1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:03,920
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory:

2
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:06,780
Guess who I found at LAX.
My baby sister Priya.

3
00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:08,930
It's really nice
to see you again, Leonard.

4
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,800
Yeah, it's good
to see you, too.

5
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,870
Here you go.

6
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,030
Thanks.

7
00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:18,080
You slept with
my sister?

8
00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:19,340
Yeah.

9
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:21,470
This is a terrible
betrayal of my trust!

10
00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:23,340
Would it help
if I told you

11
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,010
that I offered
her my heart,

12
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:26,840
and she kinda
stomped on it?

13
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,130
How hard did she stomp?

14
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:29,350
Very hard.

15
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:31,710
Okay, I'm good.

16
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:38,920
What's so funny?

17
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,160
Nothing. Just thinking

18
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:44,590
about the noises people
make during sex.

19
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,630
I do sometimes get a bit
carried away, don't I?

20
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,620
It's cute.

21
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:54,370
You sound a little
like a drunken monkey.

22
00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:57,210
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

23
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,150
You know it's meant
as a compliment.

24
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That's how I take it.

25
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,250
This is perfect.

26
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:09,190
I hope this moment
never ends.

27
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,750
Me, too.

28
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:15,330
Well, gotta go.
Oh!

29
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,350
Already?
Why don't you stay over?

30
00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,770
I'd love to, but you know

31
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:25,850
my mother needs me in
the morning.

32
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:31,910
Please, I think the woman can
manage to put a wig on by herself.

33
00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:34,680
It's not just the wig.

34
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,850
It's pinning her hair up,
drawing on her eyebrows.

35
00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:38,410
It's a two-person job.

36
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,250
It's just, when you leave right
after we make love,

37
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,850
it makes me feel...

38
00:01:44,860 --> 00:01:46,120
cheap.

39
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Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

40
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What can I do?

41
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Stay.

42
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,560
Okay.

43
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,100
Like, what, another five,
ten minutes?

44
00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:03,640
Go home.

45
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,890
Your call.

46
00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:09,610
Howard...

47
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:13,780
have you ever considered us
living together?

48
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Boy, I don't know.

49
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:19,090
You, me, Ma living
under the same roof?

50
00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:22,860
No, I mean just you and me.

51
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:24,130
You can move in here,

52
00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:26,060
or we can find a place.

53
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,860
I've got a better solution.
What?

54
00:02:27,870 --> 00:02:29,930
We wait for my mom's heart
to explode

55
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:31,900
from all the salt she eats.

56
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,270
Then we just stick her in
the ground, flip her mattress

57
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,610
and move into the big bedroom.

58
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Great.

59
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:42,010
Look at us planning
a future together!

60
00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:48,890
Who's there?

61
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:50,720
Are you a
sex criminal?

62
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:56,230
Sex criminals
don't have keys, Ma!

63
00:02:56,230 --> 00:02:59,130
Where were you
so late?

64
00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:00,530
I was out with Bernadette!

65
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:01,960
I know what
that means!

66
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:05,500
I watch Dr. Phil!

67
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:09,070
I hope to God
you used a condom!

68
00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:11,840
I'm not having this conversation
with you, Ma!

69
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,880
God forbid you get one of
those new fancy sex diseases!

70
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,350
Nobody has a disease!

71
00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:20,820
I hope not!

72
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:24,050
I share a toilet
with you!

73
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,560
Is that what
you want?

74
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,030
To give your
mother herbies?

75
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,530
That's it!
I don't have to take this!

76
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:37,100
Good luck with your eyebrows in
the morning!

77
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:43,970
Who's there?

78
00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,110
Are you a
sex criminal?

79
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:48,950
I'm still leaving!

80
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,830
I just forgot my Claritin!

81
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,380
Hey, what's up?

82
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,140
I need a place to crash.

83
00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:22,910
Uh, sure.

84
00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:24,980
Why?

85
00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:26,850
Big fight with my mother.

86
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:31,090
Still arguing over
which CSI is the best?

87
00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:35,120
No, we agreed they all have
their merits.

88
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,190
This was about Bernadette.

89
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:39,290
What's going on?

90
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,400
Howard's gonna sleep here
tonight.

91
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,780
He had a fight with his mother.

92
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:45,000
Did you offer him
a hot beverage?

93
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,840
No.

94
00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:58,450
Leonard, social protocol states
when a friend is upset,

95
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:00,680
you offer them a hot beverage,
such as tea.

96
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,390
Tea does sound nice.

97
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,640
You heard the man, Leonard.

98
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,660
And while you're at it,
I'm upset

99
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:14,060
that we have an unannounced
houseguest, so make me cocoa.

100
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,770
Point of inquiry,

101
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,400
given that Leonard is
your secondary friend

102
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,810
and Koothrappali is
your primary friend,

103
00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:26,070
why didn't you seek refuge
under his roof?

104
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,310
There's no room.

105
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,710
His sister is staying with him.

106
00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,880
Wait, wait. What?

107
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,130
Cocoa, Leonard.
Focus.

108
00:05:32,130 --> 00:05:34,850
I'm down in
the dumps here.

109
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,670
Priya's in town?

110
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,370
Yeah, some work thing.

111
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:42,460
Anyway, my mother seems
to think that Bernadette...

112
00:05:42,460 --> 00:05:44,560
Hold on.
When did Priya get here?

113
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,600
I don't know.
A couple of days ago.

114
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,550
The thing is, Bernadette doesn't
like that I have to take care

115
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,230
of my mother, and my mother
doesn't trust Bernadette...

116
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,390
Yeah, that's a real pickle.

117
00:05:53,390 --> 00:05:54,600
Bye.

118
00:05:58,310 --> 00:05:59,640
Don't worry.

119
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,530
As your tertiary friend,

120
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,580
I am prepared to step in
and comfort you.

121
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,830
That's not really necessary.

122
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:08,400
No, no. I'll finish
making the tea,

123
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,400
while you narcissistically
ramble on

124
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,450
about whatever's troubling you.

125
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Thanks.

126
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:17,430
That's what
tertiary friends are for.

127
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,160
Who is it?

128
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,370
It's Leonard.

129
00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:25,870
You can't come in.

130
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:28,100
I just want to talk to her.

131
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,540
I forbid it.

132
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,890
Open the door,
Rajesh.

133
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,060
You heard me.

134
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:34,240
I forbidded it.

135
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"Forbidded" it?

136
00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:37,980
"Forbaded" it?

137
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,650
Get out of the way.

138
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,650
What are you doing here?

139
00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,090
What are you doing here?

140
00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,450
I have business in Los Angeles.

141
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:46,960
Why didn't you call?

142
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,520
Clearly, she was
sending you a message

143
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,790
to take a hike, Mike.

144
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:53,600
I'm sorry.
I thought about calling,

145
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,600
but I just wasn't sure if
seeing you was such a good idea.

146
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,030
I know. Last time
I came on too strong.

147
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,340
Can we talk in private?

148
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,400
No!
Sure.

149
00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:05,370
It's completely inappropriate
for a single woman

150
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:06,680
to entertain a man in private.

151
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,580
If you insist on talking,
you must do it on the couch!

152
00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:12,950
All right, you may talk in
the bedroom,

153
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:15,320
but I want this door
to remain open!

154
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,300
All right, just this once
you may close the door.

155
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,760
But keep in mind
I'll be right out here

156
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,360
monitoring the situation!

157
00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:37,570
Oh, damn it.

158
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:40,840
Leonard, when you get this
message, call me.

159
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,090
Priya, this is your brother.

160
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:53,020
When you get this, tell Leonard
to check his voicemail.

161
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,590
Would you be sleeping over
again this evening?

162
00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:00,060
Because you're welcome to.

163
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,230
That's very nice of you,
but I made other plans.

164
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:05,370
Well, just keep in mind that
should you ever need

165
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:10,570
a slightly apathetic tertiary
friend, I stand at the ready.

166
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,470
Hi, Howard.
Hi, Sheldon.

167
00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:13,470
Hello.
Hey.

168
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,190
Why are you
holding hands?

169
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,180
I forbid you to hold hands.

170
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:20,670
Rajesh, you know Leonard and I
spent the night together.

171
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:22,350
Yeah, but you were just
sleeping,

172
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:24,890
because I forboded you
to have sex.

173
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,590
The word is "forbade"

174
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,860
You sure?
That doesn't sound right.

175
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,060
Listen, Rajesh, Leonard and I
have decided

176
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:34,500
to see each other again,

177
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,260
and you don't get
to tell me

178
00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:39,100
who I can and can't have
a relationship with.

179
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,540
Actually, he can.

180
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:45,010
The Hindu Code of Manu is
very clear in these matters.

181
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,640
If a woman's father is
not around,

182
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:50,110
the duty of controlling her base
desires falls

183
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:54,950
to the closest male member of
her family, in this case, Raj.

184
00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:56,180
The code also states

185
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:58,550
that if she disobeys,
she will be reborn

186
00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:03,360
"in the womb of a jackal
and tormented by diseases."

187
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,790
If true,

188
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,230
that seems
like an awfully large gamble

189
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,430
given that the prize is Leonard.

190
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,370
There it is, Priya.
We're Indian.

191
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:18,410
We believe this stuff.

192
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:21,640
I think it also says that
if you eat beef,

193
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,810
you need to live with cows
for three months

194
00:09:23,810 --> 00:09:24,980
and drink their urine.

195
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:28,350
Some of it makes sense,
some of it's crazy.

196
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,290
My point is, you can't go out
with Leonard.

197
00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:32,720
Who can't go out with Leonard?

198
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:33,960
My sister.

199
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,520
Penny, this is
Raj's sister, Priya.

200
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:37,890
It's very nice to meet you.

201
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:40,230
Oh, yeah, you, too.

202
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,500
Priya, if you're experiencing
any tension or awkwardness,

203
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,580
it may stem from the fact that
Leonard and Penny used to—

204
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:50,240
if I may quote Howard—
"do the dance with no pants."

205
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,340
Sheldon!

206
00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:57,580
Really?

207
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:00,300
Hey, Bernadette, can I
talk to you for a second?

208
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,420
Sure.

209
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,690
Penny, you became disenchanted
with Leonard

210
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:05,750
as a lover.

211
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,060
Would you please tell
my sister why?

212
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,110
Listen, my mom's
going to Palm Springs

213
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,430
to visit her sister.

214
00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:13,860
That's two whole nights
in a row I can sleep over

215
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,830
with you
all the way to morning.

216
00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,200
Unless the desert air
dries out her sinuses,

217
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,480
in which case I'll have
to schlep out there

218
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,400
with the big humidifier.

219
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,600
That's it?

220
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,440
That's your big solution
to all of our problems?

221
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,810
If your mom's nose holds up,
we get two nights together?

222
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,050
Isn't that great?

223
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:32,300
No, it's not great.

224
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:33,550
You need to make a choice.

225
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,780
Me or your mother.

226
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,650
Uh...

227
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:37,790
Wrong answer.

228
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:39,140
No, wait.

229
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:40,510
You didn't let me finish.

230
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,090
I'm listening.

231
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,760
Uh...

232
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:56,530
I came as quickly as I could.

233
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,450
Okay.

234
00:10:58,470 --> 00:11:00,470
Why?

235
00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:02,160
To comfort you, of course.

236
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,990
Sheldon told me about Leonard
dating Rajesh's sister.

237
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:06,480
So I high-tailed it over here

238
00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:08,990
to pick up the pieces
of your broken heart.

239
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:11,090
Amy, I'm fine.

240
00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:14,230
You don't have to
be strong for me.

241
00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,750
Now let's talk about Priya,
that man-stealing bitch.

242
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,330
What?

243
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:22,000
In situations like this,

244
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,540
best girlfriends are often
catty about the other woman.

245
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,960
Really, I am not upset
about Leonard and Priya.

246
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,550
Oh. Then perhaps you don't
understand what's going on.

247
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:37,420
Your former boyfriend
has replaced you

248
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,280
with what appears to be
a very suitable mate.

249
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:41,790
Arguably much
more suitable than you.

250
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,160
Oh. Well, good for him.

251
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,990
Hey, what do you mean,
"more suitable"?

252
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:51,430
Well, granted, Penny, your
secondary sexual characteristics

253
00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:54,130
are reasonably bodacious.

254
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,670
But Priya is highly educated,

255
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,200
she's an accomplished
professional,

256
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,540
and she comes from the culture
that literally wrote the book

257
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,640
on neat ways to have sex.

258
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,010
Whereas you, on the other hand,
are a community college dropout

259
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:08,810
who comes from the culture that
wrote the book on tipping cows.

260
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,150
Yeah. Okay, I got it.

261
00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:12,450
I got it.

262
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:15,250
So... what is
all that stuff?

263
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,460
This is a portable
electroencephalogram.

264
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:20,010
I'm doing research
on emotions and brain activity.

265
00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:21,360
So when you start crying,

266
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,700
I can see which region
of the brain is activated.

267
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,800
Then I'm going to stimulate
the analogous area

268
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,630
in the brain of a rhesus monkey
and see if he cries.

269
00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:32,870
Cool, huh?

270
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:49,690
I choose you.

271
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,360
Really?

272
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,220
Yep. I moved out
of my mother's house.

273
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,290
Cord is cut.

274
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,490
I'm all yours.

275
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:58,850
What did she say
when you told her?

276
00:12:58,850 --> 00:13:01,800
I don't know. She hasn't
responded to my email yet.

277
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,540
This is so great.

278
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:06,600
I love you, Howard.

279
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:07,890
I love you, too.

280
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,310
So what's for dinner?

281
00:13:11,010 --> 00:13:13,140
Well, I don't really have much
of anything in the house.

282
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,050
That's fine.

283
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:17,280
Why don't we go fool
around in our bedroom?

284
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,450
And then you
can go shopping.

285
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:26,240
I thought maybe after we eat,
we could see an early movie.

286
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,530
I'd love that.

287
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:29,160
I love the way you say,

288
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,760
"I'd love that."

289
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,930
She says it the same way I do.

290
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,440
"I'd love that."

291
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,440
Everybody in India
says it that way.

292
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,940
It's not a big deal.

293
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,060
Rajesh, don't be a child.

294
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,140
I'm not being a child.

295
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:46,510
Leonard, I swear to God,

296
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:47,730
if your sister
ever comes to town,

297
00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:49,450
I shall have my way with her.

298
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,620
My sister's 38 and married.

299
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,270
All the more shame
that will fall

300
00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,290
upon the house of Hofstadter.

301
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:02,440
Ooh, I thought I smelled pizza.

302
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,600
That's remarkable.

303
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,860
If pepperoni
were an explosive substance,

304
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,500
you could replace
German shepherds

305
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,400
at our nation's airports.

306
00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:11,800
Hi. Penny, right?

307
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,710
Oh, yes. H-Hi. I'm sorry.

308
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,840
I didn't know you had company.
I don't want to impose.

309
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,760
No, no. It's not
an imposition.

310
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,110
At this point, in our ecosystem,
you are akin to the plover,

311
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,120
a small scavenging bird
that eats extra food

312
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,080
from between
the teeth of crocodiles.

313
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:31,090
Please, fly into our open maw,
and have at it.

314
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,790
If I had more than a box of
baking soda in my refrigerator,

315
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,160
I wouldn't have to take that.

316
00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:42,770
Hi, bestie.

317
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:44,170
Hi.

318
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,440
So, um, Priya,

319
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,740
you're a lawyer, right?

320
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:51,440
I know. Pretty boring, huh?

321
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,680
Oh, come on.
It's not boring at all.

322
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,080
She's currently helping set up
a secondary derivative market

323
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,590
which would allow
overseas car firms

324
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,050
to hedge their investments

325
00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:04,720
against potential advancements
in battery technology.

326
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,010
Hmm?

327
00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:07,560
Thank you, Leonard.

328
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,930
That doesn't make it
sound boring at all.

329
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:14,030
So, how you holding up?

330
00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:17,370
I'm fine.

331
00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:19,140
Oh, who are you kidding?
She's breathtaking.

332
00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:23,310
So, Penny,

333
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:25,140
Leonard tells me
you're an actress.

334
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:27,250
That must be
pretty exciting.

335
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:28,610
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's real great.

336
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:30,250
Today I drove to Van Nuys
for an audition

337
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,120
I thought was going to be
for a cat food commercial.

338
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,090
Turned out to be porn.

339
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:37,960
Did you get the part?

340
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,690
I didn't do the audition.

341
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,260
Given the state of your career,

342
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:45,430
can you really afford
to be picky?

343
00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:50,270
I took acting classes
when I was at Cambridge.

344
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:51,440
I loved it.

345
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,000
We did Taming
of the Shrew.

346
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,310
Oh, wow. I love
Taming of the Shrew.

347
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,040
I did a paper
on it in high school.

348
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,510
"Who knows not where
a wasp does wear his sting?

349
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,550
In his tail."

350
00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:03,580
"In his tongue"
"Whose tongue?"

351
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,450
"Yours, if you
talk of tails,

352
00:16:05,450 --> 00:16:06,730
and so farewell."

353
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:08,740
"What, with my tongue
in your tail?"

354
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:17,830
I'm regretting
my earlier cattiness.

355
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:20,600
She is an
absolute delight.

356
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:26,890
Wow.

357
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,310
Wow, indeed.

358
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,650
I can't believe we're
finally living together.

359
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,250
Yeah.

360
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,090
You know what would make
this moment perfect?

361
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:42,250
What?

362
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:45,460
A little snack.
You got any string cheese?

363
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,190
No.

364
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:48,890
I-I might have some cheddar.

365
00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:50,760
Not as good.

366
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,500
You can't make strings with it.

367
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,630
Remind me to put it
on your shopping list.

368
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,940
Okay.

369
00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,670
You have
hypo-allergenic detergent?

370
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:00,840
No.

371
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,260
Better put it on the list.

372
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:04,210
If you wash my underwear
with regular soap,

373
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:06,740
I get little red bumps
on my tuchus.

374
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,680
Wait a second.

375
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,120
I'm doing your laundry?

376
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:16,790
Well, honey,
it's not gonna do itself.

377
00:17:16,790 --> 00:17:18,420
Oh, before I forget,

378
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,310
tomorrow morning, you're
driving me to the dentist.

379
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,260
I have to take you?

380
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:25,560
You don't have to take me.
You get to take me.

381
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,620
Wait a minute.
Are you telling me

382
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:31,040
your mother usually takes you
to the dentist?

383
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,600
It's not weird.

384
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,340
There's lots of kids there
with their moms.

385
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:38,540
I can't believe this.

386
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:40,210
What? It's fun.

387
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,480
If I have no cavities,

388
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,750
afterwards,
we go out for a treat.

389
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,950
All right, Howard, let's get
something straight right now.

390
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:49,890
I'm not going
to be your mother.

391
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

392
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,290
Where did that come from?

393
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,630
Who's that?

394
00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:06,100
Is it a
sex criminal?

395
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:09,770
Nobody wants to do
that to you, Ma!

396
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,010
Where were you?

397
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:13,440
Didn't you read my email?

398
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:16,710
You know I can't turn on
that ferkakta computer!

399
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,950
I left you some brisket
on the kitchen counter!

400
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,620
Thank you!

401
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:23,990
Remember
to floss after.

402
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:27,540
We have the dentist
in the morning!

403
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:32,430
Oh, hey.
What's up?

404
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:33,800
I just wanted to
check in on you.

405
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,870
Why?

406
00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:36,570
It seems like the
appropriate thing to do

407
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:38,500
when one's best friend
finds herself replaced

408
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,100
by a smart, beautiful woman

409
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:43,840
with the smoldering sexuality
of a crouched Bengal tiger.

410
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,480
I already told you,
I'm okay with it.

411
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,650
I mean, if anything,
I'm quite pleased

412
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,030
that Leonard
has found someone

413
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:55,040
that makes him so happy.

414
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,620
It's okay, it's okay.

415
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:58,760
Thank you.

416
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,390
Now, let's get these
electrodes attached

417
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,080
and see what's going on in that
pretty little noggin of yours.

418
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,300
Okay.

419
00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:16,150
I smell Chinese food.

420
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,620
It's actually Thai.

421
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,720
You're slipping.

422
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,860
Are Leonard and Priya here?

423
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:25,030
They went to Catalina
for the weekend.

424
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,360
Oh. Where's Raj?

425
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,270
At home, forbidding it.

426
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,670
How about Howard?

427
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,870
I'm given to understand

428
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:35,070
his mother grounded him
for running away.

429
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:38,210
Oh, okay.

430
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:42,050
Well, I guess it's just
the two of us, huh?

431
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,310
Actually, it's
the three of us.

432
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,620
AMY
What up, bestie?

433
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,850
Good news.

434
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:52,320
Thanks to you, I was able
to make a rhesus monkey cry

435
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,490
like a disgraced televangelist.

436
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:57,330
Great.

437
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,600
So, you feeling better?

438
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,700
Not really.

439
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,330
Sheldon, you have
a guest who's upset.

440
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:04,330
Right. I'll make tea.

441
00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:06,890
- Sweetie, it's okay. I don't want tea.
- I'm sorry. It's not optional.

442
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,580
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==

443
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:15,580
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —