1
00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,386
Okay, I guess.

2
00:00:03,388 --> 00:00:06,122
It's just,
being cooped up in this...

3
00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:08,541
tin can for weeks on end
is starting to get to me.

4
00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:10,210
Well, hang in there.
You just have a couple more

5
00:00:10,212 --> 00:00:11,561
days to go,
and then you'll be home.

6
00:00:11,563 --> 00:00:13,947
I know.

7
00:00:13,949 --> 00:00:15,031
I got to get back to work.

8
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,032
I love you.

9
00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:17,033
Love you too.

10
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,134
Hey, Bernie?

11
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:22,088
Before you go, can you
do something for me?

12
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,540
What do you want me to do?

13
00:00:23,542 --> 00:00:26,226
Okay, here it is.

14
00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:29,545
I really miss gravity.

15
00:00:29,547 --> 00:00:34,351
Can you drop something
so I can watch it fall?

16
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,221
Really, you're serious?

17
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,978
Okay.

18
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:48,865
Oh, baby, you're killing me.

19
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,735
Ugh.

20
00:00:52,737 --> 00:00:53,703
Hey, Sheldon?

21
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,004
Hi. This came
for you today.

22
00:00:55,006 --> 00:00:55,955
It's from your mom.

23
00:00:55,957 --> 00:00:57,424
Oh!

24
00:00:57,426 --> 00:00:59,175
Thank you, Penny.
Mm-hmm.

25
00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:01,044
Yeah, w... here.

26
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,014
For your troubles.

27
00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:08,218
Oh, boy, a whole dollar.

28
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,186
Now, I can quit my paper route.

29
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,839
So, what's in it?

30
00:01:12,841 --> 00:01:14,124
Mmm, doesn't matter.

31
00:01:14,126 --> 00:01:17,026
Half the time, he just ends up
playing with the box.

32
00:01:17,028 --> 00:01:20,596
Yeah, it's journals and research
papers I wrote as a child.

33
00:01:20,598 --> 00:01:22,949
Aw, how cute.

34
00:01:22,951 --> 00:01:24,300
Is this like a diary?

35
00:01:24,302 --> 00:01:27,053
No, that's my
potty training journal.

36
00:01:27,055 --> 00:01:29,489
Really, your
potty training journal?

37
00:01:29,491 --> 00:01:30,540
Yeah.

38
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:32,242
And forgive my crude penmanship.

39
00:01:32,244 --> 00:01:34,777
I didn't start typing
until I was six.

40
00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:40,383
"August 7, 8:42 a.m.
This is humiliating.

41
00:01:40,385 --> 00:01:41,951
What was wrong with diapers?"

42
00:01:43,972 --> 00:01:46,055
There are some charts
in the back

43
00:01:46,057 --> 00:01:47,724
where I kept track
of shape, color

44
00:01:47,726 --> 00:01:49,959
and consistency.
Oh!

45
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,479
Disgusting.

46
00:01:52,481 --> 00:01:56,299
No, what's disgusting
is he's still keeping track.

47
00:01:57,101 --> 00:01:58,518
Why do you need
all this stuff...?

48
00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,652
No, no, no, no...
Sorry!

49
00:01:59,654 --> 00:02:00,904
I am glad you asked.

50
00:02:00,906 --> 00:02:02,021
Oh!

51
00:02:02,023 --> 00:02:05,358
Yeah, are you familiar
with the Higgs boson?

52
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,328
Of course, it is...
it's been in the news.

53
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:11,281
And it's a very famous boson.

54
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,700
Nice try.

55
00:02:13,702 --> 00:02:16,369
Now, in 1964, Dr. Peter Higgs,

56
00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:18,371
accomplished self-promoter
and physicist,

57
00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:21,291
he wrote a paper
postulating the existence

58
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:23,826
of a subatomic particle
called the Higgs boson.

59
00:02:23,828 --> 00:02:25,261
Now, initially,

60
00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:29,132
the paper was rejected, but
recently, he was proven right.

61
00:02:29,134 --> 00:02:31,851
And now he's on the fast
track to win a Nobel prize.

62
00:02:31,853 --> 00:02:35,021
Yeah, that's basically what I said.
Yeah...

63
00:02:35,023 --> 00:02:39,675
The point is Higgs
is being celebrated for work

64
00:02:39,677 --> 00:02:41,644
he did 50 years ago, so that

65
00:02:41,646 --> 00:02:44,013
got me thinking,
perhaps I've already hit

66
00:02:44,015 --> 00:02:47,033
upon the idea
that will win me my Nobel prize.

67
00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,985
I didn't know
they gave Nobel prizes

68
00:02:48,987 --> 00:02:51,187
for making boom-boom
in the potty.

69
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,023
You really think

70
00:02:54,025 --> 00:02:56,960
there's some kind
of scientific discovery in here?

71
00:02:56,962 --> 00:02:59,462
Well, this box only covers
my work through nursery school.

72
00:02:59,464 --> 00:03:01,080
There's a good deal
more to come.

73
00:03:01,082 --> 00:03:04,200
I didn't really hit my academic
stride until I cut out

74
00:03:04,202 --> 00:03:06,886
that time-suck
known as "playing outdoors."

75
00:03:06,888 --> 00:03:08,838
So, you're going to spend

76
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,540
hours and hours combing
through all this stuff?

77
00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:12,675
That's a good point.

78
00:03:12,677 --> 00:03:14,594
My time is much too valuable.

79
00:03:14,596 --> 00:03:17,096
You know, perhaps I should
find someone to do it for me.

80
00:03:17,098 --> 00:03:18,815
You know, someone with
a rudimentary understanding

81
00:03:18,817 --> 00:03:23,069
of science, but whose real
talents lie in menial labor.

82
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,692
Not gonna happen.

83
00:03:29,694 --> 00:03:32,111
Yeah, well, if I didn't
think you could handle it,

84
00:03:32,113 --> 00:03:33,496
I wouldn't be asking.

85
00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:36,399
If you want help,
just hire a grad student.

86
00:03:36,401 --> 00:03:37,567
Maybe I could do it.

87
00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,253
You, really?

88
00:03:40,255 --> 00:03:43,006
You can assess
the quality of my work?

89
00:03:43,008 --> 00:03:44,507
Okay, um, here.

90
00:03:44,509 --> 00:03:46,626
I wrote this
when I was five years old.

91
00:03:46,628 --> 00:03:51,080
"A proof that algebraic topology
can never have a non-self

92
00:03:51,082 --> 00:03:54,183
contradictory set
of abelion groups."

93
00:03:58,122 --> 00:04:01,090
I'm just a blonde monkey
to you, aren't I?

94
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,730
You said it, not me.

95
00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:35,110
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

96
00:04:36,807 --> 00:04:39,809
All right, Ms. Jenson.

97
00:04:39,811 --> 00:04:42,645
Uh, before we begin,
may I offer you a refreshment?

98
00:04:42,647 --> 00:04:44,981
Water, coffee, tea,

99
00:04:44,983 --> 00:04:47,150
a marijuana cigarette?

100
00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:49,469
No, thanks. I'm fine.

101
00:04:49,471 --> 00:04:51,004
Now, are you sure?

102
00:04:51,006 --> 00:04:54,107
Everyone's smoking them.

103
00:04:54,109 --> 00:04:56,543
I think they're the best.

104
00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:57,928
I don't do drugs.

105
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,546
Excellent, yeah.

106
00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:00,830
That was a ruse.

107
00:05:00,832 --> 00:05:02,332
They're not the best.

108
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,167
Physics is the best.

109
00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:05,502
And by the way,

110
00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:08,004
coffee was also
an unacceptable choice.

111
00:05:08,006 --> 00:05:11,725
All right, so I see here
you're from Des Moines, Iowa.

112
00:05:11,727 --> 00:05:14,311
Uh, you're summa cum laude
in theoretical physics

113
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,679
from Stanford University.

114
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:20,684
Oh, and two years ago, you had
a persistent ear infection.

115
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:22,953
I hope that didn't
cause any hearing loss.

116
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,754
No, of course not.

117
00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:26,239
How did you know about that?

118
00:05:26,241 --> 00:05:28,908
I did a comprehensive
background check.

119
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:32,629
Medical records, credit reports,
criminal history.

120
00:05:32,631 --> 00:05:35,615
I trust you paid off
those parking tickets.

121
00:05:35,617 --> 00:05:37,033
Yes, I did.

122
00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:40,203
Hearing unimpaired, good.

123
00:05:40,205 --> 00:05:43,139
Look, Dr. Cooper,
I really want this position.

124
00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:45,008
It would be
an incredible honor to work

125
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,593
for a man of your brilliance.

126
00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:50,213
Flattery will not get you
this job, Ms. Jenson.

127
00:05:50,215 --> 00:05:52,682
It's not flattery
if it's the truth.

128
00:05:52,684 --> 00:05:55,018
Oh, well, thank you.

129
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,486
Welcome aboard.

130
00:05:58,139 --> 00:06:00,023
You talk to Howard lately?

131
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:01,107
Uh, yeah, last night.

132
00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:04,494
He kept making me
drop pencils for him.

133
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,415
I got uncomfortable.

134
00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:09,732
Hey, Sheldon,
hope you're hungry.

135
00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:11,618
They're serving
macaroni and...

136
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,120
cheese.

137
00:06:16,307 --> 00:06:18,508
Smooth.

138
00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:21,845
Hi.

139
00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:22,929
Hello.

140
00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:24,681
Sheldon, aren't you
going to introduce us?

141
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:26,800
No. I have people
for that now.

142
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,468
You're up.

143
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,586
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's new assistant.

144
00:06:30,588 --> 00:06:33,256
Ah, congratulations and may God
have mercy on your soul.

145
00:06:34,925 --> 00:06:36,259
I'm Leonard. This is Raj.

146
00:06:36,261 --> 00:06:37,560
It's nice to meet you.

147
00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:39,112
I'm so excited
to be working with Dr...

148
00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:40,113
Yeah, please reserve

149
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:42,065
chitchat for your breaks,
Ms. Jenson.

150
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,984
Yeah, FYI,
there will be no breaks.

151
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,239
I should probably get to work.

152
00:06:51,158 --> 00:06:52,325
She seems nice.

153
00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:53,576
Hey, you already
got a girlfriend.

154
00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:55,278
I call dibs.

155
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,064
All I said was,
"She seems nice."

156
00:06:58,066 --> 00:06:59,949
Yeah, well, I love her.

157
00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:09,826
Hey, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you today.

158
00:07:09,828 --> 00:07:11,010
Everything okay?

159
00:07:11,012 --> 00:07:13,730
Uh, no, not really.

160
00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:16,533
What's wrong?

161
00:07:16,535 --> 00:07:18,435
Well, remember the...
Soyuz capsule

162
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,253
they were sending
to bring us home?

163
00:07:20,255 --> 00:07:21,221
Uh-huh.

164
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,489
It's delayed.

165
00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:24,307
We're gonna be here
at least another week.

166
00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:25,608
Maybe ten days.

167
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,411
It's the Russians,
so you don't know.

168
00:07:30,498 --> 00:07:33,700
They left dogs up here
in the '60s.

169
00:07:35,653 --> 00:07:37,203
Come on, Howard.

170
00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:39,289
No one's leaving you up there.

171
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,541
I don't know how much longer
I can take this.

172
00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:45,428
I can't sleep, and zero gravity
is giving me crazy acid reflux.

173
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:49,215
I'm down to my last three Tums.

174
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,302
You're going to be fine.

175
00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:54,938
You survived that Weight
Watchers cruise with your mom.

176
00:07:56,624 --> 00:07:59,809
And they ran out
of low-fat ice cream on day two.

177
00:08:01,245 --> 00:08:04,347
Just calm down and take
a few deep breaths.

178
00:08:04,349 --> 00:08:05,815
Okay, okay.

179
00:08:09,037 --> 00:08:12,322
What am I doing?
I'm using up all the oxygen.

180
00:08:15,743 --> 00:08:20,113
If I die, promise you'll never
have sex with another man.

181
00:08:25,319 --> 00:08:27,921
Oh, yeah.

182
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,642
I'm a man-eater now.

183
00:08:32,644 --> 00:08:36,763
Okay, for the final touch,
this is an eyelash curler.

184
00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:40,517
You just place it on your lashes
and squeeze it closed.

185
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:43,069
Oh, I don't know.

186
00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:45,855
Looks like something used
by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.

187
00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:52,061
Who I hope for her sake
is not Captain Hook, so...

188
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,201
Who are you calling?

189
00:08:58,203 --> 00:08:59,669
I'm going to
video-chat Sheldon.

190
00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:00,587
Mmm.

191
00:09:00,589 --> 00:09:02,038
If my new look
leads to phone sex,

192
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,157
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave the room.

193
00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:07,827
Dr. Cooper's office.

194
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:09,762
Oh, hello. Who are you?

195
00:09:09,764 --> 00:09:12,031
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's assistant.

196
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:12,999
Can I help you?

197
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:14,450
I'd like to speak to Sheldon.

198
00:09:14,452 --> 00:09:16,953
I'm sorry. He's asked me
to hold all calls

199
00:09:16,955 --> 00:09:19,255
unless you're Stephen Hawking,
his mother

200
00:09:19,257 --> 00:09:21,591
or himself from the future.

201
00:09:22,426 --> 00:09:23,693
All right.

202
00:09:23,695 --> 00:09:25,528
Well, tell him Amy called.
Last name?

203
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:26,929
He knows my last name.

204
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,598
I'm his girlfriend.

205
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,533
We have a contract
and everything.

206
00:09:30,535 --> 00:09:32,785
I'll send you a PDF.

207
00:09:33,654 --> 00:09:36,539
All right, I will
tell him you called.

208
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:40,660
Hmm, that's weird.
What?

209
00:09:40,662 --> 00:09:44,113
Sheldon told me he had
a new assistant named Alex.

210
00:09:44,115 --> 00:09:46,366
He didn't mention
that Alex was a girl.

211
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,868
Maybe he didn't notice.

212
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:50,136
You're right.

213
00:09:50,138 --> 00:09:51,754
I don't have to worry
about Sheldon.

214
00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,474
No, you do not.

215
00:09:55,726 --> 00:09:58,328
It's her I have to worry about.

216
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,846
Oh, Amy, really?

217
00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:01,881
She is not going to come on
to Sheldon.

218
00:10:01,883 --> 00:10:03,266
Oh, really?

219
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:05,685
Look at this face.

220
00:10:08,055 --> 00:10:10,573
How can any woman
spend eight hours a day

221
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:14,060
alone with this face
and not fall in love with it?

222
00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:16,062
Well, for starters,

223
00:10:16,064 --> 00:10:19,198
at some point,
that face starts talking.

224
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:29,006
Amy, this is crazy.

225
00:10:29,008 --> 00:10:30,874
You have nothing
to be suspicious about.

226
00:10:30,876 --> 00:10:32,092
I'm not suspicious.

227
00:10:32,094 --> 00:10:34,545
I just want to stop in,
say hi to my boyfriend

228
00:10:34,547 --> 00:10:35,963
and meet his new assistant.

229
00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:38,932
Aha!

230
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:43,837
Can we go now?

231
00:10:43,839 --> 00:10:45,005
Hang on.

232
00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:52,913
What are you doing?

233
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:54,448
Isn't it obvious?

234
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:57,818
I'm spreading my scent
to mark my territory.

235
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:02,239
Come on, Amy.
That is not gonna work.

236
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:05,409
Really? Because just before you
became my best friend,

237
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:08,412
I did this
all over your apartment.

238
00:11:13,051 --> 00:11:15,452
Has your, uh, assistant
said anything about me?

239
00:11:15,454 --> 00:11:17,170
In fact, she has.

240
00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:21,608
Uh, her exact words were,
"What is that guy's problem?"

241
00:11:22,427 --> 00:11:25,762
I'm in her head.
Let the dance begin.

242
00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:30,484
Here's your frozen yogurt,
Dr. Cooper.

243
00:11:30,486 --> 00:11:31,818
This should be fun.

244
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:33,553
Half chocolate,
half vanilla,

245
00:11:33,555 --> 00:11:35,439
side by side, not swirled?
Yes.

246
00:11:35,441 --> 00:11:37,407
Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?
Rainbow, not chocolate.

247
00:11:37,409 --> 00:11:39,226
Two cherries?
One on top, one on the bottom.

248
00:11:39,228 --> 00:11:41,194
Stems removed?
Um...

249
00:11:41,196 --> 00:11:42,412
top one, yes.

250
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:44,097
I didn't check the one
on the bottom.

251
00:11:44,099 --> 00:11:46,199
Oh...!

252
00:11:47,902 --> 00:11:49,820
I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper.

253
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:51,171
It's all right, Alex.

254
00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:53,974
I'm not mad at you;
I'm just disappointed.

255
00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,361
Wait, Alex.
Do you want to join us?

256
00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:58,378
Um...

257
00:11:58,380 --> 00:11:59,713
Uh, Alex, a moment.

258
00:11:59,715 --> 00:12:02,749
I need a word with
Dr. Hofstadter.

259
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:06,186
Do you think it's appropriate

260
00:12:06,188 --> 00:12:08,722
for her to sit with us,
given her station?

261
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:11,892
Given her what?

262
00:12:11,894 --> 00:12:15,145
If I've learned anything from
British television shows on PBS,

263
00:12:15,147 --> 00:12:19,983
it's that servants dine
downstairs with their own kind.

264
00:12:19,985 --> 00:12:22,769
What?

265
00:12:22,771 --> 00:12:25,271
It's a kindness, Leonard.

266
00:12:25,273 --> 00:12:28,041
Otherwise, you're cruelly
tempting them with a glimpse

267
00:12:28,043 --> 00:12:31,411
of a world that's just beyond
their soot-stained fingertips.

268
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,447
Oh, sure.

269
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,782
Please join us.

270
00:12:35,784 --> 00:12:39,169
Oh, okay. Thank you.

271
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:40,971
So, Alex, what's the topic
of your dissertation?

272
00:12:40,973 --> 00:12:43,006
I'm looking
for Trojan asteroids

273
00:12:43,008 --> 00:12:44,574
at Earth's L-Five
Lagrange point.

274
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:46,593
Oh, that happens to be

275
00:12:46,595 --> 00:12:48,729
Dr. Koothrappali's
field of expertise.

276
00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:51,431
You two have a lot
to talk about.

277
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:54,952
Is that true?

278
00:13:06,247 --> 00:13:07,647
Is he all right?

279
00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,866
No.

280
00:13:12,737 --> 00:13:17,507
But compared to your boss,
he's the poster boy for sanity.

281
00:13:17,509 --> 00:13:20,160
It's okay, I've been around
scientists all my life.

282
00:13:20,162 --> 00:13:21,878
My dad's an astronomer at SETI.

283
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,349
Oh, SETI: the Search for
Extraterrestrial Intelligence.

284
00:13:25,351 --> 00:13:28,051
You should introduce him
to Sheldon. The search is over.

285
00:13:28,053 --> 00:13:31,337
So, what kind of research
are you doing?

286
00:13:31,339 --> 00:13:32,589
High-energy lasers.

287
00:13:32,591 --> 00:13:33,774
Ooh. Military?

288
00:13:33,776 --> 00:13:35,776
Not yet, but I can remove
unwanted hair

289
00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:37,343
from two miles away.

290
00:13:39,347 --> 00:13:40,313
You were right.

291
00:13:40,315 --> 00:13:41,848
I had nothing
to worry about.

292
00:13:41,850 --> 00:13:44,051
That skank's your
problem, not mine.

293
00:13:44,886 --> 00:13:47,353
You're very funny,
Dr. Hofstadter.

294
00:13:47,355 --> 00:13:48,288
Thank you.

295
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,857
Aah! Cherry stem!
Cherry stem!

296
00:13:54,078 --> 00:13:57,264
How you doing, Howie?
You feeling a little better?

297
00:13:57,266 --> 00:14:01,852
Oh, a lot better, thanks.
One sec.

298
00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:05,922
Listen close.
I don't have a lot of time.

299
00:14:05,924 --> 00:14:07,224
I need you to go to my house.

300
00:14:07,226 --> 00:14:09,559
In my bedroom, you'll find
a model rocket.

301
00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:12,479
I want you to take it
and bring it back to your place.

302
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:14,114
Okay...

303
00:14:14,116 --> 00:14:17,350
Step two: Build a version
roughly 14 stories high.

304
00:14:18,436 --> 00:14:20,687
Fill it full of rocket fuel
and come get me.

305
00:14:20,689 --> 00:14:23,056
I'll leave the door unlocked.

306
00:14:25,893 --> 00:14:27,894
Howie, honey, maybe you should
talk to someone,

307
00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:30,197
let them know you're having
a little anxiety.

308
00:14:30,199 --> 00:14:31,998
No, no, I'm fine.

309
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,000
No anxiety!

310
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:36,069
We should probably talk in code.

311
00:14:36,071 --> 00:14:38,738
From now on, "frog" is me,
"sandwich" means you

312
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:41,341
and "lemon" means rocket.
So, come on, sandwich,

313
00:14:41,343 --> 00:14:44,711
build me a lemon 'cause froggy
wants to come home!

314
00:14:49,917 --> 00:14:53,887
Look at you,
putting on a brave face.

315
00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:56,256
There's nothing
to be brave about.

316
00:14:56,258 --> 00:14:57,524
Everything's fine.

317
00:14:57,526 --> 00:14:59,142
Really?

318
00:14:59,144 --> 00:15:01,528
I don't know how much you know
about primate behavior,

319
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:03,864
but Sheldon's assistant
was clearly courting Leonard.

320
00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,734
Were she a mandrill,
she would have bent over

321
00:15:07,736 --> 00:15:09,319
and displayed her brightly
colored hindquarters

322
00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:11,538
like a big red welcome mat.

323
00:15:12,974 --> 00:15:15,108
By the way, you try that
at the junior prom,

324
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:16,827
you get kicked out.

325
00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:21,882
Okay, maybe she was flirting
with him, but who cares?

326
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:23,049
Look, I don't even know

327
00:15:23,051 --> 00:15:24,918
where my relationship is
with Leonard is right now.

328
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,087
So says your
prefrontal cortex.

329
00:15:27,089 --> 00:15:29,256
But meanwhile, the limbic system
of your brain is calculating

330
00:15:29,258 --> 00:15:32,008
that if another woman
is attracted to Leonard,

331
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:33,343
it must be because
he's desirable.

332
00:15:33,345 --> 00:15:35,929
Well, of course
he's desirable.

333
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:37,681
I mean, he's great.

334
00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:40,984
He's smart, he's sweet,
and, ooh, in the bedroom, whew,

335
00:15:40,986 --> 00:15:43,854
let me tell you,
he really tries.

336
00:15:46,307 --> 00:15:48,325
So it does bother you.

337
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:50,977
Fine, it bothers
me a little.

338
00:15:50,979 --> 00:15:52,245
No. You know what?

339
00:15:52,247 --> 00:15:54,197
This is stupid.
It doesn't bother me.

340
00:15:55,783 --> 00:15:57,367
Okay, it bothers me.

341
00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,486
But only because she
wouldn't stop laughing.

342
00:16:00,488 --> 00:16:02,789
Leonard is not that funny.

343
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,258
And there you have it;

344
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:08,044
prefrontal cortex reasoning
versus limbic lust.

345
00:16:08,046 --> 00:16:10,430
If this were a boxing match,
they might call it

346
00:16:10,432 --> 00:16:14,334
"The thrilla adjacent
to the amygdala."

347
00:16:16,805 --> 00:16:18,188
If you were
a brain scientist,

348
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,941
you would be busting
a gut right now!

349
00:16:24,629 --> 00:16:26,363
So, how was work today?

350
00:16:26,365 --> 00:16:28,148
Ah, it was
all right, I guess.

351
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:31,301
Got to Heimlich a
cherry stem out of Sheldon.

352
00:16:31,303 --> 00:16:33,203
Caught Raj right in the eye.

353
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:34,704
Oh!

354
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,207
You're kidding.

355
00:16:37,209 --> 00:16:38,491
No, Raj had to go to the nurse.

356
00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:41,127
Wow. Anything else?

357
00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:45,799
Mmm, the nurse is a woman,
so he couldn't talk to her.

358
00:16:45,801 --> 00:16:47,700
She had to bring him
a Grover puppet

359
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,869
so he could point at what hurt.

360
00:16:53,674 --> 00:16:55,292
Is that it?

361
00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:57,210
Isn't that enough?

362
00:16:57,212 --> 00:16:59,246
It had the weaponized fruit
and a puppet.

363
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:01,181
What more do you want?

364
00:17:01,183 --> 00:17:04,550
Oh, good, Leonard, you're here.
Science news.

365
00:17:04,552 --> 00:17:07,437
This will interest you.
And, Penny, feel free

366
00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:08,855
to paint your nails.

367
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:12,058
What do you got?

368
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,526
I believe Alex may
have unearthed

369
00:17:13,528 --> 00:17:14,995
the grade school
science project

370
00:17:14,997 --> 00:17:17,230
that could be my ticket
to the Nobel Prize.

371
00:17:17,232 --> 00:17:18,198
Behold.

372
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,368
"What Do
They Stick To?"

373
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:27,007
If the answer is "metal,"
it's not exactly groundbreaking.

374
00:17:27,009 --> 00:17:29,593
The original title was
"A Rederivation

375
00:17:29,595 --> 00:17:32,178
of Maxwell's Equations
Regarding Electromagnetism"

376
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,965
I dumbed it down because some
of the more religious people

377
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,583
in town were starting
to say I was a witch.

378
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,422
Sheldon thinks the approach in
this paper might change the way

379
00:17:42,424 --> 00:17:43,923
we calculate ferromagnetic
hysteresis.

380
00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:46,893
Oh, it's about time.
I hated the old way.

381
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:50,013
Hi. I'm Penny.
Alex.

382
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:51,564
Uh, do you work
with Dr. Hofstadter?

383
00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:53,316
In a way.

384
00:17:55,503 --> 00:17:59,239
We've kind of been involved
in a five-year experiment.

385
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,441
Oh. Well, you're lucky.
He seems very talented.

386
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:04,277
And I'm sure a lot of people
want to work with him.

387
00:18:04,279 --> 00:18:07,447
Well, a lot of people can't.

388
00:18:07,449 --> 00:18:09,466
Uh, hey.

389
00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:11,468
Where are we going?

390
00:18:11,470 --> 00:18:14,721
My limbic system wants
to take your pants off.

391
00:18:17,441 --> 00:18:18,842
She seems nice.

392
00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:22,362
Notice people on your own time.
We're working.

393
00:18:31,582 --> 00:18:33,683
Hey, Howie, how you feeling?

394
00:18:33,685 --> 00:18:35,284
Better. Much better.

395
00:18:35,286 --> 00:18:38,671
The other astronauts
held me down,

396
00:18:38,673 --> 00:18:41,624
gave me a shot.

397
00:18:46,497 --> 00:18:49,098
Oh...

398
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:52,668
Attention, people of Earth:

399
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:57,873
Tonight, there will be two moons
in the sky.

400
00:18:59,259 --> 00:19:01,043
Howie, stop that.

401
00:19:01,045 --> 00:19:03,346
NASA's watching this!

402
00:19:03,348 --> 00:19:06,799
Put your pants back on!

403
00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:07,716
Whee! Whee!

404
00:19:07,718 --> 00:19:11,718
== sync, corrected by elderman ==