1
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:06,240
I'm telling you, if xenon emits
ultraviolet light,

2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,650
then those dark matter
discoveries must be wrong.

3
00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:10,650
Yes, well, if we lived
in a world

4
00:00:10,650 --> 00:00:12,680
where slow-moving xenon
produced light,

5
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,920
then you'd be correct.

6
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,450
Also, pigs would fly,

7
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,290
my derriere would produce
cotton candy,

8
00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:20,890
and The Phantom Menace
would be a timeless classic.

9
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,090
Oh, you're so arrogant.

10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,390
If you were a superhero,

11
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,160
your name would be
Captain Arrogant.

12
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,330
And you know
what your superpower would be?

13
00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:28,830
Arrogance.

14
00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:31,100
You're wrong again.

15
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:36,940
If my superpower were arrogance,
my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

16
00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:40,080
I love watching Raj and Sheldon
try to work together.

17
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,080
Yeah, it's like
if Alien and Predator decided

18
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,520
to go partners
in a Jamba Juice.

19
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,380
Has it occurred to you
you're missing the big picture?

20
00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:49,490
If you look at neutron
scattering data...
Oh, Penny?

21
00:00:49,490 --> 00:00:50,550
Penny?
What's up?

22
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,360
Nothing. I just wanted

23
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,620
to make Raj stop talking.

24
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,530
No, no, no.

25
00:00:56,530 --> 00:00:58,200
He won. Suck it up.

26
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,630
Well, I'd ask you guys
if you want dessert,

27
00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,830
but I know Sheldon doesn't
eat dessert on Tuesdays.

28
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,300
And even if Raj wanted
something, he couldn't tell me.

29
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,540
Howard won't order anything,

30
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,710
but he will come up
with some sort of skeevy comment

31
00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,340
involving the words pie
or cheesecake.

32
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,540
And Leonard's
lactose intolerant,

33
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,940
so he can't eat anything here

34
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:15,480
without his intestines
blowing up

35
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:16,710
like a balloon animal.

36
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,480
Hang on a second.

37
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,050
I could have the fruit platter.

38
00:01:21,050 --> 00:01:22,020
You want the fruit platter?

39
00:01:22,020 --> 00:01:23,550
Does it have melon
on it?
Yeah.

40
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,020
No, I can't eat melon.

41
00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:27,560
Oh, Howard,
heads up.

42
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,730
Your ex-girlfriend just
came in for her shift.

43
00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:32,560
When was the last time
you saw her?

44
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,160
Oh, not since we broke up.

45
00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:37,300
Wow. How am I going
to play this?

46
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,370
Sophisticated and relaxed?

47
00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:40,770
Friendly, noncommittal?

48
00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:42,570
Cold and distant?

49
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,280
Hi, guys.
Hey.

50
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,050
Hello.

51
00:01:49,050 --> 00:01:53,250
I see you decided to go
with pathetic and frightened.

52
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,850
It's one of his best moves.

53
00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:45,670
So, my dear, we meet again.

54
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,380
Hello, Howard.

55
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:50,750
I've missed you.

56
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:54,650
I've missed you,
Katee Sackhoff.

57
00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:56,950
One question.
Anything.

58
00:02:56,950 --> 00:03:00,460
Why am I wearing my
Battlestar Galactica
flight suit in bed?

59
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,590
Why are you in bed with me?

60
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:07,400
If we start to question this,
it all falls apart.

61
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,560
Sorry.

62
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:11,800
Oh, ravish
me, Howard.

63
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,040
My loins
ache for you.

64
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,270
Okay, if you insist.

65
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,710
MRS.
Howard, have you seen

66
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,080
my girdle?

67
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,710
No, Ma!

68
00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:27,180
I can't find it, and I'm late
for my Weight Watchers meeting!

69
00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,320
Maybe it committed suicide!

70
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,750
Leave me alone!

71
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:34,560
Now, where were we?

72
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,590
I believe you
were about

73
00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:39,390
to rip off my uniform
with your teeth.

74
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,930
Bernadette?

75
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,300
What are you doing here?

76
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,430
Well, if I had to
guess, I'd say I'm here

77
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,030
because you saw me
earlier this evening,

78
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,540
and you're still
hung up on me.

79
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,770
No, I'm not.

80
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,240
Clearly you are.

81
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,040
Otherwise, based
on past experience,

82
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,210
we'd be done by now.

