1
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,274
Clarify something for me.

2
00:00:14,274 --> 00:00:15,305
Isn't the point

3
00:00:15,305 --> 00:00:17,377
of a communal meal

4
00:00:17,377 --> 00:00:20,010
the exchange of ideas
and opinions?

5
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,753
An opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?

6
00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:24,094
It is.

7
00:00:24,094 --> 00:00:25,956
You just kind of put
a damper on things

8
00:00:25,956 --> 00:00:27,597
when you said,
"The next person I see talking

9
00:00:27,597 --> 00:00:30,170
with food in their mouth
will be put to death."

10
00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:33,443
Well, we could argue about
who said what all night long,

11
00:00:33,443 --> 00:00:36,246
but to set things back
on course,

12
00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:38,588
I will propose
a new topic of conversation.

13
00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:40,620
Great.

14
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,693
What is the best number?

15
00:00:42,693 --> 00:00:46,496
By the way, there's only
one correct answer.

16
00:00:46,506 --> 00:00:50,310
5,318,008?

17
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:51,511
Wrong.

18
00:00:52,382 --> 00:00:55,655
The best number is 73.

19
00:00:57,828 --> 00:00:59,960
You're probably wondering why.

20
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,461
No. Uh-uh.
We're good.

21
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,884
73 is the 21st prime number.

22
00:01:03,884 --> 00:01:07,878
Its mirror, 37, is the 12th,
and its mirror, 21,

23
00:01:07,878 --> 00:01:09,579
is the product of multiplying—

24
00:01:09,579 --> 00:01:12,953
hang on to your hats—
seven and three.

25
00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:16,957
Eh? Eh? Did I lie?

26
00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:17,998
We get it.

27
00:01:17,998 --> 00:01:20,871
73 is the Chuck Norris
of numbers.

28
00:01:20,871 --> 00:01:23,573
Chuck Norris wishes.

29
00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:25,996
In binary 73 is a palindrome:

30
00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:28,989
"one-zero-zero-
one-zero-zero-one"

31
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:32,462
which backwards is "one-zero-
zero-one-zero-zero-one"--

32
00:01:32,462 --> 00:01:33,834
exactly the same.

33
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:38,238
All Chuck Norris backwards
gets you is: "Sirron Kcuhc."

34
00:01:38,238 --> 00:01:40,270
Just for the record,

35
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,834
when you enter 5,318,008
on a calculator,

36
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,757
upside-down it spells "boobies"

37
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,131
Remember when you were wondering

38
00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:53,303
why the girls didn't
want to eat with us tonight?

39
00:01:53,303 --> 00:01:55,305
Yeah, I get it now.

40
00:01:56,446 --> 00:01:58,949
I love your little
heart locket, Bernadette.

41
00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,280
Oh, thanks.

42
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,581
Howard gave it to me.

43
00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:02,923
It's the cutest thing.

44
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,654
Every time I have
dinner with his mom,

45
00:02:04,654 --> 00:02:06,626
the next day I get jewelry.

46
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,700
Did you know that the iconic
Valentine's heart shape

47
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,102
is not actually based
on the shape of a human heart,

48
00:02:12,102 --> 00:02:13,744
but rather on the shape
of the buttocks

49
00:02:13,744 --> 00:02:15,475
of a female bending over?

50
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:20,250
Oh, so I spent seventh grade

51
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:22,823
dotting my I's
with little asses?

52
00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:24,995
Cool.

53
00:02:24,995 --> 00:02:28,068
Hey, Penny, how's it going?

54
00:02:28,068 --> 00:02:29,970
Hey, Zack,
what are you doing here?

55
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,012
My dad's company prints
the menus for this place.

56
00:02:32,012 --> 00:02:33,613
I'm just dropping off
some new ones laminated.

57
00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:36,356
Makes 'em easier to clean
if people throw up on 'em.

58
00:02:37,527 --> 00:02:38,859
Guess how I got the idea?

59
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,530
Yeah, I got it, I got it.

60
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:44,004
Uh, Zack, these are
my friends Bernadette and Amy.

61
00:02:44,004 --> 00:02:45,405
- Hi.
- Hey.

62
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:46,787
Hoo.

63
00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:51,421
Okay, well, it was
good to see you.

64
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,353
Yeah, you, too.

65
00:02:53,353 --> 00:02:55,195
He's really cute.
How do you know him?

66
00:02:55,195 --> 00:02:56,807
Oh, we went out
a couple of times.

67
00:02:56,817 --> 00:02:58,899
I'm often flummoxed
by current slang.

68
00:02:58,899 --> 00:03:01,641
Does "went out" mean
"had intercourse"?

69
00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,824
Yes.
No, no.

70
00:03:03,824 --> 00:03:06,346
But in this case, yes.

71
00:03:06,346 --> 00:03:07,848
Interesting.

72
00:03:07,848 --> 00:03:09,149
And was it not satisfactory?

73
00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:10,691
No, it was great.

74
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,563
He just didn't really challenge
me on an intellectual level.

75
00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:17,237
Couldn't you just fool around
with him and then listen to NPR?

76
00:03:17,237 --> 00:03:21,712
Wouldn't help. Zack
can't even spell NPR.

77
00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:23,814
It's what I do with Howard.

78
00:03:23,814 --> 00:03:25,515
I'm much smarter than he is.

79
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:28,128
But it's important
to protect his manhood.

80
00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:32,002
Hoo.

81
00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:34,534
What's the matter?

82
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:36,226
I'm suddenly feeling flushed.

83
00:03:36,226 --> 00:03:39,449
My heart rate is elevated,
my palms are clammy,

84
00:03:39,449 --> 00:03:40,680
my mouth is dry.

85
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,154
In addition, I keep
involuntarily saying "hoo."

86
00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:47,868
Oh, we know what's
causing that, don't we?

87
00:03:47,868 --> 00:03:49,529
It's no mystery.

88
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,041
I obviously have the flu

89
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:53,503
coupled with sudden-onset
Tourette's syndrome.

90
00:04:21,722 --> 00:04:23,824
Did you hear about the
accident at the bio lab?

91
00:04:23,924 --> 00:04:24,835
No.
What happened?

92
00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:27,728
They were injecting rats
with radioactive isotopes

93
00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:29,669
and one of the techs got bit.

94
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,172
Did he get superpowers?

95
00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:37,718
No, he got five stitches
and a tetanus shot.

96
00:04:37,718 --> 00:04:40,520
Oh. Well, that's disappointing.

97
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,092
Why?

98
00:04:42,092 --> 00:04:44,164
Well, you get bit by a
radioactive animal in a lab,

99
00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:46,797
you kind of want to turn
into a superhero.

100
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:50,010
Yeah, but who'd want
to become Rat-Man?

101
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:52,312
Who wouldn't?

102
00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:55,856
You could zip through
a maze in nothing flat,

103
00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:57,687
squeeze through
really small holes,

104
00:04:57,687 --> 00:05:00,731
and shut down restaurants
in a single bound.

105
00:05:00,731 --> 00:05:02,803
And the best part is,
if I were Rat-Man,

106
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,075
you could be my
sidekick, Mouse Boy.

107
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,782
Mouse Boy?

108
00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:13,223
You don't like "Mouse Boy"?

109
00:05:13,223 --> 00:05:15,325
How about "Kid Vermin"?

110
00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:17,297
First of all,
if we had superpowers,

111
00:05:17,297 --> 00:05:19,970
I wouldn't be the sidekick.
You'd be the sidekick.

112
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:22,803
Rat-Man is nobody's sidekick.

113
00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:24,464
Leonard, settle this.

114
00:05:24,464 --> 00:05:26,717
Of the two of us, who's
the obvious sidekick?

115
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,118
Yeah, Leonard, who?

116
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:34,664
12 years after high school,
and I'm still at the nerd table.

117
00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:42,542
Aren't you slicing that
man's brain a little too thin?

118
00:05:47,728 --> 00:05:49,429
It's too thin if I were making

119
00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,591
a foot-long brain sandwich
at Quiznos.

120
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:56,376
For examination under a two-
photon microscope, it's fine.

121
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,222
Well, you're the expert.

122
00:06:02,222 --> 00:06:06,226
If the correct way to do it
is the wrong way, then I yield.

123
00:06:06,226 --> 00:06:07,427
Very well.

124
00:06:07,427 --> 00:06:09,679
If you die and donate
your body to science,

125
00:06:09,679 --> 00:06:11,732
I promise to slice your brain
like Canadian bacon.

126
00:06:11,742 --> 00:06:13,704
Thank you.

127
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:15,305
Now, if you'll
excuse me,

128
00:06:15,315 --> 00:06:18,128
I have to take my temperature.

129
00:06:18,138 --> 00:06:20,650
Are you monitoring
your circadian rhythms

130
00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:23,864
in order to identify your periods
of maximum mental acuity?

131
00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:25,696
I did that one summer.

132
00:06:25,696 --> 00:06:27,497
Ah, youth.

133
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:31,371
No, I experienced some
distressing symptoms last night,

134
00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:33,283
so I'm checking
my vital signs every hour.

135
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,315
I'd be happy to create a chart

136
00:06:35,315 --> 00:06:38,018
and participate in a
differential diagnosis.

137
00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:40,090
Oh, that sounds like fun.

138
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,604
All right.

139
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,206
What were the symptoms?

140
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:50,110
Elevated heart rate,
moist palms, dry mouth

141
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,083
and localized
vascular throbbing.

142
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:57,758
Localized to what region?

143
00:06:57,758 --> 00:07:01,431
Ears and genitalia.

144
00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:03,673
Interesting.

145
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,376
Not body parts
that usually team up.

146
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:11,151
What about
environmental factors?

147
00:07:11,151 --> 00:07:13,063
Describe the scene for me.

148
00:07:13,063 --> 00:07:15,325
I was sitting in a restaurant
with Penny and Bernadette,

149
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,198
drinking water— carbonated
as it was a special occasion.

150
00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:23,844
Penny's friend Zack stopped by
and said hello and I said "hoo."

151
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,045
Who?

152
00:07:25,055 --> 00:07:26,356
Zack.

153
00:07:26,356 --> 00:07:28,588
Then why did you ask?

154
00:07:28,588 --> 00:07:30,731
Ask what?
Who.

155
00:07:30,731 --> 00:07:32,532
Zack.

156
00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:35,635
All right, let's start over.

157
00:07:35,635 --> 00:07:37,738
What did you say
when Zack walked in?

158
00:07:37,738 --> 00:07:40,380
"Hoo."
Zack.

159
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,152
Why do you keep saying "Zack"?

160
00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:43,824
Because you keep saying "who."

161
00:07:43,824 --> 00:07:45,355
I'm not saying "hoo" now.

162
00:07:45,355 --> 00:07:46,496
I said "hoo" last night.

163
00:07:46,496 --> 00:07:48,829
And the answer was Zack,
correct?

164
00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:50,630
There was no question.

165
00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:52,442
I simply said "hoo."

166
00:07:54,614 --> 00:07:56,747
All right, I think
I have enough to go on.

167
00:07:56,747 --> 00:08:00,821
Possible explanations
for your symptoms are,

168
00:08:00,821 --> 00:08:03,123
in descending order
of likelihood:

169
00:08:03,123 --> 00:08:05,766
hyperthyroidism,
premature menopause,

170
00:08:05,766 --> 00:08:09,069
hosting an alien parasite or—

171
00:08:09,069 --> 00:08:11,411
and I only include it
for the sake of covering

172
00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:15,285
absolutely all bases—
sexual arousal.

173
00:08:17,657 --> 00:08:19,619
Where would I have picked up
an alien parasite?

174
00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:25,535
There you are.

175
00:08:25,565 --> 00:08:26,056
Oh, hey.

176
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:29,059
Let me ask you a question.
What are you most afraid of?

177
00:08:29,059 --> 00:08:30,670
I don't know. Um...

178
00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:31,872
Nuclear war.

179
00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:33,403
Accidentally being
buried alive.

180
00:08:33,403 --> 00:08:35,405
Any of those movies where
you get that phone call

181
00:08:35,405 --> 00:08:36,707
that says you're
going to die.

182
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,779
And then you do.

183
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,620
No. Something very specific

184
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,852
that we both know you,

185
00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:44,695
Rajesh Koothrappali,
are terrified of.

186
00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:47,537
Well, type two diabetes
runs in my family.

187
00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:48,668
The thought of
losing a toe...

188
00:08:48,668 --> 00:08:50,660
Spiders!
You're afraid of spiders!

189
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,173
What the heck is this?

190
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:55,615
A jar with a big spider
in it, of course.

191
00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:57,617
Bravery test.

192
00:08:57,617 --> 00:09:01,661
First one to take his hand out
is the sidekick.

193
00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:04,334
Are you crazy?

194
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,206
Perhaps.

195
00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:08,608
Are you scared?

196
00:09:08,608 --> 00:09:10,881
No. But it's a stupid test.

197
00:09:10,881 --> 00:09:13,814
Oh, really?
What if the earth was in danger

198
00:09:13,824 --> 00:09:14,975
and the only way to save it was

199
00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:17,898
to stick your hand
in a jar with a spider?

200
00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:19,429
Oh, yeah?
What if the earth was in danger

201
00:09:19,429 --> 00:09:21,001
and the only way
to save it was to take a shower

202
00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:23,633
in the locker room and let
other guys see you naked?

203
00:09:25,505 --> 00:09:27,978
Oh, come on.
That's never gonna happen.

204
00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:30,620
Put your hand
in the jar

205
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,093
or forever be revealed
as my sidekick.

206
00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:35,916
All right, I will.

207
00:09:37,768 --> 00:09:40,140
How did you get so brave
all of a sudden?

208
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,311
It's easy.

209
00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:42,713
The spider's crawling
up your arm.

210
00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:50,390
Get it off! Get it off!

211
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,662
Please, Raj!

212
00:09:54,404 --> 00:09:56,236
Please.

213
00:09:56,236 --> 00:09:57,677
Oh!

214
00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:03,453
My blood work shows
thyroid function normal.

215
00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:04,855
Cortisol levels normal.

216
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,426
How about your

217
00:10:06,426 --> 00:10:08,598
follicle-stimulating hormone
levels?

218
00:10:08,598 --> 00:10:11,371
Sheldon, I am not going
through menopause.

219
00:10:11,371 --> 00:10:13,003
Are you sure?

220
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:16,907
You said that with
the testy bark of an old biddy.

221
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:20,180
I think we need
to face the cold, hard truth:

222
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:23,954
I was sexually aroused
by Penny's friend Zack.

223
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:25,625
Hang on. I don't know

224
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,838
that we've given
the alien parasite hypothesis

225
00:10:27,838 --> 00:10:29,940
a fair shake.

226
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,011
Let's look at this logically.

227
00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:32,943
I have a stomach; I get hungry.

228
00:10:32,943 --> 00:10:36,046
I have genitals; I have the
potential for sexual arousal.

229
00:10:36,046 --> 00:10:39,019
A cross we all must bear.

230
00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:44,134
You know, in difficult
moments like this,

231
00:10:44,134 --> 00:10:47,137
I often turn to a force
greater than myself.

232
00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:48,138
Religion?

233
00:10:48,138 --> 00:10:49,339
Star Trek.

234
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,753
Did you see
Star Trek: The Motion Picture?

235
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,785
No.
Don't. It's terrible. However...

236
00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:57,287
in it, we learn that

237
00:10:57,297 --> 00:11:00,330
when Spock finds himself
drawn off the path of logic

238
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:04,204
by feelings bubbling up from his
human half, he suppresses them

239
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,977
using the Vulcan mental
discipline of Kolinar.

240
00:11:06,977 --> 00:11:09,079
Are you suggesting
we live our lives

241
00:11:09,079 --> 00:11:11,692
guided by the philosophies
found in cheap science fiction?

242
00:11:11,692 --> 00:11:13,824
"Cheap science fiction"?

243
00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:20,100
What are you doing?

244
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:26,586
Using Kolinar to suppress
my anger at that last comment.

245
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,159
Is it possible that your
concern for me at this moment

246
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:31,762
is motivated by nothing more
than simple jealousy?

247
00:11:33,163 --> 00:11:34,705
I hadn't considered that.

248
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:37,607
Give me a moment.

249
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,011
All right, I've considered it.

250
00:11:41,011 --> 00:11:43,814
And?
I reject it.

251
00:11:43,824 --> 00:11:46,757
You reject it because
you don't feel jealousy,

252
00:11:46,757 --> 00:11:48,899
or because you are
suppressing jealousy?

253
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:52,903
I think
I'll eat my lunch at home.

254
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:56,276
That's not your
lunch, Sheldon;

255
00:11:56,276 --> 00:11:59,679
those are the cadaver
brain specimens.

256
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:01,051
Oh.

257
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:03,804
As they were incorrectly sliced,

258
00:12:03,814 --> 00:12:07,027
you can see how I could
mistake them for my sashimi.

259
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:16,526
Hello.

260
00:12:16,596 --> 00:12:19,820
Hey. Isn't tomorrow
your usual laundry night?

261
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,993
The supermarket was out of
my regular fabric softener.

262
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,746
If this one under-
or over-softens,

263
00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:28,538
I'll need time
to make things right.

264
00:12:28,538 --> 00:12:30,240
That's thinking ahead.

265
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,603
The alternative would be
to think backwards.

266
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:35,215
That's just remembering.

267
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:38,228
So how's Amy?

268
00:12:38,228 --> 00:12:40,600
Amy's changed.

269
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,073
I might have to let her go.

270
00:12:43,073 --> 00:12:44,674
Oh, no. Why?

271
00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:47,407
I thought she was
a highly evolved creature

272
00:12:47,407 --> 00:12:49,519
of pure intellect, like me.

273
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,331
But recent events indicate that

274
00:12:51,331 --> 00:12:53,804
she may be a slave
to her baser urges.

275
00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:55,826
Like you.

276
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,700
Just going to
skip over that insult.

277
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,152
What insult?

278
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:05,245
Yeah. That's why
I'm going to skip over it.

279
00:13:05,245 --> 00:13:07,117
Are you saying that Amy is...

280
00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:10,120
oh, what's the
scientific word...

281
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,893
Forget science. She's horny.

282
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,887
Oh! Okay. Wow.

283
00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:20,240
It's simple biology. There's
nothing I can do about it.

284
00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:26,586
Are you sure?

285
00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:29,089
What are you suggesting?

286
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,733
I'm suggesting there
might be something

287
00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:36,176
you could do about...
Amy's urges?

288
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:42,923
It's illegal to spay
a human being.

289
00:13:45,495 --> 00:13:47,728
Yeah. That's not
what I had in mind.

290
00:13:47,728 --> 00:13:49,199
Oh.

291
00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:51,802
Oh!

292
00:13:51,802 --> 00:13:54,474
You mean...
something I could do.

293
00:13:54,474 --> 00:13:55,545
Exactly.

294
00:13:55,545 --> 00:14:00,390
Well, I was hoping
to avoid this.

295
00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:03,393
But I might as well
get it over with.

296
00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:05,595
Thank you, Penny.

297
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,838
I'll let you
know what happens.

298
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:14,414
Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.

299
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:19,029
Yes. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

300
00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,600
Is this the Zack Johnson

301
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,473
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny?

302
00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:27,477
Sorry to bother you.

303
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:36,426
Hello. I'm looking
for a Zack Johnson

304
00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:39,970
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny.

305
00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:42,072
Coitus. It means intercourse.

306
00:14:42,072 --> 00:14:45,746
And I have a feeling I'm
speaking to the right Zack.

307
00:14:45,746 --> 00:14:47,988
This is Sheldon Cooper.

308
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,860
Fine. Shelly.

309
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:53,393
Yes, that does
sound like a girl's name.

310
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,365
No, it doesn't bother me.

311
00:14:55,365 --> 00:14:58,308
Yes, "Smelly Shelly"
does bother me.

312
00:14:58,308 --> 00:14:59,710
Let me tell you why I'm calling.

313
00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:01,712
I'd like to know
if you'd be interested

314
00:15:01,712 --> 00:15:05,355
in having sex
with Amy Farrah Fowler.

315
00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:07,758
Amy Farrah Fowler.

316
00:15:07,758 --> 00:15:10,160
Yes, that is a girl's name.

317
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,954
Good grief. It's like trying
to talk to a dolphin.

318
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,107
Really?

319
00:15:17,107 --> 00:15:20,380
This is going to decide who's
the hero and who's the sidekick?

320
00:15:29,539 --> 00:15:30,640
You got a better idea?

321
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:35,075
Every idea is better
than this idea.

322
00:15:35,075 --> 00:15:36,276
Ding!

323
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:39,119
Wait. What the hell is "ding"?
It's a bell.

324
00:15:39,119 --> 00:15:40,721
I don't think this
kind of wrestling has a bell.

325
00:15:40,721 --> 00:15:42,562
Fine. How do you
want to start?

326
00:15:42,562 --> 00:15:44,695
I say, uh, how about
one, two, three, go?

327
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:47,337
One-two-three-go?
That's for babies.

328
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:49,369
Okay, how about, uh...

329
00:15:49,379 --> 00:15:50,811
On your mark, get set, go?

330
00:15:50,811 --> 00:15:52,162
That's for a footrace.
If you want to race,

331
00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:53,483
we have to go outside.

332
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,286
No, it's chilly outside.
Didn't bring my jacket.

333
00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,009
Oh, for crying out loud.

334
00:15:59,009 --> 00:16:01,331
What kind of superhero
needs a jacket?

335
00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:03,724
What kind of superhero says,
"Dibs on the red tights!

336
00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:05,435
Dibs on the red tights!"

337
00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:08,408
All right, how about this?
Ready, wrestle.

338
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:11,021
Wait. Are we starting now? Or
is that what you're going to say

339
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,322
when we do start, or...
We're starting now!

340
00:16:12,322 --> 00:16:14,494
Don't yell at me!

341
00:16:21,742 --> 00:16:24,975
Suppose there are worse ways
to spend a Friday night.

342
00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:29,019
None come to mind.

343
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:36,636
Look at this stamp.
On what authority

344
00:16:36,636 --> 00:16:40,040
are they permitted to
mutilate patrons as they enter?

345
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,092
I'm sure it'll wash off.

346
00:16:42,092 --> 00:16:43,714
Little comfort tonight.

347
00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:45,786
I look like a Hell's Angel.

348
00:16:47,157 --> 00:16:49,259
There's Zack.

349
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,932
Are you sure this is
what you want to do?

350
00:16:51,932 --> 00:16:53,834
It's not what I want to do;

351
00:16:53,834 --> 00:16:56,707
it's what I have to do.

352
00:16:56,707 --> 00:16:59,810
Go, Amy Farrah Fowler.

353
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,982
Follow your endocrine system.

354
00:17:03,053 --> 00:17:04,654
Thank you, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.

355
00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:06,126
Please don't drag this out.

356
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:13,643
This is never going to come off.

357
00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:16,116
Excuse me?

358
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,919
Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler.
We met the other night.

359
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:22,162
I have spent my life in
pursuit of pure knowledge.

360
00:17:22,162 --> 00:17:23,894
Until I met you,
my decisions

361
00:17:23,894 --> 00:17:25,796
were founded in
logic and reason.

362
00:17:25,806 --> 00:17:29,269
And yet here I stand before you,
130 pounds of raging estrogen,

363
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,611
longing to grab hold
of your gluteus maximus

364
00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:33,113
and make Shakespeare's
metaphorical

365
00:17:33,113 --> 00:17:36,056
beast with two backs.

366
00:17:37,537 --> 00:17:39,860
My gluteus what?

367
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,202
On the other hand,

368
00:17:42,202 --> 00:17:44,835
as I look at the blank, ape-like
expression on your face,

369
00:17:44,835 --> 00:17:47,778
I have decided to adopt the
Vulcan practice of Kolinar.

370
00:17:48,879 --> 00:17:51,351
Good-bye, Zack.
Bye.

371
00:17:51,351 --> 00:17:53,573
Hoo.

372
00:17:57,027 --> 00:17:59,269
That should hold me for a while.

373
00:18:09,619 --> 00:18:10,921
I'm legally obligated
to inform you

374
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:15,285
that I took a karate lesson
when I was 11.

375
00:18:15,285 --> 00:18:17,207
I'd be a regular ninja by now

376
00:18:17,207 --> 00:18:18,959
if my mom could've
arranged a carpool.

377
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,631
Oh, yeah?

378
00:18:21,631 --> 00:18:23,754
Well, I've been taking
Pilates class at the rec center,

379
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,636
and my abs look like
sections of a Hershey bar.

380
00:18:26,636 --> 00:18:28,678
Oh, yeah? Won't matter,
you're going down!

381
00:18:28,678 --> 00:18:30,430
No, uh-uh, you're going down!

382
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:32,462
If anybody's going to go down,
it's going to be you.

383
00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:37,247
Fellas. It's been 30 minutes.
Nobody's touched each other.

384
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:42,452
I'm glad you decided to reject
your animal hindbrain

385
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:45,095
and return to the
realm of pure intellect.

386
00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:47,267
As am I.

387
00:18:49,469 --> 00:18:51,021
What are you doing?

388
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,193
An experiment.

389
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,747
Nope. Nothing.
Never mind.

390
00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:10,560
You realize you can't win.

391
00:19:11,031 --> 00:19:13,373
I prefer to think
that I can't lose.

392
00:19:17,217 --> 00:19:18,278
You're wrong.

393
00:19:18,278 --> 00:19:19,519
It's only a matter of time

394
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:23,453
before you fall into
Rat-Man's rat trap.

395
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,925
You pathetic fool!

396
00:19:24,925 --> 00:19:27,898
If there were a rat-catcher,
wouldn't it catch Rat-Man?

397
00:19:27,898 --> 00:19:30,300
Just because I didn't
express myself well

398
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:32,693
doesn't mean my
underlying point was invalid!

399
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,494
You bloviating buffoon!

400
00:19:34,494 --> 00:19:36,987
You narcissistic nincompoop!

401
00:19:36,987 --> 00:19:38,658
You crimson coward!

402
00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:40,060
Oh, Leonard, wake up,

403
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,842
you're missing some very
excellent superhero quips.

404
00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:46,827
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==

405
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:49,830
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —