1
00:00:03,506 --> 00:00:06,105
Sheldon, it's not a great time!

2
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,572
What do you want?

3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:10,805
Hello to you, too.

4
00:00:10,807 --> 00:00:13,572
I'm sorry,
but this is important.

5
00:00:13,574 --> 00:00:15,205
What is it?

6
00:00:15,207 --> 00:00:16,772
Back to the Future II was

7
00:00:16,774 --> 00:00:19,672
in the Back to the Future III
case...

8
00:00:19,674 --> 00:00:22,138
and Back to the Future III
was... get this...

9
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:25,305
in the Back to the Future II
case.

10
00:00:25,748 --> 00:00:27,280
So?

11
00:00:27,282 --> 00:00:32,413
So, did you do that, or am I
in the house with an intruder?

12
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,497
Sheldon, I got to go inside.

13
00:00:35,499 --> 00:00:38,330
It's getting rough out here.

14
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:42,413
You're dodging the question;
I knew it was you.

15
00:00:45,999 --> 00:00:47,347
What was that?

16
00:00:47,349 --> 00:00:48,864
What was what?

17
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:50,280
This isn't
a very good connection,

18
00:00:50,282 --> 00:00:53,413
but it sounded like someone
just released a kraken.

19
00:00:54,197 --> 00:00:58,413
Okay, I'm hanging up now.

20
00:00:58,415 --> 00:01:00,113
You know there's
no such thing as a...

21
00:01:02,866 --> 00:01:05,664
No...!

22
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,447
Penny... Penny...

23
00:01:08,449 --> 00:01:10,196
Penny...!

24
00:01:10,198 --> 00:01:12,613
What's the matter?

25
00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,646
Um... well, I was worried

26
00:01:15,648 --> 00:01:18,146
that you might be
missing Leonard.

27
00:01:19,197 --> 00:01:21,914
And that might be causing
you to have bad dreams,

28
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:25,163
like the kind you'd get if you
watched Clash of the Titans

29
00:01:25,165 --> 00:01:27,413
right before you went to bed.

30
00:01:28,164 --> 00:01:31,080
Sweetie, did you have
a bad dream?

31
00:01:31,948 --> 00:01:33,530
To be honest, I did.

32
00:01:33,532 --> 00:01:34,480
Aw.

33
00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:35,613
Back to the Future II was

34
00:01:35,615 --> 00:01:38,830
in the Back to the
Future III case.

35
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,947
Leonard did it.

36
00:01:40,949 --> 00:01:41,914
Good night.

37
00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:43,397
No, wait.

38
00:01:43,399 --> 00:01:46,196
Perhaps I should sleep here

39
00:01:46,198 --> 00:01:49,013
so you don't miss
Leonard as much,

40
00:01:49,015 --> 00:01:52,246
uh, 'cause you're being
kind of a baby about it.

41
00:01:56,698 --> 00:01:59,196
You know what?
That would make me feel better.

42
00:01:59,198 --> 00:02:01,080
Thank you.
You're welcome.

43
00:02:05,047 --> 00:02:07,196
Good night.

44
00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:37,896
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

45
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:39,637
I think you'd be
pleased to hear

46
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:41,353
that this morning in
the parking garage,

47
00:02:41,355 --> 00:02:43,169
I saw this oil
stain on the ground

48
00:02:43,171 --> 00:02:46,370
that was shaped just like
my ex-girlfriend, Lucy,

49
00:02:46,372 --> 00:02:48,453
and I didn't get upset at all.

50
00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:50,103
I'm proud of you.

51
00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:53,887
Well, you should be,
'cause she was looking good.

52
00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:57,220
Dear Lord!
You're an astronomer.

53
00:02:57,222 --> 00:02:59,103
Although you may
have earthly woes,

54
00:02:59,105 --> 00:03:01,420
get your mind back
on the stars.

55
00:03:01,422 --> 00:03:02,670
Gee, even the lowly
dung beetle

56
00:03:02,672 --> 00:03:06,036
chooses to plot its course
by using the Milky Way.

57
00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:07,203
Is that true?

58
00:03:07,205 --> 00:03:10,003
Everything I say is true.

59
00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:10,970
Now, of course,

60
00:03:10,972 --> 00:03:12,337
the dung beetle also enjoys

61
00:03:12,339 --> 00:03:14,353
eating feces, living in feces

62
00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,670
and making little
balls out of feces.

63
00:03:16,672 --> 00:03:20,387
So pick and choose which
aspects of its lifestyle

64
00:03:20,389 --> 00:03:22,353
you want to embrace.

65
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,854
Come on,
you can talk to girls now.

66
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:27,003
It shouldn't be hard for you
to meet someone new.

67
00:03:27,005 --> 00:03:28,186
How can I meet someone new

68
00:03:28,188 --> 00:03:30,903
when everywhere I look,
I see Lucy's face?

69
00:03:30,905 --> 00:03:32,637
Tell me you don't see her smile

70
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,003
in the crust
of this chicken pot pie.

71
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:37,853
Oh, will you stop it!

72
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,420
Now, listen to me.

73
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:44,553
There's a welcome party

74
00:03:44,555 --> 00:03:45,754
for incoming post-docs tonight.

75
00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:47,353
Go to it and meet someone

76
00:03:47,355 --> 00:03:50,603
who isn't made of grease or pie.

77
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,936
You think you're so cool
because your wife is a person?

78
00:03:56,338 --> 00:03:58,103
Look,

79
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,003
Bernie's at a neuroscience
conference with Amy...

80
00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:01,387
I'll go with you.

81
00:04:01,389 --> 00:04:02,537
You would do that for me?
Of course.

82
00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:03,770
You're my friend.

83
00:04:03,772 --> 00:04:05,136
I want you to be happy.

84
00:04:05,138 --> 00:04:07,020
Thanks. Oh, Sheldon,

85
00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:08,553
since Amy's out of town,
would you like to join us?

86
00:04:08,555 --> 00:04:11,253
I want you to be happy, too,

87
00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:14,553
but not enough
to do anything about it.

88
00:04:17,254 --> 00:04:19,003
Howie, stop.

89
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:20,103
I can't talk like that.

90
00:04:20,105 --> 00:04:22,803
Amy's right here.

91
00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,970
Sheldon, stop.
For the last time,

92
00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:28,186
I will not bring home bed bugs.

93
00:04:28,188 --> 00:04:29,336
The hotel's nice.

94
00:04:29,338 --> 00:04:31,053
There's a pool, a gym...

95
00:04:31,055 --> 00:04:32,670
the bar looks like fun.

96
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:36,553
Because I looked in the bed,
and there are no bugs.

97
00:04:36,555 --> 00:04:37,853
Aw, I love you, too.

98
00:04:37,855 --> 00:04:40,169
If I don't talk to you
before you go to sleep,

99
00:04:40,171 --> 00:04:42,136
I'll meet you in dreamland.

100
00:04:42,138 --> 00:04:43,387
Good night.

101
00:04:43,389 --> 00:04:46,687
No, I will not consider sleeping
in my garment bag.

102
00:04:50,037 --> 00:04:53,803
Penny, did you ever wonder
how Starfleet captains...

103
00:04:53,805 --> 00:04:55,986
No.

104
00:04:57,804 --> 00:05:00,020
Well, now that I've piqued
your interest,

105
00:05:00,022 --> 00:05:02,970
welcome to the exciting world
of 3D chess.

106
00:05:02,972 --> 00:05:04,886
Why don't you just admit

107
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,103
you only want to play this game

108
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,520
because you always
play it with Leonard

109
00:05:07,522 --> 00:05:08,637
and you miss him?

110
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:12,186
You overestimate
his significance in my life.

111
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,437
Oh...

112
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,553
Do I miss
how he makes a face

113
00:05:15,555 --> 00:05:17,836
on my toaster waffle
with syrup?

114
00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:19,420
No.

115
00:05:19,422 --> 00:05:21,720
Do I miss the way

116
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,637
he fixes the zipper on my jacket
when it gets stuck?

117
00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:26,720
I don't think so.

118
00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:28,769
Do I miss how
we say "good night"

119
00:05:28,771 --> 00:05:31,220
to each other through the walls
of our bedroom

120
00:05:31,222 --> 00:05:32,587
using Morse code?

121
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,853
Okay, I get it, I get it.

122
00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:40,720
You are an emotionless robot.

123
00:05:40,722 --> 00:05:43,120
Well, I try.

124
00:05:43,122 --> 00:05:45,753
All right, let's just get
this stupid game over with.

125
00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:46,986
Great. I'll go first.
Okay.

126
00:05:46,988 --> 00:05:49,136
By the way,
how are you with zippers?

127
00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:49,824
Why?

128
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,438
Well, I really need
to go to the bathroom,

129
00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:54,186
and this one's gone
all cattywampus.

130
00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:59,853
Wow, your work on
jellyfish neural nets

131
00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:01,203
sounds so interesting.

132
00:06:01,205 --> 00:06:02,387
It is.

133
00:06:02,389 --> 00:06:05,186
You can download my paper
off the university server.

134
00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:07,353
I will. You can
download my paper

135
00:06:07,355 --> 00:06:10,220
on the Van Allen Belts from the
university server as well.

136
00:06:10,222 --> 00:06:11,970
I will.

137
00:06:12,971 --> 00:06:15,136
All right.

138
00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,853
How'd it go?

139
00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:33,003
Well, if you like dry,
factual statements

140
00:06:33,005 --> 00:06:35,103
interspersed with painful
moments of silence,

141
00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,020
it was bananas.

142
00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:39,287
Check it out.

143
00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:41,353
Mrs. Davis from Human
Resources is here.

144
00:06:41,355 --> 00:06:44,003
She's probably on the lookout
for sexual harassment.

145
00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:45,253
Oh, great.

146
00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:48,169
There go my chances
of being sexually harassed.

147
00:06:48,171 --> 00:06:52,936
I heard her husband left her
for a hot, young undergrad.

148
00:06:52,938 --> 00:06:55,719
That's so much better
than the old, ugly ones.

149
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,886
Mr. Wolowitz,

150
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:02,936
Dr. Koothrappali.

151
00:07:02,938 --> 00:07:04,353
Mrs. Davis,
nice to see you.

152
00:07:04,355 --> 00:07:08,003
You know, I recently read
a fascinating article

153
00:07:08,005 --> 00:07:10,703
on infidelity among penguins.

154
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:13,303
Okay.

155
00:07:13,305 --> 00:07:15,936
So if the fact
that your husband left you

156
00:07:15,938 --> 00:07:17,836
makes you feel unattractive,
just remember,

157
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,869
penguins get cheated on,
and they're adorable.

158
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,437
It was better when you
couldn't talk to women.

159
00:07:38,604 --> 00:07:40,769
I was thinking of going
to the lecture

160
00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,669
on posterior cingulate
cortex lesions

161
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,936
in the formation
of autobiographical memory.

162
00:07:44,938 --> 00:07:46,886
Oh, brain lesions
are fascinating.

163
00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:49,970
Unless they're yours,
then they're a drag.

164
00:07:49,972 --> 00:07:52,503
To the advancement of science.

165
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:55,602
And to the sick and dying
who make it possible.

166
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,853
This is fun; we never
really get to talk shop

167
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:00,886
with Penny around.

168
00:08:00,888 --> 00:08:02,636
We usually just end up
talking about boys.

169
00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:04,936
Which is fine,
but it's nice to mix it up

170
00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:06,836
with a little intellectual
conversation.

171
00:08:06,838 --> 00:08:09,453
From the two gentlemen
at the bar.

172
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:11,053
Oh, my gosh, boys
bought us drinks!

173
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,719
Boys bought us drinks!

174
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:15,586
Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much.

175
00:08:16,971 --> 00:08:18,686
Be cool.
You be cool!

176
00:08:18,688 --> 00:08:21,769
Guys are hitting on us, and
not just to get to Penny.

177
00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:24,520
You're right.

178
00:08:24,522 --> 00:08:25,970
Thank you.

179
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,753
Ooh! Bad move.

180
00:08:32,755 --> 00:08:34,919
Really? Why?

181
00:08:34,921 --> 00:08:38,136
My queen can now take your rook
from below.

182
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:40,220
So that means I lose, right?

183
00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:41,853
It's over!

184
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,253
If I make this move...

185
00:08:45,255 --> 00:08:48,769
but I won't because we're having
too much fun.

186
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,437
Okay, let's take a break.

187
00:08:52,439 --> 00:08:55,353
We're all out of alcohol.

188
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:56,986
I wasn't going to get alcohol.

189
00:09:03,472 --> 00:09:05,220
Gosh, I wonder what
Leonard's doing right now.

190
00:09:05,222 --> 00:09:07,519
I miss him so much.

191
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:09,169
Well, if you'd like,

192
00:09:09,171 --> 00:09:10,552
we could call him.

193
00:09:10,554 --> 00:09:12,753
I-I mean that
you could call him.

194
00:09:12,755 --> 00:09:14,053
As I've explained,

195
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,186
the absence of my friends
does not cause me pain.

196
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:18,437
As rock and roll bad boy,
Paul Simon, once said,

197
00:09:18,439 --> 00:09:19,519
"I am a rock.

198
00:09:19,521 --> 00:09:21,769
I am an I-I-I-island."

199
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,736
I'm calling him.

200
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:26,602
Oh, goodie!
Put him on speakerphone!

201
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,353
Excuse me, ladies,

202
00:09:36,355 --> 00:09:37,970
but my pants are buzzing.

203
00:09:40,354 --> 00:09:42,836
North Sea, how can I "kelp" you?

204
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:45,886
Leonard?

205
00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:47,020
Penny?

206
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:48,136
Hey, it's Penny.

207
00:09:48,138 --> 00:09:49,336
Everybody say hi to Penny.

208
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,020
Hi, Penny!

209
00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:54,736
Wow, it sounds like
you're having a good time.

210
00:09:54,738 --> 00:09:57,619
Best time of my life!

211
00:09:59,221 --> 00:10:02,370
Isn't it 5:30
in the morning there?

212
00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:03,502
Is it?

213
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:06,220
Hey, everybody,
it's 5:30 in the morning!

214
00:10:08,255 --> 00:10:09,769
Uh...

215
00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:11,653
okay, well,
we were just calling you

216
00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:13,169
because we were missing you.

217
00:10:13,171 --> 00:10:14,387
Iceberg!

218
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:15,469
Uh-oh, hang on.

219
00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:17,103
Are you in danger?

220
00:10:17,105 --> 00:10:18,636
No, it's a drinking game.

221
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:20,669
Whenever we see an iceberg,
we take a shot!

222
00:10:20,671 --> 00:10:22,719
Berg! Berg!

223
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:25,136
Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg...

224
00:10:25,854 --> 00:10:27,136
Leonard, Leonard?

225
00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:32,970
I cannot believe we were
missing that jerk.

226
00:10:32,972 --> 00:10:35,786
You were.

227
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,350
So what happened?
How'd it go?

228
00:10:46,352 --> 00:10:48,749
It's fine. I thanked them again
and let them know

229
00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:49,682
we're not available.

230
00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:51,832
So I can drink this
without having

231
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,766
to give up the goodies?

232
00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:54,882
Yes, it's all cool.

233
00:10:54,884 --> 00:10:57,782
Although, if you wanted
to talk to one of them,

234
00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,099
no one would blame you.

235
00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:01,882
And why would no one
blame me?

236
00:11:02,717 --> 00:11:06,166
I don't know
what I'm saying.

237
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:08,682
Well, it sounds
like you're saying

238
00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:10,432
that I could do better
than Sheldon.

239
00:11:10,434 --> 00:11:12,799
Boy, these drinks are strong!

240
00:11:14,217 --> 00:11:18,449
Hoo, mama, I'm gonna be gginhu!

241
00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,632
No, tell me,
I want to know

242
00:11:21,634 --> 00:11:23,216
what you meant by that.

243
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:27,716
I just meant
that you're not married

244
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:29,632
and your boyfriend's kind of...

245
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:31,599
Sheldon.

246
00:11:31,601 --> 00:11:34,632
And your husband
is extremely Howard.

247
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:37,099
What's your point?

248
00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,016
Sorry.
I have no point.

249
00:11:40,018 --> 00:11:41,498
That was a stupid thing
to say.

250
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,882
Can we please just go back
to having a nice time?

251
00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:47,183
We could, but unfortunately
my brain is lesion-free

252
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:49,049
and I remember that
rotten thing

253
00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:51,300
you just said about
my sweet baboo.

254
00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:52,465
Come on. I apologize.

255
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:54,432
Can we please
just let it go?

256
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,632
Sure.
Thanks.

257
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:02,333
Your husband's weird
and his clothes are ridiculous.

258
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,816
I can't believe it!

259
00:12:05,818 --> 00:12:07,249
All this time
I've been doing nothing

260
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:08,816
but sit around
and miss that guy.

261
00:12:08,818 --> 00:12:10,465
And you know what
the worst part is?

262
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:11,999
That you're having to process

263
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:14,099
your emotional pain
without vodka?

264
00:12:19,017 --> 00:12:21,016
No.

265
00:12:21,018 --> 00:12:23,099
Yes.

266
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,999
But you know what
the second-worst part is?

267
00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,549
He does not miss me at all.

268
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:31,449
Allow me to comfort you.

269
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,616
At least you've got your health.

270
00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:39,233
Really? Tha-That's it?
That's comforting?

271
00:12:39,235 --> 00:12:43,299
Um, uh, in a hundred years,

272
00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:46,283
you'll both be dead
and it won't matter?

273
00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:48,432
No! Come on!

274
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,216
You're supposed to say,
"Of course he misses you.

275
00:12:51,218 --> 00:12:54,166
The only reason he's partying is
to cover up his pain."

276
00:12:54,168 --> 00:12:56,816
Oh, no, I don't think
that's true at all.

277
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,716
This is ridiculous.

278
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:03,216
Why am I upset just because
he's off having a good time?

279
00:13:03,218 --> 00:13:07,432
Well... perhaps you're
obsessively picturing him

280
00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:11,766
engaged in drunken coitus
with another woman.

281
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:17,782
Is that it?
Did I get it right?

282
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,382
Okay, tha-that's great.

283
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,666
You can stop trying to make me
feel better now.

284
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:25,432
Actually, I can't.
Before Leonard left,

285
00:13:25,434 --> 00:13:27,916
he made me promise
that I'd take care of you.

286
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:30,299
He did?
Yes.

287
00:13:30,301 --> 00:13:33,083
Oh, that's really sweet.

288
00:13:33,085 --> 00:13:34,766
Plus, if I do a good job,

289
00:13:34,768 --> 00:13:37,616
he said he'd bring me back
a sailor's cap.

290
00:13:39,516 --> 00:13:41,432
Now I miss him even more.

291
00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:46,016
Well, if it's any consolation,
I'm sure Leonard's tormented

292
00:13:46,018 --> 00:13:51,465
every moment he's away from your
warm embrace and cherry lips.

293
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:53,899
Thanks.

294
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,766
Oh, seriously?

295
00:13:58,366 --> 00:14:00,799
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Davis?

296
00:14:00,801 --> 00:14:02,099
What?

297
00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:05,133
I'd like to apologize
for being insensitive.

298
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,849
And for possibly making penguins
seem like jerks,

299
00:14:08,851 --> 00:14:12,349
'cause 99% of them
are stand-up guys.

300
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,382
Forget about it.

301
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,899
You know, you-you and I,
you and I have a lot in common.

302
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,315
Is that right?

303
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,016
Oh, yes, I-I, too,

304
00:14:22,018 --> 00:14:24,632
am in the throes of heartbreak.

305
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:26,432
Okay, fine,
I'll tell you about it.

306
00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:33,515
Here is a hot beverage
to comfort you.

307
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:35,415
It's in a to-go cup.

308
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,265
Make of that
what you will.

309
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,882
Come on. It's still early.

310
00:14:41,884 --> 00:14:43,265
Let's do something.

311
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:48,849
Well, I have been toying around
with an idea for 4-D chess.

312
00:14:48,851 --> 00:14:50,565
How about we just talk?

313
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:51,616
All right.

314
00:14:51,618 --> 00:14:53,882
In 4-D chess...
No.

315
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,582
Come on, let's talk
about our lives.

316
00:14:57,584 --> 00:14:59,465
Tell me something
about you I don't know.

317
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:00,882
Hmm.

318
00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:06,332
I own nine pairs of pants.

319
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:10,165
Okay, that-that's a good start,

320
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:11,515
but I was thinking
maybe something

321
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:12,565
a little more personal.

322
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,932
I see.
Hmm.

323
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:19,332
I own nine pairs
of underpants.

324
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,399
How about I go first?

325
00:15:23,401 --> 00:15:26,549
But I don't want to know
how many underpants you own.

326
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,632
Although, based on the floor
of your bedroom,

327
00:15:28,634 --> 00:15:30,382
I'd say it's a thousand.

328
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:34,882
Okay, look, here's something
people do not know about me.

329
00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:36,716
When I first moved out
to L.A.,

330
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:39,165
I did a topless scene
in a low-budget horror movie

331
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,766
about a killer gorilla.

332
00:15:40,768 --> 00:15:43,332
Ugh! After I did it,
I felt so ashamed.

333
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:46,499
Thankfully, that thing
never came out.

334
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,665
I've seen that.

335
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:51,716
Yeah. Serial Apeist.

336
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:57,265
Howard found it online
the day we met you.

337
00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:58,766
Oh, God...

338
00:15:58,768 --> 00:15:59,832
And it was literally

339
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,565
the moment you walked
out the door.

340
00:16:03,501 --> 00:16:08,098
But I see the type of personal
revelations you're going for.

341
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:11,799
Okay, here's one I thought
I'd take to the grave.

342
00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:13,083
Okay.

343
00:16:13,085 --> 00:16:15,382
Hmm.

344
00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:16,766
A while back,

345
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,966
YouTube changed
its user interface

346
00:16:19,968 --> 00:16:24,649
from a star-based rating system
to a thumbs-up rating system.

347
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:29,666
I tell people I'm okay with it,
but I'm really not.

348
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,182
That's your big revelation?

349
00:16:36,184 --> 00:16:38,916
Yes.

350
00:16:38,918 --> 00:16:41,499
Whew! I feel ten pounds lighter.

351
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,215
Okay, you know what?

352
00:16:43,217 --> 00:16:44,232
I give up.

353
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:46,248
I'm going to bed.

354
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,465
Here's something else
you don't know about me:

355
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,616
you just hurt my feelings.

356
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:52,816
What did I do?

357
00:16:52,818 --> 00:16:54,382
I opened up and shared something

358
00:16:54,384 --> 00:16:56,098
deeply upsetting to me,

359
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,265
and you treated it
as if it were nothing.

360
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,132
I-I didn't think
it was a big deal.

361
00:17:01,134 --> 00:17:03,966
It is to me; that's the point.

362
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,499
Sheldon, you are right.

363
00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:09,582
I'm really sorry.

364
00:17:09,584 --> 00:17:11,248
I should've known better.

365
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:13,082
Your apology is accepted.

366
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,165
Thank you.

367
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,465
How about a hug?

368
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,949
How about a hearty handshake?

369
00:17:17,951 --> 00:17:19,849
Come on.

370
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,816
Now I know how you felt
getting mauled

371
00:17:24,818 --> 00:17:28,048
by that sex-crazed
gorilla.

372
00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:44,549
Good night.

373
00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:46,332
Mm-hmm.

374
00:17:52,516 --> 00:17:55,782
It was rather flattering to have
strangers send us drinks.

375
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:58,282
Yeah, that felt nice.

376
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:02,882
Maybe tomorrow morning
we put on some hot pants

377
00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:06,082
and see if we can score us
some free omelets.

378
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:12,132
So, hypothetically, if-if we
were to have gone with them,

379
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,082
which one would you have picked?

380
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,699
I think I would

381
00:18:17,701 --> 00:18:20,432
have gone with the short one
with the goofy haircut.

382
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:22,498
Oh, good, 'cause I liked
the tall thin one.

383
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,682
He seemed intelligent,
kind of a loner,

384
00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:27,165
maybe a little sexually
inexperienced,

385
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,048
like I'd have to teach
him a thing or two.

386
00:18:31,918 --> 00:18:33,766
Not my guy.

387
00:18:33,768 --> 00:18:35,716
I caught him staring
at my rack.

388
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,665
It'd be nice to be with a man

389
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,432
who wants to know
what's underneath my cardigan.

390
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:44,432
FYI, it's another cardigan.

391
00:18:46,566 --> 00:18:49,899
Your short sexed-up guy
kind of sounds like Howard.

392
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:53,165
Your brainy virgin kind
of sounds like Sheldon.

393
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,766
Good night.
Night.

394
00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:01,432
All right, Dr. Koothrappali,
it's been nice talking to you,

395
00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:02,799
but I need to go home

396
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:03,931
and relieve my babysitter.

397
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:06,182
Yeah, I can relate
to being a single parent.

398
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:08,132
I have a dog.

399
00:19:08,134 --> 00:19:10,965
Yeah, it's exactly
the same thing.

400
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:12,265
Good night.

401
00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:13,931
Mrs. Davis...

402
00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:16,766
I, uh, I must confess,

403
00:19:16,768 --> 00:19:18,182
I came here tonight

404
00:19:18,184 --> 00:19:20,915
in a futile attempt
to pick up some lonely postdoc,

405
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:25,148
but instead I got to connect
with you at a human level.

406
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:27,915
That's a much better evening.

407
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,716
You're a lovely person.

408
00:19:30,718 --> 00:19:32,465
Are you hitting on me?

409
00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,215
No, no, no, that would be crazy!

410
00:19:34,217 --> 00:19:35,686
I mean, if I were hitting
on you, you'd know it

411
00:19:35,687 --> 00:19:38,485
'cause you'd feel uncomfortable
and a little sad for me.

412
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,632
You're sweet.

413
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,582
Good night, Dr. Koothrappali.

414
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:49,682
Good night.

415
00:19:51,183 --> 00:19:53,399
Looks like she accepted
your apology.

416
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,098
And then some.

417
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,182
I think we had a moment.

418
00:19:57,184 --> 00:19:59,849
Oh, please, you did not
have a moment.

419
00:19:59,851 --> 00:20:02,048
Who died and
made you king of moments?

420
00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:06,965
Okay, fine. Let's say
there was a moment.

421
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,832
There was.
There wasn't.

422
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:12,931
But... But even if there was,
what are you gonna do about it?

423
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:18,848
I will slowly seduce her until
she falls helpless into my bed,

424
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,848
hungry for the pleasure
only I can give her.

425
00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:22,716
So nothing.
No, not a thing.

426
00:20:30,736 --> 00:20:33,184
Ah...

427
00:20:33,186 --> 00:20:35,685
I'm so glad the police
finally caught

428
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:39,318
that psychotic
genetically engineered ape.

429
00:20:44,569 --> 00:20:46,785
That is my girlfriend!
I swear to God!

430
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,850
Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard! Leonard!

431
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:58,682
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man