83
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,680
Okay,
I'm a little confused here.

84
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,850
Oh, my.

85
00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:04,390
Can I help?

86
00:04:06,290 --> 00:04:08,820
Not that kind of confused.

87
00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:10,660
What's George
Takei doing here?

88
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:13,260
Howard, do you have
latent homosexual tendencies?

89
00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:15,300
No, of course not.

90
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,900
So you say.

91
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:19,270
Yet, here I am.

92
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,540
George, let me
ask you something.

93
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,410
How did you deal
with being typecast

94
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,870
as a science fiction icon?

95
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,410
It's difficult.

96
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,280
You try and stretch
as an actor—

97
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,710
do Strindberg, O'Neill,

98
00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:35,820
but all they want is,
"Course laid in, Captain."

99
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,080
Tell me about it.

100
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:40,350
It's frackin'
frustrating.

101
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,590
Wait. Katee,
why are you leaving?

102
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:45,560
She's leaving because you
really want to be with me.

103
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,130
MRS.
Howard, I found my girdle!

104
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:50,800
It was in the dryer!

105
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,500
Great, Ma!

106
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,940
I think it shrunk!

107
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:58,270
I'm spilling out like
the Pillsbury Doughboy here!

108
00:04:58,270 --> 00:05:00,410
And with that mental picture,

109
00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:02,980
I think we're done
for the evening.

110
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:10,690
You know, you never
told me what happened

111
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,020
between you
and Bernadette.

112
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,620
I did a stupid thing.

113
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:16,060
Yeah, I guessed that.

114
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,590
It was the kind of thing

115
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:20,090
that makes it kind of hard
to face her now.

116
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:22,760
That covers anything
from farting in bed

117
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,400
to killing a homeless guy.

118
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,600
Oh, my God.

119
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,540
You ran over a hobo.

120
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,840
No. Stop asking.

121
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,540
All right, fine. So you want to
get back together with her,

122
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:36,110
but you're too
ashamed to face her

123
00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:37,780
because of whatever
it is you did.

124
00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:38,980
In a nutshell.
Okay.

125
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:40,680
Well, how about this?

126
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,850
Kidnap Bernadette from the opera

127
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:46,150
wearing a creepy mask so
she doesn't know it's you.

128
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:50,160
Now, you see, I don't know
if you're kidding or not.

129
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,260
You're being
unreasonable.

130
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,500
Why can't
I have a desk?

131
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,660
Our collaboration is a work
of the mind.

132
00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:58,100
We don't need desks.

133
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,330
You have a desk.

134
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:01,170
Correct.
But I can't have one.

135
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,570
You're two for two.

136
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:05,340
Why can't he have a desk,
Sheldon?

137
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,070
Oh, Lord, will
this day never end?

138
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,210
As I've explained repeatedly
to Dr. Koothrappali,

139
00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:12,610
whose ability to comprehend
the American idiom fails him

140
00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:14,020
when it's convenient,

141
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,520
there's absolutely
no money

142
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,120
in my budget for
additional office furniture.

143
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,020
Oh, but there's money
for a drawer full of Red Vines,

144
00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,620
a marshmallow shooting rifle,

145
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:26,260
and a super executive ant farm
with glow-in-the-dark sand?

146
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,500
Yes.

147
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,170
Okay, what if he
buys his own desk?

148
00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:32,730
Yeah, what
if I buy my own desk?

149
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,400
That's ridiculous.
Why?

150
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,600
Because...

151
00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:41,140
Yes?

152
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,740
It's my office.

153
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:46,410
Sheldon.
All right, all right.

154
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:48,280
He can buy his own desk.

155
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,050
And I can put it in your office?

156
00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:51,420
Well, you really want

157
00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:53,720
to dot the I's and cross
the T's, don't you?

158
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,390
Why would you want
a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?

159
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,130
They do some
of their best work at night.

160
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,730
Ah, it's okay.

161
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,000
Penny?

162
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:13,770
Penny?

163
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,980
Penny?

164
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,550
Would you have opened the door
if you knew it was me?

165
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,820
Not since I found out

166
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:31,060
the teddy bear you gave me
had a webcam in it.

167
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,760
I just have a question.

168
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,330
Does Bernadette
ever talk about me?

169
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,300
Oh, absolutely.

170
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,530
She does?
Yeah, sure.

171
00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:39,600
Just yesterday, she asked,

172
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,040
"Why is Howard hiding
under the table?"

173
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,470
She saw that, huh?

174
00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:45,670
Oh, no, not at first.

175
00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:47,610
Right after I pointed it out.

176
00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:49,180
Let me ask you something else.

177
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:51,510
Is she seeing anybody?

178
00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:52,950
Oh, not that I know of.

179
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,380
Hey, while
we're on the subject,

180
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,050
why did you guys break up
anyway?

181
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,120
Oh, I'd rather not say.

182
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,350
Howard, if you want my help,
I've got to know what happened.

183
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,890
But it's embarrassing...

184
00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:04,560
Yeah, that's what
I'm counting on. Spill.

185
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:09,130
Okay. Well, you know
World of Warcraft?

186
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:10,800
Um, the online game? Sure.

187
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,230
Well, did you know

188
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,970
that the characters in the game
can have sex with each other?

189
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,310
Oh, God. I think
I see where this is going.

190
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:23,910
Her name was
Glissinda the Troll.

191
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,880
Bernadette walked in on me

192
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,080
while we were doing
the cyber-nasty

193
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,150
under the Bridge of Souls.

194
00:08:32,150 --> 00:08:34,360
Oh, you're right.

195
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,220
That is so embarrassing.

196
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,390
Would you talk to her?

197
00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:40,430
Bernadette or the troll?

198
00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:42,430
Bernadette. She
was so mad at me,

199
00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:45,070
she wouldn't even listen
to my side of the story.

200
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:46,500
Well, what was your side?

201
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,740
Well, for all we know,

202
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,740
Glissinda the Troll
wasn't even a real woman.

203
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,070
I mean, she could've been
a 50-year-old truck driver

204
00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:54,010
in New Jersey.

205
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:57,710
Really? And that didn't
make her feel better?

206
00:08:57,710 --> 00:09:01,050
Will you talk to her, see
if there's any chance at all

207
00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:02,680
we could get back together?

208
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,250
Oh, gee, Howard,
I really don't want

209
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:05,750
to get in the middle of this.

210
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,320
No. Why would you?

211
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,660
I'm just another lonely
nerd, living with his mother,

212
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,560
trying to find any scrap
of happiness he can.

213
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,700
You know, maybe to make up
for the fact that his dad

214
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,570
left him when
he was 11.

215
00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:21,900
Okay, I will think about it.

216
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,410
You know, I've always
blamed myself

217
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:25,840
for him leaving.

218
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,410
I always thought it was because
I wasn't the son he wanted.

219
00:09:29,410 --> 00:09:30,880
Yeah, I said I'd
think about it.

220
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,450
I wasn't athletic,
yeah, I was kind of sickly...

221
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:36,120
Okay, fine. Look, look,
I'm calling her now! See?

222
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,590
Thank you.

223
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:42,360
So anyway,
Howard asked Penny

224
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,190
to talk to Bernadette,
and she did,

225
00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:46,990
and Bernadette agreed to meet
him for a cup of coffee.

226
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,400
One question.
Yeah?

227
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,170
Why on earth
are you telling me all this?

228
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,170
I don't know.

229
00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:55,570
Sometimes your movements
are so lifelike,

230
00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:58,070
I forget you're
not a real boy.

231
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,570
You said I could
buy a desk.

232
00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,710
This isn't a desk.

233
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:28,640
This is a...
Brobdingnagian
monstrosity.

234
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,610
Is that the American idiom

235
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:33,520
for "giant, big-ass desk"?

236
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,350
It's actually British.

237
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:37,990
Can you say it again for me?

238
00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:39,590
Brobdingnagian.

239
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:40,690
One more time?

240
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,960
Brobdingnagian.

241
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,360
Now three times fast?

242
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,360
Brobdingnagian, Brobdingna...

243
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,630
How did you even
get it in here?

244
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:54,940
That's for me, Ramon, Julio,
Jesus and Rodrigo to know

245
00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:56,500
and you to find out.

246
00:10:56,510 --> 00:11:00,070
All right, you've
made your point.

247
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,940
A fine prank, very amusing.

248
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,450
Now get it out.

249
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:06,850
No.

250
00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,050
Yes.

251
00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:09,050
Yes.
No.

252
00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,650
Yes!
I have three brothers

253
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:13,420
and two sisters, Sheldon—
I can do this all day.

254
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:16,120
All right, if you're
not going to remove it,

255
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,730
I'll remove it for you.

256
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:19,030
Knock yourself out.

257
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,340
Help me move my desk.

258
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:35,540
No.
Yes.

259
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:39,280
No. It's too Brobdingnagian.

260
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,220
Why do you even want this here?

261
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:45,490
Its size is completely
disproportionate
to its purpose.

262
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:47,760
Well, seeing as its purpose
was to piss you off,

263
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,760
I'd say it's spot-on.

264
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,630
All right, I see
what's going on.

265
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,400
This is the opening
salvo in what will be

266
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,500
an escalating series of
juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges.

267
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,740
Well titted.

268
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,740
Thank you.

269
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,710
Stand by for my upcoming tat.

270
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:08,810
Hey, Sheldon?

271
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:09,840
Yes?

272
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:11,650
No.

273
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:14,250
See what I did there?
I turned it around.

274
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,190
Sorry,

275
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:22,420
I had to clock out.

276
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:23,830
Oh, no, that's okay.

277
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,860
How have you been?

278
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:29,600
Okay. You know,
busy, schoolwork. You?

279
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,600
Same. I took a scuba-diving
course over the summer,

280
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:36,140
but it turns out I'm
terrified of the ocean.

281
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,810
Too bad.

282
00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:42,180
You wouldn't know anybody
who wants to buy a wet
suit, boy's large?

283
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,850
Yeah, forget it.
Not important.

284
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:49,050
So, are you
seeing anyone?

285
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:51,020
Well, to be honest, I...
Hey, how are we

286
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,190
doing over here? Can I
get you something to drink?

287
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,960
Not for me, thanks.
I'm okay.

288
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,420
Are you gonna want
to order food?

289
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:57,460
Maybe later.
Okay.

290
00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,530
So, are you seeing anybody?

291
00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:00,660
No.

292
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:02,630
That's what I told him
when he asked me.

293
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,430
I hope that's not out of line.

294
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:07,570
No, it's fine.
Penny, can we have
a little privacy?

295
00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,140
Oh. I'm sorry.

296
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:15,140
What about you,
have you been seeing anybody?

297
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,480
Well, you know
how it is with guys.

298
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,080
I mean, we have needs and...

299
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,220
So you've been seeing
other girls?

300
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:24,150
Well, not real girls.

301
00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:28,990
Does that mean slutty trolls?

302
00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:30,190
You know, you look thirsty.

303
00:13:30,190 --> 00:13:32,190
I brought you some iced tea.
Thank you.

304
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:34,100
It's passion fruit,
new on the menu.

305
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,330
I know. I work here.
Oh, sorry.

306
00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:39,330
Yeah, you're right. Doy.

307
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,440
So, Howard,

308
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,540
yay or nay?

309
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,070
Isn't there somewhere else
you can be?

310
00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:46,340
Not where I can hear you guys.

311
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:49,740
Okay, fine.

312
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:54,180
I'll admit, there are dark,
sordid little corners

313
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,480
of the Internet
where the name Wolowizard

314
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,350
is whispered in hushed tones.

315
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,960
The only reason I go there,

316
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,030
the only reason
I've ever gone there

317
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:07,430
is because I don't have
a real woman in my life.

318
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:11,430
You happy?
Yeah, that'll hold me
for a while.

319
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,900
Howard, you did have
a real woman.

320
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:17,040
I was right there
in the next room

321
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,270
while you were clicking
that troll's brains out.

322
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:24,710
Yeah, but we
weren't...

323
00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:26,380
I-I mean, you
and I never...

324
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,650
Had sex?

325
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:28,720
Yeah.

326
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,020
Well, whose fault was that?

327
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,390
Complimentary nachos!

328
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:34,990
You enjoy.

329
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,560
Never had sex? Wow.

330
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,430
What do you mean,
whose fault was that?

331
00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:42,000
Well, we could've
been having sex,

332
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,430
but you never made the move.

333
00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:45,900
I didn't think you wanted me
to make the move.

334
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,800
Howard, a girl doesn't go out
with a man like you,

335
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,670
with your looks,
your fancy patter

336
00:14:50,670 --> 00:14:54,240
and your tight hoochie pants
if she's not expecting him

337
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,840
to eventually make the move.

338
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:58,510
Really?

339
00:14:58,510 --> 00:14:59,580
Really.

340
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:02,480
Son of a bitch.

341
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,250
Hey, this is a little awkward,
but my manager says

342
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,360
I can't actually
give nachos away.

343
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,790
So... just take that
when you're ready.

344
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,160
Yeah, we had
a really great talk,

345
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,430
and we're gonna start
seeing each other again.

346
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:18,530
Oh, congratulations.

347
00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:21,870
Have you broken it
to the troll yet?

348
00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:23,670
Did Penny tell you about that?

349
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:25,640
No. Steve Patterson told me.

350
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,740
The greasy old fat guy
in Facilities Management?

351
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:32,050
Yeah.
How'd he know about it?

352
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:34,850
He's Glissinda the troll.

353
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,550
Sorry, dude,

354
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:38,550
the thermostat's
on my side of the room,

355
00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:42,820
so it stays Mumbai hot
in here until you turn off
that stupid Indian music!

356
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,490
I'll turn off the music

357
00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,930
when you get rid of that
salmonella-ridden parakeet!

358
00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:50,130
Oh, too bad! Sheldon's
pathologically
afraid of birds!

359
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:53,470
Hey, look, Sheldon!
Birdie, birdie, birdie!

360
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:56,170
That's it! Prepare
for marshmallow death!

361
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,770
Eat flaming Nerf!

362
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,620
So anyway...

363
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,020
That's great news
about you and Bernadette.

364
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:14,490
Yeah. I think I'm gonna take
her to miniature golf.

365
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:15,590
Ah. Well, I guess

366
00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:18,630
for you guys that's
like regular golf.

367
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,460
Short jokes? Really?
You're, like,

368
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:23,130
a quarter of an inch
taller than me.

369
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,770
Yeah, and don't
you forget it.

370
00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:29,600
I had a good time.

371
00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:31,270
Me, too.

372
00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:34,340
Kiss her good night.

373
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,780
All right, now a little tongue.

374
00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:42,250
Hold on there.

375
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:47,420
We've only just rekindled
the romance.

376
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:52,530
Let's not sully the moment
with the exchange of saliva.

377
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,530
Don't listen to him.

378
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,000
She wants it.

379
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,060
Tongue.

380
00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:59,270
La, la, la, la, la.

381
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,270
See?

382
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,910
Now make the move.

383
00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:07,940
Mm-mmm.
Too soon.

384
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,740
Trust me, she's ready.

385
00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:11,110
Make the move.

386
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:12,210
No, no, no.

387
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:15,250
A lady wants to be wooed,

388
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,820
courted slowly.

389
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,720
How would you know?

390
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,660
I read.

391
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:27,030
Listen to me, Howard, it's time.

392
00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:29,300
Make the move, now.

393
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,840
Mm! What are you doing?

394
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,810
You said... well,
the "move," remember?

395
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:38,910
Oh, not now.

396
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:40,210
We're starting a
new relationship.

397
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,240
I need to get to
know you again.

398
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,510
No, you don't.

399
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,050
It's me.

400
00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:47,720
The lusty charmer
with the fancy patter

401
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,950
and the hoochie pants.

402
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:53,750
Be patient;
we'll get there.

403
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,860
Told you.

404
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,870
Oh, God, what's that smell?

405
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,390
Oh-ho-hoo!

406
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:17,250
Yes?

407
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:19,690
What are you
doing in there?

408
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:23,160
I'm making
hydrogen sulfide
and ammonia gas.

409
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,760
Just a little experiment
in pest control.

410
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,600
It's not gonna work, dude;
I grew up in India—

411
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,100
an entire subcontinent
where cows walk in the street,

412
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,810
and nobody has ever had
a solid bowel movement.

413
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:38,140
Well, we'll just see
how long you can hold out.

414
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:39,310
Well, we'll just see how

415
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,450
your noxious gas fares
against my cinnamon-

416
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:45,020
apple-scented
aroma therapy candles.

417
00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:47,750
Didn't you say you're
making hydrogen sulfide gas?

418
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,790
Yes.
Isn't that flammable?

419
00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:51,060
Highly.

420
00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:53,820
Oh, dear.

421
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,130
This is not over.

422
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:13,140
— Sync, corrected by elderman —
— for www.addic7ed.com —

423
00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:16,140
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —