1
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,650
Problem?

2
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,060
This is the worst cobbler
I've ever eaten.

3
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:15,230
It tastes like it's made of
actual ground-up shoemaker.

4
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:18,800
Amusing. A play on the
two meanings of "cobbler."

5
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:24,040
Hey, guys. Guess who
I found at LAX?

6
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,370
My baby sister Priya.

7
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:27,540
Excuse me, I object.

8
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:29,740
You propose a guessing game,

9
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:31,710
yet you don't give me
enough time to guess.

10
00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:34,350
For the record,
I was going to say:

11
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:35,610
"Your sister Priya."

12
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:39,190
Oh, Sheldon. You haven't
changed a bit, have you?

13
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,290
Why would I change?

14
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:42,450
The hope has been that

15
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,520
you'd eventually bend
to public opinion.

16
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,660
So, Priya, what brings
you back to L.A.?

17
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,800
I have a one-day layover
on my way to Toronto.

18
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,200
Corporate merger.

19
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,300
Can you believe it?

20
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,670
Little Priya's one
of the lead attorneys

21
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,100
for the biggest
car company in India.

22
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:58,140
Given that when we met her,
she was finishing law school

23
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:01,510
and planning an internship
at a large Indian car company,

24
00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:03,410
it's actually
extremely plausible.

25
00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:06,880
And your poll numbers
just keep dropping.

26
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,180
I want to catch up
with all of you,

27
00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:10,920
but first I really
must visit the loo.

28
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,090
I'm going, too; I'll
show you where it is.

29
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,350
All right, this goes
without saying,

30
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,060
but I'm just going
to say it anyway.

31
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,330
Hands off my sister.

32
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:23,160
Why would I touch her? She's
covered with airplane germs.

33
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,800
I'm so not talking to you.
I'm talking to him.

34
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,490
Hey. I've got a girlfriend now.
Oh, please.

35
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,600
My sister's much hotter

36
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:33,570
than your girlfriend,
and you know it.

37
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:35,310
Let's just agree
they're both hot.

38
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:38,680
But dude, that's my sister
you're talking about!

39
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,450
Okay, forget who's hotter.

40
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:43,480
The first time Priya came to
L.A., Leonard and I made a pact

41
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,190
out of respect to our
friendship and to you

42
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,290
that neither of us
would hit on her.

43
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:49,920
Did you pinky-swear?

44
00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,390
Yes.

45
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,130
Okay, then.

46
00:01:57,130 --> 00:02:00,270
Cobbler. I'm still laughing.

47
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,640
It's really nice
to see you again, Leonard.

48
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,740
Yeah. It's good
to see you, too.

49
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:06,740
Here you go.

50
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:07,890
Thanks.

51
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,780
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

52
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,950
Okay.

53
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,360
So you got any special plans
with your sister?

54
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,800
Oh, not really. Just hang out.

55
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,470
I always tell people,
"If you have only one day

56
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:54,040
in Los Angeles,
make it a train day."

57
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,840
Train day?

58
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,210
The fun starts with brunch
at Carney's in Studio City,

59
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:02,350
a hotdog stand in a
converted railroad dining car.

60
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,480
Next stop, Travel Town,

61
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,790
an outdoor museum featuring
43 railroad engines,

62
00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:11,390
cars, and other rolling stock
from the 1880s to the 1930s.

63
00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:15,340
And, finally, we're off to the
glitz and glamour of Hollywood,

64
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:19,260
for dinner at—that's right—
the Hollywood Carney's,

65
00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:24,130
a hotdog stand in a different
converted railroad dining car.

66
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:27,240
I don't think
we're going to do that.

67
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,670
Well, then apparently
you hate fun.

68
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:37,110
Priya's not back yet?

69
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,570
Well, I guess
that's not unusual.

70
00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:40,990
Women, men, the whole
sitting-standing deal.

71
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,450
So what are we talking about?

72
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:44,120
Uh, my plans
with Priya.

73
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,090
He rejected Train Day.

74
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,660
Did you make it clear that
it's two different train cars

75
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,530
turned into hotdog stands?

76
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,260
Abundantly.

77
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:54,160
I guess he just hates fun.

78
00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:57,600
That's what I said!

79
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,410
Okay, so... what's
new with you guys?

80
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,840
I have a girlfriend now.

81
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,210
Hey, good for you!

82
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,880
Yeah, I just want
to put it out there

83
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,950
in case I inadvertently

84
00:04:07,950 --> 00:04:10,710
squirt any pheromones
in your direction.

85
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,650
Happy?

86
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:17,290
So, Priya, what are your
plans while you're here?

87
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,290
I don't know. I just
have the one day.

88
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:22,490
Do you like trains?

89
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,960
Not particularly.

90
00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:31,120
You might as well just wait
at the airport for your flight.

91
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,320
"You are in a forest.

92
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,990
"There is quicksand to the west,

93
00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:40,640
a path leads to the east."

94
00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:43,350
Go east.

95
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:47,280
"An iron gate blocks your way."

96
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:50,020
Open gate.

97
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:51,520
"It's locked."

98
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,690
Hmm.

99
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,860
Well, so much for that.

100
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,260
It's getting pretty late.
How come you're still up?

101
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:04,300
I found an emulator online that
lets you play classic text-based

102
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,770
computer games from the 1980s.

103
00:05:06,770 --> 00:05:08,210
That's pretty cool.

104
00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:11,610
Oh, yes. It runs on the world's
most powerful graphics chip:

105
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,880
imagination.

106
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,680
You've really got
to get out more.

107
00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:20,720
Go north.

108
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,890
"You can't go that way."

109
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,620
Go west.

110
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,020
"A troll blocks your passage."

111
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:29,330
Okay. Fasten your seatbelts.

112
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,960
Kill troll.

113
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,600
"With what?"

114
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,700
With sword.

115
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,270
"You don't have the sword."

116
00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:42,340
Good golly, it's as if
it's actually happening to me.

117
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,940
Raj finally went to bed.

118
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,350
Sheldon's still up.

119
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,120
You said he goes
to bed at 9:00.

120
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,820
Yeah, he does, but he got caught
up in a computer game and...

121
00:05:55,820 --> 00:06:04,600
Hit troll with axe!

122
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,000
My, this is one tough troll.

123
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,670
Can't you get rid of him?

124
00:06:08,670 --> 00:06:11,470
If the past is any
indication, no.

125
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,640
Leonard, I'm trapped
in quicksand!

126
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,470
The axe is dragging me down!

127
00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:17,570
Drop axe!

128
00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:20,110
Drop axe, brilliant!

129
00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:24,450
Give me a minute.

130
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,900
Sheldon.

131
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:27,950
Hold on.

132
00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:28,950
Trying to figure out

133
00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:29,950
how to get the bucket,

134
00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:32,420
so I can carry the mud
past the dragon.

135
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:34,760
Sheldon, you need to
work in the morning.

136
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,760
I know!

137
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:36,760
Well, then bed, mister!

138
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,100
Five more minutes!

139
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,500
Really?

140
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,730
You're going to risk getting
sleepy in the middle of your

141
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:44,000
thermodynamic
fluctuations seminar?

142
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,390
You know what happens
when you yawn in public.

143
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,810
Everyone will see
my oddly shaped uvula.

144
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:56,850
You don't want that, do you?

145
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,070
No.

146
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:04,920
But it's a shame our society
mocks the differently uvulated.

147
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:07,460
Who was at the door?

148
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,460
Uh, building manager.

149
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,330
They have to fix a pipe,

150
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:14,000
so the water'll be off
tomorrow from noon to 2:00.

151
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,530
That's unacceptable.

152
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:16,950
We're supposed to be
given written notice.

153
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,750
Well, no, it doesn't matter—
we'll be at work.

154
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:21,640
What if I spill tomato
soup on my shirt,

155
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,010
and have to come home to change,

156
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,380
only to find there's no water
for an enzyme soak?

157
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:27,480
Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!

158
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,380
I'll have the chicken noodle.
Good night!

159
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,940
We're going
to have to be very quiet.

160
00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:43,630
I know how to
get the bucket!

161
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,600
I can turn the axe around

162
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,120
and use the handle to reach it.

163
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,100
Let's see.

164
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,540
Go north.

165
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,120
"You are in a forest."

166
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,840
Go north.

167
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,270
"You are in a forest."

168
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,710
Go north.

169
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:01,380
"You are in a forest."
Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.

170
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:03,450
Well, I'll just have to get
a fresh start tomorrow.

171
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,330
No, no, no! You just
took a wrong turn.

172
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,820
You just need to map it out.

173
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,820
Come on, I'll help you.

174
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,290
So you stopped at the stream,

175
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:11,000
and you turned
north three times?

176
00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:12,160
Yes.

177
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,760
You're right.
You're lost. Good luck.

178
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:21,350
Oh!

179
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,400
Leonard. Wake up.

180
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,400
Huh? Wh— Sorry.

181
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,940
For what?

182
00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:27,370
I don't know. When I'm in bed
with a girl, it's just—

183
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,270
it's my go-to response.

184
00:08:29,270 --> 00:08:31,280
It's 6:00. I have
to get back to Raj's

185
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,110
before he wakes up
and realizes I'm gone.

186
00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:35,460
Oh. Right. Sure.

187
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:38,000
I wish you could stay
in L.A. a while longer.

188
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,020
Mmm, me, too.

189
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,530
You know, I was thinking:

190
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,450
There are some great
research facilities in India.

191
00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:46,260
Where are you going
with this, Leonard?

192
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:50,010
Well, I'm just saying, you know,
I don't have any real ties here,

193
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:53,230
so if I were to move to New
Delhi, we could, you know—

194
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:56,100
go out.

195
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,740
Leonard, didn't we have this
conversation five years ago?

196
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:00,700
Well, yes, but...

197
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:01,940
things have changed.

198
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:03,540
You know, you're older,
I'm older—

199
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,730
Look, no more
superhero bed sheets.

200
00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:07,190
Sweetheart,

201
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,200
just because we have fun when
I come to town doesn't mean

202
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,820
I want to have a
serious relationship.

203
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:13,780
It doesn't?

204
00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:15,190
Mm-mm.

205
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:18,460
And besides, I could never bring
a white boy home to my parents.

206
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,520
They'd have a cow.

207
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:23,160
Which is a much
bigger deal in India.

208
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,600
I'm not that white.

209
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,660
My great-great-grandmother
was half Cherokee.

210
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:30,730
I know that's not the right kind
of Indian, but it is something.

211
00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:32,440
You're funny.

212
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,420
Leonard?

213
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,310
What?

214
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:39,910
I heard a woman laughing.

215
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:44,310
Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to
see if I could laugh as a woman.

216
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,950
Oh! Well, good job.
Quite convincing.

217
00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:51,420
I smell perfume.

218
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:52,490
Air freshener.

219
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:56,060
And is that lipstick
on your cheek and neck?

220
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:57,390
Rash. That's a bad rash.

221
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,000
My sympathies.

222
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,500
I'm no stranger to the crimson
scourge that is dermatitis.

223
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,500
Can I interest you
in a topical steroid

224
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,470
from my lotion and
unguent collection?

225
00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:11,480
Uh, yeah, yeah,
that sounds great.

226
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,640
Very well. I'm sure
I can find something

227
00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:15,380
that will help
you ditch that itch.

228
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,520
Okay, he's in the
bathroom. Let's go.

229
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,190
Do you prefer
ointment or cream?

230
00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:28,590
Cream.

231
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:29,930
With or without a numbing agent?

232
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:30,930
Without.

233
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,330
Really, Leonard?

234
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:35,000
There are no heroes when
it comes to dermatitis.

235
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,100
Fine. With.

236
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,940
Prescription or
non-prescription strength?

237
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:40,370
Use your best judgment.

238
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:45,140
Well, I think I have a
nice 2009 AnaMantle HC.

239
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:48,550
It's usually indicated for
acutely inflamed hemorrhoids,

240
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:52,920
but it also goes nicely
with non-mucosal body parts.

241
00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:54,950
Sounds great.

242
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,590
Excellent choice.

243
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,960
Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry.

244
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:03,980
Come on, come on, come on.

245
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,130
Priya?

246
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,700
Good morning, Sheldon.

247
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:14,200
For shame, Leonard, for shame.

248
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,370
And to think,

249
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:18,530
I was ready to waste

250
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:22,550
the last of my good
hemorrhoid cream on you.

251
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,440
Making pretty
good time, huh?

252
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:34,950
Is that really what you want
to talk about, Leonard?

253
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:36,400
No.

254
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,820
What do you want to talk about?

255
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:38,970
Please don't tell anyone

256
00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,440
I spent the night
with Raj's sister.

257
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,440
There it is.

258
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,310
What if someone asks?

259
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:47,910
No one's going to ask if I spent
the night with Raj's sister.

260
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:52,020
Perhaps, but they might ask me
something else.

261
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,350
Like what?
Like

262
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:57,870
"Has Leonard betrayed any
of his friends recently?"

263
00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:00,020
Priya and I are both adults.

264
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:01,730
I didn't betray Raj.

265
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:05,300
In fact, you did,
but I was referring to Howard.

266
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,360
What are you talking about?

267
00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:08,350
April 12, 2005.

268
00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:10,440
Bob's Big Boy,
Toluca Lake.

269
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,040
Raj had just introduced us
to Priya for the first time.

270
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,180
She was enjoying the sweet taste
of Hindu rebellion

271
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,940
in the form of a Bob's
Super Big Boy hamburger.

272
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,210
In order
to preserve

273
00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:24,420
your friendship, you and Howard
made a pinky swear

274
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,250
that neither of you
would attempt to woo her.

275
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,950
I had a patty melt.

276
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,820
Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard.

277
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,760
And Raj.
All right, and Raj.

278
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,410
And me.

279
00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:37,160
You?

280
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,750
Violation of the
Roommate Agreement's

281
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:41,170
overnight guest
notification clause.

282
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:44,040
Okay, fine,
I-I'm a horrible human being.

283
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,140
I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.

284
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,840
You're far too short
to be Darth Vader.

285
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,680
At best you might be
a turncoat Ewok.

286
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,080
My point is: Priya's gone
and it would be much better

287
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,770
if no one else found out
about us.

288
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,650
You mean you want me
to keep a secret?

289
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,690
Yes.

290
00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:04,360
You know I can't
keep a secret.

291
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,420
You can if you try.

292
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:06,660
Think about
it this way:

293
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,560
um, if I were Batman
and you were Alfred,

294
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,500
you'd keep that
secret, right?

295
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,280
Why do you get
to be Batman?

296
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,420
Because Batman has the secret.

297
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,250
Alfred has secrets, too.

298
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,840
Like what?
Alfred knows

299
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,140
that Barbara Gordon
is Batgirl.

300
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,620
Which I've now just
told to Batman.

301
00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,960
See, I cannot
keep a secret.

302
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,180
Ta-dah!

303
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,220
What?

304
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,650
Ta-dah.

305
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:35,590
It's short for...

306
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,190
Kind of busy here, Sheldon.

307
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:41,530
I know,
that's why I shortened it.

308
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,060
What do you want?

309
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:48,770
I came to go over your alibi
for last night.

310
00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:50,200
What alibi?

311
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,140
You've asked me

312
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:53,470
to lie on your behalf,
and as you know,

313
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:56,470
I am deeply uncomfortable
with impromptu dishonesty,

314
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:57,610
so I've provided you

315
00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:59,810
with an ironclad alibi.

316
00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:02,480
You couldn't have spent
last night with Priya

317
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,550
because you were
with another woman.

318
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:06,780
Oh, I'm so sure
I'm gonna regret this,

319
00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:09,890
but who was I with?

320
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,990
The fun-loving and morally loose
Miss Maggie McGarry.

321
00:14:13,990 --> 00:14:15,430
Oh, God.

322
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:18,530
You met her at Pasadena's most
popular Irish watering hole,

323
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:21,970
Lucky Baldwin's, where Maggie
spends her nights tending bar

324
00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:25,170
with a head full of curls
and a heart full of dreams.

325
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:29,270
"Leonard, call me if you
are interested in coitus.

326
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:32,910
Sincerely,
Maggie McGarry."

327
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,200
And if anyone were

328
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:39,120
to actually call that number,
they will hear this.

329
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,220
Top of the morning to you.

330
00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:43,390
You've reached Maggie McGarry.

331
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:48,760
Leave a message
after the wee little beep.

332
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:51,160
It's pretty convincing, huh?

333
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,430
That wasn't even
a real person.

334
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:55,680
And here is
the clincher:

335
00:14:55,680 --> 00:15:00,340
a lock of Maggie's
flaming auburn hair.

336
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:01,610
Where'd you get that?

337
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:04,410
From an orangutan
in the primate lab.

338
00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:05,510
An orangutan?

339
00:15:05,510 --> 00:15:06,390
Well, no one's going

340
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,610
to run a DNA test
on it, Leonard.

341
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:10,680
Honestly, you overthink
everything.

342
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,990
Sheldon, I don't need an alibi.

343
00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:15,750
Nobody's going to ask
about last night

344
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:18,190
as long as you just
zip your lip.

345
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:22,790
Thank you.

346
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,130
Now, don't worry,
everything is going to be fine.

347
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,040
Hey.

348
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,310
Hey, Leonard, will you
please tell Howard

349
00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:43,450
my sister has never
been attracted to him?

350
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,280
Come on, Raj,

351
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,780
how am I supposed to know

352
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:50,020
who she is attracted to
or was attracted to

353
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:54,660
or who she might be
attracted to in the future?

354
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:57,300
And I have nothing
to contribute

355
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:00,160
to this conversation.

356
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:03,170
Because I, too,
know absolutely nothing

357
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:06,240
about Priya's preferences
in male companionship.

358
00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:09,740
And with that,
I will re-zip my lip.

359
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,940
Hey, so what did
you guys think

360
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:14,960
of the new episode
of Caprica last night?

361
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:15,950
I didn't see it.

362
00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:16,880
Didn't see it?

363
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,480
What were you doing?

364
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,420
Uh, I was out.

365
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,220
What, on Caprica night?

366
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,530
Yeah, I, uh, went
for a drink.

367
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:28,760
Really, you?

368
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,530
Where, w-where'd
you go?

369
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,760
To, uh...

370
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,710
Lucky Baldwin's.

371
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:45,610
Oh, I've heard
of that place.

372
00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:49,350
Isn't that Pasadena's
favorite Irish watering hole?

373
00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,120
Yes.

374
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,420
Did you meet

375
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,680
anyone interesting there,

376
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:57,920
perhaps a promiscuous,
redheaded barmaid?

377
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,920
As a matter of fact...
I-I-I-I-I can't, I can't,

378
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:01,360
I can't do it.

379
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,930
Sure you can, you're doing
fine, it's very believable.

380
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:07,400
I'm sorry, Raj,
but the truth is,

381
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,270
I was with Priya
last night.

382
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:10,470
Don't listen to him.

383
00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:12,240
He's still light-headed
from all the Irish whiskey

384
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,110
and pickled eggs
in his system.

385
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,040
What were you doing
with Priya?

386
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,070
I believe they engaged
in coitus,

387
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,880
but more
importantly,

388
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,650
if Leonard had not abandoned
his story,

389
00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:23,080
would you have found it
plausible?

390
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,620
You slept with my sister?

391
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:25,550
Yeah.

392
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,790
How could you?
We had a pact.

393
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:29,590
Excuse me, I think
"How could you? She's my sister"

394
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,790
takes precedence over
a five-year-old pinky swear.

395
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,210
May I point out,

396
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,460
in a parallel universe,
your friends are saying

397
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:39,100
"Maggie McGarry—
she sounds lovely."

398
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,570
Look, I-I admit it, I may
have crossed a line here,

399
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:46,140
but come on, Raj, your
sister is a grown woman,

400
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:49,040
and to her, I'm a forbidden
piece of white chocolate.

401
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,140
I don't believe it.

402
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,530
This is a terrible
betrayal of my trust.

403
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,200
No, w-w-would it
help if I told you

404
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,150
that I offered her my heart,
and she kind of stomped on it?

405
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:01,920
How hard did she stomp?

406
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,920
Very hard.

407
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,240
Okay, I'm good.

408
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:10,290
Well, Raj,

409
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,700
I just want to say that I'd
never betray your trust.

410
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,250
Unlike Leonard,
I respect you.

411
00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:17,270
Really?

412
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,920
Mm-hmm.

413
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,070
Was it out of respect
that you didn't tell Raj

414
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,710
about the time you dropped
his iPhone in a urinal?

415
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,850
Dude, I put that thing
on my face!

416
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:31,720
I think a more amusing
violation of Raj's trust

417
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,350
is when Howard convinced him
that foreigners give presents

418
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:37,270
to Americans
on Thanksgiving.

419
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,690
Hey, I didn't see
you giving back

420
00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:42,530
your Snoopy
snow cone maker.

421
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,660
That was all a lie?

422
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,800
This year's gifts
are already wrapped.

423
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,530
And as long as we're talking
about betraying our friends,

424
00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:51,000
how about the month Sheldon
spent grinding up insects

425
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,740
and mixing them
into Leonard's food?

426
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,110
Well, excuse me.

427
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,710
That was not a betrayal.

428
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:57,840
That was an experiment
to determine

429
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,050
at what concentration
food starts tasting "mothy."

430
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:05,220
You put moths in my food?

431
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:09,090
For science.

432
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:11,560
I can't believe you kissed
my sister with moth mouth.

433
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,730
Well, I can't believe you
used Sheldon's toothbrush.

434
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:18,030
You used my toothbrush?

435
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:20,930
Not the brush part,
just the little rubber thing

436
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:24,770
to pick food from my teeth
and massage my gums.

437
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:33,440
Okay, I-I think
it's safe to say

438
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,950
that we've all done
some things

439
00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:36,710
we're not
particularly proud of.

440
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:38,880
But come on,
we're friends.

441
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,850
Friends overlook
each other's minor lapses.

442
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,860
For the record, Howard, I'm
sorry that I broke our pact.

443
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:49,180
Thank you.

444
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:52,010
And I'm sorry
about your phone

445
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,830
and Thanksgiving.

446
00:19:53,830 --> 00:19:55,200
And while we're at it,

447
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,640
you don't have to wash our
clothes on the Fourth of July.

448
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,190
As long as we're apologizing,

449
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:04,440
Sheldon, I'm, I'm sorry
I used your toothbrush.

450
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,680
And I'm sorry...

451
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,180
but that behavior
is beyond the pale

452
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:09,850
and cannot be tolerated.

453
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,980
We are no longer friends.

454
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:16,020
I got you a talking Thomas the
Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.

455
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:18,990
With real puffing smoke?

456
00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:20,220
Yes.

457
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:22,540
All right.

458
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,560
But I'm watching you.

459
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,290
Hey, you've got Snoopy out.

460
00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:42,500
Can I have a snow cone?

461
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,370
Well, sure.

462
00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:48,290
This is pretty good.

463
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,580
What flavor is this?

464
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,480
Guess.

465
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,080
Papaya?
No.

466
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,720
Guava?
You're so close.

467
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,720
I give up.

468
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,120
Mango caterpillar.

469
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:03,380
What are
you doing?

470
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:07,490
You said you
liked it.

471
00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:10,490
— Sync, corrected by elderman —
— for www.addic7ed.com —

472
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,040
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —