
I got it.

105
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,630
But what I was going for was,
you know, how's your life?

106
00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:29,450
Like everybody else's.

107
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:32,560
Subject to entropy,
decay and eventual death.

108
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,250
Thank you for asking.

109
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,040
Why is she not taking our order?

110
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,240
I should've warned you,

111
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,710
one has to navigate a
labyrinth of social nonsense

112
00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:43,380
before one can be fed here.

113
00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,710
Really?

114
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:46,410
I assumed an establishment called

115
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:49,210
the Cheesecake Factory would
function more efficiently.

116
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,530
It's how they lure you in.

117
00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:52,800
I believe it's called "
bait and switch."

118
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,670
Okay, I'm just gonna walk away,

119
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,760
'cause... I don't want to be here.

120
00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:03,700
So, this is nice.

121
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,550
First time we've all
gotten together to eat.

122
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:08,830
You're right, he's a
festival of humdrum chitchat.

123
00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:11,820
Okay, that's all I got.

124
00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:14,070
Howard, you're up.

125
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:17,580
Um... tell us about your work, Amy.

126
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,280
I doubt you'd understand.

127
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,030
Sheldon tells me you only
have a master's degree.

128
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,420
Raj, do you have any
questions for Amy?

129
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,830
I'm curious as to why
we're not eating alone.

130
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,890
They can't function without me.

131
00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:39,750
I'm the social glue that holds
this little group together.

132
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,220
You're welcome.

133
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,470
Listen, can I talk to you
about your girlfriend?

134
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,270
She's not my girlfriend.

135
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,230
She's a girl and she's my friend,

136
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:53,950
but there's no touching or
unsanitary exchange of saliva.

137
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:56,820
Got it.

138
00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,780
Although, for the record,
on one occasion,

139
00:05:58,790 --> 00:06:01,440
she licked her thumb to
remove raspberry jelly

140
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,290
from the corner of my mouth.

141
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:05,710
It's an action we both
regret to this day.

142
00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:06,790
Uh-huh.

143
00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:09,130
Anyway, I'm not sure
she's the best fit

144
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:12,780
for our little— how should
we call it— rebel alliance.

145
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:16,170
Oh, I never identified
with the rebel alliance.

146
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,590
Despite their tendency
to build Death Stars,

147
00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:20,840
I've always been more
of an empire man.

148
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,790
Yeah, not my point.

149
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:25,010
I know what your point is.

150
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,060
You're intimidated
by Amy's intellect.

151
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:29,520
To that I say, buck up.

152
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,730
Okay, let me just

153
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:31,820
get right to it.

154
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:35,150
Amy is judgmental,
sanctimonious and frankly...

155
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,420
just obnoxious.

156
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,190
So?

157
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,580
So we already have
you for all that.

158
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:47,170
Are you suggesting I terminate
my relationship with Amy?

159
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,580
No, no, of course not.

160
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:51,670
Just have your relationship
someplace else.

161
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:55,290
May I point out that
for eight long months,

162
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,160
I suffered in silence
as your female companion

163
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,380
filled our apartment with her

164
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:03,220
off-key country music caterwauling,

165
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,670
the unappetizing spectacle

166
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:08,350
of her grinding a pumice stone
against her calloused feet

167
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,970
in our living room,

168
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:13,340
and night after night of
uninformative TV documentaries

169
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:15,890
about the Jersey Shore.

170
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,200
Suffered in silence?

171
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,200
Yes.

172
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:26,490
And I'd thank you to do the same.

173
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,410
Reall— Silence?

174
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:35,200
Ah.

175
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,000
Nothing makes beer
taste better than

176
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,990
cool clear Rocky
Mountain spring water.

177
00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,110
Where are the Rocky
Mountains, anyway?

178
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:46,780
Philadelphia.

179
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:47,790
Really?

180
00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:49,230
I thought they were
out West someplace.

181
00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,380
Think about it, Raj.

182
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:53,750
Where did the movie
Rocky take place?

183
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,320
Philadelphia.

184
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,270
Okay, now I get it.

185
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,860
So this is the plan?

186
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:02,820
From now on, we're just
gonna hide out in here

187
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,990
to avoid the Shamy?

188
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,580
I'm very comfortable here.

189
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:11,120
Penny, dear, why don't you shoot
another silver bullet my way?

190
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,170
Get one yourself.

191
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:16,420
Ooh, somebody's been
taking bitchy pills.

192
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:20,080
God, he's an ass when he drinks.

193
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,430
Oh, he's an ass when he doesn't.

194
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:23,630
You just don't hear it.

195
00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:26,580
Think we need to start
entertaining the possibility

196
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,430
that the Shamy could
go on for years.

197
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:31,140
Well, if that's the case,
Penny will have to get satellite TV

198
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,860
and maybe once a week run a
vacuum through this place.

199
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:39,900
I thought you were going
to talk to Sheldon.

200
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,760
I did. Well, what'd he say?

201
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,900
Well, he pointed out that
he kinda sorta had to...

202
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,370
put up with you.

203
00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:47,320
Kinda sorta had to?

204
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,620
I didn't agree with him.

205
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,620
Well, you defended me, right?

206
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,460
I tried, but...

207
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:58,780
he made a fairly
well-reasoned argument.

208
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:02,050
You're not doing that right.

209
00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:03,050
What?

210
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,290
Gimme.

211
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:05,500
No. Trust me.

212
00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:08,220
No! I do this for
my mom all the time.

213
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:11,390
See?

214
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,510
With the grain.

215
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:16,130
Wow, that is better.

216
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,820
And someday, when you
have varicose veins,

217
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:20,740
I'll show you how to massage them.

218
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:27,660
Oh, God, never again.

219
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:30,650
I assume by "never again,
" you mean never again will you drink

220
00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:33,030
all of Penny's beer,
then run down to the gas station

221
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,250
for a couple of 40s,
a box of Slim Jims

222
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:39,170
and the latest issue of
Bombay Badonkadonks.

223
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,360
I was homesick.

224
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,460
The highlight of the evening
was when you showed us

225
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,550
your Bollywood break
dancing skills.

226
00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:56,310
That's very offensive.

227
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,390
Yeah, we all thought so.

228
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,690
Oh, no.

229
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:01,690
What?

230
00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:04,060
It's John and Yoko.

231
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,820
More like Yoko and Yoko.

232
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:08,520
Greetings. Hey.

233
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,740
I brought Amy here

234
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,990
to show her some of
the work I'm doing.

235
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:14,370
It's very impressive,
for theoretical work.

236
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,530
Do I detect a hint
of condescension?

237
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,730
I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?

238
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,170
I meant compared to the
real-world applications

239
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:26,200
of neurobiology,
theoretical physics is—

240
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,400
what's the word I'm looking for?--
hmm, cute.

241
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:34,090
Are you suggesting the
work of a neurobiologist

242
00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:37,460
like Babinski could ever
rise to the significance

243
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,820
of a physicist like
Clarke-Maxwell or Dirac?

244
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:42,520
I'm stating it outright.

245
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,520
Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast

246
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,420
and defecates Clarke-Maxwell.

247
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:51,430
You take that back.

248
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,300
Absolutely not.

249
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,530
My colleagues and I are mapping

250
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,500
the neurological
substrates that subserve

251
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,650
global information processing,

252
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,750
which is required for
all cognitive reasoning,

253
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:04,460
including scientific inquiry,
making my research ipso facto

254
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:05,790
prior in the ordo cognoscendi.

255
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,490
That means it's better
than his research,

256
00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:10,510
and by extension, of course, yours.

257
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,300
I'm sorry, I'm-I'm still trying

258
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,600
to work on the defecating
Clark Maxwell, so...

259
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:24,140
Excuse me, but a
grand unified theory,

260
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:26,730
insofar as it explains everything,

261
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:29,780
will ipso facto
explain neurobiology.

262
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,400
Yes, but if I'm successful,

263
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,900
I will be able to map and
reproduce your thought processes

264
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,790
in deriving a grand unified theory,

265
00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:38,660
and therefore, subsume your
conclusions under my paradigm.

266
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:42,210
That's the rankest psychologism,

267
00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:44,610
and was conclusively
revealed as hogwash

268
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:46,730
by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s!

269
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:49,840
We appear to have
reached an impasse.

270
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,500
I agree.

271
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:55,140
I move our relationship
terminate immediately.

272
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,140
Seconded.

273
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,240
There being no objections...

274
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,980
Uh-uh.

275
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,680
the motion carries.

276
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,650
Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler.

277
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,650
Good day, Sheldon Cooper.

278
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:12,660
Women, huh?

279
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,190
Can't live with them,

280
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,610
can't successfully
refute their hypotheses.

281
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:19,780
Amen to that.

282
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,470
Hey, Sheldon.

283
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,110
Hello.

284
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:32,860
I hear you broke up with Amy.

285
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:37,280
A breakup would imply
she was my girlfriend.

286
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,900
She was a girl who was my friend

287
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:42,340
who is now a girl who
is not my friend.

288
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:45,920
Wow. That's like the
worst country song ever.

289
00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:50,410
So, how are you doing?

290
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:51,680
Regarding what?

291
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:52,810
Amy.

292
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,910
I don't follow.

293
00:12:54,920 --> 00:13:00,140
Well, breakups— or whatever the
hell this is— can be tough.

294
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,140
Penny, I assure you, I'm fine.

295
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:05,310
My relationship with Amy
was purely intellectual,

296
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,760
There were no emotional bonds,

297
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,100
the severing of which would
cause me any discomfort.

298
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,770
The relationship simply
outlived its utility,

299
00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:15,740
and I'm continuing on
with my life as before.

300
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,620
Okay. Good.

301
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:21,460
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to buy a pussycat.

302
00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,330
I gotta tell you guys,

303
00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:26,910
I'm a little worried about Sheldon.

304
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,750
We're all a little
worried about Sheldon.

305
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:32,790
No, I mean since the
Shamy hit a reef.

306
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:35,050
Oh, I thought you were just
making a generalization:

307
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,470
"You know,
I'm worried about Sheldon

308
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,670
"someday setting off a
low-yield nuclear device

309
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,430
because the cafeteria
ran out of lime Jell-O."

310
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:43,810
What does "hit a reef" mean?

311
00:13:43,810 --> 00:13:45,350
Uh, went splitsville.

312
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:46,350
Pardon?

313
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:48,940
Turned to boom-boom.

314
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,690
Ah.

315
00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,160
I think Sheldon really misses Amy.

316
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,430
You should lend him your copy of
Bombay Badonkadonks.

317
00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,610
He got a cat to keep him company.

318
00:13:59,610 --> 00:14:00,610
You're kidding.

319
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,860
He takes it everywhere:

320
00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:03,720
to bed, to the bathroom.

321
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,670
He takes the kitty to the potty?

322
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,290
I thought we discussed the P-word.

323
00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:09,860
Don't try to change me, dude.

324
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,840
I am what I am.

325
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,160
Oh, gentlemen.

326
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,210
Hey. Aren't you going
to introduce us

327
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,880
to your little friend?

328
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,350
My apologies.

329
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:25,120
Raj, Howard, I'd like you to meet Dr.
Robert Oppenheimer.

330
00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:28,390
Hello. Hi.

331
00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:29,680
Now, if you'll excuse me,

332
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,200
the father of the atomic
bomb wants a saucer of milk.

333
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:37,320
Okay, I get it.
We're worried about Sheldon.

334
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,780
Yeah.

335
00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:43,620
Hey.

336
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:46,140
Oh, no.

337
00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:48,740
Robert Oppenheimer was lonely.

338
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,970
So you decided to get the
whole Manhattan Project?

339
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:57,980
Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman,
Edward Teller, Otto Frisch...

340
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:01,690
Zazzles.
- Zazzles?

341
00:15:01,690 --> 00:15:03,940
I was going to name him Hermann Von Helmholtz

342
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:07,060
but he's so zazzy.

343
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,230
Okay, we need to talk.

344
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,490
About what?

345
00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,100
Cats, Sheldon.

346
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:17,110
You're clearly upset
about Amy being gone,

347
00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,830
and you're trying to replace
her with a bunch of cats.

348
00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:21,410
Clowder. What?

349
00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:24,780
A group of cats is a clowder.
Or a glaring.

350
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:25,830
Okay, yeah, fine.

351
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,530
It's the kind of thing you ought

352
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:29,200
to know now that we have one.

353
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,460
Terrific. My point is,
you need to face up

354
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,420
to what you're feeling
with this breakup.

355
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:35,680
It wasn't a breakup.

356
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,580
A breakup would imply that
Amy was my girlfriend.

357
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:40,100
Okay, I got it, I got it;
she's not your girlfriend.

358
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,460
Now listen to me.

359
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:45,050
I know about loneliness.

360
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:47,390
I know about trying to replace
someone with other stuff.

361
00:15:47,390 --> 00:15:50,270
When I broke up with Penny,
I got back into my cello,

362
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:52,390
I built a bunch of model rockets,

363
00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:56,910
I got those weightlifting gloves
and that five-pound dumbbell.

364
00:15:56,910 --> 00:16:00,280
You didn't break up,
she dumped you.

365
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,230
She didn't dump me.

366
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,620
It was mutual!

367
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,290
I was there. She dumped you.

368
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:06,670
Okay, fine.

369
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:07,960
Live with cats.

370
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,240
Be like my Aunt Nancy.

371
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,610
She had dozens of them.

372
00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:13,080
And do you know what happened
after she died? They ate her.

373
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,750
You don't have to sell
me on cats, Leonard.

374
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:16,970
I'm already a fan.

375
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:25,640
All right, fellas,
who's in the mood for Fancy Feast?

376
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,630
Well, that's not fancy at all.

377
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,980
Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming.

378
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,070
Where is he?

379
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:37,240
He's in his bedroom.

380
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,020
Now, when you said on the phone

381
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:42,530
he broke up with a girl,
you meant an actual girl,

382
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:45,030
not something you kids
whipped up in a lab?

383
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:46,580
No, she's real.

384
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,610
Did they sin?

385
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,650
No, no, it's not like that.

386
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:52,750
It's, uh...

387
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,450
I don't know what it's like.

388
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,370
But there is something I
should prepare you for.

389
00:16:56,370 --> 00:17:00,040
Oh, relax, Leonard,
I have raised that boy.

390
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,600
I've seen him at his best,
I've seen him at his worst.

391
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,210
There's nothing he can
do that'll surprise me.

392
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,050
Hold on to that thought.

393
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,850
Come in.

394
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,840
Surprise.

395
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,640
Mom, what an unexpected pleasure.

396
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:22,480
My, my, that's a powerful smell.

397
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,490
I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer,
Frisch, Panofsky,

398
00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:28,200
Feynman, Weisskopf...

399
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:29,370
Yeah, I get it.

400
00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:31,160
You got a lot of cats

401
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,180
and you gave 'em cute Jewish names.

402
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,040
What are you doing here?

403
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:36,300
Leonard called.

404
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:39,530
And he said that you were
pining for a young lady.

405
00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:41,330
Oh, that's preposterous.

406
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:43,370
I'm not pining over anyone.

407
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:46,470
Oh, lambchop, we can
quibble what to call it,

408
00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:50,040
but I think we can
both agree it's creepy.

409
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,140
I do not agree.

410
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,500
Cats make wonderful companions.

411
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:58,770
They don't argue or question
my intellectual authority,

412
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,650
and this little guy here,

413
00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:03,910
I think you'll find
to be quite zazzy.

414
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,690
You should have called sooner.

415
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,030
Shelly! Dinner's ready!

416
00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:13,070
Coming!

417
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,330
No cats!

418
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:15,750
Aw...

419
00:18:19,790 --> 00:18:21,290
What is she doing here?

420
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:22,590
I called her.

421
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,640
Your mother thinks

422
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,590
you might be losing
your mind over me.

423
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,250
As a neurobiologist, I was curious.

424
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:31,930
Well, rest assured, I am in
full possession of my faculties.

425
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:35,050
25 cats!

426
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:38,360
Oh, God bless you, dear.

427
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,730
Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk.

428
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:43,530
All right, but you're
not fooling me.

429
00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:44,750
Whenever you say we have to talk,

430
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:45,980
it means you want me to listen.

431
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:46,980
Then stop talking.

432
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,780
Yes, ma'am.

433
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,900
Now, the reason I
called Amy over was

434
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:53,460
to find out what type
of person she is.

435
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,120
And after chatting a bit,

436
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,460
I have to say that while she is a

437
00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,960
perfectly unique young woman,

438
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,480
you two are definitely not
suited for each other.

439
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,290
That's a peculiar conclusion.

440
00:19:07,290 --> 00:19:09,740
By any standard,
Amy is more similar to me

441
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,060
than anyone I've ever met.

442
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,860
Oh, I'm sorry, Shelly,
I can't see it.

443
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:16,760
Well, whether you see
it or not is irrelevant.

444
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,760
I can't see subatomic particles,

445
00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:20,620
but nevertheless, they're there.

446
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,730
Excellent point.

447
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:23,470
A physics point.

448
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:26,010
Touché.

449
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:28,340
Well, putting aside the pig Latin,

450
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,180
it's a good thing that

451
00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:32,130
you two decided to
end the relationship

452
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,580
so I didn't have to end it for you.

453
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:38,600
Amy, after consideration,

454
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,800
I believe we may have acted rashly.

455
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,670
I propose we resume
our relationship

456
00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:45,170
and attempt to resolve
our differences.

457
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:47,130
I'll agree to that only
if you'll stipulate

458
00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:49,230
that 80% of our difficulties
were caused by you.

459
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,010
I'll go as high as 40. Sixty-five.

460
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,550
Done.

461
00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,550
You understand that moving forward,

462
00:19:54,550 --> 00:19:58,040
we deal with the fact that my
mother does not approve of you?

463
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,010
I do. I find being cast

464
00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:03,690
in the role of bad
girl oddly titillating.

465
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,110
Would you like to see my cats?

466
00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:09,230
I would. I love cats.

467
00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:10,570
They're the epitome
of indifference.

468
00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:14,390
Ah, then you may find
Zazzles a little cloying.

469
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:17,240
I saw what you did there.

470
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,330
He thinks he's such a smarty pants.

471
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:20,710
He's no different from any man.

472
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:23,080
You tell 'em not to do
something, that's all

473
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,050
they want to do.

474
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:25,550
If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy

475
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,530
not to clear out the
wood chipper by hand,

476
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,080
we'd still be calling him Edward.

477
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,870
Now, don't you move.

478
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:33,470
I'll bring over all the food.

479
00:20:33,470 --> 00:20:35,570
No, no, no, I can do it.

480
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:39,580
Well, isn't that sweet?

481
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,340
Thank you, Amy.

482
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:49,840
Here's your cat.

483
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:52,640
And here's your $20.

484
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,260
Next!

485
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,220
Thank you, Amy.

486
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:58,400
Here's your cat.

487
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,240
And here's your $20.

488
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,130
Next!

489
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:07,130
— Sync, corrected by elderman —
— for www.addic7ed.com —

490
00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:10,130
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —