1 00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:04,600 Good evening. 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,630 I'm your guest lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 3 00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:16,590 I was expecting applause, 4 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:20,380 but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate. 5 00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:23,040 I agreed to speak to you this evening, 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,210 because I was told that you're the best and the brightest 7 00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:28,450 of this university's doctoral candidates. 8 00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:30,430 Hmm. Of course, that's like saying 9 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,740 you are the most important electron in a hydrogen atom. 10 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,160 'Cause, you see, 11 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:43,530 there's only one electron in a hydrogen atom. 12 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,840 Best and brightest, my sweet patootie. 13 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,500 All right, let's begin. 14 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,920 Show of hands, who here is familiar 15 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,580 with the concept of topological insulators? 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,080 Don't kid yourselves. 17 00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:02,050 I found another tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture. 18 00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:04,890 "Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject 19 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:08,390 "and managed to make it completely insufferable. 20 00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:11,390 Plus, he looks like a giant insect." 21 00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:13,590 Look. Listen to this one. 22 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:17,200 "Does Einstein's theory explain why time flies 23 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,330 "when you're having fun, 24 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,400 "but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, 25 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,070 it falls out of the sky, dead?" 26 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,570 Ooh, somebody took pictures 27 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:27,440 and uploaded them to their Flickr account. 28 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,840 Wow. 29 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,580 How do you get an entire lecture hall 30 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:32,910 to flip you off at the same time? 31 00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:34,550 Apparently, if you're Sheldon, 32 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:37,020 all you need to do is turn your back. 33 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:39,790 Hey, Leonard, is your wi-fi down? 34 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:40,750 I can't get on. 35 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,220 Oh, Sheldon changed the password. 36 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:44,460 It's now "Penny is a freeloader." 37 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:46,830 No spaces. 38 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,860 Thanks. What are you guys doing? 39 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,630 Sheldon gave a lecture at the university tonight. 40 00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:51,900 We're reading the reviews. 41 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,230 Oh. How'd he do? 42 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,370 Well, picture the Hindenburg meets Chernobyl 43 00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:57,940 meets Three Mile Island meets Tron 2. 44 00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:00,160 That bad, huh? 45 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,490 Read this woman's tweet. 46 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,910 "Listening to Dr. Cooper 47 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:07,410 has made me want to start cutting myself again" 48 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,120 Yeah. 49 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:13,190 Good evening, Leonard, Howard, Raj, 50 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,490 freeloader. 51 00:02:15,490 --> 00:02:18,490 So, how'd the lecture go? 52 00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:21,300 In a word, triumphant. 53 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,630 Really? Triumphant? 54 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,570 Oh, yes, you should have seen those young people. 55 00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:29,640 Thirsty for knowledge, drinking in my wisdom. 56 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,770 I may have changed a few lives today. 57 00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:36,940 Oh, please let me tell him. 58 00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,750 I don't know, I kind of promised Howard. 59 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:40,730 Tell me what? 60 00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:42,320 Actually, we should all share the moment. 61 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,750 Raj, if you would. 62 00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:49,120 Oh, tweets about my lecture. 63 00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:54,330 Hmm... 64 00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:56,960 That's rather unfair. 65 00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,530 That's downright cruel. 66 00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:02,000 Plus, insects have six legs. 67 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,010 Yeah, I'm not familiar with the acronym "KMN" 68 00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:09,580 From the context, we think it means "kill me now." 69 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:16,550 Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. 70 00:03:16,550 --> 00:03:18,290 I think I'll turn in. 71 00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,620 I didn't want to teach those poopy heads, anyway. 72 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,800 FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said 73 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,900 just before he started building the Death Star. 74 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,760 Sheldon still moping? 75 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,080 Yeah, it's weird. Even though he didn't want 76 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,480 to give the lecture in the first place, 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,820 being rejected by those students really hit him hard. 78 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,270 I know the feeling. 79 00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:08,160 It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar 80 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,760 and then having no one hit on you. 81 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:21,370 It-It happened to a friend of mine. 82 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:23,540 Are you guys doing okay? 83 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:24,940 Leonard and I are fine, 84 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:27,780 but I think Raj needs to meet a girl really soon. 85 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,840 Well, that shouldn't be too hard. 86 00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:30,950 He's such a cutie. 87 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,050 Thank you, but "cute" is for bunnies. 88 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:35,020 I want to be something with sex appeal, 89 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:38,190 like... like a labradoodle. 90 00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:40,990 Labradoodle? 91 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:44,930 We might be starting to zero in on your problem. 92 00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,690 Don't you listen to them. 93 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,400 You've got plenty of sex appeal. 94 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,530 You really think so? 95 00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:50,780 Yeah. You're a hottie. 96 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:54,600 Well, thanks, Bernadette. 97 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,420 And just for the record, 98 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:58,110 labradoodles are hypo-allergenic, 99 00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:01,610 which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander. 100 00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,580 AMY So, what do you think? 101 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,620 It's a charming illusion, but it does not cheer me up. 102 00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,790 Not even when I do this? 103 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,900 No. 104 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:27,900 Well, that was the last arrow in my quiver of whimsy. 105 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:30,200 Do you realize that teaching is the first thing 106 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:32,240 I've failed at since my ill-fated attempt 107 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,410 to complete a chin-up in March of 1989? 108 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:37,450 If this humiliating experience 109 00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,550 is really troubling you, 110 00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:40,080 there are things we could do about it. 111 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,720 For instance? 112 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,550 Well, the first thing that comes to mind 113 00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:44,950 is isolating the part of your brain 114 00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:48,460 where the memory is stored and destroying it with a laser. 115 00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:50,760 Hmm, no. 116 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,290 One slip of the hand, 117 00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:54,500 and suddenly I'm sitting in the Engineering Department, 118 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,100 building doodads with Wolowitz. 119 00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,800 All right. 120 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,240 Have you considered improving your socialization skills, 121 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,470 thus allowing you 122 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:04,070 to communicate more effectively with other people? 123 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:05,640 Isn't that their burden? 124 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,640 I'm the one with something interesting to say. 125 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,180 Fair enough, but in its essence, 126 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:12,610 teaching is a performance art. 127 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:14,120 In the classroom paradigm, 128 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,820 the teacher has the responsibility to communicate, 129 00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,850 as well as entertain and engage. 130 00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:22,260 I sense that you're trying to slow-walk me to an epiphany. 131 00:06:22,260 --> 00:06:24,160 Would you mind very much jumping to it? 132 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,660 Perhaps you should consider taking acting lessons. 133 00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:29,560 Acting lessons. 134 00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:31,530 Interesting. 135 00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:34,100 It might help if I could act as though I care 136 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:37,840 about my students and whether or not they learn. 137 00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:41,140 Penny. 138 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:44,200 Penny. Penny. 139 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,230 What? 140 00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:49,150 You're an "actress," correct? 141 00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:51,790 I'm not an "actress." 142 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,190 I'm an actress. 143 00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:55,490 All right. 144 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,830 You're an actress. 145 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,390 I need you to teach me. 146 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,800 You want an acting lesson? 147 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,030 Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft. 148 00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:07,840 Okay, where is this coming from? 149 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,710 It has been suggested to me that acting techniques 150 00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:13,710 could improve my lecturing, at which, 151 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:16,040 if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, 152 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,950 I "suck the big one." 153 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:20,650 Yeah, I saw those. They were funny. 154 00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:23,550 I printed a few out and put 'em on my fridge. 155 00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:25,490 So, when could we start? 156 00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:27,220 Okay, just to be clear. 157 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:29,990 You are asking me for help because I know something 158 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,430 that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't. 159 00:07:32,430 --> 00:07:36,230 I suppose that's one way to look at it. 160 00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:39,000 I think it's the only way to look at it. 161 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,900 Are you going to help me or not? 162 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,370 Probably. I'm just enjoying the foreplay. 163 00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,940 Does this mean you are done mocking my acting career? 164 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:50,040 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought making the transition 165 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,910 from actor to acting teacher 166 00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:53,280 was the signal that one's career 167 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,420 had reached the end of the road. 168 00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:58,270 Forget it. 169 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,750 I'll pay you $40. 170 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,310 Saturday, 9:00 a.m. Bring cash. 171 00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:06,660 Raj, I have amazing news! 172 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,630 What? 173 00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:08,980 I just got offered a fellowship 174 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,970 at the Weitzmann Institute in Israel. 175 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:12,730 Dude, that's incredible! I know. 176 00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,640 The only thing is, I'm gonna be gone for two years. 177 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,440 Aw, I'm gonna miss you. 178 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:18,570 Are you going with him? 179 00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:20,470 I have to stay here for school. 180 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,540 That's what we're here to talk to you about. 181 00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:26,980 You see, Bernadette has needs. 182 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,620 What kind of needs? 183 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:32,250 Sexual needs. 184 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,490 Most of them regular, 185 00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:37,990 some of them kind of messed up. 186 00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:41,760 So, while I'm gone, 187 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,000 you're going to have to satisfy her. 188 00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:46,800 What do you say? 189 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:51,270 I say okey-dokey. 190 00:08:55,510 --> 00:08:58,310 What ya thinking so hard about? 191 00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:02,450 Just that I'm definitely not gay. 192 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,030 Penny! 193 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:14,790 Penny! Penny! 194 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,700 What's wrong? 195 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,200 Nothing. I was acting. 196 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,070 You were acting. 197 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,550 Yes. In preparation for today's studies, 198 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:25,770 I read Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares, 199 00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:27,940 Stella Adler's The Technique of Acting, 200 00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,510 Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting, 201 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:32,880 and Henry Winkler's Ayyy, I'm an Actor. 202 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,780 Well, good for you. 203 00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:36,730 Come on in. 204 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:37,850 How shall we begin? 205 00:09:37,850 --> 00:09:39,550 Well, I thought we'd start 206 00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,020 with some basic movement exercises. 207 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,860 You know, get our bodies warmed up a little. 208 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,090 All right. 209 00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:46,260 So I just want you to relax 210 00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:48,130 and kind of move around in the space. 211 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,910 You know, just do whatever feels natural. 212 00:09:58,370 --> 00:09:59,540 Sheldon? 213 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:02,240 You said to do whatever feels natural. 214 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,180 This feels natural. 215 00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:06,210 Certainly more natural 216 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,010 than what you're doing. 217 00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,280 Come on, you got to work with me. 218 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,020 We need to get connected with our bodies. 219 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:13,990 Penny, my body and I have a relationship 220 00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,290 that works best when we maintain a cool, 221 00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:18,390 wary distance from each other. 222 00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:23,030 All right, let's just say we've warmed up. 223 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:25,080 You're the "teacher." 224 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,340 Okay. One of the things that might help you 225 00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,640 in connecting with your students 226 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,510 is being a little more spontaneous. 227 00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:34,440 So why don't we try some improvisation? 228 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,840 Why not? It seems like 229 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,780 you're improvising your entire curriculum. 230 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,050 This is all about listening and responding. 231 00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,020 Gotcha. 232 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,250 I'm going to create a character 233 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,970 and a situation, and you just jump in when you feel it. 234 00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,470 All right. All right. 235 00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:50,520 Action. 236 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,060 Okay, it's not a movie. 237 00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:56,230 It's improv. So no one calls "action." 238 00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:58,280 Hey, you taught me something. 239 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,770 Who would have thought it? 240 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,200 Okay. 241 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,010 Uh, no, the shipment has not arrived, 242 00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:07,610 and I really need those shoes. 243 00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:08,830 They are my biggest seller. 244 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,590 Yes, ladies sizes six through ten. 245 00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:11,980 Thank you. Oh, sorry. 246 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:14,410 I have to go. I have a customer. Bye-bye. 247 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:15,630 Hi. Can I help you? 248 00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:19,350 I'd like a frozen yogurt, please. 249 00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,260 Yogurt? 250 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,790 Yeah. Um... 251 00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:26,060 Okay, sure. 252 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,530 Luckily, we sell both shoes and yogurt here. 253 00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:32,130 You do? 254 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,640 Yes. Look up at the sign, 255 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,470 and remember, improv is always about saying yes. 256 00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:40,640 All right. 257 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,830 Yes. 258 00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,780 I see a sign. 259 00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:49,520 It says "Camarillo State Mental Hospital." 260 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,290 What? 261 00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,890 It's the only explanation I can come up with 262 00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:58,220 for why you think you sell shoes and yogurt. 263 00:11:58,230 --> 00:11:59,630 Okay, you know what? 264 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:01,460 Let's just try a different improv. Uh.. 265 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,730 Oh, this time we will be two winos 266 00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,500 living under a freeway overpass. 267 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,670 Oh, and we're going to use props? 268 00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:10,670 You bet. 269 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:13,970 I had dreams, you know. 270 00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:15,310 I was gonna be famous. 271 00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,690 Show everybody back home I could be someone. 272 00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:19,650 Now look at me. 273 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,650 Want some? 274 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:24,480 You have any frozen yogurt? 275 00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:29,960 I'm still not adjusted 276 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,630 to how the SyFy channel spells their name now. 277 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:36,260 S-y-F-y. That's "siffy." 278 00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:38,260 Uh-huh. 279 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,140 Hello? 280 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,570 Oh, my God! Is he okay? 281 00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,480 What happened? Hang on. Hang on. 282 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,310 Uh-huh. 283 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,850 Okay, thank you. 284 00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:56,280 Howard was on his scooter, and got hit by a truck. 285 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,280 He's in critical condition. 286 00:12:58,290 --> 00:13:00,490 Oh, no! 287 00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:03,460 Did you hear? 288 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,370 Isn't it terrible? 289 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:06,510 Have you seen him? 290 00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:07,790 They wouldn't let me in. 291 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:10,730 Oh, my Howie. 292 00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:14,300 It'll be okay. It'll be okay. 293 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,300 It'll be okay. 294 00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,300 It'll be okay. 295 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,170 It's Howard. 296 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,080 Howard, hello. 297 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,650 Raj, is that you? 298 00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:30,520 Yeah, I'm right here, buddy. How are you? 299 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,050 Shh, shh. Listen to me. 300 00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,590 I'm not gonna make it. 301 00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:35,090 No, no, no, don't say that. 302 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,690 You're going to be all right. 303 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,990 Raj, I don't have time. Now, pay attention. 304 00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:44,000 My last wish is that you look after Bernadette. 305 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,200 Of course, of course. 306 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:50,500 Now when you say "look after," you mean... 307 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,440 Sexually. 308 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,810 Excuse me, Bernadette. I have to hear it from him. 309 00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:58,610 Sexually. 310 00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:00,350 Got it. Take care. 311 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,080 I guess I have no choice 312 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,850 but to make sweet, guilt-free love to you 313 00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:07,070 over and over again for the rest of my life. 314 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:09,190 That's how I heard it. 315 00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,300 Or it could be "sy-fee." 316 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,500 What? 317 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,200 S-y-F-y. "Sy-fee." 318 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,800 Oh, right. 319 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,000 Good one. 320 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,580 So, did you get a chance to go over the scene I gave you? 321 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,760 Yes. I didn't care for it. 322 00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:37,720 Okay, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is an American classic. 323 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,990 So is the McRib sandwich. 324 00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:41,050 I don't care for that, either. 325 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,890 Fine. What would you rather do as a scene study? 326 00:14:46,890 --> 00:14:48,530 I'm glad you asked. 327 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:49,760 I took the liberty 328 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,700 of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella 329 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,230 I wrote when I was ten 330 00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,040 into a one-act play. 331 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,440 And you think it's better than Tennessee Williams? 332 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,440 Why don't we leave that for future generations to decide? 333 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:07,380 Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before. 334 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:11,250 It's the story of a young boy who is transported 335 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:13,820 from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas 336 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,350 to the 23rd Century, 337 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:20,630 where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated. 338 00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,850 KMN... 339 00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,980 Now, in this pivotal scene, 340 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:29,400 Sheldon's mother, played by you, argues with an emissary 341 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,300 of the United Federation of Planets, Mr. Spock, 342 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,940 the role I will bring to life. 343 00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:37,410 Okay, that's fine, but let's try 344 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:39,510 and get you out of your comfort zone. 345 00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,350 Why would we want to do that? 346 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:44,120 It's called "the comfort zone" for a reason. 347 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,290 Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, 348 00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,820 so I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, 349 00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:52,060 and I will bring life to Mr. Spock. 350 00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,170 I'm sorry. 351 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:00,970 You'll be Spock? 352 00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:03,640 It's only logical. 353 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,310 Very well. 354 00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,640 I'll set the scene. 355 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,610 All right. 356 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:12,610 "East Texas. 357 00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:14,900 "A warm summer night. 358 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,430 "A woman, Mary, 359 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,550 "stands on a porch. 360 00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:21,190 In the distance, we hear a lonesome train whistle..." 361 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,360 "The droning buzz of cicadas.." 362 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,380 "A coyote howls at the moon, 363 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,800 frightening sensitive young boys everywhere." 364 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:35,100 "Out in the woods, 365 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,800 an owl screeches..." Okay, okay. 366 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,440 We get it. You set the scene. 367 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,510 Hoo! 368 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:43,840 Now just read your mother's line. 369 00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:48,010 "Shelly! 370 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,550 "Shelly, how many times have I told you 371 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:53,820 "not to leave your sciencey stuff out on the porch? 372 00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:55,520 "Goodness, 373 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,990 "I'll never understand that boy. 374 00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:00,930 "But then again, I'm a religious nut, 375 00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:05,030 and my mind is closed to so many things." 376 00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:12,200 "Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful." 377 00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,470 "Glory be to Heaven, 378 00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:18,180 "some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air. 379 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,610 "George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon 380 00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:23,880 that ain't foolin' no one, and get your shotgun!" 381 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,140 "Greetings, Mary Cooper. 382 00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:28,390 I am Spock." 383 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,140 I'm sorry. I just don't buy it. 384 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,230 Just keep going! 385 00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:41,530 "Oh, my, your sudden appearance startles me." 386 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,370 "We have been monitoring your son Sheldon 387 00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:45,040 "from the 23rd Century, and 388 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,810 "we have determined that he is now ready 389 00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:48,070 "to join us. 390 00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:49,910 "His unique genius is our best hope 391 00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:52,950 for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy." 392 00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:54,350 "I understand. 393 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:56,450 "Oh, Shelly? 394 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,050 "A man's here to take you away to the future! 395 00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:00,920 Be sure to pack clean underwear." 396 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,390 Okay, okay, let's try that last line again, 397 00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:06,260 and this time, maybe try choking up 398 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,860 a little. Why? 399 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,400 Well, you're losing your son. 400 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,700 Yes, but he's going to a better place 401 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,930 where he won't get beat up... so much. 402 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,900 All right, come on, just try it my way. 403 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,470 Pretend you're sad to see him go. 404 00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:20,860 I'm gonna lead you in. 405 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,830 "His unique genius is our best hope 406 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:26,530 for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy." 407 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,950 - That's your cue. - I'm sorry. I just love that line. 408 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,620 Even the way you do it. 409 00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,150 All right, come on, come on. 410 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,510 Put some real emotion into it. 411 00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:39,290 Blah-blah, blah, blah... "vast and troubled galaxy." 412 00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:40,690 Go. Hmm. 413 00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:43,300 "Oh, Shelly? 414 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,000 A man's here to take you away to the future" 415 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,740 "Be sure to pack clean underwear." 416 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,020 That's good. That's good. That's good. 417 00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:58,480 Mommy, why are you crying? 418 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,450 'Cause I'm gonna miss you, Shelly-bean, 419 00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:05,020 even though you creep the bugeeses out of me. 420 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:06,900 Okay, I guess we're improvising now. 421 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,320 I'm sorry. 422 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,790 It's not my fault. 423 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:11,360 I'm just incredibly smart, 424 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,860 and everyone around here is dumber than a bag of rocks. 425 00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,730 Oh, now, don't you start crying. 426 00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:18,210 You get in that spaceship. 427 00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:19,830 Mommy's late for Indian bingo. 428 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,200 Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny. 429 00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,210 Yeah, I think I broke your son. 430 00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:28,470 Hey, hold on. 431 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,610 Talk to your mother. 432 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:32,480 Mommy, I love you. 433 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,980 Don't let Spock take me to the future! 434 00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:43,270 Okay, Raj, 435 00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:45,930 I know you've been avoiding me and Howard, and I'm not leaving 436 00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:47,460 until you tell me what's going on 437 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:48,870 inside that little head of yours. 438 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,020 Dance number aside, I'm so not gay. 439 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:08,410 — Sync, corrected by elderman — — for www.addic7ed.com — 440 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:11,570 — Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04 720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —