1
00:00:04,356 --> 00:00:07,662
Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.

2
00:00:07,662 --> 00:00:09,191
Buona sera.

3
00:00:09,191 --> 00:00:12,078
It means good evening
in Italian.

4
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,745
May I say, having to explain
that to you calls into question

5
00:00:14,825 --> 00:00:17,952
the authenticity
of your ristorante?

6
00:00:18,372 --> 00:00:20,240
Okay, I'm out of here.

7
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,888
Un momento.

8
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,357
Oh, for heaven's sake.

9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,395
Now you're being
deliberately stupid.

10
00:00:25,395 --> 00:00:27,822
Where are you going?

11
00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,321
I'm having dinner
with Priya at Raj's.

12
00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:31,329
I think Howard's going to be
there. You want to join us?

13
00:00:31,329 --> 00:00:32,857
But tonight's Thursday.

14
00:00:32,857 --> 00:00:34,655
On Thursdays, everybody
comes over here

15
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:36,094
and has pizza.

16
00:00:36,094 --> 00:00:37,563
Or a reasonable facsimile

17
00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:39,760
prepared by someone claiming
to be Luigi,

18
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,488
but who sounds suspiciously
like Jackie Chan.

19
00:00:42,498 --> 00:00:45,694
Can't we make a one-time
exception for tonight?

20
00:00:45,694 --> 00:00:47,093
We could.

21
00:00:47,093 --> 00:00:49,411
We could also
stop using the letter "M,"

22
00:00:49,411 --> 00:00:53,457
but I think that idea is
isguided and oronic.

23
00:00:53,457 --> 00:00:55,055
Just come with me to Raj's.

24
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,443
Well, I don't want
to go to a party.

25
00:00:57,443 --> 00:00:59,491
It's not a party.
It's the same group of people

26
00:00:59,491 --> 00:01:01,109
who hang out here
hanging out over there.

27
00:01:01,109 --> 00:01:04,695
I'm sorry, but five people
eating and chatting is a party.

28
00:01:04,695 --> 00:01:07,423
How come it's not a party
when we do it here?

29
00:01:07,423 --> 00:01:09,121
Because we don't
throw parties.

30
00:01:09,131 --> 00:01:11,129
I don't know
what to tell you, Sheldon.

31
00:01:11,129 --> 00:01:12,937
I'm going to see Priya.
Everyone's over there.

32
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,056
You coming or not?

33
00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:16,244
Well, no, sir,
and do you know why?

34
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,262
In a word: tradition.

35
00:01:18,262 --> 00:01:21,958
Every Thursday night
for the last eight years,

36
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:24,605
you and I and our friends
have gathered here

37
00:01:24,605 --> 00:01:28,591
in this very spot to break bread
covered with cheese and sauce,

38
00:01:28,591 --> 00:01:30,729
discuss the issues
of the day,

39
00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:32,987
and yes, share a laugh or two.

40
00:01:34,096 --> 00:01:36,893
But I guess our rich heritage
means nothing to you.

41
00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:38,092
I guess you're right.

42
00:01:38,092 --> 00:01:39,391
- See you later.
- Wait!

43
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,189
Leonard! Wait!

44
00:01:41,189 --> 00:01:43,087
What am I going
to do for dinner?

45
00:01:43,097 --> 00:01:45,195
Come with me to Raj's
and eat there.

46
00:01:45,195 --> 00:01:46,494
I can't do that.

47
00:01:46,494 --> 00:01:49,690
What if he serves haggis
and blood pudding?

48
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:53,527
I really doubt
that's what he'll serve.

49
00:01:53,527 --> 00:01:55,095
But what if he does?

50
00:01:55,095 --> 00:01:56,394
I'll be obliged to dine

51
00:01:56,394 --> 00:01:58,891
on liver and lungs stuffed
in a sheep's stomach.

52
00:01:58,891 --> 00:02:01,658
And frankly, blood pudding is
essentially the same thing.

53
00:02:01,658 --> 00:02:03,856
I don't know why
he's serving both.

54
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:05,195
What do you want to do?

55
00:02:05,195 --> 00:02:07,792
You want to come with me, or
do you want to sit here alone?

56
00:02:07,792 --> 00:02:09,720
No, I'll go
to your haggis party.

57
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,439
But I'm telling you.

58
00:02:11,439 --> 00:02:15,824
This is adness. This is utter
and complete adness.

59
00:02:41,508 --> 00:02:43,357
- Oh, dear!
- What?

60
00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:44,745
Raj's television.

61
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,114
I just realized

62
00:02:46,114 --> 00:02:48,711
we're about to spend an evening
watching a plasma screen

63
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,948
with a cluster of dead pixels
in the upper left-hand corner.

64
00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:53,496
So don't watch TV.

65
00:02:53,496 --> 00:02:54,745
Read a book.

66
00:02:54,745 --> 00:02:56,384
And be a social pariah?

67
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,312
Oh, you know
that's not my style.

68
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,779
Ugh!

69
00:03:02,647 --> 00:03:06,214
The audible sigh is a show
of exasperation, right?

70
00:03:06,214 --> 00:03:07,413
Right.

71
00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:10,280
Is it about me
or the dead pixels?

72
00:03:11,578 --> 00:03:13,117
Hey, you're
just in time.

73
00:03:13,117 --> 00:03:14,416
We made Tex-Mex.

74
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:15,614
Oh, sounds great.

75
00:03:15,614 --> 00:03:17,612
Oh, Indians
making Tex-Mex.

76
00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:19,980
Might as well have had
the Chinese pizza.

77
00:03:21,578 --> 00:03:22,817
Hey, you.

78
00:03:22,817 --> 00:03:25,045
Hi.

79
00:03:25,045 --> 00:03:27,482
That's got to be fun
for you, huh?

80
00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:31,279
Watching Hofstadter
suck the saliva

81
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,747
out of your sister's mouth?

82
00:03:33,976 --> 00:03:36,443
Excuse me. Before this evening
goes any further,

83
00:03:36,443 --> 00:03:39,610
we need to decide
where everyone is going to sit.

84
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,648
There is no assigned seats,
Sheldon.

85
00:03:41,648 --> 00:03:43,476
Just sit anywhere.
Make yourself comfortable.

86
00:03:43,476 --> 00:03:44,915
Oh, what fun.

87
00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:47,942
We're like hippies at a love-in.

88
00:03:47,952 --> 00:03:50,250
Just sit here.

89
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:52,817
Right on, man. Right on.

90
00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:56,314
Oh, look.

91
00:03:56,314 --> 00:04:01,049
it's Harry Potter and 98%
of The Sorcerer's Stone.

92
00:04:01,049 --> 00:04:04,246
Okay, we've
got fajitas

93
00:04:04,246 --> 00:04:06,833
with all the fixins,
so you make your own.

94
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,082
Wonderful.

95
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,880
Dinner, some
assembly required.

96
00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:13,496
Do you want a margarita,
Sheldon?

97
00:04:13,496 --> 00:04:14,575
A margarita?

98
00:04:14,585 --> 00:04:17,213
Where are we?
What is happening?

99
00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,909
Oh. Hey, Sheldon.

100
00:04:20,909 --> 00:04:21,948
What can I get you?

101
00:04:21,948 --> 00:04:24,176
Water. Neat.

102
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,364
With a little umbrella.

103
00:04:26,364 --> 00:04:28,142
Where are all your friends?

104
00:04:28,152 --> 00:04:31,528
Sadly, Penny, this evening,
I am the Dark Knight,

105
00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:33,696
roaming these
mean streets alone.

106
00:04:33,696 --> 00:04:36,014
A windbreaker for my cape,

107
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:40,080
and a stern expression
for my cowl.

108
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:43,117
Okay.

109
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,514
Excuse me?

110
00:04:45,514 --> 00:04:48,182
Isn't this the point
where the world-weary barkeep

111
00:04:48,182 --> 00:04:50,280
absentmindedly
wipes down the bar

112
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:53,017
and coaxes the woes
out of the troubled patron?

113
00:04:53,017 --> 00:04:56,693
Well, I was getting your
stupid umbrella, but all right.

114
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,808
What's troubling you, buddy?

115
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:07,083
I don't think your heart's
in it, but since you asked...

116
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:10,379
Apparently, because
Leonard is dating Raj's sister,

117
00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:12,697
we're all forced
to hang out at his apartment.

118
00:05:12,697 --> 00:05:15,285
Oh, the horror.

119
00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:16,533
Indeed.

120
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,881
Yeah, at one point,
Raj put on reggae music,

121
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,909
and his sister
took off her shoes.

122
00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:23,546
It was like the last days
of Caligula.

123
00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:30,280
Oh, I have to get this.

124
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,078
Umbrella?

125
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:34,615
Ugh!

126
00:05:34,615 --> 00:05:37,482
Wonder
what she's exasperated about.

127
00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:38,811
Hello?

128
00:05:38,811 --> 00:05:40,749
Sheldon, are you all right?

129
00:05:40,749 --> 00:05:42,417
When last we spoke,
you were going to

130
00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:44,945
take a taxi home from Raj's,
but according to Facebook,

131
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,883
you just checked in
at the Cheesecake Factory.

132
00:05:46,883 --> 00:05:48,511
Yes, I was in a taxi,

133
00:05:48,511 --> 00:05:50,649
but the driver
didn't look at all

134
00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:52,248
like the photograph
on his license,

135
00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:54,875
so I leapt out and ran for it.

136
00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:56,284
Wise.

137
00:05:56,284 --> 00:05:58,162
There you go.

138
00:05:58,162 --> 00:06:00,579
Just like recovering alcoholics
drink in the Caribbean.

139
00:06:00,579 --> 00:06:02,497
Hi, bestie.

140
00:06:02,497 --> 00:06:04,076
Oh. Hi, Amy.

141
00:06:04,076 --> 00:06:05,384
How you been?

142
00:06:05,384 --> 00:06:06,983
Fine.

143
00:06:06,983 --> 00:06:09,850
From this angle,
I can see up your nose.

144
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:12,547
Yeah, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?

145
00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:14,246
Don't worry.
My problems can wait

146
00:06:14,246 --> 00:06:16,713
while you two hens
finish your clucking.

147
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:19,410
Look, Sheldon, Leonard
is dating Priya.

148
00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,949
She is staying with Raj.

149
00:06:20,949 --> 00:06:23,816
That means you're all probably
gonna be hanging out there more.

150
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:26,813
Penny, I'm sorry
you got dragged into this.

151
00:06:26,813 --> 00:06:28,012
I know you're devastated

152
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:30,349
that your ex-boyfriend
has found an exciting new lover

153
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,447
with flawless,
caramel-colored skin.

154
00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:35,684
Okay, I'm not upset
about Leonard and Priya.

155
00:06:35,684 --> 00:06:38,411
Your flaring nostrils
indicate otherwise.

156
00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:41,149
Cluck-cluck-cluck.

157
00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,816
Sheldon, look at me.

158
00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:45,145
I think it's time

159
00:06:45,145 --> 00:06:46,343
to face the fact

160
00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:48,651
that Leonard is the nucleus
of your social group.

161
00:06:48,651 --> 00:06:50,150
Where he goes, the group goes.

162
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,678
Leonard the nucleus?

163
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,476
That makes no sense.

164
00:06:53,476 --> 00:06:54,815
I'm the whimsical elf

165
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,983
that everyone looks to
for a good time.

166
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,050
I'm not saying
that you're not fun.

167
00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:03,047
You're the most fun person
I know.

168
00:07:04,245 --> 00:07:06,943
A lot of people think
I'm fun to be around.

169
00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:08,881
Don't be needy, bestie.

170
00:07:08,881 --> 00:07:11,548
That's probably part
of what chased Leonard away.

171
00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:15,075
What I am saying, Sheldon,

172
00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:16,743
is that your group
is Leonard-centric.

173
00:07:16,743 --> 00:07:19,350
If it were a town,
it would be Leonardville.

174
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:22,277
If it were an Islamic nation,
Leonardstan.

175
00:07:22,277 --> 00:07:24,675
If it were the birthplace
of motion pictures,

176
00:07:24,685 --> 00:07:26,883
we'd all be singing
"Hooray for Leonardwood."

177
00:07:26,883 --> 00:07:28,511
Ooh, I got one.

178
00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:30,050
If you guys were a band,

179
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,717
you'd be called Leonard
and the Leonards.

180
00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:36,443
So needy.

181
00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,899
What you doing?

182
00:07:40,899 --> 00:07:43,696
I'm setting out snacks.

183
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,144
You do realize everyone's eating
at Raj's again tonight.

184
00:07:46,144 --> 00:07:50,879
I didn't say the snacks were
for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie?

185
00:07:54,245 --> 00:07:56,513
You're having people over?

186
00:07:56,513 --> 00:07:58,851
Yes. Must be killing you
wondering who.

187
00:07:58,851 --> 00:08:00,309
Fine, I'll tell you.

188
00:08:01,718 --> 00:08:03,077
Stuart from the
comic bookstore,

189
00:08:03,077 --> 00:08:04,575
Barry Kripke from
the university,

190
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,783
Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack

191
00:08:06,783 --> 00:08:08,911
and TV's LeVar Burton.

192
00:08:10,349 --> 00:08:12,078
Really?

193
00:08:12,078 --> 00:08:13,846
LeVar Burton's coming here?

194
00:08:13,846 --> 00:08:16,383
Possibly. I Tweeted him.

195
00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:20,309
Okay, well, tell him
I loved him on Star Trek.

196
00:08:20,309 --> 00:08:23,746
Please, Leonard, stop trying
to horn in on my new friends.

197
00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:26,283
Of course. Good night.

198
00:08:26,283 --> 00:08:28,701
Leonard.
Yeah?

199
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:31,178
We had a good run, you and I.

200
00:08:33,276 --> 00:08:35,814
Okay.

201
00:08:36,613 --> 00:08:38,681
But change is a part of life.

202
00:08:38,681 --> 00:08:40,579
It certainly is.

203
00:08:40,579 --> 00:08:42,547
Okay.

204
00:08:43,476 --> 00:08:45,244
I have guests coming.

205
00:08:45,244 --> 00:08:48,611
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask you to leave now.

206
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,448
I am leaving.

207
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,946
Don't make this harder
than it is, Leonard.

208
00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:55,814
Good-bye, Sheldon.

209
00:08:55,814 --> 00:08:57,612
And good-bye to you, sir.

210
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,414
He'll be back.

211
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,993
Of course I'll be back.

212
00:09:06,993 --> 00:09:09,180
I live here!

213
00:09:24,135 --> 00:09:25,474
Well, it would appear

214
00:09:25,474 --> 00:09:27,772
LeVar Burton
won't be joining us.

215
00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,040
Let's get started.

216
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,407
I thought we'd begin
by going around the room,

217
00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:33,676
introducing ourselves

218
00:09:33,676 --> 00:09:36,103
and saying a little bit
about why we're here.

219
00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:37,802
Okay.
I'm Sheldon.

220
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,041
Uh, for regular readers

221
00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:41,538
of The New England Journal
of High Energy Physics,

222
00:09:41,538 --> 00:09:43,007
I need no introduction.

223
00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:44,405
If you're not familiar

224
00:09:44,405 --> 00:09:45,684
with that publication,

225
00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:48,341
there's a free copy
in your goody bag.

226
00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:52,217
Stuart?

227
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:55,334
Um... Hi.

228
00:09:55,334 --> 00:09:56,603
I'm Stuart.

229
00:09:56,603 --> 00:09:58,401
I run a comic bookstore,

230
00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:02,367
which for financial reasons,
I'm currently living in.

231
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:04,135
And I guess

232
00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:07,602
what I'm hoping for most out
of tonight is a hot shower.

233
00:10:07,602 --> 00:10:09,470
It's very
nice, Stuart.

234
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,218
Zack?

235
00:10:11,218 --> 00:10:13,336
I'm Zack, and I'm, uh...

236
00:10:14,435 --> 00:10:16,633
Uh...

237
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,940
Could you come back to me?

238
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,558
Of course.

239
00:10:21,558 --> 00:10:23,536
Barry?

240
00:10:23,536 --> 00:10:24,705
I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here

241
00:10:24,705 --> 00:10:27,272
because you told me
there was going to be a whaffle.

242
00:10:28,571 --> 00:10:30,909
When is the whaffle?

243
00:10:30,909 --> 00:10:32,367
Patience, patience, Barry.

244
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:33,556
The whaffle...

245
00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:36,803
The raffle is the grand finale

246
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,509
to an evening-long festival
of fun and folly.

247
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,607
- One more question...
- Yes, you must be present to win.

248
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:46,433
Okay, I'm ready.

249
00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,301
I'm Zach, and I'm, uh...

250
00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:50,769
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?

251
00:10:54,635 --> 00:10:56,133
Oh, hey.

252
00:10:56,143 --> 00:10:58,771
Hi.
Yo, P-dog.

253
00:10:58,771 --> 00:10:59,890
What's up?

254
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:01,168
We're here to kidnap you

255
00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:02,737
for a girls' night out.

256
00:11:02,737 --> 00:11:06,383
the term "kidnap"
is being used playfully.

257
00:11:06,393 --> 00:11:08,601
I kind of figured that.

258
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,338
Good. Now put this pillowcase
over your head.

259
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,436
No.

260
00:11:13,436 --> 00:11:15,274
She used to be much more fun,

261
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:18,371
until Leonard punched her
in the heart.

262
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,208
We just thought you
might want to go out

263
00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:23,336
and have a good time,
maybe go dancing.

264
00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:25,874
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm
not really in the mood.

265
00:11:25,874 --> 00:11:27,942
You do understand
that it will distract you

266
00:11:27,942 --> 00:11:29,740
from obsessing
over the rich variety

267
00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:31,138
of sweet loving
that your ex-boyfriend

268
00:11:31,138 --> 00:11:34,205
is currently receiving
from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.

269
00:11:34,205 --> 00:11:36,673
Okay, look,

270
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:38,141
if I agree to go out
with you guys,

271
00:11:38,141 --> 00:11:39,840
will you promise
to stop pestering me

272
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:40,869
about Leonard and Priya?

273
00:11:40,869 --> 00:11:42,567
Yes.
Sure.

274
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,175
All right. I'll go change.
Come on in.

275
00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:46,723
If you'd have let me
bring the chloroform,

276
00:11:46,723 --> 00:11:49,340
we wouldn't have had to put up
with all this jibber-jabber.

277
00:11:52,437 --> 00:11:54,435
Anyway, after we
get done snowboarding,

278
00:11:54,435 --> 00:11:56,553
I go back to the lodge
and get in the Jacuzzi.

279
00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:59,670
There's no one around, so
naturally, I'm free-balling it.

280
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,668
Next thing I know,

281
00:12:01,668 --> 00:12:03,666
this beautiful chick shows up,

282
00:12:03,676 --> 00:12:05,933
drunk out of her skull,
wants to get in with me.

283
00:12:05,943 --> 00:12:07,142
Question.

284
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:10,509
Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?

285
00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:13,706
Really? That's
your question?

286
00:12:13,706 --> 00:12:14,675
What's the difference?

287
00:12:14,675 --> 00:12:16,942
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand.

288
00:12:16,942 --> 00:12:18,801
"Hot tub" is the generic term.

289
00:12:18,801 --> 00:12:19,999
I.E., all Jacuzzis

290
00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:21,108
are hot tubs,

291
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,606
but not all
hot tubs are Jacuzzis.

292
00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:26,533
Is that like
all thumbs are fingers,

293
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:28,641
but not all fingers are thumbs?

294
00:12:28,641 --> 00:12:31,608
Surprisingly, yes.

295
00:12:31,608 --> 00:12:33,935
Nice.

296
00:12:33,935 --> 00:12:36,942
Now, what exactly are toes?

297
00:12:38,571 --> 00:12:41,008
Can you please get back
to the drunk girl?

298
00:12:41,008 --> 00:12:43,606
I'd like something to think
about in the shower.

299
00:12:43,606 --> 00:12:44,835
Oh, yeah.

300
00:12:44,835 --> 00:12:47,102
Right. Anyway, she takes off
all of her clothes,

301
00:12:47,102 --> 00:12:49,500
climbs into the hot tub,
and the first thing I notice...

302
00:12:49,510 --> 00:12:51,838
The water level rose.

303
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:54,405
No.

304
00:12:54,405 --> 00:12:55,554
Of course it did.

305
00:12:55,554 --> 00:12:56,803
It's said that Archimedes,

306
00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,191
the ancient Greek mathematician,

307
00:12:58,191 --> 00:13:00,339
discovered the principle
of displacement

308
00:13:00,339 --> 00:13:02,207
while taking a bath.

309
00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:04,275
Terrific.
Go ahead, Zack.

310
00:13:04,275 --> 00:13:06,843
Naked drunk girl,
free-balling, continue.

311
00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:09,140
Forgive me,
but I think you'll find

312
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,669
my story is
more interesting.

313
00:13:10,669 --> 00:13:13,236
Does yours
have wet breasts in it?

314
00:13:13,236 --> 00:13:15,034
Better.

315
00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:16,673
It has a gold crown.

316
00:13:16,673 --> 00:13:17,901
You see, the king

317
00:13:17,901 --> 00:13:19,670
wondered how much gold was in it

318
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:22,137
and charged Archimedes with
coming up with the solution.

319
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:24,335
Because the crown was
irregularly shaped,

320
00:13:24,335 --> 00:13:25,554
there was no way
to mathematically

321
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,603
determine its volume.

322
00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:29,720
But, while bathing,
Archimedes realized

323
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,088
he could immerse the crown

324
00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:34,805
and measure the amount
the water rose.

325
00:13:36,902 --> 00:13:39,839
So, long story short,
I nailed her.

326
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:47,002
When he finished,
he shouted "Eureka!"

327
00:13:47,002 --> 00:13:49,000
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!"

328
00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:53,206
Don't know why.
Just do.

329
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:56,523
All right, that concludes

330
00:13:56,523 --> 00:13:58,840
the "getting to know you"
portion of the evening.

331
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,718
Who's ready to play some
vintage video games?

332
00:14:01,718 --> 00:14:03,506
And tonight's selections include

333
00:14:03,506 --> 00:14:07,022
ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue
in Gargamel's Castle,"

334
00:14:07,022 --> 00:14:09,190
Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch,"

335
00:14:09,190 --> 00:14:12,007
and for you
text adventure aficionados,

336
00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:14,405
"Zork."

337
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:18,301
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.

338
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:23,216
That all sucks
the big hairy meatball.

339
00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:24,275
How about I go get

340
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:25,933
the karaoke machine
out of my car,

341
00:14:25,943 --> 00:14:28,771
get plastered and blow
the roof off this place?

342
00:14:28,771 --> 00:14:30,109
Great, I'll make a beer run.

343
00:14:30,109 --> 00:14:31,738
And I'll take a shower.

344
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,006
We'll meet back here in 15.

345
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,675
Check.

346
00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:41,138
I'm unhappy.

347
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:43,935
This is delicious.

348
00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:45,184
Where'd you learn
to make chili?

349
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,372
When I was at
university in England,

350
00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:48,870
my flatmate was
from Texas.

351
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:52,507
I hope she wasn't anything
like my flatmate from Texas.

352
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:55,004
Sheldon is a bit
quirky, isn't he?

353
00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:57,072
Oh, please.
That crazy bastard's looking

354
00:14:57,072 --> 00:15:00,209
at quirky
in the rearview mirror.

355
00:15:02,577 --> 00:15:04,375
Did you know that,
per our roommate agreement,

356
00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,942
I have to wash my feet
before I get in the shower?

357
00:15:06,942 --> 00:15:07,971
And not in the sink.

358
00:15:07,971 --> 00:15:10,469
We each have special buckets.

359
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:12,507
Raj, did you ever
tell your sister

360
00:15:12,507 --> 00:15:14,774
about the time Sheldon
got punched by Bill Gates?

361
00:15:14,774 --> 00:15:16,942
- Oh, God, you're kidding.
- Nope.

362
00:15:16,942 --> 00:15:18,671
Gates gave a speech
at the university.

363
00:15:18,671 --> 00:15:20,309
Sheldon went up to him
afterwards and said,

364
00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:22,007
"Maybe if you weren't
so distracted

365
00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:23,476
by sick children in Africa,

366
00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:26,403
you could have put a little more
thought into Windows Vista."

367
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,168
Bam. Right in the nose.

368
00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:34,605
Made me proud to own a PC.

369
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,673
I'd like to propose a toast

370
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:39,270
to a rare and wonderful
Sheldon-free evening.

371
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:42,707
Hear, hear.
Cheers.

372
00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:44,535
You realize that's the first
time we've ever done that

373
00:15:44,535 --> 00:15:46,353
without having
to listen to Sheldon tell us

374
00:15:46,353 --> 00:15:48,141
why it's called a toast?

375
00:15:48,141 --> 00:15:50,339
Why is it
called a toast?

376
00:15:50,339 --> 00:15:51,608
Oh, the ancient Romans

377
00:15:51,608 --> 00:15:53,705
put spiced toast
in their punch bowls.

378
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:58,840
Sheldon tells it better.

379
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,569
He kind of does.

380
00:16:00,569 --> 00:16:01,807
Yeah.

381
00:16:03,536 --> 00:16:06,473
Aw, hell, I miss him.

382
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,368
So, where do you guys
want to go dancing?

383
00:16:11,368 --> 00:16:13,136
We were hoping
you'd know a place.

384
00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:15,504
Yes, perhaps somewhere
packed tightly

385
00:16:15,504 --> 00:16:16,802
with young, beautiful bodies

386
00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:18,471
sweating and writhing
against each other

387
00:16:18,471 --> 00:16:20,069
in a glorious orgy
of the flesh.

388
00:16:21,338 --> 00:16:23,136
Oh, yeah, I know that place.

389
00:16:24,904 --> 00:16:26,073
What do you think?

390
00:16:26,073 --> 00:16:27,701
That should display enough
of your bosom

391
00:16:27,701 --> 00:16:30,768
to attract a new mate,
or a hungry infant.

392
00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:34,035
Okay, let's go
through this one more time.

393
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,773
Just because
Leonard has a new girlfriend

394
00:16:35,773 --> 00:16:38,321
does not mean I need to go out
and hook up with some guy.

395
00:16:38,321 --> 00:16:39,999
But you could
if you wanted to, right?

396
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:41,638
Well, yeah, I guess.

397
00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:43,705
Pick out the hottest guy
in the room,

398
00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:46,133
take him home,
do unspeakable things to him,

399
00:16:46,143 --> 00:16:48,271
then kick him to the curb
with a smile on his face

400
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,968
and teeth marks on his heinie?

401
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,825
More or less.

402
00:16:53,825 --> 00:16:56,972
What's that like?

403
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,571
I don't know.

404
00:16:58,571 --> 00:16:59,939
It's fun while
you're doing it.

405
00:16:59,939 --> 00:17:02,107
And then after,
it's mostly embarrassment,

406
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:04,505
self-loathing
and regret.

407
00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:08,870
I would take that deal
all day long.

408
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:11,308
Yeah, well, it's not
gonna happen tonight.

409
00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:12,736
You know, for the
first time in my life,

410
00:17:12,736 --> 00:17:14,575
I am not
in a relationship,

411
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,003
and I'm totally
okay with it.

412
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,441
You know, if being on
your own is new to you,

413
00:17:18,441 --> 00:17:21,038
I'd be happy to share some
tension-relieving techniques

414
00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:24,904
for ladies I've perfected
over the years.

415
00:17:24,904 --> 00:17:27,841
For example, do you have
an electric toothbrush?

416
00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:30,808
Um, no.

417
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:33,436
You should get one.

418
00:17:33,436 --> 00:17:35,474
What's that?

419
00:17:35,474 --> 00:17:37,971
It appears
to be something preserved

420
00:17:37,971 --> 00:17:40,019
between two pieces of acrylic.

421
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:42,007
Oh, it's a snowflake
from the North Pole.

422
00:17:42,007 --> 00:17:43,506
Leonard gave it
to me last year.

423
00:17:43,506 --> 00:17:46,173
Oh, God, that is so romantic.

424
00:17:46,173 --> 00:17:48,271
Yeah, it was.

425
00:17:48,271 --> 00:17:50,668
Leonard's really one of a kind.

426
00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:52,606
Saying that
while holding a snowflake

427
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:54,674
is a bit heavy-handed,
don't you think?

428
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,022
Let me see that.

429
00:17:59,809 --> 00:18:01,018
Oh, screw it.

430
00:18:01,018 --> 00:18:02,537
I can deal with
a little self-loathing.

431
00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:04,974
Let's go find me
a heinie to bite.

432
00:18:04,974 --> 00:18:06,602
Outstanding.

433
00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:08,940
And if we fail,
we can always stop at CVS

434
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:12,067
and pick you out
a nice toothbrush.

435
00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:15,384
I call mine "Gerard."

436
00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:20,469
That's kind of creepy.

437
00:18:40,638 --> 00:18:43,506
Anybody do "Walking
on Sunshine" yet?

438
00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:46,842
No.

439
00:18:46,842 --> 00:18:48,540
Dibs.

440
00:18:51,607 --> 00:18:53,735
I'm sorry, Sheldon
bought a loom

441
00:18:53,735 --> 00:18:55,933
and learned
how to weave?

442
00:18:55,943 --> 00:18:57,372
He actually
got pretty good.

443
00:18:57,372 --> 00:18:59,869
He made us
all matching serapes.

444
00:18:59,869 --> 00:19:03,006
I still wear mine
when there's a nip in the air.

445
00:19:03,006 --> 00:19:05,034
Now, was this before

446
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:07,142
or after he adopted
the 25 cats?

447
00:19:07,142 --> 00:19:09,040
Long before the cats.

448
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,538
I think it was
around the time he tried

449
00:19:10,538 --> 00:19:13,675
to declare our apartment
a sovereign nation.

450
00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:16,033
I still have some
of the currency.

451
00:19:17,202 --> 00:19:18,770
All my friends.

452
00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:23,575
All my friends.

453
00:19:23,575 --> 00:19:26,173
I think it's like Beetlejuice.

454
00:19:26,173 --> 00:19:28,800
We said his name too many times.

455
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,966
Come on in.
Thank you.

456
00:19:32,976 --> 00:19:35,374
Hey. I thought you were
with your new buddies.

457
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,772
I had to leave.

458
00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:39,070
They were having fun wrong.

459
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:41,507
Come here, Sheldon.
Sit here with me.

460
00:19:41,507 --> 00:19:42,686
Thank you.

461
00:19:42,686 --> 00:19:45,773
Would you like some
homemade chili?

462
00:19:45,773 --> 00:19:47,641
Are there beans in it?

463
00:19:47,641 --> 00:19:49,669
Yes.

464
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:50,838
Then it's not chili.

465
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:52,536
Real chili has no beans in it,

466
00:19:52,536 --> 00:19:54,405
but you're
from a foreign land,

467
00:19:54,405 --> 00:19:57,142
so your ignorance
is forgiven.

468
00:19:57,142 --> 00:20:00,169
Sheldon, do you want some
or not?

469
00:20:00,169 --> 00:20:02,716
Yes, please.

470
00:20:02,726 --> 00:20:06,632
Your girlfriend's a
little short-tempered.

471
00:20:06,642 --> 00:20:09,100
I'd like
to propose a toast

472
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,467
to friends,
no matter how quirky.

473
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:14,005
Cheers.

474
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:17,971
Priya, do you know
why this is called a toast?

475
00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:19,639
Actually, I do.

476
00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:21,807
I believe the Romans
used to put spiced toast

477
00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:23,835
in their punch bowls.

478
00:20:23,835 --> 00:20:27,142
She's also a bit
of a know-it-all.

479
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,268
Mmm. This is good.

480
00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:33,136
Whatever it is.

481
00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:49,330
Hello? I...

482
00:20:53,226 --> 00:20:55,523
Oh, I don't think so.

483
00:20:57,401 --> 00:20:59,399
I am so done with Twitter.

484
00:21:00,878 --> 00:21:03,875
— Sync, corrected by elderman —
— for www.addic7ed.com —

485
00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:06,872
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —