1
00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:06,667
Hey, do me a favor
and take table seven.

2
00:00:06,687 --> 00:00:08,959
You mean the one
with my 118-pound

3
00:00:08,959 --> 00:00:10,560
rock-hard stud of a fiancé

4
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:13,884
who's prone to canker
sores and pinkeye?

5
00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:16,787
Nah, I prefer to look at it as
the one with my ex-boyfriend

6
00:00:16,797 --> 00:00:19,469
and his gorgeous, successful
and sophisticated girlfriend,

7
00:00:19,469 --> 00:00:21,441
who makes me feel like
a toothless Okie.

8
00:00:23,754 --> 00:00:26,096
Do you want me to spill
hot soup on her?

9
00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:29,209
Oh, please— you're not
that kind of person.

10
00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:30,350
I know.

11
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,593
But if she orders
something low-fat

12
00:00:32,593 --> 00:00:35,465
I'll totally give her
the full-fat version.

13
00:00:37,347 --> 00:00:38,809
Uh, that's my water.

14
00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:39,920
What?

15
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,191
My water.
You're drinking it.

16
00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,704
D-Dear Lord!

17
00:00:43,704 --> 00:00:45,736
Have you been drinking it?

18
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,517
Yes. It's my water.

19
00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:49,019
Well, that's it then.

20
00:00:49,019 --> 00:00:51,862
I'm dead.

21
00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:53,604
Here we go...

22
00:00:53,604 --> 00:00:56,316
I'm sorry, do I really need
to connect the dots for you?

23
00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:57,948
The backwash into this glass

24
00:00:57,948 --> 00:01:00,530
is every pathogen that calls
your mouth home, sweet home.

25
00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:04,004
Not to mention the visitors who
arrive on the dancing tongue

26
00:01:04,004 --> 00:01:05,916
of your subtropical girlfriend.

27
00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:08,659
Hey! That's my sister

28
00:01:08,659 --> 00:01:10,230
and my country
you're talking about.

29
00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:11,932
Leonard may have
defiled one,

30
00:01:11,932 --> 00:01:14,214
but I won't have you
talking smack about the other.

31
00:01:15,245 --> 00:01:16,957
You guys ready to order?

32
00:01:16,957 --> 00:01:19,199
Yes, I'd like a seven-day
course of penicillin,

33
00:01:19,199 --> 00:01:23,644
some, uh, syrup of ipecac—
to induce vomiting— and a mint.

34
00:01:23,644 --> 00:01:25,716
I don't understand.

35
00:01:25,716 --> 00:01:27,187
He drank from
Leonard's glass.

36
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,599
"He drank from
Leonard's glass"--

37
00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:31,031
the words they'll be
carving into my tombstone.

38
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,114
That's actually my napkin.

39
00:01:34,114 --> 00:01:35,115
Oh, this is a nightmare!

40
00:01:35,115 --> 00:01:37,988
Where are you going?
To the bar,

41
00:01:37,988 --> 00:01:40,400
to sterilize my mouth
with alcohol.

42
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,043
Gang way! Dead man walking!

43
00:02:06,847 --> 00:02:09,379
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —

44
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,111
All right. Here you go.

45
00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:12,613
Two lemonades,

46
00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:14,414
one iced tea

47
00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:16,787
and a root beer for Priya.

48
00:02:16,787 --> 00:02:20,931
- Is it diet?
- That's what you ordered.

49
00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:23,764
Thank you.

50
00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:24,835
Hey, have you and Howard

51
00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:26,236
started planning
your wedding yet?

52
00:02:26,236 --> 00:02:28,508
Yeah. We're thinking
of having it on a cliff

53
00:02:28,508 --> 00:02:29,910
overlooking the ocean.

54
00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:32,482
Nothing soothes
those pre-wedding jitters

55
00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:35,816
like the thought
of falling and drowning.

56
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:37,327
What did your mother say

57
00:02:37,327 --> 00:02:38,729
when you told her you were
getting married?

58
00:02:38,729 --> 00:02:40,100
He hasn't told her yet.

59
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,401
He's waiting for
the right time.

60
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:45,175
I was thinking of weaving
it into her eulogy.

61
00:02:45,175 --> 00:02:48,178
Howard, you've got
to tell your mother.

62
00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:49,379
Hey, have you told your parents
you're dating

63
00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:51,381
this short glass
of skim milk here?

64
00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:55,385
Uh... that's different.

65
00:02:55,395 --> 00:02:57,427
First of all,
we're not engaged;

66
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,199
and second,
Indian parents

67
00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:00,961
are very protective
of their children.

68
00:03:00,961 --> 00:03:03,003
Right, right,
whereas Jewish mothers

69
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:06,566
take a casual, la-di-da
approach to their sons.

70
00:03:08,979 --> 00:03:12,252
I gargled with tequila and may
have swallowed a teeny bit.

71
00:03:12,252 --> 00:03:13,413
- You all right?
- Fine.

72
00:03:13,423 --> 00:03:14,925
Thank you for asking.

73
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,957
I love you so much.

74
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:22,062
Fire demon.

75
00:03:22,062 --> 00:03:24,705
Ooh, fire demon.

76
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,537
Sheldon's turning up the heat...

77
00:03:29,379 --> 00:03:30,641
Troll master.

78
00:03:30,651 --> 00:03:32,082
Check it! Howard pulls one out

79
00:03:32,082 --> 00:03:34,484
from under the bridge. Nice!

80
00:03:36,186 --> 00:03:37,397
Water nymph.

81
00:03:37,397 --> 00:03:38,799
Oh, yeah, she's got puddles

82
00:03:38,799 --> 00:03:40,801
in all the right places.

83
00:03:41,602 --> 00:03:42,803
Could you please
play the game

84
00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:44,334
without commenting
on every card?

85
00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:46,576
Sorry.

86
00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,909
Walking tree.

87
00:03:52,522 --> 00:03:54,184
Last one.

88
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:56,927
I'm taking a stroll
and I'm sporting wood.

89
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,544
Okay, the Eagle has landed.

90
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,006
What's going on?

91
00:04:06,016 --> 00:04:07,207
Bernadette
and my mother are having

92
00:04:07,217 --> 00:04:09,419
a get-to-know-you lunch
at the Old Town Deli.

93
00:04:09,419 --> 00:04:10,751
Oh, that sounds lovely.

94
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,792
Hope so.

95
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,123
Of course, if history
is any indication,

96
00:04:13,123 --> 00:04:14,124
my mother will swallow her whole

97
00:04:14,124 --> 00:04:17,127
and spit out her bones
like an owl.

98
00:04:17,998 --> 00:04:20,100
Have you met
Bernadette's parents?

99
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,142
You mean Adolf and Eva?

100
00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:24,815
Not yet.

101
00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:27,748
One goose step at a time.

102
00:04:27,748 --> 00:04:29,750
Sheldon,
that's my water.

103
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,121
Oh, dear Lord!

104
00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:36,496
That's not your water.

105
00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:39,339
I know.

106
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:42,943
Where's the mouthwash?

107
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,286
"Where" indeed.

108
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:51,561
Ma, I'm home!

109
00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:52,963
Where are you?

110
00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:56,406
I'm in the toilet!

111
00:04:56,406 --> 00:04:58,508
So, how'd it go?

112
00:04:58,508 --> 00:04:59,840
Too soon to say!

113
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,212
I'm not done yet!

114
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,817
No, I mean lunch, today,
with Bernadette!

115
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:08,689
Oh!

116
00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:10,130
I had a pastrami
sandwich.

117
00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:12,332
She had eggplant lasagna.

118
00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:15,806
Like that's what a person
orders in a Jewish deli.

119
00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:20,380
Besides food, did you get along?
Did you talk?

120
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:24,014
Oh, sure! Did you know
she's going to school

121
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:26,486
to become a
microbiologist?

122
00:05:27,487 --> 00:05:29,890
No, she never mentioned it.

123
00:05:31,201 --> 00:05:35,135
I bet she did and
you didn't listen!

124
00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:38,408
Yeah, that's probably it.
So, what do you think?

125
00:05:38,408 --> 00:05:40,681
Do you like her?
She's great, huh?

126
00:05:40,681 --> 00:05:42,082
She's a lovely girl!

127
00:05:42,082 --> 00:05:43,794
Cute as a button!

128
00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:48,098
That's good to hear,
'cause I've got some news.

129
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,670
I hope it's
good news,

130
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:52,973
because I've got nothing but
disappointment in here!

131
00:06:01,521 --> 00:06:04,354
Bernadette and I
are getting married.

132
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,672
Ma?

133
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,404
You too busy bearing down?

134
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,548
Ma?

135
00:06:19,549 --> 00:06:22,452
Oh, my God, Ma? Ma? Ma?

136
00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:24,524
Stand back,
I'm gonna break the door down!

137
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,715
Son of a bitch!
Ma, help!

138
00:06:38,218 --> 00:06:39,259
Hey.

139
00:06:39,259 --> 00:06:40,591
Hello.

140
00:06:40,591 --> 00:06:41,862
Haven't
seen you in a while.

141
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,193
How's it going?

142
00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:46,667
Oh, other than waiting out
the exponential growth period

143
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,538
of the virulent organisms

144
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,210
trooping through
my microvilli

145
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:54,484
into my circulatory system—
hunky-dory.

146
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:01,031
Did I say something
amusing?

147
00:07:01,031 --> 00:07:04,735
I don't know, maybe,
I have no idea what you said.

148
00:07:04,735 --> 00:07:08,168
So your mirth is merely
a discharge of nervous energy

149
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,611
with no semantic content at all?

150
00:07:10,611 --> 00:07:13,614
My mirth. Classic.

151
00:07:13,614 --> 00:07:16,156
Is there a station
coming up

152
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:19,630
where I can board your
giggling train of thought?

153
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,802
It's not a big deal, Sheldon.

154
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,563
It's just,
ever since Leonard's been

155
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:26,036
dating Raj's sister,
I've had to keep my distance.

156
00:07:26,036 --> 00:07:28,949
I don't get to hear
all your jibber-jabber.

157
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,310
Jibber-jabber?

158
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,952
I don't jibber-jabber.

159
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,924
What are you doing
at work these days?

160
00:07:33,924 --> 00:07:37,127
Oh, I'm working on
time-dependent backgrounds

161
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:38,528
in string theory,

162
00:07:38,528 --> 00:07:40,060
specifically quantum
field theory

163
00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:42,372
in "d-dimensional"
de Sitter space.

164
00:07:43,774 --> 00:07:46,707
Okay, come on, even you have
to admit that's jibber-jabber.

165
00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:50,150
Interesting, do you know

166
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:52,322
where the phrase
"jibber-jabber" comes from?

167
00:07:52,322 --> 00:07:54,795
Oh, my God,
you're about to jibber-jabber

168
00:07:54,795 --> 00:07:56,767
about jibber-jabber.

169
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,072
Howard and his mother
are at the hospital.

170
00:08:02,072 --> 00:08:03,874
- Come on, we gotta go.
- Oh, my God! What happened?

171
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,075
I don't know, I just got a text.
Come on, hurry.

172
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,917
Okay.

173
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,792
Sheldon, let's go!

174
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,864
To a hospital?

175
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:15,395
Full of sick people?

176
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,679
Oh, I don't think so.

177
00:08:18,679 --> 00:08:21,682
Okay, well, your friend and his
mother are there, we're going.

178
00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:23,513
I can't.

179
00:08:23,513 --> 00:08:25,856
Oh, don't tell me you're
afraid of germs.

180
00:08:25,856 --> 00:08:29,159
Not all germs.

181
00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:31,561
Just the ones that will kill me.

182
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:34,174
It's the same way I'm not
afraid of all steak knives—

183
00:08:34,174 --> 00:08:37,077
just the ones that might be
plunged in my thorax.

184
00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:39,710
Fine, I'll tell Howard
you didn't come

185
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,751
because you're more concerned

186
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:42,122
about your own well-being
than his.

187
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,955
I would think
he would know that.

188
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,428
Okay, you know what?
You are unbelievable.

189
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,100
You buy all these
superhero T-shirts,

190
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,441
but when it's time for you

191
00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:52,903
to step up
and do the right thing,

192
00:08:52,903 --> 00:08:54,815
you just hide
in the laundry room.

193
00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:57,648
Fine, I'll go.

194
00:08:58,819 --> 00:09:01,922
Just for the record,
my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.

195
00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,194
She went in to
visit my Uncle Roger,

196
00:09:04,194 --> 00:09:06,697
caught something and bit
the dust a week later.

197
00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:09,009
The two of them
now share a coffee can

198
00:09:09,009 --> 00:09:10,510
on my mother's mantel.

199
00:09:16,216 --> 00:09:18,018
So I knocked down
the bathroom door,

200
00:09:18,078 --> 00:09:19,509
picked up my poor
unconscious mother,

201
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:20,651
carried her to the car,

202
00:09:20,651 --> 00:09:23,654
and drove like a madman
to the emergency room.

203
00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:25,255
You're a real
hero, Howard.

204
00:09:25,255 --> 00:09:27,527
No, I did what
any son would do.

205
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:31,171
Hang on a second—
you picked up your mother?

206
00:09:32,302 --> 00:09:35,946
Her own legs
are barely able to do that.

207
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,179
I was filled
with adrenaline.

208
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,952
It happens to be how women
lift cars off babies.

209
00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:44,895
Yeah, I'm saying,
it'd be easier to lift a car.

210
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:49,099
What can I tell you?
After I found the courage

211
00:09:49,099 --> 00:09:51,842
to put her pants back on,
I was unstoppable.

212
00:09:53,373 --> 00:09:54,815
So, how is she?

213
00:09:54,815 --> 00:09:56,777
They're running tests—
I don't know.

214
00:09:56,777 --> 00:10:00,490
It may have been a heart attack
or heart-attack-like event.

215
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:01,551
What's the difference?

216
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:03,293
A heart-attack-like event

217
00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:06,226
is an event
that's like a heart attack.

218
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:09,239
Thanks for clearing that up.

219
00:10:09,239 --> 00:10:12,112
Regardless, coronary problems
are eminently treatable.

220
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,384
What's more likely going
to kill Howard's mother

221
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:15,646
are the
antibiotic-resistant

222
00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:17,648
super-bugs festering
in every nook and cranny

223
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,189
of this hospital.

224
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,862
Okay, you're not helping.

225
00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:24,364
Disagree.

226
00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:27,738
Go sit over there.

227
00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:29,940
I'll sit over there—
it looks cleaner.

228
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,555
Is there a history of
heart disease in your family?

229
00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:39,660
My family is the history
of heart disease.

230
00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:40,951
There's a cave painting
in France

231
00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:43,163
of one of my ancestors
doing this:

232
00:10:46,637 --> 00:10:49,139
So it's probably genetic.

233
00:10:49,139 --> 00:10:50,811
Well, maybe.

234
00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:53,844
Mom also had just gotten some
news that might have upset her.

235
00:10:53,844 --> 00:10:55,215
What?

236
00:10:55,215 --> 00:10:56,647
It's not important.

237
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,589
Come on, Howard,
I'm going to be your wife.

238
00:10:58,589 --> 00:11:00,320
You can share
anything with me.

239
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,363
You'd think that.
But no.

240
00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:09,539
You told her we were
going to get married

241
00:11:09,539 --> 00:11:11,141
and she had
a heart attack?

242
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:14,855
You can't take
that personally.

243
00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:16,817
How else is she supposed
to take it?

244
00:11:16,817 --> 00:11:18,058
What you've got to

245
00:11:18,058 --> 00:11:21,692
keep in mind is that
ever since my dad left,

246
00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:24,504
I've been the whole world
to my mother.

247
00:11:24,504 --> 00:11:26,707
I mean, she'd be
threatened by any woman

248
00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:29,640
who can give me
what she can't.

249
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:32,482
You mean sexual
intercourse?

250
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:39,349
Well, when you say it like
that you make it sound creepy.

251
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:40,550
What happened?

252
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:41,792
Howard's mother had
a heart attack

253
00:11:41,882 --> 00:11:43,413
because I have
sex with him

254
00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:45,145
and she can't.

255
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,672
Bernie, wait!

256
00:11:51,672 --> 00:11:56,286
I'll give you $1,000
if you'll drive me home.

257
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,590
Nice of you to
come for Howard.

258
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:02,462
Well, he's my friend.
It's what you do.

259
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:06,837
I'm sorry, did
I miss something?

260
00:12:06,837 --> 00:12:08,769
It's just so weird.

261
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,741
Howard Wolowitz
is my friend.

262
00:12:10,741 --> 00:12:13,343
You know, once he tried to
stick his tongue down my throat

263
00:12:13,343 --> 00:12:14,645
and I broke his nose.

264
00:12:14,645 --> 00:12:17,217
That's a little easier
to believe

265
00:12:17,217 --> 00:12:18,388
than he's your friend.

266
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:20,390
Yeah, tell me about it.

267
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,433
You know, my brother had a group
of friends like this in India.

268
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:25,896
They dressed up in leotards and
goggles and called themselves

269
00:12:25,906 --> 00:12:27,838
the New Delhi
Power Rangers.

270
00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:30,941
You mean when
he was little.

271
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:33,714
Not as little as
you'd want him to be.

272
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:37,618
You know,
this stuff is horrible.

273
00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:39,519
You want to see if we
can find the cafeteria

274
00:12:39,529 --> 00:12:40,931
and get real coffee?
Sure.

275
00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:42,362
We're going to the cafeteria
to get some coffee.

276
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,563
You want anything?

277
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,435
I'm fine.

278
00:12:45,435 --> 00:12:47,908
That's nice that
they're getting along.

279
00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:50,410
Your girlfriend and your
ex-girlfriend are hanging out together?

280
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:53,784
Oh, yeah, that can
only be good for you.

281
00:12:56,857 --> 00:12:58,188
What are you talking about?

282
00:12:58,188 --> 00:12:59,630
One of them
broke up with you.

283
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:02,132
Do you really want her
telling the other one why?

284
00:13:02,132 --> 00:13:04,134
I don't care.

285
00:13:04,134 --> 00:13:06,146
I don't have
anything to hide.

286
00:13:06,146 --> 00:13:07,277
Good, good.

287
00:13:07,277 --> 00:13:10,250
Then you have nothing
to worry about.

288
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:13,053
No, I do not.

289
00:13:15,926 --> 00:13:18,028
You are a mean little man.

290
00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:21,431
You'd think it'd be because
my parents didn't love me,

291
00:13:21,441 --> 00:13:23,604
but actually they
loved me a great deal.

292
00:13:25,145 --> 00:13:27,177
Bernie, it's not you.

293
00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,549
She's just set
in her ways.

294
00:13:29,549 --> 00:13:31,852
How can we be together
if the thought of us

295
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,654
getting married
might kill your mother?

296
00:13:33,654 --> 00:13:37,668
It's the circle
of life, sweetie.

297
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:43,473
One day our son will marry
someone and it will kill you.

298
00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:47,417
Howard, I have to go
to the bathroom

299
00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:48,849
and no one
will take me home.

300
00:13:48,849 --> 00:13:50,691
What's wrong with
the bathroom here?

301
00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:54,094
Pneumococcus, streptococcus,
staphylococcus

302
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,396
and other assorted
coccuses.

303
00:13:56,396 --> 00:13:59,299
Sheldon, my mother is
on her deathbed

304
00:13:59,299 --> 00:14:01,371
and my fiancée is grief-stricken
over putting her there.

305
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:03,013
I'm not taking you home.

306
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,715
Will you at least

307
00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:06,086
go with me to the restroom here,

308
00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:08,218
so you can open the door
and flush the urinal?

309
00:14:08,218 --> 00:14:10,120
No!

310
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,322
This might be a good time
to point out, Howard,

311
00:14:12,332 --> 00:14:14,795
that friendship requires
a certain give and take.

312
00:14:16,366 --> 00:14:17,638
Hold the door.

313
00:14:23,584 --> 00:14:25,555
Mr. Wolowitz?

314
00:14:25,555 --> 00:14:28,388
- Is she okay?
- It wasn't a heart attack.

315
00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:30,631
She's awake, she's
resting comfortably—

316
00:14:30,631 --> 00:14:31,832
we're still
running a few tests.

317
00:14:31,832 --> 00:14:32,833
Can I see her?

318
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:35,205
Actually, she said,
and I quote,

319
00:14:35,205 --> 00:14:37,507
she'd "like to see the
little Catholic girl first."

320
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,252
Me? Why me?

321
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:44,484
Jews have been asking
that for centuries.

322
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,006
There's no real good answer.

323
00:14:48,128 --> 00:14:50,941
Okay, well,
wish me luck.

324
00:14:50,941 --> 00:14:52,442
Don't worry,
you'll be fine.

325
00:14:52,442 --> 00:14:54,144
Let's just hide Mr. Cross.

326
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:57,077
If it touches her, it burns.

327
00:15:01,612 --> 00:15:03,523
You brought a Catholic girl
home to your mother?

328
00:15:03,523 --> 00:15:04,364
Yeah.

329
00:15:04,364 --> 00:15:07,928
Why don't I write you a
prescription for Xanax.

330
00:15:11,842 --> 00:15:13,143
Finally.

331
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,940
Oh, what fresh hell is this?

332
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,683
Wait, you can't leave here,
you've been exposed.

333
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:37,257
No, I haven't.

334
00:15:37,257 --> 00:15:40,130
It's all good.

335
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,705
You want to talk
about crazy mothers,

336
00:15:44,705 --> 00:15:47,407
Leonard's mom wouldn't give him
any sort of approval growing up.

337
00:15:47,407 --> 00:15:48,839
Oh, the poor thing.

338
00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:51,111
It makes him desperate
to please women.

339
00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:53,323
That's why the foreplay
goes on and on.

340
00:15:53,323 --> 00:15:55,626
It does, doesn't it?

341
00:15:55,626 --> 00:15:58,158
It's like he's
trying to win a prize.

342
00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,770
A word of advice—
don't doze off.

343
00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:02,202
You will never hear
the end of it.

344
00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:04,044
Help me!

345
00:16:04,044 --> 00:16:05,776
Come back!

346
00:16:05,776 --> 00:16:07,147
Penny!

347
00:16:08,278 --> 00:16:11,411
There are a couple of
things I did with Penny

348
00:16:11,411 --> 00:16:12,783
that might be a
little silly, but...

349
00:16:12,783 --> 00:16:14,054
Like what?

350
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:17,688
Every once in a while,
before we'd go to bed,

351
00:16:17,688 --> 00:16:20,631
I'd put on a little show
for her.

352
00:16:22,302 --> 00:16:24,404
What do you mean
"a show"?

353
00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:29,449
Well, you know,
the way I took my clothes off.

354
00:16:29,449 --> 00:16:31,752
Like, to music?

355
00:16:31,752 --> 00:16:36,627
I'd look pretty stupid
if there was no music.

356
00:16:36,627 --> 00:16:38,999
So you'd do
a striptease?

357
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:42,803
I wasn't swinging
around a pole.

358
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:45,105
Good, good.

359
00:16:46,576 --> 00:16:50,591
There was one time
I put body glitter on.

360
00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:53,253
Well, I don't think
you have to worry

361
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,825
about Penny telling
my sister that.

362
00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:55,996
No, she wouldn't.

363
00:16:55,996 --> 00:16:59,369
Your big problem
is me telling her.

364
00:17:00,941 --> 00:17:03,513
You really are
a mean little man.

365
00:17:04,715 --> 00:17:07,347
Oh, God, that's so true.

366
00:17:07,347 --> 00:17:08,689
I know, right?

367
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:11,091
Hey, what took
you guys so long?

368
00:17:11,091 --> 00:17:12,562
Oh, we were
just chatting.

369
00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:14,164
That's nice.
What about?

370
00:17:14,164 --> 00:17:15,565
We were just
comparing notes

371
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:17,738
about how you are
in the sack.

372
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,973
That's funny.
Yeah.

373
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,046
What if she
wasn't kidding?

374
00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:27,858
It doesn't matter.

375
00:17:27,858 --> 00:17:29,690
I'm the king of foreplay.

376
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,005
Hey, how'd it go?

377
00:17:35,005 --> 00:17:36,306
You're a putz.

378
00:17:37,177 --> 00:17:38,278
You know what that means?

379
00:17:38,278 --> 00:17:41,782
Yeah. Do you?

380
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:43,954
Your mother just
taught it to me.

381
00:17:43,954 --> 00:17:46,216
She thinks she got food
poisoning from that deli

382
00:17:46,226 --> 00:17:48,689
and she just wanted
to make sure I was okay.

383
00:17:48,699 --> 00:17:50,330
And are you?

384
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,774
No, because I'm
engaged to a putz.

385
00:17:55,706 --> 00:17:58,909
You let me believe I was the
reason she had a heart attack.

386
00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:00,250
Well, based on the
available evid—

387
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,282
Shut up!

388
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,654
She said I'm
a wonderful girl

389
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:05,225
and that you're
lucky to have me.

390
00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:06,627
Where are you going?

391
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,058
To the toilet!

392
00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:09,459
Is that okay with you?

393
00:18:14,895 --> 00:18:20,510
Is it just me, or does she
sound sexy when she's angry?

394
00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:30,611
Mountain Elf.

395
00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:36,927
He takes the elf
from off the shelf.

396
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,540
Hell Hounds.

397
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,614
Hell Hounds— who let
the Satanic dogs out?

398
00:18:43,614 --> 00:18:46,116
Who? Who-who?

399
00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:49,219
Colossal Serpent.

400
00:18:49,219 --> 00:18:52,562
I got a colossal
serpent right here.

401
00:18:54,735 --> 00:18:55,996
Must you?

402
00:18:56,006 --> 00:18:58,468
Sorry, I'm just trying
to cheer my buddy up.

403
00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,541
Rotting Zombie.

404
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,544
Sheldon's new
Facebook photo.

405
00:19:08,558 --> 00:19:11,401
Zandor, Wizard of the North.

406
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,133
Ha! I win.

407
00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,945
If you skip the part about being

408
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,787
under a two-week quarantine
because you were exposed

409
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:18,709
to a deadly disease—
absolutely.

410
00:19:22,212 --> 00:19:25,215
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

411
00:19:25,215 --> 00:19:28,218
— Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez —