1
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,824
Here's what I wonder
about zombies.

2
00:00:07,822 --> 00:00:10,719
What happens if they can't get
any human flesh to eat?

3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,916
They can't starve to death—
they're already dead.

4
00:00:13,916 --> 00:00:16,823
You take this one.
I spent an hour last night on

5
00:00:16,823 --> 00:00:18,321
"How do vampires shave

6
00:00:18,321 --> 00:00:20,419
when they can't see
themselves in the mirror"?

7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,217
Well-groomed vampires
meet in pairs

8
00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:25,354
and shave each other—
case closed.

9
00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,921
Yeah, okay, so, zombies.

10
00:00:29,121 --> 00:00:31,119
I guess it depends
on the zombies, Raj.

11
00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:32,917
Are we talking slow zombies,
fast zombies?

12
00:00:32,917 --> 00:00:35,115
Like, in 28 Days,
if those zombies didn't eat,

13
00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:36,383
they starved.
You're thinking

14
00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:37,982
of 28 Days Later.

15
00:00:37,982 --> 00:00:40,020
28 Days is where
Sandra Bullock goes to rehab

16
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:42,787
and puts the audience
into an undead state

17
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,224
Hey, don't bag
on Sandra Bullock!

18
00:00:45,224 --> 00:00:47,093
You think it makes you
look cultured,

19
00:00:47,093 --> 00:00:49,890
but you just
come off as bitter.

20
00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:52,887
Oh, Dr. Siebert,
twelve o'clock.

21
00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:55,194
Why's the president
of the university

22
00:00:55,194 --> 00:00:57,192
slumming in the cafeteria?

23
00:00:57,192 --> 00:00:59,290
Perhaps he's emulating
Shakespeare's Henry V,

24
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:01,688
who dressed as a commoner
and mingled among them,

25
00:01:01,688 --> 00:01:04,725
to find out how he was being
perceived by his subjects.

26
00:01:04,725 --> 00:01:05,754
Of course, if he'd

27
00:01:05,754 --> 00:01:07,522
have read any
of the 1,300 e-mails

28
00:01:07,522 --> 00:01:09,560
I've sent him on the subject
of his administration,

29
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,809
he could have saved himself
the trouble.

30
00:01:11,408 --> 00:01:13,836
Or maybe he heard it's
Tator Tot Tuesday.

31
00:01:13,836 --> 00:01:15,374
That's why I'm here.

32
00:01:16,703 --> 00:01:18,731
Hey, there's
my favorite geniuses!

33
00:01:18,741 --> 00:01:20,739
How are we doing today?

34
00:01:20,739 --> 00:01:22,138
That depends—
how much longer

35
00:01:22,138 --> 00:01:24,865
do you plan on
fondling my shoulder?

36
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:27,872
Sorry, Dr. Cooper, I forgot
you have a touch phobia.

37
00:01:27,872 --> 00:01:30,269
It's not a touch phobia,
it's a germ phobia.

38
00:01:30,269 --> 00:01:33,037
If you'd like to go put on
a pair of latex gloves,

39
00:01:33,037 --> 00:01:34,935
I'll let you check me
for a hernia.

40
00:01:34,935 --> 00:01:36,733
Yeah.

41
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:39,500
So, listen, fellas, who's up
for a little party this Saturday night?

42
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,697
Open bar, good eats, might
even be a few pretty girls.

43
00:01:42,707 --> 00:01:43,896
Sounds great!
I'm in!

44
00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:45,334
Hold on.

45
00:01:45,334 --> 00:01:47,432
Just because the nice man
is offering you candy,

46
00:01:47,432 --> 00:01:49,730
doesn't mean you should jump
into his windowless van.

47
00:01:51,268 --> 00:01:53,636
What's the occasion?

48
00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:55,834
Just a little fund-raiser
for the university.

49
00:01:55,834 --> 00:01:59,470
Aha! The tear-stained air
mattress in the back of the van.

50
00:02:00,399 --> 00:02:02,327
I understand
your reticence, Dr. Cooper,

51
00:02:02,337 --> 00:02:04,565
and I sympathize,
but the hard facts are,

52
00:02:04,565 --> 00:02:06,833
occasionally,
we have to shake a few hands

53
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,931
and kiss a few butts
to raise money for our research.

54
00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:10,779
I don't care;
it's demeaning.

55
00:02:10,779 --> 00:02:13,176
And I refuse to be
trotted out and shown off

56
00:02:13,186 --> 00:02:15,414
like a prize hog
at the Texas State Fair.

57
00:02:15,414 --> 00:02:18,042
Which, by the way, is something
you don't want to attend

58
00:02:18,052 --> 00:02:20,579
wearing a Star Trek
ensign's uniform.

59
00:02:20,579 --> 00:02:21,718
All right,

60
00:02:21,718 --> 00:02:23,176
let me put it this way.

61
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,884
You're gonna put on a suit,
you're gonna come to this party,

62
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,582
and you're gonna
explain your research

63
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,051
to a bunch of old people,

64
00:02:29,051 --> 00:02:32,048
or I swear to God,
I'll blind you with a hot spoon,

65
00:02:32,048 --> 00:02:35,314
like they did to that little boy
in Slumdog Millionaire.

66
00:02:35,314 --> 00:02:37,282
Oh, you don't want that.

67
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,680
So, Saturday night!

68
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,478
It's gonna be
off the hook.
Ugh!

69
00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:42,477
Get over it.

70
00:02:44,975 --> 00:02:46,143
Oh, boy!

71
00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:48,181
Tator tots and
a party invitation?

72
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:49,980
What a great day!

73
00:03:17,732 --> 00:03:19,001
There you go.

74
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,264
Are you sure
this is right?

75
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:29,400
Yeah, just tuck that
part in your pants; you'll be fine.

76
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:34,435
Okay, let's go smooch some
rich, wrinkled tochis.

77
00:03:34,435 --> 00:03:36,593
Oh, Howard, I can't believe
Bernadette let you go

78
00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:38,531
to a fancy party
wearing a dickey.

79
00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:41,728
Excuse me, my girlfriend
doesn't pick out my clothes.

80
00:03:41,728 --> 00:03:43,996
My mother does.

81
00:03:44,535 --> 00:03:45,704
Oh. We should
get going.

82
00:03:45,744 --> 00:03:46,813
What about Sheldon?

83
00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:48,881
Sheldon is not going.

84
00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:50,719
Really? What do we tell Siebert?

85
00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:54,665
Tell him Dr. Cooper feels
that the best use of his time

86
00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:57,512
is to employ his rare
and precious mental faculties

87
00:03:57,532 --> 00:04:01,268
to tear the mask off nature
and stare at the face of God.

88
00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:05,764
Sheldon, it's Saturday night,
you'll be doing laundry.

89
00:04:05,764 --> 00:04:09,230
Don't tell him that,
tell him the mask thing.

90
00:04:14,765 --> 00:04:17,162
Hey, put your tie
back in your pants.

91
00:04:18,831 --> 00:04:20,429
Nice place.

92
00:04:20,429 --> 00:04:23,036
Reminds me of my parents'
house back in New Delhi.

93
00:04:23,036 --> 00:04:25,204
- You're kidding.
- No. We are very wealthy.

94
00:04:25,204 --> 00:04:28,301
But the only difference is,
we have more servants.

95
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,079
- More than this?
- More than we can use.

96
00:04:30,249 --> 00:04:31,538
You see, in India,
we don't make the mistake

97
00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:34,045
of letting up poor people
have dreams.

98
00:04:34,994 --> 00:04:38,401
Ah. There's my band
of brainiacs.

99
00:04:38,401 --> 00:04:39,500
Where's Dr. Cooper?

100
00:04:40,669 --> 00:04:44,964
He's tearing the mask off nature
to look at the face of God.

101
00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:47,632
The board of directors insists
he has a beautiful mind.

102
00:04:47,632 --> 00:04:48,960
I think he's just bananas.

103
00:04:49,969 --> 00:04:51,328
Come on, let me introduce you

104
00:04:51,328 --> 00:04:53,096
to one of the university's
leading donors.

105
00:04:55,564 --> 00:04:58,861
I think we were misled
about the cute girls.

106
00:04:58,861 --> 00:05:01,368
Mrs. Latham, I'd like
you to meet three

107
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:02,827
of our outstanding
young researchers.

108
00:05:02,827 --> 00:05:04,395
This is Dr. Leonard
Hofstadter,

109
00:05:04,395 --> 00:05:07,832
Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali
and Howard Wolowitz.

110
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,330
Well, what happened
to you, Wolowitz,

111
00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:12,197
couldn't stick with it
long enough to get your PhD?

112
00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:14,025
I'm an engineer.

113
00:05:14,025 --> 00:05:15,993
Most engineers
don't bother with a PhD.

114
00:05:15,993 --> 00:05:17,832
But you may be
interested to know

115
00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:21,128
I designed the zero-gravity
waste-disposal system for NASA:

116
00:05:21,128 --> 00:05:23,286
Got it—
you're a space plumber.

117
00:05:25,804 --> 00:05:28,071
I'm gonna go hit the bar.

118
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,758
Tell me about
these two.

119
00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:34,265
- Do him first.
- Dr. Hofstadter

120
00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:36,733
is representing our
experimental physics
program tonight.

121
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,091
I think you'll
really enjoy

122
00:05:38,091 --> 00:05:39,290
hearing about his
fascinating work.

123
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:40,359
Right.

124
00:05:40,359 --> 00:05:42,097
Fascinate me.

125
00:05:44,695 --> 00:05:47,892
They're cute when they're about
to wet themselves, aren't they?

126
00:05:47,892 --> 00:05:49,890
I'll make it
easy for you.

127
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,897
When you arrive at the lab
in the morning,

128
00:05:51,897 --> 00:05:53,696
what sort of machine
do you turn on?

129
00:05:54,894 --> 00:05:57,022
Coffee maker?

130
00:05:57,032 --> 00:06:00,829
All right, Dr. Kooth—
uh, whatever it is— you're up.

131
00:06:00,829 --> 00:06:02,357
It's Koothrappali.

132
00:06:02,357 --> 00:06:04,355
I have to tinkle.

133
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,819
And so, instead
of bowing to pressure,

134
00:06:10,819 --> 00:06:12,857
and going to that
pointless soiree,

135
00:06:12,857 --> 00:06:16,353
I stayed right here
and did a load of whites.

136
00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:20,119
Well, normally I respect
your macho rebellious attitude

137
00:06:20,119 --> 00:06:21,848
toward "The Man,"

138
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:25,654
but, in this case, I think
you've made a foolish mistake.

139
00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:27,312
Unlikely.

140
00:06:28,381 --> 00:06:29,680
But make your case.

141
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,187
Keeping in mind that
your critical attitude

142
00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:34,185
is ruining our
Saturday night together,

143
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,952
and I'm not above
minimizing your window.

144
00:06:36,952 --> 00:06:39,280
Sheldon, like it or not,

145
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,718
until you manage
to upload your intelligence

146
00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,686
into a self-sustaining
orbiting satellite,

147
00:06:43,686 --> 00:06:46,053
equipped with high-speed
Internet and a cloaking device,

148
00:06:46,053 --> 00:06:49,350
you will be dependent on other
members of the human race.

149
00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:52,117
That's it.
Prepare to be minimized.

150
00:06:52,117 --> 00:06:53,915
I'm not finished.

151
00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:55,614
All scientists have
to fund-raise, Sheldon.

152
00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,881
How do you think
I paid for my lab?

153
00:06:57,881 --> 00:07:00,449
I went to Saudi Arabia
and met with a prince

154
00:07:00,449 --> 00:07:02,347
who had an interest
in neurobiology.

155
00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:06,143
Your lab is funded by some
Middle-Eastern dilettante?

156
00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:08,850
Technically,
Faisal is my fiancé.

157
00:07:10,878 --> 00:07:13,476
But I do have a state-of-the-art
two-photon microscope

158
00:07:13,486 --> 00:07:16,483
and a place to stay in Riyadh
for the winter.

159
00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:19,680
Well, that explains those
puzzling camel race photos

160
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,047
on your Facebook page.

161
00:07:22,047 --> 00:07:23,576
And consider this:

162
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:26,213
without you to make the case
for the physics department,

163
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,810
the task will fall to people
like Leonard and Rajesh.

164
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:31,008
Are you trying to scare me?

165
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,276
'Cause you're succeeding.

166
00:07:33,276 --> 00:07:35,014
Well, then prepare
to be terrified.

167
00:07:35,014 --> 00:07:36,643
If your friends
are unconvincing,

168
00:07:36,643 --> 00:07:38,651
this year's donations
might go to,

169
00:07:38,651 --> 00:07:40,109
say, the geology department.

170
00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:42,777
Oh, dear, no! Not the dirt people!

171
00:07:45,244 --> 00:07:47,512
Or worse— it could go to...

172
00:07:47,512 --> 00:07:49,550
the liberal arts.

173
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,306
No!

174
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,373
Millions of dollars
being showered on poets,

175
00:07:56,383 --> 00:08:00,049
literary theorists
and students of gender studies.

176
00:08:01,078 --> 00:08:04,075
Oh, the humanities!

177
00:08:05,474 --> 00:08:07,841
On the bright side, I don't
think President Siebert

178
00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:11,048
will be making us go
to any more fund-raisers.

179
00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:12,976
It was so much easier
at my bar mitzvah.

180
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:15,314
The old people just came up
to you, pinched your cheek

181
00:08:15,314 --> 00:08:17,811
and handed you a savings bond.

182
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:20,039
Oh, don't be such gloomy Gusses.

183
00:08:20,039 --> 00:08:22,806
Look at the size
of these shrimp!

184
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,513
At what point do we start
calling them lobsters?

185
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:29,809
Face it, Raj,
we crashed and burned tonight.

186
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,947
Oh, you didn't
do that badly.

187
00:08:33,176 --> 00:08:35,374
Mrs. Latham, the first machine
I turn on in the morning

188
00:08:35,374 --> 00:08:37,911
is the helium-neon laser,
'cause it needs to warm up.

189
00:08:37,911 --> 00:08:40,479
I no longer care, dear.

190
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,977
But don't worry,

191
00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:43,975
I really enjoyed
meeting you this evening.

192
00:08:43,975 --> 00:08:45,943
u're kidding.
That was good for you?

193
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,211
'Cause I was sweating
through my T-shirt.

194
00:08:48,211 --> 00:08:50,539
Excellent! There's
nothing I like better

195
00:08:50,539 --> 00:08:53,236
than making smart people
feel ill at ease.

196
00:08:53,246 --> 00:08:55,144
Why?

197
00:08:55,144 --> 00:08:57,342
Oh, I don't know,
it's one of the fun things

198
00:08:57,342 --> 00:09:00,139
you get to do when
you have lots of money.

199
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,578
Watch.

200
00:09:01,578 --> 00:09:04,245
Hey! Who said you
could eat that shrimp?

201
00:09:08,011 --> 00:09:09,769
See? Fun.

202
00:09:09,769 --> 00:09:12,037
No, no, no, I'm just here

203
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:13,336
for your money.

204
00:09:13,336 --> 00:09:15,743
I don't want to shake
anyone's germy hands.

205
00:09:17,042 --> 00:09:19,240
Explain it to
them, Siebert.

206
00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:25,584
I must confess

207
00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:27,182
I don't understand you,
President Siebert.

208
00:09:27,182 --> 00:09:29,949
First you say you want me
to appear at your fund-raisers,

209
00:09:29,949 --> 00:09:32,457
but now you say
you never want me to go

210
00:09:32,457 --> 00:09:34,185
anywhere near your fund-raisers.

211
00:09:34,185 --> 00:09:37,182
Forgive me, but that sounds
like a mixed message.

212
00:09:37,182 --> 00:09:38,780
Here we go again.

213
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,948
If there's simply
no talking to me,

214
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:44,015
why did you call?

215
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:45,883
I'm sorry, someone's
on the other line.

216
00:09:45,883 --> 00:09:48,451
Why don't you see if you
can organize your thoughts,

217
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:51,588
and we'll try again later.

218
00:09:51,588 --> 00:09:54,215
Cooper-Hofstadter residence.
Go for Cooper.

219
00:09:54,215 --> 00:09:56,313
Good morning, Mrs. Latham.

220
00:09:56,313 --> 00:09:58,451
Well, yes, of course
I remember you.

221
00:09:58,451 --> 00:10:00,119
A woman well past her prime

222
00:10:00,119 --> 00:10:02,017
seeking to augment
her social status

223
00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:04,954
by doling out her late husband's
ill-gotten gains.

224
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:09,879
So, how much money
are you going to give me?

225
00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:13,216
I'm not crazy—
my mother had me tested.

226
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:14,744
Well, if you're not

227
00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:17,452
going to give me money,
then why are you calling?

228
00:10:17,452 --> 00:10:19,550
She wants to talk to you.

229
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:22,716
Who's crazy now?

230
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,883
Hello, Mrs. Latham.

231
00:10:25,883 --> 00:10:28,780
Yes, I live with him.

232
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:31,278
I don't...
I-I really don't know why.

233
00:10:36,982 --> 00:10:40,309
Tonight? Sure,
that'd be great.

234
00:10:40,319 --> 00:10:42,716
Okay, I'll see you then.

235
00:10:42,716 --> 00:10:44,085
Bye.

236
00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:47,212
She wants to have dinner
and talk about my research.

237
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:50,678
An entire dinner
to talk about your research?

238
00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:55,084
Where you going, the drive-thru
at Jack in the Box?

239
00:10:57,412 --> 00:10:59,679
Well, wherever
we're going,

240
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,816
she's sending a car
to pick me up.

241
00:11:02,816 --> 00:11:04,145
Okay,

242
00:11:04,145 --> 00:11:06,243
- I see what's happening.
- What?

243
00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,411
My stature intimidates her,

244
00:11:08,411 --> 00:11:11,677
so she's using you to get to me.

245
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,913
Crafty old gal.

246
00:11:15,913 --> 00:11:18,780
Excuse me, but you are not the
only distinguished scientist

247
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:20,079
in this apartment.

248
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,847
I've been published in
peer-reviewed journals,

249
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,975
I received a Dissertation
of the Year award

250
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,973
for experimental
particle physics.

251
00:11:25,973 --> 00:11:28,411
No, that can't be it.

252
00:11:28,411 --> 00:11:29,839
And since you seem

253
00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:32,047
to have forgotten,
the reason we live together

254
00:11:32,047 --> 00:11:33,705
is we're best friends.

255
00:11:33,715 --> 00:11:35,813
And I got your back, Jack.

256
00:11:38,810 --> 00:11:41,547
That was a great meal.
I'm glad you
enjoyed it.

257
00:11:41,547 --> 00:11:44,644
The only time I eat this well
is when my mom's in town

258
00:11:44,644 --> 00:11:47,142
- and she takes me out to dinner.
- Is that so?

259
00:11:47,142 --> 00:11:48,980
You kind of
remind me of her.

260
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:52,706
She enjoys making people
uncomfortable, too.

261
00:11:52,706 --> 00:11:55,773
Well, you remind me of
a boy I dated in college.

262
00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:57,711
- No kidding.
- Sweet boy.

263
00:11:57,711 --> 00:11:59,010
Very smart.

264
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,478
If only he'd had money.

265
00:12:03,506 --> 00:12:04,944
Yeah, um...

266
00:12:04,944 --> 00:12:07,412
so, hey,
speaking of money,

267
00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:10,708
how are you feeling about
helping the physics department

268
00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:13,645
get a cryogenic centrifugal
pump and molecular sieve?

269
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:17,112
Well, I must say, you make a
very persuasive case for it.

270
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,370
Oh, good, good.
And I'm seriously

271
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:22,037
considering taking it
to the next level.

272
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:24,075
Terrific. Great.

273
00:12:24,075 --> 00:12:26,303
What level is that?

274
00:12:32,636 --> 00:12:35,743
Okay, now you don't
remind me of my mom.

275
00:12:40,638 --> 00:12:45,474
I'm sorry, so, eventually,
zombies are going to attack

276
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:48,441
the rehab facility
where Sandra Bullock is?

277
00:12:50,738 --> 00:12:53,176
Yes, Sheldon. Keep watching.

278
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,801
You know, it's a shame, all that
work she's doing to get sober,

279
00:12:57,801 --> 00:12:59,969
only to be torn apart
and eaten alive.

280
00:13:02,177 --> 00:13:03,705
Hey. How was dinner?

281
00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:06,143
Swell. I need a drink.

282
00:13:06,143 --> 00:13:08,441
Do we have any alcohol?

283
00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:12,536
No. But we have potatoes—
I could make you vodka.

284
00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:13,905
It'll take two weeks.

285
00:13:15,204 --> 00:13:16,233
Leonard, are you okay?

286
00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:18,770
Um, I'm not sure.

287
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:20,009
What's going on?

288
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:23,236
Well, Mrs. Latham said
she was seriously considering

289
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,403
donating money so we could get
a cryogenic centrifugal pump...

290
00:13:26,403 --> 00:13:27,941
Yes!
Oh, wow!

291
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,838
then she stuck
her tongue down my throat.

292
00:13:30,838 --> 00:13:33,505
Why?

293
00:13:33,505 --> 00:13:35,074
Okay, we can't keep
explaining everything.

294
00:13:35,074 --> 00:13:36,672
Read that book
we got you.

295
00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:40,239
She hit on me.

296
00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:41,637
Wait-wait-wait.
Are you telling us

297
00:13:41,637 --> 00:13:44,105
that old lady wanted
to have sex with you

298
00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:47,831
in exchange for giving your
department millions of dollars?

299
00:13:47,841 --> 00:13:49,040
I think so.

300
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,298
You lucky duck.

301
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:55,833
You're really
a broken toy, aren't you?

302
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:58,171
I was able to get out of there
before anything else happened,

303
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,969
but she wants to see me again
tomorrow night.

304
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,696
Excellent!
What are you planning to wear?

305
00:14:02,706 --> 00:14:04,305
What?

306
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:07,831
Penny, you're an expert on trading
sexual favors for material gain—

307
00:14:07,831 --> 00:14:10,498
walk him through this.

308
00:14:10,498 --> 00:14:14,434
Well, n-no, hold on a second,
I'm not going to sleep with her.

309
00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:17,831
But we need a cryogenic
centrifugal pump.

310
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:20,528
Well, forget it!
It's not gonna happen.

311
00:14:20,538 --> 00:14:23,565
Well, come now, Leonard,
this may be your only chance

312
00:14:23,565 --> 00:14:25,963
to make a real contribution
to science!

313
00:14:25,963 --> 00:14:29,130
I repeat: Not gonna happen.

314
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:35,094
What was all that
about me trading sexual favors

315
00:14:35,104 --> 00:14:36,802
for material gain?

316
00:14:36,802 --> 00:14:39,270
It was a compliment.

317
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:42,137
I believe in giving credit
where credit is due.

318
00:14:44,794 --> 00:14:46,802
Okay, fine. I'll tell him.

319
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,429
Leonard, Mrs. Latham's car
is here for you.

320
00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:51,467
I won't be too late;
I'm just gonna make

321
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:53,965
a final pitch for the funding
and then say good night.

322
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:56,333
Hold on,
I have something for you.

323
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:58,700
What's this?

324
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,528
Just a few things you
may need tonight.

325
00:15:00,528 --> 00:15:03,495
Baby oil, condoms
and, uh...

326
00:15:03,495 --> 00:15:06,392
a little something I procured from the
school of pharmacology.

327
00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:10,329
They say it is to Viagra as
Viagra is to a green M&M.

328
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:17,062
I am not going
to have sex with her.

329
00:15:17,062 --> 00:15:18,760
Maybe this will overcome
your reluctance.

330
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,397
I went on the Internet
and found a photograph

331
00:15:21,397 --> 00:15:25,463
of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham
to get your libido humming.

332
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:30,828
Check out those saddle shoes.

333
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,561
Are you insane?

334
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,359
I'm not going
to prostitute myself

335
00:15:39,359 --> 00:15:41,657
just so we can get
some new equipment.

336
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:43,226
Oh, come on! Why not?

337
00:15:43,226 --> 00:15:45,064
Good night,

338
00:15:45,064 --> 00:15:46,662
Sheldon.
Given how much time

339
00:15:46,662 --> 00:15:48,830
you spend engaging
in pointless self-abuse,

340
00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:51,757
you might consider,
just this once,

341
00:15:51,757 --> 00:15:55,064
using your genitalia to
actually accomplish something!

342
00:15:57,631 --> 00:15:59,459
He still won't shag
the old lady, huh?

343
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,696
No. But thank you for asking.

344
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:06,892
Hey. Hi.

345
00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,430
Hello, Leonard.

346
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:09,959
I hope you're hungry.

347
00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:11,727
I'm very hungry.

348
00:16:11,727 --> 00:16:14,394
For food, right?

349
00:16:14,394 --> 00:16:16,892
Oh, I made you uncomfortable
last night.

350
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,730
I'm so sorry.

351
00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:20,029
No, that's okay.

352
00:16:20,029 --> 00:16:21,957
No, it most
certainly is not.

353
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:24,195
Leonard, I'm making the
donation to your department

354
00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:26,492
regardless of what
happens between us.

355
00:16:26,492 --> 00:16:28,560
- Really?
- Well, of course.

356
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,428
There's no quid
pro quo here.

357
00:16:30,428 --> 00:16:32,426
You and your colleagues are
doing remarkable research,

358
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,155
and you deserve the money.

359
00:16:34,155 --> 00:16:35,863
Oh.

360
00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:38,290
Then what was
last night about?

361
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,387
I took a shot; sue me.

362
00:16:41,387 --> 00:16:43,895
Oh.

363
00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:45,793
You're a very
handsome man, Leonard.

364
00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:49,359
Thank you.

365
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:52,656
It was foolish of me to
think someone your age

366
00:16:52,656 --> 00:16:55,224
might ever be interested
in someone like me.

367
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,552
Oh, don't say that.

368
00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:58,420
- You're a very attractive woman.
- Oh, please.

369
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:01,387
- No, it's true.
- Well, aren't you sweet.

370
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,695
Just for the record...

371
00:17:03,695 --> 00:17:07,192
you'd remember a night with me
for the rest of your life.

372
00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:12,286
I'm sure I would.

373
00:17:12,286 --> 00:17:15,223
But why-why, exactly?

374
00:17:15,223 --> 00:17:17,251
You're a very smart man.

375
00:17:17,251 --> 00:17:20,159
How do you think I landed
such a rich husband?

376
00:17:20,159 --> 00:17:22,626
I hadn't really
given it much thought.

377
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:25,553
Well, think about it.

378
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:29,359
Do you mean...?

379
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,687
Yep. I'm that good.

380
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,721
Oh, what the hell.

381
00:17:52,526 --> 00:17:55,353
Good morning, slut.

382
00:17:57,821 --> 00:17:59,889
What?

383
00:17:59,889 --> 00:18:03,655
Oh, please, I recognize
the walk of shame
when I see it.

384
00:18:03,655 --> 00:18:05,753
All you're missing is
a little smeared mascara

385
00:18:05,753 --> 00:18:08,051
and a purse with panties
wadded up in it.

386
00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:09,719
What's
going on?

387
00:18:09,719 --> 00:18:11,048
Oh, nothing's going on.

388
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,156
Excuse me.

389
00:18:12,156 --> 00:18:14,015
- Are you just getting home?
- Yeah.

390
00:18:14,015 --> 00:18:16,822
That's a good sign, right?

391
00:18:16,822 --> 00:18:17,951
Oh, yeah.

392
00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:20,618
I'm so proud of you!

393
00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:21,787
You sold yourself out

394
00:18:21,787 --> 00:18:23,955
like a common streetwalker!

395
00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:27,821
No, I didn't do it
for the money.

396
00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:29,849
She stiffed you?

397
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:32,716
I believe that's what
your roommate did to her.

398
00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:34,684
What?

399
00:18:34,684 --> 00:18:37,351
Again, read the
book we gave you.

400
00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:39,080
No, I mean,

401
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,018
I-I got the money first.

402
00:18:41,018 --> 00:18:42,446
Smart. Get paid up front.

403
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,783
Yeah, I think you have a real
knack for gigolo work, Leonard.

404
00:18:45,783 --> 00:18:47,451
Uh...

405
00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:49,319
I'm gonna go lie down.

406
00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:51,517
That's a good idea;
get your rest.

407
00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,615
There are a lot more
rich old ladies out there,

408
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,213
and Daddy needs
a new linear accelerator.

409
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:02,646
And I thought he didn't learn anything
from his relationship with you.

410
00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:04,884
Hey!

411
00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:05,913
Another compliment!

412
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:07,251
Learn to recognize them.

413
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:15,343
Ah, there he is!

414
00:19:15,393 --> 00:19:16,892
The man of the hour!

415
00:19:16,892 --> 00:19:18,560
He took one for the team!

416
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:24,794
I didn't do it
for the money!

417
00:19:24,794 --> 00:19:28,320
Keep telling yourself that—
it makes it easier.

418
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,688
Trust me, I know.

419
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:34,154
Cool, buddy!
That's awesome!
Yeah!

420
00:19:34,154 --> 00:19:35,953
How was she?

421
00:19:36,152 --> 00:19:39,149
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==

422
00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:42,646
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —