1
00:00:00,485 --> 00:00:01,618
They are not.

2
00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:02,751
They are, too.

3
00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:04,284
Your hypothesis is
completely disconfirmed

4
00:00:04,286 --> 00:00:05,884
by all the data.

5
00:00:05,886 --> 00:00:07,151
You're just clinging to it

6
00:00:07,153 --> 00:00:09,084
out of intellectual
stubbornness.

7
00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:10,751
No, you're displaying
a shocking ignorance

8
00:00:10,753 --> 00:00:12,284
of the subject matter.

9
00:00:12,286 --> 00:00:15,950
Mummies and zombies
are the exact same thing.

10
00:00:15,952 --> 00:00:18,317
Oh, yeah?

11
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,651
Mummies are wrapped in bandages.

12
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,401
That's called a fashion choice.

13
00:00:24,368 --> 00:00:27,317
All right,
you brought this on yourself.

14
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,517
Sheldon, get him.

15
00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:30,367
If a zombie bites you,

16
00:00:30,369 --> 00:00:31,684
you turn into a zombie.

17
00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:34,017
However, if a mummy bites you,

18
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:37,067
all you turn into is
some schmo with a mummy bite.

19
00:00:37,069 --> 00:00:38,900
So, like a zombie,

20
00:00:38,902 --> 00:00:40,950
that's been eaten
from the waist down,

21
00:00:40,952 --> 00:00:43,451
you, sir,
have no leg to stand on.

22
00:00:43,453 --> 00:00:44,900
Good boy.
Here's a cookie.

23
00:00:44,902 --> 00:00:46,701
Oh, thank you.

24
00:00:46,703 --> 00:00:49,017
Hey, fellas,
what's going on?

25
00:00:49,019 --> 00:00:50,784
Mummies and zombies again.

26
00:00:50,786 --> 00:00:54,067
Oh, they're not
the same thing.

27
00:00:54,069 --> 00:00:55,451
You get a cookie, too.

28
00:00:55,453 --> 00:00:57,117
Thanks.

29
00:00:57,119 --> 00:01:00,784
Guess who picked up his
new car this morning?

30
00:01:00,786 --> 00:01:02,350
Congratulations.

31
00:01:02,352 --> 00:01:04,367
Does it have that new car smell?
Yep!

32
00:01:04,369 --> 00:01:06,534
For as long as I can keep
my mother out of it.

33
00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:08,734
If you want to check
it out later,

34
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,350
it's parked right out front,
space 294.

35
00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:14,067
I'm sorry... 294?

36
00:01:14,069 --> 00:01:17,151
Yeah.
That's my parking spot.

37
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:19,817
Why do you have a parking spot?

38
00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:21,884
You don't have a car.
You don't even drive.

39
00:01:21,886 --> 00:01:23,201
It doesn't matter.

40
00:01:23,203 --> 00:01:24,651
That's my spot.

41
00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:26,618
Maybe they reassigned it

42
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,984
because you never use it.

43
00:01:27,986 --> 00:01:29,568
Well, I'm not using
my nipples, either.

44
00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:31,734
Maybe they should
reassign those.

45
00:01:31,736 --> 00:01:35,783
Sheldon,
someday, if you get a car,

46
00:01:35,785 --> 00:01:38,783
I'm sure they'll give you
another parking space.

47
00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:40,284
I don't want
another parking space.

48
00:01:40,286 --> 00:01:42,184
I want my parking space.

49
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,201
It's perfect.

50
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:44,517
It's a corner spot,

51
00:01:44,519 --> 00:01:45,900
cutting the risk of
door-dings in half.

52
00:01:45,902 --> 00:01:47,184
It's a mere 28 steps

53
00:01:47,186 --> 00:01:48,684
from the building entrance.

54
00:01:48,686 --> 00:01:52,067
The nearby tree provides shade
on hot days

55
00:01:52,069 --> 00:01:55,201
and is also home
to a delightful squirrel.

56
00:01:55,203 --> 00:01:56,817
Which is fortuitous

57
00:01:56,819 --> 00:01:59,517
because most squirrels
are real jerks.

58
00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:02,900
Fun story.

59
00:02:02,902 --> 00:02:05,317
Meanwhile,
you still don't have a car.

60
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:06,967
Don't try to change the subject.

61
00:02:06,969 --> 00:02:08,451
This is about a parking space.

62
00:02:08,453 --> 00:02:10,401
It has nothing to do with cars.

63
00:02:10,403 --> 00:02:12,684
Are you listening to yourself?

64
00:02:12,686 --> 00:02:13,950
I always listen to myself.

65
00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:15,783
It's one of the great joys
of my life.

66
00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:18,950
Now, get your car
out of my spot.

67
00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:19,950
Nope.

68
00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:21,401
Very well.

69
00:02:21,403 --> 00:02:22,984
You leave me no choice.

70
00:02:29,119 --> 00:02:31,984
What are you looking at,
you stupid squirrel?

71
00:02:56,882 --> 00:03:00,379
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

72
00:03:02,192 --> 00:03:05,258
President Siebert,
listen to reason.

73
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,141
Yeah, I understand
I don't use the parking spot,

74
00:03:08,143 --> 00:03:09,824
but that's not the point.

75
00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:11,174
I...

76
00:03:11,176 --> 00:03:14,824
Yes, I'm aware you told me
not to call you at home.

77
00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:16,757
But you didn't answer the door!

78
00:03:16,759 --> 00:03:18,625
And I know

79
00:03:18,627 --> 00:03:20,957
you were there, because I saw
you through the mail slot.

80
00:03:22,342 --> 00:03:24,508
Well, that's some
salty language.

81
00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:27,674
May I remind you that you're the
president of a major university,

82
00:03:27,676 --> 00:03:30,174
not the president
of the Potty Mouth Club.

83
00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:32,091
There it is again.

84
00:03:32,093 --> 00:03:34,558
Do you kiss your mother
with that mouth?

85
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,508
Oh, well, I'm sorry
for your loss.

86
00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,341
Oh...!
Good night, sir.

87
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:41,591
Unbelievable.

88
00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:44,141
He says Wolowitz deserves
my spot

89
00:03:44,143 --> 00:03:47,475
because he's a high-profile
asset to the university.

90
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,640
Well, he's not wrong.

91
00:03:48,642 --> 00:03:50,790
Howard did go to the
International Space Station.

92
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:52,291
Yeah, that was five weeks ago.

93
00:03:52,293 --> 00:03:54,591
How much longer
is he gonna milk that cow?

94
00:03:54,593 --> 00:03:56,724
Sheldon, let it go.

95
00:03:56,726 --> 00:03:58,141
It's not a big deal.

96
00:03:58,143 --> 00:04:00,308
No, no, this is
a slippery slope, Leonard.

97
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,158
It starts with a parking space.

98
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,458
Where does it end?

99
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,807
It's like my dad always said,

100
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,807
"First they say you can't drink
and drive.

101
00:04:06,809 --> 00:04:08,724
"Next thing you know,
you can't let your 10-year-old

102
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:12,674
take the wheel while you sleep
one off in the backseat."

103
00:04:12,676 --> 00:04:17,558
All that story does is make me
feel bad for your mother.

104
00:04:20,309 --> 00:04:21,640
Leonard, you're my best friend.

105
00:04:21,642 --> 00:04:23,258
Why don't you ever take my side?

106
00:04:24,309 --> 00:04:27,957
Because I can never
understand your side!

107
00:04:30,624 --> 00:04:31,757
Give it back.

108
00:04:31,759 --> 00:04:32,891
I'm sorry,

109
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:35,458
but could you be more specific?

110
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,640
My Iron Man helmet.

111
00:04:36,642 --> 00:04:38,291
Koothrappali saw you take it.
Give it back.

112
00:04:38,293 --> 00:04:40,308
Oh, that.

113
00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:42,458
Well, see, I wanted it,

114
00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:45,291
and you weren't using it.

115
00:04:46,259 --> 00:04:49,558
Apparently, those are the rules
we live by now.

116
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,957
Payback...

117
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,590
it truly is the B word,
isn't it?

118
00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:59,091
Sheldon, that is a $500
limited edition collectible,

119
00:04:59,093 --> 00:05:01,058
and I want it back.

120
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:04,258
I'd love to help you out,
but unfortunately,

121
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,425
I'm using it.

122
00:05:10,925 --> 00:05:11,974
Fine.

123
00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:13,757
I'm taking your diploma.

124
00:05:13,759 --> 00:05:16,258
Go ahead.

125
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,924
That's the only doctorate
you'll ever get.

126
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:26,375
It smells funny in here.

127
00:05:27,591 --> 00:05:29,007
We're so proud of you, Amy.

128
00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:30,391
Your first bikini wax.

129
00:05:30,393 --> 00:05:32,508
Yeah.

130
00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:39,790
So, how you doing?

131
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:41,891
A little sensitive, but not bad.

132
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,623
Does it always
take that long?

133
00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:44,924
Uh, no,

134
00:05:44,926 --> 00:05:47,790
they usually don't have
to go out and get more wax.

135
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,224
I feel like I'm
five pounds lighter.

136
00:05:53,392 --> 00:05:56,224
Really? Only five?

137
00:05:58,259 --> 00:05:59,425
Hey, anybody want a drink?

138
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,657
Okay.
Sure.

139
00:06:00,659 --> 00:06:02,590
So, did you spend
last night hearing

140
00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:05,291
about this silly parking
space fight, too?

141
00:06:05,293 --> 00:06:07,807
For hours. Fortunately,
I couldn't understand most of it

142
00:06:07,809 --> 00:06:11,007
'cause Sheldon was wearing
that stupid robot mask.

143
00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,091
Howard was so angry

144
00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:15,191
I had to mash up Benadryl
in his ice cream

145
00:06:15,193 --> 00:06:17,590
to get him to fall asleep.

146
00:06:17,592 --> 00:06:19,174
I guess this is what we get

147
00:06:19,176 --> 00:06:22,724
for being with two
testosterone-fueled alpha males.

148
00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:23,924
At some point,

149
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,058
they're bound to lock horns.

150
00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,841
I'm assuming these
are some kind of horns

151
00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:29,757
they bought at Comic-Con?

152
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:34,490
I'm really sorry
they took Sheldon's spot away.

153
00:06:34,492 --> 00:06:35,724
He shouldn't have to suffer

154
00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:37,640
just because Howard's
such a big deal now.

155
00:06:37,642 --> 00:06:39,790
I know,
Sheldon should just let Howard

156
00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:41,590
have his little moment
in the sun.

157
00:06:41,592 --> 00:06:43,590
What's that supposed to mean?

158
00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:46,457
Well, Howard's never gonna
go to space again,

159
00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:50,291
but Sheldon
will always be a genius.

160
00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:52,058
You're right.

161
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,590
And I'm sure Sheldon will get
a fancy parking spot again,

162
00:06:54,592 --> 00:06:55,891
if and when he makes

163
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:58,457
a worthwhile contribution
to science.

164
00:06:59,675 --> 00:07:01,557
If and when?
Okay,

165
00:07:01,559 --> 00:07:03,891
maybe we should change
the subject. Amy, how are

166
00:07:03,893 --> 00:07:06,124
your lady parts?
Still chilly down there?

167
00:07:07,791 --> 00:07:09,224
Hang on.

168
00:07:09,226 --> 00:07:10,841
None of Sheldon's theories

169
00:07:10,843 --> 00:07:12,557
have ever been
definitively proven.

170
00:07:12,559 --> 00:07:15,557
My husband actually went
to outer space.

171
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:17,574
That's an impressive
accomplishment.

172
00:07:17,576 --> 00:07:19,674
He's now an inspiration
to millions of Americans

173
00:07:19,676 --> 00:07:21,308
who know you don't have
to be special

174
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,457
or even qualified
to go into space.

175
00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:27,707
You know, I remember the
first time I got a bikini wax.

176
00:07:27,709 --> 00:07:31,640
My sister did it with melted
Crayolas and duct tape.

177
00:07:31,642 --> 00:07:35,457
It's a bad idea...

178
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:37,590
Gosh, Amy.

179
00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,457
I'm sensing a little hostility.

180
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,308
Is it maybe because,
like Sheldon's work,

181
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:44,058
your sex life
is also theoretical?

182
00:07:46,625 --> 00:07:48,807
Damn.

183
00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:52,807
Yeah, well, at least
when we do make love,

184
00:07:52,809 --> 00:07:55,623
Sheldon won't be thinking
about his mother.

185
00:07:57,758 --> 00:07:59,674
And yes, that is a cleverly
veiled reference

186
00:07:59,676 --> 00:08:00,957
to Howard's lifelong obsession

187
00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:03,724
to crawl back
into her spacious womb.

188
00:08:05,175 --> 00:08:06,924
Anyway, to this day,
I still can't see

189
00:08:06,926 --> 00:08:09,623
a box of crayons without
crossing my legs.

190
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:12,557
I don't have to take this.

191
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,557
I'm gonna go home and have sex
with my husband right now.

192
00:08:15,559 --> 00:08:19,224
Maybe I'll let him do it
to me in the parking spot.

193
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:24,291
Which sounds dirty,
but I didn't mean it that way!

194
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,790
Okay, here's another one:

195
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:31,590
If a zombie bites a vampire,

196
00:08:31,592 --> 00:08:34,457
and the vampire bites a human,

197
00:08:34,459 --> 00:08:37,557
does the human become
a vampire or a zombie?

198
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,374
Or a zompire?

199
00:08:42,259 --> 00:08:44,424
Sheldon?

200
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:47,557
Cookie.

201
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,557
I don't have any.

202
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,224
Well, I'm not giving it away.

203
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,141
Hi, Sheldon.

204
00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,258
He's in my spot.

205
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:04,924
Leonard, make him stop
being naked in my spot.

206
00:09:04,926 --> 00:09:08,058
Howard,
what are you doing?

207
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:10,590
He wasn't using it.

208
00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:14,058
And I needed a nice cool piece
of leather

209
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:16,640
to wiggle my naked ass on.

210
00:09:17,508 --> 00:09:19,124
Get off there.

211
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,857
Give me back my Iron Man helmet.

212
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,307
Give me back my parking space.

213
00:09:22,309 --> 00:09:23,841
You don't need
a parking space.

214
00:09:23,843 --> 00:09:24,974
You don't have a car.

215
00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:26,474
You don't need
an Iron Man helmet.

216
00:09:26,476 --> 00:09:28,390
You're not Iron Man.

217
00:09:29,992 --> 00:09:32,191
Well, we appear
to have reached an impasse.

218
00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:33,307
And you know,

219
00:09:33,309 --> 00:09:34,440
I have to say, I thought

220
00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:35,841
you'd be more upset
that your laptop

221
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,741
is sitting on my junk.

222
00:09:40,725 --> 00:09:42,007
I didn't pick up on that.

223
00:09:42,009 --> 00:09:43,224
That's a nice touch.

224
00:09:57,507 --> 00:09:58,800
This is so exciting.

225
00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,183
I'm feeling all tingly.

226
00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:03,265
Although that could just be
my newly defoliated bikini zone.

227
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:05,466
Keep a lookout.

228
00:10:05,468 --> 00:10:08,249
This place is swarming
with campus security.

229
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,933
They will not
hesitate to scold us.

230
00:10:10,935 --> 00:10:13,100
Freaking pigs.

231
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,933
Oh, yeah.

232
00:10:21,217 --> 00:10:22,916
Okay, now,

233
00:10:22,918 --> 00:10:25,415
pull your car into the spot
and let's get out of here.

234
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,216
Wait, I'm leaving my car here?

235
00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:29,766
Yes, and be sure and put
on the emergency brake.

236
00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:31,466
Really makes these
things tough to budge.

237
00:10:31,468 --> 00:10:35,050
Before I park,
come in the backseat.

238
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:38,050
I want to show you something
I had done today.

239
00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:40,766
All right, color me intrigued.

240
00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:47,366
What do you think?

241
00:10:47,368 --> 00:10:50,382
I think you're high
on paint fumes.

242
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:53,966
And boy, that's a lot
of Band-Aids.

243
00:10:55,184 --> 00:10:58,050
Okay, Howard's mother
is in, like,

244
00:10:58,052 --> 00:10:59,582
every one
of your wedding photos.

245
00:10:59,584 --> 00:11:02,966
What can I tell ya?
She's a big girl.

246
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,248
Wherever you look,
there she is.

247
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,415
More coffee?

248
00:11:10,417 --> 00:11:13,265
No, Leonard's taking me
to a physics lecture,

249
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:15,766
and coffee'll
just keep me awake.

250
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,382
Oh, I'll get it.

251
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:26,432
Oh, looks like someone's on
Team Bernadette.

252
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,016
Where's Howard?

253
00:11:29,018 --> 00:11:30,966
He's not here. What's wrong?

254
00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:31,966
He had my car towed.

255
00:11:31,968 --> 00:11:33,716
It cost me $200
to get it back.

256
00:11:33,718 --> 00:11:35,265
Oh, no.

257
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:37,599
Where was it parked?

258
00:11:39,134 --> 00:11:41,215
In Sheldon's spot.

259
00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,632
That doesn't make sense.

260
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,415
Sheldon doesn't have a spot.

261
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:47,466
Was it maybe in Howard's spot?

262
00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:50,549
Don't play dumb with me, sister.

263
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,299
You tell your husband
he owes me $200.

264
00:11:52,301 --> 00:11:54,182
Well, that doesn't
make sense, either.

265
00:11:54,184 --> 00:11:55,265
Why not?

266
00:11:55,267 --> 00:11:58,299
Because I'm the one
who had it towed.

267
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,549
You?

268
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:04,799
Didn't see that one coming,
did ya?

269
00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:05,933
Oh, yeah?

270
00:12:05,935 --> 00:12:07,599
Well, you're not gonna see
this coming.

271
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:08,933
Ow! Ow!

272
00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:11,466
Oh, my God,
are you okay?

273
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,599
What the hell
do you have in there?

274
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,883
Just my wallet, keys and
a coffee can full of change

275
00:12:16,885 --> 00:12:18,799
I've been meaning
to take to the bank.

276
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,299
Don't move.
I'll get some ice.

277
00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:22,248
Are you okay?

278
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,716
Get away from me
or I swear to God

279
00:12:23,718 --> 00:12:25,749
I will rip out what's left
of your pubes!

280
00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:28,916
Here.
Thanks. Ah!

281
00:12:28,918 --> 00:12:31,415
Amy, you think maybe this has
gotten a little out of hand?

282
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,265
Gee, you think?

283
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:35,215
I do.

284
00:12:35,217 --> 00:12:37,599
Penny, Bernadette
and I are sorry.

285
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:39,265
You hit her! What did I do?

286
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:40,466
You had my car towed.

287
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,382
You were parked in
Howard's spot!

288
00:12:42,384 --> 00:12:43,599
I was parked in Sheldon's spot!

289
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:45,083
Sheldon doesn't have a spot!

290
00:12:45,085 --> 00:12:47,916
Guys, I think I need to go
to the emergency room.

291
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,916
Okay, let's go.
I'll drive.

292
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:52,382
You can see where the tow
truck scratched my car.

293
00:12:52,384 --> 00:12:54,248
The tow truck didn't scratch
your car.

294
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:56,215
How do you know?
'Cause I did it!

295
00:13:06,216 --> 00:13:08,582
Morning, Professor Stevens.

296
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:10,050
Don't look at that whiteboard.

297
00:13:10,052 --> 00:13:12,382
That's my math, not your math.

298
00:13:12,384 --> 00:13:13,766
Keep walking, nosey.

299
00:13:14,717 --> 00:13:17,382
What the hell
are you doing?

300
00:13:17,384 --> 00:13:19,132
Oh...

301
00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:23,182
You said I'm not using my space,
so... I'm using it.

302
00:13:26,051 --> 00:13:28,683
Okay, you need to move now.

303
00:13:28,685 --> 00:13:30,349
No, I don't.

304
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,466
You can't stay there forever.

305
00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:35,382
Actually, I have a plastic baggy

306
00:13:35,384 --> 00:13:38,265
strapped to my leg
that says I can.

307
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,683
Give up, Wolowitz.

308
00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:42,516
You've chosen to tangle

309
00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:44,549
with a superior intellect
you can't defeat.

310
00:13:44,551 --> 00:13:46,549
There is nothing you could
possibly do to...

311
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,916
Those aren't gonna help you,
Sheldon!

312
00:13:57,918 --> 00:13:59,516
Oh, yes, they are!

313
00:13:59,518 --> 00:14:01,599
I mean, what?

314
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:03,766
I'm warning you, Sheldon!

315
00:14:03,768 --> 00:14:05,432
Your threats are empty!

316
00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:07,248
Nothing can move me!

317
00:14:08,517 --> 00:14:09,466
Stop that!

318
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:10,849
Get out of my spot!

319
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:11,766
That's it.

320
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,582
I am calling campus security!

321
00:14:13,584 --> 00:14:17,265
You prepare for the
scolding of your life!

322
00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:19,082
What are you idiots doing?

323
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:21,182
He's trying to kill me, Leonard!

324
00:14:21,184 --> 00:14:22,883
Video games
and rock music

325
00:14:22,885 --> 00:14:24,716
have desensitized
him to violence!

326
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,933
Would you please
talk some sense

327
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,933
into your
lunatic roommate?

328
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,516
You're both acting
like lunatics.

329
00:14:31,518 --> 00:14:34,516
It's just a parking spot.
It's not just a parking spot!

330
00:14:34,518 --> 00:14:35,716
He can't handle
the fact that

331
00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,683
I'm a bigger deal
than he is now.

332
00:14:37,685 --> 00:14:39,766
Oh, preposterous!

333
00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:41,349
I have been solely responsible

334
00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:44,248
for this university's six-loop
quantum gravity calculations;

335
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,516
I have changed
the way we think

336
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:48,849
about Bose-Einstein condensates,
and I am also the one

337
00:14:48,851 --> 00:14:52,099
who got Nutter Butters in
the cafeteria vending machine.

338
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:55,132
Maybe you missed that news
while you were

339
00:14:55,134 --> 00:14:56,965
floating around like a goof
in outer space.

340
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,466
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.

341
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,265
Can you believe this guy?

342
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:06,599
What I don't believe is that you
tried to run him over.

343
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,099
Oh, like you've never
thought of doing that.

344
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:13,349
Don't hate me just because
I lived the dream.

345
00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:15,716
Hey.

346
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:17,582
Sweet ride!

347
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:22,299
What are you doing
in there?

348
00:15:22,301 --> 00:15:24,883
Just breaking in your new car.

349
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:29,849
Stop that!
You stop that!

350
00:15:29,851 --> 00:15:31,248
You know what they say?

351
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:35,248
Revenge is a dish
best served nude.

352
00:15:39,685 --> 00:15:41,616
Hey, got a minute?

353
00:15:41,618 --> 00:15:42,799
Oh, of course, come in.

354
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,849
This is an authentic Chinese
throwing star,

355
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,099
and I must warn you,

356
00:15:53,101 --> 00:15:55,415
I have seen many people
throw them in movies.

357
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,716
Calm down.

358
00:15:57,718 --> 00:15:59,649
Howard has something he
wants to say to you.

359
00:15:59,651 --> 00:16:01,248
All right.

360
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:08,015
Sheldon, when this whole thing
with the parking space started,

361
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:12,416
I had no idea just how much
of a crazy bastard...

362
00:16:12,418 --> 00:16:14,249
Howard...

363
00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:15,766
that's not how
we practiced it.

364
00:16:15,768 --> 00:16:20,265
I had no idea how much that spot
meant to you.

365
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:21,783
Anyway, I called

366
00:16:21,785 --> 00:16:24,783
President Siebert and told him

367
00:16:24,785 --> 00:16:27,599
it's not worth fighting over
the spot,

368
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,915
so you keep it, and I'll park

369
00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:32,282
in the structure
across the street.

370
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:35,632
Well, Howard, thank you.

371
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:39,915
It's quite a gesture
on your part.

372
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:42,415
You've shown yourself
to be the bigger man.

373
00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:43,382
Thank you.

374
00:16:43,384 --> 00:16:45,948
Which I find totally
unacceptable.

375
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:49,265
I must be the bigger man.

376
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:53,882
Therefore, you may use my spot
until such time

377
00:16:53,884 --> 00:16:57,582
as I learn to drive
or get a Batmobile.

378
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,466
Wow, okay.

379
00:17:00,468 --> 00:17:02,215
Well, thanks.

380
00:17:02,217 --> 00:17:04,549
I don't know
what to say.

381
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:06,049
There is nothing to say.

382
00:17:06,051 --> 00:17:07,915
Except I'm the bigger man.

383
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,415
I'm not kidding. Say it.

384
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,848
Just say it.

385
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:17,399
You're the bigger man, Sheldon.

386
00:17:17,401 --> 00:17:19,182
Oh, stop.

387
00:17:19,184 --> 00:17:23,466
And I believe
this is yours.

388
00:17:23,468 --> 00:17:26,015
FYI, if you wear that
into a bank,

389
00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:28,082
they will tackle you
to the ground.

390
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:34,716
I'd like
to propose a toast...

391
00:17:34,718 --> 00:17:36,932
to burying the hatchet.

392
00:17:36,934 --> 00:17:39,466
To burying the hatchet.

393
00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:43,683
You know, I'm kind of glad
this happened.

394
00:17:43,685 --> 00:17:45,248
Me, too.

395
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,299
In some weird way, I kind of
feel like it brought us closer.

396
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,349
Yeah, everybody's happy.
Great!

397
00:18:02,718 --> 00:18:04,083
Can I help you?

398
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:07,117
Yes. According
to information

399
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,417
I gleaned from Yelp,

400
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:12,350
you had great success when
a santeriasuzy37

401
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,250
brought you a pair
of leather slacks

402
00:18:14,252 --> 00:18:16,083
stained with chicken blood.

403
00:18:17,251 --> 00:18:20,300
I believe I may have
a similar problem.

404
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:27,967
This cushion experienced
a nude revenge wiggle.

405
00:18:27,969 --> 00:18:30,417
A what?

406
00:18:30,419 --> 00:18:32,800
A naked man sat on it.

407
00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,584
Now, here's my concern:

408
00:18:34,586 --> 00:18:38,517
His diet is rich in
fatty deli meats.

409
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,749
What test do you have
to detect lipid residue?

410
00:18:42,751 --> 00:18:45,634
Lipid what?

411
00:18:45,636 --> 00:18:48,417
Lipid residue.

412
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,584
An anal autograph.

413
00:18:51,385 --> 00:18:54,551
A colon calling card,
if you will.

414
00:18:57,552 --> 00:18:59,284
Tuesday okay?

415
00:19:00,468 --> 00:19:01,417
Don't rush it.

416
00:19:01,419 --> 00:19:03,050
We may be dealing
with befoulment

417
00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:04,916
on a molecular level.

418
00:19:04,918 --> 00:19:07,883
Let me write
you a ticket.

419
00:19:09,451 --> 00:19:11,601
Is that your son?

420
00:19:11,603 --> 00:19:13,584
Uh-huh.

421
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,716
Looks like that laptop's
seen better days.

422
00:19:16,718 --> 00:19:19,684
If you're interested,
I'm selling this.

423
00:19:19,686 --> 00:19:21,217
It's only two years old,

424
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:22,967
16 gigabytes of RAM,

425
00:19:22,969 --> 00:19:25,050
Intel core,
i7 processor,

426
00:19:25,052 --> 00:19:26,883
and I can personally guarantee

427
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,933
it has spent less than
20 minutes resting on

428
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,217
an astronaut's penis.

429
00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:35,214
== sync, corrected by elderman ==