1
00:00:01,209 --> 00:00:02,910
Oh, dear.

2
00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:04,909
Penny, have you been
recording shows

3
00:00:04,911 --> 00:00:06,742
on our DVR again?
No.

4
00:00:06,744 --> 00:00:09,410
Answer honestly.
This is not a trial.

5
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,659
That'll come later.

6
00:00:12,661 --> 00:00:14,926
Absolutely not.

7
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,026
Help me out here.
I can't afford another demerit.

8
00:00:17,028 --> 00:00:18,009
Yeah.

9
00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:20,859
Uh... maybe we were hacked.

10
00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:23,892
You know, the Chinese have been
hacking everything lately.

11
00:00:23,894 --> 00:00:29,143
Why would the Chinese make our
Mall Cop?

12
00:00:31,194 --> 00:00:32,642
I don't know.

13
00:00:32,644 --> 00:00:35,675
It's a fat guy on a Segway.
That's funny everywhere.

14
00:00:35,677 --> 00:00:37,442
I'm deleting it.

15
00:00:37,444 --> 00:00:38,809
Well, hang on.

16
00:00:38,811 --> 00:00:41,642
Maybe the Chinese haven't
finished watching it yet.

17
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,360
You know, if you're trying
to make space on the DVR,

18
00:00:45,362 --> 00:00:46,692
why don't you just get rid of

19
00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:48,193
some of the stuff
you've already watched?

20
00:00:48,195 --> 00:00:49,842
Like, um... Alphas.

21
00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:51,692
No, that's
the season two finale.

22
00:00:51,694 --> 00:00:53,026
That was quite the cliffhanger.

23
00:00:53,028 --> 00:00:55,176
I'm going to re-watch it
before season three starts.

24
00:00:55,178 --> 00:00:57,343
There is no season three.
They canceled that show.

25
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,360
Well, they can't cancel it.

26
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,143
It ended on a cliffhanger.

27
00:01:04,910 --> 00:01:06,609
- They did.
- Uh, Sheldon,

28
00:01:06,611 --> 00:01:08,176
there are two dumplings left.
Do you want them?

29
00:01:08,178 --> 00:01:09,508
Dumplings?

30
00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:11,509
Don't you understand
what's going on here?

31
00:01:11,511 --> 00:01:13,508
As a rule, no.

32
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:16,759
That show ended with all
the residents of New York

33
00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:18,226
either dead or unconscious.

34
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:20,859
Now I'll never know
what happened.

35
00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,942
Well, why don't you
make up your own ending?

36
00:01:22,944 --> 00:01:25,343
Oh, sure, what a wonderful idea.

37
00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:26,525
And after that,

38
00:01:26,527 --> 00:01:28,559
I'll make up my own rules
of oral hygiene.

39
00:01:28,561 --> 00:01:30,976
You know, instead of flossing,
I'll rub pudding on my gums.

40
00:01:30,978 --> 00:01:33,359
I'm going to get the number
of the SyFy Channel

41
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,109
and give them what for.

42
00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:36,392
Oh, please, don't do that.

43
00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:39,009
No. They can't just cancel
a show like Alphas.

44
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,392
You know? They have to help
the viewers let go.

45
00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:44,392
Firefly did a movie
to wrap things up.

46
00:01:44,394 --> 00:01:47,392
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
continued on as a comic book.

47
00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:50,776
Heroes gradually lowered
the quality season by season

48
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,609
till we were grateful it ended.

49
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:55,459
I feel bad for whoever
gets that phone call.

50
00:01:55,461 --> 00:01:56,776
Ah, don't.

51
00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:59,076
If they didn't want to be
yelled at by crazy nerds,

52
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,836
they shouldn't have started
a sci-fi channel.

53
00:02:26,381 --> 00:02:31,376
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

54
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,042
I think you're gonna
be really happy

55
00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:34,042
with this security camera.

56
00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:35,525
The optics are great,

57
00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:36,909
it's got infrared technology,

58
00:02:36,911 --> 00:02:38,259
and there's even

59
00:02:38,261 --> 00:02:39,909
a backup battery
when the power goes out.

60
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:41,059
Whatever.

61
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,492
I can see my little princess

62
00:02:42,494 --> 00:02:44,659
while I'm at work, right?

63
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:48,391
Why can't you just watch porn
like a regular guy?

64
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:53,076
I need your laptop so I can
configure the software.

65
00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:54,159
Wait, hold on.

66
00:02:54,161 --> 00:02:55,725
This is weird.

67
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:56,909
What?

68
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,243
I was Googling that girl
I've been dating,

69
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,892
and I found her blog.

70
00:02:59,894 --> 00:03:01,076
Cool.

71
00:03:01,078 --> 00:03:02,325
Anything juicy?

72
00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:04,159
She said she recently
went on a date

73
00:03:04,161 --> 00:03:05,592
with a guy named Roger?

74
00:03:07,409 --> 00:03:09,358
And he's Indian?

75
00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:12,525
And he's an astrophysicist, too?

76
00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:17,273
You know what's going on,
don't you?

77
00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:17,739
Yes.

78
00:03:17,744 --> 00:03:18,992
Mummy was right.

79
00:03:18,994 --> 00:03:21,742
American girls are
sexually voracious devils.

80
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:24,109
I can't believe
I have to explain this.

81
00:03:24,111 --> 00:03:27,575
People change names on blogs
to protect their privacy.

82
00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:30,224
Roger is Raj.

83
00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:31,775
Oh.

84
00:03:31,777 --> 00:03:33,725
I always thought,
if I had a white name,

85
00:03:33,727 --> 00:03:35,892
it would be Gavin.

86
00:03:37,576 --> 00:03:39,275
Keep reading.
What does it say?

87
00:03:39,277 --> 00:03:40,825
No, no, I don't know
if I should.

88
00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:43,558
If she wanted me to know about
her blog, she would've told me.

89
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,942
It's almost like
I'm reading her diary.

90
00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:47,525
That's exactly what it's like.
Keep reading.

91
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:49,742
No, this is creepy.

92
00:03:49,744 --> 00:03:52,242
Oh, I think we were looking
at creepy in the rearview mirror

93
00:03:52,244 --> 00:03:55,109
when I put up that camera.

94
00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:58,775
It's not creepy.
Don't listen to him.

95
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:03,109
Oh, look who's got
the sweetest kisses.

96
00:04:11,192 --> 00:04:12,859
Should I go?

97
00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:20,224
With all the TV Sheldon
was talking about,

98
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:22,059
I had the greatest idea ever.

99
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,659
It even blows away my idea

100
00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:26,408
for a Star Wars themed coffee
shop called "Brewbacca's."

101
00:04:27,910 --> 00:04:30,391
You need to watch
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

102
00:04:30,393 --> 00:04:32,575
It is the perfect show
for the two of us.

103
00:04:32,577 --> 00:04:34,275
It's got action and jokes

104
00:04:34,277 --> 00:04:36,859
and hot vampires and romance.
I cannot oversell this!

105
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,391
What do you say?

106
00:04:38,393 --> 00:04:41,391
It's 6:30 in the morning.

107
00:04:43,225 --> 00:04:45,358
I thought you
grew up on a farm.

108
00:04:48,526 --> 00:04:51,026
Hello, SyFy Network?

109
00:04:51,028 --> 00:04:54,109
Yeah, this is your
vice president of programming.

110
00:04:54,111 --> 00:04:57,408
Now, we have made a horrible
mistake regarding Alphas.

111
00:04:57,410 --> 00:05:00,508
Yeah, we need to uncancel it
immediately.

112
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:02,992
Well, you just put me through
to the people who handle that,

113
00:05:02,994 --> 00:05:04,224
you tell them it's me,

114
00:05:04,226 --> 00:05:06,076
and I don't want to answer
a lot of questions

115
00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:08,391
about if I really am
who I say I am, you know?

116
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,358
I just... I want this done.

117
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,242
No, I am not the person
who just called.

118
00:05:16,326 --> 00:05:19,191
That man was clearly a cowboy.

119
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,492
Yeah, who was plumb concerned

120
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,059
about y'all canceling
his favorite show.

121
00:05:23,576 --> 00:05:26,775
Why do they keep
hanging up on me?

122
00:05:26,777 --> 00:05:28,158
I'm sorry you're upset.

123
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,892
You know, Sheldon, sometimes
people seek the comfort

124
00:05:31,894 --> 00:05:34,358
of physical contact
in moments like this.

125
00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,942
I am not flying
back to Texas

126
00:05:40,944 --> 00:05:43,375
just so my mom
can give me a hug.

127
00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:46,076
Okay.

128
00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:48,408
Well, what I think
is going on here

129
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:51,158
is you have a pathological
need for closure.

130
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,325
Oh, that's nonsense.

131
00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:56,108
I mean, you tell me stories
about your day all the time.

132
00:05:56,110 --> 00:05:57,692
I don't care how they end.

133
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,659
You know, I might be able
to help you with this.

134
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,492
There's a whole field
of behavioral neuroscience

135
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:07,224
that examines ways to retrain
your neural pathways

136
00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:09,275
so stuff like this
bothers you less.

137
00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:10,609
Yeah, but I just told you,

138
00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:12,242
I don't have a problem
with closure.

139
00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:13,742
You sure about that?

140
00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:15,026
Oh, quite sure.

141
00:06:27,309 --> 00:06:28,492
That proves nothing.

142
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,075
Ready to go to lunch?

143
00:06:33,077 --> 00:06:35,041
Do you think I'm feminine?

144
00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:37,692
Yeah. Let's go.

145
00:06:38,743 --> 00:06:39,909
Thanks a lot.

146
00:06:39,911 --> 00:06:40,959
What's going on?

147
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,058
I broke down,
and I read Lucy's blog.

148
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,224
And in one
of the entries,

149
00:06:45,226 --> 00:06:46,725
she said, when we first met,

150
00:06:46,727 --> 00:06:48,358
I struck her
as a little feminine.

151
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,058
Just a little?

152
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:51,609
That's great.

153
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,075
I have to talk to her
about this.

154
00:06:54,077 --> 00:06:55,408
Oh, geez, why do you girls

155
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,058
always want to talk
about things?

156
00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,242
Listen to me,

157
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,625
if she's writing
about your relationship,

158
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,242
use it to your advantage.

159
00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:03,742
Rig the game.

160
00:07:03,744 --> 00:07:05,492
Well, that doesn't seem fair.

161
00:07:05,494 --> 00:07:07,892
Is it fair that girls
like confident, normal guys

162
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,242
more than nervous weirdos?

163
00:07:10,244 --> 00:07:11,492
No, it's not.

164
00:07:11,494 --> 00:07:12,893
I've always thought
that was unfair.

165
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,926
So take what's
in that blog

166
00:07:15,928 --> 00:07:18,325
and use it to get
her pants off.

167
00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,725
Why do you have to make
everything so filthy?

168
00:07:20,727 --> 00:07:22,575
Why couldn't you just say
the blog is like

169
00:07:22,577 --> 00:07:24,358
her giving me
the key to her heart?

170
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,325
"The key to her heart."

171
00:07:26,327 --> 00:07:27,892
That's nice.

172
00:07:27,894 --> 00:07:28,942
Were you quoting someone

173
00:07:28,944 --> 00:07:31,391
or is it tattooed
on the small of your back?

174
00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,391
I was quoting a man

175
00:07:33,393 --> 00:07:35,525
who knows a thing or two
about women:

176
00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:37,408
Sir Elton John.

177
00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:47,558
So, did you love it?

178
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,158
Of course you loved it.
How could you not love it?

179
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,609
Tell me how much you loved it.

180
00:07:51,611 --> 00:07:53,058
It was cute.

181
00:07:55,376 --> 00:07:57,391
Oh, don't say cute.

182
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,408
That's the worst.

183
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,558
W's wrong with cute?

184
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,575
It just makes things seem small.

185
00:08:01,577 --> 00:08:03,025
It diminishes them.

186
00:08:03,027 --> 00:08:06,492
So you want me to stop calling
your little tushy cute?

187
00:08:06,494 --> 00:08:09,058
You can try,
but nobody's gonna believe you.

188
00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:14,391
I just... I don't understand how
you can watch a show that great

189
00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:15,909
and not be excited by it.

190
00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,575
I liked it. I'm excited.

191
00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:19,742
Well, then, tell your face.

192
00:08:20,593 --> 00:08:22,191
What do you want from me?

193
00:08:22,193 --> 00:08:23,225
You know what?

194
00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:24,941
Never mind.
We gave it a shot.

195
00:08:24,943 --> 00:08:26,392
Let's just see
what else is on.

196
00:08:26,394 --> 00:08:28,489
Oh, come on,
don't be like that.

197
00:08:28,514 --> 00:08:29,159
Well...

198
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,442
I'm sorry I called it cute.

199
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:32,224
Let's watch another one.
Really?

200
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:33,242
Yeah, it was fun.

201
00:08:33,244 --> 00:08:35,191
Kind of reminded me
of my high school.

202
00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:37,892
But instead of vampires,
we had meth heads.

203
00:08:39,494 --> 00:08:43,208
But both came out at night
and had messed up teeth.

204
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:44,659
All right, cool.

205
00:08:44,661 --> 00:08:46,325
I-I think you'll like
the next one better.

206
00:08:46,327 --> 00:08:48,775
All the cheerleaders are
suffering from an evil curse.

207
00:08:48,777 --> 00:08:51,775
Oh. Well, that's like
my high school, too.

208
00:08:51,777 --> 00:08:54,642
But instead of a curse,
it was crabs.

209
00:08:56,892 --> 00:08:59,525
I've come up with
a series of exercises

210
00:08:59,527 --> 00:09:01,742
to help with your
compulsive need for closure.

211
00:09:01,744 --> 00:09:05,058
I take issue with
the word "compulsive."

212
00:09:06,243 --> 00:09:07,725
All I'm saying is,

213
00:09:07,727 --> 00:09:10,891
we live in a world where
closure isn't always an op...

214
00:09:22,476 --> 00:09:24,242
tion. Okay.

215
00:09:25,743 --> 00:09:28,941
For the sake of argument,
let's say I have a problem.

216
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,191
What would be your plan
for addressing it?

217
00:09:31,193 --> 00:09:33,825
I'm going to recondition
your brain

218
00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:38,058
so that the need for completion
isn't so overwhelming.

219
00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:41,391
By playing tic-tac-toe?

220
00:09:41,393 --> 00:09:43,558
Yep. Your turn.

221
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,659
Oh, Amy.

222
00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:47,742
And you wonder why people
think neuroscience

223
00:09:47,744 --> 00:09:50,025
is nothing but a goofy game
for diaper babies.

224
00:09:51,059 --> 00:09:55,108
Tic-tac-toe can only end
in win, lose or draw...

225
00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:58,325
none of which will
deny me closure.

226
00:09:58,327 --> 00:10:00,058
Especially since
I'm about to win.

227
00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:12,692
B-But we didn't finish.

228
00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:14,442
Exactly.

229
00:10:14,444 --> 00:10:16,058
How does that make you feel?

230
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,609
The same way any
normal person would.

231
00:10:19,611 --> 00:10:22,242
Feel like I want to
peel off my own face

232
00:10:22,244 --> 00:10:24,358
and tear it in two
and then again and again

233
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,408
until I have a handful
of Sheldon-face confetti.

234
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,575
And that's exactly the feeling
we want to address

235
00:10:29,577 --> 00:10:30,692
with this course of treatment.

236
00:10:30,694 --> 00:10:32,659
Yeah, or you could pitch in,
grab a nostril

237
00:10:32,661 --> 00:10:34,742
and help me get this face off.

238
00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,891
Come on, you can do this.

239
00:10:36,893 --> 00:10:39,659
You don't know what it's like
to feel completely frustrated.

240
00:10:39,661 --> 00:10:40,991
To have a-a desire

241
00:10:40,993 --> 00:10:42,891
build up within you
and be denied

242
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,492
any opportunity for release.

243
00:10:52,892 --> 00:10:54,575
Yeah, sounds like a drag.

244
00:11:10,249 --> 00:11:11,780
Okay, help me out here.

245
00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:13,630
Why does he love
this show so much?

246
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,047
Well, there was action,
it was funny.

247
00:11:16,049 --> 00:11:17,664
I mean, you do get

248
00:11:17,666 --> 00:11:20,297
that usually the monster
chases the pretty girl,

249
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:23,147
but this time the pretty girl
chases the monsters?

250
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:26,313
Yippee, it's backwards.

251
00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:28,163
I get it.

252
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,746
Why does this
bother you so much?

253
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,464
I don't know.

254
00:11:32,466 --> 00:11:34,796
It's just, he's so passionate
about so many different things.

255
00:11:34,798 --> 00:11:36,280
I just don't get that way.

256
00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:37,547
Do you?

257
00:11:37,549 --> 00:11:40,380
Well, sure. I'm pretty
passionate about science.

258
00:11:40,382 --> 00:11:42,996
I remember the first time
I looked through a microscope

259
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:45,414
and saw millions
of tiny microorganisms.

260
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:47,746
It was like
a whole other universe.

261
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:52,380
If I wanted to, I could wipe
it out with my thumb like a god.

262
00:11:53,598 --> 00:11:56,330
See? I wish I had some
of that fire in my life.

263
00:11:56,332 --> 00:11:58,247
I mean, I want
to care about things

264
00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,830
and get excited
like you guys.

265
00:11:59,832 --> 00:12:01,213
Well, there's no
reason you can't.

266
00:12:01,215 --> 00:12:02,380
You think?

267
00:12:02,382 --> 00:12:04,364
Absolutely.
All we need to do is spend

268
00:12:04,366 --> 00:12:06,963
a little time and find something
you're passionate about.

269
00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:10,664
That sounds
like a lot of work.

270
00:12:15,081 --> 00:12:16,497
Hey, what's up?

271
00:12:16,499 --> 00:12:18,630
Uh, Lucy's coming over.
I need some advice.

272
00:12:18,632 --> 00:12:23,514
However long you think the
foreplay should be, triple it.

273
00:12:24,648 --> 00:12:27,547
Just tell me which one you think
is more manly.

274
00:12:27,549 --> 00:12:30,664
This hockey jersey or...

275
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,380
this football jersey.

276
00:12:32,382 --> 00:12:35,913
I don't know. Go with hockey.

277
00:12:35,915 --> 00:12:38,297
Good... black is more slimming.

278
00:12:39,898 --> 00:12:41,130
Oh, that's her.

279
00:12:41,132 --> 00:12:43,664
I got to go be butch.
Toodles.

280
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,047
Hey.
Hi.

281
00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:51,996
Come in.

282
00:12:51,998 --> 00:12:54,497
Oh, look how cute
your little doggy is.

283
00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:56,497
Yeah, well,
I wouldn't get too close.

284
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,247
If I give the right command
in German,

285
00:12:58,249 --> 00:12:59,713
she'll rip your face off.

286
00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:15,547
Next.

287
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:21,863
That's quite an impressive
layout, isn't it?

288
00:13:24,114 --> 00:13:25,713
Yes.

289
00:13:28,498 --> 00:13:30,330
Let's box it up.

290
00:13:32,048 --> 00:13:33,996
"Let's box it up."

291
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:44,963
That's enough.

292
00:13:45,947 --> 00:13:48,080
Sheldon, Sheldon, give it!

293
00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:54,397
Okay, Sheldon, make a wish
and blow out the candles.

294
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:01,963
Oops, missed one.

295
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,047
Now your wish can't come true.

296
00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:09,297
Lucky for you,
'cause I wished you were dead.

297
00:14:13,498 --> 00:14:14,963
I like your jersey.

298
00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:16,663
Thanks. I love hockey.

299
00:14:16,665 --> 00:14:18,280
Oh, cool. So does my dad.

300
00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:20,247
We watched it
all the time growing up.

301
00:14:20,249 --> 00:14:21,963
Who's your favorite player?

302
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:30,464
Not Brian Boitano,
that's for sure.

303
00:14:32,064 --> 00:14:33,330
How's your burrito?

304
00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:35,913
It's still a little frozen
in the middle.

305
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:37,629
Probably because I didn't read
the instructions.

306
00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:40,796
No wrapper's
going to tell me what to do.

307
00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,546
Unless his name is Jay-Z.

308
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:45,297
Is something going on?

309
00:14:45,299 --> 00:14:46,397
What do you mean?

310
00:14:46,399 --> 00:14:48,130
Well, you're acting all weird.

311
00:14:48,132 --> 00:14:49,546
And I'm pretty weird,

312
00:14:49,548 --> 00:14:52,163
so I think I know
what I'm talking about.

313
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:56,380
I don't know. Maybe it's all
those steroids I've been taking.

314
00:14:56,382 --> 00:14:58,546
I think I'm gonna go.

315
00:14:58,548 --> 00:15:00,996
Thank you for the burrito
and the pork rinds

316
00:15:00,998 --> 00:15:02,447
and the 20-minute lecture

317
00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:05,880
on why monster trucks
are better than regular trucks.

318
00:15:05,882 --> 00:15:07,546
Wait, wait.

319
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:12,130
I-I found your blog
where you wrote about me.

320
00:15:12,132 --> 00:15:15,380
Oh. I kind of just write that
for myself.

321
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,163
I didn't think anybody
actually read it.

322
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:19,414
No kidding. You didn't make it
easy to find.

323
00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:21,213
I spent hours
digging around online.

324
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,466
For the record, you have
excellent credit scores.

325
00:15:25,214 --> 00:15:26,713
And your diabetic aunt seems

326
00:15:26,715 --> 00:15:29,546
to be adjusting
to her new leg just fine.

327
00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,996
Why were you acting
so strange tonight?

328
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,247
You called me feminine.

329
00:15:35,249 --> 00:15:36,297
And I...

330
00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:39,163
I wanted you to think
I was more manly.

331
00:15:39,165 --> 00:15:42,130
Raj, I didn't say "feminine"
was a bad thing.

332
00:15:42,132 --> 00:15:44,213
I meant that you're sweet
and thoughtful

333
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:46,247
and your skin looks so much
like caramel,

334
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,779
I just want to dip
an apple in your face.

335
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,380
I do have a pretty
balls-to-the-wall

336
00:15:51,382 --> 00:15:54,130
moisturizing regimen.

337
00:15:54,132 --> 00:15:56,297
So, are you okay?

338
00:15:56,299 --> 00:15:57,830
Yeah.

339
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,612
Good.

340
00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:00,880
Do you even like hockey?

341
00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:02,297
No.

342
00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:03,612
Bought this
at the Staples Center

343
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,330
when I went
to see Taylor Swift.

344
00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:12,080
So, I was thinking
how excited you get

345
00:16:12,082 --> 00:16:14,496
about stuff like Buffy
or science

346
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:17,330
or which TV remote
you and Sheldon should buy.

347
00:16:17,332 --> 00:16:18,546
The "Harmony One" was fine.

348
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:20,414
We didn't need to upgrade
to the 1100,

349
00:16:20,416 --> 00:16:23,713
which he knows
is too big for my hand.

350
00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:27,047
See, that's the kind of passion
I didn't think I had.

351
00:16:27,049 --> 00:16:29,629
But then I realized
I'm passionate about you.

352
00:16:29,631 --> 00:16:34,297
Oh... my cute little tushy
strikes again.

353
00:16:35,214 --> 00:16:37,163
No, I'm serious.

354
00:16:37,165 --> 00:16:39,546
Look, I've always had
these plans.

355
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:42,280
I was gonna be in movies
and live this glamorous life,

356
00:16:42,282 --> 00:16:43,663
and anything less than that

357
00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:45,130
just wasn't worth
getting excited about.

358
00:16:45,132 --> 00:16:47,247
Those things can still happen.

359
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:48,414
Oh, obviously it's gonna happen.

360
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,779
Yeah, a psychic at a
bachelorette party told me so.

361
00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:53,546
Anyway, what I meant was...

362
00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:56,113
I shouldn't wait, you know?

363
00:16:56,115 --> 00:17:01,130
I've got you, I've got Sheldon,
all these wonderful friends.

364
00:17:01,132 --> 00:17:03,546
My life is exciting right now.

365
00:17:03,548 --> 00:17:05,796
That's a big deal.

366
00:17:05,798 --> 00:17:08,880
It is, isn't it?

367
00:17:10,381 --> 00:17:12,629
So, does that mean
we get to do stuff

368
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:16,280
like talk about cool shows
or get dressed up

369
00:17:16,282 --> 00:17:19,313
in matching costumes
and go to Comic-Con?

370
00:17:19,315 --> 00:17:23,612
Leonard, I had an epiphany,
not a stroke.

371
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,330
Amy, I must say,
I was skeptical at first,

372
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:32,963
but this has truly been
a transformative evening.

373
00:17:32,965 --> 00:17:35,779
I'm a little surprised to hear
you feeling so positive.

374
00:17:35,781 --> 00:17:38,330
Well, you're an excellent
neuroscientist,

375
00:17:38,332 --> 00:17:42,163
you're a wonderful
girlfriend, and...

376
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,913
And?

377
00:17:45,915 --> 00:17:48,779
Doesn't matter, does it?

378
00:17:48,781 --> 00:17:51,247
I'm proud of you, Sheldon.

379
00:17:54,613 --> 00:17:56,946
And a complete sucker.

380
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,446
Oh, yeah.

381
00:18:10,897 --> 00:18:12,763
There he is.

382
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:28,030
Don't stop. Yes, keep going.

383
00:18:28,032 --> 00:18:30,663
Just like that.
Almost there, almost there.

384
00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:37,030
Sheldon, you big weirdo,

385
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,063
I want you to know that I love
that you're in my life.

386
00:18:40,065 --> 00:18:42,896
I love you, too.

387
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,746
Hello. Uh, is this
the Bruce Miller who wrote

388
00:18:56,747 --> 00:18:59,810
the season finale of Alphas?

389
00:18:59,812 --> 00:19:02,643
Oh, smashing.
Yeah, you already sound nicer

390
00:19:02,645 --> 00:19:04,677
than the last Bruce Miller
who suggested

391
00:19:04,679 --> 00:19:07,560
I have sexual relations
with myself.

392
00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:09,043
Yeah, now, down to business.

393
00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:10,760
Um, your show ended
on a cliffhanger.

394
00:19:10,762 --> 00:19:14,694
Could you please tell me
how you planned to resolve it?

395
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,810
Uh-huh.

396
00:19:16,812 --> 00:19:18,377
Mm-hmm.

397
00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:19,727
I see.

398
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:21,882
Well, that all stinks.

399
00:19:21,884 --> 00:19:23,515
No wonder you got canceled.
Bye.

400
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:28,512
== sync, corrected by elderman ==