1
00:00:00,802 --> 00:00:01,801
No husbands,

2
00:00:01,803 --> 00:00:03,687
no boyfriends, no rules.

3
00:00:03,689 --> 00:00:05,088
No rules?

4
00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:07,223
We're not gonna get drunk
and have a six-way

5
00:00:07,225 --> 00:00:09,476
with the Blue Man Group, are we?

6
00:00:09,478 --> 00:00:11,177
No.

7
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,595
So there are some rules.

8
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:13,680
Fine.

9
00:00:13,682 --> 00:00:16,983
No husbands, no boyfriends,
some rules.

10
00:00:16,985 --> 00:00:17,767
Thank you.

11
00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:20,770
Vegas!

12
00:00:20,772 --> 00:00:23,857
The ladies are away,
the boys will play.

13
00:00:23,859 --> 00:00:25,141
Anything can happen.

14
00:00:25,143 --> 00:00:26,810
It's gonna get crazy.

15
00:00:26,812 --> 00:00:28,511
Dungeons & Dragons!

16
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,414
I got a brand-new bikini,

17
00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:35,151
so drinks at the pool
are on these.

18
00:00:35,153 --> 00:00:38,505
I got a sexy new tube top
that says "Come hither"

19
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:42,325
and a can of pepper spray
that says "Close enough, Jack."

20
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:45,011
I got some old underwear
I'm gonna throw on stage

21
00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:47,464
at the Garth Brooks concert.

22
00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:49,766
I'm sorry, why old?

23
00:00:49,768 --> 00:00:51,834
'Cause last time I saw him,
I threw new ones

24
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:53,186
and it got me nothing.

25
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,690
I've got a brand-new
seven piece set

26
00:00:56,692 --> 00:00:58,308
of polyhedral dice.

27
00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:01,144
Hello, new dice smell.

28
00:01:02,346 --> 00:01:03,679
I've got my helm
of lordly might,

29
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:06,032
my boots of speed,
and if things get too exciting,

30
00:01:06,034 --> 00:01:08,684
my inhaler of asthma.

31
00:01:08,686 --> 00:01:11,705
I got my new bloodthirsty
savage warrior

32
00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:14,524
who will lay waste to all
who stand before him.

33
00:01:14,526 --> 00:01:16,242
And I had a sensible salad
for lunch,

34
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,361
so I can eat
all the pizza I want.

35
00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:20,130
Come on, are we
gonna sit around

36
00:01:20,132 --> 00:01:21,864
chatting like a bunch
of teenage girls,

37
00:01:21,866 --> 00:01:24,551
or are we gonna play D & D
like a bunch of teenage boys

38
00:01:24,553 --> 00:01:27,203
who are never gonna have sex
with those teenage girls?

39
00:01:28,872 --> 00:01:31,224
Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!

40
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:33,093
The Dungeon
of Mofooskay-Heeko!

41
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:34,377
The Dungeon of
Mofooskay-Heeko!

42
00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,813
The Dungeon
of Mofooskay-Heeko!

43
00:02:04,337 --> 00:02:09,337
== sync, corrected by elderman ==

44
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:11,525
I'm actually glad
Lucy had to work tonight.

45
00:02:11,527 --> 00:02:14,161
Saved me the awkward
conversation about how I was

46
00:02:14,163 --> 00:02:16,947
gonna be hanging with my bros.

47
00:02:16,949 --> 00:02:19,583
Isn't every conversation
you two have awkward?

48
00:02:19,585 --> 00:02:21,001
Eh?

49
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,285
Painfully so.

50
00:02:22,287 --> 00:02:24,754
We have this rule on the phone
that if no one talks

51
00:02:24,756 --> 00:02:27,290
for three minutes,
you can just hang up.

52
00:02:28,826 --> 00:02:31,044
So into her.

53
00:02:31,046 --> 00:02:33,213
Ready whenever
you guys are.

54
00:02:33,215 --> 00:02:35,165
Yeah, yeah, we'll
be right there.

55
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:36,399
Yeah, Leonard...
Yeah?

56
00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:37,717
I'm not sure how I feel

57
00:02:37,719 --> 00:02:40,971
about Howard being
dungeon master instead of you.

58
00:02:40,973 --> 00:02:42,005
Oh, that's nice.

59
00:02:42,007 --> 00:02:44,191
But relax,
sometimes change is good.

60
00:02:44,193 --> 00:02:46,393
Uh, you were worried
about Zachary Quinto

61
00:02:46,395 --> 00:02:48,812
being the new Spock,
but you wound up liking him.

62
00:02:48,814 --> 00:02:49,846
Oh, please.

63
00:02:49,848 --> 00:02:51,481
Every time the topic
of change comes up,

64
00:02:51,483 --> 00:02:53,233
you throw Zachary
Quinto in my face.

65
00:02:54,202 --> 00:02:56,019
I'm upset the mailman
has a new haircut:

66
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:57,404
Zachary Quinto.

67
00:02:57,406 --> 00:02:59,322
I'm upset that daylight
saving time started:

68
00:02:59,324 --> 00:03:00,740
Zachary Quinto.

69
00:03:00,742 --> 00:03:03,026
I'm upset daylight saving time
Zachary Quinto.

70
00:03:03,028 --> 00:03:04,211
I'm saying this

71
00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:05,996
for the last time:
Zachary Quinto was

72
00:03:05,998 --> 00:03:07,881
a weird, wonderful,
unrepeatable event.

73
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,833
So stop using
him against me.

74
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,919
Okay, here we go.

75
00:03:12,921 --> 00:03:15,088
You find yourselves in

76
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:17,591
an overgrown old forest.

77
00:03:17,593 --> 00:03:20,927
Before you is a giant oak tree

78
00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:25,098
with a face on it that looks
a lot like Nicolas Cage.

79
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,651
He says,

80
00:03:27,653 --> 00:03:30,820
"Travel with caution.

81
00:03:32,073 --> 00:03:35,825
"These woods are home
to the bones

82
00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,727
"of many a fallen...

83
00:03:37,729 --> 00:03:39,946
hero!"

84
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:46,586
See, Howard's just as good
a dungeon master as I am.

85
00:03:46,588 --> 00:03:47,837
As good?

86
00:03:47,839 --> 00:03:50,457
You just got pantsed
in the schoolyard, four-eyes.

87
00:03:50,459 --> 00:03:52,509
Hey, come on, guys, focus.

88
00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:54,444
Um, uh...

89
00:03:54,446 --> 00:03:57,214
Oh, mighty Nicolas Cage tree,

90
00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:58,598
we thank you
for your warning,

91
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,550
but we are brave warriors,

92
00:04:00,552 --> 00:04:03,887
and nothing short of death
will keep us from our goal.

93
00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:09,476
Oh, Lucy's free after all.

94
00:04:09,478 --> 00:04:11,228
See ya.

95
00:04:12,096 --> 00:04:13,730
Hey, hey, hey,
you can't leave.

96
00:04:13,732 --> 00:04:14,915
We just started.

97
00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:16,449
You're right,
I should finish the game.

98
00:04:16,451 --> 00:04:19,536
I take my plus-one long sword,
stab myself in the face with it.

99
00:04:19,538 --> 00:04:21,571
I'm dead, I've got
a date with a girl.

100
00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:23,206
Bye.

101
00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:25,992
We'll be fine, watch.

102
00:04:25,994 --> 00:04:28,828
Suddenly, a spectral shape

103
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:32,582
rises from Koothrappali's
bloody corpse, and says,

104
00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,134
"Don't worry, buddies,

105
00:04:34,136 --> 00:04:36,136
"Ghost Raj will help

106
00:04:36,138 --> 00:04:38,004
guide you through the forest."

107
00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:40,456
"Well, I'm just

108
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,892
"a tree, but if I were you,
I'd listen to your

109
00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:44,761
ghost friend!"

110
00:04:48,149 --> 00:04:51,101
Go on, give him
your lunch money.

111
00:04:55,239 --> 00:04:58,191
I'm very happy you were able
to hang out tonight.

112
00:04:58,193 --> 00:04:59,442
Me, too.

113
00:04:59,444 --> 00:05:01,528
Not that it's up to you
to make me happy.

114
00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:03,079
Uh, well, unless
you find neediness sexy.

115
00:05:03,081 --> 00:05:04,781
In which case,
you're about to have dinner

116
00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:07,167
with the hottest man
on the planet.

117
00:05:08,869 --> 00:05:10,537
Can I tell you something?

118
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,289
I was so nervous
about seeing you,

119
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:14,708
before I left my apartment,
I put roll-on antiperspirant

120
00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:16,960
all over my body.

121
00:05:16,962 --> 00:05:18,494
Really?
Yeah.

122
00:05:18,496 --> 00:05:20,680
If sweat starts squirting
out the top of my head,

123
00:05:20,682 --> 00:05:22,716
you'll know why.

124
00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:24,601
I, uh, I'm sorry
to put you through that.

125
00:05:24,603 --> 00:05:26,519
Oh, it's okay.

126
00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:27,670
I've been trying
to force myself

127
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,356
to do things that
make me scared.

128
00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:31,608
What else have you been
thinking about doing?

129
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:33,143
Well, let's see.

130
00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:35,645
I'd love to be able to tell
the lady who cuts my hair

131
00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,530
that I don't like bangs.

132
00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:39,983
I like your bangs.

133
00:05:39,985 --> 00:05:41,785
Oh, thanks, I
like 'em, too.

134
00:05:50,711 --> 00:05:51,911
What else?

135
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:53,246
Mm...

136
00:05:53,248 --> 00:05:55,131
it's kind of a tie
between sending food back

137
00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:57,050
in a restaurant and
saying no to those kids

138
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,534
who sell magazines
door-to-door.

139
00:05:58,536 --> 00:05:59,753
Mm, yeah.

140
00:05:59,755 --> 00:06:01,671
Those are both toughies.
I know.

141
00:06:01,673 --> 00:06:04,007
I have a two-year
subscription to Guns & Ammo.

142
00:06:07,078 --> 00:06:09,712
I push my shoulder
against the secret door

143
00:06:09,714 --> 00:06:11,264
to see if it gives way.

144
00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:12,382
Uh...

145
00:06:12,384 --> 00:06:13,516
it does.

146
00:06:16,321 --> 00:06:18,988
He does sound
effects, too!

147
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:22,442
Hey, I always did sound effects.

148
00:06:22,444 --> 00:06:25,745
A-A swarm of bloodthirsty bats
fly through the dungeon.

149
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:31,835
Uh, uh, they attack
a nearby unicorn.

150
00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:40,777
Okay, well, I have a sound
effect for those sound effects.

151
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:46,049
Guess who!

152
00:06:46,051 --> 00:06:47,350
What are you doing back?

153
00:06:47,352 --> 00:06:50,586
That's an excellent
question. Amy?

154
00:06:50,588 --> 00:06:53,056
Uh, well...

155
00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:54,858
when we were going
through security,

156
00:06:54,860 --> 00:06:57,277
I got pulled
out of line for a pat-down.

157
00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:58,495
The, uh,

158
00:06:58,497 --> 00:07:00,864
TSA agent got
a little handsy...

159
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,199
I may have broken

160
00:07:03,201 --> 00:07:04,934
her nose with my elbow.

161
00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:08,121
Long story short,
she's on the No Fly List

162
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:11,124
and we might have been
followed here by a drone.

163
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,959
I'm sorry.

164
00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,911
I feel like such an idiot.

165
00:07:14,913 --> 00:07:15,945
Oh, it's not so bad.

166
00:07:15,947 --> 00:07:17,380
You lost money, you're
filled with shame

167
00:07:17,382 --> 00:07:18,915
and you got groped
by a stranger.

168
00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,384
I mean, that's Vegas,
you nailed it.

169
00:07:21,386 --> 00:07:23,636
You guys enjoy your evening.

170
00:07:23,638 --> 00:07:25,972
I'm gonna go before I ruin
anybody else's weekend.

171
00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:28,458
That's my girl.

172
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:30,343
No, no.

173
00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:32,345
Amy, wait. Uh, uh,
I know it's not

174
00:07:32,347 --> 00:07:33,513
the night you had in mind,

175
00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:35,265
but why don't you guys stay
and play with us?

176
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:36,232
It'll be fun.

177
00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:37,434
It would... fun?

178
00:07:37,436 --> 00:07:38,685
Yeah, okay,
three weeks ago,

179
00:07:38,687 --> 00:07:39,853
you bought crunchy
peanut butter,

180
00:07:39,855 --> 00:07:42,105
but now you want the
girls to play D & D...

181
00:07:42,107 --> 00:07:44,040
do you have a
drug problem?

182
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:45,658
What's the big deal?

183
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,244
Raj bailed, so we could
use some extra players.

184
00:07:48,246 --> 00:07:49,979
Well, I've just never
played Dungeons & Dragons

185
00:07:49,981 --> 00:07:51,981
with girls before.

186
00:07:51,983 --> 00:07:52,949
Oh, don't worry, sweetie.

187
00:07:52,951 --> 00:07:55,101
No one has.

188
00:07:56,854 --> 00:07:58,955
So, what do you say?

189
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:02,959
I'll leave it up to
the dungeon master.

190
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:07,347
Yeah, a... satanic fungus

191
00:08:07,349 --> 00:08:10,350
that looks suspiciously
like Al Pacino

192
00:08:10,352 --> 00:08:13,937
rises from the forest floor
and says,

193
00:08:13,939 --> 00:08:16,306
"You're playing D & D.

194
00:08:16,308 --> 00:08:18,391
"You're playing
D & D.

195
00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:21,311
"This whole apartment...

196
00:08:22,496 --> 00:08:25,198
is playing D & D."

197
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,027
Okay, who wants a drink?

198
00:08:38,029 --> 00:08:41,330
Yeah, we... now, Penny,
we don't consume alcohol

199
00:08:41,332 --> 00:08:42,865
during Dungeons & Dragons.

200
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:45,617
It impairs our judgment.

201
00:08:45,619 --> 00:08:47,503
Oh, this isn't alcohol.

202
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:50,589
It's a magic potion
that makes me like you.

203
00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:56,428
Double potion, please.

204
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,513
Okay, here we go.

205
00:08:57,515 --> 00:08:59,014
You find yourselves

206
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:03,185
face-to-face
with two hulking ogres.

207
00:09:03,187 --> 00:09:05,220
"What are you doing

208
00:09:05,222 --> 00:09:06,972
"in our dungeon?

209
00:09:08,925 --> 00:09:11,994
You shall die!"

210
00:09:11,996 --> 00:09:14,196
Okay, literal
goose bumps.

211
00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:16,365
Look.

212
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:17,816
What do you do?

213
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,267
I draw my broadsword.

214
00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:20,435
I ready my
quarter-staff.

215
00:09:20,437 --> 00:09:23,271
I drink my potion.

216
00:09:24,908 --> 00:09:26,942
- I say we attack the big one.
- You know what?

217
00:09:26,944 --> 00:09:28,160
Give me the dice,
I want to roll.

218
00:09:28,162 --> 00:09:29,211
Well, the dungeon master's

219
00:09:29,213 --> 00:09:30,278
supposed to roll.

220
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,630
Yeah, well I'm supposed
to be in Vegas

221
00:09:31,632 --> 00:09:33,615
throwing up on a shrimp buffet.
Now give it.

222
00:09:35,835 --> 00:09:37,469
All right,
what do I need?

223
00:09:37,471 --> 00:09:40,055
Uh, 15 or higher.

224
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,890
15's the point, the point is 15.

225
00:09:41,892 --> 00:09:45,644
Give the little lady some room,
here it is, coming out.

226
00:09:45,646 --> 00:09:46,628
Sixteen!

227
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:49,148
Yes!

228
00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:51,800
Oh, please tell me
we're playing for money.

229
00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:53,318
Oh, even better than money.

230
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,071
You gained experience points.

231
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,407
More potion, please.

232
00:09:58,409 --> 00:09:59,825
Yeah.

233
00:10:00,994 --> 00:10:03,195
How are
your crab cakes?

234
00:10:03,197 --> 00:10:04,613
Kind of funky.

235
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:05,414
That's great.

236
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:06,615
It is?

237
00:10:06,617 --> 00:10:10,002
Does "funky" mean
something different in India?

238
00:10:10,004 --> 00:10:12,504
No, no. Uh, you've always
wanted to send your food back

239
00:10:12,506 --> 00:10:14,089
in a restaurant;
here's your chance.

240
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:14,958
Mm.

241
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:16,508
It's okay. I just won't eat 'em.

242
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:18,594
Don't be ridiculous. Waiter?

243
00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:21,180
Everything all right?

244
00:10:21,182 --> 00:10:23,766
Uh... yeah.

245
00:10:23,768 --> 00:10:26,168
Everything all right with you?

246
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,519
Yes.

247
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:29,805
'Kay, thanks, bye.

248
00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:31,974
Hold on.

249
00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:34,109
Isn't there something else
you wanted to tell him?

250
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:37,362
N-No, it-it's fine. Uh...

251
00:10:37,364 --> 00:10:41,016
He's from a different country;
he doesn't understand our ways.

252
00:10:42,869 --> 00:10:45,020
Don't be silly. Just tell him.

253
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,873
I have to go to the bathroom.

254
00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:49,041
And it's not because

255
00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:50,409
the crab cakes are funky.

256
00:10:52,212 --> 00:10:53,495
So you're okay here?

257
00:10:53,497 --> 00:10:54,696
Uh, yeah, sorry.

258
00:10:54,698 --> 00:10:56,715
She's just a little shy.

259
00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:59,084
The-the first time we met,
she was so nervous,

260
00:10:59,086 --> 00:11:02,054
she climbed out a bathroom
window to get away from me.

261
00:11:16,870 --> 00:11:18,720
Uh-oh.

262
00:11:22,692 --> 00:11:24,693
Hey, Raj.

263
00:11:24,695 --> 00:11:27,562
Funny story.

264
00:11:28,665 --> 00:11:31,917
Come on, mama wants a
pair of dead ogres!

265
00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:34,753
17! The larger ogre is dead!

266
00:11:36,624 --> 00:11:38,173
The-the other ogre says,

267
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:41,426
"You killed my brother.

268
00:11:41,428 --> 00:11:44,913
Now Ogre Thanksgiving
is ruined."

269
00:11:45,765 --> 00:11:47,716
That is amazing.

270
00:11:47,718 --> 00:11:50,269
He made me care
about the ogre!

271
00:11:51,187 --> 00:11:52,965
All right, Amy,
there's one ogre left.

272
00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:54,549
Take him out!
Okay.

273
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,801
Pretend he's that
TSA agent. Come on.

274
00:11:58,804 --> 00:11:59,704
Nineteen!

275
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,174
Yes!

276
00:12:03,176 --> 00:12:05,560
This is turning out to be
even better than Vegas!

277
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:08,179
No, it's not!

278
00:12:11,317 --> 00:12:12,434
Lucy?

279
00:12:12,436 --> 00:12:13,818
Oh, hey.

280
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,770
Long time no see.

281
00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:19,891
You don't know me very well,

282
00:12:19,893 --> 00:12:21,826
but each time you crawl out
a bathroom window

283
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:25,363
to escape my company,
it chips away at my masculinity.

284
00:12:25,365 --> 00:12:27,115
I'm sorry.

285
00:12:27,117 --> 00:12:28,750
Why would you leave like that?

286
00:12:28,752 --> 00:12:30,401
You were pushing me;
I clearly didn't want

287
00:12:30,403 --> 00:12:33,338
to send my food back, and you
tried to make me do it anyway.

288
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:36,925
Okay, if I upset you, then why
didn't you just say something?

289
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:39,511
Well, how can I tell you I'm
upset if I can't tell the woman

290
00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:42,347
at Supercuts that my forehead's
my best feature?

291
00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:44,966
It's scary.

292
00:12:44,968 --> 00:12:46,768
Yeah, well, I like you a lot,

293
00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:48,636
and that's scary for me.

294
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:52,357
Mostly because
you're a proven flight risk.

295
00:12:52,359 --> 00:12:55,560
How could you like me a lot?

296
00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:58,313
Well, uh, for one thing,

297
00:12:58,315 --> 00:13:00,448
you have bigger
emotional problems than I do,

298
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:03,368
and I find that
very attractive in a woman!

299
00:13:04,704 --> 00:13:08,156
I-I don't know. I just...

300
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:10,325
I think you're wonderful.

301
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,501
I'm sweating out of my head.

302
00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:28,343
The dragon falls from the sky,
crashing into the volcano!

303
00:13:29,563 --> 00:13:31,096
But wait!

304
00:13:31,098 --> 00:13:32,313
He's not dead.

305
00:13:32,315 --> 00:13:33,765
He crawls out,

306
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:38,486
spreads his wings
and prepares to attack.

307
00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:39,521
Yeah, uh, wait!

308
00:13:41,273 --> 00:13:43,641
Doesn't he say
something first?

309
00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:47,629
You know, maybe in the voice
of a beloved celebrity?

310
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,447
Fine.

311
00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:53,284
"You'd think, after all these years,

312
00:13:53,286 --> 00:13:58,840
"I'd know not to fly
over volcanoes.

313
00:13:58,842 --> 00:14:01,176
I'm a freaking idiot."

314
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:05,213
The dragon's
Christopher Walken!

315
00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:07,715
That's perfect.

316
00:14:07,717 --> 00:14:09,017
All right, Amy,
it's your turn.

317
00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:10,101
We need one more hit.

318
00:14:10,103 --> 00:14:12,103
Finish him off!
Here we go.

319
00:14:12,105 --> 00:14:13,655
Fifteen?

320
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:16,007
It's a hit. The dragon collapses
to the ground!

321
00:14:16,009 --> 00:14:17,725
Wait.

322
00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:19,060
Wait.

323
00:14:19,062 --> 00:14:21,896
And says...

324
00:14:21,898 --> 00:14:24,232
"Mother?

325
00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:26,734
"Is that you?

326
00:14:27,870 --> 00:14:31,456
Your little boy is coming home."

327
00:14:33,242 --> 00:14:36,211
Oh, I don't know about you
guys, but I have been through

328
00:14:36,213 --> 00:14:38,413
the emotional
wringer tonight.

329
00:14:38,415 --> 00:14:40,632
This may be the potion
talking, but you are

330
00:14:40,634 --> 00:14:43,751
one fine-ass dungeon master.

331
00:14:43,753 --> 00:14:45,303
Oh, yeah?
Well, when we get home,

332
00:14:45,305 --> 00:14:47,172
I'm gonna take you
on a whole different adventure.

333
00:14:47,174 --> 00:14:49,224
Another quest

334
00:14:49,226 --> 00:14:51,976
by Wolowitz?
Count me in.

335
00:14:53,612 --> 00:14:56,097
Sheldon, they're talking
about sex.

336
00:14:56,099 --> 00:14:59,217
Oh, then I'm out.

337
00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:02,053
Ooh! I have an idea.

338
00:15:02,055 --> 00:15:03,988
Since it's not happening
anytime soon,

339
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,441
why don't your character
and your character

340
00:15:06,443 --> 00:15:08,409
do it in the game?

341
00:15:08,411 --> 00:15:10,411
Ooh!

342
00:15:11,096 --> 00:15:12,530
Come on, back
me up here.

343
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:13,498
Oh.

344
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,900
Ooh!
Ooh!

345
00:15:17,069 --> 00:15:21,172
Okay, I cast a love spell
on Sheldon and Amy.

346
00:15:21,174 --> 00:15:24,843
Oo... Sorry, I thought
you were gonna do that...

347
00:15:26,846 --> 00:15:29,047
The love spell takes effect.

348
00:15:29,049 --> 00:15:30,465
When Sheldon looks

349
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:33,918
at Amy, she is the most
beautiful half-orc

350
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,520
he's ever seen,

351
00:15:35,522 --> 00:15:37,388
and he's overcome

352
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:39,757
with a desire
to rip her armor off

353
00:15:39,759 --> 00:15:43,645
and gaze fondly
at her four hairy breasts.

354
00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:48,867
When Amy sees Sheldon,
he looks...

355
00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:51,936
well, just like Sheldon, 'cause
apparently she's into that.

356
00:15:53,622 --> 00:15:54,956
What do you do?

357
00:15:56,659 --> 00:15:58,293
I don't like this.

358
00:16:06,235 --> 00:16:09,787
You see what happens
when you let girls play D & D?

359
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:15,176
Amy.

360
00:16:15,178 --> 00:16:16,728
Amy.

361
00:16:17,731 --> 00:16:19,514
Amy.

362
00:16:19,516 --> 00:16:21,733
What?

363
00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:26,304
I've never knocked
on my own door before.

364
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:30,024
That was a wild ride.

365
00:16:30,026 --> 00:16:33,161
You don't have to come in here
and cheer me up.

366
00:16:33,163 --> 00:16:34,746
Thank you.

367
00:16:34,748 --> 00:16:36,497
Would you go tell
everyone else that?

368
00:16:36,499 --> 00:16:38,683
Because they sure think
otherwise.

369
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:41,869
I'll tell you what they think.

370
00:16:41,871 --> 00:16:44,923
They think our relationship
is a joke.

371
00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:48,960
Well, I don't think
our relationship is a joke.

372
00:16:48,962 --> 00:16:50,712
I think

373
00:16:50,714 --> 00:16:52,163
"a horse goes into a bar,

374
00:16:52,165 --> 00:16:53,948
bartender says,
'Why the long face?'"

375
00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,984
That's a joke.

376
00:16:57,453 --> 00:17:01,256
It's a good one, too,
because a horse has a long face.

377
00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:04,675
Sheldon,

378
00:17:04,677 --> 00:17:07,895
are we ever going to have
an intimate relationship?

379
00:17:07,897 --> 00:17:09,948
Oh, my.

380
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:11,950
That's an uncomfortable topic.

381
00:17:14,853 --> 00:17:17,588
Amy...

382
00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:19,791
fore I met you,

383
00:17:19,793 --> 00:17:24,012
I never had any interest
in being intimate with anyone.

384
00:17:24,847 --> 00:17:26,447
And now?

385
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:30,601
And now what?

386
00:17:32,704 --> 00:17:35,423
Do you have any interest now?

387
00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:38,760
I have not ruled it out.

388
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:40,161
Wow.

389
00:17:40,163 --> 00:17:42,397
Talk dirty to me.

390
00:17:42,399 --> 00:17:45,883
I know it doesn't seem
like it to you, but,

391
00:17:45,885 --> 00:17:48,269
for me, what we have

392
00:17:48,271 --> 00:17:51,489
is extremely intimate.

393
00:17:52,324 --> 00:17:55,059
I guess I know that.

394
00:17:55,061 --> 00:17:57,362
It's just...

395
00:17:57,364 --> 00:17:59,397
part of me wants more.

396
00:17:59,399 --> 00:18:01,416
More?

397
00:18:01,418 --> 00:18:03,001
I mean, look at us.

398
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:05,787
It's only been three years;
here we are in bed together.

399
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:12,994
Come on.

400
00:18:12,996 --> 00:18:14,595
Let's go back out there.

401
00:18:14,597 --> 00:18:17,748
Y... Well, no.
Hold on.

402
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:23,054
My Elven magic-user
and your half-orc warrior

403
00:18:23,056 --> 00:18:26,090
did have a love spell
cast on them.

404
00:18:27,192 --> 00:18:29,193
We wouldn't really
be playing the game right

405
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,429
if we didn't see that through.

406
00:18:32,247 --> 00:18:34,782
Okay.

407
00:18:36,802 --> 00:18:41,656
I believe that, uh,
we just killed a dragon.

408
00:18:43,492 --> 00:18:46,411
While the others
pillage the corpse,

409
00:18:46,413 --> 00:18:50,415
I lead you
to a secluded area

410
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:55,619
where I attempt
to remove your leather armor.

411
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:01,392
It comes off.

412
00:19:01,394 --> 00:19:04,345
Oh.

413
00:19:05,264 --> 00:19:06,814
What do you do?

414
00:19:09,468 --> 00:19:11,635
I...

415
00:19:12,821 --> 00:19:15,656
kiss you... on the lips.

416
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:21,529
I kiss you back on the...

417
00:19:23,866 --> 00:19:25,333
lips as well.

418
00:19:26,952 --> 00:19:29,087
Your turn.

419
00:19:30,789 --> 00:19:33,458
I... remove your armor.

420
00:19:35,327 --> 00:19:37,295
What do you do?

421
00:19:37,297 --> 00:19:41,766
I... erotically caress your...

422
00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:45,470
nose.

423
00:19:45,472 --> 00:19:47,021
Keep rolling.

424
00:19:59,496 --> 00:20:01,697
Hey, you guys have been
in there for a while.

425
00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:03,699
- You doing okay?
- We're fine, thank you.

426
00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:05,718
Okay, we just want to say,
we feel really bad about...

427
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,838
Go away! Sheldon
is nibbling on my...

428
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,706
14! Yes!

429
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:15,708
== sync, corrected by elderman ==