1
00:00:00,939 --> 00:00:02,947
Oh, hey, Stuart,
I got you

2
00:00:02,948 --> 00:00:05,478
a little souvenir
from my trip to space.

3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,946
Well, Howard,
that's very nice of you.

4
00:00:07,948 --> 00:00:09,946
Yeah, maybe. Open it first.

5
00:00:09,948 --> 00:00:13,179
It's my official
NASA portrait.

6
00:00:15,713 --> 00:00:18,745
"To Stuart, your comic book
store is out of this world.

7
00:00:18,747 --> 00:00:21,946
Just like the guy
in this picture was."

8
00:00:21,948 --> 00:00:24,213
For the record, he also thinks
the Walgreens

9
00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:27,879
and the dry cleaners
are out of this world.

10
00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:29,046
That's not true.

11
00:00:29,048 --> 00:00:30,378
At the Walgreens,

12
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:34,345
I was "over the moon"
for their store-brand antacids.

13
00:00:34,347 --> 00:00:36,079
Hey, Stuart, I see
you're getting ready

14
00:00:36,081 --> 00:00:37,246
for your Halloween party.

15
00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:39,946
Yeah, it's my annual attempt
to meet women.

16
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:42,213
Ninth time's the charm.

17
00:00:43,413 --> 00:00:44,946
Would you like me to help?

18
00:00:44,948 --> 00:00:48,246
I do have a certain je ne sais
quois when it comes to soirees.

19
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,712
Thanks, but I can't afford
je ne sais quois.

20
00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:52,979
How much for just quois?

21
00:00:52,981 --> 00:00:54,612
You know,
you don't worry about money.

22
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:56,579
I'll take care of everything.
Really?

23
00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:59,112
Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no
party like a Koothra-party.

24
00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:03,179
But you know
what wasn't a party?

25
00:01:03,181 --> 00:01:04,312
That hotel in Kazakhstan

26
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,012
they put you up in
before the launch.

27
00:01:06,014 --> 00:01:07,312
I mean,
it's your last night on Earth.

28
00:01:07,314 --> 00:01:09,079
You'd think you'd get
one porn channel.

29
00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:12,745
Have you noticed
that Howard can take any topic

30
00:01:12,747 --> 00:01:16,246
and use it to remind you
that he went to space?

31
00:01:16,248 --> 00:01:18,312
Interesting hypothesis.

32
00:01:18,314 --> 00:01:19,545
Let's apply the
scientific method,

33
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,912
perform an experiment.
Okay.

34
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:25,345
Hey, Howard, any thoughts on
where we should get dinner?

35
00:01:25,347 --> 00:01:27,412
Anywhere but the Space Station.

36
00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:32,079
On a good day, dinner was
a bag full of meat loaf.

37
00:01:32,081 --> 00:01:34,362
But, hey, you don't go there
for the food,

38
00:01:34,364 --> 00:01:36,246
you go there for the view.

39
00:01:36,248 --> 00:01:37,812
It's fascinating.

40
00:01:37,814 --> 00:01:40,145
Let me see if I can
duplicate the result.

41
00:01:40,147 --> 00:01:42,695
Howard, I've
always thought

42
00:01:42,697 --> 00:01:44,812
the lemon was an
underrated fruit.

43
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:46,645
Care to weigh in?

44
00:01:46,647 --> 00:01:49,996
Not really.

45
00:01:49,998 --> 00:01:51,745
Oh, well.

46
00:01:51,747 --> 00:01:54,029
You know, people say the Soyuz
capsule was a lemon.

47
00:01:55,279 --> 00:01:57,478
But, hey, that baby got me
to space and back.

48
00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:31,481
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

49
00:02:32,678 --> 00:02:34,543
Ladies night
at the Cheesecake Factory.

50
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,744
Does it get any better
than this?

51
00:02:36,746 --> 00:02:38,526
I hope so.

52
00:02:38,528 --> 00:02:42,393
Question. Do you think your
husband's fondness

53
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,460
for turtlenecks is an
expression of longing

54
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:47,226
for his
missing foreskin?

55
00:02:48,928 --> 00:02:52,744
It's not getting any better.

56
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,460
Uch. It's Leonard.

57
00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:58,526
He wants to go costume
shopping later.

58
00:02:58,528 --> 00:03:00,410
I thought you liked Halloween.
I do, it's just

59
00:03:00,412 --> 00:03:02,994
he wants to go to that party
at the comic book store.

60
00:03:02,996 --> 00:03:05,660
A lot of the guys that hang out
there are kind of creepy.

61
00:03:05,662 --> 00:03:08,693
Like my husband?
And my boyfriend?

62
00:03:10,211 --> 00:03:12,161
I'm, I'm sorry, Amy.

63
00:03:12,163 --> 00:03:14,693
You were saying something
about Howard's foreskin?

64
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,827
Nice try, but you have
to go to that party

65
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,044
'cause we're going.

66
00:03:18,046 --> 00:03:19,127
Yeah, I'm gonna go.

67
00:03:19,129 --> 00:03:20,910
It's just not my idea
of a good time.

68
00:03:20,912 --> 00:03:24,193
Leonard does thing he doesn't
like to make you happy.

69
00:03:24,195 --> 00:03:27,693
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
Isn't that, like, his job?

70
00:03:27,695 --> 00:03:29,410
Then what's your job?

71
00:03:29,412 --> 00:03:31,593
Letting him make me happy.

72
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,744
I just think in relationships

73
00:03:34,746 --> 00:03:36,693
you get back
what you put into them.

74
00:03:36,695 --> 00:03:38,127
That's not always true.

75
00:03:38,129 --> 00:03:40,693
Last night I gave Sheldon
my best come-hither look,

76
00:03:40,695 --> 00:03:42,193
and he responded
by explaining how

77
00:03:42,195 --> 00:03:45,360
wheat came
to be cultivated.

78
00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:48,827
I guess I could probably try
a little harder.

79
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,710
You could start by taking
an interest in his work.

80
00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:53,044
Yeah, that's kind of a problem.

81
00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:54,011
Why?

82
00:03:54,013 --> 00:03:56,293
Not really clear on
what he does.

83
00:03:56,295 --> 00:03:58,710
He's an experimental
physicist.

84
00:03:58,712 --> 00:04:01,693
Yeah, I'm not really clear on
what that means.

85
00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:05,427
He takes hypotheses
and designs protocols

86
00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:07,027
to determine
their accuracy.

87
00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:09,243
Yeah, you're really
just making it worse.

88
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:13,960
What kind of tea
would you like?

89
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:17,410
I think I'm gonna try
green tea

90
00:04:17,412 --> 00:04:18,710
mixed with lemon zinger.

91
00:04:18,712 --> 00:04:21,660
Two tea bags in one cup?

92
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,877
You're not at a rave.

93
00:04:27,028 --> 00:04:29,794
So, listen, Sheldon,
I was thinking,

94
00:04:29,796 --> 00:04:32,077
since this is gonna be
our first

95
00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:33,827
Halloween party
as boyfriend and girlfriend,

96
00:04:33,829 --> 00:04:37,527
I thought it might be fun for us
to go in a couples costume.

97
00:04:37,529 --> 00:04:40,044
I couldn't agree more.

98
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,293
Really? I find that inconsistent

99
00:04:42,295 --> 00:04:44,727
with everything I know
about you.

100
00:04:44,729 --> 00:04:46,860
Oh, oh, on the contrary.

101
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:49,493
Couples costumes are one
of the few benefits

102
00:04:49,495 --> 00:04:50,960
of being in a relationship.

103
00:04:50,962 --> 00:04:53,460
Now imagine this:

104
00:04:53,462 --> 00:04:56,410
you and I entering
Stuart's party

105
00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:59,910
and all eyes turn to see
America's most beloved

106
00:04:59,912 --> 00:05:01,076
and glamorous couple.

107
00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:02,243
Yeah?

108
00:05:02,245 --> 00:05:04,860
R2-D2 and C-3PO!

109
00:05:06,394 --> 00:05:09,044
Dibs on 3PO.

110
00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:12,710
Sheldon, when I said
couples costume,

111
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,543
I meant like Romeo and Juliet

112
00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:16,910
or Cinderella
and Prince Charming,

113
00:05:16,912 --> 00:05:20,210
not two robots from some
silly movie I don't even like.

114
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:21,877
Okay!

115
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,910
I'm gonna let that slide

116
00:05:25,912 --> 00:05:28,126
because I kn you're hopped up
on tea bags.

117
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,043
I make compromises
for you all the time.

118
00:05:33,045 --> 00:05:35,693
Just this once,
can't we find something

119
00:05:35,695 --> 00:05:37,160
that we're both happy with?

120
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:41,827
Fine. How about one
of the most beguiling

121
00:05:41,829 --> 00:05:44,960
and influential couples
of the 20th century?

122
00:05:44,962 --> 00:05:47,260
Hewlett and Packard.

123
00:05:48,378 --> 00:05:51,076
Dibs on Hewlett.

124
00:05:51,745 --> 00:05:53,293
What, you want to be Hewlett?

125
00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:57,877
Anybody home?

126
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,877
Hey-hey-hey,
what are you doing here?

127
00:05:59,879 --> 00:06:02,377
I just thought I'd
stop by and say hello.

128
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:04,210
Oh, what a nice surprise.
Oh.

129
00:06:04,212 --> 00:06:06,293
I don't think you've
ever seen my lab before.

130
00:06:06,295 --> 00:06:08,543
No, I know.
It's long overdue.

131
00:06:08,545 --> 00:06:09,993
So, what ya doing?

132
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,877
Better not be building
a robot girlfriend.

133
00:06:12,879 --> 00:06:15,543
No. Although Howard was
making some real strides

134
00:06:15,545 --> 00:06:18,493
in that area until
he met Bernadette.

135
00:06:18,495 --> 00:06:20,243
You're kidding.
Nope.

136
00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:22,410
Now the Lisatronic 3000
just sits in a box

137
00:06:22,412 --> 00:06:24,043
waiting for the phone to ring.

138
00:06:27,461 --> 00:06:29,026
Ooh! What's going on in here?

139
00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:30,543
Oh, no, no, no,
don't look in there.

140
00:06:30,545 --> 00:06:31,693
What, is it secret?

141
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,293
No, it's a nitrogen laser.

142
00:06:33,295 --> 00:06:36,377
It'll cook your eyeball
like a soft-boiled egg.

143
00:06:36,379 --> 00:06:38,744
Oh. You might want
to put a sign on it.

144
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,993
Sign right there.

145
00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:45,043
Ah. "Danger," sure, sure.

146
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:46,210
Yeah. What's, what's that?

147
00:06:46,212 --> 00:06:49,210
Uh, that is an
integrated ion trap

148
00:06:49,212 --> 00:06:50,959
and time-of-flight
mass spectrometer.

149
00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:53,460
Wow. High-techie-techie.

150
00:06:54,561 --> 00:06:56,660
What's this little box?

151
00:06:56,662 --> 00:07:00,827
That is a pencil
sharpener.

152
00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,744
Ooh, low-techie-techie.

153
00:07:02,746 --> 00:07:05,526
So, what are you
working on right now?

154
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:08,043
It's actually pretty neat.
Yeah?

155
00:07:08,045 --> 00:07:10,543
Yeah. It's a front-projected
holographic display

156
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:12,794
combined with laser-based
finger tracking.

157
00:07:12,796 --> 00:07:15,026
Here, I'll show you.

158
00:07:15,028 --> 00:07:18,210
We'll just put this
pencil over here.

159
00:07:18,212 --> 00:07:20,627
Sharp. Thanks to the machine
we saw earlier.

160
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,377
Very good.

161
00:07:26,494 --> 00:07:31,410
And then a laser will map
the reflective surface...

162
00:07:31,412 --> 00:07:34,126
and voilà.

163
00:07:34,128 --> 00:07:38,460
Wow. That is amazing.

164
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,827
You know, there's a foundational
idea in string theory

165
00:07:43,829 --> 00:07:46,627
that the whole universe
may be a hologram.

166
00:07:46,629 --> 00:07:48,543
What do you mean?

167
00:07:50,528 --> 00:07:52,526
Oh!

168
00:07:52,528 --> 00:07:54,126
Wow.

169
00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:55,243
Uh-huh.

170
00:07:55,245 --> 00:07:56,860
Well, the holographic principle
suggests

171
00:07:56,862 --> 00:08:00,693
that what we all experience
every day in three dimensions

172
00:08:00,695 --> 00:08:06,160
may really just be information

173
00:08:06,162 --> 00:08:08,026
on a surface located

174
00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:11,126
at the farthest reaches
of our cosmos.

175
00:08:12,328 --> 00:08:16,526
So it's possible
that our lives are

176
00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:18,959
really just acting
out a painting

177
00:08:18,961 --> 00:08:22,243
on the largest canvas
in the universe.

178
00:08:22,245 --> 00:08:24,243
Hmm.

179
00:08:24,245 --> 00:08:25,627
What?

180
00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:29,577
Sometimes I forget
how smart you are.

181
00:08:36,161 --> 00:08:38,526
You should visit
more often.

182
00:08:41,211 --> 00:08:42,460
What are you doing?

183
00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:46,293
Take off your clothes.

184
00:08:46,295 --> 00:08:47,876
What? Here? Now?

185
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,076
Yeah. You got a problem
with that?

186
00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:52,043
No, no. It's kind of crazy.

187
00:08:52,045 --> 00:08:54,210
I've never fooled around
in the lab before.

188
00:08:54,212 --> 00:08:55,493
Really? Never?

189
00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:57,210
No. I did have a shot
with the Lisatronic,

190
00:08:57,212 --> 00:09:00,627
but the extension cord
wasn't long enough.

191
00:09:05,494 --> 00:09:08,744
Before I forget, I'd like
your opinion on the menus

192
00:09:08,746 --> 00:09:11,076
I've prepared
for the Halloween party.

193
00:09:11,078 --> 00:09:15,526
The theme is "food
that goes bump in the night."

194
00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:20,744
"Creature from
the Black Forest Ham Lagoon."

195
00:09:20,746 --> 00:09:24,710
On Sesame seed Bunzillas.

196
00:09:25,711 --> 00:09:29,859
"Night of the Living
Garlic Bread"?

197
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:34,126
It's funny because "bread"
sounds like "dead".

198
00:09:35,711 --> 00:09:38,577
I'm sorry, but these
are just ordinary foods

199
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,193
with the names bent
into tortured puns.

200
00:09:41,195 --> 00:09:44,293
The dishes themselves
are in no way Halloweenie.

201
00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:46,859
Ooh, Hallow-weenies!

202
00:09:48,211 --> 00:09:49,526
That's a good one.

203
00:09:49,528 --> 00:09:53,193
They'll pair nicely
with my "Draculoni and Cheese."

204
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,909
How do I do it?

205
00:09:57,877 --> 00:09:59,126
That reminds me, I was thinking

206
00:09:59,128 --> 00:10:00,693
about wearing my NASA jumpsuit
as a costume.

207
00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:02,410
But then I realized everyone
would be, like,

208
00:10:02,412 --> 00:10:03,693
"Where's your costume?

209
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:05,876
Why are you wearing your work
clothes, you nut?"

210
00:10:07,411 --> 00:10:09,744
Hello, boys.

211
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:14,826
What are you smiling at?

212
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:17,410
Nothing.

213
00:10:18,311 --> 00:10:19,859
You know where's there's
a lot of nothing.

214
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:21,876
Space.

215
00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:30,693
Boy, it's nice to sleep in
a bed with gravity again.

216
00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:32,493
Did I tell you
about the night

217
00:10:32,495 --> 00:10:33,410
my retainer floated out

218
00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:34,876
of my mouth
and into the air lock?

219
00:10:34,878 --> 00:10:39,710
Yeah, you mentioned it
once or twice.

220
00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,793
So, here we are,

221
00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:44,743
just a couple
of young newlyweds.

222
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,377
What to do?

223
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,959
What to do to you?

224
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:57,410
Astronaut Wolowitz,
reporting for booty.

225
00:10:58,827 --> 00:11:01,460
Preparing thrusters.

226
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,460
We have liftoff.

227
00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:10,692
Are we clear to jettison
that nightgown?

228
00:11:10,694 --> 00:11:12,743
Okay, we need to talk.

229
00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,793
What?

230
00:11:14,795 --> 00:11:16,660
Howie, I know you
went to space.

231
00:11:16,662 --> 00:11:18,627
I'm incredibly
proud of you.

232
00:11:18,629 --> 00:11:20,210
But you might want to try

233
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,527
and not bring it up
every minute.

234
00:11:21,529 --> 00:11:24,210
I don't talk about it
every minute.

235
00:11:24,212 --> 00:11:27,360
Tonight at dinner you went on
about it for an hour straight.

236
00:11:27,362 --> 00:11:29,493
What was I supposed
to talk about?

237
00:11:29,495 --> 00:11:32,076
We were eating
at Johnny Rockets.

238
00:11:32,078 --> 00:11:34,543
I'm just saying,

239
00:11:34,545 --> 00:11:36,709
people are getting
a little tired of it.

240
00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:39,793
So, I did this
amazing thing

241
00:11:39,795 --> 00:11:42,709
and I'm never allowed
to mention it?

242
00:11:42,711 --> 00:11:44,193
Of course you can.

243
00:11:44,195 --> 00:11:46,526
But maybe a good
rule would be

244
00:11:46,528 --> 00:11:48,493
to wait for people
to bring it up.

245
00:11:48,495 --> 00:11:52,692
Okay, no problem.

246
00:11:52,694 --> 00:11:53,743
It won't happen again.

247
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,526
I love you.

248
00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:57,026
I love you, too.

249
00:11:58,877 --> 00:12:02,243
I can't tell you how
many times I dreamed

250
00:12:02,245 --> 00:12:06,993
I was in bed here
with you when I was...

251
00:12:06,995 --> 00:12:09,577
you know.

252
00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:13,543
What, I can't even point?

253
00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:25,406
So, basically, this is what's
called mag-lev technology.

254
00:12:25,408 --> 00:12:28,439
It uses very powerful
electromagnets

255
00:12:28,441 --> 00:12:31,155
to create a force strong
enough to overcome gravity.

256
00:12:31,157 --> 00:12:33,155
Here, you hold this.

257
00:12:33,157 --> 00:12:35,272
Whoa! That's heavy.

258
00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:37,738
Yeah. Oh, uh, you don't have
on any jewelry, do you?

259
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,888
No. Why?

260
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:42,406
A grad student forgot to take
out one of his piercings.

261
00:12:42,408 --> 00:12:44,688
Now he's on a
transplant list

262
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:46,522
waiting for a
nipple his size.

263
00:12:47,856 --> 00:12:50,489
Now watch this.

264
00:12:53,057 --> 00:12:56,688
Whoa!
That is very cool.

265
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,938
Sometimes I like
to turn this on

266
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:02,072
and pretend I'm the
super villain Magneto.

267
00:13:03,357 --> 00:13:05,655
It's getting a little
less cool, Leonard.

268
00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:08,905
But what I really am is
a very smart scientist

269
00:13:08,907 --> 00:13:10,655
who understands the
mechanics of the universe

270
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,005
and is wearing the sexy black
underwear you bought him.

271
00:13:13,007 --> 00:13:14,888
There we go.

272
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:20,189
So, I thought the photo
booth for the party could

273
00:13:20,191 --> 00:13:22,272
either be creepy like
a mummy's tomb,

274
00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:25,239
or they also have the Tardis
from Doctor Who.

275
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:27,189
A Tardis makes no sense.

276
00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:30,055
It's a time machine
from a science-fiction show.

277
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:31,621
It has nothing to do
with Halloween.

278
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:34,105
That being said,
if you don't get a Tardis,

279
00:13:34,107 --> 00:13:35,988
you stink
and your party stinks.

280
00:13:37,507 --> 00:13:39,105
Do you have a preference?

281
00:13:39,107 --> 00:13:40,605
I don't care. Get the Tardis.

282
00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:44,988
Yes! This party just
became a major rager.

283
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:46,988
Oh, by the way,

284
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:48,638
can I borrow your
bullwhip and fedora?

285
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,772
Yeah, sure, whatever.

286
00:13:50,774 --> 00:13:53,855
I was thinking of dressing up
as Indiana Jones'

287
00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:55,605
mocha-skinned love child.

288
00:13:57,606 --> 00:14:00,189
"Indian" Jones.

289
00:14:01,656 --> 00:14:03,972
Clever.

290
00:14:03,974 --> 00:14:05,322
What's wrong with you?

291
00:14:05,324 --> 00:14:06,888
Nothing.

292
00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:08,822
Oh, Howard, I've got
a party to plan.

293
00:14:08,824 --> 00:14:11,621
Don't make me
pull it out of you.

294
00:14:11,623 --> 00:14:13,655
Okay, here it is.

295
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:16,439
Bernadette said you guys are
all sick of me

296
00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:19,255
talking about my trip to space.

297
00:14:19,257 --> 00:14:20,688
Is that true?

298
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:23,655
No.
Yes.

299
00:14:24,723 --> 00:14:27,189
We seem to have
different approaches here.

300
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:28,888
I was going
for helpful honesty.

301
00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:32,389
I have no idea
what you're doing.

302
00:14:32,391 --> 00:14:35,505
It's called being nice.

303
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:36,855
Okay. If you think
being nice

304
00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:39,022
will get him to shut up,
I'll try it.

305
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:44,272
You know what, guys? Never mind.
I just won't talk

306
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:47,772
about the greatest achievement
of my life ever again.

307
00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:50,554
Look at that,
the problem solved itself.

308
00:14:57,156 --> 00:14:59,688
Hello, boys.

309
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,905
What if we were to go

310
00:15:04,907 --> 00:15:07,555
as dinner table favorites
salt and pepper?

311
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:10,439
You know salt makes me retain
water and my cousin William

312
00:15:10,441 --> 00:15:13,855
was ground to death
in a pepper factory accident.

313
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:16,772
How about
Raggedy Ann and Andy?

314
00:15:16,774 --> 00:15:17,905
I loved them
growing up.

315
00:15:17,907 --> 00:15:19,189
No, I don't think so.

316
00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:21,721
Those dolls represent
three things I do not care for:

317
00:15:21,723 --> 00:15:24,389
clowns, children
and raggediness.

318
00:15:26,856 --> 00:15:28,389
I think it's a lost cause.

319
00:15:28,391 --> 00:15:31,888
No. There are certain things
that say to the world,

320
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,289
"I have a boyfriend,
and he's not made up."

321
00:15:35,123 --> 00:15:36,721
Matching costumes,

322
00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:39,122
hickeys and sex tapes.

323
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,222
Pick one.

324
00:15:42,224 --> 00:15:44,988
What's a hickey?

325
00:16:01,056 --> 00:16:02,688
How do I look?

326
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:03,838
Fine.

327
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,105
Uh-oh, is someone a little blue?

328
00:16:11,989 --> 00:16:14,155
Come on, Howie,
that's like the funniest thing

329
00:16:14,157 --> 00:16:16,356
I've ever said in my life.

330
00:16:16,358 --> 00:16:17,772
What do you say?
You ready to go?

331
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:21,521
To tell you the truth,
I'm not really in the mood.

332
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,772
What are you talking about?

333
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,388
It'll be fun.
All your friends'll be there.

334
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:27,554
Yeah, some friends.
They all think I'm boring.

335
00:16:27,556 --> 00:16:29,072
Maybe you should go
without me.

336
00:16:29,074 --> 00:16:31,521
No, if I'm there alone,
people might think

337
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:35,255
I'm just a really short
person from Avatar.

338
00:16:35,257 --> 00:16:37,738
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to go.

339
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:41,688
Hey, I just spent the last three
hours coloring myself blue.

340
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:43,438
I'm gonna be
washing paint out

341
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,571
of my Smurf for a month!

342
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,571
Fine.

343
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:50,605
Two weeks ago
I was an astronaut.

344
00:16:50,607 --> 00:16:53,155
Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf.
Keep walking.

345
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:01,022
Oh, my God,
you guys look adorable!

346
00:17:01,024 --> 00:17:02,189
Thanks, so do you.

347
00:17:02,191 --> 00:17:04,005
Slutty cop?

348
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:05,222
No, sexy cop.

349
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:10,222
Slutty cop only came
with a skirt and two badges.

350
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:12,022
And Albert Einstein?

351
00:17:12,024 --> 00:17:14,322
Ja, und later
she's going to arrest me

352
00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:18,022
for goink fashter
zen da shpeed of light.

353
00:17:18,024 --> 00:17:20,772
I thought we said
in the car, no accents?

354
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,105
Sorry, Officer.

355
00:17:26,806 --> 00:17:29,438
Hello!

356
00:17:31,273 --> 00:17:32,721
It's a great party!

357
00:17:32,723 --> 00:17:34,555
Thank you!

358
00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:38,521
The monster foods,
they're really fun.

359
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:39,938
Oh, yes, thank you.

360
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:43,321
I like to think of fun things
like that because I'm fun.

361
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:46,938
I'm not clinically depressed
at all.

362
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,155
Sheldon, get in here!

363
00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:01,772
I should've picked hickey.

364
00:18:01,774 --> 00:18:03,905
Hey, hey,
look at you guys!

365
00:18:03,907 --> 00:18:07,688
I'm Raggedy Ann, and
he's Raggedy C-3PO.

366
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,388
It was a compromise.
I lost.

367
00:18:12,939 --> 00:18:15,022
Can you believe
Stuart's walking around

368
00:18:15,024 --> 00:18:16,521
taking credit
for this party?

369
00:18:16,523 --> 00:18:18,222
Who cares?

370
00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:20,355
What do you mean "who cares"?
Look at what I pulled off here.

371
00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:24,388
The deejay's on fire, there's
a Tardis photo booth in the back room,

372
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:26,488
and, oh, my God, the food!

373
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:29,471
Stuart wanted Kraft
Draculoni and cheese.

374
00:18:29,473 --> 00:18:31,521
You're right, the party's
fantastic. Please, tell me more.

375
00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:33,721
I haven't heard enough
about it all week

376
00:18:33,723 --> 00:18:35,888
because hearing about that
never gets old!

377
00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:37,471
Is this about the
space thing again?

378
00:18:37,473 --> 00:18:39,122
Well, I'm not allowed
to talk about it,

379
00:18:39,124 --> 00:18:41,905
but since you brought it up,
I went to space!

380
00:18:41,907 --> 00:18:44,638
Space, space, space!
Space, space, space!

381
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,888
Whoa, Drinky Smurf.

382
00:18:48,773 --> 00:18:50,638
Can I talk to you
for a second?

383
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,055
Great, now I'm in trouble.

384
00:18:53,057 --> 00:18:54,688
You happy?

385
00:18:55,372 --> 00:18:57,355
You, out!

386
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,655
You are being very rude!

387
00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,905
No, I'm not.
They're all being rude.

388
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:03,955
And you're being rude.

389
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:05,271
Me? What did I do?

390
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:09,022
"Oh, Howie...

391
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:12,105
"stop talking
about space so much.

392
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,888
Nobody likes it."

393
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:18,488
I don't sound like that.

394
00:19:20,173 --> 00:19:21,321
You're my wife.

395
00:19:21,323 --> 00:19:23,055
You're supposed
to be on my side.

396
00:19:23,057 --> 00:19:25,304
I'm always on your side.

397
00:19:25,306 --> 00:19:27,838
Then why are you trying
to take this away from me?

398
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,105
Being an astronaut is

399
00:19:30,107 --> 00:19:34,221
the coolest thing
I'm ever gonna do.

400
00:19:34,223 --> 00:19:37,888
If I stop talking about it,
then I'm just...

401
00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:39,788
Just what?

402
00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:44,488
Just plain old
Howard Wolowitz again.

403
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:48,738
Plain old Howard Wolowitz
is the best guy I know.

404
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:50,405
You're just saying that.

405
00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:53,721
No, I'm not.
I married him.

406
00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:55,855
On purpose.

407
00:19:56,889 --> 00:19:58,721
Come here.

408
00:19:58,723 --> 00:20:00,055
I love you.

409
00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:01,721
I love you, too.

410
00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:11,772
Nothing to see here.
Just sexy police business.

411
00:20:13,356 --> 00:20:15,355
Just explaining
the theory of relativity.

412
00:20:16,106 --> 00:20:17,855
Twice.

413
00:20:26,635 --> 00:20:28,034
Hey, what you watching?

414
00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:28,669
I don't know.

415
00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:32,701
Raj sent me some video
of Buzz Aldrin.

416
00:20:33,244 --> 00:20:37,225
Here you go.
It's a Milky Way.

417
00:20:37,227 --> 00:20:41,625
The Milky Way's
a galaxy in space.

418
00:20:41,627 --> 00:20:43,792
I've been in space.

419
00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:49,459
Here's a Mars bar.

420
00:20:49,461 --> 00:20:51,125
I'm an astronaut.

421
00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:58,191
And this one's a Moon Pie.

422
00:20:58,193 --> 00:21:01,709
I walked on the Moon.

423
00:21:01,711 --> 00:21:03,859
What have you done?

424
00:21:07,622 --> 00:21:08,921
Okay, I get it.

425
00:21:08,923 --> 00:21:12,919
== sync, corrected by elderman ==